#Not all the time but like. Island fruit is such an interesting label bc it implies things abt the way kiwis are seen as exotic. You know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trans-leek-cookie · 1 year ago

Text

[image id: a cropped picture of a bottle of calypso lemonade. The cropped portion is to highlight a paragraph of text, eith the title (all caps) Taste of the Islands. The paragraph reads: "Kiwis are like the geckos of island fruit. Hear me out, okay. We're both small. We're both green. And most importantly, we both know what it takes to make any part a beach party. Think about it. We're practically twins." The paragraph is signed Jojo (which I assume is the name of the mascot?) End id]

Ok so this whole paragraph is just. Random company bullshit right?

Well. As someone who looked up kiwis at some point for reasons I can't remember, it struck me as odd. Here's why:

Island Fruit.

Fun fact: kiwis are native to China. They are sometimes called Chinese Gooseberries.

But yknow maybe they were referring to the fact that a lot of them are grown on islands? Possibly. So I looked it up on Wikipedia.

[image description: a screenshot of the Wikipedia page for kiwi, specifically under the production section. It's a simple graph labeled "Top Kiwifruit Producing Countries". The countries are numbered from greatest to least produced. In order: China, New Zealand, Italy, Greece, Iran, Chile, Turkey, France, Portugal, and United States. Below is the source for the numbers. China produces approximately 2.2 million tonnes, while Aotearoa (aka New Zealand) produces .6 million tonnes. End ID]

So. China produces more than 3 times the second place country, and said second place country is the only island on the list.

Also, a quote from the production section: in China, kiwifruit is grown mainly in the mountainous area upstream of the Yangtze River, as well as Sichuan

In conclusion: the mountains of China are my favorite island

#I'm assuming they confused island with tropical or like thought they were synonyms?? I guess? I'm not like. Mad idk it's just. Wrong.#Fun fact: tropical and trope share a root- tropos (to turn). Idk how that works but if that sounds familiar it may be bc of the word #Zoetrope (a device that worked as pre-film way of creating animations) which also shares said root!#Idk if kiwis are ACTUALLY a tropical fruit but that description is like. Less Wrong than ''Island fruit''#And like I said I'm not Mad about this but I def feel like it speaks to the way ppl don't necessarily. Think about where fruits come from?#Not all the time but like. Island fruit is such an interesting label bc it implies things abt the way kiwis are seen as exotic. You know #Idk that's a deep dive I can't do but it just made me go wait. What. Bc I've been carrying around the little fact that kiwis are native to #China in my brain. Anyway I guess I could see the fact that Aotearoa is an island and they're associated w kiwis (ppl and birds) but still.#Anyway as always if image descriptions need improving pls lemme know

1 note · View note

maknaesdancersrappers · 6 years ago

Text

🎶 I imagined a night for us, girl all night, show me your tattoos, if it’s alright 🎶

a/n: this is highly suggestiveㅡlol no who am i kidding this is smut bc im jaehyun’s hoe on the last day of her period what do u expect im sorry for playing favorites but a hoe is a hoe and im fucking thirsty

i’ve placed a keep reading line, but in case it doesn’t work, it’s not my fault bc the tumblr app is a bitch like that

Who would have thought local goody two shoes, Jung Jaehyun, was interested in the likes of you?

While he aced his classes and studied at the library until sundown, you barely passed yours and partied until sunrise. He was known in campus as everyone’s first love and you were labelled as resident heartbreaker. His hair was always brushed, seldom times styled, and his skin was flawless while you kept yours either wild and free, or up in a messy bun and beneath your clothes, your skin was marred with tattoos.

No one would have ever guessed that Jaehyun would have even considered you as a candidate to be his girlfriend, let alone catch the two of you in the same room at the summer vacation kick off party.

You honestly didn’t bother with him, assuming he thought you were nothing but a troublemaker. So when you locked eyes with him and saw the faintest blush tinge his cheeks, to say you were curious was an understatement.

You had thought he was embarrassed for getting caught at staring at you, but you notice him following you around the party and your interest was piqued. You decide to gauge his reaction towards your behavior; you danced to the loud bass music, seeing his eyes twinkle when your friends laughed along with you as you sang loudly to the lyrics of the song. His face grew stoic, gaze dark with jealousy, when you danced with guys, grinding your ass against their crotches and letting their hands roam your body.

When you’ve had enough, you stumble to the kitchen and grab a drink. As you pour yourself a cup of tequila, you see Jaehyun amble into the room from your peripheral vision. Smiling to yourself, you hoist yourself up on the kitchen island, letting your dress bunch up your thighs, and take one of the pre-sliced lime wedges from the bowl.

“Hey, Yuta! Up for a body shot?” You yell, voice just louder than the music. A few guys cheer and Yuta grins, walking up to you.

“You know I’m always down for a body shot if it’s from you.” He jams his body between your legs and you roll your eyes, handing him the cup of tequila.

“Requests on salt and lime placement?” You ask in the fakest, sweet voice you can muster.

“Tits and lips, baby, you already know.” Yuta winks, tipping the cup at you and taking a small sip.

With another roll of your eyes, you take a pinch of salt that’s already served by the limes. Yuta leans forward, licking a wet stripe between your breasts that are revealed from the plunging neckline of your dress, and you press the salt particles there, successfully sticking them on.

He waits for you to place the lime between your lips before leaning back down, collecting the salt from the valley of your chest, pulling away to take a gulp of tequila, and finally pulling your face towards him to bite into the lime--and Yuta, being the sly boy that he is, made sure his lips grazes yours.

As you discard the lime from your lips, Yuta is already handing you a new one.

“Nuh-uh, twice in a row isn’t as fun.” You scoff, letting your eyes wander over to Jaehyun, who you had momentarily forgotten. His head is low while Sicheng talks to him, but judging from his red ears; he must have been watching the whole thing.

Yuta groans, looking around, “Hey, Sicheng! Want a body shot from [Y/N]?”

“No, thanks.” He declines, shooting you an apologetic smile.

You shrug as a reply. Sicheng might like parties, but he’s always been the most conservative in your circle of friends.

After a disappointed frown was sent over Sicheng, Yuta’s attention moves onto the man by him. “Oh, hey Jaehyun! How about you?”

“W-what?” Jaehyun looks over with a flustered expression and you were sure by now that he had been watching.

“Take a body shot with [Y/N]!”

He hesitates, eyes drifting towards you.

“Come on, Jaehyun! Summer is here, you gotta loosen up! It’s rare enough for her to invite guys to do body shots, but it’s even rarer for you to be at parties!” When Jaehyun doesn’t move, Yuta steps away from you to go over to him and drag him over. “You guys know each other right?”

“Of course, who doesn’t know our university’s golden boy?” You drawl, tilting your head to the side.

Jaehyun continues to blush, “Uhm, yeah, we went to the same elementary before.”

This makes you gawk at him, trying to remember his face from years ago. “We were?!”

He’s a bit disheartened to know you didn’t know that fact, but nods his head to confirm.

“Enough chitchat, take a shot, [Y/N]. Maybe it’ll help you jog your memory.” Yuta pushes Jaehyun towards you.

“Yuta, stop.” You groan, “Stop forcing others to take shots with me. Besides, I wouldn’t want to ruin the image of our golden boy.”

“I-” Jaehyun chokes out before Yuta can complain, “I don’t mind. I’ve just never done a body shot before.”

“Well lucky for you, I consider myself an expert.” You place a hand on his shoulder and lightly urge him to stand in between your legs. You bite back a knowing grin when Jaehyun’s gaze lingers at the sight of your bare thighs, curious eyes wondering what it looked like beneath the folds of your dress. “Would you mind if I did the shot on you?”

He shakes his head, finally bringing his eyes up to yours. “Not at all, do as you like.”

“As I like?” You grinned widely, glancing briefly at Yuta who is equally amused. “Are you sure?”

“Oh, man, Jaehyun, what I would give to be in your place.”

“Why? How do you like your body shots?”

Instead of answering, you pop the few buttons of his dress shirt until his collarbones are exposed. He didn’t seem to complain, but you can feel his body go rigid from your touch. “Relax, okay? I like my shots with salt on your collarbone, tequila in the dips above your clavicle, and a peeled lime wedge in your mouth.”

“In... my mouth?”

You nod your head, “Are you sure I can have it my way?”

“Y-yeah...” He mumbles and you honestly didn’t expect that response.

While Yuta cheers him on, you prepare for your shot; instructing him to tense up his shoulders so the dip between the base of his throat and collarbone can be deep enough to hold a shot. You pour the alcohol into the small well of his body and placed salt in the other. Quickly peeling a lime wedge, you pop it into his mouth, not missing the harsh breath he exhales.

“Here I go.” You whisper into his ear before ducking down, licking up the salt you placed. You felt him shiver, but you continue to the other side, slurping up the tequila. You throw your head back to let the alcohol burn down your throat, cupping Jaehyun’s cheeks to pull him closer. You slip your tongue between his lips, searching for the lime wedge you fed him, but was met with only the sour juice it produces.

With a weak indignant noise from your throat, you coaxed his tongue into yours; gently sucking the wet muscle and stripping it of the flavors of the fruit. His hands have settled on your hips, gripping tightly whenever you tried to take control of the kiss. Your hands have slithered over his shoulders, amazed at how broad they were and how the muscles beneath his shirt felt firm.

If it wasn’t for the rude wolf whistle from god know who, you wouldn’t have pulled away from Jaehyun’s lips.

“Sorry, I juiced the lime in my mouth.” He says, a little out of breath.

“Don’t be. I think I liked that better.” You whisper back.

Yuta snorts, reminding both of you that he was still very much present. “Well, I know when I’m not wanted. That was hot, by the way, I should have recorded it.”

“Ew, Yuta.” You grimaced at him, but he only laughs at you, walking away to wherever.

Jaehyun moves his thumbs around, drawing circles on your hips and bringing your attention back to him. His eyes are dark and glazed over, “Do you want head upstairs?”

Your lips quirk up into a smirk, “Sure.”

It didn’t take long for the two of you to find an unoccupied bedroom and have Jaehyun hovering over your frame. He straddles your hips, gliding a hand over your abdomen to feel your dress’ fabric.

“This is practically a night gown.” He remarks.

“That’s because it is.” You giggle. When your roommate had reminded you of the party, you were already dressed down to enjoy your Netflix marathon that would eventually bore you to sleep. You didn’t think you were out to impress anyone so you threw on a denim jacket over your pink satin nightie, slipped on your sneakers, applied some lip gloss, and deemed yourself ready. “Had I known I was seducing the university’s golden boy, I would have dressed more accordingly.”

“Oh no, this is fine, this is,” He starts to push your denim jacket off your shoulders and you sit up a bit to take it off, “Hot. God, none of my wet dreams about you can compare to this.”

“About me?” This knocks out the flirty tone of your voice and is replaced by genuine surprise.

“I’ve always liked you, [Y/N]. Since we were kids. I changed my name a few years back--I’m Yoonoh.”

"You were the fat back then!” You blurted out, recoiling a bit when Jaehyun’s expression falls flat. “Wait, no! Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way, but you were! Damn! Puberty has been kind to you.”

“I can say the same to you.” His hand travels up your chest, lightly brushing his palm over them. “I was always curious about your tattoos, you know.”

You hum, “I only have one. People keep adding non-existent tattoos on me.”

“What is it?”

“Why don’t you look for it?”

His eyes glint, accepting the challenge. He hooks his fingers to the flimsy straps of your dress and drag them down your arms, low enough until it exposes your boobs and he lets out a soft groan. He takes a breast into each hand, softly palming them.

“So the rumors about you getting your nipples pierce are fake?” He brings his mouth over one of them, lightly licking your nub while his fingers tweaked the other.

A gasp escapes you, “Oh, I got a piercing, and you can go find that one, too. It’s not that far from the tattoo.”

He peeks at you through his lashes, chuckling a bit. He pushes the skirt of your nightie up until he exposes your belly, expecting to see the piercing but is dumbfounded to see it absent. “What?”

You bite down a laugh when you see his eyes travel lower, finally spotting your tattoo just above the garter of your panties.

“Eat up.” You read the tattoo for him. You got it after losing to a dare with your roommate. She chose where and what to put, but at least you were able to decide the design; keeping it simple with a san-serif typeface.

It makes him smirk, the quirk of his lips bringing out his famed dimple onto his cheek. But then it dawns him: the piercing.

He looks at you in silent affirmation of his suspicion, but you only bite down on your lip and lift your hips up so he could get your panties off.

Once they slid off your legs and tossed aside, his eyes see it: the small pearl-like gray metal piercing on your clit.

“Shit, that’s so hot.” Jaehyun sighs, gently sweeping the pad of his thumb over it.

Your hips buck up involuntarily at the stimulation, “It feels good, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Not only for me,” You rest back on the pillow and spread your legs wider for him. “I heard it feels nice on tongues, too.”

He snickers, running his hands over your thighs. “Is that so?”

You nod, raising your hips up, not caring if you’re starting to look a little desperate. “Hmm, so why don’t you try, Jae?” You find yourself mischievously grinning, “Eat up.”

a/n: iM SORRY I HAD TO STOP ASLKDJALSKDJLASKJASKL MY WHOREMONES ARE GOING CRAZY

#nct scenarios #nct smut #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #spotify drabbles

328 notes · View notes

hatchibomitar · 6 years ago

Note

rose through ginger thanks

OMG thaNKS so much for all the asks!!! sorry this is physically 9 days late

rose - describe your crush.

wow okay well she’s the perfect height (a few inches shorter than me) and has the verry prettiest eyes!! and just like, stupid soft hands. i physically just don’t know how anyone could have hands that soft, she’s ridiculous and fake. it’s awesome. she’s so funny and so smart & my best friend

cherry-blossom - do you believe in love at first sight?

i believe ppl can have a connection at first encounter!! and i think u can be like “damn that’s one fine son of a gun” on first sight

daisy - what’s your best childhood memory?

playing yoshi’s island for gameboy advance w my friend zander...or alternatively when he bought me new super mario bros for ds for christmas and we played it for like, 7 hours. or,,!!!!!!! when we would play halo 3 and just fuck around for hours and hours. gosh!! lotta good video game memories, lotta good ones with that kid. my childhood best friend!

daffodil - which colour suits you best?

i think blue looks great on me! also white shirts lmao!!!

peony - do you put more value in honour or truth?

damn this question Deep.... ummm probably truth?

iris - favourite 90s song?

just absolutely LOVE that this question is called iris !!!!! bc now im tempted to pick that song. however, it’s thank you by dido

sunflower - sun or moon?

eek!!!! ummm... sun, bc daytime. but moon is pretty :/

narcissus - your best physical feature?

hmmmmm either my hair or eyes

i askd maya she said eyes too

freesia - are you still friends with the person you considered your best friend two years ago?

yes!!!!!!! @notsopro11

orchid - favourite fruit?

ah jeez i love nectarines and CHERRIES OH MY GOSH CHERRIES

violet - have you had your first kiss?

yes :^)))))) finally ya boy did it

gypsophila - do you prefer many distant friends, or a few close friends?

a few close friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gerbera - neon or pastel?

oh jeez.... depends on my moood....sometimes it’s like hmm im feeling Muted, im feeling Pastel, im feeling broody. sometimes it’s like, a bitch needs to be Seen

carnation - does true love exist?

absolutely!!! absolutely. doesn’t need to be romantic :-) but love is why we r here

alstroemeria - dream vacation?

i just rly wanna go to italy or some shit. but also. i wanna go on big roadtrip with maya and we Are Gionna This Summer, Am Excited

anemone - were you ever interested in greek mythology?

GOD dude fuck yea i sure was!!!!! i loved thatshit!!! percy jackson is my father

cymbidium - sexuality?

im bisexual!! but also, i just think everyone is very cute regardless of gender & like i’m just Whatever! abt labels sometimes

rhododendron - what’s your biggest fear?

thas a big question....my biggest fear is being vulnerable...but my biggest specific fear is getting my eye stabbed by the pointy end of an umbrella

tulip - lucky number?

28!!

gladiolus - who do you look up to most?

idk i mean is it a copout answer to say every trans person in history ?? we are so resilient

snapdragon - favourite mythical creature?

dragons are fuckin sick bro

hydrangea - proudest moment?

oh jeez, there are a lot actually :’) performing at the monologues in my town was amazing. every time i’ve publicly talked abt being trans too. every time im at qsa and someone comes to me with a question. oh jeez, we did a trans day of remembrance event in november and i was asked to speak at it (which was already such an honor!!) but a bunch of older trans folks inthe community came up to me after and told me i said some really touching words & that it was super necessary. and that was such a nice moment bc i look up to those people so much

heather - what’s your favourite musical?

MAMMA MIA

delphinium - what’s your star sign - does it suit you?

im a sag and ya i think so! my rising sign fits a lot (capricorn)

ginger - least favourite food?

hmmmmmMMMMMMMM i rly just cnanot think of anything.... mint chocolate chip ice cream?

#anon #askies #the life and lies of kaiden #Anonymous

1 note · View note

beebosbitchh · 7 years ago

Note

1-65 ;)

holy heck ! thank you sophiw i lov u 🍒

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

i dont understand this question?? like sometimes i doubt my own existence and other times i doubt that i exist to certain ppl? ya?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2,, normal amount? like good for sleep but pitch black is scaryy but not to the point i need the escape ?? if that makes sense??

3. The person you would never want to meet?

guy fieri, i dont think i need to know if hes actually real ? like is he real and from this dimension or from flavortown (which he has a very scarily detailed description of)?? thats not something i need to know

4. What is your favorite word?

hmm, probably ‘fam’ obviously

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

a willow tree !!!!!!!!!! i just talked to my mom about this :-0

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

ngl but i dont look in the mirror anymore unless its lip syncing along to a song sung by a guy/someone w a deeper voice bc i feel like it suits me better! gotta love coping w dysphoria!

7. What shirt are you wearing?

baseball tee, gay

8. What do you label yourself as?

nb, lesbian, fool

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

slepe

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

10-11 when i was in 5th grade. i still only had two friends but i was way more extroverted and everything was so carefree and i was very invested in adventure time and art. i think that was the most of a childhood i got? i honestly did not do much as a kid and i wish i had..

12. Who told you they loved you last?

sophiw ! tumblr user almightyportraits ! the loml !

13. Your worst enemy?

14. What is your current desktop picture?

one from apple called ‘abstract shapes’ its very orange but also blue which is my fave color pairing atm so its perfect

15. Do you like someone?

tumblr user vahilla

16. The last song you listened to?

megan played ‘marceline’ by willow in her car ! a song i suggested to her a few months ago and it makes me very happy that she likes it especially bc we bonded over adventure time in 6th grade :-)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

mmyy seelfff ??

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

mmmyseyyffelllff ??

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

eh whats the point

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

n o ne ?

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

what is the opposite of nb,, i feel like if i was opposite of how i present id be a girl, which is a verryyy weird thought for me, pass

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

no :-/

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

uh first of all blood, like, ill pass out,, second of all,, literally everything worries me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

jimmy johns #16, turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato, NO MAYO

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

im a very practical person so the least boring answer i can come up w is more art supplies

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

denmark

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

fukcing , acetoNe

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i think a FIRST rule would have to be pretty IMPORTANT so probably smt like how ~WE THE PEOPLE~ are all EQUAL would be a pretty good start and pretty UNDENIABLE and STRAIGHT FORWARD especially if it was the FIRST thing in this,, hmm lets call it the CONSTITUTION, in the completely hypothetical society

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuk cufck ufc kfuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

sunglasses??!!! that shit gotta be bright huh>?? gotta protect my retinas

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wanna say my first relationship made me a better person but that shit was rreeeaaallyyyy fucking awful and 4 months (+recovery months) that i will never get back and i think ? maybe ?? i wouldve been ok without it ? idk just a thought

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

spain ?!?!? why not + i sorta know the language? thatd b cool

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

zoey my dog :-( i miss her a lot, this month it will have been two years oh my god i miss her so much

34. What was your last dream about?

the last one i remember was a nightmare about someone tryna murder me i was very scared

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

i think so , when i was two i got really really sick and couldve died ?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

ahh yes ! we gave hhimm,, fruit snack nipples, please forgive me fathr

38. What is the color of your socks?

grey w blue n orange stripes ( again i lov blue n orange together, my shirt is teal and i have an orange hat on wow)

39. What type of music do you like?

all! i had to train this new guy at work and im sooo awkward but once why started talking about music it was easy for me to talk bc it was smt we both really like !!! i felt like i could actually communicate w feeling a disconnect it was nice ! we talked mostly about rap which was cool and unexpected but i could do it ? i really love music and i love being able to know enough to talk about it ,, isk

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises, ive been pushing myself to wake up unreasonably early to have more time to myself and i get to watch the sunrise most days which is nice

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

whom?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

college? god i dont even know… smt w art.. by an illustrator or art teacher or freelance artist or graphic designer ,, i really dont know

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

one thing ?!!?!? i wish i was neurotypical

46. Are you reliable?

yes? i try hard to be? i hope so ?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

u still a lil bitch ?

48. Do you hold grudges?

nope i try not to, ive had too many toxic petty people in my life that i dont need to be one myself.. now this is grudges w/o reason, but if ive given people several ‘second chances’ and theyre still (thumbs down) then ill avoid them but w/i reason?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

DOG HORSES BIG DOGs

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

mm probably smt w my lab partner from last year. she always sends me weird quotes from a fanfiction shes reading and its weird but i really appreciate that she still talks to me or talks to me at all tbh

51. Are you a good liar?

nooo ?? i try not to lie? mb not tell the full truth but idk , i feel like id feel too guilty

52. How long could you go without talking?

uhh literally days like i already fucking do.. i m taking this as verbally but i dont get texts so like, it would not be hard

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

before i went to short hair i used to alllwaayyys wear a tight ponytail every single day bc i wasnt girly enough to do anything w it and it was really really gross like thank god i cut it all off

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

heck yeah

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

*clears throat*

hewwo?

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter and jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

58. What would be you dream car?

razor scooter

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

sometimes im just too physically or emotionally exhausted to stand so ill just,, lay down? ive fallen asleep in the shower before ha

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yup

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

whenever it comes up but i dont ,, seek it out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons tf

64. What do you think about babies?

evil, ugly, dont see the appeal. open ur eyes ppl !!!! bbs are n Ot cute !!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

#long post /#mention of dysphoria /#ask #thenk yoy sophiw #this took 4ever but worth it bc it got me to calm down?? coolc ool cool

4 notes · View notes

just-jordie-things · 8 years ago

Text

300 FOLLOWERS!? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GUYS SO I WENT THRU AND ANSWERED THE ASKS

1. what’s your favorite food?

i think sushi. smoked eel nigiri roll, and trust me, it’s amazing

2. do you have any ‘special’ talents?

maybe writing idk i’m an average writer

3. what’s your zodiac sign?

leo

4. have any siblings? older or younger? brother or sister? do you get along?

younger brother, and we’re like best friends. we get into a lot of trouble together

5. what was your first ship?

the first one i was head over heels for would be scallison. still am.

6. how old are you?

16 in july

7. if you had to get married right now, who would you choose and why?

ummm dyaln o’brien? sorry that was an unrealistic question i’m probably always gonna answer with him. a l w a y s

8. any interesting life mini stories?

ok so last summer, i was hanging out with my bff @taegdcl1018, and she lives by the playground so we went to hang out there. it was real chill, swinging and listening to music and stuff. and when i got up and started walking, there was A BEE ON MY SHIRT. so i screamed, and started wigging out, and of course brooklyn is like ‘girl chill’ (and tbh bees don’t scare me that much) anyways, this bee is still on my shirt, and im running around, and it’s still stuck on it. and THAT my sweeties, is how i took my shirt off in a public playground. NO WORRIES THO! there was no one around besides me and my bff, and she gave me her over shirt thingy before we left. (also, it’s still difficult for me to wear that shirt. it’s like i have PTSD)

9. who are your favorite artists/musicians right now?

melanie martinez, twenty one pilots, lana del rey, halsey, marilyn manson, blue october, blackbear, arctic monkeys, and kaleo

10. Want kids? Why?

i like the idea, but i think i’d say no. i’m just not that responsible, not enough to care for a little person who would need me

11. hobbies?

writing, reading, playing piano, drawing, collaging (if that’s how you’d put it?) and editing

12. any pets?

oui, a chihuahua named delilah that my friends and i call taco

13. favorite ship(s)?

STYDIA MALEC MALIRA SCALIA AND MANIGGY

14. best cartoon?

Bob’s Burgers. I love it.

15. best friends?

@taegdcl1018 and @peter-andhislostgirls. they’re my besties. we’re mermaids.

16. what color are your eyes?

morning sky blue lmao

17. what is your relationship status?

utterly single but flirting

18. favorite pair of shoes?

PURPLE CONVERSE I PAINTED WHITE AND USED SHARPIE TO WRITE STUFF ON

19. favorite snapchat filter?

the bunny with the snow lol

20. favorite book?

The Replacement, by Brenna Yovanoff

21. opinion on drugs/alcohol?

gross. i don’t like to judge, but I don’t like people throwing their lives away.

22. dream vacation?

Los Angeles. everywhere there, just walking in the streets and listening to music

23. how many pictures are on your phone?

2,030

24. best ice cream flavor?

chocolate chip cookie dough with hot fudge

25. where do you go to shop?

hot topic and forever 21 are my favorite

26. favorite class?

enriched english. from the literature we get to read and the comedic of a teacher, it’s just great.

27. most embarrassing memory?

um, did you not read the story about the bee on my shirt?

28. what’s one of your favorite memories?

spending one of my bffs birthday watching horror movies in our underwear and hello kitty blankets. there was also home made cake and doggos involved

29. what are your five most frequently played songs?

1. Where’s My Love - Syml 2. Drive - Halsey 3. Killing Strangers - Marilyn Manson 4. Hard For - Kevin Gates 5. Crazy In Love - Beyonce (um the 50 Shades of Grey remix…)

30. play any instruments?

piano and i used to know guitar and ukulele but it’s been a while

31. best breakfast meal?

chocolate chip pancakes with a shit ton of butter

32. who was the last person you called?

@taegdcl1018 for 2 hours and 17 minutes last night. we discussed doing a collab ;)

33. fries or onion rings?

fries

34. daytime or night time?

night time. it’s much more peaceful and overall more beautiful

35. how many languages do you know?

english and I’d like to say french, but i’m not fluent so i don’t think it counts

36. if you could only date one character from Teen Wolf, who would you date? why?

Malia Tate. I feel like we could really teach each other things and she’d be overprotective and cute and yeee

37. best friend IRL and best friend via social media?

BEST FRIENDS IRL @taegdcl1018 and @peter-andhislostgirls and my best friends via social media are @failingmemequeen and Sarah (who doesn’t have a tumblr)

38. favorite picture?

there’s one my friend took in the lunch room last year, a selfie of her and my other bffs

39. fanfiction or fanart?

fanfiction

40. when did you first start writing fanfics?

two years ago, my first teen wolf was a scallison one that i wrote before i even watched the show

41. favorite type of noodle?

the mac and cheese that looks like shells

42. favorite summer activity?

writing outside lol

43. if you could take a pic with one character at Disney, who would you choose?

alice from alice in wonderland. i just love her.

44. best season of Teen Wolf?

i’m stuck between 3b and 6a

45. ok do you watch ANYTHING other than Teen Wolf?

I do! The Walking Dead, Riverdale, The Fosters, American Horror Story, Shameless, Orange is the New Black, Shadowhunters, Friends, and Pretty Little Liars

46. apple or samsung?

apple. duh.

47. an annoying experience that you would like to vent about?

one time this girl told me if a man punches a woman, she should be grateful. she claimed it was because of gender equality, which i am ALL for, but i thought it was disgusting, because if ANYONE punches you, no matter the gender, honestly i think you should just go ahead and punch them back

48. favorite pop tart flavor?

hot fudge sundae

49. McDonald’s, Burger King, or Wendy’s?

BK I can’t say no to a hershey pie

50. would you rather fly or be invisible?

hahahaa be invisible then my embarrassing moments wouldn’t be noticed

51. favorite board game?

candyland or monopoly

52. circus or magic show?

magic show bc my brother loves magic tricks and i always get to see him try them and it’s just funny

53. waterpark or amusement park?

amusement park, i love rollercoasters and thrills!

54. any sentimentally valuable possessions?

my grandmothers first engagement ring, she gave it to me

55. what’s your favorite mode of travel?

car trips

56. what piece do you choose to be in Monopoly?

the top hat. i love hats.

57. when was the last time you cried? why?

yesterday because i read SUCH a good stiles angst i teared up

58. favorite Marvel character?

ooh….um…. if i HAD to choose, i think i’d have to choosequicksilver from the X-Men franchise. woot woot evan peters!

59. any nicknames?

yea: potato, captain crunch, and scoot.

60. what will be/is your senior quote?

“if someone from the future doesn’t come to stop you from doing something, then how bad can it be?

61. play any sports?

HELL NAH

62. if you were stranded on an island and had to bring 3 other people, who would they be and why?

my besties brookie and tay, and dylan o’brien cuz i’m gonna need entertainment somehow

63. lucky numbers?

8, 88, 666, and 18

64. label yourself (ethnicity, gender, sexuality etc)

i’m a white, bisexual, atheist woman

65. dogs or cats?

i love both so much but kittens man…

66. scooters or skateboards?

scooters.

67. favorite DC character?

harley quinn by far

68. bugs bunny or daffy duck?

daffy duck

69. are you sexually expierienced? (lol iyt #69 so i had to)

does reading smut count?

70. did you have a valentine this year?

I DID!

71. vlogging or blogging?

so i do have a tumblr and technically it’s called a blog but i mean it’s not really a blog. and sometimes my friend and i pretend to be vloggers so i guess vlogging

72. pandas or polar bears?

panda bears

73. favorite hello kitty character?

tuxedo sam

74. if you were going to travel to another country, where would you go?

Savoy France, to see a girl that I’ve become friends with and have wanted to see for a while

75. most used emoji?

the squid. it just looks so happy and joyful. i use it to tell people i love them

76. why did you start writing?

fanfiction? bc i was disappointed in jeff davis for killing off an angel who didn’t deserve it.

77. favorite fanfic?

I CAN’T CHOOSE!!! everything @writing-obrien has ever done

78. what’s your favorite show to binge?

teen wolf and riverdale

79. dresses or skirts?

i like both but i’m always in jeans. but probably skirts

80. favorite app?

tumblr duh

81. favorite word?

mechanical

82. what’s your favorite thing to write about?

stiles imagines and things about trees

83. who is your inspiration? for anything really

writing-obrien aforementioned for writing. and twenty one pilots for music

84. would you rather go to neverland or wonderland?

wonderland! I want an unbirthday tea party!

85. favorite actor?

dylan o’brien

86. favorite actress?

crystal reed

87. favorite youtuber?

brandon rogers. 11/10 RECOMMEND WATCHING

88. if you could live in any fantasy land where would you pick and why?

still wonderland, because i feel like it’d just be so much fun lol

89. sleeping or eating?

ooh that’s a toughie. probably eating. I’m a high class food slut

90. favorite letter of the alphabet?

91. fruits or veggies?

fruits

92. modern or ancient?

both?

93. smut, fluff, or angst?

fluff is my #1 but i like it all

94. if you were to go into a battle, what would be your weapon of choice?

probably a unicorn horn.

95. unicorns or pegasuses?

more unicorns!

97. thoughts on swearing?

swearing is so fucking dumb. like why fucking do that you fucking fuck? lmao swearings ok in the appropriate places. not in a kindergarden classroom, but who cares if you’re at a bar?

98. reading or writing?

UGH WHY MAKE ME CHOOSE! I’M SKIPPING THIS ONE

99. big cities or small town country sides

big cities

100. east coast or west coast?

livin on the east coast but dreamin of the west

101. what do you love about your favorite character?

i love the way she really delves into her emotions, even though everyone thinks she doesn’t really have any, you can really tell what she’s feeling through her eyes, and that’s hard to do when it’s on a screen and not written in a fanfiction

thank you guys so sooo much for 300 follows! it made me tear up this morning, and means a lot to me that people actually like and enjoy my writings and i really hope that the only way i can go, is up, and i just really hope that i still have the love and support you guys give to me :) big hearts and big hugs for every one of you

8 notes · View notes

wineanddinosaur · 3 years ago

Text

We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Best Trends in Wine Right Now?

It’s somewhat mind-bending to think that a beverage that has been around for centuries is capable of being trendy. However it leads us to question, what is it about our current state of the industry that’s pushing winemakers to go beyond the norm?

Beyond the desire to improve the quality and ethics of both farming and winemaking, consumer-driven trends have edged (or in some cases bulldozed) their way into the market. Over the past decade, trendy wines like Apothic — with high alcohol and high residual sugar — have been purchased by the caseload. We’ve all had our curiosities about orange and even blue wine. And more recently, wine in a can seems to be a sustainable and effective solution to many producers’ packaging woes.

Trends come and go, but movements shape our future. With input from wine professionals across the world, our list of the best wine trends right now showcases a handful of both.

The Best Trends in Wine Right Now, According to Wine Pros:

Alternative packaging

Winemaking using native fruits and plants

Earth-friendly wines

Indigenous grape varieties

White Bordeaux

Alcohol-free wine

Sustainable winemaking

Mindful farming

Virtual wine education

Drinking Champagne with everything

Celebrating women winemakers

Keep reading for details about all the best trends in wine right now!

“One of my favorite trends in wine right now is alternative packaging, both in format and tone. From environmentally friendly bag-in-a-box, to conveniently canned Lambrusco, we’re stripping away the fancy veneer of wine. Where labels once endeavored to portray some idyllic chateau, we now see the use of irony, humor, and esoteric art to convey a sense of attitude, confidence, and authenticity. Wine as punk rock, everyday grocery. Do I still sound like I’m in my 20s?” — Matthew Landry, sommelier, educator, judge, importer, Tannin Management Ltd/The Living Vine BC, Vancouver, Canada

“Wine beyond the grape: co-ferments, multi-fruit wines, herbal infusions, perennial beverages. We have a dated devotion to the hero-worship of wine variety and have built monoculture empires around one species of fruit. We have to imagine for a second that if we brought polyculture to the glass and this was the norm, how a young aspiring winemaker might approach raw land — truly asking the right questions about what native flora might want to be there (or be left there). How they might restore woodland habitats of land in disrepair instead of clearing forests for a grape plantation. Imagine how the foraging movement could be bolstered, how produce farmers might be supplemented through potential collaboration. Imagine what wild concoctions might arise from above and below 30 and 50 degrees latitude. Haitian wine? I’m in.” — Brian McClintock, owner, Viticole Wines, White Salmon, Wash.

“The wine trend I’m enjoying seeing grow is ‘earth-friendly’ wines. Seeing more sustainable, organic, and biodynamic producers on our store shelves and in our restaurants — that includes natural wine, although trickier to spot since there is no certification for them yet — as well as the rise in popularity of canned wines. Wines that come in convenient cans like Coke certainly have no business aging in your wine cellar, but they have a much smaller carbon footprint than the average cheap and cheerful bottle of wine. Hey, if I am on an outdoor adventure enjoying this glorious world, then a can of wine is a great companion. Like many modern consumers out there, I try to be as environmentally conscientious as possible to help keep the ‘green guilt’ at bay, and it is wonderful to see the wine world providing ‘earth-friendly’ options.” — Lesley Quinn, Owner and Operator of Stellar Somm Wine Experts, Prince Edward Island, Canada

“Right now, the biggest trend I see (at least in Spain) is a renewed focus on indigenous grape varieties.“ — Rick Fisher, Spanish wine scholar, education director, Wine Scholar Guild, San Diego

“I’m loving the rediscovery of white Bordeaux. The intertwining of namely Sauvignon Blanc, Semillon, and Muscadelle (plus the other white varieties) has created so many mouthwatering expressions. For those who love Burgundy, the rich and creamy aged whites from Pessac-Léognan only continue to impress — so much texture and mouthfeel — and they truly do stand the test of time. If New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio are your things, then you could dip your toe into Entre-Deux-Mers, which has some incredibly crisp, fruit-forward styles to explore. Honestly, every week I find myself discovering a new favorite.” — Aidy Smith, co-founder, director and presenter, The Three Drinkers, London

“I love seeing more and more alcohol-free, quality wines from well-renowned wineries and winemakers on the market. It’s the industry’s answer to continuing to provide elevated dining experiences while keeping our guests and bosses happy in an increasingly health-conscious atmosphere. I can still go to the table with a beautiful bottle and story in hand, and the wine still has the peaks, valleys, tang, and depth that make it the perfect companion to food — just without the hangover, guilt, or sacrifice.” — Candace Olsen, sommelier, educator, consultant, VintageRed, NYC

“Sustainability would be one of the best trends I’ve seen in wine. It has gone from being a niche and small movement to a global phenomenon — with some countries even aiming for 100 percent sustainability, like New Zealand. While sustainability has a broad definition, from environmental to social, the important facet is that wineries are moving from regular chemical inputs to more organic and holistic ways of working in the vineyard. [I believe this] produces better grapes and, in turn, better wines — and even more importantly, an improved future for our planet and industry.” — Nupur Gogia, MW Student, founder of Vinequity, and wine agent TWC Imports, Toronto

“My favorite trend in the wine world of late is the genuine interest in mindful farming. Up and down the supply chain — from the vineyard to the end consumer — there has been an evolution in focus. When I first started in this business, few people had heard of biodynamics. These days, I have servers and bartenders fluent in the differences between sustainable, organic, and biodynamic farming. We have guests asking about regenerative agriculture and reps volunteering facts about irrigation, tilling, and so forth. Here’s hoping this isn’t a fleeting trend, but a sign of where the industry is headed.” — Eduardo Porto Carreiro, Beverage Director, Rocket Farm Restaurants, Atlanta

“Since the start of the pandemic, I have been performing Instagram virtual wine tastings and doing live interviews with diverse winemakers, producers, and wine professionals. I truly believe wine helps to express diversity and that it’s meant to be shared with everyone. We all grow along with it. In my humble opinion, the message of wine has improved tremendously in the past year. To know that via social media I am reaching out to lots of different people across the globe about a cool Syrah made in Morocco, or a refreshing Portuguese sparkling red, speaks volumes to me.” — Bruno Almeida, sommelier and wine educator, NYC

“I think one of my favorite wine trends now is one of the oldest: Drink Champagne with everything! Champagne is the universal wine, with the ability to pair with everything from potato chips to oysters to ribeyes. I’m convinced the U.K., the Canadian Maritimes, and other similar climatic regions will soon produce some of the best sparkling wines in the world. When I opened Bar Von Der Fels, a third of the list was sparkling wine. I remember getting excited about Arianna Occhipinti’s wines a decade ago; they were fun and different. Fast forward seven to eight years, and we are finally getting excited about women winemakers and minorities in the winemaking world. I love what I’m seeing (and drinking!), and I hope we see a lot more Ariannas around the globe who are making exciting new wines and leading the way for other young women in the wine scene.” — Will Trow, Owner, Bar Von der Fels, Calgary, Canada

The article We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Best Trends in Wine Right Now? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/wa-wine-pros-best-trends/

0 notes

johnboothus · 3 years ago

Text

We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Best Trends in Wine Right Now?

Trends come and go, but movements shape our future. With input from wine professionals across the world, our list of the best wine trends right now showcases a handful of both.

The Best Trends in Wine Right Now, According to Wine Pros:

Alternative packaging

Winemaking using native fruits and plants

Earth-friendly wines

Indigenous grape varieties

White Bordeaux

Alcohol-free wine

Sustainable winemaking

Mindful farming

Virtual wine education

Drinking Champagne with everything

Celebrating women winemakers

Keep reading for details about all the best trends in wine right now!

“Right now, the biggest trend I see (at least in Spain) is a renewed focus on indigenous grape varieties.“ — Rick Fisher, Spanish wine scholar, education director, Wine Scholar Guild, San Diego

The article We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Best Trends in Wine Right Now? appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/wa-wine-pros-best-trends/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/we-asked-wine-pros-what-are-the-best-trends-in-wine-right-now

0 notes

moatmagic4-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Tasting the 2018 Goose Island Bourbon County Stout Variants

No matter what you think of Goose Island these days, if you like beer, you’re curious about the 2018 Bourbon County variants.

“Let’s do ’em all.”

Those were the words of Goose Island brewermaster Jared Jankowski, standing in front of a room of beer media, influencers, writers, other brewers and various beer types last week explaining the thought process behind this year’s parade of Bourbon County Stout options.

This year sees the release of eight different Bourbon County stout and barleywine beers, topping last year’s number which makes this the busiest year for BCS collectors ever. It’s also perhaps the most interesting year in terms of questions we have to ask about the lineup: Why coffee barleywine and not coffee stout? Why wheatwine and no regular barleywine? Why is the most interesting beer, Midnight Orange, its own release when this year’s Proprietors is just a metric shitload of chocolate jammed into a barrel?

I don’t have those specific answers here, nor, really do I need them. I assume the answers are a mix of “there’s only so many hours of the day” plus a bit of “we just felt like it.” Which is fine. Goose is gonna do what Goose is gonna do and they’ll sell a ton of beer doing so. So basically, here’s what happened when I tried a bunch of barrel-aged stout and took some notes (all while Goose Island president Todd Ahsmann sat directly to my right and yes, I did catch him peeking at my notes at least once).

This year’s beers come to us after a nap in 4-year Heaven Hill and Buffalo Trace barrels, with the exception of Reserve which hung out in barrels which held an award-winning version of Elijah Craig. There are, as every year, winners and losers, though this year doesn’t quite hit the heights of last year, nor the lows of the restrained post-infection outing.

I’ll give you my ranking of all this year’s BCS variants in a bit — but to tell you about them, I’m going to take you through them the same way Goose took us through them, starting with perhaps the most delicate and pure distillation of barrel character ever in a Bourbon County beer, which would be …

Bourbon County Wheatwine:

The first outing for the first new style in the Bourbon County line in years is a winner. And this is from a guy who generally doesn’t even like barleywines … so what made Wheatwine so much fun to sip?

For a beer that’s about 15% ABV, they managed to make a light, clean, sharp, nuanced brew that’s rich with clean caramel and butterscotch flavor but moreover just a symphony of spirit and barrel. Clear notes of vanilla, whiskey and oak in waves on top of a wash of clean wheaty goodness. I genuinely enjoyed this beer at least 5x more than I thought I would. It’s lighter in color, lighter in body but still rich with surprising flavor and just a fun new entry into the world of barrel aging.

(Wheatwine was also the first variant label to emerge from the TTB earlier this year … followed by a parade of labels both real and fake. When I asked about those fake labels after the night’s tasting, a rep told me that all the labels they submitted “were at least considered for production” … but was unable to look me in the eye when making that statement.)

Bourbon County Stout Original:

It’s not so much that the OG is back, per se, as it is that this year’s is a bit of a return to standard status from last year’s relatively wobbly base barrel-aged beer. I still think that the 2016 Original remains my favorite of recent years, that being the flag that Goose had to plant in the year they returned from their BCS infection woes. Then 2017’s was … iffy, and now in 2018 the beer is back to its rich, hearty, balanced, fudgy, chocolatey self that we know and love.

Sometimes you get a little smoke or tobacco from a BCS Original, this year gives you a good dose of lightly roasty stout + spicy bourbon with a touch of raisin as it warms and you should be pretty happy with hit. It’s a down-the-middle barrel aged stout, which shouldn’t be considered an insult since they popularized the style with just such a thing.

I am still seeing plenty of 2017 BCS on store shelves (including run of the mill convenience stores around the North Side of Chicago, should you ever wonder how accessible this beer is year-round in the city) but I would think that ’18 will move quicker.

Bourbon County Reserve:

Here’s what we said about last year’s BCS Knob Creek Reserve: “Big. Bold. Rough. Unrefined….This is old-school stout character where it couldn’t be roasty enough, couldn’t be boozy enough.” This year’s Reserve is not nearly quite so aggressive and suffers accordingly. The more restrained, balanced character of this beer will probably work for most drinkers, but if I’m comparing Reserves (which I kinda have to) I want this beer to be a graduate-level discourse in bourbon-topped insanity paired with an ass-kickingly rough stout.

This year we got a beer that spent a decent stretch of time on 10-11 year Elijah Craig barrels — which was named Whiskey of the Year last year. Did that make the beer better? The brewers spent a lot of time telling us about how great the barrels were, and how great the juice inside them was … and then served up a beer that was smooth, sticky with toffee flavor and an almost berry-like sweetness … that just made me wish for a pour of last year’s. Sorry, guys.

Distro is expected to stick mostly to Chicago and Kentucky, like last year, though some will also likely hit New York as well as perhaps the Philadelphia brewpub location as well.

Bourbon County Midnight Orange:

Now we get into the fun stuff.

Midnight Orange absolutely delivers on the expectations it promises — it is a beer that tastes like chocolate and orange. Actually, let me rephrase — it is a beer that tastes like orange, with chocolate. For the second year in a row, Goose Island has taken on a dangerous fruit-based flavor and made it work. Last year’s banana-y Proprietors remains a truly pleasurable surprise of a beer, while Midnight Orange is pleasing…but not an all star.

If you think it sounds like the Xmas treat you’ve had for years, you’re right — that’s exactly the inspiration that was described to us. The orange flavor walks right up to the level of “industrial cleanser citrus” acidity and just brushes on overwhelming — but doesn’t quite cross over into a flavor that’s irritating, offensive or otherwise bothersome. Even a touch more would have pushed it there, and the underlying chocolate notes could have stood out louder behind the trumpet-blast of Natalina Orange peel and pith.

Brewer Mike Siegel noted that this was not the first year that the orange+chocolate combination was submitted by a Goose employee as a potential variant so props to Quality Lab employee Paul Leavens and brewer Oscar [no last name given per the brewery’s press release] for getting it past the gates this year.

Is orange+chocolate primed for a trend? At this year’s GABF, New Holland was promoting a version of their Dragons Milk that was also infused with orange and chocolate — which I tried knowing full well I’d have the BCS shortly thereafter and it compared very favorably — so all we need is about one more of these and we’ve got a movement.

Bourbon County Coffee Barleywine

WTF, Goose? No traditional barleywine, no beloved coffee stout … but we get a coffee barleywine? This is this year’s Northwoods — you’re going to like it or not; I don’t see anyone truly loving this one. Divisive, interesting, and probably better on paper, coffee barleywine is a huge blast of rough coffee grounds and beans on the nose, green and raw, like tearing off the top of a bucket of Maxwell House and jamming your head right in.

That green, fruity character of the coffee extends on into the flavor itself, in an equally jarring, aggressive manner. Stout and coffee play great for a lot of reasons, pairing roast with roast and contrasting smooth chocolate with zippy espresso — whereas coffee and barleywine just get into the barrel together and beat the shit out of each other until the ref calls a draw and the judges award the match to coffee but only barely.

Jankowski called this “the most scrutinized of the variants” due to the hour-by-hour checking of the brew as it got infused with coffee through a sort of “dry beaning” technique. They put the raw beans on a flow of beer to pull the flavor straight from the bean vs dilute the beer with a cold-brew coffee extract. That gives you the strongest coffee beer I’ve had in quite some time in terms of ABV, but also pure Guatemalan accelerant.

Note the shredded cacao nibs, berry gelato, orange peel and coffee beans around the beers — Goose provided small samples of the infusion ingredients. Guess what? Raw cacao doesn’t taste great.

Bourbon County Proprietor’s

It’s a barrel-aged stout with a shitload of chocolate in it. It was … yeah, it was chocolatey.

Bourbon County Vanilla

Hot damn, does Vanilla deliver on aroma alone. Intoxicating to the point of cloying, it’s almost cake-frosting rich in smell and flavor with shredded Madagascar bean in such quantities that Siegel reported that people actually got skin rashes from working with that much ingredient.

If you can get past the vanilla bean bomb lingering in your olfactory receptors and put some of this down, you’ll find a beer that stands up to the vanilla richness to deliver some chocolate, some light roast and a touch of bourbon, all smoothed out by a waterfall of what I imagine would be a tan-and-pearl-white wave of buttercream frosting. You want pastry stout? This is the icing on the cake stout.

Finally, I’ll say this for Vanilla: There were a few empty seats around the room for the tasting, all of which had full pours of each variant sitting there all night. Vanilla was the only variant I saw a staff member sneakily grab away for themselves.

Bourbon County Bramble Rye

Not a lot of subtlety here either — this is BCS blended with berry juice, no more, no less. You like raspberry and blackberry in your stouts? Then you’ll like this one. It’s the thinnest and the lightest beer of the year thanks to the juice dilution, which makes it an easier sipper, but I imagine this is a 500ml bottle best split a couple ways because the acidity builds up on you and the base beer is pretty much washed out.

Fruited stouts are always a bit hit or miss — see Midnight Orange and last year’s bananas-foster Proprietors in the “hit” category, whereas last year’s blueberry-almond Northwoods was a big miss. This year’s berry outing isn’t quite as much of a dud as that one, but it’s on the miss side for me anyways.

The Obligatory 2018 BCS Rankings:

If I had to come back to one beer from this year’s batch, one beer that had me asking questions and wanting more and curious to see what’s going to happen with it: It’d be Wheatwine.

I know. I am pretty damn surprised by that too. Everything else fell to about the middle of the pack to me, but here’s where I think things land.

Wheatwine

Midnight Orange

Vanilla

Original

Proprietors

Reserve

Bramble Rye

Coffee Barleywine

I could honestly re-sort those last three if I came back in an hour and thought about it again — it’s that close. Reserve just doesn’t have enough going on with the spirit focus for me this year, Bramble Rye just isn’t my fruity speed and Coffee Barleywine is just nothing but internal conflict. I appreciate the experimentation of it, but I won’t be coming back to it.

One final thing: If Goose Island offers to make you a stout float with gelato, chocolate whipped cream and original BCS…you say yes. Because wow, was this good:

There you have it – another year of Bourbon County stouts are coming our way in a few weeks. Details on this year’s Proprietors Day have been released and can be found here. For $30, you get the opportunity to purchase two bottles of Prop and one bottle of Vanilla; you also get the obligatory tote bag and plastic snifter glass along with sample pours of this year’s BCS.

As always, thanks to Goose Island for throwing open their doors (of the Clybourn space this year) and letting us take a pass at these beers — they remain the most scrutinized beers of the year and I appreciate their annual willingness to let a bunch of us critics and skeptics come through and give things a go.