#Not a film for everyone but ugh if you let it in is sooo magical

[theirloveisgross]

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[wonwoosthetic]

Bloopers And Interviews || Sebastian Stan

MASTERLIST is in my blog description, can’t add the link here at the moment, sorry!!

Soooo, this is an image that got requested QUITE A WHILE AGO, but because she’s an absolute angel and a true babe, she was patient enough ;) <3 thx @imnothumanapparently

This is a bit different than my other imagines: a lot more just small snippets from their life together when they’re not in character (can I say that like that?)

Request by @imnothumanapparently: The reader is an actress and plays a character in the MCU and is dating Sebastian Stan. Maybe just some cute bloopers and interview moments, thanks! :)

Characters: Sebastian Stan x Reader, some of the Marvel Cast

Warnings: none

Potential Second Part?

Bloopers And Interviews

The scene was as followed: the Winter Soldier, played by your wonderful boyfriend Sebastian, had to hit your character right in the face and then repeatedly in the stomach. Easy for you, very hard for Seb. Even though you were in character, he was not able to 'fake hit' you. You were filming the same snippet for about forty-five minutes now, Sebastian always backing away as soon as it came to the fight scene. "CUT!", Joe Russo shouted from his place behind the camera. "I'm sorry guys, I really am...", your boyfriend tried to excuse himself. You reached out to grab his hand, "Please, just do it. I'll back away and you won't even touch me", "But what if I accidentally do it too fast, or too hard, or-" "Don't even go there, that won't happen", you shut him up and put your hand in front of his face. "Sebastian do you want to do the scene with Eva?", Anthony asked your co-star. Eva has been your stunt double ever since you had started acting in the MCU - she was the pro you thrived to be. Sebastian turned his head towards you and gave you an apologetic look before whispering, "Sorry, babe", he knew how badly you had wanted to do this scene with him - you had worked so hard and now you won't even be able to do this fight sequence. "Yes please, Anthony!" He shouted across to room, "Bring in Eva!" was the directors' response. While everyone behind the camera was happy to finally get on with the shooting, you were furious and didn't even dare to look into Seb's eyes, but just rushed off the set with heavy footsteps.

Since pretty much everyone knew what was going on between Sebastian and you, you had gotten a trailer to share - great, you didn't have anywhere to go and avoid your boyfriend. So, there you were... waiting... for... you didn't know what for. Thankfully, you were able to kill some time by getting asked to come into the costume trailer to take off your character's outfit. Yet, half an hour after getting back and calming down, sort of, the door to your shared mobile home opened - you knew who it was, therefore you didn't even look up from your book. Sebastian found you on the little couch,  let out a small sigh, "(Y/N)." You didn't answer. "(Y/N)", his voice got just a tad louder, trying to get your attention. Still no answer from you. You heard him sigh again as he put his right hand on his forehead, "Babe, can we please talk about this." You decided to give in, not wanting to hear his sighs anymore, "What is there to talk about? You didn't think I was strong enough and that's it", not looking up from your book. His hand was now on his hip, "I never said that. I never said that you weren't strong enough-", you shot up from your seat and threw the book on the sofa, "Then what?! You didn't want to hurt me?! Yeah, great excuse!" "That's the truth! You- ugh...", his head dropped, the floor was suddenly way more interesting than your face. "It's-It's... It's not easy for me okay? I know it's only show and I know that you can do it, but IF something should happen to you- if I was the reason for something happening to you- IF I was the one to accidentally hit you... I just... I- I love you way too much to risk that." During his last sentence, Sebastian was looking directly into your eyes seeing the tears form in yours. "I'm sorry", you whispered, "I'm sorry, gosh", you put your face in your hands, trying to hide the fact that you had never been more embarrassed. You felt his footsteps as he approached you, "Don't say that", your boyfriend's arms snaked around your neck, "I love you", he whispered, just for you to hear even though no one else was in the room. You nuzzled your face into his neck and hugged him, "I love you too."

Without even realizing, it was the first time the both of you had said those three magical words.

------------------------------------------

"And how has your relationship affected working together? I mean, it must pretty nice seeing each other literally all the time, but let's be honest, I mean", Alan asked the two of you who were sitting on the gold couch, "it must get quite annoying SOME TIME." The audience erupted in laughter as well as you and your boyfriend.

You had gotten invited to be on the British talk show Chatty Man to talk about your newest Marvel movie, and right now, you were having the time of your life. Sebastian decided to go first, "No, I wouldn't say annoying. I mean, we were able to walk around set alone and we also didn't see each other all the time because every now and then we'd have to be at different places and stuff, so, yeah", he cleared his throat. "Not gonna lie, if I were you, Sebastian, I'd get a bit intimidated by (Y/N)", Alan's comment made everyone laugh again, "Not in a bad way!", he defended himself, "Just... I mean, the stuff she does on camera! She could split you in half like cutting an orange." "Seb here, actually, gets the exact opposite of intimidated-", you started but got interrupted by your boyfriend, "No no no, we don't need to discuss this here."

"Yes, we do", you smiled brightly and put your hand on his thigh, "There've been some scenes which Sebastian prefered to do with my amazing stunt double Eva, because he just wouldn't want to risk hitting me, sooo-", everyone in the audience and Alan synchronized in an "Aww"-sound, making your boyfriend blush. "I think if we weren't together, I'd definitely get to do a lot more fight sequences, especially with the Winter Soldier." Alan smiled brightly at the two of you, "Ooooh, Sebastian Stan, I never knew you were such a softie." You co-star didn't answer, he just liked his lips and looked at the audience with a cheeky smile. From all the laughing, you placed your head on his shoulders to which he responded with an arm around your shoulders.

------------------------------------------

"Quinn, I... I can't let them get to you-", "I'm one of you! That's what comes with being an Avenger, you can't keep me from everything that is somehow 'dangerous', Bucky!", you screamed in character at your boyfriend who was, as well, in character. "I can and I will as long as I can!" Bucky was furious, his voice got louder and louder by the sentence. You scuffed and made your way back to your "room" by walking past him like you remembered it had been written in the script. Bucky was supposed to grab your under arm forcefully, which he did. "Bucky", you warned him.

This scene was filled with a lot of tension which was supposed to get relieved right then and there. Your faces were only inches apart and were moving closer. Even though you had been in a relationship for quite a while, it was weird kissing your boyfriend in front of so many other people. As you got closer to each other, you started closing your eyes, ready for the kiss to happen... your co-star had a different idea. He stuck his tongue out and as soon as you were close enough, he licked your face from your chin up to your eyebrows before you backed away laughing, "Sebastian!" The cameramen turned away, laughing now as well as pretty much everyone else who was looking at the two of you. Sebastian defended himself, "What? Isn't that how you kiss someone these days?" "Oh god, (Y/N) how do you keep up with him?", Joe Russo joked.

------------------------------------------

Sebastian and you got asked to review some new Marvel toys that day - you yet didn't know what they were. You were sitting on a white sofa with a glass coffee table in front of you. There were not too many people in this studio, which was very comforting for you since you enjoyed smaller masses of people a lot more than bigger ones. Sebastian was sipping on his coffee when a blonde woman walked through the door on the right side of the room, carrying a carton box. She approached you and put the box down on the table after you moved your mug, containing some tee, to make more room for it. Someone from behind the camera shouted through the room, "And we're rolling in five, four, three, two", he pointed with his finger to show us that we were able to lift the box now since they were recording. Sebastian gave you the honours to  pick it up and reveal whatever was underneath, "Alright, let's see", he added a dramatic effect by doing a drumroll on top of the glass table. As soon as the box was on the floor, you came to sight with your very own Marvel action figures, not only from your characters but also everyone else's. "Oh my god, look at those", you commented, immediately picking up your own. Seb smiled, grabbing the small version of the Winter Soldier, "They look amazing!" After the producers gave you time to get a good look at each of them, the actual task for this video followed, "What we'd like you to do now is, to form your very own 'perfect' team of Avengers." Your head shot up, "Oh no, don't do this. They're all great. Can I just keep them all together?", you jokingly asked to which the woman shook her head with a smile.

"Well, I know who can go immediately", your boyfriend commented. He took the Spiderman action figure and threw it behind the couch. "Sebastian!", you said with an outraged tone in your voice and an open mouth. Getting up, you walked behind there to grab the little figure, "You can't just throw him around like that." You sat back down. "Oh please, he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's doing", he brushed it off. "Just because you don't like him, doesn't give you the right to treat him like that", you patted Spiderman's head and looked at your boyfriend with puppy eyes. "You're just so nice to him 'cause you've got a crush on little Pete here", he scuffed while replacing his favourite Avengers in one line. "Someone's jealous?" You teased him. "Of course", he looked at you with a bright smile, "So, I'm guessing you want him in our team?" "What sort of question? Yehes!" You answered proudly and placed the action figure on the table right next to Iron Man, "And Tony!" "But he's on the wrong team! They're both on the wrong team.", he argued. "No, you and Cap are in the wrong team", you smiled back to which he answered with a whisper, "Traitor", while grabbing the Falcon and replacing him with Thor.

------------------------------------

Huge thanks to my internet bestie @imnothumanapparently who has requested this SO LONG AGO, but since tumblr has decided to be a bit a prick, it just wouldn’t upload and even got deleted at one point. So, this one’s a bit shorter but I could do a second part if you like it :)

Hope you all have a great night/day! <3

[dolcenco]

Ay, Mami Likes It Rough

(CNCO x Reader)

Plot: Spa day shenanigans with CNCO

Warning/s: Semi-naked CNCO and a small smut-ish scene in the end!

Syrah’s Note: I actually had fun writing this. Also, please note that these are the same characters from my other fic: I’m So Wet. Lastly, thank you to everyone who love and support my writing and fics, it means so much to me that people actually like them 😭💕 Don’t forget to leave feed-back, loves.

But now, on to the story!

-

You and Joel decided to spend the day hanging out in his hotel room while the other boys were doing whatever shenanigans they do on a day-off.

You were on the bed laying on your stomach, editing the latest CNCOMonday video while Joel was in the bathroom, too busy staring at his zit for the past thirty minutes.

It was bearable at first until he starts complaining about his monstrosity of a pimple.

“(Yyyyy/n), it’s huge!” Joel whines for the nth time that morning and being his good friend / media manager, you ignored him.

“uUURGH! (Y/N)!”

You sighed in annoyance and rolled out of bed. You trudged into the bathroom and grabbed Joel’s face forcefully, making him look at you. 

You grimaced when you saw the popped zit and finally get why he was complaining. It was sitting on top of his nose in all its oozing red glory.

“Ooooh, that’s one hella godzilla.”

He glares at you as you release his cheeks and sighed at this man-child.

”Joelito, sweetie, you’re not supposed to pop a zit when it’s fresh and not ready, now that’s gonna scar,”

“What?!” he panics and was about to pick at it again when you slapped his hand away from his face.

“Ay dios mio, Joel!” you scolded, flicking his forehead. “What did I just say? did you even wash your hands?!”

He ignores you and continues to intently stare at it as if it was going to magically disappear.

“Just wait it out a few days, you won’t die.” You say and start to walk back to the room but he grabs your arm and pulls you back.

“Make it disappear, pweaaaase,” He begs, his two hands clamped together below his chin.

You frowned, “Do I look like the zit fairy to you? If only we can-no, wait that’s it! I know what we’re gonna do today!”

“What?”

You grinned at him, getting all excited for your amazing idea. You dashed to your hotel room and returned back to Joel’s with your skin care essentials and numerous face masks. You even brought your small humidifier with you. 

After preparing everything, you and Joel decided to have a stress-free, relaxing spa day. It was not long until you both were lounging on his bed in your bathrobes, sipping chamomile tea with clay mask on.

You both sighed in contentment as the room filled with the scent of lavender and calming sound of spa music. 

“So…” Joel starts as you take a sip from your cup.

“Are you falling for Chris?”

You spat your drink, coughing while you clapped on your chest from your sudden outburst. Once you got it together, you glared at Joel. 

“Of course n-“

Your reply was cut short by a sudden knock on the door. 

You and Joel froze giving each other a knowing look. No way you’re going to let anyone see you both with a face mask on, so you both pointed at each other.

“You get it,” You say at the same time. 

“Admit that you’re falling for Chris and I will get the door,” Joel says with a devilish grin on his face.

“You’re the one with godzilla on your nose!” You retorted and he glares at you in return.

When you realize he wasn’t going to budge anytime soon, you groaned and hopped out of bed. You reluctantly opened the door and sighed in relief when you find Zabdiel on his phone texting as he leaned against the doorframe. 

“What can I help you with zabdaddy?”

We got to admit. Zabdiel is the absolute daddy, hence, the fitting nickname you gave him. He didn’t mind you using it but what you didn’t know is that he secretly likes it when you called him daddy. 

He looks up and was slightly taken aback when he saw you in your face mask but stifled a giggle because he was just sweet like that. “Que estas haciendo?”

“Joel and I are having a spa day, wanna join?”

He smiles and shrugs in response. You let him in, closing the door behind you. He sighs when the lavender scent hits his nose, feeling relaxed already.

“(Y/N), who was it?” Joel asks lifting one cucumber from his eye.

Zabdiel laughs at the sight of Joel and takes a photo, “Te ves ridicula,”

Joel snickers, placing the cucumber back and murmurs, “Still perfect though,”

You instructed Zabdiel to change into the spare bathrobe Joel had in his hotel room while you prepare the clay mask for him. 

Moments later, you were briefly interrupted again with a knock on the door and when you open it Richard and Erick enter with a bottle of wine and drinking glasses. They were wearing their bathrobes untied so their chest and abs were exposed.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked closing the door behind them.

“Zab told us that you were having a spa day and your daddy needs relaxing.” Richard says setting down the wine on the table before plopping next to Joel, taking a cucumber off his eye and eating it.

Zabdiel emerges from the bathroom with his bathrobe on, setting his neatly folded clothes on the table. “I’m ready!” He exclaims with so much enthusiasm.

You sat on the sofa with the bowl of clay mask mixture and patted your lap, “Come lay here, Zab”

He sits next to you and rests his head on your lap as you begin applying the paste mixture. He hisses the moment the mossy green substance touches his face. 

Erick sits on the floor next to you like the little kid he is, dipping his finger in the bowl and taking some of the paste on his finger.

“Is this edible?” He asks sniffing the mixture.

“I don’t think-ERICK COLON DON’T EAT IT, GOD!” You slapped his hand away from his mouth when he was about to lick off the mixture from his finger. 

“Sooo, (Y/N)......” Richard begins, “Are you and a certain someone dating?”

“Who?” You retort mindlessly, mixing the paste. When you were about to apply it on Zabdiel again, he was already looking at you expectantly. Even Erick looked amused.

“I’m not dating anyone,” You clarified, knowing damn well who they were referring to but hey it was true. You weren’t dating anyone. Sure, you shared flirty banters but it was nothing. 

“Oh, you’re not dating our laughing ass boy?” Richard grins from ear to ear in amusement waiting for your reaction.

You sighed in exasperation. If you get a dollar for every time someone asks you that question, you’d be a billionaire by now. 

“We’re not dating!” You snarled, throwing a face towel at him.

“Sure you aren’t, kiddo,” Joel pats the top of your head, making his way to pour Richard and himself a glass of wine.

Before you could protest, a knock interrupts you once again, halting the conversation.

Did the boys arrange a party or what? 

You made your way over to the door and when you opened it, you were greeted by the devil himself: Christopher Velez.

And he was topless and wearing only his boxers.

 Oh my god, damn this pendejo and his sex appeal. 

You shot the image of you running your fingers across his chest immediately when you hear him cough.

You didn’t realize you were gaping at him until he smirks and says, “You like what you see?”

With that, CNCO spa day chaos has commenced.

-

That afternoon, the spa day turned out to be the complete opposite of what you expected. It wasn’t the soft-kind of relaxing you and Joel opted for but it was rather amusing…

Richard was pinning Erick down on the floor, doodling on his face with the clay mask while Chris filmed his helpless friend for his instagram story. On the other side of the room, Zabdiel was giving Joel a full-on back massage, behaving like the good little children they were.

There came a point that you had to take the bowl of clay mask away from them because Richard and Erick thought it would be a great idea for Chris to taste the healing clay mask.

When night fell you were finally at peace when the boys decided to settle down for pop-corn and netflix. Erick and Joel were on their makeshift bed of blankets and pillows on the floor while Richard and Zabdiel occupied the bed.

As for you and Chris? You both sat on the couch with Chris laying in between your legs and his head on your lap as you stroked his hair absentmindedly. Every time you stopped, he would squeeze your hand, telling you to continue.

And yes, you were just friends. 

While you were focused on the movie, you can’t help but notice from the corner of your eye: a bulge forming in Chris’ boxers. You snorted and Chris looks up at you, confused. “What’s so funny?”

You shrugged and giggled, “Maybe you wanna calm down a bit?” you say, your eyes looking over his bulge. He follows your gaze and smirks. He chuckles before drawing his attention back to you.

“Or maybe you can not be boring and help me calm down?”

You blinked. You didn’t know if he was joking or not.

But hey, you don’t mind helping him with his little problem, oops.

“You’re such a horny ass shit, aren’t you,” You tugged on his fringe for his crude comment but only to have him respond with another.

“Ay Mami likes it rough,” He smirks, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

“Ugh, you’re so annoying!” You groaned, flicking his forehead.

“Get a room!” Erick yells.

“Ooooh, Chris and (Y/N) -” Before Richard can finish his sentence, you glare at him menacingly threatening to color his nails as you did with Erick, who was furiously removing the nail polish.

Everyone continued watching the movie but as minutes pass, the boys grew sleepier and sleepier. Zabdiel was the first to retire and slept on the bed. Erick and Richard went back to their rooms while Joel fell asleep half-way through the movie.

You and Chris managed to switch positions wherein he was sitting upright and you were laying down with your legs on his lap. You yawned and blinked the sleepiness away.

“Tired?” Chris looks down at you, rubbing his hands on your legs which sent chills through your body.

“A little,” You murmured and he looks at his phone to check the time.

“It’s late, I better go.” He said gently lifting you legs from his lap as he stood up, placing them back on the couch. You were kind of disappointed that he didn’t want to stay and sleep together but hey, it’s whatever, right?

“Okaaaay” You said sleepily, reaching out your arms to him for a good night hug. He giggles at how cute you looked. 

“Good night, babe,” He says, leaning down to give you a hug and your wrapped your arms around his neck.

You feel him nuzzle into your neck but what he did next caught you by surprise.

You let out a breathy moan when you suddenly feel Chris kiss your neck, gently sucking on the skin before giving the spot a small lick.

Before you could react, he pulls away and kisses your forehead. You stare at him in disbelief as he opens the door, blows you a kiss and finally exits the room, leaving you hot and bothered.

Your hand flies to to the spot on your neck where he kissed you, the sensation of his lips lingering as you sat there in shock.

What the hell just happened? Why did he do it? I wasn’t drunk enough, he wasn’t drunk enough. Did he like me that way? I mean, I liked him but what????????

Thoughts raced through your head and you couldn’t sleep that night but before the night ended, you thought to yourself:

I am 72 shades of done with Christopher Velez.

[mymoonjin1]

My thoughts on Crimes of Grindelwald

I know there are loads of comments on this already but I too need to rant for a while. I’ll try to finish this off with some constructive criticism, though. (I’d like to add that it’s perfectly fine if you did enjoy this film, this is just MY opinion.)

I don’t even know where to start. Listen, I am a huge Harry Potter fan, always have been, even considering a tattoo. And I actually really liked the first Fantastic Beasts movie. It had its flaws, but overall it was a good story. But most importantly: the movie can stand on itself. It has its own plot. Newt arrives in New York and accidentally lets loose a few magical creatures. The goal: finding the creatures whilst figuring out who is causing the muggle attacks. Simple, fun. They mention Hogwarts and Dumbledore, stuff we’re familiar with, but not overly so. It’s done cleverly. Now. Cut to Crimes of Grindelwald. Oh, boy. From uncomfortable close-ups to just plain weird editing this film is a goddam mess, not to mention the nonsensical storylines. No matter how effing cute nifflers are. Let’s break it into themes. 

Grindelwald

The movie ended and I still had no idea what Grindelwald’s crimes were. He “escapes” (He had already switched places with Abernathy, so why was that whole scene even there? A dark, evil wizard like him surely would just call Abernathy's sacrifice necessary for the cause or whatever), his French sidekick kills a family in order to keep their house and then he gives a speech. That’s it. What were his crimes?! He’s already a “notorious" dark wizard, what has he done besides spreading the word? Also, what is his actual ideology here? I’m sorry but that speech was a bit lame and again, confusing. Is he opposed to World War II or is he gonna take advantage of it? Kill all muggles or only those responsible for the war? But most importantly, we see Grindelwald for like ten minutes during the whole movie, why is his name even on the freaking title? I liked when he held his wand like he was directing an orchestra whilst killing everyone with the blue fire. That’s pretty much it.  Also, I’m not getting into Johnny Depp’s controversy cause that’s a whole other issue, but I think it reflected on his performance, like he was being too cautious, or something, at least that was my perception. I mean, whatever the circumstances, you’re already playing the role, then play the goddam role. 

Queenie

*Sigh* I honestly do not understand how they managed to turn a sweet and caring character into this whiny and annoying person, doing things so out of character. The love potion crap. Are you freaking kidding me?! Why was this necessary? Never mind about Jacob’s consent when I can just roofie him, kidnap him and force him to marry me! I’m the victim here, I just want to marry the one I love! Just… whyyyy? Also, she’s a freaking mind reader. How could a mind reader get brainwashed into joining a dark wizard? Because he preaches... free love? Ummm, does he?! Also, why did she freak out on the street? It was never mentioned before that her mind could get overwhelmed in crowds. It would make sense, but it was so out of nowhere it came out weird, and that scene just takes too damn long. Then the movie forgets about her for like twenty minutes to suddenly show her at the French witch’s house, like sure, I’ll go for a cup of tea with a total stranger, why not? Ugh. 

Dumbledore 

Ok, I actually liked Jude Law’s performance. The issue is that he, just like Grindelwald, is barely in the movie. We already knew that their relationship wasn’t going to be explored in this film, but it was still disappointing. We only got a “we were closer than brothers” and some hand-holding seen through the Mirror of Erised, WHICH APPARENTLY CAN NOW SHOW MEMORIES TOO, BUT OKAY. And please explain to me how is a blood pact different from an Unbreakable Vow? I get the aesthetic but surely an Unbreakable Vow is more convenient since it can’t be undone. Dumbledore suggested at the end of the movie that he might be able to destroy the blood pact. Wouldn’t have Grindelwald made sure to not leave anything to chance? Also, when did they make this blood pact, before the duel that killed Ariana? Why were they able to duel then? It can’t have been after, they wouldn’t have been exactly on speaking terms after that. That blood pact storyline took away the complexity of Dumbledore’s motives about not wanting to go after Grindelwald. Why wasn’t it enough that he once loved him and couldn’t bear to confront him after all that happened between them? That was a perfectly good explanation. This whole thing completely downplayed their relationship, like “yeah, now I just need to figure out how to destroy this necklace and I’ll be free to duel and possibly kill him, yay!” *Sighs*

Leta and Yusuf

What was the real purpose for these characters? We were lead to believe that the Lestrange family history was going to have this awesome revelation/plot twist and it ended up going nowhere. Also, the (insufferably long) scene where they finally explain the whole thing was so overcomplicated and confusing AF. For some reason, Leta’s dad (a rapist) sent her and her half-brother to the US, but since the baby wouldn’t shut up Leta switched him with another baby who happened to look exactly like him, and that baby was Creedence. Uh…okay? But then Leta returned to the UK and studied at Hogwarts? Sooo was that meant to be only a cool summer abroad? And how did she know about her half-brother Yusuf? How did they meet? Who made that freaking prophecy? Yusuf made that unbreakable vow with… whom, exactly? Himself? Arrgggg. Yusuf seemed to be an important character, I mean he locks Tina and Newt in a dungeon (they escape immediately but ok), but no. He spends almost the entirety of the movie unconscious only to appear conveniently at the cemetery to reveal he’s Leta’s half-brother. Just. Why ANY OF IT if later on we’d find out Creedence isn't even a Lestrange? GOD. 

So, back to Leta. She switched the babies (in the Titanic?) and also befriended Newt at Hogwarts. What was her relevance in the present? Why wasn’t the whole "ending up marrying his brother" explained? That’s a flashback that would’ve been useful, unlike the other ones. It could’ve added so much more to the relationship between the three of them, specially Theseus and Newt. But it was never mentioned. Also, why was she hated by everyone at school? Were all the Lestrange hated or was it only her? And THEN, FFS what was she even trying to attempt when she approached Grindelwald? Was she like tempted into joining him but regretted her decision last minute and tried to kill him instead? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? I liked the part when she said “I love you” and you’re not quite sure if she meant Newt or his brother. That was interesting. Would’ve been even more interesting had it been developed properly. But the rest of it? What a mess.

Newt, Tina, and Jacob

I actually adore Newt as a character. He’s a refreshing male lead who’s unapologetically himself throughout the story. I read a Vox article that called him amazingly neurodivergent, and in an interview, Redmayne also said he thought of him as having Asperger's. What an extraordinary thing to see in a male lead in a multimillion-dollar franchise! He’s awesome and doesn’t need to change the way he is in order to be cool. And yet in this film, he’s sooo relegated. He could’ve done SO much more, instead, he’s just lost in the sea of subplots with no real purpose. As for Tina, she has absolutely no character development whatsoever and Jacob is just there for comic relief. Also, how did he get his memories back? I’m sorry, but “the potion only took away the bad memories” is lazy writing. They are great characters but did absolutely nothing in this movie. Totally underappreciated. 

Nagini and Creedence

I don’t get why they made such a fuss over this since she has like THREE lines in the entire movie?! Seriously, why was she even there? She brought absolutely NOTHING to the plot. She just stands there next to Creedence when she could’ve been a super badass character. I’m not getting into the whole controversy, but I mean, if it was already happening, she should’ve at least had a kickass introduction. A backstory. ANYTHING. Why is a woman turning into a snake a circus attraction when anyone in this universe can become an animagus with enough practice? She was sooo mistreated here as a character. I get that there’s gonna be three more movies but COME ON, you can’t just make a huge ass preamble to another film without ANY sort of character development. It needs to have a plot of its own too. Like each of the Harry Potter books/movies. GEEZ. Now, Creedence. How did he survive? We saw a little remnant of the obscurus at the end of the first film, but hey, a little more context would’ve been nice. I thought the host and the obscurus were different things. Care to explain?! Also, how did he end up in Europe working at a magic circus? That circus thing could’ve been a very interesting plot but it goes nowhere. Again. And then... the ending. I hope the theory going around that it’s actually Ariana’s obscurus that somehow got attached to him and not actually him that’s a Dumbledore (and that’s what the phoenix was attracted to) is real because otherwise IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. Kendra Dumbledore died in 1899. Crimes takes place in 1927. That’s 28 years. I HIGHLY doubt Creedence is 28. Why would he still be living at an orphanage at 28 then? Or did Dumbledore’s dad knock someone up in Azkaban? Just. So. Many. Plot. Holes.

Nonsensical stuff

-The lady guarding Leta’s chamber. What. The. Fork?! She lets them through even though she clearly knew Tina wasn’t Leta, and only after they’re already inside she unleashes those weird cat things with Leta being there, the actual owner of the chamber who clearly doesn’t have a problem with the “intruders”. Just… WHY? 

-Jacob being able to go through the statue. Ummmm?! 

-McGonagall. SHE WAS BORN IN 1935! WHAT?!

-Also, I get the whole 1920’s vibe and I mean no disrespect towards Colleen Atwood, because the costumes are actually gorgeous, but like… no robes? NONE? You can’t tell muggles and wizards apart. That was a key aspect of Harry Potter, at least with the older generations, so you’d think in the 1920’s they’d be even more traditional with their wizard clothing. I mean, Lupin wore both suits AND robes. Just saying. 

-Out of hundreds of people at the cemetery, the niffler somehow knew precisely what item to steal and from whom. Ok???? 

-Nicholas Flamel. What was the point of him? All he did was talk with a random woman through a book and then conveniently appear at the end to tell everyone what to do to control the fire. I mean, cool, but care to elaborate?

-And that blue fire eagle thing. It’s a very, very long sequence that could have been way quicker. It was time wasted on CGI, time they could’ve spent more wisely elsewhere. 

-Another thing that has been rubbing me the wrong way is the mention of Creedence’s nanny being half-elf. I know it’s probably stupid for me to be weird about it but listen. This is a universe with house elves and goblins, and that’s totally fine, I like the part they play in the story. But then we also have Professor Flitwick, who’s never mentioned to be either of those things; he’s just little. That’s it. And he’s a total badass. So why did the nanny had to be half-elf? I remember an interview with Peter Dinklage in which he said he didn’t like playing roles that cast little people as magical beings, which is why he loved Tyrion in Game of Thrones. Then why couldn’t the nanny just be a regular witch? Why half-elf? How did that come about? Think about it: a human witch/wizard… with a house elf? Which are, essentially… slaves?! I don’t even want to know. And I’m probably overthinking it, but seriously. It wasn’t a necessary detail to mention. 

The Fanservice 

Ok, I get that they’d include certain Potter related stuff. Nostalgia is fun, right? AS LONG AS IT MAKES SENSE. McGonagall being there makes no sense. RESPECT. CANON. PLEASE. I get retconning stuff like classes taking place on different floors at Hogwarts but dude. This was kind of an important detail. The Philosopher’s Stone casually being shown at Flamel’s house. I mean, fine. But we get it, we know who he is, it’s not like we are idiots who need reminding of this. Also, the music. I adore Hedwig’s Theme, but this is a different story. I get like a few notes here and there, but the WHOLE damn theme during that Hogwarts shot? It actually kind of threw me off a little. I couldn’t pay attention to what was actually happening. 

Conclusion 

Ok. I honestly don’t understand what went wrong. I don’t know if Rowling should just stick to writing novels or if it was the editing, the directing or-or… I just can’t even. JK Rowling is amazing at writing mystery. In all of the Harry Potter books, there were mysteries to be solved: who’s after the Philosopher’s Stone? Who opened the Chamber of Secrets? Why is Sirius Black after Harry? Who put his name in the Goblet of Fire? And so on. And in the first FB movie, the mystery was who was responsible for the attacks, and it made you believe it was Creedence’s little sister. That was still a good plot twist. Please, do tell, what was solved in Crimes? What did they actually accomplish? They spent the whole movie going in circles. Like I said, you can’t just have a huge ass preamble to a different movie. It needs to stand on its own, have its own arc. Otherwise, what’s the point? I genuinely wanted to like this film, but its narrativity makes it impossible to enjoy the actual plot, even with likable characters and appealing visuals.

Listen, I will forever be grateful to JK Rowling for the impact Harry Potter has had in my life. They are to this day my favorite books. I loved the original book for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, as well as Quidditch Through the Ages and Tales of Beedle the Bard. They added fun details to the main story, a little peek into the Wizarding World. But then the whole expansion happened. And I used to get mildly excited whenever a new story was published on Pottermore. But eventually, I lost interest. And whenever someone said “I wish there was another book” I immediately cringed at the thought. Why ruin something that had ended in such a perfect way? The Harry Potter world ended with the seventh book. And that was ok. You need to let things go. That’s life. But then for money some reason, Cursed Child (aka That Which Must Not Be Named) was allowed to happen. And then, Fantastic Beasts happened, but it was a whole different story with brand new characters within the same universe, actually written by JK Rowling. Well, that actually sounded promising. Because it was a separate thing. A few references here and there. What could go wrong? Right. 

There are millions of reasons why the expansion hasn’t been working, but I think part of the problem came from social media. When we were kids we’d send letters to our favorite authors, but now they are just a tweet away. Which can obviously be wonderful. But you have to know where to stop. And I don’t think JK understands that. And I don’t mean it like she’s not allowed to have her own opinions and versions of certain things that didn’t come up in the books; she created the universe. But altering canon isn’t right. Forcing narratives that don’t make sense with what’s already established is weird. That’s why it’s important to leave things to the imagination/each reader’s interpretation. You want to write a different story within the same universe, that’s amazing, go ahead! As long as it’s properly developed and has its own merits. I genuinely want to like FB. And I did. But I don’t know what went wrong with this one. You’re capable of SO much more, Jo, I know you are. Sorry if I’m being too harsh. 

[rebelreywho]

My thoughts on "Crimes of Grindelwald"

911? I've just witnessed a character assassination. R.I.P Queenie Goldstein, my mind reading badass

Credence, honey, I am very sorry for everyone messing you up. A Dumbledore? Give us a break!

The gang should keep Nicolas Flamel, he's too precious

I love the Scamanders. BOTH OF THEM. Clearly Newt belongs with Tina, but Theseus is single now, so (too soon?)

I loved Leta. Letting her brother drown with the Titanic? That's sooo Lestrange

Dumbledore's the Yoda of the Wizarding World. Also, I would fall in love with Jamie Campbell Bower too, although old Grindelwald? BIG PASS

It was really exciting to go back to Hogwarts until we were shown the uniforms. Ugh!

Wow, McGonagall is so awesome that she's able to impart discipline years BEFORE her birth

Why can everyone see those thesthrals in the beginning of the movie? Did every single person there witnessed someone dying or killed someone?

Was Kreacher the elf cleaning that window back at the English ministry of magic?

J.K. Rowling, I will NEVER forgive you for what you've done to Queenie and Credence. You better wise up for the next film.

A gif to sum up "Crimes of Grindelwald"

[nspx]

a non-cohesive rambling post about tlj

buckle in boys because what the fuck

also. spoilers. so many spoilers

right so i’ve been reading some posts and mainly it’s all ‘rian johnson u asshole’ and ‘star wars is ruined forever’ BUT i dont think it is?? not completely anyway?

i thought the movie was. good? i mean. coming out of the theater i thought to myself i like this, it’s fine. and it is fine, but not. not it, you know? it had its ups and downs and honestly im surprised it’s getting so much hate, because i actually kind of. liked it? but there was some bullshit, yall 

l u k e s k y w a l k e r

my sweet son what did the bad man do to you?? i mean. i. i??? 

LUKE “THERE IS STILL GOOD IN YOU, I CAN SENSE IT” SKYWALKER TRIED TO KILL HIS OWN NEPHEW???? BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF HIS POWER??? THE LUKE THAT T H R E W AWAY HIS LIGHTSABER IN FRONT OF THE EMPEROR BECAUSE HE //BELIEVED// IN HIS FATHER??? TRIED TO KILL A TEENAGE BOY - HIS FLESH AND BLOOD!!!!! - IN HIS SLEEP??

right, so. i believe that luke is a nuanced character with flaws. and i believe that there have been times when he struggled with his own grasp of light and dark, this being one of these times. but?? trying to murder his nephew??? 

during the movie i thought that maybe luke looking into ben’s darkness made him fall into his own a little bit? because i just don’t see luke that way. luke always believed in the good in people. he saw the good in vader - v a d e r - who was so far gone he didn’t even believe it himself anymore. and you’re telling me he truly didn’t believe kylo could be saved? or even helped? that he deserved to die, even if he believed this just for a moment?

other than that. i found luke had his good moments in the film as well. using the force to trick kylo, so that the rebellion had time to escape. or the beautiful moment where luke was looking at the sunset, the end of his journey in parallel to the sunset in anh, the beginning of his journey. pure poetry. a+

sitting with yoda and watching the tree burn? turning into a force ghost? threatening to haunt kylo forever?

leia and luke sitting down together? luke kissing leia on the forehead? good shit

but. the scene with luke squeezing milk out of that creatures tits and drinking it savagely. i... that could’ve been avoided. i mean. it did make rey see that she didn’t necessarily find what she had been looking for, but? honestly this movie disrespected my son, luke skywalker, so bad but also. the scene where he wiped nonexistent dust off his shoulder? such a badass move

(”see you around, kid” my soul descended from this astral plane to another, i love u luke)

snoke 

what the fuck

what the fuck what kind of bullshit. hes so weak. hes such a bullshit character, honestly. general grievous would’ve eaten him for breakfast and grievous is a pussy bitch. he wouldn’t have survived a day in the clone wars. palpatine would’ve projected his ass into the cold reaches of the galaxy with a mere look. fuck this snoke guy how am i supposed to take him seriously

that dumb speech?? fuck that guy. seeing him die was cathartic but at the same time anticlimactic cuz like?? too easy. -12/10 villian

onto the next point

K Y L O R E N 

or should i say, ben solo? who even are you kylo? make up your damn mind

like. you want to be good but you also kinda wanna be the leader of a new fascist government. you kinda love rey but also?? ‘you’re nothing’ MMMMM i think the fuck not boy “but not to me” nice save loser

honestly..... i have such a love hate relationship with kylo. because the way this movie was set up and what r*an did to luke.... u kinda see that he made it so that everyone just knows that.... LUKE FAILED KYLO OK. he truly did. luke was afraid of ben and he could never truly offer him the support that he needed because /fear/ *cue to yoda cackling like a maniac (what the fuck was that all about, also)* drove him to madness, i guess?

but then again kylo also burned everything down right after he collapsed a whole building on his uncle and went on a 10 year long murderous rampage, so? how am i supposed to defend u kylo get it together already

BUT THENNNN, like. this snoke character manipulated him all along? that doesn’t excuse kylo’s actions but ya know. hm. idk. all snoke did was abuse kylo and then he was like “ah my shining beautiful strong apprentice i have always believed in you”. what the fuck. at least be a little intimidating. 

honestly kylo should’ve just clocked him in the face with his dumb fucking mask instead of ruining the elevator, what a missed opportunity and waste of resources

kylo ren/rey

honestly. i mean. im not here for or against this ship. because i see both sides of it (like, kylo is a murderous asshole that abused rey and murdered millions, but also - redemption arc? i love a redemption arc bitcc fuck me up)

personally i’m less interested in their ~love bond than i am in their force bond because it’s so fucking epic, my dudes. e p i c 

we always had anakin or luke as these two all-powerful people that carried the entire balance of the force by themselves but now we have two people, so completely different and y e t they r two halves of one whole and i love that so much

they’re both incredibly strong. i like that there is both light and dark in both of them. they complete each other. i don’t see their ~relationship happening tbh like we won’t get an anidala level of romance, i just think this force bound destiny thing is an interesting idea

their long distance skype call force connection? loves it, the force is magical

(”you’re not alone” “neither are you” i cannot believe. i cannot believe. “can you cover yourself up” *crickets* i’m dead)

rey’s parentage

mmmm. i keep seeing people complain she isn’t a skywalker. i was 100% sure she was but now i’m kinda glad she isn’t? the force sure loves her tragic desert children

she came from nothing but now she’s the very last jedi, the last hope for the galaxy, and i LOVE THAT. 

the rebellion

ok. ok. i am devastated

the rebellion truly did lose so much in this movie. sooo much. i’m crying. what for? was that necessary? 

and poe? my son. i love him. general hugs? i cried laughing. my son

but whaaat the fuck was the deal with admiral purple hair? ever heard of communicating like a normal person? like, telling poe what she was planning would’ve saved them sooo much bullshit? but telling poe would’ve cut the movie in half sooo

so many lives were lost because?? felt like really no reason at all, just miscommunication and people - the good guys - fighting each other?? it was sooo unsettling

like. so much of this movie i felt like the characters started out doing one thing and in the middle of the writing process the writers were like mmm no wait let’s go in a completely different direction which has 0 to do with anything at all yes brilliant

but then poe’s speech at the end? the last of the rebellion all together in the falcon? there is hope there is always h o p e 

honorary mention

general hugs 

i hate him but also kinda. respect him? he’s an asshole but he was ready to shoot kylo ren, he was ready to go

other things i found (REALLY!!) bothersome

the lack of finnrey

the lack of finnpoe

just the mains interacting?? 

things i really liked

rose!! and her sister!! their backstory was so touching! also, rose is force sensitive and so is finn. don’t fight me on this. did you see the bond between rose and animals? a ~force bond. d o n t fight me.

l e i a - i cried, ugh. this really was her movie

the humor!! this really was a funny movie

the cinematography - some of the shots really were breath taking

i saw a lot of little tidbits alluding to the other sw movies and also other sci fi movies, i liked that

THE KIDS IN THE CITY!!! 

THE LITTLE BOY AT THE END!!! HE’S FORCE SENSITIVE!! THE JEDI WILL COME BACK THEY WILL COME BACK THEY ALWAYS COME BACK!! loves it

the Force (leia surviving space? luke projecting himself all the way to a random ass planet? LUKE OPENING HIMSELF UP TO THE FORCE AGAIN? HOW REY IS SO POWERFUL SHE CRACKED OPEN THE ISLAND?? i love. the force loves all of her children and will go to ridiculous lengths to make sure they stay alive)

anway i’ll be screaming about this movie for a month despite all of its flaws have a good night

[vohalika]

I suffer for my art

For an article appearing on thefandomentals.com, I actually sat down (with a lot of booze) and subjected myself to watching the Lightning Thief movie again. Here are unfiltered live notes, so everyone can suffer with me.

(Why yes I do channel cinema sins. just a little bit)

·         The first 10 seconds do away with the one core rule of the franchise; as Poseidon for some reason steps out of a river, a fisherman SEES him. The books avoid this by having a thing called “mist” exist that keeps mortals from seeing ancient greek mythology stuff going on. Unless, of course, that particular fisherman was blessed with clear sight and is destined to be the next oracle. Suck it, Rachel.

·         Oh god, Sean Bean is in this movie, and he doesn’t even die. That alone says everything about the quality you need to know.

·         Why the fuck are they meeting in mortal forms on the empire state building? Yes, that’s where Olympus is, but Olympus is metaphysically ABOVE the fucking building, not the deck they’re on, which would be crowded at any and all times of day.

·         Okay. So they meet here to discuss exposition. Zeus knows Poseidon has a son. Zeus is also to blame for Poseidon never contacting said son. I mean, technically it’s a pact the two of you made with your other brother after he spawned Hitler and a world war happened, but, uh, is that even canon to this movie?

·         Okay, Sean Bean establishes the summer solstice as a deadline. Keep that in mind. SUMMER SOLSTICE.

·         Why do we put the plot into the first three seconds of the film? Was Columbus afraid we’d fall asleep after this and wouldn’t be able to catch up?

·         Okay real talk Logan LErman would have been the perfect Percy about 5 years before this movie was made. He grew up a little too baby faced to still be a good fit for battle hardened don’t fuck with me Percy of the follow up series, but still, such a missed opportunity.

·         Okay so Percy regularly hangs out at the bottom of the swimming pool for 7 minutes to think. That’s, ah. Weird. You know. If you do that regularly, people might notice. And Grover, whose job is to keep him safe, and also to technically keep him from realizing he’s not quite human, is encouraging this. Because. Sure. Why not.

·         OKAY. SO. They kept the NAME of the school, but not the boarding school aspect. They turned Mrs. Dodds into an English teacher so she could make a joke about the word fury in Othello. And they choose to establish the dyslexia and ADHD thing during dialogue while not actually showing any ADHD symptoms. I can’t quite talk about how well they do with the dyslexia, but from what we see, it’s the letters just fogging over and randomly turning into Greek letters which is not how it is described in the books at all. Seems more like Percy needs glasses here.

·         Oh my fucking god. Gabe comes home, sits down in the uncomfortable kitchen chair, demands beer and smacks Sally on the ass, and both Percy and Sally treat him like a rude house guest maybe, not like the abusive asshole he’s actually supposed to be. Percy even stands up to him and thinks it’s necessary to explain that this is his mother and he will not have her sexualized in this kitchen. Gah.

·         How can this house both be Gabe’s while at the same time, he never held down a job?

·         Also Percy comes into the pretty house at the ground floor and calls for his mother who is like on the third floor. Is that entire house theirs? If so, damn, Gabe is a rich unemployed white trash person.

·         Oh and now Poseidon just randomly wanders around New York to stalk his son amazing

·         Percy wears headphones during the plot related exposition at the MOA

·         At least he’s fidgeting now. That’s progress.

·         OKAY. So Ms. Dodds pulls Percy aside in the middle of the lesson, and Grover and Mr. Brunner can totally leave too to help him. They also cut the action sequence but sure, whatever.

·         Percy gets weirdly ableist when Grover says he’s his protector. Like, in the books Percy’s objection to that was that Grover was constantly being bullied and Percy had to stand up for him.

·         In fact, Percy and Grover could possibly pass for cool kids here; neither of them look like losers. Percy is pretty and has amazing abs. That’s… Completely contrary to how book!Percy feels. Like, he gets better once he reaches the age where boys stop looking like cave trolls, but, uh, that takes a while.

·         Then they go home to Sally, Grover downs Gabe, and they run off, and Gabe’s poker buddies just let them be. What.

·         They start conversation about the father while the sun is setting in New York City, and only commence it in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere

·         The minotaur who just toppled their car is suddenly all the way up the hill. Wow.

·         Sexist edit: In the books, Percy’s mom explains to him how to fight the minotaur. Here, he just kinda figures it out himself.

·         Okay. Two dumb things: With the mom evaporated just before the camp gates, why do they fight the minotaur at all? In the books, Percy is half a mile away from the camp when the showdown happens and he fights to save himself and his mom. Here, he just charges out there to avenge his mom even though the magical gate is right there.

·         Second: instead of going for his sword, the actual weapon, Percy goes for the horn stuck in the tree, almost getting skewered himself. Now, the narrative for some reason rewards him for this, but this is just dumb. And there was also no indication that the horn was going to work better than the sword, which is also right there and not stuck in a tree.

·         The fury roughed him up more than the minotaur did, and yet this is the part where he falls unconscious

·         Grover is BUFF

·         He’s supposed to be a scrawny loser kid with anxiety issues

·         Also nursing Percy is Annabeth’s part. This is important. Ish.

·         Yeah, okay, Grover giving Percy the tour is… Unfortunate. In the books, there were actual adults giving him these talks, and also Annabeth, and you get the feeling Satyrs are veeeeery low on the pecking order. Also, Mr Brunner was there to actually take him seriously

·         Also, the camp just looks wrong. Way wrong.

·         UGH

·         UUUUUGH

·         OKAY

·         We’re introduced to BRUNETTE Annabeth while a bunch of people do badly choreographed battle around her. This is wrong. This is so wrong.

·         Annabeth is good in a fight, yeah. But her main asset is her brain. And the first glimpses we get of her is taking care of Percy, both nursing him and giving him the tour, because she piecing together how he fits into a prophecy that concerns her and is her ticket out of there.

·         Also they kind of combine her role in this movie with that of Clarisse, who is a daughter of Ares and a bully like the ones Percy never had to face here. I have no idea why they did that, and it’s even more ridiculous since Clarisse appears in the sequel.

·         Why did they have to put more than one centaur in here, they’re supposed to be party animals roaming the countryside, EXCEPT for Mr. Brunner who is Chiron fuck everything

·         Okay. They also conflated the daughters of Aphrodite with the naiads that are around, and both groups would NEVER give Grover the time of day. Buuut I guess considering where this leads, we do have to play up his sex appeal, huh?

·         OKAY. The cabins in the books are actual fancy and pretty houses, befitting Greek gods. Being claimed by a god is also a special thing, and the fact that it is special contributes greatly to the 5 book story arc. Here, they just shove Percy into a weird wooden structure full of sailing paraphernalia specifically built for him.

·         Okay so apparently the only danger kids of the big 3 pose is making the other big 3 jealous for some reason, not because they literally kicked off the world wars

·         And apparently, Gabe’s smell isn’t supposed to keep monsters away, but the other gods?!

·         Well I mean everyone seems to have known about Percy, sooo

·         Also Percy has no way to integrate into camp or anything , has no connection to any of these people, anything

·         Luke is missing a scar, and is also completely creepy from the get go

·         Why do we keep getting meaningful close ups of Annabeth, what is she supposed to mean to anyone at this point

·         Why was she fighting with a knife minutes ago and is nnow using a bow and arrow, it’s Athena not Artemis

·         This game of cpture the flag is stupid

·         And also undercuts Annabeth’s actual point

·         In the books this involved like tactics and shit

·         But like, I commend the script for making Percy lampshade how ridiculous this all is

·         It’s just that capture the flag had a narrative purpose, too, which is null and voide when he was already claimed

·         Also Percy is such an idiot for just going for the flag like that

·         Annabeth has boob plate

·         "My mother is goddess of wisdom and battle strategy. You know what that means?" - IT MEANS YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO TAKE OFF YOUR HELMET WHILE FACING AN ENEMY WITH A SWORD.

·         AND ALSO YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO MONOLOGUE AT AN OPPONENT

·         WHAT IS HER BEEF WITH PERCY? Yes, he rudely stared at you for a while, but why do you need to cut him up like that?!

·         She just beats him down and nobody does a thing they all just stand around staring what the fuck

·         And then everyone cheers when she’s done beating down the completely untrained new kid?! WHAT THE FUCK

·         ArE YOU ALL BRAAVOSI WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON

·         THERE ARE BLUE FORCES RIGHT BEHIND YOUR FLAG WHY ARE THEY NOT DOING ANYTHING

·         Percy, who already knows he’s a son of Poseidon needs to be told by divine intervention to go to the water, the only place he actually liked before

·         Brief contact with water then turns him into superman and has him actually sort of beat Annabeth

·         Though not as cruelly as she beat him

·         And then everyone just lets him walk to the flag. Why the fuck.

·         You know who actually figured out how the water powers worked? Annabeth!

·         You know who actually made a battle plan to get the flag for the blue team? ANNABETH!

·         Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah

·         Percy gets party invitations. The fuck.

·         Annabeth chases them away and then flirts with him for some reason. Percy is also completely turned on by a public beat down.

·         “I definitely have strong feelings for you” whaaaat the fuck. Whaaaaaaat the fuck. This is soooo weird.

·         WHERE IS MY FIVE BOOK AWKWARD PUBERTY SLOW BURN

·         Oh hello flame demon. How nice of you to just show up like that and deliver the plot to us

·         Okay. So. Hades wants the bolt, but outright states that he doesn’t have it. So far, the plans are to talk to one of two enraged gods and convince them he didn’t take the bolt. That’s…Not much of a plan at all unless someone here knows how to cast a zone of truth spell or something

·         Hades now comes along and offers his mom in exchange for the bolt, instead of being framed for everything like in the books, and the camp counsellors just… leave Percy alone after that?

·         Like, not only Grover, but the random chick who brutally tore into him in front of a crowd figured out he was going to bail without ever receiving a tiny bit of training, guys. This is stupid.

·         Annabeth wants a quest. Sweetheart, this is not a quest. There is a protocol to these things, as you would know. A god has to assign it, there has to be a clear objective, and at least according to camp regulations, a prophecy, and the entire thing has to be official. But sure. Tag along with the random unprepared kid who’s going to get his mom.

·         OH THAT’S JUST GREAT YEAH Annabeth would not know how to get to the underworld, she has to go ask A MAN for info SOMEONE SHOOT ME

·         Luke is in a completely empty cabin with a gaming console and flat screens and pokes fun at the ren faire feel

·         Luke, Annabeth has daddy issues completely independent from her godly parent but okay fine

·         YEAH LUKE LECTURE US ON GREEK MYTHOLOGY

·         NO NOT LIKE THAT

·         Okay so my personal interpretation of Persephone is more that of an ancient times beauty and the beast kind of deal, so that she’s not entirely unhappy

·         Also like, Greek mythology has a maaaaaajor Madonna/whore complex. Maaaaajor. And while she’s not one of the chastity goddesses, Persephone kiiiinda doesn’t fall in the dedicated adulteress part of that spectrum

·         But foreshadowing. I get it.

·         Convenient map is convenient

·         Super literal soundtrack

·         Also they still haven’t told us where the underworld is or how to get in there, just that it’s easy

·         “Let’s split up, check everything” Greeaaat plan, Percy. And then just go looking around without actually looking thoroughly

·         Now Annabeth is dragged along screaming and Grover actually knows how is greatuncle died and is the one to figure out what’s going on. Great.

·         Like, in the books, he still finds his uncle Ferdinand, but no one ever knew what happened to him because he got lost during a search at a place where no one really returns from

·         Annabeth is the first one to figure out that the nice woman giving them burgers and asking them to pose for pictures is not their friend and saves both Grover and Percy, and Percy figures out who she is himself immediately after, before the veil comes off and the snakes start hissing

·         Oh, Uma Thurman, you are too good for this

·         I need to watch Kill Bill after this just to calm down

·         It’s weirdly cathartic to fight your own murderous instincts

·         CALL ATTENTION TO ANNABETH’S HAIR JUST TO RUB IT IN WHY DON’T YOU

·         Annabeth knows this story dammit

·         Also villain monologue

·         I dunno, Uma, you’re still pretty hot like that

·         At least Percy figures out the reflection thing

·         Ugh Annabeth has to get rescued

·         How can you sense him if you were surprised by his presence before?

·         Percy says he can look at her reflection and then throws away the phone he’s using to look at her when he actually sees her

·         Where the fuck did they get the car

·         How did Annabeth learn to drive at camp

·         She can sense him, sees him coming, and he still gets to cut off her head from behind

·         And then she conveniently carried around the pearl with her

·         DID THIS MOVIE JUST IMPLY PERSEPHONE GOT FREAKY WITH MEDUSA?!

·         How do they get a motel room, do they actually have credit cards or something? What the fuck.

·         Yeah okay I don’t feel creepy at all looking at Logan Lerman’s naked torso some more

·         So I guess Percy’s ocean powers in this movie work like waterbending and can also heal other people

·         How he figured that out? No idea. Why he doesn’t start carrying around water everywhere he goes for just this purpose?

·         And aaaalso I think the more significant story for the animosity between Athena and Poseidon would be how he fucked Medusa in her temple, but sure. The story about Athens.

·         Book!Annabeth, when prompted, brings up both, by the way.

·         Why is it forbidden for all gods to interact with their kids?

·         DID SHE SAY SALLY UGLIANO?! SALLY JACKSON NEVER TOOK HIS NAME AND THAT IS FUCKING IMPORTANT

·         Why is there laundry service in the middle of the night?

·         And how did they get to check out after that?

·         Yeah okay this Parthenon business is completely not in the books

·         “I wonder if she really looks like that” Okay okay cutting out the field trip is fucking stupid

·         No one checks the bathrooms before closing up the place?

·         And no on turns off the lights in the bathrooms?

·         Cleaning staff ruining the day yet again

·         Every time Annabeth shoots anything in this movie I die a little on the inside

·         Also hey, there are more black people in this movie than Grover and Persephone, and they all work in maintenance

·         Ugh, son of Poseidon taking to the air

·         Aaaand the maintenance squad has been possessed

·         Annabeth gets to point out the obvious, Percy is on fire like it’s no big deal, and Hail Hydra isn’t even a thing yet. At least not in the main stream.

·         Flying shoes are now fully attuned and working for him

·         Annabeth shoots shit again

·         At one point, it is a plot point that children not of Apollo aren’t that good at archery

·         And Annabeth in the books fights with a knife, an invisibility cap, and her wits, and never shoots shit

·         Medusa petrifies the hydra through fire

·         Okay then

·         Where do they get their money for food from

·         That’s a major obstacle in the books

·         The credit cards they totally have?

·         And the gas money for that car

·         Okay so the underworld is actually visually striking and could have had potential

·         Hades is actually vengeful and out to kill the other gods

·         Persephone mentions her allotted time away from him, but is still there before the solstice.

·         She double crosses Hades because she hates him and shit, it’s weird

·         And then she hits on what for all intents and purposes is an underaged boy

·         The staredown is sooo unsatisfying and thematically rrelevant

·         Luke just conveniently happened to flutter around the empire state building close to midnight because….?

·         Does this camp have no security?

·         The fight is badly, badly choreographed

·         Luke also just has delusions of grandeur and wants to ascend to gdhood or something

·         “You’Re no hero” – actually, per definition, he is.

·         Also, this fucking lightning bolt is supposed to be more powerful than nuclear bombs, STOP USING IT IDIOTS

·         And then Luke just kinda chills on top of the building, waiting for Percy to come and angage him in aerial combat like a video game boss

·         Okay if you’re using the lightning bolt, fucking use it

·         HOW CAN PERCY’S SWORD REFLECT IT DAMMIT

·         No, really, if a celestial bronze sword can do that, what’ so great about it in the first place

·         They use this thing like a flashier version of a tazer

·         Also, they’re right underneath Olympus, you’d think the gods might actually intervene this close to their home turf

·         Luke then uses Percy’s lack of proficiency at aerial combat to suggest he might be no son of Posedong after all… Which I agre with, actually, because Zesu would blast any sons of Poseidon out of the air immediately

·         He also effectively reminds Percy of his waterbending powers, so he can make water tanks explode for dramatic final battle poses

·         The bolt somehow doesn’t electrocute Luke when caught in a tidal wave

·         Water somehow knocks Luke’s shoes off

·         Mortals are allowed to go to Olympus

·         Ah wait, just to ride the elevator up there

·         Athena has a random British accent

·         And the gods are arguing, completely oblivious to what’s going on, but also totally prepared for imminent war

·         With each other in a council chamber

·         Riiight

·         Also the movie gave absolutely no reason for Luke to be angry

·         Athena and Poseidon are conveniently already standing

·         Zeus just like that agrees to bring Grover from the underworld WHICH IS NOT EVEN HIS DOMAIN

·         Poseidon gets to talk to Percy and doesn’t even shrink down to do it. They never say why the gods aren’t allowed to talk to their children

·         …Gods become human when they spend too much time with mortals? AND THAT’S WHY THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED TO VISIT THEIR CHILDREN?! WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?!?!!?!?!

·         Zeus and Poseidon are RIVALS. Godhood can be BESTOWED. The rational thing to do would have been to let him become human and appoint a new god of the sea loyal to Zeus

·         You’d think some tactical minded deity who doesn’t like Poseidon very much would have thought of that

·         Sally can just kick out Gabe, just like that

·         Chiron is totally into students disobeying. Let word of that get around, and everyone will run away and be eaten by monsters, defeating the entire purpose of the camp

·         Gd dammit you kids have no chemistry and with the intense eyes and same hair color look more like siblings

·         Making this almost kiss really uncomfortable.

·         Also, how is Percy suddenly able to stand up against her clunky pirouette fighting without having stepped into water first?

·         Ugh

[madisonmaintospain]

¡Carnaval, La Sonido de la Musica, y mas! (Carnival, Sound of Music, and more!)

Well, it’s officially been two months that I’ve been living here in Spain. It feels like one week, but also feels like 6 months at the same time. I’ve been pretty busy, traveling, studying, napping, lol. I’m a little behind on this blog and photos but I’m trying to catch up.

Quick update about my personal life: I’m obsessed with the show Brooklyn 99. Anyone watch it? It’s super funny, like the office. I highly recommend it. In fact I’m getting distracted by it whilst writing this. 

Also, a Spanish friend of ours, who works publicity for the University, was tasked with updating the school’s brochures. The following photo will be the new cover of the Spanish Programs Brochure through the University! 

Mom! I’m famous!

So two weekends ago, was an event called Carnaval. It’s a big festival in Spain and bordering countries where there are plenty of parades, concerts, and parties. Me and two of my friends, Cece and Anna, headed down to the Spanish Islands of the Canaries. We stayed in Gran Canaria, in the town of Las Palmas, which is huge for the Carnaval festivities. 

We explored the city, trying new foods, (not really, we ate pizza and pasta most of the time), new drinks, and meeting new people. Our hostel was called Pura Vida Hostel which means “pure life” or “good life” in Spanish, and it is the tattoo I have as well. It’s a very popular phrase in Costa Rica. They say it all the time there. Anyway, we didn’t know when we booked it, but the hostel was a surf hostel. All of the guests were hardcore surfers. Lol oops. It wasn’t a problem, we still bonded with the volunteers and other guests, and they showed us around Carnaval a bit. It was very nice.

Everyone wears costumes to all the Carnaval Festivities - it’s like a mix of Mardi Gras, Halloween, and St. Patrick’s Day. The ‘theme’ of this year’s Carnaval was like peace and love and tye-dye, so I thought the hippie theme was appropriate. There were sooo many people dressed as hippies so I was for sure not the only one.

The weather wasn’t the best, it was partly cloudy a couple of the days, but it was still beautiful. The most perfect weather day was when we took a day trip down to the southern part of Gran Canaria to a town called Maspalomas. There, WE RODE CAMELS. Yeah, you read that right. We got to ride camels in the Maspalomas Sand Dunes. It wasn’t Africa, but it might as well have been. (Look on a map, it’s very close) The weather was perfect, we were right by the ocean, it was amazing. 

Then after the camel ride, we got to spend the rest of the day at the beach, soaking up the sun and enjoying our last full day in the Canaries. It was a nice way to end our little beach vacay! 

I want to go back! Now!!

After the magical weekend on the Island, it was back to reality on Wednesday, but only for a couple days, because my next trip began Friday morning at 2:00 a.m. 

I flew out to meet my BFF Devon, who is currently studying abroad in Scotland, in Munich, Germany!! We only stayed in Munich for a night, because the next day we took a bus to Salzburg, Austria! Which was the main highlight of the weekend, and actually my entire study abroad experience so far.. 

Our first day in Munich was a bit, let’s say, slow. First of all, my flight got in at around 9:30a.m. or so, and I had to wait at the airport for Devon’s flight which came in at around 3:00 p.m. I tried to find somewhere to sleep for a bit. I did, then I got kicked out because “Ma’am, you can’t sleep in the restaurant.” Whatever lady.

Anyway, once Devon arrived, our next step was to get to our hotel. Long story short, it took us 3 hours to navigate our way from the Airport to our hotel, when it only should’ve taken like 20-30 minutes.. German is hard. But we did have the BEST pretzel ever. It was a soft pretzel with butter and chives - OMG. So good. We finally arrived at our hotel after some speed bumps, literally. Have I mentioned that the drivers in Europe are terrible?? Ugh talk about motion sickness. Dramamine anyone??

After we got settled, we found a nice little place by our hostel where we had pizza for dinner. Surprise, right? We had some german beer, salami pizza, and then got a good night's sleep in preparation for the following day’s activities!

Then Saturday came! Travelling day! We let ourselves sleep in a bit, but also gave ourselves plenty of time to get to the bus station because of the events the previous day. We got to the station, did a little snack shopping, and boarded our bus to Salzburg! When we arrived in Salzburg, we had a little time before we could check into our hostel, so I looked up “Things to do in Salzburg,” and these gardens called Mirabell Palace and Gardens, and so I was like “Oh Devon, this looks cute, let’s go!” Not paying much attention to the photos shown on google, I didn’t realize it was actually the gardens where the filmed “Do-Re-Me!” Of course I freaked out and was like, how did I not know this? So we stayed there for a while, acted out the scenes, and loved life.

I was extremely happy, in my element, and couldn’t stop smiling! It was so funny that I found it by accident. After exploring, and taking mounds of photos, we started to make the trek to our hostel. We noticed that right by the gardens, was a theatre, and believe it or not, they were playing Sound of Music. Devon and I obviously wanted to go, so we thought we would come back about an hour or so before the show and see if there were any tickets left. Fast forward to about 6, we show up to the box office, and get the LAST TWO TICKETS. They were box seats right by the stage, but with a cut off view, but we could see about half the stage so it was fine. But here’s the kicker: the show was in German! Even the songs! It was so strange! I mean I knew what was going on  because I know the movie, but still, it was so weird. It was so cool though, really a once in a lifetime opportunity. Also did I mention it was closing night?? How lucky are we?? Extremely. And after the show, the cast bowed a lot, because it was closing night, but also had a sing-a-long - in English, thank god. And the woman who played the Baroness, waved at me! It was a magical night!

Thinking this trip couldn’t get any better, it did. Sunday was our pre-booked, Sound of Music bus tour! It was a four hour long tour that included multiple stops where the movie was filmed, a bus sing-a-long, behind the scenes fun facts, and the best crisp apple strudel & vanilla ice cream of my life. We saw so many cool things from the movie. It was the best day ever! There were some things I wish we could’ve spent more time at/gone up to see them, but then there were some things that were very cool that I wasn’t expecting! It all balanced out! 

Amazing crisp apple strudel, just like the song! 

The famous Gazebo! Wish I could’ve done the dance.. I was practicing!

All in all, it was an amazing weekend, filled with music, theatre, friends, food, love, and laughter. It was so great to see Devon, and I miss him so much already. We got a taste of what living together was like, and we can’t wait until next year! More adventures to come, I’m sure!

I had the best time in Germany/Austria, and I wish we had more time there! But isn’t it like that with every trip - there’s always something you wish you could’ve done but didn’t get to? 

So, until next time.. (I hope I didn’t forget anything)

Hasta luego! Besos xx