#Not Trying to Say Slurs Arent Harmful - They Are!! The Use of them. Even not at the Minority Group. Normalizes them in the Public Eye. And K

[swanshapedheart]

Poorlittlekoi’s statement

Disclaimer. I, the poster, am not Koi

I am someone putting her thoughts and response to her situation into the public as I was encouraged to do so. I feel it is also necessary to bring this up as well.

I do not want to be affiliated with controversy any further.

——————————————————-

“this whole situation has messed with my head to the point where i cant even send a text to most people without worrying they are gonna leak it or use it against me in the future,, svlvnsore was just bored and found me really annoying shown in screenshot one…. not only that they also called me out for heavily referencing or tracing when they reposted an artpiece thats doing the same thing. Svlvn said they are on my ass because i didnt credit who i referenced, when the person they reposted didnt do the same either proof in screenshot two three and four. Another thing i caught on to is that they SPECIFICALLY said they didnt care that i self harmed or did horrible things to myself when they posted about me. i have anxiety, i overthink! of course im going to do bad things to myself, im mentally unwell. proof in screenshot 5… and for screenshot 6, this is only an assumption, but saying that svlvn "didnt know" is something that really throws me off. when someone makes a callout post on someone else, there will OBVIOUSLY be harassment. thats just my thought, i feel like they knew what they were doing since him and his bf arent very good people either. especially holding onto old dms and gathering them up to use it against me, when they could have handled the situation privately with me, rather than hide it behind my back.

all of this could have been prevented if they handled it differently, and that goes for me as well.

im fully aware im in the wrong, but these people are wrong in some places too. and i want people to realize that.

many artists in tcc trace, reference, all the time. i dont understand why im slandered for heavily referencing something, not tracing. theres proof of an artist doing this FROM THE ORIGINAL ARTIST BTW in my dms right now but i dont get them involved

am i handling this situation immaturely? maybe, but arent they doing the same by harassing me? absolutely.

when it comes to someone being racist/homophobic, people feel the need to harass this person to make them feel worse about what they did. this isnt how you handle a situation. harassing someone to the point they attempt suicide is just as bad as what i did, possibly even worse.

now i have recover slowly until i have the chance to even feel comfortable with myself again. i understand what i said and did was wrong, and im sitting here attempting to change and apologize to the people ive offended and hurt, but throwing that apology under the rug and making it seem like im guilt tripping is ridiculous.

so they cant say i didnt try to apologize, but nobody is guaranteed to accept my apology and thats okay. but putting it out there as if im guilt tripping when im giving reasons why i said it is not even giving me a chance to change

when it comes to growing up with a HUGE racist family, these words and beliefs become apart of my vocabulary and thoughts. its very hard to change that especially when i was always told "its just a word" and i hear it daily! growing up with these slurs has become so normal for me to say it just slips out with no worry, but ofc im seen as guilt tripping when i say this.

its different for each person, i saw a comment saying they grew up in a southern family and they dont say it, but thats them, not me.

people at school and during family events would peer pressure me into saying this slurs multiple times because they found it "funny." i slowly believed that as well.

i was a young teen being taught the wrong things, and seeing other people in tcc say it made me feel like i should say it as well to fit in and be edgy, since thats what the community is like

this situation is another lesson for me to learn, but other people in it need to learn that harassing someone isnt okay, either. especially when im trying to change, it doesnt make it any easier.”

[inuette]

We should gatekeep the shit out of 'queer' from radqueer. They say queer is just deviation from the norm but, as a reclaimed slur for lgbtq+ and lgbtq+ alone, we won't let it be a word to mean pro-abuse and transID (they aren't even gender/attraction related). I know most if not all radqueer are lgbtq+ but the ideology and identities are not.

agreed, queer may have meant "weird/atypical" back then but meanings of words change over time and it hasnt been used to mean that for DECADES, so when you say youre queer everyone will assume youre a part of the lgbtq+ community, which the stuff radqueers defend aren't (not to say they arent queer in some way, just the stuff they claim is queer that isnt.). thats why some people refer to them as prats or radshits or similar. its just an excuse they use to try to defend their harmful rhetoric.

mod 🎠

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

Fuck. Why did the story of the healed femur being the first sign of civilization have to be fake.

But honestly, after reading the article, I have some thoughts.

1. Check your sources. Fucking check your sources PLEASE. I'm guilty of spreading so much info on my blog without checking the sources and I need to do better. But we all gotta do it collectively too.

2. The fact that healed femur bones appears ALL OVER THE ANIMAL KINGDOM means this to me: helping others is ingrained in us, all of us.

Like yeah, the article ends with the idea that we all love storytelling, and sure that's true.

But I think the major takeaway from this is that kindness is innate. Intra-community care is important and necessary for survival. We gotta go extend that care to be intercommunity as well.

This does NOT mean buddy up with people who are adamant to be your enemy. Bigots, Nazis, any of a long list of haters, ists and phobes need to be excluded for the safety of all.

However. We also need to make room for people who have done harm but are trying to repent. Ex Nazis who go through tattoo removals or tattoo cover ups for an example. But the people who have been in those hate groups and are trying to find their way out need us to be there for them because otherwise they will relapse because they are being rejected. This doesn't mean "do not hold them accountable for their actions". What this means is "give them room to grow." It will be difficult and painful, but it's necessary to help them on their journey to be a better person.

We should all strive to be better people. This means listening, trying hearing what a person is actually saying instead of jumping down their throats for using a word incorrectly. Correct them when they use a slur. Understand when someone is reclaiming a slur too, if I use "queer" to describe myself, that is a reclamation. If I use "queer to deride someone else, even if I am queer myself, that is using a slur, not reclaiming it.

Understand that people are imperfect. People will make mistakes, have bad takes, and need education.

At the same time, pick your battles. You, one lone individual, cannot change every single persons mind. Learn where and when to put your energy into convincing someone. Learn when it's a waste of time. Learn about how the words you put up arent just gonna be ready by the person you're arguing with, but also by everyone who is going to see that response.

Also, learn the fact that it is literally impossible to care about every single issue. There are far far far far far too many issues to be aware of, locally, domestically, and internationally. If someone is talking about something important, it does not diminish the important thing you're thinking about. Learn to make space for other issues you don't care about or aren't aware of. You'll find that the majority of people aren't hateful, they're just trying to take care of themselves and/or their family/found family/community in an increasingly harsh world. The majority of the hateful people are being misled. They are being given easy simple shallow wrong answers to an increasing number of hard complex deep questions.

I have no hope nor desire to change the minds of those who feed others misinformation intentionally for the benefit of their monetary gain. Those people are irreconcilable to me because they actively choose to be part of a system of hate for their own monetary ends. The rest? Trying to survive and look for easy answers because those easy answers provided a sense of comfort in the face of, well, life. At least life under the geo-socio-economic-political system we all live and suffer under.

This does not excuse their actions for doing bad things, even if they are misled. But the majority of people who have gone through the work of improving themselves after being a hateful person are the best allies we can ever find. We need to give people, everyone, the room to grow and learn and be better people. It is their job to accept this olive branch and make themselves better people.

[connor6leapfrog]

ohm always stirs things up then claim it is others, like?? bro?? :// idk anymore with this guy

He Really Does.

And Like, I Do Want to Mention. Ohm Mention the Guy’s Past and Like.. Yeah. I’m p Sure Most of them Said Slurs in the past. I’m not gonna Excuse that, Cause it’s not Good. But I’m really not One that Thinks that calling out Someone for Something Not Directly/Intentionally Harmful from Years Ago.

[rantingcrocodile]

Tbh you're being pretty dramatic.

im bisexual myself and its so horribly obvious that we arent oppressed. My muslim parents think bi people are just straight people who are confused. My cousins and friends don't give a shit about bi people because we can just date the opposite sex.

Arabian countries hang and behead gay people, not bi people. Homophobic countries arrest, fine, and beat gay people, not bi people. A bi person won't be killed in an alleyway for being bi. Nor would we be beat up by a gang of people because we're bisexual. Nobody threatens us because we're bisexual. We don't get kicked out of our homes and we don't get bullied into suicide by our classmates. We won't get fired for being bi and we are allowed to join the army. We won't have food, garbage, and rocks thrown at our heads after being called slurs—and we don't even have any slurs. We can get married to someone we love. We can date or kiss someone we love. Nobody says bi as an insult. Nobody says bi like they say h*mo or l*sbo. We aren't sent to conversion therapy to be turned straight.

Nobody hates us, that's a good thing. You should be happy that nobody hates us instead of trying to convince other people that we are hated.

We're fine. Stop trying to play victim here. Bi people arent treated like shit. The people who are really suffering here is gay men and lesbians. All of the mental health stuff shouldn't mean much, because men have higher suicide rates than women and are more likely to get mental disorders, but that doesn't mean they're oppressed, are they? And besides, people typically come out as bi AFTER they get abused or raped, so those things didn't happen to them because of their sexuality.

You saying biphobia so much sounds like christianophobia, misandry, or heterophobia. Why? Because like those three examples, bi people arent oppressed, and there is no need for a word to talk about our non-existent oppression. That word is empty and is starting to get sickening.

It genuinely depresses me that there are bisexuals who write out long paragraphs like this and genuinely don't see the biphobia that they're literally describing while pretending that biphobia doesn't exist.

This is how bad biphobia is and just how much internalised biphobia is.

For those that don't believe me, I'll go step-by-step through this mess.

Tbh you're being pretty dramatic.

I'm really not, you're just used to seeing bisexuals who are doormats and won't stand up for themselves.

im bisexual myself and its so horribly obvious that we arent oppressed.

You're about to be up for a rude awakening, then.

My muslim parents think bi people are just straight people who are confused.

Huh. I wonder how bisexuals who are taught that bisexuality isn't "real" and it's just "confusion" will end up affecting bisexual people mentally?

It's almost like straight people oppress and want to erase everything that isn't heterosexuality, and that damages bisexual people.

I wonder where your internalised biphobia has come from? Right, the people in your life that have clearly spent time telling you that you're "basically a confused straight who can just closet yourself."

Yet you unironically sit there and think that isn't a sign of oppression, right in that first sentence?

My cousins and friends don't give a shit about bi people because we can just date the opposite sex.

"Bisexuals don't matter because we should closet ourselves and pretend to be straight and that clearly isn't another incredibly obvious sign of oppression and harm towards us."

Arabian countries hang and behead gay people, not bi people.

Arabian countries hang and behead people who are attracted to the same sex. Are you seriously going to start pretending that a same-sex couple caught having sex are somehow exempt from being murdered if they say, "Wait a second, we're bisexual!" because no, that isn't how that works.

Homophobic countries arrest, fine, and beat gay people, not bi people.

Please re-read the above to save me repeating myself.

A bi person won't be killed in an alleyway for being bi.

Are you sure about that?

Nor would we be beat up by a gang of people because we're bisexual.

Are you absolutely sure?

Nobody threatens us because we're bisexual.

You only think that because you think "bisexuals just have to pretend to be straight and then that's fine" like that clearly isn't an indication that there's oppression going on.

If we weren't "threatened" and abused for being bisexual, then there would be no fear in coming out, straight people would accept us and we would be able to be in the relationships with the people we love freely, but you're arguing against that and pretending that it's somehow "fine."

We don't get kicked out of our homes

Yes, we do.

and we don't get bullied into suicide by our classmates.

What.

We won't get fired for being bi

You really don't think so?

and we are allowed to join the army.

Seriously?

We won't have food, garbage, and rocks thrown at our heads after being called slurs—and we don't even have any slurs.

I didn't realise that "not having slurs" because of deliberate erasure and invisibility was somehow being "privileged."

The violence out there is real, even if you haven't seen it or experienced it.

We can get married to someone we love. We can date or kiss someone we love.

So you're arguing that the lesbians and gay men living in countries where same-sex marriage is now legal are no longer oppressed?

You're also pretending that there isn't a full range of bisexuals out there, like the bisexuals who are only really interested in the same sex or the bisexuals who don't want relationships. Oppression isn't based on who you're in a relationship with. It's based on straight people wanting everyone to be straight.

Nobody says bi as an insult. Nobody says bi like they say h*mo or l*sbo.

That's meaningless, because that isn't all that homophobia is, and biphobia exists in different ways. Pretending that biphobia isn't real doesn't help anyone.

Like the fact that you think it's somehow "fine" that we're seen as "confused straights." Or the people that treat us like we're predators, whores, that we "ask for" rape and sexual assault because of our sexuality, that we don't have real human emotions, that we can't make real human connections, that we're cheaters, that we're more likely to be criminals because we don't care for others, that we're sociopathic, that we're attention seekers, etc etc etc.

We aren't sent to conversion therapy to be turned straight.

4% of gay and bisexual men in Canada disagree with you, for one.

Nobody hates us, that's a good thing.

You have to be joking, especially when you sent this kind of ask, seeing the statistics and abuse that happens on this blog, where even online in this safe space that are women who will hide or deny being bisexual to escape from harassment.

You should be happy that nobody hates us instead of trying to convince other people that we are hated.

I would love to believe that others don't hate us, but that's simply not true.

We're fine. Stop trying to play victim here. Bi people arent treated like shit.

I'd love to live in that world.

The people who are really suffering here is gay men and lesbians.

"How dare you talk about breast cancer when ovarian cancer exists?!"

All of the mental health stuff shouldn't mean much, because men have higher suicide rates than women and are more likely to get mental disorders, but that doesn't mean they're oppressed, are they?

That isn't even remotely the same. Men have higher suicide rates than women, but women have more suicide attempts because even when wanting to kill themselves, female socialisation has women worrying about who will find them and who will clean up their bodies.

Pretending that "bisexuals want to kill themselves because of their sexuality and the biphobia that comes with that" is somehow comparable to men is just obscene.

And besides, people typically come out as bi AFTER they get abused or raped, so those things didn't happen to them because of their sexuality.

Pretending that that's the truth out of nowhere to discredit bisexuals is downright evil. Like it suddenly doesn't matter that so many bisexual rape victims exist because you've told yourself, for no reason, that we must all somehow have been in the closet, so it somehow doesn't matter.

I was sexually assaulted by a "friend" and her boyfriend after coming out as bisexual and trusting her with that. I felt safe, we drank, and I was assaulted while they put a webcam on, and you have no idea how traumatic that was. I have no idea if there's video of my sexual assault online somewhere. It was 100% because I was bisexual, because they thought that I'd be "up for a threesome" and that it was fine to do all of that to me because bisexuals somehow give consent purely by being bisexual.

That ignorance and evil should make you feel ashamed.

You saying biphobia so much sounds like christianophobia, misandry, or heterophobia.

Bisexuals are oppressed by straight people for not being straight, and you think we're comparable groups? Is that how stupid you are as an individual?

Why? Because like those three examples, bi people arent oppressed, and there is no need for a word to talk about our non-existent oppression.

I can only say that I'm grateful at least that I have more basic common sense and decency than some ignorant, disgusting person such as yourself.

That word is empty and is starting to get sickening.

This ask is exactly why I talk about and prioritise bisexuals, particularly bisexual women, because of just how fucked up and callous systemic biphobia is, and how much it encourages bisexuals to hate and belittle other bisexuals if we dare talk about our experiences and our oppression.

You're so far into the "bisexuals can't be oppressed!" that you parrot homophobes.

How are gay men and lesbians oppressed if they can just be celibate and tell everyone that they're straight, hmm?

No? Forcing a sexuality-based minority into the closet clearly is damaging and shows just how oppressed they are? But somehow, it's different for bisexuals?

Maybe think about how the invisibility of bisexuality means that when people talk about the LGB, it's gay men first, lesbians thrown to the back and bisexuals only allowed to speak if it makes up the numbers.

Maybe think about how, even online and in a so-called feminist space, there are constant sneers about "bihets" and witch-hunts against lesbians who other women are somehow convinced are "secret bis" to discredit them, and even examples of so-called feminists jumping onto gay men talking about how there are gay male predators in their community for absolutely no reason to accuse bisexual men of being the "real" predators instead.

Maybe think about how your entire, biphobic and unhinged rant is balanced on the blatantly biphobic and ignorant, "bisexuals are just half-straight-half-gay" and a denial that our sexuality is a unique and discrete sexuality on its own.

Maybe think about how, even as a bisexual, you don't even understand what bisexuality really is, and then tell me that we're somehow not oppressed.

You literally don't know that bisexuality isn't "really being straight," forgetting that bisexuals are just people who can be attracted to and love both sexes, with a huge variety of individual ways to express that bisexuality, and think that it isn't oppression to demand we're silent and pretend not to exist. Then scoff at the bisexuals that try to do that, who end up being part of the higher addiction statistics, who have lower self-esteem, who are more likely to be domestically abused and raped.

Maybe think about who taught you to hate yourself and the rest of us so much that you think that all of this doesn't matter.

You won't ever change my mind on this because I know that I'm right.

I might be in the minority, but the future will bear me out.

If being confronted with the truth is too much for you, crawl back to the parts of Tumblr that hate you and continue to hope that they decide that you're a "good bisexual." Make sure you parrot all the right things and stay on edge by not stepping a foot wrong. Feel accepted while throwing other bisexuals under the bus, and just pray that they don't eventually turn on you, too.

When you do wake up, either I'll be here or someone else like me will be here, and then remember to have the courage to apologise and make amends for the harm that you're perpetuating against fellow bisexuals.

Until then, you can block me and avoid my blog entirely.

[queerautism]

the whole "ignoring DNIs" thing is dumb as hell. having boundaries doesnt make you untouchable, it cant shield you from criticism and accountability, and certain boundaries cant be completely off limits no matter what.

like holy shit, there is a difference between the completely reasonable boundary that calling people slurs or misgendering them against their will is a scummy thing even if said person is an asshole, and saying that the group that youre regularly attacking and/or invading the spaces of cant ever defend themselves against you, much less be mean about it

which yknow, is most often a result of being beaten down over and over again, being called a horrible person just for your existence, while also having said existence denied at the same time. you cant keep doing that shit to someone and then throw a hissy fit once they snap and throw courtesy out the window. they wouldnt react that way if they didnt have to constantly fight against attacks or sometimes outright misinformation campaigns against them! (btw im using they in the general sense- not specifically rouke or any of its members, but of course it does apply to it. i hope thats ok?)

if you made a DNI that said anti-endos cant interact, we all know that NONE of them would respect that, even if you were to stop interacting with any of them yourself. its lying of the most blatant kind to pretend its about "respecting boundaries" instead of doing everything in their power to silence the voices of the people they hate.

if it was about "respecting boundaries" and "just wanting to keep the communities separate", then they wouldnt be invading every tag or community related to endos and sending hate messages to blogs just for SUPPORTING endogenic systems (even if they arent endo themselves), or co-opting language that was created either for endos or specifically designed to be inclusive of all system types. even among those who *dont* do that (which if theyre a syscourse blog, almost never happens, because of the nature of a syscourse blog), you sure as fuck never see any of them try to intervene or criticise the sysmeds theyre all buddy-buddy with who ARE actively doing that shit, and im willing to bet its just because they agree with it but dont want to get called out on their hypocrisy. like jfc the amnt of times i see them say "we dont support fakeclaiming endos theyre just not systems" even though that like. still very much is constantly happening to everyone who doesnt fit within their limited frame of a "real system", whether theyre talking about an endogenic system or a traumagenic DID system that supports endogenics

if you truly dont support that behavior, then grow a fucking backbone and actually call it out when you see it! if you exclusively save your energy for yelling at endos and endo supporters and making shit up about them, rather than calling out legitimate toxic behavior regardless of the 'side' its coming from- youre a coward who only cares about the propaganda you want to spew, not about actually preventing harm or misinformation. if your asses cant even stop yourself from fucking over DID/OSDD systems (the very same people youre claiming to 'defend') just for disagreeing with you, then why are you even still trying to hide the real endgoal here? i mean we know why, because it doesnt make you look like the "good guys"- i wonder if theres a reason for that.

Yeah yeah yeah agreed on pretty much all counts tbh

[shattered-catalyst]

Intro to OCD for the RPC part 1/?

This is a balmy 6 page document on the VERY BASICS of OCD by a person who has had OCD for over 15 years and knows their shit.

If you want to write a character who has OCD this series is going to be a good starting point. If you dont know much about OCD I encourage you to read it so you can be an ally to those of us who have the disorder.

OCD is made into a cultural joke and when there isnt the ‘Obsessive Cat disorder’ bullshit its an angst off with other people and their non-ocd intrusive thoughts. Its different. Do your research and be an ally.

This will cover the very very basics. The next post will look into subtypes of OCD and how those are experienced.

 Whomst can write it? 

Literally anyone as long as you 

● Do so respectfully and not make a mockery of the disorder and the harm it causes in peoples lives 

● Dont make OCD the characters single thing or boil them down to it entirely ● Do respect the experiences and opinions of muns who have the disorder if they have concerns about your portrayal.

● Dont milk it for angst - unless you have OCD in which case release some of your angst.

● Dont try and say you know what intrusive thoughts are because they have *insert any other neuro a-typical thing here* 

● Dont police how Muns who have OCD choose to portray it. Its our experience not yours. I like to write out my characters OCD as I experience OCD so my experiences are different from other muns. OCD is very diverse in its effects but always ask if you arent sure.

. What isnt OCD? 

● Cleanliness or organization- OCD is NEVER an adjective. 

● Planning/ Hypervigilance/Organized/Methodical 

● Turning light switches on and off, unplugging things (find out more on later time)

 ● “I have to organize my pencils otherwise it bothers me” “ I have to make sure my mattress is straight” “ my nails have to be the same length” are all typical responses from people WHO DO NOT have OCD. 

● Making sure objects are lined up neatly 

● Having things go in a particular order like the letters CDO as the joke goes

● Really loving Cats, Corgis, or Christmas; if you own any of these items i urge you to reflect and also send me 10$ (jk but do reflect)

The Barest minimum 

Google OCD this will be an advanced version of OCD. This will be long but if you want to be aware of others or want to write the character you will read it. 

OCD is made of Obsessions. Triggers. Anxiety, Compulsions/Rituals.

1. Obsessions are the thoughts 

2. Triggers are the object/person/image/situation/smell ETC 

3. The Anxiety occurs is at uncomfortable levels to the point of panic or anxiety attacks

 4. Compulsions or Rituals are performed 

*There is a variant of OCD called Pure O. In this individuals have the obsessions triggers and anxiety but there is NO compulsion or ritual. This is still valid OCD. 

Obsessions are the precursors to the flawed unwanted and harmful intrusive thoughts: 

Im going to use you so you really understand this because its important.If you misunderstand this you are basically encouraging a mental health condition and dont get a sticker for reading this far. 

First check out this link as it has ALL the subtypes and examples. 

Obsessions can be hidden by the intrusive thought and teasing them out can be difficult to do if you have the disorder because well its a disorder okay thats why. It boils down to ‘i could harm someone’ ‘i could cause harm’ ‘ i may have accidentally harmed ___’ ‘ i may accidentally harm’ etc 

This is the flawed powerful belief that predate the Intrusive Thought. 

Intrusive thoughts appear in every brain on earth. They are not special or unusual however intrusive thoughts with OCD get stuck in the brain- meaning they stay there no matter what you do. So yes , they are different from intrusive thoughts in other conditions. 

The thing about OCD is that it latches on to what you hold dear; it may be you are a caring person and love children and animals- your OCD would give you intrusive violent or sexual thoughts or images. These are horrible to experience. They are not welcome nor appreciated and there is no benefit or positive side to having them. 

If say social justice is something you hold dear your ocd may take the form of intrusive thoughts of slurs, jokes, visuals etc. These are horrible to experience and lead to high levels of anxiety and are not positive nor beneficial to have in any way shape or form. 

Maybe you would not harm someone or you value others; your OCD may present as graphic intrusive images or thoughts around poisoning, stabbing,accidental..ly murdering (yeah you read that right), hitting, insulting etc someone else 

I must emphasize this because it is critical that people understand POCD: for the sake of those of us who have OCD read this until its burned into your brain. 

This is the fucked up awful Obsessive thought that you are/were/ or could be sexually attracted to children. This is NOT pedophilia. People kill themselves over this because they are afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true. People isolate themselves and dont have families out of fear of harming a child. People take work in different fields or avoid areas with children out of the absolute terror their obsessive thoughts could be true. This is NOT pedophilia. There is NO attraction present.

Most people who experience POCD intrusive thoughts would rather punch a sharknado than even THINK of hurting a kid in any way shape or form. That is why the OCD does its thing it is like having an abusive brain. 

Again for clarity's sake 

If you value social justice -> the intrusive thoughts violate social justice stuff 

If you value animals -> intrusive thoughts come up with harming animals 

If you care about the protection and safety of children -> POCD 

Triggers would be the situation, scenario, object, person,creature, context etc that is related to the Obsession. It can be literally anything. 

What follows is a hell of a lot of anxiety that can range anywhere from discomfort to full on panic attacks. 

Everyone has different intrusive thoughts and everyone experiences different amounts of distress upon being triggered. 

● As a side bar. Do not ever try and expose someone to their triggers or write about a character being exposed to their triggers as a way to help ‘cure them’ or ‘expose them’ to ANYTHING. What you are doing is literally taking someone with a mental illness and shoving them into a breakdown and thats a piece of shit move. Exposure therapy does exist and is done by professionals TRAINED in ERP. My parents did this a lot and I am positive I am not alone in that experience. 

Compulsions or Rituals: Now you may be saying ‘hey i know what those are’ yeah dude me too and I have had ocd for over 15 years and trained in mental health for 7 and guess what. They teach ya wrong. 

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. 

This can be as passive as ‘i am leaving the room’ ‘ i am checking my body sensations’ ‘ i am trying SO HARD TO HEAR MY HEARTBEAT’ .

 It can also be repeating the same thing over and over. To illustrate this I once mentally chanted the same song lyric line on a 3 hour plane ride because otherwise we were all going to die. I took one for the whole team.

It can be somatic things like counting your heart beats, focusing on your breathing, swallowing, staring and not blinking for so many seconds. 

It can be readjusting clothing until the seams fit. It can be checking god yes checking IK its a common trope but it IS a compulsion that has ruined my life and can be as passive as checking my reality or texting for proof my cat is still alive. It can also be checking yourself for assurance you wouldnt do the intrusive thought or that the intrusive thought isnt going to happen.

Compulsions are mentally painful and sometimes physically painful; 

● Washing your hands with scalding water for 5+ minutes can lead to horribly dry and cracking skin to down right BURNS.

● If you do the same movement you can mess up joints and ligaments. So if you pray constantly you may have knee issues from standing and kneeling.

● If your compulsion has you doing movement against an object ie say gripping and regripping something you get callouses. 

● If you compulsively exercise you may get trapped doing something above a healthy amount or say going from not working out to running a five minute mile and wiping out on a treadmill because your brain demanded it. Totally didnt do that... 

● If your compulsions make you rub against any object you can get friction burns and scars. 

To put this in perspective 15 years of compulsions have left my hands and finger joints a complete mess, damaged my arm tendons, friction scars on my arms that only now faded, and scars on my legs from doing too much of an activity. 

Its not lmao I gotta fix these pencils its real agony and real torture. 

In short compulsions and rituals are not fun they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

OCD disrupts relationships with social components such as ; 

Obsessively checking in with partner/friend if things are ‘okay’ (this feels horrible to do too fyi like you KNOW things are fine but you cant NOT because the anxiety is SO BAD), 

Relationship OCD is a WHOLE category itself! this ties into sexuality OCD where your obsessive thoughts prey on your sexuality (regardless of your orientation), your relationship, cheating or being disloyal etc.

OCD causes significant withdrawal from others, fears of being a monster, intense guilt over intrusive thoughts, disgust with yourself over the intrusive thoughts sometimes leading to self punishment. 

OCD leads to strange behavior which more often than not leads to bullying and ostracization. To exemplify this I have an intrusive thought that I have stolen something when I am inside stores, my check-check-check-check-check-recheck! of my pockets gets me store security called so often its criminal.

OCD limits activities that may expose them to triggers or influenced by intrusive thoughts ie: not being able to take the train to work or only getting off at bus stops with even numbers.

OCD impacts where they spend time, who they associate with, what jobs they take or even if they have a family or not

OCD leads to overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and fear over having intrusive thoughts or images that they experience which causes them to socially isolate or have difficulty in social situations. 

OCD leads to Hyperfixation: like a lot of other things but thankfully it is just hyperfixation and not different from other diagnoses. 

OCD leads to rigidity or structured routines: I have listened to the same CD in my car for 5 years now. Every single day. 5 Years.And Im not okay with that. 

OCD impacts standards we hold ourselves to and others: its like regular perfectionism but like add on 5 extra layers of anxiety! 

OCD according to NIMH statistics 

1.2% Occurrence among US adults 

2.3% Lifetime Prevalence among US adults 

34.8% Of Adults who have OCD suffer moderate impairment to daily functioning 50.6% of Adults who have OCD suffer serious impairment to daily functioning

OCD has strong co-morbidity with the following:

Tourettes Syndrome- is a genetic friend of OCD and if you have tourettes or OCD your chances of having someone else in the family is high

ADHD

Autism 

GAD

Eating Disorders

Depression - this is a big one along with low self esteem because of the intrusive thoughts

Writers like to make jokes about characters “being OCD” well now they have clinical OCD and you should consider fleshing out your character with this information just as you would any other disorder.

Batman (DC)

Riddler (?)(DC)

Domino (Marvel)

 Cyclops (Marvel)

[omegawolverine]

hi hello i dont think we have talked b4 but i would love 2 hear ur craig ND headcanonz :))

hehe hello!! thank you for the asks!! here's my ND craig headcanons aka me projecting onto one of my kins :>

note? ig: im diagnosed with adhd buuuut i probably also have undiagnosed autism and idk how to separate those symptoms tbh so im not gonna be too specific about what's what ig. this truly will just be Pure Projection soooo

let's go!

-was absolutely that one kid growing up that got either "never applies himself" or "has good grades, but issues with socialization" on report cards

-bad at making and maintaining friendships :/

-school probably tested him and was like "yeah there is something here but we arent gonna diagnose bc that means we have to give him Actual Accommodations" and then stuck him in SPED classes which just got him bullied ajsksk

-has bad sensory issues with like. the feeling of skin and the sound of like silverware on plates, it literally makes him wanna peel his skin off. there's other ones obvs but those ones are the worst

-sensory overload makes him incredibly agitated or just downright pissed. gets very snippy but doesn't yell bc yelling feels Weird and he doesn't like it

-cant wear more than 2 layers, cant sleep with more than one thin blanket, it makes him feel like he's being suffocated and having his movement restricted

-always stimming but pretty good at making it unnoticeable, has a lot of normalized stims like playing with rubber bands, leg bouncing nail tapping, cracking knuckles, etc.

-but when he isnt trying to hide it? ohhh boy is he a loud motherfucker, very into stims that involve noise like rolling his r's, doin lil brr sounds, clickn buttons on like remotes and stuff, etc.

-not very good at masking tbh

-mmm echolalia galore

-flappy hands!! lots of flappy hands :]

-stims by hitting the balls of his hands/wrists together repeatedly, is probably one of his most used stims

-has like. harmful stims when he's upset or in pain? like hitting himself, scratching himself, etc.

-has lil dancey stims but only really does them in private or around close friends

-so flipping people off is already basically a stim in canon lbr but imagine he starts doing 👉👈 as a joke and then it just becomes a Default Stim. he jus be standing there and outta nowhere he's goin 👉👈 while having a completely normal conversation

-very bad at reading tone and social cues but he just wont admit it. refuses to ask questions either. leads to a lot of bad situations but he'd rather die than ask for clarification

-if you don't tell him exactly what to do he will just kinda. be confused. like you need to give him a step by step tutorial otherwise he will not do something very obvious on his own just incase he's wrong

-low empathy my beloathed /hj

-uhhh pls dont put him in a situation to comfort someone he will say and do all the wrong things even if he's trying his best

-red racer hyperfixation <3 guinea pig hyperfixation <3

-the most dry texter known to man bc he refuses to have important conversations over text due to Lack Of Tone Indication (his friends would be an exception bc tone indicators pog but still greatly prefers irl)

-its the having multiple swears as stimmy words for me /hj

-walks while leaning on the outside of his feet more than having them like. level? if that makes sense. similar to toe walking but like on the sides of the feet

-dont ask him to read a book he'll either hyperfixate or end up rereading the same page over and over again bc he retained nothing

-very blunt but he's not trying to be mean he just has literally no idea how to Not talk like that

-does a lil high picthed mm sound when happy flapping and usually rocks back and forth with it :]

-will be in the middle of the test and you'll just hear him softly muttering "bonk. bonk. bonk. bonk. bon-"

-that ^ or bababooey

-basically any tiktok sound he hates turns into a stim at some point

-has a playlist just titled "neurodivergent moment" bc he's that kind of person. the first song on it is the home of 47, followed by stupid mf (idk if the person who made the home of 47 ((trolleycat)) can reclaim the r slur but it's used a good amount in the song, stupid mf is just blatantly ableist tho lol)

-*info dumps by tearing apart his favorite media and then gets offended when a NT does the exact same thing*

-calls things ableist when they dont go his way

-has a lot of oral stims like give him anything he can chew on and he will fucking destroy it unless it's made to be chewed

-*sees strings on hat* *sticks end in mouf* *complains when its soaking wet 2 minutes later*

-hyperfixates on a lot of problematic media so he has become the most critical ass mfer when it comes to the shit he consumes

-sometimes he just. screams. bc he can. and he feels the need to.

-has rsd but shhh he'll never discuss it

[just-my-fandom]

The Hidden World (Eret x Haddock! Reader)

So I heard you saw the third How to Train Your Dragon, and I was wondering if I could get an Eret x Haddock! Reader where the reader is the first child and by the third movie, is married to Eret and is pregnant. She isn't allowed to battle the man searching for her brothers Dragon, Grimmel and is put in danger during the last fight

Characters; Hiccup, Astrid, Tuffnut, Ruffnut, Fishlegs, Snotlout, Valka, Eret, mentions ofk Stoick, Grimmel, The Light Fury, and Toothless

Warnings; SPOILERS FOR THE NEW MOVIE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Dt: @theperksofbeingafangirl2

This story is a long one. Have fun reading!

________________________________________

"Where could it be?"

You watch with a frown as Hiccup runs a hand through his dirty brown hair, his fingers trailing over the map on the ground,

"Dad has searched high and low for the Hidden World. Are we sure its still there?" You ask your younger brother, who looks up at you, watching you poor a cup of tea and place your free hand on your large bump,

"I promised him I would find it. I just need to do something to make him proud," Hiccup sighs, and blinks as you sit down next to him, hand at his shoulder,

"Hiccup, there is nothing you can do that could make Dad more proud than he already was of you. You're chief for heavens sake," You explain,

"So are you," Hiccup raises an eyebrow, and you laugh warmly, a laugh you've inherited from Valka,

"Yes, but only because Im first born. Im not as great of a chief as you are," You wink, looking up at a creak from the flooring above you,

Smile dropping, you set down your cup, Hiccup rising to his feet and pulling out his flame thrower,

"Who is it? Its the middle of the night," You speak quietly, Hiccup raising a hand, then spins around, weapon drawn,

"Awe, how cute," A figure steps out from the shadows, eyes training on you as Hiccup helped you stand, arm out in front of his older sibling, "Like brother like sister,"

"Grimmel," You breathe, Hiccup glancing over, "Who?"

"Eret told me of him. The one who kills night furys," You run your hand down your stomach, Grimmels eyebrows raising with realisation,

"You're the famous wife who married a past dragon hunter? So stupid I must say. You're the first child of Stoick the Vast, you must set an example to your people!"

You clench your jaw, Grimmel holding up a dart. Hiccup quickly stands in front of you, blocking you, but the dart is instead impaled into Toothless' sleeping form across the room

"Toothless!" Hiccup shouts, teeth baring as he looked back at Grimmel,

"What do you want with us?"

Grimmel laughs, loudly, "I want your dragon. I want them all!! Ever since I was little, Ive killed dragons bigger and smaller than me. Youve got no chance against me boy,"

"Really?" Hiccup presses his fingers to his lips, sharply whistling, five forms jumping out with weapons, Fishlegs sitting up with a fake dragon mask and slurring his words, seeming he was hit by the dart instead,

"We got you," And he falls forward, out,

Grimmels laugh lowers into a dark chuckle, snapping his fingers to alert his own poisoned controlled dragons, "No," His eyes lock with yours, "I got you,"

Two dragons bust through the wood of your home, spitting out green venom that spread through the walls and erupted in flames,

"Everyone retreat! Get out of here!!" Hiccup stumbles back, swiping at a dragon, and you turn around, pushing past a table to rush across the room,

Flames envelope into a blockade in front of you, the red reflecting off your orbs, stomach tightening in fear,

"This way!" Valka takes your arm, leading her daughter to the left, outside of the burning building,

You look up, gasping, scanning the town of Berk to see every home sizzling to the ground,

.         .    Meanwhile at Town Hall       .        .

"Can everyone please be quiet!?"

Your scream brings silent to the town hall, every viking and dragon stopping to stare at the first child of Stoick,

"Yes, we are all scared, terrified even, because Grimmel now knows the amount and types of dragons we hold in our possession. But we cant fight out of fear. We fight out of the thought of loosing everything we battled for in the past, our dragons. Our home,"

You lower your head, inhaling, "When Hiccup and I are gone later in the past, we all know my son will be the one stepping up. Dont do this just for us, but for the sake of Berk and my father,"

Vikings murmur in agreement, Valka smiling softly, where you nod once, and sink down into your seat, "We'll be moving momentarily to a hidden island my brother and I found on the coast not too far from here. It'll keep the dragons, and all of you safe,"

You run a hand through your hair, sighing heavily, Hiccup putting a hand on your shoulder and squeezing,

"Let me take care of the rest. You need a break, the stress isnt good for the baby,"

You look up at your sibling, putting your hand on his and squeezing back, smiling gently,

.               .          Hours later           .           .

"Okay okay!" Hiccup laughs as the group under him lunge him into the air, catching him easily and pushing him up again, "I feel more sick than joyful,"

He is put down, dizzily grabbing onto Gobbers arm and covering his mouth,

"Heh heh," Gobber snorts, "At least your not your sister, getting sick for the past seven months straight,"

Hiccup rolls his eye's, just as your form moves past him, calling for your mother as she landed Cloudjumper, jumping off and anxiously looking around,

Hiccup watches at the two women meet up, Valka pressing her hands to the bump that held her unborn grandchild, looking up at her daughter,

"Are you harmed? Your brother?"

"What?" You breathe, "Mom, we're okay. What did you see?"

"We're being followed," Valka alerts, "Grimmel is still out for us,"

"Well what are we doing here? We need to go stop him and get it through his head thats hes not having our dragons," You snarl, Valka waving a finger and shaking her head,

"No ma'am. You are staying here. You're going to be a mother soon, you need to rest, and care for the baby whether he's arrived yet or not. Your husband can agree with me,"

You frown, turning to Eret for help, but he crosses his muscular arms and moves his eyes to you,

"Your mothers right, Y/N. I'll have Skullcrusher here with you, and take one of the other dragons. But you cant go with us, its not safe,"

"But its safe for you to go," You rub your temple, nodding and clicking your tongue, "Got it. My child could lose his father but what does that matter,"

You move away, walking towards the hut made, tapping Skullcrushers nose and directing him to follow you,

"Y/N," Eret calls in a sigh, Valka waving him off, "Its the side effects of pregnancy, dear. You should know this by now,"

Its mere four hour later before talking is heard outside, your form leant against Skullcrusher as you sung to your stomach, your own dragons head laid in your lap,

The huts curtain pulls open, Eret stepping inside, removing his armor and wincing at the burns and cuts on his arms and chest,

"You look terrible," You attempt to heave yourself up, Skullcrusher leaning his head against your back to brush you to your feet, "What happened?"

"He expected us there," Eret removes his shirt, revealing a wound across his lower stomach, "We were attacked and almost trapped,"

Your eyes scan his toned chest, hand brushing the bruises littering his chest and shoulder, before gliding your hand to his face,

"But you survived, thats all that matters. Come sit down and let me clean you up," You usher, Eret placing his large hand over yours and wrapping his fingers to envelope your small hand,

"I'll be fine. Why arent you resting?" He whispers lowly, "You need sleep,"

"Stop thinking about me for once, I wont die," You huff, thumb brushing his jaw, "Let me take care of you,"

"I know a couple of ways," Eret presses his lips hot to yours, that curled upwards as you laugh warmly and press your hand to his chest,

"Nice try Romeo. Go sit down while I get the aid supplies,"

Your husband narrows his eyes, chuckling as he slides away and sinks down to sit next to Skullcrusher,

"Were you at least able to find what he wanted with the dragons?" You sit down on Erets lap, bump pressed to his stomach, and you dab a wet cloth to his busted lip,

"Hes not too fond of Toothless and the Light Fury Hiccup talks about," Eret runs his large hands over your stomach, under your shirt to get as close to his child as he could, "The other dragons are just of use for a certain venom that can control them,"

"That sounds dangerous, and something my brother would want to get into and stop," You sigh, running the cloth down his neck to his shoulder,

Eret hisses at a pierced cut, that burned as you dabbed it. "Easy," You soothe, and put your hand over his that rested over your bump, "Easy,"

"You're going to be a great mother," Eret speaks up, and you smile after placing a bandage at his wound, looking up to meet his eye's,

"And youre going to be a great father," Leaning forward, you slowly link your lips to his, his hand sliding in your hair as you both smile, before he pulls you against him and (Dragon/Name) is pulling a blanket over you with their tail,

. . The Battles Over . .

"You've had to deal with us long enough Bud," Hiccup slides a hand over Toothless' head, the dragon closing his eyes and purring, "Now its your time to go, and be with her,"

Toothless opens his eye's, confusion flickering, then looks over at a child wail,

Walking past the crowd was the first born Haddock and Eret, a bundle of blue held in your arms,

Your eyes were blood shot red, most likely from the labor, but a smile would not leave your lips as your dragon slowly leaned in, sniffing your son,

Your dragon presses their snout to (Sons/Name)s foot, then purrs as they lick your cheek lightly,

Skullcrusher scans your child, noticing how he had somehow inherited the slight gene of Stoicks hair, but had Erets eyes and your nose and face,

"We're living our life," Hiccup whispers to Toothless, "Its time to live yours,"

Toothless had pulled away from his rider, inching towards the sister of the chief and (Sons/Name)s cries had stopped at the sight of the Dragon, a squeal causing Toothless, your dragon, and Skullcrusher to jump,

You laugh softly, free hand rubbing Toothless' snout, and you lean against the dragon,

"Its time for you to start your own family Buddy. Where they'll take after you and continue your job," You look down at your son, a tear slipping down your cheek,

"The same goes for the rest of you,"

Eret slides his arms under your child to take him into his grasp, so you could unclip the saddle from your dragon and slide it off their back,

You caress her head, nose to hers, and you sniffle, "I'm going to miss you,"

(Dragon/Name) whimpers, and you pinch your eye's shut, hearing the clicks of every Viking undoing their dragons saddles,

"Go," You slide your hands away, (Dragon/Name) blinking before glancing at Skullcrusher, and they both jump up, flying to follow the rows of dragons,

Toothless looks back, watching you slide your hand your mouth, Eret wrapping an arm at your shoulder and placing his hand at your head, lips to your temple,

You walk up to Hiccup, arms throwing themselves around his neck, his own wrapping at your torso as he silently releases a sob, fingers clutching at your back side,

Toothless frowns, but lunges off, disappearing in the clouds above,

"We're going to be okay," You open your eye's, orbs glistening as your dragons roar is heard in the distance, "We always are,"

The End

A/N: DID I DO IT RIGHT?????

[hitorinbo-envy]

Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicizeif you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson

parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good

parent pulled on my hair to force me to move

parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me

parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them

parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them

parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body

parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them

parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping

parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life

parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries

parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say

parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat 

parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me

parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture

parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once

parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice

parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun

parent insulted and devalued something really important to me

parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me

parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once

parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault

parent shamed me for my physical appearance

parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough

parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all

parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults

parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort

parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms

parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness

parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter

parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst

parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them

parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away

parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change

parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change

parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation

parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy

parent assured me that nobody will ever want me 

parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse

parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker

parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”

parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time

parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries

parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge

parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence

parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything

parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks

parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start

parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy

parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument

parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it 

parent threatened to leave me

parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did

parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions

parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation

parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof

parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me

parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did 

Neglect

parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly

parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick

parent didn’t notice I was injured

parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school

parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma 

parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed

parent didn’t notice I was depressed

parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself

parent didn’t notice I was suicidal

parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused

parent didn’t notice I was being bullied

parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed

parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care

parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive

when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

parent made me feel ashamed for needing money

parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them

parent only gave me minimal money to survive 

parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me

parent took the money I earned from me

parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)

parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions

parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything

parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves

parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not

parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity

parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age

parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

[royalrastafariannaynays]

i’m a dirty rotten ace inclusionist, and here’s why

so against my better judgement and some advice from friends, ive decided to make a post about ace discourse

because it just kinda... hurts to see shit about it every day. and i feel like a broken record saying that, but it hurts. 

if youre reading this, and youre an exclusionist, please read the entire thing and don’t come storming into my inbox to tell me hurtful shit because odds are, ive seen it already and im sure im not gonna cover everything, just some of the stuff ive seen today

So, me. ill tell my story even tho no one asked for it, because unfortunately on this website people demand proof of person in order to give someone validity or some shit. im asexual. and i stick to that, because i don’t really experience attraction or arousal at all. that changes sometimes, but rarely. im genitals-repulsed as well. but i am still intimate with my partner sometimes, and sometimes i force the candle to light, because idk i get bored. 

but when i figured out i was ace, i was texting my best friend. and he suggested it, and immediately i felt broken and wrong thinking about the fact that i could be ace. I had to be convinced that it was okay. that’s something that non-ace people dont seem to get. not feeling sexual, or sexual about other, real people, can make you feel broken. it makes me feel like shit, and i have some dysfunction with partners as well. i have trauma in my past, but im convinced that doesn’t have too much to do with it. And maybe it’s a temporary thing, and ill change in the future. But that doesn’t change the fact that it makes me feel like less of a human being when i think about it. and i have no doubt that the idea has crossed other ace peoples’ minds before. “am i broken?” i ask my girlfriend that question so much. because my body doesnt do this thing that both science and the modern media and society tell me that it should do, and should do very easily. my FAMILY tells me its weird and ill be fine. my FRIENDS don’t get it. my mother thinks it’s horseshit. and there’s another thing.

i kinda feel like, if someone is gonna go excluding ace people and shoving them out, will i be shoved out for being closeted, or straight-passing when im not with my girlfriend, as well? it’s a legitimate fear and it feels really bad. and then, can you imagine how it feels having a portion of my identity actively shat on by this website? every fucking day of this month? the pride month?

another thing that non-ace people dont seem to understand or consider, either, is the dysphoria that ace people experience. ace people frequently hate their bodies, feel like they don’t belong in them, or feel separated from normalcy by what they are. 

it’s not a “whose suffering is worse” game, though we can still understand that people face greater harm and trials in their life by being different parts of lgbt, and allow people who suffer less, like say people who are closeted, bi or pan people who are “straight passing” dating the opposite gender, etc, to be a part of it. in my experience, lgbt+ is about acceptance and love, and ill stick to that. yes it’s possible to recognize that say, a trans woman would suffer more than a cishet ace. but that doesnt mean that one should be less allowed to be a part than another.

“ace people aren’t oppressed” well no maybe not to the degree that the typical lgbt person is, but around the world people are forced into obligatory sexual situations they may or may not want, and if they refuse or cannot perform, they can be labeled as broken, thrown out of their home, or r*ped. there is social pressure from the intensely sexual modern media; there is social pressure from society and family; there is social pressure from significant others and partners to perform, and then, especially for women, there is pressure to accept things, and there is pressure to perform sexually in order to have a happy life; IE: having children, families, satisfied partners, and so on. no, these aren’t as significant outwardly as “getting stabbed to death for existing” ((which yeah, does happen, but is an extreme example that someone i know loves to use to win arguments by playing the manipulative “of course this means you care less about the human lives of gay men than the thing you’re arguing for” card. im not saying that situations are equal here, jesus, im saying that oppression exists in many forms)). and, for a society where sex is a function that bodies easily perform, it seems easy enough to go along with things. But for some people, bodies either do not or will not perform. or there is repulsion, or other things and i lost my train of thought. got distracted, my apologies

ace people might be cishet, yeah, but that doesnt mean they belong any less in my opinion. no, i dont think they should be able to call themself qu**r, thats stupid. they aren’t allowed to reclaim any slurs that dont belong to them. that’s also really fucking stupid. and im sorry, but no decent person will try to do that. and why not let them come to the club, okay? they still face problems. like i say maybe fifty billion times in this post, yes, they don’t face the same problems, but they still have them. 

“start your own community” where? how? if you can give me a legitimate answer on this without frothing at the mouth, please do. But i have no idea how ace people are going to go into starting a community without being ridiculed, shoved aside and stuff. i have no idea how they are all going to bond and meet over a lot of different pipelines of communication, like the ones in communities they are already a part of. shoving people out, putting a stake in the middle of the cracks in the floor, it does nothing to strengthen our community. 

“well this person treated me badly” yes and that exists everywhere on this hellsite. I’ve seen a lot of shit, im sure you have too/

the split attraction model, in my opinion, is useful. but mainly for ace people, or aro people, to make describing themself easier in a shorthand. that’s what the model is best for. and if you come into my inbox and say stuff about how “someone forced the split attraction model on me” that was an individual person and does not lend to the usefulness of the model. and then if you come into my inbox with something about “the split attraction model harms people who arent ace and lets people deny their sexuality”. it is a tool. no one forced you to use it. im certainly not saying everyone should use it. in fact, maybe a lot of the people who do use it, should not. but i like the split attraction model, especially for myself. because i can easily identify and people know what im talking about. that simple. 

okay, that’s all i wanted to say. i wish i had a concrete conclusion but i am just. really tired. i need to unfollow some people. i just wanted to get it off my chest, and say my peace in a place i can find it. again, sorry for my mobile people

[sweettpea-blog1]

Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson

parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good

parent pulled on my hair to force me to move

parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me

parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them

parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them

parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body

parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them

parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping

parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life

parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries

parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say

parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat

parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me

parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture

parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once

parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice

parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun

parent insulted and devalued something really important to me

parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me

parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once

parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault

parent shamed me for my physical appearance

parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough

parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all

parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults

parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort

parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms

parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness

parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter

parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst

parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them

parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away

parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change

parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change

parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation

parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy

parent assured me that nobody will ever want me

parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse

parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker

parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”

parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time

parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries

parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge

parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence

parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything

parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks

parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start

parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy

parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument

parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it

parent threatened to leave me

parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did

parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions

parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation

parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof

parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me

parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly

parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick

parent didn’t notice I was injured

parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school

parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma

parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed

parent didn’t notice I was depressed

parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself

parent didn’t notice I was suicidal

parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused

parent didn’t notice I was being bullied

parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed

parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care

parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive

when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

parent made me feel ashamed for needing money

parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them

parent only gave me minimal money to survive

parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me

parent took the money I earned from me

parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)

parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions

parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything

parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves

parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not

parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity

parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age

parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!

[quasarsturncoat]

[[VANAHIEM a small but lush jungle planet located in the middle of its vast star system. A dwarf world, with uninteresting flora and fauna. Very few know where it is, let alone the name of the back water planet. It has no known inhabitants, but a mystery surrounds the slightest energy signature it gives off. Few observing parties have traveled to this planet, only hearing of it by word of mouth, and those who have landed have mysteriously disappeared, never heard from again.]]

SIRIUS: =It sounds like a great place to explore! But really Sirius is somehow drawn to the place, the feeling that she must be there. It was a little different from when she felt she must be somewhere; this separated desire from the pull and despite it all, she was tentative regarding what little stories she had heard from it.=

SIRIUS: =Taking the necessary precautions taught to her time and time again by her parents, Sirius cut the power to her engines after she had broken through the atmosphere for minimum noise, turning her ship into a glider. She would only to turn them on again once she was prepared to land.=

SIRIUS: =After perching Red Comet in what was hopefully somewhere isolated, she locked up her ship with voice and fingerprint controls to where the ship's computer responded.=

COMET: "Valediction: Be safe, my friend!"

SIRIUS: (hehe i always am er...i always try)

[[She happens to land in a quiet clearing, the only noise seems to be bird calls echoing from the tall trees above. Its a gorgeous day, the sun is shining bright, and the humidity is not TOO terrible. The skies are so clear, not a cloud can be seen. Except... perhaps the wisps of chalky smoke puffing into the sky from a far distance. How odd.]]

SIRIUS: (right)

SIRIUS: (that seems the obvious direction to go)

SIRIUS: c:

SIRIUS: =and making sure she had a couple foodstuffs, some water, and the weapon she never had to use in real life, she's off!=

[[Its a few hours of walking to get closer towards the source of the smoke. She must leave the clearing and move through a dense location of jungle to get to it, but the further along Sirius goes the more easy the path seems to become. As though its been cut down and pruned over hundreds of years, so the jungle just parts ways for the traveler. Eventually she will stumble across the source of the smoke, a small, sealed hut that is oozing smoke through cracks and a chimney. Its a food smoker.]]

SIRIUS: =She is accustomed to rough terrain and easily able to trek through it. She notices when the path becomes easier and it has her on alert. Nothing really to worry about, right? However, when she finally came across to small structure to see it was not a settlement as she has initially guessed, she turned from it, her eyes skimming over the rest of her surroundings. Maybe heading right for the smoke wasnt such a good idea after all=

[[It is somewhat strange for the smoker to be here, on an unpopulated planet, running on its own without any obvious supervision. It seems to be powered by a beat up, small generator.]]

[[Its really quiet now, just the noise of Sirius moving, and the hum of the working battery. Oh, and now a whistling sound. That gets higher and higher pitched like its getting closer until OH would you look at that!! A red smoke gas grenade landing just a foot from her location!]]

[[BOOM! It goes off and quite suddenly this cleared out area is filling up with over powering, noxious fumes!]]

SIRIUS: =SCREECHES in a surprised yelp!! She first backpedals then stumbles away from the gas grenade, using the long legs of hers to make a quick escape. However, she couldnt prevent herself from inhaling some of it and began coughing and wheezing, trying to breathe through her glove to filter out the air.=

[[That gas is rather potent stuff! Its meant to render those who inhale it unconscious, so Sirius at the very least will start to feel a bit dizzy from breathing in some of it. As she runs, the jungle around her springs to life and there are at least four figures rushing after her through the haze of smoke and gas, however they are protected by identity hiding old fashioned gas masks! They arent chasing Sirius to offer her a spare though, they've got spears and swords in their hands.]]

SIRIUS: =She is able to get a little ways out due to her overall stature, but the effects still took its hold and she brushed against the trunk of a nearby tree to keep her balance. She was still trying to breathe in some normal air and lifted a hand toward the figures, trying to show she didn't mean harm.=

SIRIUS: (no...please)

SIRIUS: =Even in her state, she stumbled into a run again, when she saw them continue their approach. Avoiding them the best she could, Sirius ran.=

[[The pursuers pay no mind to her pleading and spread out, following Sirius not only from behind but now coming up on her sides. Its clear they know the terrain very well, and if she wants to avoid them she is going to have to keep forward on a very specific path. And in another three hundred yards, there is a gathering of ferns and undergrowth that hides a very specifically placed net trap that if stepped on will ensnare and lift its unfortunate victim high up into the air.]]

SIRIUS: =welp, her next plan is out. Unless she can get to a tree quick enough to avoid them. If not, she reluctantly follows the path they have set for her. Along with her blurring surroundings, there's blurry pictures in her head about something(?) lying in wait among the foliage just ahead. Once she gets close enough, she makes a desperate (and messy) leap through the air to try and clear it.=

[[She JUST makes it. For the most part anyways. When she lands it triggers the trap and the very edge of the netting snags her foot. while its not enough to pull her into the air and keep her there, it will at the very least trip her up long enough for the hunting party of four to surround her on all sides.]]

[[They stand around her, blocking off exits, and in complete menacing silence.]]

SIRIUS: =She tumbled horns over heels and landed hard on her side. Her movements were much slower now and she pulled herself up to rest on an elbow while the other hand gripped at the dirt underneath her, lifting her from the ground. She managed to get one leg beneath her and staggered to her feet again. The movement itself made her want to fall back down again, and she held out an arm to steady herself.=

SIRIUS: =Desperate to find another escape route, Sirius glanced above her. Were there any low lying branches she could reach? She wasn't even sure she could make them if there were. Her vision had blurred to the extent she couldn't see straight and Sirius shook her head, trying to refocus.=

SIRIUS: =However, she can tell that she's going to be unconcious soon and this scares her shitless. But as scared as she is, she still doesn't want to hurt anyone and raised her arms defensively=

SIRIUS: (im ssssssorry ill just go) =Her own voice sounded distorted and slurred to her ears as she swayed dangerously in place.=

SIRIUS: (please let me go)

[[The hunters look between themselves and whisper in words that are probably lost on Sirius's hazy mind. And while she sways and rocks unsteady from the effects of the gas one of the gas mask wearing pursuers steps forwards from the ring, closer towards Sirius and removes their mask.]]

[[Underneath is the face of a human woman, older in age and with a scar crossing over her lip. Dark skin, dark hair cut close to her scalp, and the deepest brown eyes you have ever seen. She somehow manages to scowl down her nose at Sirius, despite being almost two feet shorter then the troll.]] CARRIE: -Sirius may not be able to understand her if she can hardly hear her own voice, but she does speak with a rather commanding tone.- Fear not young maiden. No harm will come to you. While you rest.

SIRIUS: (mmphg) =she says intelligently, her arms still shielding her.=

SIRIUS: =Swaying on her feet a little more, Sirius collapsed in place, the effects of the gas finally overcoming her conciousness.=

CARRIE: -The last thing Sirius will see is her blurred form moving towards her when she falls.-

[[When Sirius wakes up she will find herself laying on a cot in a small room. There is some natural light coming from the setting sun that is filtering in through a small window that is barred to prevent anyone climbing through it. The rest of the room is bare except for a small table nearby the cot that supports a glass of fresh water, and there is a grass curtain that hides a very simplistically made "Bathroom" (if it can be called that) There is a wooden door, with a slot, that leads out of this room, but if tried Sirius will find it to be very firmly locked. Sorry Sirius you are in jungle jail.]]

SIRIUS: =her legs are likely hanging off the cot tbh=

SIRIUS: =She jolted awake, her head still throbbing. Slowly, she stood and took in her new area of temporary (hopefully) residence. Creeping to the bars, she peeked out of them, trying to get a glimpse of outside before she tried ripping these bars out the wall.=

[[Sorry no dice! The bars are well stuck in place. What Sirius can see outside is what appears to be......... (Drum roll) ....... LAUNDRY!! Tubs of steaming, sudsy water sitting outside and hanging damp clothes.]]

SIRIUS: =She pats herself, looking for her sylladex. Did they take it? What about her jacket? It was a bit flashy...being red and piratey...and all...=

[[She still has the clothes she was wearing, but her sylladex has been completely emptied out of all useful items like weapons, spare parts, food, electronics, music and extra clothes.]]

SIRIUS: =needless to say, this upsets her. She doesn't care so much about the food, but she's had her weapon since she was a wiggler. Karkat and Terezi had taken her to the UU's armory and told her to pick whatever she liked - she began training that day. Also in her sylladex were all of her most recent personal notes, journals, and captain's logs! There were photos of her family, her entire life! It was a treasure trove of personal information, she might as well have had her social security number in there too! This was bad.=

SIRIUS: =...holy shit, her starmap was in there too. Yes, it was locked by a very specific code, but the very thought that something incredibly dangerous might have fallen into the wrong hands gave her a fright.= SIRIUS: =She swiftly moved to the door and tried it. She might as well. Upon seeing that it was locked, she searches the room for anything else useful, like any intelligent person in Escape the Room games. She eyed that glass of water but did not touch it. It might be spiked with truth serum. She's heard the stories of the UU's own adventures.=

[[Photos and journals have remained within her sylladex, however perhaps not in the same slot they were before. Her star map was indeed gone though. The water is not laced or spiked, but asides from the glass there really is nothing to be seen or found.]] [[Not too long after Sirius starts looking though, scuffling and muffled voices can be heard outside the door.]]

SIRIUS: =dashes across the room as fast and as quietly as she can and hides behind the grass curtain (ie the "bathroom")=

[[The noises get louder and then the slot on the door opens up and out comes a small platform that hooks to the opening, and then moments after that a tray of mashed tubers and cold slices of smoked fish are provided.]]

SIRIUS: =Pokes her head out from behind the curtain, eyeing the food.= SIRIUS; =she cleared her throat=

SIRIUS: (thank you)

?????: !! -Someone speaks from the otherside, not having expected to hear a thank you. First timers rarely ever thanked people who brought food.- Oh!!!!!!!! Well you Are pretty welcome hAhA........

?????: -Whoever it is cant see Sirius from this angle.-

SIRIUS: (its not)

SIRIUS: (poisoned is it)

SIRIUS: =she's still in the bathroom, but leaning partially out to see if there is any way she can see who she's talking to.=

[[The only way to see whoever it is would be to go all the way up to the door and take the food out of the slot.]]

?????: Nope its cleAn!!!!!!!! If it wAsnt A lot of people would be in A bAd way, heheh

SIRIUS: (oh)

SIRIUS: (then i guess i should thank you again)

SIRIUS: (hehe)

SIRIUS: =the person sounds nice...And they didn't kill her when they had the chance, at least?? so Sirius climbs out and knelt on the ground to take the food. Her gloves are a vibrant red, like what only a couple of people wore on the UU.=

?????: -They are pretty nice! Thanks for noticing.-

?????: -When Sirius goes to take the food the voice on the other side of the door gasps a little.- Oh!!!!!!!!

?????: Those Are cool gloves

SIRIUS: (oh thanks) :D

SIRIUS: (my lusii had them made for me from pupation silk) =In her attempt keep from giving information, she only give more. oops=

?????: Oh mAn thAts reAlly neAt your lusus must be reAlly cool

SIRIUS: (yes hehe) =she nibbles a fish, peering through the hole=

SIRIUS: (you seem really friendly so i think there has been a misunderstanding) SIRIUS: (i was led to believe this planet was uninhabited) SIRIUS: (needless to say i now know it obviously isnt)

????: HAhAhA yeAh crAzy right? I thought it wAs too

????: Turns out its ActuAlly crAwling with people........ -She happens to think Sirius is very friendly! And through the hole she can see the knees of whoever is outside because she is also sitting for this lovely chat. Its clearly a troll at least.-

SIRIUS: =she perks at this=

SIRIUS: (how did you come by here if you mind my asking)

????: I dont mind At All

????: I cAme here........ like I think several months Ago???????? MAybe A yeAr????????

????: Me and some buddies I mAde were looking for cool cAmping spots And we heArd About this plAce from An old trAveling guide in A hostel

????: Thought it would be A cool experience you know???????

????: Well A few hours After we lAnded And set up cAmp we get Ambushed And well Im guessing its pretty much the sAme story As you

????: Dont worry though it might be a rough Adjustment At first but this plAce grows on you!!!!!!!!

????: Its pretty much A second home to me now

SIRIUS: =behind the door like D8=

SIRIUS: =it takes a moment to sink in= (a-adjustment) =???=

????: -Well someone had to tell her.- YeAh Adjustment!!!!!!!!

????: You're in quArAntine right now just to be sure you dont hAve Any serious diseAse or contAgious conditions but in 48 hours you'll get out And be Assigned to A job given A plAce to sleep And new clothes

SIRIUS: =this has gotta be a joke...=

SIRIUS: (haha...)

SIRIUS: (what if i like my clothes)

????: Oh you get to keep whAt you Are weAring now!!!!!!!!

????: But you'll be given more

????: Although if you hAd more clothes with you I cAnt promise you will get the sAme ones........

????: We kind of recycle outfits here, And pool together new clothes found And mAde And distribute them where they Are needed

SIRIUS: (hhhhh) =She doesn't mind losing a couple t-shirts and pants. If they take up her jeans, it would literally be a drag, but maybe they can make dresses from her shirts? who knows how far they've gotten with them by now. Hopefully they hadnt found her ship just yet, since she intentionally ran the opposite direction.=

SIRIUS: (um)

SIRIUS: (thats very nice)

SIRIUS: (but i mean no offense when i say i cant stay here)

SIRIUS: (this was supposed to be a day trip see)

SIRIUS: =now the gears are turning to where her things might possibly be kept. Maybe she can convince this girl her star map is a bowling ball=

????: ........................ -She is silent for a time. Its always the worst to break the news to newbies.-

????: Sorry to be the one to tell you but there is no eAsy wAy off this plAnet

????: There Are hArdly Any ships And they belong to the "seArchers"

????: HArdly Anyone gets to use them unless Approved by the ChAncellor And I've never heArd of A Newbie getting permission

SIRIUS: (if its a secret problem i promise i wont tell anyone you guys are here) =there is slight desperation to her voice=

????: Sorry its not me you gottA convince........

????: The high dignitAries Are reAlly serious About not letting Any word About this plAce off world

????: But its reAlly greAt here honest Asides from the whole mAle slAvery thing they hAve going on this plAce is kind of pArAdise???????

????: Food And pArties And this greAt sense of community

????: Once you Are one of us you Are ONE of us your neighbors will do just About Anything for you

????: -See its not all bad!! Shes doing her best to ease Sirius's worries.-

SIRIUS: =CHOKES on this fish=

????: !!!! -Oh dear-

????: Are you okAy in there????????

SIRIUS: =wheezing!!=

????: Oh jeez........

SIRIUS: (but i cant i have a job and a family and friends and...)

SIRIUS: (and people who will worry)

SIRIUS: =truth be told, she's gone for months at a time. She doesn't know when people will realize something isn't right=

????: -A sigh can be heard coming from the other side of the door.-

????: ThAt is kind of Another downside of this plAce isnt it,,,,,,,,,,

????: Sorry I wish I knew A better wAy to help you

????: If it mAkes you feel Any better I know how you feel

SIRIUS: =there's the sounds what appears to be the start of panicked breathing on the other side, but--=

SIRIUS: (you)

SIRIUS: (youre trapped here too)

????: Hhhh well!!!!!!!!

????: TrApped is kind of A word I try to Avoid

????: More like,,,,,,,,

????: I wAsnt expecting to be living here but now I Am

????: I'm mAking the best of it And its not too hArd to do

SIRIUS: =is freaking out a little bit=

SIRIUS: (trapped is exactly the word i would use)

????: -She is really bad at this whole comforting thing isnt she..-

????: But thAt sounds reAlly negAtive And is just going to bum you out if you keep thinking About it

SIRIUS: =tinest and softest sob=

SIRIUS: (i cant stay here)

SIRIUS: (it means ill be stuck here for all my life)

SIRIUS: (i wont be able to go anywhere ever again)

SIRIUS: (theres so much i havent seen yet)

SIRIUS: (what will my family think)

SIRIUS; (i went somewhere and never came back)

SIRIUS: =the way she's talking, it sounds like she's been told she's about to die=

SIRIUS: =it's true, in a way=

????: (Oh geez)

????: Um!!!!!!!!

????: Hey its okAy!!!!!!!

????: Its not so bAd!!!!!!! You'll be okAy its going to be okAy

????: It feels reAl bAd right now but give it time!!!!!! -Ahhh how do you make someone feel better about not being able to ever see their families or go back to their old lives again?? Oh god damn it now SHE is feeling sad too.-

????: HAhAhAhA....... MAn you Are stArting to mAke me A little homesick

SIRIUS: =through muffled crying= (its because youre trapped here) =!=

????: -AW JEEZ-

????: Fffffffffff---

????: Um!!!!!!!!

????: There there??? Its okAy????????

????: Hey whAts your nAme????????

SIRIUS: (whats it matter)

SIRIUS: (boo hoo hoo)

SIRIUS: =then even softer=

SIRIUS: ((my name is sirius))

SIRIUS: =starts to cry again= (i have two sisters my dad was a therapist on the uu and my mom was its communications officer shes now a lawyer and works with government reform on alternia))

SIRIUS; ((the academy just titled me and ive just fucked it like an asshole))

????: .............................................................................. -There is so much silence coming from the other side of the door it is unreal.-

????: S-........S-Sirius????????

????: Sirius Pyrope VAntAs whAtever????????

SIRIUS: ..........................................

SIRIUS: =There is nothing beyond the door now. No sobbing, no whispering, nothing. She's gone silent too.=

SIRIUS: =After ten thousand years (more like ten seconds), Sirius quietly shuffled forward and peered under the food slot at the friendly also-trapped person she'd been speaking with.=

????: -There are already eyes down there peeping and waiting for her to do the same. -

HELENA: AAAAHH Oh my god it IS you!!!!!!!! -WHAT ARE THE ODDS???-

HELENA: Sorry Im yelling but WOW????????

HELENA: This is crAzy

SIRIUS: =her eyes get sphrical when at last she SEES and briefly she doesn't even mind the yelling because she's doing some herself!=

SIRIUS: (helena holy shitballs!! what are you doing here??!)

SIRIUS: (nevermind you already told me that!!)

SIRIUS: (oh my god???)

HELENA: YeAh I did!!!!!!!!

HELENA: Im!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!

HELENA: How hAve you been

SIRIUS: =she's just amazed and has flipped from sad to happy in a nanosecond= (ive been good! i mean as good as one gets here hehe) =She lifted a hand, gesturing the room=

SIRIUS: (how long have you been here???)

HELENA: I think its been like........ mAybe Almost A yeAr????????

SIRIUS: D:

HELENA: Uh oh -Frowns a little with concern- AAAAh pleAse dont get upset AgAin

SIRIUS: ((thats so sad....))

SIRIUS: ((did they take your comms devices))

SIRIUS: ((have you tried escape))

HELENA: They did for A little while yeAh,,,,,,,,

HELENA: And by the time I got it bAck it wAs Almost deAd bAttery wise

HELENA: Not thAt it mAttered this plAnet hAs no interstellAr service

SIRIUS: (how did you get here to begin with)

SIRIUS: (did you come in your ship)

HELENA: Like I sAid before I cAme here with some guys I met up with At A trAvel stAtion And when we lAnded BANG

HELENA: Took our stuff And our ships And I've been here since........

HELENA: But hey!!!!!!!! Get this I'm A fArmer now HELENA: And AppArently A greAt one heheh they dont hAve Any other communers here so Im bAsicAlly the best livestock keeper plAnet side -She beams about this information.-

SIRIUS: (helena um thats great you like your job) SIRIUS: (i think) SIRIUS: (but if youre right that its been a year) SIRIUS: (no one knows where youve been) SIRIUS: (for a year)

HELENA: I mAAAy be over exAgerAting I dont know I've kind of lost my sense of time here its been A while since I've thought About it HELENA: MAybe like........ two thirds of A yeAr HELENA: Over six months or something

HELENA: -Trying to make it sound better for Sirius-

SIRIUS: (...) SIRIUS: (what was the date you went camping)

HELENA: Ummmm HELENA: It was eArly June. First week of it mAybe????????

SIRIUS: (im afraid to ask what year)

HELENA: -Scoffs- okAy I hAvent been here THAT long

HELENA: It wAs still this yeAr HELENA: Unless new yeArs hAs been A thing

SIRIUS: :c SIRIUS: (it has) SIRIUS: (todays the sixth)

HELENA: .................Oh

SIRIUS: =awkwardly looks at the dirt= SIRIUS: (happy new year) =?=

HELENA: HAh........ YeAh hAppy new yeAr -Forces her smile back up. Boy... What a day.-

SIRIUS: (...come with me) SIRIUS: (lets get out of here while we still can)

HELENA: Huh?

HELENA: WhAt do you meAn?

SIRIUS: (i mean lemme out so we can go home)

HELENA: Oh!!!!!!!!! HELENA: WAit how???????? -80- HELENA: Not how do I let you out but how do we go home????????

SIRIUS: ((how do you think i got here)) SIRIUS: c:

HELENA: CArrie and her troops brought you here -DUH Sirius-

SIRIUS: (hhhh) SIRIUS: (i mean before that) SIRIUS: =she lifted her hands up to mimic steering= SIRIUS: ((nyoom nyoom))

HELENA: OH!!!!!!!! HELENA: Mmmghhhhhhh Sirius I dont know even if they didnt find you with your ship they Are probAbly out looking for it right now HELENA: Unless they've AlreAdy found it........

SIRIUS: (no no helena) SIRIUS: (you mustnt think that way) SIRIUS: (i have it locked up) SIRIUS: (they cant get in without my hand and my voice)

SIRIUS: (we need to stay positive) SIRIUS: :'o

HELENA: You sure???????? HELENA: WhAt if we just wAit HELENA: You'll be out of quArAntine soon And then we cAn try tAlking to CArrie HELENA: She might even be Able to get you A meeting with ChAncellor AnnAeA!!!!!!!! HELENA: The ChAncellor is pretty fAir who knows she might let you go home

SIRIUS: (will she let you go home too) SIRIUS: (what about the others who came with you) SIRIUS: (where are they)

HELENA: Hmm well TrAcy left to work the north outpost two weeks Ago HELENA: And I hAvent seen the two boys since we got Ambushed........

SIRIUS: O_O

HELENA: YeAAAAhhhh........ 8888(

HELENA: Hmmm

HELENA: How sure Are you that your ship is still there????????

SIRIUS: (i dont know but i still have to try)

SIRIUS: (also i) SIRIUS; (have a hunch its still there) SIRIUS: (for now) SIRIUS: (hopefully)

HELENA: -Hhhh she isnt really sure how she feels about this plan. But Sirius is a friend and she wants to at least try and help her. So after a few moments of silence the sound of locks being opened sound and then the entire door is being opened a crack.-

HELENA: We got to move quick

HELENA: Do you think it would be possible for you to find your wAy to your ship on your own????????

SIRIUS: (but)

SIRIUS: (what about you)

SIRIUS: (what about your friends)

SIRIUS: =she placed the tray gently on the table and slipped through=

HELENA: -She quickly shuts and locks the door behind her and looks around to be sure no one saw. The hallway they now both stand in is short, and the exit is not far down the end of it.-

HELENA: Well I meAn

HELENA: I wAs thinking I would stAy here And mAke sure you hAd enough cover to get bAck to your ship 8888I

SIRIUS: 8|

SIRIUS: (no) =???=

HELENA: Oh........

HELENA: Well I kind of AlreAdy put thAt plAn into motion by letting you out

SIRIUS: (now that i know youre here im not leaving you helena)

HELENA: Hgghhhh but Leslie is About to hAtch her bAbies

SIRIUS: (i...)

SIRIUS: (im hazarding a wild guess leslie is a chicken on your farm)

SIRIUS: (she can come too)

HELENA: Leslie is A beAtle bovine 8888)

HELENA: PArt cow pArt some sort of insect thing she's greAt

HELENA: She lAid A clutch of thirteen!!!!!!!!

SIRIUS: (oh)

SIRIUS: (she sounds pretty cool)

HELENA: YeAh shes reAlly greAt And is going to mAke A greAt mom

SIRIUS: (im sure she would)

SIRIUS: (if you dont want to leave her behind we can figure out a way to transport her)

SIRIUS: (we can pick tracy up too)

SIRIUS: (and the others...they didnt die did they) =?=

HELENA: ................Nghhhh I dont reAlly know if they did 8888(

HELENA: All guys go strAight to center city for processing

SIRIUS: (where is that)

HELENA: Well we Are in the outside villAge juts beyond the wAlls

HELENA: Its a reAlly eAsy wAlk And you cAn go through the gAtes And see the big mArket plAce for trAding And the council members live there its reAlly cool

SIRIUS: (i dont suppose theyd let me waltz in there)

SIRIUS: :c

SIRIUS: =She's pressing her back flat against the building, feeling a little more anxious now=

HELENA: Well sure you cAn 88880

HELENA: Any citizen is welcomed in Center City

SIRIUS: (hrk)

HELENA: -Chin hands at her while still standing up.- You don't sound convinced 8888T

SIRIUS: (im supposed to be in quarantine for the next two days)

SIRIUS: (right) =?=

SIRIUS: (i dont went to get you in trouble)

HELENA: -Nods- Yep!!!!!!!!

HELENA: Its just to mAke sure you Arent sick with Anything thAt is going to cAtch with the LegAcies-- OH!!!!!!!!

HELENA: Does this meAn you're thinking of mAybe not trying to get off plAnet yet 88880

SIRIUS: (i dunno ive never been sick) =wrings her hands looking around= (im thinking about reconsidering our strategy)

SIRIUS: (it would be easier if it was you and me but your other friends are scattered and we dont know where some of them are exactly)

SIRIUS: D:

HELENA: YeAh thAts true 8888(

HELENA: Its A big plAnet

HELENA: Oh but hey!!!!!!!! If you stAy here, just for right now, mAybe I cAn try And find your ship if the scouts hAvent found it yet

HELENA: And then if I do I cAn hide it so you cAn still get off world lAter

SIRIUS: (yeah that would be goo-)

SIRIUS: (we)

SIRIUS; (so we can get off world later)

HELENA: Oh right we

HELENA: WhAt did I sAy???????? 88880

HELENA: Well whAtever it wAs yeAh "we" hAhA

SIRIUS: ...

SIRIUS: =looking at Helena all concerned-like=

HELENA: -Shes smiling until Sirius starts looking concerned, shes just really happy to see someone from the UU.- WhAt

SIRIUS: (are you um)

SIRIUS: (planning)

SIRIUS: (to come with me)

HELENA: If we cAn get off world then sure 88883

SIRIUS: =hhhhhhhhh's in relief=

SIRIUS: (that is a thing i promise will happen)

HELENA: -Sirius is great-

HELENA: Heheh

HELENA: OkAy

HELENA: Well if we Are going to wAit I kind of need you to go bAck into the room Im the only "guArd" tonight but thAt doesnt meAn no one is going to come this wAy

HELENA: Also if you need Anything you cAn AlwAys just Ask Anyone As long As its reAsonAble you should be Able to get it

SIRIUS: (oh yeah it would be a bit awkward wouldnt it if anyone saw me out here)

SIRIUS: (if you can please check where the boys have gone)

SIRIUS: (if theyre still alive they couldnt have gone far right)

SIRIUS: (or there would be signs that they were no more) :c

HELENA: I cAn totAlly Ask Around And see whAt I cAn find out!!!!!!!!

HELENA: No worries Sirius Im on the cAse BBBB)

SIRIUS: =her smile broadens=

SIRIUS: (we can figure this out)

HELENA: Yesssssssss -She then moves aside and opens the door to the room so Sirius can go back in-

SIRIUS: =ducks her head so she wont bonk it on the doorframe as she reenters, smiling=

SIRIUS: =she hold out her fist for a bmp!=

HELENA: -SHE BUMPS IT.-

HELENA: I'll stop by tomorrow before I go feed the AnimAls sleep tight Siri!!!!!!!!

HELENA: -She then shuts and locks up the door again before walking away.-

SIRIUS: =Soft voice from behind the door= (see you around helena)

[lastoneout]

You know the more I read the notes on this post the more I feel like everyone is missing the goddamn point. I never made any claims about the oppression that a-spec people face, all I said was stealing our terminology and acting like it is a slur or an attack is immature and harmful. I used other comparisons that do have to do with oppression, but overall all what I was trying to say is that a-spec people NEED a word that means "not us", just like trans, disabled, neurodivergent, jewish, and autistic people need one. Being called allo isnt an attack, it doesnt hurt you, it's just like saying you don't need glasses or arent a girl scout. It is just to differentiate between us, a-spec people, and you, a non a-spec person.

And this really does go to show that even when a-spec people "follow the rules" that exclusionists try to force on it our communities are still torn apart by them. For some reason by the virtue of being a-spec we must bend to the will of exclusionists and aphobes who want nothing more than our complete destruction. Words like squish and QPR and zucchini are called cringey to the point that we can no longer use them without being mocked. Words like allo are labeled as slurs and stolen so that we have no way to describe our community. Our symbols are somehow either cringey or harmful so we can no longer take pride in ourselves for fear of being targeted.

Like what more do exclusionists want. Y'all fucking won! A-spec people have had our entire culture destroyed and have been driven so far underground and taught to hate ourselves because our identity is somehow harmful just becuase it exists to the point that when my LGBTQ+ support group welcomed and respected my asexuality I fucking cried.

We followed the rules. We hid, we built our own private communities far away from prying eyes. Yet time and time again we have those spaces invaded and torn apart and our words and culture destroyed and turned into memes in the name of protecting Good Pure Gay people. And it just goes to show that what exclusionist truly want is our complete and utter destruction. They dont just want us to go away to our own spaces, they want us to go away completely. And taking our culture, language, and symbols is a great first step.

Allo is a value neutral term. It is not a slur. It is not an attack. It is not harmful. It is the same as cis and abled and neurotypical. It just means not us. And exclusionists can't even let us have that.

The people who claim "allo" is a slur and try to reclaim it by making blog titles like dirtyallogay and put filthy allo in their bio sound exactly like the people who think cis is an evil word that trans people made up to oppres gay people. If you can understand why words like cis, neurotypical, straight, able bodied, and allistic are important you can understand why allo is important.

[godofpugs]

Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson

parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good

parent pulled on my hair to force me to move

parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me

parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them

parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them

parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body

parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them

parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping

parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life

parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries

parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say

parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat

parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me

parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture

parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once

parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice

parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun

parent insulted and devalued something really important to me

parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me

parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once

parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault

parent shamed me for my physical appearance

parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough

parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all

parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults

parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort

parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms

parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness

parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter

parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst

parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them

parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away

parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change

parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change

parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation

parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy

parent assured me that nobody will ever want me

parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse

parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker

parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”

parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time

parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries

parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge

parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence

parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything

parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks

parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start

parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy

parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument

parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it

parent threatened to leave me

parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did

parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions

parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation

parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof

parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me

parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly

parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick

parent didn’t notice I was injured

parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school

parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma

parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed

parent didn’t notice I was depressed

parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself

parent didn’t notice I was suicidal

parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused

parent didn’t notice I was being bullied

parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed

parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care

parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive

when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

parent made me feel ashamed for needing money

parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them

parent only gave me minimal money to survive

parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me

parent took the money I earned from me

parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)

parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions

parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything

parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves

parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not

parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity

parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age

parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!