#None of them fit with the other they make me so mad. and then astro and astrid here are in Factory and not Avalonia even tho they would fit

[zeepobeepo]

Zeepo jumpscare

One day Tumblr will hear about my actual hatred for LBP2 for its story (not the levels in the story, (except Avalonia, that's actually garbage) just the story.) and costumes. Until then enjoy some concept costumes I made to satisfy my annoyances with the costumes of LBP2 mostly not fitting the theme they're found in. (And Victoria's Lab for fun because her costume set is so good and makes so much sense ily Victoria ❤️❤️)

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: How Santa Stole Christmas! or Scrooge is kind of a dick

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everybody! Christmas begins on this blog with the last new Ducktales of the season! Time to break out some eggnog, presents and warmth of good family, i’ve got a bushel of Christmas reviews planned for the season, and this one is just the start of htem. As you can probably tell by my enthusasim I love this holiday. Oh sure it has it’s bad sides, paticuarlly several jackasses making huge deals out of the fact some people say happy holidays because “there’s a war on christmas” when really their just petty morons who can’t accept theirs more than one holiday in the month and not everyone likes christmas. I do, but I know not everyone does, and that’s fine. But overall it’s a fine holiday with warmth, cheer, family, generosity and of course, what brings us here today, really damn good episodes and specials of television. It’s just a really warm and cheerful time that , whlie it can bring out the absolute worst in people.. can also bring out the best more often than not. And that’s why I love this holiday. If you don’t that’s just fine, but it’s my blog, I can love what I want. And I love this holiday.. and I loved this episode, a good end to a great run of episodes. So let’s rock around the Christmas tree and find out why Scrooge hates santa, this is How Santa Claus Stole Christmas!

We open with the classic night before Christmas poem.. only naturally since Della is reading it to the boys, it’s Scrooge’s version involving barbed wire and calling the man a traitor because what honestly did you expect. Though I find it ironic a man introduced in a Christmas story has a one-sided blood feud with Santa. The boys are annoyed with this and just want free presents and the presecne of a jolly fat man and don’t get why Scrooge hates him. And yeah.. all of that tracks. They were raised by Donald who, while he clearly spent several years at Scrooges tolerating this feud, likely figured the Feud was just some personal gripe of scrooges and that Santa had done nothing that terrible. Which given Scrooge isn’t personable on the best of days and the episode goes out of it’s way to point out Scrooge has no friends, is entirely accurate and Donald was, as always the sane one in this situation. Plus he was already mad at Scrooge, this was just another way to tell him to go fuck himself. 

The boys hear what they think is Santa on the roof but turns out to be Scrooge, in full Scottish war garb manning traps with webby.. in full chimney camo... putting a knife to Dewey’s throat for siding with santa.. well okay pointing at his throat but still god damn. Every now in then i’m reminded how ready Webby is to murder someone. It never gets easier or less disturbing. The boys.. continue to make a good point: Scrooge says he’s the richest duck in the world and can provide them whatever.. but being Scrooge just gives them itchy hats made of cheap fabric, and bemoans them wanting a trampoline, a new electronic game, and a new phone. And while Scrooge can give them whatever he wants, it’s his money, he also could’ve put some actual thought into it and clearly views the holiday more as a transaction and less for hte acutal sentmient. Instead of giving them personal mementos, or making them personal mementos, or even just simply building them a sled or something, a simpler toy than what they want but still something nice that comes from the heart.. he just gave them the cheapest hat he could find and tries to guilt them for not liking his thoughtless present he probably bought in bulk for everyone in the manor and his employ because he’s kind of a dick sometimes. IT’s good storytelling though as it sets up that Scrooge.. can possibly be int he wrong, so when the main plot comes to his front door, quite literally, there’s some doubt as to wither he or santa is in the wrong. Speaking of which Santa is at the door. So cue the credits and cue the cut for the rest of the plot as is usual. Full spoilers, and full plot under the cut. Ho ho ho. 

First a quick comment on the Holiday version of the theme, the same one from Last Christmas! IT’s really good, a really nice frank sinatra style verison of the theme. Good stuff. My only real complaint is like last time.. there’s nothing unique about it, it’s just the normal season 3 intro but with snowflakes. And that’s.. more on Disney than the creators. If Frank and Matt had the option they would likely do an entirely original intro.. it’s just Disney can be cheap when it comes to intros, see how possesed ludo stayed in the star vs intro long after that plot point was resolved, and only affords one a season. That being said they still have one up on most networks, who, with the exception of Netfix with she ra, never really let intros change more than once, if at all. I mean I get it, budgets are higher here than with anime, they can’t do a new song and intro every half a season.. BUUUT it wouldn’t kill more stuidos to do this more often and do a complete intro overhaul, as it adds freshness, and you can still use the same old theme, just over a new set of pretty images. Most just allow a few swap outs, Disney included, and while I get intros are expensive, this is something you can use for a whole season, or more, why are you like this? 

Anyways one theme song and me complaning about an animation trend I don’t like later, we’re inside the Manor with none of the other adults present because this season hates me. I do actually get it this go round: Besides Della, Donald and Launchpad getting a full subplot in the other holiday episode, they aren’t really needed. In fact most of the episode’s present day is a framing device for the tale of how Scrooge and Santa met and why Scrooge hates him, so for once the minmal use of the supporting cast.. is actually done well. The focus is on Scrooge and Santa, a feud that’s had four years build up in real time, and two years in series and a bunch of months. So yeah, i’m okay with sidelining everyone for once, because this story really needed all of the space and there was no real place for them aside from the climax. This is Scrooge and Santa’s story, with Webby there as an impartial-ish observer. We’ll get to that in a moment.  Also if your curious where in the fuck this episode fits on the series massively warped time scale.. i’m going with this and “The Trickining!” taking place before season 3, since “Astro Boyd” takes place in march, and “Forbidden Fountain” takes place in probably late april, huge thanks to a friend on discord for help with the timeline. Otherwise it just makes no sense whatsover and while it dosen’t TECHINCALLY need to, I prefer the series timeline at least making some rational sense. The world dosen’t have to but time still does. So the boys are at least 12, possibly turning 13. Congrats. Or maybe they just don’t age. I dunno. 

Now time and plot concerns aside, Santa gladly gives the boys their gifts which is.. everything they listed: A mini tramp for Dewey, Legends of Legend-Quest 2 for Huey, and another phone for Louie, which Scrooge dosen’t get. But Louie gets it on 2 levels: One, the one he asked for is probably a nicer model and as someone who just got a very marginally nicer model on insurance, I get it, even if like Scrooge i’m fine as long as mine works, it’s still nice to have more space to do shit. And two, he plans to sell the old one and keep the money. So yeah the boys already loved Santa but now they have every reason to since, you know, Santa actually gave them what they asked for and Scrooge gave them itchy hats because he’s cheap not because he put the slighest thought into it. And no i’m ont letting him get away with that: Again, off list, perfectly fine. Right behind me on my sprawl of book shelves is Weird Al’s biography, a really fun, really intresting book with photos on his career. I did not ask for it, but my mom rightly knew I would love it and got it for me for my birthday, which is very close to christmas, the 16th if you were curious, anyway, and I’ve treasured it since.. and really need to re-read it. My point is you CAN get someone something they didn’t ask for and still have it be something they LIKE. I did that for most of my christmas gifts this year. Scrooge just, as I went on about above, didn’t give a shit and was a bit callous about it so yeah, Santa wins this round.  But Santa naturally needs Scrooge’s help to save Christmas because his ankle’s sprained and he’s out of options. Scrooge.. naturally refuses because, as i’ve made clear this and past episodes, he can be kind of a dick and Santa is one of his worst enemies in his mind. Why help him? So Santa, reluctantly, offers Scrooge the one thing you can get for the man who has everything: An agreement to leave his house alone. The boys aren’t happy about it, but Scrooge reluctantly agrees to the deal. They prepare to mount up though the boys aren’t invited, as Scrooge thinks their too far in the Santa camp and Scrooge does not trust him. Which again is both accurate and fair on their parts as again, he gave them things with well meaning and love, he gave them hats he fished out of the dollar store clearance bin. I mean at least go for the dvd’s and blu rays man. Yeesh. Santa does lightly buy them off by offering them another present if their good boys. Though honestly given Santa in this universe, he probably was going to anyway and this is his nice way of getting them to stay behind to make Scrooge happy. 

So as they take off, while Webby is wary of Santa, she is curious what happened, especially since earlier Scrooge actually did finally voice his gripe, if without any full length explination: Santa took Christmas From him. And Della might know that, Scrooge likely didn’t tell her or Donald the full story and Donald rightly didn’t buy it was that one sided. And it isn’t as we’ll see. Since the episodes divided up into two storylines, i’m once again splitting the difference. This time though I would like to mention the story is beautifully woven in, with both complementing each other: there’s some legit suspense as we wonder if Santa did something really that bad or if he’s lying to webby, or if Scrooge being Scrooge was just exaggerating or holding onto a grudge that was partly his fault. It’s genuinely well done to build up the story and helps really flesh Santa out as a character in both stories. i’m only not doing that because my short term memory, while good enough to hold the story for now can be spotty, and this is a lot less taxing on it. Also parts of this segment happen before the boys leave, but it’s easier this way. Sooooo... 

Times Past: Santa’s Worst Christmas Some time ago... seriously I don’t know. Scrooge was born in the 1800′s and Christmas well existed by then, to the point there’s actually a story starring young scrooge published over seas. Granted the Duck’s are no stranger to christmas, as I already covered Christmas on Bear Mountain for Scrooge’s birthday, and will be covering “A Christmas for Shacktown’ sometime this December. It’s just something worth noting. But given this universe can do whatever it wants, having it invited sometime in the early 1900′s or late 1800s is fine just fine. 

Scrooge is a coal salesman, selling people what they need but getting no shelter as he’s, again, an ass. But in the depths he finds Santa, whose having trouble puling his sleigh, and gets them in the previously closed door with kindess and saying he’s with me. We now get an idea of who Santa truly is: a kind, selfless soul who thinks nothing of himself, and is happy to offer a gift in exchange for something, but does so only in the most well meaning, warmest way possible. In short this Santa really is.. what Santa is at his best in stories; a kind, generous man who just wants to make people happy. He just gave a gift not because he wanted to bribe his way in, but because he was genuinely hoping for some shelter and wanted to be greatful. It also shows that clearly, even if something did happen.. Santa probably isn’t evil. A twist still could’ve come.. but spoilers.. it dosen’t. Santa is genuinely this kind and self sacrificing and noble. He’s just a good person.. and that would ultimately be the problem but we’ve got a lot of subplot to cover.  So Santa parties with what are clearly going to be his elves, and turn out indeed to be elves at the end when the fire goes out and Scrooge is suddenly in buisness.. and he and Santa make a great team, as Santa talks him up and says he can deliver a whole year’s worth of coal all over the world by Christmas Morning, so Christmas DOES exist here, it’s just Santa didn’t which kind of tracks. Well played. I’ll keep my earlier mistake in there though. Keeps me fresh. But Santa offers to help.. after all what are friends for? And Scrooge says their not friends.. their partners. 

And Santa says why not both. And a friendship is forged. And it makes sense.. while i’ts not as tight as it will be, Santa is a warm generous guy who helped Scrooge multiple times just to be kind: He helped him find shelter to repay his kindness helping him.. then helped him sell his coal, when he didn’t have to and while he upsold him on what he could do, did so not out of malice, but so his friend could sell MORE and with eveyr intention of helping. And this friend is someone he just met, is kind of cranky and rude.. but as we all know is a good person underneath and to Santa.. that’s what he sees.. the kind young man who helped him pull his sleigh when he didn’t have to and was already cold and miserable. And that.. that just warms my heart a lot.  But Scrooge being Scrooge has a mystic artifact that could help: The Feliz Navidiamond, a mystic artifact that can seemingly control time he got off a  spanish sailor needing coal. The two head in but encounter it’s guardians. The Magic reindeer! And that’s part of what I love about this episode: besides really getting christmas, we’ll get to that, it has a creative and intresting Santa origin baked into the show’s mythology that also shows off an intresting part of Scrooge’s past. Santa manages to pacify them with jingle bells and our heroes head inside.  In the cavern they find a Giant Snowman.. because this show is fucking awesome and Santa’s attempt to be nice bacfires but Scrooge’s natural paranoia and gumption pull through. It shows off why they make a good team: Santa’s niceties helped them with the reindeer, and netted them future transportation, while Scrooge’s natural grumpus tendencies help when nice just won’t do it. They work well together: one’s a showman and the other hasn’t learned how yet, one is nice the other naughty. It’s easy to see why they worked so well together.. in both senses. They make it past the Snowman and find that the diamond slows down time running on “christmas time!”.. seriously a great pun and one of many this episode. This show had a chance to go all out on holiday puns this go round and they did not blow it. 

But... sadly... and obviously the good times can’t roll forever and when we next return to the story it’s a year later. McDuck and Klaus coal is a MASSIVE concern, and Scrooge is eager to get started... but Santa.. wants to just give gifts instead. To do something Generous. Buisness just isn’t in him and he just wants to do something kind. It’s.. not a bad goal.. i’ts just not Scrooge. To Scrooge it’s a betryal of all he stands for: foreswearing profit to give something for nothing for seemingly no reason and to a younger even meaner scrooge.. it’s an utter betryal.. and a breaking point. Either his daft presents idea.. or Scrooge. And why yes this episode is dripping with ho yay and why yes this does resemble his painful breakups with goldie. And why yes is glorious.. Imean I wasn’t shipping Scrooge with santa before but now? Hot damn. But yeah the two have come to a parting of ways, and Scrooge bitterly leaves, while the elves reveal themselves. And my heart hurts “The Empire Builder from Callisota” bad so thank you and fuck you show.  It also probably shows why Scrooge has exactly one friend, who also works with him so it’s complicated, in present day: He just dosen’t want to let people in... and now we know WHY. The first genuine friend he made, the first person he let into his heart.. betrayed him. It’s no wonder it took decades for Beakly, then the kids to get into his heart again: the guy’s been betrayed by goldie, in his mind betrayed by santa and as we’ve seen his own dad turned against him eventually. He had no one for so long, he built a wall all around him but the wall was too tall and it blocked out all the birds and the son. But this .. is a really damn good story that fleshes Scrooge out and explains his hardness. In the comics it was Glomgold.. here.. it’s much more personal and cuts much deeper. And I absolutely love it. This story could’ve neatly fit into life and times if it made any sense in Rosa’s timeline, and it would be just perfect there. 

PRESENT DAY: Concentrated Awwww

The present day plot is a lot simplier but still fantsatic: Webby slowly warms up to Santa depsite herself.. despite Scrooge clealry seeing she is.. she sees the man is just.. nice. He gives her a new crossbow, a really nice one she probably didn’t even expect to get given you know, everything and knowing scrooge, and appricates the sentiment and slowly sees the man isn’t some monster, but just a jolly old fat man who wants to give presents. Even Scrooge seemingly warms up a little.  We also get tons of cameos during delivery, as they visit tons of supporting cast.. sadly no Darkwing.. but this one was clearly meant to go anywhere and is clealry set before “Let’s Get Dangerous”, but tons of other great bits: We get the Drake recidence with Boyd getting a present.. and somehow also doofus whose filled his stocking full of.. something. I don’t want to know and you can’t make me ask. You can make me ask why the fuck Doofus gets a present, but it could be filled with bees or maybe Santa truly thinks theirs good in him.. which .. yeah tracks. I mean not their being good in him.. I think dr. loomis said it best.. I mean it was about micheal meyers but.. same diffrence minus the patricide?

I mean points for trying though Santa, you mean well you loveable bear in both senses of the word you. But anyways other cameos include Fenton, alsleep with his armor strewn about, aww, with the gizmo armor set to hit people with fruit cake. Thought that was against the geneva convetion but alright. Scrooge’s been hit with worse. We also get them visiting the boat and giving Donald and Della presents, awww. And of course I saved the cameo I put up top for last as Webby visits her closest friend and her gilfriend and gives both an adorable cheek kiss. Though only Lena reacts.. probably because this isn’t the first time Webby’s snuck into their bedroom at night but probably the first time it hasn’t been accidently creepy because she’s still learning boundaries. Also i did not realized they shared a room. Aww. Also it’s the first time we’ve seen their room, which as you’d image from a sorceress and a magical researcher/bookworm, it’s a massive sprawling library from what we see with a skull with a candle in it, a picture of a house, and a calender. IN short it’s perfect and i’m glad we finally saw their room. 

So yeah things are going well and Webby finally realizes “Shit Scrooge is the bad guy in this scenario” at the end of the story, realizing Santa was just as hurt by the split as Scrooge was and that he had to make the harder choihce for the right reasons. Unfortunately, as i’ve said a lot this review, SCrooge is a dick and only coperated, as he wasn’t using the magical present sack, but his own filled with Coal to teach people about responsiblity. Thankfully, Scrooge realizes he’s been a dick to the globe when he happens upon little Jeniffer, a small pig girl who mistakes him from santa and takes his coal, meant to warm her fires.. and makes it into a doll. And resists his attempts to take “Coalette away”... Scrooge then rants and .. we actually get a good reason for why he’s being such a douche... as a kid he had nothing, and a gift of coal for his fires would’ve been welcmoed. He simply just.. dosen’t get the frivolity. He gets the warmth and joy of the season but not the gift part. And it’s only seeing this small, innocent child, play with a doll, he realizes “A warm heart can keep you going through the coldest nights”. And it’s then he finally realizes why his old friend did what he did.. because as i’ve been saying the real gift.. is in the giving.. of giving someone something that makes their memories glow and their heart warm. Even a lump of coal can do that in the right hands... a toy can get someone through the roughest times and it’s the WARMTH of the gift you remember, not the gift itself. I remember that book I mentioned proudly.. as do I remmeber the copy of the art of the venture brothers right next to me, or the copy of the people’s doonesbury my best friend mike bought me, and so on.. not because of the book itself... but because of the thought and warmth of someone getitng something for you because they care, not for their own reward, but just to make you feel nice this holiday season. That’s the true spirit of christmas.  Naturally realizing the errror of his ways in true christmas story fashion, Scrooge is devistated by his own actions. And Santa is PISSED.. but Scrooge is now regretful.. if also pissed because Santa stormed in there and it turns out this was all a ploy to get his friend back... which destroys Scrooge’s anger as he realizes just how much his old friend missed him and how many years he wasted lashing out at him when , in the end, Santa was right. So with only so much Diamond power left, and time running out, what can they do to right this? Simple, Scrooge suggests splitting resources. 

So we get a glorious shot of the three boys, and the twins riding  the reindeer. Also we get Launchpad! 

Who naturally wonders if he can crash a reindeer while Beakly thankfully stops him from murdering Dasher. So Christmas is saved and Scrooge and Santa exchange gifts: For Scrooge, a set of bells with their old company name.. and for Santa? a garage door opener. While Santa’s confused turns out.. it’s to turn off the traps. He’s welcome any time.. just use the front door. Cue a big hug, and Webby narrating us out as Scrooge wishes everyone a merry christmas once again letting people into his heart.  I have.. the approirate response to that. 

Final Thoughts: Excellent, easily one of the best of the season, the series and possibly of chirstmas show episodes all together, we shall see when I put together my list. And given how utterly excellent Last Christmas already is, it was hard to top.. but they did it. This was a warm, wonderful special that gets to the heart of christmas.. and really why I LIKE santa so much. For all the comercailsim around him.. he’ s a kind generous man who gets kids to belivie in magic for a while, wants nothing in return , with the offering of cookies just there to be nice and thank him for being a good person, and just wants best for people. He’s what’s best about christmas rolled into a person. And the series gets that and makes him the kindest guy around. It ends up being a story abotu Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas, an irony that’s not lost on me, but in a way that’s diffrent and unique from last time and works just as well. It’s just a warm wonderful epsiode with plenty of great gags and adventure and a beautiful, unique story at it’s core that could only be told here with tihs cast and this version of scrooge and that’s what makes it so damn magical. Easily a fantastic note to go out on.  Next time on Ducktales: I don’t know! Next time this blog covers ducktales: We’re going back a few seasons to the only episode i’ve never seen, not even a little bit. It’s the treacherous summit of mt neverest!  Until then, if you liked this review, reblog and all that good stuff, follow for more ducks, and if there’s an episode of any show you want me to cover, my cyber monday sale is still going till midnight central, and even past that if you get in a liittle past it, so you can comission a review of any episode for just 3 bucks right now, 5 if you get to this review after monday. So spend if you have it.. and if you don’t.. happy holidays to you anyway. Have a wonderful season. 

[mrs-i-have-too-many-biases]

Astro Royal!Au

Scenario: You/ they are a Royal.

Genre: Fluff, slight angst, humour.

Pairing: Reader X Astro members

Word count: 

Myungjun:

Myungjun was known as a prince that smiled a lot and that had amazing vocals. And since his mother also knew about his amazing vocals, she putted him on vocal classes so that he could get even better and that he could share his beautiful voice with their people.

You on the other hand, were just a maid that worked and lived in the castle. You were in charge of the flowers all around the castle. You have always loved them, they are just so colourful and every single flower had a different meaning, you could just look at them for hours.

You got the maid job form your mother, she had always worked in the palace and got you a job there, since the royal family needed someone with flower knowledge and you had that. You loved working at the palace since you got to see the two things you liked the most: flowers and prince Myungjun. You knew it was inappropriate for a maid to like her 'boss', but you just couldn't help it.

Myungjun was an absolute sweetheart, but super shy when he was around you for some reason you had noticed. Since the very first day you met, Myungjun fell in love with you. As the crown prince he was able to choose his own future wife, and he was sure he had found her already.

But he just didn't know how to approach you since you were usually working or picking flowers for the palace halls and dining room. One day when you were busy picking flower in the royal garden, was Myungjun looking at you from a distance.

"Alright, you got this. Just go to her and talk to her. You do this all the time Myungjun. Why is this so difficult?" He yells frustrated.

"Just be yourself your majesty."

"Ah! Edward, you scared me." The young prince sighed in reliec when he saw his advisor in front of him.

"I'm sorry your majesty, but like I said. Just be yourself. She'll appreciate and like that."

"Y-you knew?" Myungjun stuttered.

"Of course! I'm your advisor your majesty. I know everything about you. Besides, she's one of the sweetest girls I've ever met! She once made me a whole basket of different types of bread and sweets when I was sick. She's an actual angel."

"This makes me like her even more! Edward please help me, what do I do?" "Give her a rose, she loves them. And just tell her you like her. She doesn't like to play games. Just be straight forward with her and confess your feelings to her."

"Thank you Edward!" Myungjun exclaims happily, hugging Edward.

Myungjun picked a rose that hadn't blossomed yet. He took a deep breath and walked up to you. You yelped in surprise as Myungjun tapped you on your shoulder.

"Your majesty, how can I help you?" You ask politely while bowing.

"This is for you." Myungjun says handing you the rose.

"W-what?"

"The rose is like you. Before it's blossoming it's a simple looking wonder, it doesn't look that special at all, but once it's all blossomed, it's beautiful. I know that you're somebody who works for my family, but you are so beautiful. Inside and out. I remember the one time you took care of me when I was sick. And Edward told me you did the same for him! You're an angel and I really, really like you. So would you make me a happy guy, by going on a date with me?"

You were so surprised with everything that was happening that you didn't know if this was reality or just a dream.

"Please don't let this be a dream. Please don't let this be a-" Myungjun cut you off with a kiss which made you blush as you opened your eyes. "It's not a dream, even though it feels like one. So, what do you say? How about a date?" He asks whilst he held you, the rose still in between the two of you.

"Yes. Yes I would love to." You replied, smiling brightly. Myungjun did the same and pulled you into a tight hug, happy that you felt the same.

Jinwoo:

"But mother, why do I have to? I'm only 21!" Jinwoo whined like a little kid. "That's exactly why you should find a woman. Jinwoo, you have to rule the kingdom. It is your duty to marry and be the next king before the age of 22. I know that it's hard Jinwoo, but that's just how it goes." His mother says, kissing his forehead before she left his bedroom. Jinwoo sighed in frustration as he laid on his bed.

'Why did mom had to do this? These rules are so old school.'

The queen, Jinwoo's mother had arranged a masked ball where he had to choose his future wife from. The reason why it was a masked ball was so he'd choose a lady because of her personality and charms, not because she looks nice from the outside. Not that Jinwoo cared that much about his significant other's appearance. After Jinwoo would've chosen his hopefully future wife, they would go on some dates to see if it would actually work out, or if she wasn't a spy.

Meanwhile, Jinwoo was sulking on his bed, which was what you were doing at that time.

"You have to get this guy to like you! He's your only chance to get rich!" Your mother said.

"Why do I have to marry a man just to be rich? I'm not like you, you know?" You whined back, not even bothering to look at her whilst you laid down.

"Enough. You need to marry a man with money, end of the discussion." She says, before she walked out of your room, slamming the door shut in process. You groaned loudly throwing a pillow across the room.

"Why can't I marry a man that I actually like?" You ask yourself. Your mother as always been obsessed with money and had married quite some men to get the amount of zeros on her bank account to get what she wanted.

You on the other hand didn't care at all about it. You wanted to find true love, as cheesy as it sounded. But your mother wouldn't let you, she was selfish.

You sighed once again and started to get ready for the ball. You was going to wear a simple blue gown which you choose yourself. It was a wide gown what fitted you perfectly. Your mother didn't like the fact that you wanted to go to a masked ball of a prince in a 'ugly' dress like that. She wanted you to wear sparkles and glitters, if it was allowed she would've just bathe you in glitter and send you like that to the ball to make sure that you are the centre of attention. So, to please your mother you bought a shiny mask and diamond accessories.

As the night of the ball was there, was your mother assuring you that the ball would be fun and that everything would be perfect. Well it was everything but fun.

The ball was boring, the music was just classical, which you thought was beautiful, but you needed something more than just a waltz. You went to the conductor and asked him to play something with a faster tempo. He smiled brightly when you asked and immediately changed the song. As you looked around you saw the smiles on people their faces as they walked towards the dance floor.

You used this as a distraction manoeuvre to get out of sigh of your mom. Hoping that the prince wouldn't be able to get forced to be with you by your mother. You walked through the palace and stopped every now and then to look at a painting. You were surprised by how many there were. Eventually you ended up in a library, you walked around a little and sat down after a while when you had found a couple you liked.

"An anime?" A male voice behind you asks, making you jump.

"Your majesty! I'm terrible sorry I was-" You started.

"You think the ball is also boring right?" Prince Jinwoo, who had taken off his mask showing true identity, asks you as he sits down besides you.

"To be honest, yes. But it's less boring now since they aren't just playing the classical hits." Jinwoo laughs at your joke as you imitated a Radio DJ.

"By the way, I think you look very beautiful tonight. Your dress is so simple and your mask makes me want to get to know you." He compliments with a smirk.

"Thank you your-"

"Please, call me Jinwoo. Or Jinjin like my friends do."

"Won't your parents be mad if I did so? I mean I also went to the library without permission-"

"No. No, I don't think they would get mad at my future wife." Jinwoo states, the smirk hadn't left his lips.

"W-what?" You managed to let out as you were "I like you, there's something about you that none of these other girls have here. I think you're the one." Jinwoo whispers as he had moved closer to you.

"Your majes- Jinwoo. Are you-"

"I am sure now come with me." He says taking your hand, dragging you back into the ballroom.

You could hear your mother yell at you. But you hadn't had time to look since you were dragged somewhere.

"Everyone! I have an announcement to make." Jinwoo yells as he walks into the ball room. 

"I've found the one. And her name is Y/n Y/l/n." You looked at him in total shock, but your stiffened face softened when he looked at you. He looked at you with his eyes flowing over with love.

You knew it would be alright.

Eunwoo (Dongmin):

As a princess you had your duties. But you weren't that type of princess who did all of them, well at least all of that perfectly. You were also that kind of princess who loved to joke around and play with the kids in the village. Your parents weren't always too happy with your ways, but loved you anyway since you were their only daughter.

And as their only daughter and also the crown princess. Therefore, you were a lot in the village getting in touch with citizens, where they loved you even more since they saw how much you cared about them.

Meanwhile, there was one boy who liked you more than anyone else in the village. His name was Dongmin, in the town also known as Eunwoo. 'Prince' of the village was a name he had gained from the citizen. He had the looks of a prince, but just not the royal blood. He was a performer in the village and was pretty popular with the girls.

Even you, the princess, knew about him. But what you didn't know about him was, that he was your secret admirer. Every week you would get a letter from someone with a confession written in it. Sometimes written as a poem or as a song. You were so flattered that you just wanted to know who this person was. But you never seemed to be able find him.

Today was one of those days where you were going to the village. You were heading to the baker to ask if he could bake some pastries and cakes for a party of yours that was coming up. "Of course am I available princess! Anytime for you!" He smiled brightly.

You discussed what you wanted to have for the party until the baker gasped as he realised something. "I had to give you these." The baker says before handing you a bouquet of flowers.

'I hope you like them~ <3 You know who.'  The card read that came along with them.

Earlier that day was Dongmin getting ready to bring the bouquet to the baker, as he knew that you were having you weekly lunch. "Look at our prince trying to get the princess!" A friend of Dongmin's say as he filmed him.

"Ah stop it." Dongmin says putting his hand in front of the lens. "Don't you need a mask or anything? You're her 'secret' admirer, remember?" His friend teased.

"I know, but I thought that it might be time to let her know who I am. I mean I like her, so why would I hide for her. I've done this for long enough now. And I can't let a princess wait for her prince." Dongmin replied confident with a playfull smirk on his lips.

"Don't get too cocky, alright. Never forget where you came from, when you're our king."

"Who says I'll be the next king? I bet she has a boyfriend no one knows about." Dongmin mutters sadly.

"She doesn't-"

"She could have been dating the guy just yet and maybe she's not sure if it's going to become something serious." Dongmin stressed.

"You thought about this, didn't you?"

"Too much." Dongmin admitted dramatically, before they stepped out of the car to hand the flower to the baker.

"Do you remember what he looks like? This person has been sending me gifts, letters and flowers for ages and I just want to know his name." You asks the baker.

"I can't tell you his name your majesty, but I can tell you what he is called around here."

"Please tell me." You said almost desperately.

"He's called 'The prince of the Village' around here. His looks are that beautiful, that people would think that he's a prince."

"A 'prince' huh? Sounds interesting. Can you please make sure for me, since you know him, that he will attend the party this Saturday?"

"I will your majesty."

"Thank you very much. I'll see you Saturday." You said before you exited the bakery.

As it was Saturday and the party was getting started, were you looking around to see if your secret admirer was here too. Many boys had come up to you who were trying to convince you that they were him who you have been looking for. But when you asked them who they were, they answered wrong. As some other boy was trying to convince you was it suddenly getting darker in the ball room and the spots were on a boy behind a piano. He sang a beautiful song, which made your heart flutter since it was just so amazing and almost angel like. You took a better look at him as you sat on our throne. You asked a knight to make him come to you as soon as he was done with performing.

"Good evening your majesty." Dongmin says in a sweet voice while bowing politely, trying to not trip over his own words. "Good evening. Who are you?" You asked him with hope sparkling in your eyes as you looked at him. 

"You know who." He says with a smile. 

"My name is Dongmin your majesty."

"Dongmin, I've been looking for you." You say smiling as you were happy to finally have found him. "Would you like to go on a date anytime soon?" He asks smiling at you with sparkles visible in his eyes.

"I would love to."

Moonbin:

"Mother I swear it's just a little cold." Bin says as he laid sick in bed. "I told you, you should've worn something warmer when you went horse-riding." She nags.

"I know what you said mom, but really, it's not that bad. It'll be over in a couple days."

"It better be, because it's your own fault. Now, even though you're sick your father and I have to go. I'll asks Fred to take care of you and if he could call the baker to bring some extra breads and pastries."

"You don't have to mom-" "Shut it, I'm going to do it anyway. Just, rest well and drink enough, alright?" Bin just nodded in responds before receiving a kiss on his hair from his mother before she left the room.

Bin sighed as he just laid there in bed after an hour or so. There was literally nothing to do. "If I only had a girlfriend now, she could have given me company." He sighs.

"Come on in miss." He hears a knight say before he hears the fences squeak as they opened. Bin got out of bed and ran to his window to see who it was.

'I thought my mom asked the baker to come?'  He asks himself as he saw a young lady with a basket in her arm walking towards the palace.

Bin took a better look at he and noticed that it was a young beautiful lady. He looked at her and started to grin like an idiot for some reason, and he didn't even noticed.

"Y/n! What a surprise! You've become so beautiful! It's been so long! How are you!" Bin hears Fred say, who was waiting for her at the entrance of the doorway. "I'm doing very well, but my father has become very sick. So I've been taking over the place, until he will get better." Bin hears her say in a sad tone.

"What a coincidence, the prince has also become sick. It must be the season, don't you think?" Fred responded.

"I think it is. But I need to go back to my father, so can I hand these over to you?"

"Of course. Tell your father to get well soon."

"I will, see you tomorrow Fred!"

"I'll see you tomorrow Y/n!"

The days went by and it became almost like a routine for Bin. Hearing the fence, her greeting the knight and him running to the window to see her. But after a week and a half he heard one day a male voice. Her father was well again. Bin thought it was a pity that he couldn't see you again in the early morning, making his day already better even though it hasn't even started yet. 

He went down the stairs and went straight to Fred asking him: "Was that the baker?"

"Yes it was your majesty. Good morning by the way- You're up so early. Why is that? You're never up this early." Fred asked flustered and surprised.

"I was, uh. I was-"

"You were waiting for y/n so come by, didn't you?" Fred has asked with a smirk. "What? What do you mean?" Bin stutters.

"We've seen you by your bedroom window the past few days waiting and looking at her. So, it was quite the obvious answer." Fred laughs.

"Do you know where I can find her?" Bin asks, giving up on his act.

"At the bakery in the village- Wait a minute. Your majesty, you know you can't just leave the palace like that? Especially not, when your parents aren't around." Fred stresses.

"Ah, c'mon Fred. I'm old enough! I just want to get to know her. Is romance that much too asks for, for a prince these days?" Bin pouts.

"It's not your majesty, but-"

"I'm going." The prince states.

"Your majesty please-" Fred says trying to stop Bin, but he had already ran out of the castle. Poor Fred, he didn't sign up for this.

After Bin had crawled under a old hole in the bushes he had made when he was younger, he putted his hood over his head and started to walk towards the village.

He didn't know the way, so he started to asks around about the bakery she worked at. He almost got recognised a couple of times, but made it in time at the bakery to be bothered by the girls. Bin opened the door of the bakery and was welcomed with a warm and delicious smell of just baked breads.

"Hello! How can I help you- Your majesty! What an honour to have you here!" The baker says bowing. "Good morning sir, I'm here for Y/n."

"Y-y/n? My Y/n? She hasn't done anything wrong right?"

"No! No, I just wanted to talk to her." Bin says showing the bouquet of flowers he had picked up earlier for her.

"I see. I'll get-"

"Dad! The cakes are done! Are you coming and help me deco- Oh, hello." She says smiling.

"Y/n, where are your manners?" The baker softly yells to his daughter.

"Excuse me, hello your majest-"

"It's okay, these are for you." He says handing her the bouquet. She smiles shyly while taking them, thanking him with a bow. "I'll leave you two alone." The baker says smiling.

"I'm Prince Moon- Bin Moon, Bin prince- Bin!" Bin stutters, making y/n giggle. "I already know that your majesty. But can I ask, why are you here?"

"Well, I saw this pretty girl the other day and she suddenly disappeared, and I wanted to get to know her. I got the address and ended up here."

"What a coincidence, I happened to have dropped of some breads these past few days and I noticed a cute boy looking at me from a window every time I came by. He was very handsome, but I think it might have been the prince." You two talked some longer and laughed together, holding hands and sat close together, enjoying each other's company.

And Bin knew, this would last for a long, long time.

Rocky (Minhyuk):

Your mothers were best friends and when they had their children they wanted them to befriend. Eventually they noticed how close you two have become through the years. They knew that you two would end up ruling the country together.

When you two were around the age of nine you had to attend a ball and the two of you had danced all night long together. You were so tired after it that you asked your mothers to sleep over at each other's place. That same night you promised that you would never be apart and stay best friends for the rest of your lives. 

But destiny decided otherwise.

After that very same night the two of you didn't see each other again. You asked your parents why you never saw Minhyuk and they just said it didn't matter. You shrugged it off and went on with your life. Yes, you did miss Minhyuk, he was your best friend, but through the years the sadness faded.

You never forgot about him, every now and then you would see an item that reminded you of Minhyuk. You would sigh and walk away from it, wondering how he was doing.

"Y/n?"

"Yes mom?"

"We're going to an ball this weekend, make sure you're prepared."

"I will." You sighed. Your mother had tried to set you up multiple times and you were sure she was going to do it again this weekend.

You were getting ready to go to the ball as the day had arrived. Your mother had also hired a whole makeup and hair team to make you look 'extra' beautiful. You never really liked the whole 'You have to look pretty as a princess' thing, as a joke you told your mother that you wanted to go in your sweatpants and she flipped.

You were finally done and you looked at yourself in the mirror. This was someone your mother had created, she was a little vain and everybody thought she was gorgeous, on the outside. They thought you were intimidating also and they assumed that you were a bitch. You never really understood it, but you shrugged it off.

When you had arrived at the palace, where the ball was you shyly got out of your carriage. You waved at some people before you hurried inside. Your mother was already scolding you that you should 'flirt' with the camera and people to be more loved, but you knew better. After 30 minutes or so, had your mother left you alone and you stood there alone in the middle of the room. You moved a little to the beat of the music and looked around to see someone you might know, but sadly you didn't.

"Hello." A male voice behind you said.

"Hello, I'm Y/n."

"Hi, I'm Sanha. Can I have this dance?" He asked nervously.

"Of course you can." You danced some longer with Sanha before he took you to his friends after he had came out of his shell, so that you wouldn't be alone again.

"Guys, this is Y/n! She's a great dancer I just danced with her! Y/n this is Bin, Dongmin, Jinwoo, Myungjun and-"

"Minhyuk?" You say surprised as you saw your old best friend again.

"Y/n?" He says shocked as he looked up and saw you. "Oh my god! I missed you so much!" You exclaimed as Minhyuk brought you in his arms.

"I missed you too! It's been so long!"

"I know, but why?" You asked him confused.

"I don't know, my mother never told me."

"Mine neither." You say sadly.

"I'm here too!" Jinwoo says waving his hands in the air. "I'm sorry Jinwoo." You apologised before hugging him. "You've grown taller I see." You whined.

"Seriously, Y/n used to be taller than me, and look at her now." Jinwoo says teasing you as he stood next to you, showing them the height difference. "She used to tease me all the time." Jinwoo says laughing.  

"Ah, I see. Oh, by the way, this is my girlfriend." Minhyuk said, as he had wrapped his arm around the waist of a pretty girl.

"Hey." She says coldly, while looking at her nails. Your heart broke a little, knowing that your best friend and crush had a girlfriend and also at how arrogant she looked.

'Rude.'  You thought to yourself before focusing on Minhyuk again. "We should hang out sometimes?" He suggests.

"Yes! I would love that." "You can't you promised that we would spend the week together." His girlfriend whined.

"It doesn't have to be this week, next week is good for me too."

"He can't. He-"

"Sounds good to me." He had told her.

"Does anyone want to dance?" Jinwoo ask as he felt the awkward atmosphere. "I do, let's go." You replied quickly before dragging Jinwoo to the dance floor. "Who is she?" You asked him while dancing.

"She's his arranged girlfriend, who he is supposed to marry, which I don't understand since I thought that you and Minhyuk had to marry." Jinwoo whispers as you two danced through the room.

"That's what I thought too, but something happened that made me and Minhyuk not see each other for years and that that girl came into his life." You said sadly. "She's nothing compared to you Y/n, that's why she was so cold to you earlier." He assures, rubbing your arm soothingly, yet not missing a single beat.

"I get it, but I don't get why this happened. I think I'm going to my mother- no. I'm going to Minhyuk's mother. My mother won't tell me, I know her by now." You say sadly before you let go of Jinwoo's grip before you searched for Minhyuk's mother.

"Hello auntie." You say happily as soon as you found her.

"Y/n, are you here too?" She exclaimed. A smile had appeared on her face for a split second as soon as she saw Y/n's familiar face.

"Of course, I've got invited."

"I didn't know, who did?" Minhyuk's mother asked in a different kind of tone. The one that usually scared people off.

"I don't know, my mother just dragged me here. But I've got a question for you."

"Be quick please because I've got-"

"Why were Minhyuk and I separated for so many years? My mom won't answer me." You asked quickly, desperation was noticeable in your voice.

"She hasn't told you?" She asks you surprised.

"Told me about what?"

"Did your mother ever mentioned me these past years?"

"No, not really. And that's what surprised me, you two are best friends. Why won't you talk-"

"I accused her for a thief." She cut you off, leaving you speechless for a while.

"What?" You were taken back as you turned around to your mother who was standing behind you. "Someone stole an important vile at our palace and she was one of the only persons I trusted that I have told about where I hid it. But it turned out that it was our maid." She admitted in a whisper.

"Your mother also called my son awful names and we decided to not speak anymore." She adds.

"That you two had a misunderstanding, doesn't had to mean that Y/n and I couldn't see each other for years! And that you just set me up with a random girl forcing me to marry her next month!" Minhyuk yelled in anger.

"Next month?" You gasped.

"I don't want to marry her Y/n, I want to marry you. When my mother told me when I was little that you and I would get married one day, I couldn't be happier. I love you so much and I still do to this very day." He whispered as he held you close to him.

"I love you two Minhyuk."

"Then, I guess you two should marry. I've seen that your current girlfriend wasn't happy either with the fact that she was forced to get married and it was wrong to get you two involved in our fight. We're sorry."

"It's okay, I've got him now, don't I?" You smirked.

"You do my daughter. If you two are okay with that." Your mother say while looking at Minhyuk and his mother. "You've got my blessing my dear. I'm so happy you're back! I missed you! You're at least smiling at me whenever you see me." Minhyuk's mother say laughing.

"I guess, we're going to get married." He whispered happily.

"I know, but I love you so it's all okay."

"I love you too." Minhyuk says, before he connected your lips for the first time after all these years.

It sure was worth the wait.

Sanha:

"Ah! Come on! I totally won that!" Sanha screams as he played a game. "Stupid game." He yells. "Sanha! Lower your voice!" His brother, the crown prince, yells from the other side of Sanha's door. "Sorry!" He answered back while focusing on another game he started playing. Sanha played for another hour or so before he got interrupted by his phone that was ringing.

It was Bin.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much, the rest and I are going to the village, want to come along?" "I'm not allowed to go out, it's past 11 already." Sanha states. "C'mon it'll be fine. We horses with us, we'll take one extra for you so your parents won't assume anything." Bin whines.

"You've thought this true, didn't you?" Sanha groans. "I did. Well, are you coming along?" "I'll be waiting at the tree." Sanha sighs, giving in on Bin's offer. He hears him laugh on the other side of the phone before hanging up.

'How am I going to do this?' 

He looked around and took what was necessary. He climbed out of the castle window after he had set everything up making it look like he was asleep. He was lucky that his room wasn't on the top floor of the castle.

"Where are they?" He asks impatient when he was waiting.

"We're here! Sorry! Minhyuk fell off his horse." Dongmin states, trying to hold his laughter. "No, he kicked me off." Minhyuk fought back. "Say it however you want to, you ended up on the ground anyway."

"Here, get on." Jinwoo says tossing Sanha the reins. The six of them rode to the village and left the horses at a stall that was at the village before they walked around a bit. "So, what are we going to do?" "I don't know honestly." Bin answered.

"Seriously? I sneaked out for this." The youngest prince groans in disbelief. "I'm going ho-" "No, let's go and eat something?"

"Alright."

"Great, now-" Bin started to talk before he bumped into someone. "Auch."

"Ah, watch out next time alright? Do you even know who we are?" He threatened angrily.

"Is that important then?" She said getting up from the ground with a cold gaze towards Bin. "Listen here little pauper-" "Bin stop. We're sorry." Jinwoo says dragging Bin with him.

"You're accepting the way she talked to us?" "Bin, you were rude to her too." Sanha says while looking back to make sure she was okay. "Hey! Look a haystack!" Myungjun says before running towards it. The rest of the boys followed him too. They all jumped on it and laughed, but stopped when they heard Sanha suddenly scream in pain. "What happened?" "I think I fell on something sharp when jumped in." He says groaning in pain. "We got to take you to a medical house." Dongmin says helping Sanha up.

The boys dragged him around the village, searching for a medical house and finally found one after thirty minutes. They walked in and saw lots of other patients that were being helped.

"Good evening gentlemen, how can I help you?" A man asks who approached them. "Our friend has hurt himself as we played on a haystack, we don't know how bad it is, but he is hurting and bleeding pretty bad."

"I'll get someone who will check it for you, please take a seat there." The boys did what they were told to and sat Sanha down on a chair. "Hello, I'm Y/n. I'll be help- Oh, it's you guys." A familiar voice said. It was the girl they bumped into earlier.

"Can you help my friend?" Bin asks her.

"Why?  I thought I was just a little pauper?" "I'm sorry about earlier. I know I shouldn't have talked to you like that for no reason. I have no explanation either why I acted like that. I'm just sorry." "It's okay, thank you. Wow, you hurt yourself pretty bad. How come?" Y/n states as she focused her attention on Sanha and his leg.

"We played on a haystack and I think I might've cut my leg on a shovel or something." "You played on a haystack? Cute." You whispered. "Not as cute as you." Sanha muttered whilst smiling slightly.

You just smiled as well as you cleaned his wound and wrapped it up in temporary dressing. "All good. I advise you to not walk to much or to do nothing much with your leg at all, it will cause it to bleed again. And I'll give you some painkillers with you." You said before handing them to Sanha with a prescription. The boys thanked her before they left. Sanha looked at the prescription and saw a number written down on it with the message:

'You're cute, I like you. Call me when you can <3 ~ Y/n.'  Sanha smiled to himself the whole night through, even through the fact that he got scolded for ten minutes straight by his parents.

The boy was in love, and he was blind for everything else at the moment, because he knew he had found the one, knowing he'd be ready to get hurt just to be with her.

Gifs aren’t mine.

@klynvan

[mst3kproject]

1002: The Girl in Gold Boots

 Didn’t I just recently do a Ted V. Mikels movie as an Episode that Never Was?  Yes, I did.  That was the Corpse Grinders – I do actual episodes further in advance than the EtNWs, so it’s only been about a week since I watched it.  Do I want to see another Ted V. Mikels movie?  No, I don’t. Am I gonna do so anyway?  Yes, I am, because I hate myself.

Fish-lipped Michele wants to be a dancer – and an opportunity to do so (and to escape her abusive and drunken father) walks into her life in the form of Buzz, whose sister Joanie is the star attraction at a sleazy LA nightclub called the Haunted House.  After some misadventures that might be intended as comical but I really can’t tell, Michelle lands the job only to discover that the Haunted House is, of course, a Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy.  The club owner is selling drugs, all the dancers are junkies, the janitor’s a draft-dodger, and the band sucks.

Girl in Gold Boots is to Ted V. Mikels what Beast of Yucca Flats was to Coleman Francis.  It’s a painfully bad movie that fails at almost everything, but it’s better than anything else he ever made.

The Astro-Zombies and The Corpse Grinders both began with apparently unrelated scenes and weird emphases that confused me far more than they intrigued me, and put me off the films that follow.  The opening of Girl in Gold Boots is nice and straightforward: Michele is dancing to the jukebox when Buzz comes into the diner where she works, and he offers to make her a star.  From there the story progresses in a very linear fashion, confirming our suspicions one by one.  Buzz comes across as deeply untrustworthy, and sure enough he turns out to be the second ickiest elf I’ve seen doing this blog (Elves wasn’t that long ago, either).  Critter the hitchhiker seems like there’s gotta be more to him than a wandering hairy beatnik, and yep, he’s on the run from the army.  The Haunted House looks like it’s gotta be a front for something and it’s exactly that.

This means that nothing in Girl in Gold Boots is surprising to us – we saw all this coming from miles away, but the movie works.  It tells a story that we understand, and the narrative never smacks us upside the head with anything so confusing or irrelevant that we stop and lose our place. That alone makes it better than anything else of Mikels’ that I’ve seen.

But man, it’s bad.  It looks and sounds terrible – the music is not among the worst ever to disgrace our ears as MSTies, but it’s not great.  The songs are okay while they’re actually playing but you forget them quickly. There are two different prints of the movie available, one of which has the weird skip in the footage which leads to Buzz teleporting back to the restaurant table – the other has similar skips in other places.  The dancing and singing sequences are repetitive and dull.

Worse than that, Girl in Gold Boots breaks one of the biggest storytelling commandments: Thou Shalt Show, Not Tell.  Other MST3K movies have done this, of course: Atlantic Rim told us about rather than showing us a ‘ship graveyard’.  Teenagers from Outer Space told us rather than showed us that there was a fleet of spaceships about to land.  Girl in Gold Boots does worse, because it tells us something that is directly contradicted by what we see.  We’re told over and over that Michele’s dancing is an extraordinary talent, when the self-evident truth is:

Actress Lesley McRay has some rhythm, but only barely.  She’s better than most of the dancers in MUZ but only because she moves around rather than standing in one place.  Mostly she just kind of sways back and forth and waves her arms languidly, like she’s at her first school dance and didn’t bring a date.  In a way this helps her fit right in, since almost none of the dancers at the Haunted House is any better.  They all appear to have been cast on the basis of having abs that would look good in a Sexy Baked Potato costume, actual talent secondary.

The closest thing to an accomplished dancer in the movie is Bara Byrnes, playing Joanie.  She’s still not great, but the second time we see her dance, she manages to walk a very fine line of showing us that her drug abuse is interfering with her work while not actually being melodramatic about it. We can believe she’s gotten to this point while still being allowed to dance, but she’s right on the brink, and it’s no surprise that her boss decides to replace her.

Does this story have a moral?  Sure does.  It’s give up on your dreams, they aren’t worth it.

No, seriously.  We’re following three main characters here: Michele is our primary protagonist, who dreams of stardom.  She finds that the price of doing so is mixing with criminals, with Joanie for an example of where this path will lead her, and so she gives it up.  Critter dreams of a peaceful, free-spirited lifestyle – the army is pretty much the exact opposite of that, but it is to the army he eventually goes. Buzz wants to be a wealthy drug dealer and have Michele all to himself, and that doesn’t work out for him, either.  In the end Michele and Critter accept their own mediocrity while Buzz and Joanie are destroyed by their refusal to do the same.

Maybe that analysis is too cynical.  Maybe this is actually supposed to be a story about avoiding shortcuts.  Everybody here wanted a shortcut to their dreams. Michele seizes upon a suspicious offer because she thinks it’s all she’ll ever get.  Critter runs away because he can’t stand the idea of soldiering (excuse me) through.  Buzz kills a man in his attempt to climb the ladder.  In each case, it’s this attempt at a shortcut that brings them down, ushering Michele into the world of drugs, forcing Critter to find a hole to hide in, etcetera.  Maybe in the end, Michele and Critter have learned not that their dreams aren’t worth it, but that there are no shortcuts – in order to get to the top, you have to climb the hill.

And yet that’s not what we see.  The ending scene, with the happy couple partying all alone on a beach, seems to suggest that this is it: Critter will go off to war and Michele will sit and wait for him while living off his soldier’s paycheques.  The idea of what they will do after his service is completed never comes up.  There is no hint that Michele will continue to pursue a career in dance through other avenues.  They both just settle for being average.

This is realistic, I guess… you guys have heard the story about how I wanted to be an archaeologist until I accidentally broke an ancient skull open with my trowel when I mistook it for a rock.  I’m happy enough in my current career, but that’s not what fiction is for.  If I’m watching a movie about somebody chasing a dream, I want to see it end with at least the hope of achieving it!

Maybe Michele has decided that dancing was just an excuse, and what she really wanted was to escape her father, but after she leaves the diner that is never mentioned again.  The father was just a plot device, something needed to make going with the obviously slimy Buzz seem like a good idea in comparison.

Respect for women is a fairly major motif in this movie, which raises a few eyebrows when the camera spends so much time looking down their bras and up their skirts.  The bad guys in this movie are the ones who treat women poorly.  Michele’s father shouts at and hits her.  Buzz manipulates her and drags her into a world of crime. The owner of the Haunted House drugs her and also abuses Joanie, his own girlfriend.  When Buzz is posing as an inmate his supposed crime is domestic violence.

We’re supposed to contrast this with Critter, who loves and respects Michele.  When he begs her to leave the club, she tells him that if he says he loves her, she’ll elope with him – but he refuses to do so because he has his own crimes to run from and doesn’t want her involved in those.  Michele should want to escape for her own sake, not for anybody else’s, and he would rather break her heart than get her in more trouble.  At the end, when he has joined the army after all, I think we’re supposed to assume that he did it so that she can be secure, rather than Tom Servo’s analysis that he’s learned he enjoys violence and is ready to kill like a man oughtta.

This is emphasized enough that I’m pretty sure it’s intentional, and while the sentiment is admirable, in a film like Girl in Gold Boots it reeks of hypocrisy.  We cannot respect Michele while also drooling over her in a fur-trimmed bikini.  Maybe we’re meant to view Michele giving up dancing as a form of self-respect, not letting herself be degraded anymore.  But what about the other dancers?  Does Joanie deserve to be treated as a sex object because she’s an addict?  We never get to know the backup dancers, but should we assume they’ve all committed similar sins?  As with Hollywood After Dark, the movie seems to suggest that virtuous women should be treated with respect, but sluts are deserving targets.  No.  That is not how it works.

I didn’t really remember this episode, so when I watched it again in preparation for this review, I was surprised by how funny it was.  The riffs are top-notch and the host sketches are pretty good, too – my favourite is the bit where Pearl starts just wailing on Brain Guy with the film canister while the guy from the Mad Science Certification Board nods approvingly.  Paul’s giggling really sells it.

[euphoricpixi3]

Defeated

(A/N): WARNINGS!: None

Paring(s): JUNGKOOKXREADER

Requested? No

But you can request here. BTS/ASTRO/NCT/STRAY KIDS/Shawn

Enjoy.

Summary:  “I’m scared that everytime I would look into your faraway look I would wonder if you’re thinking of her. I deserved happiness Jungkook. And so did you”

It was quiet. The only sound filling the room was Kookie‘s breathing. The sun was rising on the skyline of Seoul, making for the perfect view as she sat in one of the chairs in the bangtan‘s apartments balcony. You glanced at the sleeping figure for the last time before getting up and slowly without interrupting anyone you made your way to the bathroom. Your eyes met reflection of someone else. You couldn‘t believe that it was you. You didn‘t look tike the cheereful easy going girl you really are, rather tired, suffocated. You felt like a burden. But perhaps you were one?Coming to visit the boys just as their comeback started wasn‘t your wisest idea. They were busy 24/7. So that left you alone lurking in their rooms without even the ability to go and explore the city. Why? Your korean wasn‘t the best. So you just sat there, reading books, surfing the internet, watching the boys perform. Perhaps it wouldn‘t have bothered you that much if it wasn‘t for her. Nina. The girl Jungkook had loved before you. Or never stopped loving. That‘s something you were trying to figure out every night, watching the view of Seoul in front of you, being comforted by the breathing sounds of your lover.You didn‘t want to admit but it was true, even the army noticed. Jungkook and you were almost getting strangers. Kookie was always with her. Going for the late brunch, practice buddies, hell, they even became cinema buddies. You? You were kind of just there. Left behind. Kookie never seemed to notice that you were looking more and more tired. Of everything

.•••

After attempting to quielty make yourself a cup of coffee you saw Tae sit on the other side of the table. You shyly lowered your head before apologetically smiling. „Did I wake you up? Sorry“Taehyung shot up quickly after hearing your voice. „Have you been crying? Your voice is really raspy“You mumbled quiet no without looking at him. No further questions were asked when smiling Hoseok entered the kitchen. After greeting him, you and Taehyung started listening to Hoseok‘s dream. You being glad for his interruption. You weren‘t sure if you wouldn‘t breakdown if you had started talking.Soon every boy started to entering their kitchen. Must mean that in no time they will leave and you will be left alone.You slightly relaxed and leaned back when familliar arms wrapped around you from behind. „Morning baby. How come you‘re never in bed when I wake up?“ his morning voice sending your body all kind of signals. „How come you‘re never in bed when I go to bed?“ you asked jokingly but quickly regretted it when his grip loosen up. „Sorry“ you apologized.

•••

And you were left alone. Just like that. But today you decided that it was going to be different. You‘re going to attempt exploring the city. Perhaps you will even take cute pictures that you saw on Nina‘s instagram account. The streets of Seoul were busy. People getting from point A to B. You didn‘t want to look like a foreigner so you didn‘t turn on maps on your phone. For once you wanted to fit in somewhere. Even though deep down you knew it wasn‘t possible.After getting yourself a drink you noticed the sky getting darker. Has it been so low or is it getting cloudy? You wondered around the fast-paced streets, two times stopped by foreigners who gladly asked for ways to the shopping centre or cinema. You knew how it felt to be lost, hell, you were lost everyday, so you were happy that you‘ve helped someone. For once you felt at ease. There were no Nina, Jungkook, boys, staff. It was just you. Y/N.

•••

Your happiness were crushed down when you stepped into boy‘s apartment. Every single one of them with their heads lowered down.Jin snapped his head up when he heard the doors closing. „Y/N“ soon you felt drowning in the embrace of Jin. „We were so worried about you. Where have you been?“You were taken back by the sudden questions. Were they really scared because of you?You smiled at them before starting to talk about how proud you were of yourself for getting out there on your own. Until your face dropped yet again.„What‘s wrong?“ Jimin asked looking at you questioningly. Your eyes scanned the apartment. „Where‘s Jungkook?“You could see them shift uncomfortably, none of them looking at you. „He‘s with Nina“You took out your phone, seeing missed calls from boys but zero from Jungkook.“Are you okay?” Your mind was racing, were I just a rebound? Did Jungkook even love me? “Of course” you answered with trembling lips. , fake smile splattered on your face.You were okay, right?

***

It was past the midnight when you were left with only Namjoon in the room. Still no presence of your boyfriend.Namjoon was a wise man. Everyone knew that. That’s why it was so good to talk to him, he always knew what to say. “Are you tired?” he asked slowly standing up. “Because I will be heading to bed” you shook your head smiling. “Y/N? How many hours do you sleep? You look really tired?” he told you worryingly.If being honest, you couldn’t remember the last time you had full sleep. “8hours?” you shrugged your shoulders. “A day?” Namjoon was surprised you slept that much. But his face fell down soon you answered “A week” After promising that you would go to sleep soon even if Jungkook won’t show up, he started heading to his room before turned around. “And Y/N?” You looked at him questioningly.“I want you to know that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. It’s okay to save yourself” without another word he stepped into his room.It’s okay. You reminded yourself.

***

After what seemed like another few hours Your gazed were torned away from computer’s screen when you felt someone walking in the room. Turning away you saw Jungkook laying down in bed. “So is this how we’re going to deal with everything? Just ignoring it?” you asked chuckling. “What are you talking about?” he lazily sat down. “Perhaps the fact that you spend every single day with Nina? Not to mention that you just came at home..” your gaze shiften to the clock on the wall “at 3am”.“Y/N, calm down. Don’t make it such a big deal” Jungkook groaned. “But somehow you get all mad when I text my friends” you bitterly chuckled. “Really fair and mature Jungkook”“What’s your problem Y/N?” he asked, his tone getting louder.“My problem is that you’re not fucking here, Jungkook. You’re always with the boys, friends, Nina! I had to listen to the fucking ASMR your fans made so I would remember what your voice sounds!” Jungkook was taken back by your sudden outburst. Both of you were sure that the boys could hear you.“Do you even love me?” you asked, sounding so defeated and tired. Jungkook was in pain just listening to you. Had he really caused this pain you were feeling?“Y/N. Of course I love you.” He stepped closer to you “But you know that I…” you didn’t let him finish before interrupting him “But you love her just a little more”His thumb wiped the tears rolling own your tears. “I’m so damn scared Jungkook” you whispered looking into his chocolate eyes. If you weren’t crying yourself, you would have seen Jungkook’s eyes filling with tears.“What are you scared of?” he asked resting his forehead against yours. “I’m scared that everytime I would look into your faraway look I would wonder if you’re thinking of her. I deserved happiness Jungkook. And so did you” you whispered, before getting out of his grip. “Please, Y/N, don’t”

<Changing POV>

She had two options left. One. Stay in his warm embrace forgetting the other parallel universe surrounding them. Or two. Turn around and walk away. Leave her world, the only boy she had ever loved with hope that forgetting her first love is easier than people say. And just like that, with the last breath she took, she turned away, knowing she won’t ever meet him again. Her body felt like every single bone is being broken by invisible power when she heard Jungkook choking on his own tears. She wanted to run back, hug him and whisper how much she loved him but she didn’t instead she whispered her last sorry before opening the doors.

***

It’s been awhile but she still felt somewhat trapped. Though it was different this time. She felt trapped in the loneliness she was feeling everyday. No matter how many times she had tried to drink that feeling away, or how many guys she had been with since she walked away.The new guy she met at the club kissed her neck, moaning the name, she had random picked. They were laying on her livingroom’s sofa. It wasn’t comfy, but she didn’t care, she didn’t want to sleep with these random guys in her own bed where the last time she had sex was with Jungkook. Where she had actually felt something. Love, lust, comfort. His strong embrace always felt like home.Sudden rush of disgust made her push the poor guy away. “Is something wrong babe?” His confusion was clearly heard in his raspy voice. “Don’t call me that” she said harshly. “First you cling onto me and then say to get away” he chuckled. She knew it was true. That’s exactly what she did. To him, to the last five guys she tried to sleep with. “Just leave me alone.” She said before covering her bare skin. Without any wishes to be exposed. “Whatever bitch”.She let out loud shriek when she heard the door closing. What was she doing? This is not the way to get over a guy. But deep down she somehow knew that it was impossible. He was like a disease taken over her body. Her whole self.

Trying to wash away every single print of that guy’s hands roaming her body silent tears started to roll down her chubby cheeks. No matter how much weight she lost she never lost her chubby cheeks. But Jungkook loved that. He would always poke them or kiss them. He almost made her like them. Almost.While drying her hair she heard the radio operator mention the boy group taking over the world, tickets gone within few minutes. This couldn’t be..Loud sound echoed through her empty apartment when when the hairdryer smashed into pieces on her bathroom floor. “Canada is welcoming BTS in two weeks!”

***

She couldn’t believe that she’s buying a damn ticket for their concert in Canada. “What on earth am i doing?” She thought before writing the numbers of her card.After so many months she will see Jungkook. Why? She needed it.

***

She was wearing oversized sweater with black cap on. She just wanted to see him. Not him to recognize her. She did get a vip ticket though, the one that involves soundcheck. She paid more than her wage for that one piece of paper(A/N: ME AF). They better make it worth it she joked with herself. But she knew they will. They always make it worth it for their fans.

***

Her outfit was so simple that she even heard the girl next to her whispering how ugly she looked. But she always chose comfy. And Jungkook loved it. It was his favorite side of her.She gasped seeing how big the venue was. She wanted to hug the boys and congrats them of going so far. Finally their work had paid off. But that wish was impossible. For now...

***

The boys were wearing simple outfits for their soundcheck. No fancy clothes. Every single one of them looked so damn happy except for one. Jungkook. He looked tired. Skinnier. Of course the fake smile still plastered on his face. But this was just an illusion, she felt frightened for him, especially when she remembered what happened to him in Chile, when he collapsed because of his exhaustion.But he wasn’t feeling this way because of exhaustion, no, he couldn’t sleep at night without her, that’s why he would always sleep with one of the boys. He couldn’t go listening to their song without breaking down. He was a mess. But still every piece of him thought that he deserved it. Didn’t she feel the same when they were together?She swore she felt his gaze on her already few times. But there was no way he recognized her. Even her own brother didn’t recognize her few weeks ago. She enjoyed listening to their voices echoing through the huge venue. But the peace faded out when the soundcheck was almost over so every single army started to push each other for a better view of the boys. Soon Y/N’s cap was snatched away and the whole world seemed to stop when two pair of eyes met. “Y/N?” “Shit shit shit” she thought before quickly turning away, almost running towards the exit. She felt the chaos building up in the venue before she ran out of the arena. The rain was stronger than before but she didn’t care, she needed to get out of here. She hurried down the pavement when she heard loud screams of fans standing outside. Shouting Jungkook’s name. Her steps became bigger, but within few of those she felt tired. “Y/N!” she gasped when she felt familiar hands tucking her wrist. Turning around she saw Jungkook. Her hand caressed his cheek. “You look tired” her whisper was so silent but he heard her. “I’m so sorry Y/N” he said through tears. Grasping for her touch as if it was his oxygen. “I’m so damn sorry” he didn’t care that they were standing outside while hundreds of fans were watching them. Or the fact that they were standing under the pouring rain. She couldn’t take it anymore. She wrapped her hands around him. Trying to calm him down. While he burried down his head in the crook of her neck. “We’re all right.” he quietly said. “You and me. Okay?” her chest ached and she nodded. “Nothing else is all right” he looked straight into her eyes. Getting closer by every breath they take. “But we are”And then she did the simplest thing in the world. She leaned over and kissed him. And the world cracked open.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #173: Threshold of Oblivion!

July, 1978

What the heck is up with Hercules’ shoes.

Oh also I guess Yellowjacket, Black Widow and Hercules are going to get kirby krackled? Maybe to death but considering the recent trend, its more likely that they’re going to get disappeared.

And though he has vanished, stern Vision is still with us in our hearts and also in the logo and in a picture in the background.

So last time: quite a bit of things. We’re in the middle of a saga so plot points are piling up. The Avengers met up with the future raccoon-less Guardians of the Galaxy who were afraid a cyborg named Korvac was going to kill Vance Astro when he was just a kid. So they’ve set up shop watching him. Meanwhile, Korvac has far grander plans like marrying a supermodel and chilling in short shorts in Forest Hills. He still killed but then resurrected Starhawk when the one who knows found him.

The Avengers have also been dealing with some disappearances. At first it was just people nobody would miss like Two-Gun Kid and Quicksilver but then beloved characters like Vision, Captain America, and Jocasta have vanished as well.

On top of all that nonsense Peter Henry Gyrich has taken away the Avengers priority status with the US government because of their shitty security. When it rains, it pours. And then it floods because you have consistently failed to plan for flooding in one-hundred and seventy-two issues of precipitation. Which is to say that in a large way the Avengers brought this on themselves and needed this kick in the ass.

But the most immediate threat is the vanishing Avengers so that’s where we start. With Iron Man assembling the best of the what’s left to try to figure this out.

And by best I mean the Whizzer, Captain Marvel, and Black Panther. Two out of three ain’t bad.

But more help is on the way. Black Widow and Hercules arrive in New York via commercial airline (did they not repair the Champscraft after Iron Man broke it?). Black Widow and Hercules are Avengers adjacent characters so were called in by Yellowjacket and the Wasp.

Hercules is being an ass, flirting with a crowd of admiring women instead of disembarking, so Black Widow demonstrates the leadership skills that put her in charge despite being the non-powered person on a team with Hercules, Ghost Rider, Angel, and Iceman.

She shoots Hercules in the head.

That’s her leadership style.

Hercules then shows why he’s not in charge of anything when he tears through the plane rather than go around the terminal and then smashes a helicopter when the pilot refuses to give them a ride since the Avengers priority status has been revoked.

That pilot is now destitute and will starve in the streets without his livelihood.

Anyway.

Hercules and Black Widow arrive at Avengers Mansion and join Iron Man’s round table from the opening splash page.

Iron Man still has no clue what technology might be behind the disappearances so he decides to work with SHIELD scientists to figure it- oh, nope.

Avengers are no longer authorized to contact SHIELD.

So Iron Man decides to do something perhaps a little sketchy and go over SHIELD’s head and contact Nick Fury directly using super secret emergency frequencies that he knows as Tony Stark.

But Nick Fury isn’t any help either (and Tony Stark is probably going to get an angry call in his future for sharing the frequencies (with himself)).

Nick Fury: “I don’t know how ya wormed this frequency outta Stark, Shellhead -- but it won’t do ya any good! As long as Agent Gyrich considers the Avengers a security risk, SHIELD is severin’ all ties! Nick Fury -- out!”

Dang.

Even Nick Fury won’t help them. And he’s as amoral and screw the rules as you can reasonably expect from the boss of an international spy organization. And this whole saga started off with them saving his satellite from a bigger satellite that was no threat to it.

No gratitude.

Anyway, in Forest Hills, Korvac spies on the Avengers.

Perhaps he’s bored.

Or rather, its part of an overall observation to make sure nobody is onto him, as he tells Carina when she comes in to offer him some cocoa.

And by the way, he turns her down. HE CAN JUST MANIFEST COCOA FROM NOTHINGNESS so screw your kind offer.

Kind of rude, Korvac.

Anyway, he also spies on the Guardians of the Galaxy, showing Karina through a kirby krackle viewing hole that they’re fully invested in guarding young Vance Astrovik with no thought to any other possible course of action.

Korvac: “And none even suspect that they are acting on my will, as one of the myriad adjustments I must make in the cosmos to prepare it for my... proprietorship!”

I also want to note that its an incredibly bad idea for Nikki Gold to hide in a tree. Her hair is made of fire and trees are flammable.

But back to spying.

There are others that Korvac must spy on who are slighly less oblivious than the Avengers and Guardians so Korvac tells Carina to gtfo because he needs all his manly concentration and with none of her womanly distractions. Presumably.

So she leaves to go to her bedroom and cries because of Korvac’s cold indifference. Or perhaps because she’s secretly a spy and must now betray Korvac’s trust.

But as she goes to do... something? all with the crackling of energies, she stops.

Carina: “No! I - I can’t do it! I can’t! Michael may be mad to think he’s a god, that he’s the rightful owner of the universe! But father help me -- i’m starting to believe him!”

It is perhaps my more modern sensibilities that has a problem with this. Korvac and Carina’s relationship has been almost entirely off-panel and in suggestion. One of the few times we’ve seen them relaxing together and he’s callously dismissive of her presence and her cocoa offer.

And yet their relationship and love for one another is a key facet of events going forward. So we have to take it on faith that these two love each other enough to motivate actions to come.

Even though Korvac is a typical example of emotionally unavailable take take take no give toxic masculinity.

So for this among other reasons, I will disagree with Korvac that he’s the rightful owner of the universe.

Mankind ills needs a savior such as him.

Anyway. I’m venting, somewhat. Hopefully this will make more sense to you later.

So. Korvac.

Using his PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER he reaches out and watches the unbeknowst Watcher, peeps on Odin and Zeus, and spies on Mephisto’s brunch.

And satisfied that those great powers remain unaware of his schemey plans, he checks on Eternity. The big space weirdo that is actually the entire universe. Because comics are weird and so are Stan Lee and Steve Ditko.

Korvac: “It is good! None yet guess that I even exist! But there still remains the most important entity to be observed! The celestial vastness of -- ETERNITY HIMSELF! Eternity! He who is the universe personified... within whom all the stuff of this reality exists. He’s so confident, so serene in his omnipotence! He would pay little heed to a mote such as I, even had I not shielded myself from his sight! But one day -- one day soon -- I will take what is rightfully mine!”

Korvac, you’re such an anime villain in so many ways. Scheming to usurp the universe and all...

However, with his senses outstretched or however you describe senses - like trying to hear harder? Senses are weird - Korvac feels something. A ripple in the cosmic fabric.

Coming from disturbingly nearby.

And he marches to Carina’s bedroom, slams the door open, and confronts her over her treachery.

But as he’s physically manhandling her, he looks into her eyes and sees only love.

Remember: this is a love story.

Of sorts.

Anyway, back to the titular characters and their problems.

Captain Marvel flies off from Avengers Mansion to scour the world with his cosmic senses.

And since there’s nothing that Black Widow and Hercules can actually do at the moment (not even using her spy connections? Geez, Natasha. Geez), they go off to get their luggage from the airport.

On their way to the airport, Natasha and Hercules have Real Talk which is probably more relevant to the Champions book.

Basically Hercules says that since mortals live only a wink in the eye of a god “‘tis of little import how long one lives -- how well is what really matters!”

Which makes Natasha realize a thing or two about how Hercules sees her.

Anyway, back at the mansion again, Whizzer declines to help. After the Count Nefaria fiasco where his Old Man Nihilism helped save the day, he’s realized that he’s too old for this line of work.

And Hawkeye is not an ass for once. Instead he uses his bouquet of flowers arrow to try to cheer Scarlet Witch up. But with Vision and Quicksilver among the missing, she’s feeling some young woman nihilism. A simple trick arrow won’t be cheering her up.

Although ‘simple’ is underselling it. How did he fit a bouquet of flowers in an arrow? WHAT ARROW SORCERY IS THIS?

I mean, he also invented anti-gravity to make an anti-gravity arrow that one time. Its possible that Hawkeye is actually a scientific genius who also happens to be a garbage fire. Or an actual arrow wizard. Who also happens to be a garbage fire.

Also, a Russian steamer slowly approaches New York carrying a weird old man who carves a doll of Scarlet Witch and is just reeking of foreshadowing. What is this guy’s deal? You’ll have to wait and see. Or just google it. Up to you.

Meanwhile Thor returns from one of his Thor trips. But weirdly he doesn’t recognize Wonder Man. Or remember the battles against Graviton or Count Nefaria.

Something weird is going on, Thor-wise. He doesn’t even accept half of Wonder Man’s sandwich.

Although the sandwich wasn’t cut in half before Wonder Man started eating it so its kind of a weird offer.

Meanwhile, in the Avengers laboratory. Yellowjacket is starting to feel like a character in an Agatha Christie novel. Perhaps like a giant bee alien that has been programmed to follow murder mysteries in times of stress.

The Avengers’ equipment isn’t sensitive enough to track the disappearances and none of the people they’ve reached out to have been willing to help them because of Peter Henry Gyrich taking away their priority status.

I have to wonder why they didn’t reach out to the Fantastic Four, honestly. Not even a call that ends with ‘sorry we have our own troubles.’ They just didn’t even try. Nor the X-Men nor the Defenders and their magic guy Mr. Weird.

Although in fairness, the Defenders are dicks. But why not the Fantastic Four?

Oh shared universe, sometimes you’re not so shared after all.

But Black Panther hits upon an obvious idea.

They’re in good with the Guardians of the Galaxy, right? And their Drydock space station is just hanging around not doing anything, right? With technology a thousand years in advance of the Avengers’? Why not just get in touch with them and get them to sort it out?

This idea is so good that Black Panther and Yellowjacket spontaneously cease to exist.

Or maybe they’ve been disappeared by the mysterious adversary.

And Scarlet Witch and Wonder Man were also taken, as Hawkeye and Thor run in to report.

Is it targeted? Or opportunistic?

Black Panther just came up with a good idea and Yellowjacket was about to put it into action when they were vanished. But nothing stops the non-disappeared members from just doing what Black Panther suggested.

And they do do that. Iron Man contacts Vance Astro aboard Drydock and he tells them that he has traced a radiation trail to an object three cubic meters in size orbiting Earth. Which Astro directly compares to the size of a phone box.

Curious and also more curious.

Was Doctor Who the villain all along?

Probably... probably...

Anyway, now that they know where has been causing this trouble, Iron Man asks Astro to teleport the Avengers to it.

He questions the sense of squeezing so many people into a phone box (he would have hated the 50s) but goes ahead and does it anyway.

Inside the bigger on the inside phone box shaped object with a function that allows it to go unnoticed, a chameleon circuit if you will, the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue is gloating over his collection of Avengers in tubes.

Mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue: “It is fortunate that his attention was focused elsewhere. Otherwise, I would have been forced to continue acquiring Avengers in the same sporadic manner as before -- in order to avoid detection!”

We also see that in addition to the ones explicitly yoinked (Wonder Man, Yellowjacket, Scarlet Witch, Black Panther) the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue also snagged Black Widow, Hercules, and Captain Marvel.

Geez. Letting them go off unsupervised really didn’t pay off.

Anyway, the four remaining Avengers (Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye, and the Wasp) loudly announce their presence instead of trying to keep the element of surprise. And by that I mean it was all on Hawkeye.

But the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue isn’t upset to see the Avengers storming his not-TARDIS. In fact, he’s thrilled

The Collector: “‘Cowering’? But my dear fellows, I’m absolutely delighted you’re here! After all, you’ve just saved me the considerable bother of fetching you! For I am -- THE COLLECTOR! And you, my hapless friends, have just completed my collection! Ah hah ha ha ha ha!”

Oh hey its this nerd again!

Good twist, good surprise villain! I love the Collector. Always with the attempted collecting of the Avengers for reasons. Always with being a huge nerd.

And this time he actually managed a scheme that wasn’t dumb. Instead of pretending to be Tom Fagan, he just kidnapped the Avengers with teleportation while invisibly hiding out in orbit in a not-TARDIS. And he would have and might still get away with it if it weren’t for that meddling Vance Astro!

Of course, this isn’t a typical the Collector story. Its part of the Korvac Saga and that leaves open the question of why. We have to assume that the distracted ‘he’ the Collector spoke of was Korvac and his inattentiveness scanning the great powers and yelling at his wife was what allowed the Collector to step up his kidnapping game.

But why? I guess we’ll find out

Next: Captured by the Collector!

Please follow @essential-avengers if you like these posts. Or even if you’re benevolently indifferent.

[lets-get-sirius-about-stars]

Luna Williams Character Page (Updated 6/12/17)

(The GIF is not mine)

Big thanks to @cuddles-for-cassie​ who came up with a few of Luna’s special abilities! YOU ARE AMAZING!

Also, Thanks to @the-singing-canary​ for helping me out with the Luna as well XD

Also Tagging @royslittleharper​ @maruthor​ or @guns-n-lilies​@ and @preppygothica​ and @hamsterforlive​

Sources: http://farmersalmanac.com/full-moon-names/ and http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Lunar_Manipulation

Original Art for her costume and appearance is here!

Basic Info

Name: Luna Williams

Original Name: Unknown

Alias: Lunar mist

Age:

    Physically: 24 years old

    Actual Age: 514 Years

Nicknames

Lune

Lu

Lu Lu (Mostly by Mercury and Pluto)

Nicknames (Alias)

Misty (Mostly by Sirius)

Gender: Female Race: Human-ish(???) Moon Nationality: African

Date of Birth: May 3rd, 1504 Citizenship: 

       Current: America

       Past: France Height:  5”2 Weight: 120 Eye Color:  Glowing White (No visible irises or pupils) Hair Color: Silvery white

Hair Style: cornrows on the left side of her head and her frizzy curly, short hair flowing freely on the other side

Sexuality: Lesbian Body Type: Pear body shape with defined muscular arms

Outfit/Style:

Loose fitting flowy shirts, tighter around the sleeves but loose at the bottom

Jean shorts with sandals

Or skinny jeans with the same combat boots she wears with her costume

She likes flowery designs on her shirts

Prefers lighter colors

Physical Traits:

Silver hair

Glowing white eyes

White freckles that glow, brightness depends on the phase of the moon

These freckles are sprayed across her nose and cheeks as well as her shoulders.

Thick lips

Fan Cast:  Gugu Mbatha-raw

Family:

      Father: Henry Williams; Deceased (To be changed)

      Mother: Rebecca Williams; Deceased (to be changed)

 Relationships:

Cassandra, The Celestial Witch: Was the student or prodigy of the witch; she absolutely hated the witch for taking her away from her family

Koriand’r: Luna’ best friend, also Luna’s crush. She absolutely loves the Kori’s positive attitude and her innocence. Luna can’t seem to pick up the courage to ask Kori out.

Sirius Vance: He… confuses her to say the least. She can hardly speak English as it is, and h usually talks at 100 mph, which doesn’t usually help with her comprehension of the English language. But he’s nice to her, and she can tell that he’s a good person

Makayla Fray:  Her powers and abilities eludes her; they are extremely similar to someone she used to know when she was cursed… but of course that’s impossible (To be revealed later). She loves how patient she is with her when it comes to her lessons on the modern world. Although she doesn’t understand Makayla’s and Sirius’ relationship, but all in all, she enjoys her presence

Kira Kal-El: She enjoys her presence, and absolutely LOVES her cooking

Kara Zor-El: She is friends with her, along with everyone else in the Super Family. Loves her positive attitude and admires her morality.

POWER

She trained with a witch, so she’s able to cast some spells

A bit harder to use magic after being in space and stuff for so long, so she often uses a staff (magical artifact) whenever she needs to cast a spell

She always has the ability to slightly affect the gravity field around her; with this ability, she can control how high she jumps and how fast her decent is (Think Steven Universe)

Also can manipulate magnetism. She can induce magnetism in an object, and can (Depending on the phase of the moon) attract metal on her accord.

Can manipulate water, This ability is trickier for her to use, so it’s only really ever useful in a fight when the moon is at a waning/waxing gibbous or a full moon.

Different abilities are granted to her depending on which phase of the moon.

She’s OP when there’s a full moon and at her weakest at a new moon (So basically, the more the moon is showing the more power she has)

When It’s a pink moon(April), she can strongly control plant life and make botonny life grow or die (much like poison Ivy, which she can go toe to toe with on a pink moon. (She had this ability even when the pink moon isn’t out, but it is dulled down dramatically to where she can pretty much only keep a plant above a well-nourished with her power)

Snow moon (February) grants her the ability to freeze things and produce ice (this of correlates with her water ability

The Blue moon helps Luna with her water powers, grants her the ability to easily use them

The Full Wolf Moon (January) doesn’t affect her powers as much as her personality. She looses her usual cool and collected personality and is savage and out for blood.

The Full Hunter’s Moon (in October) heighten her senses, her vision compared to that of a hawk, with super hearing, taste, smell, and touch. She can also easily track things on this day.

SKILLS/HOBBIES

She likes reading, history mostly, along with a French to English dictionary

Jogs every morning

Loves gardening

Quick learner

HABITS

She counts her freckles when bored

Messes around with her powers when she’s anxious

Whenever she’s mad or upset, her language immediately switches back to French and she’ll just angrily rant in French

Braids her hair when nervous

Her freckles glow a bit brighter when she’s happy

LIKES

Flowers

Night time

Swimming

Quiet nights in

Snuggling up with a good book

Classical music

DISLIKES

People who are anti-alien

Noisy areas

Day time

Doesn’t like hen people stare at her, she knows she’s different looking, she doesn’t need to be reminded of it.

Arrogance

STRENGTHS

Full moon

Being near an ocean

Fighting besides her loved ones

Eclipses

WEAKNESSES

She’s weaker in the day time, her powers aren’t fully functioning until night time

She is very vulnerable in the day time

She doesn’t speak very good English, so that has been a road block on more than one occasion

Technology and modern age devises confuse her greatly, she doesn’t understand how Sirius was able to pick them up so easily.

FEARS

Losing control of her powers and hurting the people closest to her

Losing her way and her morals, essentially turning into Cassandra.

TV’s terrify her, when she first saw them, she thought that there were people magically trapped in little boxes and she freaked out. Makayla calmed her down and explained to her that there weren’t actually people living in the boxes, but she still is wary

She’s scared of telling Kori how she feels because she doesn’t want to lose her as a friend

Her past, she wishes to forget it and doesn’t want her friends to find out about the foul deeds she did in her time with Cassandra.

  OTHER FACTS

She was taken away from her village and family at the age of nine by Cassandra

Cassandra had put a curse on her village and refused to lift it, that is, unless they gave her Luna.

Casandra could sense her magical abilities and wanted to be able to harness them for her own needs

Her parents refused at first, but eventually had to due to the number of deaths

Luna is not her original name, Cassandra renamed her this as soon as she was in possession of her

Luna can’t remember her original name

Cassandra spent years training Luna in the magic arts, teaching her both light, and dark magic.

Luna went along with it, playing the part of the obedient student

She even went as far as pretending to be nice to Cassandra

Over time, Cassandra loved Luna like a daughter, treating her as one too

Finally, when Luna felt she was stronger than the great celestial Witch herself, she attacked

The two witches battle, until Cassandra finally beat her, cursing Luna for her betrayal

Luna was cursed to the moon, her physical appearance changing dramatically

Around the end of her 489th year, she gets visions of earth

She is confused at first, but soon figures out what’s happening

She sends short SOS messages telepathically to none other than our girl Makayla Fray

It takes her a few months to free Luna, but she is eventually freed.

Luna lived in France with Cassandra, which is why she speaks French

Luna thinks of team Astro as her family

When she first met Kori, she had complimented her on her beauty, of course, peaking to her in French. Kori, not knowing any French and wanting to talk with Luna, took this as an invitation to… Err… learn the language.

So yeah

Kori kissed Luna upon first meeting her

Luna had a little mini panic attack but calmed down when Kori explained to her in French that this was how she learned a language.

Luna was both relieved, and disappointed by this

She has since then fallen head over heels for the cheerful Tameranian

All of her friends try to teach her how to speak English

She’s gotten better at it over time

[p-arkwoojin]

no one asked for it but here is my top 11 so far (in no particular order, i just want them to make it):

park jihoon/maroo: i want him as center tbh like he fits the idol image, people say we just stan him for his face but like no, yes he’s good looking but he also has so much talent!! beatboxing, popping (dancing in general), he has good vocals and can rap too!! 

park woojin/brandnew music: what else can i say other than he’s my fave brandnew trainee!! i always get hooked on the dancers (half of my top 11 are dancers oops) and this boy just never fails to exceed my expectations 

kang daniel/mmo: what can i say i’m a sucker for bboys not only that but he’s talented af (a rapper that can sing)!! he wasn’t even center but his sorry sorry performance got me shook!! also a cute lil peach and a very supportive dad to little woojin

ong seongwoo/fantagio: four dancers in a row wow but definitely one of my faves, his predebut pics and videos always get me lmao also him as sorry sorry center got me @fantagio why wasn’t he included in astro wtf

lee woojin/media line: okay none of y’all can deny that this baby doesn’t have talent like he’s 15yo (i feel old) and he can do all that, i’m just worried about him going through puberty at this point bc voice cracks and voice changes

jung sewoon/starship: our talented ponyo!! another weakness of mine are guitarists, combine that with good vocals and i’m sold

takada kenta/star road: okay this boy came out of nowhere like i would see gifs of him on here and i would queue it since its p101 related but when they showed that scene where he was teaching sungwoo/him that was it i got hooked, i got interested and now he’s here probably permanently

lee daehwi/brandnew music: my mushroom child, another trainee that fits the idol image!! he’s overflowing with talent, like singing, dancing, even composing!! sad to see his rank dropping tho

woo jinyoung/hf music: my current fave rapper out of all the trainees like he’s cute and chill but his talent is just wow please acknowledge this boy and his talent

kim yongguk/chun: i didn’t understand all the hype around him being a half-er but omg did this boy catch my attention in ep.6 with his talent, why didn’t i know of him before wtf

yoon jisung/mmo: this kid wouldn’t have made my top 11 if some of my faves didn’t get eliminated tbh but he has such a bright personality that its so hard to ignore him, also people should stop generalizing him as a meme and start recognizing his hard work

read more for trainees i have my eye on and eliminated trainees i support

trainees in my radar who might or not have been part of my top11 before:

kim jaehwan/individual trainee: vocal god no.1, i’ve been on the lookout for him ever since the initial evaluation like he got me with that adele cover and just continues to amaze me with every performance

park woodam/the vibe label: vocal god no.2, being the svt stan that i am i was ready to go mad if any of them butchered mansae but this kid killed it like he’s actually this season’s parellel to yoo yunjeong, pls love this child

kim samuel/brave: okay lets be real i’m a hella hardcore carat ofc i’m gonna give love to this child, tbh the only reason he’s not in my top 11 is that it would be hypocritical of me (i don’t want debuted idols to be part of it) but this boy is a definite all rounder, from singing to dancing and even rapping!!

yoon heeseok/jellyfish: i didn’t expect anything from him but his call me baby cover performance was way beyond my expectations

kim taemin/han ahreum: okay tbh he only caught my attention bc of his re-eval video, our second meme but (based on ep.6) i feel like he has a lot of potential

yeo hwanwoong/rbw: i always see posts about him in the produce 101 tag (i religiously go through it every night don’t judge me) but he did such a good job at being center in ep.6 and just wow now i’m interested

lee euiwoong/yuehua: this cutie with a reversal body and voice?? to be very honest i stanned all of yuehua at the beginning but now he’s the only yuehua kid remaining sorry justin idk i think a part of me sees potential and talent in him

eliminated trainees that i was supporting:

kwon hyeop/maroo: same case with yuehua trainees tbh like i stanned the maroo kids since the beginning, its sad that one of them dropped and this kid got eliminated, he’s actually talented imo but mnet sucks at distributing screen time

ha minho/the vibe label: i’m not gonna lie i really liked him before all the scandals about him happened, its such a shame that that overshadowed his talents but i admit he was in the wrong

[junker-town]

Lance Lynn really shouldn’t be looking for a job in January

The ex-Cardinal has been a quietly consistent starter when healthy, and every team could use him. Which team will take the plunge?

Among pitchers who have thrown at least 900 innings since 2012, Lance Lynn ranks 18th in adjusted ERA. He’s just behind Jon Lester and Jose Quintana, just above Chris Archer and Dallas Keuchel. Even though he missed a season rehabbing from Tommy John surgery, he posted another strong campaign, becoming one of just 19 pitchers to post 3 WAR or more in three out of the last four seasons. His company there is Madison Bumgarner, Jake Arrieta, Stephen Strasburg, Zack Greinke, and a few other pitchers you might know.

It is the opinion of SB Nation MLB that Lance Lynn is actually good at baseball, and he can help his team win more than most pitchers would be able to. It’s also the middle of January, and he doesn’t have a job.

Let this be the perfect case for the codified collusion that ol’ Marc was talking about over here. In the modern game, collusion doesn’t mean a bunch of owners sitting around a table discussing how to limit salaries. The collusion has come in the form of negotiations with the Player’s Association held over several years, with a little bit taken here and there, combined with the league-wide revelation that prospects and draft picks can save teams millions and millions of dollars if hoarded correctly. How is it that 30 teams aren’t sure if Lance Lynn can help them? Because they’re concerned that the draft pick(s) they’ll lose might turn into someone who can help them afford the next Lance Lynn. Plus, it’s a lot of money he’s asking for, and, eh, why bother?

Draft-pick compensation will probably cost Lynn $20 million, easy. That’s about as much money as a low-first-round draft pick will save a team, on average. So in exchange for his new team giving up the chance at a valuable prospect, Lynn essentially has to offer a rebate directly back to them. It’s hard to be mad, even. I’m just impressed.

If you don’t like the word “collusion” being thrown about, you can substitute “the owners’ ability to dominate the collective bargaining and win salary suppressing tools that have added up to work better than they ever could have imagined.” Hey, it’s legal. Winning this thoroughly is going to lead to some absolutely nasty labor strife during the next CBA negotiations, but it’s absolutely legal. And it’s amazing how the system almost seems to target players like Lynn (and Alex Cobb and Lorenzo Cain ...) personally.

Here’s another factor that’s hurting Lynn: His old team likely doesn’t want him back. The Cardinals took a belt of distilled, 100-proof arrogance last summer and considered trading Lynn in the middle of a pennant race. They had soooooo many young pitchers, ugh, just spilling out all over the place, and they needed a spot for them, and they figured they could at least explore trading one of their better starters for prospects. They’re set in the rotation, really, even if we all know that their yearly spring training surprise is coming, so the one team that doesn’t have to give up a first-round draft pick probably isn’t interested.

Though, the Cardinals would have to give up the compensation pick they would have got after the second round for Lynn, so even that rule hoses him a bit. So it goes for the lonely free agent who is too qualified to accept the qualifying offer, but not qualified enough to make teams dismiss the draft-pick penalty.

Let’s keep all of this in mind and ask some questions. Who would make the most sense for Lynn? Who is likely to sign him?

The ideal fit for Lynn

This would probably be the Yankees, considering they’re one starter short of a full house and have the money. In theory, at least. In practice, the Yankees are worried about the fake salary cap, the other blunt object being used to whack Lynn about the torso. If Lynn wants the sweet, sweet Mike Leake money that he certainly deserves, the Yankees might be out. They’re hovering around the cap now, and they’ll need to keep some room for midseason acquisitions and prorated major league minimum salaries for whomever they call up.

The Rangers tentatively have two relievers, Mike Minor and Matt Bush, in their rotation, and they’ve filled the rest out with question marks Doug Fister and Matt Moore. They can certainly use another bolt of cost certainty.

The Cubs could replace Jake Arrieta with Lynn and not miss a beat, except Arrieta would cost them only the pick they would otherwise gotten for losing him, which would be dozens of selections after their first-round pick.

If the Astros really don’t swing a trade for Gerrit Cole, Lynn is as comparable as pitchers get in this market. Both pitchers throw hard and throw strikes. Cole would cost top prospects and Lynn would cost a first-round pick. The only difference is that Lynn wants more money, and the difference in financial obligations is why the Astros would consider giving up their best prospects for Cole in the first place.

Look, we can do this for almost every team. The Giants would love Lynn as their fourth starter, except they aren’t going to go over the luxury tax threshold and pay a 50-percent penalty for a pitcher. The Brewers would love Lynn instead of the duct-taped solutions they’re accumulating, but they don’t want to give up the draft pick or the money. The Twins are looking to spend, but why not see if Yu Darvish, who doesn’t cost a pick, chooses them first?

Lynn fits every team.

Lynn fits none of the teams.

He is a useful free agent drifting through space, drifting, drifting, unable to grasp on to anything. This is because teams think that first-rounder Griffin Lazenby (OF - Clemson) will help them save more money and win more games in the future than Lynn will help them win in 2018.

Which is unfortunate for both Lynn and the teams, really. Because one of those teams up there will miss the postseason by a game or two, and the bunk-ass fifth starters they trot out every week will be the difference. Keep a list and laugh at them next October.

The likely fit for Lynn

Maybe the Phillies, who are all-in and have already given up a second-round pick to sign Carlos Santana? Lynn would cost them just a third-round pick, and that’s right around the level that teams stop caring all that much about their precious draft picks.

What we need to find is a team that loves to jump into the middle of an offseason scrum wearing a mystery team lucha mask. A team that’s very much into winning now and doesn’t worry so much about losing their draft picks. A team like the ...

Prediction

Washington Nationals, four years, $68 million. They have a strong rotation already, but we already know they love to strongify it even more. This would be a smaller deal than Mike freaking Leake picked up, even though he never had an adjusted ERA better than any of the ERA+ marks posted by Lynn in his last three seasons, but so it goes in the era of Hyper Draft Pick Awareness, in which teams have all independently become more aware of how young players can save them money, which hurts no one more than a player like Lance Lynn. It’s kind of a drag, and it would benefit the Nationals disproportionately.

They would sure have a sweet rotation, though. It’s why I was thinking Nationals even before the rumors made me feel wise. Lynn would fit every team, but he fits the Nationals better than most, and it’s not surprising that they’re interested.