#NonTrad Homemaking

[sagescented]

The Agoraphobic Fantasy of Tradlife from Dissent Magazine

[samwisethewitch]

Homemaking, gardening, and self-sufficiency resources that won't radicalize you into a hate group

It seems like self-sufficiency and homemaking skills are blowing up right now. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the current economic crisis, a lot of folks, especially young people, are looking to develop skills that will help them be a little bit less dependent on our consumerist economy. And I think that's generally a good thing. I think more of us should know how to cook a meal from scratch, grow our own vegetables, and mend our own clothes. Those are good skills to have.

Unfortunately, these "self-sufficiency" skills are often used as a recruiting tactic by white supremacists, TERFs, and other hate groups. They become a way to reconnect to or relive the "good old days," a romanticized (false) past before modern society and civil rights. And for a lot of people, these skills are inseparably connected to their politics and may even be used as a tool to indoctrinate new people.

In the spirit of building safe communities, here's a complete list of the safe resources I've found for learning homemaking, gardening, and related skills. Safe for me means queer- and trans-friendly, inclusive of different races and cultures, does not contain Christian preaching, and does not contain white supremacist or TERF dog whistles.

Homemaking/Housekeeping/Caring for your home:

Making It by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen [book] (The big crunchy household DIY book; includes every level of self-sufficiency from making your own toothpaste and laundry soap to setting up raised beds to butchering a chicken. Authors are explicitly left-leaning.)

Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust [book] (A guide to simple home repair tasks, written with rentals in mind; very compassionate and accessible language.)

How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [book] (The book about cleaning and housework for people who get overwhelmed by cleaning and housework, based on the premise that messiness is not a moral failing; disability and neurodivergence friendly; genuinely changed how I approach cleaning tasks.)

Gardening

Rebel Gardening by Alessandro Vitale [book] (Really great introduction to urban gardening; explicitly discusses renter-friendly garden designs in small spaces; lots of DIY solutions using recycled materials; note that the author lives in England, so check if plants are invasive in your area before putting them in the ground.)

Country/Rural Living:

Woodsqueer by Gretchen Legler [book] (Memoir of a lesbian who lives and works on a rural farm in Maine with her wife; does a good job of showing what it's like to be queer in a rural space; CW for mentions of domestic violence, infidelity/cheating, and internalized homophobia)

"Debunking the Off-Grid Fantasy" by Maggie Mae Fish [video essay] (Deconstructs the off-grid lifestyle and the myth of self-reliance)

Sewing/Mending:

Annika Victoria [YouTube channel] (No longer active, but their videos are still a great resource for anyone learning to sew; check out the beginner project playlist to start. This is where I learned a lot of what I know about sewing.)

Make, Sew, and Mend by Bernadette Banner [book] (A very thorough written introduction to hand-sewing, written by a clothing historian; lots of fun garment history facts; explicitly inclusive of BIPOC, queer, and trans sewists.)

Sustainability/Land Stewardship

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer [book] (Most of you have probably already read this one or had it recommended to you, but it really is that good; excellent example of how traditional animist beliefs -- in this case, indigenous American beliefs -- can exist in healthy symbiosis with science; more philosophy than how-to, but a great foundational resource.)

Wild Witchcraft by Rebecca Beyer [book] (This one is for my fellow witches; one of my favorite witchcraft books, and an excellent example of a place-based practice deeply rooted in the land.)

Avoiding the "Crunchy to Alt Right Pipeline"

Note: the "crunchy to alt-right pipeline" is a term used to describe how white supremacists and other far right groups use "crunchy" spaces (i.e., spaces dedicated to farming, homemaking, alternative medicine, simple living/slow living, etc.) to recruit and indoctrinate people into their movements. Knowing how this recruitment works can help you recognize it when you do encounter it and avoid being influenced by it.

"The Crunchy-to-Alt-Right Pipeline" by Kathleen Belew [magazine article] (Good, short introduction to this issue and its history.)

Sisters in Hate by Seyward Darby (I feel like I need to give a content warning: this book contains explicit descriptions of racism, white supremacy, and Neo Nazis, and it's a very difficult read, but it really is a great, in-depth breakdown of the role women play in the alt-right; also explicitly addresses the crunchy to alt-right pipeline.)

These are just the resources I've personally found helpful, so if anyone else has any they want to add, please, please do!

[etherealsadchick]

Sometimes I get scared when i see myself already planning on marriage.

Like I'm turning 19 this year so, I'm not even in my 20s, and uust got into university, but i have this strong desire, to just get married lol.

Sometimes I even feel ashamed to admit it cuz most girls my age seem to want to be independent or get married after they are done with their education and stuff, and it feels foolish of me that I want to throw that all away and become a housewife, I'm embarssed at myself when i think "i don't want to work i want to start a family and take care of them"

Maybe because I romanticised the idea of marriage a little way too much in my head, but I also can't move out due to the nature of my household, maybe because I look at marriage as my only way to actually out to start living, healing and growing the way I want it to be, I hope that I'm right about this though.

Especially the healing part, I believe that having kids itself would help me, i love taking care of people and i think that having kids where i would pour my uncoditional love for and treat them with gentleness and kidness might actually heal me, and i also think that parenting might make me discover parts of myself that i haven't known.

But hell either way i need to bust my ass to get that degree but everyday I'm yearning for that life while I'm studying

[practical-hearthcraft]

not to brag but I've perfected my crusty farmhouse loaf for the family daily driver. ft. homemade wax wrap.

[crazycatsiren]

Tradwives get blocked on sight.

I hate your white supremacist guts.

[homesteadingqueer]

Homesteading Resources Master Post

So, I have been really into homesteading lately, you call it a hyperfixation, I call it free dopamine. This is my masterlist of sources for different aspects of homesteading life. I plan on making a life in the city homesteading masterlist too. Please be careful when canning a preserving food, I am not an expert, but these sources seemed credible so be sure to can with caution.

Happy Homesteading!

General

Homesteading 101

Skills to Develop

Farmers Market Directory

Ways to make a Profit

Farmer's Almanac

Livestock

Livestock Pros and Cons

Meat Rabbit Guide

Pigs Guide

Chicken Guide

Ducks Guide

Goat Guide

Sheep Guide

Meat Cow Guide

Milk Cow Guide

Gardening

Composting

USA Planting Zones

Europe Planting Zones

Homemade Pest Control

High Yield Garden

High Yield Vegetables

Pollinator Garden

Canning

Canning 101

Fruit

Vegetables

Kitchen

Veggie Recipes

Bone Broth

Wheat to Bread

Sustainability

Self Sufficiency

Reduce, Reuse, Recycling

Clothes Mending

Crafts

Cross Stitch

Embroidery

Whittling

Crochet

Quilting

Knitting

[cozyhestia]

Someone has to keep the home fires burning, create places of rest and stability, in an ever changing world. And for now, that’s enough.

Dispatches of a Feral Housewife

[littlehouseontheaerie]

Spouse is making me an autocross widow on Saturday and I’m excited to have a day to myself.

What all should I do? Current ideas (for brainstorming):

Take the dog for a sniff and stroll

Outdoor holiday decor

Some Pinterest crafts

Hem my tea gown so I can be a fancy lady.

Send all her Christmas presents to my bestie/her family

Recycle a bunch of cloth

Picnic with takeout lunch

Pull some tarot cards.

Make cookie boxes for the office

???

[fibre-foxx]

A hot breakfast and a cold morning.

Usually the first snow of the year doesn't stick; but after this three day downpour of the white stuff, I think it is probably here to stay. I've been sitting on the balcony more; enjoying the winter coat I got last year, and drinking in the peace and quiet that the snow brings to everything.

[sagescented]

The False Escapism of Soft Girls and Tradwives from Time Magazine

[samwisethewitch]

As someone who loves to cook but has very bad spatial awareness due to ADHD, I get my clothes absolutely filthy every time I'm in the kitchen. An apron would fix this, but I'm genuinely having trouble finding one online that doesn't give off tradwife influencer/Waldorf homeschool mom/evangelical cult of womanhood vibes. Does anyone know where I can find an apron that will keep my clothes clean but like. in a way that says "I'm a queer disabled woman who loves vaccines"?

[etherealsadchick]

Sorry not sorry

But women who say that they don't wanna have kids annoy me, not because of their choice, but because they speak about it so badly

For context, I was on tiktok the other day and I saw a video of this girl talking about having a fear of pregnancy, genuine phobia, I didn't mind tbh, it's understandable and fine.

But tell me why the fuck did some homegirl went in the comments and said "I'd never get pregnant, breastfeeding makes me feel like a cow"

Woah, such a statement to make, dehumanizing women even, so you're calling all the women that breastfeed, including YOUR mother cows ? As if not all mammals breastfeed ???

And don't get me started on when a woman shares her bad experience with pregnancy or someone taking about "pregnancy facts" and they would go in the comments and be like "bring the girl with the list"

"Reasons to not get pregnant"

Like dude, chill, not if it happened to those women means it's happening to you.

The point that I'm trying to make is, if you don't want kids, or don't wanna get pregnant, it's totally fine because it's genuinely a hard decision and requries time, health and responsibility, but I feel like it's gotten to a point where it's like a huge echo chamber of only negative reviews of pregnancy and even internalised misogyny if you squint a little ( dunno how to explain it properly )

Like honestly if i don't wanna get pregnant, i would look at every possible way that pregnancy could be bad, but most of them take it as if it's FACTS

Dude trust me, women have kids everyday, yes cases like this happen, some women get horrible pregnancies

But you can also hear other positive stories about pregnancies, some women say how they felt more stable and happy while pregnant, having smooth and painless births...etc.

My point is I feel they go to the extreme to express their dislike of kids and being pregnant sometimes it feels like projection, I don't know which word to describe what I mean but if you get it you get it 😭

[practical-hearthcraft]

2025 is going to be about revisiting previously attempted hobbies and focusing on the fun element, as opposed to whether or not I'm any good. So I'm doing my homework now as I'm hoping to clear some ground in the garden and grow some things.

[crazycatsiren]

A quick FYI for my fellow femme/feminine/homemaking gals: if you're interested in the old school stuff, it's way better to use words like classic, vintage, old fashioned. You really don't want to associate with "trad" anything these days because that's basically an alt-right, white nationalism, toxic femininity, pro patriarchy dogwhistle.

[achronicwriter]

Week-long whole house reset beginning tomorrow. Today I'm going around the house and yard making a to-do list.

[cozyhestia]

I wish someone I knew was having a baby! I'm feeling the urge to make a baby quilt. Alas, all of my close friends are single or not planning on kids in the near future! Are there any organizations where one could create a baby quilt that is donated to a mother in need?