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writingsfromhome · 4 years ago

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Plus a Little Extra I

Part 2 / Part 3/ Part 4

A/N: The YA reader in me can’t stop writing YA Harry so here’s another high school fic, Harry’s your bffl but just as he gets into a relationship you realise there’s some more-than-friends feelings between you two. But it might be too late. Part 1 of 3 maybe?

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I was in love with my best friend and there was nothing I could do about it.

I know, it sounded like a lame cliche. But this cliche was painful and I had to live it everyday, watch him walk up to his girlfriend and kiss her for everyone in the hallways to see. And then third-wheel them all the way to homeroom.

It was another Monday, painful and boring as usual, and I wait in the parking lot for Harry to finish parking his car before he hops out, nearly forgetting his backpack.

“It surprises me that thing still runs,” I look at his car in pity. “You really should just let it go already.”

“For your information,” Harry pushes me. “My car is a she and I will love her for as long as she keeps giving.”

“That’s what he said,” I roll my eyes as we walk into the double doors of high school. “Men.”

“I meant about my car,” Harry tries to clarify but I keep teasing.

“Uh-huh, hey look there’s May, should I tell her what you just told me about how you treat your women.”

“That big mouth is going to get you in trouble one day,” Harry wags his finger at me. My heart drops as his girlfriend May approaches and kisses his cheek. He immediately responds to her, pulling her in for a kiss.

I drag my eyes away, “See you kids later.”

As cool as I tried to make myself appear, I felt like dying inside. Seeing Harry with someone else suckerpunched me every time.

And it really isn’t what you think, it’s not like I’d harbored a secret crush and didn’t have the balls to ask him out. I’d only realised I had a crush on Harry near the end of the summer and by September he’d already started dating her.

Harry and I were best friends since we were seven, and even though we ran in different circles in high school, we managed to remain just as tight. I always thought he would be my best friend forever. Nothing else. But everything had changed one warm evening last August...

Two Months Ago

“Who do you have homeroom with?” Harry asks. I just got off my shift at a music store I worked at part time. Harry sometimes walked me home and waited for me to change so we could hang out in the evening. Usually we stayed in and watched The Office or Friends, sometimes we went to parties.

“Mr. Lee,” I groan. Schedules had just been released that morning.

“Really?” Harry jumps in front of me and walks backwards. “I’ve got him too!”

We do a mini-celebration dance on the sidewalk as we realise we had two other classes with each other. Maybe this year wouldn’t be so bad if Harry was by my side. Partners in crime.

“Partners in crime again,” Harry reads my mind. “It’ll be like middle school all over again.”

“Except there’s no way you’re copying any of my homework!”

“I can be persuasive when the time comes. I’m not worrying.”

“And I can be stubborn when the time comes!” I stick my tongue out at him as we reach my house.

“I know that all too well.”

I give Harry the finger and he makes himself comfortable in my room while I freshen up.

***

“How do you know her again?” I ask Harry as we make our way to the bus to take us to a house party he’d been invited too.

“She was in my biology class,” Harry shrugs. “She sent a dm on Instagram and said I should come with friends.”

“You know she meant um, male friends?”

“Yeah...?” Harry looks over with a confused face and I push him away from me. He laughs, “You’re close enough.”

“So not what a girl wants to hear.”

We end up talking about the upcoming school year all the way to the party. It was in a nice part of town; a pool party because whoever had invited Harry had money for a built-in pool to fit however many people were here. With the cars parked around the block...a lot. As soon as we walk in, people assault Harry and I wander away to find people I knew. This was a common occurence-we would find each other eventually.

I spot a few of my friends and we get to talking.

“It’s May’s place,” one of my friends says. “Like May Lemont?”

“The one that says every french word with that fake accent?” My other friend scrunchles her nose.

“Yeah like we get it, your dad’s French.”

“She’s never even lived in France.”

I’d only shared a couple classes with May, didn’t know her enough to share in the gossip so I excuse myself to get a drink.

“Drinking alone?” A voice asks. My heart skips a beat, I’d know that voice anywhere. James, my childhood crush, stood on the other side of the island.

“I’m going back to my friends.” Stupid thing to say-that’s not how you flirt!

“Can I suggest a counter offer?” I raise my eyebrow at James’ question and he walks closer to me. “We take our drinks into the pool and get to know each other.”

This is...kinda random, I think. No, I accidentally say out loud. Shit!

But James just laughs. “A little birdy told me you were looking for me?”

I stay silent, who would have told him that? Harry? They were on the same football team but he swore he wouldn’t say anything to James about my crush. I was going to kill him!

“Right...well why not!” I rush out back and holy cow, dozens of my classmates crowd the wide space. May’s parents must be really well off.

I spot Harry talking to a group of his people, May lingering nearby. I consider going up to her but James calls me over and I stand by the pool.

“Are you not coming in?” He asks.

I feel self conscious as I take my denim shorts off and reveal the bottom half of my one piece. This was James. Here. Watching me-quite intensely. Inviting me to be in the pool with him! Miracles did come true!

We float around with our drinks, splash each other and he lays it on heavy with the flirting. We eventually find a float that I sit on but he just leans on it.

“Kind of like Jack and Rose isn’t it?” James smiles, his dimples are deep enough to hold the pool we’re in.

“There’s plenty of room on this door,” I gesture to the empty space beside me.

“I’ll take the hero’s end,” James grins. “It’s more sexy isn’t it?”

“Sexy is staying alive-“

“Incoming!” Someone shouts from the other side and suddenly water shoots up around me. I blink and the float is nowhere around me as I sink into the pool.

I push my way up and spit out the water in my mouth, trying to catch my breath. I move the hair from my eyes to see who just disrupted my peace, deep down knowing who it was.

“Round two!”

My head is once again underwater but I’m slightly more prepared. I hold my breath and open my eyes to Harry’s sea green eyes mocking me as he kicks up but I grab his leg and pull him down before kicking away and up myself.

“Y/N you alright?” James asks when I surface. “Harry what’s the matter with you?”

“It’s okay,” I laugh. Harry could never go into a pool without pranking me somehow. “I’m alright. It’s just Harry being Harry.”

“Harry,” James says as Harry finally stops rubbing his eyes. “You’re wild.”

“James,” Harry goes in, slapping hands and slick chests. “You should join, dunk Y/N like-“

I push away, knowing what Harry was going to do. James locks eyes with me and we both have the same though, advancing on him and dunking him in ourselves. I laugh, my heart soaring as James looks at me as if really seeing me, finally. But then he goes under.

I splash Harry as he surfaces and accidentally splash the people behind him who in turn splash us and before we know it we’ve created a pool fight around us. More people jump into the pool to join in.

I can barely see and try to make it to safety but Harry makes it to me first and takes me down with him. When we surface, he’s mere inches away, his chest pumping as hard as mine.

His hand is around my back as we cling to the only safety in pool fights—the pool wall.

“Look what you’ve done,” Harry nods to the fight around us but he doesn’t take his eyes off of me. Not to look around at “what I’ve done” or see if we were in danger.

We’d been in this position before, Harry’s hands on some part of me and eyes locked. When we were trying to sneak out, arm wrestling to settle who was stronger, dancing at parties. But it never felt like this. Like his hand was spreading fire everywhere it touched and our eyes were decoding a language created right there between us.

“I should say you started it,” I lay my hand on his chest. I had no control over what I was doing. It’s just Harry, my head is shouting. My body pulses otherwise and I just wanted to get closer to Harry. I felt myself being pulled to him. I felt out of control.

“You’ve always been a troublemaker,” Harry mutters. And there, right there, his gaze falls to my lips and my heart is out of my chest and flopping like a fish in the water around us. I’d never thought of Harry like this, him and I. He was handsome-I wasn’t stupid. But he was my best friend. And this wasn’t supposed to happen...

My leg is yanked, hard, and I slip out of Harry’s arms. I manage a small breath before I’m underwater again, now staring at Harry’s knees. Someone pulls my arm away and I see it was James who had pulled me down. He winks at me and I probably looked dazed. I had no idea what was happening. Below or above water.

But James must have interpreted the dreamy look in my eye for him because he locks me into him and slowly presses his lips to mine. James. Kissing me. Underwater.

14 year old Y/N would be faint with pure excitement right now. And I can’t deny the attraction so I close my eyes and kiss him back. It was what I always wanted. And it was romantic and so perfect. Except for the part where I turn away to go up for air and catch Harry swimming back to the surface. He’d seen us.

What had I gotten myself into now.

I call Harry’s name when I surface but it was like he’d sprinted away because he’s too far away to hear.

“Y/N?” James surfaces beside me. “Are you okay? You’re shivering.”

“I-“ I realise I was. The adrenaline was too much, and now I was crashing with the realisation that something between Harry and I had just been changed. Maybe forever. “I just need to get out of the water, I’ll meet you back here.”

I pull myself out and walk into the house clutching my shorts, no longer conscious of my one-piece. I needed to find Harry, ask if we were on the same page because it felt like we’d suddenly split off into two separate series that didn’t feature one another. And I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why.

He’s nowhere to be found though, so I find an empty washroom and lock myself in it. I sit at the edge of the bathtub and fish my phone out to see if Harry messaged but 0 notifications.

I face myself in the mirror. My usual criticism of my body doesn’t come, I can’t stop staring at my face-I’d kissed James today. My face splits into a grin. At least there was that.

***

“There you are,” James must have searched for me. I stayed locked in the tiny room for at least a half hour just sorting the evening in my head. I bump into him in the den and he immediately places his hands on my hips. I swallow the insecurity I felt and smile at him, wrapping my arms around him too.

“Here I am, kind of had an emergency sorry.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, it was more like a personal crisis. “Have you seen Harry?”

“Why?” James asks. I tilt my head, he almost sounded offended. And when I don’t answer he tell me, “I saw him outside.”

“Let’s go hang outside,” I slip my hand into his and flash a pretty smile. He relaxes and pulls me into a kiss, a gentle nudge, before leading me outside.

A group of people sit around an outdoor firepit. I spot Harry’s grin as he laughs at something one of his footbal friends say. He’s shirtless-something I’d seen countless of times, but the flicker of the fire reflected off the water droplets on his chest makes him look like the hot stud in a cheesy teen movie. I clear my head.

“James!” One of his friends calls out and he lets go of my hand to chest bump him. Or whatever.

Harry’s eyes follow the commotion and he sees me. I raise my eyebrows and he smiles, like nothing was wrong. Like I imagined the whole thing. But when his eyes flicker to James hand as it drapes over my shoulder again, his face falls ever so slightly. And I know I wasn’t crazy. Something did happen.

Someone else calls out to James and he leaves my side again. I decide to walk over to Harry but before I could take a step, May settles beside him and says something that makes him laugh. A small voice inside urges me to break it up but I ignore it. May invited Harry, they obviously knew each other. I was getting ahead of myself. It wasn’t like they were going to get together.

***

“What you thinking about?” James asks later that night. It was way past midnight, most of the party had gone home and the remaining stragglers surround the firepit that was burning just as bright as before. It was a lot of the football team, their girlfriends, and a group of seniors that usually stuck together.

“Nothing,” I lie. I was thinking about Harry’s arm around May’s shoulders and the blanket around both of them that she brought out a little while ago. It makes my chest feel like it was being squeezed in a vice. It was a confusing way to feel about my best friend in the whole world. Maybe I was being possessive but maybe...my mind shifts to the pool. James hand on my thigh brings me back to the present.

“You’re so quiet,” he says. I look at his hand and thread my fingers through his.

“I like watching the fire,” I say honestly. “It’s kind of mesmerizing.”

“Like you,” James turns in place so his knees bump into mine. I look up and he looks at me with open adoration. “I really like you Y/N.”

“I...really like you too James,” I say. “For a while actually.”

“I know. Me too,” James’ response surprises me. He laughs at my surprise. “I’ve seen you in school, you keep to your people but I always thought you were funny. When you put down Ricky in English class...”

“Oh right,” my cheeks burn when I remember. I’d been appalled when the teacher allowed Ricky to give his disgusting interpretation of the book we were reading. Everyone listened with eyes bulging and I’d called him a pig...and a few other things. I forgot James had been in that class.

“It’s cool! We all gave him shit at practice that day,” he nudges me. “You’re hard to miss.”

“So why did you just approach me today?”

“Well...like I said someone told me you-“

“Who?”

“Eh,” James looks around uncomfortably. “Okay, May told me you were crushing on me. I could never read you so I didn’t know-“

“Wait, like May who threw the party?” I ask. James nods and I glance over to her leaning her head on Harry’s shoulder. That bitch! Wait, I realise the only way she would’ve know was Harry. My rage at May quickly flips to hurt at Harry’s betrayal.

“Y/N?” James calls my name. “Is something wrong?”

“I just...don’t know how May knew that. I don’t talk to her.”

“Oh, probably Harry,” James says as if it were just as obvious to him. My hurt doubles. “May’s crazy about him, always shows up to our practices and games and I think she thought you and Harry were a couple or something. Since you guys spend so much time together. She only told me cuz I thought the same thing, I didn’t believe her when she said you had a cr-“

“You thought Harry and I were together?” I ask.

“Or into each other or something, you two are always sneaking off places.”

I try to wrap my head around it all. Is that how people saw us? Did Harry know?

“So anyway I was wondering if you’re free tomorrow?” James asks. “A few of us are going to the beach at six.”

“Oh, my shift ends at 6:30.” I glance at Harry again and back to James.

“We can catch up to them, I’ll pick you up. Just text me where you work. Here, I’ll put my number in.”

I get his number and try to act casual, trying to convince him and myself I was unfazed by all the new info but my mind races and my hurt twists its way around my body. Mostly, the lump in my throat makes a home there and doesn’t let me forget.

I couldn’t act normal for much longer so I tell James I was going to head home. He offers to walk me to the bus stop but I refuse. I needed to be alone. But as soon as I turn the corner of the street someone calls my name. Harry comes running down, out of breath.

“You didn’t even tell me you were leaving, I thought we were going home together?” Harry says when he catches up.

“You looked cozy with May,” I say casually. “I didn’t want to break it up.”

“James didn’t even offer to walk you home? It’s not safe this late. Let me grab my shirt just stay here.”

“He did but like I told him, I’m-“ Harry’s sprinting back before I can finish. My stomach turns, I didn’t want to ride back with him with all the unspoken words between us. But he was right, it was unsafe. So I wait.

“So. James?” Harry starts off as we wait for the bus. “Did you finally tell him you like him like I keep telling you to?”

“No.” I answer curtly. I didn’t want to get into it but he keeps pushing.

“But I saw he finally kissed you,” Harry nudges me. “You spent all night with him. You didn’t say anything?”

“I didn’t need to. Apparently he heard from someone I was crushing on him.” I don’t even look at Harry and he picks up on the accusation right away.

“Wait you don’t think I told him?” Harry asks. “I swore on my signed poster of Friends, don’t think I’m giving that up so easily.”

I roll my eyes so I wouldn’t crack a smile. But I remember how easily he gave up my trust, and with that the cursed tear falls onto my cheek. I wipe it away quickly but not before he sees.

“What is it? What aren’t you saying, Y/N? Did James do something to you?”

“No!” I shout. “He’s great, James is lovely. A gentleman. He told me May told him. And the only person who could have told May is...”

“Me,” Harry faces me, his eyes apologetic. “I swear Y/N I didn’t think she was actually going to tell him. She was convinced I was-we were a couple. When she didn’t believe me I told her how you’d been in love with James since-“

“But why would she tell James?” I demand. “That wasn’t her secret to tell! It wasn’t yours either!”

“I don’t know!” Harry shouts, the guilt stressing him out. “Maybe she thought she was being helpful? Maybe she was just being nice!”

“God Harry are you that bloody naive?” I finally stare at him. “You totally broke my trust! Told some girl I don’t even know and she told James! What if he didn’t like me back? That would’ve been...oh my god that would’ve been so embarassing! She just wanted to have you for herself so she blabbed her mouth and you told her.” I jab his chest, tears pouring out of me like a broken faucet. “I trusted you and you told someone just because you thought she was...hot!”

I can’t stand his face. I step out of the bus stop and start walking; I would just walk home even if it took me an hour. We’d gotten into plenty of fights over the years but never like this, on a level this deep. And I didn’t want to be around him. It hurt too much. So I keep walking.

“I didn’t mean to betray your trust! Y/N! I didn’t even think she cared enough to tell James!” Harry’s voice gets closer as he catches up to me. He stops in front of me, holding my shoulders. “Why are you crying? I’m really sorry Y/N I’ll make it up to you I promise. I wasn’t thinking when I told her-it just came out when I was talking. I would never try to hurt you purposely.”

“I know!” I try to shake him off. “That’s not the point!”

“Then what is?” Harry shakes my shoulders and I look up at him. He scans my face in confusion. As the anger leaves my body, the hurt remains. Not only about Harry telling May my secret, but that it was May. It felt like he was leaving me behind and even though it made no sense I couldn’t shake the feeling. It felt like he was leaving me for May.

Harry wipes the tears from my cheek and pulls me into his chest. I bury my face there, he was my best friend and I was starting to realise I felt for him more than a best friend. And I was screwed. And it was all his fault.

“I’m sorry,” Harry repeats as he holds me to him.

Just one evening had rocked the foundation of our friendship, leaving fractures along the whole thing. This was a turning point, I realise as Harry holds me, and I think I was just mourning that.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #writingsfromhome #fic #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff

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skullrock · 5 years ago

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the swimsuit - Steve x Reader

Pairing: Steve x Reader

request: heeeey! so i was thinking about steve calling phoebe cates hot and him running into that cardboard of her, so, can you write something where steve is at a pool party and he sees reader coming out of the pool and walking up to him in a red bikini like in fast times and he’s totally heart eyes. so they end up making out in the bathroom next to the pool. thanks!

word count: 1.5k

warnings: steamy! and swearing

a/n: feeling HOT

===

Steve hasn’t used his pool since Barb died Junior year. So when Dustin wants to go swimming, he takes him to the community pool.

It’s gross, and people almost certainly pee in it, but it’s something to do on a hot summer day, and there are plenty of women to look at and flirt with.

“You’re pathetic,” Dustin says beside him, lounging on a lawn chair.

“I’m pathetic?” Steve scoffs. “Why?”

“You’re trying to find a girlfriend at a public pool.”

“Yeah? Yeah, and you found a girlfriend at a camp no one has ever heard of. Shut it, pipsqueak.”

Dustin scrunches his face up in offense. “For your information, Steven, my girlfriend is –“

Steve slams his hands down on the arm rests of the chair he’s in. “Hotter than Phoebe Cates. I get it, Dustin, Jesus. But here’s the thing, buddy: there’s no girl in real life that’s hotter than Phoebe Cates. You hear me? There is no girl that is –“

You step out of the pool directly in front of Steve. You’re wearing a red bikini and your hair is slicked back on your head from the water. Steve’s breath hitches in his throat and his face turns red just at the sight of you, matching your swimsuit. You lock eyes and it’s your turn to blush now, looking down at the concrete as you hurry off to your chair for a towel. Steve watches you, doing that cliché thing where he pulls his sunglasses off as he watches you go.

“There’s no girl that’s hotter than Phoebe Cates, right?” Dustin says smugly beside Steve.

Steve can’t reply – he’s too entranced. He watches you, eyes maybe a bit too keen on your ass, as you dry yourself off. He cannot comprehend how someone as gorgeous as you is in Hawkins, Indiana. He continues to stare as you lounge in the sun, completely ignoring Dustin talking to him about who knows what. Some stupid science stuff, probably.

You make eye contact with him again and you bite your lip – why is this cute boy looking at you like that? You look away, eyes directed towards the locker rooms, and you look back at Steve. He looks towards the locker room, too, and he furrows his brows in confusion. You jerk your head towards them and stand up, walking in their direction. Steve stumbles off of his chair quickly and nearly runs towards you.

“Hey!” Dustin shouts. “Where are you going?”

“Uh,” Steve says, drawing it out as he racks his brain for an excuse. “I’m – bathroom.”

Dustin scrunches his face up again but rolls his eyes at Steve and pulls out a comic book.

Steve rushes to the locker rooms, sandals slipping slightly on water. He composes himself as he struts in, shoulders back, posture poised. He doesn’t want to seem too needy and desperate – although that’s exactly what he is. He finds you in a corner by the showers and he approaches, giving a signature lopsided grin.

“Haven’t seen you around here before,” he says, leaning up against the tile.

“I’m from the town over,” you explain, looking him up and down, soaking in his broad chest and toned arms. “But our town pool is closed.”

“Needed a swim that bad, huh?”

“I was feeling a little… hot.”

Steve falters at the phrase, eyes widening and knees buckling. He licks his lips and runs a hand through his hair, and your eyes fix on it. He’s cute. He’s handsome. He’s hot. He’s sexy.

“But, as it would turn out,” you sigh, “I’m still feeling pretty hot.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks lowly, licking his lips again. “And why’s that?”

Your eyes fall to his trunks, his bulge prominent under the thin fabric, and his train on your bikini top, enjoying the cleavage. You bite your lip and look up at him, locking eyes. “Because a guy like you shouldn’t be allowed to wear trunks like that.”

Steve groans and then his mouth is on yours in an instant. Your back is pushed up against the wall and you kiss back roughly, hands winding up through his hair. Steve’s hands fly to your ass and he grips it tightly, making you laugh slightly. It’s teeth and tongue, sloppy and rushed, but it’s thrilling and makes you way too hot for a summer day. Your head spins and you grip onto him tighter, pressing back firmly into the wall now, and Steve wraps one of your legs around his waist. He pushes himself against you and you both groan. You circle your hips and grind on Steve, making him gasp. His hips sputter against yours and you feel his hard-on right on your core. It makes you moan loudly, and it spurs him on – he does it again and you swear you can see stars.

You both hear someone come in and he pushes himself off of you, a hand flying down to cover his hard on up while you both stand and pretend to talk. Your eyes sparkle with mischief and Steve smirks, the tips of his ears pink.

“Do you always seduce men into locker rooms to kiss them?” he teases.

“Only the cute ones,” you reply, bouncing on the balls of your feet. You glance behind him and watch the intruder leave once again before pulling Steve to you, kissing again. His hands go back to your ass and he feels you up, making your breath catch. His lips go to your neck and your eyes roll back, a smile growing on your face.

“What’s your name?” you moan, nails digging into his shoulders as he sucks on a sweet spot.

“Steve,” he says into your skin. “Yours?”

“Y/N.”

“Had me fooled,” he says, kissing back up to your lips. “Thought you were Phoebe Cates for a second.”

“Oh, I’m not that hot,” you laugh.

Steve cocks a brow, challenging your assumption. He presses his hard-on against you again with a wicked smile. “I beg to differ.”

You push him backwards so that he’s sitting on a bench and you straddle him, resuming your makeout. You grind down on him, both of you moaning into each other’s mouths at the friction. Steve can’t believe his luck, truthfully – it’s been a minute since he snuck away with a girl to fool around. You can’t believe yours, either – a man as charming and as cute as this sitting beneath you, hands cupping your ass and you glide back and forth – it nearly too much to handle.

“Are you okay?” he asks suddenly, stilling your movements with his hands on your hips. “Like, this is okay, right?”

The ask of consent makes you even more turned on and you nod furiously, curling a strand of his hair. “Are you okay?”

“More than okay,” he replies, bucking his hips up, making you gasp. “Do you maybe – like, if you want – maybe we can – go somewhere? To… finish this?”

You giggle and nod. “Meet me here tomorrow evening – seven? And we can go somewhere to… finish.”

He nods furiously and you kiss a while more, caressing each other, you hopping off when someone would come in as Steve covered himself with cupped hands. Eventually he decides he needs to go before Dustin tells the group that he had sex in the locker room – which isn’t necessarily wrong, but it’s not true, either.

“Gotta go,” he breathes, kissing all over your face before planting one more on your lips. “I came with my friend – I mean, this kid I babysit – and I need to take him home.”

You smirk but let him up anyway, and he takes a moment to gather himself, cheeks puffed out as he smiles dorkily at you. You furrow your brows and grab his hand. “You can be a dork, you know. You’re allowed.”

He scoffs. “I’m not a –“

“Dorky guys who lean into it are really hot, Steve.”

Steve’s brows raise. “You mean it?”

You nod.

“Consider me sexy, then,” he says, and shoots finger guns. “Because I’m the dorkiest bastard alive.”

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it,” you tease, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Tomorrow at seven.”

Steve walks back to Dustin with a spring in his step, which immediately deflates as Dustin turns to him, pupils flaring. “You were gone for forty-five minutes, man!”

Steve freezes. “I had to pee.”

“With her?” he asks, pointing towards you, packing up your things. “What, did you need her to hold your hand or something?”

“Alright!” Steve says, shaking his head. “You tell anyone, you’re dead.”

“I won’t tell anyone if you admit that there are people out there who are hotter than Phoebe Cates.”

Steve sighs heavily, glancing over at you with a faint smile. “Okay. There are definitely people out there hotter than Phoebe Cates.”

===

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#steve harrington #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #look at me GO!!!#two in one night babey #writing up a STORM #hope u enjoy anon xox #my fics

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kpopgerapitico · 4 years ago

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Song of the Week

Lots of idol stuff this week, so let’s get into.

Honorable Mentions:

The song that makes me the most confused this week goes to Love Me Once Again. It is 90s boy group ballad coming out in the year 2021 of our lord, fully in English on a Korean music YouTube channel. Starring Yun Min Soo, and BOYS II MEN?!?!?!! I’m thoroughly confused, and also it is a 90s power ballad, which sounds so like the 90s that it makes me think it is just a song I missed, and not a new track.

Rain Song has the traditional Epik High beat, and a dreamy feel like some of their more somber work previously. I like the chorus with Colde, but not the verse quite as much, no matter how much I love Tablo. I’m impressed how consistent Epik High has been for years (over a decade?), but I do sometimes get tired of so many songs with such a similar feel. Also, I can’t take Tukutz playing piano seriously. I’ve seen too many interviews where he has maybe half a braincell, so seeing him be serious is hard.

DPR Live may not always be my style, but damn if DPR on the whole doesn’t have some of the best MVs in Korea by a long shot. Every single one has a distinctive style that is kept throughout. Yellow Cab is psychedelic filters over bright colors in just slightly strange sets. And when the color is pulled, it is for a reason. If you haven’t seen a DPR video before, this is a decent place to start, and while not my style, the track is good as well.

Idk if Break Ice is an idol track or not, because technically Second Wife Kim DaBi is the lead on it, but ITZY features heavily. I think the start of the chorus is interesting, and the rest didn’t keep my attention.

Idol Roundup:

- Chase by Dongkiz: This is a little too cute for me, but the bass-y synth chorus is pretty cool

- Hello Future by NCT Dream: I really like the chorus, but the rest feels like filler to get between the choruses, and the video confuses me.

- Xtra by AleXa: She still isn’t my thing I think. BM is just there though, which is a nice bonus

- 13IVI by BM: I want to like this more than I do. Look at him go tho.

- Free Pass by DRIPPIN: Very cute, and not a whole lot else

- Veronica by ONEWE: Another sweet summer track, only this time with band vibes

- Vamos by OMEGA X: Feels kind of ATEEZ-ish, but not quite as pushed conceptually.

- Moonlight by BDC: Very vibey if that is a style you like. I don’t mind the chorus, which is a bit lusher, but the rest is not for me

- Tesseract by CIX: IDK why there is a video for the 1:28 of this track (nevermind, its on another site that I’m not going to search for)

- Pool Party by Brave Girls: Their voices are incredibly over processed in this. I know everyone in kpop is autotuned, but usually I can ignore it

So, I may be a little bit biased for this whole track, because it is produced by Bang Yongguk, who I love very much, but Damage is surprisingly decent? Just B is definitely a debut group, and you can tell in the video. The track though has some really nice moments. The start of the hook is really cool, and the delayed drop in the chorus adds a cool half beat of expectations. I also really like the silence or near silence spliced in throughout the track. It is a more interesting debut than a lot I have seen this year.

I hope the chorus of PTT grows on me, because the rest of LOONA’s newest track has me hooked. I love the percussion heavy instrumentation, and letting their voices hold nearly all of the melody, I know that the super hard hitting chorus is the new thing (tracks like Next Level come to mind), but I have yet to really like one. They definitely get stuck in your head, but I’ve never had one last longer than that. Everything else though it pretty damn great, and I’ll give the chorus a pass for all of the rest.

I love seeing really experienced groups pull off tracks that younger groups could never touch, because the feel is just way way too mature. You aren’t going to catch a freshly debuted group with a song like Make (or Make It? I’m not sure what the English title actually is). You need experience to be casually sexy and have it not come off as insincere, which 2PM has in spades. I like the jazzy brass mixed in. I like the chorus and hook. I like Taecyeon getting to sing a deep part. My biggest problem is that a group with 3 guys who have acted quite a bit can’t seem to act their way out of a paper bag the whole video. They stare at the female lead with negative energy or interest, and she does the same back. I guess props to her professionalism for standing so close to so much 2PM and surviving, but damn. If you want a way better video for it, watch the relay dance from M2, it is way more fun.

#sotw #2pm make #13 idol tracks this week yall #its a lot

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sarahegerton96 · 5 years ago

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Richard madden-Caught!!

This is my first time writing for Richard Madden aka my Hottie Scottie, sorry if it sucks which it more than likely does, I wrote Richard as a bad boy with tattoos and piercings @primaba11erina

I've always been a bit of a wild woman. Carefree very open-minded and always spoke what was on my mind. My name is Y/N and I've just returned home from school to find my parents have left for the summer. So, now I get this big house all to myself. I have made all sorts of plans with friends for the summer. Camping, beach days, parties, and just hanging at home by the pool. My cell phone went off and it was my mother.

"Hey, mum," I said.

"Hello Y/N, I just wanted to let you know that there are some men coming this week to build the new pool house." She said.

"Okay," I said.

"How are things there?" She asked me.

"Everything is good, enjoy your vacation. Love you bye." I said and hung up the phone. If you don't cut my mother off. She will talk your head off. The next morning, I got up early. I was meeting some friends down at the beach for the day. I heard a truck pull up as I was getting ready to leave. I grabbed my bags and went outside to my jeep. There were two trucks parked in front of the house. The construction workers were here. I turned to put my things in the jeep.

"Excuse me miss, we're here to work on the new pool house." I heard a voice say. I turned around and there was an older man standing there.

"Yeah, no problem. You guys have at it." I said.

"We were told no one would be home." He said.

"Yeah, I'm the daughter. I will be here, but you won't notice me." I said.

"I hope we won't be too loud for you." He said.

"I'm sure I'll live," I said. I watched behind him as five other men walked up to us. "You guys can use the side entrance," I said as my eyes met a set of piercing blue eyes. My god, he was gorgeous. I blushed as soon as he looked right back at me. "Okay boys, have a good day," I said, as I hopped into my jeep and took off.

"So, he is a hottie?" My friend Mikayla said as we were sunbathing on the beach.

"Oh yeah, he is hella hot," I said.

"Well if you hit it, I want all the details." She said. I giggled.

"I don't think that's going to happen," I said.

"You never know Y/N. You could be in the pool drowning and he jumps in to save you." She said while her eyebrows danced. I just shook my head.

"You're crazy," I told her. The sun was setting and everyone started a big bonfire. I stuck around for a while and then headed home. The next morning I had gone to the kitchen to make my coffee. I heard voices and realised the workers were showing up. I can see the whole back yard from the kitchen. I stood there and watched them set up. Then I saw him. He was in jeans and a white tank top. He wore his hard hat backward. You could see his black hair, but what I was looking at mostly was his body. He had tattoos, piercings and small stretchers in his ears. He was also very muscular. I bit my lips as I watched him move around. He was definitely, sexy as fuck. I stood there for a while and watched him. I wonder if they would like some coffee? I said to myself trying to come up with a reason to go outside. I noticed they were not very close to the pool. I could invite some girls over to swim and be right under their noses without being in their way. I thought to myself.

Mikayla and my other friend Laynna came over around noon. The guys were all sitting around having lunch when the three of us girls in our small bikinis came walking out back.

"I hope we won't be in your way boys?" Mikayla announced.

"Not at all." The older man spoke up. My eyes went straight to the sexy one. He was watching me. I took my suit cover off and laid my towel down on the lounge chair. I then took a seat and started to cover my lite skin in sunblock. I pulled my Y/H/C out of the ponytail and laid back to sunbathe. I had my sunglasses on so I could sneak peeks at him. He was still watching me. I smiled softly and Mikayla and Laynna jumped into the pool. The boys got back to work and the sexy man and I were eye fucking each other all day.

I felt a shadow cover me and I opened my eyes to see him standing over me. "Sorry to interrupt your day, but would you mind if I used your restroom?" He said in a deep thick voice.

"Sure," I said. I stood up to show him where the restroom was. He followed me inside.

"Wow, it feels nice and cool in here." He said. I notice his body was covered in sweat.

"You guys can use the pool if you want to," I said. He stopped and looked at me.

"What's your name little one?" He asked me.

"Y/N," I said. He smiled.

"I'm Richard." He said.

"It's nice to meet you, Richard," I said.

"You too." He said. I showed him to the bathroom and left him alone and went back outside. I knew he was older than I and that made him even hotter than he already was. I watched them pack up and head out for the night. Before Richard walked out, he stopped and turned towards me. "Have a good night Y/N." He said.

"You too Richard," I said. Mikayla shot her head at me.

"First names, yep you're going to be fucking soon." She said and we all just laughed. I had dreamed all night of Richard and me all over each other. I woke up the next morning all sorts of bothered. What the hell was wrong with me. I didn't even know the damn guy. I tossed my hair up into a messy bun. I put on a red tank top and a pair of short red shorts. I went downstairs and made some coffee. It was Saturday and I didn't think the guys were coming to work today. It was after nine in the morning. I guess they have Saturdays off. I said to myself. I just decided to kick back on the couch, be lazy and watch some movies.

After the first movie. My brain was running wild with thoughts of Richard taking his shirt off. I could see the beads of sweat falling down his muscles. It was driving me crazy. I started to run my fingers up and down my chest. Then I started running my fingers up and down my inner thigh. I knew I was already wet from just the thought of him. I lifted my tank top and my breast fell out. I started to pinch my nipples. I licked my fingers and ran the wetness across my nipple. I closed my eyes as I ran my hand into my shorts and pushed my fingers between the folds of my pussy. I softly started to rub my clit. The tension was unbelievable. It felt so good. I started to lose myself. I had both hands in my shorts. As one hand was working my clit. I had the other hands fingers deep inside of me. My eyes were closed and I was moaning out. "Oh Richard," I said, as I came all over my fingers. I got a big smile on my face as I opened my eyes. Only to meet his eyes in the window. "Oh my god," I said out loud. He just smiled at me and walked out to the back yard. Fuck, I said to myself. Shit, what the hell do I do now? What the fuck is he doing here?

I got up and straightened myself out. I then walked out to the back door. He was walking around the new pool house. It looked as if he was looking for something. I should go say something, but what the fuck do I say? Sorry, you caught me fucking myself. Oh my god. I said to myself. I took a deep breath and walked out to him. "Um Richard, I um." I tried to say. The next thing I knew he was right next to me.

"Yes, little one?" He said.

"I. um. I" I couldn't speak. His finger came under my chin and he tilted my face up to meet his.

"Are you sorry I caught you?" He said.

"No," I said. I surprised myself with that answer, but why lie? He cocked his head at me.

"No?" He said. I bit my lip and shook my head. His hand slid down my back and stopped right above my ass. "Do you want my fingers inside of you?" He said. Fuck, that was hot. I nodded at him. "I can't hear you." He said.

"Yes, Richard. I want your fingers inside me." I said. He smiled and let out a little growl. "You're a bad little girl aren't you Y/N." He said. I bit down on my lip. His lips went to my neck and my body lit up like fire. He took my hand and we walked inside the house. As soon as we got inside. He slammed me against the wall. His hand immediately went inside my shorts. His fingers went deep inside of me and I closed my eyes.

"Is this what you want?" He whispered in my ear.

"Yes." I breathed out. He continued to finger fuck me against the wall. His lips were all over my neck and chest. "More," I said and he added a third finger inside of me. I came hard on his fingers.

"My turn." He said. He picked me up and took me over to the couch. He laid me down and stood back up. "Take your clothes off." He said. I was in love with his control. I did as I was told. "Your body is beautiful Y/N." He said as he started to remove his clothes. He kneeled between my legs and starting kissing me down my body. He licked and teased my nipples and moved down my body more. Leaving wet kisses on my stomach. His face found my clit and he started gently licking and biting my clit. My legs wrapped around his back. His hand went under me and gripped my ass cheeks. I was jumping all over the place as he held me down with his strong body. Until I came all over his face.

"Oh my god," I yelled out. He then sat up and pulled a condom out of his wallet. He placed it on himself. Moving us to lay on the sofa. Then he came close to my face and our lips met as he entered me. Staying in a lip lock he started to rock back and forth. My fingernails ran down his back. He growled in my mouth. He was thrusting deeper and harder and I was loving it. He then sat up and flipped me over on my side. He laid next to me and lifted my leg in the air. He took hold of his cock and slipped it back inside of me. His arm went under my head and his other hand took hold of my breast. He started to thrust in and out of me. I was moaning so loud. I just knew the neighbours could hear me. He was biting down on my neck and I took his fingers into my mouth and sucked on them. I could taste myself and it turned me on even more.

"Your so fucking hot Y/N. I wanted to be inside you the first time I saw you." He said. My pussy tightened around him and I came hard and he came right along with me. He let out a loud growl and we just laid there and the only sound we heard was each other's breathing. Needless to say, this summer break just got a whole lot hotter as getting caught by Richard meant, he would put in overtime with me nightly now. What a great summer this turned out to be.

The end...

#richard madden smut #richard madden #smut #richard madden imagine #richard madden x reader #richard madden one shot #hottie scottie #bad boy

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ringobean · 5 years ago

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New fanfic on wattpad:

"I wanna be your man"

Butlins Camps part1

August 1960, finally the end of the school year, after a long exhausting year, finally came holiday time.

As I had really succeed in my exams and my year, my parents had promised to let me go on holiday with three of my friends for one month, they were a little worried about seeing me go on vacation alone, in a holiday camp, with a lot of young people, especially young men, but they trusted me, I was a pretty serious girl, who spent her time reading rather than flirting. But this time I really wanted to enjoy, laugh with my friends, and why not meet a boy to have fun during the holidays, and my friends who was really more experimented as me, wanted to make me cut loose during this month.

One of my friend had booked a bungalow for a month at Butlin's Pwllheli, it was a holiday camp near Pwllheli in Wales, the guy she fancied, was playing over there in a band, and she was determined to have him! It wasn't a dreaming destination , but the camp looked nice, there was a large swimming pool, full of activities, and in the evening concerts and dancing parties, and the price wasn't very expensive for a month. For the occasion, I bought a collection of sexy bikini and pretty summer dresses, obviously my parents had no idea of it.

While I was waiting for my friend to pick me up by car, my parents gave me their last recommendations, especially my mother:

"My dear daughter, take care of yourself, you know boys are real predators, and will do anything to sleep with you, try to protect your virginity for your futur husband, darling!"

"Mum, please, i know... It's so odd to talk about this with you. Now i got to go, my friends is here, i promess i'll stay well behave, and won't do stupid things, you know me, i'm a good girl."

I kissed them, and rush into the car of my friend, that her father bought her to celebrate the success of her exam.

We all laughed, and we spent the trip listening to music, and chatting about all the things we were going to do!

"come on girls, let's go for the holidays, we're going to have fun! And who's gonna sleep with the handsome Rory all summer, it's me!"

We unpacked our belongings and don't waste time changing into bikini to enjoy the pool. I opted for a superb pink and white gingham bikini highlighting my chest and legs, with a matching headband. Then we went to the pool, the water was good and warm, after a few minutes of swimming, we were going to dry and sunbathe on the deckchairs, I started to read a book, while the girls were looking for boys, especially Betsie who was absolutely looking for her Rory, I had no idea who he was and his band, since I hardly have time to go out, spending the majority of the year to study. I was so absorbed in my book, that I hadn't noticed the group of boys who had approached us.

After two hours on the road, we finally arrived, a young woman at the reception made us visit the camp by explaining everything to us, then led us to our bungalow.

A deep baritone sensual male voice with a strong liverpool accent, got my head out of my book.

"Hi, i hope that i'm not bothering you? Can I sit next to you?"

"no, of course you can"

He gave me a charming smile, he wore only a very small swimsuit, he didn't look very tall, he was thin but slightly muscular, arms and thighs very toned, large hands with rings on his fingers, he had a fine face, big blue eyes, a luscious mouth, a masculine aquiline nose, beautiful fluffy wavy hair that looked soft! I blush, not knowing where to put my eyes. He was very attractive, and he was quite the kind of boy my parents dreaded!

"I'm Richard, but you can also call me Ritchie or Ringo"

"Nice to meet you, I'm (Y/N), Ringo?"

"Yes my bandmates call me like that cause of my rings."

"are you a musician?"

"a little bit, I studied it at school, I dream to go to Paris one day!"

"yes, I'm the drummer of the band "Rory storm and the Hurricanes" What were you reading?"

"oh a french book, by Boris Vian, it's very poetic, but a little bit weird!"

"I also like to read when I have time, do you speak french?"

"Me too, maybe we'll can go there one day together?"

"yeah, maybe, who knows!" i giggles.

"do you want to drink something?"

I felt so silly blushing and giggling like an idiot every time he spoke to me, but he was such a handsome guy.

"Yes, why not!"

He comes back a few minutes later with two bottles of coke and a straw for me, meanwhile Betsie was already busy flirting with Rory and my 2 other friends wading in the water, having fun splashing with boys. He took a sip from his bottle and asked me:

"I've already seen your friends at our concerts, but you, it's the first time that I see you, where were you hiding?

"Yeah i can see that, he said, watching Betsie getting groped, on Rory's lap.

I was sipping my coke from the end of my straw.

"Actually, I don't go out much the rest of the year..."

"Oh too bad, but it doesn't matter we'll catch up on time! How long are you staying here?"

"all August"

"so we'll definitely have time to get to know each other better!"

"yes, I hope it would be nice ..."

"will you come and see us play tonight?"

"yes of course, especially knowing that my friends are totally fan of your band"

I was very happy and quite worried at the same time, to have come across a boy who I liked, but who also seemed to be a womanizer...

I laughed.

"you have something planned after the concert, maybe we could spend time together?"

"uh.. no... nothing planned yet."

I had butterflies in my stomach at the idea of spending time alone with him, totally excited and frightened at the same time, never having really gone out with a boy, especially a boy who seemed really experienced, and who attracted me.

"you're cute when you blush"

My god i just wanted to kill myself for being so stupid and shy...

"Thanks"

"So, see you tonight, pretty (y / n) we have to prepare for the concert!"

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and left with his bandmates...

Maggie said to me laughing:

"Well what a chance, great for the first day, you caught a beautiful fish, he's the one that I wanted, Girls says that he has the biggest of all, and he make love very well, but he choose you... At least, Johnny is great too!

"I'm not aware of what girls says about him, anyway he looks very nice and charming"

I was very happy and quite worried at the same time, to have come across a boy who I liked, but who also seemed to be a womanizer...

#ringo is the cutest bean to exist #the beatles x reader #the beatles fanfiction #the beatles #ringo #ringo starr #ringostarr #ringo starr x reader #ringo smut #ringo teddy boy #john paul george and ringo #rory storm and the hurricanes #rorystorm

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emmanelsonwrites · 6 years ago

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new girl: season 1 ; sentence starters

❝ did you just make up a theme song for yourself? ❞

❝ it made no difference to me, i just wanted to set her trashcans on fire. ❞

❝ you think i’m sexy right? ❞

❝ it’s astronomy day and i’m dressing up as galileo so i have to put on my beard. ❞

❝ i thought pawnshops were about helping people and frankly i feel taken advantage of. ❞

❝ he looks like he juggles clubs on the beach. ❞

❝ suck it, mr. crabs. ❞

❝ the only way i could fit in this dress was by wearing little girls bicycle shorts underneath. ❞

❝ she used to get drunk and pass out on our porch it was like having a hot alcoholic cat. ❞

❝ i need you to put vodka in a water bottle and rendezvous with me in the bathroom. ❞

❝ it was weird when i was stuck in a freak sandwich between you and that eight year old. ❞

❝ i took my feelings out... with dance. ❞

❝ i know word and i can open a document. ❞

❝ locker rooms, swimming pools, penis fights, it just happens. ❞

❝ sorry officer, i cant help you, because, no, i haven’t seen his penis. ❞

❝ and then, boom, he’s buried in an unmarked grave. ❞

❝ c’mon i dance naked all the time! ❞

❝ a bear might fall on our trampoline. we don’t need to have it figured out right now. ❞

❝ who are you miss pajama? ❞

❝ i mean, he seemed like a really nice european dj with a face tattoo. ❞

❝ no i dont dance. im from the town in footloose. ❞

❝ okay, no matter how many emails you send, that is not a thing. ❞

❝ that’s a great idea. be the girl who replaces his dead nana. ❞

❝ you get all mean and you make that little turtle face. ❞

❝ anyone who tells you the future of gravy is nitrogen based is cooking with blinders on. ❞

❝ i’m sorry, are you singing about what we’re doing? ❞

❝ he’s weird about cooking. did you touch his whisk? ❞

❝ when i was on that elevator ride from hell, the coroner told me to stop crying like a little girl and i told him that was sexist. ❞

❝ this is just like a nightmare i had where you brought over teenagers with bells. ❞

❝ jingle bells is a trash song. played on a trash instrument. ❞

❝ the plastic soda bottle is right where its supposed to be. back in the wall hole. ❞

❝ two things women love: alternative percussion players and role models. ❞

❝ my bar mitzvah was an amazing event! the theme was sports jams! ❞

❝ i have fifteen minutes. teach me how to be good at sex. ❞

❝ apparently i’m hooking up with the right girls because they don’t choke me. ❞

❝ i don’t wanna get a haircut, it’s too intimate. ❞

❝ looking forward to years of therapy over dirty santa. ❞

❝ apparently my business isn’t as important as frankie muniz’s. ❞

❝ we’re bro-nemies. he’s my friemesis. ❞

❝ last month he went to a party called bros before hoes on the moon. the dress code was yacht flare. ❞

❝ i’ve got no girls on the horizon. in a hot way. ❞

❝ tanya has half a pot cookie so maybe she’ll share if you’re lucky. ❞

❝ when i work out, which isn’t often, i listen to huey lewis, it pumps me up. ❞

❝ i don’t think dinosaurs ever existed. i’ve seen the science and i don’t believe it. ❞

❝ i have these issue— these anger management issues. i go to all these class— they’re court ordered classes. for it. ❞

❝ can you please not tell anyone i did that? actually, i don’t care what people think. do you think i care too much what people think? ❞

❝ i’m good at being that guy you find yourself spending more and more time with before you meet your husband. ❞

❝ i’ve had to start carrying athletic shoes in my purse because i have to sprint from one sexual encounter to another. ❞

❝ i have come here to listen to you. should i have interrupted you to tell you that? probably not. ❞

❝ my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch! ❞

❝ when people talk about breakfast being the most important meal of the day i’m like... whaaaat? what about lunch? ❞

❝ and then i drove to mexico and i tried to enter a cock fight. as a person. ❞

❝ i wasn’t gonna tell you until after you got knocked up and were stuck with me. ❞

❝ i helped him get back together with his ex girlfriend, he made me video chat with his mom in hawaii, and then i went home. ❞

❝ is this one of those fortune telling cactuses? ❞

❝ what kind of crazy person destroys a child’s robot? ❞

❝ i feel great and i’m ready to rock but i really don’t wanna be alone. ❞

❝ my funeral is my time to shine! ❞

❝ this thing makes me emotionally nauseous. ❞

❝ are you sleeping in dress pants? ❞

❝ i’m gonna throw my phone into the fiery chasm where he keeps his poor people. ❞

❝ i wasn’t raised with money so when something broke we pretended it still worked. ❞

❝ i don’t know how to drive cars that work. ❞

❝ makes me wanna sit by the fire and talk about how annoying ghandi is. ❞

❝ she accidentally ate a cookie because she fell on it. ❞

❝ but i mean, can we just take a moment to celebrate me? ❞

❝ was it that stuck up bitch from last night with the fake hand? ❞

❝ i need you to teach me to be a douchebag. ❞

❝ now go away because i’m having cereal. ❞

❝ puns are creepy and they freak me out and you know that. ❞

❝ now i hate me as much as i’ve always hated you. ❞

❝ i don’t trust what cool means to you so just be normal. ❞

❝ those are my friends and that wasn’t even the first stabbing this month. ❞

❝ i was the bomb diggity as a baby. ❞

❝ i wanna rub my face on his face. ❞

❝ if you were a woman, or even dressed as a woman, we’d be unstoppable. ❞

❝ i might as well call you bridge to terabithia because you make children cry. ❞

❝ i got tomatoes and i’m betting on me. ❞

❝ don’t tap dance at dinner. ❞

❝ this the ass of a failure! ❞

❝ if you hurt her, i will let myself die and then i will haunt you. ❞

❝ i’m sorry i made you feel like monica lewinsky. ❞

❝ shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? no, a summer’s day is not a bitch. ❞

❝ for someone with a soulmate you sure did have sex with me. ❞

❝ i know fake karate. ❞

❝ i hope you like feminist rants cause that’s kinda my thing. ❞

❝ am i supposed to want to buy a missile? ❞

❝ i took my fair share of rubber bands so i don’t wanna hear about it. ❞

❝ there’s a corpse in your room? ❞

❝ i rode up in the elevator with that guy and something growled in that box. ❞

❝ the tow truck can’t come until tomorrow; aren’t you glad i stole all this beer? ❞

❝ you don’t do the roadrunner to a coyote! ❞

❝ you slept with me! that doesn’t say much about your taste in men. ❞

#meme #rp meme #sentence starters #writing prompts #starters #masterlist

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lookslike-wemadeit · 6 years ago

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January 2011

1- At 12:13 AM, Louis tweets his first tweet of 2011 “#harrylouyear <<< GENIUS ! :) HAPPY NEW YEAR :)”

1- Hannah tweets at 12:43 AM “My head is pounding from Louis playing 'The Musical Theatre Game' aghhh xx”

Louis rides the train to London to see Stan

1- Hannah tweets her NYE with Louis “@AlexheartsQuiff I stayed at home with Louis & my sister and played Smurf Village hahaha xxx”

1- Harry spends New Year’s Day with family

2- Louis tweets “So excited for today :) xx”

2- Show at the Forum in Hatfield, Hertfordshire

2- Harry tweets about the show “Brilliant gig at The Forum! Got a brilliant book from Italy:) Thanks You Everyone!! :D”

2- Jay tweets Robin “@robintwist My beautiful little sugarbreasts :) So lovely to have you on twitter land xx “ (Louis mum and Harry's step dad)

2- Robin responds to Jay “@JayTommo my little swamp duck, why aren't you following Mr Womderful? “

2- Louis tweets “Great gig today , thank you Hatfield :) we love you !!!!

2- next to you during the concert

3- Dusty posts Ted makes me feel like the only cat in the world :)

3- he also tweets- going to watch a film with the best boyfriend in the world

3 - Harry goes shopping in Manchester with his cousins

4- Dusty posts a picture of flowers he got for Ted. And a video and my boyfriend is sexy

4- Louis tweets “Big shout out too @joekenners thanks for tonight !!!“

4- Harry tweets about the game “Off to the football :D Not much is better than a trip to Old Trafford with the father @louis_Tomlinson and @rioferdy5 :) .x”

4- Harry & Louis go to Rosso for dinner and later drinks

4- Harry tweets again about what a great night it was “Great night with @louis_Tomlinson , @ashwils84 , @joekenners and @rioferdy5 :) .x”

4- Louis tweets “Niall has been hacked so ignore his funny tweets ha”

4- Louis tweets a picture of him and Harry with Nemanja Vidic before they’re even home “Me Harry and Vidic http://yfrog.com/h6y7hdj”

4- 20 minutes later Louis tweets again “Great night with @Harry_styles and @anton_Ferdinand !!!“ Anton was not there. Rio had tagged the wrong Louis (Louie Spence) in a tweet earlier in the evening and Louis was getting him back for it.

4- Harry & Louis have a sleepover at Harry’s house in Holmes Chapel

4- Louis tweets “@AshWills84 unlucky mate I'm just sat at home drinking tea haha good to see you mate !”

4- Louis tweets at 1:54AM “sleep over at Harrys :)”

4- Louis tweets X Factor contestant John Wilding who was eliminated at Judge’s Houses in 2010 “miss you man !!”

4- Louis tweets “:)” in response to a fan telling him he was lucky for sleeping over at Harry’s

5-Louis tweets Rio Ferdinand “@rioferdy5 when you gonna come play for doncaster rovers then boss haha”

5- Louis tweets Joe Kennedy who asks Louis “haha have u seen ok today? jk.” Louis responds “no what does it say ? X”

5- OK! tweets article “One Direction fan Rio Ferdinand catches up with Harry and Louis at the footie”

5- Louis goes home to Doncaster late in the afternoon. He hangs out with Hannah at her house for about 3 hours

5- Louis tweets “Just got @BrunoMars ' album... what a talented guy ! Great album!!!” He was talking about Doo-Wops & Hooligans

6- Zayn & Louis ride down to Brighton together in the afternoon

6- Louis tweets while in the car “Hello everyone :) x”

6- Louis tweets asking if anyone has the unauthorized One Direction biography “Anyone got this a to z book ? X”

6- Louis tweets the Larry Stylinson Twitter account “@LarryStylinson :) have a nice day x”

6- Louis tweets Aiden Grimshaw “@Mr_Grimshaw well my name is Aiden and I smell of poo poo and still wee the bed !!”

6- Louis tweets Rio Ferdinand “@rioferdy5 man up !!”

6 - Louis tweets “@LoveForAnneCox big love for Anne cox :)” (Harry's mum)

6 - Louis tweets “@SupportHStyles hollister and that is a silly thing to say cos I support Harry x”

6- Louis tweets “Damn I miss all the interactive stuff like megamind :(”

6- Louis tweets Rebecca Ferguson’s old account “@beccaxferguson good thanks lovely how are you superstar :) ? X”

6 - Louis tweets Niall “@NiallOfficial poopoo”

6- Louis tweets Rebecca Ferguson again “@beccaxferguson ha you miss us anyway!! Can't wait for the tour x”

6- At 8PM, Louis tweets “Let's start a trend :) any ideas ?”

6- At 8:20PM, Louis tweets “More trends ....?”

6- At 8:30PM, Louis tweets “If it trends world wide I will tweet an never seen before picture :)”

6- At 8:47PM, Louis tweets “If you want that unseen picture get tweeting :)"

6- At 9PM, Louis tweets “Two trends related to me love it !!! I love you all !!!!”

6- Louis posts “never before seen” picture of him and Harry before the first live show “Before the 1st live show http://yfrog.com/gym6leyj“

6- 15 minutes later, Jay tweets “Silly Ol' @Louis_Tomlinson for tweeting a photo a previously seen one :) Louis aged 6 xx http://plixi.com/p/68274395″

6-9: The boys in Brighton doing “band stuff,” including recording “I Want”

9- Harry’s friend, Ashley, tweets “harry would go a hint of gay for Louis, he never shuts up about him ;)HA!”

9- Harry posts picture of him and Louis playing with light sabers at 9:30 pm. I think that was taken in the studio in Brighton. Hannah said Louis had the light sabers in his car forever, but didn’t have the Clio anymore at this point. He sold the car before moving to London from X Factor. “Star Wars Is Always Cool. Enough Said.

10- The boys move into the X Factor rehearsal hotel, The Richmond Hill Hotel in Surrey

10- Harry (and the other boys?) have dinner at Nando’s

10- Harry tweets “ And i say,What a way for the Ice to break.....”

10- Harry tweets “ Night Everyone!! I leave you with this, "The Awkward Moment When............................................" :) “ at 11:19 PM

10- Harry tweets link to video of father and daughter doing a cover of “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes at 11:24 PM

10- Harry tweets lyrics to “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes at 11:32 PM “ We laugh until we think we’ll die,Barefoot on a summer night..Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you :D night .x “

10- Zayn tweets at 11:35 PM he’s “chillin with @harrystyles :),” tags the wrong Harry on twitter

11-The boys record “Gotta Be You” in southwest London with Steve Mac

12- Zayn’s birthday

12- The boys take Zayn out to lunch for his birthday

12- Harry tweets “The awkward moment when your mum walks past the shop at dinner time and the whole of One Direction start shouting milf -.- hahaha!!“

12- Harry then tweets “I feel like I should tweet something not directed at the mother now.....a Turtle wearing a helicopter hat. Done. :D”

12- Niall says Louis sleep walks “In the night louis started sleepwalkin, he got into my bed, I pushed him off and he sat on the floor singin the tune t jungle book!wierd”

13- Harry gets a haircut

13- Sugarscape tweets “Harry and Louis are dancing with each other aahhhhh!”

13- mutual we discussed it

Lots of flirting

Pretty much always touching

louis slapped Harry's bum

13- Louis posts “Secret Video Diary” from X Factor on twitter which is about 3 minutes of him searching for Harry

13- Dinner at Nando’s

14- Someone on Twitter claims to work for Sugarscape and says they were at the shoot the previous day; Says Harry asked for her number; the official Sugarscape twitter says they’ve never heard of the person and they were not at the shoot

15- G-A-Y performances,1 public and 1 private, at Heaven nightclub in Central London; The owner of the club booked the boys for his birthday party; Hannah got to the club around 11:30PM, waited in line with fans and stayed in a separate hotel room with friends

16- Harry posts picture of him and Louis with Brian May from Queen at 6:58 PM “ Brian May.....Hero.

16- pictures of all the boys together they are clingy

16- The boys go to the JLS concert at the O2 Arena in London

17-Choreography rehearsals in Surrey for X Factor tour

17- pictures of One Direction outside Richmond Hill Hotel

17- Niall tweets he ate Domino’s with Harry & Louis around 9:30 PM “ Just had dominos with @Harry_Styles and @Louis_Tomlinson ..harry just had sweetcorn on his “

19- Article published saying they were thrown out of “health club” for rowdy behavior; In actuality, they were scolded for playing around in the pool at their hotel

19- Harry tweets “I'm being serenaded by Zayn :P" w/ picture

19- Harry tweets “Finally something to do in our hotel rooms...but word of warning, xbox kinnect is tricky in a tiny hotel room :D haha!”

19- Photoshoot

20-23- Days off

20- Louis tweets from the One Direction Twitter account “ Morning everyone , have a lovely day :) - Louis :) xx”

20- About 90 minutes later, Louis tweets from his own account about official One Direction Twitter account “Everyone follow @onedirection !! We will all be using the group twitter alot more as well as our personal accounts :) #followonedirection”

20- At about 7:54pm, the One Direction account (Louis), tweets “likes Who Let the Dogs Out by Baha Men on Ping http://itun.es/iFV6dW #iTunes ”

20- At 7:54 pm, Louis tweets from the One Direction account again “Will everyone please follow the one direction iTunes ping :) - Louis.”

20- Louis sets his profile pic on ping to a cropped picture of him and Harry in Holmes Chapel in December

20- Harry leaves late in the evening to visit Gemma “On the way to visit my sister :D .x

21- Harry at home

21- Louis tweets about official One Direction facebook page

21- The One Direction account tweets “Who wants a follow 5 people will get followed today just type #followme1d and your reason :) we will pick the best 5 :)”

21- One Direction account tweets the now defunct URL “Check out a new webpage :) http://www.1direction.co.uk/ join our news letter for the latest updates and video diaries :)”

21 - One Direction account tweets “18th in The Shorty Awards, Best Musicians Twitter Account http://bit.ly/voteonedirection #voteonedirection ..Keep it up lets get to 10th :)"

21- Harry tweets “So tired....kinnect volleyball all day:P but now I'm a 'pro' ;) haha .x”

22- Niall tweets from One Direction account “Hello twitter :) great few days at home , see you soon .... COME ON DERBY !!- Niall xx”

23 - At 11:54AM Harry tweets from the One Direction account “ I think thats the best lie in i've had so far :) Harry .xx”

23- At 12:01PM, Harry (?) tweets from the One Direction account “ i'm just chilling out today :)”

23- At 12:04PM, the One Direction account (Harry again?) tweets “ Shorty Awards: Vote @onedirection for music!! Louis for humor and Harry for Fashion...They're near the top!! :D“

23- At 12:05, Harry tweets from his personal “Haha Just seen I'm 8th for Fashion in the Shorty Awards!! :D ^^^”

23-Hannah tweets a picture of her and her friends before the G-A-Y performance in London

23- Hannah immediately tweets a picture of her mother’s desk at work, saying the picture is from Louis’ birthday

23- Hannah immediately tweets a self-described “blurry pic of Louis”

23- Hannah tweets a fan how long her and Louis have been dating, saying “For about 17 months x“

23- Hannah tweets “@louis_tomlinson is NOT leaving One Direction! Don't know where that rumour came from xx“

23- Hannah tweets her anniversary with Louis is March 18th

Hmm math... It would either 22 months or 10... Not 17?

23- Harry & Louis leave Surrey early in the afternoon and ride a Southwestern train 45 minutes into Central London

23- Harry & Louis go to TGI Friday’s in Haymarket Square and go shopping

23- Harry & Louis go to Odeon Leicester Square to see Black Swan

23- Harry tweets “Vote @louis_tomlinson for humour in the shorty awards!! :D” at 3:37 PM

23- Harry tweets “TGI Fridays......heaven.” at 3:41 PM

23- Louis tweets “Please RT my last tweet love you all :) if I am 2nd by tonight me and Harry will do a twitcam , bromance special ;)” at 3:41 PM

23- Harry tweets lyrics to “California” by Phantom Planet at 3:51 PM “On the stereo,listen as we go,nothing's gonna stop me now..California here we come..Right back where we started from :D“; He later played this song during the twitcam the same day

23- Hannah tweets link to Shorty Awards after fan tells her Louis is in 1st Place “Louis is 1st!! Keep voting please & keep him there :) http://shortyawards.com/category/humor

23- Hannah tweets the link to vote again, this time with Harry and One Direction included “@louis_tomlinson for humor, @harry_styles for fashion & @onedirection for music.. please vote! http://shortyawards.com/category/humor”

23- Hannah announces she is booking flights for Dublin to see the X Factor tour

23- Harry & Louis ride the train back to Surrey around 8PM

23- Hannah tweets a fan 15 minutes before the twitcam begins that she’ll watch the twitcam if she was on her laptop “@1OneDirectionx If I'm on my laptop then yep xx”

23- Harry & Louis do promised twitcam lasting an hour, beginning at 9:53PM and ending at 10:50PM

23- Hannah tweets a fan 20 minutes into the Twitcam “@xsarahloveharry Won't load! Never mind, I'm tired anyway xx”

23- Harry tweets “:) (@Harry_Styles live on http://twitcam.com/3m2lg)“

23- Anne watches the twicam, calls them “my boys”

23- Niall tweets he saw Little Fockers with Zayn at 11:30 PM “ Went to see little fockers wi @zaynmalik and TM..really funny!! ";

The film was still in theaters at the time; They did not go with Harry & Louis to their movie, and likely went to the movie theater an 8 minute bus ride from their hotel

23-Harry tweets at 12:13 AM “I Wish #thepersonunderthistweet A Very Nice Sleep :D .xx“

23- Harry tweets at 12:20 AM “It's not about the Money money money,We don't need your Money money money..We just wanna make the World Dance..forget about The Pricetag :D”

23- only Larry Twitter cam

Harry: Me and Louis had a really nice girl’s day out today.

Louis: Yes. Me and Harry spent all day shopping...dining...eating cookie dough...and watching girly films like The Black Swan. Which ended up being not that girly, quite rude and quite violent.

Harry: [quietly] It was good though.

24- Harry tweets at 7:47 AM “It's National Pie Day...And I got hit in the head with a Cream Egg!! :D”

24-Louis tweets at 6:55 PM “I love every single one of our fans !! You are amazing ! We are so lucky to have you !!”

25- One Direction Twitter account tweets “Good bye to all our lovely fans see you soon , lots of love Louis , Harry , Niall , Zayn and Liam”

25- Louis tweets at 9:18 AM “Please keep voting on the shorty awards it's so close now!”

25- Louis posts link to vote in Shorty Awards “ http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson please vote humour :) RT love you all xx”

25- they arrive at LAX

25- Hannah tweets “I'll do my best to keep you updated on the boys if you all keep me company while they're away? xx”

25- Hannah tweets 2 pictures of Louis

25- Hannah tweets Danielle Peazer, Liam’s very new girlfriend at the time “@DaniellePeazer Lou asked me what I wanted but I didn't have a clue so I'm excited to see what he brings back!Bet we get the same stuff ha!x”

25- Hannah responds to Danielle who said she texted Liam her US clothing sizes with “@DaniellePeazer Oh great well I didn't think of that so I'll trust Louis' judgement haha.. I just want them back safe xx

25- Hannah tweets with the hashtag 1Dupdate to let fans know the boys would land soon in LA “#1Dupdate The boys should be landing soon!! And I think it's about 2pm in America xx “

25- The boys fly to Los Angeles, arriving at mid afternoon local time

25: Louis tweets “So excited to be in L.A will tweet pictures when I can :) xx”

25: Louis emails Hannah “@larrybromance Lou says the hotel is incredible & they're living not being recognised xx” It was the Days Inn Hollywood.

25- in LA they are whispering and cleny

25-30: The boys in Los Angeles recording “Save You Tonight”

26- Louis tweets from the one direction Twitter- hey everyone me and Harry just had pancakes and maple syrup great way to start the day :) miss you all Louis and Harry x

26- 4 minutes later, Louis tweets from his personal account “Ohh yeah and we had sausage with our pancakes :) x”

26- Hannah replies to Louis’ tweet “@Louis_Tomlinson Sausage and maple syrup together?? That's even worse than pasta on toast x”

26- 6 minutes later, Hannah tweets “In all fairness to Louis, pasta on toast is quite tasty but makes the bread a bit soggy.. I'd choose that over maple syrup sausages anyway x”

26- Louis tweets a picture of himself “Doing the American look :)"

26- One Direction spotted in West Hollywood with Cher Lloyd and Savan Kotecha Harry and Louis are not far apart the whole time

26: The picture from the train hits the internet

26- Louis tweets from the One Direction twitter account “Having a great time and met up with Savan and cher :) - Louis

26- An hour later, Louis tweets from his personal “Voting closes Monday please keep voting for me on humor guys it means a lot! http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson”

26- Louis then tweets from his personal “lets trend #votelouis :) Please RT :)”

26- 2 minutes later, Louis (most likely) tweets again from the One Direction account “Everyone ! Voting closes on Monday please vote One Direction for music :) http://shortyawards.com/onedirection #voteonedirection ”

26- At the same time, Louis tweets again from the One Direction account “Also vote Harry for fashion http://shortyawards.com/Harry_Styles :) #voteharry :)”

26- 1 minute later, the One Direction account tweets “And Louis for humor :) http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson #votelouis”

26- Harry tweets “The Sun Has Got His Hat On And He's Coming Out To Play :D”

26- Hannah tweets “Louis has bought new shoes...And no, they aren't Tom's.. America has changed him already! :(”

27- Reports emerge that the first single will be released on March 13th

27-Harry tweets around 8AM “Here comes the sun,du dun doo doo,Here comes the sun,I say...it's alright :D”

27- Harry tweets “Have a good day everyone :D. Will tweet some pictures later from @onedirection :) .xx“

27- Louis tweets at 6:35 PM “ Hello everyone hope your well . Missing tweeting you guys so much ! Xx”

27- Louis tweets at 11PM LA time “I think it's funny how some people are just getting up and I'm not even asleep yet !!”

27- Louis tweets “Keep voting on the shorty awards please #votelouis”

27- Louis tweets a fan “@heyimisabella good babe how are you ? X“

27- Hannah tweets Louis’ Clio was named Cheryl “@katiejburroughs Louis used to drive a Clio (called Cheryl) but he sold it when he went to London so now he hires cars when he's home :) xx“

27- Hannah tweets “Definitely getting used to this Louis not being here thing.. You've all been so lovely to me as always. 3 sleeps until they're back! Night x”

28- Hannah tweets early in the morning UK time/late night LA time “Spoken to Louis - he's having an amazing time, meeting lots of people & now he's going to bed :) xxx”

28- Hannah tweets a fan “@leprechaunxo The only time he ever cooked for me was when he made this tasty salmon pasta :) xx“

28- Anne tweets Jay about the Shorty Awards “@jaytommo :-) we must be doing something right :) xxxx http://shortyawards.com/category/lovelyonedmummys” ( Harry and Louis' mom's)

28- The One Direction account retweets Harry “RT @Harry_Styles Have a good day everyone :D. Will tweet some pictures later from @onedirection :) .xx“

28- Robin tries to win tickets to the Brit awards and says since “Harry (S) and Lois (T)” can’t go he would take Anne (Harry's step dad)

28- Hannah tweets “@Louis_Tomlinson is only 3 points ahead of 2nd place so can we all please #voteLouis again!! http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson”

28- Harry tweets “ Thank everyone who's been voting me, @louis_Tomlinson and @onedirection in the Shorty Awards...Keep Going!! :D. Love you all .xx“

28- Hannah tweets “When you #voteLouis or #voteHarry you have to make sure your reason has something to do with humour/fashion or it won't count!! RT”

28- Harry tweets from the One Direction Twitter account “ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL_WvOly7mY BEVERLY HILLS!! :D -Harry .xx http://twitpic.com/3u6zh2″

28- Harry tweets “Look what Liam showed me... HAHAHA!! :D http://yfrog.com/h8r4ejj”

28- Harry tweets from the One Direction account “Sunny Again Today in L.A.!! Have a Good Day Everyone :D - Harry .xx”

28- Louis tweets “Expected more from skins , disappointed :(”

28-Jay tweets that Louis got into bed with Harry “@tomlinson_love he got in bed with Harry last week lol”

29- Hannah tweets a fan “@xx_annemarie_xx Louis doesn't have bebo babe xx” ( x ) (Even though it’s well-documented that he did)

29- Hannah tweets what time the boys are landing at Heathrow “ If my maths is correct (and my world clock) the boys will land at 4pm tomorrow UK time which is 8am LA time. That should mean that they leave 5am tomorrow UK time & 9pm tonight LA time. Wow does that make sense??”

29- Anne tweets ”to all those asking: to my knowledge Harry isn't dating anyone”

29- Harry tweets “Have a good day everyone :D. Love you guys and see you soon!! .xxx”

29- The band in West Hollywood posted by Paul on his facebook

29- Ashley (ash_sherls) does a twitcam while drunk with her friend and says Harry isn’t a virgin; An uproar on Twitter ensues; Ashley defends her statement to Twitter user @CaraStalik: “cus trust me...he won’t care.”

30- Hannah tweets “Not long until the boys are home!! #welcomehome1D” and encourages fans to use that hashtag in all tweets

30- Hannah tweets “When I spoke to Louis last night the boys were sunbathing by the pool & didn't want to come home!! Lets trend#welcomehome1D to make them happy to be home”

30- Hannah tweets two fans about something Harry & Louis bought in LA “Louis' are brown & Harry's are sand coloured ha xx” and “Yes they did, lou got brown and Harry got sand x”

30- Hannah tweets “I'm not seeing Louis today, I'm just excited for him to be back in the same country as me!! #welcomehome1D xx“

30- Hannah tweets “They've landed, prepare guys xxx”

30 - The boys arrive back in London and are mobbed at Heathrow

30-Harry tweets “Oh..my..days. Wow!!”

30- Louis tweets from his personal “My jumper got ripped in the chaos so I give it to someone ! Love you all x”

30- Louis tweets from his personal “Every needs to stop saying sorry it's fine it was crazy cos there was so many people but don't worry :) love you all !”

30- Louis tweets from the One Direction account “What a way to be greeted back to the UK how we've missed you :) love you all - Louis x”

30- Jay tweets she talked to Louis & Harry on the phone and the boys are fine

30: Hannah tweets “Please follow mine & Louis' best friend @DanWoollett - he did the live link from Doncaster on the finals & is going to a London tour date :)”

30- Hannah tweets “Feel a bit sick after watching those videos but on a brighter note I love you all for trending #welcomehome1D worldwide all day!!”

30- Louis tweets “http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson - Keep voting :)”

30- Louis tweets “ Massive thanks to @AJ_RedOne @Savan_Kotecha and the rest of the boys !! “

30- Louis tweets “Just been watching my old Grease videos , it makes me sad :( That was a fantastic part of my life!

30- Louis tweets James Corden “ @JKCorden Jamesy baby chips and gravy how are you old bean ?”

30- Harry tweets “Goodnight :D Thanks for all the support..you guys are amazing...seriously. .xx”

30- Louis tweets “Voting closes tomorrow and I am 200 votes behind please keep voting me for humour :)http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson.”

30-Louis tweets “Let's trend #votelouistomlinson”

30-Louis gives instructions on how to vote “You can only vote once and have to leave a reason or it will not count. #votelouistomlinson”

30-Louis tweets Joe Kennedy and Ashley Wills “@joekenners @AshWills84 Hey mate yeah I'm really good! yeah was a top day , hope to have another day soon! Just signed Ash on FM haha“

31- At around 6:45PM, @CaraStalik creates the Twitter account @HarrysVirginity and puts in the bio “I seem to be lost according to @ash_sherls”

My thoughts

Harry and Louis spend most of the month together.

They went on a few dates

Hannah spent most of her time tweeting Louis

Louis never tweeted Hannah

Hannah had no clue when they actually started dating.

Harry was not a virgin.

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #larry stylinson #one direction #larry is real #boyfriends #liam payne #niall horan #zayn malik #January #January 2011 #larry proof #larry timeline #timeline

11 notes · View notes

lokidyke · 6 years ago

Text

cw genital mention, discussion of dysphoria, discussion of sex, a very personal post in general

i've been thinking a lot lately. actually, not even a lot, but whenever i think about it, my thoughts hold heavy weight to them. i've been thinking about my gender, my body, and how i want to be perceived in the world. and i just don't know how i feel about it anymore.

overall i've come to the conclusion that i just... don't want to be seen. it's not even like "i just want to exist", i just don't want to be seen right now because i don't know how i want to be seen. i don't know how i want to exist and navigate the world.

i started questioning my gender when i was in high school, like many of you. since my gender intertwines tightly with my sexuality, i'll talk about that too. for my sexuality, i knew i liked girls when i was in middle school. i turned my head, looked over to one of my dearest friends in the world, and realized just HOW pretty she was. my heart felt like it froze. my brain said to me, "well, i'm bi." i don't think i'll ever forget that moment. it sparked a huge journey for me that doesn't even feel complete yet. maybe it never will.

i thought i was bi for a really long time. i didn't realize i was a lesbian until i started in college, so we'll get there when we get there.

i think it was freshman year when one of my friends asked me out. he was a boy. he had asked out every girl he had ever befriended, and after me, he went on to ask out more and more, until we were seniors and he was dating freshman. he gave off a goofy, immature vibe, so we never questioned it, but looking back, i should've told him how inappropriate that was. i have no idea where he is now. we were the same age, and he asked me out in the library, where we were surrounded by all our friends. he quieted everyone down before he asked me. again, looking back now, that seems like a manipulation tactic to pressure me into saying yes, as to not embarrass him in front of my friends. so i did, i said yes, and we effectively dated for an hour and a half. after leaving the library, he walked me to my locker before class, and asked for a kiss before we left for each of our classes. i gave him one.

even that quick peck made such a disgusting, slimy, steely feeling immediately rush down my body like painful electricity. i thought maybe it was because i just didn't like him. i never figured it was because i just didn't like boys. i couldn't think straight through that entire period, all i thought of was how bad that felt, about how i needed to get out of whatever relationship he expected from me. after class ended, i left the room and he was waiting for me. i immediately broke up with him, trying to be as gentle and apologetic as i could. i think he was very used to rejection, and wouldn't take it as a deterence, so he actually took the breakup quite gracefully. onto the next one, i suppose. i didn't care. i was just glad to be rid of him.

after that, i started thinking about my gender. i looked on youtube for any videos in regards to both trans women and trans men's experiences. i don't think i was questioning my gender at the same time as my fascination began, i just wanted to know everything i could about the T in lgbt. after that was when i heard about nonbinary identities, and read into them. i ended up jumping around from label to label during my experimental phase, but we'll get to that in a second. very similarly to my bisexual revolution, i read over the definition of demigirl, and thought, "yep, that's me." i ended up returning to that label for a brief time when i first discovered i was a lesbian, but that would quickly fade away when i began clinging to the label in terms of every way to describe my identity. sexuality, gender, self. lesbian.

during high school, i of course went through what some may call a "soft boy" period, but i never identified as a trans man. only different forms of nonbinary. agender, genderfluid, agenderflux. all sorts of words that allowed me to experiment with who i was. i was grateful for that allowance of experimentation without too much pressure to commit. for a while, i went by strictly they/them pronouns. "she" felt like someone fumbling to fit a key into the lock and never quite getting it to fit. "he" felt a bit attractive, but warped. i liked masculine terms such as prince, "soft boy", and even just... boy in general. a young boy. never "he". never a man.

this faded away again once i graduated high school. again i wasn't sure who i was, and just settled on bi demiwoman. getting into college, i discovered compulsory heterosexuality. i read up as much as i could from how lesbians described it, and my third revaluation hit me: "that's me. i'm a lesbian."

finally i felt like i was home. i had wanted to be a lesbian so bad, for so long, but didn't know i just... could be. i never connected the dots of my experience to the lesbian experience. but i was finally able to, and i was finally home. i'm a lesbian.

again, demiwoman still fit for me, as i had read about the nonbinary lesbian experience as well. still, even with going by a technically nonbinary identity, i never thought i was actually nonbinary. i identified too closely with my gender assigned at birth. i couldn't be nonbinary until i refused it.

but it's more complex than that, and i understand that now. being a woman for me is... dysphoric. not for being a woman in itself, but for existing as a woman who exclusively loves other women. a woman who lives under the patriarchy. a woman who is told everywhere and by everyone that i was never and will never fully be a woman. even "gay is okay!" liberals look at lesbians as a watered down version of womanhood. i know they do, i can feel it. it's such an alienating feeling.

i think that's why i feel stuck now. i'm a woman, a lesbian woman, and those two are so interconnected that i could never be one without the other. i could never be a woman if i wasn't a lesbian. never.

but under the patriarchy, under the gaze of men, i feel insecure. i feel lesser-than. i feel like "woman" is an identity i will constantly be clamoring for, always just out of reach. i don't fit the mold, i can't reach the standard.

i don't shave my legs. i shave under my arms much less frequently than other women may. i rarely wear makeup, and when i do, i've abandoned using foundation. my hair is short, and i get it cut by barbers. they raised the price at my barbers by three dollars for "women's cuts" once i started going there.

i love women. god, i love women so much. all that put together makes me an outsider. even when i wear dresses, tights, and put on lipstick, i am still an "other". i feel it, and it feels like everyone must know it. they can see through me. "you're not a real woman."

and yet, i'm assigned female at birth! they know i'm a woman, they glare at my huge chest, they see my curves, and yet they see me and think "do better. put in some effort." i hate it.

this summer i felt what i can only describe as dysphoria. i wore my bikini top and swim trunks into the pool, swimming alone. it was a pool party, consisting of a mix of my family and step family. i was out of sight of most of them, and yet, when i lied on my back in the water, with only my stomach and very large breasts poking out of the water, i felt it. i felt like i had to run, and hide myself. i wanted to cover myself and not look another person in the eyes for at least a week. i didn't want men to look at my chest, or even have the chance to. i hate it. i find my chest can be presented in such a sexy way, i've seen it, i want women to see it and feel hot from looking at it. but that's not an option. men linger, and men prey. other women, straight women, they look away, finding the mix of my cleavage and unshaven legs a disgusting, frankenstein-like mish-mash.

i watched contrapoints' video about dysphoria and related a bit. i thought about what she said in that one scene, imitating a female partner and herself pre-transition.

"why won't you fuck me?" "i don't want to." "why?" "it makes me feel like a man." "but you are a man." "well, i don't want to be."

i'm not a man, either. and yet there's always been this lingering sexual question throughout the years.

in my fantasies, i have a penis. when i use pornography to satisfy my needs, i love to be from the perspective of someone with a penis. i fantasize all on my own about the famous women i crush on being gentle yet dominate with me and my penis.

but i never want to be a man. i never identified with MEN. i don't want a man's penis, and i don't even really want a penis in general. it's a fantasy, and yet it feels so tightly woven in with my sexuality. it's what i like, what i fantasize about. and yet, i can't imagine topping a girl with a strap on. it feels too foreign. too dominate. not my style. in the streets, i'd defend any woman i love, any friends i care about, with as much un-lady like, rowdy screaming, insulting, and fighting as needed. but in the sheets, i want to be taken care of.

the idea of being penetrated is still terrifying to me. i think once i have my first sexual encounter, and am penetrated, perhaps that penis fantasy will fall away, and i will understand that penetration doesn't hurt, and isn't something a woman offers to a man to please him, but something beautiful that two women can partake in in order to please both parties, and even especially the one being penetrated.

it's so confusing. i feel so fucked up by men and their worldview of gender and sex. they truly established themselves in my life as the final judge of all these things, and yet, i'll never encounter one in a way in which he'll judge my naked body and tell me who i am. all i have are the eyes of other men, in my family, the ones in the grocery store, the ones who teach me; they silently decide who i am, and how i'm not living up to the standard.

so i feel i can never be who i am. NO, i feel like who i am is below the standard of everyone else for the same concept. and so, womanhood is distilled from me by strangers. it makes me sit at home alone and feel like a stranger to myself. it makes me feel like other woman can never see me how i want to be seen, or love me how i want to be loved.

and yet... i don't know how i want to be seen. i don't know how i want to be loved.

that's the problem.

*t/e/r/f/s, r/a/d/f/e/m/s, gen/der cr/it folks don't interact*

#long post #personal #it's okay to reblog if you relate to this experience but really that's it #gender dysphoria #gender questioning #nonbinary lesbian #lesbiansafe #txt

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authorhblack-blog · 3 years ago

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Ready for summer reading by the pool or at the beach? https://books2read.com/u/bzZaYq Ghost is available in all formats for your reading pleasure. Ghost Healing With a SEAL Book 1 By Heather Black Annie I look at the party going on next door, you know the house that no one’s been at until today for almost a whole month now. Yeah, that one and the guys at the party are pure man candy. Buff and sexy as sin. They look military, but I know looking military doesn’t mean they are military. I’ve been invited by one of those gorgeous and tall men, but I’m here keeping a low profile. I even changed my type of job. Now I’m a freelance journalist, and romance author keeping out of society. Why you ask? I know secrets that can get lots of men hurt, it was my last job. Ghost I’m not into relationships since my ex-fiancee played me for a fool. Now I’m on a mission and my focus is on the mission , but something is tearing at my insides. I don’t know what it is but our mission reminds me of someone I’ve met before. It can’t be her can it? We’d barely met really. I entered and she was swaying to music that only she could hear but darn it I’m a man who loves the sight of a good butt. *This book is the first in a series and is intended for audiences 18+ **All books in the series are standalones, however it is suggested that you meet all the team members in book one. ***There are no cliff hanger endings all books have HEA’s #healingwithasealseries #summerreading #militaryromance #spicyromance #romancereads #supportindieauthors #steamyromance #steamy #spicy #romanceauthors #militaryromanceauthor #authorsoftumblr #writersoftumblr #indieauthorsoftumblr #spicyromanceauthor #books2read #indiebooks #paperbacks #kindlebooks #ebooks #audiobooks

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crowwingedangel · 7 years ago

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My vacation, Part 2: Colossalcon!

This is for everyone who keeps asking me how my time going home/at the convention was. Actually, I’m not very good with talking about my emotional reactions and things on the spot… I’m a writer. I do much better writing it out. So that’s what I’m doing now! If you’re one of those people who wanted to know, or are just curious, feel free to look under the cut!

Below is my experience at the convention! It’s long and will have photos, so check it out!

Wednesday

So I got to Kalahari around 5 and parked my car. It was still pretty early, so there was plenty of parking around. I went to check in, only to learn that my room was fairly close to where I parked my car! SCORE!

I then spent some time making trips to the room with my stuff... I brought a bunch of food, since I knew con food is really expensive, and the room itself was a lot... and I had a VIP pass, so this con was costly enough already. Heh... Luckily though, I got all of my stuff in just before the rain showed up!

My friend I was sharing the room with wasn’t going to arrive until Thursday afternoon, so I had this night to myself. I went and registered for the con and got my pass, then I proceeded to walk around... get the layout of the land, as it where. Alas, my phone was pretty full, so I didn’t take lots of pictures of everything I saw... In fact, I only took a few the whole weekend. But a lot of people took photos, so check out the colossalcon tag if you want an idea of what I saw! I wandered around for a while before heading back to the room and deciding to spend the night chilling... I took a nice bath in the giant tub, then spent the evening making a semi-update for Crimson Wings. That mutant class update? Yeah, I made it during this down time. Eventually I went to bed, knowing I’d have a long day following.

Thursday

The con officially began! I took my time waking up in the morning, and decided to explore for a while, waiting for my friend to arrive. I didn’t wear any cosplay that morning, wanting to save it for when she got there, and wanting to look at everything for a while as myself before I changed...

So I went! Not knowing what to do other then look around, I guessed. But luckily, I came across the usual “I need friends” signs that happen at cons. So, seeing as I was alone, I decided, “why not?” I approached, and made some new friends and we all hugged sexy Jesus (yes you just read that). You may have figured out by now that I don’t really like using people’s names on the Internet so... I’ll just say that the two girls had the same name and the guy’s name was my middle name! There, now some of you may know one of their names...

We hung out for a while and met up several times throughout the con! I’m very socially awkward at making friends, so I’m kind of proud that I managed it... But two of them were dressed as two of my favorite twins when I first saw them, so that helped! We went to the game room and played things for a while, mostly team music games. One of them was like a master at them, but we did pretty good as a team!

Eventually went to the craft fair and saw all the cool stuff people had made and were selling. Eventually my friend arrived and we had to split up, but like I said, I kept in contact with these guys after!

So I met up with my friend, the one who basically functions as my editor for my writing... Did you know my writing has an editor? Well, now you do. I helped get her stuff to the room, and while she got settled, I changed into my Edward Elric cosplay. I don’t have any pictures of this cosplay, but a bunch of people took photos of me, so if one turns up, I’ll put it here! We wandered about and I showed her around. And we finally started buying stuff. I got an Non-binary and an Ace-ace patch. I don’t know what I’m going to put them on, but I liked them! I also got one of those ironed-bead sprite Mad Dummy and a small fox pattern pouch... But then of course I finally found the plushies in the dealer room. And there... was a chubby lucario. I made him mine. ...Well, he was always mine, wasn’t he?! He’s actually under my arm right now as I type this! He’s some comfy! Oh, I can take a photo of him right now, can’t I?

Here he is! My fat boi! So chubby and cute, I love him!

Eventually my friend and I made it back to our room and chilled for the rest of the evening, eating snacks and reading webcomics. I’m pretty good and getting my friends into more webcomics, I think... I had her catch up on a pretty long one that night while we listened to the sounds of party around us.

Friday

Friday, oh boy what I day. It was certainly fun and interesting! So, I (and my grandma, she did the sewing part) worked very hard on a cosplay of RGB from The Property of Hate by @modmad.

I think it turned out very well, and you can see more pictures in my post here. But, being summer and all, it was very hot and the head was pretty much and oven. I could only wear it for bursts of 20 minutes to half an hour at a time before I’d need to go back to the room and rest. I still think it looked cool though, and some people recognized who I was so mission accomplished I guess! But also... @modmad, is his vision really as limited from that screen as I could see? Because there is no peripheral vision at all, someone get him a seeing-eye hero!

I wandered about the convention a lot that day sans the head so that I could... be alive, haha. But I bought myself some manga and ordered a commission that I will probably fill you all in more on later once it is made! ;3 (It’s Crimson Wings related.) It’s by the same artist I bought some buttons from a few years back... And I bought more buttons, of course! I needed my snoot-snoot seal!

In the evening, I had my VIP autograph session... I had brought something for most of them (at least the ones I had stuff for, unfortunately I didn’t own anything to bring for the two ladies :C). I knew I was going to be meeting Steve Blum, so I switched into my Terriermon outfit I had made with my grandma. At the session, I met up with the trio of friends from the other day (I had met up with them earlier that day too, but only for a few minutes). We talking in the lines and such while we waited! I got to meet a few awesome people, including Chris Patton, who I caved and bought a Greed poster to have him sign... I love Greed, you guys... I also met Vic Mignogna and had him sign my FMA Brotherhood DVD set, and met Steve Blum and had him sign my Digimon Tamers DVD (he also kept talking in Guilmon’s voice and I was losing it.) My friends also had Vic do the coffee scene from Ouran which you can see on one of their instagrams here! I also got photos with Vic and Steve because I am weak.

Awesomeness.

Then later that night my editor friend and I went to the Kalahari pool for the after hours time we had! We went nearing midnight, and did stuff like the wave pool, the hot tub, and the lazy river for a while. We were about to leave when I ran into the friend trio again, so we went back into the wave pool for a while before finally heading back to the room. It was like 3 in the morning and I had an early Nintendo photoshoot I wanted to get to!

Saturday

Saturday I cosplayed as Pit the whole day. Nintendo had an early photoshoot that day (well, early considering how late we were up that night and how it’d take a while to get dressed. We’re still waiting for all the photos to come out from it, but it’s page is here. And one photo is out at least with me and the other awesome Pit in it!

It was a lot of fun, and all the smash brothers poses and things were a blast and I hope more photos show up soon! Like we beat up Sandbag and there was the smash ball and-... lots of playing around, I hope they turn up. Unfortunately the Zelda shoot was at the same time, so no Zelda or Link for us... what’s up with that?

Anyway, after that my friend and I hung out in the room for a while, needing to relax after being up so early... I showed her some youtube videos and made her laugh so hard she fell off the bed. Good times! Then we headed back to the con and did more shopping around, smaller things like charms and stickers now, and went to some panels. I said good bye to my new trio of friends who were leaving that afternoon, and hopefully they are doing well!

By the evening I had to go to the room a while because I wasn’t feeling great... I actually bought some actual food at the con because the food we had was basically running out and I needed something to settle my stomach. But when we grabbed food we headed to the Masquerade (The skit / cosplay contest) and watched that! I still chuckle that Tony Stark was the host. It was a lot of fun, and the skits were fun, including some really good singers and a Nurse Joy who wanted to become a trainer (that one had some very clever props, just saying). And those cosplays were amazing. Much appreciation. The halftime show was hilarious, our side’s champion two girls beating the other side’s two men at a blind-folded donut eating contest-... It’s a long story, and this is long enough as it is, haha.

After it was over, my friend and I headed back to the room and ended the night watching some youtube.

Sunday

Alas, the con was basically over. I wore my Terriermon cosplay that day since it’s the simplest and isn’t hot. We had to check out by ten, and my friend had to leave at ten, so we basically got up in the morning, packed my car, and parted ways as she was picked up. I stayed a little longer to check out the flee market. I found some good stuff and spend more money (of course! More pokemon plush for me! ...And some really old digimon toys. Nice.) Once I felt I had checked everything out and had basically spent the last of the cash I had brought with me, I headed back out to my car to start my drive to my parent’s house... I arrived, and then had dinner with my family, including my aunt and uncle at a restaurant, then turned in for the night, having to catch an early flight back down here in the morning...

AND that was the con, everyone! It was a lot of fun and I tried to sort out as much as I could here! I hope that helped answer the basic question of how it was! If you have any more specific questions, feel free to ask!

#Colossalcon #colossalcon 2018 #My Face #Cosplay #The Crow Caws

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novaswimwearsblog · 4 years ago

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one piece swimsuits

Swim fabrics must be stretch a bit when wet, because you're spending most of your time in actual water and in girls swimwear case this is important thing to consider. Take a moment to consider before buying your next swimsuit, where you are going to spend most of your time wearing it and also spend your money. This purchase is building your go-to swimwear look for your entire summer, and we think it worth some thoughtful discussion. Most women wear one piece swimsuits or bikini to: a patio pool, a beach, or a boat. Because the one piece swimwear is simple effective and easy to use because it is not based on the two pieces like bikini it is just one piece which will be enough to cover your body so you can feel one hundred percent confident whenever you wear it, while you’re on beach, boat or a swimming pool party. The stylists at Nova Swimwear have assembled the best colors and material as well for each of these surroundings. We know certain colors will blend in to the area around you and others will stand out. It also include some fact like your skin color your surrounding color and your environment specifically. When wearing red, white, blue, or black, here are the best choices based on where you will be enjoying summer.

Here below we tell you which swimwear will suite you according to your environment.

Open Air Pool:

While you’re at open air pool at your farm or house there is a lots of greenery around you so, with green grass and a patio of wood or cement behind you, red makes a stunning statement. In that kind of pool or surrounding we recommend you wearing the red swimwear for girls these are specifically designs for the young as well as mature women’s.

On boat or fishing:

So the next color comes is white. White is a neat and light color and able to groom your looks and style. As we all know the white is a sensitive color so if your where it on the beach or home pool it will get dirty and lost its glamour if your wear it ion the beach then you can get sand on it soon when you lay your foot on the sand. So for boat party the white color swimwear is the best choice you ever made.

When the summer months starts, and with sunny days and delightfully warmer temperatures on the rise, many questions start rise with the thought of finding new Swimwear for girls. But now the time is to let go of your all anxiety questions ladies, there has never been a better time to embrace your beautiful curves by highlighting them in fashion forward prints and styles. Even though many of us are more critical of ourselves than others could ever imagine, as women, we know that if we are insecure about even the tiniest imperfection, it could inhibit our ability to just relax and have fun. So, nova Swimwear is here to help you to enjoy your summer with your full boost. We are offering the best chlorine proof swimwear for everyone girls, men’s, boys and women’s too we do not let anyone behind in the summer. Because Beach Beauty, this is your summer to exude confidence and truly enjoy yourself it’s all about having the good time.

The fashion of the one piece swimsuit is not old still in trending because of its comfort ability. The flaunting season is here, so girls flaunt at your best. We are talking about summer season, the perfect season to chill out at the beach destination or to enjoy a pool party. If you have plans of enjoying your summer days at beach, then girls it is time to start hunting for a perfect swimwear. A perfect comfy and sensual swimsuit are all you need to enjoy the beach party or pool party. That is why we are here to give fashion guide on how to pick the perfect swimsuit according to your shape of your body and where to buy the trendiest style of swimsuit. one piece swimsuits flatters the body and women who don’t want to flash too much of body can definitely pick our one-piece swimsuit.

· If you’re a fan of sporty or racing swimsuits for summer, then you must look at our competition swimwear for girls. The full-coverage, supportive bikini top features thick shoulder straps, a racer back cut, the most important its chlorine resistant and bold coral accents that really pop. Or you’re looking for a long-sleeve swimsuit commonly known as one piece swimsuits for water sports or extra coverage from the sun this summer? Go with this sporty, functional one-piece from nova swimwear. Made with a quick-drying fabric featuring four-way stretch sit perfectly over your body, and its one hundred percent choline resistant which increase its life spam.

If we talk about material the fabric-wise, we focus on using specialty Lycra’s sourced from beautiful Australia mills, as well as recycled fabrics. They’re always unique and interesting, but equally flexible and durable. We recommend choosing fabrics comfortable for all day wear at the beach and spa.

Purchasing one-piece swimsuit can be difficult to find because this is the best choice that offers the amount of coverage you need while still being sexy and stylish. As far as we know, some women’s people prefer bikinis to one piece swimsuit. And they think one piece swimsuit is an old fashioned. But there are serious benefits to change your favorite bikinis for a one piece swimsuit. Following are some great benefits of the one piece swimsuits. If you’re looking for better-looking alternatives to traditional athletic suits that still perform well, one piece swimwear generally “fit well, and they’re a little bit more comfortable and more stylish.

1. When you about to swimming in public swimming pool, one piece swimsuit can cover your body more and protect the skin from chlorinated water. And provide you great coverage of your skin.

2. You do not have to be worried about the straps fall down when you’re doing swimming or do some water sports on the beach.

3. The core fractured of the one piece is it make your belly looks flat so, you will feel confident and our body looks slim.

4. It's compatible for almost all breast size.

5. You can wear it all day long, and also match it with your favorite skirts or shorts, you can hang around the pool and can swim any time. But with the fancy bikini you can just hang around the pool.

6. It will also help to cover the scar or stretch marks. Some people have the large size birth marks which is not appropriate so it will help you to hide them.

7. It makes you special, unique and charming among of the friends who wear bikinis.

8. If you’re curvy then it perfectly outlines your body curve.

When choosing swimwear, women shouldn’t compromise on support or shape. And in order to achieve this, a suit may require the slightest adjustments. We all have such different needs as women, so looking for suits with adjustability can be a great option. ”Some of our most popular styles feature one piece swimwear and swimwear for girls which allow women to find a personalized fit that’s absolutely perfect for them. To find the best quality swimwear for anyone men’s, women’s or kids, just visit the site below and make your choice from the more than 72,000 of our stylish products. Including jammers, plus size, one piece swimwear and many more.

https://www.novaswimwear.com/

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jonsa-creatives · 7 years ago

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This week’s Author of the Week is vivilove - @vivilove-jonsa!

If you haven’t yet delved into one of Vivilove’s gorgeous stories then where the hell have you been? She is PROLIFIC with her fluff, smut, angst and humour!

Somehow, Vivilove is able to transport you from the wild west, to the Napoleonic wars, to canon, to a vampire Jon’s thoughts, to a horny teenager’s modern bedroom as you read through fic after fic!

Vivilove is more than successful in managing to make me smile, laugh, sob my heart out cry and get turned on blush at the smut!

Do yourselves a favour and go check out her stuff HERE

As always, some excerts from our Author of the Week’s work below the cut....

A Darker Shade of Love

(Vampire!Jon)

Sansa next headed out the back door to the porch. It was large and went across the entire back of the house. There was a couple of guys playing a round of bag toss on one side and a couple making out by the fire pit on the other. It was chilly outside in her costume but she didn’t want to crowd the couple. There was a man standing alone all the way at the edge of the porch, close to the steps.

Well, I could just leave from here. Just walk down the stairs and head around front and walk home. Margaery can keep the damn shoes…I just want to leave.

The man turned to look at her almost as if she had spoken to him and Sansa felt all the oxygen leave her lungs, like someone had just hit her in the chest...with a sledgehammer.

Here, standing less than ten feet away, was an absolutely gorgeous man. He had curly dark hair that hung just past his chin. His eyes looked black with so little light and his skin was pale but not scary or sickly pale. He had a neatly trimmed beard and mustache and he wasn’t wearing a costume, just a black button-down tucked into fitted black jeans and boots.

Well, he could be Johnny Cash, I guess. He is all in black.

Suddenly, the man chuckled at her and raised his eyes skyward for a moment before gifting her with the most beautiful smile.

Oh, my…he is gorgeous. Wonder if he’s single. Knowing my luck, he's not...or he’ll be a prick…or not interested in women.

Just as these thoughts were formed the man laughed softly.

“What’s so funny?” Sansa asked suddenly wondering why this handsome stranger was laughing at her when she hadn’t said a word.

“Nothing, my lovely, nothing,” he said as he smiled at her.

My lovely? Okay, I’ll take that. “I don't think I've seen you on campus before. Are you a member here?” she asked.

“No.” He stood there looking at her after the one word response. Okay…small talk isn’t your forte, I guess. But before Sansa could open her mouth to say something terribly witty or profound…or at least to ask another question, he spoke again, “I’m not in a fraternity and I don’t attend school here.”

“Oh,” was all Sansa could think to say to that. Then, why on Earth would a beautiful man like you waste time at this crappy party? she thought.

“I’m meeting a friend nearby. I was drawn to the music and festivities.” Well, that’s not too weird, I guess...maybe a little? “Why are you here, Natasha?” he asked then.

“My name’s not Natasha.”

“Sorry. You’re Black Widow, aren’t you? Natasha Romanov…”

Okay…so you’re a superhero nerd. I can deal with a nerd, especially a hot nerd like you. The man laughed out loud this time. Is he reading my mind or something?

The man suddenly sobered. “I’m Jon Snow,” he said and held out his hand.

Sansa reached out and shook his hand. “Wow, your hand is cold,” she said. He looked a bit uncomfortable at her comment and put his hands up to his mouth to blow on them. “Uh, sorry. I’m Sansa Stark. I’m here because my best friend begged me to come…and promised to buy me some shoes.” Jon laughed again. He does have a nice laugh. “So, you decided to just come over to check out the drunk college kids and that’s why you’re not in costume?”

“Who says I’m not in costume?” he replied.

Sansa put her hands on her hips and looked him over. “So, what are you?”

“I’m a vampire.”

The Showgirl & the Pit Boss

“Hey,” he said. “You off already?” he asked taking off his tie and tossing it in his bag.

“Yeah...I told Tyrion I wasn’t feeling well.”

Jon did a double-take because for someone who wasn’t feeling well, Sansa was certainly looking well. More than well.

“You…you look really nice.” She did. Her long red hair was down, all brushed out and sleek and shiny, and her lips were red. Her creamy skin and the black dress completed the look. “You got a hot date?” he asked next, trying to joke around but suddenly feeling unsure of himself. She looks like she’s got a date…and our date’s tomorrow night.

“I do,” she said in a low and…sexy voice. “Someone’s taking me for coffee,” she finished with a smile.

Oh, good…it’s me. Yay, me! “Oh, great,” he smiled, relaxing at once. “Shall we then?”

He picked up his bag but Sansa walked over and took it from him. She laid it on the floor. Then, she walked to the door…and locked it.

“But first, there’s something else I want,” she purred right before she kissed him.

His eyes closed just as her lips met his…slow and soft at first and then more intently drawing a groan from Jon. She fisted her hands in his dress shirt to pull him closer as he brought his hands up from his sides and slid them into her silky hair. They kissed for several minutes and Jon felt like he’d surely died and gone to Heaven. And that was before she got down on her knees, grinning up at him as she unzipped his pants.

This is not really happening, he thought at first. Shit like this never happens to me. This is not…unnnn…oh, fuck. Maybe it is happening.

“Sansa,” he moaned looking down at her sucking him. “If this is a dream, would you please not…uhhh…tell me…oh, God…until later?” She didn’t answer but hummed around his cock and continued. “Sansa, love…can you…fuck, I can’t believe I’m about to say this but can you stop for a second?”

She looked up at him in confusion. “Don’t you want this, Jon?”

“I do…oh, honey, trust me, I really, really do but I just want to make sure...I mean, do you really want…”

“Yes, I do…now stop talking so much, Targaryen,” she said then and returned to what she’d been doing.

“Yes, Miss Stark,” he said with a grin, prompting her to smack his ass while her eyes twinkled with mischief.

If this is dream, I really don’t want to wake up…Ever. Again.

Ivory & Steel

(Gunslinger!Jon)

The August day was hot and Jon decided to visit the creek in the low hills. It was not too far out of town but far enough for a bit of privacy most of the time. He hobbled his horse under a tree near the water’s edge and let him drink while he took off his gun belt, boots, hat and clothes, save his skivvies, and waded out into the water. It was a good sized creek, nearly forty feet from one bank to the other at the widest part. The water was not deep though, midway up his chest at the deepest part. It was cool and pleasant in the summer heat. There were birds chirping in the bushes and the sun was shining down on him as he floated and swam a little. There were pretty flowers near the water’s edge and Jon thought that maybe she’d like it here. It was a peaceful kind of place that reminded him a bit of where he came from back in the Appalachians on the border of North Carolina and Tennessee.

He was just about to head back to the creek bank when he heard horses and voices. How many? he thought with some anxiety as he looked over towards his pile of clothes with his guns sitting on top, quite far off at the moment. The newcomers were closer to him than his horse and things further up the creek. I must’ve floated a good ways.

He soon realized that he was only hearing women’s voices though and it was now his britches he was most wishing were within arm’s reach. It sounded like there were no more than three of them. They had led their horses to drink from the creek but the foliage was blocking his view at present. Jon was in the deepest part of the creek towards the far side from them and where his horse and clothes waited. Ghost had wandered off a while ago looking for rabbits no doubt. He couldn’t wade back to the other side without being spotted so he thought he’d stay put. No need to give the women a fright. They might tell their men and it’d only lead to trouble. Then, when he realized who exactly was there, he knew he would definitely be staying put.

“So, do you like it here in High Heart, Miss Stark?” a girl was asking.

“No,” she said a bit sadly. “I’m sorry to say that excepting you all’s company, I can’t say as I do. He’s nothing like I’d hoped and I don’t relish the prospect of marrying him.”

Jon knew that sweet voice at once and to hear that she was not happy made something twist in his gut.

“Are you going back home then?” another girl asked.

“No, I can’t…I promised Mama I’d go through with it if he was willing. He’s willing so here I am.”

“You’ll live in a fine house at least,” the first girl said.

“I lived in a fine house in Richmond. Didn’t make it a happy kind of place…least not once Daddy died.”

Jon recognized the first girl now. It was Jeyne Poole, the minister’s daughter. He moved just enough to recognize the golden locks of the other girl, Myrcella Baratheon, the daughter of the mayor.

“Well, I hope that you’ll be happy with Mr. Bolton. Most girls would be, I’d think,” Miss Poole said primly. “His daddy’s well off and he’s handsome in a way.”

“You’re welcome to marry him if you like, Miss Poole,” Sansa said with a laugh.

Jon moved a bit more to get a better look at her. Once he had a good view of her through the bushes, he felt that tightness in his chest and heat spreading through his loins again. She was holding her hat in her hand and her hair was down. He’d never seen that particular shade of red hair in his life. Ygritte had had red hair but it was always a mess and usually buried under her hat. Sansa’s hair was hanging down her back in soft waves. With the sun upon it, it looked like steel glowing red before it’s worked by a blacksmith.

Miss Poole didn’t seem so pleased by Sansa’s response about Ramsey and said she’d rather not bathe today after all.

“Suit yourself,” Sansa said as she began to take off her dark blue jacket. Miss Poole turned her horse back towards town and Jon saw Miss Baratheon looking uncertain. “Go on with her if you like, Cella. I’ll be fine here.”

“Are you sure, Sansa?”

“I’m sure.”

The other girl rode off after Miss Poole and Jon’s mouth had went dry as he watched Sansa sit down on a rock and start unlacing her boots. Once she had her boots off, he saw a flash of creamy white thighs when she pulled off her stockings. His eyes widened and he was feeling a definite stirring as she unbuttoned her blouse and took it off next. Then, she let her skirt fall to the ground. She removed her bustle and unhooked her corset next, laying everything down in a neat little pile on the bank by her mare. When she was down to her chemise and bloomers she waded out into the water.

Jon edged farther toward the far bank, hiding in some queen’s wreath dangling down in the water that was hanging off a tree growing right on the edge of the creek. What are you doing, you degenerate? Are you really going to hide here watching her like some peeping tom? I reckon I am, he thought next as she came closer to the center of the creek.

She was grinning to herself before she ducked down in the creek with a little squeal. She stood back up giggling aloud as the water ran down her body. The cotton of her chemise and bloomers was soaked and clinging to her every curve. Most of her hair was wet. It looked almost crimson now. She was standing no more than 20 feet from where he hid at the edge. You ought to say something. It ain’t right to be watching her like this.

He couldn’t think of nothing to say though as he could see her perfectly round ass through her bloomers. And when she turned back his direction, he could see the hint of a thatch of hair between her legs…red like the hair on her head…and the soft, round curve of her teats with her nipples pebbled and straining out against her chemise. His cock was definitely hard now and he tried to think of something else and stop staring at her. He didn’t have any success at that.

Just then Sansa’s mare whickered and Jon’s horse answered with a loud snort. She gasped and ducked back down in the water till it was up to her neck. He saw her craning that lovely, long neck out of the water and, when she spotted his stallion further up the creek from her mare, she started looking all around.

“Somebody there?” she called anxiously.

Jon stayed still behind his flowering vines, fearing to even look at her as though his eyes on her might draw her attention to him and his hiding place. Come out now…come out and apologize and tell her you don’t mean her no harm. But before he could utter the words or make a move she started laughing.

“Oh, it’s you,” she said. “You needing to bathe, too? You can come and join me if you like. Where’s your friend?”

Jon’s eyes went wide. Surely to God, she ain’t talking to me! She wasn’t. He peeked out and saw Ghost standing on the bank not ten paces from where he hid with blood on his muzzle and his red eyes gleaming in the shade of the trees. He felt her eyes turn towards him just a moment too late.

“You had enough of a look yet, wolf man?” she asked bemusedly. Jon instinctively darted back and stumbled over a hidden stone in the water and went down with a great splash. She had her head thrown back with laughter when he came sputtering back up the surface. “You going hide up under them vines all day or come out here and talk to me?”

Please, please, please take a look at our Author of the Week’s work and leave them kudos and lovely comments!

#jonsa #jon x sansa #actuallyjonsa #Author of the week

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forever-dreaming-cullen · 7 years ago

Text

[FIC] In the Heat of Summer - Slightly NSFW

Late to the party for day 2 of @cullenappreciationweek: Day 2: Commander Cullen

Thank you to @ekoorb03 for the awesome beta!

Summary: It's summer in Skyhold and it's hot. Cullen and the Iron Bull are sparring, and Bull isn't the only one not wearing a shirt. You get a front row seat to the action, and the temperature just shot up about a hundred degrees!

Read it on AO3

The summer sun high in the sky greets you as you exit the Great Hall, trying to escape the endless prattle and demands of the simpering nobles your position forces you to deal with. As the cool breeze fluttering through the tree branches ghosts over your hot skin, you sigh in relief, happy to be free of the stifling air inside the keep.

As you hop down the steps to the courtyard, you turn your head to the raucous shouting ringing out from the training yard where a crowd has gathered. Curious, you increase your pace as you jog toward it. When you draw closer, you curse your diminutive height because you can't see anything over the heads of people circled around the fenced-in area.

"Show 'im, Commander!" someone shouts near the front of the crowd.

"That's the way!"

You frown. Cullen? He’s fighting someone in the ring?

The clashing sounds of steel on steel reach your ears as well as the grunts of the fighting men and an embarrassing heat pools between your legs. Maker, you have to know. You push forward and as the onlookers notice who is jostling them for space, step aside to allow you through. Being Inquisitor has some perks, after all.

When you get to the fence, the sight your eyes behold stuns you into silent motionlessness. Dancing around the Iron Bull with a grace that no man his size should possess is Cullen, your Commander, and the man you have been pining for since the moment you saw him on the battlefield near the Temple of Sacred Ashes. And he is completely bare-chested.

You think you might faint as you watch him deftly block an attack from the Iron Bull with his shield and jab forward with his own sword. Sweat glistens on the rippling muscles of his chest, shoulders, and arms as he brings his sword up to catch the head of Bull's great ax with a force that shoves the larger man back.

You finally have some answers to things about him that you've wondered about, alone in your bed late at night. Things like, for example, does he have hair on his chest? He, in fact, does: soft golden down covers his pectorals, now darkened with sweat which narrows into a trail that arrows down his impossibly toned abdomen and disappears into the waistband of his pants...which are hanging low over his muscled hips. You bite your lower lip. Maker, if those breeches fall any lower, you’ll get the answers to the other questions you have about your Commander’s gorgeous body.

You scrabble up the fence and perch there to watch the rest of the fight. The Iron Bull has strength and stamina on his side, but Cullen has agility and tactical experience. The two warriors are evenly matched and watching them spar is a joy.

"Hey, Cullen," Bull calls out as he tries to get in a blow under the ex-Templar's shield. " Thought you oughta know. You got a special audience."

Cullen neatly blocks him and casts a quick glance toward the sidelines. You can tell when he spots you, for his eyes widen and his defense falters for a second. Taking advantage of the distraction, Bull lands a glancing blow to Cullen's left shoulder. You gasp, covering your mouth as Cullen staggers backward under its force. But Cullen recovers and maintains his balance, shifting his stance and swinging his sword threateningly.

"Now that was a dirty trick, Bull, " Cullen hisses through his exerted panting. A dangerous smirk crosses his lips. “But it doesn’t matter — I’ll still best you!”

He launches himself into a leaping spin, performing a shield bash that stuns the big Qunari and lets him land a hard blow against the other’s large hand with the haft of his sword, sending his opponent’s great ax flying to the other side of the arena. Sticking his sword into the ground, tip first, he tosses away his shield and offers his hand.

"Do you concede?"

Bull laughs loudly and engulfs Cullen's hand in a hearty shake. "Yeah, I concede," he says. "Appreciate the spar, Commander." The crowd erupts in loud cheers of victory and congratulations for the Commander.

“It was a good fight. Thank you for helping me with this demonstration." Cullen nods to Bull, clapping him on the bicep, then turns to the recruits gathered on one side of the training yard. "And that is how you can best a much larger and stronger opponent."

The young recruits, apparently impressed by their fierce and experienced Commander, send up a rousing cheer. You watch as he gives them some further instructions before dismissing them for the afternoon. The sun shines down on his blond head, picking up the paler strands in his golden hair. Would it feel as smooth as it looks? You shake your head to get rid of the image of you running your hands through his thick locks. He is the Inquisition’s Commander, and you are the Inquisitor. There is a war going on, and you have no time for such foolishness.

You are about to jump off the fence when you notice that on his way to the Herald’s Rest, Bull has stopped beside Cullen to tell him something, nodding his horned head in your direction. You can’t quite hear what he says, but Cullen shoots a quick glance at you and his cheeks pinken slightly. Bull grins wide and gives the Commander a shove toward you. What were they talking about?

You don’t have long to wonder, because as Bull leaves the ring, Cullen faces you and regards you with his golden eyes. The intensity of his stare unnerves you a little...okay, it unnerves you a lot, and you nearly topple backward over the fence when he starts walking toward you. No, he is stalking toward you, with all the savage grace of the lion he is nicknamed for.

And then he is in front of you, all 6 feet plus of him, so close that you can see the droplets of sweat clinging to his chest hair. You watch a droplet run from his collarbone down to where the hair is thickest at the center of his chest and swallow, very aware of the heat of him standing before you. You dare to glance up, and Maker, you almost wish you hadn’t because he’s looking at you with heated golden eyes. He places one hand on the fence on either side of you and continues appraising you, one corner of his mouth turned up in that smirk that always makes you melt.

He raises one honey eyebrow and says "So, Inquisitor, did you enjoy the show?"

You blink and stare into his eyes."I — yes, I did," you stutter helplessly. The scent of fresh sweat, dirt, and man is nearly overwhelming.

"I'm glad to hear it," he murmurs and leans in closer. "And now, my lady, I seek a small token of your...appreciation. Would you allow your humble Commander this?"

That golden stare is anything but humble. You lick our lips; your mouth has gone as dry as the Hissing Wastes. “W-what do you want?”

A warm chuckle rumbles through his chest. “Nothing so onerous, dear lady, I assure you. “ A hand comes up to hold your chin between his thumb and forefinger so that you can’t look away from his gaze. “It is only a kiss I seek. Surely you would not begrudge a man so little?”

So little, indeed. What would he say if you told him that you fear you might explode into a million pieces at the touch of his lips? That you’ve dreamed about kissing him every night since Haven? You lick your lips again, clenching your hands into fists to prevent them from reaching out to touch all that tempting skin that was so close, even as you feel yourself leaning forward toward him.

“Yes, alright, Commander,” you rasp out, your voice cracking from the dryness in your throat.

His smirk widens into a grin that shows off his beautiful white teeth. He leans in again and covers your lips with his. His lips are surprisingly soft, and the outline of his scar presses against your mouth. What would he do if you licked it?

Then his tongue presses against the seam of your lips, asking for entry, and already drunk on his nearness, you open for him. He slips it inside your mouth and explores its contours, sliding against yours, so slick, wet and delicious. Boy does the man know how to kiss!

And he tastes so good, of peppermint and his unique flavor — better than you ever dreamed on those lonely nights alone in your tent. You drink him in and slide your own tongue against his, kissing him back with a fervor that you are pretty sure you've never felt for anyone else. He tilts his head and slants his hot mouth over yours to deepen the kiss, and one of his hands buries itself in your hair while your own wrap around his neck. When he lifts you off the fence and pulls you against him, your legs find his waist and wrap around him.

The kiss goes on and on, and you don’t want it to stop; you would happily die in his arms. Your erect nipples, separated from his hot skin by only the thin fabric of your sleeveless camisole, brush against his hard chest. A needy moan rises from your chest as his strong hands cup your ass and press you firmly against his erection. You grind against it, desperately seeking friction to assuage the ardor rapidly taking over your mind and body.

“Atta girl, Quiz!” It’s Sera’s voice, carrying down from her room above the tavern. Other sounds come to you then, too: the hoots and hollers of the crowd that hasn’t yet broken up and are now shouting out encouragements to Cullen. Your cheeks heat as you pull away from his lips and he chases after the kiss before leaning back, one brow arching in question.

“You should let me down now, Commander,” you whisper. “We, um, have an audience.”

But he does not release you. Instead, the insufferable man tightens his grip on you and that damn sexy smirk of his turns up the scarred corner of his mouth.This close up, you can see each little crinkle at the corners of his eyes, and Maker, how you would love to kiss each one.

“If you think I am letting you go now when I have just discovered what a fiery minx you are, you are quite mistaken.” With one hand holding onto you, he vaults over the fence, using his other hand for leverage and stalks through the crowd, making for the stairs to the battlements.

“Where are you taking me?” The pool of fire between your legs threatens to engulf you because you think you already know the answer.

He glances down at you, taking the steps two at a time. “To my chambers, Inquisitor. I need to debrief you in private about some important…matters.”

“Oh.”

You smile, waving to the soldiers you pass as your Commander carries you off to have his way with you. You couldn’t be more pleased.

#cullen appreciation week #day 2 #cullen/inquisitor #undefined female inquisitor #sparring #making out #shirtless cullen #because I am trash #POV second person

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kizardofkoz · 5 years ago

Text

Oh. Boy.

We are tied together by an invisible rope that no one can see but me.

And my cells.

It looks like milk and blood and tears and sweat, pouted bottom lips, first smiles, spit up, engorged breasts, dirty laundry and sweet 3:00 am smiles between burps, after switching sides nursing in the low salt lamp light of the nursery. Because after six weeks of never getting more than three hours of connected sleep, these smiles are nature’s way of making sure that I don’t abandon my offspring. Which I couldn’t regardless because I would feel him cry from 20 miles away.

I have only been away from him for 20 minutes in 6 weeks. Maaaaybe 24. We are tethered together and when he cries, my muscles vibrate and the back of my head floods with blood and alarm and I can not completely relax until he is completely relaxed, because this is motherhood and what I signed up for. Along with the unmatched joy of love, firsts, laughter, chubby armed hugs and sticky kisses. And the unmatched fear of college tuition, physical and mental well being, and trying to decide if it is actually that important to eat completely organic because again, college tuition, and who the heck is trimming their finger nails and when did everyone’s knuckles turn to sandpaper on the verge of bleeding? Who the heck has been managing their winterized skin because it certainly is not me. Where is their mother!

Oh.

Wait.

Shit.

Aquaphor to the rescue!

I have not written in eons because life keeps happening and it is so hard to justify things that I feel I want, arguably need to do. No need to interrupt with a monologue on self care. I am very aware and I also hate the term ‘self care’ and there are more important things I should be doing while you’re talking. Like writing. Or laundry. Or crying.

Anyways. This past year, 2019, was a year to remember and to never repeat.

JANUARY:

I booked my first commercial! Oh, btw, for those who don’t know, I do commercial modeling now. Before that sounds insanely glamorous and braggadocious, I have to clarify that “Commercial Modeling” is the type of modeling that you do in the Midwest where basically you are being hired to fit the criteria of a stereotype. There are Allll sorts of people, sizes, colors, etc. signed as commercial models and it has less to do with a person looking like a runway model, and more with a person just looking like, a person. And knowing how to find your light.

But it’s been a fun new venture in this chapter of life and I have really enjoyed getting to do something *new*.

And get *attention*.

And enjoying the *crafts table* on sets.

In January, we also thought that we wanted to expand our family. I then came down with Influenza A the day after a really wonderful couples Mexican night at a friend’s house.

I prayed that I didn’t infect any other person there.

I prayed not to die.

FEBRUARY!

Two weeks later I got the stomach bug followed by Influenza B two weeks after that. My body was trying to quit 2019.

I couldn’t blame her.

We decided to put child creation on pause until the Fall, as we weren’t even sure it was the right decision for our family as we daily debated the pros (Baby! Love! Four part harmony!) And cons. (Money! Time! Laundry! The time and money it will take to do all of that laundry!)

Steve began traveling more than ever this year. And my body forgot how to be a body.

End February.

MARCH

The day after my birthday we left for our first ever family vacation. We flew to visit my in-laws in Naples, Florida. We discussed that this trip could be a litmus test for whether or not we should expand our family. A test of *Can we really handle this?*. (hahhahaahhahhahha.) The answer to this question is always, Always, a “No”. And if you Can answer “Yes”, you’re naive, because the answer is always “No”. But that shouldn’t deter you. Mostly.

This trip was by far a high-light of the year, and life, really. The boys saw the ocean for the first time. We went on a swamp tour, ate fresh papaya, homemade almond milk, Key Lime pie and picnicked on the beach with pbjs and rosé. We walked around the lake of the condo’s complex every afternoon feeding birds and fish, and I feel like I relaxed and soaked in life in a way that I had not in recent months.

Perhaps years.

There is something so healing about being near the ocean.

There is something so healing about being away from daily responsibilities.

There is something so healing about watching an alligator eat a giant marshmallow four feet from where your family is sitting on a boat with no railing in the middle of our nation’s finest treasure swamp.

IMPORTANT MOMENT:

During our last walk around the lake on our last day, Steve & I were revisiting our initial conversation of *Can we do four?* I said that if I were to look at the past week, assess our lives and deduce all of the information and experiences of traveling and being responsible for these three little men under the age of 6, there is really no good reason for us to expand our family. So we need to come to a firm decision together and I either need to grieve the idea of having four children, which is something, even as a child, I always thought would happen, or we need to confidently decide together that expanding is something we want and we will neither regret nor resent the other person when times get tough.

Because times will get tough.

We decide to wait, open-endedly.

Revisit the conversation at home.

Decide in the fall after we probably move this summer.

Just then a lovely Floridian retiree who looked like he was maybe a sports-coach-businessy-man in his younger years, passed us on the walking path on our left. With complete abandon and zero reason to speak to this stranger, let alone ask such a pointed question, I began:

Me: Excuse me sir.

Sporty-Business-Senior-Citizen: (A little confused why I am interrupting his walk) Yes?

Me: (Presuming he even had children) How many children did you have?

SBSC: Four. Four boys.

Steve and I looked at each other.

And cracked up.

Nervously. Hilariously. With disbelief. And total abandon.

Steve: Why does God always do that for you?

I think because I ask.

APRIL

No more flus! Although a wonderful lingering cough that sounds like I have smoked everything I could for the past several years wakes up with me every morning and really shines when I try to sing at church. I keep kleenexes in my pocket to accompany the sexy vibe of my death rattle and question if my lungs will ever be *just air* again.

Around mid-April I also began to feel really tired. Like, REALLY tired. I would lay in bed with the now-4 year old after reading him his book before nap and wondered if my body was going to be able to get back up.

Huh.

Wait.

Shit.

I know this tired.

I peed on a stick. Because I always have extra tests around the house, stashed like a crazy little doomsday pack rat worried about procreation once shit hits the fan. It will be the Walton’s in their underground luxury bunker, and me in my home, surrounded by a ton of pregnancy tests.

Positive.

I peed on four more sticks.

Positive.

X4.

To this day, I truly don’t understand how or when this happened because I tracked everything and knew when what was happening and the only explanation was that I ovulated twice or something in March, or early April, or a miracle, or I have no clue. But we were supposed to have four children, like my bones always knew, and God defied science and time and we were pregnant again, after trying, deciding to wait until the fall, not trying, while trying to decide what is the best decision for our family, and boom. I was so relieved and elated that we never had to make a final decision. Bonus baby came, and without giving too much information, although my comfort zone is typically a swimming pool filled to the brim with too much information, for the extremely curious and connoisseurs of poetry, from what I could deduce, bonus baby probably happened on April 1st, or April Fool’s Day.

Why does God always do that for me?

Because there are few things I appreciate more than a sparkling sense of humor.

MAY

Shoot a commercial. Boys end school. Begin summer lessons - which I think I love.

JUNE

Decide I hate summer lessons. Our house is too small, too noisy, not good for students, not good for our family, not good for me.

Decide we need to sell house.

JULY

House goes on the market. Hemorrhage money to get the house on the market (This was our first experience selling a house - WHICH I NEVER WANT TO DO AGAIN. It is completely absurd how much money it costs to sell a house. You question how you could have even lived in it before all of the updates and repairs. Answer is, easily. I really loved that house and she served us very well.)

Steve travels a ton.

We find out the fetus, which my friends nick-named “Quadzel” is indeed a boy. Which we all knew, didn’t we? Kozels are never on time. Kozels love pizza, dance parties, and dogs. Kozels. Make. Boys.

4 boys.

Four.

Boys.

There’s four of them.

HAHAHHAHAHhahahahahAHAHAHAHhaha

Moving on.

Pregnancy, house hunting, home selling, money, work, parenthood, traveling spouse, about does me in. I cry a lot. And sweat a lot because St. Louis summers feel like you are inside of a dragon’s nostril, and I wonder when this chapter will ever end.

Get offer on house.

Buyers walk away.

Cry a whole, whole, whole, bunch.

Question if the water sac that my fetus is growing in is mostly made of cortisol, tears, nourished by potato chips, bananas and sparkling water.

House goes back on market.

Get offer on house.

AUGUST

Close on new house. Pack. Clean. Paint.

Three biggest highlights of our summer:

1.) Our nanny. She loves our boys and family as if we all share DNA. She is loving, kind, enthusiastic, an unbelievable singer, she laughs easily, cares for my family so deeply, and she puts a cross across my growing belly when she hugs me goodbye. I love this girl as if we share DNA.

She is family.

2.) Our painter. He is incredibly smart, wildly funny, appreciates good food, my children, my chaotic inability to have normal emotions and we enjoy a witty banter mixed with shared lunches of hummus and crackers, discussing thoughts on faith, politics and paint tips, with a few Seinfeld and Jimmy Stewart impressions thrown in for good measure.

3.) Our new house. We won the lottery here. It holds us (and more!), and is a ranch (which I always wanted because our next door neighbor’s house growing up was a ranch and it felt enormous - it was also enormous - but I loved how much space it felt like there was to walk around. To hide from future children).

In this new house there is a place for me to do piano lessons, a swing set (that needs some TLC) and my deal-breaker of finally having a fireplace (there are TWO, which makes us seem waaaay Richy Richer than we are). And my final wish-list item which is a separate mudroom. It’s divine. And has somehow become the room that I spend the most time in, because this is also where I fold laundry as it doubles as an upstairs space to watch TV since the piano took over the main living room area. This also makes us look high brow and fancy, not having a TV in the main part of the house. But then you realize we just moved the TV into the mudroom, which actually reads very desperate, thus creating a fancy-deficit.

The biggest win of all, however, is our street. There are three other families (two a little older) that have four boys. (WHAT?!) It’s like there is some cosmic, magnetic pull toward Y chromosomes to the end of this little street in this little neighborhood, and we had no chose but to move in.

And this lovely little street laid with asphalt and testosterone happens to be notorious for trick or treating. Or the night that we send our kids to bed with eyeliner whiskers stained on their faces, drunk off of sugar and an extended bedtime, while we can go downstairs, drink a pumpkin beer and eat their full size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

But there are kids. Lots. It feels like a bottled up moment in time where kids still ride bikes in the streets and a dad that throws a football to his sons on Sunday afternoons while neighborhood kids run from one house to the next - or stay where they can until a parent throws them out.

Because you know what is not quiet? 7 year old boys. And eventually they are going to smell terrible. And be somewhat bad influences on each other. But for today, they make dumb jokes and play with Legos and try to impress each other and still cry when their feelings get hurt. I want to bottle up this age because time is limited and those dumb jokes are going to turn dirty, and Legos will be replaced with video games and they won’t cry anymore. Especially when they need to.

We celebrated our 11th anniversary. Steve turned 37 the next day.

SEPTEMBER

All. Three. Boys. Are. In. School.

We are moved into the new house and I spend the next three months with free mornings painting, cleaning, unpacking, decorating, painting, cleaning, nesting, laundry, painting, nesting, laundry, eating and I am the most productive that I have been since 2012.

And we lost and found Pocket about a billion times.

OCTOBER

Pocket turns 11 and promises to quit trying to run back to our old house.

Annual lake weekend with our best friends.

Book an industry gig in Chicago for an airline. Turns out “Tired, pregnant mom” is marketable?

Eat, Paint, Love.

NOVEMBER

I begin contracting. My due date has changed eight times since our first OB appointment. By the end of November I contract every day and every day I think I am in labor. We skip Thanksgiving at my Aunt & Uncle’s house because we are afraid of going into labor two hours from home.

We don’t.

But an alternativeThanksgiving in town at our aforementioned friends’ house ends up being a really special celebration and much needed distraction. Because who doesn’t want a 9 month pregnant woman at their Thanksgiving table, going inward while she contracts between bites of pumpkin pies. I use the plural here because in addition to this family’s gift of being warm and welcoming to us at their Thanksgiving table, they are also notorious for their pie enthusiasm. I had limited time left to eat for two so that day I ate pie for about 9.

Eat, Pray, Contract.

DECEMBER

Part of the gaggle of due dates has to do with the fact Quadzel is measuring large.

After weeks, days and prayers of choosing whether or not to induce, we decided to go ahead and listen to our OB’s advice and do a 39 week induction on December 6th. I had never had an induction date before and for my swan song delivery, I really wanted to go into labor on my own. Screw that. The amount of contractions crescendoing in the three weeks leading up to this induction date sufficed that noble desire. And the exhaustion and impatience from these three weeks made going in the morning of the 6th feel like relief and success.

At 4:41pm, air filled the lungs of our fourth and final boy. My body almost instantaneously felt relief from having him out of me, like a giant fetus sized splinter being removed. Our little 8 lb.12 oz. spud settled down almost instantly in my arms.

Kepler R. Lumen Kozel looked like his brothers, but mostly like himself.

Our family was complete.

The following weeks were mixed with stomach bugs, snow days and Christmas, all jumbled up in every order, and we were trying to adjust to a family of six.

And I don’t think we lost Pocket once.

In one light, my year reads quite magically. New house. New baby. New gigs. New chapters.

Healthy. Happy. Home.

In a different light, I look back and see a mother and wife who was balancing on thinning ice while watching a river of stress and anxiety rush beneath her feet. Viruses, decisions, hormones, pregnancy, stress, raising three boys, working from home, traveling husband, selling a house, buying a house, money stress, time stress, gosh damn inspection failure stress and throw in aggressively paying off credit cards, living as cheaply as possible for months, a few really painful conversations with people very important to me, and trying to be a good piano teacher, friend, sister and daughter. It was too much. I cried a lot in 2019.

And if I could change one thing, I actually wouldn’t change that stress. Or even getting the flu(s) or having buyers back down on our house.

I would like to change my response.

I would like to acknowledge, without shame, the fear and anxiety that bubbles, boils and swirls inside of me. And I would instead take back the wheel from these emotions and after a good hug and a few deep breaths. I would exhale and faithfully consider that my life is not going to catastrophically implode, the stress is temporary, and I don’t have to live in a place where there is a pedal tone of fear vibrating underneath my hours.

(I also have an internal struggle where I realize that all of these challenges are very privileged problems. I am lucky to have these stressors because I was born a white heterosexual woman in a family in a certain socio-economic level, in America. There are still issues within those parameters, but I feel a bit squeaky or tone deaf if I don’t at least acknowledge that I know there are so many, many people out there that wished they had my problems to deal with. But then this goes into my thought process of just how one person’s beauty does not negate another person’s beauty. One person’s suffering doesn’t negate another person’s suffering. We can call just listen to one another with compassion and empathy and respond with “Wow, I’m really sorry you’re hurting”. Or, “That seems like a lot on your plate. I am sorry you are struggling, I would too.” Or for me personally, “What coffee or champagne can I bring you?”)

I don’t know when I will learn to live in a place where I don’t react at 100 and feel my throat tighten and the muscles at the base of my neck feel like if they can contribute and hold my skeleton together, then I have more control.

Because I don’t.

And for the most part, things work out whether or not my throat and neck help.

I could have just gone through last year more relaxed and faithful and end up exactly where I am. Which is a pretty great place. Minus the extra stress and worry. (smerky smerk)

But that feels completely unrealistic, and not even authentic to who I am.

But I can work on authentically and empathetically giving myself space to acknowledge these stressors, and then to breathe. Deeply. Wholly. Holy.

Fear and anxiety will never fully go away, but I can at least relieve them from their driving privileges and promote myself from sitting shotgun in my own shit show.

This past year has also taught me three very valuable lessons:

I will forever be getting a flu shot for the rest of my life.

I truly don’t plan on moving again, for the rest of my life.

If we do end up moving, it will be because we have entirely too much money to fit inside of this house and we will hire people to do every last aspect of moving, from packing things into boxes, to getting a stupid fence up to code, and filling in every nail hole and repainting our walls to make it look like we never lived here. And there are tons. Because I’m a nail three times, then measure kind of girl.

Which is probably one of my most annoying charms.

Along with hearing from God.

And gestating enormous boys.

(Let it be known, it took actually 10 gosh damn days to write this stupid thing. There is never a complete window of time to do anything. Kepler naps about 36 seconds at a time before spitting up and shitting himself and then I soothe him back asleep. And I am tired of hearing every single person’s opinion on the Super Bowl. It happened. I nurse every two to three hours around the clock right now and I internet better than anyone. I am tired of reading about this. Let’s get back to pictures to unconsciously, subconsciously (did you like that?) make everyone jealous, posting funny animal videos and acting like we are all experts on politics. K? K! xo, KK)

My computer isn’t wanting to compute well right now and this seems to be the only photo I can upload from My Photos. Which is weird and wonderful as these are our dear friends who we couldn’t be luckier to do life with. Annual lake weekends and Thanksgivings with them. They have amazing taste in food, music, and style. Our senses of humor and interests seem to braid together effortlessly, and they are my favorite people to share a bottle of wine, Mike’s Hot Honey, or 1000 pies with.

Here is Kepler. King of calories. Poops hourly. And now smiles like a pumpkin.

These are photos from his first 24 hours, when the boys came to meet him for the first time. I cherish these photos more than most earthly possessions and we paid for them and I am getting ever penny’s worth so here are some faves.

And you should check out Crystal Bucky because she is such an amazing photographer.

And here he is yesterday. Wearing a 6 month outfit in his eighth week of life. What a hoss. I love him.

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