#No MOM I don’t want to suspend disbelief I want to be ACCURATE

[caterpillarinacave]

I’m not even kidding when I say the biggest roadblock to posting any NATM fics right now is the fact that I do not know ancient Egyptian

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance

Rating: 4 out of 5

Content Warning: Parent Death (off-page) 

Summary:

What if your town was sliding underwater and everyone was ordered to pack up and leave? How would you and your friends spend your last days together?

While the adults plan for the future, box up their possessions, and find new places to live, Keeley Hewitt and her friends decide to go out with a bang. There are parties in abandoned houses. Canoe races down Main Street. The goal is to make the most of every minute they still have together.

And for Keeley, that means taking one last shot at the boy she’s loved forever.

There’s a weird sort of bravery that comes from knowing there’s nothing left to lose. You might do things you normally wouldn’t. Or say things you shouldn’t. The reward almost always outweighs the risk.

Almost.

It’s the end of Aberdeen, but the beginning of Keeley’s first love story. It just might not turn out the way she thought. Because it’s not always clear what’s worth fighting for and what you should let become a memory.

*Opinions*

For the sake of honesty, I took a college class and was a TA for Siobhan Vivian in college, so this isn’t a completely unbiased review. That being said, it had been many moons since college and I really enjoy this book. There is something so relatable about a teenage girl watching the world change around her and desperately clinging to anything that feels normal, even if most of us didn’t experience our town being swallowed by a river. There are some contemporary novels that you have to suspend your disbelief because it is a fiction novel, I did not get that feeling during The Last Boy and Girl in the World. 

Anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional family will see themselves in the Hewitt family. Keeley’s mom is attempting to take care of everyone, her patients, her daughter, and her husband without taking a moment for herself. Keeley’s father had experienced an injury that has left him unable to work, spending the first third of the book doing nothing but sitting on his laptop looking at political news. While Vivian did not put a political leaning to this information, in the year 2023 there was something slightly insidious about this that makes his final decisions easier to foreshadow than the first time I read it. It hurt so bad for Keeley to try so hard thinking she was doing the right thing only to be let down. Then there is Keeley, stuck in the middle of these tensions at home, desperately trying to make things go back to the way they were before, to keep everything from changing, feeling as if it is her job to make everyone laugh and smile. You just want everyone to be happy and if that means lying or making a fool of yourself, then that is what you do. 

This leads to Keeley as the main character. I saw some reviews stating that she is selfish and self-absorbed, and I want you to show me a teenager that isn’t. She was the friend that never got hit on by boys, always felt like the odd wheel out, and therefore did things to make everyone laugh to get attention. Then, the boy she had a crush on for years finally notices her, and she is desperate to do anything to keep his attention, even sacrificing other relationships to do it. Even the moments when Jeese isn’t perfect and Keeley attempts to explain it away to herself felt so painfully accurate. I was the type of girl to do things she wasn’t uncomfortable with to get a crush’s attention so I felt for Keeley when those decisions started to catch up with her. 

The tension between Keeley, Morgan, and Elise also was painfully accurate to relationships when a third person is added to a best friend group. The jealousy and the want to blame all the weirdness in the dynamic on the new person. Keeley is the type of person who remembers everything about a friendship and put a lot of weight on tangible objects, such as the sticker book. It doesn't occur to her that these things don’t mean the same to Morgan, who is growing and changing with her experiences at church and her close relationship with her mother. Keeley thinks that Elise is the reason for the distance in their friendship, not realizing that her constant need to make everyone happy makes it so that no one feels as if they can talk to her about serious topics. Then she falls further and further into Jeese’s antics without being a good friend to Morgan and it was all bound to come to a fight. I am happy with the open-ended way that relationship ended, it felt realistic. 

The only real issue I had was I still didn’t feel as if the relationship between Levi and Keeley was given enough time for how it progressed to make sense. This time I picked up on how alike they were, though neither wanted to admit it, like how they were the ones to dress up for Mock Congress, he just didn’t get enough page time. Levi was a very kind and nice guy dealing with a lot of his own issues and calling Keeley out when she needed a reality check, we just didn’t get enough time together for their relationship to progress the way it did. I wish there was more of an open-ended end to that relationship as well, something a little less jarring. 

Overall, I think that this is a great contemporary YA romance that captures the feeling of being a teenager and everything that comes with that. This is a four-star read and reminds me of all the stupid things I did as a teenager in the hopes that people would like me. May we all look back at this time and see it as the same beginning as Keeley did. 

[mickeymouse-moshpit]

street lights, people

A/N: In the biker AU I learned about through the amazing @maybege‘s Biker!Paz and Biker!Boba upcoming stories, I created a pediatrician!reader who falls in love (eventually, I’m talking a few parts here) with Biker!Fennec Shand. I use as much gender neutral language as possible, but reader is AFAB and uses she/they pronouns. Also hi, May! it’s me that anon who dropped by a couple times. I hope you all enjoy this, I'm sorry there isn’t more Fennec/peds!reader interaction, but I will have more in the future I promise!

P.s: let’s all suspend our disbelief when it comes to the judge doing strange things, had to have conflict somewhere

Summary: When the local pediatrician has to go to a hearing for one of her patients, she stumbles across Fennec Shand, the head of the local chapter of Bikers Against Child Abuse (BACA). 

Rating: T for now, E in the future (possibly) 

Warnings: References to past child abuse, domestic violence, NO descriptions of the actual acts

Chapter One: January 8th

“Okay, Seb. You look good, I don’t see any reason why you can’t go back to school on Monday.”

“Really, Doc? I can’t even stay out one more week?”

“Sorry, bud. I know another week of winter break would be nice, but you gotta go back to the real world. Sucks, but I got told nope too when I asked for Monday off.”

“Fiiiiiine I’ll go back.”

“Good, good. Mom, how are we feeling today?”

“Much better, things have been stable at home but I’m nervous that something is going to happen tonight.”

“Do you have BACA’s contact? If not, I can get Max to give it to you when you check out. They can swing by tonight after the hearing to make sure nothing happens to you and Seb.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that. Do you think they would mind?”

“From what I’ve seen, they won’t mind at all. When I was in residency, there was a kiddo that the chapter there took day and night shifts for three weeks while the father was out on bail while the trial happened. If a kid needs it, they’ll make it happen.”

“Thank you, for everything. Will we see you this afternoon?”

“For sure, I’ve got to get all my notes signed then I’ll be heading over there.”

“Doc, will you sit with me after you’re finished?”

“Of course, Seb. Do you want me to bring anything with me?”

“Do you have any of those peanut butter cookies?”

“Seb! She’s a busy person!”

“It’s okay, and yes I do. I made them last night just in case you might want some today.” You smiled at him and he beamed back. “Okay you two, head on out and Max will take care of you. I’ll see you over there.”

Seb bounced out of the room, his mom following behind them.

You shook your head and headed out of the exam room and into your office, closing the door behind you. You unlocked your computer and pulled up his chart, finished typing up the note you had started that morning before he arrived. You read and reread the note, making sure it was as accurate and representative of Seb’s course since discharge from the hospital as you could make it without having seen him every day. Finally satisfied, you signed it and called CPS to make sure they knew it was done.

You leaned back in the black leather chair, pondering how much of your credibility you would lose if you showed up in the Winnie the Pooh dress you had worn because of the proportion of toddlers on the schedule that morning. You sighed and pushed yourself up and toward the hook on the door to your office and pulled down the suit that lived there. It was plain black but tailored perfectly. You cut an imposing picture when you paired it with the sharp white button down and simple black pumps that you wore when you needed a confidence boost. You slid the pants on, and ditched the dress before buttoning up the shirt and tucking it in. You put the jacket on, then your boots. The pumps would have to wait until you got to the courthouse, seeing as they were currently sitting on the passenger seat of your car. You gathered your things and made sure the computer was locked again before clicking off the lights and shutting the door behind you.

You stopped at the front desk where Max handed you the sealed manilla envelope that held the morning’s note before they went to lunch. You grabbed your overcoat, the soft wool soothing under your fingertips as you put it on over your suit. It had started to snow while you were in clinic, coating everything with fresh white powder. You would be more excited about it if you weren’t about to go have a hand in deciding a young kid’s fate. You shivered as you turned on the seat warmer and let the car warm up while you plugged your phone in and got your seatbelt on. You pulled out of the spot and onto the highway.

***

You sat for a moment more, closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths, counting in and out. Satisfied, you made sure the document was in your briefcase before putting on your dress shoes and getting out. You stepped carefully, not wanting to show up wet and shivering from the snow. You smiled when you saw the few bikes parked outside the courthouse. You knew BACA had been working with Seb and his family as long as you knew him, but this was the first time you had been to the courthouse for a hearing.

You almost made it inside but skidded on a small patch of ice a few feet from the door. You would have fallen, but a couple of strong arms grabbed and steadied you.

“Whoa, there! I would ask where the non-skid footwear is but the more important thing, are you okay?”

You looked at the woman who had caught you, struck dumb for a moment. She was wearing a leather jacket with a charcoal grey wool sweater underneath. Her hair was pulled into a braid that disappeared down her back and she was wearing a smirk that made you blush.

“Sorry about that. I almost made it too, ugh! Yeah, I’m fine. I remembered too late that my boots don’t fit in my briefcase so had to risk it. Thanks for saving me.”

She kept one hand on your midback as you walked through the door.

“It’s no problem, just maybe wear the boots next time.” She let you go as you got past the mats that kept the floors from being too slippery. You nodded in response and walked to the stairs that led up to the courtrooms. You steadied your breathing as you walked up the marble. You pushed the door and stepped inside, sitting just behind Seb and his mom.

***

“… and plan for follow up in four weeks, or sooner if needed.” You finished reading the note.

“Thank you, doctor. You may step down. We will reconvene after a fifteen-minute recess.” The judged banged the gavel once and left for their chambers.

You made it down the step in one piece and headed for the door, grabbing your briefcase as you went. You wanted a drink of water and needed to give Seb his cookies before he had to go back inside. You grabbed your briefcase and sat down on the bench with Seb. His mom was a few feet away, whispering to the lawyer and social worker on the case. She looked worried.

“How’re you feeling, kiddo?” You pulled a water bottle and the baggie of cookies out, handing them to Seb before getting out your own water.

“I’m okay, I think.” He took a sip of water. “Mom’s worried, she won’t say anything to me, but I know she is.”

“She’s your mom and doesn’t have control over this outcome. That’s enough to make anyone worry. Are you worried?”

“I don’t know, a little. This time it was really bad, and I know we’ve got plans for leaving but it just hasn’t happened yet. I think something happened, but I don’t know. I don’t want to leave.”

“It’s okay to be worried, whatever happens, you two will take it in stride. You’ve got a lot of people rooting for you.”

“Thanks, Doc. And thanks for the cookies, I know mom wasn’t happy I asked about them but I’m really glad you made them.”

“No problem, Seb.” You took the cookie he offered and savored it, wondering what the new judge was going to say. They were new to the town, new to the case. You just hoped they would be fair.

***

You walked out of the marble building with a silent Seb and mom beside you. 30 days. They had 30 days to find a way out of that house or Seb would be sent to live with his grandparents two counties away and barred from seeing his mom until she was out of the house. You could have sworn you heard disgust when you heard the judge reference Seb’s mom. But the gavel had fallen and now there was an due date on the plan.

***

You considered yourself lucky that you had avoided any more stumbles between your car and the door of the pub. You swirled the whiskey in your glass and took a sip, savoring the flavors that washed over your tongue. You didn’t usually come here, but as you started to drive home, you found your mind running around and around the afternoon’s events and you couldn’t make them stop.

Unknown to you, Fennec was sitting in the same pub, watching you. She took a sip of the beer she had been nursing for the last thirty minutes since you walked in.

“I’m just glad she’s got her boots on,” she mumbled to Boba.

“Would you just go talk to her? You haven’t stopped staring or shut up about her since she walked in.” He was nothing if not an effective wingman.

“I don’t know, will she think I’m following her? She’s some new in town lawyer type that probably doesn’t go for that.”

“Shand, if you don’t go make a move, I’m going to go point you out to her myself.” Boba had done it before.

“Fine, fine.” She scooched out of the booth, leather jacket squeaking against the vinyl as she got up. She tugged at the sleeves as she sidled up to the opposite end from where you were.

“Another one, Fennec?”

“No, I want to buy her next round.” She nodded in your direction, wondering what it would be.

“Sure thing.” The bartender side stepped away out of Fennec’s line of sight and filled a glass with ice and club soda. He finished it with a slice of lime before setting it down in front of you.

“What’s this?” You looked up with your brow wrinkled.

“Lady with the braid over there wanted to buy your next round but I remembered what you told me last time someone wanted to do that.”

“Oh, thanks.” You looked in her direction, meeting her gaze. You gave a small wave to thank her and she disappeared into the growing crowd. You went back to your drink and finished the whiskey off. You felt a familiar hand on your midback as she sat on the stool next to yours.

“Good to see you’ve got appropriate footwear on.” There was her smirk again.

“Well, they just go so much better with a suit and slush,” you quipped at her. “I don’t make it a habit of falling into the arms of strangers, you know.”

“Oh, I’m sure, I’m just glad they were mine.” Your eyes widened ever so slightly. “And I’m also glad you accepted…whatever the hell that is. I’m Fennec by the way.”

“Inside joke with the bartender.” You winked at her before giving her your name.

“How have you been in town long enough to have inside jokes with Karga?”

“I’ve lived here two and a half years, that’s plenty of time, don’t you think?” It was her turn to wrinkle her brow. “What, didn’t think I knew what winter was or something?”

“I—I don’t know. I thought—two and a half years and you didn’t know the steps ice over?”

“First time going in the winter, usually I give my depositions in a conference room in the office building around the corner from the courthouse.”

“Dep—you’re not a lawyer?” You pressed your lips together as you suppressed a laugh. “From how you walked away from me I thought you were about to put away a murderer or something.”

“No, I’m a pediatrician. I work with CPS and do advocacy work for my kiddos in bad situations. This was the first time a judge actually wanted me to read my note into the record at a hearing, something about they wanted to make a decision today and didn’t want to wait on me.”

“Wait, you were there for Seb?” She set her hand on your forearm. “How did I not know? BACA is supposed to know all the people coming in for a case.”

“Not sure.” You took a sip of the club soda. “I didn’t even know I was going to be there until three days ago when I got a call.”

“Huh. Well, I have to say I’m glad you were there, even though the circumstances weren’t ideal.” Her thigh bumped yours and her hand came up to brush your hair out of your face. “And while I don’t think you should wear those shoes outside again, I’m happy I was there to catch you.”

“Me too.” You let out a small huff of laughter. “BACA head, yeah?”

“Yeah, just appointed a few months ago after the last guy retired.”

“I like women in powerful roles.” You held her gaze and you let your knee bump hers this time.

“Bye, Shand. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Fennec could hear Boba laughing as he strode out of the pub after clapping her on the shoulder. Wingman indeed, you were looking at your drink again.

“Hey, don’t mind him. He can be a dick sometimes, but he means well.” She rested a hand on your shoulder as you turned to face her fully. You tilted your head and you held eye contact for a moment.

“It’s okay, we’ve all got those friends, mine just happen to be working tonight.” You chanced a glance at your watch. “Which, I actually need to leave soon. I have to be at the hospital early in the morning to round or the residents will have my head. I would go tonight, but the whiskey and the afternoon in court make that a no go.”

Fennec rested a hand on your knee while she reached for a napkin and the pen you had signed the bill with. She scribbled something and folded it before tucking it into the pocket on your suit jacket.

“Text me when you get home.” She slid off the stool and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “See you around, Doc.”

[atamascolily]

Extremely subjective opinions about Star Wars planets

Inspired by @carmarthenfan. I did my top ten faves, and then gave up trying to put these in order, so they're literally in the order they occurred to me.

(This is not conclusive; I left a bunch out. There are a lot of Star Wars planets, y’all.)

1. Tatooine.

Iconic. Terrible place to live. Great place for making your characters suffer. Who cares that the ecology makes no sense when you have wide open spaces, exposed rock layers and salt flats, and a rockin' aesthetic? Not to mention wretched hives of scum and villainy and also, like, ACTUAL DRAGONS.

(Thesis: literally half of what makes ANH so compelling is that it's set on Tatooine.)

2. Yavin IV (Legends)

AKA Jedi Jungle Friendship Camp or Space Guatemala. If I was going to live anywhere in the GFFA, it'd be here. Temple ruins (even if they are infested with Sith ghosts), hot springs, rainforests, biodiversity, awesome eclipses and a giant blood-red gas giant constantly overhead, not much in the way of development... what's not to like? (Okay, the Sith ghosts are a problem, but they got rid of those eventually.)

3. "Forest moon" of Endor, ROTJ

Redwood forests are awesome. I'd totally live in an Ewok treehouse. They're the only place in the galaxy with handrails!!

4. Coruscant

I'd probably hate to live there, but it's a great setting for fic. A surprisingly large amount of wildlife and plant life, despite the rampant development. Epic architecture, lots of culture, Luke has a cool retreat in the Manarai Mountains and Han and Kyp go skiing at the poles. Home of "the room where it happens".  

(most of my fics to date are set on Tatooine, Yavin or Coruscant, lol)

5. Alderaan

Too bad the Empire blew it up. :( IDK about the whole Killik business, but Space Switzerland seems great, and I'd live there in a heartbeat. An actual multi-biome world, wow! I should write more fics about this place.

6. Myrkr (Legends)

Jungle planet with metallic trees and furry, Force-repelling lizards. Also giant vornskrs that use the Force to hunt. Don't forget Talon Karrde's awesome tree base!

7. Dagobah

I love this place, even if living there would be a challenge. Actually kinda has a functioning ecology in canon. Love the sheer abundance of snakes, plus dragonsnakes and the mangrove-like gnarltrees, which are the adult form of giant white spiders (I love plant-animal weirdness like this).

8. Mulako Comet (Legends)

Not technically a planet, but how can you not love a resort carved out of a giant frozen comet HOW. 10/10, we stan. The perfect place for a romantic getaway, especially if you are a water nerd like Luke.

9. Vjun (Legends)

The Gothiest goth place ever to Goth. Has names like "River Weeping" and carnivorous moss that nibbles on Obi-wan. <3. Vader's Goth castle was originally here before the writers moved it to Mustafar.

10. Honoghr (Legends)

Another terrible place to live, thanks to the Empire's sabotage, but I love there's actually an attempt at an ecological plot line here (Timothy Zahn is surprisingly good at those). A single biome world, but for a legit (and sad) reason. I should write some fics about this place.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Corellia (Legends) - It's okay, I guess? I'm not sure how I feel about the Corellian trilogy in general, but there are some things with the Selonians and the Drall that could be interesting for fic? Also, Treasure Ship Row is cool.  

Kessel (Legends) - Hell-realm. Not sure if Kevin J. Anderson's "glitterstim" is the same as "spice," but Han and Kyp have to fight off giant spiders in the dark underground mine, which is certainly dramatic. Had a moon until a prototype Death Star blew it up.

Ithor (Legends) - JUNGLE PLANET POPULATED BY BOTANY NERDS, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. But they won't let you actually explore the surface, because it's sacrilege. :(

Belsavis (Legends) - Hoth on the surface, Yavin in the rift valleys (but with, like, plantations), plus underground tunnels full of monsters and Jedi artifacts. Home of a secret Jedi botany master and his plant friends, so I'm in favor.

Chad (Legends) - Mostly ocean planet--I guess Space Earthsea, but with more geological activity? Callista makes it sound dreamy and idyllic in her flashbacks, but all the native Chadra-Fan are trying to GTFO, so I dunno.

Nam Chorios (Legends) -Like Tatooine, I would probably hate living there, but it's a great setting for a fic. The perpetual twilight would get old fast, but I love the terraformed ecology, the sentient rocks and the Force storms. Drochs are super creepy, though.

Hijarna (Legends) - There are ruins and sweeping vistas. What can I say, Karrde knows how to pick a secret base. :)

Dathomir (Legends) - Rancors have to be native to somewhere, so why not Dathomir? Courtship of Princess Leia is hokey and weird as all get-out, but it did give us Teneniel Djo, and I love her.

Hapes (Legends) -100% better at you than everything, and they know it. Leave them to it.

Yavin 8 (Legends) - Giant snakes and giant eagles... who literally eat children. Kinda weird being in a place where humanoids are on the bottom of the food chain. Love the Melodies' amphibious lifestyle, though.

Wayland (Legends) - Endor with the serial numbers filed off. Still love it, though. And Palpatine built a lair in a giant mountain! Props to him.

Ryloth (Legends) - sounds like an actual hell realm, but a desert planet? One half in perpetual sun, one half in perpetual darkness, and only a very narrow habitable zone? I’m game.

Msst (Legends) - Terrible, if accurate, name. All we ever see is the eponymous mist, plus giant pink creatures that numb you with poison and devour you alive.  Brakiss's home planet. No wonder he hates everything. On the plus side, his mom got to see Luke Skywalker naked, so good for her.

Kashyyyk - TREE WORLD, WE GO HARD (part II). Except I don't think the Wookiees have handrails, do they?

Hoth - Ice, ice, baby. Ecology makes no sense; it's a fucking glacier. I would hate living there, but I've read so many fluff fics about snowfall fights and sex in X-wings and supply closets that I feel a kind of fondness for it.

Byss (Legends) - Dark. Hidden. Secret. Goth as fuck. I like it. Exegol, but with more class.

Ahch-To - Skellig Michael is great, but too recognizable as itself to really be a good stand-in for somewhere else. Puffins are better than porgs. Great place to hide, but I stand by my claims that the Jedi order could not have arisen there. Love the aesthetic. The Caretakers deserved way better!  

Naboo - Space Italy. Would definitely live there. Closest thing we see to Dinotopia in the GFFA. (Tell me Theed isn't Waterfall City!)

Kef Bir - why not just let the original forest moon have multiple biomes? It's okay to have multiple-biome worlds, I promise, we wont get confused. Epic sweeping grasslands, steep cliffs, massive waves. I love what little we see of it.

Crait - you're going to film a Star War on the Bolivian salt flats and NOT make an epic dream sequence with the night sky reflected on the salt?? What. Hoth with red dust. Crystal foxes look like Vulpix from Pokemon, and I like them.

Ilum - cool ice planet gets turned into planet-destroying superweapon and blown up. Not a fan.

Bespin - I don't know about the ecology, but 10/10 for aesthetics.

Nal Hutta / Nar Shaddaa - Ecological disaster. Gross and full of Hutts.

Niraun (Legends) - I don't like caves and that's pretty much all we see. Especially if those caves are filled with carnivorous hordes of Space Army Ants.

Gamorr (Legends) - "Procedures programs for visiting Gamorr consist of a single line: DO NOT VISIT GAMORR. Really!” Especially do not visit in the season known as "slushtime".

Af'El (Legends) - I know very little about it, but it seems cool? "The Dark World". Home planet of the "wraiths" (Defel) and the homunculus wasps.  

Kijimi - "Disneyworld with space facism". Swirling snow and stone looks cool at night. Too bad that fight scene was such a mess. 

Takodana - it's the English Lake District, I'm never going to be able to suspend my disbelief to believe it's anything else.

D'Qar / Ajan Kloss - Yavin IV knockoffs. If you want me to care, you're gonna have to give me something better.

Exegol -  this “planet” is just a CGI soundstage with a floating pyramid/arena whatever, and lightning. Weather instantly improved when Palpatine died, which strongly suggested he liked it that way. Knockoff Byss.

Mustafar - Literal hell-realm. Lava does not work like that. And apparently, ROTS insists it also has snow and trees, which seems like a little too late.

Canto Bight - you'd think people with that much money would have a better-looking planet. ughhhh.

[summerspn]

Batwoman

2019 series > Ep 1-3

*sigh*

Okay here goes...I’m going to break it down for you:

The trailers & ads:

I was skeptical about watching this show as all the trailers for it were terrible.

As a woman I can honestly say each and every trailer made me cringe & go ‘stop!’. They were SO bad.

But, that’s not the actors’ fault. They’re given lines they have to deliver on & Ruby Rose seemed to deliver on those decently enough I suppose.

In the trailers, my biggest issue was the terrible dialogue & poor makeup/wardrobe.

The campy style Batwoman costume & the sloppy bat tattoos...ugh! Why would anyone think that would be appealing?!

Now, onto the show...

There is one & ONLY one reason I watched this show...my mom! I figured I had to give it a shot. But it was not because my mom like it. She in fact, hated it!

My mom, who loves everything from medical & criminal dramas, to shows about witchcraft & medieval times. She somehow even loves campy movies like Dark Shadows. She’s a huge fan of Wonder Woman (comics, tv show & recent movie). She loved the Captain Marvel movie. She is a comic fan and loved Batman & Batwoman growing up.

Yet, she hates this show!

After seeing videos & online posts ALL saying it’s because non fans hate the show because they’re bigots, that’s not true.

The show is awful - so I suppose the trailers were accurate.

My mother could care less what people do for their own pleasure- and like she taught us, “as long as no one’s being hurt & it’s consensual, who cares?”

So right now, just to paint you a picture, neither her nor I care about the lesbian storyline in Batwoman. I don’t care if she’s gay straight, bi, attracted to pumpkins etc. Have at it.

The reason I chose to watch this show is because my mother loves fun well written entertainment & sometimes just silly fluff to get her mind off reality. And as my best friend we have that in common. Our viewing tastes are very similar. So when my mom says something was terrible, it piques my interest (much more than those awful trailers).

The actors:

Most of the actors aren’t bad. Since Dougray Scott is in this I take it as a comparison amongst the others. If you don’t know who he is ...he was in Ever After, Desperate Housewives, Fear the Walking Dead, Hemlock Grove and a thousand other projects. He’s a good actor. However, in Batwoman he has a few mistakes with his accent & delivery of a few lines (much fewer mistakes than the rest of the cast).

But all the actors have mis-steps with their lines & delivery of the lines. Whose job is it to stop them & try again until it’s good? The director

Some actors aren’t as strong as others but after watching the show, I think the strongest actors are: Dougray Scott, Nicole Kang, & Rachel Skarsten. They seem to work with what they’ve got. Trying their best. But the dialogue!

There was a line about Kate Kane having mixed feelings for her sister & didn’t want her hurt because “Duh, feelings”. .... 🙄...she’s a medical student?? The writers gave the actor THAT to work with? Okay...um, they couldn’t have done a second draft and tweaked it? You didn’t find it needed a little more work? Like wrote this instead “it’s only natural to be conflicted...” which makes her sound intelligent. Instead, “Duh, feelings”?!

Unfortunately we come down to Ruby Rose. She’s not a good actress. She seemed to be more talented in the trailers than the actual show but that was because she showed something I like to call emotion.

What happened? Every single line RR delivers has zero affect. Even when she’s literally smiling there is no emotion in her eyes....what only makes her look psychotic. And she moves her eyebrows up & down sooooo much. It’s distracting.

However, she (like the other actors) does seem to be trying. With that said, if you can’t be pulled into the character or the actors’ take on them then it suspends disbelief.

I have nothing against Ruby Rose but knowing she was a model gives context. They work with their eyebrows a lot & any acting they do is for about 20 seconds of a commercial. It’s clear that RR is tackling the tv show like she would a modeling job. Only now she has a s****y wardrobe.

However, she can’t act. She is monotonous & sounds robotic.

I do think though that’s made worse by the director probably not pushing to do enough takes. Sometimes directors instruct actors to act a certain way which makes them sound worse.

Ie) Hayden Christensen acted beautifully in an old tv show where he played a victim of molestation. In Star Wars a Phantom Menace he was apparently told to act more annoyed then angry so voila he came across as a brat...

So I do wonder what influence the director had here.

The wardrobe/makeup:

Papa Kane, Leaders of the Crows, my man Dougray...yes he still looks good in his suits but he’s always shown wearing the same suit. Wardrobe actually helps tell a story especially in a show like this. But it’s like the budget is too small or the director forgot about anyone other than Kate & Beth.

Morning scenes, have him with a little extra stubble, some make up to look like he has dark circles under his eyes. Ruffle his hair. Have him sitting in a hideous vintage t-shirt while they have breakfast. Kate could see how awful he looks and ask “did you get any sleep?” Then they could talk about how worried he is for the city, Kate, or even thinking about Beth! Kate could see the shirt & go “didn’t I get you that?” And he says “yeah for my birthday” and she says “that was ten years ago”.Boom! Shows he loves his daughter & a tiny bonding moment. ...but this never happened.

Luke Fox. Somehow they took an attractive actor and made him look about 20 years older just by wearing glasses that belong to Angela from Who’s the Boss!

Give Luke some 2019 glasses that sit properly on his nose! And the same for the rest of his clothes. They don’t fit right. The show is trying to nerd him up but you can make people awkward, nerdy , or quirky without downplaying their looks. Have Fox wear jeans with his vests, or a fun t-shirt with a suit jacket etc.

Kate Kane. She has the worst wardrobe in the show! Though Batwoman’s suit looks tacky & campy...

Give Kate nicer clothes! They do not need to be expensive but they do need to give her a personality.

1) Plaid...why? Lesbians wearing plaid is a stereotype so WHY would this show advertising itself as modern & breaking the barriers have their main character wearing something so cliche? Makes zero sense. However, since plaid (aka tartan) is making a comeback in fashion they could have used it (if they really had to) in another piece of clothing. A scarf, gloves, shoes? (I actually have a pair of red plaid boots which are durable and adorable). Throwing on a plaid shirt is just lazy.

2) Her hair. Okay so if they’re going for the short-during-military-training look I get it but Ruby Rose has the same hairstyle in everything. I wish she’d just either grow it out or chop it all off. They could have had a scene where she’s fiddling with it in the mirror like she’s self conscious about the new do...showing human insecurities.

3) The leather jacket. Sigh... okay this is my personal opinion but I think the black leather jacket in shows is used too much. It immediately signals strength & a tough exterior right? Well literally everyone knows this. It’s not subtle. I mean I love how it was used on Supernatural where the coat had a history but it was tied into a backstory and eventually was used less and less. But the leather coat was used more in early seasons (which was as far as 15 yrs ago). Other shows always have the ‘bad boy’ wear the jacket. It’s so boring. I’d rather if Kate strolled you wearing a fun typographic shirt or a basic t-shirt and have an expensive belt because she has a thing for belts (subtly nodding to one Batwoman has to use).

There were many choices other than a basic plaid top and black leather jacket. Wardrobe decisions that could give the character/actor subtle layers or tools to work with. But that too was done lazily.

Set design:

Dark & gloomy? ✅

Isolated & abandoned feeling? ✅

Appropriate to the corresponding event... 🙈 not so much.

Ie) the bridge where the family’s car fell off. Whether it’s done with cgi or finding the right location, the bridge in question was generic. Now if the bridge was higher up and/or there were super super wild & crazy rapids maybe, just maybe we’d believe Batman thought Beth was a goner. But it was actual fairly tame so it made Batman look like he just saw the car hanging and go “hey my shift ended an hour ago” and walk off.

And,

The “secret” entrance to the bat cave is in Wayne enterprises? Wouldn’t that be hard to get to? I can picture Bruce hanging around in the garage waiting to go in...he starts over to the door, someone comes, he stops...ya know because everyone knows him...

It’s just weird. There were so many other options.

Special effects:

Some have been pretty bad so far. This is a CW trait. I don’t know if they separate the budget for the directors or not. Is it all one lump number or are they told ‘this is for the production & this is for the special effects?’. I wonder because other CW shows seem to have tiny budgets allocated to the effects. In any case, a show about super villains & heroes needs bigger budgets so it looks more believeable.

The writing:

The writing is just bad. Writing lines like “duh sisters” for a character who is supposed to be educated & intelligent seems ridiculous.

Question - if Bruce Wayne has family why didn’t he stay with them when his parents died? Or they with him? Is this a plot hole from the comics or just this show?

Unrealistic. Yes it’s a superhero story but we care less if the person has all their skills & abilities immediately.

My bff and I love superhero shows but we both had the same problems here as with Supergirl. She just had her powers & didn’t really struggle with them. I watched 2 episodes & was bored already.

Batwoman was so boring but I wanted to see if it got better. It hasn’t.

This show needed to spend episode 1 where she’s discovering how bad Gotham was without Batman & where he went. Is he doing a really long pub crawl? Saving people in another country/city? Dead? Kate shows zero concern for her missing cousin & for some reason, hates him.

Kate immediately knowing how to use the bat equipment with zero practices...how at the beginning she’s swimming in ice water for no reason and doesn’t get hypothermia?? That’s all very unbelievable.

Kate is written as Mary Sue. She knows all & has the most skills in the world! Why??? Okay so she was in the military so yeah give her a backstory of taking taekwondo classes or something but for her to know how to do Luke Fox’s job better than he does? Or where the cameras are at Wayne Enterprises...more than the security team?? And to know what the computer password is, okay... basically she has to be great at everything & the other characters have to be written dumb in order for Kate to be appealing. Why?

Bashing Batman...in a show based in the bat-universe. Terrible move. Kate doing this repeatedly makes us think she’s a villain. Not a hero.

Bashing everyone with male genitalia...makes Kate look like a pr*ck. You can hate certain men you’ve known but to constantly reference women as being superior to men...

1) negates equal rights. You can’t be equals if you act/think/say you’re superior.

2) any boys watching this show is going to feel like something is wrong with them.

3) it’s sexist.

Just like many of us women grew up hearing repeatedly that men were better at this & that...

4) male bashing IS spreading hate. STOP.

That is actually why (more than anything) I didn’t want to watch in the first place because of how the trailers made it sound like they were bashing a whole gender.

Too much too soon. Revealing Alice is Beth in the first episode? Why? Drag it out an episode or 2. Each episode is both boring and yet they try to cram everything into a single episode it’s bizarre.

Ridiculous scenarios. Like Batman would leave a child to drown. And why didn’t Beth/Alice just go home or contact the police...or anyone...when she got out of the water all those years ago? Why does Kate keep letting her sister go when the woman is a multi-murderer?!

Yes, Kate is still hung up on her ex but it was years ago & she was the one dumped. And Sophie is married so Kate is coming off like a stalker 👀

All of it makes Kate look unsympathetic & unlikeable. The show isn’t funny except when we hear bad dialogue. It’s trying to be overly dramatic like a soap opera but it still doesn’t work. I think that’s due to the writing & the directing.

Now don’t get me wrong, even with RR’s lack of acting skills there are ways of making it work...that weren’t done.

Keanu’s Reeves isn’t the most skillful actor but he tries. He’s good at certain things & sticks to it. He knows where his skills are. Yes he’s improved but he’ll never be able to pull off an intense dramatic role. So he sticks to what he’s good at. He’s also a good person & tries to talk openly & intelligently about things so he has people’s respect IRL.

Ruby Rose has been touchy & volatile about people criticizing Batwoman. That made me lose what little respect I had for her.

Awhile back I had tried watching this design show (yes I like those too) Love it Or List It Vancouver. The show was fine but the designer Jillian was being critiqued left right & Center on social media after the pilot episode for sounding like a child. She used phrases such as; “totally”,”for sure” , and used the word ‘like’ a thousand times... she really did sound like a valley girl. However, about 5 episodes later that was gone. She was speaking more eloquently and more grown up - which in turn made people like her more. She & the show worked to help improve her speech patterns so it wouldn’t be distracting. And the show has been around for years now.

My point? RR could have taken the criticism & worked with it. I get she’s probably upset as she worked hard but we all go through it. We all have a project of some kind at work that falls flat. We take the criticism & try to improve. RR could take acting lessons or at the very least, practice in the mirror.

Most of the other issues I’ve mentioned are a result of the awful writing, poor direction & likely some interference from the network.

What this show should never have done was act superior. That’s being a douche. Anytime I see or hear someone being arrogant like that I just roll my eyes and walk away (or in this case, turn the channel).

If anyone working for the CW and/or Batwoman reads this I hope you’ll take some pointers.

I like myself too much though to subject myself to anymore episodes though. I’m done. ✌️

[tearlessrain]

okay are y’all ready for Spirit: Riding Free? because I am probably not

the opening theme is a catchy but generic country-ish pop song. not terrible. the animation is ugly af but still better than alpha and omega

wait wait wait hold the fuck up. so remember that part of the original spirit where the horse literally explodes an entire steam engine through the sheer force of his righteous anger to stop the humans from building a railroad?

FEELS LIKE A PRETTY HOLLOW VICTORY NOW THANKS WRITERS

every single one of them is rendered in a different art style and the one on the upper right looks like a mii. why is the lower right one two dimensional.

um. why is her dad like. an uncomfortably beautiful man.

seriously look at this

this is a man who meticulously maintains his eyebrows that doesn’t happen by accident he looks like an elven lord wearing a fake mustache

oh wait it’s her uncle that explains why she looks nothing like him

her name is Lucky? okay why not.

here come the wild horses oh booooy this is so much less climactic than the opening scene of spirit I feel like they should be playing the theme from the movie on a single kazoo in the background

I’m unduly bothered that not-spirit is joyfully racing with the train that his father(?) so vehemently tried to stop from existing, this seems slightly tone deaf

of course she already has a special ~connection~ with not-spirit, I can see how this is gonna go

oh they...they caught him. that was quick. OKAY kids wrap it up show’s over

okay look, I’m just gonna get this off my chest now because I feel like it’s gonna come up a lot in this show. mustangs are an invasive species. like they’re pretty yeah but they also screw up the ecosystem and there’s a dang good reason the BLM doesn’t let too many of them run loose at once. if it weren’t for people going “but wild west nostalgia something something american freedom symbol” there probably would be a lot fewer feral horses and that would not be a bad thing. and also they’re not wild horses. they’re feral domesticated horses. przewalski’s horses are wild. mustangs are like stray cat colonies that eat a shitton of native foliage instead of endangered birds. I love the concept of majestic horse herds roaming freely as much as the next guy and I’m definitely not saying shoot them all or something (mustang adoptions are great) but they’re still bad for the environment and the people who round them up really aren’t the bad guys here. I’m sure the horse wranglers will end up being cartoonish villains but her uncle is completely right.

on the other hand I love how everyone looked at this invasive foreign species that multiplies too fast and starves out the native ones and went “yep that’s the most american thing there is”

okay I’m done I’m ready to suspend my environmental salt for the purpose of a horse show for children now but it had to be said. invasive species.

they’re arrived at the sims 3 map they’re moving to

not-spirit is trying awfully hard to break free of those ropes but judging by the quality with which this show is rendered I’m pretty sure he could clip through them if he just finds the right combination of bucks and rears

ah of course we now have the obligatory Snooty Girl to go along with Posh Aunt, Adventure Uncle, Primary Horse Girl, and Problem Horse. this sure is a horse show all right.

I’ll be honest though, the writing isn’t awful

wait he IS her dad. okay now it’s even more of a horse show. gotta have that father-daughter bonding moment over a dead mother in there somewhere.

they have a surprisingly healthy and genuine relationship

I already hate Posh Aunt though her character archetype annoys me

so I’m glad the horses don’t talk and they kept that consistent but why does not-spirit understand english so perfectly?

and why did he just eat her ham sandwich this horse is a carnivore

maybe mustangs DO eat endangered birds

I knew a pony once who acted like he really wanted to be a carnivore his name was rocco and he was an adorable asshole who bit at least three people the one time I rode him. I mean bad training obviously but damn he was cute.

okay I know this is stupidly nitpicky for the horse that eats ham sandwiches and understands english but it bothers me that they designed him as if the dark nose is a marking that goes over the blaze. that’s not how white markings work, or how horse noses work, there should be some pink skin where the blaze runs into the nose or it should end before the nose. pick one.

that horse looks exactly like spirit’s mom from the movie. that’s... an odd choice.

I have just come to the terrible realization that I’m watching the Old West Saddle Club. token black girl and snobby nemesis included. god help me.

why is the horse named boomerang did they even have boomerangs in the old west

okay I literally paused to google this and apparently boomerangs didn’t originate in australia and appeared in a lot of ancient cultures from all over the world, and the navajo used something similar but the actual term boomerang appearing in the old west is still highly suspect

they forgot to move the reins they’re still dragging in front of the horse

beautiful

this is the pilot episode. the first impression they choose to make to the viewers.

yes most of their viewers are probably ten years old but that’s no excuse.

oh well if they’d just TALKED to the horse it would’ve let them ride, obviously, why didn’t they think of that

seriously why didn’t they, the horses in this universe very obviously understand complex sentences in english, I don’t see how this would be a secret

we have limited time and some people might die and we’re the only ones who can prevent it. TIME FOR A GALLOPY JOYRIDE IN A RANDOM DIRECTION.

okay know what that was impressive. they just did this shot where her hair tie fell off and the braid came loose and let me tell you they don’t have much to work with here with these models, but they did it. they used some timely zooming and strategic lens flair and they did it almost seamlessly. I’m not even being sarcastic here I’m proud of them for how they did that.

I think genuine effort is going into this show you guys

most untrained feral horses with no tack and a beyond green rider would run away from a giant explosion, but fortunately all she has to do with felaróf here is explain the situation and he’ll charge right into the exploding narrow space

GAAAH WHY WOULD YOU MOUNT A HORSE LIKE THAT

FIRST OF ALL NEVER BACK UP DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF A HORSE ESPECIALLY WHEN THINGS ARE EXPLODING

SECOND OF ALL THEY CAN’T THROW A FULL SIZE CHILD IN THE AIR WITH THEIR NOSE THAT’S NOT HOW know what fine why not this is fine its name is fucking boomerang it can do whatever it wants

well the saddle club is trapped in the exploding canyon I wonder if they will escape

the suspense

COOL HORSES DON’T LOOK AT EXPLOSIONS

I feel like the people who animated this are like... they’re genuinely trying. like the creative way to circumvent the model limitations with the hair thing, the overall way the shots are set up... I respect them in spite of the blatant mistake with the reins earlier and the overall visually mediocre end result. it’s really not their fault and I respect what they managed to do with the resources they had.

it’s not their fault the modelling team spent most of the budget on adventure dad’s eyebrows

whoa the guy who tried to ride not-spirit earlier is not-carol’s dad what a twist. I guess I should have seen it coming it’s not like there would be two unrelated black people in one town that would just be crazy

on the other hand I’m really glad that the horse wranglers are apparently not villains, way to go writers you’ve kind of written these people more realistically than the original movie

but come on we all know that colonel was just completely insane, most of his men were probably otherwise reasonable people following bad and frankly weird orders because they were afraid of being tied to that post. like what was his thing with The Post. that’s a terrible catch-all solution for the majority of problems he is likely to have but I bet he tries to solve all of them with it. “sir this canon is broken” “tie it to the post, no food or water” “but sir” “THE POST”

“he’s unbreakable” you spent maybe five minutes slapping a saddle on him and yanking his reins, clinton anderson, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to train him

oh right my mistake she’s just ~a natural~

oh no you are not about to name him spirit

you are

you did

it’s a good name for a horse I guess but most disney sequels at least don’t give the kid the exact same name as their dad in addition to looking almost identical

aw she’s letting horse-curufinwe go free

oh okay horse-curufinwe came back

(really though? with a little wiggle room granted for metaphor the original spirit’s full name could actually be translated to feanor. though I'm pretty sure fearanyo would be more accurate technically. I’m sorry this is going wildly off the rails. much like that train fearanyo exploded which his son clearly does not appreciate.)

he sure got over missing his herd quick I guess so much for original spirit’s legacy and freedom and shiz

and don’t talk to me about my BLM rant I said I’m suspending disbelief, things are different in the spirit-verse

and of course she doesn’t ride horse-curufinwe with tack because he’s freeee and it’s impossible to ride badly or hurt the horse without a bridle that automatically equals good horsemanship *coughclintonandersoncough*

well, that was a fairly predictable and aesthetically meh but not alltogether unpleasant experience. not exactly riveting but I would feel okay about letting a child watch this, especially one young enough to not have seen these tropes a few hundred times yet because they’d probably enjoy it. I feel like this series actually has potential if the writers/animators take it. even if they don’t it’s still better and more intelligent than alpha and omega.

[recordingtheyear]

Finding God in the Waves - Mike McHargue

 This was the perfect book for me to have read when I did. It fits perfectly with where my thoughts and questions are. I felt so many parallels between me and Mike. I love the feeling of being known and that is what this book felt like. I like too that Mike does not end up with a new clear theology. He is not peddling a fix – it’s not replacing Baptist Fundamentalism with another denomination, but landing in a place of uncertainty and happy exploration. As much as part of me wants to land somewhere secure and certain, I have a really hard time engaging with books or podcasts that are coming from a place of having it all figured out.

These were my thoughts while I was reading:

-          I don’t know that my doubt was initiated by scriptural inaccuracies like Mike. I think it began by seeing good worldly things that didn’t match up with what I’d been taught; like Kendra teaching me about gay rights– good morals can come from outside the Bible. But more so, I think it came from a general feeling – in the gut more than the brain. Feelings that had not quite been refined into real argumentative challenges to the Bible, but that led me to lose interest in the faithful practices I had.

-          “Stratton and I saw the Bible differently. I believed the Bible was inspired and inerrant, which is Baptist-ese for saying that God wrote the Bible, and, therefore, it is perfect. In this way of thinking, the Bible is accurate in whatever it talks about, including science and history… That’s not how Stratton saw the Bible. He said the important thing about the Bible was its stories and the way they revealed the nature of God and how He relates to people. Stratton told me that the Bible’s narrative was the important part and that trying to describe God as a logical system was a flawed approach. God, after all, is beyond any system of human thought.” I think that maybe a while ago, as a child, I thought like Mike did. But with doubts, I adopted A Stratton perspective. And I am comfortable there and have been defending that as my own – suspending my disbelief comfortably there. And now I am questioning that too. But I can see myself returning to it.

-          I think I’m hoping I can read his account and then jump spiritually to wherever he’s at now. But I think I’ll have to actually do some of the work and thinking and feeling myself.

-          “Belief in things unseen is one thing; belief in things without evidence is another. And this latter kind of belief has a problem: How do you know what to believe? If God reveals Himself to us, but we have no empirical way of verifying that revelation, how do we know if that revelation is correct? Catholic, Protestants, Jews, and Muslims all claim that God was revealed Himself to them in different ways. Most people believe in the revelation that is most established in their family or community. But imagine for a moment that you didn’t know anything about God. How would you choose among all the various world religions?” This is one of the theological questions I know I’ve had since childhood – though not put as articulately. And it still rings true. Is one truer? If they all share truths, is it okay to choose Christianity as the one that is most meaningful to me? 

“To accept one person’s claim of revelation without evidence is to accept them all… Finding an understanding of God that was plausible in the face of skepticism was relatively easy, but doing the same for Jesus Christ was not. Jesus, a man who walked the earth in the first century dispensing radical teachings about God? Sure. But Jesus Christ, the reconciling member of God’s Trinity? No.”

-          “Believers have a rich neurological network that encapsulates God through feelings and experiences that are difficult to articulate with mere language… Because I had prayed every day for most of my life, the roots of God in my brain were deep – my neurological faith network developed with years of practice. The problem was, that network wasn’t keeping up with the new model of reality that my brain was building… I spent so much time analyzing God that I didn’t have time to experience Him. Over time, this caused the feelings I had about God to fade. God was becoming nothing more than an abstract idea, and one that could easily be torn away by the thinkers’ books I was consuming. The process of losing God took months of reconditioning, but when the loss finally hit me, it felt like a heart attack: sudden and violent.” (P. 61). This helps explain why I don’t feel the same personal relationship with God the way I used to. My brain is out of practice. It’s such an accurate description – when I think about God, my brain doesn’t feel like it’s firing in the same old way. It doesn’t fire up much at all. And that hurts.

It does raise a chicken and the egg conundrum. Did I stop believing in god and then slowly those neurons dulled? Or did I stop developing those practices and the dull neurons gave rise to the idea that God was not what I had once thought? Could all this have been avoided if I prayed more? Can it be reversed if I pray more? Would I want that?

-          “Tears came first. Many Christians believe that people become atheists because they’re angry at God. My experience didn’t involve anger at all. I felt grief – a gnawing sense of loss. I felt empty and alone. God hadn’t been some controlling sky king to me. God had been the embodiment of love, who cared for humanity with unknowable deity – and, by extensions, cared for me as well. God had been my hope. God was the magnet that moved my moral compass. He was my Redeemer and my friend. I probably talked to God more than I talked to anyone else. After all, God was always there. When I learned God wasn’t real, it was like hearing that a dear friend had died unexpectedly. I smashed into this insight like a skydiver whose parachute refused to open.” This rings very true. Consistently I have felt that I really love Christianity and the Christian God and Jesus, but it doesn’t feel true in the same way and there are a lot of holes I need to reconcile with if I am going to carry on following.

-          “But in the search for meaning that followed my loss of faith, I discovered humanism to be a beautiful movement. Humanists see value in humanity; they see our species as full of potential and goodness. They seek solutions to life’s problems of suffering and need, concerned only with improving the conditions of human life. Humanism helped me salvage bits and pieces of my faith, such as those parts of the Bible that emphasized taking care of the weak and needy. Humanism made me feel more comfortable pretending to be a Christian on Sundays. Although humanists seek to solve problems through rational thought instead of religion, it seemed rational to me that religion was a particularly powerful way to motivate religious people to do good in the world.” I like his outside the box labels: nontheistic, mystic follower of Jesus, secular humanist. It expands my ideas of what’s possible and makes abnormal beliefs feel safer.

-          I know the story is about the journey, but I would like to know the details too. When he talks about sparring with is mom and having a retort for all of her apologetics, I want to know those too.

-          “If feeling close to God or confronting doubt is important to you, prayer is going to be more effective than just about anything else you can do. Prayer might not help you solve the mystery of God rationally, but it may help you encounter God.”

-          I like that Mike describes critiques of Christianity, but without anger and with fairness. It feels like a validating and safe place to explore, and even concede, these ideas. I don’t want these ideas brushed over, but I do think I would be more hurt, flailing, dark, reading Dawkins et al. without having read this.

I love Mike’s axisoms and want to spend more time thinking about them. He says they helped him begin to practice Christianity again without  having to pretend or suspend disbelief. A jumping off point. I’ve often said I just want a binder and checklist of my beliefs once and for all. I think that’s ridiculous and maybe dangerous, but I think these are helpful and smart and good. 

http://mikemchargue.com/blog/2015/3/24/axioms-about-faith 

[cromulentbookreview]

Quarantini Time!

Or: Quarantine: a Love Story by Katie Cicatelli-Kuc!

Poor, anxious Oliver is just wrapping up a Spring Break volunteering trip in the Dominican Republic. He just wants to go home, attend a party and somehow work up the courage to ask a girl out. Flora just spent the past week on a disastrous visit to her dad and her airheaded stepmom. Flora and Oliver find themselves on the same flight home from Punta Cana to Miami, and from there, back to NYC. Because they both live in Brooklyn, obviously. 

Sidenote: a message to Brooklyn from the people of Portland - 

And now back to the book review.

Oliver, unfortunately, gets stuck to some guy who is visibly sick, aka every fliers worst nightmare. In an attempt to get away from the obvious disease vector, he moves one row back and sits right next to...you guessed it, Flora. Sparks fly - she calms him down while he has a panic attack on the flight, she thinks his eyes are like a cool breeze. He finds her refreshingly forthright and honest. 

Meanwhile, I’m sitting there reading all of this like:

There’s just one problem: the flight attendants take notice of obviously sick dude, whose backstory, name or anything like that we never learn. They call the CDC, because apparently there’s a new, fun, mutated form of infectious Mononucleosis. Gotta love that Epstein-Barr virus! But this isn’t your average mono, this is tropical mono. It’s tropical, which apparently, with diseases, makes it worse. Seriously, how come we always act like diseases from the tropics are somehow scarier or worse? There are plenty of diseases you can catch in the Northern Hemisphere that are super scary. Like the hantavirus. Or an infection with Naegleria fowleri. Also, you can catch leprosy from an armadillo. We’ve had cases of Plague here in Oregon, yet another reason why I rarely stray east of the Cascades (sorry Central, Eastern and Southern Oregon, but...come on, Plague) or visit the desert (sorry, Arizona and New Mexico, but, come on, look at that CDC map!). Anyway...I had a point here but I’ve lost it. Anyway: mutant mono. Scary stuff.

If you don’t know about mono, you’re in luck! I happen to have a thing for infectious diseases, which I may have mentioned here before. Infectious mononucleosis, sometimes but almost never called “glandular fever,” known by most as just “mono” is an infectious disease caused usually by the Epstein-Barr virus, but some can be caused by other viruses (like the human cytomegalovirus) though those are in the minority. The Epstein-Barr virus is a virus in the herpes family and is a kind-of cousin to my arch-nemesis, Varicella Zoster, the virus that causes chickenpox, and, if you’re me at 24, shingles. You can get shingles at any age, people! And it hurts! Jesus H. Christ, it hurts! It’s like having a white-hot cheese-grater just scraping off your skin at all times. If you think you have shingles, go and get treatment right away, don’t just go “oh, it’s just mosquito bites” and over a week while it feels like your skin is melting off your body...

Uhm. Get your shingles vaccine, that’s all I’m saying.

So anyway, Epstein-Barr. It can cause a ton of different conditions, including a whole bunch of cancers. Most people have had an Epstein-Barr infection at some point in their lives and probably just mistook it for a cold or the flu. But with mono, what happens is you get a fever, a very sore throat, you feel tired as all get out, your glands - especially the ones around your neck - swell up...you know. Mono. Sometimes there are complications to mono, including what is probably my favorite word in the English language but something that doesn’t sound pleasant at all: splenomegaly. That’s just when your spleen swells up. Hurray for the spleen!

Mono is primarily spread through saliva. Like, if you share a drinking glass or kiss. Fun fact: I never got mono as a teen because nobody ever wanted to kiss me or share their drinks. Or be that close to me. Or even hang out with me. Yay? Only in rare, rare cases can mono be spread through other bodily fluids, like blood or semen, so...there’s that.

And now, once again, back to the book review.

Once Flora and Oliver’s flight arrives in Miami, the plane is greeted by none other than the CDC. Yay! Frankly, if I were on a flight that was greeted on the runway by the CDC, I would geek out so hard. The CDC puts all the passengers on a 24-hour hold to see if any of them develop a fever. While they’re going through their final checks, Flora impulsively fakes a fever. She does this by taking the thermometer out of her mouth and then rubbing on it while the CDC worker isn’t looking which...you know what, suspend your disbelief for a while, OK? As soon as it becomes apparent that she has a fever and needs to go into a 30 day quarantine, Flora kisses Oliver. As one does. Now they’re both going to be stuck in quarantine for 30 days. They’re given a room together because...reasons. 

Once in quarantine, Oliver and Flora don’t have much to do other than just hang out with one another. Once Flora starts the hashtag #quaranteen on social media, though, she and Oliver become online famous. Suddenly Kelsey, the girl Oliver had been crushing on back in New York, has come down to Miami and is declaring herself to be Oliver’s girlfriend. Tension ensues! Will Oliver and Flora get sick? Will Oliver finally realize that Kelsey is the absolute worst? And will Flora and Oliver finally just get together goddamn it???

Quarantine: A Love Story is the wonderfully light and fluffy read that I needed in my life right now. The past two books I’ve read were both really sad and depressing - Internment especially takes on a whole new relevance now in light of recent events - so a happyfun YA romance about two teens in a weird situation that appeals to my weird love for infectious diseases was just what my brain called for at the moment. If you happen to know anything about medicine, though, er...don’t come in to this book hoping for a medically accurate depiction of quarantine. I happen to be one of those weirdos who has spent many, many years reading up on infectious diseases and quarantine/isolation treatment in hospitals. Why? Reasons. So there are a few times where I had to go aaaagh, they’re not called hazmat suits - HAZMAT is short for “hazardous materials” in medicine, you wear Personal Protective Equipment. PPE, people! Remember your PPE! Also, did you know the CDC has videos of the proper donning and doffing of PPE? Yup, they do. And it’s not like I haven’t watched all of those videos. I mean, I’m an adult, I have a life and a job and friends, I swear! I don’t spend a lot of my spare time reading about infectious diseases and proper treatments of infectious diseases...

Also, for some reason, in this fantasyland Quarantine, they let visitors take their phones into the room with them. And let the patients touch said phones. And they let their moms bring their purses in with them. Because...quarantine? I could put on my infectious disease nerd hat and go on and on and on about how that’s not how it works, but honestly, I don’t care. I didn’t come here for an accurate depiction of a hospital quarantine situation, if I wanted that, the CDC website is right there, waiting for me. I’m here for a cute YA love story about two teens in a weird situation. And to hate on that awful, selfie-obsessed bitch Kelsey. Yeah, we all know someone like Kelsey. She’s the worst.

But what I did love about this book was both its portrayal of anxiety, and the realistic depiction of how teens communicate. Plus, the romance is adorable. Team Floriver, bitches.

However, If you, like me, are super fond of learning about infectious diseases, go listen to This Podcast Will Kill You - it’s a fantastic podcast all about infectious diseases and probably one of my favorite podcasts, ever. (Go listen to their measles episode, it’s brilliant and sadly very, very timely, particularly for me, currently in the center of a full-scale epidemic caused entirely by stupidity).

In fact, if you’re wondering about the title of this review (if it can even be called a review, I haven’t really remained on topic for more than ten seconds) I shamelessly stole the Quarantini from This Podcast Will Kill You. The Quarantini belongs to the two Erins. A Placeborita is the non-alcoholic version of the drink, and since Quarantine: A Love Story is a YA novel, I figure I should make a Placeborita in its honor. 

So, behold! The Quaranteentini! 

Made out of the best non-alcoholic ingredients I could find in my kitchen while resisting the urge to add delicious, fruity vodka. (Hey, they are a local company, therefore I must drink it!)

The Quaranteentini:

Raspberry La Croix water

Lemon Juice

Grenadine

Lime Wedge

Garnish with gumdrops

Then add Huckleberry Vodka because I’m an adult. Best enjoyed with a general desire to forget the awfulness of the world and lose oneself in a cute teen romance.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Anybody in the mood for a book that is fun and happy and romantic.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Infectious disease nerds and medical professionals.

SERIOUS BOOK REVIEWER RATING: 3/5

YA ROMANCE FANGIRL RATING: 500,000,000/5

RELEASE DATE: March 26, 2019