#Nick kept him going after he lost Morgan but after losing Nick too?

[etre-grantaire]

god okay so I was thinking about Glenn Close last night (as I an wont to do) and the enormity of what he lost when he lost his trial just hit me. like he lost his son, and his entire history with his dead wife. and Glenn seems to me like the kind of guy who probably left all of Morgan’s stuff exactly where it was. her clothes still hanging in their closet, her perfumes and makeup scattered on the dresser, her mugs in the cupboard (which also leads into why he leaves Nick alone so often, he can’t stand to get rid of her things but he can’t be around them either so he just leaves), and now all of that is just gone. none of it ever existed. if he had lived and gone back to earth, he would have just gone back to an apartment that Morgan and Nick had never lived in and I don’t think he could handle that. 

and oh god that’s what I absolutely adore about people drawing him with Morgan’s wedding ring around his neck, because if it was on him when he was convicted and went to prison that that means it’s still there—it’s the ONLY thing that he would have to prove that his life existed, that he had a wife and a son and that they were happy. because everything else was completely erased. Morgan is not his Morgan anymore, and Nick is not his Nick. And even post-demon, he never will be Glenn’s Nick again.

the woman Glenn loves is gone forever (AGAIN) even though now she’s still alive (and oh god what a kick in the teeth—she would have lived if she wasn’t with him, the difference between her living and dying was loving Glenn) but now no one grieves her except Glenn

[tobias-hankel]

I Can’t Lose You

Summary: The team find out about Hotch and Spencer dating after the first time Hotch couldn’t keep his professionalism.  Rating T, Spencer Reid/Aaron Hotchner

Prompt: General #23 - “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?” with Hotchreid/Heid for 700 follower drabble.

Word Count: 1697

--

Neither Hotch nor Spencer were sure when it happened.

Whether it happened after their interview with Charles Hardwick, after the nights they spent in the same hotel room in Alaska, after Spencer confided in Hotch about his migraines in Miami or after Hotch saw just how great Spencer was with children during the case with Sammy Sparks.

Whenever it was, it didn’t matter. The two had fallen for each other and they had fallen hard.

They spent as much time as possible together. Going on dates, going out with Jack, even moving in together, all while hiding their relationship from the team.

They weren’t trying to be dishonest to their friends but it was just easier without so many hands involved. They didn’t have to worry about jokes, side eyes, or disapproving comments about Hotch being Spencer’s boss.

Hotch and Spencer kept their work relationship the same. There was no special treatment or reason for concern.

That was until a case that took the team to New York.

The BAU team was after an unsub who they believed to have schizophrenia and to be having a break from reality.

After four days of hard work, they had the identity of the unsub and were heading to make an arrest. As everyone was heading to the SUVs, Hotch pulled Spencer into a side room in the police station.

“Are you okay?” He asked, taking advantage of the empty room by leaning into Spencer, holding him by his hips and pulling him in. “You can stay here for the take down, if you need.”

Spencer sighed, “You worry too much. Just because the unsub has schizophrenia doesn’t mean anything.” Spencer gave Hotch a chaste kiss before moving back from his embrace, “Besides, I am the most trained on talking down someone in a psychotic break.”

Hotch chuckled at the smugness in his boyfriend’s voice, “I have no doubts in your abilities, baby. I just wanted to make sure.” Hotch gave his shoulder a squeeze before dropping his smile and gaining his stoic disposition back. “Let’s head out then, Reid.”

“Of course, sir.” Spencer said, unable to hide his smile as well as Hotch.

--

The take down did not go as planned.

The unsub, Shawn Smith, ran from the team as they entered his house and he ran into a neighbor’s home, taking a young woman hostage with a knife to her throat.

Hotch and Spencer entered the home first, followed by Morgan, Rossi, and Emily a minute later.

“Shawn, listen to me. It will be okay, but we need you to put the knife down.” Spencer started, putting his own gun away and raising his hands to show that he came in peace.

“No! No, I can’t!” The unsub yelled back at him, pushing the large knife he was holding up against the woman’s neck. “No! Leave me alone!” He yelled again but this time it was in the direction of an empty spot beside him.

Spencer took a step closer, “Shawn, we can help you. I can make them go away, but you have to trust me.”

Shawn shook his head roughly, “No! No one can! He never goes away!”

“Just let the woman go and I promise you I can make him go away. He will never bother you again.” Spencer took another step forward.

“Reid..” Hotch warned from behind him but Spencer ignored him.

“Just let go of the woman, Shawn.” He said quietly, trying to show that he was not a threat.

The unsub studied Spencer’s face, “Are you sure?”

“I promise, I will make him go away and never come back.” Spencer said. He knew the promise was a lie, but it seemed to be working.

Shawn loosened the grip on the woman before letting his arm that was holding the knife fall to his side. The woman jumped away from the unsub and pushed herself towards Emily, who tucked an arm around her and ushered her out of the door.

Spencer took one more step towards Shawn, “Great work, Shawn. Now I just need you to drop the knife, okay?” Shawn wasn’t listening though. He was looking over at the empty area next to him as he did earlier. “Shawn.. Let’s go get you—”

Spencer’s words were cut off by Shawn suddenly moving forward and stabbing Spencer directly in the side of the stomach, in between the straps of his bullet proof vest.

The sound of Spencer crying out in pain was completely covered up by the sound of gun shots. Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi all fired at the same time with Hotch making a headshot, killing Shawn instantly.

Shawn’s body had barely touched the ground before Hotch was next to Spencer, who was now laying on the ground as well.

“Spencer, Spencer!” Hotch cried out, holding his love in his arms. Spencer moved his arm to pull the knife out of his lithe body but Hotch stopped him, “No, you know you can’t touch it.”

Spencer was already feeling weak, so he didn’t put up a fight, instead he groaned out, “Aaron.. I’m sorry..”

Hotch moved Spencer’s hair out of his face, “No, baby. You did everything right. You are perfect.” He could hear the team moving around him. Morgan calling for a medic, Rossi checking Shawn’s body for any signs of life, but Hotch didn’t care. The last thing he was worried about was who might find out the two were dating. He couldn’t tare his eyes off Spencer.

Hotch looked down at the blood flowing out of Spencer’s torso, spilling onto Hotch’s lap and the floor. Hotch felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

Spencer can’t die. He just can’t.

“The medics are coming Spencer; you will be okay.” Hotch tried to comfort Spencer but he noticed his eyes folding closed, “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?”

Spencer fought to keep his eyes open, but he was failing fast. His body was feeling cold and starting to become numb. “I—I love y-you..” Spencer forced out.

“I love you so much, Spencer. Keep your eyes open, baby. Please.” Tears were now running down Hotch’s face. He couldn’t bare the thought of loosing another love and he had never loved anyone like he loved Spencer.

Haley was his first love, his high school sweetheart, the mother of his child, and he would always feel love for her, but Spencer was his soulmate. He wasn’t sure if he even believed in such a thing, but that was the best way to describe how he felt for the dying young man in his arms.

Spencer’s eyes fluttered closed again but this time, they didn’t open back up. “Spencer, Spencer! Please, baby! Wake up!” Hotch yelled desperately.

Just then three medics ran into the room, surrounding Spencer. “Sir, please let go of him so we can work.” One EMT said but Hotch ignored him, continuing to cry out for Spencer.

Rossi came up behind Hotch, “Aaron, come on. You need to let him go.” He said, tugging on Hotch’s arm, who reluctantly let go of his unconscious boyfriend but didn’t take his eyes off him.

The medical team got to work, checking Spencer’s pulse, trying to stop the bleeding on his side and loading him onto the stretcher. Spencer was unconscious but he still had a pulse, thankfully.

Hotch didn’t even bother to say anything to the team as he jumped into the back of the ambulance once Spencer was put inside. His mind was lost in the thought of Spencer dying.

Please, be okay…

--

When Spencer opened his eyes again, the first thing he saw was Hotch sleeping in a chair beside him. He was sore and confused, but he knew he was in a hospital. He was familiar with the sounds and smells of hospital rooms by now.

“Hey, pretty boy. You’re up!” Morgan said from the doorway, surprising him.

“Wha—Oh.. hey.” Spencer said with a hoarse tone.

Morgan pulled a water bottle out of the grocery bag he was holding and cracked it open for Spencer, “Here. Small sips.”

Spencer sat up, gasping lightly at the pain in his side. He took a few sips before letting Morgan take the bottle back. “Thanks.. How long have I been asleep?”

“Almost two days. The knife nicked your kidney and liver and they had to remove your gallbladder, but the doc said you will be fine.” Morgan said before Spencer could ask. He then nudged his head in the direction of sleeping Hotch. “He has been here the whole time. He wouldn’t even leave to shower.”

Spencer turned his attention back over to Hotch and smiled. He was glad that Hotch wasn’t the one that got hurt.

“So, when were you gonna tell us?” Morgan said, pulling Spencer out of his thoughts.

“I—uhh.. I don’t know what you mean.”

Morgan chuckled, “Drop the act, kid. Besides the fact that we heard you both say you loved each other, Hotch already told us.”

Spencer sighed, “We were going to tell you all. We were just nervous on how the team would react.”

“Well, we are all going to be gearing up our shovel talks but.. Does he treat you right?”

Spencer nodded, “Of course.”

“Does he make you happy?”

Spencer smiled and looked back at Hotch, “More than I thought possible.”

Morgan grinned, “Good. Then it’s not anyone else’s business.” Just then Hotch started to stir awake, and Morgan took it as his cue to step out, “I’m going to tell the doctor you’re up.”

Morgan was barely out of the door before Hotch jumped up, “Spencer! You’re up. How are you feeling?”

“Sore, but not too bad for being stabbed and almost dying.” Spencer smirked as if it were a joke before adding, “Thank you for staying with me.”

“I will always stay with you, Spencer but do not do that again.”

“No promises.” Spencer laughed, causing him to cringe in pain again.

Hotch moved closer to Spencer and held his hand, “Really.. I don’t think I would live through losing you. I love you so much, Spencer.”

“I love you more, Aaron.”

--

For @ssa-sarahsunshine! I feel like this is trash but I really hope you like it 😂😁 Thank you! 🖤

[secret-rendezvous1d]

Omg omg omg That last Spencer ask you replied to- I can’t- I. Literally. Can’t. I’m in tears 😭😭 could you keep it going with the scene in the hospital? Instead of Garcia taking care of Spencer and shooting the one unsub it’s y/n and she’s so on the edge with all that adrenaline from the day that she collapses on Spencer’s hospital bed? Or a scene of her taking him home afterwards and looking after him?xxx you literally save my day with your blurbs

Okay, this one hurt me more-

Long blurb, I know... but I’m not sorry for that. This spewed out of me like a bunch of word vomit so I do apologise for lack of sense but I’m not sorry for the length.

* mentions of guns, injury, hospitals, drugs/medication *

“It should have been me.”

Blake admits with such a tentative tone, like she was terrified of an explosive confrontation over something she already felt terribly about, her eyes bouncing around the room so she could look at anything by YN’s worried face. The long silence of the waiting room being broken by her timid confession.

“It could have been anyone. It’s just his luck that it happened to him,” YN says, a soft smile on her lips as she looks up from picking her fingernails and aims her emotions towards the nervous woman opposite her, “it could have been me, it could have been any one of us-”

“He pushed me out the way,” she clarifies, “it should have been me.”

YN can see the guilt written across her face and it broke her to bits; there was no reason for blame to be put on anyone and there was no need for the ‘what should have happened’s and the ‘who it should’ve been’s and YN wasn’t going to let Blake blame herself as the reason why Spencer was shot in the field. The downside to the job, whilst it looked thrilling and managed to keep you on your toes, was knowing that anything like this could happen at any moment and they had to take it as it came and not dwell on when or how it would happen to who ever was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Spencer just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Don’t blame yourself,” YN sits up in her chair and reaches over, placing her hand on Blake’s knee and squeezing in reassuringly, “I don’t blame you for what happened and Spencer definitely wouldn’t blame you for what happened.”

“Won’t,” she retorts at YN’s use of tenses and it made the young girl stiffen in her seat. She’d really spoken as if all of her hope and her faith had fizzled away, like he he wasn’t going to survive the chances, and she wanted to slap herself on the wrist for delving that deep. For not believing in the strength he had to get through. “He won’t blame me.”

“He won’t,” YN repeats, “he’ll make it through. Spence is a strong guy, he won’t give up without a fight.”

She gives her Blake’s knee one more reassuring squeeze and she gives her a tight-lipped smile, because she really couldn’t bear to be happy and give off a bright spark under the circumstances, before she sat back and took a look at the clock. He’d been under for almost two hours and YN was beginning to lose all track of existence, like time was slipping away and becoming something that never existed, lost in her thoughts.

They still had so much they wanted to do together.

They wanted to travel the world together and create a book full of memories on how they spent their time in different countries and Spencer taught her about all of the different cultures, they poke about marriage and the kind of wedding they wanted to have, they spoke about having kids and threw around some of their favourite baby names like she was about to give birth, and he’d brought them tickets to a film festival that he had been eager to take her to and that she had been excited to go to because it was a date night and special date nights were rare when working in the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI; they took any chance they got to treat each other and spend time with one another outside of the office.

What felt like another two hours had really one been twenty minutes when they were given permission to see him.

“How is he?”

YN stands to her feet in a haste, grabbing the bag full of Spencer’s belongings as the surgeon came to a halt in the middle of the waiting room. His explanation waiting until YN was fully stood in front of him so she could take in what he was about to tell her, her mind expecting the worst but her heart expecting the good news she had been silently manifesting and praying for.

“He’s incredibly lucky,” the surgeon explains, “two millimetres to the right and the bullet would have torn through the carotid artery.”

And he didn’t have to speak in Layman's terms for YN to understand just how lucky he really was. Watching him get shot was one thing, watching his barely conscious body being dragged from the danger was another thing... but being there as he bled out and essentially bled to death? That would have been the end of her career because she couldn’t do it without him.

“It nicked some small vessels but,” he smiles at YN and her knees are like jelly as she wobbles on her legs, “we stopped the bleeding. You can see him now.”

*

Seeing him so vulnerable in his hospital bed made her melt.

All sorts of emotions were running through her veins; she felt scared because all she could think about was something going wrong in his recovery, she felt sad because watching her boyfriend get shot wasn’t what she had expected and it shouldn’t have ever been something she witnessed, she felt angry because he could have prevented it from happening if he believed Blake had the situation handled, but she felt happy and she felt like crying happy tears because she felt like the world was back to normal now that he was awake and awaiting the one person he wanted to see.

“Hi,” he smiles sweetly and lifts a hand up to wave at her but it wasn’t so strong and he sounded sleepy and she couldn’t blame him for that, “come sit with me. I missed you.”

“I’m mad at you,” she states, arms folding over her chest as she stood in the doorway and took in his appearance; disheveled hair that stood in all directions, a bandage around his neck that kept his wound covered and safe from any kind of infection it could pick up, tubes and wires connected to him as the room fills with the rhythmic beeps from his heart monitor, “I’m really mad at you.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers and there’s sincerity in his voice. He hoped she wasn’t going to be mad at him but she was (or so he thought) and that wasn’t what he had intended with his actions back at the crime scene. “Please, come sit with me though? You don’t have to talk to me. Just, sit so I know you’re safe here.”

She was never going to walk away.

The seat beside him looked comfier than the waiting room chairs anyway so she would have been a fool to ignore his plea in keeping him company. She sets his belongings at the foot of his bed and steps further into the room, the heat coming from the radiator feeling so tingly against her exposed skin, and she shrugs off her jacket so she could feel the real benefit of the radiator. She stands at the side of his bed and leans over, pressing her lips against his warm forehead and leaving a very faint gloss smear against his skin.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” she cups his face in her hands and they blush under her touch, “don’t do that again, Spencer.”

“Baby, I wouldn’t dream of it,” he tilts his head into her touch and closes his eyes, content with how she very clearly feigned her anger towards him and all kinds of warm and fuzzy because she’s all he needed for his recovery. Her lips press against his in the most gentlest of kisses before she pulls back and sits herself down, his eyes opening and never leaving her face, “I love you. You think I’d jeopardise that?”

“You already did,” she clarifies and brings the chair closer, resting her elbows on the thin mattress he was laid upon and grabbing his hand with one of her own, “I can’t cope with how it made me feel. It was the worst experience of my life and I’ve killed people.”

“Criminals,” he corrects her and she lets out a gentle laugh, “you’ve killed all the criminals like a badass.”

She rolls her eyes.

Spencer was back, thankfully, and YN couldn’t have felt more normal after such a night of chaos and panic and all things worrying.

*

Hours had passed since he had woken from surgery.

He’d slept for a couple of those hours and gave in to the aches behind his eyes but all he had wanted to do was stay awake and never take a moment with YN for granted ever again, even if it meant sleep was put on the back burner. Life was too short, especially when working such a career as they had, and there was an uncertainty to when they really would never see one another again and he’d already nearly left her behind. He couldn’t bare to think about that happening, or with the shoe being on the other foot, and watching her and looking at her made him feel so much more solace than knowing he was on the mend.

When her mobile dings with a text alert from Morgan, an image attached that he needed her to see, she feels her heart race. Whilst she had been sat there with Spencer, she had been wracking her brain and reading through files and notes on what the team had already thrown around and bounced off of one another, and they had kept her in the loop like she had kept them in the loop on just how Spencer was doing so shortly after his incident. The man in the picture was the man she had seen walk passed the ward, many times in the last few hours, and it left a sour taste behind.

He’s here.

At the nurse’s station. I’ve seen him walk outside Spence’s room a few times.

YN feels sick to her stomach. Things had been serene because she was away from the chaos of working the case that the team were working on and left with her boyfriend as she kept him company so he wasn’t alone - of course, he’d told her he was fine and that he was as safe as he could be and that the team needed her expertise and her skills more than she needed to be with him but she refused to leave him.

She wanted to be with him.

He never wanted to take a moment with her for granted and she never wanted to take a moment with him for granted, ever again. And there was no way she was going to let anyone ruin the track they had rebuilt to normality...

Shut the door and don’t leave Reid. Get him in a wheelchair if you can.

Spencer was clueless to the text exchange happening, just like he was clueless as to who the unsub was and how he was stood outside the ward; he wasn’t even phased by how intensely she had been staring at her phone nor had he seen how her eyes were constantly darting from the window of the ward to him to the phone in her hand as she awaited the texts. 

If not, shoot if you have your gun on you. Reid’s will be in his patient bag if you don’t. Back up is on the way, I’ll be there soon.

YN gulps thickly and the gun in the holster upon her hip felt much more heavier than usual. It was there, she wouldn’t be found without it (not now and not ever) tucked into her pocket or hanging off her belt, and she planned on using it if she needed it.

A knock on the door brings her back down to earth, it wakes Spencer up and it brings a sense of busyness to what had been filled with silence and nothing but their gentle breathing and no movement. A doctor stepping foot into the room, a clipboard in his hand and a solemn look on his face, interrupting their little bubble. Her phone went forgotten on his bedside table, locked to keep any of the wandering eyes from peeking at what her team was sending her, so she could keep her focus on whatever the doctor had to say.

“He, uh, he had his meds an hour ago,” YN reminds him and Spencer tucks up a little deeper under the thin, blue coloured comforter that came with the stay, “I was here so I saw.”

She was given a blunt answer in response, “yeah, post-op antibiotics.”

“Yeah, he had those, too.”

Curiosity gets the better of him and Spencer cranes his neck forward, trying to grab a look at what he was about to be given in regards to medication.

“What ones?” He catches sight of the label in the doctor’s hands and frowns to himself when he reads what he shouldn’t be reading, “carbenicillen? No, that’s not right. I have a severe reaction to beta lactams. I can’t have that.”

The clipboard that had been placed on the bed had been picked up by the doctor, her fingers flicking through his charts and his information, looking at him and shaking his head, “it’s not in your chart.”

YN feels her fight or flight response taking over when the doctor turns his body in the direction of the monitors that her boyfriend was wired up to, the antibiotic held in his hand as he preps and readies to medicate. Whatever Spencer was allergic to would have been written on his hospital chart so there was no way he was about to injected with whatever could kill him; he already faced death today and she wasn’t going to let that happen again. 

“What are you doing?” 

Spencer panics, YN panics, and he’s tugging at the wires he’s intubated with as the doctor readies himself to give him the medication he was asked to give him. A close call because Spencer fought back, slapping his hands away from the monitor so he couldn’t go through with the task of poisoning him with what he shouldn’t be allowed, the tiny bottle dropping to the floor and requiring him to pick it up... which only backfired against his mission.

“Gun,” Spencer calls and turns to his girlfriend but YN had seen it coming from a mile off, her gun ready and cocked before the doctor could turn around, “he has a gun, YN.”

By the time he turned, YN didn’t give him time to react because she had perfect aim and a clear shot that she wasn’t going to let go of. Spencer covered his ears as he prepared for the sound and closed his eyes because he couldn’t sit and watch his girlfriend have her turn in confronting death. 

But when he feels her collapse against the bed, a hiccup of a sob escaping her parted lips, his pained movements get thrown to the side because she looked and she sounded and she was exhausted. Stressed, emotional and tired and who could blame her? She’d been through a lot. She grips onto his waist and she buries her face into the hospital gown covering his chest and she just cries. With everything that had happened, she hadn’t cried yet. Even though she felt like she wanted to, she didn’t bring herself to show emotion because there was a need to be strong in front of her colleagues... even though they expected her to break-down, they were impressed by how strong she kept her guard up.

“You’re okay,” he coos into the top of her head. He hears Morgan’s footsteps in the hallway, standing by the ward as an extra set of hands in case there was any other corrupt officers standing by to complete their mission, and Spencer smiles warmly at him as he turns his back to give them the privacy they needed to have. His main focus being cuffing the ‘doctor, as he laid injured on the floor. “You saved my life, YN.”

That only makes a sob erupt from her chest and it shakes her body and forces her arms to tighten around him.

“You’re okay,” he repeats softly, kissing her head, “you did so good today. I’m so proud of you.” xx

[mshermia]

LYKHIW Timeline - WIP Page

Welcome! This post records the status and progress of my work expanding my Post-Endgame (MCU) series to “Like You’d Know How It Works”.

I left the cinema post-Endgame incredibly mad and disappointed. After I aired my immediate frustration with the movie in two One-Shots, I decided for my own peace of mind, I had to try and salvage the mess that was Endgame somehow, because I simply like the characters too much, not to. A week after I started writing, I published the first chapter on AO3. About a year later, I felt the need to expand on the original fix-it. I have and will continue to add to this timeline, writing different adventures that will mostly focus on Tony Stark and Peter Parker.

Genre: MCU fanfiction

The Fix-It

Like You’d Know How It Works (completed)

Setting: sets in right after the battle at the Compound is over, supersedes the concluding events of Endgame.

Premise: Straight after the battle is won - or lost, depending on your perspective - Peter tries to convince the Avengers to save Mr. Stark by going back into the Quantum Realm.

Tropes: time-travel, quantum realm, protective Peter

Mood: grief & loss, hope, family

Someone had organized this room at Metro General hospital for them to sit and talk. Sitting was not an option for Peter though. He couldn’t bear to sit. He couldn’t bear to have anyone look at his injuries either, not when there were more pressing matters to attend to.

“You said that whatever we do in the past will not change our present!” Peter’s fist hit the table with a crash. They simply weren’t listening. His face felt grimy and tight in places where the dirt from the battlefield stuck to the tears he had cried over Mr. Stark’s body. Maybe he should have thought of washing the traces off his face before confronting a few of the Avengers and Doctor Strange. It might have made him seem a little more collected. A little more rational. “That’s what you just said!”

Chapters 9/9 | 42 K | Teen and Up

Follow-up Shorts and Multi-chapters

Just Outside The Door (completed)

Setting: Days after Tony was brought back from the multiverse

Premise: Peter did it. He found his mentor and brought him back, but sometimes it all just seemed too good to be true. Sometimes, his mind played tricks on him and he just couldn’t sleep, wondering if he had really brought Mr. Stark back or if it had all just been a desperate dream.

Tropes: nightmares, PTSD, protective Tony, Whumptober 2020: No. 23

Mood: fear, working through trauma, comfort

There was only silence in his room now unless you were to count the frantic beat of his heart and the deep shaky breaths he sucked in and blew back out. It hadn’t even been a nightmare this time, not truly. He hadn’t really fallen asleep in the first place. Exhaustion was tugging at the edges of his consciousness and that’s where his thoughts had started to spiral.

Mr. Stark was okay. Peter was… he was pretty sure of that. He had succeeded, had brought him back home and now he was okay. But there was a little voice in the back of his head that kept nagging, that kept telling him that maybe… maybe he was wrong. Maybe it had all been a delusional dream, too good to be true, Peter wishing something into reality that was unobtainable. He had seen his mentor die after all. He had died right in front of him, the memory etched into his memory, right there whenever he closed his eyes. Dimensions, time travel… was that really real?

Chapters 1/1 | 4.2 K | Teen and Up

Nothing Left To Lose (in progress)

Setting: 2 weeks after Tony was brought back from the multiverse

Premise:

The reversal of the Snap added an additional 3.5 billion people back to Earth’s population. 3.5 billion more people to house somewhere, 3.5 billion mouths to be fed, 3.5 billion people who return to a world that was not expecting them to ever come back.

Tropes: food shortage, starvation, looting, blurred lines of good and evil; Whumptober 2020: No. 3

Mood: anger, desperation, conflicted who to help 

Tony groaned, rolling his stiff neck from one side to the other as the gate clicked shut behind Pepper. “Remind me again… Why did we agree to this?”

Pepper didn’t bother to send him a scolding look as she wrapped the security seal around the gate’s locking mechanism. “Because we’re good neighbors?”

“We are?” He smelled like damp fur. When did wet fur and barn animals become his life? “Since when exactly? Was there a house meeting? Did I miss it?”

“Mh… do you need a reminder of the process of negotiation?” She took a step towards him, one hand twisted in his shirt pulling him close against her, their lips almost close enough to touch. “You smell like wet alpaca.”

He pulled in an affronted gasp. The hand that was still holding his shirt pushed him away from her, her lips stretched wide in amusement. “Come on, Cesar. Maybe I’ll remind you after a hot shower.”

Chapters 1/2 | 3.4 K | Teen and Up

Unnamed WIP (unpublished)

Setting: 4 months after Tony was brought back from the multiverse

Premise:

For months, Peter has been commuting between the city and the Stark’s remote cabin in the woods. But now that life in NYC has regained some normalcy, he really wants to show Morgan what the greatest city in the world has to offer.

Tropes: power outage, panic attack, PTSD; Whumptober 2020: No. 27

Nope. “Not going down that rabbit-hole, Parker,” he muttered to himself.

“What rabbit-hole?” Morgan was sitting opposite him, munching on the cookies Pepper had put out.

“Nevermind.” Peter scooped two tea spoons of sugar into his coffee, then added another one just to be safe.

“Mommy says coffee corrupts the soul.”

“Please, like you even know what ‘corrupt’ means….”

Morgan tilted her head to the side, just like her mom would do. “I know it’s not nice.”

Peter gave her a look. “Well, your dad says it’s the elixir of life.” And Mr. Stark would know. Peter gave his head one hard shake. Tony. Tony would know. One sip of the black brew and Peter’s teeth hurt. Definitely too much sugar. “Okay, remember what we talked about?”

Morgan sat up straight, her eyes wide. “Ask mommy first!”

“That’s right! Make sure you use those puppy eyes, too.” Morgan nodded along enthusiastically while he quickly nicked her glass of milk and poured a generous potion of it into his mug. “We wait till, you know, till Tony’s gone downstairs or something and then—”

“And then you’ll ask me what?”

Chapters -/2 | - K | Teen and Up

Christmas Eve - At Peace (completed)

Setting: 5 months after Tony was brought back from the multiverse

Premise:

Just a couple of months after they defeated Thanos, Tony and Pepper throw a Christmas party. Instead of a partying kid, Tony finds his Spiderling outside in the snow at the grave he has been trying to ignore ever exists.

Tropes: anger and grief, blame and fear, no prompt

Mood: wholesome, family, frustration

Tony narrowed his eyes at him. "I mean it!" For good measure, he took a healthy gulp from the cup, positively burning his throat in the process. But it wasn't until Harley threw his hands in the air and turned his back in defeat - for now - that Tony allowed his face to cringe at the sting. Those little trouble makers were not helping with his heart condition. Speaking of trouble... "Where is Peter?"

Harley crossed his arms in front of himself, his mind clearly brooding on a new strategy. "No clue."

Tony's next sip of the hot wine was a lot smoother than the first. "What do you mean, no clue?"

"It generally means that the person doesn't have any information about the subject that you are—"

"Alright, short stuff..." Tony's eyes were searching the room but the little spider was nowhere to be seen. "A bit less of the asshole routine please?"

"Listen, if you want me to babysit, same rules apply as they do for Morgan." Brazen in his brattiness, the little shit ladled a good helping of mulled wine into a new cup. "I'll need a heads-up and generous compensation that I'm happy to re-negoti— Hey!"

Harley tried to hold on to the cup that Tony once again just plucked from his hands. "You've had enough of this!"

"That one is for Rhodey," the boy scowled.

Chapters 1/1 | 3.8 K | Teen and Up

The Winter Air (completed)

Setting: 6 months after Tony was brought back from the multiverse

Premise:

Tony, Peter, and Morgan spent a winter day outside the Stark residence.

Tropes: accident, hurt Tony, hurt Peter, Whumptober 2020: No. 13

Mood: fun to fear, injury, accusations, blame

Well, it wasn’t that easy. Because things were apparently never just easy in the life of one Peter Parker. Turned out, there were still some assholes out there. Not the Thanos-kind. Not for now at least. The regular kind though and Peter for one saw absolutely no reason as to why anything should have changed in his responsibility to stop them from being assholes.

His aunt somehow disagreed more often than she didn’t. Annoyingly now though, she managed to drag Mr. Stark to her side a lot more than she used to, too.

Peter shook his head at himself. Tony. T-O-N-Y. It wasn’t that hard, was it? He still slipped up every so often. But as much as that bugged him, it was the others who bugged him even more. Colonel Rhodes and Hawkeye among them the most willing to tease Peter about it. Him, and Tony too, for his mentor never commented on it with more than a crooked smile. When it was just the two of them, that was often the only indication for Peter, that he had said it again.

It made the times when it really was just them so enjoyable. A new ease between them. They had never had this, this kind of bonding. Sure, they’d spent time together before everything had gone downhill on their little space adventure, in the lab or on a normal earth-bound mission. Not like this though, not like Peter staying over at the Stark residence for a few days at a time. Not like him sliding along-side Morgan on the ice on the lake, trying to catch Tony. Not like Morgan falling over and taking Tony right with her and the way Peter’s stomach hurt from laughing so hard when Mr. Stark’s sweet little Morguna drowsed him with two full hands of snow and he just hadn’t seen it coming.

Chapters 3/3 | 14 K | Teen and Up

Unnamed Multichapter WIP (unpublished)

Setting: picks up where The Winter Air ended, 6 months after Tony was brought back from the multiverse

Premise:

First time all of the Avengers come together after the Snap was reversed. With Tony retired, Peter has to find his place in the team and learn to work with the other Avengers without Tony. Tensions are running high with the events of Civil War still largely unresolved and lingering resentments stemming from Peter’s multidimensional rescue mission to save Tony.

Tropes: Avengers mission, mistrust, growing as a team; Whumptober 2020: No.7

Tony’s eyes went wide. Was it possible that…

“Hey, FRI?”

“Good morning, boss. It’s 10:16 am on February 5th, 2024. The temperature outside is—”

“Yeah, just… can you stop for a moment?” He waved her off. “Send Dory out to the lake, would you. There’s some stuff still lying out there on the ice.”

“Right away, Sir.”

Tony watched as the little blue drone circled the lake, getting closer and closer to what he was sure were the Spiderling’s clothes still lying out there, where he had taken them off to—

“Hey, what are you doing out of bed!”

Despite himself, he twitched as Pepper made her way into the room. She had pushed the door open with her hip, balancing his breakfast on a large wooden tablet.

“Here, let me—” Tony stepped towards her, arms at the ready to take the tablet but she held it out of his reach.

“What do you think you’re doing? Get back in that bed!”

Chapters -/- | - K | Teen and Up

There... And Back Again (in progress)

Setting: about a year after Tony was brought back to life

Premise:  The Starks drive upstate to the old Mansion where Tony grew up. To Tony’s horror, the trip takes him and the kids a lot further down memory lane than anyone could have predicted.

Tropes: time travel, Howard Stark’s A++ parenting; Febuwhum2021 Day 12 - Who Are You

“Pete, seriously…” Tony looked up into the review mirror trying to catch his eye. “Can you not? I don’t want Morgan up all night, terrified of some dumb ghosts.”

“Come on, it’s just a story, Tony. Morgan knows I made it all up, right?” Peter winked at her, then wiggled his eyebrows in a way that seemed kind of familiar.

“Yeah, daddy.” But Morgan was full-on ignoring Tony, her eyes on Peter trying to imitate the wink and wiggly eyebrows he had just sent her way. “It’s just a story.”

He could do little more than groan as Peter continued to spin a tale of spirits and witches, ancient pacts and promises that had to be kept, ransoms that the spirits had vowed to retrieve.

“It was a night very much like tonight,” Peter continued, his voice low and full of dreadful foreboding, “that the witches broke that pact they had signed with the blood of the innocent…”

“Morgan’s gasp morphed into a giddy giggle while Tony could only rub a hand across his brow and mumbled, "Blood of the innocent, give me a fucking break…”

Chapters 1/3 | 4,4 K | Teen and Up

Are We Out Of The Woods Yet?, (completed)

Setting: 4 years after Tony was brought back from the multiverse

Premise:

 Peter takes Morgan into the depths of a National Park so she can collect samples for a biology project.

Tropes: Peter & Morgan, protective Peter, hurt Morgan, hurt Peter, Whumptober 2020: No. 12

Mood: disappointment, mistakes, anger, angst, comfort

“There are so many reasons why online classes are better than going to school.”

Peter shook his head. “And there are plenty of reasons why learning in school with other students is preferable. How it helps retain the material better than—”

Morgan groaned without even looking at him, her nose in the air, eyes on the leafy trees above them. “You can learn the same things at home, only then you could have dinner at night with us instead of in your stinky room in Boston.”

“Hey,” he craned his neck to see where she went, then walked after her. “My room doesn’t stink.”

“It’s a boy’s room.” She said it like that alone was a valid argument, when it couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, the girl’s dorms he had been in—

He stopped himself. Not the time and place.

Chapters 2/2 | 8 K | Teen and Up

[jpegjade]

Mr. Loverman (bonus) - Spencer

so i hit 1k frens and ferns. and to celrbrate, I decided to write an extra chapter. a bonus chapter, if you will. anyway enjoy this fluff please.

__________________

“JJ, are you sure I’m doing the right thing?” You asked, sitting in front of the mirror while JJ finished your hair. 

You wore a gorgeous white wedding dress that cascaded to the floor. Your makeup was done by Garcia, although she definitely dialed it back more than a few notches. You and JJ were the only ones left in the room since it was almost time for Rossi to talk you down the aisle. 

“I can’t tell you that. I can only tell you that Spence loves you more than he loves his job. He would give it up for you if he asked, especially after what happened. So you have to decide if you can live without him. You tried it for two years and you saw how you felt. Can you do it again and never come back? Because if you leave right now, you can’t come back.” JJ said, finally stepped back and let you admire your hair. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you looked so different. Everything about you read formal, as it should, but it felt so… Weird. 

“I can’t do it. Not again.” You shook your head lightly, closing your eyes. 

“So that’s it? Because Rossi is almost here and he won’t stop you but he won’t let you go without at least saying something.” JJ said, followed by a sigh. 

“No, not running. I mean I can’t live without him. The last time was hard enough and I don’t know how I made it.” 

A knock on the door interrupted the two of you. JJ had the biggest smile on her face as you stood up and turned towards the door. 

“You look like a princess.” Rossi said, arms out to hug you. 

You wanted this to be a small thing. You didn’t want all of this to be a big deal but once the ball got rolling, it wouldn’t stop. You weren’t close with your family so you went with your extended family, the one you chose, to complete the day. 

“Y/n, you look amazing. Are you ready?” Rossi said. 

You looped your arm around his and took a deep breath. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You smiled.

JJ walked over to the door, pushing it open for her maid of honor entrance. You got a glimpse of Spencer, who was dressed to the nines in his black tux and a purple bow tie with gold ends. The colors of the wedding were white, purple and gold so everything was absolutely gorgeous. 

“All rise for the bride.” You heard Hotch say over the microphone. He was apparently certified to officiate weddings so that was something you didn't know until Spencer mentioned it. 

The doors were pulled open and you saw all of the guests seated in the seats on the lawn. Your family and a few friends on one side and Spencer’s mom on the other side along with some other people you didn’t know but you knew they were somehow connected to Spencer on the other side. You saw Morgan, dressed like Spencer but with a regular tie. 

And then there was Spencer. Glowing in the beautiful, cascading sunlight, Spencer. Your soon to be husband, Spencer. Your soon to be husband who was crying because he was so happy to see you, Spencer.

“You look incredible.” Spencer said as you got up to the podium, joining hands with him as Rossi gave you away. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” You said, smiling. 

The two of you were barely listening to Hotch because you and Spencer were just lost in each other’s eyes. You kept whispering, “I love you” to him, making him smile and respond, “I love you more.” 

Finally it was time for vows. Spencer went first because you wanted to knock his purple and gold mismatched socks off with yours. Also the vows section was making Spencer nervous enough to visibly shake. The boy bent his knees a little to ensure he didn't pass out.

“Y/n, you scare me.” He paused while everyone laughed. “Every day, I wake up knowing that today could be the day you couldn’t take it anymore. The anxiety, the fear, the adrenaline of never knowing that you’re safe. You scare me at night when I turn over and you’re not there for me to cling to, especially when it’s cold. You scare me when you’re happy and you scare me when you’re mad. You scare the hell out of me.” 

Spencer paused to let go of your hand for a moment to wipe away a tear that fell. He was trying and failing to keep himself composed. 

“Y/n, you amaze me. You wake up every day knowing that it could be the last for either of us and you go about your day normally. You amaze me because you put your trust in me to protect you. You amaze me because you’re always up taking care of you or me. You amaze me because you wake up without me for days at a time and you trust me enough to know I’m coming back to you, even when it’s cold. You amaze me with your smile and you amaze me when you don’t throw knives at me when you’re mad.” 

He paused for more laughter. 

“I promise to hold you close, protect you, and love you today, tomorrow, and after I take my last breath.” Spencer finished. 

You wiped a couple tears away. You had to fight the urge to kiss him. You were almost through the ceremony, all you needed to do was your vows.

“Spencer, you have pissed me off since the day I met you.” It was your turn to pause for laughter, which was even louder than Spencer’s. 

“You made me so angry on our first date because you wouldn’t kiss me so I had to pull you in by your tie and change your life. You spent the night and we didn’t get sleep because you were telling me all about the world through your eyes and that beautiful brain of yours. Even today, I am in awe. You are the light of my life and that pisses me off. Without you, my world is consumed in a darkness like no other. You give me all of your heart and you never hold back. You have pissed me off so much that I’m scared of passing it along to the kids so they’re always pissed at you too.” 

Spencer smiled and wiped his eyes again. Derek handed him his pocket square and Spencer patted it under his eyes. 

“Spencer, I love you but you have pissed me off so consistently that for the next nine months, I will be bitching to you about how it’s your fault I’m now eating for two.” You smiled. 

There were audible gasps but your favorite reaction was Spencer’s jaw physically dropping. You made him speechless just like you and JJ planned. You two were the only ones who knew until that very moment. 

Spencer took a step forward, engulfing you in a hug. You were glad Garcia put setting powder on your face because otherwise, Spencer would have a make-up imprint of your face on his tux. Eventually everyone calmed down enough to do the rings.  

“...I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Hotch stepped off to the side as you and Spencer went in for your first kiss as a married couple. You closed your eyes and...

“Y/n, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” You knew that voice. 

Everything was black and your body felt heavy. You tried to move your hand but could only manage to squeeze whatever was holding your hand down. It suddenly let go and you were able to open your eyes a little bit. Everything was so bright and you were so sore. Your mouth felt dry and everything felt wrong. Someone was shining a light in your eyes and it hurt so you groaned. 

“Y/n, I’m your doctor. You’re going to cough a little bit and your voice will be a bit scratchy after a month of not using it but we’re going to take the tube out.” Your eyelids were half open. 

Coughing hurt your chest like a bitch and you wanted water but eventually you could see perfectly fine again. Spencer’s eyes were red and his face was flushed. He had been crying, that was obvious. But what was he doing here? Why were you here? 

“What happened? I thought... The wedding…” You said before needing more water. 

“You were shot, y/n. It’s been a month and your heart was nicked in a certain spot but because you were swaying in the chair a little bit… Cat missed.” He said, followed by a heavy sigh. 

“That bitch.” You said, earning a chuckle from Spencer. 

“What about the wedding?” You said trying to sit up a little bit. 

Spencer let go of your hand to move the hospital bed up into a sitting position. 

“You called it off a couple years ago.” Spencer said quietly. 

You felt for your ring, a nervous habit you had ever since you got it. You didn’t feel it on your finger and started to panic. You never took it off. Where was it?

“Here you go.” Spencer said, holding the ring in the palm of his hand. “They didn’t think you would pull through so they…” A tear rolled down his cheek as he looked down at his Converse.

You put in all of your energy to wipe it away from him. 

“Spencer.” You said, drawing his attention. “Marry me.” 

A look of confusion crossed over his face. He was still holding the ring. 

“I thought… After all those years and this incident, I would think that you would want to get as far away from me as possible. Your fears were right and look at what happened…” Spencer had more tears welling in his eyes at the thought of losing you. 

“I don’t care. I will die a thousand deaths if it means I get to wake up to your face every day. Well, almost every day. I can’t live without you. A little birdie told me that you will hold me close, protect me and love me beyond the grave.” You tried to smile but you were getting sleepy. Spencer looked so confused. 

“Okay. Yes.” Spencer said, leaning over to kiss your forehead. 

You grabbed his tie with your last bit of strength and pulled him into a kiss. 

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Fowl Language || Nate and Kaden

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Nate’s Apartment PARTIES: @deadicated-nate and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Nate’s birb gotta go :/

After a long few days of trying to get some fresh air, Nate was thrilled to be spending his day off cleaning up around the house and trying to teach Alea some new words. She was an incredibly fast learner, always impressing Nate with how quickly she added new words to her vocabulary. On one of his trips out of the house, Nate had gotten her a whole new gang of toys to reward her and she seemed in good spirits. For the first time in weeks, Nate felt at peace. He opened the blinds, let some sunlight in and brought his feathered friend out into the living room so they could enjoy the golden June sunset. His peace was cut abruptly short at the sound of a loud rap on his door, a sound so out of place that it caused him to jump a good foot and a half in the air. “Someone’s at the door! Someone’s at the door! Uninvited!” Nate cooed at Alea, attempting to calm her before heading over to see who was interrupting him. It wasn’t like Nate got too many visitors. He pulled open the door slowly, peeking around the edge to see who was standing on the other side, his mouth dropping. “Kaden? Problem, officer?”

There was a lot of shit going wrong in Kaden’s life. So much shit. But he could make one thing right. Even if the person in question didn’t want his fucking help, they were going to get it. They’d thank him later. Alright, no, they probably wouldn’t but he could sleep a slight bit better at night. Not that the aravo in Nate’s apartment was really keeping him awake but it was the fucking principle of the matter. He’d gone to the “pet shop” on Amity and sure enough, all monsters, no fuccking legitimate permits to speak of. Kaden was having trouble getting the place completely shut down, but he did at least get the paperwork of the “pets” sold to customers to follow up on. Nate was one of them. Easy enough to get his address and head over there. “I have a warrant for your unlicensed bird,” he said, biting back his smile from being too wide. He was off to a cordial start, really. “Or you can just let me in and we can cut the crap.”

Nate shrunk back, closing the door slightly in front of him. He had the right permits. The shop gave them to him! God, was this dude just a huge dick for no reason?? Nate hadn’t done anything to make him hate him or his poor bird! Not to mention how much good Alea had done him, keeping him company and erasing the sinking loneliness of the home he’d once built for him and his love. “Why?” His eyes were imploring. What did it matter if Alea was an exotic pet? Even if she was illegal, what was it to this guy? What Regan could see in the guy, Nate would never know. Nate pulled himself up, trying to look intimidating and failing. “You can’t.”

Kaden sighed. It was going to be the difficult way, wasn't it? He pulled out the papers and showed the warrant. “I can. That’s how warrants work. Please don’t make this worse.” He had every confidence this was only going to get worse. “I really don’t want to force my way in if I can avoid it. The pet shop you got him from? Illegal business. Sorry, but I need the bird.” The real question was if he was going to be forced to kill it right away or if he could actually cage the thing first. Guess he’d see. He put his hand against the door to make sure it didn’t shut in his face. No pressure on it. Yet. “You been having any issues with your voice?”

Nate’s brows furrowed. Maybe if the guy knew how important Alea was to him, that she wasn’t just some bird, some pet that could be replaced. She was more than family, she was his only true friend. Nate had told her so many things that haunted him, fears he hadn’t told Morgan or even Nell when he was drugged. But he didn’t go against the law. Head falling down, Nate opened the door, allowing the man to enter. But he couldn’t give up without a fight. “Just- leave her,” he croaked. Cocking his head, he furrowed his brows again. “My voice?” Sure, sometimes it was hard to choke out the words he wanted, but it’s not like he had strep or anything. He was just nervous. A lot. And allergies. “No...why?”

Kaden stepped inside and searched for the bird. With the squawks and rustles of feathers, it wasn’t hard to find. He kept his eyes fixed ahead, not wanting to deal with whatever stupid attachment the guy had to the monster in question. It was never fun dealing with beasts that looked like pets, tricked humans into thinking they were friendly. Didn’t change what he had to do. Who knew how many voices this had. “Nothing? Never felt a little hoarse around your bird?” His eyes narrowed at the animal. “Go away! Uninvited!” it squealed out. Not sure why he figured it wouldn't put up a fight. “Just asking because they have uh...” Powers. They had powers. “Well they typically cause most people to have, uh, allergies. You know. All that.”

Nate hovered behind Kaden as he made his way deeper into the house, his eyes fixed on the back of the man’s head. He wondered if it made him feel good to take people’s pets away, members of their family. Just because of some darned paperwork. He tried to give Alea a consoling look, but her feathers were rustled and she was dancing side to side on her perch, clearly not a fan of their visitor either. “No.” He said firmly, crossing his arms. “W-what difference? Hm?” He coughed into his elbow. Summer blooms messing with his lungs. “What difference does that make?” He moved to try to stand between the animal control officer and his new best friend, his face imploring. “She didn’t do anything wrong.” “Nothing wrong! Nothing wrong!” Alea echoed.

Kaden’s eyes narrowed as he looked at the guy, coughing and sputtering a little. It wasn’t a certainty that the bird was stealing his voice, maybe it was just allergies, but that wasn’t a chance he was going to take. He reached out to the creature, but before he could do much of anything, Nate was standing in front of him. He couldn’t help but huff and roll his eyes. The voice that came out of the bird sounded almost human. Right. Nothing wrong. “That doesn’t mean you can keep her. I’m sorry. You got pulled into a scam. I’m just trying to uphold the law.” He tried to keep his tone sincere. And he did mean it. Losing a pet, even if it was a monster, it sucked. And a replacement wasn’t the same. Not when it came to animals. “Please step aside,” he pleaded. Without waiting, the bird cawe, “Nothing wrong!” and leapt from her perch and flew beak first at Kaden, wings sprawled and talons out.

Nate didn’t want to interfere with the law, but he’d already lost so much in this life, couldn’t he have just one thing that was good? One thing that was his? He was about to throw his arms out in protection when Alea rocketed into the air, her claws looking for purchase in Kaden’s skin. “Alea! No! Bad girl!” The bird shrieked and inhuman noise, feathers flying about the room. “Bad! Bad! Bad man!” She shrieked, attacking the officer with a fury Nate had never seen before. He flung himself across the room, trying without success to grab onto her leg. “What’s- Alea! What’s gotten into you!!”

The talons dug into his arm as Kaden tried to shield his face from the attack. He tried to throw his arm away and shake the creature off, blood flying as he yanked it back. Aw, shit, another fucking scar. Or five. Something like that. He took the cage in his other and and whipped it around to try and hit the bird as it squealed in his face. “Nothing wrong, huh?” Kaden yelled as he ducked to avoid another attack, this time with the beak aimed directly at his eyes. When he came there, he had no plans to pull out his knife on the fucking bird in front of Nate but that ship had fucking sailed and reached back for his weapon as blood dripped down to his palm, coating the handle. “This.” He swung out at the bird, blade trying to strike at flesh and not just feathers. “Is why.” The feathers whacked him in the face. “These fucking birds.” Talons by his back, he ducked rolled. “Are illegal!”

Nate flitted around the room, his hands on his head. What the heck was he supposed to do?? Alea had never acted like this before, but she clearly hated this guy. And who wouldn’t?! Before he knew it, Kaden had a flipping knife in his hand and was slashing wildly at his pet. “STOP! Stop what are you doing!!” Nate dropped to the floor as Alea dove over him, narrowly avoiding Kaden’s blade, screaming all the while. “Monster! Monster!!” Tears began to form in the man’s eyes as he watched the scene unfold. Today was supposed to be a relaxing one! Not filled with some asshole trying to kill his pet!

The edge of the knife only struck a small bit of the bird’s flesh but a squeal rang out through the apartment. “It’s attacking me!” Kaden yelled out. And the violence only encouraged the aravo to  strike out at him again. The beak grabbed at his ear and pulled. Kaden screamed out in pain and rammed his knife into the bird and it let go. Putain de merde, that hurt. “Either control your fucking mon-- BIRD or I have to put it down!” He had no hope that Nate would calm this bird down, but in the off chance he could, he’d like to avoid another puncture to his ear. “Stop what are you doing!” The bird’s voice was a mirror of Nate’s for that one moment. Shit. That wasn’t good. Kaden ducked again as the talons swooped towards his back. “Stop your bird or I’ll have to! If you can even talk anymore!”

Nate’s heart was racing, grief and panic washing over him in waves. What the heck was he supposed to do?? He wasn’t cut out for this! He had no idea how to calm Alea down, she’d never acted like this before! “B-because- y-y-y-ou attacked her!!!” Wildly, Nate threw himself around the room after the bird, attempting to grab her without getting himself slashed by her talons. Every swipe she took, however, seemed meticulously calculated so that she only ever nicked Kaden. In a desperate attempt to save his bird’s life, he ran to the couch, grabbing the blanket so that it might be a shield of sorts. He’d seen people on Animal Planet do this kind of thing when they captured thrashing, dangerous animals. “Stop what are you doing!” Nate froze, blanket in hand, at the sound of his own voice. It was eerily similar to his own in a way he hadn’t heard before. “Y-you can’t k-k-kill her!!” He begged, his feet firmly planted in place.

Kaden was thrilled to see that Nate was frozen in place as the bird’s talons dug into his back, ripping through Kaden’s shirt and down into his flesh. He screamed in pain as he tried to duck and roll away, but the damage was already done. Kaden whipped around and yanked at one of the wings, hoping to get more than a fist full of feathers but such was his luck at the moment. Another duck from the claws and this time, when he reached out, he got a sizable piece of the wing, the limb this time. He pulled it down out of the air and dragged it towards him, knife raised and ready to thrust down into the heart. But before he could do that, Kaden caught a glimpse of the guy’s face. Fucking hell. Bleeding goddamn hearts were getting to him. He couldn't do it in front of Nate, not looking like that. His grip pinched the wing, hard, keeping the writhing bird in place and he grabbed the blanket with his free hand to wrap the bird in. “Look, I don’t know how much you know. But this bird is stealing your voice. And it may have stolen others.” The beast was scrambling and squawking under the blanket as Kaden tried to wrap it tightly closed. “The only way to give them back is by killing it. Do you understand?” He tried to keep calm and look Nate in the eye, but he knew there was no way this was sinking in. Not now.

Nate didn’t move when Kaden snatched the blanket out of his hand. His heart sunk as he watched the man tackle his bird, his closest friend and confidante for the past few months, preparing not only to take her away, but apparently to end her life all together. Even if she was illegal, Alea didn’t deserve that. Even if she was- stealing his voice? What was this, a Disney cartoon? Nate wasn’t some animated princess and Kaden certainly wasn’t his prince charming. Since when did prince charming murder your pet in front of you?? Maybe he was taking the metaphor too far… “N-no,” he croaked, his voice still struggled against his body to be heard. But that was because he was distraught, not because his Alea was stealing his words! That would be insane! “That- it’s- not p-possible!”

The bag flew a few feet in the air as the bird inside tried to fight its way out. Kaden would have to make a decision fast. There was no way he could keep the bird trapped in there for too long. Those claws and that beak would poke its way through soon enough. “Do you even hear yourself?” he said, rolling his eyes. ”Your voice is cracking every time you ta--” Kaden didn’t get a chance to finish when a voice that sounded just like Nate’s came from the bag. “His voice is fine.” Fucking aravos. Kaden exchanged a glance with the other man, raising a brow and hoping maybe, just maybe, his point was proven. “You teach her all that? Or did she just learn that all on her own? She’s not even repeating anything you said.” Come. On. “I don’t have to do it here, just let me take her. She’ll leave you once she has your voice and you'll never see her again and you won’t be able to get it back.

Nate sank down onto his couch, his arms falling down in front of him. Crazier things had happened to the man than a bird who could steal voices. But he knew Alea, she was sweet and smart and the best pet he could have asked for...right? But the more she thrashed around in the makeshift bag, spitting out phrases in his own voice, only filled with a venom he could never muster. Hadn’t he lost enough? Somehow, he knew Kaden was right, but for the life of him he didn’t want to give the man the satisfaction. Nate felt his heart breaking with every squawk, but he nodded slowly, consenting for Kaden to do whatever he needed to do. It wasn’t like Nate was in the position to fight him, he knew that was a battle he couldn’t win. “Just...quick, please? F-for her?”

If Kaden had a free hand to rub his face with, he would. This was exhausting. Why was a perfectly routine hunting call so fucking exhausting? He knew. Looking at Nate, he knew. Fuck, when did his heart start bleeding over bullshit like this? “I’ll take her outside, alright? If you want.” It felt like the least he could do. This wasn’t like being there when putting down a dog. This wasn’t the pet and the deep bond that this guy clearly wanted from an animal. Kaden hated how much he could relate. “Look, I know it’s not the same. It’s not. But if you want, I’ll waive the adoption fee at the shelter for you. Any animal. There’s plenty. Who don’t take voices.” And by waived he meant he’d just pay it for him. It still felt cheap and hollow. Animals couldn’t be replaced. Monsters should never be kept as pets and it was an unfortunate situation, but the sentiment remained.

Nate looked up at the man who was about to murder his pet through tear brimmed eyes. He didn’t like this man before, and today was doing no favors for their relationship, but he could see that Kaden at least was trying to make this easier. A little. It was a far cry from just not killing his pet, but Nate didn’t see how he’d be able to change the animal control officer’s mind. Especially after Alea proved rather...terrifyingly vicious. Tears began to spill over onto his cheeks and Nate dropped his head into his hands. “J-just go. P-please.” All he wanted was this nightmare of a day to be over so he could wallow in the loss of his pet alone.

Kaden gave a small nod and awkwardly tried to drag the blanket with the bird as well as the cage he brought with him. It would be great if it were quieter or more graceful but it was the best he could do. Once he was outside, he took the knife and dug it into the bird’s heart. Or where he hoped it was. The struggle ended and Kaden watched as the chet fell and air released from the lungs. The sounds of a handful of voices floated up to the air and then dispersed in all directions. One small breath of voice floated to the door he’d just left. Even if the man inside didn’t appreciate anything he’d just done, Kaden knew something ended well at least. Not much, but it would have to be enough.

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

New Beginnings (Part 9~ Last Part)

*Not My Gif*

~New Beginnings Master~

Post Date: 1-2-20

Paring: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word Count: 2K

~Master~

~Series Master~

It was the middle of the night when you tugged on your denim jacket, walking down the streets of New York with crisp air making your cheeks blush. A buzzing in your pocket caught your attention as you pulled out your phone, smiling at the goofy picture of Peter that popped up.

You swiped to answer the call and put your phone to your ear. “Hey Pete.”

“Hey. Where are you?” You looked around knowing Peter wouldn’t approve of this as you focused back on the phone.

“Um, I’m spending the night at MJ’s.” You lied as Peter sighed into the phone. “Peter? What’s wrong?”

“J. Jonah Jameson keeps calling about an interview.” You stopped walking, the grip on your phone tightened and your jaw locked momentarily.

“That man needs to get a life.” Peter agreed with you before you started moving again. “After my dad died, he kept trying to get me to let him have an interview about taking over Stark industries. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and made up his own story about me freaking out on him.”

On the other line, Peter nodded his head. “I remember that story, Ned showed it to me.”

“I just wish he’d leave you alone after everything. I mean, first he tells the world you’re Spider-Man and then he tries to get the first interview. It’s awful.” Your phone beeped in your ear, letting you know it was time to hurry up your conversation. “Hey Peter, MJ and I are gonna watch a movie. Talk later?”

“Yeah. And Y/N?” You hummed back a yeah as you listened to Peter take a deep breath, undoubtedly smiling. “I love you.”

You joined his smile, your cheeks hurting from the stretch as you whispered back. “I love you too.”

You hung up first, checking your texts before movement in the corner of your eye caught your attention.

“I think we need to talk.” You said into the darkness as you put your phone in your pocket and crossed your arms. There was nothing but silence in the air as two figures stepped out of the alleyway, now barely lit by the flickering of the streetlamps next to you.

“Let’s talk.”

---

 You took a deep breath, peaking through the curtain at the reporters talking to camera men or getting their things sorted out. It was your first press conference since your dad and you were one who called it. Peter stood next to you, looking over your shoulder as you turned around.

“Peter, I don’t know if I can do this. This is my dad’s thing, not mine.” You shook your head, letting your eyes close as Peter wrapped his arms around you.

“Hey, you’ll be alright! You’ll be alright. I’ll be right back here watching and you’ll do great.” He tried to comfort you, but you just grabbed his hand.

“You’re going out there with me.” He just stared at you, tipping his head to his side as you grinned.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Trust me?” Peter hesitated as he glanced to the crowd again but when his eyes fell on you again he nodded, trusting you with everything. “Ok, then let’s go.” You took one last shaky breath before pushing the curtain away, feeling the lights of cameras capturing yours and Peters actions. Peters eyes were locked on you, too scared to look anywhere but at you as you stepped up to the podium. You found Pepper and Morgan sitting in the front row as they gave you a thumbs up, making you relax slightly. The crowd quieted down, microphones and cameras preparing to catch every single word.

“I would like to address the rumors surrounding Quentin Beck and Spider-Man’s identity. The videos are fake. The voice recording you heard were made prior to the attack in London. Quentin Beck’s attack. He used the alias Mysterio to deceive me as well as our countries top protectors.” You began as Peter’s eyes widened. You knew lying was risky but you need to make things better.

“Quentin Beck is no one but an old Stark Industries employee fired prior to Mr. Parker’s internship. We believe that Beck was taking revenge on my father’s legacy by attempting to unmask Spider-Man. We believe that he had chosen Mr. Parker based on his new position in my fathers- my company“, whispers and camera flashes spurred across the crowd as you looked to Pepper and Morgan, both beaming at you, “-and his position in my life.” Without much thinking you grabbed onto Peter’s hand, receiving a squeeze from him as he stepped closer. You looked up to him, a smile turning up both your lips before looking back down at your paper and ignoring the bright flashing.

“Mr. Parker on the other hand is no one but a normal high schooler just trying to make it.” You took a steady breath before looking up into the sky, sighing with relief at what you saw. “And as I’m sure everyone can attest, cannot possibly be in two places at once. One of which is by my side and the other is flying above you all right now.”

Everyone gasped, turning towards the flying figure in the sun as they squinted their eyes, trying to get the best photo of Spider-Man. When Spider-Man landed right next to you, you gave him a high five, cameras flashing like crazy as Peter stood next to you freaking out.

“Thank you, no questions.” You spoke into the microphone as the final pictures of the three of you were taken and Spider-Man flew off in the sky once again and Peter and you made your exit off stage.

“That was amazing!” Peter beamed as you both walked down the stairs. As soon as your foot hit the last step, Peter grabbed you by the waist and spun you in the air. You let out a swarm of giggles as you grabbed onto his shoulders, enjoying the love display. Peter put you down and his hand trailed up to your chin, pulling it up for you to look at him. “You’re amazing.” He whispered as you blushed but chose not to hide it and risk losing the sight of Peter’s eyes.

“I try.” You joked before he swept you into a kiss. Happy and the rest of the remaining avengers all filed into the room, a few of them aweing at the sight while Sam started mocking you, Bucky joining in until you glared at them. “Grow up guys.” You told them, sticking your tongue out.

“Alright, Alright.” Sam said putting his hands in the air. “But seriously Y/N, you did good.”

“You were amazing girl.” Wanda pulled you into a bone crushing hug as you laughed, hugging her back. The team all agreed with each other that you had done good, sending away any of the nerves you had about the media believing.

Your phone buzzed as you held up a finger to them all, pulling it out and opening up the news. “Peter. Look.” You clicked on the newest link, one written by J. Jonah Jameson himself with a picture of Peter and Spider-Man up top.

“That was fast.” His voice wavered as you whispered into your ear. You nodded as your eyes darted across the headline.

Spider-Man identity confirmed not Midtown Student, Peter Parker

“We did it.” You mumbled in disbelief as you scrolled through the article. Peter read over your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your waist and every time he read something relieving, he pulled you closer and buried his nose in your hair.

“No Y/N. You did it.” He corrected as you smiled, looking into his chocolate brown eyes over your shoulder. He pressed a quick kiss to your lips as you smiled into it, only pulling away when you heard your name being shouted.

Morgan came running into the room, Pepper following closely behind as you swung Morgan into your arms.

“You were so good!” Morgan cooed as she wrapped her arms around your neck to hug you. You hugged your little sister, feeling Peter’s hand on your back when you picked her up and held her in your arms.

“Thanks Mo. I’m glad you liked it.” Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead she turned to Peter, her mouth dropping open.

“Peter! How were you in two places at once?!” Morgan asked as the room quieted down. Realization crossing everyone’s faces, even your boyfriends, as you smirked.

Bucky just took a step forward, turning towards the team before looking at the two teenagers in front of him, one who look almost as lost as he did and who with a satisfied smirk on her lips. “Yeah Spidey, how were you in two places?” Peter just raised his brow before crossing his arms and looking at you.

You shrugged, licking your lips. “Well…”

---

You couldn’t help but laugh at yourself and the scene in front of you.

Nick Fury and Maria Hill.

“You can change back now.” You told them as Fury’s head dropped in a smirk. Maria just looked at him, eyes wide as you came closer.

“He told me you’d figure it out.” Fury said as you shrugged, pulling your arms closer to your body.

“You’re not the best actors in the world.” You watched as the faces you knew to be Nick and Maria changed to reveal the faces of a pair of Skrulls, Talos and Soren. Smiling you stretched your hand to them. “I’m Y/N. Nice to... officially meet you.”

“So, how did you figure it out?” Soren asked you after shaking your hand, eying you up and down.

“Maria always answers my calls. And Fury would’ve had my ass for storming out of the base the way I did after meeting Mysterio. Figuring you guys were, well you guys, that took some work.” Soren and Talos shared impressed looks. Both a little embarrassed of their mistakes but you let them know they were still pretty good actors, just not for you.

“So why did you call us here Y/N?” Talos asked as he changed back into Fury in case someone saw a pair of aliens on the streets of Queens.

“I need a favor.”

---

“I just reminded Talos that it was his fault your identity was revealed and he agreed to help out.”

No one knew what to say. You figured this all out by yourself.

You did that.

You looked around at the shocked faces, everyone’s jaw dropped open as they stared at you. “You’re amazing.” Peter said as you turned to him, grabbing his hand.

“You already said that.” He just shook his head, telling you he didn’t care as he pulled you in for another kiss. You let out a giggle before pulling away and looking at your family.

“Your dad would’ve been proud of you.” Pepper told you, squeezing your outstretched hand. Your head dropped only slightly but you know she was right.

“Thank you, Pep.”

Happy asked the question on everyone’s mind. “So, now what?”

You hadn’t really thought about that. What was next for you? You took over your father’s company from Pepper, you got the guy you’d been in love with for years, you convinced the world Spider-Man was someone else, you figured out that S.H.I.E.L.D’s most trusted people weren’t themselves. But what now?

You looked down at your hands, fidgeting with your blouse as you cleared your throat. “I think- I think, if you all don’t mind, I think I want to un-retire.” You heard Peter’s faint gasp behind you as you turned to look at him with a small smile. “Turns out the world wasn’t done needing heroes.” Happy chuckled, sending you a wink.

“We’d love to have you back Y/N.” The team agreed, everyone coming in for a hug and when it was done Peter grabbed your arm, pulling you away from the group.

“Wanna go for a ride?” Peter whispered as you turned towards everyone, each of them engaged in their own conversation as you nodded. The two of you snuck away, heading out to the roof as Peter slipped on his Spider suit. “Ready?” he asked as you wrapped your arms around his neck before your legs made their way around his waist. He held you closer to him, pulling up his mask to give you a quick kiss.

You rested your head on his shoulder, looking out into the city as you smiled. “Ready.”

And the two of you were off.

A/N: It’s over! It feels weird ending this series, when I started I honestly had no idea where I wanted to go with this, so to have this ending it’s truly luck. I hope you guys like my ending with this and aren’t mad at it!

Please tell me what you thought of this series!

***Reblogging with NB tags***

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[eerythingisshaka]

I made this post on Monday, and just now got around to edit and post

I’m basically going through the whole plot of Endgame and how I felt, I just had to hammer it out.   If you haven’t seen it yet, please come back when you have! First things first, I did not cry!  I feel like I’m in the minority, and I swear I am a devoted MCU fan and love Tony and Cap and them, but I did not cry and I’m so disappointed with myself!  I got more emotional thinking about it in the days leading to the premiere than I did while viewing.  I think it was too entertaining for me to find it sad?  Not like movies I cry at aren’t entertaining but the action and substance was making my nerd heart pitter patter so much, I was over the moon and couldn’t come down.  I will say though, ever since watching Endgame, every past Marvel movie makes me somewhat emotional.  This whole thing is like a high school graduation, like I’m never gonna see my friends together again like this, an era is over!  All I have are memories, aaaaggghhhh!

That being said. the movie grips me from the beginning with the song Dear Mr. Fantasy by Traffic.  Marvel has some pretty good picks for songs to set the tone for their movies, to this day this song kinda pulls at my heart strings because of its message 

 Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune

Something to make us all happy

Do anything, take us out of this gloom

So of course, we all felt this way with the ending of Infinity War, having so many of our faves being sacrificed to dust for Thanos’ plan of rectifying what he saw as the decrepit state of the universe.  Walking away from part one with the villain winning was a fresh slap to my face and a year of agony to find out how the heroes pull this off in the end.  Take us out of our gloom Marvel! 

And the characters must feel the same, as the film opens with Clint and his daughter doing some archery in their yard as a very American lunch of mayo and mustard hot dogs are being served.  As his daughter Lilah is putting things away, Clint calls out to her only to see dust and turns again to his family with the same result.  So much for freedom from our gloom, right?  In case you somehow forgot, this little scene gives us a friendly reminder of what we were left with in 2018.  If that’s not enough, Nebula and Tony playing the little hand goal, paper flick game that is just darling to witness.  Nebula plays like a rehabilitated puppy still unsure about being around humans as Tony instructs her like a child on every development of the game.  Her little perk up when he announces her win is so cute as they shake hands, finally sealing her character development from ruthless, blood-thirsty appeaser of a sadistic father, to a more stoic, regretful soft spoken but hoarse matured version of herself.  All the while, Tony is beginning to starve from being malnourished and depleting oxygen.  Nebula sets him in a piloting chair as he drifts off, losing consciousness until the homie we have all assumed would be coming appears as a glow in his irises, Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel.  

Carol flies the ship back to Tony’s compound where Cap, Rhodey, Natasha, and Pepper wait for him to descend.  We get a moment with him and Cap that is sweet as Cap walks him down, Tony tells him he lost Peter Parker, an obviously huge loss for this to be the first thing he mentions.  The warmth is lost quickly though as the next step of Tony’s grief comes afoot: anger and finger pointing.  Tony, on an IV and all, is relentless as he festers in bitterness while lashing out at Cap and company that the fight was lost and even encouraged by Cap because they were together.  This optimism is obviously not enough for Tony, who grows weary of Cap’s positivity, opting that he finish the work alone or that Danvers takes on the task herself before collapsing from exhaustion.

Carol, Thor and the gang have a slight dick measuring contest on kicking Thanos’ ass once and for all before Nebula offers to take them straight to him.  And where is he?  Why on a farm on a planet in the galaxy, nursing his wounds from the snap.   His entire right side is burned to a crisp due to the snap, and at the same time has obliterated the stones much to their dismay.  Thor wastes no time in chopping off Thanos’ head, a little too late but satisfying none the less.  However, in the end, the stones are nowhere to be found, the last person to have them is dead, and no one from the snaps is back yet.  Cue music!

So, the gloom we are supposed to be rescued from, when does that start right?  Not for another five years according to a time lapse card.  Our heroes have no means of figuring out the solution to the snap; Cap forms a support group for survivor’s, Natasha has grown out her blonde hair and is constantly checking in on happenings around the world, and universe since the snap, jumping at even the mention of an earthquake.  Rhodey briefs her on a terrible killing spree of gang members that appear to have a style that is well known to them as Clint Barton’s aka Hawkeye.  Despite Rhodey’s hesitance Natasha insists he keeps an eye on him, inferring that she may track him down eventually.  (Quick side note here, something to be seen as a possible plot flaw:  Hawkeye’s bloodlust and disregard for lives after losing his whole family in the snap isn’t dug into very deeply after this.  Rhodey said it’s so bad he didn’t even wanna find him!  But there wasn’t any in fighting or push back after that between them.  He has one instance of almost interacting with his family on a test run for time travel which is against the rules, but other than that he isn’t killing people recklessly or even triggered to tears or drinking incessantly over his loss.  But more on Thor in a minute). 

If it hadn’t been for that rat running across the panel in Scott Lang’s van to activate his return from the Quantum realm who knows how long, if ever, would they figure out the means of traveling back to get the stones.  I was so glad I watched Antman and Wasp right before seeing Endgame, so I knew the van, Cassie, and a little bit about the Quantum Realm.  I’m actually upset that I didn’t realize the realm could be used for their benefit because I was always betting on the Time Stone being the corrector in all this, but anyway.  Scott returns highly confused as he realizes the state of the world since his entrapment in the realm.  Seeing his baby girl become a young lady was a powerful scene to witness, and had my heart dent a little bit, but I held it together.  Soon after that, Scott makes his way to find Cap and Natasha, explaining how 5 years was really five hours for him, so time is different in the realm which could possibly mean something for them getting the dusted back.  At one point in the movie, I’m blanking on which comes first but for now I’ll dive into this bit, we are reintroduced to Bruce Banner as Hulk…as one person.  I completely forgot that we didn’t see Bruce in trailers, which is for this reason.  Comic book followers would know, but there is a iteration of Bruce Banner becoming Professor Hulk, so he functions as his normal scientist self, while also being a big green being.  Oddly enough, it does not take long for me to grow accustomed to The Bruce Hulk hybrid, he is hilarious and sweet and more confident even then he was as a regular man despite his appearance.  He has fans, people love him and this is a far cry from when we are introduced to him in the original Avengers as Nat tracks him down somewhere in Southeast Asia, a nervous wreck loner who is quick to anger.  I could see this Hulk being fanfic fodder, not my cup of tea, but he was just that damn appealing, I could see it.

But even with Bruce’s brain, time travel isn’t exactly hammered down as an absolute possibility so they reach out to another source on the matter.  Which brings me to my love/hate relationship with Tony.  I ADORE that he finally had a baby with Pepper, Morgan “Cussin Queen” Stark.  Tony is living his best life in the natural air in his log cabin, as off grid as he possibly can be before Black Widow, Cap, and Lang pull up to question the possibilities ahead of them.  The strength of his cold shoulder gave me an insatiable chill down my spine.  Tony is the King of Petty, but rarely passive so I was surprised by that moment of mean girl attitude from him.  But luckily he served up something to drink (I’m thinking it’s iced coffee or chocolate milk.  I’m still confused by what that held.)  Tony basically tells them they are crazy and hoping for nothing, because he’s good where he is.  He has his girls and no stress which is honestly what the Avengers always seem to guarantee for him since joining the group with SHIELD under Nick Fury’s insistence years ago.  I do wish I could remember the theories and scientific laws he said would be fucked up with their plan, just to see if they are real ones but also I love when Tony just spouts his knowledge like it’s IKEA instructions.  He makes it seem so simple until you have to break it down, and up until this point Scott seemed like the smartest one on the team but really Tony could’ve been figured this out if he wasn’t so granola now, which is great and happy for him, but he really did give up very quickly.  Once again, probably good reason, self-care.  But still.

Gotta say, I love a selfish Tony though.  Quick shoutout to Robert Downey Jr. in showing his chops by bringing the emotional fortitude to this Disney movie.  The man has been THROUGH IT and has had enough.  Tony only has so much optimism in him that the cheerleading squad can provide before his is completely done and baby was DONE.

But without Tony’s help they test run moving through the quantum realm only to discover what Tony says later, that time kept moving though Scott instead of him moving through time, making him a baby, and old man, a kid again, and back to an adult.  But with a fancy time GPS Tony doctor’s up on the fly after discovering that the group isn’t crazy about the time travel being an option, they are good to go like it’s day one!  (Another side note to Paul Rudd aka Scott Lang giving us much needed comic relief.  I have never laughed so hard at my precious baby trying to eat a taco in my life. Also, Cap’s yeehaw attire in this scene?  The checkered white shirt with his dark jeans pulled up?  Truly save the horse and ride the cowboy instead man.)  

Now at this point we have to check in on Thor, our sweet pirate angel.  How has he fared?  Him, Valkyrie, and the surviving Asgardians establish their own town  on Earth.  Thor and Rocket go to find him, with a preview from Valkyrie of what Thor’s mental state is by the piles of beer kegs outside.  So, when they enter his home, giving a wave to Korg and Miek playing video games on the couch, Thor tumbles out behind Thor and Rocket reaching for another cold on, camera to his back.  By now we can see his hair is overgrown and greasy, and his midsection has a new pair of love handles we aren’t used to seeing on our svelte, brutish god of thunder.  So when he turns around, audience erupts in the theaters, as do I, to see him now looking like a melted ice cream cone with a beer belly that somehow still has some toned abs on top if you look closely, paired with some man titties to complete all billowing over his pajama pants to complete his depression ensemble.  This was more shocking to me than the Hulk/Banner hybrid reveal.  We hadn’t seen an image of Thor outside of him giving Carol Danvers the Stormbreaker scare test in the previews, so thanks for another surprise.  Despite his crumbling emotional stability at even the mention of Thanos’ name (tip of the hat to Chris Hemsworth for making my heartache with every crack in his voice), I have to get on my soapbox and say Thor’s body is beautiful!  He is a supreme King, deliciously made who can still smash any pair of cheeks to ash and dust with the power Mjolnir in each thrust quicker than any counterfeit gauntlet.  Just watch him later on, you’ll see!  I’d have that belly slapping on top of me in a quantum realm millisecond after he takes a shower and attends therapy.  A lil pudge ain’t killed no part of his power, whew.  Don’t make me shout.

Back to plot, with the promise of beer, Thor the Dude tags along to start the plan of going back to retrieve infinity stones.  After a synopsis of each one and where they were located, the crew drums up the plan to retrieve each stone from the past, bring them back to the future to put into a new gauntlet  and snap the other half of life’s creatures back.  This part of the movie is so stellar because if you have watched past Marvel movies (the first Avengers, Gaurdians of the Galaxy, Captain America First Avenger, and Thor Dark World) you will recognize the scenes that are featured with their past selves going through their past-current scenes.  Natasha and Clint go to Vormir for the Soul stone, which I am surprised Nebula did not warn them that someone would have to die to retrieve it.  What if two characters that didn’t love each other went for the Soul stone, is it over and done?  But luckily, or unluckily, Clint and Natasha are able to get the stone with a sacrifice of Natasha’s life (who honestly sacrificed herself but it counted.  And I need so much more clarity on the specs of the soul stone, it ain’t even funny.  Will we ever see what the realm Gamora and Black Widow are in is like?)  These two characters have been last on my list always so the scene was crazy watching them battle back and forth for a chance at ending their lives but the end result didn’t hit my heart but still great.  I kinda would’ve wished little Gamora was there again to talk to us.  

Then Hulk has to go see Ancient One to retrieve the time stone, which she will not relinquish until Hulk says that Strange gave it up willingly.  On his word alone, she gives it to him, sensing the imminent danger that could come that is worse than the alternate reality she faces for not having the time stone with her.  Then Rhodey and Nebula go to Morag for the Power Stone.  So this is the first sign of overall trouble in their plan because apparently having two Nebula’s mix memory frequencies that reveal the whole entire plan to Thanos.  I thought for sure at some point that Nebula’s eye was gonna have to be dug out to ensure the completion of the mission but it winds up that Nebula and Gamora take her hostage before past Nebula takes current Nebula’s place with the crew going back with their stones, none the wiser.  Not even Rhodey gives her a check in like “why did you not come back with me when I jetted back to the future?  what happened?”  Nothing!  The death of Natasha kind of takes precedent over anything else and leave Nebula to finish off bringing Thanos back with her to wreak havoc.  

Lastly, Cap, Tony, and Scott are in New York circa Avengers number 1, fighting the space aliens and keeping Loki from the tesseract.  And I am not exaggerating when I say this part of movie is possibly the greatest cinematic feature I have ever seen, or will ever see my natural life.  You have Tony, creeping in the shadows to get Antman ready to help retrieve the tesseract, all the while admiring Cap’s ass!  He does it, critiquing that his outfit does nothing for his ass, when we all know nothing holds back them cheeks from making an appearance.  Scott, ever the voice of standom, downplays Tony’s critique and coins his rear end as “America’s Ass”.  I EXPLODED.  Ever since Captain America: the First Avenger, I have pined, no, thirsted, nay, LUSTED for that man in Marvel cinema.  He has the BAWDY to be Cap, and never slacks.  I have also always been a big fan of Tony and Cap having a torrid love affair that Marvel refused to implement but teases anytime they stare deeply into each other’s eyes or argue feistily until they are nose to nose, just get a room you two!  Ten points to Gryffindor for feeding the fans what they want!

So, New York is the only place that doesn’t go smoothly, as Cap retrieves the scepter containing the Mind Stone after a quick “Hail Hydra” to throw off the double agent SHIELD opponents from Winter Soldier.  All this time, Tony and Scott lose the tesseract in a freak incident that causes the case to fall into Loki’s vicinity, who picks up the cube and disappears to God knows where.  And it is never figured out where past Loki goes, or what timeline he creates for himself now that he has the tesseract at his disposal with no one to oppose him.  That is another thing I would love to know, all these alternate realities that have been constructed due to them tinkering with time, what happens?  What damage is done to the Ancient One without time?  What does Loki do with space?  How is Jane and Asgard without the reality stone ravaging her?  (Rocket got it btw as Thor got caught up talking to his mother, which was a very sweet scene and really amplified her character for me to love her more than I already had).  But at least Cap got the scepter until he is met with his past Cap, leading to my most favorite fight scene in the MCU.  Something about those two classic suits running at each other with the cacophony of the shields, and current Cap saying some choice expletives now and getting tired of the bullshit while past Cap still has all that giddy up and pure heart and “I can do this all day” attitude is an exceptional treat to be had.  I love Cap’s development, as much as he has stayed the same, he has changed, grown more into his age even, getting weary with the world but never losing his positive outlook, just shifting his focus gradually.  But to correct the tesseract blunder, Tony and Cap go back to 1970 to get the original tesseract from SHIELD in its infancy.  Both Tony and Cap have a soft moment.  Tony see’s his father who talks to him about his expecting wife (aka baby Tony) and Cap sees Peggy again in her youthful glory, panging our heartstrings.  But in the end, the supplies are collected and they move on.

So after they get the stones, they construct the gauntlet out of Tony’s suit Iron man material and it is decided that Hulk must do the snap since gamma radiation is part of the stones and so is he. It is not a simple easy thing as he writhes in pain and burns under the pressure of power but does the snap anyway and successfully brings back half the world.  This win is shortlived once Thanos bombards the compound and sends Nebula off to retrieve the stones.  This is the start of the longest game of flag football/hot potato/rugby adjacent.  Hawkeye has the gauntlet at first as everyone tries to pull themselves from the rubble (side note:  seeing Rocket so distressed shook me.  He is usually so cool and wily, getting out of so much bullshit that his helplessness when he couldn’t breathe almost sent me over).

So since they retrieved the stones, it’s not like they change their past, just create alternate realities.  Once they return them, things go back to normal again.  So Hulk uses the gauntlet to bring back the rest of the population again, we just don’t see them yet until later.  Past Nebula gets killed by current Nebula after Gamora helps current Nebula out to stop Thanos because as we know from Infinity War, Gamora never wanted Thanos to find them all.  Thor, Cap, and Tony all team up to spar with Thanos who was waiting patiently for the gauntlet to be brought to him.  Much to my dismay, the fight is very even, no side truly overpowers the other.  Thor really wants to put in work, but can’t quite get through until Cap does what I have been waiting for since Ultron: HE PICKS UP MJOLNIR!  (which Thor took back from Asgard in his time travel).  Wheew, I coulda passed out when I saw Cap wielding that thing like it’s his the star spangled banner itself, sending lightning down on Thanos, busting him upside his head and all!  I was spent and feeling aftershocks until Thanos gets the upperhand again and bombards his shield with that weak ass helicopter blade sword thing.  It breaks the shield up!  Which is made of vibranium!  THE STRONGEST METAL IN THE UNIVERSE!  This how I know Russo’s were just grasping at straws; the only thing I can say is since Tony made him that one after the snap, he probably used bootleg vibranium because obviously nobody called Wakanda for input on a damn thing to make this mission happen which is a rant I can say on a completely separate post.  Sure, take T’Challa and Shuri in the snap, it’s not like the whole country isn’t composed of melanated geniuses that could give y’all a lesson on quantum physics that would make your central nervous system dry out.  No, don’t call Wakanda to make vibranium anything for y’all to help in the fight, it’s cool cuz y’all didn’t try and clean up anything after shit hit the fan!  I wanted a 10 minute Wakanda clean up scene: I got DUST.  The underutilization of such a great people while at the same time using them frivilously is a *blink blink* mindfuck.  But I digress again!

Once Cap seems to be against the wall, he tightens his shield band around his arm and says slap me bitch.  But before it continues,  Sam gives him a quick “on your left” signaling the return of everyone, with first none other than our Wakandan royalty: T’Challa, Okoye, and Shuri.  Dr. Strange’s portals open up as populations come to join the fight from Gaurdians and Asgard, Wakanda and other Marvel movies.  The fight scene that begins I can’t wait to own at home becuase I know I have to pause and slow motion to capture everything.  Someone said Howard the Duck is in the fight which I HAVE to see. Can you imagine getting your ass impaled by a cartoon space duck? 

The game of keep the gauntlet from Thanos continues as Spiderman, T’Challa, and others all have a go at running the guantlet away from Thanos.  This is a part that I kind of have to think to remember.  I know that Antman and Wasp had to spark up the quantum realm van and I think the plan was to send the gauntlet into it, but I’m not sure.  Eventually Tony is alerted by Strange that the one in 14 million chance at winning is upon them and Tony goes ham to get the gauntlet from Thanos, who nearly succeeds but Tony yeets them off the glove and onto his suit, proclaiming himself as Iron Man one last time before snapping the bad half of the population into obliteration.  All the bad aliens and Thanos dust away, leaving the original population the watch them float away.  However Tony’s sacrifice is his life as he dies after goodbyes from Peter, Pepper and Rhodey.  

The funeral occurs with everyone there, even the kid from Iron Man 3.  This is a really emotional scene, especially seeing Tony left a last message in case of his demise, ending it with telling Morgan “I Said What I Said” Stark that he loves her 3000.  Once again, I almost got choked up there, but it just wouldn’t happen. One thing that took me out were Wakanda’s outfits at the funeral.  All black everything, but the fit and the make of Okoye and Shuri’s dresses?  With the gold accessories????  I can’t mourn when all that beauty is in my face!

And in the end, Cap goes back in time to send the stones back to where they belong but stays in the past to reunite with Peggy, finally bust her open and returns as an old man to give his shield to Falcon and that is it!

I almost got choked up just now thinking about that last scene but I still didn’t cry.  A tear came down when the end credits showed the actors pictures and their signatures of the original Avengers though.  There will never be a better Cap or Iron Man bruh, taking that to my grave.

 I’ve been in this MCU life for just about the whole length of it; watching these amazing superhero action flicks for the fun of it before recognizing the structure of each film forming towards an ending so grand. “You see where you’re going? Now let’s focus on how you get there.” This is a statement that is about to be my mantra for life! This is a huge project for a studio to put together properly, having all of our superheroes in one place, sewn together with the journey of the infinity stones to take out the big purple meanie Thanos who is hellbent on controlling the universe the easy way (50% of all living creatures annihilated) or the hard way (100% gone, starting from scratch).

But Marvel has given me so much great entertainment to look forward to.  Ever since I graduated high school, it’s been the May or November of each year, what’s Marvel putting out next? And it’s gonna be tough not expecting an Avengers film anymore, but I’ll be here for the new build up of superheroes, supporting Black Panther still of course as well.  I will miss the Cap thirst, wardrobe really did their part in this one with the Black sweater, the grey Henley, the yeehaw outfit previously mentioned and EVERY CAP UNIFORM HE HAS WORN!  I love this fucking fandom.  

And now I just wonder where past Gamora went, because she came to the present and “present” Gamora died at Vormir so we have a Gamora alive now but she went MIA, or did she get snapped back when Tony snapped all the henchmen back?  Thor at the end joins the GOTG  or Asgardians of the Galaxy, so I can’t wait to see how they fair in I assume GOTG 3.  How will Falcon do as the new Cap?  What does Bucky do now??  He was the original ride or die for Cap until he became Winter Soldier, but Cap was very forgiving of him in all that.  Yet, his closure seems open for anything, he got no special stuff in the end so maybe more for him?  How is Spiderman and the whole teenage snap population going back to school when it is five years in the future but they are the same age?  Where did Valkyrie keep her Pegasus this entire time?  When Cap went back to Vormir, what was his reunion with Red Skull like?  And what did Thanos do with the stones before they were destroyed?  They said he used them again and that’s how they found him at the beginning but on what? Answer these questions for me please!  

If you made it this far, I love ya 3000 and I owe you cheeseburgers (oh God TONY!!!)

[skyefullofdaisies]

Endgame review(ish) LOTS OF SPOILERS

I saw it 2 days ago but needed some time to wrap my head around this one. I have never described a movie as a masterpiece before but this definitely hits all my boxes.

What I liked/loved:

•Watching Thanos die twice in one movie was an honor and a damned privilege.

•Tony and Nebula having a friendship & Carol rescuing them

•Pepperony’s reunion ❤️

•After we jumped ahead 5 years and Scott gets reunited with teenage Cassie. That made me tear up. If they ever do another Ant Man movie it’ll be great to see Cassie old enough to have a bigger role

•Seeing Nat crying and showcasing how much Steve and her have such a great relationship plus Carol’s new bad ass ‘do.

•SEEING PEPPERONY’S NEW LIFE! MORGAN STARK! DAD TONY!

•Tony knowing in the end there’s no way he won’t help. It’s just not in his DNA and insisting nothing changes from the last 5 years

•Dad bod!Thor

•Fucking “Dr.” Hulk. Ffs, Bruce 🤣

•The whole going back in time deal. I’m a sucker for time travel and watching Scott get turned old/young and not knowing which one peed his pants, lmao, and Tony guessing right off the bat what happened

•The renewal of the Tony/Steve friendship and team. I missed the two of them being on good terms

• “Dr. Hulk” half heartedly trying to imitate his 2012 self destroying things. Again, for fuck SAKE, Bruce. 😂

•Cap saying “Hail Hydra” easter egg. Since all of us fans were sooo angry over them making Cap hydra in that comic. Steve being all smug as he walks out with the scepter. Tony having Scott give past!tony freaking arrythmia’s for a distraction then being all smug because he thinks he got away with it just to be mowed down by The Hulk who was angry he had to take the stairs & Tony teasing Steve about his ass and Scott admiring it. Same, dude. Same.

•The entire scene of Dr. Hulk going to get his stone

•Steve fighting himself. The whole thing was gold.

• “I can do this all day.” Annoyed future!steve “I know, I know” & “That really is America’s ass” And god bless that ass, my golden haired freedom baby.

•Steve and Tony teaming up and overruling Scott because damn do I miss Stony

•The entirety of Thor/Frigga & Tony/Howard

•MJOLNIR RETURNS

•Everyone finding out about Nat’s death and her mini funeral. Not that I “liked” it per say but I thought it was a beautifully acted scene on Scarlett’s part. Clint’s reaction had me bawling as well as everyone else. I’m not a Bruce/Natasha shipper at all but still. It was a very hard scene to sit through with the whole theater sniffling behind me since I was in the front row. (Side note: LOVED Natasha’s blond/red hair. It was really pretty on her)

•Dr. Hulk taking one for the team by wearing the infinity gauntlet. After Nat’s death I really think there may have been a small part of him that wouldn’t have minded joining her. I was happy to see him make it though

•Nebula getting through to past!Gamora and taking past!Neb down

•Tony finding Steve and calling him “my guy” GOD DAMN DID I MISS THAT FRIENDSHIP

•Thor doing that lightening clothing transformation thing and having both weapons

•Everyone teaming up to kill Thanos (again)

•STEVE BEING WORTHY & SUMMONING LIGHTNING MY GODDDDD THAT WAS HOT (the entire theatre erupted in cheers when he was standing there with his shield and Mjolnir. The scene was even cooler in 3D) Thor smiling when he saw all this and saying “I knew it”

•Steve preparing to face Thanos and his whole army by himself and then all these portals pop up and IT’S EVERYONE. Again the entire theatre were on our feet clapping, cheering and laughing with joy the second the Wakandians came into view. Best. Scene. Ever.

•Pepper! In! A! Suit! Again!

•Peter and Tony’s reunion! Peter talking a mile a minute and Tony being so emotional he just hugged him. Fuck, man. Right in the feels indeed

•All female heroes teaming up

•Wanda being enraged at Thanos and his royal grape ness being scared of her power as well as Carol’s when she showed up

•The Entire fucking battle. The mini reunions. I could sit here and go on for ages about it. This battle scene pretty much was one of the best ones I’ve ever seen in any movie/tv show ever.

•Tony realizing what Dr. Strange meant when he said “if I told you what had to happen it wouldn’t happen” and the look that passed between them. Stephen looking at him with sorrow.

•Tony, knowing it was gonna kill him, putting the gauntlet on anyway.

•Again watching Thanos lose everything he loved to disintegration like our heroes did and realize he’s lost to the Avengers again then die himself. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a movie villain more than him to date.

•Tony’s death. At this point I was back to trying not to sob out loud in front of a bunch of strangers. Peter’s reaction is what got me going. Pepper’s as well as the rest of the OG Avengers who had been with Tony the longest. Rhodey crying and pulling Peter away. Just writing this now I’ve got tears in my eyes.

•Pepper telling Tony it was okay to go and she and Morgan would be fine

•The funeral. The grown up kid from Iron Man 3 being there. Aunt May and Peter. Sending that wreath out onto the lake. It was a stunning scene. Happy talking to Morgan.

• “I love you 3000”

•Old man!Steve. Look, I do not care what plot holes it creates. This movie was too well done to let stupid technicalities bug me. As a loooong time Steggy shipper I’m so happy he got to live where he wanted to live back in the 40’s with the love of his life. I’m thrilled Peggy got the love of hers. I don’t care that it destroys the Agent Carter show. It got canceled anyway so I just do not care. Nor do I care about whoever Peggy’s husband ended up being (it was Daniel from AC, I think) getting erased. The two of them pined for each other for so long I think it was beautifully done in the end. I wish we’d gotten to know how many kids Steggy had but 🤷‍♀️. Bucky was still Bucky. No, Steve didn’t kiss his niece if you listened to Bruce’s explanation but people are being stupidly stubborn on that bit. Steve has been my ride or die hero since his original movie in the MCU. I was terrified he was gonna die in sacrifice. I hate, HATE that it was Tony but I’m a little relieved at the same time, I won’t lie. I’d like to think Steve and Peggy were around for baby!tony. Maybe they were Aunt Peggy and Uncle Steve to him.

•Scott, Hope and Cassie mini family

•Clint happily reuniting with his family

•Ned and Peter reuniting

•SAM! BEING! PASSED! THE! CAPTAIN! AMERICA! MANTLE! I cannot wait for Bucky & Sam’s tv series.

•The film closing out with dancing Steve and Peggy happily in love.

What I did not like/hated:

•Loki surviving. I just hate him. Obviously he was going to given he is getting his own show too but Christ on a cracker

•Both Tony and Natasha’s deaths. I know why they happened but it still really really sucks to lose any of the team for any reason. Seeing the Tony stans super upset has been very hard even if we all knew it was gonna be Steve or Tony dying. It’s one thing to know it and then another to actually see it play out

•Clint’s family dissolving? 😭😭 Yes, we knew it was gonna happen but watching it suuuucked

•Not showing the Aunt May/Peter reunion. She had to live 5 years without him after all.

•Not getting to see Carol and Nick interact or reunite.

•Not getting to see Maria’s reaction to Natasha’s death (I know there was only so much time and these reunions are just splitting hairs but I would have liked to see them)

•Not enough Pepperony!Parents scenes. (Again, splitting hairs here, lol)

Over all:

A++++++++

I didn’t go into this movie with expectations in case it was a disappointment. Needless to say it was NOT a disappointment in the least. It was a beautifully done film. The cinematography was stunning. I laughed, cheered, was kept in suspense and definitely cried. Which is not easy to get me to do. I will miss Tony and Pepperony every day but I also cannot wait to see Wanda get Vision back in their series. However that happens nor the Bucky/Sam team up. I think I hit all the major points (I hope). I intend to go see the movie again next week. The Russo Brothers did a wonderful job honoring 11 years worth of movies and the fans who have been here since 2008. A lot is storylines were paid off and the like. Just amazing. Thank you for reading this long word vomit.

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 288: Daughters s/t

I’ve been slacking on these posts in recent weeks on account of being on tour. But I’ve also been slacking because I spent nearly two years researching and writing about Daughters and I’m now in the position of trying to figure out how to condense all those thoughts into one post. So instead of trying to parcel my thoughts down to a few paragraphs, I’m going to post an excerpt from the book discussing a somewhat disastrous tour we did together after the jump. Enjoy.

Here was the duality of Daughters. They weren’t necessarily the monsters they made themselves out to be on stage. They had the capacity to be incredibly friendly and pleasant. But over the course of the next few weeks, the ugliness of their music would begin to permeate into their off-stage lives. The tour travelled west through the plains and mountain states up into Seattle, then headed down the coast. The first week was fairly mellow. On the West Coast, it started to become apparent that Daughters weren’t having a good time on the road. “Not to say we were ahead of the curve,” Sam says in hindsight, “but it always took two years of steady touring before people wanted to hear the latest thing we had done.” Hell Songs had come out at the end of summer 2006 and we were touring at the beginning of summer 2008. And indeed, it seemed like people were still trying to figure out how they felt about Daughters on that tour.

           Jeff Kirby, a writer Seattle’s big alternative weekly newspaper The Stranger, reviewed the show for the paper’s music blog. He loved Daughters’ set, but felt that the line-up wasn’t an ideal scenario for the bands involved. “I don’t envy any band that has to play after Daughters—I’ve seen them shame several headliners,” Kirby wrote. “Following up their explosive set with moody, atmospheric instrumental rock seems like a miscalculation, even if that’s what the majority of the people are there to see. There was no evidence from the crowd though that any of them felt this way—they loved every second of Russian Circle’s set. The transition was harder for me; I just got my ADD on and now I need to get my patience on? Whose bright idea was this?”

           Maybe the bill wasn’t right for Daughters. Maybe Russian Circles drew too many folks that wanted to get lost in the cinematic compositions we were trying to craft, not rattled out of their stupor by Daughters’ abrasive sounds and unruly antics. But it wasn’t always Daughters that got the short end of the stick. I remember playing a dance studio in Morgan Hill, California and watching the crowd of underage kids tear each other apart during Daughters’ set, and then quickly exit the moment they were done playing, leaving us to play to an empty room. There were massive wildfires in the area at the time, and the whole skyline had an ominous orange and brown haze to it. I remember trying to assuage the demoralizing feeling of watching people leave as we set up by assuming that they all wanted to get home to make sure their homes weren’t burning down. But even then, that only meant that catching a Daughters show was worth losing all your possessions in a fire, and our set wasn’t worth the same risk.

           In Chico, we played Café Coda, a small restaurant catering to CSU students. The show was packed, and a few latecomers found that they had to watch the show through the giant plate-glass windows that spanned the entire façade of the café. There was something magical in the horrified faces of the people on the sidewalk watching Lex spit onto the glass and smear his scrotum on the window for their entertainment. The latecomers were disgusted, but the crowd inside the club loved every minute of it.

           The next night the tour came through Slim’s in San Francisco. I remember very little of the evening, but apparently the club was so offended by Daughters’ set and by the state of their dressing room at the end of the night that they were no longer welcome back. This was representative of Daughters’ various violations of decency and good taste: barring extreme cases as with Pelican in Montreal, the band was usually able to contain their mess so that it didn’t impact the other acts on the tour. At the Glasshouse in Pomona a few days later, the band brought some of their visiting friends from Providence into the communal backstage. The New England guests proceeded to get hammered and began throwing bottles against the walls of the green room. One stern reprimand from their manager Cathy Pellow, who was also hanging out backstage, was enough for Daughters to order their friends to settle down.

           But eventually the mess couldn’t be contained. Two days later we were at the Casbah in San Diego. It was their first time back in the city since the whole debacle with The Locust. “Some tours we—though I guess mainly Lex and I—spent in a drunken fog. For years it was straight whiskey, cases of beer, and drugs,” Nick says. “It was fun and wild, so I look at it with a certain fondness, but there were other tours where I felt that I needed to exercise some personal control over myself and use the time spent in the van or before the show to focus on bettering myself somehow.” But the Casbah has no backstage room, which makes self-improvement, whether it’s practicing guitar scales, reading, doing yoga, or whatever else makes you feel like you’re helping cultivate a healthy body and mind, damn near impossible, unless you want to be the weirdo doing yoga back by the merch or the jackass who’s running through guitar exercises at the bar. And considering that members of The Locust were rumored to be coming to the show, Nick felt anxious and unable to focus. So he ponied up at the bar, ordered a whisky, and talked to the bartender. One whisky led to another, and eventually someone tapped on Nick’s shoulder to tell him it was time to play.

           “I was in a fog, operating on muscle memory. Some nights that would work without a hitch, so I didn’t think much of it. We set up, everyone can tell I’m fucked. I think I was even making our set time cut short by showing up too late and taking too much time to get it together.” A couple songs into their set, Nick’s rig began to act up and cut out. So he unplugged from the pedalboard and plugged directly into the amp. That worked at first, but eventually his signal began to cut out again. “Without a second thought I walked back to my amp, banged the top of it with my fist, picked up my glass of whisky, chugged it, and slammed the glass down on the amp as hard as I could. It didn’t hurt, but there was a sobering ‘mush’ feeling that snapped me into reality quickly enough to see the exposed muscle of my fingers before there was time for the blood to start gushing out. Even though there wasn’t sound coming out of my amp, I kept playing until I noticed the small pool of blood on my setlist. As Jon later told me, I turned towards him, whipped my hand up in the air, and yelled ‘I have to go to the hospital.’ Jon says that a trail of blood spattered across his snare drum and up his face.

“Without waiting for a reply, I threw off my guitar, kicked over my amp, and stormed through the crowd. In kicking my amp, I mistakenly kicked the club’s mic stand and broke it in half, and not at a point where two parts connect. I broke it in the middle of the main bar. The sound guy was so impressed he didn’t charge us for it. Meanwhile, I’m outside the club panicking because I’m way too drunk to handle the situation and decide that I need to sober up, so I just start thrusting my bloody hands into my mouth to make myself throw up. The next immediate thing I remember is realizing that I’m surrounded by a crowd of people waiting to get in, some of which were members of The Locust who seemed to think the whole thing was funny.”

           The show was running late at this point and everyone was drunk. I was trying to sweep up the broken glass, mop up the blood, and cobble together Nick’s stuff while the rest of Daughters tended to their own gear. No one in his band seemed too concerned about his injury. In fact, no one would drive him to the hospital, so Evan from Young Widows took him.

           Despite the on-stage drama, the crowd didn’t seem particularly ruffled by the incident, probably because they were too distracted by the ruckus that unfolded in the audience prior to Nick’s bloodletting. Apparently, some guy in the crowd decided to urinate on an unsuspecting patron during the set. Not surprisingly, this led to a proper fight, which migrated to the back patio of the club. The altercation mostly involved two dudes shoving each other, and at one point someone got pushed into Daughters’ merch table, which resulted in a pitcher of beer spilling into a box of their records, ruining all the covers in the process.

           I don’t remember our set, but I do remember getting off stage and finding all of the Daughters members (with the exception of an elusive Jeff Worms) completely hammered. The mood was surprisingly light, but when it came time to leave, no one in the band seemed sober enough to drive, and no one seemed particularly motivated to go by the hospital to pick up Nick. In the end, all three bands caravanned to the hospital, partially because the remaining members of Widows needed a ride to their van, which Evan had taken to the hospital, and partially because Daughters were sobering up and needed someone else from the touring party to drive them to pick up Nick.

           We got to the hospital, ordered Daughters to tend to their injured bandmate, and decided to stay at a hotel half an hour outside of the city in the mountain town of Alpine. We gave Daughters the hotel name so that they could stay in the same spot as us. Shortly after arriving at our destination, we got a phone call from Jon. Apparently, the band decided to sober up and simmer down over burritos from a Mexican restaurant by the hospital. In a rare act of indulgence, the meal was paid for out of the band fund. Lex brought in the cash pouch, paid for everyone’s meal, and got a start on their drive. They were on the outskirts of town when they realized the cash pouch had not made it back into the van. Panicked phone calls to the Mexican restaurant failed to turn up the missing cash. Someone, either an employee or a customer, had walked off with all of Daughters’ money.

           The more pessimistic estimate on the loss claims that there was nearly $10,000 in the pouch. But supposedly the band had paid off the majority of their tour debts to Cathy the night before in LA, so the less painful estimates within the camp put the amount of money lost around $1,500. The money was never recovered, so it’s hard to say for sure.

           “That was the day I was coined ‘hot mess’ by Russian Circles,” Nick says. “It made me sad to hear that, because that’s not how I view myself. But in my absurd love of chaos, I felt kind of proud of the nickname too. Total duality—which is a pretty accurate description of the band as a whole, both with the psychology of the individual members, the construction of our music, and the choices we made as a group.”

           While there was always tension within the Daughters camp, the biggest division existed between Nick and Lex, so it’s somewhat ironic that they were the two members of the band to screw up the night. Any animosity that could’ve been directed at Nick for derailing the performance was overshadowed by Lex’s loss of the cash.

           It’s hard to illustrate the animosity between band members because it never manifested in a major altercation, even in San Diego. “They didn’t actually fight,” says Brian Mullen, “but there was always tension. There was never a blow-up, and you need that blow-up. You need that moment where you all scream at each other about something stupid and walk away. Then it’s out there and whoever was being the idiot takes a moment to evaluate, and then everyone moves forward. They never did that.”

           Animosity was expressed in small gestures. Lex recalls a show in Texas where he had climbed into the rafters of the club during their set and stripped naked. He dropped his shoes and clothes onto the stage, but apparently he dropped them too close to Nick, because Nick kicked the clothing away from him. In terms of rock disputes, kicking a bandmember’s clothes is pretty benign business. But when these small, disgruntled gestures become standard protocol, it creates a very toxic environment. “There was always a power struggle,” Jon says. “There were always personalities that you had to coddle or manipulate to get to certain place. Meanwhile, they’re manipulating you the whole time for their own personal gain. It was just a power struggle for no reason.”

           Nick has a slightly different take on the nature of the tension. “There was a prominent sense of humor or satire about the band. We all have really dry and terrible senses of humor. Most of us were kind of mean with it, and at the same time we were very childish. Looking back, it’s something we bonded over. But as we toured on Hell Songsthat sense of humor wasn’t at the forefront of what we did. It wasn’t conscious at all—we never did anything consciously because we had such poor communication skills.

“There was so much apathy within the group, and again, dualistically, we cared so much about everything that it made us sick. We hated the music. We hated being in a band at all. Sometimes we hated our audience. Sometimes we hated each other."

[mindonmymoneyandmoneyonmymind]

okay now i am done and i feel like it is outta my system so a word from me

Honestly... If I have to score it I give endgame somewhere in the high 80%-ish range. I gotta hand it to em they reeeeally tried hard to pack everything into 3 hours and that’s hard. I hope once the dvd and blu-ray comes out we have a lot more bonus footage and deleted scenes. I loved the movie that being said I think it wrapped up enough while simultaneously leaving enough to the imagination. This was 12 years in the making that’s pretty amazing.

Imma break it up real quick cuz i hate long reviews this is just to get the thoughts off my mind:

CONS

> it was really fast to me even for 3 hours

> not a crazy loki fan but yo where was he?

> ngl usually i can hang with time travel and stuff like that BUT the time travel got suuuuper confusing and i think that was on purpose. throughout the whole movie, i was like “wait! why don’t they do this? why don’t they do this?”

> Natasha could have gotten more credit for her death imo i think they really ran out of time 

PROS (it’s alot)

> SOOOO many time in the movie i was like YAY WE WON! then something bad happens. ngl i thought once Thanos blew up the compound that was it. 

> the end battle was amaaazing so big i can barely comprehend what i was seeing

> I was reeeeaally worried they were gonna focus a lot on captn marvel and that would’ve sucked because this the AVENGERS and i wanted them to focus on the main 6. But the girl came in handy at the end i give it to her.

> Tony Pepper and Morgan = a wonderful little family omfg. The lil girl who played morgan was such a lil sweetie i am sooo glad they didn’t get an annoying kid!

> They did clint wrong, in the beginning, like wow his whole arc was just- wow his lost his family and had to sacrifice his best friend to ge them back. I know it won’t happen because Far from Home is wrapping this up but a  black widow movie with their back story would be much appreciated. 

> Tony’s death although i hated to see it. Was so tastefully done. Perfect! I mean couldn’t have been handled better imo. Everyone showed up at his funeral. NICK FURY WAS THERE AND THAT HARLEY KID!  I cried like a child . Lemme just say Tony carried his weight this whole ass franchise not ONCE was he lacking in my eyes. He did what he was supposed to do and more. People are saying RDJ needs an OSCAR...yes ngl that scene when he can back from space and ripped out his arc reactor outta pure rage and frustration. Yes. The whole reunion with Peter :,) was nice and I am glad they showed how HEAVY getting him killed weighed on Tony’s conscience 

> Avengers Assemble. 

> EVERY ACTOR NAILED THE EMOTIONAL SCENE!

> THEY KEPT THE MAIN 6 THE FOCAL POINT

> OKAY BIG ONE! So everybody seems to be really upset about this whole thor fiasco and idk why? Thor has emotions and feelings and shit and i have to say throughout every single movie in the franchise he has kept his godly composure i think to see him finally admit he is worn down is refreshing. I see they tried to do the same comedy as Ragnorok...it was aight not as good, but that part where Tony asked him why he knew and he started talking in circles has me LMAO 

WAIT BITCH I’M NOT DONE ABOUT THOR!  FR even the weight gain i think they used that as a comedy schtick I thought it was kinda funny but fr depression does that to people irl. The anxiety attack being back in Asgard...he was just going through the motions. He lost so much shit and then what broke my heart is him BEGGING to do the snap like this is all he has and then tony and rhodey being like dude you are EMOTIONALLY not put together enough to do this. He gave is all on the battlefield tho. At the end, he realized he needs to start over and take care of himself and that doesn’t me being in charge giving the kingdom over the Valkyrie was soo humble and showed real character devolvement.  Where is loki tho and also someone write some fic 

> I think cap reeeally got what he deserved fr. Cap deserved to have something for himself he has been a weapon for so long. Out of his element for soo long. Going back to Peggy whether she’s married or not (we love a messy bitch) IS HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT! He’s been America's ass for too long! Giving it over to Sam was the icing on the cake! Again we are here for it SAM DESERVES IT! Now y’all know i am not a bucky fan in any way shape or form buuuut how can steve just leave his dawg behind like that? IDK IDK! Again Cap was like “lemme do some self-care” and went about his business. It looks like to me Bucky knew as soon as Cap said goodbye - Bucky knew wtf was goin on but ok 

> Starlord imo got what he deserved about gamora. He didn’t lose her...persay she is there they just have to rebuild. But after that stunt he did in IW this is just a little taste of karma in a way. Not tryna say the snap was his fault it was inevitable buuuuut y’all know what scene i am talking about.

> Wakanda Forever. 

> That girl gang in the final battle was a yes. yes. YES. FUCK HIM UP QUEENS!

> Scott and his family and Scott in general :) he saved the day

> Thanos...you tried it!