#Nick Fury did not sign up for this

[traveler-at-heart]

Cat's out of the (super) bag

Summary: Natasha doesn't like going on missions with you. Learning the truth might make her change her mind.

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Big thanks to @soggy-wet-cat for hearing this idea before I wrote it :)

--

Fury was going soft.

That was the only way to explain your presence on most of Natasha’s missions.

Rogers, she gets. He’s a super soldier and as capable as Natasha is, it doesn’t hurt to have an enhanced individual around.

But you.

Always slow, always too relaxed for Natasha’s liking. Insisting you could do more, but last week you weren’t even able to pick a lock.

Not to mention how much you avoid hand to hand combat. Natasha suspects it’s because your skill level is very low.

“She’d do better out of the field” Natasha complains for the tenth time. Fury smirks. “This isn’t funny. I’m risking my neck to protect her and she’s not even worried about getting better. I’m not doing missions with her anymore”

“Now, hold on” Fury protests. “That’s not for you to decide. And I thought you trusted me”

“It’s her I can’t trust”

“Too damn bad. You have a mission. No Rogers this time. And I better hear it went well, Romanoff”

Natasha rolls her eyes and leaves his office.

It will only go well if she convinces you to sit and wait at the jet.

—

“What did you do to piss off Romanoff?”

“Morning to you too, Nick” you smile, placing a cup of coffee in front of him. “I don’t know. It’s pretty obvious she doesn’t like me”

“I know that. Have you done anything to upset her?”

“I barely speak to her and when I do she doesn’t answer” you shrug your shoulders, going back to every interaction you’ve had with the redhead. Her intense glare comes back to haunt you. “Do you think she knows?”

“You tell me. Did you screw up?”

“I keep a low profile. Like you asked me to” you nod, knowing how important this is for him.

“Better stay that way. You’re both leaving for a mission tomorrow” the man hands you a folder and you skim it. “Keep your head down and don’t make her angrier”

“Is that even possible?”

“You don’t wanna know”

—

It’s a mess from the start. You try to stay away from Natasha, but every time your attempts go in the worst way possible. Like when she’s walking down the jet, and you move aside so she has space. Except you end up pushing a few buttons on the console and Natasha has to come back and straighten the ship.

“Stay still” she mutters, glaring. You nod and sit on your hands, more concerned with the woman’s temper than about the mission.

“Wait here” is all she says after landing the jet.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a very simple mission” Natasha says, without looking at you, focused on adjusting her widow bites. “So, if you really want to help, stay out of my way”

“That’s not the plan. I’m supposed to watch the south entrance”

“They’ll never even noticed I inflitrated the building”

“You’re not my boss. Fury is. And if he wants me to stand outside and watch the south entrance, then that is exacly what I’ll do, Natasha”

The redhead finally turns back to look at you, surprised. This is the first time she’s seen you upset. You’re walking past her, not bothering to look her way… have you always been this tall? It always seems like you’re trying to look small.

“Hey” Natasha tries to make you turn, grabbing your arm. She’s surprised by how strong you are. “You better not screw up. Or I’ll make sure you’re on desk duty for the rest of your career, Y/L/N”

“Oh, now that’s funny. I’ve been here far longer than you” you lean forward, whispering. Natasha tries to understand what you mean, her eyes scanning your features for a sign. Aware of how close you are to her, you take a step back and jump out the door, ignoring the ladder.

Ridiculous, to think that you (you!) are an incompetent agent.

Maybe Fury was wrong for asking you to do this.

You’re kicking the ground, huffing every few minutes, still fuming at Natasha’s words. All this time, you thought she didn’t like you and though it sucked, you could live with that. But saying you were bad at your job when it was the exact opposite makes you see red.

“Y/N?” Natasha says over the comms.

“Here” you answer.

“A little help”

Those three words make your stomach drop. Natasha asking for your help?

This must be life or death kind of bad.

“Tell me where you are” you ask, breaking into the building.

“Intelligence room. Surrounded by at least 20 guards”

“Use the vents to go out and grab one of their vehicles. I’ll distract them”

“You’re gonna take down 20 people all on your own?”

“Just do as I say, Romanoff”

It feels good to finally use all your strenght. You practically rip open a door that sets off an alarm, and then you throw a couple of grenades around.

Now, all eyes are on you.

Sure enough, it takes them a few minutes to come find you, but you’re ready to shoot at the first guards, and when the second wave has gone through their ammo, you prepare for hand to hand combat.

“I’m out but there are two individuals after me. Towards the east, away from the jet”

“Got it. Gentleman” you turn to the man. “Change of plans. Let me go or die. Whichever is fine by me”

They laugh, until you send one of them flying across the room, his neck snapping.

“Who’s next, ladies?”

—

How could this mission have gone so wrong? Now Natasha is navigating the snowy road on a motorcycle, being chased by two of the guards and dodging their bullets.

The cold air is stabbing her hands and face but she has to keep going. She is too far away to communicate with you, but hoped you had the good sense of going back to the jet.

She’d find a way to survive.

Or maybe not, as she notices a third motorcycle joining the chase.

Through the rearview mirror, she sees the new person approaching one of the guards. A fight ensues and an exchange of shots. Next thing Natasha saw was the motorcycles colliding.

“Y/N?” she tries the comms, hoping you aren’t stupid enough to be knocking down people. Whoever those two were, the force of the hit was enough to kill them.

And yet, one of them begins to run after Natasha and the man still chasing her. The figure is fast approaching, which is ridiculous, considering Natasha was going 150 miles per hour.

The brute is clearly scared, as his movements become more erratic, trying to get rid of Natasha and the mysterious figure at the same time. He shoots behind him and then at Natasha, getting to one of the tires in her bike.

She tries to keep the handle steady, but can’t turn on the curve ahead of her. Natasha is sent flying directly to a river, the cold water making her momentarily paralized. The currents confused her, and she couldn’t tell up from down. She swam and swam, until her arms were too tired.

She began to drift, and the last thing she saw was a shadow hovering above her.

—

“Natasha? Nat?” you plead, doing CPR as gently as you can. You don’t want to add cracked ribs to her list of injuries.

Finally, after what felt like hours but were only seconds, Natasha lunges forward, coughing and throwing up water. You hold her head, helping her until she can breathe again.

“I’m freezing” Natasha complains, looking around. “Did we lose them? How did you…” she then turns to you and widens her eyes. “You’re bleeding”

“Yeah, he shot me. It’ll stop in a second. And yes, we lost them. Though I’m sure HYDRA is sending more people to track us down. Come on” you stand up, offering your hand. Natasha takes it and is once again surpised by how strong you are.

Your body is also warmer than hers, even if you dived to rescue her. On pure instinct, Natasha comes closer, practically melting against your body heat.

“You’re hiding something” she states and you chuckle.

“Now’s not the time. Come on, I’ll carry you. There must be a safe house close to the river”

Natasha climbs to your back, and as if she weights nothing, you walk down the river, trusting she’ll keep an eye for any place to hide.

Sure enough, after ten minutes of walking, the redhead gets your attention and points at the right. There’s a small cottage hiding between some trees.

“Here” you say as you kick open the door, not bothering to find a key. You set Natasha down and go around the place, looking for blankets and anything that will make her warm.

“Did it stop bleeding?” she asks, looking at your abdomen. You nod, placing a blanket over her shoulder and checking for other injuries. “Are you a super soldier?”

You smile, thinking that Fury will be up in arms. But technically, you didn’t tell Natasha. She figured it out.

“Yes”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Who else knows?” Natasha says, pulling the blanket closer, as if it will help her cover from you as well. It’s clear she doesn’t trust you right now.

“Fury asked me to keep a low profile. He’s the only one that knows. I think he’s concerned about the integrity of SHIELD. You know him, keeping an ace up his sleeve”

“How long have you known him for?”

“Thirty years, give or take. My existence is top secret, and I spent some time away from the job. My father died, and he was the last person that I knew before everything, so… it was hard, I guess”

“I’m sorry”

“Me too. I didn’t like lying to you or pretending to be something I’m not”

Natasha kicks herself for not noticing sooner. It’s so glaringly obvious now that she has to roll her eyes at herself.

Your build, the fact that you never seem to be tired or catching your breath. Hell, the fact you never train with anyone else.

Natasha made an assumption and ran with it, instead of trying to see past it.

“Hey, you ok?” you ask, craddling her head in your hands. “Did you hit your head? Feel dizzy?”

“I’m just cold”

“We can’t start a fire” you regret, looking out. “Here” you pull her closer, your arms going around her shoulders. She tries to protest, but whatever she was about to say dies in her throat as soon as she feels how warm you are.

“This suit is all wet” she says, pulling away and taking it off. “Don’t look or I’ll kill you”

“Uh… what is going on?” your eyes dart to the ceiling, blushing. Then, you feel Natasha’s cold skin against you. “Jesus, Nat. You’re freezing”

You bury the both of you in more blankets, and feel her melting against your side. On instinct, your arms go around her waist and bring her closer, to which she responds by burying her face on the crook of your neck.

“So I can’t look but I can touch, huh?”

“Glad we understand each other”

—

“So…”

“So” Natasha says, landing the jet back home.

“Can we be friends? Friendly, at least?”

“No” she stands up, walking towards you. “Friends don’t look at each other the way you’ve been looking at me for the entire ride home”

“Can you blame me?” your eyes drift to her cleavage, remembering how she was practically naked and clinging to you as if her life depended on it.

“Wine and dine me, Y/L/N. And we’ll take it from there”

“Yes, Ma’am”

“Am I interrupting?” Fury shouts from the hangar.

“Yes” you say, but Natasha leaves, glaring at Fury on her way out.

“I’ve known you for thirty years and you still can’t keep it together around a pretty lady. And now I’m in trouble too” Fury says, clearly displeased.

“Hey, at least you don’t have that problem with Rogers, huh?”

“For now, Y/L/N. There’s always some trouble waiting around the courner”

You laugh and clap his back, leaving the jet. His plan may have failed, but you’re certainly not complaining.

Not when you have a hot date waiting for you.

[themotherofhorses]

pairing: aemond targaryen x handmaid!reader

summary: lucerys velaryon witnesses a moment he should've never laid eyes upon.

warnings: explicit language. fluff and girl dad!aemond. aemond also spits sexy poetry at his girl. uhhh lucerys signing his death warrant maybe???

notes: hehehehe i'm enjoying this pairing SO MUCH GUYS

his handmaid's tales | main masterlist

It is Lucerys Velaryon, three and ten, that catches onto the relationship, though it was by honest mistake on his part. Or a stupid decision, perhaps. He never meant to lay eyes on such an intimate yet indecent moment.

The dinner held an hour before was an embarrassment to his family, that he understood quite well. It was wrong for him to provoke his uncle into a fury and, even worse, to allow his temper to flare past reasonable judgment. His right cheek still throbbed where his uncle Aegon slammed him hard against the table, nicking his browbone with the edge of the plate. But it was the look his mother gave him that seemed to float before him in the hallway’s darkness, against the very stones of the Red Keep.

She was disappointed in him, very much so. Daemon too, probably.

Lucerys felt the great need to apologize.

It clambered up his throat and settled deep within his head, causing his stomach to roil and fingers to tremble.

He needed to apologize.

So he stands before his uncle Aemond’s chamber, counting his breaths in some wretched attempt to steel his nerves. One, two, three….four, five, six….he repeats in his mind, over and over, as his knuckles ghost over the door…but then he notices the slight crack between the two doors. His eyebrow raises. It is large enough to peer inside, where he hears a soft voice, young and feminine.

His mother always did say he was naturally curious during boyhood, but she also would say that curiosity killed the cat, and snooping was a nasty habit for a realm’s prince to pick up. Against his better nature, Lucerys leans in for a small peak.  

Lucerys recognizes her as his uncle’s personal handmaid- a young maid, fair and cheerful and beautiful. She smiled at him in the earlier hour, at both him and his brothers, when she passed by the three carrying a handful of freshly washed linens. He remembers it quite well, actually. Despite being clothed in plain servant rags, he had thought she was absolutely lovely. And she had been the only one to spare him a sliver of kindness, no prudence.

He saw her again later in the day, trailing after Aemond. His handmaid, Prince Daemon mumbled to his mother, a smirk on his lips. Ah, but a maid of her beauty does not stay one for long. His mother ignored that, and he tried to as well.

Inside the room, he sees the pretty handmaid rocking in a chair, clutching a tiny babe to her chest. Back and forth, forth and back.

No, he soon realizes, dark eyes widening. The babe is feeding from her breasts. Was she a wet nurse as well? Lucerys tilted his head at the thought. She did not look old enough to be considered one, the majority being well in his senior. He watches as she continues rocking, singing a lullaby beneath her breath before bringing the babe’s plump face to her lips for a kiss.

“The Mother gives the gift of life, and watches over every wife. Her gentle smile ends all strife, and she loves her little children….the Crone is very wise and old, and sees our fates as they unfold. She lifts her lamp of shining gold to lead the little children….”

His uncle then steps behind her, leaning to kiss her brow before her lips. “Isn’t she beautiful?” Lucerys hears the handmaid say, smiling up at Aemond. He grins, nodding. “Absolutely beautiful. A mirror of her mother, I’d say,” and he kneels to one knee beside the chair, pressing his forehead against her shoulder. He kisses the bare skin there- once, twice, thrice, and his mouth moves, but Lucerys cannot hear what he is telling her.

Whatever it is, though, it makes his handmaid giggle and shy away, shifting her gaze back on the babe.

“Are you happy?” she asks.

His nuncle sighs. “My girl, my love, I’ve told you before- I love anything and everything you give me,” and he reaches forward to take the babe in his arms, cuddling her close, “-but you have answered my wishes. You have given to me the most beautiful daughter, with your eyes and enchanting smile and nose.” Aemond glances at her, then bring her palm to his lips and mumbles against it, “And I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“I have only done my duty, my prince. I am, as always, your humble servant.”

Aemond rolls his eye. “If I could give it, the realm would be yours, and you would rule as its queen. No more a fucking servant.”

The handmaid shakes her head, laughing as she leans back in the rocking chair. “I have no need for a realm; I’m quite content in having your bed and children as mine, my love.”

Ah. His uncle Aemond One-Eye has bastards. How many, Lucerys does not know, but the babe swaddled within Aemond’s arms is his and the handmaid’s, no doubt. He wants to let out the bark of bitter laughter bubbling inside his chest, to scream at the heavens and curse out any listening gods, before running to tell Jacaerys and Lady Baela and his Rhaena. Lucerys turns his attention back to his uncle. How dare he mock his bastard origins when he himself is fathering his own handmaid’s children.

To the health of my nephews- Jace, Luke, and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise…strong. ‘Twas only a compliment…do you not think yourself strong?

How dare he act any better. How fucking dare he. Aemond’s words did not wound him as much as before, not with the bastard baby lying in his arms.

It leaves Lucerys’s head pounding to the same beat as his heart. Bum. Bum. Bum. But then his breath hitches in his throat when his uncle lifts his head up, a lone purple eye meeting his own. Aemond gives him a cool stare. Dead. Dead. Dead. He rises to his feet, gently resting his daughter back in her mother’s arms, before standing in front of his handmaid, barring any further view of her.

“Aemond, what is it?”

Lucerys quickly pulls back from the door, stumbling and falling on his ass. All he can hear now is his heart hammering in both his ears and his uncle’s heavy footsteps looming closer and closer. “Aemond?” the handmaid’s voice calls out, loud and honeyed. “Where are you going?”

To murder me, the prince thinks, jumping to his feet. He turns to sprint down the hallway, braving only one final glance over his shoulder. What he sees terrifies him.

Aemond stands at the door, staring at him with a narrowed eye. The same glare he gave him during the dinner, cold and filled with pure animosity. If the Stranger was to be a mortal man, Lucerys would believe him to be his uncle, especially at this moment. There is a message twisted in his sharp features, in the furrow of his brows, the sneer curled on his lips, and the dagger clasped in his hand.

He won’t live much longer, less if his tongue shares what he witnessed tonight.

[nataliasquote]

Can’t You See This Is Breaking Me? | n romanoff

Summary: Natasha isn’t quite ready to give her entire life for the woman she loves

Warnings: injuries, blood, stitches, no happy ending

wc: 5.2k

note: this idea was given to me by @katyaromanoffpetrova (love you 🤍) and she’s fuelling my love hate relationship with angst. Also, this was so hard to condense, so I’m sorry if it’s lacking detail. I tried to cram three years of a relationship into 5k words :)

-⧗-

It was no secret to anyone how little regard Natasha had for her own life. Even since her very first Shield mission, she’d been a force to be reckoned with, partly down to her pure destructive nature. She didn’t care if taking down Hydra agents meant coming away with a bullet wound or two. Or if destroying an enemy testing laboratory meant four broken ribs and a cracked collar bone. As long as the job was done, that was all she cared about.

Nick Fury was getting tired of how many lectures he had given a young, 25 year old Natasha in his office when he’d read her completed mission report. He knew why she had such a blatant disregard for her life but it didn’t make it any easier seeing one of his best agents beaten and bruised each week. The redhead barely flinched when her wounds were inspected, but to be honest she didn’t really react to anything.

She was more of a ghost really, a pale figure soundlessly walking the halls at night. If her injuries didn’t let keep her awake at night, then the nightmares gladly took their turn, drenching her entire body in a cold sweat and leaving her shivering in her tangled sheets. But if the dark circles under her eyes looked worse, her friend and mentor Clint didn’t utter a word.

The structure and routine that manifested week by week kept her grounded and focused. Wake up, train, eat, surveillance, sleep. Missions were a welcome break from the otherwise monotonous rhythm Natasha had found herself in. She much preferred working solo as opposed to in a team, but Shield was all about team work so she had to suck it up.

A lot of the time she found herself alongside Clint Barton who weirdly offered her a feeling of comfort. She liked how he never pried too much into how she was feeling, or her past, but kept a look out for her whenever they were together. Her icy demeanour slowly melted away thanks to his warmth that he never failed to show her.

He showed her how to let people in, how to not keep her heart so tightly guarded in fear of actually feeling something about someone. And as much as she would hate to admit it, he was right. It did feel better knowing people cared about her. But it also terrified her at the same time. Vulnerability wasn’t her strong suit.

Yet somehow she had managed to let her tough exterior be pushed aside just long enough for a certain someone to wiggle her way in and take up permanent residence inside the redhead’s mind.

Y/n Y/l/n wasn’t really anyone compared to Natasha. Sure, she was a shield agent, and a high ranking one at that, but that was nothing compared to an Avenger. She’d spend years in their shadow, always looking up to Natasha Romanoff. I mean, who wouldn’t? She’s pretty badass.

But the young agent thought her relationship with said Avenger would end at idolisation and daydreaming. She never expected to suddenly be living amongst them in the compound. But when an empty training room was suddenly disrupted at three in the morning, it was a sign things were to change forever.

Y/n relished the silence that the training room at night brought. Most of her colleagues preferred to train in a group at 7am, but insomnia often brought her into the gym a lot earlier. She loved it though; a way to clear her head and exhaust her body whilst maintaining peak physical fitness required in case of a last second mission.

Lost in a world of music playing through her headphones, Y/n failed to notice the door slowly open, caught up in her boxing routine on the punch bag. She should have been more aware of her surroundings, like she’d been trained, so that she didn’t nearly jump out of her skin as a voice cut through her music.

“You’re gonna get a sore back if you keep using the wrong form.”

Without having ever met in person, Y/n would recognise that voice anywhere. She whipped around and quickly pulled her headphones off around her neck, cheeks flushing as she took in the woman in front of her.

A black sports bra and navy sweatpants was all that adorned Natasha’s toned body. She stood there with a hand on her hip, the other holding a small towel, a water bottle and her own pair of headphones. Y/n desperately tore her eyes away from the widow’s toned abs, feeling her own insecurities creep upwards. She itched for her sweatshirt that lay discarded on the bench just out of reach. That was the last time she ever trained in a sports bra.

“You keep twisting your back as you punch. You need to move from your hips.” Y/n just looked at her with surprise, not fully processing that they were having a conversation at all. “Do you want me to show you?”

“Yeah, sure.” That snapped her out of her trance. Y/n took a step back and allowed Nat to place her things down before she packed a swift punch to the bag, sending it swinging slightly on its stand. Y/n couldn’t lie, she looked really good, arm muscles tensed as she threw a few more punches. Her form was impeccable, but of course it was.

“When you swing round you have to rotate your hips for momentum. Just turning from your back will cause injury.” Y/n nodded, mirroring her stance on the punching bag beside Natasha. “Unless you’re doing lots of smaller ones, then you need to keep your hips still. That just comes from your shoulders.”

Nat threw a few more punches before Y/n copied, missing the small smile that broke out on the Russian’s lips as she observed. Fast learner, she noted, nodding in approval as Y/n turned back to her.

“Very good.” She bent down to grab her things, back muscles on full show to Y/n who just could not stop staring. You’d think she was used to the sight of toned bodies after working out everyday, but there was something different about Natasha and she couldn’t quite work it out.

“Thank you. I’m Y/n, by the way. I work in-“

“I know who you are,” Natasha said casually, looking the woman up and down. “You work with Hill. She talks about you.”

Y/n’s eyes went wide. “She does?”

Nat smirked. “Yeah, why? Does she not talk about me?”

“No, she does- we do-“ what happened to calm and collected shield agent she once was? Reduced to a stuttering mess of words in front of a pretty redhead. God, Y/n cursed herself for not being able to talk to women.

“I’m joking, don’t worry.” Natasha gave her a soft smile before walking off to the weights section, her headphones shutting out the world so she could focus.

Y/n however, could not focus on anything except that brief interaction. It was probably so small in Natasha’s life, yet it would consume Y/n for at least a week, if not more. Maria was going to have a field day with this.

Except it wasn’t small in Natasha’s life. The flustered agent had left quite a mark and Natasha found herself creeping down to the gym at 3am most mornings, hoping to see the woman she’d grown to love so much. And, more often than not, Y/n was there, punching away at the bag and pausing when Nat came in.

Over a course of many weeks, both had changed their training plans to match each other. It felt nice working out with another, Natasha had to admit, and Y/n was so easy to talk to she set the redhead right at ease. They talked and laughed and Y/n noticed how the usually uptight Russian had come out of her shell a lot more since that very first night.

However, one night didn’t go so smoothly. Y/n was in the training room first, of course. She sat on the bench and adjusted her socks, keeping herself busy until Natasha arrived. The past couple of nights had been just her as the redhead had been on a mission, but Maria informed her that she would return tonight, so Y/n anxiously awaited her return. She was more worried about Natasha than she let on, but they had no relationship outside of those four walls so she bounced her knee, willing her new friend to walk through the doors.

And she did. Except this wasn’t the confident Natasha she usually knew. No, this Natasha was walking stiffly, almost as if she was in pain.

“Nat?” Y/n asked, standing hesitantly at the sight of her. Small cuts and bruises littered her face and what skin was exposed under the neck of her tactical suit. Agents always had to report to medical following their return from a mission, but by the looks of Natasha, she hadn’t done that. “Why- what are you doing here?”

“Can’t miss training with my favourite girl, now can I?” She tried to sound upbeat but it fell flat, her pain evident even in her voice.

Y/n pushed aside the butterflies that erupted in her chest at those words and sprung up to help her, guiding Natasha to the nearest bench and forcing her to sit. She took note of how Natasha’s hand tightly clutched her side and she feared the worst.

She thought for a second, feeling Natasha’s eyes all over her face. “May I…?” She gestured to the zip on Natasha’s suit and the redhead nodded, stiffly manoeuvring her arms out of her sleeves as Y/n tugged it down to her waist. The agent had switched to processional mode and ignored how close Natasha’s bra clad chest was to her face as she inspected her side.

“What happened?” She asked, crouching down with a hand gently resting on the redhead’s knee as she gently felt the skin around the wound.

“Some stupid agent snuck up on me and threw his knife. Shit aim though.” Of course she tried to make a joke, but Y/n wasn’t laughing as she looked into her eyes. The redhead almost wanted to roll her eyes, and she would have done if anyone else looked at her with pity like that, but Y/n was different. Safer.

“Why didn’t you go to medical?”

Nat looked down, averting her eyes. “I didn’t want to. I hate it there.”

Y/n knew not to push. She didn’t know much about Natasha’s past but knew enough to know that it must have been horrific to endure. She sat back on her heels and bit her lip in thought.

“Will you let me sort it? I keep a suture kit and supplies in my bathroom.” She caught Natasha’s eye and gently squeezed her knee, trying to establish enough trust between them to let her accept the help. But Natasha was stubborn, so there was truly no way of knowing which way she’d swing.

“Ok.” That was not the expected answer but Y/n was happy to hear it. She knew not to help Natasha up, the redhead probably would have punched her, so she collected her things and led them both back to her apartment, walking a bit slower than normal to help Natasha keep up.

Her room was nothing special and probably looked identical to Natasha’s as they both had Shield issued rooms. Although Natasha’s would be fancier thanks to Tony Stark and his upgrades.

There were no personal items on any of the surfaces, not even in the bedroom. Natasha looked around with a frown, not liking how bare everything seemed. Not homely, that’s for sure. Even the bedside cabinets were empty, not even a picture frame for decoration.

“Take a seat anywhere, I’ll be right out.” Natasha chose the couch by the small coffee table and sank down onto it. The couch wasn’t anything special and neither was the table, ring marks displaying its age and use on the surface. The overhead light was dim but brightened up as Y/n stepped back into the room, a medical kit tucked under her arm.

She worked in silence, only broken by a hiss of pain from Natasha as the alcohol stung her wound. Y/n muttered an apology under her breath but kept working, fingers brushing gently over the soft skin as she made light work of stitching it closed. They weren’t the neatest but they’d do the job just fine.

“Thank you for this,” Natasha spoke into the silence, her eyes fixed on her fingers that rested on her lap. “You didn’t have to.”

“Maybe not, but I wanted to. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Natasha stayed silent for a moment, trying to organise her thoughts. She had people who cared about her, the Avengers, but not quite like Y/n had. She didn’t care who Natasha was, or how well she could take down enemies. She just enjoyed her presence and cared for her as a human being, something she rarely felt like she was.

“Can I make this up to you?” She tentatively asked, the strong Black Widow now a weird mess of nerves. What even was this?

“No, you don’t have to-“

“Come out with me on Saturday, into the city. Can I buy you lunch?”

Y/n stifled her smile and hid her face whilst packing up her equipment. She knew Natasha was asking her out on a date, albeit in a very roundabout way. It warmed her heart though, seeing her so soft. It was a side very few people ever got to see.

“Ok, sure. I’d really like that.”

Natasha smiled. “Now I know where you sleep, I’ll come pick you up.”

Y/n scrunched her nose at the odd phrasing. “You had to make it weird.”

“You know me,” she replied with a wink.

~~~

That date was a catalyst for many more to follow, and many midnight training sessions too. It took six more months of flirting and secret meet ups before Natasha pulled her heart out and wore it on her sleeve, asking Y/n to be her girlfriend.

The agent wasn’t stupid, of course she said yes. And at first their relationship was purely in the honeymoon stages; sneaking kisses in the hallway, comforting touches underneath the table, more midnight training and also moving in together. Natasha’s apartment was bigger than Y/n could ever have imagined and she adored the bed, starfishing face down on the mattress the first time she saw it.

But that was two years ago. Sure, they were still very much in love but something had shifted between them, creating a rift that Y/n had started to notice more and more. She knew what was causing it too.

Natasha was going on missions every other week, for days at a time. And she’d fallen back into her old habits, putting the job and the result over the safety of herself. More times than not did she come battered and bruised, open wounds bleeding as she walked into the bedroom. Y/n begged her to stop, to stay home more, to reduce the amount she went on even just to one a month, but her desperate attempts were met with a slammed door and a wall in Natasha’s mind. But she still persisted, trying again the next time Natasha came home. But it was useless.

Y/n always waited up for her though, the nerves of what state Natasha would be in when she returned making sleep pretty much impossible. Whatever she imagined, somehow it was always worse. She used to quiz Natasha as she led her into the bathroom and patched her up, placing kisses on each bruise that she found.

But now they barely said a word, Y/n almost running on autopilot as she cleaned cuts on Natasha’s back for what felt like the millionth time. It was draining her, anyone could see that, and being on edge all the time had made Maria notice.

“Take a week off to clear your head,” her supervisor had ordered, not taking any protests into consideration. “I don’t want to see you in this office before next Thursday, Y/l/n.”

A week off would have been great for anyone else but her. Natasha was away, again, which left Y/n with no ways to fully distract herself like she usually did to cope. She spent the first day in bed, holding onto Natasha’s pillow as her tears soaked the pillowcase. She hated how out of control she felt when Natasha was gone. It was her job, yet Y/n often wished Nat would retire, or at least pull back from constantly being in the field. But that’s what her girlfriend loved, so she had no choice but to respect it.

But on the third day of very little sleep and increasing stress levels, Y/n hit breaking point. She stared at her ghostly reflection as she splashed her face with some water, trying desperately to snap herself out of the lie she was feeling. But under the glaring lights all she could focus on were the heavy bags under her eyes and her discoloured skin, pink blotches littering her cheeks and forehead. She’d been picking at her skin to cope, but it did nothing but make her look worse.

She remained a zombie all day, curling back under the covers at 7pm to shut out the world. There was no telling when Natasha would return but part of her didn’t want it to be yet. She didn’t want to see the state she was in, the mess that she’d have to clean up. She loved Natasha, she really did, but with no contact allowed on her missions and no updates from the team, Y/n was starting to question if their relationship was even working.

She flicked off the light and turned to face the wall, images flashing in front of her as she worried herself stupid about her girlfriend. What if she wasn’t coming home? What if she’d been kidnapped? What if-

The apartment door opened.

Y/n held her breath, pulling the covers tightly under her chin as she waited. She knew the sound of Natasha’s footsteps based on her different moods, but the assassin stepped so lightly it was hard to tell. She felt footsteps getting closer and closer and she squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to face the horrors to come. She wanted one more blissful moment, but her heart was racing in her chest and her throat was getting tight.

The bedroom door opened.

Light from the living room flooded in through the small gap as Natasha stepped through, brows furrowed at the darkness. It wasn’t that late, but maybe she’d missed something. Wasn’t like she was around much.

“Y/n?” She whispered, not wanting to turn the light on. But she didn’t need to worry about that when suddenly the room was bathed in light. Her girlfriend was sat up in bed, eyes blotchy as she stared at her with a hand on the light switch. “What happened?”

“What hurts?” Y/n asked, sliding off her side of the bed and padding over to the bathroom. “Stitches? Probably bruising too.” She was talking to herself more than Natasha, hands working to gather her supplies. But she was stopped when a pair of rough hands gathered hers inside them, tugging her away from the sink. “What are you doing?”

“I’m ok,” Natasha said, removing one of her hands to gently cup Y/n’s chin, tilting her eyes to meet her own. “Just a couple of bruised ribs, but that’s nothing.”

“At least let me look at them.” Natasha knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer so she unzipped her suit and pulled it to her waist, revealing the nasty colourful sight. It was swollen and tender and Y/n cursed under her breath. She grabbed the tiger balm and gently applied it, trying to steady her shaking fingers as they touched Natasha’s skin.

“How have you been? How’s work?”

“Its fine, thanks.” Y/n wasn’t going to admit that Maria made her take a week off. She avoided Natasha’s gaze as she worked, even though there wasn’t much she could do for bruised ribs. “I’ll get you an ice pack when you’re dressed.” That was Natasha’s dismissal cue and she took it, but not without lingering in the doorway to watch Y/n for a moment.

By the time Natasha was dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, Y/n had wrapped the ice pack in a towel and handed it to her. There was an uneasy tension between them and Natasha could see something was on Y/n’s mind, just waiting to be said.

“Y/n-“

“This is your last one, right?” She couldn’t help herself but blurt out. Somehow she found the confidence with her back to Nat, sitting on her side of the bed. “Please tell me it’s your last one.”

“Of what?”

“Your missions, Natasha.” She bent one knee and tucked it beside her as she turned her body to face Natasha who was still standing in the middle of the room, ice pack pressed to her ribs. “How many times are you going to keep doing this? Coming home in a state! I never know if one day you’re just not going to come home at all.”

Natasha bit her bottom lip. She knew this was going to happen, it always did. And shutting Y/n down didn’t exactly get easier with practice. “Don’t do this again Y/n, please. You know what my answer is.”

“No, Natasha. I’m not gonna accept that anymore. I’m not asking you to quit all together. I just mean reduce the number you go on, take up desk work or surveillance, just something, anything, to get you out of the firing line.” Y/n ran her hands over her face, trying to keep herself together. But the more she spoke, the stronger her emotions got. “I can’t live like this anymore!”

Natasha had placed her ice pack on the bed, not feeling the need to hold it up right now. She couldn’t move, even though she wanted to run to Y/n. “I know you don’t like it-“

“I hate it.”

“Ok fine, you hate it,” she held her hands up in defense. “But that doesn’t mean I suddenly have to stop.”

Y/n stood up from her position, not wanting an ache in her back from turning so much. She and Natasha were now at eye level although the redhead’s stoic face was a lot more composed than her own.

“You’re not listening to anything I say. I never said you had to stop. Ever. Because that would be hypocritical coming from me.” Natasha pulled a ‘sounds about right’ face which Y/n just ignored. “I’m just asking you to reduce the amount you go on. Once a month, maybe? You can still be in the action, still do everything you love, but that way you’re safer and you’re here more. I hardly see you.”

Natasha shook her head. “Our line of work isn’t safe Y/n, even you know that surely.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She was getting defensive, having reached her limit of Natasha trying to shut her down.

Natasha was too stubborn to give up, even when she knew she fucked up. She just couldn’t let it go. “You rarely leave this place! Always stuck in the same office, the same four walls going insane every day! I don’t know how you do it! I’d rather quit than do that.”

“I do that because I can still contribute to the missions without the risk of getting blown to hell,” Y/n spat, taking full offense to Natasha talking down about her job. Sure, she didn’t go into the field as much as the other agents but she preferred to be in the chair, handling everything from above. “And you know damn well those missions you love don’t work without someone like me.”

“And that’s great, for someone like you. But I can’t do that, you have to understand me. I can’t be behind the fight, I have to be in it.”

“No one else goes on as many as you do, Natasha. Don’t you think that just once, someone else can take a mission-“

“I don’t care Y/n!” Natasha may be a passionate person but she never raised her voice. So her elevated tone made Y/n’s jaw clench, her innate response whenever someone shouted at her. “You don’t get to dictate my life! That wasn’t our agreement-“

“Agreement? What, so this is, are we some kind of, I don’t know, contract that you’re obliged to?”

Natasha scoffed, her eyes rolling back at the pure ridiculousness of her statement. This whole argument was pointless really but she entertained it, too stubborn to give in or let Y/n win. “Oh come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m just sick of lying here in fear every week wondering if you’re actually going to come home or not! I can’t keep doing this Nat.” Y/n was having a hard time keeping Natasha in her vision as tears blurred in her eyes. But she wouldn’t let them spill. Crying meant Natasha won and she was done with backing down.

“We can’t keep having this conversation, Y/n,” Natasha grunted, running her fingers through her hair and tugging out the messy braid. “You know I can’t stop. This is my life, it’s what I was made to do. I can’t live without this job!”

“And I can’t live without you!” Her voice cracked and a tear slipped down but she fought the urge to wipe it, praying Natasha didn’t see. But she did see. Of course she did. The Russian noticed everything.

Natasha went silent. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. In this line of work, relying so heavily on someone wasn’t a good idea. She knew that, it had been drilled into her since she was a child. But Y/n didn’t, and that’s where she slipped up.

“Don’t say that.” Heavy emotions and Natasha Romanoff didn’t really mix well. “You have to, one way or another. You can’t just rely on me Y/n.”

“Nat, I am in love with you but lately it feels like all you care about is your job. When is it going to feel like you actually want to be here? With me?”

“I do Y/n, I do-“

Y/n dropped her head. “I know there’s a but coming.”

Natasha looked at the defeated form of her girlfriend and winced. She never thought she’d ever be in the position where she had to choose between family and her job. But she knew what her choice would be, what it always had been. Long before she even had a family.

“This job means everything to me. I didn’t choose this life, like you did, I was forced into it. It’s part of who I am, and I can’t just stop doing that to be with you.” The second those words fell from her lips Natasha knew that was the wrong thing to say.

Y/n adjusted the collar of her shirt and started to pace. If she was sitting down her leg would have been bouncing all over the place.

“What, that’s it? You’re just gonna call this whole thing off because you can’t take a break from your job?”

“What ‘whole thing’?”

“Us, Natasha! Us!” Y/n stopped in her tracks, gesturing between them both. They were on opposite sides of the room, a clear divide in space and opinion. “Unless there isn’t an ‘us’ anymore. Maybe I’m just the girl who keeps your bed warm and stitches you up in the middle of the night, no questions asked. Occasionally gives you head if you are really in the mood-“

“Stop it Y/n.”

“Stop what? It’s the truth, isn’t it? That’s all I am to you.”

“‘No, you’re so much more.” Natasha’s fingers were fidgeting with each other and they’d stumbled across a small cut on her palm that they were now playing with, the pain trying to keep her grounded. “But you have to understand that I can’t just take a step back. I love this job more than anything because I actually get to do something good with my skills that have been used for the opposite my whole life. I just need you to understand that, please!”

“You’re not gonna stop, are you?” Natasha just stared at her, chewing on her bottom lip. “No matter what, you will keep coming back here in a mess and I will keep fixing you up and we will keep having this conversation. Is there an end to this?”

“I won’t come here then.” Natasha stated simply, eyes darting momentarily to the bathroom door. “I’ll go to medical, where I should be.”

“You hate it there.”

“You hate me here.”

Y/n sighed, her breath shaky. This was the longest they’d ever fought for, and fighting Natasha was mentally exhausting. She had an answer to everything.

“I don’t hate you here, I just wish you’d fucking listen to me for one goddamn second!” Natasha nodded, almost challenging her to speak.

“I am.”

“I didn’t want to say this, but you haven’t exactly given me much of a choice. It’s me or the job, Nat. You choose. And you know what? If you choose me, you still keep half your job! But if you choose the job, you don’t get to keep half of me.” The last part sounded stupid but Natasha knew what she meant. She only had half of Y/n right now. The half that slept in her bed and fixed her wounds. If she chose her, she’d get the other half she fell in love with back.

But she couldn’t, could she? Natasha looked down, not wanting to watch Y/n’s face respond. “I’m sorry…”

“Get out.” It was barely a whisper but Natasha heard it. “Get. Out.” Y/n didn’t want Natasha to see her cry but when their eyes met again, Y/n’s were flooded with tears. She didn’t care, how could she when the green ones staring back at her were so cold. Natasha didn’t say a word, only grabbing her sweatshirt and slipping out of the room. The faint jangle of her keys sounded as the door slammed shut and only then did Y/n allow her walls to come crumbling down.

She collapsed onto the bed, only this time hugging her own pillow close as she choked out her sobs. They echoed around the room and her gag reflex kicked in from how hard she was crying. But all she could see was Natasha’s emotionless face staring back at her, not a hint of remorse visible in her eyes.

Reaching to flick off the light, Y/n caught sight of something that made her cry harder. Her bedside table hadn’t been empty for two and a half years. A single picture frame now sat there. And it was in that moment that Y/n wished it had just stayed empty.

[missmonsters2]

Your Touch is My Shelter

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: 6 months later, Natasha returns from the dead. It's a tightly kept secret as it's unknown how she returned, but everyone claws and fights about who will keep watch over her like savages. You're far down the list of people who should protect her, but you find yourself unable to leave her be.

Warnings/Tags: hurt/comfort. undisclosed trauma. physical and mental signs of trauma. angst. somber assisted bath time. sad hair braiding. emphasis on hurt AND comfort.

Note: This takes place after endgame :-) the dates might be inaccurate idk i did my best 🥲 ha-ha enjoy 👁️👁️

Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Count: 5.2k

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You heard the news through Bruce. 

Well, it was through Bruce telling Pepper, and you just happened to be at the coffee machine getting shitty coffee. The quality drastically dropped since Tony was gone, and you've been putting off telling Pepper she needed to literally buy anything else. 

You didn't really know how long was the appropriate time for someone to grieve before you could ask if they could buy another brand of coffee.

Tony was gone. 

A part of you thinks you keep putting off telling Pepper because then you'd have to face—really face—he was gone. 

Steve was gone. 

What did it matter, really, in the grand scheme of things? Coffee was just coffee, and it'd probably taste fine if you just put a shitload of sugar and creamer in it. 

Vision was gone. 

Honestly, you only really noticed because it was the same brand as whatever was stocked up at the Avengers Compound. 

Natasha was gone. 

But perhaps the coffee always tasted bad at the Compound and it had nothing to do with Tony being gone. Natasha used to bring coffee into the office most days for people, and Clint filled in the other days. 

Maybe Tony Stark just liked shitty coffee, and you were only now just noticing it. 

Natasha was back. 

Your hand faltered at the coffee machine, spilling a little of it on your hand, and the burn stung immediately.

"Are you okay?" Bruce asked as he noticed you inhale a sharp breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You smiled awkwardly at him before looking at Pepper. "Morgan's fine. She just has the flu and her fever's gone down. Make sure she gets plenty of rest and fluids. I'm going to set up a humidifier for her and help her settle into bed with a movie and wait for her to fall asleep before I head out."

Pepper let out a heavy breath, putting her hand over her chest in relief. "Oh, perfect. Thank you so much for coming suddenly. I just—Morgan doesn't really like going to the hospital, and suddenly she started throwing up and having a fever—"

"It's fine, Pepper," you waved off her ramblings after you wiped what you spilled on the counter. "You can always call me if you need me."

"Seriously, I think I might just employ you full-time as a live-in doctor if you say that," Pepper joked, and you laughed. 

"I am already your live-in doctor, just for one of your research labs. instead."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You don't think about Natasha—at least, you try not to. 

You heard things here and there about it through Pepper. Apparently, she's being held in a government facility similar to The Raft, detained like some criminal they needed to study instead of the war hero who sacrificed everything to save the world. 

It made you sick to your stomach. 

But you hear that Clint, Bruce, and Nick Fury have been fighting to get custody of her, so you don't think about it. There were people who knew Natasha far better than you did and were way closer to her than you were. 

She was in good hands. 

So, you continue on with your daily routine to pass your monotonous days, unaware you're waiting for some kind of update.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The next time you heard about Natasha Romanoff, it was Clint and Bruce cornering you at your lab.

"What?" You panicked, tensing up. "Why me?"

"You're the only person Natasha ever sought out to treat her," Clint answered, and you felt even more lost at the fact he knew. "Natasha allows medical professionals onsite to help her, but there were times she left to go see you. That has to mean something."

But, of course, he knew. He was Natasha's...best friend. And Clint was an incredibly nosy person, even if Natasha didn't tell him. 

"I've only treated her a handful of times—literally only five times. I don't know her that well," you shook your head, trying to walk around them. "I didn't even know she had a sister until you told me."

"Please," Clint begged. "I'm fighting to get her out, and the doctors they have looking after her are shady and callous with her. I can only visit her with Nick's influence, but it's not enough to get her out of there."

"And what do you suppose I can do?"

"You're a renowned cellular biologist," Bruce cut in. "If they're holding her for research, we want someone on our side who will at least treat her like a human being. The faster we get answers, the faster we can get her out."

"Please," Clint begged again. "Natasha needs help. She's...different. And it's only going to get worse if she remains in there. She's not talking, and they won't let her go until they can find some answers."

It felt wrong. 

You don't want to study Natasha Romanoff like an animal. Despite being a scientist with an inquisitive mind, you don't care about how she returned.

But it sounded like Natasha would be researched whether you liked it or not. And if that was the case, you do wonder how the other doctors may be treating her.

"Fine, we're going first thing in the morning," you gritted out, unable to block out the handful of memories of times you've treated her.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

June 2012

"Oo, that looks painful," you hissed in sympathy as a redhead with a busted lip and nasty gash on her temple entered the med bay.

There was a snort that sounded like a half-grunt. "It looks worse than it feels. I hope I'm not intruding, but Tony said I should see you to be treated."

"Natasha, right?" You asked slowly, gesturing to a seat for her to take as you grabbed some medical supplies. 

"Yes," Natasha replied, equally slow with caution.

"Tony talks about you a lot," you tried to reassure her of whatever paranoia she might have. It probably didn't help that Natasha was still in her catsuit and probably would've preferred to be called by her alias.

"Well, don't believe everything he says," Natasha gives a light but somewhat tight smile. 

"Oh, so you aren't a unique woman with high intellect, sneaky, and rightfully smug?" You teased, and it was flattering that you could make a superhero laugh. 

You began treating Natasha's wound carefully. 

"You're pretty good at this, doc," Natasha commented as you blew on her brow, even if it didn't sting. "You're pretty gentle. Must be why Tony says you're his personal doctor."

You chuckled. "I'm actually a cellular biologist. Tony is funding my research and pretty much my lifestyle. With the money he's paying me, he can come crying about his boo-boos anytime. Although, he doesn't really come to me for serious stuff. It's usually if he has something ridiculous like a papercut."

"But you can treat wounds and other medical things?" 

"I was on my way to becoming a medical doctor before I decided to go into research instead."

"Huh," Natasha hummed, raising her brow at you. "Smart cookie."

"I'd like to think so," you finished cleaning Natasha's wound and putting a bandaid over it. "Feel free to come see me if you need any other basic medical aid. For a pretty redhead, it's free of charge."

"And if I come back blonde?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," you smiled, and Natasha smirked back at you.

"Smart and funny. Tony has it too good."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

April 2014

"This is the worst bandage job I've ever seen. Who did you go to see for this? A grocery clerk?"

Natasha grunted. "Hi, to you too, doc."

You looked at Natasha, noticing how different her hair is now. But it's been about two years since you have seen her. Despite your offer for her to come to you anytime she needed help, she never did. Or she rarely did, you supposed. 

You could only deduce that Natasha was used to caring for her wounds on her own. That, or she didn't trust you. 

"Alright, let's go to my office," you sighed. 

"Am I interrupting?"

"Not really, kind of hit a brick wall."

"Oh, me too."

You looked over at Natasha, who had a straight face, but you noticed the bruise on her temple outside the obvious gun wound on her shoulder.

You pursed your lips. "Will you hate me if I laugh?"

"Not at all. On the contrary, I may like you less if you don't."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

June 2015

"You know, when I told you that you could come for me for basic medical aid, I feel like you didn't understand the meaning of basic."

"Is this too complicated for you?"

"No."

"Then am I unwelcomed?"

You pursed your lips at the redhead, who stared at you with a tiny upward quirk on her lip. "No," you sighed. "Just not sure why you'd want to see me for such serious wounds. There are other more experienced doctors."

You lift Natasha's shirt up, looking at the long gash on the side of her stomach. "We're gonna need to stitch this up. I've been doing research with Dr. Cho, and we have a new machine that can help with cell tissue generation. It would be faster than me manually stitching—"

"It's fine," Natasha declined. "I'd prefer if you manually did it."

You frown lightly at the fact but relent to the redhead's wishes. Another year passes, and Natasha's hair has changed again. 

You worked silently on cleaning Natasha's wound, and she also declined the anesthetic. You focus on stitching up the wound with precision and care.

"I like to go to you for some things because your touch is gentle," Natasha said quietly, but it felt so loud in the silent room. "It makes me feel human when I can feel your touch."

You looked over at her face briefly, but Natasha wasn't looking at you. You don't take any deeper meaning into it. She's someone who's probably felt dehumanized most of her life. The machines that can heal her twice as fast would be fine for life-threatening injuries, but it probably all feels clinical. 

You looked back down at the stitch. "Well, as long as you're a redhead, it's free of charge."

"Don't kid yourself, I would look perfect blonde."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

September 2016

"What are you doing here?" You hissed as you pulled Natasha in quickly, peering outside before shutting the door. 

"Why? Am I unwelcomed now?" Natasha's tone sounded a little hurt, and you scan her body. She didn't seem to be bleeding anywhere that required immediate attention, but you did notice crusted blood at the edge of her nostrils. 

"No, but you could get caught here," you shook your head at her. "They're looking for you and the rest of team cap everywhere."

Natasha shrugged. "I highly doubt Tony has your place under surveillance. We don't meet enough for anyone to consider looking for me through you."

You sighed, not sure what to feel about the statement. "I suppose. I don't work for Tony anymore, anyway."

Natasha's brows furrowed.

"Why?"

"I don't agree with what he's doing."

"So you're on Steve's side?"

"No, I think Steve was obstinate too. They're both stupid. Men are stupid."

Natasha laughed before wincing as she held her nose.

"What happened?" You brought her over to your couch before finding your first aid kit.

"I broke my nose," Natasha shrugged. "Can you believe breaking my nose saved millions of girls?"

"With you? Yes." You smirked as you tilted her head to look at the injury closer. "Lucky you. Looks like you don't need surgery. Do you always come here immediately after you save the world?"

"Yep."

"Couldn't even clean your nose before you did?"

"And deprive you of giving me care? I wouldn't dare."

You snorted, carefully cleaning the blood in and around her nose. It was silent again before Natasha spoke up.

"So, what happened with your research stuff now that Tony's not sponsoring your work?"

"Pepper is funding it, even though she knows I won't share anything with Stark Industries at the moment. She doesn't want me to sell my research or provide any data to other companies."

"Smart cookie."

"And a really hot blonde."

"This feels targeted. It's like you know I might dye my hair blonde soon."

"You're still a redhead; I have no idea what you mean. I like your hair, though. Braids look good on you."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

June 2018

Natasha showed up at your front step, holding her rib. There's a look of genuine relief at seeing you.

"You're still here," her voice sounds empty and hollow. "You're still here."

You pulled her inside gently. You're still in shock yourself. You were on a walk when people started disappearing left and right. The sheer panic on the streets was chaos as you were dialing Pepper frantically, almost crying when she picked up the phone. Then there were actual tears when you called other people in your life, and half of them didn't pick up...and they weren't going to. 

"I'm here," you swallowed. "What happened to your rib?"

"I don't know." Natasha looked so lost. There was the look of failure and self-blame all over her face. 

"Does it hurt?"

"I don't know."

You grasp her wrist, carefully moving her hand away from her rib before gently putting your fingertips against them. Your fingers trail up, down, and around. 

Suddenly, Natasha broke into tears. 

"Does it hurt?" You asked, panicked.

"You're still here," was all Natasha choked through her tears.

You didn't know what to do other than treat her wounds more gently than ever before while reassuring her you hadn't disappeared. You were one of the many people on this planet still here. And when she was better, she'd get the rest of them back. 

It was a long and exhausting night, and Natasha fell asleep in your bed, and you made sure she was comfortable before leaving to sleep on the couch.

Natasha's hair has changed again.

"You look good blonde."

That was the last time you saw her. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Natasha's hair has changed again. She's gone back to being a redhead with blonde tips. Her hair was a mess, barely brushed, and looked knotted. 

The room was big and had padded walls, a singular bed in one corner, and a toilet and sink in another. There were lights in parts of the cell but also areas of darkness. It looked like a fucking prison cell. 

You were looking through an unbreakable glass window, the middle holding up a microphone you assumed was linked to the speaker in the room.

Natasha stood in the middle of the room under the light in a hospital gown falling off her shoulder. Her hands were covered in scars, and her lips were so chapped, you were sure they'd split even if Natasha breathed the wrong way. 

Natasha was only a few feet away from you, but it felt like she was a million miles away.

They let you see her alone under the guise of privacy as you saw her.

You felt you weren't supposed to see this—see her like this. 

A sense of dread filled you at the blank expression on Natasha's face at what she'd gone through—what she was still going through. 

She was a hero, and this was how they were treating her? This was someone who had fought wars repeatedly for this stupid country and the rest of the world, and they had her locked up like a mental ward patient from the 1600s.

You thought the government had gotten better. There were reforms and peace after people came back from the snap. This wasn't how they were supposed to treat someone who'd given up their life to ensure everyone got theirs. 

It shouldn't matter that she came back; she had still given it up in the first place for them. 

Natasha didn't even seem to recognize you through the glass as you stepped closer to the microphone. She looked past you as if she could tell the exit was somewhere behind you. 

"Natasha?" You said into the mic, and it bellowed into the room.

Nothing. 

"Nat?" 

Natasha's eyes were listless. She was a broken, empty shell that seemed more like an animated corpse than actually being alive.

You swallowed, trying one more time. "You're still a redhead. Looks like it's still free of charge."

Natasha's eyes flickered this time, her head tilts towards you as she blinked with focus. It was just a spark, but it was something, and relief spreads through you. 

"Not completely." You could barely hear her voice, but it was coarse. Cold.

There should've been a joke about some kind of discount, but Natasha didn't make it. You were speechless.

You didn't know what to say. Don't worry, you're trapped in here, but I'm going to help with the research, and hopefully, we'll get you out soon?

It was like prolonging a death sentence. You were horrified.

"Just—wait for me," the words flew out of your mouth so fast but you meant them with every ounce of your being. "You're gonna go home with me today."

Natasha's eyes sparked at the words but just as quick as you saw it, they died out, falling back into listlessness. She turned, stepping into a darkened corner away from your view and prying eyes of the cameras as she said, "No, I'm not."

You realized she's probably spent weeks watching Clint, Bruce, and Fury try to get her out unsuccessfully.

The resignation made something lurch in your throat and eyes sting with desperation and rage. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"So, we can send you a contract—"

"You're going to release her to my custody," you cut off some government official. He was old, wearing some kind of toupee that was slicked back to hide his balding head. 

He looked at you in disbelief, almost laughing like you were some stupid, naive young girl. 

He looks at Clint and Bruce, who are also just looking at you in shock.

"As I've told your friends and Nick Fury, this is out of their hands. The Accords are still intact as of right now, therefore—"

"I don't care about the Accords. You will release her into my care. I'm more than qualified and I have the resources to find the inane answers you're looking for while rehabilitating Agent Romanoff," you cut him off again, able to tell that it was irking him. 

"That won't be necessary as you can see we have the resources here," the government official raised his brow at you.

"Your resources can't compete with Stark's resources."

It was no secret that Tony had left a very sizable fortune to you in his will, outside of everything he gave to Pepper and Morgan. And it was also no secret how close you were with the surviving Starks. 

"Doctor," the government official sighed, obviously making it sound like you were a nuisance. "If you're not here to join our research team, I suggest you go on your way and remember the NDA you signed."

You glared at him even more. "I'm not leaving without Agent Romanoff. You will hand her over to me, or you will regret it."

"And exactly how will I regret it?" The government official looked smug, and you smirked back at him.

"I'm still in talks with the government regarding my research, and I will pull out and sell that information outside of this country as I'm free to do so. I know Dr. Cho is in talks between the US and South Korea about her nano-technology. One word from me, and America can fall behind on those advancements as well." You pulled out your cell phone in a threatening manner. "Pepper and I will pull out all of our money from the very same banks and company investments that you're supporting and make you watch as they collapse one after another."

"You'd ruin our entire economy—our country by doing so!" The official was red in the face. "You'd put your entire country into chaos?" He sneered at you.

"I will if you don't give me Agent Romanoff!" You sneered back at him. "It's not like you won't eventually get your research and answers if she's in my custody. It works in both our favor."

The official is staring at you, glaring and seething.

"I imagine your colleagues and superiors will pin the blame on you if this entire economy and country goes into ruin because if I have to do that, I will say that it's the government's fault. The NDA said I can't specifically talk about Natasha and this place, which I won't. But I'm sure some journalist will discover the truth and plaster all over the news what you're doing to a war hero," your voice was so vindictive; you're not sure if you've ever been so cold before. 

"So," your voice was flat, devoid of emotion now. "What will it be?"

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

It was agreed that Natasha would stay in a cabin that Pepper owned out in the countryside. You were to provide monthly updates on your research and rehabilitation progress. And while this was in headway, neither you nor Natasha was free to leave the country or this planet. 

Clint initially wanted you and Natasha to stay with him and his family, but you declined. You pointed out that it would be hard for him and his family—his children, especially—to see Natasha like this. 

Pepper had everything prepared while you gingerly collected Natasha.

"We're going home, Natasha," you said softly, shrugging off your jacket to wrap around her shoulders. But Natasha still didn't react, even if she let you take her hand and drag her out of the facility. 

During the car ride, you mentally planned what you needed to do. Natasha needed to eat, take a bath, and rest. 

"Have you eaten yet?" You asked the redhead, sitting stoically in the car, straight as a rod. 

There was no answer. Natasha was peering out the windshield, her hands perfectly on both thighs. Clint looked worried as he looked at you.

"Natasha?" You gently placed her hand over hers. You could feel the bumps of the white scars over her hand. A part of you is too frightened to ask where she got these from. 

Natasha looked down at your hand over hers before looking at you. Her eyes were so empty. Such a dull green like dying grass.

"Did you eat?" 

Natasha nodded once before looking back outside the windshield. 

You looked at Clint, trying to give him a reassuring smile, but deep down, you were afraid you had no idea what the fuck you were doing. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"Pepper says you've been here before, but let me know if you need help finding anything," you brought her into the house where Natasha just stood, looking at nothing in particular. 

"Um," you took a shaky breath. "How about a bath? I'm sure it'll be good to get the grime and stale air off of you." 

Natasha didn't move on her own, so you began to lead her up the stairs to the bathroom. 

It was a detached tub near the high window to get plenty of sunlight without anyone being able to peer in. 

"I'll just get this started for you," you offered. Turning on the tap and pouring in a liquid that formed into bubbles. "Just make sure to check the temperature and adjust. Pepper says that sometimes that faucet can be a little finicky."

You turned to Natasha, who stood there, staring at the wall. She was unmoving, making no gesture if she was waiting for you to get out or to start undressing.

"Do you, um, need help?" You asked, but there was no answer. 

Maybe it would wake her up a little once she was in the water. 

"I'm—" you took a long breath in. "I'm gonna help you undress and get into the tub. If you get uncomfortable at any point, let me know and I can stop or do something else."

It wasn't like you've never seen a naked body before. You've seen plenty both in your sex life and field of work. You've even seen parts of Natasha's body when you've treated her. You just never thought you'd see Natasha fully naked. 

You slid your jacket off her shoulders, letting out a puff of breath. You looked past her as you undid the string of her hospital gown. You looked up when you slid down her underwear before guiding her towards the tub. Your gentle guiding seemed to spark Natasha into mechanically climbing into it herself the rest of the way. 

"Okay, cool. Um," you stuttered. "I'm sure you've been through a lot. Once you're done, we can get you into bed and if you're hungry later, I can make you something."

You were getting used to the lack of answers, but it didn't make your stomach drop any less. "Just let me know if you need anything."

You don't wait for a response this time, leaving without shutting the door fully. Down the hall, you leaned against the wall, swallowing harshly. 

It feels like you brought a lifeless shell home. A part of you wonders if Natasha really did return or if this was just some lifeless doll. 

You didn't want to think about it anymore, so you pushed yourself off the wall and into a bedroom with a suitcase and unzipped it open to grab some clothes.

When you were heading back, you heard the water still running and frowned. 

"Natasha?" You called as you opened the door. The tub was overfilling, and you rushed to turn off the faucet, trying to not slip.

Natasha was sitting how you left her, staring ahead at the running water but not really looking at it.

You sighed, relieved that the bathroom floor was designed with wood and curved so that any water would naturally run towards a drain in the floor. 

You go to check the temperature of the water and find that while it was initially fine when you turned it on, Natasha hadn't attempted to adjust it, and the finicky faucet ran nearly scalding water. 

"Jesus, Natasha, you're going to hurt yourself," you yelped. You braced through it and stuck your hand in to drain the tub halfway.

You inwardly sighed, knowing you would have to help Natasha through the entire process. You began to refill the tub, monitoring the temperature and shut it off when it was filled adequately. 

"I'm going to help wash you if that's okay," you muttered. "Just let me know if you prefer to do it yourself at any point."

You grabbed a nearby stool and sat on it before grabbing the loofa. You began with Natasha's shoulders and arms, trying to wash parts of her that were easy to access.

Natasha tensed as you washed her, so you tried to be more slow and careful. 

"It's just me," you said softly, trying to reassure the redhead. "I've always taken care of you."

Natasha said nothing, but her shoulders relaxed slightly as you continued. There wasn't much dirt on her, but the stale air that was surrounding her began to fade away. 

Her knees were propped up, folded to her chest, and you washed down her thighs and legs, trying to not think of anything too much as you did it. You tried not to think about the scars on her hands and feet. 

Readjusting your stool, you went to sit behind her. You used a cup to wet Natasha's hair, trying to detangle some of it gently first. It was then you discovered a shaven spot in the back of her head, where there was a large scar. You realized that was where Natasha's head hit the ground when she—

You swallowed, trying to suppress the anger that they shaved her head to get a look at something so private. 

You squeezed a considerable amount of shampoo in your hands and gently rubbed it into her scalp. Natasha tensed at first before your fingers massaging her scalp made her relax, her body leaning back against the tub and her head into your hands. 

It was quiet as you did this. You shampooed her hair twice before slathering it up in conditioner and finally getting out the rest of the knots. You drained the tub, grabbing the shower head to rinse her down once more before you grabbed a towel and helped her out. 

You helped put a bathrobe around her to help dry her as you didn't think you had the gall to fully dry every part of her by hand. Grabbing her clothes, you led her to her bedroom, setting her down on the bed. 

Natasha sat silently as you towel-dried her hair with gentle hands. Her eyes fell closed as you began to blow dry it. Your soft fingers tousling her hair. 

So delicate. 

When it was dry, you set the blow dryer aside. 

"Hm, your hair is pretty sensitive and might be for the next week. It might be better to braid it so it doesn't tangle and break when you're sleeping," you commented, mostly to yourself. 

You took sections of her hair, delicately beginning to put her hair into a french braid. 

"You've always had beautiful hair, red or blonde," you complimented Natasha as you finished. You moved to sit in front of her to check if you did okay from the front. There wasn't a response, but Natasha opened her eyes. They focused on you, looking at you as they traced over the features of your face. She was studying you apprehensively. 

Natasha lifted a hand, slowly reaching up as her fingers brushed the side of your face. It felt bumpy from the scars, but it made the back of your throat burn. 

"Am I really here?" Natasha mumbled as she then traced your cheek before your lips. "Am I really here with you?"

Your eyes were burning now. You couldn't even answer right away because you were afraid your lips would start trembling. 

You lifted your hand, hesitating at first, before you held her hand against your face. "Yeah, you're really here."

The edges of Natasha's eyes began to brim with tears. 

"When I jumped, I didn't die right away," Natasha whispered. "There was a feeling that something bad was going to happen. It didn't get me yet, but it was going to."

You couldn't help the tears that began to fall over the edge of your eyes when they overfilled. 

"Something bad happened to me," Natasha's lip trembled. "It's still happening to me."

You gripped her hand tighter unintentionally, but it was like it grounded Natasha. 

"I was scared," Natasha admitted. "I was scared that even if you came to me, it wouldn't go away."

Then, Natasha grabbed your hand and placed it against her cheek. It was still warm from the bath and blow dryer. 

"But I can feel your touch," Natasha sighed like it was a relief. "It's gentle and I feel human. I'm scared I'm not really here."

"You are."

Your throat felt clogged with raw emotions, and you didn't know what to do with it. You've only seen Natasha a handful of times, and maybe it's because the more you do, the more emotionally charged you both feel. 

"You're really here," you told Natasha, using your thumb to caress her cheek. You didn't know what else to say. 

All you can do is offer her shelter under your touch.

[writersblockedx]

Challenged Expectations

Pairing - Loki x Fem!Reader Summary - When Loki joins the Avengers team, he certainly isn't given a warm welcome. Until one night, he opens up to yourself. Warnings - Some violence? Words - 2.5K

Masterlist

It wasn't up to you whether it was a good idea or not. Frankly, if you were sat at the head of the Avengers table, you might have suggested against it. And Tony Stalk certainly had done, but he wasn't the one at the head of the table (despite what he wanted to think); Nicky Fury was. What he said went and you weren't stupid enough to pick a fight with Nick Fury.

Tony, however, Tony was that stupid.

"He's the bad guy Fury, we put him in that prison cell in the first place!"

"It's called rehabilitation."

You glanced at Nat: head in her hands. You weren't wasting your time sat in that seat any longer. Without a word, you took your papers which you attended the meeting for and headed for the door. Your attempt to escape didn't go unnoticed; you were stupid to think that it would.

Tony's glare swapped to you, his fingers snapping before your hand could even reach the glass door which separated the meeting room from the rest of the quarters. "Hey, hey, where do you think you're going? We're in the middle of something."

"No," You gestured between him and Fury, "You two are in the middle of something and I'm not in the mood to be listening to it anymore." Just before you slipped away, you made sure to add, "And just so you know, you're wasting your breath."

You wished Tony had believed you. But he was more naive than he cared to believe.

He made it quite known to you all when the papers had been signed, that he was pleased he wasn't living in the compound. Truth was, everyone was apprehensive. Even Fury's fingers itched as the move-in day crept closer and closer. His bedroom was being made. You watched as emerald bed sheets were covered across the once blank slate of the spare room, specs of golden decor and the thing which confused you most: a bookshelf. It was never your first assumption that ex-super-villains were bookworms.

When the day finally arrived, New York was quiet. The news had broke to the public and suddenly all eyes were on the team, watching as they welcomed someone who was once such a foe to them all.

You had been watching from the training room's floor-to-ceiling windows. A beam of light shot to the entrance and there he stood, amid Asgardian and Avenger security. His wrists were cuffed, stopping him from hugging his brother as Thor welcomed him. Though, you did wonder, even if the man wasn't cuffed, would they have even wanted to hug? Thor had always spoken fondly of his brother but accepted his faults and quite brutal mistakes. To him, however, rehabilitation was an excuse he could get behind. The rest of the team still weren't fully convinced.

You would remember the next moment for the rest of your life. Just as you were staring down from the window, fidgeting with the blade between your fingers you had been practising with, the man below turned his head. And his eyes met with yours. He didn't blink, nor did he make any expression. He just stared and you could never forget the feeling of shivers which crept up your back.

It was an hour later, after you had finished training and freshened up when you met the man for the first time. Well, when he re-introduced himself.

The two brothers sat at the breakfast bar, sharing some Asgardian liquor you were far too human to even. You were, however, on the hunt for dinner. The second you stepped foot into the kitchen, their casual conversation slowed and eyes flickered to you. Ones of which you attempted to ignore. But then he stood and you had almost forgotten how tall he was when he was standing over you like that.

Your eyes had widened, his sudden stance having taken you aback. He offered a hand, "Loki," He grinned as if you didn't already know.

You shook his hand. But it was light, quick and futile. "We have met before." You muttered, opening the fridge door and trying to spot what would be the quickest to make: noodles.

 "Under much different circumstances, of course." He went on.

You glanced to him. He was still standing; why was he still standing? "Which is why it's going to take much more of a handshake to just move on."

Loki accepted that, took one look at your turned back and moved to sit back with his brother.

To be fair to the man, he didn't create much fuss about his unwelcoming welcome. In fact, he seemed to have already accepted that to be the case before he ever even stepped foot in the compound. And the rest of the team were happy with that; letting him get on with things silently. Not that it had lasted for long.

A certain heist mission had made Loki tip. He, you, Natasha and Tony were to retrieve a piece of alien tech that had fallen into the wrong hands. Some warehouse off the Amalfi cost was looking to trade said piece of technology into even worse hands. Easy job. One of which at least three of you had done several times before. Now should have been no different. But now you had Loki. Even before you stepped onto the jet, things were tense.

It got even worse when the warehouse had a better defence than any of you had imagined. "Where the hell are you guys?" Stalk chimed into your earpiece.

You and Natasha were practically back to back, protecting the few citizens who populated the small island (living right next to criminals they didn't know existed). Your blade was swirling across a soldier's throat before you dared to answer Stalk, "Me and Romonoff have our hands tied right now."

"Doing what? Kissing each other's asses." He sneered.

Your elbow hit the gut of another soldier, "I wish." Natasha huffed.

"We're at the back of the warehouse." A punch to his chin. Another. He went down after the third. Though, you weren't certain he was dead. "There's citizens we didn't know about."

Tony paused and then you heard a sigh through your ear. "Well I've got the bloody hydro-whatever it's called and I've also got a huge group of soldiers 30 seconds away from man-handling me for it!" There was an anger laced in his tone.

You glanced to Natasha who had just pulled the trigger of her gun; another five soldiers awaited their turn to fight you both. "We're tied up Tony." You admitted as you readied yourself for the bruises to come. 

There was, of course, one other option. An option of which Tony refused to ask for. So, for what you thought must have been the first time, you heard Loki's voice come through. "I'm right around the corner from you."

You never saw it happen. You just heard their voices. In the midst of keeping the soldiers in front of you at bay, you heard their argument unfold.

"What are you doing?" Said Loki, a panic growing in his tone that made it hard to concentrate and instantly raised the question: what was Tony doing? "Stalk! I'm here." A moment passed. "Pass it me!"

It was quiet when it came but each of you heard it loud and clear: "Not happening."

The travel home was mockingly quiet. Tony navigated the jet back to the compound, you and Nat sat across from one another in silence and Loki scoured the corner of the ship, as far from Tony as he could get. For once, you didn't blame him. You had failed this mission because Tony refused to work as a team. And now God knows where that piece of Tech was heading.

But even that travel home could not compare to the wrath Fury had been waiting to give you all.

"The three of you," He glared between Tony, yourself and Natasha. You had all been seated on a sofa while Fury paced the room. "Are some of my top agents-"

Tony raised his hand, "I'm not one of your agents."

"I wouldn't even start, Stalk." Fury's tone cut through the atmosphere like a knife to butter. "You're the reason we got into this mess." He made clear. "Teamwork. That's what the Avengers are, it's what we strive to create. Which was why I was certain bringing in Loki would work, his skills are what we need right now and I had my confidence in all of you that you would accept that."

Discreetly, your head turned to the dark-haired man. He was sat at the edge of the sofa while the three of you seemed huddled together. He didn't seem smug, nor did he seem upset. If anything, he was just disappointed to be sat in front of Fury this way. "You," Fury was looking only at Tony now, "It's your responsibility to make this right now. Get that tech before it blows up a European country."

The failed mission had hit all of the team. The air was thick and any words spoken between the Avengers did little to clear that. You didn't dare address it. Rather, for most of that week, you secluded yourself in your room, or the training grounds, doing whatever you could to ignore the memory of what had happened.

One night, your mind simply wouldn't shut off. It was tossing and turning around the idea of where that tech was right now and what they were planning to do with it. And as much as you repeatedly told yourself it wasn't your fault and that Tony was tracking the tech, it didn't help much with your insomnia. So rather than wallow in your bed, you crawled from it and wandered into the kitchen. A drink might just help you.

You thought you were alone. It was dark and quiet. So why ever would you think that there was someone watching you from the sofa adjacent from the kitchen. "What are you doing?"

You had practically jumped from your skin, "Jesus!" You turned, mug gripped in your hands as you faced the black-haired God. "What the hell, Loki!"

He slid from the sofa, "I didn't mean to scare you."

Your head clocked to the side, unimpressed, "Really?"

"Really." For once, he seemed sincere. "I'll ask again, what are you doing?"

"Couldn't sleep." Your gaze followed him as he slowly gained closer to you. "Thought a drink might help."

He didn't say anything, only looked back at where he was sitting. There, by the sofa he had been lying on, was a half-empty glass and a bottle of wine. "Suppose I had a different sort of drink in mind."

You don't know what pulled you to your decision but suddenly, you were putting back the mug and instead, taking out another wine glass. The man across from you smirked before leading the way back over to the living area. "I'm only doing this because I think it will help me sleep." You made clear.

"I wouldn't expect anything else." His words had given a slight tinge in your chest. One of which you chose to ignore. Anything that resembled sympathy for Loki was something you were always going to ignore, but it was something which had become more common recently. "Is it the mission?" He questioned, seemingly without a beat. "Or failed mission as everyone makes sure to name it." 

You looked to the red obis that swirled in front of you. That was easier than staring into the curious eyes of Loki, "Ding, ding, ding." Your laugh was hoarse, "I just can't stop thinking about what else I could have done."

"Nothing." His words cut through you like a dagger. Your eyes shot up; his were already trailing across you. "You and Romanoff were miles away. This failed mission was one person's fault and everyone knows that." 

Suddenly, his eyes weren't so intimidating. Perpahs they were even inviting like a warm bath ready to engulf your skin. "Are you enjoying this? Proving Tony wrong, being praised due to his downfall."

His head shook lightly, "No, I haven't enjoyed causing others embarrassment for some time now." Certainly hadn't been the answer you expected. "But I can't say I'm not happy that people are finally waking up."

His words caused your brow to quirk, "Waking up to what?" 

He chuckled into his wine, "Oh, come on, I don't need to spell it out for you." The look that you shot back at the man suggested that he did in fact have to spell it out. "Ignoring me, pretending as if I'm not there, that's only going to cause problems. In this case, a big problem." With that, he took a long sip from his glass, not breaking eye contact with you.

For a moment, you were unsure what to say. Suppose that's what you get for agreeing to sit down with the ex-villain; things were bound to get awkward. "I'm sorry we-" You stopped yourself and your gaze dropped to the floor. "I made you feel that way." You made sure to correct yourself. 

"It was to be expected."

Your eyes gazed back at him; silence. But not so awkward any more. It seemed that barrier had been broken now. A huff fell from your lips as you threw yourself further into the sofa, shoulder to shoulder with the God himself. You needed only turn your head now, only slightly, and suddenly there were only inches between the two of you. "And you don't want to be king anymore?"

He laughed ever so softly it seemed to tug you closer, like you were a fish on a hook, ready to dangle from Loki's fingertips. "No, no, my royal days are over." He seemed sure of such.

A second or so passed until you became curious again, "Then what do you want?" Why else was he here?

You were staring up at him; them inches between you were slowly getting smaller. "I'm not sure." His voice only a breathless whisper hitting your skin, erupting goosebumps. "I think I'm-" He paused as you both became ever so aware of what was about to follow. "I'm figuring things out-"

His lips hit yours. All patience was lost, the need to finish his words left him and suddenly his mind was engulfed by the thought of your kiss. And when you pulled from it, your pupils lingering on his, you should have been regretful. You should have been thinking about what Stalk was going to say, or the consequences fury would make sure fell to you or even the teasing Natasha and Steve were sure to make. Instead, all you could think about was how at peace you felt and how you were already desperate for more. 

[buffyromanoff]

''Let it out''

Inspired by the Taylor Swift lyric ''you drew stars around my scars but now im bleeding'' submitted by anon and @wifeofnatasharomanoff.

Summary: After being gone on a months-long mission, Natasha needs your support...but she doesn't realize it till its too late.

Warnings: Ptsd related panic attack.

Genre: Slight angst, fluffy comfort

Word count: 1.3k

----------------------------------------------------------------

‘‘Y/n, may I speak with you privately?’’ Nick Fury asked as you were about to leave after a meeting.

‘‘Uh, yes, of course, boss. What is it?’’ you replied.

‘Why don't you have a seat, Agent?’ Fury gestured towards a chair.

The look on his face gave it away. It was about Natasha.

‘Is she okay?’ Your voice trembled as you fought back your tears that were ready to come out.

‘Physically, she is fine, but... she's going to need you.’ Nick slid a leave document across the table. ‘I just need you to sign this, and then you're free to go home.’

‘Where is she? What the hell happened?!’ You demanded answers. Fury was always so secretive.

‘We'll be bringing her home to you as soon as you get there.’

And so you did. Hoping for the best but expecting the worst, you drove home and waited for them to bring your girlfriend back to you.

--------------------------------------

The past few days had been bittersweet. You were thrilled to have Nat back home with you after her months-long mission with the rest of the team, but it weighed on you to see her suffering.

Natasha was a private person when it came to her trauma. It wasn't because she didn't trust you, but rather she didn't want to burden you with her struggles. Since her return, she had managed to hide it well. After that conversation with Fury, you expected her to be shattered and completely broken…except she wasn't, at least not for the first few days.

You could say Nat was an amazing actress, but you noticed her mask was starting to fade away.

‘Wow, that smells good,’ Nat said as she entered the kitchen.

‘It does, doesn't it? I hope it tastes as good as it smells, though,’ you giggled.

‘I'm sure it will, malyshka.’ She gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and sat on the counter with her book.

"We have perfectly good sofas and chairs in case you didn't know’’ you teased with sarcasm.

‘Meh, I prefer to sit here.’ Her cat, Liho, jumped on the counter with her. ‘Up here, I have a pretty good view of the sexy chef.’ She whispered teasingly, causing you to blush.

Liho started jumping around the kitchen counters, making a mess.

‘Nat, please control your cat before he jumps on the stove and burns his whiskers off.’

‘Hey, come here, little one,’ she called, but it was useless. Liho was in a playful mood and he was not taking orders from anyone.

The cat ran behind a pile of pots and pans, causing them to slide off the counter and crash onto the floor, creating a loud noise that made your heart skip a beat.

‘Jesus Christ, that scared me so bad, Liho, you little...’ You turned around, laughing, only to find your girlfriend standing in the corner, hyperventilating.

‘Nat?’ You reached out your arm, but she pushed you away.

‘Baby, it's me. It's okay, you're safe.’ Your voice shifted into a comforting tone, allowing her to keep her distance. She wasn't looking at you.

‘Try to take a deeeeep breath, baby.’

Natasha struggled to breathe, her hand clutching her chest. You took a deep breath yourself, hoping she would follow along. ‘And then you let it out slowly.’

Your girlfriend raised her eyes to you and tried to do as you said.

‘‘There you go, that's good, honey. Keep going.’’ Natasha's eyes were watering, but her breathing was starting to return to normal.

‘’Can I come closer?’’ You asked, and she nodded.

As soon as you got close, she grabbed your arm tightly.

‘I'm here, Natty. You're okay. You're having a panic attack.’ 

She couldn't speak yet, but you could see the relief in her eyes that you were there with her.

You held her close, gently rubbing circles on her back, feeling her body tremble less and less. ‘Do you recognize my perfume? It's the one you got me. I wear it every day.’

It was working. Making her focus on her senses was grounding her back to normal.

And then something happened: Natasha started sobbing in front of you for the first time.

Your heart sank as you held her even closer. She was falling apart, and you were the only thing she could rely on.

‘Don’t hold back, honey. Let it out.’ And she did until she ran out of tears.

Showers were her safe place. She always took her time with them, as the warm water usually helped her muscles relax after a battle. It was a calming and soothing experience for her.

You helped Nat undress, and what you saw broke your heart. Her body was covered in dark bruises and scratches. You had no idea how this woman was able to move around like nothing had happened while hiding both the physical and psychological pain. But that's Natasha, strong inside and out.

You sat on the toilet seat while she showered, until you heard the water turn off and she opened the shower curtain.

You wrapped her in a towel and gave her a soft kiss on her cheek.

‘Thank you, Y/n,’ she mumbled, giving you a sad smile.

Back in the bedroom, Natasha was feeling better. She sipped tea from her favorite mug, wearing your pink Hello Kitty pajama pants. She looked adorable. You sat on the bed next to her, playing with her hair and stealing little kisses whenever you could.

Suddenly, her stomach growled and you both looked at each other. She laughed.

‘Hungry, baby?’ You teased.

‘I wonder what gave it away…’’. Her sarcastic response made you sigh in relief. She was definitely feeling better.

You both ate the reheated dinner, and since it had gotten quite late for a movie, you went straight to bed.

Her head rested on your chest and you held her as close as possible.

‘Sorry about all this, malyshka,’ she said. ‘You shouldn't be dealing with this.’

‘Nat-’

‘I mean it,’ she interrupted. ‘I wish I wasn't so broken.’

‘You're not broken, Nat. You're just going through a rough patch’’ you replied.

‘Seems like my life has just been a long, messed-up road, then’’ She mumbled while snuggling closer to your chest.

‘Have you heard of kintsugi?’’. Your question caught her by surprise, and she responded with a vague ‘hmm?’.

‘It's a Japanese art form in which they repair broken pottery by filling the cracks with gold lacquer. They don't hide the cracks; they display them openly, creating something new and beautiful. It teaches us to embrace flaws and find beauty in the process of healing, you know?’

Natasha started giggling.

‘What's so funny?’ You asked, confused.

‘Nothing, I just didn't know I was dating such a poetic soul,’ she teased.

‘Oh, fuck off,’ you laughed and she stole a kiss from you.

‘You're magical, Y/n. Did you know that? I don't know what I would do without you,’ Nat said.

‘Guess you'll never find out because you're never going to get rid of me.’

‘Lucky me,’ Natasha said, wrapping her leg over your body.

‘But seriously, you don't have to hide your feelings from me. I love you with all my heart, Nat. I'm always going to be here for you, no matter how bad things get’’. You reassured her.

‘Thank you, my darling. I love you too.’

‘To the moon?’ You asked, raising your eyebrow.

And smiling, Nat replied. ‘‘And to Saturn,’

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Previous chapter

Maria looked at the floor "A background check was done by someone I thought I could trust but was apparently a double agent. When I did some digging I found that her real name is Emily Megan Pierce. I think Radar is in real trouble."

Chapter 11

Notes: I had this chapter half done on Monday and my mother in law passed early Tuesday morning so I've been helping my husband go thru her things and make funeral arrangements. I didn't think I'd finish this chapter but my insomnia decided to rear its head and here I am. We have a lot going on so idk when the next update will be but I've already started writing so hopefully not too long.

Warnings: swearing, angst

A week later the Avengers were still coming up empty in their search for Radar. Bucky and Maria had barely slept or eaten, both wracked with anxiety and guilt. They barely spoke except to go thru any leads they found and fight with each other over who was at fault. Each went from blaming the other to turning on themselves.

Bucky looked like Hell. Greasy hair, red rimmed eyes with dark circles. His face was gaunt from lack of food, he just couldn't eat it sleep no matter how he tried.

Maria was worse off since she had no enhancements. Every time she dozed off at the table in the situation room, she startled awake and downed more caffeine pills with a coffee chaser.

Nick Fury had been offsite for a few days, trying to connect with some of his informants to see if they had heard anything. When he arrived he was shocked to see the terrible shape they were in.

"Hill! Barnes! Get up and go to bed before I have a sedative administered and you're dragged back to your quarters."

His voice allowed no disagreement.

Maria clumsily stood up and shook her head "Boss, I can't. We have to find her." Her eyes filled with tears "She's, she was. Fuck" she wiped the tears away before they could fall. She held back a sob "I have to find her".

Nick grabbed her arms and ran his hands up to rub her shoulders, speaking softly "Maria. I know and we will find her but you're no good to me, to her, like this. You know there will likely be a fight to get her back and right now you would be a liability in a fight." He quickly hugged her. "Get something to eat and get some rest. I promise you'll be the first person notified when we get a lead."

He looked over at Bucky "I didn't forget you, Sargent. Go hit your rack and you'll be notified as soon as we have anything."

Bucky grumbled something but headed back to his room.

Fury sighed "Friday? Tell Rogers and Romanoff to come man the situation room while they sleep."

"Yes, Director Fury."

Two more weeks passed with no sign of Radar. There had been a couple of leads but they didn't pan out.

Bucky was feeling desperate. After being miserable for two years he had been hopeful, happy even and she was torn away from him.

After 6 long months the entire team was ready to give up but Bucky and Maria wouldn't stop. Both of them ended up being suspended because they couldn't focus on missions.

2 weeks after he was suspended, Bucky went to Radar's room, with flowers, as the sun was starting to rise. It was her birthday and he needed to feel closer to her. It was still dark in her room and he left the lights off, setting the flowers on her dresser and sitting on her bed.

He heard a yelp and jumped back up, shouting "Who the Hell are you? What are you doing in here?"

The lump mumbled and pushed the blanket down "What do you mean, Barnes? It's my room." She sat up "I know we've been getting along and all but letting yourself into my room without knocking is too much." She yawned "Besides, I'm sleepy. Come back after noon."

Bucky stared at her in shock then multiple questions rushed out "Y/N? When did you get back? Where have you been? Are you ok? What's going on?"

Radar yawned again "What are you talking about Barnes? I'm fine and haven't been anywhere. I dozed off after our talk and you carried me to bed." She looked up at him, confused "Didn't you? Maybe I was just too tired to remember coming to bed?"

Bucky couldn't speak for a moment, trying to figure out what she was saying "Y/N are you talking about the night you told me all about your past?"

Radar sighed "Yes, last night. What else would I be talking about?"

Bucky took a deep breath before speaking again "Doll, that was almost 7 months ago. Today is your birthday."

Radar scoffed "I don't think so Barnes, I'm not falling for your tricks. Was it Sam's idea?"

She climbed out of bed and put her robe on "I feel like I haven't slept at all and you have to come in with some prank."

Bucky stammered. "N n no no no, sweetheart, it it's not a joke. You went missing the morning after our talk. I've, I mean we we've been losing my I mean our minds trying to find you."

Radar shook her head "Seriously? Then why don't I remember anything after our talk last nite? I'm impressed with your commitment to the bit but I'm not buying it."

Bucky sighed "Fine, don't believe me. Friday, what day is it?"

Friday gave the date and that it was Radar's birthday.

Radar scowled at him "Then Tony's in on this too, he could have reprogrammed Friday to say that when you asked."

"Friday, when was Radar last in the compound"

Friday replied with the date Radar had disappeared including "6 months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago."

Radar sighed "Bucky, please. I'm too tired for this."

He grabbed her hand "Come on, I'll show you." And pulled her out of the room. She followed him into the hallway and towards the kitchen where she could hear the muted sound of people talking and moving around.

Radar saw Sam exit the kitchen and walk down the hall towards them, distracted by his phone until he ran into Bucky.

Sam looked up and smirked when he saw Bucky but his face dropped when he realized there was a woman who ran into Bucky's back when he stopped.

Sam looked back to Bucky and frowned "Who's your little friend here, Robocop?" When Radar pulled away from Bucky, Sam's jaw dropped "What the-" before his face broke into a huge smile as tears filled his eyes.

He reached for Radar to give her a hug and squeezed her tight "Holy shit, you're back. And in one piece. Damn, we've missed you."

Radar coughed and wheezed out "You're crushing me."

Sam let her go "I'm sorry but we thought we'd never see you again."

Radar shook her head and scowled at him "Of course you're in on this stupid prank. You just saw me yesterday. I haven't gone anywhere and I'm not falling for it."

Sam looked at Bucky with a question in his eyes "What is she talking about? What prank?"

Bucky shrugged "I went in her room to leave flowers for her birthday today, sat on her bed and there she was. Insisting that she never left. Thinks it's some elaborate prank since Friday confirmed what I told her. I thought seeing the rest of the team would convince her I was telling the truth."

Radar rolled her eyes "I have to give you both props for your commitment to the gag but I think I'd remember if I had left the compound or been kidnapped. So I'm still not buying it."

Bucky tried to calm her down "Ok, doll, calm down. Lets just get you some water and you can go back to bed, ok."

Radar shrugged "Whatever you want, I just need more sleep."

As they walked towards the kitchen, the voices became clearer. It was Steve and Nat joking around about some mission but Radar could feel that something was wrong, their voices had a sad lilt to them.

Steve looked past the breakfast bar and saw Bucky "Hey Buck, you want some eggs and bacon? I'm just getting started so can throw some extra in for you."

As Bucky came closer Steve saw someone behind him "Who do you have there? Is that Wanda? Does she want some food?"

Bucky stopped and pulled Radar out from behind him "What do you think, doll? Hungry for some eggs?"

Steve dropped the bowl he was mixing the eggs in, not even noticing when it hit the floor, broke and splashed eggs everywhere "Radar? When did you? But how? Where was?"

While Steve couldn't get a whole thought out, Nat jumped over the breakfast bar and pulled Radar into a hug. Nat started crying and babbling into Radar's shoulder "You're here, ohmygawd, you came back we thought-"

Radar interrupted "I know, I know, I was kidnapped and you thought I was dead or you'd never see me again. Damn, Nat, I'm disappointed, I didn't think you were into these dumb jokes that Sammy loves so much. I'm still not buying it."

Nat pulled back and looked at Radar, confused, then she turned to Bucky "What's she talking about?"

Bucky shrugged "Last thing she remembers is the night before she disappeared. She thinks we're playing a joke on her."

Radar shook her head "I'm impressed with your commitment to the gag but I'm supposed to believe I've just lost the last..." She turns to Bucky "what did you say today was?"

Bucky sighed "It's your birthday. You've been missing for over 6 months."

"Right. I've lost the last 6 plus months with zero memory. I mean really, would you believe it?"

Steve sighed "It's true but I think we need a team meeting. Friday, please call the team to the common room, asap. Fury and Hill too."

"Of course, Captain."

Radar walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, leaning against the counter as she sipped at it.

Multiple footsteps and voices came up the hall until Bruce and Wanda stopped in their tracks when they saw Radar.

Wanda squealed "Radar! You're back. Are you-"

Radar looked around at her friends with growing fear in her eyes "Ok guys, that's enough. You can let it go now, nice attempt to prank me but it's getting old."

Wanda looked at Bucky with questions in her eyes.

Radar heard Tony and Nick chatting in the other direction before they came into view and stopped dead when they saw her. They stared for a minute before looking at the team.

After a moment of tense silence Maria arrived and started crying as soon as she saw Radar "Radar? You're here? You're ok? I th, we thought you were-"

She couldn't keep talking as she sobbed and ran up to hug Radar.

Radar eyes grew wide and she went from nervous to terrified, knowing that Maria never took part in any of the teams pranks. She felt her knees buckle under her and Bucky barely caught her before she hit the floor. Nick grabbed Maria and walked her over to a chair.

Radar felt her heart racing and started hyperventilating, she tried to speak but couldn't catch her breath as Bucky whispered soothing words and rubbed her back. He helped her to the sofa and sat her next to him.

Tony was the next person to speak "This is not what I was expecting when Friday told me Cap wanted the team here but finding our wayward angel is the best surprise I can think of so does anyone want to fill me in?"

Bucky nodded "I went into her room because it's her birthday and when I sat on her bed, she yelled, scaring the shit outta me. Insists that she wasn't gone and accused me of pulling some prank. She didn't even believe Friday. I figured I'd bring her out so everyone could tell her but she didn't believe any of us." He looked at her "She seems to believe now."

Radar felt tears running down her face "I swear, the last thing I remember is having a hard time sleeping and talking to Bucky. I think we fell asleep on the couch watching tv. Then I woke up in my bed a few minutes ago when Bucky sat on me." She looked at him "What's going on?"

Bucky kept rubbing her back and told her about Meghan coming to her room and leaving the compound with her, how they discovered Meghan was Alexander Pierce's daughter. How they had been searching for her or any clue what had happened but every lead was a dead end and how she definitely wasn't there last night.

Tony spoke up "I don't know what happened but the first thing we need to do is wake Helen Cho and have her perform a complete physical to make sure you're ok and see if there are any clues to help solve this mystery."

Radar nodded "Yeah, uh ok. I don't know how anyone could wipe my memory like that but I can't remember a damn thing." She tried to focus and concentrate but it made her head ache and the harder she tried, the worse the pain was until she cried out.

Bucky pulled her into him "Hey, doll, it's gonna be ok. Don't hurt yourself trying to remember right now. I'll take you up to see Helen and we'll figure this out, ok?

I'll be right by your side for as long as you need me. I promise."

Radar looked at Bucky with tears in her eyes "Ok. I'm scared of what she will find but I need to know what the fuck is going on."

Steve started over with breakfast and Radar sat quietly, picking at her food until Friday told them that Helen was ready to see her. The team followed them to the medbay, Bucky holding her hand the entire way.

"Don't worry, doll. I've got you and I won't let go for as long as you need me."

Radar nodded and followed him into an exam room.

@unaxv @calwitch @buckitostan @cjand10 . @vicmc624 @sandrab02

[arlana-likes-to-write]

A Love Lost

Chasing Shadows AU

Summary: From a young age you could see the ghost of those died and you’ve used your gift to help those around you. But when you and the Avengers bring back those who were Blipped, you wished you didn’t have your gift as Natasha didn’t return from Vomir. 

Warning: major character deaths, grief, angst, small mention of kidnapping in the beginning. 

Word Count: 3.1K

“She’s here,” Clint said, sitting down next to you. “Isn’t she?” You haven’t spoken since Thanos was killed and the ashes of the compound settled. You gave the archer a small nod. She was here, standing in the corner, wearing the tactical suit she wore the last time you saw her. “Has she said anything?” You shrugged. That was new when you saw the ghost of the dead you could hear, and speak to them but Natasha was silent. Her mouth moved but her words weren’t reaching you. Clint sighed. “What do you need?” You looked over his shoulder to the woman you loved. 

“For her to leave,” you said. But she didn’t. She stayed. 

When you were younger, your parents and those around you called them your imaginary friends. ‘It was a phase’ or ‘she’ll grow out of it’, they said. But you didn’t. You continued to see ghosts. Some crossed over without bothering you. Others hounded you to give their loved ones a final message. You’ve interacted with nice, angry, vengeful spirits and you’ve tried to help them all move on. But the biggest thing was you didn’t want the world to know what you could do. You had people sign NDAs to keep you, your parents, and your close friends safe. That all changed when the spirit of a young boy came to you and told you where he and a few other kids were being held. The news was all over the story and the next day Nick Fury was at your door offering you a place at SHIELD. You took it, not seeing another way around it. 

But joining SHIELD was the best thing for you. You helped them solve cold cases, joined the Avengers, and met and fell in love with Natasha Romanoff. It wasn’t easy. The Black Widow was super hesitant around you because of your gift. She feared all the spirits attached to her. But you kept the spirits away. That was 13 years ago and now as you stood next to Clint and his family while the other Avengers paid respect to those who didn’t survive Thanos. It was too much. You saw Tony kneeling next to Morgan. Vision was resting his hand on Wanda and Natasha stood next to you. Laura took your hand in hers. You didn’t realize you were shaking. Once the funeral was over, you let go of Laura’s hand and walked over to Morgan. She was sitting by the water’s edge and Pepper was hovering close by. “Hi, sweetheart,” you said, sitting down next to her. You smiled at Tony. Morgan gave you a wave. This was the hardest part for you, especially with kids. “You know your daddy loved you so much.” It was such a clique line. 

‘Love you 3000,’ Tony whispered. 

“He loved you 3000, right?” The young girl’s head snapped to look at you. 

“How did you know that?” She asked. 

“Because your dad and I were very close,” Pepper walked over to you, sitting on the other side of her daughter. 

‘Tell her,’ Tony sighed, rubbing his hand through his hair. ‘Tell her she was the greatest thing I’ve made. She is the best thing with the Stark name on it besides Pepper of course.’ He added. You chuckled and told the girl what her father said. Pepper whipped away a tear that fell. 

“Sweetheart, I think Peter could use a Morgan hug,” the girl jumped up and ran over to him. Tony watched his daughter run off. “He’s here, right?” She asked you. You nodded as she looked back to the water. “I told him to rest, that we would be okay but I’m terrified.” She admitted. Tony smiled. 

‘She’s the smartest woman in the world, she's going to be just fine,” he said.       

“Tony said you’ll be just fine,” you picked up a rock and twirled it in your hand. “But him saying that doesn’t erase the anxiety, the fear but you aren’t alone in this. You have a whole village to help you,” you looked over your shoulder and saw Morgan playing with Peter and Shuri. Pepper nodded.

‘Look after them for me, whisper.’ Tony said to you. 

“I will.” Tony walked over to Pepper and kissed her head. You saw her body shake. He looked at the light. You saw him smile. 

‘I see my parents,” he whispered and joined them. 

*

You ignored Natasha standing with the Barton's as you walked over to Wanda sitting on a bench. ‘Hello,’ Vision said. You smiled at the android and sat down next to her. This wasn’t the first time you sat with her to help grieve over the death of a loved one. After the Battle of Sokovia, you and Vision stayed with her. “We have to stop meeting like this,” Wanda joked. You and Vision chuckled. “Where is he?”

“On your right,” you whispered. She nodded, folding her hands. 

“I thought I’d see him, Pietro, too, when Thanos snapped,” you thought you would see them but those who were snapped disappeared. It almost made it worse. The world was too quiet. 

‘I don’t want to see her for a very long time,’ he said. 

“He doesn't want to see you just yet. He wants you to live.” Wanda laughed, bitterly. 

“That’s so easy for him to say,” she looked at you. Tears were falling down her face. “I killed the man I love and it meant nothing. Why does this keep happening to me?” You didn’t have a good enough answer to explain all the pain Wanda has endured. “That’s an unfair question.” She whipped away her tears. “Can I ask a favor for you?” 

“Of course,” she let out a shaky breath. 

“Can you show me where his stone is?” Vision knelt in front of her. You grabbed her hand and hovered her fingers where the mind stone was. Her fingers glowed red and you watched her magic dance around the stone. Vision closed his eyes and a smile on his lips. “I can’t feel him,” she whispered. 

‘All I feel is her,’ he said. ‘Tell her that grief is just loved preserving.’ 

*

When Wanda’s cries trend into quiet hiccups you told her that you were for her and that she wasn’t alone. You walked back to the cabin. ‘Miss L/n,’ you turned around to face him as he rushed over to you. ‘Do I have to go into the light?’ He asked. 

“Vis, you don’t belong here anymore,” you told him. “The light is going to be better for you,” he looked at Wanda. “If you stay you may see her fall in love or get married or have kids.” Vision's smile grew. 

‘Don’t you think she deserves all those things? I would be honored to see it.’ 

*

Clint walked over to you as you leaned against the car with a beer. You were going to spend a few days with them until you figured out what was next for you. Laura was with Pepper helping her clean up while the three Barton kids were playing with Morgan. Natasha was watching them, a small smile on her face. “Have you tried to get her to cross over?” He asked. You took a sip of the beer. 

“I still can’t hear her,” you told him. He hummed, nodding his head. 

“Do you know why?” You shrugged. You had a few theories. It was a date night and you and Natasha were drinking wine. You told her that you didn’t want loved ones to come to see you because if there were still things that needed to be said then why did death have to be the reason it would come out? So when your mother died she didn’t stay long. She smiled and joined your grandparents. Or maybe you couldn’t hear her because you desperately didn’t want her to be gone. You were sent with Tony, Steve, Bruce, and Scott back to New York in 2012. When you returned your girlfriend's spot was empty. 

“Hey, are you guys ready?” Laura asked with Wanda next to her. 

“Yeah, let’s go home.” Clint smiled. 

*

Home. It was what Clint called the farm and at one point it was. You found the beautiful house with dark green shutters a place to call home. When SHIELD was calm and the Avengers didn’t have any missions, you and Natasha would make a trip up here. But now it felt like a ghost town. The Barton's and Wanda were asleep and you sat on the front steps, wearing one of Natasha’s old SHIELD sweatshirt and a bottle of vodka flipping through old photos of you and her. She sat down next to you. “I’d offer you a drink but that would be pointless,” you took a sip from the bottle and enjoyed the way it burned down your throat. “I don’t know why you're still here. I’ll make sure Yelena is okay. I’ll visit Melina and Alexei, I’ll tell Clint it wasn’t his fault, and the kids will know you loved them.” You took another ship. “Our relationship was the best thing that happened to me. I love you. Goodbye.” You went to take another sip but Natasha tried to stop you. Her hand ghosted through the bottle. You stared at her and even though you couldn’t hear her, her green eyes spoke so much. They were sad and that angered you. “What do you want from me?” You asked. “I’m holding onto you by pictures and the smell of your clothes,” you threw the pictures at her. ‘Tony crossed her, everyone else did, so why won’t you leave me alone?” You yelled, throwing the bottle. It shattered as soon as it hit the grass. You stood up, walking down the few steps until your bare feet hit the grass. She followed you. 

“I knew falling in love with this stupid power was a fucking mistake,” you spun around to face her. “Because now you're gone and I’m here. I’m homesick for somewhere that doesn't exist, for someone I have to learn to miss. So please go away,” she didn’t. “Leave me the fuck alone.” You yelled. A sob left your lips as you fell to your knees but you didn’t hit the ground instead arms caught you. 

“Sh, I got you,” Clint said, rubbing your back. You balled your fist in his shirt as you cried on his shoulder. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I got you. I know, let it all out.” Through your blurry vision, you saw Wanda and Laura on the porch and Natasha was nowhere to be found.  

*

“Did you ever want something like this?” Wanda asked. You were pulling weeds from Laura’s garden while Wanda was reading a book. Two months have passed since half of the world’s population returned and you still found yourself at the Barton's. But it was an eventful 2 months, you visited Melina, Alexei, and Yelena to tell them of Natasha’s passing. Yelena took it the hardest. The blonde stormed out and only responded to your text messages every so often so you knew she was alive. And Natasha was still around. You would see her standing in the corner watching with a fond smile on her face. Still, you couldn’t hear her. 

You sat back on your heels, whipping the sweat from your forehead. Wanda was looking at you over her book. “Like what?” You asked. She gestured to Barton's house. You sighed, crossing your legs and taking your garden gloves off. “Natasha and I thought about building our own house on their property,” you told her. “But I figured she would want to build on the Avengers property to be close to the team.” Wanda smiled, walked over to you, and sat down, fixing the sun dress she was wearing. “What about you and Vision?” She sighed, crossing her legs. 

“I wanted a house in a nice neighborhood maybe on a cul-de-sac,” she smiled but she didn’t seem happy as she rested her hands on her lap. “A big backyard with a bigger kitchen,” she added. You smiled. 

“You could still have that,” you saw Vision standing near a tree. He didn’t make himself visible all the time but figured he was there. Wanda’s smile faltered. “Don’t close yourself off to it.” 

“And what about you?” She asked. “Are you closing yourself off?” You shrugged. 

“I don’t know, Wands. I don’t know.” 

*

Once again she found you sitting outside the Barton home this time without a bottle of vodka but with the same pictures and wearing another one of her shirts. Unfortunately, they are starting to lose her scent. You sat underneath a tree with a blanket over your lap as she sat next to you. “I’m sorry,” you said and you almost laughed at the shocked expression on her face. “I know this isn’t easy for anyone and I took my anger out on you. That was unfair. I just-” You looked down at the picture in your hand. It was of you and Natasha, her in Iowa spending Christmas with the Bartons. “I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I feel you slipping through my fingers and I know I’ll never reach out. Now there’s nothing but shadows left,” you looked at her. “Why haven’t you crossed over?” You asked. She shrugged. “Can you see the light?” She shook your head. You frowned at that. You learned that for some spirits who couldn’t see the light, something was holding them back whether it be unfinished business, worried about loved ones, or guilt. 

“Is it Yelena?” She shrugged. “Have you seen her?” She nodded. There was a deep sadness in her green eyes. You made a mental note to invite her to the farm. “Clint?” Again she shrugged. “Wanda?” Another shrug of her shoulders. You sighed. “Is it me?” She didn’t shrug but she looked down at your hands. “Nat, I’m okay. You don’t have to stay here because of me.” She lifted her hand. Her eyebrows meant together and you knew she was biting the inside of her cheek, she only did that when she was concentrating. To your surprise, when she touched your cheek her hand didn’t faze through you like normal. No. You felt her hand on your skin. You gasped at the coldness of her skin. 

“So you can touch me but I can’t hear you. How is that fair?” She smirked. “I miss the sound of your voice,” she nodded, taking your hand in yours. “I’ll figure this out,” you told her. She squeezed your hand. “Okay, okay,” you smiled. “We’ll figure it out.” 

*

“You need to take a break,” Wanda said, entering your room with two mugs in her hands. She handed you one as she sat down next to you. You’ve locked yourself in your room, hunched over your computer trying to find answers. But the internet was giving you very few answers. Wanda watched a tennis ball bounce against the wall. “I’m guessing she’s right here,” she gestured to the wall. You nodded. Natasha had been practicing solidifying her current state so she could interact with the world around her. She was building up endurance for it. “Well tell her to cut it out I’m trying to have a conversation here,” she caught the ball and stuck her tongue out at Wanda. You giggled. 

“You're a child,” you said to the Black Widow. She shrugged her shoulders and opted for throwing the ball in the air. “I can’t figure out what’s going on. This has never happened to me before.” 

“And you still can’t hear her,” you nodded. “She doesn't know what’s keeping her in this world.” 

“If she does know she isn’t telling me. She’s stubborn like that,” that small comment caused the Black Widow to throw the tennis ball at you. “Fuck you,” you said, rubbing the spot where the ball hit. She flipped you off. Wanda giggled at the interaction. It was the first time since defeating Thanos you heard her laugh. You missed the sound. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“The first thing is to take a break,” she closed your laptop. “I bet a certain Black Widow would agree with me.” Natasha nodded. “I will also help you.” 

“Really?” You questioned, looking at her. “Why?” She blew on her tea and took a sip. 

“Because you and Natasha are my friends,” she said. “You’ve helped so many people with your powers, maybe it’s your turn for someone to help you.” You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You took it out and it was Tyler Howard, the acting director of SWORD. You didn’t like the man after he fought so hard against you and Natasha to get Vision’s body. 

“Director Howard,” you answered. You put your finger to your lips to tell Wanda to be quiet. Natasha moved closer to you, kneeling beside you. “What can I do for you?”

“Is Wanda Maximoff with you?” He asked. 

“Wanda,” you put your phone on speaker. “That depends. What do you want with her?” The man sighed. You watched Vision faze through the wall.

“You need to bring her to me or there will be -”

“No,” you cut him off. “You don’t get to threaten my friend after everything she’s been through to validate your ego,” Natasha placed her hand on your thigh to help you calm down. “So let’s start this conversation again.” You heard shuffling on the other side of the line. 

“Hello, this is Agent James Woo alongside Darcy Lewis,” you recognized Jimmy’s name back in your SHIELD days and Darcy wired alongside Jane Foster. “We need your assistance in Westview, New Jersey,” you didn’t recognize the city but you saw Wanda flinch slightly and Vision tried to comfort her in some way. 

“I’m going, to be honest, Agent Woo, I’m a little confused, what is going on in Westview that is involving Wanda?” Jimmy sighed. 

“Is Miss. Maximoff with you right now?” Natasha and Wanda nodded their heads at the same time. 

“Yes,” you answered honestly. “She’s been with me since the battle at the Avenger’s compound and I have multiple witnesses to back this up.” You knew the government feared Wanda and you would be damned if they locked her up again. This time it was Wanda who placed a gentle hand on your arm. Jimmy was silent on the other end. The silence was deafening and it filled you with anxiety. “Jimmy, what’s going on?” 

“I need you and Wanda to get to Westview as soon as possible,” he said. “People’s lives are at stake.”  

__

Part 2 (coming soon)

[littlespacereader]

Ive been in such a silly little baby mode lately, i'm wondering if you could write cg!natasha with baby!reader playing together, natty has been stressed with work lately and all she needed was some quality time with her baby. (I'm all in with the cute lil baby details- rattles, play mats, diapers- ) thank you!!

AHHHHH!!! Such a cute idea!! I love me a baby Regressor fic! And with Natasha?! *chef kiss*

Back In Your Arms

Caregiver! Natasha Romanoff & GN Little! Reader (SFW)

Tags - cuddle, diapers, mention of an accident, bottles, rattles, and tons of fluff!

Nicknames - sweetheart, little one, little rascal, & little monster

This mission did NOT go as planned. But then again, when you’re an the Avengers when does it?

It was a rough mission. A long and difficult mission. On the jet back to the tower the team sat exhausted in their seats. Thor and Tony planned on having a drink together after their victory, Steve and Bruce planning on calling it a night. But Natasha couldn’t wait to spend the evening with her little one.

There was nothing that relaxed Natasha more than spending time with her little one Y/N. They were perfect in every way, the sweetest and kindest baby. Just as Natasha took care for them when they regressed, they took care of Natasha just as much.

Natasha was no stranger to a difficult past. Missions like these bring the worst memories to mind. So coming home to her little one always pushed horrible memories and thoughts far far away. It brought out a side of her that only her little one was allowed to see, a kind of maternal instinct she didn’t know she had until them.

But just as she was daydreaming about what her little one was up too at the moment, Nick Fury’s voice rang through the jet. “After you arrive back at the tower I want you all in the conference room to talk about the next possible location of the enemy.”

Everyone groaned in frustration. But knowing Fury, there was no getting out of it. So, once they landed they all made their way to the meeting.

Natasha paused for a second, staring longingly down the hallway to her room. Just a couple more minutes, she said to herself, just a couple more minutes and then I’ll see Y/N. She turned and walked towards the conference hall.

The meeting was going on for FAR too long. Bruce was half asleep, and Steve wasn’t far behind. Tony and Thor were hanging on by a thread too. Natasha just sat there, stubbornly waiting to the meeting to be over so she could see her little one. But her little one decided if she couldn’t come to them, they would simply come to her.

“Wait Y/N!” Natasha heard Clint say before the door to the meeting swung open.

Natasha sat up and looked over to see the red tear stained face of Y/N. They held their stuffed animal rattle in hand and a little bow in their hair to complete their look.

The moment they saw Natasha they took off, running around the table and right over to her. “Mama!!”

Immediately Natasha pushed her chair back and pulled her upset little one into her lap. “Awwww! What’s wrong baby? Mama’s here, no need to be upset.”

She immediately looked at Clint for an answer. Staring at him with daggers in her eyes. He threw his hands up in defense “They were fine the whole time you were gone. I even did their hair! But the moment Jarvis told them you were back they were upset. I tried to explain that you would be a minute but as you can tell they didn’t want to wait a minute.”

Everyone in the meeting was now awake as ever and smiling at the adorable sight. All of them knowing Natasha’s relationship with her Regressor. And all of them behind completely accepting of it.

Speaking of that regressor, the tears had stopped all together now that Y/N was happily in their mama’s arms. Just a little sniffle here and a eye rub there.

Natasha stood up and put Y/N on her hip. “I think this is my sign to call it a night.” She bounced Y/N a little, “Say good night to everyone.”

Y/N, instead of saying good night, held out their rattle and showed everyone. They shake it a couple of times for all the Avengers to see. They all smiled at the sight.

“Wow! What an amazing rattle!” Uncle Steve commented.

“What a lovely sound.” Uncle Tony joked.

“It looks quite fun young one!” Uncle Thor smiled.

With that adorable interaction, Natasha and Y/N left the meet and went back to their room in the tower.

“Did you enjoy hanging out with Uncle Clint?” She asked on the way.

Y/N shrugged, “Missed you mama.” Wrapping their arms around her tightly.

“I know sweetheart, Mama missed you too.” She hugged them back just as tight. “But I can see you had a nice time with Uncle Clint. He did your hair so nice.”

Y/N smiled back at Natasha, “I gotta bow!” They pointed out the bow on their head which happened to be their favorite color. When Clint ran into the room Natasha noticed he also had a matching bow in his hair. It seems the two had a hairstyle party.

Natasha smirked, “You look so beautiful sweetheart.”

Once in their room Natasha walked into the bedroom to get the two of them changed. Lounge clothes for Natasha and comfy pjs and a fresh diaper for Y/N. Natasha’s set them down on the bed as she went to grab their supplies from their room.

When she returned she could see her little one’s mood had dropped. Before she got a chance to wonder why, Y/N spoke up.

“I’m sorry Mama.” They said softly

Natasha looked confused, “For what sweetheart.”

Y/N looked away, trying to hold back tears of embarrassment. “Had a accident.” They said back, barley a whisper.

“Y/N, you never have to be sorry for having an accident. That’s why you’re wearing diapers. They’re meant to help you, to comfort you. I will never be mad at you for something like an accident. You know that right?”

Y/N looked up and into Natasha’s eyes, almost searching for whether or not she was lying. But she wasn’t. She may have been a spy but she would never lie to her little one. So after a moment Y/N nodded.

“Good, now let’s get you changed into a fresh diaper. Then we can get something to eat and watch a show. Sound good my little rascal?” She smirked.

Y/N smiled back at the nickname, “Yeah!”

And so Natasha helped Y/N into the soft fluffy diaper and the heart patterned pajamas. After she got herself changed.

“Oh no,” Natasha stood up. “I feel a monster taking over me!”

Y/N gasped and tried to squirm away knowing their impending doom.

“It’s the tickle monster!!” Natasha yelled out before tickling her sweet little one. Y/N giggled and giggled, kicking and squirming to get away from the tickle monster.

“No tickle monster no!” Y/N said between giggles.

Finally the tickle monster seemed to leave Natasha. “Alright you little monster, let’s get something for our tummies.”

Up Y/N went back into their Mama’s arms. Natasha walked back into her mini living room. The room was a mix between a Little’s playroom and a living room.

On the floors laid the colorful playmats, and scattered across them were the many toys Y/N had been playing with. Most were soft toys like plushies and others were toys like rattles, little people figures and more.

Natasha set Y/N down on the mat. She handed them their rattle back which they happily accepted.“Alright sweetheart, I’m going to make something quick for us to eat tonight and then we’ll watch a show and head to bed. Sound good? A nice easy night for the two of us.” Natasha smiled down at her little one, and they smile back. With a little nod from her Little, she goes off to the kitchen.

Natasha watches her little one from the kitchen as she gathers a bottle for them and a pb&j sandwich for herself. She had her back to her little one for a little bit while she warmed the milk for Y/N and toasted some bread for herself.

When she turned around her little one was missing from the living room. She grabbed the plate and bottle and went to investigate.

“Y/N?” She called as she entered. But in return she just got giggles. Oh, a game of hide and seek it was!

Natasha set the plate and bottle down and looked around the living room for Y/N. She smiled to herself and she stalked around looking for Y/N.

“Oh no! Where did Y/N go? They were just here a minute ago! Are they…under this pillow? No, not there. What about under this blanket! No not there either…”

Y/N tried to hold back their giggles as they watch Natasha lift up objects and looked under them. They found the perfect spot! Right behind the recliner chair!

But then mama got very quiet… Y/N was just about to lift their head and look when they were lifted up into the air and into their Mama’s arms.

“There you are! I thought I lost you forever!” Natasha said hugging her little one close.

They giggled “Mama I found the best spot!”

“You did! I couldn’t find you for ages!”

Natasha set the two of them down on the couch. She handed Y/N their bottle and grabbed the remote. “What show do you wanna watch tonight sweetheart?”

Y/N pointed to the icon for Bluey. Natasha smiled, “Another Bluey night it is.”

Y/N curled up in Natasha’s lap as Bluey started to play on the tv. Natasha wrapped one arm around their shoulders while she ate her sandwich with the other.

By the time the third Bluey episode was over, Y/N’s bottle was empty and they were fast asleep on the couch cuddling Natasha closely. Natasha couldn’t help but smile and hold them closer.

They’re what made coming home so special. Natasha didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t have her little bundle of joy to be there for her after tough missions. She didn’t know what she’d do is she didn’t have them in her life.

But there was no point in dwelling on something terrible like that. Because Natasha did have Y/N in her life, and she’s never been more grateful for it. To have someone to care for, to have someone to love.

Natasha picked up Y/N and carried them to her bedroom. Although Y/N had their own room with their own crib to sleep in, tonight just felt like a Mama’s bed type of night.

Natasha gently put Y/N in her bed before climbing in herself. She cuddled Y/N close to her, kissing the top of their head. “Good night sweetheart. I love you so much.”

Y/N stirred a little before finding a comfortable spot cuddled close to Natasha. “Good night mama, love you too.”

And so the two of them fell asleep peacefully, the worries and stress of the mission long forgotten.

[a10wea]

fic reading challenge

Finished the summer @ficreadingchallenge ! a little late 😅 This was a lot of fun and got me reading great fics I wouldn't have thought to look for otherwise, as well as a bunch of stuff on my to-read list. I thoroughly recommend all of these!!!

I did have trouble finding a fic for "dressing up" so if you have any recs let me know!

list of fics under the cut

domestic/curtain fic: A Perfect Day by cakeisnotpie (MCU, Clint/Phil)

newest fic in the tag of your choice: gave me no compasses, gave me no signs by argentoswan (ATLA, Zukka)

crossover or fusion fic: Caught Up in Our Stories by gogglor (MCU, Stony)

fix-it fic: (what is hate) but jilted love by LemonGrenade (MCU, Stony)

superpowers / no powers AU: Hot Rod Red by @frankthesnek (MCU, Stony)

fake dating: Duty and Burden by @skylightpirate (DnDHAT, Xedgin)

character study: Never for the Dragon by @ladyshadowdrake (MCU, Stony)

secret relationship: Galeas III by @stitchyarts (MCU, Stony)

angst: Double Time by @sineala (Marvel Comics, Stony)

5+ year old fic: Emanata (The Comics Will Break Your Heart Remix) by @teaberryblue (Marvel Comics, Stony)

happy ending: Wolves in the World by ladyshadowdrake (MCU, Stony)

deaging / kid fic: Silver and Gold by @scioscribe (Thor Movies, Heimdall & Loki)

Free Space: Danger Mouse by @isozyme (Marvel 616, Stony)

fic written by someone who follows you: A Wish Your Heart Makes by @carsonian (MCU, Stony)

remix fic pair: Just for the Conversation by @msermesth (Marvel Comics, Stony)

less than 20 kudos: Falling Again; We've All Been Here by @onebuckybitch (MCU, Bucky & Steve)

dressing up: honestly I could not find a fic with this tag, if you have any recs, let me know!

multiple authors: Double Whammy by @festiveferret, @hollyandvice (MCU, Stony)

only one bed: Situation Normal: All Fucked Up by @kandisheek

podfic: More Than Skin Deep by @whenas-in-silks (Marvel Comics, Stony)

rarepair: Winter Quarters by @AcornsOnTheGround, @teeelsie-posts (Marvel Comics, DCU Comics, Clint Barton/Dick Grayson)

parallel universe: Through a Glass, Darkly by @calaisreno (Sherlock Holmes, Holmes/Watson)

BIPOC main character: Red Velvet by ladyshadowdrake (MCU, Nick Fury & Natasha Romanov)

inspired by another fanwork: on the mend by @meidui (MCU, Steve & Avengers)

unhappy / bittersweet ending: drag its private sweetness through my teeth by @loveinhawkins (Stranger Things, Steddie)

[cynic-spirit]

The insult

The room was filled with tense silence as the group gathered for a high-stakes meeting. Yn was seated a little away from the negotiating table, absorbed in a book, her presence barely noticeable to those involved in the serious discussion.

The negotiation was progressing smoothly until a man, known for his cutthroat business dealings, made a shocking proposal. He leaned toward Bucky with a smirk, his eyes glinting with a mix of arrogance and calculation.

“You know, Barnes,” the man Viktor said, his tone casual, “I’ll waive off 2 million extra if you throw in that red lips on the table.”

The room fell into stunned silence. Bucky’s expression hardened instantly. His entire demeanor shifted from calm and collected to a cold, dangerous intensity. His eyes narrowed, and a muscle in his jaw twitched with barely contained anger. The insult against Yn, his cherished and respected partner, had crossed a line.

Without a word, Bucky gestured sharply to Jorah, one of his most trusted men. “Jorah, take Yn to another room. Now.”

Jorah, accustomed to Bucky’s commands, quickly moved to Yn’s side. “Miss Yn, if you could please come with me,” he said, his tone polite but firm. Yn, unaware of the unfolding tension, looked up from her book with a curious expression.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Everything is fine,” Jorah reassured her, guiding her gently but firmly out of the room. “Just a change of location for a moment.”

As Yn was escorted to a separate room, Bucky’s focus returned to the man who had dared to make such an offensive suggestion. His voice, once calm, was now a dangerous growl. “What did you just say?”

The man, realizing his mistake too late, tried to backtrack, but it was clear Bucky had already made up his mind. With a swift, ruthless motion, Bucky signaled to his men. The room erupted into chaos as Bucky and his associates unleashed their fury.

Fists flew and weapons were brandished. The man who had disrespected Yn was quickly overpowered. The sounds of violence filled the room, punctuated by the man’s cries of pain. Within moments, he lay in a pool of his own blood, barely conscious, barely moving. The scene was brutal and unrelenting.

Bucky, his rage barely contained, stood over the man. His voice was icy and unforgiving. “No deal. Get this garbage of a man off of here.”

The remaining members of Bucky’s crew swiftly moved to dispose of the man’s body, ensuring that no trace of him remained. The room was cleared of the bloodshed, and the negotiation resumed as if nothing had happened.

Bucky, now calm and composed again, took his seat, his face betraying no sign of the violence that had just occurred. His focus shifted back to the business at hand. Sam, Steve, Thor, and Nick continued discussing the details of the deal, their expressions a mix of shock and resolve, but they respected Bucky’s silence and the unspoken agreement that they would not dwell on the violence that had just transpired.

In the other room, Yn remained blissfully unaware of the carnage that had occurred. She sat in quiet contemplation, occasionally glancing at the door, wondering why she had been removed from the main room but trusting that it was nothing serious.

After some time, Jorah returned to escort Yn back. “Everything is sorted now. You can go back in,” he said, his demeanor neutral but his eyes reflecting the weight of what had happened.

Yn followed Jorah back into the main room, her eyes searching for Bucky. When she saw him, he gave her a reassuring smile, though it was tinged with an underlying tension that she didn’t quite understand.

“Is everything alright?” she asked as she approached him.

Bucky nodded, taking her hand gently. “Everything’s fine, doll. Just some business to take care of.”

Yn gave him a curious look but didn’t press further, sensing that Bucky was handling things. As the meeting continued, she remained by his side, feeling a mix of unease and trust. Bucky’s protective nature and the events she had inadvertently missed were a stark reminder of how deeply he cared for her.

Yn’s eyes were drawn to Bucky’s hand and Her gaze settled on his knuckles, which were noticeably bruised and discolored. Concern immediately etched across her face.

“Bucky…” she said softly, her voice tinged with worry. “What happened?” She gently touched his bruised knuckles, her fingers careful and tender.

Bucky flinched slightly at the contact but quickly masked his discomfort with a reassuring smile. “Nothing, doll. Just had a small disagreement.”

Yn’s eyes narrowed with concern, though she tried to remain calm. “A disagreement? It looks more serious than that.”

Bucky shrugged, though the pain was evident in his eyes. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

Ignoring his attempt to downplay the situation, Yn reached for a small tube of ointment she kept in her bag for such occasions. She squeezed a generous amount onto her fingers and began to gently apply it to his bruised knuckles. Her touch was soft, yet purposeful, as she worked the ointment into his skin.

“Was the disagreement over something important?” Yn asked, her voice steady as she continued to tend to his hand.

Bucky watched her with a mixture of admiration and appreciation. “Yes, it was about something very important to me.”

Yn met his gaze, her eyes filled with understanding as she applied the ointment with careful precision. “I see. I hope it was resolved?”

Bucky nodded, his expression softening. “Yes, it was resolved. Everything’s taken care of.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Yn said with a warm smile, her fingers gently massaging the ointment into his knuckles. “You deserve to have everything resolved smoothly.”

She finished applying the ointment and looked at his knuckles, inspecting them closely. “I think this should be fine now,” she said, giving him an encouraging smile.

Bucky flexed his hand tentatively, noticing the relief that came from her care. “They’re perfect now,” he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation. “Thank you, doll. You always know how to make things better.”

Yn smiled, her gaze lingering on him with affection. “I’m glad I could help. Just remember to be careful, okay?”

Bucky nodded, his gaze softening as he looked at her. “I will. Thanks to you, I’m feeling better already.”

As Yn placed the ointment back in her bag, she looked at Bucky with a gentle, reassuring smile. The simple act of caring for his bruised knuckles had reinforced the depth of their connection. For Bucky, the sight of Yn’s concern and the comfort of her touch made him feel more grounded, even amidst the chaos of his world.

Watching her focused expression, Bucky was overwhelmed by a profound realization. Every delicate movement she made, every concerned glance she cast his way, spoke volumes about the depth of her care for him. In this quiet, intimate moment, he saw her not just as his partner but as the most cherished and irreplaceable part of his life.

The realization struck him like a bolt of lightning. He had always known Yn was important, but now, seeing her so attentively tending to his injuries, he understood the true magnitude of her place in his life. She was his anchor in a turbulent world, the one person who consistently offered him genuine affection and unfiltered care amidst the chaos and ruthlessness of his existence. Her kindness, her quiet strength, and the way she looked at him with concern and love made him see how deeply he had come to rely on and treasure her.

As Bucky absorbed this revelation, his thoughts drifted back to Viktor, the man who had disrespected Yn and caused such turmoil. The anger he felt towards Viktor was rekindled, not just for the disrespect shown to Yn but for the thought that such an insult had gone unpunished. The severity of the situation was clearer now; it wasn’t just about business or power—it was about protecting the one person who meant the most to him.

Bucky's eyes hardened as he reflected on the violence he had unleashed in response to Viktor’s insult. He had thought he had dealt with it adequately, but now he realized that his response had been insufficient. Viktor’s offense was more than just an affront; it was a direct threat to something he held more precious than anything else in his life—Yn.

The room seemed to fade around him as Bucky's mind replayed the moments of violence, and he knew with certainty that Viktor had not been punished enough. The thought of someone daring to disrespect Yn in any way, to undermine her dignity or her worth in his eyes, filled him with a renewed sense of fury. He felt that Viktor’s punishment had to be more severe, more fitting of the insult he had dared to inflict upon the woman Bucky loved and cherished above all else.

Bucky looked at Yn, his gaze intense and filled with an unspoken promise. He knew he would not rest until Viktor had been made to pay fully for his transgressions. The safety and honor of Yn were non-negotiable, and he was prepared to go to any lengths to ensure that her dignity and respect were upheld.

“Thank you, doll,” Bucky said softly, his voice carrying a note of deep gratitude. “You mean more to me than anything else in this world. I just realized how much you’ve come to mean to me. And Viktor... he’s going to pay for what he said. More than he’s paid already.”

Yn looked up at him, her eyes filled with genuine concern. “Is everything alright, Bucky?”

Bucky smiled, though it was tinged with a fierce determination. “It will be. Just needed to take a moment to remind myself of what really matters. You’re my everything, and I won’t let anyone disrespect you. Not now, not ever.”

Yn’s smile softened, touched by his words and the depth of his commitment. “I appreciate that, Bucky. And I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Bucky felt a surge of warmth and resolve. He knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, Yn would remain his greatest source of strength and love. And as he looked at her, he was certain that nothing would stand in the way of protecting the precious bond they shared.

[theobsessedbrunet]

If only you'd love me

Pairing: Steve x Y/n, one-shot

  TV screen softly blazed in the frantic waiting room of the ER. The reporter sternly explained to the viewers what happened in New York few hours ago. The camera showed earlier filmed videos of the dark man destroying, hurting everything that stood in it's way. He was big, muscular and had a dead look on his face. 

  Steve's shield appeared fast as a bullet but the man catched it. Steve took advantage of the man's concentration on the field and landed a punch on his face. 

  You turned your face away before you could see what the man did to him.

  "Miss Y/n?"

  You jumped out of your chair and walked towards the nurse who had promised to come and pick you up when you could see Steve. Behind the corner was Fury, waiting for you. Your stomach sank. 

  "I knew you'd come."

  You pressed your lips together as he started walked beside you. Fury observed you closely. He hadn't seen you since you left the Avengers compound doors banging and cries ringing through the halls. He was surprised you were this calm when usually you couldn't hold in your emotions. 

  "Please wait here for a moment." The nurse said as they entered a closely monitored hospital room. The door clicked as it closed, leaving you alone with Fury. His eyes never left your face.

  "How are you?" Nick asked, face leaning a bit downwards, trying to see your eyes better. You lifted them up to meet his as you sucked in your breath, trying to keep yourself together.

  A weak smile on your face, you answered "I'm ok." And moved to stare at the door before you.

  "He hasn't been since you left."

  Stab.

  "But I understand, this life isn't for everyone."

  Stab.

  Fury glanced down at your hands which were balled up. Slowly he took a step towards you, placing an arm on your shoulder. You turned up to look at him, tears slowly building up in your bright eyes. He eyed you for a bit and squeezed your shoulder in a comforting matter.

  "No one ever said this life is easy, but if this life wouldn't be for you, you wouldn't be standing here once again."

  Once again...

  The door clicked open as the nurse let you in. As you stepped into the quiet room full of beeping and heavy breaths, you heard the door close behind you, leaving you alone in the room with Steve.

  You gripped your handbag as hard as you could. Maybe if you squeezed tight enough, you would have the power to be there. You stared at the still body before, only sign of life was his chest rising and falling in a steady beat. The beat you lived for.

  Your steps echoed as you sneaked to stand beside him. His eyebrow had stiches, his cheekbone was purple, right eye was swollen, his lip busted and chin bruised. A sob escaped out of you. You can't imagine how much he was in pain. How much it took out of him to breath. 

  Slowly you sat down beside him, hands still gripping you handbag. You were as still as he was before you, scared if you moved his chest would stop moving. After a few minutes you had to speak.

  "I can't let you go."

  Peep. Peep.

  "I just wish you'd love me like you love doing the right thing."

  Silence.

  "I hope you miss me because I miss you."

[pinyeti]

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (BROKE MY FUCKIN HEART CHAT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENENED????)

Ugh they’re going to rescue the chancellor

HOW ARE THEY THIS IN TUNE WITH THE FORCE BUT CANT SEE THAT THE CHANCELLOR IS EVIL

WOW THIS INSECT LOOKING GUY IS COOL

NOWAYYY OBIWAN CANONICALLY MAKING PATHETIC DAD JOKES THIS IS SO FUNNY

Dookie’s back

MAN THE PARALLELS TO THE OGS ARE CRAAAAZZZZYYYYY

anakin probably put Luke through the same stuff he went through to test if hes a little bitch like him

Okay anakin your problem is you only listen to yourself

NO WAY HOW DID THEY GO FROM THIS BROMSNCE TO KILLING EACH OTHER NEXT MOVIE

Did anakin just call him short… does he have a death wish

Chancellors such as bitch

I just know padmes gonna die and hes going to turn cuz of her

The chancellor really said you’re not like other girls anakin

Okay so anakin has to pick sides between

“HE’S NEVER LET ME DOWN”- NOOOO OBIWANNN NOOOOOO HES GONNA BE SOOO HURT

This whole movie is everyone manipulating anakin to try and get him on their side

Kung fu panda - dragon warrior drama

Count dookie

BRO IS HE INSERTING DREAMS INTO ANAKINS MIND

Theyre boxing him in THE COUNCIL IS SO ANNOYING THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DEAL IWTH A REBEL KID

Someone give nick fury and yoda parenting lessons

NO NO NO NOOO NOOO NOT FOR THIS NO NO PADMES GONNA BE FINE NOOO NOOO NOOO NOOO THIS STUPID CHILD NOOO HES GOOD I KNOW HES GOOD

How did the jedis not see this???????

NO??? ANAKIN??? TELL ME ANAKIN DIDNT KILL A BUNCH OF CHILDREN WHAT THE FUCK?? No absolutely not im not siding for this bullshit fukc off

In the immortal words of Deadpool you punch a couple hundred orphans and suddenly you’re the bad guy

My god anakin IM SO FUCKIN PISSED AT YOU YOU CANT KILL CHILDREN YOU FUCKIN PRICK I HATE YOU SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK NONE OF THIS IS JUSTIFIED WHAT YOU HAD A BAD DREAM SO YOU GO KILL KIDS FUCKIN BITCH

I want to kill anakin Fight me right now

Are you really going around killing children like youre not even going to rise to crimes in a linear manner?? You directly kill kids??

Youre so full ofF SHIT ANAKIN- SHE DIDNT ASK YOU FOR ANY OF THIS YOURE SO STUPID YORE NOT DOING THIS FOR LOVE YOU’RE DOING THIS FOR POWER YOURE PATHETIC

Yes anakin blame obi wan BLAME ANYONE BUT YOURSELF

standing in the middle of a burning planet I HAVE BROUGHT PEACE

No this is breaking my heart no no no no No no no no

YODA PLS PLS PLS KILL EMPEROR PLS (ik he wont but pls) Yoda is so powerless why didnt he stop anything WHY WERE THEY SO BLINDED WHY

Yeah yoda GO HIDE YOU BIG FAILURE MY POOR OBIWAN HE DOESNT DESERVE ANY OF THIS

I did not sign up for this heartbreak FUCK YOU ANAKIN FOR MAKING ME LIKE YOU FOR A TINY BIT

FUCK YOU FOR MAKING OBIWAN LOVE YOU AND THROWING IT ALL AWAY

YOU BECAME WHAT YOU FEARED YOU FUCKIN IDIOT I HATE YOU SO MUCH ANAKIN AND FOR WHAT

They lied to him, idc he deserves to hate himself for the rest of eternity

Ohh theyre making the Death Star now

…. this family needs therapy

(6/9)

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

adopting a pet with the avengers!

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 911

request: yes / no

original request: hello good fellow. can you do a headcanon set on adopting a pet with the avengers? thanks

dynamic: avengers x teen!reader (teenage avenger series)

characters: mainly tony stark, scott lang, reader, peter parker, harley keener, miles morales, and bruce banner!

a/n: bucky + alpine = fave duo ever. OK maybe natasha & liho too. and clint and lucky. there are so many good pets already in marvel (usually just comics tho smh) so i had some stuff to go off of. THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST i loved writing it <3

taglist: @nutellani @thecloudedmind

(fill out this form to be on my taglist!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

you had been BEGGING tony to let you get another pet

bc a few of them already lived at the tower

lucky, liho, and alpine

but you wanted a dog.

not just any dog

specifically a puppy 

and miles, peter & harley were on ur side

especially harley bc he rly wanted a dog

so one day when tony got rly tired of y’all asking him, he came up with an idea

“tell you what. how about you kids make a petition. if you can get a decent amount of signatures, i’ll consider getting you a puppy.”

and that was good with u!!

i mean u were all taking government class at midtown so this was gonna be easy

the first person you went to was scott

bc he’s scott, he wasn’t gonna have an issue with a puppy right

right?????

but when you asked him, he seemed kind of sad for some reason.

and when you asked him why?

“well, it’s just… i don’t want my ants to feel left out.”

“scott, i don’t think they would feel left out. you love those things more than anything!”

“yeah.. you’re right. ant-onio banderas won’t be mad right? or ant-ibacterial? oh, hopefully if they’re mad, it won’t be permen-ANT!!!”

you got the signature and left asap because once scott says one pun he takes like hours to figure out another

love him though

so next you went to clint

and he was more than happy to sign!!

bc ofc lucky would love a little friend

and natasha was there too

she was a little more hesitant bc liho is rly sweet but kinda skittish

but you convinced her because you told her how cute it would be if they loved each other & like you could get the cute stock photos of a dog & a cat together or something

thor was totally on board

because he’s thor ofc

and thor loves puppies

“y/n, this is so exciting! i remember when i got my first pet!! well, it turned out to be loki in disguise. it was still very exciting, though!!”

oh btw miles and peter signed 

they were ur first signatures!!!!!!

next up was sam, bucky, and steve

and you and harley decided you needed a little extra push to convince them

so you made a powerpoint presentation. 

and it was awesome

like you may have used every single available transition

twice

maybe three times each

like i said it was awesome

maybe a little excessive

but awesome!!!

steve kept making you go back a slide because he was taking notes

TAKING NOTES

what a nerd, am i right???

jk we love steve rogers in this house

anyways then they deliberated

and they made you and harley go stand outside the room

it literally felt like shark tank you guys

well not the standing outside while they decide but still

but they signed it yippee!!!!

bruce and wanda signed quickly too

especially bruce was really excited

i feel like he would totally be a dog person 

like he prob had a puppy when he was young that he really loved

you even went over to the sanctum sanctorum to get stephen and wong to sign it!!!

and they did!!!

well wong did

and then he forged strange’s signature for you

wong supremacy fr

you were on a roll

you got aunt may to sign it. you got phil coulson to sign it (pretend he’s alive oml sry yall) you got maria hill to sign it.

hell, nick fury even signed it!!!!

so you took it back to tony

and he was like 

“woah this is a lot more than i expected”

AND SO HE TOOK YOU TO GET A PUPPY!!

and y’all

you and peter, harley, and miles found the cutest one

a little german shepard 

w like the floppy ears & stuff?

oml he was so cute

tony kept saying his named was tony jr

but you told him no

but he kept saying it

ok, live in ur fantasy world ig stark!!!!

jk love him

anyways you named him max!!!

bc yes!!!!

and you took him back to the tower

thor was really excited and max like totally loved him from the start fr

any time he liked ripped up the furniture or smth thor would just hold him with one hand and take him around

but he was happy so he was like wagging his tail and stuff

sam and bucky looked like they didn’t like the dog at first

but then alpine was like obsessed with it and so bucky had to like him

and max kept sitting on sam and licking him

and he was like “omg stop”

but he was laughing so you knew you were good

tony and bruce even built a little spot for max in the lab

and a bunch of like cool toys for him

max was the perfect dog for y’all bc like he loved everyone and everyone loved him

every night he slept in a new room & he loved to play 

he ran with y’all too when you had to run so it was way more fun

suddenly dr strange was over at the tower a lot more…

he’s such a softie

and scott loved him too they were best friends

tony was just proud of himself for “teaching you to be good citizens”

HAHAHA

dw y’all he loved the dog too

just trust that max is the most spoiled dog EVER!!

-----------------------✰----------------------

[anonymityisfunwriter]

The Twin Flame - Invisible String (CATWS Version)

"Time, curious time, gave me no compasses, gave me no signs, were there clues I didn't see?"

a.n. Okay, so I feel like this needs a little bit of a preface. So, when I was writing The Twin Flame, there I found I ended up writing a lot of flashback scenes. And while there's a good bit that made it into the story, there was also a lot that didn't and that was for a lot of reasons, length of chapter, relevance, ect., but I do think it adds a lot to the story and I would love to share that with you guys. So instead of the outtakes that I did at the end of TSOTSC, I wanted to compile the copious amounts of flashbacks, both included and not, into one long (chronological) timeline. For clarity's sake, I did divide them up into their respective movie, I hope you guys enjoy!

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes The Twin Flame Chapter List | The Grumpy x Sunshine Universe

"Sam, I'm home!" you bellow. There is no call back. There's no sound at all. He knows you hate the quiet. It reminds you of before. Sam makes it a point to fill the house with noise in any way he can for that simple reason. The silence radiates through your bones, chilling you to the core. "Sam? You here?"

You walk through the house, hands crumpled into half hearted fists, ready to fight, ready for whatever lurks around the corner.

It isn't until you make it to the kitchen that you see Sam sitting at the table. His jaw tight, his hands folded together, propping his head up.

"Sam?"

His eyes flash over to you, sitting up straight in his chair. He clears his throat, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. "Sorry - I - I -"

"What's wrong?" You step towards him, reaching for his arm and giving it a tight squeeze. He rests his hand on top of yours, laying it heavy on you. Almost like it's you he's trying to comfort and not the other way around. "Sam?"

More silence fills the room.

"Sam? Is everything okay? You're kinda scaring me."

He opens his mouth. His lips gape open for a long moment before he can form the words. "Nick Fury is dead."

You suddenly realize why his hand is so heavy on yours. It's the only thing keeping you from reeling back onto the ground. The words hit you like a truck.

"What?" you squeak.

He stands up, reaching out to steady you. As he guides you into a chair, "I just got the call."

"How did it happen?" you rasp out. 

"He was killed."

An unfamiliar feeling swells in your chest. You were too new to this world to know this feeling. To have felt the rage burning in your ribcage. To know what the anger roiling in your veins felt like. To know how to fend it off.

He's dead.

Your protector. Your savior. The closest thing you had to a father.

He's gone.

You barely manage to ground out, "Who?"

Sam's eyes snap over to you. He's never heard that tone, that darkness seep into your words. "Listen, I know -"

You cut off Sam's attempt at talking you down. "Who killed him?"

"They think it was someone called The Winter Soldier, but they don't even know -"

Your chest heaves in anger, anger at the person who took away one of the most important people in your life. "Did they catch him? The Winter Solider?"

"No, not yet, but -"

"Then I'll find him myself."

-

It was already 2 in the morning. Missions were becoming more frequent, more grueling, and it was starting to weigh on you. Your legs felt like they were made of lead as you stumbled into your room to get some sleep before your next assignment first thing in the morning. 

'Tough mission?" a familiar voice asks. 

The lights flicker on to reveal Nick Fury standing in the corner of your room. Until this very moment, you believed him to be dead. In shock, your bag slips from your grip, hitting the floor with a muted thud. 

"You're alive," you gasp, abruptly throwing your arms around him in a tight embrace. "I thought you were dead. They said you died, Sam said-"

"It's going to take a hell of a lot more than a Winter Soldier to kill me," he chuckles, returning the embrace for the shortest of movements. 

You pull away from him, looking at him as he stands in the corner of your room in the dead of night. "I'm just so glad you're alive, Nick."

"It's not that simple," he corrects. "And that's why I need you to be careful."

Your sigh of relief catches in your throat. "What?"

"Nick Fury is dead," he ominously states. There's no remorse in his voice until he speaks his next sentence, "And that means I can't protect you anymore."

"From who?"

"From SHIELD."

"SHIELD? SHIELD saved me. You saved me, why do I need to be protected from them?"

"I know you've noticed that things are different, strange. Now that I'm gone, the vultures are going to circle. People are going to try to get close, try to win your trust. Go with your gut, it's never wrong."

"What are you talking about? I'm literally wrong all the time!"

"Not about this. Have some faith in yourself, I know I do."

-

"Everyone we know is trying to kill us."

Sam freezes, completely startled by the appearance of Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff from his backyard. He recovers a split second later, opening the door to allow them inside. "Uh, come on in."

"Thank you."

He points to the bedroom off to the side. "You guys can get cleaned up in here."

"Thank you," Steve repeats. 

Sam nods, giving the two of them a minute to regroup themselves. He walks to the kitchen, checking the front door to make sure you haven't come back yet. He takes a deep breath, wondering how exactly he's going to tell you that Captain America and Black Widow are currently seeking refuge in your shared home. 

Only about an hour later, you walk into the house, heading straight for the kitchen to find yourself something to eat after a grueling mission. You walk into the kitchen, picking up an apple from the fruit basket on the counter. You're bogged down by exhaustion, almost completely oblivious to the two unfamiliar people seated in your kitchen. 

"Hey," you nod at the unfamiliar man seated at the kitchen table. You keep walking when only a few seconds your mind processes that there are two unfamiliar people sitting in your kitchen. Your eyes widen, taking a few steps back into the kitchen. "Um?"

Steve stands up off of his seat. You can tell his guard flies back up just from the demanding look on his face, "Who are you?"

"Who am I? Who are you?" you repeat.

"I asked you first."

"Well," you start, fumbling for an adequate rebuttal. "I've - I've got a frying pan. And I'm not afraid to use it!" But the frying pan isn't what stops Steve in his tracks, it's the fact that the frying pan just whipped across the kitchen right into your hand. "What the-"

"Sam!" you call. "Code - ugh, why don't we have a code for these things!?"

"You know Sam?"

"Yeah, you weirdo!" you incredulously shout. "I live here!"

"You live here?" Steve dumbly repeats. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sam interjects, walking into the kitchen with wide eyes. "I guess now might be the time to tell you I don't live alone."

"Clearly," Steve lilts. "I'm sorry, who are you again?"

"Oh, right. This is Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, they needed a place to lay low for a while," Sam introduces, gesturing to each person respectively. Then Sam turns to the two of them, introducing you by your first name, "And this is what I meant when I told you that I'm sort of SHIELD adjacent."

"They're not spies?" you ask Sam.

"They're not spies," he affirms. "Now, can you please put the frying pan down?"

"Right," you meekly chuckle, putting the pan back on the counter. 

"I'm confused," Steve states, his brows furrowed at you. "What does that mean? SHIELD adjacent? You work for SHIELD?"

"Not voluntarily," you chuckle. "But sure, let's go with that."

"Well, if you work for SHIELD, why have I never seen you before?"

"Because Nick Fury did a damn good job," Natasha responds, an impressed smirk growing on her face. "I was beginning to think you weren't real."

"You know about me?"

"I know enough. Enough to know why Nick Fury wanted to keep you hidden."

"You knew Nick Fury?" Steve silently nods, giving you a moment before you continue speaking, "Nick Fury rescued me. It's why I'm a SHIELD asset."

"Agent," Steve corrects. 

You quietly chuckle, "Asset. Not agent. I don't work for them, they own me. Sam's my handler."

"They own you?"

"But enough about me," you excitedly redirect. "Steve Rogers? Why do I know that name?"

-

You needed to buy them more time. You needed to do that for them. Sam begged you, pleaded with you. With Fury's warning and Steve and Natasha's appearance in your house, it was too dangerous. They could very well be onto you two. 

"I have to go," you announce to Sam, picking your repacked duffle bag up off the ground. 

"There's no way you're going!" Sam vehemently refutes. "First, you just got back, you're exhausted and you're not thinking straight. Second, we're sort of harboring fugitives in our house. It's a recipe for disaster."

"They'll know something's up if I don't go," you remind Sam.

"Tell them you're exhausted. You haven't even been back a whole day and they can't just send you on another assignment, it's too dangerous."

"You and I both know they can do whatever they want to me."

"You can't go. It could be dangerous. We don't know what they know," Sam desperately insists. 

"They don't know that we know about them either," you counter. "I promise I'll be careful. The longer Pierce thinks we're still with him, the more time you guys have to take them down."

Sam shuts his eyes, shaking his head, "I really hate that that makes sense."

"I'll be okay," you promise. "I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

"Okay."

With that, you take off, leaving Sam, Steve, and Natasha to make their plans.

You don't even remember making your way to SHIELD headquarters, all you knew is that you'd never felt dread quite like the one pooling in the pit of your stomach as the building looms over you.

You stare up at the building, steeling your resolve. You had to do this for them.

With a shaky inhale, you walk into a building that you knew so well. 

On this day, it feels like you've never been here before. There's no sense of familiarity. There's no ease in any of your actions. 

Before you can make your way to your locker or to get your mission brief, you see Rumlow expectantly standing at the lobby. His arms crossed over his chest and a cold expression, he scans the lobby, clearly waiting for someone.

The moment you step out of the revolving door, you know he's not just waiting for someone, he's waiting for you. 

His eyes snap over in your direction, he strides over, "Pierce wants to see you."

"Oh..." you manage to choke out, shocked by the abruptness of the order. 

"Problem?" he challenges.

"No, no," you quickly assure Rumlow. "Just had something - no, no problem."

"Good. He's waiting."

You weakly smile up at him, "Great."

You try to appear unaffected by Rumlow's suffocating presence. You try to make small talk, offer a kind smile that you know doesn't look even remotely genuine.

You can feel a sense of impending down creep up your spine. There was nothing normal about this.

Pierce liked to maintain a facade of warmth with you, he never summoned you. He'd invite you to the conference room, meet you in the briefing room. Never this.

By the time you're shoved into Pierce's office, the one formerly belonging to Nick Fury, your hands have gone cold with dread.

"What do you know about Captain Steve Rogers?" Pierce questions the moment you stand before his desk, wasting no time with fake niceties.

"Captain Rogers?" you repeat, pulling your lips in as you shake your head. As Pierce stares you down, it feels like he can hear every single one of your racing thought. You try not to think about the fact that Steve is currently sitting in your kitchen plotting HYDRA's demise. "Only by name."

Pierce purses his lips, scanning your face for the lie you're so desperately concealing, "That's good to know."

"Okay," you awkwardly lilt, clapping your hands in front of you. "Well, I think it's time for me to go. I wouldn't want to waste your time and I have a logistics meeting."

"Speaking of logistics," Pierce interjects. "I think it's time we reconsider a few of your own logistics. Your living arrangements in particular."

"What?" you humorlessly chuckle. You look over you shoulder to see Brock Rumlow still standing in front of the door with his arms crossed over his chest. "What are you talking about?"

"We didn't want to frighten you, but we believe there's been a breach of security within the organization. We think it best that you stay here."

"But Nick said-"

"Nick isn't here anymore," Pierce bitterly reminds you. "Steve Rogers made sure of that."

You bite back your defense of Steve. Your mind races, millions of pieces coming together to form a bone-chilling conclusion.

First, Nick Fury's last words to you. Stick to your gut, put your faith in the people you knew that you could trust without a shadow of a doubt.

Second, you knew you could trust Sam and Steve with your life.

Third, Pierce was the one keeping your schedule so jam-packed you could barely sleep let alone try to talk to Sam. He was the one driving the wedge between the person you trusted most. You knew you couldn't trust him.

What was so bone chilling was the look on everyone's face in the room. just about a dozen men, watching you, all armed and poised to attack. There were probably more outside.

You can't help but wonder how deep this whole thing ran. How many of your friends and colleagues would take you down if you stepped a toe out of line.

You were in the lion's den.

And you had two choices: fight or play along.

You lift your head to look at Pierce with a concerned, fear-filled look. "You're right. I don't know - I guess I never noticed."

"And how could you? It's our job to protect our Assets. We'll make sure you're safe."

"Thank you," you slowly exhale, lowering your head in submission at Pierce.

"I'm sorry to have to ask this of you right now, but it's imperative that we sort out everyone's allegiance, including Sam Wilson. It pains me to say this, but we believe, knowingly or unknowingly, he's leaked top-secret state secrets. He's told people about you, and that puts you in danger."

It's not much of a performance to put on a horrified look on your face. You were horrified, just not at Sam, "Oh my God."

"It's alright," Pierce assures you. "We just ask that you continue on, as normally as possible."

"But you just said-"

"We'll take precautions for your own safety, but you're our best hope of maintaining connections with Sam Wilson."

"You want me to spy on Sam?" you repeat, trying to suppress the look of repulsion that involuntarily forms on your face.

"I hate to impose such a heavy task on someone such as yourself, but it's imperative. Nick Fury believed in you, as do I."

You nod once. "I understand."

You'd never considered yourself that good of a liar. But you almost sighed a breath of relief as Pierce bought innocent, doe-eyed lie that spilled out of your mouth.

Thoughts kept racing in your mind. You focused on what you'd do the second you left this room. There was a side exit just down the corridor from your room. You could leave, hide. Warn Sam, warn Steve and you'd run. As fast as you can. As far as you can. 

"Rumlow will escort you back to your room," Pierce directs. Your blood runs cold when your escape plans are torn to shreds. Rumlow suddenly grips your bicep, prepared to drag you to your new room. "Can never be too careful."

"I - I appreciate it."

"But one more thing?" Pierce asks before Rumlow escorts you out. You turn back to him with a tight smile. He turns his head to one side with a smirk that can only be called sinister. "You're a terrible liar."

Your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. "Excuse me?"

"I'm going to give you one last chance to tell me everything you know," Pierce plainly offers, leaning over his desk to glare at you.

You look around the room once more. Now, the guns aren't slung low on the waists of Pierce's henchmen, but aimed directly at you. You grit your teeth and curl your hands into fists, "It's like you said, I don't know anything."

"Wrong answer," Pierce spits. His gaze shifts to Rumlow, whose guiding hand has turned into a death grip on your upper arm, as he barks an order, "Get what you can out of her...Then wipe her."

-

"Rumlow's headed for the Council," Maria Hill shouts into her comms device. "41st floor, Sam."

"I'm on it," Sam grunts, sprinting up the staircase of SHIELD headquarters. He flies through the doorway, throwing a fist right into Brock Rumlow's jaw without a second thought. "Where is she?" 

Sam goes for another quick jab, only for it to be deflected. With a strong lunge that knocks Sam off his feet, Rumlow chuckles, "Doesn't matter anymore. You're too late."

"What did you do to her?" Sam seethes, his anger and worry only compounding with every single minute of radio silence since you'd walked into SHEILD headquarters and never walked out.

"She just wouldn't shut up," Rumlow taunts, rolling his eyes. "She told us that she'd never stop fighting us, that her friends were coming, something about justice, I wasn't really listening, she just wouldn't stop talking... so we threw her brain in the blender. She doesn't even know who you are anymore."

A pained gasp leaves Sam's mouth. It feels like his lungs were being squeezed of all oxygen, "You're lying."

"You never should've let her walk into that meeting with Pierce, she walked right into his trap, you know?"

"Shut the hell up," Sam bellows, tackling the man into the glass control panel behind him. He pins Rumlow, "Tell me where she is."

"I was there, you know?"

"Tell me where she is!" Sam demands. 

"HYDRA doesn't take prisoners, Wilson. We only accept order. And order only comes with pain." Rumlow slips out of Sam's grasp, landing several punches into Sam's sides. Rumlow menacingly snickers, wiping the blood pooling from the corner of his mouth as the two of them stand up. "You should feel so honored. She respected the hell out of you, swore up until the very end that you were coming for her."

"She got all weepy." Rumlow punctuates every antagonizing sentence with a sharp punch. "She screamed for you. Cried when we strapped her down. But you never came."

"I said shut the-" Sam starts, only stopping when he sees the large air carrier about to crash into the building.  

"Son of a bitch," Rumlow shouts as the rubble consumes him. 

"Please tell me you got that chopper in the air," Sam calls over the comms. 

"Sam, where are you?"

"41st floor! Northwest corner!"

"We're on it. Stay where you are."

"Not really an option," he shouts as the aircraft crashes into the building. He bolts to the very edge of the building, dodging debris as it all comes crashing down around him. "Any time would be good."

"You trust us?" Maria ominously replies. 

"Do I have any other choice?" Sam shouts as he leaps out of the broken window just in the nick of time. 

"And gotcha," you exclaim, gripping Sam's hand as he almost barrels out of the helicopter. You pull him back up as Nick levels the helicopter. "Hey, Sam!"

Sam wheezes as you haul him into the helicopter. "You know who I am?"

You chuckle, "It's only been like a day, Sam."

"They said - but they said," Sam sputters. 

"I dunno what they said, and I hate to be so negative, but I don't think they care that much about honesty, Sam." 

He throws his arms around you, relief overwhelming him. "You're okay."

"I'm not the one that just jumped out of a window," you tease, dusting broken shards of glass off of his shoulder. 

He whispers, holding you tightly in his embrace. "They said you forgot me."

"I could never forget you."

-

"You don't have to do this," Steve tells Sam. "I know with Nick and SHIELD gone things just got a lot more complicated."

"I know," Sam agrees. "When do we start?"

"What about you, Sunshine?" Steve asks, though he knows that you and Sam weren't really going to risk separating yourself any time soon. "I wouldn't blame you, if you wanted nothing to do with this. I know what Bucky did. And I know how much Nick meant to you. Even if he is alive, I know it changed everything."

His question catches you off guard. You can't remember the last time someone asked you what you wanted.

"I know how much Bucky means to you. And you mean a lot to me too, Steve." You exaggeratedly shrug. "Plus, it's not like I've got anything better to do. So let's go get your friend back."

Steve wraps an arm around you, giving you a light squeeze as he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head, "Thank you, Sunshine."

You wrinkle your nose up at him, "But I still don't like that nickname."

He smiles down at you, "You mean a lot to me too."

The Twin Flame Chapter List The Grumpy x Sunshine Universe Bucky Barnes Masterlist

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez@ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes@beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a @weallhaveadestiny @mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064 @michealharrypotter @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @withyoutilltheendoftheline @the-photo-hoe @rae-nna @sarachabeans1@double-shot-of-tequila @spookyparadisesheep @lunaalovesyouu @daisy-loves-bucky@roseproseposts @theoraekenslover@king814318 @maybesomedaytho @carlie-babes99 @sunshinechikin @as-white-as-snow-love @melala1030 @badasswlthafatass @armystay89 @multiversefanfics @cherrysscinema@breathlesspieceofdeath @ravenn-darkholme @bxckybxrnes24

[themculibrary]

Loki Pairings Masterlist

add it up (ao3) - leftennant darcy/loki, jane/thor, pepper/tony E, 125k

Summary: Loki and Darcy have been dancing around each other ever since they were paired up as a team at S.H.I.E.L.D. by Nick Fury. When they both end up up in his apartment after saving the world, things finally hit the boiling point.

Advantage (ao3) - FauxGateaux loki/natasha, clint/maria G, 10k

Summary: Set near the end of Avengers Assemble. After Loki has been scraped up off the floor of Stark Tower, the Avengers keep him in Nick Fury’s glass cage on the helicarrier while awaiting for transportation to Asgardian justice. During his overnight stay, he is monitored and interrogated by Natasha Romanov. How much does Loki share with the her, and what impact will this have on their futures?

An Endless War (ao3) - Eustacia Vye (eustaciavye) loki/natasha T, 23k

Summary: The Watcher dropped Natasha Romanoff into a world where she had died. It is very similar to the world she lost, with very significant differences. She’s not about to let this world go down the same path that hers did, and will do whatever it takes to save it. Including dealing with a war criminal.

A Place In Time (ao3) - SnakeCharmer2023 loki/mobius T, 7k

Summary: Loki knew what he’d signed up for, replacing the loom at the end of time and sitting alone on the throne.

But what if the end didn’t have to be forever?

A fix-it fic after the ending of series 2, because my heart can’t take it.

Cold Hearted (ao3) - Xythia loki/tony E, 132k

Summary: Sometimes the best defense is indeed a good offense. Which means, if you ask Tony Stark, that you should give the most Machiavellian, twisted and ruthless bastard you’ve ever met every reason to act in humanity’s best interest.

Deep Freeze (ao3) - Kadorienne bucky/loki/steve E, 198k

Summary: As atonement for his crimes against Midgard, Loki is sentenced to fight alongside the Avengers. In time he finds love with Steve Rogers, but then Steve’s first love, Bucky Barnes, returns from the dead. The solution is something he hadn’t dared to hope for.

Do No Harm (ao3) - AuroraWest, the_genderman loki/stephen M, 69k

Summary: When Loki stole the Tesseract from the Avengers, he hadn’t been trying to break the universe. Nor had he anticipated a wizard saving his life.

Now, Loki finds himself in the New York Sanctum, helping Stephen Strange hold the universe together—while he himself falls apart. But trouble finds the God of Mischief whether he invites it or not, and good things don’t last for Loki. As his universe crumbles and takes another with it, he’ll be faced with a choice: the greater good or the people he loves.

Dreams Come Slow and They Go So Fast (ao3) - FlashySyren jane/thor, loki/sif M, 27k

Summary: Loki managed to get the throne for himself, but now he has to figure out how to keep from being discovered and replace Odin as King because the ruse won't work forever. Unfortunately, plans have a way of going awry.

Hold Me Like a Grudge (ao3) - Gryffindancer darcy/loki E, 12k

Summary: Darcy and Loki hated each other. Like visceral, deep, serious hate. Turns out, that type of energy has a way of building until it explodes.

Enemies to… well, “lovers” is a bit of a strong word.

Insatiable (ao3) - thebynary loki/mobius E, 31k

Summary: 5+1 things, OR 5 times Loki showed Mobius pleasure, and 1 time they showed each other what love was.

Joy Comes from Unexpected Places (ao3) - TheBookTheDragonSaved loki/mantis T, 2k

Summary: So, here’s the funny thing about falling in love with an empath: They know it before you do.

(Mantis and Loki totally confusing each other before a mission. And you know the sad thing? Loki is so emotionally confused that it kinda works…)

Loved and Lost (ao3) - forever_whippoorwill loki/mobius G, 4k

Summary: Loki hadn’t realized how much he had missed the man’s comforting presence until he was here and he could see it. Let me sit here, Loki’s bones begged, at the sight of Mobius just out in his yard, andwatchthe wind blow through your hair and ruffle it in all the ways I want to.

He was too tired to keep that thought from running through his mind.

magic isn’t the answer to everything (only some things) (ao3) - melonbutterfly loki/tony E, 25k

Summary: In which Tony is pregnant, everybody else isn’t (except for two weeks but it doesn’t count), Fury’s chair gets abducted, there’s some panicking, a little textspeak, some overprotectiveness, a lot of tuna, and no fainting.

Modern Warfare (ao3) - Kayah371 loki/steve T, 12k

Summary: Due to an unlucky series of events Steve and Loki end up stranded together across the galaxy, captured by the Collector.

While trying to escape together Loki learns that he may not be the only one good at tricks and Steve realizes that the shield is not his best weapon.

of wizards and heroes (ao3) - storyforsomeone loki/harry T, 85k

Summary: Centuries after that fatal day of the battle of Hogwarts, Harry Potter has fallen into legend, a bedtime story parents tell their children, a name whispered around campfires. He wanders the world alone and immortal, until one single reckless moment sends him hurtling into a parallel dimension of heroes and villains. A new enemy arises from an ancient power, and Harry must take a stand as the last wizard to protect this new world. If only SHIELD would stop trying to track him down…and someone could explain what the hell was an ‘Avenger’ was supposed to be. Honestly, muggles…

Sure (ao3) - usedupshiver loki/tony M, 77k

Summary: When Loki finds the hung over remains of the party animal that is his brother's best friend sleeping on his couch, he's sure it will upset all his plans to spend the day studying. Tony isn't really sure how he got there in the first place, but it turns out he isn't in any hurry to leave.

Tapestry (ao3) - Arvensis5 loki/tony T, 35k

Summary: While in prison on Asgard, Frigga devises her own punishment for her wayward son – she bestows upon Loki the curse of watching the different pathways of what might have been during the attack on Midgard. In one thread, he accepted the drink from Stark. In another, Stark saved him from death. In every thread, the infuriating mortal captures Loki's attention. Now, every time he closes his eyes, Loki walks the threads of fate that never were and that never will be, and in doing so, he must learn from the past to find the future that Frigga has already foretold from the tapestry of fate.

Temptation (ao3) - OwenGrey loki/mobius E, 10k

Summary: Mobius placed Loki in a makeshift prison cell, of him being punched and beaten by Sif in an attempt to get the truth out him. However, when he comes back he does get the truth he wants, but not the one he expects.

That Darn Cat (ao3) - CanterburyTales darcy/loki N/R, 53k

Summary: Thor persuaded Loki to return to Asgard before the portal was opened and the Chitauri invaded. The Avengers cleaned up and that seemed to be the end of it. Unexpectedly, Thor has returned, he's moved into Stark Tower, and he's brought his pet cat with him. A pet cat named NotLoki.

Thor was never very good at coming up with names.

The Sweet Escape (ao3) - AndySkull loki/sylvie E, 50k

Summary: Sylvie’s attempt to bring down the Assassin’s Syndicate is frustrated by their latest addition, Loki, who instead of finishing the job, takes the opportunity to run away from the Syndicate and tag along with Sylvie, the rogue assassin he was sent to kill.

They’ll need to work together for survival, and to bring down the Syndicate while discovering new found feelings for each other.

Twenty-Six (ao3) - pearlofthesea loki/sylvie G, 3k

Summary: Loki makes a discovery about Sylvie, much to her embarrassment.

Vetr / Zima (ao3) - yumekuimono bucky/loki M, 18k

Summary: For his crimes, Loki has been sentenced to exile in Midgard, under the watchful eye of his brother and the Avengers. James has recently been rescued from the clutches of HYDRA, though he wishes people would stop calling him Bucky. They're both on the outside, looking in.

Winterheart (ao3) - orphan_account loki/tony M, 144k

Summary: For his crimes, Loki’s punishment began in a lonely and endless winter. For Tony’s sacrifice, his imprisonment began with a rescue.

A story of ugliness and beauty, inside and out, and learning what the word ‘monster’ really means.