#Ngl I’m proud of these- THIS BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY I LOVE ART AND MY HANDS THAT HAVE ME CREATE THESE JUST THANK YOU-

[whereismyhat5678]

*Sigh* I have an obsession with Pizza Head-

(I also drew Peppino for good measure-)

ALSO- I don’t know who exactly made this sheet but I used the poses from this 👇

I again don’t know who made these but GOD are they talented.

I was looking on Google for reference poses but these are god like and I loved using them, so whoever you are who made this sheet, I SINCERELY thank you 🙏 🙇‍♀️

[franeridart]

Anon said: How do you feel about KamiShin?

It’s one of my main two kaminari ships atm and my only shinsou ship! so I’d say I like it a lot haha

Anon said: i just wanna say ive been following you for a while now, not sure how long so i dont wanna lie but! your art keeps improving more and more and i'm proud of you ok? ok goodnight

Oh my god thank you so much!!! TT^TT that really means a lot to me, both that you see improvement in my style and that you’ve been around long enough to notice!! <3<3

Anon said: since it's October it got me thinking about when you drew vampire kirishima and werewolf bakugou which I absolutely adored!! would you consider drawing more of them?

That’s!!!! actually a good idea, I had totally forgotten about that AU!!! I might get back on it before the month if I find a good idea for it!!

Anon said: Plz tell me we'll see some more bakukirikami soon, I love ur artz so much and my ot3 is so underappreciated...I mean whenever ur not busy of course

Probably not anon, sorry :( right now my focus for kaminari’s romantic life is on different characters, sadly ;; I don’t exclude I might get back on the ot3 with krbk in the future, but most probably not soon ;;;

Anon said: The scars comic is so fuckin good 😭😭

Thank you SO MUCH I’m super glad you liked it!!! <3

Anon said: i can't believe you drew the bakusquad but didn't add ......................... that one nameless old lady hawks helped at some point like?? how dare you?? she's part of the squad obv?? so if you draw the squad you MUST draw all of them! like?? what the fuck??

man I was honestly expecting someone to mention something like this under the last two bakusquad pieces, ngl

Anon said: tetsutetsu is crying in a corner bc no one remembered it’s his birthday too

It’s okay anon, I’m sure whatever you did to celebrate his birthday was more than enough for him!

Anon said: ITS BEST BOI DAY!!!!!! KIRISHIMA CAN CARCH THESE HANDS GIVING HIM A HUG CUZ HE DESERVES IT.

HE SURE AS HECK DOES!!!!

Anon said: Can Denki x Shinsou be called ThunderCats??

You can call it however you want, anon!! who’s gonna stop you, anyway hahaha

Anon said: I’M LATE! I almost didn’t send in an “ask” (read: appreciation ask) this week! Your blog makes me feel safe, and your art style is beautiful!

THANK YOU!!!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3

Anon said: Hey do you have a tag for your au with Baks scarlet witch kid?

Pretty sure it’s tagged as “oc: akane” ! :D

Anon said: Do you have any more idea or headcanons about the teacher Bakugou au?

Not really? I wrote all of it in that one post and then I didn’t really think much about it anymore after, honestly h a h sorry orz my focus isn’t the best, sadly

Anon said: im so sorry that youre not feeling great rn :( pls keep making gifts for yourself and treat yourself to some self-care !! we love you and your art.. honestly i could spend an entire day just going through it all because it makes me so happy. thank you for bringing so much joy into our lives.. i hope that whatever it is getting you down, it is nothing compared to the rainbow thats on the way after the storm :) *throws blankets, snacks, and your fav drinks at you* hang in there!!!

Ahhhh anon you’re way too nice to me!!! Thank you so so much!!!! it was physical health problems, actually, but I’m feeling all better now!! So thank you so much for your care and well wishes, they definitely helped a lot T^T <3<3

[kuuderepunkin]

Match up

A match up for @obsessedwithgems​ <3 <3 <3 

Due to technical difficulties I will not be including her description of herself (but if you want I can add it, love) 

Hazbin Hotel matchup: Sir Pentious 

Man it was a hard draw to decide who to pair you with in Hazbin Hotel but I think the thing that pushed me towards Sir Pentious is your love for snakes, not just cause he’s a lovable snake boy, but it helped me choose between him and Angel Dust. But I think he’d be a better fit just because his little Egg minions would also be a part of your relationship, either to run errands for you or to keep you entertained and happy. Angel Dust is super shippable with people so I was trying to balance where your needs would fall in a relationship (his sexuality slightly worked against him, too) and I do think that having the little crowd of Egg boys would bring a little more joy to your world, while Angel dust himself may drain your overly giving personality. But as I always say! I’m an advocate for loving who you love! So if you like another character? Go for it, my matchups are just based on my opinion of how you and a fictional character meld well- but any couple can work to be a loving relationship <3 . Also a lot of the characters from Hazbin can be jerks but he’s less of a jerk and more of a show off I think, he’d never do you wrong. 

He’s confident enough to break through your shy exterior, he’s loud and bold and will just pull you into a conversation so you don’t have to worry about starting it. 

100% with you on being outgoing and being a bit reckless, he gets so excited he loses his common sense. But he’s more likely to get hurt than you would be. 

He loves being adventurous with you, but he’s a chaotic entity so I can only imagine the laughs you get out of your adventures but it’s therapeutic. 

If you start crying for any reason he stops his ridiculous antics to slither to your side and comfort you. No moment wasted. 

Pentious wraps his tail around you and gently holds you gently caressing your back and running his hand through your hair and gently speaking trying to calm you down. 

If you don’t want him to see you crying he’ll slither away and come back with one of the egg minions and some water. He doesn’t want you to be alone but knows it might be embarrassing to you for him to see you so upset. But it’s important to stay hydrated especially when you’ve cried. He will do everything he can to make it as painless as possible, it’s okay to cry and having feelings is natural and nothing you should feel ashamed about. 

There are so many egg boys that you will not forget to care about yourself, and Sir Pentious will not allow you to not care and maintain your own well being! Your helpful nature is appreciated but you have to care for yourself, and he makes that a rule for you because it’s Hell and he doesn’t want just anybody taking advantage of you. 

The egg boys will treat you like their mother, which is endearing and frustrating? But you do well with children so it shouldn’t be too much different. It’s sweet though, they bring you gifts and draw stuff for you. And they give you lots of love. 

If you’re ever crying they run up to you and ask what’s wrong and they hug you, it’s very cute, you’re never alone with these bubbly dorks. And for your touch related trauma- the good thing is you can tell it’s one of the eggs hugging you, they’re small and oval- it’s easy to tell that it’s them. But they’re not familiar enough for you sir Pentious will scold them and tell them to stay away! No sneaking up on their momma queen! 

When sleeping at night it can either be you and Pentious alone cuddling, his large tail making a little dam around you, keeping your warmth in and making you feel secure.

But all the same, if you’re alright with a couple of the eggs joining you they’re like teddy bears, they scatter around the bed and almost sleep like pets by your legs or hugging Pentious’ tail. 

Pentious’ long arms will be wrapped around your body, keeping you close to his chest with his head on yours. 

And while you may be tougher than you look, you are regarded as his queen! He cannot allow his lover to be in the front line of battle, and not fighting with the riff raf in Hell. He knows all too well you can take care of yourself- you probably beat him up once because he thought you were so cute saying you could handle yourself- but even so he doesn’t like the idea of letting you out alone. It’s not in an obsessive way- it’s just hell is dangerous and he’s a kind of big part in the territory wars so you may have a big target on your back. 

So he’ll send one of his minions with you if you leave without him, but that’s so he knows where to find you, the eggs aren’t great at combat in the first place and he respects your skills. It’s just a safety net. 

Pentious will ask you to sing to him, looking like a begging puppy because he really wants to hear your beautiful voice. Even if you don’t think it’s amazing he will disagree with you on that aspect. “A butterfly can’t see their own vibrant colors! You’re the butterfly in this analogy…. and your singing is your wings-“ he’s only explaining because he realized the analogy might be about beauty and not talent and he confused himself. But he’s so proud that I will not admit that he’s wrong! 

He will let you hold the end of his tail and play with it idly as the two of you talk, or he’s busy doing a villainous monologue. Or if you would prefer you can carry an egg around like it would be a teddy bear. 

One last thing- he loves to put his top hat on you and watch it slide down your forehead because it’s too big. It makes him giggle. 

Steven Universe match up: Sour Cream 

Alright another hard debate but this time because there’s so many good options. Sour cream could really align with some of your interests and he’s a great significant other but I feel like he may have a different emotional expression? From the way he reacted to Steven’s problems kind of makes me think he will struggle with deep emotional struggles you may have- but also that doesn’t mean he can’t be a good lover. And then Pink Pearl would line up with your interests as well, she loves to learn new things, just like her diamond she loved nature and the likes. And she could make you happy- the two of you could work together to take care of each other and help each other heal and grow. She will help you learn the value of taking care of yourself even when helping others. She would love to have fun with you, too. Signing, dancing, doing art, teaching and learning piano with you, it all seems like so much fun to her! And to get to spend time with you! Those all make her so happy. But I ran myself into a circle again! Idk who would fit with you better in a match up. That last push towards Sour Cream was your love of horror and your aesthetic, I feel like he would better understand them. Pearl would love to dress up with you and mimic your style but I don’t know if she would understand how it would fit into self expression, and I feel like horror might scare her a little too much. All the while Sour Cream loves the macabre and mysterious! 

Sour Cream himself is pretty quiet despite how sociable he is, so it’s easy to approach him or have him come to chat with you. He loves talking to people, but he likes the underdogs so if he sees you shying away he would love to approach you. 

When he approaches you he probably complements your glasses and hair, and how it really vibes with your style! Honestly it probably inspires him to make some new music more attuned to the cas emo vibes. 

He is ecstatic when you finally open up and become adventurous because he’s ready to have fun and party with you! 

And the party doesn’t have to be with tons of people, just the two of you going on some wacky adventures or going exploring and just having some fun! 

He would love to go to abandoned places with you, making some fun youtube videos or tiktoks. Going exploring in forests and having fun in nature sounds like a ball to him. He may be a techy guy but he loves doing new and exciting things with you. 

Sour Cream is no stranger to crying, he’s had these feelings of hopelessness when it came to his family and then his career- so I think he understands how best to help you. 

When you need to be alone and let it out he will just slide you some snacks and water and kiss your forehead and whisper he’s there for you when you’re ready to talk. 

If you wouldn’t mind his company he’s there rubbing the back of your hand and back. Water and snacks all in toe, he probably stores them in his massive pockets ngl. 

While you’re easy to fluster, he thinks it’s pretty cute! He will try to make you blush but not to the point of making you dizzy, he just thinks you're so adorable! 

Heck yeah powerful women! He’s so hype for you kicking butt and he has no doubt that you can be cute, hardcore, and kick ass. Sour Cream is your hype man, and biggest fan, he’ll ask you to show him some moves! If you were okay with it! 

Showing him some of your self defense moves can lead to a cuddle pile or a light tickle fight because it’s just the two of you having fun, he thinks your skills are cool and not something he wants to challenge you at- he’s just curious. 

Sour Cream totally gets the insecurity, he has it but has slowly learned how to deal with it. But when he first got into DJing and with the doubt of his step dad, it really weighed on him. So he knows how to help you face those negative feelings. 

Everyone is different on how they handle being insecure but he is always there to be your hype man, and he just lets you know you may not think greatly of yourself but it doesn’t mean you’re not doing spectacular things! 

He loves your singing and asks if you wouldn’t mind him adding some of your vocal tracks into his DJ stuff. 

Sour Cream doesn’t touch without consent, like even holding your hand he asks- though as the relationship grows the way he asks may be more non verbal, like him bumping your hands with his to show he’d like to hold your hand and let you make the first move. But he always makes sure he’s not crossing any boundaries. 

He’s a big cuddle bug, he’s tall and loves to be the big spoon and hug you and curl up. But if you wanted to be the big spoon he’s like “!” He never thought of all those possibilities; it opens new cuddling doors! He’s so excited and 10/10 loves any affection. 

Making you laugh is one of his favorite things to do, he loves to see you happy and full of life, so when you start feeling detached and down he will notice and will move to supportive boyfriend mode. 

He knows you drain yourself by helping others, and helping him at times, so he tries to be the best help for you. 

As your relationship grows he picks up how you help him and will translate it to help you when you need a pick me up. 

Will do his best to give you tips when learning guitar, he knows a few friends who play so he’ll ask them for pointers that he can then give to you. Or if you’re cool meeting his friends and practicing with them he will have a small get together, but there’s no pressure and if you get too anxious he will make an excuse for you so you don’t feel bad about anything. 

He loves horror and honestly he loves a lot of things, this dude is full of admiration and childish awe but it’s all pure. Horror is fun and exciting, it gives him that adrenaline rush. Mystery gets him thinking and discussing different theories with you. Romance makes him mushy and he hugs into you and sometimes he will be extra chessy if you watch a romance flick because it makes him think you want more affection and he really loves to give it. 

Undertale match up: Muffet 

I hope you’re not afraid of spiders, Muffet is such a cute girlfriend and you two would mesh so well in my opinion. I do think monster spiders are a bit different from real spiders, I mean they’re cute in the game so I can just picture them like the Totoro dust sprites. So rather than hairy and spiny legs think soft and cuddly. I can’t say it enough Muffet needs more love, she’s super cute and full of love to give. 

She’s got so many hands to hold, she will let you point at one to hold (I’ve seen this in a comic and I can’t get it out of my head, it’s so cute) and they could be switched out if your arm gets too tired she can wrap her arms around you. 

Loves to comb through and brush your hair, if you’ll let her she’ll try different hairstyles on you. For your goth/emo style she’ll even try to make it fit your aesthetic, maybe doing some macabre braiding with some fun fabric intertwined. 

Heck if you’ll let her she’ll do your makeup, match it with whatever you want, you want it not to be heavy but to give you the intense emo look. Or if you want to look like a goth rock icon she’ll do that! With as many hands as she has it’s easy to get it done, she gently rests her palm on your chin and delicately tilts your head to do your makeup. 

Muffet would adore if you would sing with her, she won’t make you sing for her on your own until you get more comfortable with her because it puts you on the spot. But once you get accustomed to her she would love if you sang to her, she might not be able to help herself and join in. It’s like singing along to your favorite song. 

If you ever express your opinion about your singing being bad she will lightly argue with you, it’s a disagreement and she will explain it as people having a different opinion on music. While you may think your singing is your most hated genre to her is operatic and beautiful! And she will present the fact you’ve gotten awards, so people agree that you have a beautiful voice and are a work of art. She doesn’t push it like it’s a fact, but more so that you may not see your strengths but that others do. 

Loves to hang your art, if you don’t like your stuff hanging around the house you two may share, she will put it in her room or keep it with her while she works. 

You’re never alone when you’re with Muffet, even if she’s not there with you if you seem to be down one of her spiders will give her a heads up and she’ll come to your side to comfort you. 

She loves to cuddle and while you two lay down together she likes to play with your hair and look at your hands, just taking them in her own and comparing them. You’re so interesting to her, Muffet isn’t used to seeing many humans and to be quite frank she doesn’t care too much to meet too many. 

She likes you because of your disposition, your aesthetic, and your interests. Being a human is just another fascinating fact. Your gothic/emo look kind of aligns with her own so she’s excited to discuss fashion with you! Muffet and her spiders will likely create you some fun fashionable gothic clothing based on what you tell her you’re interested in. Or she’ll pick up on the minuscule things that are similar within your favorite outfits. 

Being a spider means she loves the outdoors, broken down, and abandoned locations so going on hikes with you is super refreshing and fun for her. 

She’s so good at comforting you, she’s soft and gentle when speaking, she caresses you gently and knows what to say in tough moments. Gently combing her hands in your hair, and gently scratching your scalp and wiping away your tears. 

She is a wonderful listener and will let you tell her anything, never making you feel ashamed of your emotions- they’re natural after all. And she wants you to know how much she values you and that you haven’t got to feel bad for being who you are. She loves you. 

When you’re blushing she loves to take your face and cup it into her hands and gently squish your cheeks because it’s so cute! 

Don’t you worry about talking to strangers, she can have her spiders handle that for you, any errands you need, they’re very helpful. 

If you want to play with something idly her hand is a good option, it’s romantic and it’s more fun than just playing with your own hand. If you want you can play with two hands, or three!! Honestly as many hands as you would like. 

[sky-scribbles]

2019 Writer’s Round-Up

Tagged by: @greyias, tysm!!

Tagging: @sadmagecentral, @visionmarred and @erintoknow, if you guys want to do this!

Word count

It took a loooong time to plug all of the year’s fics into Word and get an answer to this... the final count is 68,288. Please, no one tell my professors who still haven’t got me to produce two decent 7500-word dissertations.

Number of smut scenes

Two... ish???? Softly and Go Easy were Fallen Hero ficlets that dealt with lemon-ish situations but were incredibly vague because my Disaster Ace brain just isn’t interested in going into details :’D (Me: we could try to write smut now? My brain: but have you considered... angst and tenderness? Me: you got me there.)

New things I tried this year

- My self-imposed ‘one fic a week’ challenge (except during exams...) I’m thrilled that I mostly managed to do it, barring a few weeks where I made art instead or was just too tired. It led to me exploring so many different ideas!

- Writing prompts! I’ve always worried that if I took prompts, I’d never be able to come up with ideas and I’d disappoint the askers, but I had plenty of ideas and absolutely loved doing them.

- A few new formats: Transmission Log , Messages to an MIA Operative, Keystone and Delivered (Not Read) were all epistolary, which was really fun to explore. Most of my FH fics were also in second person, which I was nervous about trying but ended up really enjoying.

Favorite thing I wrote this year

Hhh, that’s a hard one...

Irreparable was one of my favourites to write. Much as I love fix-it fics, taking a blunt look at how deeply fraught Theron and Jace’s relationship is, and watching Jace make it worse with everything he said, was a great ride. 

Astrogation, aka my ‘Revan hangs out with the Outlander as a Force Ghost’ fic, was tricky to write but so much fun. Kess and Zeth are such wildly different OCs and I loved giving them a chance to interact (and kicking the Imposwtor out of the window.)

Over in the FH-verse, This Is You is very close to my heart. Tender Chargestep is good for the soul.

And finally, I have a soft spot for the incredibly angsty Flystep fic What The Water Took From Me. There are some lines in there I’m super proud of and the whole scene plays out so vividly in my head whenever I read it.

Favourite fic I read this year

Oh heck, why don’t I have a fic rec tag? I’ll definitely fix that, and in the meantime...

Everything @sadmagecentral​ touches turns to gold, but this look at Dorian’s past, his relationship with the Alexius family, and his healing with the Inquisition  is a work of beauty. The way a decade of growth is so perfectly summarised in a short story... *chef kiss*

A Taste of Your Skin Starts The Healing by @frozenabattoir is gut-wrenching and tender by turns (just like everything about Argentstep...) and so, so gorgeously written.

I love absolutely everything that @erintoknow does, but especially Your Weak Young Heart. Watching Ari’s journey through her Sidestep days is a wonderful emotional rollercoaster and I loved every word.

And this ficlet by @greyias is lovely and bittersweet and generally perfect :’)

Writing goals for 2020

Hmm, continue the Lionel Shepard ficlets (which began with Keystone.) The idea of a Shepard who doesn’t quite come back right after Lazarus has been in my mind for several years and I’d love to see where it leads me (and Lio and Kaidan. They’re gonna... yearn...)

Finish the Fallen Hero Daemon!AU that’s been sitting in my drafts since August.

And the ‘Wren makes contact with Heartbreak and helps them heal’ AU that’s been sitting around for just as long. This could be a longfic, so I’m still working up the courage...

Do more writing prompts!

Go easier on myself. I’m super proud of myself for rising to the fic-a-week challenge, but sometimes I’ve pushed myself a little hard. My brain loves its structures, but it’s gotta learn that taking a break from a self-imposed rule is not going to make anything bad happen...

Prioritise finals and mental health over fic, sadly :’D I’m going to keep writing as much as I can, just maybe a little less than I have this year.

Words of Thanks

Everyone who’s supported me over this past year! Ngl, it’s been rough in places, and I have no idea what 2020 will bring, but having you all here liking the stuff I make, asking me stuff, and gushing about fictional characters with me has meant so much to me :’)

Special thanks to @monty-s-joy, @jaegerjaguar, @sadmagecentral, @aurrieccentrics, @frozenabattoir, @theebonhawke, @gaydragonwizards and anyone else I might have forgotten because I’m incredibly tired, for screaming about fandom stuff with me, letting me bounce (frequently ridiculous) ideas off you, and generally being wonderful people. <3

[huphilpuffs]

creator tag meme 2019

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! 

Choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by the lovelies @obsessivelymoody, @tortitabby, @det395, @iamalwaysclowning and @outphan! thank you all so so so much for thinking of me 💛

this year was a pretty quiet fandom year for me, ngl. between dnp being more quiet than usual and my life getting pretty hectic between uni, working the summer, and my health issues I just haven’t had the time or energy to create works as much as I used to. but!! I did still manage to post/update 11 fics (idk how many words because ao3 says 134 792 but uhhh that includes all of flares so *shrug*) and a few edits! and I’m mostly proud of what I did put out this year. and I immensely appreciate the friends and community this fandom has continued to offer me 💛

1. flares

okay so I didn’t technically post this in 2019, but I have updated it and it remains my baby so! here it is! (you all know it was coming lets be real.) this story, despite the slow updates, is always such a joy to write. emotionally draining for sure, but there’s something so ... cathartic about being able to write the world as I experience it for once. I’m so proud of how far this story has come and where I intend to bring it in 2020, and am soooo beyond grateful for everyone who has stuck with it since 2018. also, the comments from fellow chronically ill people talking about how they relate make my day/week/month/year and I’m eternally grateful!

2. the scariest part (is letting go)

okay this fest fic got veryyy out of hand but I’m super happy with how it turned out? exploring the dynamics of internalized homophobia while in a queer relationship was just ... very interesting to write. and forced me to think about my own relationship to my sexuality a lot. and gave me a new perspective on the last decade (!!!) of dnp. 

3. family (found)

this was my first time writing something so heavily platonic-relationship centric and I just ... adored it? there’s so much nuance in non-romantic relationships and writing about family dynamics, especially when it’s so sweet and developed over the course of so long, and writing it was just :’) also i fully expected it to flop but it’s one of my best performing fics this year so! thank you!

4. this random edit idk it doesn’t have a title

I edited very very little this year, but right after dan came out I had so much inspiration to play with bright colours and new, authentic dan. the first panel of this edit in particular was really experimental for me and I’m so proud of how it came out. also 12/10 to that song by alex g. I really want to go back to it more in 2020 (even though the fact that I quit again like 2 weeks after he came out may appear to contradict that). 

5. simple kind of love

there’s nothing super special about this fic in terms of writing, tbh, but it was my first attempt at writing femslash and I love it for that alone. it still makes me soft to think about and not just because I high key had a crush on my RA in first year and mayyy not be totally over it 

honourable mention: having the courage to exist project

doing this as an honourable mention because I’m not very proud of the editing/graphic itself but I’m really proud of the concept and am very glad it was something I could put together for everyone who chose to participate 💛

I’m super late to this so I’m not gonna tag anyone but to all the lovely creators out there, if you want to do this, please do. it’s so important to let yourself be proud of yourself sometimes!

[vakariansmonocle]

To my friends

Tl;dr: im a big gay and i love all my friends so much and they have and do help me daily. I am richer for having known you.

This is an extremely long post to my friends tho. It’s pretty heavy at the beginning & end, discussing some more existential things and loss of loved ones. & how i’ve been dealing ( poorly ) with that. But, this is extremely important to me and I would tell them all these things privately, but I want this sort of immortalized on the internet, so everyone knows and can refer to this if they ever doubt themselves, or the love i have for them. if you wanna skip the heavier shit, just look for the divider & the big ol ‘so.’ <3

  The past few weeks have been something of a blur ngl. Its been emotionally taxing and its sorted of sucked. But within the last week, i sort started thinking heavily about my friendships and how much they matter. In the past month i have seen multiple posts from people who recently lost their friends and loved ones. I have seen lives taken at a young age and friendships that’ll be cherished as long as those left behind remember. Multiple times within the last month the explicit message of “Tell the people you love how much they matter to you because you don’t know when you won’t be able to again” has come around. Its a message i know well. I’ve seen my fair share of death; Countless family members passing on from old age. Other students i wanted to see grow. Friends i never got to talk to again. But that last ones always gets me the most.  

  So the past month, I have been dealing with this weight of watching people lose their loved ones left and right and always, always, taken too soon. And i watched how heavily it hung on the shoulders of those left behind. The ever present weight of a void where once there was the bright light of a person whom you loved. And it sort of tugged on my own weight in my chest. It hit that nerve that reminded me of those I’ve lost. And it, in the simplest of terms, scared me. 

Because the truth is, we don’t know when we’ll go. Or when those we love will leave us. We don’t know if one day they’ll have the courage to leave us behind, or whether they’ll leave us naturally. We don’t know who we’ll lose or when. But god i hope its never too soon. I hope to every single god and goddess and being of power that you all get to live long and joyous lives that, with or without me, are the best adventures you have. Preferably with me though, really. Being boring without each other, lets be honest.

So

 its been a month of me wanting to desperately say how much i love you all. Its been me debating if i should liam O'Brien it and make a heartfelt but weird as heck one shot for us to run just so i can tell you all you mean so very much to me, and that i am, and always will be, richer for knowing you. Though that’s still on the table really. But for now I’m writing this. To my friends. To all my friends that i have lost. To all my friends that i will make; I love you.

  To  Neah ( @therifaerie ) a constant source of good. Who has made me laugh, unknowingly, in some of my worst of times. Whom i have only known a short time, but have loved every moment of it. Who i am constantly proud of, and whose parents i would gladly fight in a dennys parking lot any day. Trust me when i say this: you’re gonna be great. You’re art is wonderful and it honestly makes me wanna draw every time i see it, and i can’t wait to see how it looks years from now. You’re gonna do great, and be great, honey. So don’t give up on that, alright? It can only get better, I promise. You deserve so much good, and you’re always a light in our lives, i love you.

 To Lucas ( @scriptuurient ) who has somehow become my other half in most things i do & just in general, really. Who means so much to me, its honestly overwhelming most days. Who i want to live with and see the world with, so we can avoid bad vibe places and count the stars together and talk about rocks when we’re tired or always.  i never thought you would stick to my lame nonsense self, because you met me in a pretty shitty place in the last year, but you’ve proven to me every day you are a light and a hand to hold when things get bad. Who i owe so many laughs to, and so much of my ability to hope to. I am so happy i know you, and I am so excited how far you go, whether it’s on earth or looking up at the sky and knowing you’re up there, literally in space on mars. You’re gonna do wonderful. Never forget to believe in yourself, or at the least, we all believe in you. I love you so much and i am so very proud of you, every day.

  To Dom ( @queerquarian ), my little brother. My best friend. The hand that has clasped my wrist to drag me back so many a time I’ve lost count. The one who has given me love and shown me kindness when i needed most. The one who i think of always as my friend, but more importantly, my family. Who has given me so much, given the world so much, and remains so bright and ever burning light to many even when they themselves are fighting off their own darkness. A constant in my life that I am so happy for, because you always bring this level of comfort i can’t explain. you are my little brother, through and through, and maybe its that love & trust i have for you that makes it so easy and comfortable to talk with you about everything and anything. I unno what it is, but god, it’s great. I’m so excited for you to grow and learn everything you want. I’m so happy i’ve gotten to see you come so far, but it’s not over yet, yea? I love you so much.

  To Michaela ( @myopicmickey​ ), the one who i fucked up with and yet still loves me, even if its just as a friend now. Who has gone through their own journey, and doesn’t know how proud i am of them every day. Who doesn’t know how grateful i am that they let me back in. Who is absolutely one of the only people allowed to punch me directly in the face because im an asshole. The one that’s been there for me multiple times, and the one who knows me probably the best. But the one i wish the most gets to see me grow and live, & that i get to see grow. In a different life, we worked out better. But I don’t regret anything with you, except fucking up of course. I hope there’s forgiveness in your heart for me, hon. You deserve better than me, deserve the world and so much more than I could ever hope to explain.  To the one i love greatly,  who is forever and always my best friend.   

And, To Rachel ( @inuyasha-amv ) the cornerstone of my day to day. Who i CONSTANTLY give shit because what else are friends for than to fuck with each other. Who has been there for me so many times when i needed someone most. Who has shown me so much kindness and love that its hard to comprehend how she does it. One of the few people who have heard me crack and crumble and fall to pieces and stayed by my side through the worst of it. The one who i owe the most to. Because without rachel, i wouldn’t know three of my best friends and i wouldn’t have more budding friendships I’m grateful for. And who i am so excited to watch grow up and finish school so she can make a difference in the world, one day at a time. The one who is constantly giving, and teaching us all to be kind ( and in general random things. ) You’re going to be great, and you know that’s what I believe. & I am so grateful to have you in my life. Just remember, I  hate you, you’re the absolute worst you dingus. Nah, i care about you a lot and don’t you ever forget it ya fucker.

  So. To my friends, my family. Who have given me so much hope and love and laughter and joy. Even if i haven’t known two of you very long, it has felt like ages. I love you all so much. And i am so proud of each and every one of you. I know for a fact i wouldn’t be here without each of you because no matter how little you think you help, you all are the foundation of why i keep going why i hold on so dearly. Because of you, i am alive and living. Maybe its not some peoples definition of living, but it is for me. You all have given me bits of hope and love and kindness that have undeniably helped with healing wounds, old and new. You all are the hands i hold, mentally of course, when i need to grab on. Every i love you and every bit of kindness you have shown me is a very loud, and very bright, double bird fuck you to the depressive thoughts that ever make me doubt it. Because i know that without this wonderful and loving family i have with you all, life would be boring, and really, not worth it. Maybe it would be just to meet another family. But i doubt i would have gotten that far or enjoy that other one nearly as much. Because you all made me realize my own worth, and gave me the support system I needed to feel like it’s worth seeing through.

  To my friends. My misfit family, found in some of my hardest years. The loves of my life. Never forget or doubt that i love you more than you can possibly ever imagine. Never forget that i am proud of you for how far you’ve all made it. Nor how excited i am to fill in chapters of my life with you all in them, how excited i am to watch your stories grow. Never forget that you all are important and mean the world to me, even in the darkest of times, i love you and i care about you. I will always be there for you, & i’ll never stray too far. Because you are never alone, for i am always with you.

[natsudorkoneel]

2, 6, 10, 13, 22, 28 for the artists asks!! :D

sorry this is such a late reply but thanks for sending some in! :D

2. How long have you been drawing?

HOOO BOYYYY ITS BEEN A LONG TIME. Tbh I have always loved drawing and art ever since I was a little kid. It was always something that interested me and let my creativity go wild. I kinda started getting serious about it when I was in Grades 5-7 but it wore off after they got rid of the art option in school and I started getting into acting (im a theatre kid fight me). I started getting super serious about drawing & art again like halfway through Grade 8 aka when I got into anime basically. I started drawing more & more & I also got into digital art as well (which opened up the world of coloring manga panels to me). Now, I am in Grade 11 and drawing has become a huge part of my life believe it or not. I do it all the time whether I’m in class or I got free time, I just draw whatever and whenever I want. Tbh its even an option for what I am going to do later in life and I just love drawing. It’s basically an escape from the bs for me and I can bring people joy & happiness with it as well, and thats something ill always enjoy doing!

6. What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

Thats a hard one tbh, I don’t really enjoy drawing backgrounds tbh like its difficult and just so much work. I also uhm reaaaallly hate drawing hands (im sure everyone can agree with me on that) I am working on trying to get it easier for me to do but its just such a struggle and I hate it sometimes. 

10. Are you confident about your art?

Yes and no. It really depends on the piece & what I am doing specifically. I also could be super confident about a piece, post it online and then not be so confident after when I see it doesn't get the attention I want it to :/ but usually im pretty confident about what I create. 

13. Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people?

Ngl I like doing both but I am usually on the drawing for others side. Like I said, I enjoy when my art can make people happy so when I do that it brings me happiness as well! I also just love sharing my art everywhere and anywhere I can cause I find that more fun than just drawing for myself. 

22. Are you confident that you’re improving steadily?

I am!! Especially with my coloring techniques! If you compare one of the first ever panels I colored to one I colored just recently, you would see a huge difference in skill! As for drawing, I think I have improved a tiny bit but im more stubborn about my skills in drawing than I am with coloring. I definitely would say that my coloring skills are better than my drawing skills and I honestly hate that but one day I wont feel this way hopefully.

28. For traditional artists: what medium do you like the most? (Pencil, charcoals, etc)

I LOVE ACRYLIC PAINT OH MY LORD. I used to hate it so much before this school year but the painting I produced this year I love it so much I put my heart and soul into it it looks fuckin amazing I am so proud of myself and like its so much fun to mix colors like??? I also reallly enjoy working with pencils! 

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