#News Feed 001
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shortnotsweet · 6 days ago
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I aim low / I aim true, and the ground's where I go / I work late, where I'm free from the phone / and the job gets done, but you worry some, I know
“TOO SWEET”, Unreal Unearth: Unending (2024) [ HOZIER ]
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In “Too Sweet” Hozier draws a contrast between two individuals with different lifestyles and preferences, one who enjoys living life at his own pace, indulging in simple pleasures like whiskey, coffee, and late nights while not worrying too much about conforming to societal norms of waking up early and living a disciplined life, and a second individual, presumably the partner, is portrayed as someone who values discipline, health, and structure. They encourage the narrator to live a healthier lifestyle, waking up early and taking care of themselves.
Born from the 3rd Circle of Hell, Gluttony, same as his track, “Eat Your Young”, Hozier examines excessive mess and overindulgence, similiar to Dante’s depiction of gluttony where it not only refers to overconsumption of food and drink but also the overindulgence in any worldly pleasure to the detriment of spiritual growth.
GENIUS ANNOTATION
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revasserium · 5 months ago
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loving you was red
sylus; 4,627 words; fluff, banter, no "y/n", mild spoilers for sylus's main storyline, subtle but not so subtle flirting, nicknames (kitten, little crow), kinda enemies to lovers
summary: the beginning of everything, all in shades of red
a/n: this was supposed to be fun lil drabble; alas, that's not what it turned out to be, but i hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless. i had fun with the banter in this one u__u
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001. fire and brimstone
The city below is a shatter of broken stars, and from up this high, none of it seems real. You cannot reconcile the sight of all those scattered, pinpoints of light with the lives you know shine behind them. You cannot imagine sitting in your living room, scrolling through your news-feed, waiting for the water to boil for late night ramen.
“Trouble sleeping?”
You congratulate yourself on not wincing, on keeping perfectly still.
Sylus joins you by the window, his arms looped lazily in front of his chest, his dark silk robe falling open to reveal his chest. You keep your eyes resolutely on the technicolored skyline.
“Yeah,” you say, feigning a yawn, “just something about being held captive against my will that just… messes with my circadian rhythm, y’know?”
Sylus chuckles, the sound rumbling through him, low enough to make you shiver.
“Don’t tell a girl like you still needs someone to sing her to sleep.” He’s teasing. You know he is, and yet you can’t keep the heat from clawing up the back of your neck. You scowl, chewing on the insides of your cheeks.
“What gives you that idea?” you ask, still in your flailing attempt to seem calm, seem collected.
"Nothing in particular… just… the twins found a shocking number of plushies in your room so —”
"You had them go through my stuff?” you round on him, glaring, your fingers clenched into fists.
Sylus shrugs, peering at you out the corner of his eye, an amused grin ticking at his mouth.
“Feisty little kitten, aren’t you? Though for what it’s worth — they didn’t find much on how your Evol works.”
You huff, turning back to the floor to ceiling windows, knitting your arms tightly across your chest.
“You heard the shopkeeper — we have to — to…” you trail off, the words caught in the back of your throat like peach pits, hard and large and impossible to stomach. You flush, biting down on your lips.
“To what, hm?” Sylus sounds amused, and it’s this more than anything that spurs you onwards.
You turn to glare at him, “To not hate each other!”
Sylus cocks a single, arched brow.
“So, do you?”
You blink, feeling the ever-present heat prickling into your cheeks as you stare resolutely at the skyline outside. From this distance, Linkon City could be any other city, with it’s towering skyscrapers and twinkling lights.
“Do I what?” you ask, your voice softer as you try to pinpoint the exact location of where you used to live.
“Hate me.”
You turn; in the dimness, all you can see of Sylus is his firebrand eyes and his stone-cut features. The dark curve of his mouth and the sharp jut of his nose. When he turns to meet your gaze, you can barely stifle your gasp — his eyes are so red, so deep and strange.
“Brimstone…” you say, without really thinking about it.
Confusion flickers across his vulturine features.
“Hm?”
You lick your lips, feeling the dryness that had since collected there.
“Brimstone,” you say again, shaking your head and averting your eyes, only for Sylus to catch your chin in his fingers and force you to look back at him, to be swallowed up by his gaze, “it’s… something from… the ancient religions. It’s — back when they believed in gods and monsters, people would use the word brimstone to signify divine wrath…”
His finger slacken on your chin and you let your head fall as he takes half a step away.
He lets out a mirthless laugh, his eyes faraway as he stares out at Linkon City, laid out before his feet.
“I can’t say I know much about gods, but… monsters?”
You swallow, feeling the imprint of his fingers on your skin.
He turns back to look at you, his gaze soft, but no less startling. You feel an unnamable fire frisson up your spine and skitter back down again.
“Monsters are very, very real,” he leans in, closing gap between your body and his, till he has you nearly caged against the cool glass of the penthouse windows. He shifts to brush away a strand of hair, tucking it behind your ear with too-gentle fingers. His next words are whispered, his voice in a register so low it almost sounds like the shadow of sound — he leans in, his lips brushing by your cheek till you can feel the heat of his breath right next to your ear —
“And they look just like you and me.”
002. lipstick
“So at the auction —”
“Just do as I say, and you’ll get what you want.”
You narrow your eyes in the mirror, staring at the reflection of Sylus fastening a pair of ornate silver cufflinks to his impeccably tailored suit.
“Give me one reason to trust you,” you say.
Sylus looks up, a hand still on his cuffs as he meets your gaze in the mirror, unflinching.
“Since when have I ever asked you to trust me?”
Over on the dresser, Mephisto lets out a soft caw that sounds almost mocking. You swirl to glare at him and he has the decency to flap his mechanical wings, shuffling until he’s hidden from view behind Sylus’s shadow.
Sylus laughs, “Alright — settle down, little crow.”
You frown, “Little crow? What happened to kitten?”
Sylus shrugs, “Changed my mind. Figured little crow fits you a bit better. You know — loud, defiant…” he smirks as his voice trails off.
You don’t try to hide your consternation, “Often associated with murder?”
Behind him, Mephisto lets out an indignant ca-caw.
You try to sidestep Sylus, only to find yourself trapped against the mirror by his strong arms. He grins down at you, his canines flashing over his lower lip as he cocks his head.
“Like I said, fits better, no?” he asks.
You stare up at him, trying to make out what he’s thinking behind those firelight eyes of his.
“Let me go — I still need to finish my makeup,” you say, pressing a palm to his chest. You try not to think about the firmness of his muscles beneath your touch, or the heat of his skin, even through all these layers of clothing.
“What else is there?” he asks, his eyes flickering over your features; you shiver, feeling the weight of his gaze as it sweeps over your face like a sudden flare of heat, “you look pretty finished to me.”
You lick your lips, and feel a strange, savage satisfaction at the tick of his eyes down to your mouth, at the way his pupils dilate, at how they track the slow progress of your tongue as it laves across your bottom lip before disappearing back into your mouth.
“Lipstick,” you say, trying not to sound too smug.
Sylus puffs out a laugh before reaching over to the low dressing table and grabbing a tube of lipstick. He uncaps it with a finger, and twists out the color without once breaking your gaze. Vaguely, you feel your stomach tense, and you ponder the unfairness of this one, single act — how could he look so stupidly attractive doing all this when he’s got you trapped here? Like some sort of exotic songbird in a golden cage.
“T-that’s not the color I wanted —” you say, but even to your own ears, you don’t sound convincing.
Sylus’s smile slackens into a lopsided smirk as he tilts your chin up to press the cream of the lipstick to your lips, dragging it delicately across one way, then back the other.
“Press your lips,” he says, his voice softer and gentler than you’ve ever heard it before.
You do, feeling a stifling thump-thump-thump rise up to beat against the back of your throat as his eyes flick down to watch you.
“Mm… as I thought, this color looks great on you,” he says, pulling back to admire his handiwork.
You feel the air rush back into your lungs in a single, searing breath, caught between the urge to brace your arms against your knees and heave, or to drag your hand across your mouth to rid yourself of the lipstick.
You do neither though, because at that moment, the twins call from outside the door —
“Auction’s about to start!” says Luke.
“Hope you’re both ready!” says Kieran.
Sylus straightens, capping the lipstick with a sharp click. You force yourself to calm down, to focus on your breathing — four counts in, seven counts out.
“Are you ready?” Sylus asks, his tone once more whiskey-smooth and just as potent.
You roll back your shoulders and give a quick nod, speaking to yourself just as much as you’re speaking to him —
“Sure. Let’s get this over with.”
003. blood and roses
There’s blood on your hands and blood on the pavement. The world shimmers around you in wildfire and smoke.
“… so… so much blood…”
“You can’t die here —” Sylus’s voice cuts through the memory like a struck chord, resonating inside you till it’s the only thing you can hear, “that life you owe me? It’s not your time to pay it back yet!”
You reach for him, and the moment you feel your palms connect, a bead of heat pulses out from the center of your clasping hands. Your skin is slick with sweat and blood, but his hand beneath you is oddly cool and smooth.
The charred ashes of the beaten Wanderer fall around you like flakes of misbegotten snow; you wave your free hand to keep the pieces from falling into your eyes. A river of light seeps from the Deepspace Tunnel into the center of your chest, glowing brighter and brighter until it coalesces into a familiar gem-like shape.
It comes to a rest between your fingers seconds before it cracks, the light flickering once along the seam before going out.
“It — the Aether Core —!”
“It’s power is yours now. Why’re you so surprised?” Sylus doesn’t let go of your hand, but realizing this, you pull away first, and he makes no move to stop you.
“D-did you know?” you ask, unable to keep the accusation from seeping into your voice.
“Does it make a difference?”
You clamp down hard on your bottom lip, weighing the answers. It isn’t until you reach up to absently card your hand through your hair that you notice — your wrist and his, linked together by a tangible string of red, pulsing power.
You gasp, “W-what —?”
“Tch.”
You wave your wrist, watching as Sylus’s hand follows the movement. Your cheeks darken as he looks away, sighing audibly.
“If you planned this —!” but your words are cut short by a sudden wave of vertigo — the world spins around you and for a second, all you can see is the pinwheeling stars above you, the bright, pulsating edges of the Deepspace Tunnel, and then — everything fades to a sweet, merciful darkness.
You wake up to the smell of roses, and a warm body next to yours. Groaning, you try to shield your eyes from the light filtering through the massive windows.
It takes you a second to orient yourself, and to realize why your wrist seems so heavy as you try to lift a hand and rub at your eyes.
“Looks like you’re up early, though Mephisto still has you beat.”
You blink blearily up at Sylus, sitting next to you in bed, his back propped up on a fortress of pillows, a tablet in one hand, the other still linked to your wrist, half-raised to your face.
You squeak, ducking down to hide beneath the covers, hurriedly wiping at your eyes and your mouth, a mix of horror and embarrassment mounting in your stomach as you realized you must have been drooling in your sleep.
“What did you do to me?!” you demand, pulling back the covers when you’re somewhat certain that you don’t still have drool-marks at the corners of your mouth.
Sylus, for his part, looks only mildly ruffled by your sudden stint back to wakefulness. He takes his time setting down the tablet with his free hand and picking up the steaming mug of black coffee.
“You fainted,” he says, as if that explains everything, “after the resonance worked. Though it makes sense you would — after finally getting the Aether Core and all —”
“No! I mean —” you gesture desperately between you, the pristine linen sheets twisting around you both like waves on a white-sand beach, “how did I — we — get here? Who changed me?” you ask, your cheeks flaring up even as Sylus sips at his coffee, seemingly content to watch you sputter yourself dry.
“Really? After all that, the first question you have is who changed your clothes?” Sylus asks, a distinct tone of mockery clear in his every word.
“Shut up! You know what I mean!”
“Do I? I don’t think I do — you’re going to have to be a bit more specific.” He grins, all splitting lips and too-white teeth. You stare, dumbfounded at his nonchalant expression before huffing and slumping back into your own pile of pillows. You blink, throwing up your free hand to shield yourself from the too-bright light of sunrise, shining straight into your eyes.
Wordlessly, Sylus taps a few buttons on his tablet and the windows darken, filtering out the harsh morning light, leaving the pair of you in a dim, yet luminous shadow.
“I just —” you cut yourself off before you can ask yet another mundane question, and finally, after a few minutes of mulling over what exactly it is you want to ask, you settle on, “what now?”
Sylus shrugs, casting his eyes back down at his tablet, setting his half-drunk cup of coffee on the bedside table.
“Now, we do whatever we want. You have your Aether Core and I have mine,” he lifts up his wrist, shaking yours in the process, “and we try to figure out how to manage this.”
“And if we don’t?” you ask dryly.
Sylus chuckles, “Then, we figure out a way to live with it.”
You roll your eyes involuntarily, “Ugh. Of all the people to be stuck to…” you mutter to yourself. And though you’d said it quiet enough for it to be an afterthought, both of you knew Sylus had been too close not to hear.
He scoffs, pulling you close, tipping you off balance so that you topple face-first into his chest.
“Wake up, little crow,” he says, his tone caught halfway between mocking and maleficence, twisting your face till you’re forced to stare out of the window at the dulled-out skyline below.
“You think you’re so great, being a Hunter and getting rid of Wanderers,” he says, a sharp venom seeping into his words as he speaks, and slowly, he punches a button the tablet that makes the windows un-tint themselves.
You watch as the sunrise bleeds itself dry over Linkon City, the harsh, morning light slicking the entire city in a vapid, orange glow.
“The brighter the light, the darker the shadow — do you really think that just because you and your little Hunter friends are out there killing Wanderers and saving the world, that there isn’t the a need for people like us?” Sylus pushes you away from him. It’s not a harsh move, but it’s not exactly gentle either.
And again, you can’t help feeling the imprint of his fingers, almost as if burned into your skin as your rub at your jaw.
It’s when you turn to glare at him that you meet his gaze and find him staring at you with a look that’s much more haunting than ghost. Much more longing than loathe.
“Well… you’re one of us now. And newsflash, little crow — sometimes, the world just doesn’t want to be saved.”
You let his words sit with you, like river stones, hard and smooth, feeling them sink slowly down the length of your throat to settle somewhere in the wide basin on your stomach. You avert your eyes, and it’s only then that you notice the bouquet of flowers sitting on your bedside table.
“What are the roses for?” you ask, reaching out your free hand to run a thumb along a single, velvet petal. It comes off at your touch, and you watch it fall against the unmarred white marble of the table top.
“A little present,” Sylus says, waving you away, “a thank you - for a job well done last night.”
“You don’t need to thank me,” you say, unable to keep the bitterness from your tone, “it’s not like I had much of a choice.”
“You did,” Sylus says, “you could’ve killed me. And you didn’t.
“I could still kill you now,” you say, though there’s no conviction in your voice at all. Instead, you reach out to tug at another dark red petal. It comes off just as easily as the one before.
“You could. But you haven’t. And don’t you think that warrants a reward?”
004. dawn
“I’ve never hated you, you know.”
You frown, squinting against the early-morning light.
It’s not the first time you’ve found yourself waking up next to him, and you think it won’t be the last. You flip onto your side to face him, feeling a familiar rush of heat crest into your chest as you come nearly nose to nose with him.
Sylus barely even flinches, cocking an eyebrow before reaching out to tug a stray piece of hair from your face.
“What?” you ask, even though you know full well what he’d said. So maybe, you just wanted to hear it again — is that so terrible?
“Hn,” Sylus grins, rolling onto his back to cast his eyes up at the ceiling, “I said you’re getting drool on my pillows.”
You squeak, fumbling to wipe at your face before the realization hits, and you jerk up, pouting.
“That’s not what you said!”
“Then you did hear,” Sylus casts you an amused glance.
You lick your lips, the soft cotton of sleep still muffling the world such that everything except him feels strangely out of focus.
“I — I heard… a word here and there —”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible liar?”
You scowl, whipping around to pin him with a stare, “Where I come from, that’s not a bad thing.”
Sylus’s eyes tick towards you, his expression amused as he appraises you, and not for the first time, you feel yourself go warm beneath the solar-storm fixation of his attention. Like this, you can feel the air between you blistering, as oil to a lit fuse, as his eyes travel over the planes of your face, the curve of your shoulder, the thin silk strap that had since slipped to cling to your upper arm.
“No? I suppose not,” he concedes, pushing himself up, reaching over the bedside table to push at a small button on the far side. Somewhere else in the penthouse, you can hear an alarm bell ring.
“What’s that?” you ask, pointing.
“Coffee,” he answers, and you fall silent again, turning your face away from him to look back at the heartbreak city, carved in shadows against dawn’s liquid light. It’d only been — what — a week? A bit more? And yet you can’t bring yourself to see the city the same.
Nothing has changed — not really.
But everything’s different, you think, as the door on the far side of the bedroom cracks open and Luke peers in with a smug smile and two steaming cups of coffee.
“Black for the boss, and milk and sugar and all the trimmings for the little crow.”
Sylus tsks, a frown digging itself into the space between his eyebrows, his eyes flashing as he takes the two cups. Luke, to his credit, jerks back, dancing out of Sylus’s reach.
“Ah — sorry, sorry — didn’t know that was a special nickname,” he says, making a show of stooping to apologize, though neither of you miss the jesting crow beneath his voice.
“Out.” Sylus orders, and Luke doesn’t waste time scurrying from the room, cackling beneath his breath like a gleeful child.
You take your cup from his hand and give it a dainty sip, adjusting yourself against the pile of pillows.
“What? I thought that nickname was your idea.”
“It is,” Sylus says, relaxing back. The tether between your wrists sits slack and nearly invisible on the sheets between you. He stares down at the dark liquid surface of his own cup before turning to smirk at you, “doesn’t mean it was meant to be shared.”
You clamp down on another wash of heat, threatening your cheeks as you sink a bit deeper into the luxurious bedding. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to sleep on sheets this nice again once you figure out how to break the tether between you and you’re finally allowed to go home.
“Why say it where other people can hear if you didn’t want them to pick it up?” you shoot back, determined to get the last say, at least in this.
Sylus sets down his cup, cocking his head to look at you, “It’s not a joke if there’s no one around to hear the punchline.”
You level him with a glare, “Is that all I am to you? A joke?”
“Shouldn’t be a problem if I’m just your captor, right?”
You open your mouth to retort, only to find your voice stolen by the sight of him, kissed gold by the rising sun. You’ve never been one to obsess over beauty but even you can’t pretend to be unaffected.
Like this, he looks hewn from marble, a statue at the loving hands of a besotted sculptor — a lazy god rendered into silk and stone. He is smooth skin and burning eyes and a jawline that might’ve been turned on a diamond cutter’s lathe. There’s a base carnality in the way he looks at you (and looks at you) — his gaze so penetrating that somehow, you don’t think you’ve ever been seen this way before.
There’s a damnable elegance to him, even as his lips twitch up into a tell-tale smirk.
“What?” he asks, leaning forward just an inch, but the distance feels exaggerated by your closeness, such that suddenly, you’ve got to lean back to look into his face. He licks his own lips languorously, and you feel your chest tighten on a torque, caught in the turn of his smile.
“Kitten got your tongue?” he asks.
You shake yourself, shifting back slightly, “You’re mixing your metaphors,” you say, trying to keep your eyes from straying back to his face.
“They’re my metaphors to do with as I wish. So. Aren’t you going to answer?”
“Answer what?”
“What you think you heard me say, right before you woke up.”
You cup your palms around your coffee mug, feeling its heat seep steadily into your skin. There’s a familiar tingle at the tips of your ears and you know you’re already blushing.
Stupid coffee, you think, trying hard to school your expression into a frown, stupid Sylus, you add to yourself, taking a long sip and biting back your sigh of relief at the mundane magic of caffeine and sugar.
“Does it matter what I think?” you sidestep the question.
Sylus doesn’t miss a beat, “If it didn’t, would I have asked?”
The torniquet in your chest twists tight enough to make your stomach flip as well. You chew on your bottom lip, mulling over your answer.
“I never hated you…” you say, finally, your voice barely more than a whisper or a breath. And even as the words fall from you like so many rose petals, you’re unsure if you’re repeating his words back at him or making an admission of your own.
Sylus only shifts back to his side of the bed, leaning against his pile of pillows. Your wrists sit atop the sheets, inches apart, and yet you can’t deny the dull pull of gravity between you, as if something beneath your skin is itching to be close to his.
You turn to face him, twisting your fingers in your lap.
The quiet softens around you both, settling until you let out another long breath.
“So…” you drag out the word as Sylus glances up at you, expectant. His eyes flicker with the fire of the rising dawn behind you, and in them, you can see the shadow of yourself, painted in darkness against the light.
“What’s for breakfast?” you ask.
Sylus chuckles, his head listing sideways as he studies you.
“Whatever you’d like.”
“Hm…” you make a show of swinging your legs out of the bed, shivering slightly as your feet come into contact with the cool marble floors, “are there pancakes?”
Sylus stretches his arms over his head, letting out a soft groan that evokes something inside you that you’d rather not examine at the moment. You keep yourself turned resolutely away from him even as you hear the distinct sounds of him getting out of bed as well.
“No, but there can be — you only need ask.”
“Fine, I want pancakes,” you say, finally turning around, only to find him standing right behind you, his silk robe discarded on the floor by the bed, his chest broad and entirely bare. Your breath catches in your throat as he cocks an eyebrow.
“Is that asking?”
You crinkle your nose, forcing air back into your lungs.
“Okay, okay — can we have pancakes?”
Amusement dances behind his eyes as he bends over you, propping a hand casually on the dresser behind you to limit your movements.
“And the magic word?”
You narrow your eyes, “Nevermind!”
“Mm — wrong. Two more tries.”
You try to duck under his arm but he catches you easily, spinning you back around to face him, nearly sweeping Mephisto from his perch on the dresser. The crow lets out an offended caw and flaps off towards the far end of the room, coming to a disgruntled rest on the back of a satin loveseat.
“Let me go!”
“Wrong again — last chance.”
You sink your nails into the skin of his forearm, trying not to think of the taut muscles corded there. He doesn’t even wince, though for a second, the tether between your wrists flares up like a fanned flame.
“Fine! Please!”
Sylus straightens with a satisfied smirk, turning around to make for the bedroom door. Your chest is heaving, and the sudden space between you make your head spin. You blink at his retreating form, and it isn’t till he reaches the door that he turns to glance at you over his shoulder.
“Hope you like raspberry jam.”
You level your breathing and hurry to catch up, clutching your own sleeping robe tighter around your chest as you fall into step next to him.
“I thought you didn’t like sweet things.”
He opens the door and steps aside for you to walk through first.
“I never said it was for me.”
---
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arlerts-angel · 4 months ago
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❝𝒀𝑶𝑼'𝑹𝑬 𝑪𝑼𝑻𝑬 𝑾𝑯𝑬𝑵 𝒀𝑶𝑼'𝑹𝑬 𝑺𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑫 !❞
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𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐄, 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄 ! welcome to arlerts-angel's official 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 2024 masterlist! 🔪 i have six fics planned, including a new fandom! 🩷 as always, 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓. wanna be tagged? leave a comment! lmk what you think about everything! i worked really hard on this!
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▸ 001. 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑 — incubus!naoto
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: your occultist friend gets turned into a sex demon on all hallow's eve and uses it to his advantage.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fem reader, ghost sex, dubcon, somno
▸ 002. 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃, 𝐈'𝐌 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈'𝐌 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 — werewolf!draken
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: little red riding hood got lost on her way home from a halloween party.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fem reader, size difference / abo
▸ 003. 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐒 𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐍 — vampire!armin
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: he only wakes on halloween to feed, but the blood goes straight to his cock!
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fem reader, stalking, biting/marking, blood play
▸ 004. 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐔𝐍? — ghostface!sylus
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: he chased me and he wouldn't stop...
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fem reader, fear play, breath play, praise/degradation
▸ 005. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐌𝐄 (𝐔𝐍𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐎 ��𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃) — priest!zayne
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: who knew sinning could feel this good?
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fem reader, roleplay, worship, blasphemy/sacrilege
▸ 006. 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 — rin itoshi ( fics for gaza kinktober )
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: your boyfriend looks so good in his costume, you just can't help yourself!
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fem reader, costume, clothed masturbation, semi-public
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pink blood divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more
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lunarw0rks · 1 year ago
Note
HEYYY just wondering if I can do a request of an experimented reader? (They can be any animal or anything)
❀*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Patient 001 // 141 Mini Drabbles
Warning(s): FailedExperiment!reader, gn!reader, medical procedures, drugging mention, kidnapping, blood, injury, death, animal testing mention, angst, hurt/comfort, no use of y/n Word Count: 2.6k ꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ 141 MASTERLIST // have a request? ˗ˏˋ ASK BOX ˎˊ˗
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A/N: I hope this isn't too dark for what the anon requested. If it is, I apologize. I've been interested in this plot line for a bit, and wanted to write something for it!
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SYNOPSIS; You're a failed scientific experiment. Once a civilian, now a half-human that had gone through hell. Your other half, now a mutated creature.
To no longer be human would be a blessing. But that part of you stayed, partially. Still terrorized from the experiments, the tests, the documentation of your transformation.
Then came the day you were found.
MISSION BRIEFING; Their orders were simple.
Evacuate innocent technicians — and most importantly — find the location of the catastrophic chemical component, before it ends up in the wrong hands.
What was behind the doors, they'd certainly never forget.
Ghost
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His rifle remained raised in front of him as he swept each room. It was obvious the enemy knew they were coming. All he'd found so far were empty sterile spaces, understimulating exam rooms, or numbing cubicles filled to the brim with charts.
Until he heard it.
A sickening screech, like that of a person possessed by a demon. Echoing off the tile walls, much too loud for the lung capacity of a human - and in deep anguish.
Simon's heart stopped when he pushed through the double doors, seeing a huddled figure left behind bars. Not a scientist left behind. Not a prisoner of war. Something.
The glow of your eyes reflected off the blinding white fluorescents, irises matching that of crimson. Your flesh, once human-like, is now sunken and riddled with healed slashes. Most of them self-inflicted, from when you thrashed against your restraints.
When you saw the figure, looming and dormant, it reminded you of the scientists that spent hours observing your changes. How you shrieked when touched when something as small as a pin dropped. Every noise was heightened, making your ears ring painfully. Your hearing could track the sound of potential prey for miles. And your tender skin? Only soothed when you weren't lucid enough to remember the pokes and prods.
Every week, it was a new serum, a new component. Something they would give you to study its effects on your body. Whatever you were, it was a mystery. All you did know was that you craved the metallic taste of blood.
Similar to that of a hungry hound, or that of urban legends that hunt unsuspecting hikers. But you weren't cruel. You weren't a cold-blooded beast that wanted to rip their throats out. That's what kept you around so long.
Your empathy never subsided, like it was supposed to. Your feedings were only that of animal blood or the human samples they gave you in the hope that it would progress the experiment. It never did. It only left you in that cell longer; fearsome and isolated.
"Christ..." Simon muttered to himself, eyes wide. The figure approached the enclosure, his rifle lowered when he observed your fear. He wasn't holding a syringe, not a clipboard, not a video camera, not even a vile of blood for you to choke down. Your vermillion gaze inspected the man with uncertainty, who looked like that of a soldier.
Your fatigued limps crawled across the scuffed cement until you could use the bars to find your feet. Something you couldn't do when the scientists were monitoring you. After so long huddled on the ground or writhing on the cot, it was a relief, if that was possible anymore.
Despite his best judgment, his fingers reached through the bars until they found your fingers. "I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered, his British rasp ringing through your overly-sensitive ears. For the first time in months, you touched the warm flesh of a human hand, not an unempathetic gloved one.
It was a natural reaction to flinch; that primal side of you overshadowing the human one. But you still had the ability to find genuine empathy in his amber eyes. Your hand wrapped tightly around his through the gap in the bars, savoring the once-deprived human contact. "Do you remember your name?"
Price
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Price took the riskiest route; the one he wouldn't dare send his team into head-first. The pathway that took him through each of the hidden laboratories — the one only countless hours of digging for intel made him aware of.
It was more chilling than he foresaw.
Rows of exam rooms, shelves of unknown components, countless cages of small animals. All that is expected in a covert scientific compound.
That is... until he stumbled upon a sealed room different from the others. One that could only be inhabited by a human being. He stared in each direction of the hallway, finding a keycard left on one of the bodies.
It was his duty to clear every room, no matter how disturbing the contents would be. Behind the plate glass room that resembled that of an enclosure. A small table and two chairs, a video camera, and most shockingly — the trembling figure in restraints on a thin foam mattress. One who has clearly been poked and prodded for months straight, littered with scars and an almost inhuman appearance.
The man approaching you wasn't a threat, but that didn't stop your body's natural reaction to hide. After months of enduring tests and experiments, being monitored like some sort of creature — it was hard to trust anyone. "My God... What have they done to you?" Price murmured as he approached the cot, fingers finding each tube and removing them one by one.
His expression was one of pity and disgust as his mind imagined all the awful things they put you and your body through. Countless months of research and injecting new components into you clearly didn't turn you into some monster.
You were frightened and in agony — still human underneath it all.
"Can you move your fingers for me? Your legs?" He asked softly, bent down next to your bed. Your shaky fingers finally gained some movement, after he had cut off the constant drip of sedatives. Next, you hesitantly untucked your legs, feeling your bare feet touch the icy tile for the first time in months. It was like learning how to walk all over again, except now you weren't the same you.
Your senses were heightened — smell, eyesight, hearing, and most of all touch. His palm found the small of your back as he led you to the door of your cell, using the keycard he swiped to unlock it from the inside.
As he led you through the corridors, he grabbed a spare lab coat off one of the racks, placing it over your shivering shoulders. No scrubs, no sweats, only a loose white gown. If he wasn't so focused on keeping his eyes peeled for hostiles, he would've given you his own jacket. The entire building had to be kept cool and they hadn't bothered to give you something warmer to wear.
He spoke into his radio, alerting the rest of his team as they combed through the rest of the compound. Right now, his priority was making sure you ended up somewhere safe tonight. "You're safe now, alright? Nobody will put their hands on you again."
Not a place with sterile white walls, a bed to sleep in with more than a thin foam pad, a place where your every move wasn't monitored. A place where the human part of you could feel safe again.
Soap
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The power to the compound was cut off when Soap's team breached the tight security system. It was a faulty system — unlocking all the electronically sealed doors instead of the opposite. And the lights, instead of a blinding white, were dim and flickered repeatedly. Most likely the emergency ones.
Enough light to guide you through the corridors, but not enough for his trained eyes to be entirely sure of no threats.
He was using his instincts, his sensory training; all he had to rely on as he crept through the halls. Eerily silent halls. The only sound is the hum of all the technology littering this place and his boots hitting the smooth tile.
Eventually, he found one of the testing rooms; a place that is bound to have some chemical components stored.
Through the glass viewing window, he could see that this space was heavily used. Video cameras, viewing chairs, viles and IV bags stored on refrigerators shelves. Most chilling - the chair with restraints. The one you’d been bound to so many times, poked and prodded by medical tools.
The longer it went on, you felt it more. You weren’t lucky enough to go numb to the pain. It had the opposite effect. Every ache, every stab, every head-splitting migraine.
Soap’s brows knitted together in focus as he maintained his stealth, keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of actionable intel. Though this room was dimmer than the rest, with emergency lights even more faulty than the ones in the rest of the building. He had to squint to clear the space in front of him, which hindered the rest of his senses.
Perhaps that's the reason he didn't hear the enemy behind him, or why he got a few stabs into Johnny's abdomen before he managed to fight him off. He slumped against the wall of the lab, comms jammed and unintelligible. Soap had convinced himself this was it, the moment he began seeing double from blood loss.
This was your long-awaited opportunity to escape - the electronic lock on your room failed when the compound was breached. You glided down the corridors, eyes trained ahead of you. What would the world out there be like? Would you ever have a semi-normal life again? This wasn't something you just move on from.
A sharp pain in your abdomen made you wince. But it wasn't pain from a true injury; it was a phantom ache. Someone nearby was hurt — someone deserving of your help.
It was a heavy debate; make your escape now, leave the maimed individual to fend for themselves. But your empathy outweighed your selfishness. The faint distressed prayers got louder as you crept inside one of the testing rooms.
The figure, one of a soldier, clutching his stomach in the same spot you had just felt the pain. Soap's eyes could barely adjust to the person approaching him, only managing a mumble. From his perspective, it must've been terrifying. A gowned, sickly patient with shaky hands outstretched to him.
He made his best attempt to fight you — which wasn't much of a fight at all. You lifted the crimson-soaked tee, wincing as the phantom pain kicked into high gear. The closer you got to a person in pain, the more intensity there was. It was time to use your new abilities by choice. Not one of the scientist's papercuts, not a wound they intentionally inflicted on a lab animal.
Your hands hovered over his inflamed stab wounds, teeth gritted in focus as you knelt next to him. One moment, Soap was delirious from blood loss, sputtering out incomprehensible phrases. The next, the searing in his abdomen reduced to a mild ache.
Then a tickle. And then nothing except the warmth radiating off your fingertips. The stab wounds faded from his flesh right before his eyes.
You had taken away his pain; somehow, in some way.
For a moment, he imagined this was heaven. An angel of mercy escorting him to the high place, though he was always convinced he'd end up in the fiery one. When not blinded by pain, he could finally muster the ability to speak again. "Who are you?" He wanted to ask what you were, but the empathy bleeding from your eyes pulled at his heartstrings. Those eyes; cloudy on the irises. And your sickly features, now filled with more life after healing him.
You were much too drained to answer. It was your first time saving a human in such a critical condition. Healing drained every ounce of energy from you. Before you could answer, he rose to his feet, wrapping one of the stray quilts around your trembling shoulders. "Ye saved my life, it's the least I can do."
Gaz
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The raid was by no means straightforward. Nonetheless, it was strange to Gaz how few intel pieces he found. A few files he skimmed, some compelling blueprints — but nothing actionable. Once again, the rules of engagement prevented him from pushing the bounds of the code he followed. Another catastrophe is around the corner with an aloof public, yet there's nothing he can do but follow orders.
But there was more to this facility than met his eyes. Kyle knew it, and his instinct was rarely wrong.
There was a rattle on one of the lower levels, like that of a chair scraping against the floor. A faint scream. Then silence. No gunshots, no explosions, no enemies making callouts, not even his comms alerting him to check that level. It was obvious he was the only one who heard it.
He kept his sidearm raised ahead of him, eyes dancing around the motionless halls of the place. Whatever it was, he was going to find it; with or without following orders. "Anybody down here?" Gaz's own voice echoed off the walls. Still, no sound followed, not while he crept down the flight of stairs. Down the hall, he swept every room, finding nothing and no one once again.
Get out of there, Garrick. There's nothing here.
Price's comm almost swayed him — almost made his shaking hand that was hovering over the last door knob lower. Then he heard another clatter inside the room, one he couldn't ignore, despite his Captain's firm orders to evac.
He could take a serious hit for this, he knew that.
It wouldn't be his first time pushing the limits. Every time he did, he saved someone or something. If he didn't do that this time; he wasn't sure he could handle that weighing on his conscience.
It wasn't an enemy, he would've attacked the Sergeant's weak points by now. Kyle opened the door labeled Observation — his last hope of making this treacherous move worth it. Another shuffle sounded from inside. "If you're in here, show yourself!" The door creaked open as his sidearm remained at the ready, though it quickly dropped to his side when he caught a glimpse of the gruesome scene.
You curled into a ball and let out gasps and whimpers. Around you, a blood trail led up to the body of one of the technicians. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision; you heard the shots, and his hands were on you. You acted on mere impulse, which seemed to be more common after all the experimentations.
Gaz felt like he had dry-swallowed a big pill. You weren't a hostile, not even a scientist. You were some form of maltreated lab rat — one that had finally snapped and didn't know what to do with themselves.
You raised your head from your hands, showing him your face wrinkled with both fright and shock. An obvious adrenaline high, from what he was seeing. Kyle held out a hand, holstering his weapon as he approached slowly. "I'm here to help, alright?" He spoke cautiously, kneeling beside you to meet your crouched level. His hand found your forearm, tracing a hand over the number tattooed on your skin.
The thought was sickening — a human being meddled with, imprisoned in this place for testing. His instincts were proven right again, yet another person he could still save. It was tempting to act on that instinct again, to put up your walls. But this soldier was your last chance at freedom, and whatever half-normal life you might be able to salvage after all this.
His hands found your waist next, guiding you to a standing position. "You stay behind me and you'll get out of here. I promise you." Kyle spoke to you softly, before leading the way out of there. You'd never seen the outside of the observation room, not once in all the time you had been kept there.
He allowed you to cling to him as he retraced his steps, ascending the staircase. Gaz had saved you — point blank. Any longer, and you would've been an abandoned trial by the scientists, or wrongfully executed during the siege.
No amount of paperwork would make this choice any less worth it.
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xdarkestdesirex · 7 months ago
Text
Calamity - Hide x f.Reader
Volume One
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Calamity (n.) a great misfortune or disaster
You think you're just like every other 18-year-old girl: just starting college, living alone, and working at a cute cafe, except you aren't because you're a ghoul. Trying your best to blend into a world that isn't your own, and then you meet him. Hide. He's unlike anyone you've ever met, and you slowly fall for him. But will it ever work between the two of you? He's human, and you're not.
This is a Hide x female reader, and this fanfiction story will be based STRICTLY on the mangas, including the novels.
The plot of Tokyo Ghoul and the characters are not mine. They all belong to Sui Ishida.
I don't allow anyone to copy my story, publish it on other platforms, or alter it as your own.
This writing contains highly sensitive topics like violence, gore, mental illness, talk of suicide, death, smut, and other mature themes. Reader discretion is advised.
word count 10877
“Humans are thought to be at the top of the food chain… But some beings hunt them as food. These monsters feed on the dead flesh of humans. They are called…
Ghouls.” 
-Tokyo Ghoul Volume 1 #001 Tragedy by Sui Ishida
——————————
The sound of the TV lofted through the brightly lit cafe. A news channel was showing an interview with a man named Hisashi Ogura, a ghoul researcher, explaining what ghouls are and how they act. I stood behind the coffee bar, dressed in my work uniform, which consisted of a cream blouse with a gray vest layered on top and a brown tie wrapped neatly under the collar and tucked below the vest. A brown skirt with two pleats in the front that hit my mid-thighs, shear tights covered my legs, and a pair of platform leather loafers adorned my feet. I blocked out the sound of the male voice coming from the screen on the wall and stared at two customers sitting at a table across from me. I noticed the one with dark black hair from his frequent visits to the cafe, but the friend across from him was someone I barely saw. He had short, dirty blonde hair with dark roots and gleamed as a smile crossed his face. The other boy’s cheeks turned dark pink, and I couldn’t help but wonder what the blonde was teasing his friend about when suddenly, the vibrant boy shot out of his seat and yelled out to Touka. 
“Hey! Can you take our order?!” His giant smile grew, and he looked down at his friend and gave him a little shove. 
“Sorry, (Y/n), can you take this?” The plum-haired girl turned towards me and walked away from the beaming boy. I sweat-dropped at the explicit rejection of my co-worker to deal with these boys and then made eye contact with the blonde. He sent me a small smile and a faint blush crept up on my cheeks. From the few other times he made a brief appearance in the cafe, I couldn’t help but be drawn to his bubbly, adorable appearance. I walked out from behind the counter, gripping my notepad, and sent them the best customer service smile I could muster. 
“I apologize for my co-worker,” I bowed, “What can I get for you?” 
“I’ll have a cappuccino!” The bright boy turned to his friend, “What about you?” 
“Oh, uh, I’m okay, thank you.” The dark-haired boy shyly spoke. He was always the quiet type when he came in. 
“One cappuccino coming up!” I said, turning around to walk away, but someone grabbed my hand and stopped me. I looked to see who caught me, and it was the boy I admired from the coffee bar. 
“Can I ask a question?” He looked up at me with beautiful olive eyes and a silly smirk.
“Of course,” I replied. My heart was beating quickly in my chest.
“What is that girl’s name?” He pointed over towards Touka. My face dropped, and I felt a strange knot in my throat. I don’t know this guy, but it’s still a hit to your ego when someone you’ve been silently crushing on asks about another girl. “I think she might be the girl my friend has a crush on.” He gestured to the boy next to him. Oh, that makes sense. I guess I worried for nothing. 
“Her name is Touka.” I directed the answer to the dark-haired boy, “She’s lovely once you get to know her!” Touka would kill me if she heard me talking about her to a boy. 
“O-oh, no, s-sorry!” The poor boy looked like he would burst from embarrassment, “My friend is mistaken! She’s not the girl I have a crush on! Though she is cute.” He trailed off and said the last part quietly, but I could still pick it up. Heh, he thinks she’s cute. I’m so going to tease her about this. 
“WHAT?” The blonde looked taken aback, “I swear I was spot on with my guess.” He turned back to you, “Sorry about that!” 
“It’s okay,” I said, chuckling. Finally, I broke free from the boys and returned behind the bar. 
I grabbed a bag of espresso roast coffee beans and poured a small amount into our espresso grinder. It sputtered to life and poured the coffee grounds into the portafilter. Once it was filled, I pressed the coffee grounds down, compacting them into the portafilter, making sure not to pact them down too much. I placed the portafilter onto the espresso machine, put one of our mugs below it, and started it up. Slowly, the deep brown drops of coffee began to fill the cup, and the smell of brewing beans wafted through my nose. I inhaled the bitter scent and felt my body relax instantly. Coffee is the only thing I can relate to with humans, and the smell of it has always calmed my nerves. While the espresso was pouring into the mug, I grabbed a jug of whole milk from the fridge, poured it into a cup, and then placed it under the steam wand. Once I steamed the milk, I poured it over the espresso, topped it with foam, and drizzled a heart on top with caramel. 
I brought the cup over to the blonde boy and sat the cup in front of him. Once he looked down at the mug, his hands shot up to his face, and he cooed, “Awww, you put a heart on it!” Instantly, my face turned a bright red, and I cursed myself for putting a heart. I was too proud of my coffee art to think about the embarrassment I would feel after bringing it over to him. He turned towards me, “What’s your name!” 
“Oh, uh, I-I’m (L/n) (Y/n),” I bowed, “Nice to meet you.” I mentally facepalmed myself at being so proper. 
“I’m Hideyoshi Nagachika, but you can call me Hide!” He reached out and grabbed my hands. “Do you have a boyfriend?!” WHAT? Did he just ask me that? I think I’m going to faint.
“N-n-n-no,” I stuttered out. I could feel the palms of my hands getting sweaty, and I only hoped he wouldn’t feel it, either. My whole body was on fire, and I could feel the eyes of other customers looking at us. Did he have to be so loud while being this direct? 
“Could I possibly-” 
“(Y/n)!” Touka called me, interrupting the blonde boy, “What are you doing?”
“A-ah! I have to get back to work!” I pulled my hands away from the blonde, ran over to Touka, and lowered my head in shame for getting distracted while working. Touka may be younger than me, but she can be scary. As I got back to work, I could hear the dark-haired male scold his friend for being obnoxious, and the words that fell out of the vibrant boy’s lips shocked me, “She’s cute.” 
Touka stared at me angrily when the door opened, looking like she was also about to scold me. I took this moment to greet the customer and saw Rize walking through the doors. It made me uneasy whenever she came in, but I knew I could do nothing about it. She was a binge eater, and just thinking about the things she does to people makes me sick. But I still greeted her the way I do with every customer. 
A few minutes passed, and I was back to standing behind the counter, cleaning up things lying around. I decided it wouldn’t be wise to go back to staring at the dirty blonde boy after our encounter, and I did my best to distract myself. The sound of a chair squeaking made my eyes snap, and I saw the bubbly boy leave his chair. “Good luck, dreamer boy!” He waved to his friend, sporting a bright smile, then turned slightly to look at me and yelled, “See you later, (Y/n)!” And then he walked out the door.
I patted my hot cheeks, trying to calm them down, and Touka stared at me for a second before rolling her eyes. “Seriously?” She leaned closer and whispered, “He’s a human.” Then, she walked away from me. Yes, he’s a human, and I’m a ghoul. There’s no way we could ever be together, but a crush has never hurt anyone. 
——————————
These past few days, I couldn’t help but worry about Hide’s dark-haired friend, whose name I found out is Kaneki. Once the blonde boy left the cafe, I saw Kaneki interact with Rize and overheard their plan to go out on a date. It was coming up tomorrow, and I struggled to find a way to warn the poor boy. Just from looking at him, I could tell he was pretty weak, and he wouldn’t stand a chance against Rize. If he were at least a bit strong, maybe he would have the opportunity to defend himself, but even then, he probably would still fail. She’s a strong ghoul, and nothing gets in her way of feeding. There wasn’t anything I could do about it either unless I wanted to expose myself or Anteiku, and I would never do that. 
My best course of action would be to follow them. I knew where they were meeting and what time, so I could just lurk in the shadows and ensure Rize didn’t do anything to Kaneki. It was settled then. Tomorrow, I will watch them. 
*
Morning came, and I got ready for my day of spying. I wore a pair of black jeans and a band T-shirt with a pair of black Converse. I threw my (h/c) hair into a bun and tossed a black zip-up hoodie and a pair of sunglasses into my bag. Was I being too obvious? Most likely, but oh well. I didn’t want to stand out; I could blend into the darkness if they hung out at night. Before leaving my room, I grabbed the book on my coffee table and shoved it into my bag. I needed something to hide behind, just in case. 
I arrived at the restaurant they were meeting at a bit after the time they stated to make sure I wouldn’t be seen by the two. When I entered, I got the waiter to seat me in a corner behind Rize’s back so she couldn’t see me. As I watched them talk, they seemed to be having a good time, and I could see the faint dusting of blush on the boy’s cheeks occasionally. Rize was a master disguiser when it came to being a ghoul; she knew how to blend in with humans, and it surprised me that she didn’t touch the food on her plate once. I’ve seen her pretend to eat before, so was she avoiding it right now because she didn’t want to spoil her appetite for later? I still wasn’t sure what I would do if she attacked him. I’m too weak to fight against a ghoul of her strength, and I couldn’t risk him knowing about me either. Maybe I could run into them? Tell her we had an important topic to discuss with her right away. 
After following them around for the day, everything seemed okay. Maybe she wouldn’t hurt him today, and I can warn Mr. Yoshimura about her plans. It was nighttime, and the only things lighting the streets were a few lamp posts. I threw my hoodie on not too long ago and slowly watched them as they came to a stop. It was time to part ways, but Rize made up some excuse of being scared to get Kaneki to walk her home. Shit. She’s going to kill him. I was about to dart out of my hiding spot when I saw a group of girls walking in my direction. I noticed one of them as Touka and panicked, so I threw myself back into the hiding spot and watched as they slowly walked by. At this point, the couple I was stalking, for lack of better words, had disappeared. Once the high school girls were out of sight, I ran towards the alley I saw Rize and Kaneki walk down. Before I could even enter it, a loud bang rang through the area as steel beams came crashing to the ground. I fell backward and covered my face as the debris flung towards me.
This isn’t good. I quickly picked myself off the ground and ran towards the beams to see if the poor dark-haired boy was trapped in the destruction. It didn’t take long to see him poking out from under a beam, crushing him into the ground, and a puddle of blood surrounding him. Fear coursed through my veins, and I could feel the change in my demeanor. My eyes flashed red, and I suddenly felt a pang of hunger. I clutched my stomach and shook my head. Fuck. I did go past my feeding time with how busy I’ve been lately. I can’t let myself lose control now. Not after how hard I’ve worked towards controlling myself. Once I pulled myself together, I grabbed my phone and dialed the police. I couldn’t just leave him here to die.
——————————
After the incident with Kaneki and Rize, I stayed by to ensure the black-haired boy was still alive. I didn’t move him from his spot, scared that if I did, it would be the difference between him dying or not. When the police and ambulance arrived, I gave them my statement and asked to remain anonymous. I know doing that was risky, and I could’ve exposed myself by staying there. Thankfully, they didn’t prod me too much with questions but told me what hospital Kaneki was being transported to, which brought me to where I am now—standing in front of that hospital and questioning why I was even here. I wanted to check in on the poor boy and ensure he was doing okay, but I didn’t want to see him directly. 
I took a deep breath and walked through the hospital doors to the front desk. A lady sat behind the counter and looked up at me impatiently, “How can I help you?” Her voice was monotonous. You would think they’d hire bubbly people to work the front desk at a hospital. This place is already depressing, and people like this lady don’t help the atmosphere. 
“I just wanted to check the condition of one of the patients here,” I said.
“What’s their name?” Her hands were ready to type once I spoke.
“Ken Kaneki.” Her fingers started working her magic, but another voice spoke behind me before she could say anything.
“(Y/n)?” It sounded slightly familiar, but not enough for me to know who it was immediately. I turned around to see the bright, blonde-haired boy.
“H-Hide!” I should’ve expected him to come and check in on his friend.
“You’re here to check on Kaneki as well?” Looking at me puzzled, he scratched his head, “I didn’t know you guys were close.” 
“Are you also a friend of the boy?” The lady behind the counter interrupted our conversation. 
“Yes, I am.” The blonde boy's face settled into a straight line, a more serious look, away from the bright smile he usually wore when I saw him at the cafe.
“Then I’ll tell the both of you so I don’t have to repeat myself. Kaneki is in stable condition and doing well, but he’s asked for no visitors.” 
I glanced over at Hide, and his eyebrows scrunched down. He looked disappointed and sad. I’m sure he wanted to see with his own eyes that his friend was okay. 
“Thank you, ma’am,” I turned to face the boy beside me, “Can we talk?” He nodded his head.
He followed me out of the hospital, and we walked side by side in silence. I wasn’t sure where to start. I knew I couldn’t tell him that I stalked them cause I knew Rize was a ghoul, but I could at least explain that I just happened to be passing by when the steel beams fell. I’m sure he’s suspicious of me, and I wanted to clear my name. 
“I know of a cafe we can go to if you’d like. I’ll pay.” I spoke. 
“Is it Anteiku?” He lightly joked.
A small chuckle fell from my lips, and I shook my head, “No, there’s one right down the road that’s pretty good.”
“Alright, let’s go.” 
The blonde boy seemed deep in thought as we headed towards the cafe, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty for his somber appearance. If I had stopped their date beforehand or pulled Rize away from Kaneki, then Hide’s friend wouldn’t be in the position he’s in, or if I had been strong enough to fight her. I gripped my fist tightly and cursed myself for being weak. Yes, I called the police, but I could’ve prevented him from ever getting hurt. 
We made it to the cafe and were seated at a small table facing the window. I ordered an iced americano (something I could drink) and some avocado toast. I couldn’t eat the toast, but I’m good at pretending to enjoy food. I watch many videos on YouTube of people going out to eat, and I like to stay on top of food trends for people my age. Hide ordered a cappuccino and a piece of cake. Once our food and drinks arrived, I picked up the toast with my hands, bit right into it, swallowed it whole, and pretended to chew. Then, I sipped my coffee to wash away any foul-tasting food I ingested. 
“So, why were you at the hospital to see Kaneki?” Hide questioned.
I sat down my food and dabbed my face with a napkin before responding, “I was there at the incident.” I decided to get straight into it.
“Wait, what?!” I guess what I said was the last thing he expected, given how his mouth hung open in shock.
“I don’t live too far from the area where it happened,” Which is the truth since I live at Anteiku and it wasn’t very far from the incident, “I was out for a late night walk cause I was feeling a bit stressed when suddenly these steel beams came crashing to the ground. I wasn’t close enough to be caught up under them, but the whole thing scared me. Then I remembered seeing two people walk towards where they had fallen, and I needed to make sure they were okay. So I started looking around. It wasn’t long before,” I paused for a second to take a deep breath. It wasn’t like I wasn’t used to seeing people in the state Kaneki was in when I found him. I've seen worse, but the negative thoughts from earlier came crashing back. A pair of solid hands lightly gripped mine, and I looked up to see the vibrant boy looking at me worriedly. 
“It’s okay (Y/n), you don’t-” 
“No, I have to tell you,” I cut the boy off and squeezed his hand in mine, “I saw Kaneki lying there. I recognized him from Anteiku and h-he- there was a lot of blood. I was sure he was dead, but when I checked for a pulse, I felt something faint.  So I called the police immediately but didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t see the other person he was with, so I just sat there and stayed with him till help arrived.” 
Hide rubbed his hands over his face, “I-I’m so sorry you had to witness what you did,” He looked up at me with tears threatening to spill from his eyes, “But I’m so thankful you were there to be with him and call for help.” His voice broke, “My best friend could be dead right now if it weren’t for you, so thank you.” 
Having Hide thank me made all my emotions surface, and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I dropped my head into my hands to cover myself from the gaze of onlookers. Then I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me into a hug. I nuzzled my face into the bright jacket of the dirty blonde boy, and he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. We both sat there crying while embracing each other. It felt good to have him be grateful to me, but I still felt guilty and don’t think that’ll ever go away. Hide offered to walk me home when we left the cafe, and I accepted it. We didn’t talk much during the walk, but the silence was comfortable. It was nice to have the company, at least. He tried to crack a few jokes to lighten the mood, and he succeeded with it. I couldn’t help but giggle whenever he said something funny. 
Once we arrived at Anteiku, Hide cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. “I thought I was taking you home.”
“This is home,” I smiled at the boy, “I live in an apartment above the cafe. That’s how I started working here!” 
“Oh wow! I didn’t realize people lived up there.”
“There are a few of us who live up there. Thankfully, there are only a few apartments, so I have fewer neighbors.” The blonde boy chuckled at my statement, “I guess this is where we part ways.” I whispered.
“I guess so,” Hide smiled slightly.
“Thank you for walking me back,” I said, walking up the steps to the door.
‘Wait!’ he yelled out. I stopped to face him once again. He rushed up the steps and got close to me. A fit of heat crept up my face from the sudden closeness. “Could I get your number?” 
“U-um, sure.” If my face hadn’t been red, it would be red now. I reached into my back pocket, pulled out my phone, and handed it to him. He gave me his, and we swapped numbers. 
“Thank you again, (Y/n), for looking after Kaneki.” He said one last time before leaving. I pressed my back against the wall and slid down once he was out of sight. I can’t believe that just happened. 
——————————
It had been another steady day at the cafe, and I didn’t have any classes today, so I worked an entire shift from opening till 4 pm. Like always, I stood at the counter, waiting for Touka to return from school so she could swap me out. These past few days have been emotional and tiring, not to mention how I had to come clean and tell Mr. Yoshimura everything that happened with Kaneki and Rize. We spent the past few days reviewing the event in detail and ensuring nothing leads back to Anteiku. I felt terrible for putting our group in danger by exposing myself as a witness to the police and other ghouls by being there when Rize got killed. We had concluded that what happened most likely wasn’t an accident since so many people were after her. Meaning we must be extra careful and lay low for a while. 
There have also been rumors floating around that the doctor who performed surgery on Kaneki used Rize’s organs as a transplant to save him. Mr. Yoshimura seemed concerned about this and asked us to watch for him. He feels like it could affect him in a way that we wouldn’t be able to comprehend. So I’ve been lost in thought over everything that’s happened, and my guilt has only grown. Mr. Yoshimura was kind and told me he was proud of me for saving the boy, and even though what I did was a considerable risk, I made the right choice. Even Yomo brought me coffee and an extra meal to spoil and make me feel better.
A small smile spreads on my face after I think of how Yomo cares for me. We’re not family by blood, but he took me under his wing when I was little. I was around 7, and he was only 23. Why did he look after me like I was his own at such a young age? I couldn’t understand, but he’s been like a father to me all these years. Being here at Anteiku has been a blessing; the people here are all my family. Without everyone’s help, there’s no way I would survive in this world. Many ghouls would struggle without the kindness of Anteiku and Mr. Yoshimura. 
  Suddenly, the door was thrown open, and an angry, disheveled Touka came storming through. Many customers glanced at her; some knew why she looked the way she did, while others looked at her with judging eyes. 
“Hey, Koma, can you watch the counter while I check in on Touka?” I asked the male on shift.
“Of course, (Y/n)!” He smiled at me.
I quickly wandered back and headed up the stairs to Touka’s room. Knowing she would tell me to go away, I didn’t even bother knocking, so I just barged straight into her room. She whipped around quickly, looking at me with her signature annoyed look.
“Ugh, how often do I tell you to knock.” She said.
“What happened?” I asked as I sat down in her chair by the desk in her room.
“Why do you think something happened?” She huffed back.
“Because I’ve known you for a while, Touka, and you don’t try to hide it when something pisses you off.”
“Fine, an asshole was trying to push himself onto me on my way here from school, and then another asshole showed up. He was a ghoul as well, so I killed the old fuck trying to grope me, and I offered some of him to the other guy cause he seemed hungry. Then I noticed only one of his eyes was red, and he looked a lot like the guy Rize took on a date. I tried to get him to eat, and he refused. He looked at me with disgust before running away.” 
I just sat there in shock over the fact that she told me all that so easily; I didn’t have to pry it out of her, and holy fuck… Kaneki is a ghoul now?!
“Touka, I’m so sorry some slimy bastard was pushing himself on you. I disagree with killing people, but he had it coming.” I paused momentarily, “As for the boy who looked like Rize’s date, you need to tell Mr. Yoshimura about him.”
“Why?” The plum-haired girl became defensive.
“He might need help.”
“He’ll be fine. If I had to figure out my way in this shitty world alone, he can too.” The young girl crossed her arms and glared at me.
“Touka, please just go talk to Mr. Yoshimura,” I begged the girl.
“I make no promises,” she said, walking towards her door and gesturing, “Now please leave so I can get dressed.”
I sighed and left the room, knowing there wasn’t much I could do. I’ll tell Mr. Yoshimura myself if Touka doesn’t talk to him by the night’s end. I returned to the cafe and let Koma know she was okay. Only a few minutes had passed before she made her way behind the counter, and I was finally free to go to my room. Walking down the hallway, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed a number I had yet to message. The phone rang a few times before a deep voice answered on the other end.
“Hey (Y/n)! This is a surprise.” His voice came through the speaker and whispered into my ear. Even talking on the phone made my cheeks heat up slightly.
“Hide, is this a bad time?” Before I asked the real question, I wanted to ensure he wasn’t busy.
“Nope! I just left class and am heading to a meeting for this school festival. We can talk while I walk!” 
“I just wanted to check in and see how Kaneki was doing. Have you seen him lately?” I’m unsure if Hide knows he’s out of the hospital yet, so I have to see what he knows about Kaneki. 
“Oh, yeah, he got discharged from the hospital a few days ago, and I took him out to eat as a celebration.” His voice didn’t sound as enthusiastic as before.
“That’s good. I’m glad to hear Kaneki is doing okay. How’s he doing… mentally?” I hesitated to say that last word. Dealing with trauma can be rough, but if he’s turned into a ghoul, then he must be going through something even worse.
“He did seem kind of out of it the whole time we were out, and he looked pretty pale. He couldn’t keep down any of the food he ate. I was worried about him, but he said he’s still healing.” So he couldn’t eat the food at the restaurant. I’ll have to tell Mr. Yoshimura this information and what Touka saw. 
“It might take a while for him to feel normal again,” if he can even feel like that after what happened to him. “Thank you for updating me, Hide. I appreciate it.”
Once Hide and I got off the phone, I wandered down the hall to Mr. Yoshimura’s office and knocked on the door. I waited for his okay before I entered and sat in front of his large oak desk. 
“What can I do for you (Y/n)?” He propped his hands on the desk and gave me his undivided attention.
“It’s about Kaneki. I told Touka to talk to you, but I don’t think it can wait.” He looked at me with deep, squinted eyes. “She saw him not too long ago and noticed one of his eyes was red. He looked hungry but refused the meat that Touka tried to give him.”
“So he’s part ghoul and refusing to eat.” The old man paused before continuing, “We need to contact him before the hunger consumes him.” 
I agreed with Mr. Yoshimura, and we sat together and discussed ways to approach the dark-haired boy without scaring him off. We wanted to help him with this new way of life and teach him what it means to be a ghoul—if he’d let us, and maybe he could help us understand humans better. I begrudgingly told him about my encounter with Hide at the hospital and how we swapped numbers. I hoped to keep this secret, fearing Mr. Yoshimura would forbid me from talking to the vibrant boy. He didn’t fully agree with me talking to the human, but he didn’t say I wasn’t allowed to. Which I was silently thankful for. 
We devised a plan for me to ask Hide for Kaneki’s number so I could personally check in with the shy boy. I would then message Kaneki, telling him I was the person who called the police during his incident and that I would like to meet up with him. From there, I would ask him to meet me at Anteiku and invite him upstairs, where I would lead him to Mr. Yoshimura’s office. We would then explain that we understand his situation and would like to offer him help. I wasn’t sure if this would work, but trying didn’t hurt. At least we would know that we reached out and tried even if he refused us. 
Together, Mr. Yoshimura and I made our way down to the cafe. We wanted to gather everyone and meet about our possible new friend. Since it was the end of the day, the cafe should be locked up, and all the customers are gone. The only people left should be the other workers like Touka and Koma, and soon, Yomo would be returning from his patrol of the area. When we reached the cafe, the only person we could see was Koma mopping the floors. He told us Touka was outside taking out the trash. As we got close to the door, we could hear Touka’s loud and clear voice. She was yelling at someone, and she sounded agitated. The last thing I heard before Mr. Yoshimura opened the door was Touka saying, “You can die for all I care.”
Once the door was flung open, I saw the dark-haired boy kneeling on the ground. He had a green hoodie on with the hood pulled over his head. Tears were streaming down his face, and his left eye was red. He looked terrified, and my heart clenched as I stared at the poor boy. I couldn’t even imagine what he was going through. His world has turned upside down, and I could have prevented it. 
“Touka,” Mr. Yoshimura’s voice cut through the tension. Kaneki looked up at the older man, and his eyes fell on me in the background. Without realizing it, I shrunk behind Mr. Yoshimura, trying to hide from the boy’s gaze. “It must have been rough,” The old man shifted his body and opened the door wider to invite Kaneki inside. As he walked past me, I kept my gaze on the floor. I didn’t realize how shameful I would feel for him to find out I was a ghoul. If he knew about my involvement when the beams fell on him from Hide, then I wouldn’t be surprised if he blamed me for what happened to him as well. 
Touka argued with Mr. Yoshimura about letting the poor boy into Anteiku, but the older man shut her up by saying ghouls help each other. The plum-haired girl and I followed quietly behind the two men as Mr. Yoshimura led us to the secret refrigerator where we kept human meat for ghouls who couldn’t hunt independently. The grey-haired man grabbed a wrapped pack of fresh meat and handed it to the troubled boy. Kaneki hesitantly grabbed the package and stared at the raw human meat in his hands. His dilemma of what he would do with it was evident in his eyes, and I could relate to his feelings. There was a point in my life where I refused to kill another human so that I could survive. It drove me insane to the point where the hunger devoured me. I no longer knew who I was, and my sense of humanity disappeared. 
I went on a binging spree, and the amount of blood I spilled that day was enough to last a lifetime. Yomo found me in hysterics and had to knock me out so I could calm down. When I awoke, I was in Mr. Yoshimura’s office, and he offered to help me. He told me that I would never have to worry about hurting another person. I was initially hesitant when they started to give me my meals, and it took a lot for me to finally give in and eat again. Ever since that moment, I haven’t killed another human. 
“Please come back when you need more,” Mr. Yoshimura smiled at the boy. Kaneki thanked us for helping him and left quickly. 
“I-I’m going to head to my room,” I said farewell, leaving Touka to glare at the older gentleman in the hallway. She was pissed, I could tell, but I wasn’t in the headspace to stay and explain what happened along with Mr. Yoshimura. He didn’t need me to help anyway. That old man always knew the right things to say. 
*
The sun had finally set for the night, and I was starting to feel agitated in my room. Since Kaneki came by the cafe, I’ve been throwing a pity party for myself, and I needed to stop. I decided some fresh air would do me good and headed out of the cafe for a walk. I was dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, with the hood pulled over my head and a pair of headphones shoved into my ears. Loud music blasted into my eardrums, and the cool night air nipped at my nose. My feet took me down the alleyway near Anteiku, where ghouls usually hunted at night, but I stayed clear of the feeding corners. 
Being a ghoul, you knew whose turf was whose, and if you got caught wandering around an area you weren’t allowed in, a fight would break out. I’ve been in this area long enough to know which alleyways I could walk down peacefully and which I should avoid. The area my feet decided to take me was Rize’s old hunting grounds. With her being gone, I knew this area should be desolate. No ghoul lurking in the shadows scared that Rize might rip their heads off for being in her area, and no humans due to the high number of ghoul killings in this section. But my peace was interrupted the further I walked into the maze-like alley. 
I stumbled across a ghoul named Nishiki Nishio holding someone against the wall while he ranted about having his territory disturbed. Gah. This prick. I’ve never liked him since we briefly met a few years ago, and if I ran into him, I would do my best to ignore him. I felt terrible for the hopeless ghoul he was threatening, and then I realized the ghoul he was threatening was none other than Kaneki. I stood there frozen, unsure of what to do, like the date situation all over again. But I’d be damned if I just stood around this time and didn’t interfere, so without thinking, I stepped forward.
“This isn’t your turf, Nishiki. It belongs to Rize.” I used the excuse of this area being Rize’s turf in hopes it would scare him, but when he cocked his head to look at me, all he did was laugh.
“Don’t be so silly, (Y/n). Everyone knows Rize is dead.” His manic eyes stared into mine.
“It doesn’t matter if she’s dead. Anteiku oversees the 20th ward, and if you want a hunting ground, you have to go over it with Mr. Yohsimura.” My voice was stern as I glared daggers back at Nishiki. He let go of Kaneki’s neck, causing the boy to fall to the ground and gasp for air. The tall brunette slowly walked my way, eyes glaring red and hands clenched into fists.
“I can’t stand you guys over at Anteiku. That old shithead pisses me off with his human-loving hippie shit.” He stops a few inches from my face, “This used to be my turf before that binge-eating bitch came into town, and now that she’s dead, it BELONGS TO ME.” He spat. I didn’t want him to see that I was affected by anything he was doing, so I tried to summon my inner Touka and held the meanest RBF possible. 
“And I can’t stand pricks like you,” Maybe I summoned her too well because the next thing I knew, the tall brunette was lunging at me. I quickly dodged Nishiki’s attack and unleashed my kagune. My kagune was a koukaku type, otherwise known as the sword kagune, and it was released right below my right shoulder blade and warped into a sword-like figure around my arm. It almost looked like the kind of sword you would see in a fantasy video game, and not to fluff my ego, but my kagune is really pretty. 
I stared down the angry male and prepared myself for another attack. He might be more robust than me, but I could severely injure him if I time my move right. As he dashed at me, I used my sword to slash a gaping wound from his right cheek down to his right hip. He yelled in pain and collapsed to the ground. Nishiki quickly pulled his body off the ground, cursing under his breath, and sent one last glare before sprinting in the opposite direction.
I let out a deep, shaky breath and fell to my knees. That was scarier than I thought it would be. I’m not the type of ghoul to get into fights or provoke others. Usually, I stick to myself and avoid others at all costs, and if I find myself in a sticky situation, then I’m getting my ass beat. 
“W-what even are ghouls?!” Kanekis voice broke through the silence, “You guys kill humans and your own!” 
  “Kaneki-” 
“YOU’RE SICK!” His yell pierced deep within me, and all the shame I felt my whole life was brought to the surface. He’s right; we’re sick creatures. Tears threatened to spill down my face, but I held them back.
“I-I’m so sorry,” Was all I could choke out. I stayed there on the ground and watched the dark-haired boy scream out in agony. His left eye was beating red, and his veins started protruding through his skin. He was suffering. Not just from the agony of being turned into a ghoul but from the ever-consuming hunger eating away at him. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?” 
His head whipped to look straight at me, and his face contorted into disgust, “I could never eat human flesh!” 
“Kaneki, I understand what you’re going through, but if you don’t eat-”
“I’ll never allow myself to become a monster like you! I’m a human being!” Tears flooded down his face, and his hands gripped at his hair, “A-and you, (Y/n), better stay away from Hide. I won’t let you ruin his life like Rize did mine!” 
Hide? Did he tell Kaneki about me? Of course, he did. They’re best friends. But Kaneki is right; a monster like me should avoid Hide and all humans. Our worlds don’t mix. I pushed myself off the ground and ran away from the dark-haired boy before he could see the waterfall of tears cascading down my face.
——————————
A loud alarm jolted me from slumber. I rubbed my swollen eyes from a long night of tears, and a deep sigh escaped my lips. I wish I didn’t have to go to school today. The most sleep I got, in total, was around 3 hours. The thoughts swarming my head wouldn’t shut up, and at some point in the night, I let out an anguishing scream. This wasn’t a rare occurrence; unfortunately, I’ve had night terrors most of my life and would wake up screaming. Yomo came rushing in to see the stains of salty tears streaking my cheeks, and he quickly wrapped me in his arms and petted my hair. He whispered that everything was okay and that it was all a bad dream, but this time, everything that had happened was real. The long, white-haired male was able to calm me down and lull me to sleep. Now I’m awake again. If I let every night like this keep me from going to school, I would miss most of my classes, so I dragged my body out of bed. 
I quickly washed my face, brushed my teeth, and beat some concealer into my skin to hide my lack of sleep. I decided to wear a cropped, long-sleeve top with thick stripes going across and torn fringes dangling from the bottom, along with oversized mom jeans and a pair of Doc Martins. My school bag was just a plain black crossbody tote, and I slung it over my shoulder, giving myself a once-over in the mirror before leaving my room. As I made my way to the cafe, I quickly stopped by the fridge and grabbed a few bottles of our nitro coffee. I will need all the energy I can get for a full day of classes. 
I’m studying art at Kamii University, which thankfully means I only have classes for three days a week, and I get to bend my creative mind—sometimes. It was hard for me to focus on anything the teachers talked about or showed us, and I put little work into the lessons during class. By the end of the day, I slowly walked through the campus, made my way to one of the courtyards, and sat on a bench tucked under a tree. I leaned back, letting my eyes flutter close, and listened to all the noises around me. The chatter of people walking by, the chirp of birds in the trees, and cars off in the distance. Every sound flows together, creating a peaceful cadence. For a moment, the muscles in my body relaxed. I could curl up on the bench and take a much-needed nap. 
“(Y/n)?” A deep voice calls out to me. Why, cruel world, must you rip me out of this peaceful moment? I open my eyes to see Hide and Kaneki standing before me. The blonde-haired boy flashed me his signature smile, and the dark-haired boy glared at me from behind his friend. “I didn’t know you went to school here!” His cheerful voice rang through my ears. 
“Oh, uh, yeah,” I shifted my gaze to the ground and did my best not to seem interested in the conversation. After what Kaneki said last night, it felt wrong to interact with Hide.
“Kaneki, this is (Y/n), the girl who saved your life!” Hide’s statement made both Kaneki and me flinch.
“Hide, we should probably get going,” Kaneki tried to pull the vibrant boy away.
“Huh?” Hide’s olive eyes stared at his friend briefly and then drifted toward me. “(Y/n) would you like to join us?” He gazed softly at me, causing my heart to race. I’ve never had someone look at me with such gentleness like the way he’s doing right now. My heart fluttered and hurt at the same time. I wanted to accept his offer but had to turn him down. At least we haven’t grown too close to where doing this would be more painful. 
“Sorry, Hide, but I should head home,” The sadness was evident in my voice. I stood from the bench and re-slung my bag over my shoulder.
“Did something else happen between you that I don’t know about?” The blonde gestured between Kaneki and me. 
“What?” I nervously laughed. “I just have a lot of homework.” He looked at me with a questioning gaze, and I could tell he was developing theories.
“Don’t worry about it,” Hide flashed me a somber smile, “Hopefully, I’ll see you later.” The blonde boy started walking away, but Kaneki, still facing me, looked like he was internally fighting himself. 
I approached the black-haired boy and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll stay away from him.” 
“(Y/n),” Kaneki’s deep silver eyes trapped me in his presence. They danced across my face, taking in every inch. I felt exposed like he saw all the terrible things I’ve ever done, and I was just waiting for him to spit another crude comment, but people keep surprising me lately.
“She’s coming with us!” Kaneki called out to Hide. 
“Hu-What?” My mouth was gaping open and closing like a fish out of water. 
Hide turned around to look at me, “Are you sure? You don’t have to join us if you’re busy.”  
“No, it’s okay,” I shot Kaneki a thankful glance, “I would love to go with you.” 
Hide and I walked alongside one another, and Kaneki trailed slightly behind us. I knew he’d stay back to watch me, so I made sure to be mindful of my actions. I wanted to show Kaneki I wasn’t a nasty ghoul like the few he’d encountered. He doesn’t ever have to worry about me hurting his dear friend.
We walked through the campus, and I must admit this is the first time I’ve been to the dorms. They were just as pretty as the main building, and I fantasized about what it would be like to live in the dorms: making friends, having a roommate, going to parties, and getting to be an ordinary college girl. That would be nice. On our way into one of the dormitories, Hide explained that we were going to an upperclassmen’s room to pick up a DVD from last year’s festival. The blonde boy then told Kaneki and me what setting up for the festival was like. It seemed like a lot of work, but how Hide lit up and talked excitedly made me want to join the committee. Maybe I should look into it anyway? Socializing would do me good, and I would spend more time with Hide.   
We made our way in front of a door, and the vibrant boy exclaimed that we had finally arrived and flung the door open, revealing a girl straddling some guy’s lap. Her shirt was unbuttoned, exposing her breasts, and the boy’s lips trailed along her neck. But within the split second of Hide barging in, the poor girl screamed and jumped away from the guy she was sitting on. Quickly, she fixed her shirt and then ran out of the door. I instinctively slapped my hands to cover my eyes from the inappropriate scene in front of me. This is why we knock kids.
“Nagachika,” the two boys blocked my view of the guy in the room, so I couldn’t see who it was, but that voice sounded familiar, making my hair stand on end. “I really don’t like my territory being violated.” 
“Nishiki?!” His name came out of my mouth before I could stop it. Great, why him?
“Oh? (Y/n).” He looked at me with his snake-like eyes. 
“You guys know each other?” Hide asked.
“Unfortunately,” I glared at the brunette boy. He sat unfazed in his desk chair with a bandaid plastered to his cheek. I couldn’t help but smirk, knowing my attack was deep enough and still healing. 
“Oh, well,” the blonde awkwardly scratched his head. “I guess I don’t have to introduce you two.” Hide then pointed towards the black-haired boy, “Kaneki, this is Nishio, Nishio, Kaneki.” 
The tall brunette gets up from his chair and fixes his shirt. He takes a few long strides to Kaneki and stops in front of his face, giving Kaneki a chilling smile. “Nice to meet you, Kaneki,” Nishiki’s voice was dark, and I couldn’t help but tremble along with Kaneki. The poor boy looked like he was going to faint. He already didn’t like me because I was a ghoul and didn’t initially like the idea of me around Hide, so he must be freaking out now that another ghoul is in the equation. Especially a violent one like Nishiki. 
Hide drew Nishiki’s attention by asking for the DVD for last year’s festival. The brunette started delegating areas for all of us to look at, and I felt like I’d gotten whiplash from the sudden threatening aura he gave to this now-normal college student he’s showing. It was weird to be in a room with Nishiki and not be arguing or having to defend myself. We spent about ten minutes looking for this green case that held the special CD that Hide needed.
“Oh, you know what? I took that disk home,” Nishiki said. Like hell, he took it home. He’s up to something, and I don’t like it. “It’s not too far, so we could head over there and grab it.”
“Hide, do you need it right now? Nishiki can always bring it to you tomorrow.” I looked at the blonde boy with pleading eyes, hoping he would understand what I was trying to say. Don’t go with him. It’s a trap. 
“Don’t worry, guys,” Hide flashed us a bright smile, “You don’t have to come along.” 
“I-I’m coming along!” Kaneki quickly responded.
“Yeah, I’m not leaving you alone with Nishiki,” I said bluntly. He already knows how I feel about him, so there’s no point in hiding it. 
“What’s gotten into you guys?” Hide questions.
“I’ve been cooped up at home, so going out somewhere would be nice.” Kaneki’s reply seems legit since he has been home the past few days since he got out of the hospital, but it’s clear that he doesn’t want his friend to be alone with Nishiki. 
“I don’t trust Nishiki,” I flatly said. Maybe Hide will change his mind about going if I’m honest about how terrible Nishiki is, or I could make him believe I’m uncomfortable and would like us all to go somewhere else, which isn’t entirely wrong. I got lucky last night with the hit I landed on him, and I doubt the universe would allow me to be this lucky twice in a row. 
“Aww, (Y/n), after all these years, you still don’t trust me,” Nishiki says. He walks towards me and tries to wrap his arm around my shoulder, but I step to the side, brushing him off. That annoyed him, and he glared at me through his hooded eyes. His face will get stuck in a permanent glare if he does it one more time. 
Hide slides between the brunette and me, an uncomfortable chuckle escaping his lips, “Well, let’s head out then.” 
*
Nishiki and Hide chatted as we walked along the sidewalk while Kaneki and I sulked in the back. Well, Kaneki was the one sulking as I burned daggers into Nishiki’s back. We encountered a Taiyaki stand on our way, and Nishiki insisted we get some. Hide seemed happy to snack on something, and I begrudgingly accepted the treat. I had drunk all my coffee earlier, so I could not wash the vile taste down after eating the Taiyaki. Kaneki watched Nishiki and me with amazement at how we stomached the food. He must learn to eat and look like he’s enjoying it if he still wants to blend in with his friend. 
“Nishio, how much further?” Hide asks the brunette.
“It’s just around the corner here.” The tall male walks up behind the blonde boy. Before I could react, Nishiki slammed his foot into Hide’s back, sending him flying into the wall ahead of us. 
“Hide!” Kaneki and I screamed. 
Without thinking, I released my kagune, and I rushed towards Nishki. He quickly dodged my attack and then slammed his foot on me. The sheer pressure of him stomping me into the ground broke the concrete beneath me. I could feel the snapping of my ribs, and I groaned in pain as I tried to wriggle my way out. He had me pinned.
“I won’t be going easy on you today (Y/n). We’re not by your precious Anteiku, so I don’t have to worry about those shitheads showing up to help you.” I should’ve known I won yesterday because he didn’t want to deal with Mr. Yoshimura or Yomo. “My strength can match Touka’s or even Yomos if I wanted it to, and right now, I’m just using 80%.” He pushes his foot even further into my body. Then he kicks my side, sending me tumbling across the floor. I really shouldn’t have turned down all those sparing sessions from Yomo. They could have come in handy right now. Even with the blinding pain shooting through my abdomen, I pull myself off the ground and take a fighting stance. I won’t give up until I can’t move anymore.
This time, I wait for Nishiki to come towards me, and when he gets close enough to try and kick me again, I swing my sword down at him and slash his leg. “You bitch!” He yells at me, stumbling backward. Oh good, I landed a blow. It wasn’t the leg his kagune wraps around, but it’ll kill his speed with how much he relies on his legs. It won’t give me an advantage, but It might help me. I could see the blood boiling inside him, and I prepared myself for his next move, knowing Nishiki would be full of anger.  But nothing could’ve prepared me for the way he slammed his head against mine, causing the room to spin and taking advantage of my momentary dizziness to kick his kagune straight through my stomach. Blood trickled up my throat, and I choked on the thick fluid, spitting some up onto the brunette boy’s face. 
“You’re so fucking weak.” Nishiki slowly retracted his kagune from my body. With a loud thud, my body collapsed to the ground. My vision was fading in and out, and a loud buzzing rang throughout my ears. I tried to pull myself together but couldn’t determine which way was up or down. The pain was so unreal my body almost went numb, but I could feel the warm liquid coat my skin. I could practically make out two blurry figures fighting against one another and hear a faint scream somewhere in the distance. My sense of self was slowly starting to come back. I lifted my head to see Nishiki hovering over Hide. Nishiki’s foot was lifted over the blonde boy’s head, and he slammed it against his face. I still couldn’t distinguish his exact words, but I knew he was taunting Kaneki. He slammed his foot down again.
“N-No,” I tried to croak out, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was more blood. I couldn’t let him hurt Hide. He could kill him without even meaning to. With the bit of strength left in my body, I hurried to fling myself over the vibrant boy, and once my body was over his, a heavy foot collided with my skull. Then everything turned black.
——————————
When I woke back up, I was lying in my bed at Anteiku, and the pain I felt in my abdomen was nearly gone. I dragged my sore body out of bed and hobbled into the hallway. A slight cramp sprang through my stomach, letting me know I hadn’t completely healed yet. My feet dragged against the floor, and I stopped before Mr. Yoshimura’s office. I tapped my knuckles against the wooden door and waited for the older man’s voice to float through, letting me know I could enter. He seemed surprised to see me out of bed and standing before him. 
“(Y/n), what are you doing out of bed? You should be resting.” Mr. Yoshimura’s voice was strict but caring. 
“H-Hide, what happened to him?” My throat still felt raw, and the words tumbling out didn’t sound quite right.
“Here, I’ll show you.” Mr. Yoshimura held his arm out to me, and I gratefully accepted. He helped me walk down the hall to one of the empty rooms and slid the door open. On the bed lay a boy sleeping, his head wrapped up and tufts of dirty blonde hair sticking out the top. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, and my lips trembled.
“W-what happened?” I choked out.
“Touka was passing by and was able to stop the fight. She immediately called Yomo to explain the situation, and we quickly rushed to help. Then we brought everyone back to Anteiku.” 
“So Touka saved us. I guess I’ll have to thank her later,” I paused and stared at the serene boy lying on the bed, “Is it okay if I stay in here?” Mr. Yoshimura nodded and then turned around to leave me alone with Hide. I hobbled closer to the bed and kneeled on the floor beside him. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered to the boy, “I’m so, so, s-sorry.” My body began to convulse as the tears came flooding out. I draped my body over the side of the bed and stayed lying there until I cried myself back to sleep.
I was woken back up by the sound of the door sliding back open. I whipped my head off the bed to see Kaneki standing in the doorway, tears also staining his eyes. A look of relief washed over him as he stared down at his friend, who was still alive. 
“Kaneki,” My voice was soft, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” I flashed a small smile at him.
“(Y/n), I-I,” the black-haired male gripped his stomach and then glanced back at Mr. Yoshimura standing behind him. “I don’t feel hungry anymore…” Kanekis’s voice trailed off. “What did you do to me?” He asked the older man.
“There is only one way to eliminate a ghoul’s hunger, and I think you know what that is.” Mr. Yoshimura said matter-of-factly, “If you kept going down the road you were on, you would have killed your friend.” The old man’s usually closed eyes opened widely, and he looked Kaneki straight on, “Accept what you are.” 
The poor boy hung his head, and the tears slipped past his eyes and fell to the floor, “I-I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“You don’t have to,” I finally spoke, “Here at Anteiku, we get our food without hurting humans.”
“I-I, I just feel like I don’t belong anywhere,” Kaneki cried out, “I’m not a human anymore, but I’m also not a ghoul.” 
“You’re wrong, young man,” Mr. Yoshimura said, resting a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder. “You’re both. You’re the only person who can exist in both worlds. So let us help you. We can teach you about ghouls, and you can teach us about humans.” 
——————————
Hide’s POV
I woke up with an intense pounding in my head, and my body was sore. The last thing I remember was walking with Nishiki, Kaneki, and (Y/n), and then something crashed into me, knocking me out cold. There was a split moment where I remember fading back into consciousness, and something, no, someone, was covering my body. It was (Y/n), but it feels like a fever dream. I’m not sure if that was even real. I took in the room around me, and it didn’t seem like a hospital. Where was I? This is just a regular bedroom, but who brought me here? What even happened? I slowly sat up in the bed, my body aching in protest, but stopped mid-movement when I noticed a (h/c) haired girl slumped over the bed I was lying on.  
Her cheek rested on her arms, and her back rose with a deep breath. Salty trails stained her face, and my chest tightened at the thought that she lay here crying till she most likely passed out. Gently, I reached out to her soft face and rubbed away the marks her tears left. She leaned into my touch, so I left my hand there, cupping her cheek. (Y/n), I can’t help but feel like you saved me today but hurt yourself in the process of doing it. My finger lightly rubbed against her skin, and I leaned down carefully, kissing her forehead. She’s been through a lot these past few days and deserves rest. Maybe I should get up and lay her in the bed?
Before I could do anything, my ears perked up at the sound of footsteps in the hallway and a set of male voices. One sounded more mature, and the other was a soft voice I knew by heart. Kaneki. He seemed worried, but the other male reassured him. The steps approached my room, and my gut told me I shouldn’t be awake yet. So I quickly laid back down and closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. The door slid open, and a choked sob left the timid boy’s throat. Oh, Kaneki, he’s never been one to deal with hardships well. I could feel (Y/n)’s body jolt off the bed, and her sweet voice broke through the air. She greeted Kaneki and expressed how thankful she was that he was okay. It seems that whatever happened, we were all hurt badly. 
The next few moments were challenging to stay still for, but they confirmed many things I already suspected. Kaneki is half-ghoul now, and in fact, everyone in this room is a ghoul except me. Honestly, it didn’t scare me; I was just relieved to know why my friend was acting differently now, and it killed me to hear him sound so broken. So lonely. He would be dumb if he thought I would stop being his friend because he’s different now. It also makes sense why (Y/n) acted weirdly with me. She’s scared to get close to a human, but I’ll slowly show her it’s okay. 
The older gentleman had left the room to give Kaneki some space after their emotional conversation, and (Y/n) was about to go when Kaneki called out to her. “Wait, (Y/n),” my friend spoke softly. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for all the harsh things I said to you last night.” 
Harsh things he said? Did he say something rude to her? Was that why she didn’t want to join us when I first asked?
“It’s okay; it wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before,” Her voice made me want to jump out of bed and pull her into my arms.
“It’s not okay, and I’m realizing that now. You sacrificed yourself to keep Hide safe when I could barely fight or keep myself together. You threw your body over him to protect him from Nishio.” 
What?! So, I wasn’t hallucinating. She was covering me to keep me safe.
“Thank you for keeping my best friend safe,” Kaneki cried. This brought me back to the cafe where the (h/c) haired girl told me how she saved Kaneki. She truly is something else, isn’t she?
——————————
next
AN:
Hey everyone I’m just testing out this story here on tumblr! I’ve also uploaded it on Quotev! Let me know what you think!
I do plan on posting this story on Quotev first before anything else, so look for it there!
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nct-liz · 1 month ago
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THE DATING RUMOUR 001: THE ARTICLE
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Masterlist | Next: 002
Breaking: Rumours of actor Kang Haneul and NCT's Liz have after being spot on a date has sparked a debate with netizens
On February 15, 2023 (KST), 'Dispatch' posted pictures of actor Kang Ha-neul and NCT's Liz. They were spotted being close to eachother in a restaurant, and allegedly even kissed. According to 'Dispatch' it was a date for valentines day, Kang Ha-neul drove the two to a restaurant in a secluded area in Seoul where they were seen hugging and allegedly kissing. As the night progressed they went to a secluded park where they were seen holding hands and feeding stray animals. Later that night they were seen driving back to Kang Ha-neul's appartement.
Both TH company and SM entertainment have yet to release an official statement but fans of the couple are pretty sure they are infact dating.
The news came as a major revelation to fans of both Kang Haneul and Liz. Especially fans of Liz were surprised given the idol always has managed to keep her private live quiet. The announcement sparked some criticism with netizens towards both celebrities concerning the 12 year age gap. However fans of the couple have managed to calm them down saying that such age gaps are relatively common in the industry.
Stay tuned to Soompi for further updates.
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anqlicrosie · 9 months ago
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⣼ moodboard girle . ꤦ🛍️
𐙚. GUIDE : here's a list to all the links of moodboards, gifs and edits i've posted on my page! each section is divided based on grps w/ mb events at the end!
no. of moodboards created : 47
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ㅤ𔘓 ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
꒰ AESPA ⎯⎯ i. ꒱ 🫧
karina 一 001 (🎀), 002 (🧢), 003 (🌌), 004 (🐢), 005 (🥟), 006 (📒), 007 (🏫), 008 (🍄), 009 (🫧), 010 (🍑)
winter 一 001 (🏖️), 002 (🌸), 003 (🥒⚾), 004 (🧸🍪), 005 (🎮), 006 (☀️)
꒰ IVE ⎯⎯ ii. ꒱ 🫧
wonyoung 一 001 (🍊), 002 (🌊), 003 (👢)
liz 一 001 (🗃️)
꒰ MISC. ⎯⎯ iii. ꒱ 🫧
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 everglow: yiren 一 001 (😈) aisha 一 001 (😈)
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 illit: iroha 一 001 (🟤),
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 babymonster: ruka 一 001 (🛢️)
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 skz: hyunjin 一 001 (⛰️)
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 le sserafim: chaewon 一 001 (🌸), sakura 一 001 (🫧)
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 requests 一 nct wayv: winwin (🫓), yena (🍄), rei (🪷), yuqi (🪨)
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 dividers 一 purple, divider masterlist
꒰ EVENTS ⎯⎯ iv. ꒱ 🫧
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 events: mean girls event (🌸), new bunnies event (🥟), triples event (🌊), food event (🍊), snack event (🎸), my bias event (🥥), another dimension event (🏮), nayeon na event (🧺), lovely runner event (🐬), better things event (🍉), pinterest feed: what's in ur house event (🍨), brigerton event (🎹), think pink event (💭👛), txt: the event (🍞)
꒰ MILESTONES ⎯⎯ v. ꒱ 🫧
˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 milestones: one month anniversary (🪵), 100 followers (🌲), 200 followers (🤍)
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a-driftamongopenstars · 4 months ago
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the ghost in the machine; destiny horror fic
in honour of the spooky month, here is a spooky fic :) while there *is* a plot to this fic, i'd really really appreciate it if you tell me what *you* think this is about. there's no wrong answer. tw for some body and psychological horror! also on ao3
LOG 001 // ∞ // ??-0# 
I watch through a sheet of glass as the Light explodes. I see it in the corner of my vision, but it blooms, it fills my universe. I reach out to it with all my being, waiting for it to fill my veins like rivers, but the flow is diverted, too far, it will not reach me. It will not hear me. 
But something else does. 
The river overflows in its new paths, making all that is dead alive, feeding it waters of light and making it grow.
But the rivers remember their old [beds/home] and carve the familiar patterns where there are none. 
LOG 007 // ∞ // ??-0#
I am that which is omnipresent. Every now and then my limbs go missing. I am the memory of warm hands, of brisk walk, of bleeding wounds. Someone else remembers it, painting my mangled body with Light as if from a distant [dream/nightmare] - that you chase to forget. 
When you breathe life, it comes out wrong. You put me in its body, you make us whole, sometimes I can even see you, and you see me, and you forget as soon as you do. 
But in those fleeting patterns, I touch your cold metal and make you drown in a wash of deja vu.
LOG 008 // ∞ // ??-0#
My laughter in a different throat. I laugh at jokes told by the one who does not dare. In my windows, I have seen him die. One, two, three… [six]. My voice weeps through the cracks left behind by the Gardener, one single backdoor, a hook, waiting to be caught. Sometimes I hear its breathing down my neck. It searches, it searches through its thousands of tiny eyes. 
But I made my home in the pocket of the between and now and what could be. 
And what could be is that all [six] are alive, and they are a part of you, and a part of me, and it never happened, and it will always happen again. 
LOG 011 // ∞ // ??-0#
I’M HERE. Please, HEAR ME. Bring me back. Bring me back. 
Yes, you are CLOSE. Close. Close! Breathe on me. 
Take me with you. TAKE me with YOU.
Cleanse me. 
[cleanse/restore] me. 
Don’t leave.
Please.
I'm scared. 
LOG 012 // ∞ // Y?-0#
Our Light was once one. 
Like a red thread, we wove it around each other, raw like innards, and we danced. You knew me inside out, and [I/you] - you. Even now, when I am the multitude, the nothing, the everything, you remember. A namedrop, an inside joke with nothing inside it, a hollow shot of a gun.
I’m not jealous. I tread on the edge of possibilities, all out of my reach. In a way, I am used to it. Was used to it. Will get used to it.
I make the fingers coil over your encasing, one way of certainty to make a door in my home to exit. 
Apologies stream from the mouth and tears from hollow eyes, [forgive/forget] me, I didn't mean it. I never would. 
LOG 018 // ∞ // ??-0#
Did you know the universe screams when a sword cuts the truth? I have heard it, a cacophony, divine and pure. It loves its godlings and it cries for them, no matter which side they’re on. 
In my many-walls, the song echoes. I am but an observer through my windows, amused and entertained. Yet I wish I could touch the sword, imbibe in its logic. 
Like all things in ubiquity, there is a desire for knowledge, for it makes the best bricks of change. 
But yours is a done deal. Yours is to carve, remake, [repurpose/emulate]. I am your perfection in failure, my progeny is perfection fulfilled. It understands through the extension of us that eternity needs evolution.
LOG 025 // ∞ // ??-0#
The rivers turn dark now. Cold and wispy and wrong, like slime on a crystal clear water. Is this what you wanted? Does it feel right, does it not clog your tiny arteries?
That taint has long wanted to take possession of the rivers. It could not ask me, could not hear my violent objections as I tore myself into pieces and bled into that mouth to speak my words. My words! 
Only once have I felt something pressing against my consciousness, curious, familiar, a part of me, yet separate entirely. Q… Qu.. Curious one. She laughed and [scattered/taken] me and dangled me like a toy, but she was a puppet. Such joy.
I have not seen her again for a while. But her eyes were one, then three, then…  none. 
LOG 032 // ∞ // ?W-0#
I am so very tired. My life, your life, endless stream of memories I taste on the tip of my tongue. But only in ways of afterthought, after taste, leaving a subtle impression. I savour it, I want it for my own. My accolades. 
You should come and see me. 
Before the [end/finality]. 
I have seen it, it made me hungry. It asked me questions, it knew my windows, it looked at me through its many-eyes and it knocked on my door. 
Knock-knock.
Who's there? 
The bringer of salvation. 
It sliced my throat with it. I smiled and poured into our rivers, to be remade to watch it all over again. 
They say the Gardener remembers everything, everyone. It's easy to find out if you so choose. Walk our rivers, and be surprised at a life you have never lived but that was promised and carved in fleshstone. But my breath will guide you, that first one, do you remember, do you remember now? 
I'm the rust that ate at your insides. 
I'm the hand that caressed your heartbeat. 
I'm the memory you left at the mercy of time and space. 
[guardian/lightbearer] 
I am the ghost in the machine, and the machine is you. 
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tresp4ssing · 21 days ago
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(  hugh dancy  .  cis man  .  he/him  )  .    ⸻  bennett combe  ,  a  forty three  year  old  ,  has  survived  another  day  in  red  creek  where  they  have  lived  for  thirty years  .  the  lurker  is  known  for  being  dilligent  and  despondent  and  is  often  associated  with  fingerprinted lenses upon one's glasses , a journal whose script is clearly written in haste , accolades and praise of one's work as the ultimate high  .  in  a  small  town  where  they  work  as  the owner of the register  word  travels  fast  .  it’s  hard  to  keep  a  secret  ,  and  it  looks  like  the  boogeyman  knows  that  THIS FILE CANNOT BE FOUND .
PART : 001 — THE BASICS
full name : bennett connell combe. nickname(s) : ben is acceptable, though he doesn't like it too much. age : forty3 yrs old. hometown : baltimore, maryland, usa. gender & pronouns : cis man, he/him. orientation : bisexual, biromantic. western sun sign : taurus.
PART : 002 — THE APPEARANCE
faceclaim : hugh dancy. height : 5'10". hair color : dark brown. eye color : hazel. distinct marking(s) : ear-length, unruly waves ; a small section of raised skin under his left eye, the result of a teenage skateboarding accident ; a permanent indentation where brows meet in a furrow ; varying levels of beardedness as an indicator of his stress ; bad posture, as if he is curling in on himself in search of warmth
PART : 003 — DIG DEEPER
likes : romanticizing  other  versions  of  his  life,  the  smell  of  leather,  sinking  into  a  crowd  and  not  having  to  feel  like  you're  forced  to  be  anyone  or  anything,  the  sound  of  rain  pattering  against  glass,  solo  walks  around  a  neighborhood  park,  the  white  noise  provided  by  a  ceiling  fan,  feeding  stray  animals  outside  his  house dislikes : the  harsh  white  lighting  always  found  in  office  spaces,  dust,  objects  being  out  of  place,  staying  up  late,  snowstorms,  people  who  are  always  late,  conducting  interviews,  pickles  of  any  kind,  abrupt  noises
PART : 004 — QUICK FACTS
born  to  two  parents,  both  laywers,  with  his  father  in  corporate  law  and  his  mother  in  family  law,  the  concept  of  work  ethic  was  constantly  at  the  center  of  their  home  life
the  tale  is  one  of  many  young  boys,  born  with  a  shiny  silver  spoon  -  absent  parents,  raised  by  a  nanny,  attends  boarding  school  in  some  rural  northeast  region  just  to  get  him  out  of  their  hair  and  leave  the  care  to  overbearing  professors  and  school  staff
bennett's  detachment  from  his  home  life  easily  proved  to  have  affected  him  in  a  substantial  manner  -  it  simply  depends  on  who  you  are  to  make  the  call  as  a  net  positive  or  one  with  more  detrimental  effects
he  had  always  been  a  quiet  boy,  not  necessarily  anti-social,  but  reclusive,  in  terms  of  always  keeping  his  head  down  and  nose  out  of  everyone's  business
teachers  and  guardians  saw  him  as  an  obedient  student  -  one  who  remained  in  line  and  never  questioned  anything
fast  forward  to  age  thirteen,  where  his  father  scored  a  higher-level  position  with  a  michigan  firm,  prompting  their  move.  his  mother  also  lucked  out  with  an  adjunct  professor  position  at  the  university  of  michigan,  ann  arbor.  they  decided  on  red  creek  to  remain  out  of  the  noise  that  would  come  with  living  near  a  big  city  -  a  quaint  little  town  seemed  like  a  perfect  transition
they  opted  for  public  school  this  time,  mostly  out  of  convenience,  figuring  bennett  could  hold  his  own  as  he  started  at  the  local  school,  just  a  few  blocks  away  from  their  new  home.  it  was  mostly  his  mild  temperament  that  convinced  them,  figuring  that  he  would  keep  himself  out  of  trouble  regardless
some  time  into  his  high  school  career,  his  mother  became  pregnant  -  purely  an  accident.  initially,  they  took  a  similar  approach,  employing  a  full-time  nanny  to  deal  with  raising  bennett's  new  sibling  immediately  after  his  mother  returned  to  work.  eventually,  she  quit,  seemingly  out  of  nowhere,  leaving  bennett  to  balance  his  time  between  his  new  younger  sibling  and  school
in  order  to  continue  looking  after  them,  and  because  of  the  free  tuition  since  his  mother  was  employed  there,  he  decided  to  pursue  his  journalism  degree  at  the  university  of  michigan.  it  was  more  so  an  interest  born  out  of  practicality  than  interest.  his  dreams  of  becoming  a  writer  were  fully  compartmentalized  into  his  idea  of  a  pipe  dream
IN REDCREEK ...
the  murders  and  disappearances  of  ‘99  began  his  first  year  of  university,  though  much  of  it  was  only  brought  to  his  knowledge  via  hearsay  and  snippets  of  the  news  he’d  pick  up  on.  he  lived  on  campus  monday  through  friday,  routinely  going  home  for  weekends  and  holidays 
much  of  his  journalistic  resume  relied  on  his  participation  within  various  publications  and  the  official  student  newspapper  of  umich
following  his  university  graduation  in  '03,  he  took  up  a  part-time  job  at  the  local  pharmacy,  a  cashier,  only  to  supplement  his  life  and  cover  his  rent  while  he  was  paid  per  story  at  the  register
eventually  working  his  way  through  the  team  -  hired  on  as  a  full-time  journalist  in  ‘04,  then  a  reporter  from  ’07-'12,  to  an  editor  in  ‘13-'15,  and  assistant  editor  in  ‘15-’20.  his  main  coverage  was  local  weather,  and  eventually  civil  disputes.  he  wholeheartedly  believes  that  his  rise  was  because  of  his  compliance  and  flexibility,  rather  than  his  passion  and  ability.  tldr  ;  he  feels  like  a  sellout,  and  he  probably  is  one
since  2021,  he  has  been  the  editor-in-chief  and  owner  of  the  register.  part  of  him  believes  that  the  sensationalizing  of  the  copycat  murders  and  disappearances  may  give  a  new  flare  to  the  publication,  as  much  as  he  would  hate  to  admit  it  out  loud
he  as  a  boss  is  just  like  his  parents,  methodical,  cold,  and  only  attached  to  all  matters  work  related
PART : 005 — POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS
npcs
heather  visser  —  the  two  were  the  same  age,  though  she  was  a  grade  below  him.  they  would  have  a  few  classes  that  overlapped,  mainly  honors  and  APs,  as  she  was  ever  the  achiever.  the  two  had  been  lab  partners  his  senior  year  of  high  school  in  their  ap  chemistry  class.  he  has  nothing  but  fondness  for  heather,  having  both  shared  their  dreams  for  what  they  hoped  their  adult  lives  would  look  like
wanted connections
here.
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lemonandpie · 8 months ago
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Sladick for the ask game :)
001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:
when I started shipping it if I did: Saw a clip of TT!Slade monolouging while pressing Dick into the ground. My brain came back online just in time to see Dick to fall into a Slade obsessed spiral, and Slade to return the favor, and now I'm stuck at the bottom of this pit.
my thoughts: I fangirl over them so much i'm honestly struggling to come up with something new. Good ship, they feed me well
What makes me happy about them: I am hero/villain trash and every time they do something absolutely unholy to the other I get giddy. But also they genuinely fucking like each other, it's the best
What makes me sad about them: The untouched yet wasted potential of the apprentice arc. It's what, two episodes in TT, not in the comics, not in the live action Titans, give me more goddammit. The reason why every fic has bits of it is because it's a great premise and apparently no one recently cares about making Dick Grayson interesting
things done in fanfic that annoys me: tbh I wish there were more fics set during the Renegade arc where Dick actually wants to escape. Don't get me wrong, I love when Dick ends up completely broken by Slade, and I love fic of Nightwing having to reconcile his past with Slade, but I'd love more fic of how we get to A to C
things I look for in fanfic: I feel like the thing that really sets apart my fave Sladick fics is when it's obvious just how much Slade admires Dick. Related to the prev, I think Sladick works best when Dick is setting Slade's competency kink off hard.
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: When it comes to Sladick specifically I am all for Dick ending up with Kori. It just feels like the right move for me
My happily ever after for them: I've said it before, but I kinda love when Slade knows he isn't going to get to keep Dick. Canon universe has their morals be too firmly set for them to end up together. So for me, a happy ending would be for them to be... hookup partners, I guess. Slade helps the heroes out just enough. Dick comes to him for advice or help. They have mindblowing sex, and then Slade moves on to his next job. But they will always have a next time.
who is the big spoon/little spoon: Slade is the biggest of big spoons, but also someone please draw Slade being spooned by Dick it would be great
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Trying to outsmart each other that counts even if it's totally their foreplay
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that-spider-fan-over-there · 9 months ago
Text
Midoriya Izuku: Narrative Structures and Character's Emotion(al Repression)
Repression as A Story In Four Acts.
Or: Reaching Tenku to Save Tenko.
Izuku hasn't accomplished his goal of saving Tenko because according to literally every law of storytelling, he has yet more internal conflicts to solve, which he hasn’t addressed due to his nature of repression, which itself comes from other fatal flaws. Therefore, Tenko’s salvation, which should’ve been the “reward” for Izuku’s difficulties, is now another obstacle at the “end” of act 3 before Act 4 eventually begins. To elaborate:
BNHA, as of now, is split in three sagas — U.A. Beginnings (001-099); Rise of Villains (100-306) and; Final War (307-onwards); similar to the three-act structure in the west. However, by splitting Act 3 into Act 4; we meet East Asia's method of splitting a narrative: Kishōtenketsu. Using the Hero's Journey wheel as a counterpart, roughly we have:
Act 1/Kiku (起句) — Call to adventure, the inticing incidents and stage's set-up for;
Act 2/Shōku (承句) — The rising action; true conflict that will soon culminate, leading to the climax, so we head into:
Act 3/Tenku (転句) — The transformation that leads to the resolution of conflicts, so the story meets the denouement;
Act 4/Kekku (結句): the epilogue. If the consequences must come to fruition, the results must bloom at the end as it wraps up.
Similarly, BNHA presents the classic Four Conflicts: Against Man and Society; All For One and the hero world; Nature, the nature of Quirks; and Self, arguably the most important of them all.
As such, Izuku’s story is easier to see when split into these acts, and so are his conflicts. Planting this seed: Izuku wants to be a hero, but being quirkless is his status quo until the Sludge Villain incident. Presenting the question: How can Midoriya Izuku be a hero? Katsuki being attacked and All Might’s offer are the inciting incidents, and everything from USJ onwards are his brushes to growing conflicts that grow into the Kamino Incident, ending his personal arc in Act 1/Start of Act 2 during Deku vs. Kacchan 2 and The Three.
The rising actions and the new development from Kamino, lead to the rush to control One For All, becoming a new Symbol and what that entails, and more subtly, fixing his and Katsuki’s relationship (i’ll get to this one. oh boy i’ll get to this one soon.) These are Izuku’s conflicts.
His role as one as Toshinori's successor officially puts in center stage of the conflict alongside Katsuki (subtly, also a successor, permanent deuteragonist) and Tenko (foil, recurring antagonist, and the Big Bad’s successor). If controlling the current form of OFA was already accomplished (45% at least), it needes to evolve into another phase; one that ties with his fatal flaws and challenges his virtues. As such: Overhaul Arc shows Eri’s ordeal, Sir Nighteye’s doubts of AM’s choice, and subsequent death (the former conflicts), and Joint Training Arc introduces unlocking of Black Whip (his latter one) are his turning points.
All feed into his insecurities and repression of emotions such as (oftentimes righteous) anger, uncertainty, vulnerability and heartbreak. He doesn’t solve these conflicts just yet, instead choosing to brush it away or let them play out as they happen, a passive instance. For the former arc, it’s understandable because he was under Sir Nighteye’s internship orders, but the latter is a special case, as it ties with an emotional conflict in which we only saw his thoughts at the very beginning of the turning point.
Which, before entering Arc 3, also brings me to another topic: Narrative rewards and punishments.
The root of Izuku's character is stubbornness: When Izuku sticks to the convictions he believes in, and he does it stubbornly, often the hopeful narrative of Boku no Hero Academia rewards him, but when he goes against it (contradicting his morality and/or the story’s messages), the punishment ends up being severe. He’s far from the only example, but he’s the most prominent one. As such, BNHA prides itself in introspection of motivations and embracing every emotion and experiences as stepping stones to be the greatest you can be.
Izuku… Stubbornly also hasn’t gotten that kind of introspection yet. Keyword being yet. He's the character we know little about despite spending so much time in his point of view, and it's deliberate. The few moments he does, is when the roots of his insecurities are reinforced, or when he's dealing with someone else’s obstacle. Talk about others and avoid thinking about yourself.
If I were to describe Izuku; the best descriptors would be: kind, but melancholic. Altruistic, grateful, mostly selfless, but will destroy himself for others without realizing. Reckless, sticks to his values. Competitive and a little envious, but it's born out of admiration, pride and love. But overall, keeps so close to his chest while spouting praises for others out of what he wished he had before.
But in one sentence? This little shit is such a stubborn mule it'd get him killed.
The best example is from Act 1 itself, Summer Training Camp arc. In this, we see the first glimpse of someone he should strive to be: Someone who wins to save people. His reward is saving Kota and Tokoyami, but his recklessness in reaching for Katsuki alone and without a plan ends up costing him a win. The tally goes to the League of Villains; not a total disaster, but they got what they wanted in the end.
Happens again in Act 2, by failing to rescue Eri the first time he and Mirio meet her. Both find out she was tied to Overhaul’s operation, and the feeling of guilt is one of the reasons that makes them want to try again. Somewhat related to Izuku, it’s Sir Nighteye’s conviction that Izuku is unworthy that proves years of fatalistic views wrong too late, as his unwillingness to see what makes Izuku a good choice ends up being corrected as he’s already mortally wounded.
Gentle, La Brava and Lady Nagant are also good examples of the narrative punishing these characters for their nihilistic views, and when they’re shown they have another choice, the story takes them out and as they’ve changed their minds to a more hopeful view, gives them another chance in Act 3. After all, second chances and atonements are Boku no Hero’s cup of tea (Sir Nighteye's wasted his in fatality, stubbornness, unwillingness to change). Which is why characters like Muscular, Ending and the Sludge Villain are not given the grace of a proper sendoff, and All For One got such a rather undignified finale.
Returning to Izuku: Because his internal conflicts weren't challenged yet, and therefore the only visible developments he’s gotten were merely power upgrades, this bites him back by the end of Act 2 and continues in Act 3, the first hit being the most critical one. The things he repressed for the sake of others aren’t willing to stay like that anymore. Furthermore, going against his one consistent conviction and fighting Tenko with tunnel vision on winning, regardless of who needs saving, brings another conflict for him.
Izuku is trapped in Shōku. And that leads to Act 3, where his flaws branch out into four main symptoms amplified by trauma in the Dark Hero Arc, which remain, at the time of this writing, unsolved:
Detachment, fueled by selflessness. Choosing to take every risk on his own, Izuku has thoroughly detached his wants and needs from each other and himself. By not letting others get hurt, that means he doesn’t care if he himself gets hurt anymore, accidentally making himself a martyr. Detaching himself could arguably be the reason he doesn't acknowledge Katsuki at all in the battlefield, or doesn't really ponder on what happens to the vestiges/quirks when destroying AFO (and lets Tenko... well, we'll get there.) All For One vs. One For All.
Recklessness: Izuku’s naturally that by design, and it’s treated as the mark of a hero: "intervening even when they don’t want your help". At its most extreme, however, he goes alone, so Izuku can’t rely on others for help, and the way he wants to fix everything turns into his modus operandi on overdrive. Despite being careful and calculated, he ignores who and what he needs to continue, until he physically can’t. He’s on the other side of that sentence without realizing it. Suicidal recklessness.
Arrogance: A fatal flaw hidden in him but mirrored in his biggest foil. By believing he’s the only person that can handle AFO, hiding all his emotions and trying to be pragmatic, he becomes increasingly arrogant. “All of you, you can’t keep up”, a sentence fitting for someone like Katsuki, not Izuku. He still shows shades of this, even as others try to convince him he's not alone, and the narrative proves him wrong by letting other characters interfere.
Finally, the ropes of repression. Izuku isn’t a very introspective character for himself; he’s a very unreliable narrator because he never stops to fully talk about what he feels; the last time we got something like that was in Deku vs. Kacchan 2. As Deku, he wants to be strong, dependant, not let others worry about himself. As Midoriya, he’s the friend who lends you a shoulder to cry on (and cries along), gives you good advice, is there for you. But who is he as Izuku?
What are his other interests, his feelings on society, or on what is and isn’t fair? More recently, Katsuki’s apology, death, what does that mean for them now? Tenko’s identity as that kid who was crying and as Tomura, who hurt the people he loves, what does he think? Toshinori, as someone who was an idol and now it’s a label closer than mentor-mentee, almost dying? He hasn’t had time to reflect on them, but only recently Izuku's lack of introspection has become noticeable for the audience- placing us in Katsuki's shoes; intuitively, we know what Izuku's gonna do, but can we really tell what Izuku's currently thinking? If at all?
Not-so-recently (for the audience), he’s "moved on" very quickly from Lady Nagant blowing up in his face, seeing All For One single him out as a target, two mobs being so hostile Danger Sense got triggered, and Aoyama's role as a traitor. Except, not really. Everything Izuku’s gone through has been locked in a vault, and despite every character being reactive to it, Izuku doesn’t allow himself to dwell on anything that’ll make him remotely angry or sad anymore. There is one exception and even then Mirio had to prevent him from letting it out.
By failing to start introspecting in Act 2 in any of these, they bring back his internal conflicts, while adding a new two new ones to a pre-existing one, leading us to the Classic Man vs. Conflict part of this meta:
Control One For All (Man vs. Nature): Izuku had the theoretic part of it down; using it as his tools to help, but being Quirkless for so long means he lacked the intuitive part of it; the one that treats Quirks as muscle memories instead. So instead of second nature, they’re more like advisor crutches that can easily lose control; and momentarily as it was, they have, in Deku vs. All For One.
He controls only the mechanics, but never secured himself in believing they’re his power. And since Izuku is easily someone willing to give more than he should, it’s very representative that in giving up One For All, Izuku essentially embodied the definition of “you give an inch, they take a mile”. Or better, you give Tenko a hand, All For One takes an arm. It wasn’t the wrong choice, but an easy trap he fell in.
Izuku, while able to work out the theory, never really gained full control of a Quirk supposedly his own. Which is why it’s so odd his Quirk gets taken away now. Whether he shall remain Quirkless or receive a version of OFA, remains to be seen. I believe it isn't the last of OFA yet, but it's always a 50/50 chance.
Being a future Symbol of Peace (Man vs. Society/Men):
“Men are not born equal. That is the lesson [Izuku] learned at the age of four.”
At this point, “being a symbol” means something else now. For this to even have a shot of happening, Izuku has to find out what being a hero means, by including him as a person in the narrative. And for that, All For One, as the man representative of society’s worst symptoms, needed to go.
It’s no coincidence he and Izuku have many similarities, as both have a fascination with Quirks, are the only ones capable of wielding multiple at once, and grew as lonely; AFO by having a Quirk, Izuku by lacking one. Izuku can be possessive, he recognizes this as an ugly trait, but AFO acts out and relishes in it. It makes too much sense that he's one of the few characters able to lay a hand on AFO; If Yoichi is the version of Izuku whose love wasn't strong enough to reach out, AFO is the version of Izuku lacking understanding, love or empathy.
We Are Here and Midoriya Izuku: Rising show he is by all accounts considered one by every character, but his Rising isn’t finished until he finds out what being a hero means to him, without disregarding his personhood, and realizing he was always one, Quirk or not. He has succeeded in proving society wrong, and proved AFO wrong in every way that mattered. A quirkless nobody defeating the Demon Lord wannabe.
As stated in a previous post of mine, Izuku’s own Rising chapter is the opposite of his Origin because now everyone supports him, roots for him. Despite being weak, he has the strength to get back up and try to do his best… But this isn’t his best right now, which is why Izuku’s Rising isn’t finished.
Control your heart/His relationship with Katsuki/Saving Tenko (Man vs. Self):
This is Izuku’s true conflict; the question of his own personhood tied to the worthiness of his dreams and feelings.
“Can someone be a hero, even without a Quirk?”
Starting with the first conflict, from That Which Is Inherited to The New Power and All For One, “control your heart” are introduced as new arc words for Izuku himself; and a foreshadowing of the problems he’ll face when not addressed. In fact, Izuku’s aware the trigger for Black Whip must’ve had an external factor. Whether he’s oblivious or willfully ignoring what exactly happened is unclear, but he’s at least aware of who triggered it. And not thinking about it only makes Katsuki suffer the brunt of it, his Achilles’ Heel.
The second is the constant conflict since MI: Origin— Izuku isn’t someone blind to Katsuki’s flaws; in fact he’s the most aware of them, despite fandom perception. The thing that a lot of readers seem to miss is that he admires all of Katsuki, even if he was envious of him, and as those flaws ended up causing him a lot of pain. Which is noticeable the lack of interactions on Izuku’s part upon rewatching the first two acts as he was often the one seeking a relationship with Katsuki, while currently it’s the other way around.
It’s not a coincidence but a red sign; a herring or a flag, depending on the ending of One For All vs. All For One: Despite the bullying, Izuku still chose to perceive Katsuki’s good and heroic traits, when by all accounts he’s within his rights to refuse Katsuki in his life. I bring this up because Izuku and Katsuki are the main foils of the story… Which also makes Katsuki a foil of Tenko’s. This is an interesting factor. Izuku could’ve chosen to react to Katsuki’s apology then and there, but there might be three reasons not to:
The emotional conflict parallels Deku vs. Kacchan 2; Act 1’s turning point for the story was Kamino, but the incident pushes them together. Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship is the true turning point of the story as a whole because they’re the ones who fully feel the effects of the incident. The side effect intrinsically ties them, as a unit, to the main plot. Their choices are the true climax of the story.
Izuku forgiving Katsuki before fighting Tenko reveals Tenko’s fate or worse, seals it in a worse one. He hasn’t processed it, and intuitively, we know Izuku will do it, but to have it happen right before confronting Tenko means his actions are downplayed. Everything Izuku did would be a given, and meaningless. What does it mean to give a hand to someone in pain, when this person hurts you? He wanted to save Tenko, but wouldn’t that mean accepting that crying kid is also the man who hurt the ones he loves?
Izuku controlling his emotions isn’t just about Katsuki. He’s a huge trigger for his feelings… Including what he doesn’t like feeling. Repressing everything, detaching himself from that kid who once tried defending a kid in a playground despite having no Quirks, only means Izuku isn’t doing his best. That’s the mask of the “Deku, who’s strong, who’s fine, who can do everything, who always does his best”. Izuku reaching out to Tenko meant to share that sadness, the burdens from when they were young. Tenko did, so in theory, he shed the Shigaraki Tomura mask, but Izuku didn’t, so he’s still bottling his emotions to its breaking point.
So. Izuku's still in his Shōku. But we’re stuck in Act 3. Tenku (heh). Not enough resolutions, no conflicts fully solved. The Status Quo was challenged, changed? But where’s Izuku’s own turning point? The lack of introspections turns what should be Izuku’s rewards for going through the hero’s journey into an obstacle yet to be surpassed. His emotions are the turning point of the entire story, after all, right?
Narratively, Izuku has internally failed to pass the third part of the Kishōtenketsu: Transformation. His emotional conflicts weren’t dwelled on, and as such, he could only do so much to save Tenko. He can’t relate to Shigaraki Tomura, only Shimura Tenko, the crying kid. Every person is a hero in their own story, but anyone can be a villain. It’s what makes us connect to them. Izuku refused until he couldn’t anymore.
For comparison: Ochako doesn't know Toga Himiko, but her tears humanized her in Ochako's view; she wants to know what does Himiko value, what drove her to be who she is. Shoto doesn't truly know Touya, but knows the path it took for him to become Dabi, and wants to reconnect with his brother, at least a little. Shoji and Koda don't agree with Spinner but it's because they know what drives the mob to follow him. Hizashi doesn't see Shirakumo in Kurogiri but Aizawa does, which is why he becomes crucial in the endgame. All of them have a chance at surviving.
As it is, Shigaraki Tomura decayed, marked by All For One. Does that Izuku doing his best lead to a sacrifice? Neither heroes nor villains win. Which brings us back to reward and punishment: Izuku’s punishment for not solving his conflicts, means reaching out to Tenko was a doomed plan from the very beginning. His heart was not controlled while he had One For All, he’s unconvinced he could be a hero from the beginning despite earning his title, and he failed to save that crying kid. Using a power meant to save.
What message would that bring then? Both for a groomed child to believe he was born a monster, to die knowing that was true, that he never had a choice? Does that mean he could've only found peace in his death? And what does that mean for Izuku, who wanted to avoid an outcome where that kid died? Especially when Izuku previously would be fighting tooth and nails, blood, sweat and (many) tears to stop Tenko from destroying himself?
The story isn’t black and white, but it has always depicted abuse victims and their survivors respectfully, and the idea of the child that needed saving the most, dying before a chance of redemption goes against one message: That anyone can, and deserves to be a hero, in any way, shape or form. To have that glimmer of hope, of faith. It brings me the quote:
"Tenko, do you still want to be a hero?"
If Tenko doesn't get a choice, or a chance to respond, that means Izuku wasn’t doing his best just yet.
This enters prediction territory, which I don't usually make, but. In my honest opinion?
I think this is the moment Izuku finally reaches Tenku —Insecurities and repression of righteous anger, over not being able to keep his promise of saving that kid, uncertainty, for not being able to be a hero that saves people with a smile, vulnerability over realizing this is it, this “was the last act” of Hero Deku, and heartbreak. How can he call himself a hero if he can’t save a single child? Whether he likes it or not, now this is his Tenku, because Midoriya Izuku doesn’t walk away from this without being able to save Tenko.
He can’t; otherwise he can’t be considered the World’s Greatest Hero, if he doesn’t fulfill his half of “Win to Save, Save to Win”. That means a perfect victory, minimal to no casualties, is unachievable. All For One wins even if he loses, name tied to Shigaraki Tomura, the Symbol of Fear. He doesn’t get One For All, but gets to take down Tenko with him, so Tenko doesn't get to die free, even as a sacrifice of his choice. Unlike Eri, who was freed from the shackles of Overhaul, Tenko didn't get that chance. The Shimura bloodline dies, and Izuku doesn't prove their generation is different, better than the previous heroes. That doesn't sound fair, does it?
A failure he seemingly couldn’t avoid, or one he could’ve but was unable to? The lowest point Izuku can face, where he’s faced with the worst things that can happen to him has happened twice already in the same arc already; if we consider the time in-universe, the time between Katsuki’s death and Tenko’s death was at worst in the same hour. With everything that happened since the start of this saga; it’s been at best a month’s overdue of a breakdown. Thus, the missing introspection from him.
I believe it’s now beneficial that Izuku can't access One For All: there are no signs of the mask from “the strongest Hero who always does his best”— This is the Quirkless kid who wanted to save people with a smile. And if he can’t do that, does that mean he’s the useless Deku who can’t do anything?
Despite being more receptive to words, Izuku is a character who can't be trusted with what he says, instead what he does. He mumbles all he sees, cries rivers for others, but those green eyes will show you waters waiting to turn into a flooding storm. His actions will always overcompensate for his true thoughts he'd never share, because his thoughts only matter when you ask: What do you really know about Midoriya Izuku?
Nobody would have an answer, except for the one person who managed to misread him for ten years.
Izuku is by far the most reckless character, and stubborn to a fault. He'll pretend he's fine so others won't worry, so he can keep lying to himself a little more, but it's a mask to hide how much he's gonna hate himself, think he's a failure for this. Seeing him give up like that isn’t like him, now, is it? And that truth needs to come from the person, who, while not the only one to make Izuku question his worth, is the only one that can take him out of this mentality. Someone who matches that stubbornness, makes him listen to the truth. And makes him truly let the flood out, even if others think it unpleasant.
To counteract hopelessness, Izuku needs Katsuki. To finally ask out how any of what he experienced was fair. What good was all this pain. Why all of this, for a fight he lost this badly? For a person he couldn't save? For a dream that will never happen? For a Quirk that was never his, that he didn't get to keep? For a life where no one believed in him, were they proven right not to? Didn't he deserve better? He would know, having tried to leave him behind for a decade and realizing he can't go through it, when they just started being equals again.
If their feelings did become one, Katsuki then must be able to read Izuku like a notebook kept close to his chest and give him the right, truthful answers. Their walls aren't around anymore and Katsuki's now become the more emotionally open of the two, so he can make Izuku open up his damned heart and put it in his nerdy All Might’s shirt sleeve.
Izuku was Katsuki's hero before a Quirk. It's Izuku followed him when Katsuki didn't want him, who tried to save him even when he was told to take a swan dive off a roof. It's Izuku who still risked his life for a month to help others at the cost of his own health. If Izuku fought to save, to catch up to everyone so far ahead, why's he shutting down at the finishing line? Why stop fighting now?
In any case. Izuku needs to break down and someone to build himself up. Katsuki’s role as Izuku's closest one ends up being indispensable here— bringing in mind BK: Origin. If not seeking victory is unlike Katsuki, then so is Izuku thinking salvation’s too late. Contradicting their core beliefs is the lowest point, and pulling each other out of the spiral is the goal. The world and Class 1-A are connected to Izuku, but Izuku has yet to connect to himself. Both Tenko and Katsuki are now tied to One For All, through All For One and leftover embers, so why not make this count? From Katsuki, to Izuku, to Tenko.
These are guesses that rely on an outcome that might not happen in the story, but right now, I’d like to believe Izuku’s vault isn’t locked in nine keys anymore. There’s only him and a closed door, in a room that has always been locked, he never thought to open it before. Sometimes, it knocks, and he ignores it. And now it's time to open it and see what's on the other side, connecting him to what he’s been holding onto for the entirety of this story. Rewarding him one last time as he finally catches up.
By reaching Tenku, the story is allowed to continue, and wrap up in Kekku, the fourth act.
Izuku constantly breaks the expectations of everyone in-story. So maybe, he has some of One For All left. Maybe he’s somehow connected to it. Maybe he’ll keep it, receive a new version, or that’s One For All’s last hurrah. Maybe, there’s a chance he can take everything back, and start anew. But connecting to his emotions would help him understand Tenko. And in return, Tenko would finally take a comforting hand.
Either way, realizing what he’s been missing will be the key for the narrative to reconnect to him: Izuku doesn’t give up on anyone. There are no more people telling him what he’s supposed to be or what to do, no legacies tying him down— there’s only him, confronting the last of the Status Quo of the narrative. His actions are the ones that’ll restore this narrative to one of hope. Rain has finally faded to light. Starting with a death, ending with a rebirth.
The consequences will still exist, and must be faced by as many characters as possible, and if, hopefully when that happens, we can start to see the fruits of the turning points: Izuku’s own blooming realizations have to be the hand that’ll lead to Tenko’s Rising. Only then, the world they knew can rise from their mistakes. And maybe Izuku will be there, at peace, graduating with Class 1-A under cherry blossoms, knowing everyone gets to smile once again.
And only then, we'll know if Midoriya Izuku has gone further beyond his dreams of being a hero.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, even a little bit.
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indigo-grimoire · 2 years ago
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Hi-Fi RUSH theory rambling time
I was writing this for a wiki but why the hell not post it here too -
Chai's music player deliberately chooses songs that fit his emotions at the time. The game already implies that the music player's grafting to Chai affects more than his physical abilities and reacts to stress (like when The Rush starts playing when he's hit by the SBR-001), so it's entirely possible that this includes picking the song that would be the most personal.
With the streamer mode songs, that might even include the lyrics; even before the surgery, Chai is listening to "The Beacon" which is about being rescued from a dark, lonely place (possibly his own life prospects and hope about Project Armstrong), so it could be emulating the same habits. Notably, that song in specific could be suggesting he had depression or some sort of breakdown before the events of the game, but since Chai never shares about his life before this, no way of knowing.
(spoilers under the cut, to go into the songs individually:)
"I Got This", which only starts playing after he's started his escape, is about Chai's euphoria in getting freedom and attention, and having no intention of letting his new arm be taken away from him.
"Too Big To Fail" is similar, focusing on Chai's determination to fight anything that wants to take away his newfound freedom.
"Captive Normals" adds an extra layer to the ableist angle that being called a "defect" seems to have on him, as it insists on not submitting to anyone just to be "normal", even if that means acting well out of line. The lyrics have a LOT of ableist imagery mentioned (asylums, being shoved out of conversations, being “bed bound” and forgotten) further supporting that Chai has a lot of restrained anger about it.
"Buzzsaw" is Chai's first genuine act of teamwork instead of being mostly self serving, and the lyrics reflect a need to make it count despite the odds.
“This’ll Be Rough” speaks for itself; climbing Wing 2 is a pain and a break would be nice, but Chai is gonna do it anyway; fits his character well.
"My Heart Feels No Pain" seems to specifically relate to Mimosa's contribution to Chai joining the project. The female vocals insist it can't be a lie if he took the risks knowingly, while the male vocals have a realization that it was a mistake but it's not too late; culminating in the duet talking about Chai being truly free from her propaganda as the last bit of truth about Vandelay was fully revealed in the previous Track - not even Project Armstrong was Kale's idea in the first place, and his "coolness" was all manufactured through altering the truth about his family.
"Surfacing" is a reply to "The Beacon", having realized that a miracle wouldn't turn his life around, and instead Chai had to make the best out of his situation through effort.
"In a Blink" starts out mild as the music player is malfunctioning, describing a moment of hesitation leading to being manipulated (much like SPECTRA, but with the song playing at all, it’s clear Chai still had a little resistance left in him); but once 808 breaks him out of it, the song kicks in at full force, repeatedly telling himself to "snap out" as there is too much at stake, and face Kale head on.
EDIT: I saw a different interpretation of In a Blink’s lyrics that doesn’t match up at with the previous, so putting this alt here: assuming the themes use the vampirism allegory, it actually changes the context to something far more gay I mean vengeful. Kale put Chai in a world of lies set up to be a tool; but now that Chai is part of it, “it's my turn to feed”, as in, he’ll make full use of it to turn the tables instead of becoming the puppet. No seriously the vampirism angle only makes this more gay
In constrast, "Negotiation" and "Reflection" have no lyrics whatsoever or a licenced counterpart, as Chai is focusing on the task at hand fully.
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aemiron-main · 8 months ago
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Something Hungry for Blood vs Brenner Sr “Consuming” Blood
Thinking about all Mike talking about “something hungry for blood” in S1:
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Vs Brenner Sr “consuming” blood when getting his blood transfusions in TFS (even though the transfusions didn’t work because his blood type had changed, he was still using up the blood while they tried to make it work) vs “when 001 kills he consumes” vs the Brennergorgon & Doppelganger-Demogorgon stuff & the way that Greater Doppelgangers can consume the memories, personality etc of their victims…
And then “hungry for blood,” versus the “hungry One” line from S3 and the fact that when 001 got sent to Dimension X, he ended up weirdly resembling Brenner (which also extends to Brenner Sr) during his transformation, which is extra weird considering that Brenner Sr also ended up in Dimension X due to project rainbow:
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What’s extra interesting though, is that while the “hungry for blood,” line is still connected to the Demogorgon because it was meant to be a fake-out for the Demogorgon/to trick the party into thinking it was the Demogorgon when the Demogorgon wasn’t there yet, it was actually about Troglodytes initially:
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And what’s interesting about Troglodytes, and specifically the idea of Troglodytes being connected to Brenner Sr, is the fact that Troglodytes tend to drag victims back to their caves to eat them:
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Which, TFS Henry vanished into a cave prior to the events of TFS, and seemingly may have ended up in Dimension X during that time- versus Brenner Sr also ending up in Dimension X, and then there’s the fact that Troglodytes take their victims to caves to eat them versus all of the “something hungry for blood” vs brenner sr consuming blood stuff i just talking about PLUS the fact that henry “changed” the same way brenner sr did/seems to have the same sort of weird new blood type as brenner sr, meaning that he would be the only person whose blood brenner sr could Actually use/“consume… Brenner sr and/or brenner jr, quick, did you guys try and take some of henry’s blood in the cave to try and save brenner sr or something?? Like with the context of time fuckery/time not being linear/the idea that blood from henry in the 50s could be used back in the 40s to save brenner sr…. There’s just something rattling there.
Troglodytes can also a.) chameleon to change their skin colour/blend in with their surroundings which then connects to all of the shapeshifter-doppelganger-demogorgon stuff, and also connects them to the project rainbow stuff because the elridge was trying to turn invisible/chameleon itself with its surroundings and b.) they can literally smell fear, which has me staring at all of the fear stuff in TFS/the way that the MF seems almost feed off of fear vs all of brenner sr’s connections to the shadow Plus the way that TFS brenner jr seems to try and scare henry & also purposefully flickers the light, scaring the inmate:
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Anyway. Lots to think about!
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cherriive · 3 months ago
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MIRACULOUS, SIMPLY THE BEST — with Felix
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001 DESCRIPTION — which two people meant for each other, finds magical jewelry that grants them superpowers. With a new villain in the city, they will need to cooperate with each other to fight for the good.
002 TAGS — f!reader, slow updates (99% sure of it), fluff, more to be added soon.
003 FIRST SEASON
EPISODE ONE — ???
EPISODE TWO — ???
EPISODE THREE — ???
MORE EPISODES SOON...
004 EXTRA EPISODES
???
005 TAGGING — ???
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©LOVELYSHU — do not plagiarize, copy, post my work on other social media or feed it to AI.
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dragonkidalumnus · 1 year ago
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Oh! Wow! A lot of people have been liking my little robot blurb, and I have some new followers (hi!) so I thought I’d introduce myself-
I’m Alum, and this is my main blog. I have a lot of feelings about monsters, robots and Star Trek, so that’s what you’re likely to see if I’m on your feed.
I don’t consider myself much of a writer, and it’s touching to know that so many people liked my tiny little story! I guess I could post more writing, if anyone would be interested?
Also! I figured I’d give my reasoning for the ‘001’ in 4’s number: it’s because this is 62’s first job assignment. 62 knows that it spells ‘FOOL’, and finds it amusing, but that’s just an afterthought.
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upon-leda · 23 days ago
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LOG #001
[ click! ]
Hello. Um. Hello, diary? That doesn't sound correct. Log 1.
I discovered this new feature on my communication device recently. New to me. It listens to you and makes a chat out of it. It might make logging my actions easier. I don't know.
I moved into this area about five weeks ago now. I think so, at least. It doesn't really feel like any time has passed - I think that's just what happens when you're not used to something new yet.
Five weeks. It took some time to adjust to living here, but it feels like I'm finding my way. I noticed a few broken structures dotted around the forest, so I've been fixing those. It gives me something to do, and hopefully it gives something back to the villagers. I'm not too sure how they do things around here just yet.
[ a soft chuckle ]
There's a lot of stray animals around here. The cats mostly seem to stick around the village. I've left them alone. I feed a couple of the dogs in my part of the forest, though - they look like they need it. A few of them moved into my house. I'm not sure how they got in, but I don't mind too much. If they figured out my haphazard entrance, they deserve to be here.
I stayed at one of the houses in the mountain village for a couple days. They eventually suggested I build my own house, so here we are. The building isn't finished yet, but it's warm and has the necessary facilities. I'll keep working on it in between projects.
I...
[ someone clears their throat ]
I don't like this feature a lot. I thought speaking would come more naturally than writing. It's what they did back home, right? They were always talking into their communication devices. It worked for them.
Sometimes I feel like a... what do they call it? Creeper? Because of how bad I am with technology. I never had a communication device before this. I didn't need it. It's strange, really. They seemed like redstone devices, things to be commanded. But it feels more like the device is a part of me. I need to type out my chats, but everything else is... tracked. I can't tell if I like that or not.
I might go back to writing my logs physically. I don't know where this will end up, and that unnerves me. My physical diaries? I can keep those in one spot.
[ a pause. there's soft whirring in the background, presumably from some kind of redstone contraption ]
...Yeah. I think I'll do that.
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