#New!JojaPinkTM

[maxwell-mtv]

Introducing Joja Pink™️

[I've been brainstorming this since Spring, but I'll be diving my hand into the world of NSFW writing with my new AU. Introduction below the cut (there won't be any NSFW in it, that'll be purely on my AO3). The chapters will follow a general story plot but won't be plot heavy like my other fanfictions I'm writing. Think of it like self indulgence. Feel free to request any pairings, scenarios, etc, and I'll do my best (so long as it's nothing gross/illegal/ generally just awful) to write it when I have time away from my studies!]

NEW! Introducing Joja's new tonic for you! With refreshing bubbles and hints of rosemary and ginseng, Joja Pink™️ is the tonic we're sure everyone will love! Try it today from your local JojaMart! You'll do better with Joja :)

Joja Pink™️ is not to be ingested by anyone under the age of 21. Joja Corp is not liable for any adverse reactions from ingesting Joja Pink™️. If you believe that Joja Pink™️ may be causing a severe allergic reaction, we advise you wait 24 hours for symptoms to disperse before seeking medical attention.

Standing over a metal table, a final product was placed for display on a tray. Its curved bottle was slender and made from clouded glass which gave the illusion of it being filled with cherry clouds. The label was refined and determined to make any middle aged mom stop and fancy its features. In cursive lettering, framed by various pink petal decals it read:

Joja Pink The New Tonic For You

At the very bottom there was a warning that whatever fizzing liquid inside was intended for mature audiences, no younger than 21. 

It was a drink that was intended, to general audiences, for more feminine people seeking a healthier alternative to their infamous Joja Cola. It would surely give rise to a new audience of folks looking for a cheap, albeit refreshing, drink, exclusive to their stores alone.

Standing over the displayed prototype was a tall, young looking man. Brunette hair draped over his face, cupping the edges of his cheeks, and stopping at his ears. Glasses reflected the lights which cast a sinister shadow over his features. Reaching up to adjust his sights, he smirks. “So this is what you guys at the lab came up with?”

A slouched, disheveled looking man in a lab coat nodded. “Thanks to the folks in the design department, we’ve perfected the next product that will sell millions!”

“Is that so?” The younger man teases, circling the table to view the bottle at all dimensions without daring to touch it. “I guess this’ll do. I’ll let my superiors know you’ve done an acceptable job.”

The scientist backs nervously from the young man. “Th-There��s just one problem, sir.”

The younger man stops and cranes his neck to snarl at him. “What now?” He snaps.

“There are some adverse side effects...” The scientist manages.

“Are there really?” Coldly said, the young man lowers his face so the light no longer blinds his eyes from the scientist. “Shocking.” He retorts sarcastically. “If it’s like the last product, it doesn’t matter. Slap another warning label on and we’ll be exempt from legal action.”

“I-It’s not that simple sir! Surely with another trial run, I-I’ve created a less potent version which should resolve the effects of this one.”

“I don’t have more time. I have the COO and stakeholders breathing down my neck so this can be sold and served ASAP. It’s bad enough we’ve already had to delay its release from Spring to now!” The young man takes a moment and slumps, pinching the bridge of his nose as he collects his temper.

Shaking, the scientist holds out a thick folder containing a whole slew of papers, charts, and reports. “Mr. Dobson, surely if you just took a look at the test results you’d see why-”

“As if my time should be wasted on reading terminology that no one can understand but eggheads like you!” Snatching the folder up, he tucks it under his arm. Leaning in, he goes nose to nose with the poor, shaken older man. “If I scan this over and there is nothing about physical harm being done to those test subjects, I’ll have my lost hours of productivity compensated by comping your paycheck!”

Pulling back, Dobson circles the table once more. Standing before the drink, his confidence smirk returns. “Trust me, Dr. Wallace, you’re over thinking things again. Just as you did with Joja Bluu. And look how that went! We managed to turn it into a trendy craze amongst kids! We encouraged purchases for it by running competitions which never really had any payout to begin with! We rigged it, as we always do, so the people learn to love what we feed them.”

“B-B-Bu-But what about the kids who were hospitalized when they drank all those sodas!? Their skin permanently dyed a dark blue! No one should be ingesting more than one of those, let alone these,” he gestures to the pink bottle, “a week! The side effects will be chaotic and dangerous for any poor schmuck who plays into this latest scheme!”

“Dr. Wallace, might I remind you we’re not in this to make the world a better place!” Dobson scolds. “We’re in it for the chance at survival in a shrinking economy! With the war overseas, there’s never been a better time to thrive! Now,” Dobson strides to the exit, teasing a hand over the handle. “If I find out you put in a complaint against me or my approval of this drink, then I’ll have your job on the line too!”

Dejected, Dr. Wallace slinks back and bitterly eyes the bottle. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now send that approval report to me so I can forward it and get these things out by Friday. Releasing it while it’s still hot will do us justice.”

“Yes, sir…”

With that, the two men part, leaving only the future this drink had laid out for its unsuspecting victims.

…

Grunting, Shane drops another box marked “FRAGILE” on the linoleum floors of the JojaMart he was employed. Following him was another, younger man with spiked blond hair and a visible attitude for rebellion. “Can you believe they’re coming out with this now?” The young kid, Sam, speaks up as he dusts his palms off. 

“Yeah, I swear I was tripping when Morris announced this junk’s release again, but I guess they overshot their timing.” Shane responds gruffly, cutting open the box. Reaching in, he puts the first of many 4 packs of the newly produced bottles onto a display. Looking back and out at the nearby exit, he huffs. 

“Yeah, by two whole seasons! I heard from Martin that these babies were held back in the testing period. Something about ‘unforeseen side effects’.” Echoing Shane’s efforts, he began unpacking his own box onto the display table.

Shane scoffs, rolling his eyes. “What doesn’t cause some weird shit to happen when it comes from this shithole?”

“Easy now, last time I saw Morris he was working out where he could put the rest of these.” Sam glances around nervously before turning back to his work.

“Like I give a shit. If that old fart hears me, what’s he gonna do? Not like anyone else is dumb enough to work here...”

The redhead at the register several feet away huffs.

“Oh, hey Claire! I don’t think he meant you…” Sam attempts to defend Shane.

Looking over his shoulder at their only female coworker, Shane glares. “Yes I did.” He retorts and turns back to Sam, slamming another case onto the table. 

“Now let’s remember, folks, whatever you break while on the clock gets docked from your pay.” The chilling, condescending tone of their store manager makes Shane blanch. He can feel the man come closer from behind, stopping just a few feet away to better take a look at their progress. “Looky here, a fine display coming around from the both of you! I’m sure if we talk this thing up enough that it’ll sell like hot cakes!”

Shane turns to face his boss. “Considering how many chicks are in this town? I don’t doubt they’ll all flock to try this pink pony garbage.”

“Men can drink it too, you know.” Morris warns and leans over to slide a bottle from its cardboard corner cozy. “I’m trying it myself.”

“Oh? Far from you to like Joja Cola, sir.” Sam crosses his arms and eyes the cocky man with suspicion.

“Well, for one this isn’t a soda, it’s more of a seltzer. And for another, my managers have given all JojaMart managers the lucky chance to try it before it sells.”

“So what? It’s going on the floor today…” Shane remarks.

“Yes, I suppose I did hold off till the last minute.” Morris chuckles softly, glancing sheepishly to the side. “Well, anyhow, I should go. I have some reports to finish up.”

“Hey!” Shane calls, effectively stopping Morris in his tracks. “What are we s’posed to do with this case, huh? We can’t just sell it if it’s missing one!”

Morris’s smile grows, one could almost hear the bell go off in his head before he answered. “You’re right. Normally JojaMarts have more managers to share these sorts of deals with. However since I’m the only one and that’s going to just get written off during inventory anyway, why don’t you two boys have a riot and give some to your friends? Consider it a gift from your friends at Joja!” Gleaming, Morris marches right back to his office located at the front of the store.

The two men look between each other, the now shut door of Morris’s office, and the leftover bottles from the carrier. After a moment, Shane shrugs and waves Sam off. “Go ahead and take them. I only drink one kind of fizz made for adults…”

“Really!? Dude, this is the best day ever! You think Abigail would wanna try one of these?” Sam bounces with joy, taking one of the bottles in his hands and looking it over.

“How should I know? It’s not like I hang out with her…”

“You’re right, I’ll just find out tonight at the Saloon…”

“Good thinking. You know what else is good thinking?”

Sam tilts his head curiously. “Hm?”

“Me not being the only one to finish unpacking. Come on, man.”

“R-Right, sorry.”