#Never thought the depression game would make a laugh this much

[aurora-afie]

[cybergirrll]

fuse

hamzah x reader

synopsis- power goes out in your apartment complex, your friend hamzah who lives on the floor above you stops by in the middle of the night

fluff?!!! friends to lovers?!! (p.s. i personally think if you listen to pretty girl by clairo while you read it makes the whole thing a lot cuter)

-

about 5 minutes ago, you’d woken up for no apparent reason. you figured you’d drift back into your previous ever so peaceful slumber, but you were wrong.

so now, annoyed at your minds inability to fall back asleep you stared at the wall, mindlessly observing how the moonlight ever so slightly lit up the back of the curtains, the drapes allowing the softest light to mix amongst the darkness the room withheld.

usually when you awoke in the night like this, you fell back asleep almost immediately, having no memory of it in the morning. this time however, your heart fluttered in an exhilarating way. maybe it was the overload of coffee you had that morning, or maybe it was the boy upstairs.

hamzah lived on floor 3 in apartment A. you lived on floor 2 in apartment A. you’d met about four months ago, when there was a mix up with the mail addresses and you were getting coupons for cat litter. quickly, you became great friends. you were kind of lonely, with your friends living on the other side of town, and him being alone most of the time with his two cats. you loved having movie nights, going grocery shopping together at the store down the block, pet sitting red and blue, meeting on the balcony, complaining about your annoying neighbors, talking about movies, music, games and everything. it was one of the greatest friendships you’d ever had.

however, in the past week, something felt different. you tried to suppress the growing attraction that swelled your heart, twisting your stomach with butterflies whenever you saw him. it was so corny you felt sick. he was only a friend, you’d never even thought about liking him like that before but it crept up on you so suddenly, like an unexpected wave that hit you from behind, knocking you over and drifting you out into the cerulean blue sea. you weren’t used to feeling like this. so, you ignored it.

he was the last thing on your mind when you went to sleep and the first when you woke up in the middle of the night. you couldn’t help it. he was so awkward but in his own way where it was funny and sweet and so charming and hes so gentle and nice and so funny and he laughs at all your jokes and makes you laugh and his smile was so cute and his hair is adorable and he’s so smart and cute andUuooaagghhhh my god. he was driving you absolutely insane.

you felt so nervous to be around him, like he might sense what’s in your eyes and then you would implode right then and there. when he talks to you about how he used to be so depressed living on his own and how it got better but he still feels that empty void in him sometimes, you just want to kiss him on the mouth right then and there and tell him everything’s going to be okay and that you loved him so much and you wanted him to be happy forever. these kinds of thoughts kept you up the past few nights.

you checked the time on your phone 1:15 AM. welp. you were already up. you leaned over, clicking your lamp on. the bulb didn’t light up. you clicked it off and on again and still, there was no dim glow you hoped for. you peered down at the wall where the lamp was plugged in. “hmmm.” you got up and flicked the light switch by your door, your overhead light unresponsive.

a soft knock on your front door.

you were creeped out now, sure you were about to have some true crime documentary made about you. you waited for a moment, another soft knock. it wasn’t in your imagination. taking another deep breath, you slipped out of your room and over to the front door. you peeked through the peephole, relieved, and a bit nervous, to see hamzah.

you opened the door. “you scared the shit out of me.” his eyes looked sleepy, curls unruly. “sorry,” he smiled softly “i just wanted to check on you. i think a power line broke or something.” you stared at him for a moment, gripping the door a little tighter when you realized you were only in your underwear and an oversized t shirt.

“um- yeah. yeah, i’m okay. why were you up?” you tugged your t shirt down a little bit to cover the tops of your thighs. thankfully his gaze stayed fixed on your eyes. “i was editing a video, and then uhh- everything went dark. yeah.” he chuckled softly

“yeah you look tire-“ “why were you up?” he blurted.

“oh- i, no sorry what were you saying.”

“oh nothing,” you giggled a little.

“i just woke up in the middle of the night, couldn’t go back to sleep.”

he nodded, smiling softly, a little flustered.

you two stood there for a few quiet moments, just looking at each other. you felt so fluttery, like you were in a dream. maybe it was the eeriness of the situation, the fact that it was one in the morning and he was at your door like he’d usually be during the day. you weren’t sure if you should invite him in, or if it was a stupid idea because he looked tired. but then why was he here? it was almost the middle of the night and it’s not like a power outage would wake you up, so he would’ve assumed you were asleep.

he smiled softly at you and turned to walk away, taking a few steps before you ran out and grabbed his hand. “wait.”

he turned around, his eyes wide and soft in the darkness of the hallway. shoot. now he was looking at you and now you had to explain yourself but you don’t even know why you did that, you just couldn’t let him leave. you were still holding onto his hand

“stay.”

“you want me to?” hamzah’s voice was gentle, soft, drizzling down your spine like warm honey. he was talking to you this way, his eyes glimmering, so relaxed, so sleepy, so dark, so him.

you nodded, calculating your next moves in your head. this moment felt so perfect, you didn’t want to let it slip through your fingers.

you could lead him inside, just to go back talking again like the friends you were but something about this, standing in the hallway now made you want it to last. you wanted to capture this moment and keep it in a jar and live in that jar forever, you wanted to pour whatever was in that jar into your tea every morning, hoping it gave you that same unreal feeli-

his hand in yours. he squeezed it softly.

without thinking he laced his fingers with yours, slowly led you back inside your apartment and closed your door. you turned to face him, your back against the door. he moved closer, big brown eyes peering into yours, trying to figure something out.

you just looked and looked at him until he smiled at you. he’d never been like this with anyone, really. but he liked this feeling with you. you place your hand on his shoulder, awkwardly moving up to the side of his neck.

his hand fell down to your waist, other hand still holding yours tightly. he looks at you, a little nervous. you nod. he mumbles your name softly, hand fisting the side of your cotton shirt.

“you’re my favorite,” he mumbles again, under his breath. you bury your fingers in the back of his head and gently pull him closer until his nose brushes against yours. you can tell he’s a little nervous.

you kiss his lips softly and then pull away a little, looking into his eyes. he leans back in, hand cupping your face as he kisses you again. he was so warm and gentle against you, afraid you would shatter if he wasn’t soft enough with you.

he didn’t think he was much for affection, but the way you sighed against his mouth when he kissed you made him want more of you. he wanted to kiss you all day all the time forever. god he liked you so much. how did he go so long without this?

you pulled away a little, forehead against his. “hamzah i-“ a car alarm starts blaring outside, red headlights pulsing and flashing faintly from outside, piercing the dark. you hear muffled chatter and complaints from outside. hamzah pulled away, glancing towards the window and muttering something about bad timing.

“i um- i should head back to my place.” he shoved his hands in his pockets. you open your mouth to speak, hesitating and then just nodding. “okay, yeah um-“ you slide off of the door and open it for him. he looks at you quickly and mumbles a “night” before he slips out of the door and you close it behind him.

you slide down against the door, knees tucked against your chest on the floor. the car alarm finally died down outside. what were you even supposed to do now? go back to sleep?

-

hope u enjoyed!! sorry if this totally sucks 🤧

[ludwig-van-gaythoven]

Cabin Fever - (Regina George x F Reader) Part 6

Fandom;

Mean Girls (2024)

Pairings:

Regina George x Reader

Summary:

The students of Northshore go on a school trip for a week in the forest. You end up getting to know the apex predator in a way you’d never seen her before.

Warnings;

Underage smoking, homophobia.

Parts;

Part1// Part 2// Part 3// Part 4// Part 5// Part 6

It had been 2 days since the camping trip ended, 4 days since you last heard anything from Janis, and approximately 3 days since you kissed Regina George, and Regina George kissed you back. Not that you were counting.

The morning after, she had woken up before you and was already packing your campsite away before you had the chance to speak to her. Gretchen, Karen and Shane had already found you and you had to walk back to the meeting point as a group. Regina was back to being all over Shane again, she spent most of the walk back draped over his shoulder. She didn’t try and make the usual snarky comments towards you, she just ignored you entirely.

Back to being invisible I guess.

You sat alone on the coach journey back. Regina was sat with Gretchen and Karen again. You tried to steal a few pleading glances at her but she never met your eyes.

Your apartment feels emptier that usual when you get back. You manage to avoid thinking about the whole situation all weekend, busying yourself with video games and sleep to try and avoid spontaneously combusting from anxiety at the thought of going to school on Monday. The floor of your apartment is littered with takeaway containers, you don’t have the mental or physical energy to cook this weekend.

When Monday morning rolls round, you sort of wish you’d spontaneously combusted because it’d be much less messy than the eventual argument with Janis would be.

You’re not sure who you’re more anxious to see. It’s likely Regina will go back to ignoring your entire existence so it’s not like anything dramatic would happen. You hope.

You sigh and drag your aching body out of bed in a desperate attempt to shake off the sleep. You have a quick shower to wash away the depression of the past weekend and throw on some jeans and a T-shirt. You make sure you remember to pick up your headphones, they’re likely to be needed today.

You grab your car keys and open the car door. To your surprise, the car actually starts first time.

On the drive there you hope you hit every red light possible, or maybe your car breaks down. Anything so you don’t have to face Regina, or Janis.

Usually Janis would come over at the weekend. She thinks it’s cool you live alone and you usually spend the time playing video games together, getting drunk, smoking or just generally hanging out. Janis was the first person, apart from family that you’d told about being a lesbian. She was the first one to react positively at least. She came out to you a week later.

Because you spent so much time together you thought you might have a crush on her. She was cute, and you enjoyed spending time together. It still makes you cringe when you remember her kissing you one drunken night. You both agreed that it wasn't a romantic attraction and luckily managed to laugh it off and go back to normal. Especially since Janis had admitted to being in love with someone else who didn’t feel the same way.

Imagine Janis’s reaction if she knew you’d kissed Regina.

When you arrive you immediately spot Regina’s pink jeep, it wasn’t exactly hard to find. You also see Janis’s beaten up car, chips in the paintwork that she had filled with colorful acrylic. There’s probably no point in trying to find Regina, she wouldn’t dare risk her status speaking to you in public, so you decide to try and find Janis before classes start. You miss her a lot.

As you walk into the building you spot her and Damien in the same spot you meet every morning, does that mean they were waiting for you? Maybe Janis has forgiven you over the weekend, you haven’t had an argument before that’s lasted more than one day.

Clearly not because as soon as she spots you walking over she rolls here eyes and starts to walk away at speed. You try and shout after her but she turns at yells back.

“Sorry, don’t want you to think I’m obsessed with you!” And flips you off. Damien just gives you an apologetic shrug and follows after her.

It makes your blood boil slightly. It wasn’t just your fault! She was also being a dick!

You consider sneaking out behind the bins in the car park for a cigarette to try and calm your anger, it seems like a good plan, even if you miss the start of class.

You stay well out of the eye line of teachers as you slink out to the car park and light a much needed cigarette, you sigh out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

Someone appears out of the corner of your eye, coming around the corner of the bins. There’s nowhere to hide, you brace yourself to be chewed out by a teacher.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

It’s Janis.

You ignore her and take a long drag of your cigarette. She sighs and lights her own. You both stand in silence, staring out at the road.

“I’m sorry.” You both say at once. Janis shoots you a shy smile.

“I overreacted.” She rubs her arm nervously. “I know you wouldn’t lie to me on purpose.”

A pang of guilt sparks in your chest and makes you feel sick.

“I shouldn’t have said you’re obsessed with Regina, I know that’s opening old wounds.” You offer back.

Her shoulders loosen and she swaps her cigarette into her other hand, reaching out towards you.

“Truce?” She says with a dorky grin.

You take her hand.

“Truce.” You laugh back and shake it.

You both finish your cigarette and head back to class. It feels better to not be fighting with your best friend but you still haven’t exactly told the truth.

It’s not like you were ever going to kiss Regina again. Maybe Janis didn’t have to know this small detail.

The day feels like it’s dragging on forever, you’re too busy thinking about what happened with Regina, and debating what you should have said to Janis to pay attention to any lessons, especially not this one.

It’s health class, otherwise known as the most awkward and cringey explanation of sex done by a teacher who clearly wants a pay rise but won’t get one. Nobody is really paying attention, only the boys who laugh and yell anytime the teacher says the word ‘penis’.

This is the only class you share with Regina. She’s sitting at the back of the room, filing her nails into perfect claws, with her legs draped across Shane Oman. The sight of it makes your stomach flip.

She clearly catches you staring because she meets your eyes and scowls. She pushes her legs further up Shane’s, whose face goes red. He’s probably just got the most embarrassing hard on. You roll your eyes at her, bold move, she scowls more.

At least she’s not ignoring you entirely.

You feel your phone buzz. It’s Janis sending some stupid meme, it makes you smile, you message her back with a meme you’d saved the night before.

Regina suddenly clears her throat and interrupts the class.

“I think we should learn more about lesbian sex to help some people in this class” she smirks and sends you a pointed look.

Your face heats up. Did she know you were talking to Janis? Was she hacked into your phone? Was she worried you were telling everyone about the kiss? You feel anger boil up inside again.

Two can play at that game.

“I actually think we should learn about avoiding teen pregnancy.” You shoot back, raising an eyebrow at her. There’s an eruption of laughter and Regina looks pissed.

“At least I’m getting some!”

“Both of you, out! Go to the library and I’ll see you after class to give you your assignments, and an hour’s detention.” The teacher shouts.

Regina hops off of Shane’s lap and scoffs like it’s some huge injustice and you follow behind, leaving a generous amount of room between you.

When you get to the library you’re the only ones there. It’s silent and the air tastes like stale books. Regina practically throws her bag down and storms off to the far end of the library. You stomp to the other end in an attempt to be as far away from her as possible.

You unlock your phone and think about texting Janis about what just happened but that would require more explanation and probably cause another fight.

You slump down against one of the shelves of books and decide to scroll tumblr instead.

“You know just because you kissed me it doesn’t mean I’m like in love with you.” You glance up and Regina is standing above you now with her arms folded.

Her blue eyes are fixed on you, you trail your gaze down. She’s wearing a short white skirt and a pink crop top with a grey hoodie. Her hair bounces in loose curls against her shoulders. You hope she didn’t catch you looking.

“I never said you were.” You growl.

“I didn’t even want to kiss you.” She spits back.

It stings a little, but you can’t let her have the last word.

“Yeah well, kissing you was a mistake anyway.” You quip back. It’s probably true, you don’t regret it though. You’d kiss Regina again, a hundred times.

“That’s bullshit.” Her brows furrow. “You’re obsessed with me.”

“Jesus Regina, you’ve said that about so many people. Get your head out of your ass.” You snap and she huffs and moves closer, looming over you.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?.”

You stand.

“I said, get your head out of your ass. If you’re so bothered by a kiss, why did you kiss me back?” You challenge, you’re not entirely sure where the confidence has come from but Regina has a way of getting you so riled up you can’t hold back.

She snarls and pins you against the shelf of books, her blonde locks fall either side of you and one book hits the ground with a thud, the pages splaying and creasing against the ground.

You feel like prey.

Suddenly she lunges at you. You expect pain, a fist to the face, a slap but instead you feel her lips pressed hard against yours, it feels like it’ll bruise.

You hear the door to the library open and she bites down on your lip hard before pulling away.

You can taste the metallic tang of blood on your tongue.

The teacher walks in and sets a bag down on one of the desks. He attempts to tell you both off for your behaviour in class but you can tell he’s intimidated by Regina’s icy glare.

“Because both of you decided to get yourselves sent out, you didn’t get the chance to pick your partners for this assignment, so you’ll be paired together.”

You hear Regina groan dramatically. This is familiar.

The teacher unzips the bag and pulls out a baby doll in a car seat. Your eyes widen.

“You two will be co parenting for a week. The baby has sensors and at the end of the week we will be able to track how you held the baby, how long you let him cry, when he’s fed and more. Here’s a workbook, I expect you both to fill it out during this week with the baby. If you fail this assignment, you’ll have to do it again for another week so don’t think about turning it off.” He places the car seat on the desk and hands you the workbook before leaving swiftly. He obviously didn’t want to be there for Regina’s outburst.

“This is your fucking fault for mentioning pregnancy you idiot.” She yells. This makes the doll start crying which enrages her more.

“Would you shut up! You’re making him cry.” You whisper shout back. It’s not like you care about it but you wish it would shut up before it gives you a headache.

“Whatever, you’re a single parent this week, good luck.” She shrugs, grabs her bag and leaves you with the crying doll.

Typical.

You pick up the car seat and follow her out. Your car and hers are the last ones in the car park.

You watch her walk away and unlock your door and clip the car seat into the passenger side. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to put it in the back, but it’s not like it’s a real baby.

You put the key in and turn.

The car makes an awful spluttering sound and you see a plume of dark grey smoke from the back window.

The doll is still screaming and you groan, dropping your head on the steering wheel which lets out a long honk.

You hear an engine rumbling behind your car and Regina leans out the side of her jeep.

“Get in loser, I’ll take you home.”

[faithlia]

'But what the fuck is patience?

english is not my first language!

warnings: smut, mean!reader, sarcatisc!reader, tough!matt mean!matt, haters, display, rough sex, degradation, denial of orgasm...

⚠️ The behavior of all characters are immoral and depraved, if you don't feel comfortable, please, don't read!

summary: You and Matt have a no-strings-attached sexual relationship, but when things don't go the way you plan, your provocations go beyond your limits.

part 1. part 2

Ever since you and Matt started this "little game" of casual sex, your performance and grades in college had strangely improved. I mean, you were always the best in the class, but it was a fact that the way Matt fucked you kept you motivated enough, as if his dick was full of dopamine and energy drinks.

Of course, you would never admit that to him. Matt was certainly not the only guy on campus you had fucked during the last semester, but out of all of them, he was the best! Always leaving your pussy sore at the end of each fuck, with that unshaven beard; and that damn smile he gave you after eating you out.

But, despite his incredibly tasty dick, Matt was petulant and petty, and you hated him for it. You hated how much of a jerk and insufferable he was, so your sex was limited to when you both came and each went your separate ways.

In the morning, you went to the empty bleachers of the college with your friends from class to rehearse your seminar presentation. From afar, you could see Matt practicing football with the other players on the team - it was depressing to watch, because he was so bad, you thought.

"Damn, he's getting hotter every day" your best friend, Liz, says. She hands you a notebook full of notes. "Who?" you ask disinterestedly. "Matt Sturniolo."

"The beard makes him look so sexy" your other friend, Tara, comments. And all the others giggle, agreeing with your observation.

Unfortunately for you, it was all true, but you couldn't help but roll your eyes and shake your head slightly in denial.

"Okay, bitches. Let's get back to work, shall we?" You say motivatedly, and all the others groan quietly about having to actually do this stupid seminar.

Minutes later, when no one was paying attention to Matt anymore, you glanced at him unnoticed and could see him tripping over his own feet when he tried to kick the ball. You laughed out loud and everyone looked at you in confusion.

── .✦

It was already night when you were studying for your exams. Luckily for you, your roommate always slept in her idiot boyfriend's dorm, so you had the absolute peace of mind of having the room all to yourself.

Your phone received a message notification.

piece of shit: where are you now?

you: ?

you: in my dorm, idiot.

you: I don't feel like having sex today. Wait until tomorrow so I can fuck your beautiful ass.

You send the message with a smile on your face, knowing very well how much he hates your provocations. You anxiously wait for his harsh response, but before that you hear a knock on the door.

You go to the door and when you open it, Matt appears with an ironic smile on his lips. He was wearing an old sweatshirt and had damp hair.

Tara was right, he looked delicious with a beard.

Before you can say anything, he enters your room, closing the door behind him. "Damn, didn't you read my message?" you ask sarcastically. "Yeah, but I was already at the door. So it would be rude not to knock and not bother you, wouldn't it?" he replies.

He sits comfortably on your bed - as usual - giving you a smug smile. His blue eyes and wet lips gave you the worst of chills. Unfortunately, that pissed off face he made was irresistible.

"I saw you playing today!" you comment, trying to dispel your noisy thoughts.

Matt pokes his cheek with his tongue, raising his eyebrows in surprise "Really?" he asks disinterestedly.

"Really. Yeah!" you affirm. "You suck!" you let out a low laugh, observing his bored face. "I mean, you should stop because you suck so much! You know, sometimes it's good to recognize our flaws, in this case, your flaws...

"Why don't you go fuck yourself?" Matt interrupts you and you bite your lip.

Honestly, Matt found you insufferable, but you were so hot and beautiful that even though you always talked so much shit, he could still ignore all the nonsense you said just so he could fuck you. "You know, you're just as hot as you are annoying. Your parents must pay a lot of people to pretend to like you. Haven't you ever wondered about that?"

Matt smirks and you smile back, wanting to punch him in the face.

"What are you doing?" He looks away at the pile of books on his desk. "Trying to find a cure for your acute stupidity. What do you think I'm doing, huh?" you reply with acid on the tip of your tongue.

Matt rolls his eyes. He always responds to your provocations in kind and you kind of like it. It was a secret; every time you made Matt angry it only made you want to spread your legs for him more.

"Listen." he sighs, as he pulls you by the waist to stand between his legs. "Why don't you shut the fuck up for a second so I can pretend you're not a stupid brat, huh?" Matt caresses your hips over your sweatpants. His head was facing your belly and he couldn't resist the urge to plant chaste kisses on your skin.

Even though it was almost impossible, you didn't give in to the wet kisses. Delicately, you put your two long fingernails on his chin and say: "What? None of your other dumb bitches were available to satisfy you?"

"Believe me, you're not the smartest of them." He laughs softly. Before you can retaliate to the bold comment, Matt pulls your body under him on the bed, rubbing his hard cock against your covered crotch. You scream in surprise. He kisses you with his hand on your neck, running his tongue against yours, having the protruding premise of his lower lip against your upper lip and making you fall apart during the kiss.

Matt knows exactly what to do with you. He leans in more and more so that his cock is pressed against your pussy, doing his best to keep you trapped between him and the soft mattress.

One of his hands lifts your shirt and he can't resist sucking on a nipple - which has a delicate piercing with little stars. He sucks, circling his warm tongue around the piercing, biting gently. "Mmm," you moan loudly, frowning and biting your lip in anguish. Matt knows how sensitive you are because of your new piercings.

He smiles, ignoring your pained reaction. You slap his arm. He sucks on your other nipple, eagerly trying to swallow your entire breast; your breasts weren't that big but the size was perfect to spill into Matt's mouth, and he made sure to tell you that.

He finishes taking off your shirt and throws it on the floor and you do the same with his shirt. You loved feeling his body against yours, but obviously, you would never admit it, not even to yourself.

You run your hands down his back, during the kisses on his lips, and one of yours makes its way to his cock. You grab it under his pants and can feel the hardness that you were so familiar with. Matt separates his lips from yours to moan when you start masturbating him - making movements from bottom to top.

"Shit." He says with his head in the curve of your neck, kissing that part of your skin, moving up to your chin and then your mouth again, until he pulls away, sitting between your legs.

He quickly takes off your pants and panties, then takes off his own pants, looking at your wet pussy in admiration.

You cross your legs because of the sensitivity, but he opens them wide, causing goosebumps to appear on your skin.

At that point, Matt had already been moved by an overwhelming excitement that made you ecstatic. He was rough and arrogant during sex. He always liked to suck your pussy with his mouth full of saliva, circling your clitoris with his soft tongue. Look, Matt was not a patient person, so gentleness was out of the question. He really liked to fuck you from behind, pulling your hair, slapping your ass, squeezing your sensitive breasts and moaning loudly like you were a cock-hungry whore. But, to Matt's dismay, you were not as submissive as he would have liked; your solid idea of ​​fucking was to be on top of him with your hands pressing on his chest, always teasing him with words like: "Is this the best you can do, Matt?" "Shit, baby, I can't feel you right." and that always made him impulsive and irritated.

He hated how talkative and annoying you were, and for him the only way to shut you up was to shove his hard cock down your throat.

Now with dark and hungry eyes, you give Matt a lustful look as he gives your pussy a hot slap, spitting right on your clit, making the saliva run, shoving two fingers inside you. You moan slyly, with doe eyes begging to be fucked.

"Desperate whore. Always wanting a cock to satisfy that tight pussy, aren't you, baby?" he said, still sticking his fingers inside you.

He pulled his fingers out and put them in your mouth for you to suck on - which you did willingly.

Matt skillfully rubbed his tip against your clit, creating a delicious sensation that filled you with hard pleasure. He pulled his fingers out of your mouth roughly, forcing his hand against one of your legs to spread them wide, grunting as he teased his cock wet with pre-cum against your lubricated entrance.

"Fuck, can you fuck me already? I want to watch the new season of Outer Banks today!" you grumbled impatiently, wanting to cum, lifting your body to see the mess Matt was making in your pussy.

He rolled his eyes at your stupid comment. "You better shut the fuck up or I'll leave you without cumming, little slut." He says, slapping your cheek hard, shoving his cock inside you without pretense. Matt thrusts in and out of you hard. He lets out a hiss as he slaps your face again hard, but this time he holds your cheeks tightly, smiling at the vulnerable position you're in.

He keeps slamming his cock inside you, listening to your incessant whimpers. Tired of this position, he turns you roughly against the bed, putting you on all fours. He thrusts his cock back into you slightly, putting both your arms against your back, skidding your face against the mattress.

You let out a series of high-pitched, sly moans, not resisting the urge to scream when Matt thrusts his cock deep inside you. "Yeaaah."

Matt continues his thrusts and the pent-up feeling of cum is exposed as he pulls your body hard, leaving your back against his sweaty chest. Vehemently, Matt grabs your breast with one hand while he uses the other to turn your face to the side and kiss you.

"I-I'm going to cum," you moan desperately into his mouth, barely able to get the words out. "Not before me!" he exclaims against you, grabbing your neck and moving his hands down your mound to your needy clit. Son of a bitch! He teases you to the max by lightly running his hand over your clit, preventing you from having that vicious sensation in your favorite place.

You can't resist putting your anxious fingers there, however Matt slaps your hand hard, leaving a burning sensation.

"I told you I would cum first, fuck." he says in your ear, fucking you mercilessly.

"Please," whimpers escape your fragile lips, as he increases the frequency of his thrusts and you, desperately, slam against his cock. Matt smiles in pleasure when he hears your pleas, restraining himself from cumming too quickly. You pull Matt's hair in protest for him to masturbate you, and once again try to put your hand on your abused pussy, but he is quick and pulls your hand away.

"Please, please, please," you scream in protest, tears streaming down your blushing face.

Each time Matt slammed his cock against your pussy, the sounds of your skin slapping together spread throughout the room.

Matt stopped his shallow teasing of your clit and touched it as you so desired, allowing your pleasure to increase more and more. However, his imminent climax hit him first, making him moan. He came helplessly and without warning inside you, stopping his movements on your clit.

"What?" you say confused, feeling Matt's cum spurt out of you.

Matt wasn't the kind of guy who didn't know how to satisfy a girl, on the contrary, he liked to make sluts cum before him just so he could hear the minute whispers saying: "but what about you, Matt?" just so he could make them suck his dick in return."

Matt doesn't say anything. He pulls out of you causing you an inevitable discomfort.

All that delicious sensation fades from your body and you feel like crying. This isn't the first time Matt has done this to you. You hate it!

He starts to put his "pajamas" back on, completely ignoring you.

"Are you kidding me?" you mumble impatiently. Laying down on the bed with your back, grabbing a blanket to cover yourself.

"I told you I wanted to cum first." He shrugs, finishing putting on his worn-out shirt. "Oh, don't be mad at me, baby," he says in false sympathy. "I'm sure you can hold your own with your fingers!" he teases and you start to cry silently in frustration.

Matt risks a light kiss on your cheek. He smiles, walking to the door, and when he steps out into the hallway of the dorms, he hears the pillow being thrown against the door and a high-pitched scream from you.

₊⊹ soon, the second part.

[alphajocklover]

Genie Glory the Game

(A [Very Late] Trade with @bigwishes. I hope you like it!) 43 followers. Rich Donaldson, also known as TF2Twink on Twitch, had 43 followers.Rich had been streaming for over 3 years now and only had 43 followers. 43 measly followers. It made him feel pathetic. It made him feel like he was useless. Yet at the same time, Rich was incredibly grateful for every one of those followers. 

Rich Donaldson had wanted to become a gaming streamer since he was a kid. It hadn’t really been a real thing until he was a teen, and most people thought he was crazy for thinking he could make money that way. Some people doubted it was a real job, some thought it was too competitive, some thought it was just a dumb idea in general. No matter what the reason, everyone in Rich’s life agreed that Rich wasn’t going to make it as a streamer. Especially his hyper religious, video game hating parents. Still Rich refused to give up. He knew it would be hard, maybe impossible, but he was passionate and felt like he had to follow his dream. That was what everyone in the movies did after all. Rich moved out, cut contact with his parents, went into debt buying the best streaming gear he could… and immediately regretted it. Rich didn’t mind losing contact with his parents. They had never been the most loving people, so he hadn’t really lost much. Except things weren’t working out like they did in the movies. Rich wasn’t making it, and worse than that he wasn’t getting any better at streaming. He was good at the games, so he knew that wasn’t the issue. The issue was… he was incredibly, painfully, horribly shy. Rich didn’t have the confidence that a streamer needed. He could barely get a word out during the stream without starting to awkwardly ramble, and even when he did he came off as awkward and weird. He wasn’t just unconfident, he was a downright nervous wreck. Still he didn’t give up. He couldn’t after everything he had thrown away to get this chance… all the sleepless nights working part time jobs to stay above water… he was in too deep. So he kept going “Hey chat! S-so t-today…” Rich took a deep breath, trying his best not to ramble “T-today I’m going to be playing a new game. I-it’s not very well known, but i-it looked cool and I’ve heard a lot of people are playing it… S-so let's get into ‘Genie Glory the Game!” Rich said, trying to be excited. Barely anyone was watching, and it was getting hard to pretend he wasn’t incredibly depressed, but he kept smiling. Genie Glory was a pretty simple game with a simple premise that had been baffling gamers for months. It was a pretty simple idea based on a classic scenario. You play a random guy who has discovered a genie’s lamp and now has 3 wishes. You make a wish by typing it into the computer, and the genie grants the wish, but usually in some twisted way that is accompanied by a pixelated animation of the player's fate. The goal is to get through all 3 wishes alive. What made the game so popular was that no one had beat it yet. Whatever AI the game used was incredibly clever and strangely creative, and to make it even more difficult, the game only allowed you to play it once. Popular streamers, actually geniuses, and even philosophers hadn’t been able to beat the game, so Rich knew beating it would make him famous.

“Ok chat. I-it’s time for our first wish… And I’m taking suggestions…” Rich said. Rich wanted to beat the game, but… he wasn’t sure how to beat this game, so he’d take all the help he could get. A few suggestions actually came across the screen ‘BasedBro69: Wish for your muscles to grow!’

‘GenieGay33: No way, that's the way to open ended! The Genie will make him grow until he pops or something’

‘MissTaken27: That's such a basic idea. Might as well ask him to wish to be a frat boy or something.’

Rich laughed at this. He knew most of his followers' usernames by heart, but BasedBro69 was new. Still the conversation he had started was kind of funny, and he figured… why not? “Ok then, why not! Lets make me a frat boy!” He said, snickering as he typed in his computer. He tried to be as specific as possible to avoid the spell being twisted “‘I wish I was an attractive, stereotypical frat boy.”

Rich laughed as he watched the pixelated version of himself grow muscular, his clothing changing to a tank top and backwards cap. He watched as the other version of him rushed a frat. Rich was certain something would go wrong, afterall he knew from first hand experience that hazing could get fucking intense, but surprisingly his character survived and got through the first wish without any incident. Rich grinned widely. Most people never even made it through the first wish, but he, a relative nobody, had managed! He stood up straighter as he watched people start to flood into the stream. He checked the chat happily. ‘GenieMan33: He actually made it with that wish? I’ll never understand this game, but good for you!’ ‘MisterRichD27: Kind of an ironic wish considering you are a frat boy. No offense.’ ‘BasedBro69: I fucking knew that would work bro! You can do this!’

Rich blushed slightly at MisterRichD27’s comment, and his flirty name. While he didn’t tend to think of himself that way, he was technically a frat boy. He had joined one after heading to college in the hopes of finding some friends. His frat brothers could be… kind of obnoxious, and very stereotypical, but they had helped him come out of his shell somewhat and even get in shape. He was still fairly shy, but he never would have gotten this far in college or with his streaming if it wasn’t for them. He chuckled at the chat, slightly embarrassed “I’ll admit, that was a weird wish, but hey, it worked so who cares!” Rich said cheerily “Ok, so what's the next wish going to be? I’m trusting you on this chat!” Rich said with what he hoped was a charming wink. ‘GenieMan33: Maybe something basic like money? That doesn’t usually work but you seem to be on a hot streak.’

‘BasedBro69: No way bro. He only gets to play once. Wish for something like fucking confidence or something. Something fun!’

‘MisterRichD27: IDK, Basedbro69 was right last time. Maybe you should wish for confidence?’ Rich shrugged. He could think up even more ways that this could go wrong, but this game had never seemed to work on logic in any of the videos he watched to prepare for this. So with a grin, he typed in his second wish “I wish I had the kind of cocky confidence that ladies love.” he said with a chuckle. He hoped it would be obvious that it was a joke, since his Twitch username, FortnightOtter44, made it obvious he was gay. He watched as the little version of him grew a big head, quite literally. Rich was worried this was leading to some type of game over, but his head deflated, his muscles grew, and a bunch of pixelated girls in bikinis ran up to the pixelated him. Rich grinned wide and tried not to cuss in celebration, not wanting to get demonetized (again). He had fucking done it! He fucking got past wish 2! He smirked as he watched the chat explode as more people tuned in ‘GenieStud33: Fuck yeah! RDH fucking did it! Knew you had it in you bro!’

‘MissRichD27: RDH is the best gamer ever! And the hottest! DM me!’

BasedBro69: HELL YEAH! You can do this bro!’ Rich, known as RDH to his fans, or RichDaHunk on Twitch, smirked, as he saw the comments roll in. He fucking knew he could get this game. He may not have been the most popular streamer on twitch, but he was a fucking good gamer and a total stud. He flexed his biceps, getting the chat riled up again in a frenzy of lust and admiration. Rich didn’t bother to look at the chat this time. He gave a smarmy, cocky smirk at the camera “I know what to put in next bros. I’m gonna wish for something fucking inevitable.” he said cockily.

He quickly typed in “I wish I was the most popular gaming streamer on Twitch”, and watched with a practiced cool confidence as the pixelated version of him gained millions of followers. The chat exploded with awe and wonder as what Rich had always known was going to happen, happened. He had won the game. He flexed his muscles for the stream, celebrating with his 43 million followers. He didn’t understand why they were all shocked. He was the coolest, hottest, douchiest gamer on twitch. Of course he fucking won!

[saberlight1]

— can’t help fallin’ in love, coriolanus snow

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

warnings: slight tbosas spoilers, mentions of trauma, depression, standard ballad of songbirds and snakes warnings.

authors note: another one!! i am a goddamn writing machine these days lmao. i wanted to write something lovey dovey about my boy, i think i may have gone a lil overboard but this app is seriously lacking coryo fluff fics. i hope you enjoy soft coryo as much as i do! <3

masterlist

Coriolanus sat with an emotionless look on his face as he sat on the rocky train that was taking him to his worst nightmare. He was being shipped off to District 12 for cheating to help you win the games. He didn’t regret that, he never would.

But this was not the ideal outcome he’d imagined.

At least he wouldn’t be completely alone— after all, he was going to your district. He just wished it was under different circumstances.

“You know, I thought I might find you here,” Sejanus’ words caused him to turn around immediately, breaking him from his thoughts. “Sitting all by yourself.” He teased, walking into the train cart Coriolanus was currently in.

“Sejanus, what’re you doing—” He stood up, his eyebrows knitted together in concern and annoyance.

“What do you think?” He cut him off with a scoff. “After what I did in the arena? My father had to buy me the Academy a brand new gym just so I could get my diploma.” He put his bag down. “He begged me to stay, but once I found out where they were sending you, I couldn’t get out fast enough.” He admitted with a sigh, moving to sit down. “Barely made the train ‘cause of this stupid knee, but it’s okay, they gave me some morphling for the pain.”

Coriolanus looked at him with judgment. “You volunteered for this?”

“I figured if I get through basic and then maybe I’d become a medic.” He beamed. “Maybe make a real difference out here… just like you said.” Sejanus’ gaze turned downward. “They never told us what you did,”

“I cheated.” He answered, shamelessly. “To save Y/N from the snakes.” Sejanus’ nodded slowly, understanding where his friend was coming from. After a beat of silence, Coriolanus’ tearful eyes met his. “Do you think they killed her?”

“Why would they risk it?” Sejanus questioned with furrowed brows. “She was a big hit, if there is a games next year, they’re probably gonna invite her to sing at the opening ceremony.” He joked with a smile.

Coriolanus didn’t laugh. “You know, when you came in, I was weighing the merits of suicide.” He half-joked, his smile not meeting his eyes.

“When we’re about to be free?” Sejanus shot back. “When the girl you risked everything for might be waiting for you at the end of this track?” At his words, Coriolanus’ throat ran dry, the tears returning to his eyes. The possibility that you might be waiting not even crossing his mind. Sejanus looked at him with a knowing glint in his eye. “My friend, don’t give them the satisfaction. Your life has just begun. You’re gonna do great— We’re both gonna do great.”

Sejanus’ words still rung in his ears, even if they were spoken all those months ago.

Even now, when you were delicately tucked under his arm, your head buried in his neck as you slept soundly. That conversation seemed to take home in his mind, never leaving.

You were, in-fact, waiting for him, and the moment you saw him you ran into his arms, and he cherished you every day from that moment. The pair of you spent as much time together as you could, and you loved every second of it. As did he.

You were like a star of brightness in his darkness— lighting up places he didn’t even know existed and granting them with your warmth. And now that you weren’t fighting for your life, he got to learn so much about you.

He learned about your quirks, your personality, your smile, all of it. You learned the same about him.

But nights like these where he couldn’t find sleep and was left up alone, the silence and ringing of the bugs outside consumed him, the man getting caught up in the ropes that was his thoughts.

He often didn’t believe he deserved you, that you were too pure for him. You were gifted to him by mistake, but he was too selfish to let you go.

And, God, you never wanted him too.

Coriolanus had a bad habit of not speaking his mind, and bottling his emotions until they bubbled over, everything coming out in one out burst of rage and sadness. You didn’t blame him, you never did. Instead, you picked him up from the floor and held him until he calmed down.

He had never experienced the type of love you gave him, and it scared the shit out of him. He didn’t know how to return it, he wasn’t good with kind of stuff. You taught him things everyday, though.

You snuggled deeper into his neck, his uneven breathing causing you, a light sleeper, to wake up. Or, according to your theories, you were so interlinked with Coryo that you could sense when he was overthinking.

You left a small patch of kisses on his throat, cracking your sleepy eyes open to confirm your suspicions— the boy was staring off into space, not a drop of sleep in his eyes.

“Coryo,” You whispered, leaning up to kiss his jaw softly. He turned at your acts, his eyes meeting yours as his previous frown was replaced with that lovey smile you adored. “Can’t sleep?”

He shook his head, temporarily pushing you off of him in order for him to turn on his side to properly look at you. Once he got situated, he pulled you back into his chest, a giggle leaving your lips.

Your fingers came up to knead through his messy platinum locks. “What’s on your mind, baby?”

His eyes fluttered closed for a moment. “Nothing.. it’s just, sometimes I think you may be too good for me.” He admitted slowly.

Your eyebrows shot up. “Coryo, if anything, you’re too good for me. Remember, honey, I’m ‘District Trash’.” You laughed, repeating the words Lucky Flickermen had said about you before wrapping your arms around his neck and leaving kisses all over his face. “You must be a fool if you can’t see how in love I am with you. You are more than good to me, I couldn’t imagine my life with anyone else.” You promised, continuing to leave kisses on your lover’s smiling face with every word you spoke.

His arms wrapped around your waist, hugging you closer to him. “I love you,” He whispered in your ear, beginning to leave his own kisses on your neck and jaw.

Butterflies creeped up your spine at his confession, a love-sick smile tugging on your lips as you leaned up to really kiss him.

His hands came up to cup your face as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, the kiss only being further fueled with your burning passion for each other. Your hands slipped back into his locks for purchase as the kiss grew more needy. You let out a whimper against his mouth when he began to kiss you harder, angling your body back to deepen it further.

He smirked against your lips at your noises, before pulling back for air. His thumb swiped back and forth across your cheekbone as you both stared at each other, love strong in the both of your eyes.

“I love you, Coryo.” You whispered back, before taking your spot back in his arms. “Get some sleep, my love.” You left another kiss on his throat, the boy hugging you somehow closer, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“Thank you,” He softly spoke, leaning up to blow out the candle you had lit earlier.

“Always,”

[getmeoutofhell]

Clowns in the Slasher House

warnings: clowns, body parts & cussing!

a/n: i’ve been wanting to do this so i hope you enjoy this! leave comments and request.

they all have their own separate rooms and floor in house.

you guessed it, they live in the basement. the basement has to be cleaned every damn friday, because if not, it’s gonna smell like ass and dodo.

now, let’s talk about who’s in the slasher house that’s a clown:

art the clown

penny

pennywise

the little girl

art & the little girl are the messiest out of all of them, and i stand by that. i mean, penny is very, very questionable, but art is more questionable.

sometimes they all play hide and seek, and invite you the play as well. penny is the best at it, since he can literally disappear if he so chooses to. but you had to tell him not to because that’s cheating.

pennywise is usually gone so he doesn’t join often with you guys. but when he does, he’s not the best at the game, but definitely not the worst.

art sometimes uses his hands to cover his face, pretending that he’s hiding. you think it’s funny and adorable, and you sometimes play along with it, pretending you can’t see him.

“oh dangit, i have no idea where art could be. i guess i’ll go look upstairs.” you see him giggle like a school girl before going up stairs.

the little girl likes you, and she’s more comfortable around you & art than anyone else in the house. she likes to tug on your pants leg if she wants something. you still haven’t thought of a name for her yet, but you’re working on it.

another thing about art is that you have to remind him to take his dirty ass clown shoes off when he enters the house. they’re covered with mud and other shit (literally) so it’s a constant thing you have to do to protect the rugs and carpet in the house.

you don’t have to worry about the other adult clowns and their shoes because they can make the dirt disappear in a blink of an eye.

art & the little girl make a lot of weird gifts and passes them to everyone. sometimes it’s a dead persons liver, sometimes it’s someone’s big toe that art collected. you’ll never know what you may get with him.

weekly showers. i don’t care how much art fusses his stanky ass is getting in that damn shower. every time you make art get in the shower, the other clowns laugh at him. arts reaction is to just flip them off, so that’s entertaining to watch.

penny likes to scare the others all the time. you can never get used to it because it’s always something different with him all the time. pennywise sometimes joins in on pennys little pranks but often penny does it to pennywise.

water gun fights!! especially since it’s hot out, it’s the perfect time to have some fun outside in the sun. just don’t forget the sun screen. i don’t know if the clowns would wear swim trunks but maybe you can convince them.

how can i forget the board game nights!! well art…he doesn’t like the board games much. but when he does play, he cheats. well, try’s to at least.

let’s say you’re playing uno and you’re sitting by art. you see out the corner of your eye art peek over next to you at your cards. “art don’t you dare.” he smiles before looking away.

the little girl is smarter than most people realize. she knows a lot, and does a lot. she knows when you’re depressed and sometimes will sit next to you as a type of comfort.

they like to play tag and run around the house every damn where and tear up shit.

*glass shatters* “oh my god what broke now?” you say annoyed.

should i do a part 2?

[morganitering]

Because I'm the Weakest II: The Women Who Never Won

Pairings/character dynamics: Satosugu, Shoko and reader, Nanami and reader, implied shoko x utahime

Contains and warnings: DARK FIC/DEAD DOVE fem!reader, Suicidal ideation, rape aftermath, referenced rape (not written out in this chap), depression, alcohol abuse, misogyny & sexism, internalized sexism, sexual harassment on minors done by minors, victim blaming (thoughts), self harm, angst, hurt & comfort, I call noncon with the official word for it

Word count: ~9,6k

Summary: There's certain desperation when you try to keep your head above water. You were drowning and all you wanted to do was to forget, the weight on your shoulders unbearable. Despite the cards you were dealt with you found yourself among allies as the web of untold memories started to unfold.

A/N: Hey! Yall waited long for this, sorry about that. I have no idea how to tag this but I'll just do it somehow, bc this is a tricky chapter. Here yall get to dive deeper in the stuff that has gone down before the events that took place in 1st chap and get a hug from Shoko. This is hopefully the last installment of this. Read the tags carefully as always and make informed decisions based on that and take care of yourself. Shit can get heavy, but I'm trying to do this in good taste.

Read on ao3 part I

Shoko Ieiri had worked a long time with people who suffered. She had seen it all, limbs cut off, even the toughest of sorcerers reduced to crying messes as they practically had their innards falling to the floor. There’s something utterly horrifying watching a patient, no – a friend scream in pain when even her skills were not enough. Funerals came and went, the white sheet thrown over the deceased on the operation table in the same routine way she’d change her linens. Nothing really shocked her. 

That’s what she liked to think. 

Your visits have been more frequent. It started with bruises and sprained ankles. Then it was broken bones that soon turned to puncture wounds, your clothes sticky with deep red and dirt. When she asked about it, you laughed it off saying it’s nothing, just a silly little mishap, “I was too reckless in the heat of the moment.”  But your eyes were empty, your words hollow like a dead tree. Of course Shoko did her job, without asking too much. You’re an adult and you’ll speak about it if you want to, right? Her job was to keep you alive. Your job was to exorcise curses. 

Shoko and you had been close too, hanging out with the two men, but at some point in high school she had withdrawn from the group. Gojo and Geto had tried to keep in touch with her in adulthood, inviting her as well to spend time together as the four of them, but she had always declined, smoothly changing their relationship to acquaintances at best. She heard enough of the despicable men from you. The only times she was in direct contact with Gojo and Geto was work related and god how she hoped that it would stay that way. She’ll play that pretend game almost happily. 

Shoko closed the office door the day turning to evening, sundown coloring the city in hues of orange and yellow. She held onto her little black purse, thankfully it was friday. A man stood on the long corridor, standing upright as if he did not belong here. He looked indifferent, almost bored.

“Nanami.” 

“Ieiri.” 

They greeted each other with a curt nod. 

“So what brings you here? You seem healthy enough,” Shoko asked as they walked to the open parking lot, only a few cars in sight. The warm summer sun caressed her cheeks, wind making her long hair flow in waves.

“I think she’s going through something,” Nanami stated as a matter of fact talking about you. He and you had gone on missions together, but something about you wasn’t right. He had seen the way you clutch your weapon, throw yourself at the enemy recklessly almost as if you had a death wish. It’s like you waited for your end. 

“No shit.” Shoko chuckled amused. It was as clear as a day if you just had eyes on yourself. “Why do you care?” 

“I’ve seen enough people spiral to know where it leads. You’re a healer, can’t you help?” His voice was thoughtful, not betraying a hint of emotions. 

“I can’t help a person who doesn’t want it,” Shoko said. “But I’ll try to figure something out.” 

“And that is enough. Thank you.” 

***

You hated meetings and rarely took part in them if you could avoid them. You had not met Gojo or Geto after the unfortunate night. If there were some work related things where there was a possibility to meet either of the men, you requested to be part of them remotely or that someone would just forward the key points. But after doing this for a few months Yaga had sent you a passive-aggressive email writing that it is absolutely mandatory for you to show yourself at least once in a while. You didn’t bother to answer him with anything other than a polite see you there.

Honestly you were tired. Your whole body ached in overexertion. Sleep escaped from you, ran a marathon around the block never stopping at your house, and every time you seemed to catch a break, hazy images you rather forbid being real filled your vision. Your eyebags told a story of exhaustion, your body shrinking in every possible way away. You went to see a doctor, not Shoko, just some normal practitioner from the private sector that you ended up paying yourself sick for. 

The doctor gave you pills to help you with sleep. He asked you if you were stressed or going through some sorts of crisis. You answered with a diligent no and explained that you’ve always had issues with sleep, but you were otherwise okay. He looked at you, raising his eyebrow in suspicion, the glasses on his head hung on his nose by a thread. He decided to believe you as he wrote the prescription, but insisted you took home pamphlets about depression and crisis hotlines. 

You tried the pills. You did fall asleep, but only after a panic attack wrecked through your body as the effect of the medication forced you into a deep slumber. The pills made you feel your pulse in your whole body. “It’s a quite strong product, previously used to treat psychosis, but nowadays it’s for patients with severe insomnia. Take it one hour before sleep. The effect might be really sudden.”  

When you woke up you decided to throw them away. It’s better to not to sleep if it meant that you’d go free from the horrors of the night you had experienced. 

The huge meeting table sprawled out horizontally and was able to sit around fifteen people in it. It had several small electric outlets for computers and tablets. Light poured in from the big windows, the blinds only halfway done. You stared at the weird scribbling on the white board that Principal Yaga was wiping furiously, muttering things about how students shouldn’t be let in this room under any circumstance since they can’t differentiate which markers are okay to use on it. 

You exchanged pleasantries with him. The room was devoid of people since you were too early. You swung your leather bag on the back of the upholstered office chair and sat yourself down.

Shoko walked in and her face lit up a little bit when she saw you sitting there. It was subtle, you thought that you were maybe the only one who could differentiate that expression from her. She sat next to you, a faint hint of neroli wrapping you to its calming aroma. 

Next came Meimei and then Utahime who came running to you two giving a happy hug to Shoko. They were so cute together, you thought to yourself as you fidgeted with your slightly too big shoes, constantly removing them and pushing them back to your feet. People don’t usually like small talk, but nonetheless the group chatted with each other. They had to, because it’s polite and you were coworkers. You thought that small talk was easy. The script of it was burnt to your brains for the rest of your life. You get to keep people at an arm's length and keep up appearances, so what’s there not to like? 

A familiar blonde man stood in the doorway. You checked your phone for the time. Only five minutes before the official start. Yuki also appeared after Nanami.  

“Hello,” he said and nodded at you as he sat himself next to you. Your whole body stiffened around him. It was hard to look him in the eyes and even harder to work missions with.

It was ten minutes past the official time when the meeting was supposed to start. 

“Sorry we are late.” Two men marched in the room with confident strides and took their place in front of you facing you, that was sitting in between Nanami and Shoko, Utahime next to the doctor. Suguru sat down next to Yuki leaving a space for Satoru who had Meimei next to him. 

Hearing Suguru’s voice made your skin crawl. 

“It’s fine,” Yaga said and looked over his shoulder to look at the white screen he had pulled down earlier with only a blue screen reflecting on the fabric. “I can’t seem to get this work anyway,” he mumbled. 

“Do you need help?” Suguru walked over to the man struggling over his laptop. “Have you checked the HDMI-cable?” 

“Of course I have, I just don’t understand why it won't work. We have Ijichi remote today,” he muttered partially to himself.  

“Let me.” 

You sat fidgeting on your chair focusing on everything else than the two men and their presence that suffocated you. If you were a candle they’d be snuffing you out but not properly, no, that would be too kind. They’d always let enough air in so that you’d never be completely put out. 

“Hello to you girls.. and Nanami,” Satoru flashed a playful grin at the four of you. Your head jerked involuntarily to look at the man. Thank god he has a habit of covering his eyes, but somehow that made him even worse. 

“Hello. How are you?” Nanami nodded politely. 

“I’m well. Hopefully the work isn’t stressing you out too much.” Satoru’s smile widened. 

“Speaking of work, I’ve heard that you and her have started doing missions together,” Satoru nudged his head towards you as he spoke directly to Nanami. “I actually green lighted the idea of sorcerers working more together. It’s good to practice teamwork and I put in good words for the two of you, since you compliment each other with the techniques you have. ” Satoru moved his head to look your way as he drew out his words in a way that you’d be sure to catch the dual meaning.

The wall flashed a few times showing the computer screen and it’s default wallpaper for only a moment and after that went back to blue. 

“An idea that I actually can get behind,” Nanami said agreeably. 

Your eye twitched. 

“Really? That was your doing?” You barely hid the anger of your voice. One more push and you’d pour your life savings on an amoral hitman, not that you’d believe that anyone could finish him off. It was a thought just for you so you could at least think about being mean in your own petty way. 

“Not a fan of working in groups of two? How about in groups of three?” 

“You fucking piece of-” 

“Okay I think it’s working now,” Yaga put his hands together straightening himself properly. Suguru walked over to Satoru, slightly shaking his head before he sat down. You heard Utahime’s quiet “okayy..” whispered in the awkward silence. 

“Unfortunately principal Gakuganji wasn’t able to make it today, he’s sick or something.”

You heard Gojo scoff audibly. 

“Try to respect him.” Yaga shot a glare in the young teacher’s way. 

“Ijichi and Nitta have gathered data about the hotspots of cursed activity,” he continued and opened up the window to teams only to be greeted by a tired looking black haired man in a suit. The background behind him was red, it looked like some type of wallpaper and small paintings covered the walls. You reckoned it was a hotel room. Or a motel, you really could not tell. 

“Ijichi, do you hear me? Would you like to take over?” Yaga’s voice boomed louder as if he wasn’t already near his computer. 

The grainy picture of the tired man smiling uncomfortably stayed still a little too long to be taken as a real time reaction to Yaga’s question. 

“I hear you. Sorry, the connection here is a bit bad.” Ijichi’s voice echoed in the office room. The picture of a slideshow appeared on the wall, making Ijichi’s face smaller. 

The map of Tokyo loomed on the wall as everyone stared at it intensely, more or less dozing off. Some parts of it had big red circles on them and Ijichi explained the way these places were having exceptionally heavy activity. He reckoned that partially the rise in activity tied to the sorcerers working more missions together leaving less people available. Ijichi also showed statistics comparing the effectiveness of sorcerers based in Tokyo and Kyoto. 

You were about to lose your mind, your body still pumping adrenaline after the conversation with Gojo. Everyone else seemed to be bored, oblivious to your struggle. Satoru had yawned at least three times in the last ten minutes, Shoko and Utahime were both interested in their nails. Even Suguru looked tired and he was pretty good at hiding his thoughts. The only ones who did not look outwardly dead inside were Yaga and Nanami. 

“Thank you Ijichi for your hard work,” Yaga said and Ijichi nodded smiling. The pop up of the slideshow vanished from the screen leaving Ijichi’s face in a huge resolution looming onto the wall. 

“We are going to take in account the effects of pairing up sorcerers. I’m not entirely in charge of how long this trial will take,” Yaga said. “Ieiri has this trial affected the health care aspect in any way?” 

Shoko cleared her throat tapping open the ipad in front of her, her nails making a satisfying click click sound. 

“The injuries have lessened,” she started. That’s good, you thought. “But the severity has increased,” she said with a serious face.

“Why is that?” Principal scrunched his eyebrows together. 

“In my professional opinion it is due to people being more brazen when having a partner. This can be seen especially in lower grade sorcerers, who are prone to believing that they are invincible when someone backs them up.” Everyone had turned to look at the doctor who played with her hair idly as she spoke. 

“And the second grade and up?”

“It happens less. But there are some, even first grade sorcerers, who are accident prone,” Shoko said and quickly looked at you, not long enough for others to pick up on that she was speaking about you.

Gojo’s phone rang in the middle of the conference. He left the room with an apology and never came back. Relief and anger ignited in you playing tug of war in your heart as your eyes followed him bitterly.

“I think this is all. I’ll send everyone the upcoming jobs, but if no one has anything to say, I think we can conclude this meeting here,” Yaga said, the choir of thank yous and goodbyes filling the room. 

You stretched yourself, happy to be on your feet again. 

“Hey, can we talk?” Nanami tried to get your attention. 

You stood in the room that was quickly emptying out of people. Shoko awkwardly hung around in a small distance from you and Nanami, trying to pretend that she wasn’t listening to your conversation. 

“I don’t entirely understand the conversation between you and Gojo, but if I have somehow disrespected you I offer my deepest apologies.” Nanami’s voice was soft. Your heart ached as you realized how bad your words must have appeared to him. 

“I’m so sorry. It’s not about you. You’ve done nothing..” You trailed off as you saw the tall curse eating man walk outside with a sly smile on his lips.

“That’s a relief but if I may be so blunt, I have a hunch that there is something bothering you,” Nanami said. 

You looked at him and chewed your lower lip nervously. This was all their fault. If they had not done what they did, you would not be in this position. The least they could have done is to keep the names of people you know out of their mouths. 

“I’m sorry to leave you hanging like this, but can we finish this conversation later?” You  hurried past him, only hearing Nanami mumble the word ‘sure’ like a kicked puppy and you said goodbye to Shoko agreeing on staying in touch with her.

The corridor was almost empty as you walked through the school building frantically searching for that bastard of a man. Your footsteps echoed on the wood as you arrived at a not so well known exit of the building. Geto stood in front of the dual doors, half heartedly pushing it open as he furiously wrote something on his phone. 

You yelled out his name, but he did not bother to react to you. You closed in on the man that was still standing back towards you. Anger surged in you as adrenaline made you braver than what you normally would be. You were supposed to just grab the ends of his hair that were sprawled across his back, but in the heat of the moment your impulse control had another lapse as you kept on raising your hand. A fist closed around the bun that had been carefully crafted on his scalp and you dug your fingers around the hair tie and then yanked, hard. 

“What the hell are you doing?!” He turned around stepping out of the doorway letting it close properly with a thump and he closed the distance between you for good. His eyes shot daggers at you. 

“You did not pay attention to me.” You shook your hand out of the spare strands that were stuck on your palm and offered the small hair tie back to him. 

“Well you got it now,” he hissed. “You can keep that as a souvenir. I don’t want anything that a filthy bitch like you has touched,” he said, the calm composure nowhere in sight. 

A filthy bitch? Really? Then maybe you should break up with Satoru if this is your deal breaker.. That’s what you wanted to say, but you held back your tongue. 

Geto took a deep breath, calming himself down, slipping on the mask that you were more used to seeing. He put his phone back in his pocket.

“What do you want?” 

“You told me,” you started, tears threatening to flow over. “You told me that I can just leave and do whatever I want. Why do you keep tormenting me? Why do you let Gojo do what he does?” Your voice broke as you started crying openly. You hated it, it made you weak. No. You were weak. 

“Firstly, I’m not his guardian. He can do what he wants.” He sounded like a smartass. 

“Second of all, never. And I repeat. Never, lay a hand on me ever again, especially on my hair.” You rolled your eyes. 

Of course it was the hair that ticked him off completely. It was his crown, the only thing he had ever been able to take care of besides Satoru. Suguru loved to flaunt himself as the calm one, the kind one, but the exterior had always had some cracks in it. No amount of paint was able to hide the rotten wall behind it. 

“I can forgive your outburst at Satoru’s, but now that you’re in your right mind, you won’t get second chances.” 

“I don’t want ‘second chances’. I want you to leave me the fuck alone so I can do my job,” you yelled at him. 

“Lower your voice. Or do you want to air out all the dirty laundry for everyone?” Geto hushed you. 

“It’s not my ‘laundry’, it’s fucking yours!” You roared and tears fell down your cheeks blurring your vision. Your face felt hot as it got wrapped in the wrath of your words. 

Geto did not answer you, instead he chose to stare you down, not moving at all as if he was a statue. He looked like a child throwing a tantrum when things did not go his way, his face contorting to a sneer that could challenge any rich spoiled brat. You panted and wiped your face with the rough backside of your palm. 

“Move.”

“Ladies first,” he snickered childishly and kicked open the heavy door with his foot as he stepped slightly to the side. God this man hangs out too much with Gojo. 

As you left the school grounds barely holding your breakdown away, there was one figure in the corridors hugging the wall near the exit, clutching onto her purse. 

***

SHOKO’S MEMORIES, 2006

“Truth or dare?” Satoru asked, popping the pink bubblegum in the air, sucking the sticky material back in his mouth to chew on loudly. 

“Truth,” Shoko said, placing another cigarette in her mouth. She smoked especially heavily when she was drinking. 

Satoru had managed to bring a whole six pack of beer to the picnic whereas Suguru had found a travel size vodka bottle from his parents. Shoko had brought a package of different berries and salty crackers with her. 

“If you could have any technique in the world, which one would you have?” Satoru asked. He looked at the clear blue sky and the way the summer breeze pushed on the white clouds. 

Shoko played with the corner of the blanket as she thought deeply about his question. She stared at the shoes she had placed on the grass and the manicure on her toes that Utahime had insisted on putting on her. 

“I think I’d keep this one,” she smiled wistfully. 

“Really? You wouldn’t want my powers?” Satoru looked at her tilting his head to the side. He spat out the chewing gum and placed it on the plastic lid that belonged to the packaging of berries. He did not like it when things ran out of flavor, always searching for something more. 

“No. I don’t envy you at all. I just want a happy life and that’s all” Shoko answered his gaze, with a gentle smile. “Besides, I like the way I am and I suppose I can help people like this,” she added. 

Satoru hummed. He was clearly dissatisfied with the answer. 

He did not exactly know why. 

“Satoru, that's sad. You should ask something fun,” Suguru pointed out and took a sip from the beer can. 

The three of them sat on a grassy hill that had a pretty decent view of the city and the park below it. Shoko leaned against the huge tree behind her back. The cicadas were performing their own concert with the hum of motorways working as their orchestra.  

“You figure out better questions then,” Satoru pouted, but wasn’t actually hurt. 

“Isn’t it my turn to ask though?” 

Shoko looked in the distance watching closely how a woman jogged with her shiba inu, her ponytail swishing in the same rhythm as the chord of her headphones. Both men nodded slightly out of sync. 

“Satoru truth or dare?” 

“Truth.” 

“Who’s the hottest person you know?” Her eyes twinkled teasingly. 

“Waka Inoue of course. She’s sexy as hell!” Satoru slapped his hand on his heart as if he was saluting. 

“Really? You still have a crush on her?” Suguru questioned. It was his turn to pout. “Am I not enough?” 

“Baby you’re plenty, but you can’t replace a huge rack,” Satoru’s voice was steady as if he was talking about the most important thing in the whole world. 

“I can’t argue with that.” Suguru sighed defeatedly, his shoulders slumping down dramatically. 

“Ugh. I shouldn’t have asked that. Both of you are so weird and gross about women,” Shoko grimaced regretting her decisions and lifted the cigarette to her mouth as if to cover the bad taste of Satoru’s words. 

The man in sunglasses ignored the criticizing words. “Suguru. Truth or dare?” 

“Dare.” 

“I dare you to share this,” Satoru lifted up a huge strawberry. “Like in Lady and the Tramp with Shoko,” he referred to the scene where the two dogs shared a spaghetti meal, eventually kissing. 

“That’s too small!” Shoko protested immediately, shaking her head. The idea of doing that with Suguru made her feel iffy. 

“I’m game if she is,” Suguru said and offered his palm to Satoru who plopped the berry in his hands. 

Shoko had a nervous giggle come out of her. 

“C’mon, it’s just a game. You can always let go after like one bite. This is truth or dare afterall,” Satoru coaxed. 

“Fine. But I won’t kiss you, not even a peck.” Shoko established her own rule and rolled her eyes. She put out the cigarette on the grass and left the butt there. 

“We’ll see about that,” Suguru laughed and picked at the stem that got thrown over next to the chewed up gum. 

He awkwardly came closer to the young female student and placed the bigger end between his lips. He looked silly, the red end peeking out of his mouth. Suguru attempted at mouthing the words ‘come closer’, but neither Satoru or Shoko understood his words but the context clue carried the point to Shoko. 

She got on her knees sitting on top of her legs and straightened herself out. Suguru was way taller than her, even when he sat. Her face approached Suguru’s who had a pink tint on his cheeks from the alcohol he had drank.  

She opened her mouth and barely bit down on the smaller end, her tongue touching the bumpy texture of the strawberry. 

“Ready. Set. Go!” Satoru exclaimed, motioning finger guns happily. His gaze was completely glued on his two friends. 

Suguru closed his eyes and he started to carefully nibble, closing dangerously on Shoko’s lips. She bit quickly, not really tasting anything and began to pull away in hopes of Suguru calling it quits too. 

Unfortunately she wasn’t fast enough. The last bits of strawberry fell down on Shoko’s lap when Suguru pressed his lips against hers, a faint red trail dripping on her chin. She didn’t move and her eyes widened in shock. Shoko didn’t know what to do so she just held her hands on her lap. 

Suguru pet gently behind the girl’s head kissing her motionless lips. His hand trailed down to her neck and all the way to her shoulder. Shoko felt the sweet taste in her mouth mixing with the alcohol, stranger’s saliva and nicotine as Suguru dragged his hand to the mound of her breast. The warmth emanating from his palm was enough to bring her back to reality and Shoko pushed the bigger guy off of her. 

“Why did you do that?” she snapped and crossed her arms. 

“Oh don’t get angry now. Have a drink and chill out.” Satoru sighed. He shuffled awkwardly and placed the almost empty tote bag on his lap and grabbed a new beer can from there. Shoko narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but did not want to make room for any weird thoughts that would imply even weirder things. “It’s just a joke.” 

“This is not the first time you take jokes too far.”

Shoko looked away from the two boys, disappointment turning into an ache in her heart and wiped her chin clean from the strawberry. She slipped on the ballerinas laying on the ground. 

“Seriously? You’re leaving because of this?” Suguru tilted his head, his voice defensive.

Shoko threw her cigarettes and lighter in her own purse checking the blanket for other stuff she had. 

“Yeah, I am. I’m not having fun anymore.” Her voice was cold as she was attempting to hide the nervous tremble in her body and almost jumped up throwing the bag on her shoulder. She turned around, once again crossing her hands against her chest as if to protect herself and started walking.

“Hey! Don’t you want your blanket with you?” Satoru yelled after her. The two guys sat on the quilt completely bamboozled. 

“Keep it! I don’t need it!” 

She didn’t eat strawberries for the rest of the summer. 

***

“Hey you really should sing this one!” Shoko laughed as she scrolled through the song list.

“Whaat? No that’s not even funny,” you laughed and slapped her arm gently. 

“Is it really not? Or are you just a bore?” Shoko taunted getting ready to put the song on.

“Can we sing something from this?” You pointed at the category called 2000’s hits. 

“I’ll pick something at random and you’re just going to deal with it,” Shoko laughed clearly tipsy too after the multiple drinks you both had drank. 

The disco ball was spinning around the small room painting the walls in hues of blue, red and green. Nanami sat on the couch nursing his whiskey as he stared off into space. The upbeat music filled the room, bass shaking the ground underneath your feet.

It was the first time going out after the events at Gojo’s house. Shoko had basically begged you to come with her to get shit faced complaining that she really needed someone to rant with. You told her that Utahime was right there and would probably love to listen to her, but she claimed that the woman from Kyoto had other plans for the weekend.

After arriving at the karaoke bar you had been taken back after seeing the stoic blonde man at the venue. You weighed the option of immediately leaving in your head, but your conscience did not allow you to do so, after leaving him so rudely hanging in the meeting. When the three of you had gotten your own private room you decided to immediately order shots and drinks with the only goal of getting absolutely black out drunk tonight despite having Nanami there. 

It was honestly rare to see him after work as he had preferred to keep his distance. He was wearing the same clothing he always wore, dress shirt ironed, necktie perfectly hanging against his chest as if he was on the clock. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he were to whip out a cursed tool onto the bar table. 

You clutched onto the microphone singing unevenly as you danced to the beat, half of the syllables disappearing to you being out of breath. Shoko cackled, almost folding over as she kept slapping her thigh eyes watering. She had drunk a few drinks less than you and she had been exceptionally happy even before drinking. Truthfully Shoko was quite a heavy drinker and she definitely should not have been as wasted as what she appeared to be. 

Nanami stared at the both of you, raising the whiskey glass to his lips after checking his wrist watch. 

“Come here! Sing with us!” You yelled to the mic only getting a slightly alarmed expression out of him as he shook his head.

“I think I’m okay with watching you two perform,” he said. 

You pouted but kept on singing, your concentration skills nonexistent. You did not notice the way Shoko glared at him, nudging her head towards you as she pointed the microphone in her hand towards him. 

Nanami cleared his throat under the threatening gaze and clumsily got up. 

“Oh my god! Nanamiii!” You screamed the noise so high pitched that even the speakers were unable to handle it and you could see how Nanami cringed at the sound. 

Shoko squinted her eyes and mouthed the word sing to Nanami. Shoko was not going to deal with you alone. 

The combination of the pop song and Nanami’s voice made you giggle as you hurrayed him happily. He was not a bad singer by any means, but his voice did not fit the song choice. You wondered to yourself, why had you not gotten shitfaced earlier when you had all the good reasons to. 

Shoko decided to take a small break sitting on the spot where Nanami had been earlier and inspected the brown liquid swishing in the glass. She stole a sip from it when Nanami wasn’t watching, not really caring about the fact that it wasn’t her drink.

You grabbed your drink from the table and drank from it and you kept on singing happily, almost jumping around. Nanami looked at you with a terrified expression when you moved side to side with the drink spilling on your hand, but you did not notice the wetness of it. 

“Hey, put that down before you drop the glass,” Nanami said and gently tried to take the glass from you.

“No, I want to keep this,” a pout formed on your face but you still did what he told and turned around swiftly to place the drink on the counter. Your vision was blurry, the lights slightly too bright and you lost your balance tipping over the glass that was already safely on the table. You felt yourself starting to fall but a strong arm snaked around your waist to stabilize you. 

The world felt like it was stopping when the arm around you changed into a tight rope that pressed around your ribcage. The karaoke room changed inch by inch to a vast room with a wall made of windows with a night view of the streets of Tokyo. The shattered drink turned into a broken light bulb on the floor. You felt a hot breath on your skin, but your body had gotten cold. It was as if you had been dunked into ice water, all the earlier excitement completely vanished. The disco ball spun around casting blue lights on the white haired man’s face that ogled you like a piece of meat. The imagery was so vivid and real in your mind that you reacted on instinct, elbowing the man behind you. 

The rope vanished around you as the windows melted to the concrete floor, the shadows of city lights turned back to the tacky illumination of the disco ball. You felt the remnants of cursed energy fizzing out like a soda can as your eyes landed on Nanami, who was slightly hunched over holding onto his side the pain making him grimace. You had no idea how much force you had actually used, but probably quite a lot judging by the way Nanami was reacting. 

Shoko stood there completely still, eyes filled to the brim with worry and confusion. Her lips were ajar and she gulped down wanting to say something, but she did not know what. 

“My apologies. I didn't mean to touch you inappropriately,” Nanami managed to say. The music track played in the background, but it felt empty without a drunken voice guiding it. He was lucky to have good reflexes, instinctually protecting himself from the blow, otherwise Shoko would have had a patient off the clock. 

“Uh,” Your mouth gaped at him hopelessly. He had done nothing wrong. 

“I’ll go for a cigarette,” you blurted out and left the room hurriedly. The long hallway stretched in front of your eyes as you looked at the numbers on karaoke booths, only muted colors flashing through the slightly translucent doors. You leaned on the wall as you dragged your feet forward arriving at the front desk that thanked you for your time, but you did not pay attention to them and turned to your left to stare at the steep stairway.

The steps were made out of wood with a black paint that had started to chip away and the walls were pure red, too bright and intense for your eyes. You focused on the door in front of you and barely saw the red walls around it as they got covered by a dark cloud, your way of seeing more animalistic than human.The only thing in your mind was the need to get some fresh air as emotions threw you around like a shipwreck at the sea. 

You pushed the door open and walked over to a bicycle stand choosing an empty spot where you plopped yourself on. You rocked yourself back and forth as you cried and gripped onto your skin painfully hoping that at least the physical sensation would put an end to your suffering. You started to be more aware of the familiar banging against your skull. 

The door of the karaoke bar opened as Shoko walked outside, her face now serious, resembling more the woman she was at work than the friend giggling at drunk people's jokes. 

“Hey. You forgot this inside.” She handed you your bag.

You wanted to answer something but you could not as the words got stuck to your throat. Your world flashed back and forth between sensations that you weren’t supposed to feel in this moment. The guilt and sadness ate you alive, nipping away from your vitals the more you tried to push them down. 

Shoko placed a cigarette between her lips and lit it up and offered it to you. You took it gladly off her hands inhaling the sweet smoke, but you almost ended up suffocating on it as your nose was too stuffed to handle it. Even the menthol taste was unable to help you with this issue. Shoko opened the green box once more to get herself a smoke as well. 

She took a drag out of it and watched your shuddering figure. 

“I saw you in the hallway with Geto. Something happened at Gojo’s right?”

You lifted your head up mascara running on your cheeks. Had you not been in such a bad state her words would have shocked you. 

“I can’t help you if you don’t want my help.” Shoko crouched down to your level. You stared at her face as she left out a puff of smoke that trailed around her face, the dark eye bags now more visible than ever. 

You choked on your tears once more, now openly wailing on the pavement your fingers digging into the soft flesh of your arm. You dragged your nails across yourself leaving pink trails behind it, the soft tingle covering the areas you had just clawed at. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” you cried, your words hard to decipher as your breath hitched. “I can’t keep on doing this. It’s all my fault. I’m so stupid,” you screamed snot falling onto your shirt. 

“So fucking stupid!” You impulsively pressed the cigarette butt against your thigh melting the cloth away the stinging pain shocking you as your skin shed its layers against the fire. 

You had no shame in your breakdown, frankly you did not even recognize the others that looked in your way speaking with hushed voices around you, as they tightened the grip on their partners hands. “That girl really needs to lay off the drinks,” someone had said loudly. Shoko had wanted to immediately pounce, but she held herself together. She knew that you needed her more. 

“Don’t hurt yourself, when you want to hurt someone else,” her voice was just a whisper. “Can I touch you?” She asked not wanting to trigger you further. You nodded. 

Shoko pulled you into a tight hug and you buried your face on her chest, holding onto her like it was the last thing keeping you afloat. You seeked comfort in her presence. 

“I want to die.” You gripped onto her tighter. “I’m so weak.”

Shoko stroked your hair, her own eyes watering as she listened to you wordlessly. She felt your pain almost just as viscerally as you were experiencing them now.  

“No matter… no matter what I do. I can’t escape them. I just want to be gone. I want to-”

Shoko shushed you and slipped her free hand into her pocket, digging out her phone. Almost ten minutes had gone by. She awkwardly opened her chat with Nanami trying to inform the man who was probably still sitting in their booth waiting for the two of you to come back. 

A male voice disturbed the two of you. “Is everything okay?” 

Shoko pressed her hand on your shoulder pushing herself up from the ground, she whispered to you to stay put, not that you really were in any condition to go anywhere. 

“Good that you’re here. I was just about to text you. Can you get us a taxi?”

“Of course,” he said and opened the app punching in your address that Shoko forwarded to him. He looked so much older and out of place in the busy street. 

This was the kind hearted and lovely Nanami that had forgiven you immediately, after you had punched him in the gut because you were fucked up in the head. The kind hearted and lovely Nanami that you couldn’t look in the eyes, because of a certain man whose name you felt like acid on the tip of your tongue. The thoughts in your head brought fresh tears to your eyes. You dangerously sailed in the deep waters of suicidal ideation, your tired hands opening the forbidden door.  

“It’s going to arrive in five minutes,” Nanami hummed. 

“I think you should go. I’ll handle this,” Shoko said, her voice full of pity. “I’ll keep you posted.”

Nanami nodded in agreement. 

“For what it’s worth, take care of yourself too.” Nanami’s words were carefully chosen, anticipating that you weren’t the only one who needed a hug. 

***

SHOKO’S MEMORIES, YEAR 2006

The beach was filled with people who enjoyed the way the sun spoiled them with its warmth. Shoko was sitting on a towel next to Mei Mei who applied generous amounts of sunscreen on her hand. They sat underneath a parasol that had been propped in the sand, covering them both from the direct sun. The brown haired girl watched as Utahime excitedly threw herself to the water. She had given up on trying to get Shoko and Mei Mei in the water as well. 

“Mei Mei, don’t you have a lot of experience with boys?” Shoko almost whispered and hugged her legs. Her beach shawl swayed when the breeze decided to start playing with the huge piece of cloth. 

“Are you trying to imply something?” Her voice was low and melodic but not at all accusatory. 

“No, nothing like that. I just wanted to ask you something.” Shoko shook her head flustered. “Is it normal for a guy to kiss a girl without asking?” 

Mei Mei burst into laughter. This was the question Shoko was getting all worked up for? 

“Shoko,” Mei Mei’s eyes glimmered softly when she said the younger girl’s name with gentleness that reminded her of a mother tugging a child into bed. “I did not take you for being this innocent,” she teased. 

“I’m not innocent,” the brown haired girl huffed with the unexpected blush decorating her cheeks.

“Did someone do that to you?” Mei Mei tilted her head curiously and offered the sunscreen bottle to Shoko who happily took it to her hands.

“If I tell you, will you promise that you won’t tell anyone?”

“If I’m honest, I don’t think I care enough to tattle. You got me curious now. Tell me,” she hummed as a smile curled on her lips. 

“Well uh.. Suguru kind of kissed me when we were playing truth or dare with Satoru,” Shoko explained . She ran her hand between the warm sand, the grainy texture giving her something else to think about. “It was a stupid dare on Satoru’s part. Dunno why I accepted it.” 

Shoko added that she did not want to kiss him under any circumstances but the boy had managed to go over her boundary with ease. 

“That’s it?” Mei Mei asked, raising her eyebrow. She was almost bewildered at how tame the story was. 

“Yeah.” 

The blue haired woman scoffed.

“Guys think that girls like it when they take control and in a certain sense they are right. Maybe they got their eyes on you? Although, I did think that Suguru and Satoru were..” Mei Mei’s voice trailed off as she thought. “It doesn’t matter.” She concluded. 

“If I were you. I’d go along with it.” Mei Mei suggested. 

“No way. I don’t like them like that. Besides that’s not what I asked for your opinion on.” 

“And?” Mei Mei turned her gaze on Shoko, her eyes hardening as she intensely stared at the younger girl. “Those two men are our generation’s strongest and you’re going to complain that one of them gave you a little kiss?” 

Mei Mei’s melodic voice dropped lower as she showed her true feelings of distaste towards Shoko’s views. 

“If I were you,” she started again, her voice tough and bitter. “I’d be securing my spot by their side and not planning to bring forth meaningless accusations over a game of truth or dare.” 

Shoko was at loss with the things that were being said to her. Now that she thought about it, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to speak with Mei Mei. 

“I did not say I was going to tell anyone,” her voice was squeaky like a little girl’s. 

“But you thought about that right?” Shoko did not deny nor confirm the accusation.

Mei Mei’s face softened. “Shoko, you’re a smart girl. You should know better than to get shaken by two boys, especially when you so eagerly lead them on.“ 

“..I don’t lead them on.”

“Then stop meeting them in your spare time. If you do that, guys will think that you’re willing. You’re not a kid anymore, they do notice that you’re a woman now.” 

She stayed quiet, Mei Mei’s words burning on her skin worse than the summer heat. She did not want guys thinking about her that way. She simply wanted to be their friend and the idea of boys and girls being unable to do that because of bodily differences made Shoko shudder. 

“You want to help your friends, right?” Mei Mei asked when Utahime got out of the water. 

Shoko nodded. 

“Then become a doctor. That’s the best you can do to others with the technique you have.” Her words were probably meant to be comforting, but they made Shoko’s heart sink to the bottom of the ocean. 

“Shookoo!” Utahime ran towards the two girls sitting on the beach towels. 

“Are you willing to swim now?” Sand and water droplets clung onto her radiant skin that the younger girl admired silently. Shoko felt her heart skip a few times in her chest when Utahime offered her hand to her. 

“Sure.” The shy smile stretched on Shoko’s lips. 

“I’ll stay here. But you guys have fun.” Mei Mei announced as she opened the book next to her the pages slightly crumpled up. 

Shoko did not really register Mei Mei’s voice anymore. She grabbed Utahime’s hand and the world slowly faded away around them. 

****

Shoko went through the bathroom nimbly avoiding piles of clothing or takeout bags as she looked through your bathroom cupboard. She found a bag of half used cotton pads and a micelar water from the mess.

The taxi drive had felt like eternity. Your tears had dried before settling in the car and numbness had taken over. Shoko helped you to your bed and said that she’d come back soon, closing the door behind her giving you some space to change into something more comfortable. 

The door opened. Shoko looked at you and sat on the bed. You were using a pillow as a support for your back. The night lamp’s warm color casted shadows around your puffy face. The woman shook the bottle in her hand and poured liquid on the white cotton pad and tilted your face towards hers. 

She pressed the pad on your eyelid carefully letting the mixture soak through the heaps of makeup on your face. You sniffled sadly before speaking. 

“I can do this on my own too.” 

“I want to do this,” her voice was soft as she spoke the makeup remover leaving your skin slightly cold. You simply nodded and admired the way her hair framed her face. 

“You know I’ve had my own bad experiences too,” Shoko said, her face turning to a slight frown. Her mind was sailing in memories that she had given up on trying to understand. 

You were at a loss of words. You wanted to pry, but it felt invasive. 

“With them? Really?” You heard yourself asking as you danced on the line of impropriety.

“Yeah,” Shoko hummed, “but we shouldn’t have this conversation yet. Maybe in the morning, but not now,” she tried to make her voice sound brighter, feel brighter as if it would fix everything. 

“Okay,” you said. Maybe she’s right about this. Shoko discarded the dirty cotton pad, simply placing it on the bedside table. It was at its limits the whole thing turned into the color of your foundation with the small black streaks of your mascara on it, or what was left from it. 

She held onto your face gently for a moment too long even after she was done. You opened your eyes to really look at her. She looked so sad and.. young? Yes young was the right word. She looked like a woman robbed out of something sacred. She had been so happy, so easy to excite in her youth, but now all she seemed to carry was baggage. 

Your drunken mind wanted to close the distance, but something held you back. Maybe it was all the answers that were still being withheld by her, maybe it was the understanding that it’s not the right time yet. 

“Can you stay the night?” you whispered. Shoko breathed in and opened her mouth to say something, but you were faster. “Please? Th-there’s some clothes you can borrow in my closet.” 

She stayed quiet and you waited patiently.

“I’ll stay.” 

You smiled weakly at her and muttered a gentle thank you. She shuffled up from the bed and walked over the closet you had pointed for her. You turned your back to her when you heard the rustling of clothing that she ended up piling up neatly on one of the spare chairs in your bedroom. 

You fluffed up the pillow next to you and lifted up the blanket when she climbed in. You turned your back to her as you lay down on your side. Your hand searched the light switch and then the room was pitch black. 

Shoko awkwardly came closer to you till your back was against hers and she played with your hair idly in the silence. The touch was friendly, your body slumping in relaxation almost immediately. It was nice to have someone there. You had gotten so used to being afraid of the nights. 

“Good night,” she said, her voice hoarse. 

“Night.” 

***

You woke up alone with no trace of the woman in your room. She had gotten up earlier than you and dressed up back to the clothes she had in the bar. You hugged your plush blanket, almost burying your whole face underneath it, not ready to face the day.

Your head hurt and you felt nauseous. How is Shoko even able to do things? You wondered to yourself.

The faint knock on the bedroom door disrupted your thoughts as the door opened slightly. 

“I made a sandwich for you and found some painkillers, if you want any,” she said and you heard her steps further away again. 

You groaned and threw the blanket away from your body, the cold greeting you roughly. 

Your kitchen had gotten miraculously cleaner, the multiple empty beer cans piled in a bag and the dishwasher hummed quietly. You stared at the brown table in front of you that had two sandwiches and glasses of water on it, hunger long gone from your body. 

“You really should drink less.” Shoko picked up another empty can from the counter just to place it in the bag.

“Like you’re the one to talk.” You sat on the chair with its legs squeaking against the floor with your rough treatment. 

You grabbed the pill bottle and rattled out two tablets that you threw in your mouth and drank barely enough water to chase them down. 

“What do you remember?” Shoko asked and sat in front of you. She wasn’t feeling very hungry either. 

“I remember punching Nanami and the talk we had before we fell asleep,” you mumbled, playing with the edges of the slightly crusty lettuce between your sandwich. You had meant to use it on a salad a few days ago, but you were too tired to cook for yourself. Even the simple things were hard. “What did I tell you?”

“Nothing. You were just crying.”

Oh. So it was like that. 

“They assaulted me.” Your face was stern, emotions hidden behind a wall. The words felt weird. It was the first time you had actually said it out loud.

Shoko’s face widened from shock. 

“They what?” 

“Don’t make me repeat it,” you hissed. 

“Sorry, I won’t.” 

The silence felt unbearable and you stuffed your face full of bread just to do something. 

“They did something similar when we were still in school.” Shoko ripped the hangnail painfully from her skin and pressed on the miniscule wound with one of her fingers. 

You chewed the sandwich aggressively without tasting anything, the texture turning to mush in your mouth. 

“Why didn’t you warn me?” Your words were way more accusatory than what you wanted. 

Shoko turned her head to the side looking hurt by your sudden outburst. Her eyebrows scrunched together in pain as she looked for the perfect words, but there were none. 

“You admired them. I didn’t want to take that away from you, and when I realized that I probably should have said..”

“Bullshit, Shoko. It’s been ten years. I deserved to know, you could have-”

“Stop blaming me for their shit!” she yelled. Shoko never yells. 

You fell quiet. You reined in your anger, its hands still attempting to reach out to anything it could latch on. She was right. It’s not her burden to bear, but you still couldn’t help but feel powerless, when there could have theoretically been someone who could have told you to not go there. 

“Sorry,” you simply said just to drop the topic. Shoko sighed defeatedly and pushed her head briefly against her hands. She understood the anger, she really did. 

“They drugged me and then raped me together. I don’t remember a lot from it. I fought back – well attempted to,” your voice shook as you spoke. 

The brown haired woman simply looked at you with silent empathy. 

“Did you at least get one good punch in?” 

Your lips curled into a downhearted smile. The memory of your feeble fight playing in your mind, the weakness and despair of it all, a futile attempt of a prey to preserve their life just one moment longer. 

“Not a single one,” you laughed hollowly as one tear rolled on your cheek and your lips trembled. “But I did rip some hair out of Geto at the school,” you tried to brighten your voice and be brave. 

Shoko’s eyes watered and she answered your smile with her own. 

“Good.” 

The almost happy expression faded from your face. Everything hurt, never had you ever thought to be in a situation like this where you were exchanging devastation with your friend like gifts on christmas. 

“Why did you stay? Even Nanami left for a while, you could have done the same.” Your question was gentler this time. 

Shoko pondered for a minute, not sure of her answer either. 

“Because this is the only way I could help. I had you and Utahime and I didn’t want to leave you two behind. Besides what else was I supposed to do? I’ve been given a technique that can save many if I choose right. Had I left a lot more could have died because I wasn’t here — all because of what two men did,” she tried to put her thoughts together. 

“There’s a reason why Utahime doesn’t like Gojo,” Shoko blurted out and played with her hair. 

You took a careful sip of water as if you were trying to carefully dissect the different flavors of Shoko’s words. 

“What do you mean? Did they do something to her as well?” 

“No. I just mean that women know, you know? I think it’s in our blood to recognize danger. That’s one of the reasons she despises him. But this is just my thought, not an universal truth,” Shoko wondered out loud. 

She breathed in once again as if the words she was about to speak were too painful. 

“I think sometimes us women have to carry the atrocities of men. There’s no rhyme or reason why they do certain things. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. I never went through what you did, but I can’t say that I’m surprised,” she mused. “I’m sorry though. What you went through. It’s not right.”

Her brown eyes stared at you expectantly. You chewed on your lip nervously and tapped the empty plate with your nail, the small tinkle sound working as a metronome. 

“No, it’s not,” you huffed. But it feels like it’s my fault. If I had not gone there, if I had not idolized them – loved them even. This wouldn’t have ended this way. It was easier to leave those words in your head. 

“So what now?” You looked at Shoko, your eyes pleading, asking for answers, guidance, anything she would be able to provide to you. You knew there was nothing clear cut Shoko could say, but god how you wished that someone would know what to do. 

Shoko shook her head in defeat as if telling you that she wasn’t able to point you on the right track like that. 

“Whatever you want. You can stay or go, but you don’t have to carry it alone,” Shoko said, her face gentle. You could still draw out the remnants of the young girl from the year two thousand and six on her features. The lines were almost faded but they were still there. 

You found kinship in her even if neither of you had shared the full story of what had happened. You weren’t there yet and you weren’t ready. Instead the two of you skirted around words unspoken finding solace of at least having someone who could understand. It was up to the both of you what to make out of the confessions of the past. 

[14thgalerie]

tell me why

• pairing: theodore nott x reader

• now playing: dangerous by madison beer

• word count: 3.3k

• genre: angst, fluff (barely)

— based on this request, i hope you like this one even though i'm pretty sure this isn't what you had in mind huhu. i tried to find a way to go about this prompt that isn't all cliche and was written before.

Projects given over the holiday: written and set aside in a matter of six hours.

Every crevice and corner of his room is now spotless.

A game of quidditch with Lorenzo with his siblings.

And that’s the entire list. He has finally run out of things to do, yet the sun remains shining brightly outside. What was supposed to be an uneventful day had turned out to be quite a hectic one. An accidental glance at the desk that sits below the tall windows ruined the extraneous effort he had gone to in order to forget about a certain envelope or rather someone.

An entire day has already passed since his owl dropped by to hand him a single envelope. After taking a glance at the sender, he couldn’t bring himself to open it right at that instance.

In all honesty, he has absolutely no idea as to why he is avoiding opening it; well maybe he does know, and maybe it’s the reason for the dread that kept stirring at the pit of his stomach. The last time he heard from you was at the Hogwarts Express before you completely cut off contact with him.

It’s been an entire week now since the holiday break started, the same amount of time since he received a word from you, something that has never occurred. Your fights had never lasted for longer than necessary— a day would be the worst of it because he despises it whenever people make matters worse for themselves by ignoring one another. But despite his great hatred for it, he doesn’t feel a single thing except for the urgency and desperation that you answer him.

So, he doesn’t understand why you suddenly shut away from him when everything has been going great. One moment you were all snuggled up to him in the compartment you shared with your friends and then not a single word from you from the hundreds of letters he must’ve sent by now.

The sound of knocking pulls him from his thoughts.

“Hey Theo, I left some food for you here if you’re awake. Mom also set aside some medicine if you’re not feeling well, she’s worried for you.” He hears Lorenzo at the door trying to talk to him, unsure if he is even being heard by Theo.

Silence fills the room as Lorenzo leaves, thinking that he’s still asleep. Looking at the yellow ribbon that wraps around the envelope, he reaches out and takes hold of it for the first time since he last dropped it.

Pulling the band with a sense of uneasiness, he sees that it doesn’t have anything special on it, just your name at the front and numbers at the upper left corner. Pulling out the paper— wondering if the little doodles that always accompanied your letter for him would be there, but he is left frowning at the blank edges. Flipping it open, he laughs out loud at the naivety of believing it will be any good before he is choked by the lump that formed in his throat.

Let’s break up, Theo.

I’m a coward to do this over a letter, I know. I won’t blame you if you’re mad at me. I have been constantly depressed at the thought of doing this. In the weeks leading up to when I am writing this, I have been incessantly living vicariously through the memory of us. 

I know it’s too much to ask after doing this to you, but please never talk to me again. Don’t ask. I won't be able to explain to you, not when I still don’t understand it and how I’m feeling.

Goodbye.

You wonder if he’ll ask. You wonder if you will ever tell him. How you will explain, how you might run away instead. It’ll be an answer enough to satiate the questions that barrage through the doors of your mind without warning.

Theo was lying in his bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to move when your body is deprived of sustenance; nor food or sleep is enough. So he lays there in the forced darkness from his drawn bed curtains, body more still and cold than a dead body 6 feet underground.

He couldn’t handle another day of hiding behind the old facade of indifference. At first, it was easy. He heeded your wish of keeping his distance even if every atom in his body begged to be near you. Saving the most painful, physical sobbing in his solitude. He was fine just seeing you be there; alive and breathing.

As the days lingered on, however, it wasn’t enough. Not when you have deprived him even of that one simple thing. Disappearing from every class you’re sharing only to find out you have requested to attend another class.

He didn’t have the energy to keep up with that charade anymore. Letting himself wither until he’s only a nutshell of the man you’ve built in the ruins of his past.

He had, in every sense but physical, become a ghost, drifting between the phases of the day without a sense of time. He relies on his day-to-day life by moving on autopilot.

He doesn’t know what he did, he begs to know because he cannot go on another day like this. 

“Theodore Nott!”

His attention is called away when he hears a booming voice beside him followed by the bright light that showers over him as the curtain of his canopy is pulled open. Not a care if the man wasting away hours behind it will be mad at her. 

Pansy only knew one thing: she would not have her best friend lose every prospect in his life because of both of your lack of communication. She couldn’t give a damn if you will ever manage to resolve your issues. For now, Theo is her priority and he needs to stand up and study.

She had already managed to fix you up enough to have you up and functioning, although a mere ghost on legs. But that will do, now for this man who is at the grunt of your problems.

“Stand up and go to the library.” She pulls the blanket which barely covers him, and throws it someplace. “You are going to fail your NEWTS at this rate.”

“Who cares?” He drawls out. Turning to his side to cower beneath his pillows.

“Your future does.” Knowing that he will never stand at his own will, she gathers every bit of strength in her to pull him by his arms.

“Gods, Pans. Can you just bugger off and leave me alone?”

He tries to wave her off and turns to slide beneath the welcoming arms of his bed. But before his face plants onto the soft, strewn fabric, he is pushed and pushed until they are greeted by the long, grimy corridor outside their common room. His bag full of books was thrown out the door after him. With his lack of energy, all he can do is follow her demand.

Hoping that this will distract him.

Theo trudged towards the library, dragging his feet behind him. Maybe the tranquil ambiance could be a soothing balm for his aching heart. Make him finally focus on other things in his life, knowing that whatever reason you may have, you would never wish that he put his studies on hold.

Theo chose a table tucked away in a quiet corner, where he could fully immerse himself in his books and thoughts. The flickering candle lights atop the wooden tables, weathered by the countless students that passed through Hogwarts, had added a comforting touch to his isolation. Casting dancing shadows on the polished surfaces.

This worked for about an hour and a half until he realised he had forgotten his advanced Potions book in his other bag.

Surrounded by towering bookshelves, Theo began searching for a copy of the book he’s missing and some other texts that might be helpful for his NEWTS classes. As he reached a particular shelf that contained the very books he was looking for, he couldn’t help but overhear snippets of a conversation, the hushed tones barely above a whisper. 

“-Theodore?”

He decided to walk away, thinking the conversation private, when his attention was caught by the mention of his name. He wasn’t able to catch the question but he was intrigued.

With a furrowed brow, he furtively strained over the tiny slot in the shelf he pulled a book from to see two familiar faces opposite him, unaware of the person with wide eyes that locked in on one person. 

As if on instinct, he dwindles at the sight of you, like a cord being pulled out of its socket, his body going back on autopilot.

He almost slapped himself in the forehead for not recognizing your voice sooner, but he wonders. Why had you appeared so sullen and gaunt? Would it have to do with him since you mentioned him? He leans back on the shelves awaiting to hear more, wondering why you were supposedly that way when you have been acting like nothing had happened between the two of you. 

“We’re not together anymore, Luna.” You say in a dejected voice. Seeing it written on paper hurt, but nothing could compare to the anguish that invaded him at hearing it from you, feeling hopeless to the constant sharp pain on his chest that wrenched deeper into the wound.

“Is that why he’s been staying by the Ford Bog recently?” Luna unassumingly asks, curious. 

“What?”

“When I come by to feed the Thestrals, he is always there talking to them.” He hears Luna explain. He hadn’t known that Luna had been coming over to see them also. Now that he thinks about it, he remembers that, like him, she had also witnessed her mother’s death.

“Oh.” You must be thinking about what he confessed to you when you found him in a similar situation back in the fourth year.

“You miss him.” From the manner that Luna says it, it was less of a speculation and more of a fact. “I do.” You confess.

This makes him confused. His brows knit together as he tries his best to piece together the words that slipped from you in a way he understands. You had been the one to break off your relationship suddenly, without a word of explanation. But now you sit there, admitting you miss him after you ask him to keep his distance. He is tempted to turn the corner and ask you.

“But you constantly run away from him?” Luna asks for him instead. She follows it up with another question. “You broke up with him, right?”

There was a pregnant pause before he heard your voice again.

“Yes, I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“I was scared that he would do it sooner or later and I didn’t want to experience the pain of hearing it from him first-hand. So then, I decided that I would do the job for him.” You explain. 

He is left stumbling back at the accusation, knowing within himself that it would be the last thing he would do in a million years. Ever, actually. What spurred this idea from you? He finds it incredibly insulting that you would think he would.

Luna asks why you think he’ll do that. 

You say after a moment’s pause, “He’s been hanging out with this new friend of his before the holidays, and at first I didn’t care because I trusted him. But she just-” Your breath hitches, “She began to be more flirty and provocative with him and he didn’t even blink an eye.” 

You take in a sharp breath. “I know he would never do it, and he probably didn’t even notice but I don’t know…” 

His subconscious blocked out any of what followed after that horrid confession. Memories came in sudden assaults on his brain and senses. He doesn’t like how uncertain you sounded: he doesn’t know why you would think twice of his actions. 

Truth be told, he did indeed notice the weird affectionate manner in Scarlet’s approach to him. Frankly, he didn’t care and settled to ignore her in order to avoid conflict as she was a friend of Mattheo. Putting her in the back of his mind and that would be the end of it.

He always knew that you had this fear that he would leave you for another, this is provoked more by his terrible past with women before you. But he never thought it would be a problem for your relationship as he constantly did his best to remind you that it was either you or nothing at all. 

Though he couldn’t exactly blame you, even now as he sinks into the cold stone ground, he was stupid to think that ignoring Scarlet would suffice.

Sitting on the cold, hard floors with his head in between his hands, digits tightly clutching his hair. He doesn’t hear Luna excusing herself from your session, leaving you to clean up to prepare to leave. Stuck in the confusing labyrinth that his mind wandered off to, he didn’t notice the gentle footsteps near him, trying to avoid the librarian’s wrath.

“Theo?”

Nothing.

“Hello?”

Still not a thing from him. You become concerned.

“Theodore? Are you alright?”

You find yourself forgetting the very promise that you had even asked Theo to uphold— to never approach you. But despite your stern resolve, the sight of Theo sitting in the library corner, his distress palpable, throws it all out. Instead, the nagging fear that if you're the source of his evident turmoil.

“Theo.” You crouch down in front of him, keeping your hands nestled to your lap.

He didn’t even lift his head— you weren’t sure if he was not acknowledging you or that he simply didn’t notice you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it. Your feet are itching to run.

“I’m sorry.” He finally looks up to meet your eyes and your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he was not in good condition. You’re confused as to why he’s being like this. 

But somewhat you knew. Your heart pounds relentlessly against your chest. You knew what he was going to say.

“What do you mean?” 

He shakes his head. Eyes plastered intently on the creaking floorboards. “Scarlet.”

When he speaks it into existence, you dislike the way you flinch, the familiar bitterness spreading throughout your body. Your heart drops into the pits of your stomach.

“I- I’m sorry.” Theo’s voice quivered, his words trembling on the precipice of his emotions. His eyes were becoming blurred by the veil of his tears, bearing a weight that seemed almost unbearable. “Fuck, I’m so so sorry, Y/N.”

The lump in your throat threatened to suffocate you, leaving you on the brink of despair unable to respond properly. 

“It’s my fault. I never know when something upsets you. I hardly know you better than how I’m supposed to.” He says it like he means it. Theo says it to himself more than he says it to you. 

The world slows down to an adagio, and you’re caught up in the emotion that washes over you at his condition. Theo is rarely dishevelled; he’s hardly all over the place. If anything, he has always been quite proper, the opposite of the man in front of you.

You say his name softly, your gut tightening at the heart-breaking sight in front of you. Hesitating to reach out and hold him close to you. So you reach out to wipe away the lone tear that slides down his face.

“Merlin…I should be the one saying sorry.” 

“What?” He finally pulls him together enough to reply to you coherently.

“It’s not you. You’re not the problem.” Your subconscious running at a millimetre per second to come up with the right words to amend his words. Finding this a bit harder than you expected. “I am so broken that my body is just encased in this eternal itch to run.”

“When I saw how you were so unconcerned about Scarlet’s obvious attempts, I panicked. I let that fear get the best of me, letting it poison my mind. I was afraid that one day you’d begin to reciprocate her attraction. Maybe you would have been happier with her. I was terrified of losing you, and when the holidays came, I grabbed the chance to cower back and let it consume me. I didn’t wanna hear you confirm that hellish thought.”

“What changed?” He croaks out. “Why are you telling me all this now?”

“A big part of it comes from my conversations with Mum. I kind of forgot that she never really sides with me when it comes to my irrational decisions and she’s always been the one to make me realise it.” You feel the urge to laugh at the thought, but you restrain yourself. 

“And by heaven’s will, I want you to be happy but the need to be your happiness far outweighs that.”

But he does nothing but remain seated silently, nothing in him revealing that he plans to move. And you are terrified, for once you had no idea what was going on inside his head but you know that you had to let him think on his own. To stop assuming and making decisions off of it.

“You, you are a great deal of a headache to me. I have spent days questioning myself; was I so horrible that I couldn't even be granted the decency to be broken up to my face." cried Theo. 

“No you weren’t, Theo. I promise you.”

“I know I’m not. Yet, you still made me feel like it. I was happy with you, you were my lone happiness. I think it’ll be awhile before I forget this, despite what you confess.” He says, his voice choking up now and then, in spite of manful efforts to keep it steady.

“Is that true, Theo?”

“But as upset and tired I am, I still love you.” He acquiesced. “It’s laughingly pathetic how I am still entirely yours.”

He stopped short, his hands that rested on his lap emerging to take yours in its grasp. Their grip is a perfect balance of a strong hold and a gentleness.

“And I love you too, I don’t think I ever stopped. I promise you that I’ll work on myself, make things right between us again, because I don’t think I can go on for another day like this.” You said, sworn with a conviction so strong.

He shook his head and to that you feel the disgusting worm that whispers to you appear, “No. We’re gonna do it together, alright?” But it’s crushed under his pretty foot.

“I promised you then that I wouldn’t leave you to face whatever problems you have on your own. When I confessed to you ’I love you’, it meant that I would continuously be by your side to help you with your troubles. Our troubles.” He reminds you. “We’ll fix this together from now on…nobody is doing things solo.”

He tugs on your arms, telling you wordlessly to sit beside him. When you do, by habit and longing, your head moves to rest on the juncture of his neck inhaling the scent you missed most.

Nothing felt better than to have the urge to have your head resting on him be satisfied, he wanted nothing more than to feel something as mundane as this.

As he leaned his head on her temple, you felt giddy, feeling yourself turn tomato red at the action. It was a happy time, in spite of the things that remained to be talked about, so happy that you couldn’t dare to disturb it with anything.

“Y/N…” He breaks the silence.

You hum. 

“Did you ever dream about me?” 

“I thought about you.”

Only a soft squeeze to your hand serves as a reply.

masterlist

[qirongshusband]

SFW Headcanons for Male!R being a normal person in the JJK world and just encountering Yuji every so often during normal day stuff and slowly becoming good friends with him.

୨ . ࣪ my best friend . ୨ . 🌅

Note ~ I sobbed at the end.. there’s your tragic ending though I hope you like it(*´-`)..(I screamed and cried.)

MENTIONS — Male!Reader, close friends with Itadori, Blood, Death of !Reader, shibuya incident mentioned, grieving, depression.

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐

— !YuujiItadori who meets you at a movie theater for another human earthworm movie! He thought it was cool to see someone around his age enjoying the same stuff as him since Nobara n’ Megumi were either too busy or didn’t want to watch a ‘weird’ movie like that..

— !YuujiItadori who makes sure to get your number so you guys can hang out more and maybe introduce you to his other friends!

— !YuujiItadori who calls/texts you daily to ask to hang out and even asks you about your day and what you did, sometimes when you were free he’d even offer to get you guy’s food, his treat!

— !YuujiItadori who considers you a best friend only after a short time of knowing him, you both know a lot about each other since the both of you would everyday and hang out with him almost everyday when you guys got the chance, you even hang out with his friend group too!

— !YuujiItadori who is a really nice guy and a great listener, if you’re having a bad day or need help with something he wouldn’t mind helping one of his best friends out. And if you were feeling bothered by something he’d insist you talk to him or at least let him listen to your struggles so he can try to cheer you up or help you out, you are his best friend after all that’s what a friend is for!（╹◡╹）♡

— !YuujiItadori who tries to get your mind off of hard things especially school, he wasn’t that bright but even if you needed some help with work or anything of the sort he sure would try!!…or use some cheating AI app and say some dumbass shit like “hey man..it gets the job done okay?” With a silly laugh.

— !YuujiItadori who tells you how much he appreciates you and how he likes hanging out with you A LOT, how you’re a chill guy and a funny one at that as well!

— !YuujiItadori who DEFINITELY made you both create a secret handshake only you two know about since you guys are such good friends!

— !YuujiItadori who would probably tease and pull a little prank here and there, nothing serious he would probably slap the back of your neck(not hard ofc!!), the ‘made you look!’ classic, play fight with you, etc. he would DEFINITELY steal a fry from you when you were looking and be like “woaaaaah..who did that..not me!! You’re definitely seeing things man..” as he’d do the crazy sign, you knew he was joking and he made you laugh so you never had a problem with him.

— !YuujiItadori who defends you if someone tries to start with you or is mean to you, he doesn’t like when people are rude to his friends, especially you. You both are close and doesn’t get why someone would be rude to you.

— !YuujiItadori who accepts and understands anything you are/do, he isn’t a judging guy. As long as you aren’t like those really mean judgmental bullies or just a strange weirdo he could care less. You’re his friend nothing would change that no matter how you are.

— !YuujiItadori who invites you over to his place so you guys can stay up late and eat a shit ton of snacks you both are sooooo gonna regret later..

— !YuujiItadori who invites you over to his place so you guys can hang out, play video games, and watch horror or scary movies then laugh about them later and make fun of each others reactions. He’d definitely wear some corny cheesy PJ’s of his favorite movie/video game, or wear a “I paused my game to be here” shirt as a joke..

— !YuujiItadori who rants to you about his interests and comics he’s into, like DBZ, Naruto, Bleach, Etc..he loves reading manga and you like listening about it you think it’s cool on how he knows a lot of characters and plots that are interesting to hear about. He even recommends you some stuff to watch/listen to and you both end up chatting about it for hours!

— !YuujiItadori who probably makes you guys wear matching shirts for shits and giggles, it would say some dumb or corny shit that would probably annoy you..not ACTUALLY annoy you but probably make you wanna punch his chest and question why you’re his friend sarcastically, he knows you enjoy being his friend and that you two are extremely close.

— !YuujiItadori who isn’t able to come with you on Halloween due to a mission he’s sent on but he doesn’t tell you that because he doesn’t tell you anything about sorcerers or curses since you can’t see or know about them..but implies you guys can hang out the next time he’s free! He uses the excuse that he has to help Megumi with some personal stuff and he’ll definitely hang out with you as soon as he can.

— !YuujiItadori who isn’t able to control the curse inside him, Ryomen Sukuna. As Sukuna is going on a rampage killing off innocent people and stuff like that he notices you, he knows you’re close to Yuuji..he kills you in the most gruesome way making Yuuji watch as his own best friends body was being sliced, punctured, beaten by something he SWORE he could control.

— !YuujiItadori who is finally able to get to be in control of his body but it’s already too late, you’re gone. Your body is cold and he’s ruined. You were his best friend, a guy he could go to for ANYTHING. He’d try to shake you awake and try to look around for a medic or anyone that could help but everything around him was either burnt to a crisp or dead. Gone. It was pitch black but the moonlight dimly reflected on your body and he saw all the blood..the wounds..how your lifeless eyes were looking at him even though you were dead.

— !YuujiItadori who has a complete break down, who curses Sukuna meanwhile Sukuna is mocking and laughing at him. Mocking the words you were screaming out as Sukuna killed you, “Itadori! Please stop! I thought we were..friends..what are you doing?! STOP!!” He kept mentioning the way you screamed and other gruesome details. All Itadori could do was scream and cry holding onto the corpse that was once your body full of life.

— !YuujiItadori who was depressed for days, weeks, and perhaps even months. He couldn’t get over you..he would seem less happy and when he’d see things that you guys would talk about he’d slightly tear up or frown. Remembering all the memories the both of you shared, how you would always talk to him and hang out with him. He’d miss the times you both would spend with each other.

— !YuujiItadori who would text your phone number daily until it went to green and not delivered, someone else had your number now and he was completely devastated. The one last thing he could contact you with was gone, he’d even try to visit your gravestone and try to talk about the good times you both had. How you were his bestfriend and how he missed you so much. How he wish he could do a better job at controlling that damned curse inside him. He swore on everything it would NEVER happen again.

⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆

[mercillery]

I love your writings and I'd love to see more Julius, could I get a sfw alphabet with him?

WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + NOT PROOFREAD

NOTES: He’s so cute and angelic and beautiful and handsome and pretty and gorgeous and majestic and elegant and ravishing and lovely and stunning and charming and

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s the kind of guy who exudes a subtle, but unmistakable, affection when you're out and about. While he’s not one to engage in overly passionate displays of affection that make everyone else uncomfortable—like that couple you occasionally spot practically glued together and making out like it’s the end of the world—he has his own way of showing how much he cares. Picture that one guy you once saw casually strolling down the street, hand in hand with his partner, both of them laughing and clearly enjoying each other’s company. There's an easygoing joy about them, a visible connection that makes you think, "I wish I had that." That’s the kind of lover he is in public. He’s all about those little gestures that speak volumes—a squeeze of the hand, a playful nudge, a shared smile that tells a whole story.

When it’s just the two of you, though, he transforms into someone much more demonstrative. In private, his affection is boundless, almost overwhelming in its intensity. It's as if he has been saving up all his love for these quiet moments together. He can't seem to keep his hands off you, not that you’re complaining. He’s always seeking that physical connection, whether it's a gentle hand resting on your hip, his arm draped around your shoulders, or simply holding your hand. It's like he's drawn to you, unable to resist the pull.

For him, it’s almost like a necessity—a way to constantly reassure himself that you’re right there with him. The physical contact isn't just for show; it's a genuine expression of his feelings. When he's got his hands on you, he's happiest, feeling complete and content. Whether you’re curled up on the couch watching a movie or lying in bed whispering to each other, he’s always reaching out, making sure there’s no space between you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

As a best friend? Oh, he’s absolutely the type of best friend everyone should have at least once in their lives. Julius Novachrono is wise, strong, caring, and genuinely good-hearted. He possesses so many admirable qualities that having him in your life would be a game changer in so many ways. Your depression? Gone. Your anxiety? Practically non-existent. Most of your problems? Vanished. Having him as your best friend is not just a flex—it’s a life-altering experience. As your best friend, Julius would invite you on all sorts of magical adventures. His enthusiasm for exploring new magic is incredibly infectious. You’d find yourself looking forward to each new expedition, eager to uncover the secrets of magic and history with him. His vast knowledge would turn even the simplest conversations into fascinating discussions, leaving you both enlightened and inspired!

But it’s not just his wisdom and sense of adventure that make him an exceptional friend—Julius is also incredibly supportive. He’s always there to lift you up, whether you’re in need of encouragement or just a little bit of company. His constructive feedback and positive reinforcement would help you grow both as an individual and as a magic user, and his unwavering belief in your abilities would bolster your confidence, pushing you to achieve things you never thought possible. Overall, having Julius Novachrono as your best friend would be a positive experience!

As for how the friendship would start, it’s likely that he saw you using your magic and thought, “Woah, cool magic!” And then he approached you and you both just became besties from there.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Are you kidding? He loves cuddling!

Please hold him close and don't let go until he's practically out of breath. If there's one thing he loves more than wrapping you up in his arms, it's being enveloped in yours. He relishes those moments when he can rest his head on your lap, your shoulder, or anywhere on you. The feeling of your arms around him is his ultimate comfort, his sanctuary. He’s more than happy to set aside his responsibilities, forgetting all about the pile of papers waiting for him, just to be near you. And you can tell he genuinely doesn't mind, because to him, nothing compares to the warmth of your embrace. He completely surrenders to it, losing himself in the softness of your touch and the steady rhythm of your heartbeat. It's almost as if the world outside fades away when he's with you. His usual worries and duties become distant echoes, drowned out by the sheer pleasure of being held by you. Those moments are his escape, his bliss. If someone were to see him like this, completely at ease and utterly content in your arms, they might be astonished. They’d probably find it hard to believe that this relaxed, affectionate man is the Wizard King himself.

He doesn’t have a preferred cuddling position; he just goes for whatever he feels like. As long as you’re close to him in some way, he’s content.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Honestly, settling down isn’t something that occupies much space in his mind—at least not until he meets you. Before you came into his life, he was fairly indifferent about the whole idea. It wasn't something he actively opposed, but it wasn't something he spent time thinking about either. It was more of a "meh" concept for him, something he'd consider vaguely in the distant future, if at all. However, I can definitely see him embracing the role of a family man if the topic were to come up. If you were to broach the subject, he would genuinely give it some thought. He’s not the type to dismiss it out of hand, especially if it’s important to you. He’d weigh the idea carefully, reflecting on what it would mean for both of you and your future together. So when it comes to whether he wants to settle down or not, the answer is nuanced. It’s a maybe, a so-so, a “let’s see where life takes us” kind of thing. His feelings are flexible, and they’re shaped largely by the bond he shares with you. If settling down with you means building a future filled with love and companionship, then it’s definitely something he would consider.

Julius is decent at cooking. Could be better, but he’s still decent. Not much to say for this part.

He’s a decent cleaner too.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would handle the breakup with the utmost respect, maintaining his polite and considerate nature throughout the entire process. Even if you were to have a breakdown or blow up at him, he wouldn’t be upset in the slightest. He would fully understand your emotions and reactions, offering his empathy and support even as he’s ending the relationship. He knows how tough these moments can be and would never hold your feelings against you.

After the conversation concludes and you both come to terms with the end of the relationship, he will make it clear that he’s still there for you. He’d tell you that you’re always welcome to reach out to him if you need help or support, regardless of your new status as ex-partners. His kindness doesn’t stop with the breakup; he genuinely cares about your well-being and wants to ensure you’re okay even after you’ve gone your separate ways.

Overall, he’ll never harbor any anger or resentment toward you. Instead, he’ll continue to offer his support, showing you that his respect and care for you extend beyond the romantic relationship. It’s a testament to his character and the genuine regard he holds for you as a person. Even in the face of ending things, he remains a steadfast source of compassion and understanding. <3

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Julius is someone who approaches commitment with the utmost seriousness and thoughtfulness. He views commitment as a sacred bond, not just a promise. When he commits, he does so with his whole heart, fully devoted to and deeply invested in making the relationship work. He’s extremely dedicated, and he hopes you’ll bring the same level of dedication to the table. He also places a high value on trust and mutual respect, seeing these as the bedrock of any strong partnership. Without trust, he believes a relationship simply can't thrive. And so, he makes it a priority to foster an environment where you and him can feel secure and valued. He’s committed to treating you with the highest regard and hopes for the same in return, so please don’t let him down.

When it comes to the timeline for marriage, Julius approaches this decision with patience. He’s acutely aware of the significance of such a life-altering commitment and understands the importance of not rushing into it. He would want to be absolutely certain that both he and you are truly ready for this next step. He believes in letting the relationship develop naturally, allowing it to progress at its own pace—valuing the process of getting to know each other deeply and thoroughly before contemplating marriage. He’s not one to jump into things without being sure, so he’d ensure that the foundation of your relationship is solid and well-established.

However, once Julius feels confident in the relationship and is certain about the strength of your bond, he will embrace the idea of marriage wholeheartedly. With that being said, it’d likely take about 4-5 years of growing together and building a strong partnership before he decides it’s time to make things official.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

THE MOST GENTLE A MAN CAN BE. ❤️❤️❤️

Physically, he treats you like you’re made of the finest, most delicate glass. The kind of glass that, if you so much as breathe on it wrong, might shatter into a million pieces. He’s never firm with you, except in situations where your safety is at stake. In those rare moments, he might show a bit of firmness, but only out of sheer necessity to protect you. But once the danger passes? Back to treating you like the most precious thing in the world. He wouldn't dream of hitting you, pinching you, or even accidentally stepping on your foot. And if he ever does accidentally bump into you or causes you the slightest discomfort, you can be sure he’ll be apologizing profusely, practically on his knees. To sum it up, he’s a complete softie with you, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Emotionally, he treats you with the same level of care and consideration. He treats your feelings with the utmost care, as if they’re the most fragile thing he’s ever encountered. Please, bring all your problems to him. Whether it’s something minor like tripping on a rock or something more serious like feeling completely drained and unmotivated, he’s got your back. He’s there for every little worry, every concern, and every conflict. He'll listen, offer advice, or just be a shoulder to cry on—whatever you need. You name it, he’s there, always ready to help. No matter what’s plaguing your mind, he’s your number one supporter, utterly devoted to being as gentle and understanding as possible when it comes to your emotions.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves hugs as much as he loves cuddles, which I just discussed—meaning he absolutely does love them.

Honestly? He’s more of a hand-holding guy. It’s not that his hugs are rare; he just sometimes forgets that hugs are even a thing because he’s always holding your hand. And for him, that’s more than enough. There’s something about the simple act of holding your hand that he finds deeply satisfying. It’s his go-to gesture for showing affection and staying connected with you.

BUTTTTTTT, when he does remember to hug you, those hugs are something special. They’re gentle, warm, and comforting. He’s not the type to squeeze you until you’re gasping for air. Sure, he loves you a lot, but he’s not trying to turn you purple or anything. His hugs are all about making you feel safe and cherished, not squished and breathless. So, if you’re wondering whether his hugs are tight or gentle, they’re definitely on the gentle side. He knows how to give you that perfect, tender embrace that says “I love you” without making you feel like you’re in a wrestling match.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He would take his time to ensure that his feelings for you were genuine and deep before uttering those three magic words. So when he finally says, “I love you," it's a profound and meaningful moment, underscoring his commitment to the relationship.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He is prone to jealousy, but it’s a rare occurrence. He’s not the kind of guy who gets jealous just because another man is talking to you, walking alongside you, or sharing a laugh. That kind of thing doesn’t bother him at all. However, if he sees someone openly flirting with you, that’s when his jealousy kicks in. But even then, he usually keeps it under wraps. He doesn’t want to make a scene or make anyone uncomfortable. Instead, he waits for the right time when you’re alone together to bring it up—preferring to discuss his feelings privately.

When you’re alone and he voices his jealousy, he’s never rude or accusatory. He remains polite and respectful, hoping you’ll reassure him that your heart belongs to him alone. He trusts you, but he also wants to feel secure in your relationship. It’s important to him to talk things out rather than letting jealousy fester into anger or resentment.

To sum it up, he’s a man who believes in communication. When he’s feeling jealous, he’d rather have a calm, honest conversation with you than let it turn into something negative. He values your relationship too much to let jealousy get in the way!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are gentle—everything about him is gentle. When he kisses you, it’s like you can feel yourself melting from the tenderness and love in those moments. Most of the time, his kisses are soft pecks, but even these brief touches are packed with affection and care. Each kiss, no matter how quick, carries a weight of love that you can feel. And then, there are those rare moments when he gives you a deep, intense, and passionate kiss. That's when things start to heat up a bit. He becomes more handsy, drawing you closer, his touch growing more insistent and fervent. But that’s another topic for never, lol.

He loves to kiss you anywhere, as long as he can feel your skin against his lips. That's all he needs to be content. However, he wouldn't deny that kissing your hand feels the most intimate to him. It's his way of showing you a profound sign of respect and reverence, which makes it even more special for him. Every kiss, whether it’s on your forehead, cheek, or lips, carries his affection, but there’s something uniquely meaningful about those hand kisses.

He absolutely adores it when you pepper his face with kisses. His face practically begs for it. Every part of his face is fair game—cheeks, nose, forehead, you name it. He can't help but feel a delightful tingle shoot through him each time your lips touch his skin. With you so close, showering him with kisses, he can’t help but feel like a teenager with a big fat crush. It’s like he’s caught in a whirlwind of excitement and giddiness every time you lean in to kiss him. And let’s be real, he’s definitely making heart eyes at you whenever you do. To him, your kisses are like magic. So go ahead, shower his face in kisses—he'll be absolutely smitten every single time.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s an absolute angel, like an angel sent not just from the heavens but by God himself. His sweetness and caring nature shine through in every interaction, and his sunny disposition is enough to make a child's day brighter. It almost makes you want to see him as a father. He's incredibly patient and always nice, even when a child is a bit of a handful. And, of course, he’s the type who would secretly sneak in just one piece of candy for a kid, adding a touch of magic to their day. I can definitely picture him being adored by many children, his playful and kind nature making him a favorite among them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He loves to lay in bed with you for a few extra minutes before starting his day, savoring the time to cuddle and bask in the warmth of your embrace. Those quiet moments together are something he cherishes deeply, a perfect way to start his day before he dives into his Wizard King duties. If you’re a coffee person, he makes a mental note to prepare your coffee first thing in the morning. It’s a small gesture, but it’s his way of showing he cares about your little comforts. He’s all about making sure your day starts off right, whether that means a few extra cuddles or a perfectly brewed cup of coffee. That's just how he is, always thinking of the little things that make you happy.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

I have a very strong feeling that when sleeping with him, he always has to have an arm either around or on you—it’s like a subconscious need to keep you close. There’s not much else to say about how he is during the nights; he just sleeps like any other normal person, except for this habit. Oh, and he kinda snores loudly too. It's not exactly a quiet night, but somehow it’s endearing. And when he sleeps, he sleeps like a baby—completely at peace, relaxed, and sometimes even with a faint smile on his face. So, besides the gentle snores and the need to hold you close, he’s pretty much like anyone else when he’s catching some Z's. 💤

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

From the beginning, he'd be open about the general aspects of his life, such as his role as the Wizard King, his responsibilities, and his immense love for magic and understanding the world. These are the things that define him and what he’s passionate about, so he’d share them early on. However, when it comes to more personal and intimate details about his life, thoughts, and feelings, those will be shared gradually as your relationship with him deepens. There's nothing too unusual here; it’s all about letting things unfold at a natural, comfortable pace.

Julius isn’t the type to divulge everything all at once. He’d reveal aspects of his personal history, his fears, and his hopes gradually, allowing you to take in each piece of his story bit by bit. As the relationship grows, he’ll become increasingly open about more sensitive and personal topics. He understands that vulnerability is a vital part of intimacy, and he would want to share his true self with you, but only at an appropriate pace—a pace where he’s sure that you and him are comfortable. He’s aware that rushing this process can be overwhelming, so he takes it slow.

To sum it up, Julius would reveal things about himself gradually, allowing the relationship to develop naturally. It goes at a normal, appropriate pace—one that makes both you and him feel comfortable and connected!

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

The closest you’ve seen him to being angry is when he gets serious, which usually happens when there’s a threat or something urgent demanding his attention. But other than those moments, he’s never angry—especially not with you. He’d never dare raise his voice at you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers absolutely everything about you. It’s like he has a mental encyclopedia dedicated solely to you, where every fact and memory is meticulously stored away. He knows every little detail about you like he knows his way around magic—if not, better. He’s not the type to forget even the smallest detail about you. Whether it’s your favorite color, the name of your childhood pet, or the name of your plushie from when you were only a kid, he has it all locked away in his memory.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

This may sound basic, but his favorite moments in the relationship are simply every moment he spends with you—especially the ones where you’re just being together, sharing the same space. He finds immense comfort and joy in having you nearby, within his sights, knowing he can talk to you whenever he wants. Whether it’s to ramble about some fascinating new magic discovery or to vent about all the paperwork Marx is making him do, your presence is his sanctuary. It’s these simple, everyday moments he treasures most—the companionship, the shared smiles, and the effortless way you both fit into each other’s lives.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Julius is inherently protective, driven by his role as the Wizard King and his genuine care for the Clover Kingdom and its people. This protective nature isn’t just about physical safety—it extends to your emotional and mental well-being as well. He would go to great lengths to ensure that you feel secure, supported, and cherished at all times. He’s acutely aware of the dangers and challenges that exist in the world, and he takes his role as a protector seriously. However, he’s not the possessive type of protective. You never feel smothered or restricted by his concern; rather, you feel genuinely safe and at ease knowing he’s always looking out for you. His protection is about creating a space where you can thrive, feel loved, and be yourself without fear. Whether it’s standing guard against external threats or simply being there to listen and support you through life’s ups and downs, Julius ensures you always feel secure and cared for!

He protects you in every and any way he can. Just trust me when I say that he’d go far and beyond to ensure your safety—whether it’s emotional, mental, or physical.

He doesn’t need much protection, but he won’t stop you if you want to protect him. He’ll gladly let you shield him in any way you can, as long as it doesn’t harm you in the process. Your desire to protect him is something he deeply appreciates, and he finds it incredibly touching. However, when it comes to physical danger, he might draw the line. The last thing he wants is for his beloved to get injured while trying to protect him. He’s grateful for your courage and love, but he’d much rather be the one to take any hits in battle. It’s his way of ensuring your safety, which is his top priority. But outside of physical confrontations, he’s more than happy to let you protect him in any way you wish. Whether it’s offering emotional support, helping him navigate stressful situations, or simply being there for him, he values and welcomes your protection. Just remember, he wants you to stay safe and sound, too.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’s the epitome of effort and devotion. Julius is definitely not the type to forget anniversaries, skimp on gifts, or neglect everyday tasks that show how much he cares. He pours his heart and soul into making you happy, going above and beyond to ensure that every moment you spend together is filled with joy and love. Whether it’s planning a surprise anniversary dinner, selecting the perfect gift that he knows will light up your face, or simply taking care of the little things that make your day brighter, he’s always thinking of ways to show his love and appreciation for you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

None. He’s perfect.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not too concerned about his appearance. When passing by a mirror or anything reflective, he’ll quickly glance at it to make sure he doesn’t have anything on his face. It’s more of a quick check to ensure he’s not inadvertently walking around with something like a piece of food stuck at the corner of his mouth or something—just to ensure everything looks presentable. But beyond that, he's not one to obsess over his appearance or spend hours in front of the mirror. He’s comfortable in his own skin.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. Julius would indeed feel incomplete without you. If he found the one (you), he'd be deeply attached. If something were to happen to you, he wouldn’t be able to simply move on. You would consume his thoughts incessantly, leaving an irreplaceable void in his heart. Losing you would be like him losing a part of himself.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Loves stargazing and baking with you!

There's something incredibly serene and tranquil about those quiet, nightly moments spent under the vast expanse of the night sky. It's in those moments that he finds solace and peace, especially when he's sharing them with you. He delights in spending hours identifying constellations, tracing the paths of shooting stars, and pondering the mysteries of the celestial bodies scattered across the heavens. And of course, he can’t help but ramble on about all of this to you. It’s like his own personal astronomy lecture, but with the added bonus of your company.

He also enjoys baking with you because it’s just so much fun! Especially when you’re trying out a new recipe or tackling something a bit more challenging. He’s the type of guy who’ll playfully smear a bit of dough on your face just for the fun of it, and then can’t help but giggle at the sight. Before you know it, what started as innocent baking quickly turns into a full-blown food fight in the kitchen!!! Flour flying, frosting splattering—it’s chaos, but it’s the most enjoyable kind of chaos. He’s not afraid to get a little messy and let loose, especially when it means making such fun memories with you.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Julius wouldn’t be drawn to someone who is inherently evil. He seeks someone with a warm and good-hearted nature, someone who embodies empathy and treats others with respect and kindness. Even if someone may come across as naturally mean or tough on the surface, as long as they possess a kind heart deep down, Julius would appreciate that. He believes in the power of redemption and the potential for people to change for the better. However, he has no tolerance for those who are callous or lack empathy towards others.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

I think I answered this question already in section N, lol. But I have a very strong feeling that he sleeps in these:

[knyontop]

Hello! Hope you're having a good day! And I was wondering if the creepypastas could react to your death but if you're a child pasta? Like say it's from a bullet wound since the enemy defended themselves? Take your time:)

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

ONG IM SO EXCITED FOR THISSS

Creepypasta x Child!reader.

Tw: gore, depression and stuff, starving, self sabotage, and other stuff.

Ft: Jeff the killer, Sally, Ticci toby, Ben drowned, Nina the killer, and our beautiful, amazing, handsome, reader.

Jeff:

・He doesn’t know what to say, he only feels anger. Rage.

・The rage of Jeff the killer is something I hope my worst enemy never experiences😭

・He will not sleep until he finds whoever killed you, he will go to the depths of hell to find them.

・He cant even think straight when looking for them the only thing he wants to do is kill.

・he starts to isolate himself from everything and everyone, he will just sit in his room or just go out and kill.

・he killings are much more brutal from the anger.

・taking all his anger and emotion out on his victims.

・cry laughing while he carves em’ up.

・he thought he would be happy if you just randomly disappeared or something but I guess not. ☹️

・He lost his some what friend and sibling.

・He will drink, and drink, and maybe drink some more and drink while killing.

・This just makes him less of human then he already was. He cant do it, he just cant.

・He still refuses to say he cares about you btw. (We all know the truth)

・”Damit kid… you dumbass. Why did you have to die?”

Ben:

・Life is all fun and games to him, playing pranks on people, killing people, torturing people, just the usual!

・This news just hits him like hes being drowned all over again. Hes panicking, feeling like he cant breathe, just losing it.

・Hes glitching all over the place, saying its not true, its not true. You cant be dead! NO YOU JUST CANT!

・Please come back.

・Please just come back.

・He doesn’t find video games fun anymore. He doesn’t annoy people like he used to. He gets more aggressive with his pranks.

・He like jeff takes his anger out on his victims, getting all his anger and frustration out.

・he just wants you back. Please. Come back. Come. Back. Now.

・Hes more glitchy and on edge now, you were like his dumb, little sibling.. but your gone now.

・He just doesn’t get why kids are always the ones who have to suffer, why did you have to die? Your just a kid. You shouldn’t have been dragged into this mess.

・”W-W-Why d-did you h-have to die… y-y-your just a k-k-kid im so sorry.”

Toby:

・oh, oh this poor boy. Hes already lost his older sister, imagine what this is like.

・The worse part is he was there when it happened, and he couldn’t protect you. He couldn’t protect you. HE COULD NOT PROTECT. YOU.

・He will never forgive himself this is like Lara all over again. He cant do this anymore.

・He will eat less and less, just sit in bed. Having random outbursts in the middle of the day, just breaking down absolutely losing it. But who can blame him? Everyone missed you.

・Toby just wished he could have died instead of you, its not fair.

・Hes mad at you, hes mad at himself, hes mad at everyone. Hes now more violent then ever. Hes easy to anger, just everything.

・Hes over here lashingout at everyone, even sally!

・oh and you have no idea how this has affected sally. Omg. 😭

Sally:

・oh this poor sweet baby :C

・She just cries, cries and cries and cries.

・You helped heed forget about all the bad, she had someone to care for and someone to care for her. But your gone now.. why?

・She just misses you so much, shes mad at the world for this. Shes mad at Slender and even Mr. Charlie!

・Sally is now more clingy then ever. She needs more attention and starts to get more “annoying” to everyone.

・visitsyour grave everyday to have tea partys with you, like old times yk? She cant go there without crying.

・She misses when you would brush her hair and tell her about your mission and how there head would go splat splat splat! The sound is so silly to her!

・Sally just wants you back! She wants her parents back, she wants everything back!

Nina:

・Nina is no longer her sadistic silly self.

・She doesn’t have anyone to rant to anymore, she doesn’t have anyone to practice shots on, she doesn’t have anyone to try make up looks on! Her little sibling is gone again! Just like she lost her little brother.

・She didn’t trust herself with you, she thought she would hurt you like she hurt her little brother. But you just ended up hurting her…

・Nina just like toby starts to pass on food, she literally loves food tho! But she just cant anymore…

・”You were my best friend and now.. and now your gone.”

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

[mer-acle]

i hold all the power (evil laugh, evil laugh)

Give me...

The big athena hcs

I desire knowledge and inspiration (evil laugh, evil laugh)

Haha

You kinda put me on the spot there. Not bc I don't have big headcanons but bc I'm like how do I phrase this without being like "here's the plot of that fic I wrote" yk? And now I'm unsure what constitutes a big headcanon... so I'm just gonna give you some more random ones and maybe you can help me out with what you were thinking of? (O.O)

For Epic specifically: Her owl form is a dark barn owl, bc they're really pretty and rare and have ginger feathers that match her hair

She dislikes Poseidon so much because he's so much like her father but her perception of him isn't softened by the love she has for Zeus.

Prometheus really saved her after Pallas's death. He kinda filled the void that losing Triton as a paternal figure had left more so than that of Pallas herself, but he took her along for his little creation projects (like the humans whoops) and they really match each other's freak. Yk. Until Zeus takes Prometheus away and definitely forbids Athena from visiting. I will literally murder him one of these days.

Speaking of Zeus taking people away, Athena was STRUGGLING after Pallas. Unsurprisingly, but still. Nobody but Hephaestus knows her from when she was still pretty openly mourning, they're all too young, and he never really asked why, but my girl was so depressed and lonely. She spend IRL HOURS in Quick Thought rewatching that battle and trying to figure out the moment where she went wrong. She knows Zeus intervened, but it doesn't matter to her, it's her spear, it's her kill. He was all like "for a nymph?" when she asked to take Pallas's name. "well, if you think that is a title worthy of your status..." It was her most open rebellion against his wishes for a while.

Her favorite domain is wisdom, but it's followed by crafting, not war. Don't get me wrong, she enjoys a good fight, but if she had to choose and wasn't worried about Zeus's opinion, she would choose crafting over war any day. The reason in my hc is how the domains are assigned, she was basically born with Wisdom, her powers are all about thought, and Zeus later assigned her with warfare which her powers work well with, but weren't technically meant for it. Meanwhile crafting is her "Passion domain" meaning her power in it literally stems from her intense enjoyment for creating. Imagine "What else can I do" from Encanto, but it's her discovering making clothes for the first time. The angst factor of this obviously being "My life has one mission, create the greatest warrior" Why is that her one mission? Is it the crushing weight of who she has to be?

My favorite bigger concept has to be her relationship with truth. In other words, Athena lies and manipulates her way through life, she is smarter than her father but knows he holds the power, so her council is whatever works in the moment, if she knows it's hopeless, she'll tell him what he wants to hear. Life has become a game for her, a game where she sells her soul for approval, bc she's lost those who loved her unconditionally, and can't trust those around her bc they're all trapped in the game with her, she doesn't want to be the favorite, she needs to be the favorite, it's the only way to survive, the only way for some semblance of safety and control, and yes, she gets along with mortals better than gods because they hold no power over her, they can't threaten the position she's worked so hard to achieve. Until Odysseus compromises a part of her that she hadn't thought she still had. Attachment never felt like danger with Pallas, but it does now, because what does it matter if you're more powerful when you respect the other person too much not to honor their wishes, should they tell you to leave them alone? If asked, she will have to leave, and that's terrifying (None of that would be overly conscious before My goodbye but for me, that breakup deep down always will be Athena being scared of her own feelings and trying to stop it before it goes too far and being at least 15 years too late.)

Woah that got dark lol I just wrote the last section and was like 👀fuck I am projecting SO bad. Like... gods I am so not okay. Jokes on me I thought I had headcanons all I have is trauma lmao

Anyways lol

Hope you liked it, and do let me know if you had something else in mind, I'll do my best :3

[txtmetonight]

Sick ✆

call summary ⋆ ★ You hate being sick. But at least Jay is there to save the day.

pairing *. * Park Jongsong x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★ fluff

warnings *. Extreme fluff lol

call duration⋆ ★ 1.8k

a/n*. * I'm so stupid omg. I accidentally queued this to this morning before I even finished it and it was published omgomgomg. if you saw this earlier no you didn't. remember to like and reblog!!

taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet

You’re sick. And you hate it.  

Your nose is sniffly and red, and you’re in dying need of something to cool you down before you pass out. And your teacher’s constant talking isn’t really helping your ever-growing headache that was starting to sprout. You suppose that it was caused by playing out in the rain yesterday—even after Jay told you not to because you would be sick—but you would hate to admit that because then that would prove that your best friend was right. 

Jay was somehow always eerily right though. Like when he said that you liked him as a joke while playing a truth or dare game—he thought that he was fibbing in purely comedic fashion, but your wide eyes and everyone else’s shocked faces said something else. 

Blowing a stand of hair from your face, your cheeks feel hot when you place them down onto your arms, slightly groaning as the feverish feeling sends chills down your spine. Your notes were starting to become rather illegible as you tried to write down whatever was on the board, but you eventually gave up. 

“Y/n, are you okay?” Chaewon pokes your side with her pencil, receiving no response from your end. “(Y/n)? Helloooo?” You don’t even murmur, instead opting to ignore her. You felt like you were on fire. 

“Oh, hey Jay!” Chaewon exclaims excitedly, making you shoot your head and knock down your water bottle to greet the boy, only to find him not there and half the class staring at you for the ruckus you created. The teacher in his pointed glasses glares at you too, and you gulp down in your seat to avoid his killer eyes while pinching your friend in the thigh angrily. She swats at your hand without making much movement. The older man just sighs and returns to his lesson, prompting you to turn to the girl and scold her quietly. 

"Chae, what the hell?!” 

She shrugs her shoulders and just giggles. “You weren’t answering me.” You roll your eyes and sigh as another wave of sickness jerks your body—you're starting to feel as though the room is starting to spin. Chaewon furrows her brows at your behavior before she places the back of her hand on your neck, wincing when her touch feels too hot to be normal. “You’re burning up. (Y/n) You should go to the nurse.” 

You nod sadly at her and slowly gather your supplies. “I guess so.” 

When you finally scooch out of your chair and very timidly ask the teacher to go to the nurse (which he then sends you a very nasty look once more), you carefully lug your bookbag with you in a very depressing manner, as if your back were severally hunched over and your feet were dragged on the floor. Still, you were determined to go home and take a much-needed rest, but with the halls moving side to side, you’re not really sure if you could take another step without crumpling down in a heaped mess. 

And thankfully, someone must have heard your prayers because suddenly a rather warm hand wraps itself around your waist and holds you upright. The hold is familiar, and even in your dazed state, you find yourself recognizing the tight grip on you, stumbling back from the rush of butterflies in your stomach. 

“Let’s get you to the nurse without fainting.” 

You let him drag you to the nurse without many complaints, sinking very well into his tender comfort as you sway back and forth. You slightly giggle when he grumbles underneath his breath, reprimanding you from last night. “You never listen to me,” he sighs. “And now I have to go take care of you.” 

“Who said that you had to take care of me? I can take care of myself just fine.” You whine. He laughs quite mockingly at you before he loosens his grip just a little. “Right, so if I let you go completely, you would be able to walk fine?” 

You shake your head furiously and pinch his biceps. You’re sure you could, but it wouldn’t do much harm if you stayed a tad bit closer to him just for a while, no? 

“You’re such a baby,” he chimes, but he leaves you be until you both get to the waiting room. The nurse is in her appointed chair, and then she looks up at you two when the bell above gently dings, letting her know of her new patients. 

“Yes, how may I help you two?” Jay doesn’t even let you open your mouth to let you speak. "She's sick.” The lady, well over her middle age, saunters over and pats at the firm mattress as she drags over her thermometer. Your best friend very carefully lets you sit on the green bed, and your cheeks seem to flush a little more when you realize that his fingers on your waist haven’t left you yet. 

“Open your mouth—oh, the phone.” 

The phone rings just in time, and you curiously watch as the nurse apologizes with her face and picks up the loud tone, holding the device to her ear. Seconds go by, and her face seems to contort into worry in the middle of her blabbering towards what you suppose is another teacher before she cuts the call rather harshly and stands up to her full height, grabbing a first aid kit that was just below her desk. 

She then faces you and Jay. “I am so extremely sorry. Gosh, another student had just busted his head open!” Your eyes grow wide at her ramble, exchanging glances with the boy next to you. “If you’re truly sick, because you do look paler than normal, I figure that you could go home. Just check her temperature, I suppose. Do you have anyone to pick you up?” 

Your parents had (un)fortunately left you home alone for the week for an important business trip to come. And so, you shake your head. “No–” 

“It’s fine, I can take her home. It’s almost the end of the school day.” 

Turning towards him in his arms, you question him, but he just smiles smugly at you and shrugs his shoulders. The nurse, who seemed in a very quick hurry, doesn’t say anything but instead writes you two an excused note before she’s on her way, closing the door shut in her wake, and a silence consumes the room as you stare at her tray of peppermints. You thought Jay was too, yet when you turn to look at him, his gaze lies on you. Your stomach flips. 

“Well, aren’t you supposed to check my temperature or something?” You ask, fiddling with the string of your cardigan. “Oh right…” He very quickly (in a red face that you don’t notice) brings up his hand to your forehead but halts it just before he touches you. 

"Wait, hold on, I saw another way that should be more accurate.” 

His fingers move to your chin, which he very gently squeezes, and then he places his other hand on top of yours for stability, which he finally (before you can even chide him about his weird credibility) lets his forehead land on against yours, crushing your wrist when you both stare at each other. 

You’re going to pass out. 

He’s close—like super close—as he nudges your head a little bit more, and you feel like your heart is thrumming loudly against your chest, your face is heating up even more, and you assume that you look like you’ve fallen into a clutter of bashfulness.

Jay’s cologne invades your senses while your nails seem to dig into your back more, but not once does he flinch, choosing to let his eyes flicker down to your lips just before he smiles softly. 

“You definitely have a fever.” He then pulls himself off you as if whatever stunt he just pulled was just completely normal. You’re not sure if you’re going crazy, but your gut seems to be riding its own roller-coaster—words that you’ve meant to confess on the tip of your tongue while you stare at him weakly. 

Jay’s going to be the death of you. 

"What the–where did you–huh?” 

“I told you; I saw it online. And you’re for sure running a fever. Let’s go.” He tucks his hands under your arms and makes it his priority once more to safely guide you back home, only this time his words consisted of promising you to make his infamous chicken noodle soup. 

By the time that you both made it back to your house, there was sweat running down your back, and as you panted in exhaustion from either fighting off the fever or walking, your eyelids drooped heavier and heavier with each passing second. 

“Jayyyy” You whine, sighing, when you hand him the keys. He unlocks the door with his one free hand and quickly makes a beeline to your room, muttering apologies for trespassing just before he enters.

He’s fast when he’s determined and always has been; his eyebrows furrowed, his lips casted into a slight frown—he’s utterly too handsome for you. In a daze, you watch him bring over a cold washcloth to put on your head, and for some reason, your heart seems full of him—and you realize that it’s always been filled to the brim for him to take. You’re in love. And ill. 

“How’d you know to find me in the hallway earlier?” You ask, your eyes closing when his warm hands lightly pats your cheeks. You can practically see him smiling even with your eyes shut while he proceeds to run his knuckles up and down your collarbone. “I dunno. I think it was my (Y/N) senses.” 

You weakly grin at him as you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper into a sense of comfort—into the awaiting arms of sleep. Jays knows too, and he places a chaste kiss on your ring finger. “Go to sleep, pretty; I’ll be here when you wake up.” You nod into his touch and a sudden urge of words spill from your mouth.

“Jay I really like you...” 

The boy stiffens, his pupils fluttering between your eyes and lips to the point where they break into another round of silly giggling. You’re cute, you really are, and so he can’t help but linger close to where he wants to kiss you. 

"Hmmm, I think I need to check your temperature again. I have another way, though. Will you let me try it?” 

You snort, “Did you find it online again?” 

“Maybe…” He softly settles his lips against yours, not caring once that you were sick. It’s light and mellow, and you feel an air of love and adoration when he pulls back, hovering just above you. “Am I still sick?” 

He tilts his head. “I can’t tell for sure. I’ll check again when you wake up.”

[carmensbloggg]

976-EVIL

ᯓ★ j. maybank x female (kook) reader

synopsis : jj has been obsessed with reader since the moment he first saw her. one day he plucks up the courage to talk to her, to his surprise, all goes well !!

warnings : use of y/n, language, all in 2nd person, not proofread

a/n : i love jj x kook reader so much they have my whole heart

Crack a smile and wave

It doesn't scare me away

Hit the brakes

I feel like cruising with you too

“Look, it’s your girl,” Kie half jokes as she points towards you walking into The Wreck. JJ’s head immediately snaps up to look at the pretty girl that had just walked in.

The first time he ever saw you was on your way back home from school. He could tell because you were still dressed in your uniform; skirt rolled short, socks pulled up to your knees, tie wrapped perfectly. Everything about you looked so flawless. There was one thing though, your mascara had run down your cheeks, your eyes were glossy and your nose was red. You had bumped into him and were quick to apologise as he helped stabilise you. You were gone as quick as you came and he thought he would never see you again.

Boy was he wrong.

The second time he saw you was at a kegger on the boneyard. You were with your friends at the shore, anyone looking at you would see you all were clearly intoxicated. JJ wasn’t looking at your friends though, he was only focused on the light pink dress that adorned your curves. Your plush thighs that were on display, your tits that almost spilled out the top of your dress. Your platform flip flops that made you appear taller, only by a few inches. Your lip gloss that reflected in the moonlight as you laughed with the girls around you. You shook some hair away from your face, allowing it to flow freely in the wind. He thought you were the most pretty girl he had ever seen as he kept a close eye on you. He had no intention whatsoever of going over to you and introducing himself, you were drunk and probably wouldn’t even remember him. His eyes remained on you the whole night, making sure no one approached you and that you were safe.

The third time he saw you was at Midsummers. John B had told him to give a note to Sarah Cameron, and you being a kook was there too. You were crying, once again, and running away from Ben Madden. JJ watched as Ben tried consoling you and failed as you slapped him and ran out the doors into the house, assumingly going home. He wanted to help you, he really did, but he knew you wouldn’t want a pogue like himself to calm you down.

And that brings us to the fourth time, right now at The Wreck. He should’ve expected it honestly, where else would a kook girl go on a Saturday? Nevertheless, he enjoyed your presence and the ability to watch you. His friends however, do not enjoy when JJ watches you. Pope has told him countless times that his ‘need to protect you’ is not healthy and Kie just hates that you distract him so much from their plans without even knowing. John B doesn’t seem to care, but he does get annoyed from time to time when JJ ignores him. Obviously the boy doesn’t mean to do it on purpose, you’re just so captivating.

“JJ,” Kie sighs before Pope chimes in. “Are you ever going to actually talk to her? Or just stare at her whenever she’s around,” Pope asks rhetorically, every one of course knowing the answer. “I can’t talk to her, she’d probably get scared and walk away, and then everyone would know JJ Maybank has no game,” his head rests in his hands as sadness makes itself clear on his face. “This is depressing,” Pope deadpans and JJ lays his head on the table.

Just as silence falls over the table, John B catches you looking towards JJ. “JJ, dude, look up,” he shakes his friend, making sure you’re still looking. Confusion washes over your features as John B tries so desperately to get JJ to lift his head up. JJ reluctantly raises his head and groans a “what,” to John B, who simply nods in your direction. Thankfully you’re still looking at JJ and the confusion washes away when he smiles and waves at you. You softly smile back and wave to him before returning to your own conversation, occasionally sharing more glances with the blonde a few tables over from you.

“JJ Maybank has game after all,” JJ smiles to himself. “You should talk to her,” Kie pushes him, only to be turned down. “I can’t, she’s with her friends,” he makes up an excuse. “Who cares? Go on, go,” John B pushes further, until he eventually gives in and walks over to your table.

He stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before clearing his throat. Your conversation comes to a halt at the suddenness of his presence. “Hi,” you smile softly up at him. “Hi,” he chokes out. No one says anything and you’re left making eye contact for a few seconds before you decide to speak up. “Is everything okay?” you nervously laugh a little at his shyness. “Oh, shit- sorry yeah, um a few minutes ago I smiled and waved at you and you smiled and waved back,” he begins to explain. “Yeah,” you smile and nod, recalling the moment shared. “And uh, now you’re talking to me so I was just wonderin’ if I scared you, but I’m guessing I didn’t because you’re still here,” his nervousness radiates through his tone. “You’re asking if you’re scary?” you almost laugh at the poor boy. He hesitantly nods, only now realising he had no plan whatsoever with this. “Scary? You? Not a chance pretty boy,” you giggle, surprised a little at your sudden boldness. A light red hue takes over his face as he slowly nods. “Can I get your number?” he manages to get out, he’s not really sure how though, the only thing in his mind is your words. “Mhm, of course,” you smile as you write your number on a napkin and hand it to him. “Thank you,” he says as he makes his way back over to his fiends.

“JJ Maybank has game after all,” he repeats as he waves the napkin in the pogue’s faces.

After about 15 minutes, your friends decide to leave, but not you. Confidence surges through you as you make your way over to the blonde pogues table, already planning the words in your head.

“Um, hi,” you nervously state to him and his friends. They all greet you, JJ being the last to do so. You recognised Kiara, you were friends with her during her kook year. “I was wondering if maybe I could go home with you tonight? If that’s okay with you of course,” you ask JJ, expecting a no in return. “Uh, sure, yeah, that’s fine, the house might be a little messy though,” he warns you. “That’s okay, messy is good,” you nod, being reminded of your own house which always looks like it was bought yesterday.

Obviously JJ isn’t going to take you back to his own house, god knows what his dad would do or say. The Chateau is really his only option here. “Yeah, of course, come on, we’re going now anyway,” he smiles, getting up from his seat and taking you out into the Twinkie.

“JB you okay to drive?” JJ questions as he throws John B the keys. The boy just nods and you and JJ get in the back. He slings an arm around your shoulder before introducing you to his friends. “So, that’s John B, that’s Pope and you already know Kie,” he points them all out and you nod along, saying hi to each one.

Eventually you make it to ‘JJ’s house’ and you’re shown to the guest bedroom JJ’s room, where both you and JJ sit on the bed. “Pretty nice house,” you comment, looking around. “It’s actually not mine, it’s John B’s, he just lets me crash here,” JJ admits to you. “Oh, do you think he would mind if I stay the night?” you ask, not really wanting to go home. “Probably not, he doesn’t really care,” the boy nods as you both slip into mindless conversation about anything and everything to do with your lives. It’s somehow so easy to talk to someone with such different life experiences than your own. JJ tells you all about his dad and how he and John B became friends and you talk about how your mother is so controlling and your parents fell out of love way before they even had you. JJ sympathises with you about every sad experience you’ve had, and you do the same for him.

After some time you both decide it’s probably best to go to sleep and find comfort in each other’s arms. It’s pretty safe to say the two of you fell in love a little more beyond physical attraction.

a/n pt2 : i don’t really get down with the ending but it’s gonna have to do 😭

[xo-hugs-n-kisses-ox]

Rumination

Ruminate

(v.) To think about something deeply

After Edward left her, Bella Swan fell apart. Desperate to try and save his eldest daughter, Charlie brings his youngest daughter to Forks to see if she can bring her sister out of her depression.

Now, y/n must try to help her sister find her way back to the light while also trying to navigate her Junior year of high school in the odd town of Forks.

---

Chapter Nine: Ultimatums

Now Playing: Twilight by bôa

Warnings: cursing, mentions of blood, spiders, mentions of fighting, reader has beef w/ Edward

Bella and I had an icy silence between the two of us. Jacob refused to talk to her after she chose Edward. I didn’t blame him. I felt betrayed, too, that my sister would choose him and his family over her own flesh and blood.

Well, she won’t be made of flesh and blood for much longer, I thought bitterly.

Charlie tried to get us to talk about it. Neither of us could without revealing the secret about vampires.

Sometimes, I think about telling Charlie about them just to spite my sister. I don’t, though. It would put him in too much danger, and that’s only if he believed me, which was doubtful.

I spent most of my time at Emily’s. The spare room was entirely mine now, and Sam had hung up decoration for me.

“This is as much your home as it is ours,” he had told me. I’m embarrassed to admit that I cried.

Jacob and I were closer than ever. Paul and I were still distant and icy. I didn’t have the energy to fight with him, and he kept his distance. I had explained as much as I could to Max about why I had been ignoring him, and we had made up about it. Sort of.

He was still sore about it, but he accepted the fact that I had things I just couldn’t tell him.

---

Emily’s house felt more like home to me than my actual house did. I could express my worries and hurt without fear of putting anyone in danger, and the house wasn’t accessible to vampires. It made me feel better.

I had just come back from a shift at Roy’s when I stumbled in, kicking off my shoes and collapsing face first into the couch to fall asleep.



---

I was avoiding going home, so we went to La Push. The boys played various games along the shore, and I was collecting shells and pretty rocks.

Leah was walking with me. She didn’t say anything, and I was grateful. After a while, Seth bounded up and held his hands out.

“Look!” He said, laughing, “Look what I’ve got!”

Curious, I peered at his cupped hands only to see a massive, hairy spider peering back at me.

I shrieked, stumbling backwards in my attempt to get away from the nasty thing. Leah stopped me from falling by grabbing me under my arms, but I continued to scramble away. Seth laughed and chased me with the damn thing, and I’ve never run faster in my life.

I sprinted back to Sam and Emily, ducking around Jacob and Paul as I made my escape through their game of football.

“Knock it off, Seth!” I demanded as I used Jared as my personal shield. Seth grinned, lunching forward. I shirked again, shooting backwards.

Paul picked Seth up around his torso, hauling him over his shoulder.

“Quit tormenting Y/n before she kicks your ass,” He warned, “She’s the one who helps make your food, and Emily’s not immune to bribes from her.”

Seth only giggled, dropping the spider down into the sand. I hastily backed up further from the scuttling creature as it hurried over to the brush.

---

Bella’s going to Florida with Edward. He got the tickets per my suggestion to try and get my sister to change her mind. If she was a vampire, she couldn’t see Renee and Phil in Florida. She couldn’t be in the sunshine. I hoped it would help.

---

Bella and Jacob were talking again. It was a relief. Maybe he could help change her mind, since going to Jacksonville didn’t.

During my shift at Roy’s, my thoughts were filled with ways I could possibly get my sister to want to stay human. All of them revolved around Edward leaving again, but I knew it was too late for that to happen again.

I was walking to my truck when I saw a familiar face standing beside it.

Paul was leaning against the driver’s side door, his burly arms crossed over his chest. I tossed him the keys after unlocking the car, sliding into he passenger’s seat and waiting.

I wasn’t mad at him anymore. Not like I had been. The closest thing I was feeling was disappointment. He still didn’t apologize, not verbally, at least. It had pissed me off to no end that he refused to say the two little words that would fix everything, but Emily had made me rethink my anger.

Bella had just gotten back from Italy. All the guys were out patrolling. Seth and Leah were hanging out with us at the house.

Paul and I had gotten into another argument where both of us were being pigheaded only to annoy the other. He had stormed off in one direction, and I had gone the opposite way he did. Emily had come to find me.

“What are you so upset about?” She asked calmly, sitting behind me to braid my hair.

“He won’t acknowledge that he’s wrong!” I had said, and she had just hummed.

“You want him to say that he was wrong in his actions?” She asked, and I opened my mouth to respond. She continued before I could, “But were you not also wrong?”

I paused, thinking.

Sighing, I answered, “We’re both wrong.”

“Then what is it that you want from him?” She asked, always a voice of reason. I was quiet for a long minute as I tried to come up with an answer.

“I want him to say sorry.” I said at last, “I want him to apologize. And before you say anything, I won’t apologize first. He started this issue and he keeps starting shit. I’ll only apologize if he does first.”

She was quiet as she sectioned my hair out, running her fingers through it slowly.

“He has never been good with words,” she told me, and I laughed mirthfully, “He has always been someone who pays attention more to actions. He may never say he’s sorry, his pride might not allow for it at times, but he always shows what he feels.”

In the months following that discussion, I had payed more attention to his actions. We still argued, insults were still thrown, but my anger fizzled out quickly.

When he had made a jab about Bella that had pissed me off enough that I stormed off, he saved me dinner. The plate had the best parts of whichever foods we were eating that night, taken from his own plate and given to me.

He had made a snide comment about Max, and I had spat back about having a life outside of the pack. He had been the one to storm out, then, but I woke up to movie tickets on my bedside table. The note on them wrote, “Since you have a life, allegedly.”

He was still an ass, and he was still moody with a hair-trigger temper, but I was slowly starting to see beyond it again.

I didn’t want to apologize before he did. He was prideful, but so was I.

So I did what he did for me.

I pissed him off by making a dig about his capabilities and helpfulness a few weeks ago. As an apology, I convinced Emily to make wings for dinner since they were his favorite. He had looked at me oddly when I put the plate down in front of him, but I didn’t say anything and neither did he.

He and I argued in the car about my bring a burden to him, and how he should just leave if he was so bothered. It resulted in him slamming the door and storming off into the woods. I brought an entire chocolate pie back from Roy’s for him.

I supposed that if he was an ass, I was, too.

---

I was sitting with Emily and Seth in the living room, watching old movies while the rest of the pack were out patrolling.

Seth was sitting in front of me on the floor as I put his hair into elaborate styles Renee used to put my hair into. Emily had just come back with the popcorn when Embry and Quil dragged Paul into the house. Both of them looked fine, but Paul’s face was cut open and his hands were split.

“What happened?” Emily demanded as I stood to go get the first aid kit from the kitchen.

I came back to the living room and found Paul refusing to let Emily near him, “It’s going to heal anyway, quit fussing!”

Still relatively intolerant to his bullshit, I grabbed him by his wrist and dragged him to the kitchen. He let me pull him along, snagging a chair from the dining table to sit on. I grabbed a wash cloth and wet it with warm water, carefully cleaning up his face.

“What happened?” I asked quietly, dabbing away the trickling blood from his brow.

“We were chasing the redhead, and she kept jumping between our land the Cullen’s,” he explained, “The big one followed her onto our land and I got him off. Cut my face in the process.”

I pursed my lips, but didn’t say anything.

I turned around to grab the disinfectant and dabbed a q-tip into it, tracing it along the cuts on his face. It ran from his hairline down to his brows, cutting across his nose and down across his lips. Already, the bleeding had stopped and the skin was ever so slowly closing. His hands were more or less just scraped up, already healed from his accelerated healing.

I assume the one who broke the treaty by leaping over the creek was Emmett. He was by far the largest of the Cullens, tall and wide almost like Jared was. He was nice enough any time he dropped Bella off back at the house. He almost reminded me of Embry, playful and excitable. But despite his intentions, he had broken the treaty.

“Emmett broke the treaty,” I said aloud, voicing my thoughts as my eyes focused on Paul’s, “What does this mean going forward?”

He shrugged, “It’ll have to be renegotiated, most likely. We don’t want an all out war since Victoria’s still loose and on our turf, and neither do they.”

I nodded, feeling weary.

Paul went to sleep on the couch after I cleared him. I cleaned up the cloth and tissue I had used, putting the first aid kit back where I found it. I, too, went to sit on the couch. Paul moved his legs when he saw me coming, settling them into my lap when I was comfortable.

Jacob came back after lunch. He had been talking to Bella, he said, and reported that Edward was trying to keep her in the dark about Victoria in the name of “protecting her.”

I took a deep breath, pulling out my phone. I dialed his number, waiting.

He picked up on the third ring, and I didn’t wait for him to speak.

“Either you keep my sister in the know, or I do it for you, Edward.” I told him flatly, “Which do you prefer? You can sugar coat it to hell for all I care, but we both know that I won’t.”

He was silent for a long moment.

“I see you’re still believing everything your dogs tell you,” he commented dryly, and Paul opened his eyes to glare narrowly at the phone in my hand.

“And I see that you’re still a cowardly little bitch,” I snapped back, “You have twenty four hours to explain the Victoria shit to my sister before I do it myself.”

“Last I heard, you two weren’t exactly on speaking terms,” he countered, and I felt triumphant.

“Don’t believe everything you hear, right?” I taunt, “Besides, she doesn’t have to hear it from me. There’s a good deal of people who don’t like the fact that you baby her for your own comfort.”

I was met with silence, and I smiled.

“Twenty four hours, leech,” I reminded, hanging up the phone.



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That’s a wrap for this chapter!! What’d you guys think ?? Also I lied, reader will be getting to understand the Cullens most likely in the following chapters

Anyway, peace out ✌️ 💕

(ps if y’all have any requests for scenes, things you’d like to see me write, etc etc lmk!!)

(pps i didnt forget abt max i promise)