#Neopronouns in Action 090 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

neopronouns-in-action · 2 months ago

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Neopronouns in Action #090: Gaining a New Perspective

This is almost exactly 5k words long.

See this post for many places to experience Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions, for free!

How it started:

[ID: A digital drawing of characters from the book Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions. In the foreground is the narrator, a square who is orange, green and pink, with the pink forming a shape like a blobby fish with a single purple eye on its back. On each of his corners are small white triangle markings facing inward, helping to disguise his true eye, which faces upward as he falls. He is labeled, "Raymond, he/him/his/himself, 2D square", and "[Getting ejected from the Third Dimension for speculating about the existance of the Fourth and beyond". Above him in the distance is a pale red sphere with darker red and blue markings, still with one hand out stretched after throwing Raymond. The other arm ends around the elbow. Xet is labeled, "Kormance, xet/xev/xel/xevself, 3D sphere". End ID.]

Neopronouns: xet/xev/xel/xevself, which follow the same rules as he/him/his/himself.

Replace he with xet

Replace him with xev

Replace his with xel

Replace himself with xevself

EX:

"He is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as he gets a fence set up around his yard so the puppy can go outside without him having to walk it. His uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting him use, since he lost his. He's going to buy toys and train the puppy himself.”

Becomes:

"Xet is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as xet gets a fence set up around xel yard so the puppy can go outside without xev having to walk it. Xel uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting xev use, since xet lost xel. Xet's going to buy toys and train the puppy xevself.”

(Archived read-more link)

___

Beneath a vast ocean, looking down at a lower layer of density that swarmed with life, there floated a sphere. From above, xet was only deep blue and pale red, with darker red spots covered in small blue spots on the xel left and right sides. Lowering yourself down further, you could see xel back, which still had the same thick blue stripe, now with a multilayer of red diamonds in the center, with another red spot visible on xel lower surface.

If you swung around to look at xel face, you would see xel single, oval shaped eye, with a white sclera, and blue and black diamonds for the iris and pupil. Above the eye on either side were two dark red diamonds, and below blue circles, each connected to the eye with a thin line of the same color, like sections on a microhip.

Xel had a mouth filled with the sharp teeth of a carnivore. This mouth was currently twisted into a regretful frown, and the brow above the single eye furrowed in frustration and unease.

Xel had two arms, and only one hand. Xel right arm ended at slightly less the length of the left in an uneven stump. There were no signs of battlescars, because Kormance, the sphere, had been born this way.

Xet stared down towards Flatland, watching as Raymond, that impudent, foolish, insane Square, fell back down to where he’d come from, spinning like a coin as he went, turning almost invisible when his thin edges faced up towards Kormance for just a heartbeat at a time.

His outer edges glowed white, but his insides were mostly pink, with green and orange and white around the edges, with what seemed like a large, staring purple eye.

But it was all just one of Nature’s forms of defensive trickery. The pattern of pink surrounded by green, along with the eye that seemed to stare directly up at you when he was actually in his natural realm of Flatland, created an almost exact replica of a wexli – a small, but incredibly poisonous scavenging fish – as seen from above.

Scientists had studied and published their findings about Flatlanders for thousands of years, so xet knew that the clever mimicry had evolved ages ago to help fend off predation by many of the three-dimensional species who had once preyed upon them.

Now there were only a few highly specialized species that were still observed preying upon Flatland humans, but they were becoming rarer by the decade.

Raymond fell, spinning end over end, and Kormance couldn’t see his real eye, but xet wondered if he was looking up at xev, or down at his own world, approaching so rapidly. The only visible difference between his upper and bottom sides was a slight silvery sheen on his lower side.

Kormance shouldn’t have thrown him like that, but xet hadn’t been able to help xevself.

Raymond had started on his tirade of higher dimensions, and just kept going and going, getting more hysterical the longer he went, and nothing Kormance had said had gotten him to stop. He’d gotten to the point saying they were going to visit an eighth Dimension for Starlan’s sake, and Kormance was sure that xet would have lost xel own mind if xet had had to listen to that deranged Figure for even a few more seconds.

So xet had thrown him back down to his Plane.

Xet wasn’t proud of it, but at least xet knew that Raymond wouldn’t be harmed. The surface of Flatland was liquid, and they hadn’t been up so high that any damage would be caused. He might sink below the surface for a few moments with the impact, but after that he would naturally float back up to his natural placement in the density layers.

Kormance knew this from reports of the last Millenial Mission, when the Square Pyramid, Pathodorax, who had also brought her Envoy to the Third Dimension, had been forced to drop her back into Flatland in an attempt to save her while fleeing from a pack of selakhos that had ambushed them.

Selakhos never cared for Flatlanders as long as they were in their plane, but it was almost certain that the Flatlander would have died in an encounter in three Dimensions.

After dropping her Envoy, Pathodorax had found a cave to hide inside until the Recorders came and drove the selakhos away.

When Recorders had been dispatched to check up on her Envoy, they found the Kite emotionally upset, which was understandable, but physically uninjured.

The Recorders had listened in as she told her story to another Figure who had taken her in. She’d fallen, felt herself hit the layer of Flatland, and saw nothing but darkness for a few seconds, then reemerged in Flatland itself, several dozen miles from where she had started.

This is why Kormance had been careful to keep xel mission to a small radius just wide enough to allow a trip to the capital city, which was only an hour away from Wentbridge where Raymond lived, just in case that sort of disaster somehow happened.

Not that Kormance had had to worry about selakhos or any other predators, since the chosen areas over Flatland had been carefully monitored for the weeks leading up to the new year, ensuring that the movements of any dangerous animals were being tracked at all times. Kormance would know if anything had turned in xel direction long before it actually reached xev. The Recorders had been very careful to make sure nothing would go wrong this time.

They were very strict about maintaining the Millenial part of the Millenial Mission, for reasons Tormance could never understand. They were always going on about some prophecy they’d never actually tell anyone the details of. It was infuriating.

But nothing had gone wrong, at least not until the very end.

Long story short, Kormance had made sure to keep close to Raymond’s house after their visit to the Flatland capital, and even now, xet watched as Raymond, now tiny from the distance that yawned between them, splashed down with perfect aim inside his own studyroom, right side up.

Just as had been predicted, Raymond sank below the surface of Flatland for a moment or two, but then was buoyed back up almost immediately.

Kormance wondered what that had to feel like to a Flatlander, and felt guilt creep through xel insides. Xet really shouldn’t have thrown him like that. But they’d been running out of time anyways, and at least he was safely in his home again, and hadn’t landed Wrongsideup.

That would have forced Kormance to go back to put him Rightsideup. Xet could live with many things, but xet wouldn’t have been able to live with xevself if xet’d purposefully left a Flatlander flipped the wrong way like that.

That was another thing that had been Recorded during the last Millenial Mission. Not Pathodorax’s Envoy, but another’s – a Messenger whose name had been struck from the Historical Record for reasons not revealed to anyone but Recorders. The Flatlander had been taken into real space, and returned, but returned Wrongsideup. And by the time their Messenger had realized the mistake, the time was up, and they were prevented from returning to flip their Envoy Rightsideup again.

The Recorders of that era had been extremely interested in the monitoring of that Envoy’s life.

Only enough details of it had been released for public knowledge for Kormance, and every other Messenger, to know that being flipped Wrongsideup wasn’t something any of them wanted to subject their Envoy to.

Raymond’s landing must have made a noise, because as Kormance watched, the longer Straight Line that was Raymond’s wife rushed to the room he’d landed in, and for the next few minutes, the two seemed to be speaking, though from so high up, Kormance couldn’t actually hear what they were saying. All xet could see was the constant movement of their insides, indicating anxiety.

For a few seconds, xet considered going back down, to finish the lesson. Xet hadn’t gotten a chance to explain the makeup of all any Solids besides Cubes and Spheres. But it was too late now. His wife was in a very small room with him, and there’d be no way for Kormance to get to him again without her noticing.

And not only would Raymond probably not listen, he’d probably just go off again about higher dimensions, instead of listening and learning the rest he needed to know about the actual reality of the Third Dimension.

For a few more seconds, Kormance hesitated, struggling against all xel excuses, arguing with xevself.

And then xet sighed, and turned resolutely away.

Today’s Mission hadn’t been a complete failure. Xet had convinced xel Envoy that the Third Dimension did really exist, albeit through drastic measures. There were bound to be others today who had failed their mission, even if they’d also resorted to bringing their Envoys to the real world. Kormance couldn’t afford to dwell on the negatives, xet had to think positively. Xet had succeeded. Raymond fully believed in the Third Dimension.

It wasn’t Kormance’s fault that Raymond had gone insane once his mind was opened to the possibility of another Dimension. Kormance had tried to stop him from jabbering on about the analogy and infinite dimensions, but nothing had worked.

Kormance was trying to stay positive, but it wasn’t working well, xet was too anxious and angry. That absurd little fool had repeatedly asked xev to show him xel insides, like xet was a shape as simple and open as a 2D Figure or lower, like xet could somehow just will xel internal organs into view for the sake of a rambling Flatlander.

Who did he think he was? He hadn’t even known the word “up” before Kormance had taught him, hadn’t had any idea there was a Third Dimension! And then he had the gall to turn around and ask to be shown the fourth! And the fifth! And the sixth! And who knows how long he would have gone on if Kormance hadn’t thrown him back where he belonged! Like he expected Kormance to somehow be able to perform miracles! It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t Kormance’s fault!

But xet had to admit now that it was clear that Raymond had been a bad choice for an Envoy of the Third Dimension. His mind had clearly been stretched beyond its limit, and now he couldn’t recognize the limitations of reality anymore.

Kormance had chosen him almost on the spur of the moment, aggravated by his arrogance towards his own grandson, who despite being so young, clearly knew more than he did.

Originally, Kormance had been planning to teach the child, since young minds were always more willing and able to learn new things, but other considerations, xel pride being the major contributing factors, had gotten in the way of that plan, and now look what had happened.

But maybe it had been inevitable. The hexagonal child had done the exact same thing his grandfather had done, after all. He’d been shown the existence of two dimensions, and said he was ready to learn about the third. And then his grandfather had been shown the existence of three dimensions, and said he was ready to learn about the fourth. Both had looked at the reality that had been revealed to them, and tried to follow the pattern even further.

It was admirable, really.

...And the longer Kormance thought about it, the more and more xel thoughts seemed to all crowd together, different thoughts and feelings conflicting with one another as xet floated on xel back, looking up at the sky, the stars of which were covered in thin white wisps of clouds here and there, with the green and white face of the moon wavering just over the edge of the horizon.

There were only Three Dimensions, and no more.

Science had proven this, and so did every day of Kormance’s experience.

Raymond had tried to convince xev that the ghost hunters and self-proclaimed psychics of xel world had actually had contact with the “fourth dimension”, just like he, the Square, had been visited by Kormance the Sphere. But that just couldn’t be true.

And yet, that little hexagonal child had been right when he’d said that it was clear that even their Flatland geometry lead them to the next logical step of a third dimension. And Kormance had been happy to see a Flatlander, especially one so young, figure this out all on their own.

But then, when that child’s grandfather came to the same conclusion when he saw proof of the third, leading inexorably to the fourth…

But Kormance and the others who had been chosen to carry out the Millenial Mission had always had the clear goal of instructing Flatlanders about the existence of real space. They told them flat out that there were more than two dimensions. They never lied or pretend to be spirits, or at least, they hadn’t done that for the last two thousand years. The Recorders had made sure of that.

So that meant that if what Raymond had said were true, and Beings were coming down from the so-called fourth Dimension, then why wouldn’t they just say that that’s where they were from?

None of the people who’d ever claimed to be able to see inside things or leave the world had ever claimed they were going to the Fourth Dimension when they did so. They didn’t even say they were going to the real Space. So either the hypothetical Fourth Dimensional beings were lying, or their Envoys were.

And what reason could they have to lie about such a thing?

Most of their countries in Spaceland were more civilized than those in Flatland; they didn’t execute people just for talking about things they didn’t want to hear. No one would be murdered or thrown into life imprisonment if they went around telling everyone there was a fourth Dimension, not if they had proof.

...But would they have proof?

Kormance turned to look down again, back towards Flatland. Xet had drifted slightly while xet floated, and now xet was above the large, and now almost empty theater, rather than directly above Raymond’s home.

Xet stared down, watching the oblivious Figures in the back of the theater as a few Isosceles triangles were busily working to store away all of the equipment for the play and clean up the trash that had been left behind by the patrons.

None of them knew xet was up here, or that they were being watched.

They had no concept of up or down, and couldn’t move in either direction even if they tried. Even knowing about the Third Dimension wouldn’t give them any more ability to move in it. Not without help from a Third Dimensional Being.

Kormance knew that it was almost impossible for a Flatlander to prove to other Flatlanders the existance of the Third Dimension on their own, without the assistance of a Three-Dimensional Being.

They couldn’t lift themselves into real 3D space, or lower themselves into it. They couldn’t demonstrate in any way the directions of up or down, or even describe which way they were. They couldn’t point up or down, they couldn’t even look up or down.

The only thing they had was their word, and their imaginations. Their only hope was to fire the imaginations of those who let them speak, and there were very few in this region of Flatland who would let them speak.

Who would believe Raymond if he did tell anyone what had happened to him, and what he had seen?

Kormance knew that it was only a matter of time before the Circles passed their law once again demanding the arrest or execution of anyone found to be preaching the truth of the Third Dimension. If Raymond ever revealed the truth, no one would believe him, and he would be risking his life in doing so, no matter how comparatively high his personal status was.

And for what?

Not for the first time, Kormance wondered why the Recorders insisted upon these Millenial Missions. Why the Messengers were limited only to teaching a single Flatlander each, once every thousand years, knowing that most of the Flatlanders they revealed the truth to would be powerless to teach others, if they were even allowed to live at all.

For just a few minutes, Kormance had thought about recruiting the hexagonal child to the cause. As a Hexagon who was part of the noble caste, he would have had more protection from the punishments of the Circles when he was found out.

But a Square was still high ranking enough that it wouldn’t mean instant death, especially for a Square of such unusually high social standing as Raymond.

He was extremely educated in the fields of Flatland mathematics, to the point where he was regularly invited to high-profile clubs attended otherwise almost entirely by the nobility. He was well-trained in the art of Sight Recognition for someone of such “poor Configuration”, and had, as far as his society was concerned, single-handedly raised his hexagonal grandsons after the death of their father, before his remaining adult sons had moved back in with him the week before to help fill out the extravagant house their eldest brother had bought before his, and his wife’s, untimely deaths.

(The fact that Jemima, Raymond’s wife, who was a Straight Line, and his daughter, Lorraine, also a Straight Line, had done all of the work of actually caring for and raising the young Hexagons was not acknowledged at all. They received no credit for their work, because the Flatland Configurationists insisted that Straight Lines or “women” were just inherently natural caretakers of children, going so far as to say that that’s all they were good for, so there was no point in praising them for it, because then you may as well praise gravity for pulling southward. [This all despite the fact that most Flatlanders could get pregnant and bear children, not just Straight Lines.]

So all of the credit for the two Straight Lines’ three years of unexpected work nurturing and raising the two young Hexagons that had suddenly been dropped into their laps after the family’s tragedy went instead to Raymond, the Patriarch of the household, who’d had next to nothing to do with the children until a few days ago, when he’d started teaching them the basics of Sight Recognition.)

Add to this the fact that Raymond had fathered so many healthy, completely “Regular” sons in the first place, with only a single daughter in a total of seven births, and her Configuration comendably just as Straight as any Straight Line could be, and it was hardly any wonder that the women-hating, Configurationist nobility regarded Raymond as a Square almost beyond his own class?

Kormance had little to fear that Raymond would be killed if or when he revealed his knowledge of the Third Dimension to his countryfolk. He was too highly esteemed, too accomplished for that.

The nobility knew how rare it was to find Squares who genuinely, consistently produced Regular Pentagonal offspring. They wouldn’t risk killing him, not unless he did something drastic beyond imagining that would actually merit killing him and anyone he’d ever spoken to.

But that was doubtful. He would most likely be kept alive, either in prison, or an asylum. Kormance was sure that something would be arranged so that Raymond and his wife would have the opportunity to produce more Perfectly Regular Pentagons for the ruling classes to hold up as shining examples of their cherished “Law” of Natural Progression.

The Configurationists valued their eugenics programs too much to waste an opportunity like that. They’d probably even furnish Jemima with a pension of some sort, maybe a chapperone, to make sure the house was maintained and the new children kept well fed and cared for. Or maybe they’d just adopt the children out into families of real nobility. There was no way to really tell.

Kormance didn’t know for sure what would happen to the rest of Raymond’s family if or when he was arrested. Only one of his sons had had his own sons so far, the rest were still bachelors. It was too soon to tell if his “Progressive Regularity” had been passed down or not. So maybe the Configurationists wouldn’t touch them until they saw whether or not they’d be useful for their long-term plans.

Most likely it would depend on how publicly and successfully he attempted to preach his heretical gospel of the Third Dimension. Or maybe it would never happen.

Not all the Flatlanders ever chosen to be given the knowledge of the Third Dimension had revealed that knowledge to others. Some of them carried the secret to their grave.

Kormance didn’t even know what the point was in telling them, not when everyone who cared enough to know knew that in 10% of Flatland, talking about the Third Dimension, or anything related to it, including talking about where light came from, meant either instant death or lifetime imprisonment.

The Recorders knew this. So did the Shepherds. So did all of those chosen to carry out the Millenial Mission. For Starlan’s sake, most of the general population knew it too!

They knew that by sending missionaries to spread the knowledge of the Third Dimension, they were condemning 10% of those chosen to learn it to death, imprisonment, or a lifetime of having to keep the truth of the world secret, tormented by the paranoia of anyone finding out what they knew.

And maybe 10% sounded low on paper, when you were just thinking of the millions of Flatlanders as abstract concepts, but they were real people. 10 out of every hundred Flatlanders who were chosen would live in areas where sharing their knowledge would mean severe punishment from their governments, and this only included the countries where it was on the books illegal, it didn’t include any of the places where it wasn’t outright illegal, but could still mean death or imprisonment anyway.

It was cruel, and unnecessary. It couldn’t be done in good conscience.

But that was why Kormance and the others were doing it, instead of the Recorders or Shepherds, or anyone else, wasn’t it? They were convicts, felons, prisoners. As far as everyone else was concerned, they’d already committed crimes, so what was one more moral weight upon their cores?

They had neither the right to freedom, nor to conscience.

Well, no, that wasn’t entirely true. Some of them had a conscience. Some of them refused to reveal the real shape of the world to the Flatlanders, knowing that their Envoys might be killed for what they’d taught them. Two of the other prisoners assigned to the same region as Kormance had been conscientious objectors. They’d been dropped down with Kormance, been given the same orders as xev. But instead of heading off to find a suitable Envoy, they’d crossed their arms and sat in place, completely refusing to take part.

When the Recorders came to collect them all, they would be thrown back into prison, just the same as they’d been taken out.

Kormance wished xet could have been so heroic, but...xet just couldn’t. Xet didn’t want to spend the rest of xel life in prison, staring at the same four walls until xet died, and this was xel only chance to get out any time in the next ten years.

Xel family was still out there somewhere, wondering where xet had disappeared to or whether xet was still alive.

Xet had tried to choose xel Envoy carefully, wanting to ensure the least amount of danger along with the highest chance of comprehension, because xet couldn’t win xel freedom by failing to teach xel Envoy. It had to be a successful lesson.

So, a mathematician with high social status had probably been the best choice. He probably wouldn’t be killed, even if he did reveal the truth of the Third Dimension.

Kormance kept telling xevself that, but it wasn’t actually making xev feel any better. How many people had been killed today as the price for xel freedom? How many had died to pay for the freedom of the others who were probably out there still, in the further reaches of the 10% of Flatland that had made understanding the world a crime punishable by death?

All of those Isosceles in the council chambers, at least.

Each of them had had a name, friends, family, hopes and dreams for the future. And now they were dead, because Kormance had chosen to follow the orders xet had been given.

And who knew how many more would die in the future if Raymond chose to reveal his secrets? The secrets he only knew because Kormance had told him.

How many would survive, but would spend the rest of their lives in prison?

It had already happened to Raymond’s brother.

All of those deaths were on xel head. All of those people thrown in prison for the rest of their lives were on xel head.

The price of Kormance’s freedom had been high, and until the Recorders came to collect xev and the others, there wouldn’t even be any telling if xet had even won xel freedom at all.

The Recorders could still look at Raymond’s hysteria for impossible, even higher dimensions, and decide that Kormance had failed after all.

All those deaths, all those lives ruined, Kormance’s betrayal of xel own moral code, and it might all just be for nothing after all.

Xel eye was no longer focused anymore on what was below xev, Kormance was simply floating along with the gentle current, too lost in thought to focus on the life of the Flatlanders playing out below xev.

What if Raymond had spoken the truth? What if there was a fourth Dimension, or even more than that? He’s insisted it was all strictly according to analogy, just like with the Third Dimension…

A point moving created a line.

A line moving created a square.

A square moving created a cube.

The denizens of Lineland could not see a line unless they were taken into the Second Dimension.

The denizens of Flatland could not see a square until they were taken into the Third Dimension.

None of them had any idea anything else existed outside of what they could see until they were shown a new perspective.

And it...was a mathematical progression. All strictly according to analogy.

If a fourth Dimension really existed, then it would be beyond Kormance’s ability to perceive unless xet was brought into that Dimension by a fourth Dimensional Being, just as it was impossible for a Flatlander to perceive the Third Dimension, or a Linelander the Second.

And who even knew what kind of creatures lived in the First?

A deep voice spoke suddenly, saying something unintelligible to Kormance.

It jolted xev out of xel thoughts and made xev jump upright. There was nothing in front of xev, so xet spun around, surprised and confused. The Recorders weren’t due back so soon.

There was a sphere floating there, with their back xev. They were deep blue, covered in pale gold, five-pointed stars. Xet couldn’t see any arms at all, and felt a swell of befuzzled camaraderie bubble up in xel core. It wasn’t often xet got to meet other amputees. Who was this person? And what had they just said?

“I’m sorry,” xet said, circling around the stranger so xet could see their face when they spoke, “I couldn’t hear what you said.”

Xet circled to the other side of the sphere, but still couldn’t see their face. They’d turned as xet walked to keep their back to xev. Xet stopped, bewildered. Why would they do such a thing?

“Will you let me see your face?” Xet asked, feeling hurt, “It’s easier for me to understand what you say if I can see your mouth.”

There were a few moments of no response, then the deep voice spoke again, more clearly than the first time, “Sorry, but you won’t be able to see my mouth unless you come into the Fourth Dimension.”

Kormance could only stare.

The voice continued, after a few moments, “What you’re looking at is just a cross section of me, not my whole body. In the Third Dimension, I appear to you as only a sphere, the same way your Flatlander friend appeared as a point in Lineland, and how you appeared as a Circle in Flatland, but I am really a vwindir – or, an extra-sphere, as your student from Flatland so aptly called me. You really shouldn’t have dismissed him so quickly about the exter dimensions, you know. He may have gotten a little carried away, but he wasn’t wrong.”

There was a short pause, then the voice added, “But I digress. What I said first was, are you ready to visit the Fourth Dimension now? And, are you? I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have.”

Kormance’s first reaction was that this had to be some sort of joke. Someone playing a trick on xev. But then xet remembered that that was exactly how Raymond had reacted to xev, and how the King of Lineland had reacted to Raymond…

And…

Oh Starlan, this was actually happening, wasn’t it?

[ID: A digital drawing of two characters based on the book Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions, drawn against a grey-blue background. In the foreground is a royal blue circle covered with pale yellow stars, labeled, "Ted, they/them/their/themself, 4D vwindir", and "[patiently waiting for a reply]". They have no limbs or facial features visible. Behind them is a pale red sphere with a single eye and two arms, one of which ends around the elbow, with darker red and blue markings, labeled "Kormance, xet/xev/xel/xevself, 3D Sphere", and "[conception of the world being hastily rewired]". Kormance is staring at Ted with xel diamond-shaped pupil dilated, and a blank expression of shock and consternation. End ID.]

A million thoughts were racing through Kormance’s mind, but of all of them, there was one important question xet felt the need to ask, just to be safe:

“You promise you won’t put me back Wrongsideup?” Xet did’t even want to know how that would work for a Three Dimensional being, but xet assumed xet would be finding out shortl.

The voice replied, kindly, “I promise not to put you back Wrongsidelot.”

Kormance wondered if xet was dreaming, but xet didn’t think xet was.

“Well,” xet said, bracing xevself, “I guess I’m ready when you are.”

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