#Need someone to help me make a skate vid

[env0]

WOW you were the SK8R boy all along? No wonder you're so hot

I suppose this is as good if time as any to post this.

[itsclydebitches]

The thing that feels disingenuous about Miles answer about Ironwood is that he was part of the writing staff that framed the general as a cool character to start with. I do think that the signs about Ironwood's evil were clear since V2 and in V7 he was an outright dictator from episode 1. Nonetheless, he was still consistently framed as a cool character, someone you can trust and rely. You don't get to blame the fans for liking a genocide if you was the one framed him as cool in the first place.

I actually don’t think being cool is the problem. If we’re satirizing and/or making a  statement about the toxic masculinity that leads to something like a dictatorship, then being “cool” is a crucial part of that. People don’t leverage the power they have by looking lame, they do so by appearing desirable, enviable, awesome. Being in the military is supposedly “cool.” Being a white guy with a giant gun is supposedly “cool.” Having power over an entire nation is supposedly “cool,” etc. If you only make such characters look revolting  — even when they are  — then you miss one of the main recruitment tools for this kind of rhetoric. Any version of Ironwood that’s meant to make a point about the dangers of following someone like him needs to make him look “cool” and then deconstruct that, pointing out the ways in which this cool veneer is a lie meant to pull you in. To do otherwise is to claim that evil people are always easy to spot. Making your villains “uncool” implies that the people who do appear cool in real life must be fine then. That good looking, charismatic leader is great. Why would I look critically at his actions? He’s too cool to be evil. 

My personal problem is not that “They made the dictator look cool and we can’t possibly expect the audience to tell the difference between someone who is truly good and someone who is just using various Cool Points to skate by” because that would be the point of such a character  — the work the show needs to do. My problem is that RWBY didn’t do that work. At least, not to the extent they needed to. Rather than making Ironwood a truly heinous character (prior to Volume 7 ‘s shooting, I mean) and allowing the audience to learn how appearing cool can’t hide that, they just made him good person. Straight up. Flawed, absolutely, but no worse than any of the other character on screen, particularly post Volume 6 when our heroes are frequently putting people in danger, seizing power, telling lies, keeping secrets, and generally acting in the ways we’re supposedly meant to condemn Ironwood for. Since talk of Miles’ vid last night I’ve seen three separate “Ironwood was always bad, idk how people can miss the signs” posts and those people are half right. There 100% were signs we were meant to pick up on. The problem is RWBY then went and deconstructed those signs. Ironwood didn’t just bring an army to a peace festival, he brought an army to an event he had good reason to believe wasn’t peaceful  — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t wrest control from Ozpin (using a series of checks and balances that exist for this very purpose...) because he has an obsession with being in control, he did so because he honestly believed Ozpin was putting people in danger  — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t step up post-Fall because he arrogantly believes he’s the only one capable of saving Remnant, he did so because he’s actually the most qualified: a fully trained huntsmen leading an Academy (like Ozpin) with an army and knowledge of this secret war. What, was Ironwood supposed to read the script and wait for the group of dropout teenagers to arrive and save the world instead? To say nothing of how his power and responsibility are framed as sacrifices, not something he sought out. Ironwood doesn’t want to be the sole ruler here. His desperate relief at having allies again proves it. Good setup for the rise of a dictator would have been Ironwood being cagey with his information and exerting control over the group... not telling them everything, not giving them more power, not letting them keep the Lamp, not taking arrest off the table so as to keep them in line, and generally doing the opposite of everything he did do to share that responsibility and power. RWBY got very good at giving us the first half of these red flags  — he has an army, he’s stubborn, he’s hurting Mantle, etc.  — but then time and time again introduced a context that changed that flag dramatically: they are fighting literal monsters, he’s no more stubborn than our title character, hurting Mantle is a consequence of a plan he thinks will help the whole world and our heroes back this. Those who insist that Ironwood was 100% a villain in the making (or a villain already) prior to shooting Oscar are working from their assumption of what his archetype represents, not what RT actually put on screen. Because RT is just really bad at writing a dictator character. They didn’t have the skill to manage someone who only appeared good on the surface, let alone a character with the complex nuance of wielding “coolness” to their advantage, which is why in Volume 8 they had to resort to cartoon villainy with literal, evil spotlights. It’s not that the audience is too dumb to pick up on those red flags, it’s that RT couldn’t manage to plant them without continually introducing valid justifications. You can’t say, “Bringing an army is a bad thing. Look at this dictator coding!” without me going, “Yeah, except in the fictional world you created an army does not represent the problems it does in our real life societies. This isn’t a guy amassing soldiers to go after oil, he’s trying to protect people from monsters. Not even metaphoric monsters acting as stand-ins for a minority group. Literal, evil monsters!” RWBY ignores its own context and a good chunk of the fandom ignored it too. 

The problem with that (besides the general frustration of someone ignoring parts of canon to forward a particular reading) is that the fandom’s go-to claim is that everything is meaningful  — and it’s a reading the writers very much support. Fans do not, as the above attests, push for a simple reading of, “Don’t think too hard about it. Just take the surface reading and run with it” which, while still frustrating, would have at least been a valid stance. Rather, they insist very strongly that nuance and depth are what drive the show. From the song lyrics to a tiny detail in the opening, everything is important and if you don’t accept that then you can’t appreciate RWBY’s complexity. 

“Okay,” I said. “Then in that case Ironwood coming around to Ozpin’s position is meaningful too? Glynda  — one of our best and most faultless characters  — supporting him is meaningful? Flipping his gun, defending Weiss, Qrow writing to him, the group working with him for months on end... all of it is meaningful to his characterization? You said so yourself.” 

“No, no, no,” comes the reply. “He’s just bad. But he’s also nuanced. He’s tricked you into thinking he’s a good person by acting kind sometimes, by getting support sometimes, but none of that is true. His actions are what matter and his actions are simplistically bad.” 

“Ohhhh. So then does that mean this story is really about the creation of a villain?” 

“Huh?” 

“Well, Ruby. She’s ‘nuanced’ in the same way. She acts kind sometimes and gets support, but her actions are terrible. She endangered an entire city because she couldn’t wait to see if Ironwood got his letter. She condemned Ozpin for keeping secrets about Salem and then kept those same secrets just two days later. When the kingdom was under attack she sat around drinking tea, crying on a staircase, just hoping someone would come fix things for her  — all while actively sabotaging the one person who was trying to save people, even if that action seems silly to us (let’s fly really high). So if we’re looking at the impact of someone’s actions outside of their intent, as we just did with Ironwood, then she’s a bad guy too, yeah?” 

“No! She’s the hero!” 

“... these characters don’t know she’s the hero from a meta perspective. If we’re supposed to judge the meaning of RWBY based on these details — ” 

“But it’s not just the details. It’s also the allusions. Everyone in RWBY is based on another person or character. It’s very complex and that inspiration drives their story, so if you don’t have that information it’s no surprise you’re confused. For example, this is why Penny had to get a human body. That’s what happened to Pinocchio!” 

“Oh! So then Ironwood is destined to be a good guy!” 

“What?” 

“Well, you just said the allusions drive their stories, right? The whole point of the Tin Man is that he always had a heart and just needed to realize that. So clearly — “ 

“No! He’s supposed to be a classic dictator, he’s only bad!” 

And ‘round and ‘round we go. RWBY’s writing is atrocious yet the fandom pushes this narrative that it’s all a complex, multi-layered story that requires taking every part into account to understand the “real” message... but when you try to do that with certain characters like Ozpin and Ironwood it’s, “No, actually, they’re just simple archetypes of Bad Men.” Nuance exists for the bees, but not other ships. It exists for the characters fans like, but not the ones they don’t. And RWBY’s inspirations have to predict the ending for this character... but not that other character. It’s a nonsense grab bag! 

Fans are right that Ironwood had a lot of red flags to set up this downfall. Fans are also right that those red flags were severely undercut, thus reversing their impact. Fans are right that Ironwood becomes a 100% bad guy who kills because he can and threatens to bomb a city. Fans are also right that this characterization feels absurd for Ironwood, both in terms of his morality and his intelligence (how does bombing Mantle help you now??) Ironwood is badly written. He was badly written in 7 and 8, if he was always meant to be a dictator in the making then he was badly written in 2-6, and he’s conclusively badly written when it comes to lacking a backstory and a canonical semblance  — two things are are supposedly driving all of this characterization. That’s the answer: not that he’s good, or bad, but that RWBY can’t write a consistent character, let alone a nuanced one, so it’s no surprise the fandom can’t decide on anything. What’s there to decide on? It’s that nonsense grab bag. In a different show I think making the dictator appear cool would be a crucial bit of commentary, but RWBY doesn’t have the skill to pull that off. 

[gamergirl929]

She Was A Skater Girl (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Anonymous Request: Heyy, just loved it your new imagine with tobin and i know your requests are closed, so maybe when you have time, could you write one with tobin and skater!reader?

The breeze was relatively nice considering it was so humid out, but you didn’t care, all that mattered was that your skateboard was beneath your feet.  

Portland streets were busy at this time, a number of people on their morning commutes, everyone rushing to get to work.  

All that rushing, luckily for you, hadn’t been a big deal for you, but sadly, it was ABOUT to be.

“HEY!” Someone shouts, your eyes widening when someone lays on their horn. 

You attempt to screech to a halt, but you quickly realize you can’t do so fast enough.

You instead fling yourself backwards off your board and land back first on the road with a violent thud, watching as the woman's car flies towards the intersection.

You watch sadly as your board rolls in front of the fast-moving car, being crushed by its tires as it flies by, the woman not even stopping to check on the person she'd just nearly ran over.  

You wince in pain, resting your head on the road beneath you.  

“Are you okay!?” A woman asks, dropping down on the ground beside you and you groan.  

“No...” You grimace as you sit up, yelling down the road where the woman had driven off.  

“YOU BITCH! THAT WAS MY ONLY BOARD!” You scream at the car as you rub the back of your head, your head that’s covered in a hot sticky fluid you realize is your own blood.  

You hadn’t even remembered hitting your head. 

“Ow. Shit.” You grimace, your eyes fluttering closed.  

“Keep your eyes open, an ambulance is on the way.”  

The woman’s soft voice makes your eyes flutter open, your brows furrowing as you look a the woman hovering above you, your eyes widening.  

“Holy shit, you’re Tobin Heath.”  

You, again, sit up, your vision dotted with black spots as your head starts to spin. 

“Here, lie back.” Tobin says again, this time your head meeting something soft instead of the hard concrete.  

You turn to her with a smile.  

“You’re really pretty.” You murmur, groaning at the pain in your head, missing the noticeable blush on Tobin’s cheeks.  

“Wait!” You yell, trying to sit up again. 

“Where’s my board?” You whine, your vision blurring as someone comes into view, carrying the two pieces of your board. 

“That was my only board.” You whine louder.  

“I think you need to worry more about your head right now.” Tobin guides you back down, the woman grimacing when she sees blood coming out of your ear.  

“Just, don’t move okay?” She places a hand on your chest and you hum.  

“I’ve had that board forever.” You pout, Tobin shaking her head.  

“A board can be replaced.”  

You shake your head.  

“Not that one, it was the only board I had when I started making vids.” You sigh, glancing at the woman. 

“You know some things can’t be replaced.”  

The sound of sirens makes your head ache and you grimace.  

“Why are they so loud?” You mumble and Tobin winces.  

“You took a pretty hard hit.”  

Tobin frowns when you start to mumble, words slurring into an incoherent mumble.

“Get my board, yeah?” You slur the forward nodding as EMTs rush your way, surrounding you.  

Tobin is able to get the two halves of your board before she’s back at your side, frowning as EMTs get you onto a backboard, incoherent mumbles leaving your open mouth.  

Though what Tobin CAN make out is her name, before you fall silent, losing consciousness.  

                                                          ***

The first thing you feel when you regain consciousness is pain, a throbbing pain in your head that makes you grimace, the insistent beeping of a machine nearby making you growl.  

“Damn.” You murmur as you shift, your back aching from the impact of slamming to the concrete.  

“Hey.” You hear a familiar voice, your brows furrowing as your eyes crack open.  

“Have you seen my board?” You ask, Tobin snorting as she nods to the corner of the room where your broken board is resting.  

“Did they find the driver?” You yawn, Tobin shaking her head as she moves to sit in the chair beside your bed.  

“No, but they’re looking.” She frowns and you growl.  

“She owes me some compensation for my board.”  

Tobin snorts.  

“You remember she almost killed you, right?” She asks and you shrug.  

“Yeah, maybe.”  

Tobin shakes her head, eyes widening when she hears a familiar voice.  

“Holy shit, you didn’t tell me the skateboarder was fucking Y/N Y/L/N.” The blonde squeals and you wince, your head throbbing.  

“THE Emily Sonnett knowns ME? Fucking sick.” You grin.  

“Wait... You know her?” Tobin points at you and smirk.  

“WELL YEAH. Emily snorts. “This is Y/N Y/L/N one of the best influencers on Insta.” Emily claps her hands giddily, frowning when she sees your board in the corner, completely snapped in half.  

“Aww, no...” She frowns, walking towards it, taking the two halves in her hands.  

“You’re an influencer?” Tobin asks, brown orbs wide and you nod.  

“So that’s what you meant by videos earlier.”  

You nod.  

“Tobin? Are you in here?”  

Your eyes widen when Christen Press rounds the corner, the forward’s green orbs widening when she sees you.  

“Y/N Y/L/N is the skater from this morning!?” She stares at you in awe and you snicker.  

“Seriously? You know me too?” You ask, the forward nodding in excitement.  

“Chrissyyyyyyy!” Emily whines holding the two halves of your board up with a pout.  

“Oh no...” She frowns, turning back towards you. “Sorry about your board, are you okay?”  

You shrug.  

“It’s okay, could be worse I guess... And I have no idea, no one’s told me.”  

Just as the words leave your mouth, a woman in a white lab coat walks in, smiling softly.  

“Good afternoon Ms. Y/L/N, how are you feeling?” She asks as she checks the machines next to your bed and you grimace.  

“Not great doc, not great.”  

“I imagine so, you’ve got a skull fracture.” Your eyes widen, as do Tobin, Emily and Christen’s.  

“Does that mean I can’t skate?” You ask, Tobin turning to you with wide eyes.  

“No, you can’t.” She growls and you huff.  

“Why not?”  

You stiffen.  

“Wait, where’s my phone?” You ask, glancing around the room, frowning when you see it too by your board, shattered.  

“How will my followers know what happened?” You pout and Emily hums, looking at her own phone.  

“Apparently they already do.”  

Emily passes you her phone, your eyes narrowing as you read the screen.  

Influencer Y/N Y/L/N involved in an accident in Portland, Oregon

You scroll further down the page.  

Y/N, Instagram Influencer injured in a near hit and run collision in Portland, Oregon

You shake your head.  

“Well now I have to let my followers know I’m okay.” You shake your head. “Leaving them on a cliffhanger like this is some damn ABC TV show.”  

Tobin shakes her head, passing you her phone.  

“Here.”

You put your palms together, ducking down as you bow to her.  

“My hero.”  

Needless to say, the second you’re logged into Insta you go to post, taking a picture of yourself, noticeable scuff marks on your face.

You type a quick caption, your tongue poking out of the corner of your mouth as you focus on posting, missing the small smile that stretches across Tobin’s face. 

“I’m sure you guys have seen the news about the accident, I’m okay, but they still haven’t caught the driver.”

You frown, glancing at your broken board.  

“Doc says I have a skull fracture and my back is pretty messed up... Unfortunately, she ran over my board, so I won’t be skating for a while, mostly because of the skull fracture, but whatever, I’ll keep you guys updated.”  

You glance around the room, smiling when you see Christen, Emily and Tobin sitting around, Emily still pouting over your broken board.  

“I’d like to thank, Tobin Heath, yes, USWNT forward Tobin Heath, for helping me after the accident as well as Christen Press and Emily Sonnett for coming in for a visit, mostly for Tobin, but still, FUCKIN’ SICKKKKKK.”  

You make the post and make your way to Twitter to make a similar post, quickly realizing you’re trending on Twitter.

“I’ve only ever trended twice on Twitter, once for skating in a mall down the escalator and running from security, and now.” You sigh.  

“Awesome.”  

You pass Tobin her phone back, smiling softly as the woman grins.  

“I really have to thank you for being there for me this morning. If it wasn’t for you, I probably would’ve chased after her.” You snort, Tobin throwing her head back with a laugh.  

“I don’t doubt that.”  

You smile your eyes searching Tobin’s face.  

“Still, I really appreciate it.”

Emily and Christen share a glance, the two smiling as you and Tobin simply stare at one another with lightly flushed cheeks.  

You lean back, rubbing the back of your head, groaning loudly.  

“You okay?” Christen asks and you whine.  

“My boarddddddddd...” You pout, Tobin shaking her head.  

Emily takes your board and brings it to the bed, handing you the two pieces.  

“Maybe, ummmm, tape?” She suggests, shrugging and you shake your head.  

“I don’t think it’ll work this time.”  You frown as you examine the splintered wood. “Well, it didn’t work LAST time to be honest, I ended up breaking my leg.”  

“You have a lot of accidents, don’t you?” Tobin teases and you roll your eyes.  

“Accidents are a huge part of skating.” You smirk.

“But when you finally hit the move it’s so fucking sick.” You nod with a grin, remembering how you’d landed the trick after your leg had healed, on a solid, break free board.  

“Wait, you didn’t trend when you skated off that condo’s roof?” Emily asks and you shake your head, the woman scoffing.  

“That’s dumb, and it wasn’t even your house!”  

Tobin watches you and Emily talk intently about your past tricks and run ins with the law, the woman smiling when you let out a belly shaking laugh, that laugh making you wince, your back and head throbbing.  

The more you talk, the more Tobin notes that your eyelids start to flutter as you visibly fight off sleep.  

Tobin shakes her head.  

“You should rest.” She whispers and you grunt.  

“I don’t want to...” You pout, earning an eye roll from the forward.  

“Well you need to.” She says, eyes narrowed and your eyes widen.  

“She’s right.” Christen says as she moves to her feet.  

You huff, sending Tobin a mock glare.  

“Fine. Fine.”  

Tobin is about to turn away when you catch her wrist, the woman turning to look at you thoughtfully.  

“I-I want to thank you, I really appreciate you helping me today, and uhhhh, coming here with me.” You shrug bashfully, cheeks dusted pink.  

“It meant a lot to me.”  

Tobin smiles, covering your hand with her own.  

“It was the right thing to do.” She says, her own cheeks flushing. “And I was worried.”  

Your tired eyes widen, your cheeks flushing darker at the thought of the woman worrying about you.  

Christen's green orbs dart between the two of you before she clears her throat, pulling the two of you out of your trance.  

“Uhhh....” Tobin starts, the woman clearing her own throat. “I’ll call to check on you later, okay?” She says and you nod, letting out a yawn.  

“S-Sounds good.” You say as you tiredly wave at Emily and Christen.  

“It was great meeting you all, still can’t believe I met you guys.” You yawn.  

Moments after the words leave your mouth you doze off, Emily, Christen and Tobin watching you with small smiles, Tobin’s cheeks still flushed.  

The forward turns around, eyes widening when she sees the looks on Emily and Christen’s faces.  

“What?” She gripes, glancing over her shoulder at you once more before she moves out of the room, her two teammates on her heels.  

“Why are your cheeks red Toby?” Emily teases, and Tobin growls.  

“They aren’t.” She dismisses her and Christen snorts.  

“Yes, they are.”

Tobin growls louder, practically sprinting away from the two of them, Christen and Emily giggling.  

“How much do you want to bet she’ll come back to visit her?” Emily smirks and Christen nods.  

“Oh, she will.”  

                                                          ***

Much as the two had anticipated, Tobin had come back to the hospital, though this time, she had a gift, something she knew you would love.  

Christen had agreed as well, of course, teasing Tobin about heading back to the hospital to see you.  

Tobin had of course brushed her off, but in all honesty, Tobin had felt something when she met you, that twisting in her gut, her heart lightening in her chest.  

She wanted to know more about you, and she’d been lying if she hadn’t spent most the night learning about you, as well as watching your videos and looking at all your posts.  

In fact, she’d lost sleep because of it.

That didn’t matter to her though, what mattered was learning more about you, and what she learned was that you were a shy, yet charismatic and bold person. 

A woman who’d taken up skating at a young age and had even caught the eye of famous skaters like Tony Hawk, among others.  

You were kind hearted, someone that anyone who looked at your images and videos with kids could see, as well as anyone who’d read or watched any of your interviews. 

You were humble about your fame, and the way you talked told Tobin you didn’t really care for the fame, you just wanted to do what you loved, and that was skate.  

The closer she gets to your hospital room, the more her nerves rile up, the woman nervous about seeing you again.  

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t notice the way your eyes shined when you talked about skating, the way your smile brightened when talking about it and the way you’d ramble shyly during interviews.  

Tobin comes to a stop in front of your hospital room,  the woman curtly nodding to herself, gathering her courage before she knocks on the door.  

Tobin frowns when she gets no response, the woman peeking through the gap in the door to see you’re fast asleep, mouth hanging open as you snore softly.  

She pushes into the room quietly, tip toeing to the bed, the woman grinning when you grumble in your sleep.  

“Maybe I should come back later...” She mumbles to herself, ready to turn around and leave, that is, until your eyes flutter open tiredly.  

“Toby?” You rasp, voice rough from sleep, as you stretch, not even realizing that you’d called Tobin, Toby.  

“Hey.” She moves towards the bed with a smile, smiling at the bleary look on your face.  

“Am I dreaming?” You ask, yawning.  

Tobin snorts.  

“No, you’re not.”  

You grin.  

“SO, that means you came back to see me?” You give her a charming smile and she rolls her eyes, sitting in the chair beside your bed.  

“I guess I did.” She grins and you smirk.

“Couldn’t get enough of me?” You ask cockily and she hums.  

“Oh I’m getting there.” She teases and you grin, brows furrowing when you see the box resting in Tobin’s lap.

“What you got there?” You ask curiously, the forward grinning.

“It’s for you.”

You blink rapidly, brows furrowing.

“Wait, for me?” You say, the woman nodding.  

You shake your head.  

“You didn’t have to buy me anything...” Your bottom lip trembles as Tobin slowly opens the box, your eyes wide when you see its contents.  

“I didn’t. I made it.”  

Your eyes go glassy, mouth agape as you stare at the board Tobin holds up, the skate board covered in a mosh of colors, the bottom colored in exactly the same way.  

“Wait... This is...” You brush your thumbs along the smooth board.  

“This is A Popsicle Skateboard...” You whisper, turning to her with a trembling bottom lip.  

Tobin smiles, reaching for and placing a hand on the board beside your own.  

“Actually, it’s not just a Popsicle Board...” She grins. “It’s the original.”  

Your eyes widen, a lump forming in your throat as you scan the board again, though, this time your hand slides down the board, your fingertips brushing Tobin’s.  

“A-Are you sure?” You whisper, the forward smiling softly, surprising you and herself when she pushes your fingers apart, her fingers intertwining with yours.  

Your cheeks flush, your eyes darting from your tangled finger to Tobin’s face, back and forth until your eyes again lock with Tobin’s brown orbs, her cheeks dusted pink.  

Her lips split into a grin.  

“I’m sure.”  

[underkita-archive]

s.o learning/teaching how to skate

a/n: this was my first work for the fandom but it wouldn’t show up in tags :’) i think i figured out the problem tho~ anyway no proofreading/beta we die like men im srry if this is stupid!!

warnings: some cuss words

summary: s.o learning/teaching how to skate w/ iwaizumi, matsukawa + hanamaki

he notices the bruises and scrapes on your hands and legs and it immediately makes him go !!!

“are you okay do i need to throw someone?”

and you’re just like no?? and explain to him that you’ve been teaching yourself to skate

which still makes him go !!! bc he knows how dangerous it gets n he’s also seen you trip over your own feet (it’s only happened twice he needs to stop bringing it up)

out of concern he states he will be watching your next skate sesh n you just shrug n say ok bc why bother arguing plus it’s more time spent w him

“are you sure you don’t want me to buy you elbow and knee pads?” iwaizumi’s eyes flicker between you and the board under your foot.

“i think i can survive a few more bumps and bruises hajime.” you stick your tongue out at him and start to push forward, away from the skeptical look in your boyfriend’s eyes. you hear him inhale sharply as you take a wide turn and smile as you pass by him, blowing him a kiss. feeling a bit more confident, you take a bit of a sharper turn and feel yourself begin to wobble trying to regain your balance but immediately losing your footing the second one of the wheels hits a pebble. as you fall off the board you brace yourself for the hard impact but feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist and pulling you against a warm body.

“just what the hell am i supposed to do with you?” he hisses it into your ear and sets you back on your feet, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“continue to love me and catch me?” with a roll of his eyes he presses another kiss to your forehead, “hey how about you try?” he shakes his head, scowl deepening with each plea but you have him wrapped around your little finger so it only takes one more ‘pretty please hajime’ before he agrees. he hops on the board with ease and starts to circle you, grinning as you realize this isn’t his first time.

“okay how come this has never been brought up before you look so hot right now.” he stops in front of you and takes your hands in his.

“yeah?”

“mhm.” before he can reply you pull him in for a soft kiss.

you’ve been skating for nearly a year at this point so you’ve grown quite confident

and mattsun thinks you look so mcfreakin hot when you skate so he insists on being there pretty much every skate sesh

he’ll sit to the side in the shade w your water bottle fawning over you, clapping whenever you land a trick and running over whenever you fall

he begs you to teach him but you’re hesitant bc you don’t want him to fall and injure himself and risk having to sit out any games

but he states that he can get injured anytime during volleyball what’s the difference??

you give up on trying to pick at his flawed logic and finally tell him you’ll let him try riding your board (haha riding)

mattsun is beaming as you walk hand in hand to the empty basketball court at the park by his house. he woke you up at 7 am on a saturday just so you could skate and you can’t help but be endeared at how excited he is and how he looks like an overgrown puppy. it’s rare to see him make such an enthusiastic.

“watch me do a kick flip i bet i can do a kick flip and i’ll look good while doing it.”

“absolutely no kick flips for you headass.” you poke at his side and he laughs pulling you along. you set down your board and tell him to put on his knee pads (that he fought you on bringing but of course you won).

“okay now figure out which foot you’re more comfy with having on the board and the one you wanna push with,” you watch as he tests both feet and laugh as he gives you a thumbs up with his right foot on the board, “god of course you’d push goofy.”

“why does my foot have to be on the front why not the back.” you watch in horror as he places his foot farther back on the board.

“baby that’s called pushing mongo, and i will break up with you if you try to do that okay?” he laughs at you and nods. he starts practicing pushing himself along and you can’t help but hover hands ready to steady him. he gets more comfortable and tries to put both feet on but the motion makes him wobbly and his hands reach out for yours. you intertwine your fingers and help him regain balance.

“wait wait y/n pull me!” you mutter something about him being lazy but the sparkle in his eyes makes you concede. you pull him along on the board giggling together as you move around the basketball court. after going around a few more times he hops off the board and pulls you tightly into his arms.

“you suck at skating.”

“you still love me though.” you nod fondly and bury your face in the crook of his neck.

“i’m gonna do it, i’m gonna live life by our national anthem”

“makki????”

“skater boy by avril lavigne”

which is how you two ended up throwing some money away on skateboards and helmets (of course yours are matching)

neither of you have a clue as to what you’re doing so you hunch over makkis phone at lunch watching beginner skate videos ignoring the heckling comments from mattsun and oikawa

and after watching all of one and half vids you two feel like it’s time to give it a try

you watch as makki almost falls for the fourth time since starting your skating practice and this time you’re able to stifle the giggle that builds up in your chest. you make your own attempt at pushing yourself forward on the board, only wobbling slightly.

“hey sweet ass.” makki sings as you scoot by him, you flip him off and grin as he shoots you finger hearts. you both awkwardly roll around trying to stay on your boards longer and longer.

“makki lets race,” he quirks a brow at the challenge, “loser buys dinner.”

“oh baby you are sooo on.” you both make your way to one end of the park.

“okay so whoever makes it to that tree first wins,” you declare, “and no pushing.”

he pouts at the accusation but nods in agreement. you both ready yourselves, foot planted firmly on your board you count to 3, pushing the best you can and desperately trying to keep your balance. you risk a look at makki to see his brows knit together tightly. you’re only slightly in front of him but it’s enough to win. you move to push again when you hit a slight dip that cause you to lose balance and the board to shoot out from under you causing you to fall backwards right into makki. it’s not a pretty fall but your saved from the brunt of the impact by makki who falls backwards while hugging you tightly to him. you scramble out of his grip and straddle his hips as you start to pat at his head.

“oh my god, is your head okay love?” you slip your fingers to the back of his head and feel for any blood, you can feel a slight bump forming causing your heart to sink but you’re relieved at the lack of blood.

“please i’ve not only had oikawa serve to the back of my head but have been bashed by iwa and mattsun’s spikes,” he knocks on the side of his head, “shits solid, and has been empty for years.”

you let out a exasperated laugh at the statement and peck his nose. you help him back and up and the two of you go and retrieve your runaway board.

“cmon my handsome savior, i’ll treat you to ice cream after we go halfsies on dinner.”

[matan4il]

Hi Alice! I just read your meta about 4x09 and absolutely loved it! It's amazing how much the writers like to stress about the unity that is Buck and Eddie. While Buck is not a father it was great to see him integrated into the conversation about his niece's name. Also, add in that Chim rejected both of their ideas, which makes me very amused to imagine what that conversation was like and what names those two came up with. I really liked your meta and how you described the scenes so perfectly 💕

Hi darling! Awwww, I’m so glad you liked it! :D *hugs* And thank you so much for telling me you did, that makes me so happy! OMG, yes! The show is forever reminding us that Buck and Eddie just go together. And yep, you just know those morons came up with the most ridiculous names for the little baby. If Chim “let’s just pick a name out of a hat” Han rejects your name suggestion, you know you done fucked up. XD But I bet 64% of his annoyance (at least) was over how they wouldn’t stop heart-eyeing each other while they were supposed to think about the name choosing task. Poor Chim! Forever done with them. Thank you for making me smile so wide in more than one way with this ask, darling! xoxox

(more under the cut)

I saw someone say that maybe something will happen to chris in the season finale? Not that I want anything to happen to him BUT what if he’s with ana and/or it’s kinda her fault?? Maybe it can be parallelled to when buck ”lost” chris during the tsunami? Like eddie’s reaction to the whole thing could determine everything—like how trusts buck the most with his kid and if he’s really ready for another person to come along? It’s just a theory but I hope they in some way show the differences between ana and buck and what they mean to eddie. Sorry for ranting lol but i look forward to your metas💕💕

Well, if you think about it, we’ve already seen this play out to a degree in ep 312, when Ana’s the teacher in the schoolyard when Chris gets hurt in the skateboard incident. Eddie was furious and that whole ep was full of the contrast between Ana and Buck. Ana messes up with keeping Chris from getting hurt, where we know Buck managed to keep him alive during a freaking tsunami. Where Buck is hard on himself in ep 303 even though he did nothing wrong, Ana is defensive even though it was her job to keep Chris safe. Eddie tells her off, where he reassured Buck that there is no one he trusts more with Chris than Buck. And to top it all off, Ana's view of Chris seemed to be limiting and ableist (made worse by the fact that she was a teacher at a special needs school in that ep) while Buck had no doubts that Chris could do anything, just like that one-armed baseball player, and was willing to work hard to help make skating happen for Chris. I’m with you, I’d like them to re-visit this, but if they don’t? It’s probably ‘coz they think they’ve already shown how huge the differences between Buck and Ana are, and in how Eddie reacts to each of them in relation to keeping Chris safe. I hope this helped, lovely Nonnie! Thank you so much for the ask and for telling me that you’re enjoying my metas! xoxox

Too me it felt deliberate with Ryan saying one thing and Oliver saying another. I've seen people say those type of videos are scripted and I truly believe that. If they didnt want Ryan to say what he said they would have stopped him, if they didnt want Oliver to say what he said they would have stopped him so I really think that's how the people behind the video wanted it to be, kinda like messing with the fans and that not even being Ryan or Oliver's words about Buddie. All I know is both have said they're supportive of buddie and is up for whatever with Buddie and that people need to stop calling them (especially Ryanl homophobic when they say something the fans don't like, that's wrong.

Hi Nonnie! Oooh, interesting take on the Buddie “bromance” vid. You could very well be right, I don’t know if these things are scripted or not, but I def wouldn’t be surprised if they are. Even if it’s not scripted, they can always edit out anything that they don’t like. So yeah, this could very easily be a case of the social media team trying to compose something that they thought would appeal to everyone, both Buddie shippers and general audiences (Oli saying Buck would be lost without this relationship is no small thing, absolutely). I def agree with you that it matters a lot that both Ryan and Oli have said they’d be supportive of canon Buddie. And def, they (and every actor, just like every human) can be criticized for certain mistakes, but as far as I’ve seen, there’s no real indication that Ryan is homophobic. He’s played a gay role before, he’s expressed support for Buddie and I’ve never heard him actually saying anything homophobic. Thank you for this ask! xoxox

[redxblueihateloveyou]

spill the yoi hot takes :o

I’m really flattered with the amount of asks (I hope you won't mind that I combined at least 5, it's just easier this way), interested in my yoi opinions, I wasn’t planning to get into that honestly, until I mentioned it to my friend Alex (I’ve mentioned him here before without a name tho, he’s gay, he’s very into anime, he was also the one behind that 4am text “but how do u think Rin’s teeth feel on Haru’s dick” lol). 

I just didn't want to rewatch it, as I've said before, but something he said got me very intrigued and last week ended up with me staying until 7am for a virtual watch party that got pretty hilarious, but not for the yoi reasons lol.

So just know that to be completely fair we did it and I'm saying everything below with a very fresh impression, which hasn't changed really bc like I'm 25, I was watching it the first time when I was 21, not 14 xD. I think it got worse actually.

Once again, I know that since they’re both gay sports animes comparisons are inevitable, but to me one has nothing to do with the other and no matter the fact that I adore Free! and don’t like YOI, I don’t want to throw words like smth is “superior” out there, bc I don’t want to be like those YOI fans back in the days, who thought that none other gay ships should exist after this (unless they say smth specifically for me to counterattack, then I can say whatever lol).

Like if you love stories like this, it’s okay. Like what you like. But to yell at everybody that they must think that this is how relationships should be and trash every other gay ship in existence, you maybe should not, especially when you don’t really have much to be proud of. Just like kisses don’t make a love story high-quality, full censorship doesn’t take away a good love story.

"Heaven official’s blessing” is also censored, but no matter how much you censor it, their love for each other is seen in their actions so clear, that it is in fact will not take anything away from the power of their feelings and the greatness of their love story if at the end they won’t show them kissing. Just like if I kiss a random stranger on the street, it won’t make us the best couple in the world.

Now I went into watching YOI unbiased the 1st time I watched it (I did watch it after Free, bc it was in “recommended”). I did not expect it to be “like Free”, I just wanted smth that’ll give me the same kind of emotion, investment in the story, ship, etc. It didn’t, so I just moved on.

I didn’t even think deep about why. I thought I just grew out of the “Cinderella” stories a long time ago or as it was here not very gracefully called “how to turn the pig into the prince”.

Like if you want the “she’s all that” but with the boy instead of a girl, you’ll probably enjoy YOI. But once again, love stories I enjoy are the opposite of those. It's really nothing bad, if you enjoy the stuff like “Someday my prince will come” in whatever age tbh, but I since a certain age just wasn’t invested in those anymore and began to obsess with stories like “Anastasia” instead, and I’m talking about love stories with less naivety in between and feelings out of nowhere, but more stuff like “yes, bitch, I find you attractive, true, but whether I fall for you unconditionally or not, only real life situations will tell later on”.

And I don’t mean stuff like going through war together or some epic journey, but grown ups must know those. Those life situations or even tiny things someone do, that make you not only fall for someone, but think “yeah, I can imagine my life with you”.

Like in my humble opinion, you can’t fall in love with someone bc of the way they swim or skate, for example. What ppl call “love at first sight” is in fact “attraction at first sight”. So yes, we do joke about Rin falling in love at first sight, bc he did in fact walked into the hall, saw Haru and was like “dat bitch is so fine”, even tho he was just standing there, but once again, he was just attracted to him. What happens after this is you can go on a whole beautiful journey with tiny Rin putting together the prettiest puzzle of why he falls for Nanase Haruka. In such little things like when Haru slowed down when he saw Nagisa feeling bad during running and Rin was like “omg you’re so uwu”, how he mentions that he always helps ppl, but never asks for help himself, he slowly gradually paints a picture of what kind of person Haru is, same goes for Haru about Rin. And then you have a whole story of them falling for each other all over again when they’re already adults, and you again watch it through their eyes, and once again I’m not in fact talking about some grand gestures like 1x12, I’m talking about stuff like them focusing on Haru’s eyes shaking, when he saw that Rin secretly helps Rei to learn how to swim. It’s the little things, that you watch and you get why they feel what they feel for each other. And that also makes you fall in love more with their characters by seeing how the other sees them.

YOI doesn’t have those moments. Not only they weren’t in any situations that would make them know each other for who they really are, they hardly even know the basic info about one another. Hell, the viewer doesn’t know anything about them. And this is why to me it goes into the category of those typical romcoms I can’t get invested in.

So I don’t think these two can be compared. And while some yell “bc you’re not canon, but yoi is canon”, I think they can’t be compared for another reason. Bc some ppl are trying to prove to me that a 27 years old man fell head over heels in love with someone overnight during a drunk banquet, then watched a vid of him skating and flew to another country and hey “if you win a gold medal, lets get married”. This is not the kind of relationship progression I’m looking for like at all. Between that time he started training him and their “censored kiss” there was nothing and I mean nothing that’d made me go “yeah, I see why he loves him”.

But anyways, lets live piecefully really, you can like one, you can like both, it’s all okay.

Like I know many have ptsd and it’s true that back when YOI was popular, most of their fans for real did annoy to death almost everyone, bc they yelled that No.6 is trash, when someone said “but you’re not the only one gay story that’s not based on sex”. They yelled that Free! has no right to exist bc its queerbating (LOL). By that time, I’m not gonna lie I was ready to poke my eyes out each time I saw smth YOI related, bc it was like: you make a multigay shipping vid -  “how dare u not include YOI”, you make a gifset - “you forgot YOI” like I HAD TO like it just bc it’s gay. There is no such rule to me. Just like I don’t care for some hetero romances, I don’t care for some gay romances. Simple is that. Once again gay has nothing to do with the relationships dynamic and the story.

Yeah, comments about fanservice. Like why should I watch Victor’s naked ass for several minutes every episode, but don’t get to see Haru or Rin’s at least once? So salty rn.

Free is more fanservice-y.. well, it’s hella fanservicy, yes, but like we can’t swim in shirts, you can tho not show naked ass in each episode, I thought you were skating. 

See, it’s all debatable.

But I do wish ppl stop putting yoi relationships on a piedestal, their relationship are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far from being inspirational for many and not even close to the what love is in my opinion. If you seek smth of a very high standart of gay love, choose MDZS for example, idk. But don’t throw YOI at ppls faces as a “this is how should be”. Not everyone wants that.

I don’t need a half-assed engagement and esp the censored kiss (like either do it or don’t do it at all honestly). Also stuff like this should carry weight. I don’t want things for the sake of things.

Like to me Rin’s “the only thing that hasn’t changed in my life is how I feel about you” speech, considering the fact that he felt like that throughout all those years, means hella more, than this. 

I think 1stly, it’s because of the “it’s like it was a destiny xD” factor and 2ndly, bc at least this scene gives a little more sense to the fact that he flew to another country to train him. Now it’s if “I fell MADLY in love in one drunk night and was pining my whole life after that and that vid was a sign for me to go see you again” makes any sense to you. At least that’s how some fans read it.

Once again it might be a good thing for a passable one-time romantic comedy. But plots and pairings like this is what made me turn to anime in the first place, so.. sorry lol.

All this mega tragic posts of “Victor was soooo in love for such long time, it’s so sad” made me laugh so hard. Like he feel in love so hard during a one drunk banquet with a guy who was so drunk he didn’t remember anything he did? WHY? HOW? what could he possibly do to make him fall that hard, no one knows. Like to me the only reason u can fall for someone in one night is if you saw him risking his life saving a kitten or a puppy from a car or smth.

I’m just not the kind of person who thinks you can fall for someone for no reasons. Again, you can find someone attractive and go from there, but there must be things along the way that will make me believe in the progression of it. It can of course all come in the future, but the story was what the story was. Whatever you are trying to add to it is already a fanfiction.

YOI is not boring per se, bc everything goes way too fast and sometimes with no reasoning, so I was more surprised that “this was it?” lmao. But their relationships are dull, yes. Bc there is nothing to even discuss really, you can only assume things, bc the whole thing didn’t give u much, esp in the characters department. It’s just really funny to me that someone would write a whole post of “I love this character bc I presume he’s like that”, usually it’s “I love this character bc facts, facts, facts”.

______

Now back to the beginning of my post and to the funny story that happened. We were randomly discussing shit, when I mentioned about possibly rewatching YOI, bc I didn’t want to start talking about smth in case I forgot some stuff (I didn’t btw lol) and turned out that he freaking disliked it a lot. I never even asked, for some reason, and we’ve been yelling about Free! and other stuff for ages and like his boyfriend is in love with Sousuke and they both adore rinharu to death.

And he has lots of gay friends who love Free (this made me happy the most, btw during our YOI chat I asked and it was 4:1 harurin:rinharu haha I win) and some ships from Haikyuu too, but turns out that literally none of them were into YOI. And the funniest thing he said was “bc it felt more heterosexual than some heterosexual stories I’ve watched”. Now I don’t know if it would make sense to anyone else out there, but I kinda did get what he meant.

I asked if it was bc of the “fairytale setting” and the fact that no one cared that they’re gay (bc “in front of the stadium?!” was the reaction, when I told them “there was a cencored kiss here” (btw not everyone got it lolz) and then “did they just write the story with a girl, but then changed it by the end?”), but they said “no, just the overall feeling”.

And like everyone knows that YOI targeted audience is hetero girls. It wasn’t made for the sake of the LGBT community and none of the homophobic ppl will watch it either, no matter what some think. So for whom they did it the way they did it is very questionable tbh. They say it’s the LGBT representation in anime, and yes, good, great, always happy about, but isn’t it kinda funny that some of LGBT representatives don’t even feel like it apparently.

Now I’m just saying some, I’ve asked him to ask around out of curiousity, and it was only 11 gay guys in total, who watched it, including our company and his bf who was forced into it haha, but 11 is quite a lot, considering the fact that not even 1 liked it. But then somehow stuff like MDZS and even uncanonical mikayuu was highly appreciated and loved, bc it accidentally made a dent in some extra conservative parents and dull ppl.

It’s just much more interesting to hear what guys who are actually dating guys think about all those kind of animes and ships, than some girls here who yell at me stuff like “why are you supporting queerbating”. Btw I asked Alex if he’s offended by that, he said “no, but we for real think they’re doing it” lmao.

It is supposed to be funny. You didn’t get it wrong. But if you saw many ppl would aggressively disagree with you. I just thought that “analysis” was an “interpretive process that draws conclusions from a set of facts”, not “writing a fanfiction based on assumptions”, but then again to each their own. 

The problem is that I don’t even get what’s cute about it, it’s just absurd to me. Like it’s pulled out of an ass, for real. They’re not in the stage of a relationships, when I would find such thing romantic. And all the agressive denying of the fact that it was indeed wedding rings made this scene cringy, too. The whole thing is cringy to me idk. The “win the gold, only then we’ll get married”.... It all gave me a weird feeling. The opposite of “touching”.

So in conclusion, when you skip most of the important parts of the love story and jump into stuff just for the sake of it, then also make fun of it, it leaves a hella weird impression and aparently not just to me.

And once again trying to market some primitive story as an epic love story, just bc it’s gay is extremely weird to me. If you make 50 shades of grey gay, it’s not gonna suddenly become a pulitzer prize winning kind of book, it’ll stay the same dumb af story with dumb af characters, but gay.

So being happy about some representation (and btw they still managed to add stuff like “its not gay if you exchange rings with your hommies” here and there and make it “hahahaha joking”), I get it, but to say that this what all the gay ships should aim for, pls stop. We really don’t wanna. Sincerelly. 

We here stick to a motto “I can picture the kiss of the characters whose story is so amazing, that the kiss is the only thing missing, but if I basically have just a picture of two guys kissing, I won’t write a whole story myself.”

P.S. I will forever laugh now tho at the fact that calling your bf a “pig” and being an arogant asshole without any canonically established reasonings is a great relationships, but Adam with his past gets what he gets now for the “dog” comments even tho his bf enjoys it lmao like I did not remember this bits in YOI. I honestly thought it was like completely “unproblematic” one, but it’s like hilariously not. So what ppl are trying to even put out their as a “pinnacle of the lgbt representation” as you say, like there are for real older yaois that are much better than this.

[ripley95]

Yay! I'm so excited you're doing a prompt list. How fun! Is it cheating to suggest three in one? Somehow first snow, hot chocolate, and ice-skating all go really well together in my mind. If it sounds like too much, though, just choose the one you like best. You know I love fShenko! Of course, if the prompt doesn't end up inspiring your muse or for any reason it doesn't work well, no pressure in not doing it. Anyway, I'm excited too where you go with possible prompts!

I don't think it's cheating at all to ask for three, and I appreciate the challenge! I already had an idea for first snowfall for f!Shenko, though, so I wasn't entirely able to incorporate the ice skating into that, but it's kind of in there. Thank you so much for sending the prompt! It meant so much to me to see it in my inbox!

-

Finding Peace

Pairing: F!Shepard/Kaidan Alenko

Word Count: ~2100

Summary: Shepard has seen snow before, but it's always been ground side while on missions. Having grown up in space, she's never had the chance to truly appreciate it until now.

Read it on AO3

-

Shepard awoke to her room which was still in a dark haze. There was a noticeable lack of warmth by her side, prompting her to rub her eyes and look over to Kaidan's side of the bed. He was already awake, standing by the window, pulling the curtains back ever so slightly in a way that she couldn't see what he was looking at. Light washed over his face as he was squinting out the window, implying that it must already be morning.

"Everything all right?" she asked as she adjusted herself to sit up in the bed.

He promptly let go of the curtain, taking away the only sliver of light, painting the room in a dull grey. It was still bright enough to make out the smile on his face as he turned to her.

"Yeah, everything's fine," he said with a smile as he came to sit on the bed. "I was just waiting for you to wake up."

"Oh, and why's that?" she asked playfully.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, his grin still not fading.

She looked over to him and matched his smile. "I don't know. If you have to ask me if I trust you, that brings up a certain amount of suspicion."

He shook his head at her before he stared at her in wait for a serious response.

"Oh, come on, I think you know I trust you. The question is, why are you asking?"

"Well... It's the weekend. We don't have anywhere to be, and I uh... there's just something I want to show you."

The weekend. That was still a concept she was getting used to. Getting to go home at the end of the day working for Hackett ground side in Vancouver. Having an apartment to come home to with Kaidan. Actually having time off rather than being in a constant state of 'go' when they were still at war. It's exactly the kind of thing she'd always dreamed of but assumed she'd never get the chance to have. The thought of it put a gentle curve to her lips, feeling lucky to have Kaidan in her life.

"That sounds nice," she said, looking over to him again. "That still doesn't answer why I need to trust you, though."

"Well, let's just say my plan involves a certain level of unquestioning cooperation."

Shepard laughed as she stood up and moved to the closet to pull out some clothes. "Should I be worried?"

"No, definitely not," he said, moving over to the closet with her, making a point to pull out her warm jacket and a toque. "I know you're going to love it… but you're going to need to be blindfolded."

"What? Why?" she asked, as she looked at the clothes he handed her.

"Uh uh, no questions, remember," he said with a cocky grin.

She shook her head in amusement. "Mmm," she hummed in agreement. He had said as much. "All right. I'm all in," she said as she looked over at him, matching his enthusiasm.

"Glad to hear it. It'll be worth it. I promise."

---

"When you said I had to be blindfolded, I wasn't expecting it to be for so long," she said as she fiddled with the hem of the blindfold.

Kaidan looked over at her from the driver's side of the skycar. "Hey, don't take that off! It'll ruin the surprise."

Shepard promptly took her hand away from her face and looked over in his direction, despite not being able to see him.

"I wasn't really going to take it off, you know," she said with a laugh at how seriously he was taking it.

"I couldn't take the chance," he said with his own laugh at the situation. "Don't worry, though, we're almost there. It'll be worth the wait."

"Uh-huh. So, are you going to give me any hints?"

"And ruin the surprise when we're so close?"

Shepard laughed at that. "What if I had a guess already. You didn't exactly leave a lot up to the imagination handing me a warm jacket and hat."

Kaidan huffed out a laugh at that, himself. "I suppose you're not wrong there, but you're about to find out for yourself soon enough. We're already here."

Shepard felt the skycar slow down and land gently. She heard Kaidan turn off the engine.

"I'm going to have to ask one more thing of you first, though."

"Uh oh, what now?" Shepard asked with a smile.

"You need to put on these earmuffs too."

"Seriously?" she said, looking over in his direction again.

"Yes, seriously. Trust me, I have a reason for all this. As soon as we get out, you'll only have to walk a few feet before you can take everything off."

"Everything, you say?" Shepard asked, waggling her covered eyebrows in his general direction.

Kaidan snorted. "You know I'd never oppose that, but I don't think I'd recommend it in this particular scenario. Here," he said as Shepard could hear him leaning over from the rustling of his clothes. "I'm going to put these on you, and then I'll come to help you out of the car."

Shepard felt the earmuffs being placed over her ears. Everything was muffled now, but she heard Kaidan's door open and close behind him before she heard her own door open. She felt for the hand that Kaidan was offering and he helped pull her out of the car. There was an immediate and unmistakable bite of coldness in the air. They only walked a short distance before Kaidan stopped.

"Okay, you can take them off," Kaidan said as he let go of her arm.

She pulled off the earmuffs and her blindfold all at once and readjusted her toque quickly as she was met with a beautiful sight. Large snowflakes were falling all around her, if you could even call them snowflakes anymore. They were so big, they almost looked more like small clumps of snow, yet still entirely light and airy. She was surrounded by forest, freshly blanketed in a soft coat of it. The ground was absolutely covered and reached halfway up her calf. There was a pond in front of her that was steaming from the sharp temperature difference, the snowflakes melting away quickly as they touched the water. The absence of sound was striking, especially since living on starships her whole life and even in the city. She'd become accustomed to a constant source of white noise. But now, there was a serene calmness she'd never experienced before in her life. It was so quiet she could hear the flakes powdering the ground. The only way she could describe it was surreal.

This whole time, she'd been looking out at the scenery, barely even noticing Kaidan beside her. She looked over to him, seeing that this entire time, he'd been looking at her in wonder. He finally looked out at the forest, prompting her to look over it again.

"Do you feel it?" he asked, his voice hushed and gentle. "The peacefulness? The silence?"

"Yeah," she said, matching his gentle tone. "This is beautiful, Kaidan."

He smiled as he looked behind him. "Here, why don't we sit?"

She looked behind them to see a large log cabin with a deck and rustic, wooden patio furniture. He sat down on a bench, prompting her to sit beside him. She hadn't even noticed the two thermoses in his hands before now. He poured out some hot liquid in a cup and handed it to her. She smelled it and savoured the chocolatey aroma and warmth before taking a sip. Kaidan poured his own cup before he started talking.

"I know you've seen snow before. We were on Noveria together, after all, so I knew this wasn't exactly a brand new experience for you. But do you remember what you said when we were in port there, waiting for authorization to get in?"

"You mean before we were attacked?"

"Yeah. You were silent for a moment, looking out past the Normandy. It was the first time you told me about growing up in space. You said you never got the chance to appreciate snow before. The only time you'd ever seen it was ground side in the middle of missions, but you never got to savour it. You always thought it looked pretty from the vids on the extranet."

"Yeah, I remember that," she said with an amused laugh. "I joked about possibly getting some shore leave there if we finished the mission quickly enough."

Kaidan nodded. "Yeah. I remember that too. I think about that a lot, actually. I don't think Noveria's the best place to experience snow, mind you. The constant blizzards, the insanely cold temperatures and all that, but the closer you and I got after that, the more I thought, "I can't wait to take her back home with me." Winters in BC were some of my favourite memories growing up. The snow is special, but there's nothing quite like the first snowfall of the season.  It always feels like it puts the world to a halt the way it insulates against the noise. I've never felt more at peace than I have the first time it snows. Even though you were joking on Noveria, I always sensed a lot of sincerity there too. Ever since you said that, I've imagined a time that I could share this with you. It's not every day you get to witness someone experience that for the first time."

She looked at him genuinely, feeling as though she could cry for how sentimental it was. He was right. She'd always wanted a chance to admire the snow in peace. To feel it in her hands, to catch some on her tongue as it fell from the sky. To not need to be in an environmentally controlled suit to be able to withstand the harsh temperatures. It had always been a dream of hers, but she'd never gotten the chance. It was even more than she ever expected it to be. She laced her fingers in his and looked at him. "It's not every day you find someone thoughtful enough to want to share that with them."

Kaidan unlaced his fingers from hers and wrapped his arm around her. "No, it's really not," he agreed. "Was it worth all the trouble I put you through?"

She smiled at him gently. "That wasn't any trouble, Kaidan, but... it was definitely worth it," she said as she took a sip of her hot chocolate, looking out over the forest and the dense flakes falling. She could imagine them making a tradition out of this. Rushing up to the woods to watch the first snowfall, cuddling under a blanket and sipping hot chocolate. Next year, she'd have to watch Kaidan's face light up as they stepped into the snow, the same way he got to watch her this time. She could imagine his sense of wonder and calmness. "I think this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

He held her tighter towards him, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"We've got some free time coming up over the holidays. What do you say to coming back here?"

"I think I could be convinced," she said as she sat up, flashing him a grin.

He smiled back at her. "Good. Mom reserved this cabin all winter for the family to use. We just have to make sure to ask to use it for a certain time. That pond's going to freeze over soon enough. I figure I can teach you how to ice skate."

Shepard let out a roar of laughter. "Oh, I don't know about that. You've seen me dance. I don't think I could get away with ice skating."

"Hmm, good point," Kaidan said as he took a sip of his hot chocolate. Shepard elbowed him in the side and he almost spat out his drink. "What? You're the one who said it, not me," he said with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes at him playfully. "Listen, I'd say we're about on par with the dancing skills, so you might want to shut it," she said, her smile returning.

"All the more reason we could still give it a shot. I'm not half bad at skating. Maybe you'll be better at it than you think. I won't pressure you, though. Whatever you're up for."

"And what if I fall and hurt my hip or something?"

"Then I'll nurse you back to health in front of the fire," he said, leaning in closer to her and grazing her lips gently in a kiss. "There's plenty of other things we could try. Skiing, sledding, snowball fights, you name it. I honestly don't care what we do, just that we're together."

That was a sentiment she knew well. "In that case, I'm up for anything."

[girlofmanyfandoms]

Forbidden Spicy Gatorade Chronicles Chapter One

A/n: Ok, so the cult is getting stronger by the minute so if you haven’t been introduced yet, don’t be offended! I’ll try to go through everyone and introduce you in the next chapter. Erica (@the-never-ending-void) has asked not to be included in this fic.

Key:

Tater - @a-lonely-tatertot 

Lynn - @lesbilynnette

Gray - @silver-snow

Lilah - @tribblemakingalicorn

Cadence - me

Ivy - @imaramennoodle

Molly - @molly-sencen

Farris - @everyonehasthoughts

Speens - @an-absolute-travesty

Holes - @holesinmyfalseconfidence

Connor - @linhammon-roll-bromance101

Panda - @worldwidepandamonium

Meg - @ultralazycreatorfan

Word count: 2,382

Warnings: If you’re reading this, you already know what’s about to pop off

Lilah poked Cadence’s shoulder who promptly rolled over. Lilah poked her several more times, a bit more aggressively. Grumbling Cadence sat up quickly and smacked her head on the top of the bunk bed. She sighed, rubbing her forehead. Her eyes slowly adjusted to her surroundings, taking in the strangely black, purple, and gold aesthetic room.

“Why’d you wake me up?”

“You got a notification,” Lilah said, eyes wide open, handing her the phone, slowly walking out of their shared room.

Cadence furrowed her brows, unlocking the phone before calling out to her roommate. “Wait, how long have you been up?”

“OREOS!” she called back. “Where are the keys?”

“On the kitchen counter,” Cadence replied, checking her emails. 1 unread message from Gray, the AI developer who she made small talk with during lunch breaks.

Dear Cadence,

Good evening! There’s a new play coming out on Mainstreet, called The Facade, and I was approached by the team to create a promotional piece. I was hoping you could help, and we would split the rewards 50/50. The play is about a murder crime, which is plotted out in a series of intricate riddles. The plot twist: the lead detective was the murderer, and had been delaying her trial while she was pretending to gather evidence, and stealing from a suspect to gain enough money to flee. And her second in command was funding the plots without knowing that her boss was the mastermind behind it all.

Ok, now that my boss has read above the cut we can talk freely. The offer is real, and I WOULD like to split it 50/50, I just can’t stand talking all formal, y’know? Anyway, since you said you do animations and stuff as a side gig, I thought maybe you could make the animations, and I’ll edit and do the social networking? Idk, I’m just spitballing here, let me know what you think.

Also, Lilah directed me towards this email, she’s really good at tracking people down.

Sorry if I made any spelling mistakes, I haven’t slept in weeks,

Gray

“Huh,” Cadence huffed, glancing at the clock. 3 AM. She had time. So, grabbing her IPad, she opened Procreate and got to work. The Facade. Sounds interesting enough. But what to draw? A lock perhaps? A silhouette of the main character? Before she could decide, her phone buzzed again, a voice recording this time, from Lilah.

“Hey, so I just ran into two of the actresses from The Facade and they said they want to talk to you about it so you can create a better promotional vid, meet me at the local library, k bye.”

Cadence wished on a shooting star that at least an hour had passed by so the buses would be running. But how wrong she was. It was 3 AM. It was raining. And the library was at least a mile away.

“This should be fun,” she mumbled, grabbing her set of keys, her IPad, and a raincoat before jogging the mile it took to get to the library.

_______

By the time Cadence arrived her hair was drenched and she was so out of breath and tired she thought she was going to pass out. She looked for any sign of her roommate, but she was nowhere to be found. Instead, she saw three people sitting at a table chatting freely and crying laughing. The librarian wasn’t fazed in the slightest. On the contrary, they seemed to be enjoying it, leaning over the library’s registry system, talking with them. Quickly Googling “The Facade,” Cadence confirmed that the two ladies were the actresses from the play. The other one offered occasional comments, mostly just watching the occurrences that went on. Social anxiety kicked in and told her to run in the other direction, but she really needed the money. She forced herself to approach them.

“Hey, I’m Cadence,” I introduce myself nervously. “Lilah said you wanted to speak to me about promoting your play?”

“Cadence! Lilah mentioned your animations, and we thought it’d be a new, eye-catching way to get our work out there,” the first one chirped. “I’m Molly, by the way. I play the detective’s second in command.”

“And I’m Ivy,” the other one greeted. “I play the lead.”

Cadence expected the third person to introduce themself next, but the librarian took the initiative. “Hello, fellow human, you may address me as SPEENS, I accept liver sacrifices.”

“They do that all the time,” the third person assured her. “Tater, by the way. I’m not in the play, I’m just working on a novel with Molly. We met up here to talk to good ‘ol Speens when these bit-”

“Language,” Molly warned.

“When these lovely individuals,” Tater corrected, “decided to make this a research sesh for the book. As if we needed more work. I’m free to fly wherever the wind takes me.”

“Amen to that, sibling,” Speens responded solemnly, pulling five wine glasses and vodka out from under the desk like a bartender. Cadence looked confused, but not against it. “Say, where’s the rest of the crew? Lynn, Gray, Farris, and the lot of them?”

“Farris doesn’t work on the set,” Ivy reminded her. “They’re an archaeologist. Holes makes the sets for us.”

Speens wrinkled their nose, seemingly in disgust. “And the others?”

“Well, if you can take a break, we can meet up with them at the theatre. Even Farris, since I heard their last trip was a bust,” Molly offered.

Without a second thought, Speens put up a sign that read “The Librarian is Out.”

“Do they-”

“All the time,” Ivy nodded. “It’s kinda their thing.”

“But, yeah, Farris and Connor tend to hang around the set,” Molly explained. “They don’t bother anyone, no one bothers them. They’re a bit older, kinda like the authority figures of the group.”

“If authority figures would let you make a dumba-”

“Tater,” Ivy nudged.

Tater changed their wording. “-unwise move in order to see what would happen.”

“They’re responsible for us without being responsible for us, if that makes sense,” Ivy commented. “Let’s get going though, before someone blows something up.” She shot a sideways glance at Speens, who put a hand up in surrender.

________

Ivy swung open the doors to the theatre and immediately had to duck for cover. “What the HELL, Connor?”

They were holding onto some theatre seats, zooming back and forth the row on rollerblades, occasionally losing balance and having to sit down. After a particularly messy turn-around, they decided to crawl over to the red carpeted steps and laid there for a moment. Farris was perched in a seat a row down, calming watching as Connor seemed to be having an existential crisis. Upon seeing Tater and Cadence, Farris got up, carefully stepping around Connor. “New kids?”

“Farris, this is Tater, and that’s Cadence,” Ivy helped. “They’re helping us promote the play.”

“Congratulations, you’re adopted,” they vowed, though Tater looked confused. “What? I don’t make the rules. Oh, wait, I’m supposed to be the responsible one…. Ok, so I make the rules, but they can be bent if the alternative’s interesting enough. Right, Connor?”

“Uh huh,” he called from the floor tiredly. If he hadn’t spoken, he would have been deemed dead.

“Lynn and the rest of the gang are in the back,” Farris informed them, pulling a skateboard from under their seat and helping Connor stand. Connor’s rollerblades flailed a bit as he struggled to get up, but his arm was slung around Farris’s shoulder, supporting him.

“DO A KICKFLIP,” Connor prompted, his words slurred.

“Are you kidding, I haven’t skateboarded since I was six, I need an actual skate park to practice that,” Farris recounted. “And how drunk are you?”

“Yes,” he responded, giggling in a hiccupy way. “Does anyone have more vodka?”

“I got you fam,” Speens said, pulling out a suitcase of alcohol from thin air.

“Anyways,” Ivy interjected, trying to get the conversation back on track. “I’ll go get the others, wait here.”

Ivy returned with Gray, Lynn, Holes, Panda, and Meg, and introduced them accordingly. “Gray works on the special effects, Lynn designed everyone’s costumes, Holes makes the set, Panda is a theatre critic, and Meg is our concept artist.”

“So, other than animation, is there anything else you bring to the table?” Molly asked.

“Well, I do glass art,” Cadence supplied. “It’s probably not relevant, but when it’s still really hot and glowy, which is when you can shape it, it looks like it would make a good snack. Hell, it almost looks like Gatorade. I can show a picture if you’d like.”

Cadence took her phone out and everyone crowded around to see.

“More like Powerade, Gatorade doesn’t come in that kind of blue,” Speens added.

“F O R B I D D E N S P I C Y G A T O R A D E,” Connor yelled, startling Farris.

“NO,” Holes countered, clearly distressed. “Do NOT drink molten glass. You’d die!”

“You call it death, I call it adventure,” Molly smirked. “I’m here for it. C’mon Holes, live a little.”

“Sis, how have you made it to adulthood thinking like that?” Lynn questioned, looking a bit scared.

“And I know how to live, I’m living right now!” Holes countered.

“Sure you are, nerd.” Molly rolled her eyes. “And how many near death experiences have you had, huh?”

“Near death- okay, first of all, I am not a nerd-”

“You kinda are,” Tater mumbled. Holes gasped, putting a hand over her heart as if they were betrayed. “What? You are. You make a living off of reading books.”

“Used to, friend,” Holes clarified. “I’m a freelance artist now. I picked up this gig because of these fools. And good thing too, because now you’re about to poison yourselves! Second of all, um, none?! How many have you had?”

Molly clicked her tongue in disappointment. “Five. Blended corn, acorns, eating soap, eating paper, and an intense game of dodgeball. I haven’t even peaked with these experiences yet.”

“Immortal until proven mortal,” Connor finished for her.

Meg stood next to Molly and held her shoulders. “This girl, she’s going places.”

“Meg, not you, too, I swear to god-”

“sLuRp,” Ivy joined in, grinning from ear to ear.

Holes was getting hysterical. “What the actual hell is going on? Lynn, help me out here.”

“The Gatorade is Forbidden for a reason, kids,” Lynn tried to reason.

Gray stood up with a mischievous glint in their eyes. “Where can we get it?”

“From the crunchy forbidden chocolate powder, of course,” Connor chimed in. Panda gave him a high-five while Holes became paler and paler from the cult forming in front of their eyes.

“This one speaks the truth,” Panda shrugged.

“Ok, what even is crunchy forbidden chocolate powder?”

“Sand, duh,” Connor said matter of factly. “Add some vodka, a martini, and some olives, and you got one heck of a slushie.”

“So that means there must be Forbidden Chewy Lettuce and Flavoured Forbidden Chewy Lettuce,” Tater went on. “Grass and flower petals. Cursed, but not wrong.”

“Ooh, and crackle air can be limestones and sodium carbonate, pies are dirt, bread is wood, and hard candy is metal,” Panda proclaimed.

“Fidget spinners are Forbidden Bagels, too,” Connor helped. “I should know, I tried the other day and cut my lip.”

Farris ignored the last part of Connor’s rant. “The variety pack, I like the sound of that.”

“Farris you’re supposed to look after us and you’re condoning this?!” Holes shouted.

Farris mounted his skateboard. “I’m not condoning anything. I’m enabling and hyping them up without joining in. That’s some big brain stuff.”

“This is why they control the brain cell,” Ivy nodded. “WAIT, ARE MY CHICKEN NUGGETS BURNING?!”

“Ives, you literally set a timer on the microwave backstage, you’re fine,” Tater reassured Ivy, holding her from running to check on her meal.

“Oh, like you know anything about microwaves,” Ivy argued. “You microwave ice cream.”

“It takes too long to soften, and I’m impatient,” Tater defended, turning to address Holes. “And it is eaten with a spoon.”

“Do not start this debate again- you know what, Panda, get ice cream from the mini-fridge, we’re settling this here and now,” Holes demanded.

“I think the real question is why is ice cream so hard,” Speens mentioned as Panda brought a tub of Haagen Daz ice cream. Holes used a fork to attempt to chisel out part of the snack. It wasn’t very successful.

“I think that’s just how Haagen Daz works,” Cadence observed.

Holes saw this as an opportunity to gain some momentum in the argument. “Not just this brand! All ice cream works like that!!!”

“No,” Panda objected. “Not Breyer’s. That stuff is always just right when you need it. Hashtag not sponsored.”

“Did you just break the fourth wall?” Lynn asked. “You know what, I don’t wanna know, just for the love of all that is good in this world please don’t drink the Forbidden Spicy Gatorade.”

“Too late,” Cadence said. “It’s easily accessible. Also, I’m calling E so we can recruit her.”

“Holes, I know you’re hiding it from us,” Molly speculated.

“What are you talking-”

“You’re keeping the Forbidden Spicy Gatorade all to yourself because you know of its power and you want it all to yourself.”

“I don’t HAVE the Gatorade, and I’m explicitly telling you it’s going to kill you if you drink it!”

As the bickering went on, Lynn slipped off to the vacant staff lounge to pull out her phone. There had to be a supplier somewhere who would give them this. She searched for a few minutes, and, after a few dead ends, she finally found an investor. “Cha-ching. Forbidden Incorporated is in business,” Lynn smiled to herself.

“Forbidden Incorporated, eh?” Farris asked from the doorway. Lynn froze and cursed herself for forgetting to lock the door. Now Farris knew of her plans. “Tell you what, I’ll keep your secret under one condition: We split the money 50/50, and get equal control over the decisions. So, deal?”

Lynn hesitated. She wasn’t sure she could trust Farris, but seeing as this was the only way to stop Holes from knowing just yet, she had no other choice. “Deal.”

_______

A/n: So that was fun and took entirely too long to write. I hope you enjoyed it and if you’re in the cult and I didn’t include you, reblog this and I’ll make a list. The next chapter might focus on a smaller group bc there are like thirteen characters here and I’m tired. Peace out!

[divine-draws]

okay i had a whole google doc that i wrote a buncha shit but imma try to CONDENSE it and make my ideas more clear bc there was some wishy washy in there. BUT dabihawks ice skating au bc im gay for that shit. all of it under the cut bc this shit is gunna get LONG. buckle in fuckers. ALSO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT this i will be happy to answer shit :3c

SO fair warning before we begin. i know shit about ice sports. im like 1) not THAT educated nor have i legit participated though ive always wanted to and 2) this is just self indulgent so like if i dont get shit right or whatever dont come at me bro. im here to have FUN and live a bit vicariously. also as for location of all this shit i dont know and dont care and am american so my perspective on things are skewed. anyway cw: abuse mention

so dabi (touya) is a previous figure skater

he’s a figure skating prodigy 

enji was a pro hockey player (id say figure skating but this man was BUILT like a brick shithouse idk man) has a lot of championships under his belt but doesnt even begin to touch the legacy of his one sided rival yagi toshinori

him and rei meet and marry at a young age. she like.. actually liked him then?? shit was kinda okay but things kinda.... got bad quick. the abuse etc was ... yeah. she ends up having dabi and fuyumi (they’re twins babeyy) at a young age too and kinda doesnt feel like she can get out of her horrible marriage 

we wont dwell too much on the bad part of all of this though. anyway rei was a figure skater

p well known and known for her fucking GRACE god she moved so well on the ice.

she was so beautiful and spoke through her movements and enji loved that... and so as a hockey player and with a (now previous) figure skater wife he was like aight my kids WILL take up an ice sport and be the FUCKING BEST

dabi isnt made for hockey. enji tries to get him into it but it’s... nah... fuyumi isnt the best with figure skating. she’s good!! and her and dabi do some pair skating when they’re younger but it’s.. hm. dabi is the one with the clear talent here. (fuyumi is a beast on the ice when it comes to hockey though. will dominate. but she kinda... didnt really continue with it)

enji isnt PLEASED that his son isnt gunna be a hockey player but he still values figure skating and will fucking make sure he’s the BEST at it. and so the brutal training starts. he gets some good coaches and also takes up the coaching mantle 

the thing is.. rei was amazing as a skater but her body just... wasnt really made for all of that??? and dabi unfortunately kinda inherited that. his body hates the impacts and such. he’s amazing at figure skating. he has a grace similar to his mothers but there’s something more fierce to him. 

and honestly !!! he gets far!!

also natsuo comes around. he’s a bit too clumsy for either sport and resents the fact that him and fuyumi are neglected by their father. he also loves touya and gets so pissed seeing his brother so hurt

and shouto is born and this kid was made to be on the ice. he’s skating from the moment he can fucking stand on his own.

obvs enji’s attention is split but it’s mainly on touya who is winning championships and GOING places but it’s still not good enough

anyway idk how far he goes?? but it’s the biggest competition yet and on ice mid routine he lands wrong

one thing leads to the next and he’s pretty much medically retired from a young age. he can skate. he can still kinda preform but he cant do what he used to at ALL and he cant keep up with the brutal pace enji sets. there’s a lot of trying to push him still and it’s just.. not happening

for all it’s worth dabi is kinda glad he isnt doing it anymore. but he fears for his babies brother. shouto is a natural and while yes being a professional athlete of any sort is brutal on your body, his body is a lot more capable

but like touya before, shouto is pushed to his absolute limits. bleeding and injuries and puking his guts out from being pushed too far

there’s a lotta resentment but he still pushes through w skating. 

(side note but there DEF is some todomido/tododeku w hockey player izuku who ends up being coached by THE yagi toshinori and who helps shouto out w making shit his own)

anyway so in the end dabi ends up working at a rink tho lol

it’s p much owned by shigarai and run by the lov (who in this au end up making their own little ragtag unofficial local hockey team p much and play games against other teams like them)

despite his father’s whole career, dabi does enjoy playing hockey with these dipshits

but yeah he enjoys his time working at the rink, fucking around and sleeping in random places and sometimes running the zamboni

he’s also best frenemies with shigaraki. they get along and both deal with a shitty upbringing and despite some slight animosity they both would kill if someone fucked w the other 

(also at some point dabi DEF teaches some little kid classes lol)

also dabi does sometimes skate his own routines from time to time. only when he’s alone really. though fuyumi has a pass to be there though he will gripe still

SO HAWKS AM I RIGHT??

now there is a couple ways to go with this and somewhere in me there is an au with hockey player hawks who takes skating lessons from figure skater dabi BUT

i think for this au we’ll just say he was a figure skater from the get go

i think he WANTED to do hockey as a kid. like shouto he’s also a fucking natural and was skating as soon as he could fucking stand and walk. and he looked up to enji and kinda wanted to take up hockey but 

listen,,, trans hawks. who wanted to be like todoroki enji and be a pro hockey player. shit just.. didnt work like that though and besides he’s a tiny dude and god he’d be fucking obliterated 

he kinda is self taught and the ice is his escape from his shitty home life

idk how this works but listen gotta tie in the commission somehow???

he’s scouted or whatever for figure skating at a very young age and his mom is happy to take the heavy scholarships and happy to sign him over to skate for these ppl and have them push him to be The Best

and this kid is FAST. he’s fast and is insane with his jumps and stg it almost looks like he’s FLYING (which gets him the nickname hawks)

the coaches are brutal and shit sucks and a lot of the time it kinda sucks the life out of the sport but he still enjoys it

he has a love for outfits that legit have flare to them (also im thinking of johnny weir’s one outfit w the feathers but yknow instead of white they are RED) and while he does do routines to boring ass music he mainly likes doing shit different (also dabi was p much forced the whole time to do shit to that boring ass music but on his own he’d use his own music taste to skate to)

and he’s good!! he GOES places. he’s like makes it to the olympics at a young age and is one of THE youngest gold medalists for figure skating

im sure somewhere along the line him and dabi DID meet. it was at some competition and hawks was VIBRATING bc there’s ENJI and he wants and autograph and oH GOD IS THAT HIS SON??? he’s HOT. (and at this time dabi still had his red hair and like no piercings and what little ones he had they were out but this dumbass will not recognize him later on)

but god he needs to chill TF out or he will fuck up in the competition 

he hears about dabi’s whole accident and like feels for him but again it’s not like they were friends. there was more of a slight rivalry and they barely spoke if they did

but so idk like.. between seasons hawks finds himself going like nearly every day to this rink.. aka shigaraki’s rink (also sidenote but lbr it’s really run by shirakumo who kinda has to fucking herd the cats w this group)

as frenemies dabi and shigaraki share their distaste for some of these pro athletes (tho some get a pass) and kinda complain about hawks a bit tho like..... shigaraki cant complain TOO much bc of the money from hawks renting out the rink for a few hours almost every day

dabi is too gay for this shit when he actually sees hawks in action. rip him 

tbh they dont really interact tho (besides dabi telling him to gtfo the rink or he’ll run him over with the zamboni) until one day that hawks catches dabi skating

he was done and should have been gone but he forgot something on the bleachers and then he sees dabi and.. oh boy he’s GAY AF

and also dabi is RLLY GOOD???

and so hawks makes a FOOL of himself and startles the poor guy and p much presses all the wrong buttons w asking why he doesnt compete or something

and i mean im sure they had some SLIGHT progress w talking before. nothing significant but god the walls go RIGHT THE FUCK UP and dabi is pissed

tbh dabi was gunna get to the point where he LEGIT talked to him and maybe lowkey asked him out (he says this but shigaraki calls his bluff) and now there is no way. he storms off and tries to avoid him so hard

and hawks tries to corner him a bit but after some time he does manage to corner him and be like pls just let me take you out to dinner to make up for that shit????

aaand dabi accepts bc listen okay he cant say no to free food ??? like he’s kinda pissy w this guy but also.. listen he has EYES 

anywayyy p much this just leads to them dating

hawks DEF looks him up and watches all the vids of him and like the idiot he is realizes that he met him before ( “oh my GOD i know you” “uh… we’re dating i hope u know me?????”  “nO I MEAN WE MET AT (insert comp)”)

but before that dabi did like tell him some shit. mainly about like how he used to skate blah blah and the whole thing that ended all of that

he doesnt really delve too deep into like his shitty childhood until well later

idk what leads to it but the convo finally comes up and it’s so draining for dabi and hawks is horrified and ready to fight his dad (“listen i just sharpened my skates i’ll just-”)

anyway some side things bc this is long and i will answer questions on this tho

rumi is a women’s pro hockey player and fuyumi who actually follows hockey and shit has the BIGGEST crush on her (they end up together)

also natsuo comes to see one of the leagues games (he hasnt really seen them play tbh?? he hears about it from dabi but he lives like at least a few hours away on campus and is going for med school so rip him) and like he meets shigaraki and anyway dabi is losing his FUCKING MIND bc his best frenemy/boss and his younger brother are FLIRTING. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM???

dabi and hawks are really gay together and have skated together by this point and made out on ice a few times and shigaraki was miserable and is like “NOW U KNOW!!” and dabi is pissed bc “yEAH BUT THAT”S MY LITTLE BROTHER??? IT”S NOt thE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

[azrcxlfatale]

under the cut you’ll find saint’s intro, its just a brief run down for now until i get bio pages up but it should help get a sense of the boyo all the same !! he is gentle and friend shaped is all i can say ajjdfg. THIS HAS NOW BEEN UPDATED WITH LIKE FIVE EXTRA LIL MORE CURRENT HEADCANONS! [ they r just like for his own growth nothing major has happened with saint and he’s still fundamentally the same as he was bc he’s always been a more laidback and less tragic muse but feel free to read em bc they do help contextualise how he’ll be career wise and with grandmami] : 

   CHWE SAINT: 

so for the best part of his life saint was raised with his ‘grandmami’ as he terms her, but she’s better known to the whole island as ajumma solmi. for this reason he’s very doting toward her and a real grandma’s boy. he bakes with her often and they can often be found on street corners selling cheap priced but some of the finest flowers to the citizens because it’s grandmami’s tradition and its mostly done in hope to uplift the islanders and bring joy to their day in a small way and act of love. 

when i say doting i mean doTInG, he will help her in and out of chairs, help her cross streets, hold the groceries for her as she crosses, open doors for her even if grandmami insists he stops fussing because ffs saint ur making me look ancient and i’ll have u know i am still fighting fit and could knock any idiot on his ass with a fliCk of my finger. ajdhf. she is v fiery, if saint is like the picture of elegance and good manners then grandmami is the sTARK contrast. she has one hell of a potty mouth and just a no time for ur shit attitude. if anything saint is keeping her in line, not the other way around. 

his quirk is warp gate. he rlly just uses it to entertain himself mostly and help give his pals quick escapes when a prank of some sort has gone wrong. he can basically create portals out of a dark fog which can either be emitted through his breath or openings at the end of his fingers which he can activate, anyone can also use his portals to travel so long as he’s given them permission.

he just exudes sunshine rlly. is well known round the island for his out of this world smile which has been known to charm many. he is a very eligible and sought after bachelor but saint is like...not interested mostly bc he just like has no romantic awareness ahdhfhf not bc he doesn’t want it. and also bc he doesn’t like the way it’s mostly super young girls and guys just like awestruck by him. it feels a little too much like he’s a collective childhood crush by his groupies so yeah he is OBLIVIOUS. 

very humble and incredibly polite. just really down to earth whenever spoken to but being raised by an elderly person kinda makes u a little outdated, for this reason saint is kind of demure and bad at conversation mostly due to the fact he can easily talk for hours about his plans for baking with grandmami later, the book he read her this morning, the lovely walk they took in that gorgeous spot which he rlly recommends etc but he is god awful at talking about like typical young people stuff. 

lot of ppl think he plays hard to get, this is not true, saint just fr does not know how to fuckin speak and is the most oblivious person in the world to how to flirt, he’s easily flustered but bad at knowing when he’s being flirted with or if this person is just rlly nice and is usually too shy and respectful to rlly push luck by flirting in response hfhfjkg. USELESS. 

very 70′s/80′s aesthetic bby boy, sweet summer child. he is obsessed with old classic black and white films, had a collection before he moved to the island which he misses like everyday but luckily he has memorised ten million quotes. also collected records. obsessed with anything retro, is a collector of gaming merch. but he didn’t get to sneak much to the island :-( the only thing he rlly snuck was a small record stash. liked roller skating, bowling, drive in movies. dresses very retro but refined and classy with lots of layering. rlly good knowledge of classic literature. 

most likely to find him at the arcade in the funzone now on the island, he is a master at all the games but esp the old retro ones, usually goes early morning or late evening so he can spend hours uninterrupted on them and beat his high score everyday a bit more. if not there then he’ll be at zen’s computer gaming instead. he likes all tech really but prefers retro, he’s still figuring out modern. before coming to the island he was rlly getting into VR. if he’s not in either of these places, he’ll be on the beach in a volleyball match or doing a jog. still v much into his sports. 

ultimate sike power cause people think he looks like ur typical jock fuckboy but jokes on u he is pure of heart and dumb of ass himbo just blessed with ethereal looks, he is the breed of good lil boyo and that is all. 

obsessed with milkshakes and popcorn at the diners if he’s ever there u can guarantee that is what he is snacking on or treating himself to. his weakness is churros he fucken thinks that shit SLAPS. he’ll do anything if the prize is churros.  sMH someone help his diet. also loves fiddling with the jukeboxes there ajdjd. 

has two pet geckos one is peach colored and called zelda, the other is black and white leopard spotted and named zeus and he also has a chonk of a fluffy grumpy white cat called yoshi. he is the best. saint is a huge animal lover but probably still not on nyx’s level of dog worshipper. 

weeb. not as big of a one as nyx but he likes haikyuu, kuroko no basket, given, fruits basket, free! and yuri! on ice. he is very into anything that is slice of life or sports anime. 

has the nickname ‘koda’ bc of the movie brother bear, nicknamed after the lil baby bear cause he just reminds people of a baby bear ahdhd. 

he studies art, spends half his life in the studio working, big art nerd. once he gets in the work mode, he just does not stop for anything but water and snacks and goes at it all day into half the night. usually does big projects bc he loves a challenge. mostly paints, sometimes sketches. u know those vids of people mixing paint colors like a swatch of gold and turquoise? saint fuckin loves those so bad unf he does that all the time to calm himself. 

still lives with grandmami currently, he’s looking at getting his own place bc everyone tells him if he ever wants to have his own life then he needs to but he’s just v anxious about leaving grandmami on her own bc she getting older by the day and she’s all he has sO she cannot get hurt!! 

also in a bit of a dilemma with his art bc he kinda wants to make something out of it, like maybe teach some classes sort of thing and use it more as a career but right now he does not have the confidence in his ability and is mostly just doing it for fun and as a calming thing ( he’s an idiot he’s rlly fucken good pls someone make him take himself seriously )

never cusses but does say bitchin a lot, only ever uses fuck in bed basically so if u ever hear him say it then u know something next level has gone down bc saint refuses to swear even if he stubbed his pinky toe.

looks like a cinnamon roll but HE FUCKS!! boy is a kinky freak however saint has no shame or embarrassment like he will discuss it as casually as a discussion of what to have for dinner not bc he is like lewd but purely bc to him its rlly natural and like another form of art and he does not get the embarrassment or secret nature of it all like it is just factual to him that we come into the world like that and ppl enjoy it sometimes ajsj. 

gardening enthusiast!! has a fascination with studying plants and insects tbfh. still uses 70′s and 80′s kewl kid slang like unironically someone help him pls. sjjdjf. cute bonus fact: has freckles all over his shoulders and down his back. UWU. 

COUPLE OF CONNECTION IDEAS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD??: 

i would love for him to have a muse for art and/or to be someone’s muse. also and maybe interchangeably someone to kinda be his art mentor and be like saint u could pursue this fr if thats ur dream, then do it pls share this talent dont let ART DIE!!

someone he does gardening and insect studies with who gets his nerdy enthusiasm over it. 

a regular who gets flowers from him and grandmami, maybe he makes a special bouquet for them every day which always has a different meaning in the flower language bc he is soft like that ajjfl

someone who he can take on loads of cute lil platonic diner dinner dates bc he is a huge foodie as we can tell. this one is super fun like I imagine they scam tf outta restaurants that are over priced and for the elite by being like we all kno married couples or people getting engaged, celebrating anniversaries etc tend to get better deals on their meals. so he’s essentially doing this one bc he likes ur muses company and enthusiasm for food but also bc it means cheaper high quality meals for both and a guaranteed good time.

someone to nerd out with him over classic literature or films bc that would be hella cute

maybe someone who is also close with his grandmami and rlly loves spending time with her as well so he kinda trusts them to take care of her and trusts their judgement when they r like saint chill let the lady live okay go and do ur own shit akskf

he usually jogs alone but it would be cool for him to have someone to do that with and like table-tennis and shiz cause he just loves fitness activities and active leisure stuff too. 

maybe someone who is tryna teach him a little more about how to uH TALK LIKE SOMEONE HIS DAMN AGE AND STOP BEING SOME RETRO MAN STUCK IN MODERN TIMES AJDJD

UPDATES:

so a lot about saint hasn’t overly changed because like he just is and has always been a very wholesome laidback boyo but just a few bits of like additional info for his personal growth can be added:

he’s owner and manager of the florist now, grandmami is also there most of the time and handles a lot of stuff when she’s feeling up to it but with her getting more tired more easily from her illness saint needs to head everything really.

he grew up in a neighbourhood on hosu which like consisted of his entire street pretty much being full of his aunts and uncles so now like it’s a street just littered with all his tiny cousins who like to follow him about everywhere and play ball games etc on the street with him and kinda take it over shs. you can hear their joyful playing from like streets over it’s very cute.

his mother gave him up when she realised she was pregnant with him and too young to raise him and that it would hinder her from pursuing the life she wanted with his father. saint doesn’t hold any resentment for her choice, it only bothers him that his grandma has always had a serious illness since the early days of talks of her having no choice but to take him on and that despite this his mother allowed him to be left to her care and another burden on her when she was already so ill.

grandmami is now at a point where she’s hanging in there but she won’t have long left and saint is essentially now her live in carer till her final days which is hard af for him but he refuses to let it show. he’s not sure how he’ll function when he loses her. right now he’s trying to extend the florist business into a wellness one as well and more of an apothecary so he can keep himself stable and busy.

this is more just a cute fun fact but he’s a Christmas Eve baby. uwu lil boyo was born on the night before Christmas bc of course he was sdjdj.

[forestwater87]

A moment to chat about “The Butterfinger Effect” (obv spoilers for S4e17)

Wow, so a lot of people fucking haaaaaated this episode. And since I’m addicted to That Discourse, I had to say something because I think they’re super wrong. (And this isn’t me just being a total Camp Camp fangirl here; like, the pee episode was bad. That was bad tv and bad for all the senses. There have been mediocre and even shitty episodes of this show; this just wasn’t one of them.)

There are a couple different points of criticism aimed at this episode, and while there’s one I’d like to take a deep dive into in particular I might as well take some shots at the others real fast:

The moral was too obvious: god, you guys whine all day and night that you wanna see Max show character growth and whenever he displays it you hate how it’s done. This show has never been one for subtlety. I mean, the climate change ep? This is how the show works; it’s part of its twisted-Saturday-morning-cartoons charm, it’s the most efficient way to get a point across in a short runtime, and it was the set up for the joke at the end of the episode.

It didn’t advance the plot: bitch what plot are you talking about???

Not enough dad//vid: listen I’ve made my thoughts about the fandom’s idea of dad//vid incredibly clear at this point, so let’s just:

The most common argument, though, is that it’s all so very “unrealistic” and “out of character.”

Considering the show’s concept of “realistic” involves squirrel armies (hey, another mediocre episode! See, I can call them when I see them) and a universe-destroying space octopus, I’m not sure how to rebut that without another Bianca del Rio gif. So, the out-of-character accusation. 

Listen, characterization is hard as balls. Everyone fucks it up sometimes, and not every characterization in every episode is gonna work for you. 

But you know who nailed it this time? Eddy Goddamn Rivas, the writer for this episode, that’s who.

In fact, I’d argue that the entire point of the episode is that it’s not Space/Race Kid’s new interest that caused the majority of the changes, or some sort of mystical “butterfly/finger effect,” but Nurf’s attempt to put things back to “normal.” He caused the thing he was trying to prevent -- which happens to dovetail perfectly with the moral of accepting change and not letting it freak you out.

This episode is brilliant, and plays with the canon characterizations of all our campers while staying true to them, and I’m gonna show you how.

Under a cut, because not everyone has time for that shit. But first, a juicy preview of the sexy discourse to come:

Space Kid

This one is the easiest to defend, because Space Kid is just . . . Race Kid. Aside from maybe having an idea that he’s cooler than he used to believe he was -- which makes sense, because why do people buy fancy sports cars except that they think it makes them look cool? -- we’ve seen his tendency to latch onto an interest and go 110%. 

Reasonable, hilarious, and adorable. I actually don’t think anyone has any problem with Race Kid, so this is a quickie. 

As for why he dropped it so fast: I mean, hasn’t everyone gotten really into something before deciding it wasn’t as fun as an old hyperfixation? I’ve been coming back to the Camp Camp well since 2016 because it’s just so much fun.

Nurf

Nurf is the one I think people are sleeping on. All the time, always, but especially in this episode. The summary hints that Max is the one unable to handle the idea of change -- something this entire season has been working towards, and I literally just realized change has been a thematic thread throughout several of the episodes and that’s really cool -- but it’s actually Nurf who can’t stand the thought of things being different.

And, in trying to prevent the “butterfinger effect,” he sets it in motion. The irony is delicious, and his head in a fishbowl makes me laugh every goddamn time.

(Also, “A battle of wits is not my strong suit” was just hysterical. Nurf is full of great lines and y’all need to stop ignoring what a comedic goldmine this kid is.)

Preston

Oh, I’m sorry, are we shocked that Preston would jump at the chance to be admired by people, even if it means doing something he doesn’t particularly enjoy?

Were we all in comas during the episode this very season that was literally only about this exact thing?

As to why he’d pick football: he’s a theater kid addicted to the corniest, most cliche tropes. When he got a taste of power by bullying Nurf -- which was also totally in character, because honestly, Preston is not a very nice kid -- of course he went to the thing that in every 80s teen movie meant “cool bully who’s super popular”: the sports jock.

Add to that getting positive recognition from Campbell -- who we’ll get to -- and this swap is totally in-character, and entirely kicked off by the power rush he got from finally getting to be the one who bullies instead of being bullied. 

Nurf created his own worst nightmare by being afraid of change. This episode is fucking brilliant.

Harrison

To nobody’s surprise, Harrison is a sadist who thinks he’s hot shit.

He’s emotionally traumatized Neil to win an argument, he’s made Max vomit up, just, like, so many things and shown zero remorse, and got an unflappable sense of self-worth that skates right off the edge into total egotism.

These are the things we love about him. (And yes, obviously his arrogance comes from a deep well of insecurity, but that only exacerbates why he’d absolutely refuse to help Nurf, because it gives him a chance to be better than someone.)

As for why he’d choose to model himself after goth!Max . . . 

Honestly, this one doesn’t entirely make sense to me. He’s never shown any particular interest in Max. The only thing I can assume is that . . . well, actually Max was right, and at least in Harrison’s eyes, he is at the top of the social hierarchy. And he got there by giving zero fucks about what anyone thinks of him.

Which is what Harrison did, by refusing to help Nurf. We come full circle!

(WAIT: When Max asks why he’s acting like . . . you know, him, Harrison’s response is, “Why? It’s not making you insecure, is it?” While we could take this as “I’m coming for your shtick,” it could also imply that Max’s general Maxyness makes Harrison feel insecure about who he is. Which explains why, as soon as he’s offered a chance to emulate someone who makes him feel insecure, he chooses Max.)

Ered

Nerris and Ered have established themselves as friends, and she at least has expressed a token interest in playing DnD before. She’s listened to Nerris talk about this stuff enough to repeat it at times -- albeit incorrectly -- and so, when there’s “nothing better to do,” she tries something her friend is super into and finds it really fun and embraces it.

I can attest that DnD totally turns you into a massive, shameless nerd. It’s just that awesome.

Plus, she’s too cool to give a shit if people think she’s being nerdy, so of course she’s not embarrassed about being seen dressed like a Viking; in “Ered Loses Her Cool,” she had that moment of growth where she decided that her coolness comes from her happily choosing to be herself. 

Also, she gets to carry an axe around. So like, extra cool points for that.

Nerris

Nerris is gonna grow up to be a band geek, and she’ll especially enjoy the theatricality of marching around in parades while dressed like a Christmas Nutcracker. It’s like being a real-life bard.

This is the only one that really has a “supernatural” level to its change, except maybe the counselors (yes, I’ve come around on Neil; I’ll defend him at the end). While everyone else can be explained by psychological and in-character reasons, I have no idea what caused her to suddenly have this whole getup. I’d chalk it down to her seeing everyone else trying something new and being interested in upping her LARPing game, except she explicitly says she doesn’t know where it came from.

It’s one of the few that doesn’t make perfect sense, but I don’t really mind it because it’s such a top-tier episode otherwise.

Dolph

This is another one with questionable backing in the rest of the canon. However, I think it works less on a characterization basis than on an archetypical one. 

Hear me out: how many artists actually make it professionally? And how many of them end up falling back on something solid and lucrative and artistically unfulfilling to pay the bills? Some people are of course lucky enough to land their dream job, and others are lucky enough to find something close enough to that dream job to make money while still doing something creative and adjacent to their interests (becoming an art teacher, for example).

But in Hollywood, at least, the idea is that you’re either a professional artist who Makes It, a starving artist who’s sacrificing for their dream, or a total corporate sellout who abandons their soul for the sake of profit. A child, especially one with a father so unsupportive of his artistic interests, would only have the Hollywood idea of success to fall back on, which means if Dolph was tying to think of a way to “grow up” and stop wasting his time on being an artist, of course he’d jump straight into the most famously corrupt, artistically soulless type of job possible.

The problem here, of course, is that I don’t know what triggered it; like Nerris, I don’t really see a clear line from motivation to new hobby. However, it works really well at poking fun of the “artist to sellout” pipeline portrayed in popular media, so I certainly can’t be mad at it.

Also, look at these credit scores:

David’s score is either astoundingly good -- 825 out of 850 -- or astoundingly bad -- 325 out of 850 -- depending on what that first number is. Gwen’s credit is pretty bad, which isn’t surprising considering she’s working at Camp Campbell, but I’m still proud of her for being either the second- or third-highest person at the camp.

None of the campers should have credit, so these numbers are just goofy, but I’m as shocked by Nikki’s “exceptional” credit as I am by Nurf’s “literally not on the chart by 298 numbers” rating. Assuming Dolph made at least the campers’ scores up, and we know he’s pretty good friends with Nikki, I assume he gave her a higher score because he likes her, Max’s is trash because their relationship is rocky at best, and Nurf’s is just petty and spiteful because he bullies Dolph, and I just love it. 

(I assume Mr. Campbell’s credit is in negative numbers, and QM doesn’t exist on any official records.)

Counselors & Campbell

Campbell, I’m going to argue, makes sense.

This? Not so much.

I have no idea what Gwen’s talking about -- “I need her showing. We all agreed to it”???? -- and literally none of this makes sense in any understanding of characterization or anything, but my counterpoint would be:

Look how cute Gwen looks dressed up like David.

“Mumble, grumble, aliens!” and something about Mormons in David’s cheery voice adds 5 years to my life.

David’s floof is now beard.

David is wearing plaid.

QM. Just . . . QM.

Did I mention that Gwen looks so fucking good here? I swoon. So hot. Babe. Step on me, mommy.

Anyway. Campbell. 

He’s not what you’d call . . . nurturing, by any means, so at first this weird dad!swap is totally out of left field. However, he has proven himself to be . . . well, not a great caretaker, but someone who does put in the effort when he has to, and is surprisingly good at dealing with the kiddos when forced.

He’s also proven himself to be remarkably introspective, starting back in Season 3. He does to an extent feel bad about what he’s done, and to varying extents wants to make amends for it. So when he starts talking about legacy, and what a man leaves behind -- 

-- I can’t say I’d be all that surprised if he stumbled upon Preston trying to be “cool” with sports camp and decided (probably with the help of whatever supernatural strangeness came over the other counselors) that he wants to have a better impact on this camp than a bunch of broken-down equipment, a pile of debts, and a “son” who’s disappointed in him. 

Listen, what I’m trying to say is that I will die defending my Trash Grandpa and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. There’s good in him!!!! I CAN SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!

On a less “Campbell is my dad” note, as a rather stereotypical Manly Man(TM), he’d be best served helping some weedy little brat become more traditionally masculine. i’m saying Campbell was great at football in high school and is in part reliving his glory days, okay?

Nikki

Oh, come on. Nikki’s always shown an interest in science, and particularly in the mayhem it causes. When Neil is out of commission, and she sees that everyone else is doing major hobby swaps -- including Ered, who I believe she still sees as her idol -- why wouldn’t she want to join in on the fun in the most destructive way possible?

The show didn’t say she was a good scientist, after all. 

Neil

Remember when I said I couldn’t defend Neil? WELL SURPRISE BITCHES, TURNS OUT I CAN! 

(I didn’t realize it until halfway through writing this post, to be fair.)

But think about it: the boy does not respond well to his mind being freaked. We have observed this.

This is not a good reaction to an unsolvable logical problem.

I’m just saying, there’s not a huge difference between these pictures. Neil doesn’t do well when his brain is overloaded with things he doesn’t understand, and everyone around him turning into different people -- which is how it must look from their perspective, even if I can sit here and explain it in ways that make sense at least to me -- broke the poor boy’s brain.

He’s a very fragile ecosystem, our little Neil. You must protect him from thinking too many thinks and getting overheated.

So . . . yeah. This episode is rad, way more of it makes sense in terms of the characters’ motivations than people are giving it credit for, and the ones that don’t make a ton of sense are at least funny and clever enough to be overlooked, at least in this broad’s humble opinion.

[relaxandlaughatyourself]

Recap of Ika and Dem’s IG LIve December 9, 2018

They’re driving, Ika: “Demetres is right here, doesn’t he look nice? Look at his haircut… isn’t he so cute?”

They just finished Elijah’s games in St. Catherine’s and they’re going downtown, to an event at the Keg.

Thanks us for the support on youtube, they really, really appreciate it. She’s amazed that they get the numbers they do, because other channels do not.

Ika turns the phone around because Dem wants her to show us the views. Ika says Dem loves the views, Dem: “I like my views, that’s why I date you, baby.”

Ika wants to do more glam makeup but not too much.

Ika mentions that people accuse them of deleting the chapstick challenge, but youtube took it down. When that vid was taken down they lost almost 1k subscribers. They’re not going to delete videos because it hurts them. They’re trying to be careful with what they put out because they don’t want them reported or removed. But the subs are growing back and they’re so happy.

They do keep track of our suggestions and will do some of them. One of them they liked is reading and reacting to comments from their videos, because some are so amazing.

They can’t believe the places where people are from and how we’re from all over.

Her hair is a wig from DivasWig, but she doesn’t wear it as they show you to; Dem cut it for her.

They were at Elijah’s tournament and she was supposed to record some stuff for Elijah, but it was too intense that she didn’t get any.

Ika: “What is the yoga challenge? Demetres would fail epically at that one.”

Dem isn’t dropping her off at the door. Dem: “One day I’m going to drop you off and not come back.” He did drop her off at his work party, but she has to remind him. But after the video, he does pull up to the front of the condo and picks her up. Dem says that he’ll drop her off, they’re there. But then Ika says she doesn’t want to walk in by herself.

They went to Dem’s work party and then met up with Gary. She never got a good picture at the party.

Ika: “I’m a pain, I don’t know how he does it… actually I know how he does it.”

Someone mentions his fade is fire, and Ika gets so sweet and happy, “look at him, look at him, I love it.”

Ika says it was so funny how the kids thought them being on her IG made them famous, when she’s not even famous.

They hate parking downtown, and Dem notes that if you live downtown you don’t have to pay for parking, just an uber.

Someone wants Dem to say something in Greek, he asks her what to say. “Say Ika Wong is the Queen and she is the best.” He doesn’t know how to say Queen. Ika: “That’s the first thing you should have learned when you met me.” He says that his Greek isn’t that good but he can understand it really well; it’s tough because things don’t translate as well.

Ika notes that the windows are so tinted that people can never see if they’re in the car or not; he gets out and shows us how dark the windows are. Dem: “The cops love it.”

Dem takes credit for every subscriber they get. Ika: “You’re a whole mess.”

Ika says that they get invited to all these events, and the only ones they RSVP to are the ones with food. They got invited to one with the Raptors and Real Events, and the first thing Dem asked was if there would be food there. But Ika still wants to get invited to all of them.

Elijah has a basketball game and they RSVPd to an event at a restaurant. The basketball game came up last minute so they went to the game, but they were both bummed that they missed that food event.

Dem says there is a Christmas Market behind them, they should go. But Ika says she doesn’t like the cold. How he gets when he’s hungry, she gets when she’s cold.

Ika: “Oh’s messaging us.” Dem: “Probably work.” They try to decipher the message Dem got.

Dem: “No one likes being outside when it’s cold.” Ika: “You have this whole set of things that says otherwise. You have a snowboard, skates, you have snow things, skate things.”

Someone asks if he likes living in Toronto. Dem: “Love living in Toronto. There’s good and bad parts obviously. Hanging out in traffic for a quarter of your day sucks, the parking sucks. The rest of it is sweet.”

Ika wants Dem to do a video where he breaks down the cost of things. Ika says his brokerage is downtown, and when he drove from Thornhill to downtown the first day he calculated how much it cost him. Dem: “When you’re running a business, you need to know your expenses. You need to know your numbers.” He says when it comes to youtube he is the analytics guy, Ika is into the content more.

They talk about trolls on youtube a bit, and how they just don’t understand them. She doesn’t get jealous of other people, like youtube.

Ika says she gets jealous of dumb shit, like if Dem hugs someone a little too long, and she doesn’t dwell on it. “I’m just obsessed with Demetres and crazy, so… if he’s hugging someone a little too long… I don’t say it to him, I just feel it and then it’s gone. It’s normal things.”

Ika asks Dem if he gets jealous ever. Ika says they were at a house party and they were at different sections of the house. A girl went over talking to Dem and he put his hand on the fridge next to him, just leaning on it, but the girl was under his arm. Ika knew he wasn’t interested in that girl and he just wanted to lean, but it looked bad. So when she glanced over and he put his arm down, but she had to talk to him and tell him to be conscious of what he’s doing. She says she wasn’t threatened by her and is never threatened by other women, but it looked bad, and Dem understands why it looked bad.

Ika says that Dem has friends who are girls, and he’s just friendly with women. “I don’t like him being friendly with women. Don’t judge me… or do.” She’s used to his friends, so he doesn’t care because they’re all friends. But then he’s friendly to other people… Dem: “This is how you know you lived in Toronto for too long… you don’t want me to be friendly.” Ika says that he went in for a whole hug, and that made Ika jealous, but it was quick and she was over it. He needs to work on his hugs, “I had to regulate that, because I am not here for it.” Dem understand this too. He says none of this came from a place like that, never his intention.

Ika says that one time there was something spilled in front of the elevator and the security guy asked this woman clean it up and Dem offered. Dem says that the woman asked if he had paper towels in his place, so he got their paper towels and cleaned it up quick. Ika: “The only person I need you to be extra friendly with is me. Everyone else you can be nice and decent. Forget nice, you can be decent. You can’t pick up garbage for these people, what are you thinking? I don’t want my boyfriend being extra nice to girls. This is my truth.” They laugh about it. Dem: “Has anybody seen my water bottle?” Ika says every woman feels this way, they just may not say it. Ika says his new year’s resolution should be to be decent to people, and follow her footsteps. Ika: “I know I sound crazy, I know.”

But those are things she feels jealous of, she’s never stewing at home.

Ika says Dem is more jealous than her, but she doesn’t do things to make Dem feel jealous. He’ll get jealous if he thinks another man is interested.

Yesterday they saw a kid and his car stranded in the road and Ika told him to help him. Dem asks if it was a girl, could he help her. “If she’s a girl kid, yes. But you’re not Captain Save-a-Ho.”

Ika: “It’s not that I’m threatened, it’s how I look in public. It’s all about aesthetics.” Dem: “These people are gonna think we’re crazy as fuck.” Ika: “I’ll be crazy for everyone… all the women are feeling this.” Ika says she will say things so when it’s 10 years down the road she doesn’t freak out, and it takes time to break habits. Dem: “I’m learning. But you didn’t come with a manual.” Ika: “A manual? Every girl freels this way.” Dem says with this thinking, he wants to let her know that she should take her makeup out of his car. Ika says it’s all about delivery and his was wrong, it wasn’t nice, and if his delivery was different, she would have considered. Ika: “I feel attacked. That was yelling and aggressive.” (It was not, they’re joking about it all.) Dem: “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way… I didn’t think it would work anyways.”

Ika jokes hat she’ll leave things in his bags and cars so he can’t go that long without thinking about her. Ika: “I’m kidding, guys. I’m joking.” Dem: “Too funny, baby.”

Dem says he’s hungry. Ika and Dem say they learned about aesteics, jealousy, decency, when to be nice and decent. Dem: “We’ll end the lesson right there, we don’t want to overwhelm you.” Ika: “Don’t harbor on the jealousy, that’s not healthy. If you have a problem, let them know so you’re not dwelling on it for years.”

Dem: “Baby, I love you so much.” Ika: “Really? What do you want?” Dem: “The things in the car kinda bother me.” He asks if that delivery was better, but Ika says words like annoyed and irritated are triggers, and too much. They talk about their delivery. They laugh about it.

Dem asks if Ika wants to be dropped off or walk, she says they can walk. She then says the Christmas Market looks really pretty, and Dem says he said that. They talk about going, but they need to go to the event.

Ika: “It’s important to find someone who understands you and accepts you, and even though I sound crazy, he knows I’m not crazy. If you make a face, I’ll kill you. Dem: “You know, I love your crazy.”

Ika says Dem found this song called Beautiful Crazy and they like it, it reminds Dem of her. He says it took her like four days to listen to it, because she judged it.

The end it as it runs out of time anyways. She says she’s thankful we know she’s not crazy. “I mean the things I say but not the way I say it.” They say bye to us to go to the event.

[chloes-yellow-cup]

Nowish - Part 8

Bechloe. Staubrey. Bellas Squared/Stechlobree.

A story in which I convinced myself by accident that this could work. Let me try and convince you too.

Nowish Master Post  - Everything on one page.

A Shared Lifetime - All my fics

Recommended Mood Music on Spotify. Artistic license taken with song release years.

Note on the links: The ones about music lead to YouTube vids for fun. Rest are GIFs or links to whatever gift idea I have.

The Party and the Aftermath.

~B~

Saturday, July 1st, 2017

Beca looked around and grinned.

Their backyards were full of people.

Music makers mixed with science nerds mixed with lawyers mixed with dance teachers.

The party had started at noon and showed no sign of stopping. There was so much laughter and yelling over the music that she was surprised her head wasn’t pounding as it usually did in crowds.  But the day was so far – and she knocked on the wood of the bench she was sitting on – nothing but net. She frowned, not sure where she’d heard that phrase or why her brain dredged it up now. She was sure it had to do with sports. One of them. Whatever, she was having fun in a crowd for once.

A flash of red caught her eye when Chloe turned around and looked at her as the music changed.

Ok, so maybe Beca was having a lot of fun. In fact, this may have been the third time in the past five hours that “It Was Always You” by Maroon 5 had come up in her playlist. The first time, none of the key people had thought anything of it. The second time, Chloe had given her a ‘look.’ Similar to the one she was giving right now. But now… Now Chloe’s eyes twinkled at her, somehow full of something knowing. Beca could see that she’d figured out it was intentional and what it might possibly mean.  Beca winked and could hear Chloe’s laugh over the music.

Today was a great day.

~

The next time it played, which if Beca was still able to count after everything she’d been drinking, made the fourth time it had come up.

“You must like this song.”

Beca turned around slowly, having learned if she did it quickly, her head felt like it flew fifty feet to the side before settling back on her neck. “What?”

Aubrey shrugged, almost spilling her drink. “I know you have enough music that I could listen to it twenty-four-hours-a-day, for thiiiiiiirty years and not hear a repeat. But I’ve heard this one already today.”

Beca just blinked at her, hoping she looked innocent. “Oh? I hadn’t noticed.”

“I swear, this is like the third time I’ve heard it.” Aubrey closed one eye, peering at her. “Are you drunk?”

“No, you’re just blurry.” Beca cracked up but with her balance gone, she fell to the ground. That was literally the best joke that Jesse had ever said and she loved when she got the chance to use it.

Aubrey closed the other eye and opened it again. “Were you always on the ground?”

“Nope. Help me up.” Beca shot her hand up and wiggled her fingers. Aubrey carefully took it and tugged but Beca overestimated her own force as she pulled herself up and they collided. “Oops.”

“Hey, no mashing of my wife without me.” Stacie frowned playfully as she came over. “Rude.”

“Beca fell over. I helped her up.” Aubrey added helpfully.

“Ah. Water for both of you then.” Stacie stepped over to one of the many coolers sweating around the lawn. She pulled out four bottles and handed them each one. “I’m gonna go find Chlo. She’s usually more sensible… but sometimes not.”

“She’s so smart.” Aubrey sighed as she watched Stacie walk away. “And pretty. Don’t you think she’s pretty, Becs?.”

“Oh yeah. I mean – All of that. And handy to have around.” Beca opened the bottle and downed half of it in one go. She wasn’t sure water had ever tasted so good. “I’m gonna go find out if Jeff’s finished making the burgers. I need to eat.”

“Oooh.” Aubrey’s eyes lit up.

“C’mon, Blurry.” Beca took her hand and they headed for the giant BBQ – once again Beca’s insistence that size matters - that normally no one but Stacie ever used throughout the year.

~

By the time their guests started yelling for them to bust out the Karaoke machine, Beca – and the rest of her girls, she assumed – had sobered up considerably. She was still drunk, but she wasn’t falling down anymore. Her lips twitched in a lopsided smile as she thought that she’d have to thank Stacie for that one day.

She stepped back once the machine was set up and turned to the group. “First up, my beautiful wife.”

Chloe stepped forward, “Why thank you.” She pushed Beca toward a chair. “I got it. Go sit.”

Beca went willingly to where she’d set her beer while she arranged the machine and settled into one of the lawn chairs littering the area.

Chloe tapped on the microphone to test it then smiled widely. “First I would like to say thank you for everyone who braved the heat to be with us today.” The audience cheered at her. “You guys have all made the 2nd annual Posen-Conrad/Beale-Mitchell – boy that’s a mouthful – 4th of July bash even better than the first.” She leaned over and pushed the button to start the music she’d selected and Beca had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing.

She’d already been snickering at ‘mouthful’ because she was mentally 16 and lived in the gutter when she was drunk. But at the first few notes, she’d started chanting to herself. ‘Don’t look at Aubrey, don’t look at Aubrey.’ She knew she would lose it if she did. She rolled her lips together, trying to hold it together.

Because of course, the first song Chloe decided to sing was ‘It Was Always You.’

  Woke up sweating from a dream With a different kind of feeling, oh All day long my heart was beating Searching for the meaning, oh

  Then, to Beca’s amusement, delight and, she could finally admit to herself, a thrill of something close to desire, Stacie jumped up next to Chloe for the chorus.

  Hazel eyes, I was so color blind We were just wasting time, uh uh babe For my whole life, we never crossed the line Only friends in my mind, but now I realize

It was always you Can't believe I could not see it all this time All this time It was always you

Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied Satisfied It was always you, you

No more guessing who Looking back now I know it was always you Always you

  Beca was looking around to see who else might be paying attention to any special meaning in the lyrics when she caught sight of Aubrey. She had her ‘considering face’ on as Beca’s eyes skated over her, and it caused another bubble of laughter to rise up so she moved on quickly. Which meant she missed it when Aubrey joined the other girls until her voice came through the speakers.

All my hidden desires finally came alive No, I never told lies to you so why would I start tonight

  Beca’s eyes jerked back to their impromptu stage, her pulse beginning to race. Chloe stood in the middle, Aubrey and Stacie flanking with an arm around her, using the one microphone. Beca swallowed thickly and fell back on a hopefully less ‘bitch’ variation of her Resting Bitch Face to try and remain calm and cool on the surface.

But underneath… It felt like lightning was flashing up and down her body and she was afraid if she moved, she’d break the spell. Or leap into the middle of them and kiss… someone. Or all of them.

The thought slid slowly through her mind, almost as if her own brain didn’t want to startle her. ‘This may… be too on the nose for such a public space.’

Then she noticed that while Chloe sang directly to her, which was normal as her wife, Stacie and Aubrey appeared to be singing directly to each other. Beca didn’t think the rest of the cheering, and completely trashed, crowd noticed how often the two of them split their attention between her and Chloe as well as each other. Or what their eyes seemed to be promising her when she met them.

But Beca did.

And the way they all looked at her during the last chorus made her feel like she was getting the most public, secret, no-touching lap dance in the world. Her thighs clenched involuntarily and she rubbed her suddenly sweating palms on them. Arousal swept through her, making her breath catch and quicken.

As the song came to an end, she snapped out of her daze and whistled her appreciation while the crowd around them clapped and stopped their feet.

Maybe she should drink a little more after all. 

The three of them took their bows and stepped toward her wearing matching mischievous smiles.

Yeah. Yeah, she should definitely drink more. 

~B~

Sunday, July 2nd, 2017

Beca groaned and tried to close her mouth; everything hurt, even her jaw and especially her head. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was as dry as her father’s humor. Her body felt like it was under a heavy weight and her limbs didn’t want to move when she tried stretching. She realized why her mouth was parched when her cheek hit the giant drool spot on her pillow.

“Here.” A soft voice said from above her.

Beca felt her hand taken and pills were placed in it. Her fingers curled around them. She’d be grateful if she had any energy.

“Down the hatch. I’ve got water.”

Beca whimpered her thanks and slowly moved her hand and head toward each other until she could scoop the pills in her mouth.

“This is going to be trickier unless you want me to just pour it on your face and hope you get some in your mouth.” The voice sounded amused.

Beca nodded, but she held her hand out and felt a cool plastic bottle settle against her palm. She lifted her head off the pillow and pushed up enough to swallow some blissfully cool water while someone gently helped steady her.  She’d been wrong yesterday; this was the best tasting water she’d ever had.

She drained the water and let her head fall back to the bed as the guiding hand took the bottle back. She tried to speak but all that came out was a croak.

“If that was thank you, you’re welcome.” A hand ran lightly over her hair, soothing, as lips pressed to her temple.

Beca nodded and fell back into sleep. She hoped she’d feel better when she woke up again. She’d figure out who the voice belonged to then. They were kind of awesome.

~

When Beca woke the second time, she felt much better, not hurting as much as before. She experimentally tried to stretch but her body still felt weighted down. She put a bit more force into it and that’s when she realized she was naked and not alone.

‘Ok, that’s not unusual.’

She flexed her legs from her hips to her toes to wake them up, then her arms from shoulder to fingers.

That’s about the time she realized Chloe was lying naked across her back. That also wasn’t unusual. She smiled sleepily as one hand twitched back to awkwardly caress a bare hip.

“Morning sleepyhead.”

Beca frowned, her eyes still closed. That was Chloe’s voice alright. But it didn’t come from above her.

She forced her eyes open and met the twinkling blue ones she loved more than music. Chloe was on the other side of the bed, lying on her side, one hand propping up her head. Fully dressed.

Except that shouldn’t be possible, because someone was definitely draped across her back. Naked. She could feel them breathing. She knew were naked, because she could feel two -

She managed to croak out a quiet “Oh god.” Chloe winked at her.

Then, to make matters truly worse, she heard Aubrey’s dry tone from behind her by the door. “Dirty bird.”

There was a voice in her ear. “Shhh.” A long arm stretched down and pushed its way between Beca and the mattress. “Sleep time, Bree.” Stacie wiggled around until she was on her side and used both her arms to scoop Beca into her chest to spoon her tightly under the sheet.

Beca’s eyes were wide open now, locked on her wife’s, who just smiled wider.

‘We’re both fucking naked. In The Expanse.’ Beca felt her word tip sideways and all she could do was stare at Chloe as she slipped into full panic. ‘Chloe is dressed. Bree is also probably dressed. Oh god. What did we do?’

“If you and my wife feel like it, I’ve got food over at our place.” Despite the pain in her head, Beca craned her neck around to try and look at Aubrey, but the angle was wrong. “That is, if you guys don’t want to have round two this morning.”

Beca’s mouth dropped and stayed there until she felt Chloe slide off the bed. “I got out clothes for you guys, they’re sitting on the dresser. There’s more water on your table.”  She headed out the door with Aubrey.

Stacie’s arm tightened. “So much noise. Why so much talking.” She buried her face in Beca’s hair as she shifted her hips closer and tighter into Beca’s ass. “Wha… wait.” Beca felt Stacie lift her head and could only assume she was looking around. “Bree?”

Beca let her head fall back to her pillow and met Stacie’s still dazed and confused eyes. “Surprise?”

Moving slowly, Stacie unwound her arm from around Beca’s waist and pushed the sheets up enough to look down at their bodies. “Beca?”

“Yup. Heh.” Beca used the moment to slide to the edge of the bed.

“Why are we naked.”  Stacie spoke slowly.

“Wish I knew.” Beca groaned as she sat up and pushed over to swing her legs over the side. “Almost as much as I wish I knew why my head hurts so much.” She slipped down to the floor and gingerly made her way to the dresser. She pulled on her underwear and shorts first before wrestling herself into the sports bra Chloe had set out. She turned with her tank in her hands.

Stacie was sitting up in bed, the sheets pooled around her waist, obviously not worried about her current state of undress beyond ‘how had this happened.’ “Becs. What… why are we- Where are…?”

That, at least, Beca could answer. She decided to leave out the color commentary though. “They’re over at your place. Aubrey made us breakfast.” A quick glance at the clock showed her it was almost noon. “Or, brunch, I guess. She didn’t really say more than ‘food’ before she and Chloe left.”

“They were here? While we were like that?” Stacie pushed herself to the edge of the bed. “Holy fuck, The Expanse is even bigger from the fucking middle.”

Beca froze with her shirt halfway over her head before pulling it down.

Stacie actually looked abashed. “That may have been a poor choice of words, considering the situation.”

“Uh.” Beca didn’t want to admit to it, but it was driving her nuts. “Stacie. What happened?”

Stacie groaned as she pulled herself to her feet. “I don’t remember. I take it you don’t either?”

Beca shook her head and immediately regretted it. She picked up the other stack of clothes and brought them over to the bed. “Nope. Not a second. Last thing I remember was Bruce singing a bad rendition of ‘I Will Always Love You.’”

Stacie made a face. “Oh. I wish I didn’t remember that instead.” She stood and pulled on the clothes. “Why do these fit me?”

“Because we had a clothing exchange the last time I pushed you in the pool when you slept over. ‘Packing a bag’ seemed stupid when we’ve got a million drawers.” They each had their own drawer and a few hangers in the other house, as well as their own toothbrush. It was just so much easier that way.

“Oh. Right.” Stacie picked up the bottle on her side of the table. “Did you give me ibuprofen?”

“No, it was one of them. I don’t know which, but they gave me some too. It helped, a bit.” Beca walked back over and grabbed the bottle left for her. “They are never going to let us live this down,” she said idly.

“Live what down? If I’m going to get dragged for something then I’d like to remember. Especially if it involves waking up naked in bed with someone other than my wife.” Stacie drained the last of her bottle, thankfully ignoring the scarlet color Beca was sure she just turned. “Let’s go eat and get it over with.”

They took turns using the bathroom before they stood side by side at the sink to clean up. Beca frowned. Her hair was a rat nest and took far longer than it should have to comb out. It didn’t help that each tug felt like it was pulling her brain out through her scalp. That’s when she noticed the large goose egg just beyond her hairline. “What. The. Fuck. Happened.”

Stacie peered at it. “Holy crap, B. I,” she frowned. “I hope I didn’t cause that.”

Beca gingerly felt the bump. “I’ll feel better once we know what the hell happened last night. I hope.”

They felt marginally better with freshly washed faces, combed hair and brushed teeth. They also liberally used Beca’s mouthwash to try and remove the dead animal taste before they tried to eat.

Foregoing shoes, they carefully made their way down the stairs and through the house to the back yard. Beca groaned. “Oh god, they’ve already cleaned up.”

Stacie started to shake her head and stopped, one hand on her forehead. “No, we tried to stay on top of it throughout the day. I do remember that.”

“Oh, right! Thank god. This would be much worse if they’d had to clean up both yards while we were passed out together.” Beca’s teeth clicked together as she tried to bite back the last bit before it slipped out. “Uh.”

“Yeah.” Stacie frowned. “Maybe.”

They both made their way into the kitchen and stopped just past the door.

“That took less time than I anticipated, honestly.” Chloe was just setting plates down for her and Aubrey and waved at the table. “Sit, I’ll get yours.”

“Yeah, you guys look like you’re going to fall over.” Aubrey looked them over. “But still, you look better than you did before I gave you the Advil.”

“That was you?” Beca slid into the chair across from Aubrey as she nodded. “Thank you, “ she breathed out, as heartfelt as anything she’d ever said.

Stacie leaned down, somewhat hesitantly, and went to kiss Aubrey’s cheek.

“What, my lips aren’t good enough for you anymore?” Aubrey’s voice was teasing and Beca felt herself relaxing.

“I… That’s not even funny, Bree.” Stacie scrunched up her nose and kissed her properly. “Not funny at all.”

Chloe set down a plate in front of Stacie then Beca who was relieved to see it was nothing heavier than a turkey sandwich and a salad. “I don’t know. I thought it was funny.” She put her hand on Beca’s shoulder. “This one didn’t even try to kiss me at all.”

Beca’s eyes went wide but before she could leap from her chair, Chloe had leaned down in front of her and captured her lips. Beca let herself sink back again once Chloe let her go. “Oops. Sorry, Chlo.”

“I imagine you’re both still a little…” Aubrey tilted her head from side to side, searching for the right word as she ate a forkful of salad. “Muddled.”

“That’s one way to put it.” Stacie took a bite of her sandwich and groaned softly. “Just the right amount of mayo.”

Chloe smiled from where she was ladling what smelled like chicken noodle soup into bowls. “You’re welcome.”

Beca took a bite from her sandwich finding it both exactly what she needed yet hard to swallow. She kept wondering three things: what had happened, was she about to get yelled at and, overall, how she really felt if what she thought happened had happened. Ultimately, she felt a bit like a dog creeping around with her tail between her legs, waiting to get swatted despite how… unconcerned they both seemed.

Chloe brought over the soup and finally sat down on Beca’s right, her left hand automatically going to rest on Beca’s thigh, like this was any normal lunch. So Beca tried to follow their lead and focused on filling her belly and hopefully soaking up any residual alcohol. Though she didn’t think that’s all that was twisting her stomach.

Stacie finally looked up after they’d mostly finished the meal. “Ok. What happened.” All three of them looked at her. “We - I can’t remember. I’ve tried. How the hell did I end up naked and spooning Beca.”

Beca felt her head sinking into her shoulders, waiting for the yelling. But then the opposite and absolutely last thing she would have expected happened.

Chloe and Aubrey started laughing. Hard enough that tears immediately started rolling down their cheeks and they had to hold onto the table to stay upright.

Beca and Stacie looked from each other to their wives and back, identical looks of bewilderment on their faces, which caused Chloe and Aubrey to laugh harder.

“Did…” Beca cleared her throat. “Did we break them?”

Stacie’s eyes were narrowed. “I’m not sure if I’m feeling better or worse here.”

Beca ignored the laughter beside her. “What do you mean?”

“Obviously we did something that they’re not mad about. Which means…” Stacie actually growled. “That we did something that I can’t remember. We can’t have done nothing, we were naked. And that pisses me off. Not only have I been thinking about what that might be like for years, I have never gotten so drunk that I don’t remember sex.” She sounded so offended and pissed off that Beca felt her lips twitch. Plus, she was a bit flattered that Stacie was that mad that she didn’t remember sex with Beca. And that she’d been thinking about it for years.

There was a loud clatter as Aubrey fell off her chair and rolled onto her side, laughing so hard she’d gone silent.

Beca whispered. “Holy fuck. We did break Bree.”

That’s when Chloe fell out of her chair.

~

It took a good five minutes for both women to calm down enough to be able to talk. Beca and Stacie had managed to get them up, still giggling, and into the living room. Now they sat, wedged between their wives, waiting them out.

Beca was starting to feel like Stacie, so torn between the infectious giggles they were feeding each other, and being annoyed that something had happened – something she’d maybe sort of finally been thinking about herself – between them and she couldn’t. Fucking. Remember.

Finally Aubrey let out a huge gasp and relaxed against the back of the couch. “Oh my god. That was fucking amazing.”

Beca blinked. Aubrey rarely swore. Her emotions swung back to nervous.

Chloe pulled Beca over and cuddled into her. “Totes.”

Stacie interrupted. “That’s great and all, but… ” She pointed between herself and Beca, “Still in the fucking dark here.”

Aubrey patted her arm and pulled her phone out of her pocket, causing Chloe to let out a couple hysterical giggles. “Beca, can you hook this up to the AppleTV?”

“Uh. Sure.” She gingerly stood and took the phone. She could barely do this without a hangover, even though it was like, only four button pushes, but she muddled her way through and handed the phone back to Aubrey. “You just have to hit play on whatever video you’re about to torture us with.”

“Oh. My. God.” Stacie breathed out, torn between admiration and shock. “You filmed it? Us? It?”

Beca had been in the act of sitting and felt her legs give out. “Holy fuck.” She immediately regretted her choice of words.

Aubrey only nodded. “Indeed.”

Chloe cleared her throat. “So. Uh.” Her voice quavered, “Saddle up.” She was shaking as she tried not to laugh. Aubrey did it for her, high and piercing before she clamped down on it and shook her head as she mouthed ‘Sorry’. “It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Chloe slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the giggles she couldn’t hold back.

Stacie threw her arm around Aubrey and started laughing. “Oh my god. What the fu… Jesus. Ok. I’m good. Lessgo.”

Beca swallowed for what felt like the twentieth time since she woke up. “Uh. What she said.” She was relaxing though. Obviously whatever it was wasn’t bad if the two of them couldn’t stop laughing. In fact, Bree had tears running down her cheeks again as she found what she wanted and hit play with another burst of hysteria.

~

The video opened to a wavering shot that Beca eventually recognized as her own living room.

Chloe’s voice came from off camera. “Hurry, you’ll miss them!”

“You can’t rush art, Chlo!” Aubrey was obviously the one filming.

“You can if you’re missing the beginning!” Chloe came into view at the entry to the hall.

The camera wavered, and Beca felt a little ill at the motion, but she found herself forgetting that as voices came from ahead. Aubrey moved into the foyer and panned up to show Beca a few steps up and Stacie standing at the foot, allowing them to be more or less level with each other.

“I… Stace. Stacie. Stace. Staaaaaaaaaaacie.” Beca watched her drunk self pat her friend on the face. “I wanna know what it’s like to be you.”

Stacie snorted. “You are so drunk.”

DrunkStacie took hold of DrunkBeca’s arms. “But.. Becs.” She shook DrunkBeca lightly.

“Ooh, no. No shaking.” DrunkBeca’s cheeks ballooned out a little. “Bad things.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.” DrunkStacie nodded until she remembered her earlier thought. It lasted a good thirty seconds. “But. Becs.” She leaned forward confidentially. “You’re already hot.”

Beca laughed. “HA! I’m not the only one trashed as fuck!”

Chloe shushed her. “You guys wanted to know, you have to watch.”  Aubrey nodded. They both practically vibrated with their failed attempts to stop laughing.

Stacie and Beca looked at each other and said “Yes, dears.”

DrunkBeca shook her head then winced. “Oooh. Bad move. No no, that’s not.” She grabbed DrunkStacie’s face and pulled her close. “I wanna know what it’s like to be talllllllll.”

DrunkAubrey panned over to DrunkChloe, who was using the wall to hold herself up as she laughed. “Shhh. They might stop.”

DrunkChloe shook her head. “Oh no, when Beca’s this far gone, not much will deter her from whatever goal she has in mind.” DrunkChloe leered. “That’s usually trying to find the fastest way into my pants. I kinda like that about her.” Then she winked. “Gets my motor going. And I think you all know what I mean.” She clicked her tongue.

DrunkAubrey laughed. “That’s my line.”

DrunkChloe waved dismissively. “Yeah but you use it after you quote your dad and no one ever understands what your dad means. I just make sex jokes when I say it, so everyone does know what Iiiiiii mean.”

Stacie laughed. “She’s got you there, Babe.” Her attention jerked back to the screen when she heard her voice get louder.

“Beca, that’s… That’s so cuuuuuuuute.” The camera wavered back to the two of them. “Of course I’ll help you be tall!” DrunkStacie turned her back to DrunkBeca. “Hop on!”

Beca found she was holding her breath as she watched her drunk ass try to climb onto Stacie’s back. “There’s way too much air gap between you two, idiot.”

Chloe, who had covered her mouth again, pulled her hand away long enough to say, “Did you just call yourself an idiot?” She put her hand back, eyes wide.

Beca frowned. “What? No, I called…” She pointed at the screen. “Oh.”

She watched as DrunkStacie finally figured out that was never going to work and leaned back to make it a bit easier. DrunkChloe stepped forward, hands out and ready to catch or balance anyone if they started to totter.

Beca watched, fascinated despite the slight embarrassment she was feeling, as she basically jumped onto Stacie’s back so their heads were almost even – with this positioning, DrunkBeca was actually a bit taller. Her arms went around DrunkStacie’s shoulders while her legs went around her waist. Beca was relieved to see DrunkStacie grab underneath her knees to keep her from slipping.

DrunkBeca looked around. “Duuuuuude. Everything is so tiny from up here! How do you avoid stepping on anyone!?”

DrunkStacie took a step forward. “Like this.”

“Woah! Fuck! Slow the fuck down, Gigantor.” DrunkBeca pulled on her shoulders. “Dude. I’m not used to this. Go slow with me, fuck.”

Giggles from both DrunkAubrey and DrunkChloe echoed from off camera before DrunkAubrey’s voice very clearly said “That’s what I said the first time too.” More giggling. “Except I used ‘fuck’ more. Then I asked her to go faster. Much faster. And I’m sure you know what I mean this time.”

Beca looked at Aubrey, mouthing ‘Oh my god’ before looking back at the TV. Aubrey’s face, and Chloe’s for that matter, was contorted and red as they tried desperately to muffle their giggles.

DrunkChloe’s impressed voice layered over DrunkStacie carefully taking another step forward. “Oooh. Stacie is really rubbing off on you, Bree.”

DrunkStacie spun toward them - causing DrunkBeca to let out a screech of terror as she leaned backward with the movement like spinning the Tea Cups at Disneyland - and winked. “Every chance I get.”

DrunkBeca wrapped her arms around DrunkStacie’s head, “DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!?” She gulped for breath. “I’m dying! Help, I think I’m dying! I see spots again, oh god is it because we’re so high and there’s not enough oxygen?!”

Beca buried her face in her hands. “Oh my god. Please kill me now.”

Chloe and Aubrey gave up and covered their mouths with pillows as they continued to laugh, completely unable to stop.

Stacie shook her head. “No way. If I gotta live through this, so do you.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not watching yourself relive a bear trap.” Beca ignored the literal scream of laughter that Aubrey let out on the other side of the couch.

DrunkStacie let out a yelp, “I’m blind!” Her hands shot out like she was going to run into something while standing still.

“Oh no! What happened?!” DrunkBeca leaned forward, slipping her arms down around DrunkStacie’s neck.

“Oh. No. Must’ve just blacked out for a sec.” DrunkStacie nodded. “I’m good. You good?”

“Dude. Let’s get the show on the road!” DrunkBeca kicked her legs a bit.

“I’m not a horse, Beca.” DrunkStacie sounded insulted.

“But…” DrunkBeca waved a hand at the floor. “Legs!”

DrunkAubrey moved backward as DrunkStacie stepped forward, catching the edges of DrunkChloe standing up and following behind.

“Is it everything you imagined?” DrunkStacie turned to look over her shoulder.

DrunkBeca shrugged. “Eh. I thought you��d be taller.”

Beca let out a bark of laughter. “And Jesse said that line was never used in real life!”

Chloe fell over on her side, clutching her stomach with one hand. “Oh, I can’t. It hurts. Oh my god.”

Aubrey looked over. “And there’s so much more to go.” Her voice sounded like she was holding her breath just to get the words out.

Beca and Stacie exchanged a look before looking back to the TV in time to watch DrunkStacie bounce off the door jamb out of the living room.

DrunkBeca flipped it off. “Dude. That thing just jumped out and tried to trip you.”

DrunkStacie glared at it. “What a dick.”

“Where do you think we’re going?” Beca asked idly.

Stacie shrugged. “Hell, probably.”

DrunkAubrey followed them, and, Beca was pleased to point out, bounced off the same frame they had. DrunkChloe laughed until there was a small thud and an unbelievably adorable ‘Damnit, it got us all!’ from off camera.

Then DrunkBeca’s head bounced off the light hanging in the kitchen.

Beca winced. “Well. That explains the goose egg.”

Stacie whistled. “Shit, it was my fault. I’m sorry, B.”

Beca shrugged and pointed at the screen. “Well, drunk me obviously didn’t see it. She just apologized for running into it.”

Chloe sat up, calming slightly in her worry. “Oh, babe. I didn’t even check.”

“I can tell, drunk you just fell over laughing. You probably got bruises from all that, yourself.”

“A few.” Chloe smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.” She kissed Beca on the cheek.

“Forgiven.” Beca reached over and squeeze Chloe’s hand.

“Hey.” Beca looked up at her drunken slurring voice. “Hey! I got an idea.”

DrunkStacie came to a stop by the dining room table. “Wha’sat?”

DrunkBeca leaned down and whispered loud enough for the neighbors to hear. “I bet you can't buck me off your back like a bronco."

DrunkChloe immediately started singing "Pony" by Ginuwine and grinding her hips as she danced into the frame.

Beca sat up. This sounded… Bad. Well, not Chloe; she looked and sounded hot, as always. And while she made a mental note to have Chloe sing it for her at a future date, Beca couldn't really spare the time to think about that right now.

Stacie muttered a quiet “Oh shit.”

DrunkStacie thought about it for a whole two seconds. “Deal.”

DrunkBeca cheered. “C’mon Bucky, let’s see what you can do.”

Beca frowned. “Bucky?”

DrunkChloe broke off singing and echoed her question. “Why Bucky?” DrunkAubrey immediately picked up singing where Chloe had left off.

The way DrunkAubrey was singing was highly suggestive and made Beca shift subtly on the couch. She looked away from the screen for a second and saw that Stacie had goosebumps. Beca couldn’t stop herself from leaning a little closer to her and whispering "Is that how she sounds around you when you guys are... um... alone?"

But her voice wasn't quiet enough with the sharp ears around her and it was Aubrey who answered. "Wouldn't you like to know. Wait – hold that thought for just a second." Chloe let out another soft burst of giggles.

Stacie only winked at her as Beca frowned and looked back at the TV.

DrunkBeca shrugged. “Seems like a good horse name.”

“Oh.” DrunkStacie looked like she was ready to burst into action when DrunkAubrey’s voice froze everyone as her singing abruptly ended. Which Beca was really kind of happy about, because Stacie actually was Aubrey’s ‘pony’ which made it all the more evocative and distracting.

“WAIT!” It was a voice that had stopped many a Bella in their tracks and Beca snapped her attention back to the TV by pure reflex. “Take this outside into the grass.”

DrunkBeca swayed and pushed until DrunkStacie got the idea and turned to face the camera. “Bree.” DrunkBeca’s tone was the overly patient ‘explaining to an idiot’ that only the truly intoxicated could get. “Stacie’s not a real horse. She doesn’t eat graassss.” She paused and an extremely dirty leer passed over her face.

Beca felt herself flush. She knew that look and it meant she was thinking something truly filthy. She had half a second where she hoped she wouldn’t say it, though she knew it was futile. DrunkBeca totally had a word vomit problem and Beca hated it.

But to her surprise, DrunkAubrey was the one who finished what Beca was likely thinking. “I know that, Beca.” It was the same syrup sweet voice she’d used at the retreat. “She eats me.” The satisfaction in her tone practically dripped through the TV.

Beca fell back against the couch and laughed. “Ok, that was almost worth the price of admission.”

“Bree!” Stacie’s voice was full of laughter. “I’m so mad at myself that I don’t remember this! But I love you two so much for your drunken evil genius in filming it.”

Aubrey held up a finger. “Just wait.”

DrunkBeca’s face was still leering. “I’d like to see that.”

Beca felt all the color drain out of her face. “I… oh.”

Stacie nodded, grinning. “Oh.”

Chloe spoke up. “Wait.”

DrunkAubrey replied, “Maybe if you play your cards right.”

DrunkBeca yelled, “Hot damn!”

Beca flushed. “Oh my god.”

“Are we praying now?” Stacie’s voice was light. “Because this is like my prayers are answered.” She looked around as they all stared at her. “What?”

DrunkStacie crouched down to go through the back door that DrunkChloe had opened. But she didn’t crouch enough and DrunkBeca had gone higher instead of lower and her forehead skimmed off the edge of the frame.

“Fuck. Again?” Beca’s fingers gingerly traced the knot on her head.

“Sorry.” Stacie patted her knee.

“Me too.” Chloe kissed her cheek again.

Once everyone was in the backyard they’d decreed DrunkChloe to be the official time keeper and moved into the grass by the pool. Suddenly the camera lowered, like DrunkAubrey had fallen, and the angle was crooked.

DrunkChloe dropped her arms and looked over. “Bree. What are you doing?”

DrunkAubrey answered like the reason should be obvious. “Artistic framing, Chloe. Duh.”

Beca swallowed her giggle. “I didn’t know you had filmmaker aspirations, Bree.”

Aubrey shrugged. “Stacie keeps telling me I need a hobby.”

“Oh.” DrunkChloe turned back to the drunken rodeo. “You guys ready?”

DrunkStacie nodded, “Yup. Hold on tight, 8 Seconds!”

DrunkBeca threw both her hands in the air. “Wait!” When she started to fall backward DrunkStacie leaned forward to counter balance her. “I said WAIT, Bucky! Shit!”

DrunkChloe began to tap her foot. “Well?”

DrunkBeca started to wrestle with her shirt. “This needs to come off.”

DrunkAubrey moved to a different angle, but still low and ‘artistic’. “Why?”

“Skin to skin contact, duh.” DrunkBeca finally got her shirt off and waved it over her head. “Makes it better.” She seemed oblivious to the fact that Stacie’s shirt was still on.

DrunkChloe sounded confused. “A rodeo?”

“Everything.” DrunkBeca’s voice was dead serious as she nodded.

Beca rolled her eyes. “Oh my god.” She needed to come up with something else to say, but her brain was skipping the tracks. This was just… embarrassing. But Jesus fuck was it hysterical.

“Ok. Whatever.” DrunkChloe’s arms came up. “Ok. You ready?”

DrunkBeca waved her shirt over her head. “Ready!”

DrunkStacie braced herself. “Ok, hold on, 8 Seconds –“

DrunkBeca leaned down and whispered in her ear. “You already said that, Bucky.”

“Shut up.” DrunkStacie cleared her throat. “I’m going to give you the ride of your life that doesn’t involve… uh…”

DrunkAubrey supplied, “A bed?”

DrunkStacie nodded, “Sure, that too.”

DrunkChloe shouted “GO!”

DrunkAubrey tsked. “Not even a countdown, Chlo? It’s like you’ve forgotten everything.”

Beca watched, fascinated, as DrunkStacie took off around the yard, her arms still wrapped around DrunkBeca’s legs so there was no chance she was going to fall off anyway. As DrunkBeca continued to wave her shirt over her head, whooping and hollering, Beca knew she was going to have to apologize to the neighbors at the next meeting.

DrunkAubrey had moved to the side, continuing to find the best ‘artistic angle’ as DrunkChloe shouted encouragement to DrunkBeca. “That’s my girl, ride ‘em cowboy!”

Then the angle changed and the pool came into view.

Beca tensed, though she knew, obviously, that she hadn’t cracked her head open on the concrete.

DrunkStacie tried to cut the corner but DrunkBeca’s weight threw her normally perfect balance off.

Beca’s head tilted in sync with DrunkStacie’s entire body on the screen.

DrunkAubrey scrambled to her feet, causing the worst shaky cam in cinematic history, just as there were twin screams and a giant splash.

DrunkChloe’s voice filtered in from offscreen with a quiet, “Ah shit.”

The video went black.

Beca and Stacie sat in silence, staring at the screen. Chloe and Bree had exhausted themselves and were sprawled on the couch on either side of them like limp ragdolls.

“We didn’t have sex.” Stacie didn’t pose it as a question.

Aubrey bit her lip. “Nope.”

“Then how did we end up naked in bed together?” Beca was still running her fingers over the lump on her head.

Chloe cleared her throat and nodded at Bree. “There’s one more… tiny…”

Aubrey scrolled over and hit play.

Beca sighed. Eventually this had to end, right?

The camera started out focused on the dresser in Beca’s room. “Bree, I don’t know if I’m doing this right.” DrunkChloe was apparently filming this time.

“Kinda got my hands full here, Chlo.” DrunkAubrey’s voice sounded strained. And annoyed. “Why. Are. You. So. Squirmy!” There were some rustling sounds that Beca couldn’t quite place. “Stacie was easier to deal with and she’s all limbs!”

DrunkBeca’s voice crooned out of the speakers as the camera slowly panned over to the bed. “Bree. Aubs. Aubreeeeeeey. Breeeeeeeeeeee.” There was a drunken giggle. “You have the warmest, softest heart. I love you so much. You and Stace. Staubreeeeeeey.” She added, almost as an afterthought, “After my girl, of course.” She sighed gustily. “She’s the best.”

There was a pause before DrunkAubrey answered. “You’re sweet, Becs. But, those aren’t my heart.”

DrunkChloe stifled her giggles as the camera shook, pausing on a section of floor that looked like it had Stacie’s wet clothes and part of Beca’s on it.

DrunkStacie let out a peal of giggles. “Boooooooooooooobs. Bree has the bestest boooooobs.”

The camera finally focused on the bed where DrunkBeca’s shirt was off and DrunkAubrey looked like she was trying to wrestle off her wet skinny jeans. Beca was mortified to see she had her hands on DrunkAubrey’s chest and was smiling blissfully at her. DrunkStacie was lying in her wet underwear on the bed beside her.

DrunkBeca sighed wistfully. “Boobs. I’m a boob man.” She jiggled DrunkAubrey’s chest, paused, and then cracked up as she did it again.

DrunkStacie rolled her head to the side and reached out one hand and poked DrunkBeca in the boobs. “Booooooobs.” She poked again. “You’ve got great boobs too, B.” She turned her head the other way and looked at the camera. Or, more accurately, below. “And Chlo. You’ve got great boobs too.” She sighed lustfully. “I’m surrounded by great boobs.” She looked down and groped herself. “Including mine.”

DrunkAubrey stared blandly at her. “I’m so glad you’re amused with yourselves.”

Beca’s mouth dropped open but nothing came out. She was officially beyond speech.

DrunkAubrey looked over. “Chlo. I think I’m going to need your help getting Beca’s pants off and both of them into dry clothes.”

DrunkChloe jerked and it shook the camera. “Oh. Right.”

Once again the screen faded to black.

Beca exhaled and decided to ignore the fact that she’d full on groped Aubrey. “Actually, that didn’t answer all of it.”

“Well,” Chloe cleared her throat. “I helped Bree get you out of the rest of your wet clothes, because I was not buying a new mattress for The Expanse because your swim ruined it.”

Aubrey took over. “And by the time we’d turned around with your pj’s, Beca was scrambling up the bed like a spider monkey and worming her way under the covers, complaining that she was ‘cold now.’” Aubrey paused. “At the top of her lungs.”

Stacie just raised her eyebrow.

“You, being the good friend you are, told her you’d keep her warm. With your boobs.” Aubrey turned and smiled at Beca serenely, which Beca in no way trusted. “And you - you said she was like a furnace with breasts just before you passed out.”

 “Aw. You love me.” Beca choked on a laugh as she shoulder bumped Stacie and let out a sigh of relief. “So… there was no… uh.”

Chloe looked at her. “You should definitely be able to say ‘sex’ by now, Beca.”

“Right, whatever.” She waved her hand in the air. “That.”

Aubrey shook her head. “Nope, no sex.”

“Thank god.” Stacie exhaled loudly. When Beca’s head jerked up she raised her hands. “You have no idea how mad I was that I didn’t remember if we’d had sex.” She looked past Beca and threw a pillow at Chloe. “Jerk, you let me think I banged your wife and couldn’t remember.”

Chloe looked offended. “Just my wife?”

“She was the only one with their bare ass in my junk when I woke up, so yeah.”

Beca spoke up. “Which leads us to: What about you two? Where’d you sleep?”

Chloe shook her head. “Oh, we totally just changed and crawled into bed after you. It was like 3am by the time we all crashed. I was exhausted.”

Stacie perked up. “Oh. We made an early night of it? I mean, compared to last year."

Aubrey nodded. “We’d been up maybe an hour before you, and I gave you the ibuprofen to try and stave off the worst of the headache.” She looked over at Beca apologetically. “You might be kinda doomed, though, with your head.”

Beca shrugged. “It’s actually kind of fading. Could just be I can’t feel it under the layer of embarrassment.”  

Chloe kissed her cheek. “I still love you.”

Stacie kissed the other. “Me too.” She did it again. “Bree too.”

“Alright, alright.” Beca slapped at Stacie. “You already had your feel.”

Stacie gasped, spinning to Aubrey. “Did she do the thing?”

Aubrey sighed and made a face. “I owe you twenty yellow.”

“Yes!” Chloe pumped her arm.

“Oh god, we’re still missing something?” Beca groaned. “I can’t take much more of these reveals.”

Chloe was smug. “I bet Aubrey that Stace would ask if you did your sleep groping.”

“Oh my...” Beca closed her eyes and prayed for the couch to swallow her.

Aubrey said, “She totally did.”

“Ha!” Stacie laughed. “And I was naked this time!”

Beca threw out, “Yeah, but you don’t remember it.”

Stacie frowned. “Oh. Shit.”

Beca looked over at Aubrey. “Hey, Aubs?” Maybe she could redeem herself here…

“Yes?”

“So, is it?”

Aubrey’s entire face seemed to frown in confusion. “Is… what… what?”

Beca’s voice was completely blank. “Was that your sex voice?” She truly hoped how much she wanted to know that answer didn’t show.  If it did, it could cause her attempt to pay Aubrey back for putting them through all that to backfire.

But to her immense relief Aubrey turned bright red and thumped Stacie’s leg when the brunette opened her mouth. “Don’t encourage her, Stace.”

Stacie pouted. “Aw, but it’s fun!”

Beca sat quietly for a bit, letting the others continue to joke around her. She took careful stock of her body and decided that she actually wasn’t that bad off, it must have been the uncertainty of what had happened the night before that had really been making her feel like crap. Now that she knew nothing actually had, she felt more like herself. Which meant she was rapidly descending into the gutter where she normally lived but didn’t normally indulge in.

‘Until lately, I suppose.’ Now it seemed to be her default setting and Naked Stacie and Sex Voice Aubrey certainly hadn’t helped things this morning.

Her mind unexpectedly returned to what she’d been feeling during karaoke the night before. She had been relatively sober then so every thought, every flicker of desire was there the moment she landed on the memory.

After a few minutes, Beca felt Chloe’s eyes on her and looked over. Beca knew she had defaulted to her less severe resting bitch face of neutrality, but Chloe always was able see through it. Beca flushed when Chloe gave her a knowing grin before turning back to her conversation with Aubrey.

Beca took a deep breath as an idea thread its way through her mind.

Tuning back into the room, she realized Aubrey and Chloe were discussing what they would do for dinner, and Stacie was opting for pizza because it was easy and there were no dishes to do afterward.

“Why don’t we go back home and all of us can freshen up. I, for one, still feel like I need a shower. And maybe a short nap.” Chloe ran a hand through her hair. “We can order pizza and you guys can come over. Say like, 2 hours? 3?”

Beca cleared her throat, wondering if she dared, but what came out of her mouth was “We can watch a movie or something.” They were never going to believe she meant that. Like, at all.

The room fell silent and she could feel them all staring at her.

“Like, on demand. I’m sure there’s something I’ll wanna watch.” She hoped they didn’t notice her breath hitch in her throat when she said it. She hadn’t meant it that way, but her mind had dropped into the gutter like Stacie into the pool.

“Sounds good, B.” Stacie slapped her on the leg. “We’ll make a movie fan out of you yet.”

“I’ve been trying for yeaaaaaars.” Chloe rose to her feet. “Good luck.”

“I think I can convert her.” Stacie sounded confident, and maybe not like she was talking about movies anymore.

“Stacie can wear anyone down, eventually.” Aubrey’s gaze slipped over Beca and she knew Bree wasn’t talking about movies.

“One can only hope.” And Beca, who knew every inflection of Chloe’s voice, had the last confirmation she needed.

Or Beca was under the influence of a concussion and they were just talking about hanging out. In all their clothing.

They said their goodbyes and walked across to their house, Chloe’s hand warm and secure in her own.

‘Now time to see if I can put my money where my mouth is. Oh Beca, don’t start thinking about putting your mouth places.’

Chloe squeezed her fingers and smiled.

‘Oh boy.’

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously. 

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love.  Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO 

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic. 

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

[ayahne]

i can’t write, i say as i write 8 pages on Word

I discussed this simple little idea i had with @adelmortescryche from 2AM to 5AM and now it’s not a little idea. A lot of ideas thrown mostly randomly together on the same fic idea i will never write cause i write baaaad.

I call it : EdRi!!! On Para-Ice

- When Yuuri arrives at Wayne State to major in buisness and become a pro skater, he meets the four people with who he's going to share lodging.

- Ling is his age, he's a Xingian diplomat son that want to keep it low-key, and he's majoring in political science. He's a funny, eccentric kind of guy, and he makes Lan Fan mad.

- Lan Fan is « totally not » his body guard, and she's majoring in chemistry. She's a strange blend of calm and hot-temper. He likes her.

- There's also Phichit, ; he's younger, but so nice and enthusiastic ; he wants to do photography. (he's Thai and doesn't speaks much english, but everyone helps him and stick colored notes cards to everything and he learns quickly).

- And there's Edward Curtis, who is half cyborg, hot tempered, foul mouthed and full of shit and loyalty. He's younger than him, but more advanced than him in his studies. (« He's a genius », explains Lan Fan.) They got on like a house on fire.

- Strangely, even if they're so different from each other, they share the apartment fine. Lan Fan and Ed go run in the mornings, Ling cooks, Yuuri and Phichit go to the ice ring... They fit.

- Ed is a bit hyperactive, and when Lan Fan is too occupied to spar with him, he gotta finds something to do. (« No Ed, you can't punch people in the face. ») He visits Yuuri and Phichit at the ice ring, and he tries a bit of skating ; it's challenging, he likes it.

- Yuuri starts to teach him simple figures : a single-toe-loop, a sit-spin... Ed spend his time falling on his face because the automails are destabilizing him, but he's tired and happy when he masters a new move. From there, you can't stop him. Skating becomes the escape to his problems, and the guilt he feels.

- He comes to every of Yuuri's event to cheer him on ; he manage the panic attacks like it's nobody's buisness, and Yuuri starts to feel more confident. It's great time, they have fun.

- But one day, there's an accident ; the huge score board fall on Yuuri that just finished his routine. They have to amputate his arm.

- Ed has lived this before, and acts quick. He's there through everything, the hospital ride, the hospital stay, the therapy. With the others, he persuades Yuuri to get an automail (« Hey, we match now. ») He never let him wallow in his depression, and he puts him back on his skates with his therapist acceptance.

- They fight, with all the others, through Yuuri's terror of the ice, and slowly, slowly, he finds back his love for the ice ; he starts to skate again, to being confident. Ed does it all with him, he's his crutch. (« I miss two limbs. If i can do it, you can do it better. » And Yuuri does.)

(beware of the cut)

- "dude you can fucking make a quint and fly on the ice " says Yuuri "dont care still jealous" answer Ed, and they laugh and Phichit posts it on instagram

- Yuuri's like, welp, if you can do it, I should at least try and everyone screams NO because he's older than Ed. Except Ed, who's rolling his eyes being like, he could totally do it, he's older than me and just as flexible.

- They're both ULTRA flexible

- Cue Ed teaching Yuuri how to make some of his fighting moves on ice

- Cue Yuuri teaching Ed more quads

- All those EdRi comments. The first few are just fujoshi slobbering over them and their bromance, then someone who actually knows something about skating figures out what they're seeing and they sCREAM.

- And the skating fandom has a meltdown.

- Phichit posting out of context photos, like warming up when they're in weird yoga poses, and it seems a bit more intimate than it is.

- With tags like '#MySmolSonsBeFlexi' '#MustNotLetEdSeeTagsHeWillSlayMe'

- Phichit and all the others being DEADLY TIRED than his frighteningly prodigious friends not getting recognition just because they've got automail.

- Doesn't people realise that automail makes it harder ?

- “It's easier with automail ?” * Ed proceeds to detach his own arm and dump it on the stupid fuck's lap who crumble under the weight. * “Try lifting something that weight more than yourself higher than your head, and even spin with something ressembling grace when you have a brick instead of an arm”.

- Pole dancing class as part of the automail recovery therapy. Yuuri smiles, and he's like, this was totally for medical reasons.

- The ports gets cold and hurt when they're too long in the ice ring, so for when they train Phichit knitted them horrible arm socks (and leg sock for Ed). Knitting is not Phichit forte, and the mitts are ridiculous at best.

- Yuuri's favorite is a kaki monstruosity with purple polka dots, orange stripes, and some brown squiggles that are supposed to be flowers.

- Ed's are one atomic pink with red hearts on it, and a blue one with barely recognisable hamsters.

- The photos of them with it become viral.

- He decides to go back to competing, and he slays the handisport section. He wins all of the gold medals in the juniors, and then in the seniors.

- He's got a new coach ; she's pretty, kind and maternal, attentive to his anxieties and the fact that Ed is basically is contra-phobic object ; she's perfect, and exactly what he needs. Her name is Gracia Hugues.

- For his galas, he always do something with Ed (and either they do funny shit things, either they some mind-numbing show of skills mixing Ed's talents in flying martial arts and Yuuri's adaptability- anyways they're breathtaking)

- There's a fanbase dedied to their bromance, and some people do RPF with them.

- Ed browsing deviantart and diying a little bit (but save the nice, bro, safe ones on his phone.)

- Yuuri reading fanfictions, selecting the crack fics and the AUs to laugh with Ed, Phichit and Lin. (and Lan Fan. She's there, silently laughing)

- They're so much more low key about the bromance than Phichit and Yuuri that people have a lot more opinions about their bromance. And are sure it's a romance.

- Yuuri obviously finds it hilarious.

- Ed and Yuuri doing shit like this on purpose.

- One day on tv, some jackass ask if he doesn't miss his limbs, and Ed answers "thats equivalent exchange" while looking at Yuuri. The shippers goes mad, Yuuri goes awww cause he knows Ed meant it very innocently

- They only pop up in Phichit, Ling, and Yuri social medias because they dont take vids themselves or photos and even less post them

-  One day, there's an hORRIBLE rant made by a dude that says that Ed and Yuuri are lucky to have found the other because who would want any of those disgusting cripples

- and they're a bit hurt but not much because they told themselves the same thing since they got their accidents

- But Phichit sees red. He takes THE photo.

- the one after the showers after practice, where you can see skin, soft scars, glinting metal, muscles and cloth making it SFW, and no comment under it like he use to.

- It broke twitter

- (Yuri totally roasted the guy that DARED insult his idol.)

- Roy Mustang is an ex-man-single prodigy. He was adored by the public. When he retired, he decided he wanted to go into Amestrian politics (ie, the Army).

- He's the one that presented his old buddy from the army, Maes, to Gracia. (people all around the world whined when they announced that it was Maes marrying Gracia and not him.)

- Roy isn't sure if he's happy for both his friends because Maes became 1000% more annoying after meeting Gracia. (That's a lie, he loves them both and is more than happy.)

- When he became a state alchemist, his fans where like “fire alchemy ??? U SURE ?”

- Yuri Plisetesky is a die-hard Yuuri Katsuki fan, and he finds it unfair that

    1. no same sex couple on the ice, and it sucks because those two could do some pretty awesome shit

    2. Ed doesn't compete because not enough money and he don't care much for the competition ; he's there for the fun and for Yuuri

    3. he'd love to skate on the same ice as Yuuri but, eh, handi sections and mainstream ones doesn't mix. He hates the federation so much.

    4. no one knows about the handi athletes apart of Yuri and Otabek (because he whines at him) and he finds it the most irritating thing in the world, it's a TRAVESTY.

- And just, one day, he goes to Yuuri's ice ring, and he watches him, film him for future reference and manage to catch on film a *quad axel*.

- And the regular skaters, they're like "wait what" when they see the video of the first quad axel in history

- "but we don't know that guy"

- and Yuri goes in a screaming rant about how they're all stupid, it's “FUCKING YUURI KATSUKI YOU HEATHENS HOW DARE YOU FORGET HIM HE COULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST RIVAL FOR GOLD IF NOT FOR THAT ACCIDENT HE HAD TO LEAVE MAINSTREAM SKATING AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM?!”

- And one day, Viktor, dense fridge that he is, find irl EdRi doing some figures in a public ice ring. He goes to Yuuri, says something like you skate nice, have you considered going pro, and ed punches him because the dunce doesn’t remember sharing the ice with Yuuri

- "I was too fucking kind i should have decked him with the metal one"

- Yuuri is nrgh between "he punched Viktor" and "am i that forgettable"

- Yuuri's also like Ed No Ed Stahp. While smiling happily because spiteful savage Yuuri. Who doesn't want Victor to get hurt, but he forgot.

- "We said no punching, Ed"

- ”Ed we talked about this.”

- ZE discussion they have all the time ; "Can i punch that dick in the dick" "No u cant"

- And he can only punch people if Yuuri is okay with it because everyone deem that if Yuuri thinks a dude deserve to be punched then he deserves it.

- If Yuuri thinks it's time to punch someone then it's time. Yuuri's everyone's moral compass. Except he isn't a good moral compass, because sometimes he's sassy and spiteful.

- Yuuri with really long hair after he stopped mainstream mens singles.

- First he was too depressed to cut it, then he realized it's easier for the automail. The hair gets stuck less in the joints and if they're long you can take them out easier.

- Phichit doing artistic© photos of tanned light hair Ed and pale dark hair Yuuri and destroying Instagram

- Al and Ed have been apart since they were 8 and 10 and they had the failed transmutation that left Al in a coma for 3 years with nearly no memories of his brother, and Ed without limbs.

- They went to different foster families ; Ed with Izumi and Sig, Al with the Rockbell. And Al doesn't remember Ed much, only what Pinako told him (he loved you more than anything, he was persuaded the accident is his fault)

- Olivia Armstrong is Ed social worker. The whole Briggs team work in social services.

- Ed refusing to search for his bro cause he's sure Al hates him, and, sure, Ed hates himself but not to the point of subjecting himself to that.

- Yuuri comforting him when he has nightmares about it, not saying a thing when Ed cries at night cause he misses Al.

- Phichit  stalking the whole internet to update Ed on how Al is doing.

- Al being so admirative of E.Curtis works in "Alchemy Actual". Pinako wince in the background.

- Al finds it hard to connect E. Curtis to his brother because E. Curtis is notoriously secretive. No one knows anything about him.

- Al doesn't watch ice-skating, and isn't much a fan of phichit-chu. And no matter how many times he falls on a video of Edward C. he can't connect either of them to his brother. Pinako's starting to wonder if he's ever going to realise Ed-on-screen and Ed-the-alchemist is Ed his brother. She shighs in exasperation and wonder why he's so dense.

- May being Ling's pint sized badass little sister (one of many but his favorite even if loves giving her shit)

- May is irritating and wonderful and god he wishes he could introduce her to Al.

- May find Al by herself and is like “... most beautiful boy i've ever seen in my entire life omg”

- She posts photo of her and him on insta, and Phichit send them to Ed, he becomes crazy.

- Al being in a perpetual state of “Wait what” concerning her.

- “Beautiful girl came out of no where to talk to me and flirt with me and take pictures with me what'

- She starts talking alkahestry and suddenly he doesn't register her pretty face anymore she's clever who cares about pretty I can talk about alchemy with her !!!

- May finds him adorable

- Cue budding romance while their big brothers are having aneurisms on the side. Yuuri, Phichit and Lan Fan finds it hilarious.

- And at LEAST Ling can interact with his sister and NOW AL but ED REFUSES and he is sad and frustrated so he goes skating cause he has too much energy and "you can't punch people for the lolz Ed"

- Yuuri just sighs and pats him on the back while Ed screams at the sky and goes throwing quads all over the place.

- So frustrated he tries a quint toe loop, but "not a quad axel, i'm stupid but not dumb, only quadsuki can do that"

- Ed having super nice automail that Yuuri offered him with the skating money ("look, we match !", he says, a twinkle in his eyes, echoeing what Ed told him a few years ago.)

- Since Ed doesn't want to see the Rockbell and has a « 0 interaction » policy, Yuuri found that guy that lives in a remote part of Australia that does incredible machinery. They go once a year with the gang.

- Ed considering himself « toxic » to those he loves. Lan Fan decked him in the gut, Ling rolled his eyes so hard it had to be inscribed in a book of records, and Phichit insulted him in Thai. He tried this bullshit with Yuuri exactly once and never did it again.

- Mari straight up hit him with a pan. She reminds Ed of Izumi.("My foster mom hits me with her pan, too.")

- Following that sentence, people start to be suspicious about his foster mom, until they figure out Izumi and Ed love each other. Their love is just... violently displayed. And filled with martial art montages.

- Izumi and Sig already have a biological son when they adopt Ed. Aoi is totaly enamored with his « big brother »

- They adopted another child, a little girl named Nina. Her dad tried to kill her, and as of such she's sick. Her and Al are the reason he started studying organic alchemy in more depth.

- Envy is Ed biological punk rock but so nice older half-brother. He's androgynous and loves confusing people. ("Are you a girl or a boy ?" "no.")

- Envy avoids Al cause he feels guilty too. He felt he shoud have been there for his two lil bro, no matter how angry with their dad he was.

- When Ed and Envy gloom together, Lin/Phichit/Yuuri/Lan Fan comes to hit them and like "no we love you yes we said love shut up, up, we going petting rabbits"

- Hiroko, Izumi and Minako being BFFs and drinking together. It terrifies everyone. They comiserate about their spawns.

- Izumi's kid is in awe of Mari (as he should)

- EdxAngst + Yuuri/coming-to-terms-with-his-anxiety

- "Where did your... special style of skating came from, Mister Curtis ? *behind, a video extract where Ed is doing a double backflip on the ice, before launching into some capoara moves while Yuuri smiles and just cartwheels for the lolz*"

- Roy calling Ed “a backflipping maniac”

- Cuts to Ed doing a triple back flip and a single hand cartwheel or something right after. Just to see the expression on Roy's face.

- Roy having ten cardiac arrest a day. Riza laugh in the distance. (She laughs at his pain all the time)

- "Curtis, when your in an ice ring you spend more time in the air than on the ice, it's not natural"

- One of Phichit most liked photos is one of Yuuri and Ed twirling Elicia around

- Even if Ed isn't an official competitor, he has die hard fans, that calls themselves « Ed's Homunculi », and they're led by 5 people that nicknamed themselves with the primary sins.

- Yuuri snickers at just their mention. Ed complains all the time. (« NO FUCK LET ME GO IM NOT EVEN A PRO DONT PuT YOUR BOOBS IN MY FACE DONT EAT MY HAIR WTF. Why are you all so DISTURBING »)

- Envy founded the fanclub because he finds this deadly funny, now he’s mostly in charge of the social medias.  Ed is horrified.

- Scar is married to Lust and follows her everywhere, to every competition sighing all the time.

- THE PRESIDENT OF HIS FANCLUB IS THE FUCKING FURHER OF AMESTRIS

- The idea of Amestris’s Furher being enamored enough with Ed's skating to give himself a stupid nickname kills all of his friends of laughter inside

- Aerugo is near greece

- Xing is in east asia

- Creta is near italia

- Drachma is between finland and sweden

- Amestris between germany and poland, and Ishval between poland and Austria

- Father couldn't arrange another full country array, and eventually decided to let it go.

- Envy's real name is Nichola Elric

- Lust is Veda Campos

- Wrath is King Bradley

- Pride is still Selim Bradley

- Gluttony is named Emilio Abatucci

- Scar is Luca Campos

- Izumi’s kid is named Aoi Curtis

[jeffmccoll]

I wanted to title this “How to get ready for your paddle tripping” but instruction, coaching & fitness training has become much like boat and paddle choices.

It can be a lose, lose situation making any statement on this as the discussion can take on a religious fever and for someone new to paddle sport this can be really confusing.

If you need anymore evidence on this here is a article from the Toronto Star that can easily be adapted to paddling 🙂

https://www.thestar.com/life/fashion_style/2019/03/15/are-you-one-of-these-five-toronto-fitness-types.html

I usually don’t like to do this, but because it can be so venomous on social media it needs to be done.

I am a past multi champion in both White water and Sprint  (kayak) and a past National team member that represented Canada in World Championships.(also decked canoes)  I was also certified by the NCCP in multiple sports (white water, sprint, hockey, baseball)  I paddled, was coached and coached with the best of the best from the late 60’s to the middle 90’s both elite racers and highly skilled recreational paddlers.

One thing I learned very early on is you can learn something from everyone, sometimes the solution that works is something that can be easily overlooked because it is so simple.

You really need to set some goals on the type of paddling or paddling trip that you want to acheive.  If you know what your goal is on where you want to go it will help in choosing the type of skill sets you want to develope.

Trout Pond, Gros Morne National Park N.L.

No matter what type of paddling disipline you choose, the one thing you should not over look is basic safety, how to self rescue and rescue someone else and how to recognize conditions that put you at risk.  If you are unsure of your rescue/safety skill set you should “bulk” up on these.  They are every bit as important as your physical conditioning for a trip.

What you need to remember is not all paddlers are created equal and finding a coach/instructor/physio/fitness person that can work with you can be very tough.

Everyone has different abilities and skills sets, the trick is to work with what you have to develope a good skill set that works for you so you can truly enjoy your paddle/outdoor time.

Even though it is hard water season, now is the time to set your goals and work on getting ready for your trip (s)

The type of tripping you are planning to do will dictate what kind of preparation you will need to do.  If you have never paddled more than short paddles from a close location to your car or camp and you are planning your dream trip of long days and portages, then you will need some serious prep time.

If you are planning, say to paddle Pukaskwa, then you need to prepare.  Once you leave the relative protection of Pulpwood Harbour & Hattie Cove, paddling can get serious really quickly.  In the image below this group was windbound on the shores of Superior for a number of days.

2 kayaks and a canoe leaving Pulpwood Harbour, Pukaskwa National Park

These shots were taken just west of Pukaskwa at Neys Prov. Park during the days they were windbound.

Waves were exploding over 15m (50ft) into the air.

Just a little choppy.

Learning what your limits are is really important to enjoying a trip, and if you are constantly struggling on the trip it will not be fun.  Especially if you are “older” and have never expeirienced a long trip or have been realitively inactive for a number of years.

I just recent came across this short article in Rock & Ice  and found that the message is universal to any activity. “Can old guys get Stronger?” (Women too!!!)

I found this line, quote “Tactics, skill and technique play a larger role in our sport than strength gains” unquote.

For paddling acitivites this is so true! but both flexibility and fitness levels play a huge role in your ability to enjoy those longer, harder trips.

https://rockandice.com/rock-climbing-training/can-old-guys-get-stronger/?fbclid=IwAR1OgIgJv-jGS7e9TCk-_spCpMPDiVuTGf7oVqX8fI2_WSldNyARhG9398k

Here is some of the things I do.

Walk! Get yourself some trekking poles and get outside. Trekking poles can save you a huge amount of energy, Depending on whether you have hiking planned on your trip or there are a number of  portages.

I personally can no longer run due to the amount of road running I did for training in my younger days.  But I can hike, and I can skate, both of which are great low impact exercises.

I love getting out on some of the secondary marked trails in the various Halton Conservation areas.  It is great for footwork on trails that are not road like.

For us “older” people you will remember this toy and their catch phrase “Weebles wooble, but don’t fall down”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq0OQBdIhsc

Trouble is we do fall down, and if you are not use to carrying a heavy pack or long hikes on trails that are rugged and steep, trekking poles can help a ton.  Collaspable trekking polls have little weight or take up space. This way when you go on your trip you will know what your poles can do for you. Once you know the type of terrain you will traveling through try and find a local park or conservation area that comes close to what you will encounter on your trip.

I have used trekking poles to help reach places like this where there are no trails.

Flexibility – you will need it! As we get more “mature” 😉 we all have a different variety of issues that we need to overcome to enjoy our outdoor activities.  This is where it can get tough finding someone to work with you at your limitations.

Something to remember in stretching is you should never feel pain.  That is your body’s warning to you.  You can feel discomfort but if there is pain you need to get that checked out.

I use a variety of yoga, physio and weight exercises that addresses my issues.  Many of the yoga poses you can do just about anywhere and I have done yoga since the mid 70s, (but I do get lazy from time to time)

What Yoga also teaches is posture, have good posture in your paddle craft can save you a ton of energy and aches and pains from shouching in your boat.

The learning to how to breathe in the exercises and to relax is really an important part of saving energy and relaxing the body during exertion, it helped me immensely during my days of international competition and training for those.  It is something I still practice and focus on today whether it by playing hockey,  weight training, hiking or on a trip.

As an example “Easy yoga for Arthritis” a PBS show is a great example.  If you take lessons explain your particular issues and work around them.  My downward dog, is not even a downward puppy, but the adaption does help.

Your trekking poles can come in very handy here to help secure your balance until it improves.  When I broke my coccyx off at the base of my spine using the trekking poles was essential for maintaining and regaining my balance.  In instances like this, it can take a long time.  Even if you don’t have any major issues it can take 4 to 6 weeks before you will see any real imporvement.

If you are on a long canoe trip sooner or later you may have to kneel because of rough conditions, either lake waves or rapids/currents.

Just remember tidal areas can have strong currents and rapids so in your prep work make sure you get local intel on an area.  This shot is from  “Hole in the Wall” Whale Cove, Grand Manan, N.B. Bay of Fundy.

Many of us have kneeling/knee issues from a variety of ways 🙂

For me one of the ways was through the tiny decked canoes of the late 70’s & 80’s.

and yes it was fun! and I would do it all over again!

Gull River, Ont

Chilliwack river BC, I am on the right side.

Nowadays I have a fairly high kneel, it can still be uncomforatable and if I have to do it for long periods of time because of the paddle conditons it can be much more so.  Some good soft padding on the knees goes a long way and the dry land stretching and practice kneeling  keeps me in the boat and able to still do what I love to do!

You can use a variety of aids  to simulate kneeling in the canoe, it can be a bench, stool, or in my case I use a rolled up blanket.

Again posture is important both in performing the exercise and for saving energy when you are paddling, if you look at the edge of the white board and my back it is pretty straight.  If you look at any of the athletes in paddlesport  (past and present) their posture  stands out.

I am not saying you need to be in elite athlete condition but working on different aspects of your fitness will make your time in what ever paddle craft you are in much more enjoyable.

One of the biggest problems for getting into paddling shape is time and availability to a cost friendly means of doing so.  I still have my weights and a small type universal type weight machine plus we still have my wife’s older version rowing ergometer which offers a great low impact workout.

Being retired makes doing all these things a lot easier, but if I am restricted in time stretching is the one thing I will never be able to give up (because of my butt 🙂  ) so you will have to choose a program that you can fit into your life.  I much to prefer to paddle for exercise and if you live in a “hard water” area you need to be creative.  I did a lot of weight training in my competitive and coaching years and frankly getting motivated to do weights is very tough, even though I know it is good for me as I age.

So again having goals can help motivate you through the process and have actually started to enjoy “planks” and the result they bring.

I like the rowing ergometer, as its low impact workout and you can simulate the muscle movement needed to perform the “J” & “C” strokes which if you are planning a trip with some distance involved can really help you prepare for the constant repetition that occurs on these trips.

With an rowing erg. you will again have to learn some basic techniques in using the machine.  You don’t want to “shoot the slide” where legs have not done any work.

In this vid. you can see that I do not do the “J” motion till the legs have done their work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfSrfhIk1us

In this next short one is something else you need to practice to help save muscle fatigue and to help prevent tendonitis in your elbows from gripping the paddle to tightly.

Here I am over emphasizing the hand release on the recovery part of the exercise.  It is the same with a paddle, this will help your forearms relax and give a chance to help clear out lactic acid from your muscles.  If you have never done it before it is something you will have to teach yourself in calm conditions and you may even have to tell yourself  to do it 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORDZGw82uOc

Hopefully this will give some of you food for thought in prepping for your trips.

There are so many different ways of preparing for your type of paddle craft adventures.

Finding what works for you can be a very personal journey and can be very tough depending on your circumstances, they key is to try and find it!

It is your trip, your journey the key is to adapt to that so you have many years of being out on the water or in the woods.

Lake Superior Neys P.P.

  How do I Prep for my paddle Season or major trip??? I wanted to title this "How to get ready for your paddle tripping" but instruction, coaching & fitness training has become much like boat and paddle choices.