#Naoya is just a little bastard man in comparison

[lale-txt]

trying to write fluff with Naoya be like... and he did not insult you for three minutes straight... for once he let you walk next to him instead of three steps behind him... he looked at you like as if you're human and not trash below his feet...

[badlydrawndrawnings]

Of Character Analysis and Comparison For the Detective

Because someone put Bad Ending 1 on Youtube, creating early discourse on the Youtube comments, so I’m like ‘screw it, i’m posting this right now and it still has some parts unpolished since I used (and lost) multiple translations’!

Major Ass Spoilers for Persona 5 (and Persona 1, Persona 2, Persona 3, Persona 4, and believe or not, Shin Megami Tensei If)

Recipe: Goro Akechi (Akechi Goro)

Ingredients: Reiji Kido from Persona 1, Jun Kurosu (Kashihara) from Persona 2 (Innocent Sin variation), expired sugar, expired maple syrup, whipped cream, cherries. Substitutes can be Ken Amada from Persona 3 and honey. *squints*  Oh, and Tohru Adachi from Persona 4 and Ideo Hazama from SMT ...if can be used as substitutes as well.

Steps:

1. Pre-heat oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Turn it off soon afterwards.

2. Get about 2 cup of Reiji Kido, and put it in a large bowl. Specifically, 1 cup for containing Reiji’s backstory as a bastard child* to a rich man who ditched his lover because he can, and another cup for Reiji’s terrible lust for revenge via killing his father (or Takahisa Kandori in Reiji’s case, his half brother since their father is dead in P1 proper, so go after the next best thing). NOTE: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD THE LOVER (aka the mother) BE ALIVE FOR GORO. IN FACT, GORO’S MOTHER SHOULD RUINED HER HEALTH AND DIE DUE TO THE ABANDONMENT SHE GOT FROM HER LOVER (and general idea of being stuck with a child).

3. Get three tablespoons of being an orphan and pretty much suffering as a youngster because well, it’s not Little Orphan Annie.**

4. Stir the mixture together until it you can’t tell the two ingredients apart, and make sure he is alone for about 48 hours in the fridge so Goro can get a sense of resentment to others, desire to be love, and the will to do anything to get his ‘justice’ on his asshole father. You can leave it in the fridge a little longer than that (49 hours is best). He needs to be bitter and alone. Like, super bitter and alone. Like, so super bitter and alone he doesn’t think clearly and be like ‘hm, it seems I can’t find another way to deal with him because it’s not like I have friends or family to keep me on the straight path’.

5. Add one and half cup of sifted Jun Kurosu. It doesn’t have to be sifted, but Goro is supposed to look more fluffy due to his hairstyle. This cup should contain Jun’s status as a villain (or antagonist, whatever you think is the better term***), foil for the protagonist of the leading game (Joker/Akira in Goro’s case), terrible crimes they did (er, terrible actions for Jun as JOKER I guess since he didn’t kill anyone, only making them empty husks), and being helped (more like being unintentionally manipulated) by a god. NOTE: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD JUN KASHIHARA FROM ETERNAL PUNISHMENT SHOULD BE ADDED SINCE THAT’S THE RESULT OF A RESET CREATED BY THE INNOCENT SIN CAST AND FRANKLY, GORO ISN’T ALLOW A RESET (as far as we know).

6. Stir the mixture again until it looks like pancake batter. When that happens, adds half cup expired sugar and three tablespoons of expired maple syrup to make sure the sweetness is the right amount of awkward (Goro has a soft spot underneath his issues and flaws and will show it to one person, but will not admit it because when confronted with it, well, he’s super bitter and alone). Stir again until mixture looks like a sweet sweet mess. If you don’t have maple syrup, honey is acceptable.

7. Pour mixture into cake pan. No, the cake pan shouldn’t have parchment paper inside it. Bang the pan onto the table (or counter, or where you’re making this at) to make sure there are no air bubbles.

8. Turn back on the oven until it reaches 300 degrees Fahrenheit again. Place the cake pan into the oven. Let it bake until it looks like it’s a fluffy burnt pancake because someone was supposed to check on it, and instead, managed to make him their personal yet expandable supernatural hitman (dad little’s villain is more like it...but isn’t that more of a female villain trait?).

9. After letting it cool for an hour, decorated with whipped cream and cherries. Take one slice from it, and eat it while trying to figure out your feelings. Once that is done, try to take another slice. You see that the cake has vanish.

If you don’t have Reiji Kido, you can use one cup Ken Amada (containing terrible lust of revenge via killing), but you got to put six tablespoons of being an orphan and pretty much suffering as a youngster. Also, make sure the mixture is in place into the fridge again for 52 hours so the mixture has more time to think about everything it can do dealing with his asshole father.

If you don’t have Jun Kurosu, you can use one and half cup of sifted Ideo Hazama (status as villain, even more bitterness at others around him, the mother not being in life-granted, Hazama mother just ditched him and took his sister away-,and strange vagueness for their fate like did  you and your sister actually just vanish forever) and three TEASPOONS (not tablespoons, TEASPOONS) of Tohru Adachi (foil to protagonist/got powers by goddess, job occupation, and terrible actions). UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU ADD ANYMORE THAN THAT (they don’t really have the same motives, and well, Adachi isn’t MIA and has a solid conclusion).

If you don’t have Reiji Kido or Jun Kurosu... well, use the measurements for the substitutes, but put it in the microwave before baking.

So yeah, that’s Goro Akechi (Akechi Goro)! He has lots of issues (like jc you ought to have therapy and legit question, does Japan has good therapy because if they don’t is that why he fell through the crack?), and while a victim of unfortunate circumstances in society, you little shit you’re also a perpetrator as well by making things worse like were you thinking clearly (answer: no). If your dead body was shown on screen, then I say you earn your redemption equal death. Sadly, you’re MIA for potential spinoffs.

Man, maybe I should make a recipeh for something else, like prompto^.

  \(oWO)/

*People either forget or don’t realize that bastard children in Japan and other Asia countries are treated worse than the West since over there, family's image and prestige holds a lot of weight (hell, if you seen any J-Drama or K-Drama that has bastard kids or implied bastard kids, you know they get treated like dirt). Sure, bastard kids aren’t consider a good thing anywhere in the world, but in Japan and other countries, like it’s the end of the world cause it can metaphorically destroy lives, and in Goro case, made his own mother kill herself from the shame and abandonment (Goro’s ultimate plan was to help his father get to the top of his political career before spilling the beans to the world, forcing Shidou to kiss his career goodbye). Hell, Goro is like, the Anti-Reiji since Reiji got lucky his mother decided to bear the storm and raise him, because I swear, Reiji could have turn out like Goro (re: might have killed more than just Kandori) if she wasn’t alive (she does ask P1 Hero/Naoya to befriend Reiji, and frankly, if Goro had friends before/during his revenge plan, they could have been like ‘don’t do the thing’...then again Kandori does die due to the P1 cast so maybe they would have help him with the thing?).

**I had three other articles about this, but I didn’t bookmark them. I’m sorry. You can type ‘Japan foster system’, and you can see some of the problems it has. It’s somewhat of a ‘blink and miss’ conversation with Goro in the game as it’s brought up once in his Co-Op/Confidant, but knowing some context explain (not excuse) why Goro did his revenge plan and not do anything else

***Oh boy. Let’s admit it, Jun did wanted revenge at his friends due to ‘Maya’s death’ when they were kids, and pretty much was villain/antagonist for 2/3 of the game. Yes, he was manipulated and incorrectly remember, but he was still a villain/antagonist and didn’t realize the truth until they beat the crap out of him and became so horrified with what he done, becomes the atoner. Goro is like the anti-Jun in this regard since Goro was only close to Joker/Akira and at best ‘hello...you’ with the others, and well, not MIA/dead. If Cognitive!Goro didn’t interrupt, it was obvious Goro was going to take the PT offer of re-joining them to take Shidou along side them (before he goes to jail because there’s no way he going to get away scott free). Even before Goro’s death, they admit they know how he feels and tried to comforts (er, cheer up?) Goro after he admits his life is just a bunch of bad choices (re: being envious of them having friends and fame of being heroes while he was going to get the short end if his plan work) and pretty much craps on himself (re: couldn’t be special, tells the PT it’s better to kill him so he couldn’t get in their way and tells them they should had killed him when given the chance right before he dies on them anyway). Hell, even after Goro’s death, in a group chat, despite the mix feelings, mourn him and feel bad for him (Yusuke pointing out he could have been just like Goro if he didn’t have the others stands out the most imo as it drives home the point that despite everything, he was like them) and fully put Shidou as the culprit to everyone’s problems when they confronted him about everything, from his crimes to the treatment of his own kid (logic behind this: Goro was the killer, but Shidou was the murderer as he planned it all).

^release the forbidden robbie daymond interview atlus because i swear to f*cking god i’m going to make more shitty ffxv jokes, not just relating to goro