#NVM SCRAP THE LAST PART

[sentient-softdrink]

Why not watch THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES?

We have the gays! Like a lot of them!

Scary stories and monsters!

Impostors! You like those , don't you?

Magic books !

Scary old people!

Eyes

Many eyes 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁🕷👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁

Super Mario Brothers !

[her-canine-teeth]

maybe by flower face - notes

Im sorry abt the blocks of text in the middle omg it was NOT supposed to be this long but im citing ppl! very exciting.

STILL WITH COLOURS but now its harder to explain bc its not pov; theyre being talked to. so im gonna just keep the original colours from the planning doc (wich is mostly who is shown rn)

jackie blue, shauna red

You cut so deep but

she cuts herself. p obvious i think. but its not only physical (more or less) but also jackies words (in the context of the whole scene)

I’ve always loved you deeper

1we know cannibalism is a sign of love (at least i think everyone whos found my edits does. idk the fanom rlly apart from tumblr). shauna has always loved jackie (even though she doesnt know it), through the years of feeling inferior to jackie (until the end). 2jackie cuts herself to give to shauna but its like more outer layer ig? anyways shauna eats like. her whole or at least not 5 cm flesh

Those voices in your hallway, if you let her in,

sort of resembles a hallway//obvsly th hallucinations started before she ate the ear but it was like the start of the hungry thing

You’ve gotta keep her

love the eye thingy omg. same as above

who’ve you been talking to

more like 'what have u done' but u get the picture

What do they want you to do?

also like. obsvious i think

Baby, I’m afraid you’ve been reckless with my heart

NOW jackie is talking. no more 3rd person narrator.

anyways yeah i dont rlly know what to explain here. she tore the last connection jackie had to their friendship and uh @amygobrrr said it better than I could rn

bc "Shauna was supposed to be the one person who truly loved her. The one person who loved Jackie, not as a soccer captain (like the team did), or as just a girl (like her boyfriend did), or as the mirage of perfect daughter (like her parents did), but loved her as her, as Jackie. Shauna's journal reveals even that to be a lie. [...]

Jackie is hurt, not over Jeff—though he provides her with a convenient excuse to the others—but over what Shauna being willing to sleep with him says to her about how Shauna must view their friendship. Shauna has told her that love and friendship don't matter. The romantic love Jackie knew she didn't feel for Jeff, the romantic love she believed Shauna didn't feel for her, and the platonic love she believed Shauna did; none of them mattered, none of them ever existed. [...]

Jackie is, at this point [the arguing scene], totally convinced that no scrap even of the friendship she was so desperately clinging to really exists. Everything she feels for Shauna is unrequited—everything except, of course, the anger and the hurt."¹

anyways thats why she died

While i was sleeping you slipped in and burst apart

sleeping = death. thats my humor. bursting apart references the panic yk sorta

God knows i love you so, but i won’t be your ghost

(^ thats not wjat ure hungry for is sorta love to me. idk why but i always have to think of that. one day im gonna analyse that)

ghost/hallucination idk. jackie tells her 'what? actually, you dont know. [my death] was totally ur fault'. shes not formless, passive, not just like hanging there (obviously its more shaunas pov as shes the one imagining the whole thing. so its shauna making jackie reject her again? (nvm the 'but we were just children' rn) maybe bc its because thats the most prominent memory shauna has of jackie; being rejected constantly. bc of jeff, bc of her giving her attention to other ppl, by telling her what to wear etc and therefore directly rejecting a part of shauna herself.

in her hallucinations jackie is way more like sharp and mean sorta; thats how shauna remembers her. this is how she lives on in her memory; for shauna, jackie is saying: im not yours, i never was and i never will be, even after death. even when literally nobody else can see me (REGARDING THE LYRIC. NOT THE ACTUAL TEXT i should probably say this.) doesnt matter if that is how jackie really was/felt about shauna bc thats not what it is about. not anymore, not for a long time; its about how shauna sees jackie, and herself through jackie. jackie doestn exist anymore; shes a mere mirror through which shauna sees a distorted version of herself whcih she attributes to jackie. (i feel like i should make a post abt this (esp bc you can reverse the whole thing) if somebody is rreading this (hi) pls tell me if i shouldd)

You’re the one who’s in my body ripping at the seams

(still jackie talking like vo style) I LOVE THIS its about shauna living jackies life. she lives the normal, homecoming-queen, married-her-hs-sweetheart life, not the went-to-brown life. instead of jackie - bc she 'killed' jackie (for the sake of this symbolism). thats shes in her body is a bit more extreme than that shes just living her life but like i get it? she has assumed jackies role, she literally married jackies boyfriend. shes not living a live similar to the one jackie wouldve led, but literally living her life.

but its ripping. bc shauna is not jackie (but fundamentally different.) shes not the normal housewife; if its only bc she cheats or her violent tendencies (outright murder) or her past alone. stuff thats like bigger than jackies body? idk how to say that. rabbits dont symbolize that but they remind me of like innocence almost? childlike maan idk how to say that but stuff that shauna is decidedly not; stuff that jackie probably would be. to me, it shows the difference; shaunas assumed life vs her real self. shes keeping the ceramic rabbits, shes keeping them, shes trying but shes still sb else. its not her life, it was never supposed to be

You’re the one who’s crashing on the highways in my dreams

(now shauna is talking) the bridge has aways been symbolic with dreams for me. probably bc its night there idk anyways jackie is haunting shauna, similar to a nightmare. when she turns jackies gone; it becomes abundantly clear that its not real, its a dream but shes still dead

maybe i won’t, maybe i will

yeah. maybe shell stay outside, maybe shell come inside

haven’t slept so easy since you left me in the wild

rlly love this bc technically shauna left jackie outside, in the wild. and she didnt sleep that well out there (she died). BUT i love it more to interpret this as 'jackie went outside, jackie died and left shauna alone to spiral into madness or something close to.' also shauna hasnt slept that easy after tbh

I wish i could have loved you right

bet she does wish that. bc they loved each other! they really, obviously did. but they (here shauna) didnt know how to do it right;

but i was just a child

(which makes sense consiering their circumstances etc). and they were children and like its normal to make mistakes and idk its probably not that normal to cheat on ur bff with her boyfriend but the point is children make mistakes. only normally they dont die for it. and i dont think shauna was cheating on jeff for jeff but for jackie (which is like. wildly popular thought (?)(has to be bc ive heart of it lol) so i dont think i have to explain it much) (or at all rlly) bc she wanted jackie and the only way she could have her was by getting with her boyfriend (the only person with which she was physically sort of closer than shauna). smell jackie on him and pretend its her etcetc

maybe I won’t, maybe I will

she was with jeff, she is with jeff, but in the same way jackie was and is still with her.

Run back to you

always (shows the progression, jackies always there frfr)

There’s something dark inside me and i can’t get it out

violence etc; its obviously still in her adult years

My thoughts ring in your voice now and i can’t make a sound

like i said above. shauna projects her thoughts onto jackie

You loved me holy with your cross and your disease

eating=holy??maybe. cross stands for faith; technically christian faith but it says YOUR cross and its a heart so its their faith into each other. disease bc idk made sense in my mind

Did you feel that close to god when you had me on my knees?

actually not sure abt that one; either its jackie asking: shaunas finally standing her ground, being bigger than jackie, confronting her and jackie is subdued (on her knees)

OR its shauna asking (in the context of the argument) if jackie ever felt that close to god when she idk put shauna under herself?? how do i word this (in shaunas pov) and jackie responding 'what? no'

If you don’t love me now, well then we all go down

if shauna doesnt go outside to get jackie inside then theyll succumb to cannibalism. and jackie dies (which is what happens, bc shauna does not 'love her now'

I’m your sweetest parasite, you fill me up with pesticide

shauna still loves jackie. think thats clear somewhat. (=sweet) jackie basically nests herself in shaunas brain, wont let her go (=parasite). pesticide doesnt refer as much as like. 'go away fuck u parasite' but, U GUESSED IT, the words that jackie says. bc she doestn actually say them (bc shes dead); thats shaunas doing.

bleed me Baby, gemini, hurt me til you feel all right

she bleeds. she loves her. idk what else to do. she does tell her; twist: shauna still is very much not alright

and i won’t, no, i won’t

she wont

You got into my head and now i’ll never be the same

'parasite'; as we see the violent tendencies have carried on into the adult life. also I rlly like her look here I think it rlly captures the essence of what i was trying to say

My trigger finger twitches every time i hear your name

well she does look uneasy

And maybe I won’t, maybe I will

maybe

Run back to you

literally spends the rest of the song running back to her. BUT ITS NOT RLLY HER OMG

you can find the edit here

¹whole cited post

[tyonfs]

🤧: did you ever feel embarrassed the first time you posted smut? Cause meeee rn lmaoo

I posted a oneshot of smut and I’m like going through the aftereffects of feeling awkward like sis I really did that haha

I’m impressed you can continuously write smut cause like how do you get over that embarrassed phase? loll

Hope you are well ❤️

HELLOOO i’m doing well !! just nervous bc final tomorrow AHHH but hopefully it’ll go good 😳 how about you? i hope things are good 💖

AND PLS 💀💀 I WAS NERVOUS AS HELL THE FIRST TIME I POSTED SMUT

tbh i created this blog to practice smut bc i want my main blog to just be horror/angst fics, and i didn’t expect it to get a big response here 👁 and tbh it taught me that smut is HARD, like horror always came naturally to me bc the ideas are so fresh in my head but smut is like 🧎‍♀️ okay how do i describe intercourse differently this time than how i described it in my last fic

and i’ll have to read your smut soon !! after my final tmrw i’m def getting to it 😽

and pls i still get embarrassed over my smut 💀💀 that’s a big part of why i don’t take nsfw asks on this site bc it makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed to read/answer them LMFAO i’d rather just post my own nsfw content and run away

like requests are cool w me 👍 but if you ask me to imagine jaemin fingering me or someone else then i’m gonna have to pretend i never saw it 🏃‍♂️ plus idk if anons are adults or minors so i’m not gonna answer with a “imagine jaehyun doing this and that to you”

but trust the buildup to getting to write and publish smut was a courageous decision ✊ i was VERY hesitant LOL i think i started with a suggestive fic and built up to an actual smut and even then i was still wary about how it was 😭

but honestly smut isn’t my go-to all the time HAHAH like i love to self indulge sometimes 💆‍♀️ but sometimes i prefer the story so i do post fics without smut on other blogs so it’s not all i have to show for my writing

also my fic “that’s rich” could’ve worked just as well without the smut now that i look back on it LMFAO when i was plotting it, i made it super smut heavy and it was pure self indulgence but as i wrote it, i suddenly wanted to incorporate all these little things and tbh i like it a lot better !! it was pretty much a big projection of my commitment issues LMFAO but my intention was for people to be able to relate to the characters and i’m glad it conveyed that

tbh i was super scared about publishing it because when i wrote on wattpad, people tore down my ocs a lot 😭 that was the one thing that kinda scarred me about writing about topics close to heart bc i tend to give my mcs flaws that some readers don’t want, and on wattpad my mcs would be dragged through the dirt

like i had this fic based on russian roulette, so like seven girls playing a game of russian roulette and the winner gets the guy they all like. so obviously most of them were toxic and hating them is understandable bc they were bitches LMFAO but when ppl started to slut shame them i was like 😭 wait outta pocket that’s too far

and then my other characters would breathe and get hated on for no reason. like there was this scene where jimin opened a letter and the comments were like “NO JIMIN YOURE SO DUMB” and then in the next chapter taehyung throws his letter instead of opening it like jimin and the comments were like “TAEHYUNG WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT”

so i eventually felt exhausted and felt like i couldn’t make my characters do anything without them getting hated on so i scrapped that book and lost motivation to write it 😀 i even wanted to rewrite for nct it the other day but i took a look at the comments and went 👨‍🦯 okay nvm

and i’m SORRY this went on such a LONG tangent but basically i think i rlly prefer writing smut on this website bc the community is much more accepting of character flaws and gives them the chance to see them develop !! and i hope you can apply that mentality to your smut fics and realize that we’re all here to support you 💕

[levyaustinwolf]

Thoughts on “Love Victor”

“Love, Victor”:

My liking for this series might be costly. I am willing to bet anyone a hearty, wholesome, safe $7.49 that this Hulu series won’t get a Season 2. Or at least a satisfying one. I have always thought that these movies and books were fine at the core level but always came off cutting some kind of corner that I always find slightly sticking its head out to the point that I have to share it. Unbiased of course, most non-cinephiles will be immediately swept up in any new show sweeping the nation without stepping back a hot second and examining this new story from every angle. Or at least every camera angle. (I’d first like to commit some doublethink here by saying I’m sorry and demanding a future apology, I’m obviously a new blogger and I’m planning this to be my 3rd post so I wanna tell everyone this is how I write and am, (big x-files nerd too)(yeah, I’m putting parenthesis in parenthesis, deal with it), and if this does somehow get me some cool newfounding for this hobby I’m trying to start/fall asleep since it’s technically 12:51 in the morning while writing this; anyway back to the review) For the most part, I really enjoyed Victor’s storyline. Oddly enough, I can compare this to watching “Dawson’s Creek'', unless it’s Jack or Dawson’s direct storyline, I could care less that Andy almost died on ecstasy. (sorry, ever since “Doctor Who”, “The X-Files”, and the Holocaust unit, I’ve been pretty decensitized”). Obviously this was a spin off, and this was a Hulu spin-off so there definitely could be some minor concern here but after completely binging this series I could fairly say it’s pretty harmless and it stays in it’s lane for average teen drama series. What makes this unique and what might get more attention towards it is, A. It’s a spinoff of “Love Simon” (adaptation of the novel, “Simon Vs. The Homosapians Agenda by Becky Albertalli”), B. the LGBTQ main struggle, fair to say, Victor’s grand story arc.

Quite frankly what drove me to this was obviously Victor being the main character and my subconscious remembering that this was Bob from that one 2019 Annabelle movie. (Which I saw, duh. But I’m also wayyyy too lazy to look up the title to mark the name in quotes for). Look it up if you don’t believe me, Micheal Clemintine or something was in it, and swung a guitar at a ghost werewolf, sooo thanks subconscious. Attempting to get back on track, once again, I like Love, Simon. I realized it was 50/50, half the time watching it. I would almost scarily predict how the scene makeup would play out,(which it always did how I predicted) and the other half of the time, it would stick on a shot for too long or make something unrealistically awkward or too cliched or a movie being stretched out to be 5 hours….

Hey, don’t get me wrong if you're still reading, god bless you but hrmm, like always, I have thoughts. There definitely is a lot of offscreen action that could have been put in, to the parents discussing (and frankly that angry teacher from detention; and the sex ed class quite frankly, I friggen love the plane of stimulated uncomfortable situations normalized by bad jokes and way too cool teachers). Let’s branch off the bad jokes thing I quipped, the bully from this series (or any stock bully for that matter) has always been a bit of a drag for me, knowing that most bullies are 2 dimensional cutouts from Hollywood’s scrap bin. I don’t even remember his name. I didn’t care about this kid. I remember he made a one-ball joke. This kid was 2.5 dimensional in the character development scale. And I say “Kid”, like how Freddy Kruger uses “Children”, Heather Langenkamp was not a kid in THAT one. This bully, sure like most of these “Love, Victor” characters are annoying to me, but not in THAT way, they're only annoying because they're all 2.5 dimensional, just enough developed to be somewhat of there own,but they are still pretty stock-y. Besides Felix’s rebound in the last episode. She was cool! I would have picked “Vertigo” for my favorite Jimmy Stewart Movie. It’s. Jimmy. Not. James. Nother pet, peeve you might say.

What’s up with Victor, keep using “Dear” and “Love”, like I know that’s half the point, but they're not writing each other letters for the pony express or anything. STOPPING BEING A BOOMER LEARNING WHAT GMAIL IS AND SEND 1 LINED DM’S LIKE THE REST OF US! *inhale* iknowitsakidtryingtofindhimselfthroughanotherlocalgayheroandimproddingjustabitbutiamreviewingthisandnownoticing. Sorry x-philes, I just wanted to clear this up, honest unbiased reviewer here.

Let me end this review by quipping on the last scene. I do love that Victor finally realized his self-worth and made everything worth it. (just hop mia didn’t come out too; come out hanging from her ceiling- nvm). Since it was constrained to those rough thirty minutes per episode I did wish they got the parents' reactions in the end instead of immediately;y rolling credits. Which, I do think this is a bit gimmick and this show didn’t need a pilot made so they put that in for a guaranteed Season 2. If you liked “Love Simon”, watch it. Need some more outlet for pride month, watch it. Heck just friggin watch it, it’s probably trending on Twitter anyways.