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alovesreading · 1 year

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Constant Repeat | Part 9

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 20.4k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: This is gonna be a rather lengthy author's note but it's needed. Y'all must definitely know the wonderful @imagine-that-100 and her masterpiece of a fic Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis. I'm not exaggerating when I say that fic changed my life in many amazing ways: it introduced me to the 1975, I made friends with N and she's now my best mate and such a special person to me, and through becoming friends with her i gained the courage to start writing again and finally post my fics. I hold @nriacc so close to my heart, so it's a massive honor that N allowed me to borrow Wheels and Curly to use in this story, giving them an alternate universe story line that melts my heart. I'm so beyond excited for you to read this chapter and the rest of this UK trip because it's so fucking fun and eventful. I'm looking forward eagerly to see all of your reactions! I'll shut up now, but I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!!!

Masterlist

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It was cruel how slow time had been going. A month had never felt longer, and days were specially slow as she was back at the Focus Creeps office everyday.

Organizing all the clips she had gotten from the recording had only kept her busy for the first week back, and after that it had just been torture to get back into routine.

The one good thing was that, since Aaron had a new PA, Ella was properly getting more into the videography aspect of it all and being mentored directly by Ben.

She had studied for that type of job, all she had ever wanted was to be behind the camera in any type of production and finally being able to do it, no matter how small the production was, was a dream come true.

However, it was a lot of work and, whilst she loved it, managing the crew and instructing a whole team for a production could get really stressful. She still had her PA brain in her so regardless of not needing to, she would take on more responsibilities just to ensure everything would end up perfect on shoot day.

Needless to say, just the thought of the holiday approaching made her incredibly giddy.

The day she had gotten to drop Breana off at LAX had been the day she had started getting nervous. The model had been able to get off work and fly over a week earlier than Ella, and even though she had offered to wait another week so they could fly together, Ella had encouraged her to go ahead.

Bre was already dying to see her boyfriend, so why would Ella want to keep her another week away from him?

The silver lining of the situation was that she'd get to be with everyone in only a week. Just seven more days to wait were nothing in comparison to the three endless weeks she had already waited so it'd be fine.

When she got home that afternoon, she went straight to get her suitcase which was hidden away in a corner of her closet. Ella laughed to herself as she packed away, the whole scene being soundtracked by Bowie. That was probably the first time since she moved out to college that she had packed her things with that much time in advance.

She had just rolled up a pair of black pants when 'Modern Love' was interrupted by a call. A call from the one and only, Alex Turner.

Beaming at the contact name, she swiped on her screen to answer and it wasn't even a fraction of a second later that she heard "Hello my darling!" being shouted by a very obviously drunk Alex.

Ella could hear chatter and music in the background, but his loud slurred greeting had been heard without difficulty. "Hi Al! Having fun?"

"Erm," The singer hesitated dramatically, "A bit, yeah."

"Sure sounds like a bit of fun." She replied sarcastically, making him giggle.

"Far less than it would be if you were here."

Ella tried hard not to laugh again, "Oh wow, I'm worried now I might not remember this trip."

"Oh it'll be memorable alright." Ella couldn't hold her laughter in any longer, giggling loudly at the slurred statement and he smiled to himself hearing that sound, "Remind me why aren't you already on your way with Bre now?"

She sighed, "Because I have a big shoot this week and I couldn't miss it because I'll be filling Aaron's place and working directly with Ben."

"You're so fucking amazing, darling." Alex started, completely amazed at her stories now that she was hands on working on the directing aspect of their productions, "I want you directing our music videos from now on." He demanded as seriously as a drunk man can.

"I think drunk you might not be making the best decisions." She quipped with an immense smile on her face.

"Yeah, no." He was quick to disagree, shaking his head profusely like Ella was there to see him. "That'd be the best decision actually. I'll give Ben a quick call."

"Alex, stop it you idiot." Her cheeks were already heating up so she took her phone away from her ear and put it on speaker to place it on her bed as she continued packing. "It's only one more week. Six days if you count this day as over."

He groaned loudly, "Six more days is too long. I can't wait to see you."

Ella was fully melting. It had been so excruciating to be away from the lads, especially from Alex that she kept thinking about what it would be to hug him again. To lean on him for support as she doubled over in laughter, to cuddle him again. She missed him loads, and she'd realized just how important he had become to her when he had left.

She tried to play it cool though, "Okay but you should be more excited about Glastonbury rather than me coming, Al."

"Well you are coming to see us at Glastonbury so it's basically the same thing." Alex defended himself, when in reality he really wasn't able to point out which of those two he was most excited for.

Ella could only shake her head and smile to herself, "You're funny."

"'Course I am." Alex chatted back with an almost offended tone.

She wanted to taunt him a bit more, he was always hilarious when drunk. "That wasn't necessarily literal."

"Yeah, yeah sure–" Alex started but was interrupted by Matt yelling, "Ellie!" out loud as he had come out looking for Alex and heard her through the speakers of the singer's phone.

"Jesus Christ, my eardrums just burst." Ella exaggerated as she folded a black top and rolled it to fit into her case.

Matt scoffed, "Why are you such a bitch, I was about to tell you how much I missed you."

Feeling accomplished by getting that reaction, she giggled but admitted, "I miss you too Helders."

"Did you drop Bre off today?" The drummer asked first and foremost. He was eager to see his girl, a month had been way too long already.

Ella was proud to announce, "Yes. Got back a few hours ago. She texted me she was boarding about twenty minutes ago so your girl is on her way."

"Thank fuck. That plane better speed here." The hours the flight took were always the worst wait for him, they had been every time.

"I'm sure Bre is making the pilot go as fast as they can to get to you as soon as possible." Ella joked, being able to picture the scenario so clearly. But as she picked up her favorite pair of high heeled boots, the leather slipped between her fingers and landed with a loud thud on the floor. "Oh shit!"

The silence from the lads' side was loud, but Ella's was louder so Alex inquired very quickly, "What are you breaking Eleanor?"

Whenever he used her full name, her insides twisted in a knot. Ella rolled her eyes at the feeling and sassily replied, "Nothing Alexander, just dropped a pair of shoes I was about to pack." She hoped he felt the same way when she called him by his full name.

If Ella had gotten an answer to that, it would've been yes but it was overcome by the giddiness Alex then felt over the fact that she was already packing for the trip. "You're packing already?"

"Yes. Apparently I can't stay still now thinking about this trip." And it was true, she probably took a look at her tickets at least twice a day just to check if they were still real.

"Well it is quite eventful, innit? Glasto, Nick's wedding, the music video..." Alex listed with a loopy smile on his face. It would be the perfect first stay in the UK for her, and he couldn't wait to make it even better.

But Ella was suffering through the wait so it just made her whine for him to stop. "Stop because I will cry from having to wait another week."

Alex flustered at the noise but he was reminded he wasn't alone when Matt laughed beside him. The singer sighed, really putting his drunk mind to work out a solution to the problem, "Why isn't teleporting a thing yet?"

Ella snorted in laughter, "It would make it all so much easier, wouldn't it?"

He really started going deep in thought, thinking about how if they were just grasping the logical ways of the concept then the government or whoever would already have something developed. Or they should, at least. "I'm sure there has to be something that–"

Alex's heavy rant was prematurely interrupted by the usual troublemaker in the friend group. "Ellie?"

"Yes, Matthew?"

"Don't forget to pack your skimpy underwear, you'll be going out on the pull here. We need to get you a rebound!" Matt was so drunk, he missed the amount of people walking past them and turning to see him after being so loud about his plans for the American girl.

Ella cackled, deciding between a few skirts she had laid out on the bed. "It will be noted."

But at the same time Alex cussed out his best mate, "Oh fuck off Helders."

Matt frowned at him, "What? I'm just looking out for her! She needs to get every faint memory of that dickhead fucked out of her brain."

Alex hated thinking about that being the situation, he wouldn't have it. "Jesus– Just, fucking shut up."

"I do actually," Ella agreed on Matt's logic, "But let's not talk about it." She sighed in slight melancholy.

"See?!" Matt fought Alex loudly, making Ella laugh loud at him.

Alex turned to the drummer about to threaten him, "Helders I will fucking–"

Ella stopped them before they could do anything, "Okay don't fight now. I'm not there to record."

"Don't worry, I'll ask Jamie to record as I kick his arse." Matt said confidently, almost ready to run back in and ask for Jamie's help.

But she was quick to kick the drummer's ego down a few notches, "I doubt that'll happen."

"Bitch!" Matt gasped out loud, completely offended.

"Thanks for the support, darling." Alex replied with a smirk, raising his eyebrows at his friend.

"Yeah, you just say that 'cause you want his–" Matt tried to say but it was all muffled what she heard next. Ella held her breath to try and listen but nothing could be heard other than shuffling.

About a minute later the line went clear again and someone cleared their throats, "Sorry 'bout that darling, he gets on my nerves."

Ella shook her head, only imagining what it was that they had just done. "He has that effect."

"Well I can't wait for you to get here, darling. It's gonna be fucking amazing I promise you." Alex would make sure of it like his life depended on it.

Her excitement bubbled up inside her once more, "I know it will, I'm so excited. Finally started watching Game of Thrones to practice my accent."

He remembered getting a picture of the three seasons on DVD she had gotten not long after they had gone back to London and how she said she'd watch it soon to prepare for her trip. "Oh darling, I cannot wait to see you miserably fail at that."

"Hey!" Ella warned him before switching to her very fake and forced british accent, "It's quite good actually." Alex couldn't not let out the loudest laugh at it though, which made her laugh back as she tried to say, "Don't laugh!"

He tried to stop but he couldn't so it was about half a minute later that he could properly say, "Sorry, that was just bad."

"You're mean." She pouted to herself, rolling a pair of jeans.

He hummed and sarcastically said, "Sure I am." Ella was about to call him out for it when they heard, "Alex!" being yelled out by Nick. "Okay, I gotta go now but, erm, I'll call you tomorrow alright?" He stumbled in his words, his tongue tangling because of being drunk and excited.

Ella smiled at that, "That's perfect. Enjoy the rest of your night, Al. Love you." She just couldn't help but add.

Alex swore he would never get over her saying that, even if she didn't mean it like he wanted her to. "Love you too, darling. Bye."

"Bye." She said almost breathless as his words hit her like she hadn't heard him say that before.

The line went dead and they both sighed before going back to their activities. The week needed to pass faster.

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Ella had been walking around LAX with a skip on her step. Her flight was due to leave California at seven in the afternoon and she'd be landing in Montreal at around three in the morning. She had a connecting flight, of course, but she had made sure to make her calculations well and she knew she'd get there in time.

She had made sure to leave her house and order herself a taxi with enough time to spare, taking LA's traffic very into consideration. The counter of the airline she was traveling with had been packed but she got her boarding pass about forty minutes later, with two hours left to go through TSA and then rush to her gate.

Being mindful of how long it would take, she had already taken everything that could beep off her body and placed it inside the big bag she was carrying with her. Though she shouldn't have needed to worry because being the time it was and the fact that it was LAX, the line for TSA moved specially slow, taking her about thirty minutes to get through.

And, of course, her gate was the one furthest away so she was power walking through the airport, not without making a quick stop at McDonald's first. When she finally found her gate, she'd sat in the waiting area with her laptop open in her lap to edit some pictures.

She'd had to do some shoots on digital for a brand that was working with Focus Creeps and despite it not being her favorite medium, they had turned out amazing. She had studied quite intently everything about photo editing in university, so really she was just putting old skills to use when editing them.

When she was almost done with the first batch of pictures, and eating the last of her chips now that her burger was gone, she noticed that the time in the top right corner of her laptop said 7:16PM and they hadn't been called yet, so she started to fidget in her seat.

There was just one person at the counter but they didn't have the airline's uniform. She could see a plane parked right at the gate though, and people driving the boarding bridge in place. Her legs bounced up and down as she watched her surroundings for any signs of them boarding soon.

Just when Ella was about to panic because the person who was at the counter left, her phone buzzed in her pocket, startling her. She pulled it out, grateful for a small distraction from her building anxiety and her face relaxed at the notification of Alex's text.

(27/06/2013 19:17) Hope the airport isn't too crazy at the minute, darling. How's everything going? Have you boarded yet? x

She bit on her thumb, looking around for anyone from the airline getting the counter ready for boarding but no one was there yet so she fully focused on texting the singer.

(27/06/2013 19:18) We were supposed to board twenty minutes ago, so I'm slowly getting nervous. Every minute counts, you know? I can't miss y'all at Glastonbury Al :(

(27/06/2013 19:19) Don't you worry darling, you'll make it just in time. And I'm sure you'll be boarding in no time, just listen to some music, yeah? Maybe some Beatles to set the mood x

(27/06/2013 19:20) I think it'd be better if I blast some Arctic Monkeys, wouldn't it?

(27/06/2013 19:20) I suppose that works too, they're overrated though x

(27/06/2013 19:21) Okay now, don't talk shit about them when I'm only traveling this long to see them.

(27/06/2013 19:21) Hahaha sorry darling x I cannot wait to see you, the lads can't wait either and Bre has been screeching about your first time over here since she got here.

(27/06/2013 19:22) You always know what to say, Al. I feel like I'm gonna puke from excitement now and not anxiety. Can't wait to see y'all.

(27/06/2013 19:23) Everyone's already planning so much shit for when you get here. Just a little heads up for you x

(27/06/2013 19:23) Jesus Christ... I'm scared of the hangovers to come already.

(27/06/2013 19:24) It'll be fun, that's all that matters. What Bre and Matt are planning though, I have no idea about.

(27/06/2013 19:25) Oh no, they're in charge of the parties before the wedding right?

(27/06/2013 19:26) Exactly, so we must be in for a wild night. Gutted we can't be together for those x

(27/06/2013 19:27) Who's gonna save me from Bre then?! She's gonna have me black out, I can't handle alcohol as well as she does.

(27/06/2013 19:27) You can't handle alcohol at all, darling xx

(27/06/2013 19:27) Thanks for the faith, Al. So sweet of you x

(27/06/2013 19:28) Won't apologize for the truth x But Katie and my best friend will be there, they'll take care of you x

(27/06/2013 19:29) Rude! :(( I'm so excited to meet everyone properly!!! x

(27/06/2013 19:29) Just stay away from tequila and you'll be fine darling x And everyone is excited to finally meet you too xx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Such good advice xx P.S. someone's just set things up for boarding! I'll text you when I get to Montreal xxx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Have a great flight, darling. Love you lots xxxx

(27/06/2013 19:30) Thank you Alex, love you too xxxx

Ella stood up from her place with a bright grin on her face. She'd never not react like that to his sweet words.

Once she got her thoughts together, she hung her bag on her shoulder, after stuffing her laptop back inside it, and walked to throw away her McDonald's bag.

As soon as she was able to, Ella boarded her flight. Feeling so elated as she walked to the plane's door and through the hallway up to her seat. She loved being in planes, even though going out of the country had never happened for her before.

She found herself unable to stay still when she got to her seat. There were so many things making her insides feel like jelly, she had a little silent cry in the plane as it took off. Ella was grateful nobody beside her could really see her as she had a window seat, her eyes glued to how everything was looking more minuscule by the minute outside until it was just clouds.

Eventually, she pulled out her laptop again and continued editing, she had a little bit over five hours to kill and since she had no other way to distract herself, she was going through the pictures faster than anticipated.

How she was going to brace the seven hour flight from Montreal to London, she had no idea. She probably would have to come up with concepts for future shoots, work with words rather than with reference pictures since she had no wifi.

Ella had been amazed, watching Montreal under the plane when they were about to land. The lights of the city lighting up everything for her to see, she felt like a child being amazed at such a simple thing, but it looked so beautiful she had to take a picture. She used her phone first but it did little to no justice to it so she pulled out her camera and took a few pictures just to see if it would show on film as beautiful as her eyes could see.

Even walking around the Canadian airport was fascinating to her, because all the signs were in French too, which made her think about just how amazing it would be to visit France.

Thankfully, walking through the airport and finding her gate had been a breeze so she could sit down calmly and just sort through some stuff that she had been procrastinating for long. Before starting to organize her scans though, she sent Alex a quick text.

(28/06/2013 04:20) Landed in Montreal a few minutes ago, and at the gate waiting for the next flight! Only an hour left to wait and then I'll be on my way. I cannot stay still!!! xx Also Canada is beautiful, I love it! xx

Due to the lack of wifi connection, she sent it as a regular SMS, not really caring about being charged. She just hoped it went through as she went back to her laptop screen to work the next hour away.

But her bubble of giddiness had burst when she and all the others who were waiting for their connecting flight, were surprised by someone from the airline crew going up to the gate's waiting area microphone and informing them all that their flight had been delayed six hours because of some issues with the plane that was supposed to take them to London.

Ella scoffed in disbelief. Of course this would happen to me, was all that came to her mind.

When they told them their luggage would have to be picked up from baggage claim and they'd have to check in once again, it hit her just how much time she'd be losing.

She started panicking as she walked out to baggage claim, spotting her flight number in the furthest conveyor belt.

She had debated texting Alex again to tell him about the whole situation, just to let him know, but when she properly made her calculations and realized how much later she'd get there, her whole attention was drawn to fixing the issue.

People saw her rolling her big suitcase around the airport in a haste, her bag continuously falling off her shoulder but it was the least of her concerns as she approached the counters of the airline. She saw the big line of people and was about to cry, but thankfully she spotted some people assisting at the very end of the queue that could help her.

Ella told them about her situation and they apologized profusely. They told her to wait as they saw what they could do and after twenty minutes in which she just watched them type away, call and speak with different people behind the counter, she was told she could get a ticket for another plane they had which was leaving in two hours.

When the time was very scarily going closer to six in the morning, she had been able to check in her suitcase and run to go through security once again. She was grateful everyone had been lovely in every checkpoint, because if she had been faced with another obstacle, she was sure she would've broken down in the middle of the airport.

Never in her life had she walked so fast, and it was only when she got to her gate did she allow herself to fully sit in the panic. On her way, she had been doing the math and she realized she'd be landing in London cutting it very close to their set. It was when she remembered she still needed to get driven to the place the festival was at, that she found she'd get there after the lads had gone on stage, probably in the middle of their set.

Without letting another minute go to waste, she called Alex and tried her hardest to keep herself composed. At least she had a ticket and it would be a minor setback, not six hours.

"Hello, darling!" He exclaimed and she could feel his smile through the phone, her shoulders slowly loosening up at the thought of being beside her best friend soon.

"Hiya, Alex." Ella greeted, trying to copy his enthusiasm but she failed incredibly and Alex knew her so well now that he immediately knew something was wrong.

He walked away from the noise around him, they'd gotten to the festival early and they were all drinking and watching the final touches to the stage setup. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Ella bit her lip, trying not to get too worked up and push herself to tears. "I am, I am. Just— My original flight got delayed six hours..."

Alex's heart dropped, "Oh darling." He muttered, filled with sadness.

"Okay but listen," She continued, trying to switch the situation around—more to try and calm herself than anything else—, "I managed to get a new ticket, but it leaves in about an hour. So, if my calculations aren't wrong, then I might be landing around eight in the evening."

He hummed, "The drive is about two hours and a half, it's okay darling. You're getting picked up by the driver we hired, you'll make it."

She sighed, "I hope I make it on time..." She knew she wouldn't be there from the start but just the knowledge of being a few minutes late to their set wouldn't make her weep at that very moment.

Alex just had to reassure her though, because anything could happen and it was out of everyone's hands so the last thing he wanted was for her to blame herself. "Even if you get here a little late, we just want you here. It's okay Ellie. I promise you, darling."

If Ella hadn't been in public, she would've let herself sob, but she had to inhale deeply to keep herself at bay and focus on the fact that she was on her way to them and that was all that mattered.

"Okay, Al. I'm just gonna distract myself as I wait and, uhm, yeah. I hope this one doesn't get delayed." She tried to joke but her heart sank at just the thought of it.

"Touching wood as we speak, Ellie." He truly was, knocking softly on the wooden table that was set beside him.

She laughed quietly, "I guess I'll see you soon then Al, but just in case I don't get there in time," her voice went a little quiet as she was getting sad at the thought, "Good luck okay? You're all gonna do so amazing, I have no doubt."

"Why don't you just wait until you're here to tell me?" Alex just wanted her to stop thinking like that, she was gonna make it regardless and that's what mattered to him.

"Alright." Ella agreed softly, trying to feed off his positivity.

"Have a great flight darling. Love you. It'll be alright okay?" That sweet conviction of his that he always showed when it came to her laced around his words had her melting and calming down in her seat.

She nodded, smiling tightly at his words. "Yeah, it will. Love you too Alex, see you soon."

They exchanged quiet goodbyes and just like that the call ended.

The panic had gone away and its place had been taken by excitement again. She just wished time would go faster because she had little patience left inside her and it had only been fifteen minutes she had been waiting at the gate.

Working on organizing her scans had been wonderful for her, not only because she had so many that she had forgotten about, but she had been able to see her growth as a photographer and it had made her a little bit proud of herself.

It had been a burden to see the ones with Julian in them, or the ones that she clearly remembered had been taken by him but they were good shots of her where she felt and looked beautiful so she would focus on that rather than give that man any more of her thoughts.

She'd known ever since that day at the beach that she was done with him, over the whole situation and, since she wrapped her mind around that realization, she'd only felt peace. He thankfully hadn't made any more appearances or tried to contact her—of course that also was because she'd made sure to block all contacts that could tie them together any longer.

That all had worked like a charm and surrounding herself with work and keeping in touch with her friends and family had helped her heal.

When she was sorting through the pictures she'd taken in March, that were mostly frames of her birthday party as Bre had been drunkenly taking many pictures of everyone, the crew had started to board.

Ella was glad to see they had started boarding earlier than anticipated and she was on her plane seat in almost no time. And to her luck, she had been seated beside a very lovely woman who had the most beautiful ginger hair Ella had ever seen. That had been the start of the conversation and the girl, who's name was Gabby, had thanked her and started conversation with her right then.

It seemed like the friendship had been sent from above as the two spent most of the flight talking about everything and anything: their jobs, their hobbies, why they were on that plane, the things they were most excited for when they landed.

"Rockstars..." Gabby has started after Ella told her she was on her way to visit her rockstar best friends, "Be careful, you never really know about them." She warned, based on past experiences that made a melancholic smile tug at the corner of her lips.

When the plane landed, they had gone through all of the checkpoints together up until the baggage claim area.

Ella and Gabby exchanged Instagram accounts and they promised each other to keep in touch and maybe plan something while Ella was in London.

It seemed like luck was on Gabby's side because her suitcase was one of the first ones to come out only 20 minutes later, leaving Ella with a long hug and a "Take care sweetheart."

Without the ginger beside her, Ella had been well aware of every minute that was passing and how if everything was going according to schedule then it would be less than two hours that the lads would go on stage.

Maybe if the driver just floored it, she'd be able to make it just in time. She prayed that was the case.

But time kept running and she watched people getting their baggage and leaving, everyone but her. It was a group of twenty people maybe that was waiting with her, and suddenly the conveyor belt stopped carrying cases which made Ella even more fidgety.

When she watched the clock go from nine o'clock to quarter past, she'd had enough. She sighed, fixing her bag on her shoulder to turn around and leave—after all, if her case was found, it had her information attached to it and they'd contact her so she couldn't care less about it—, but then cases started rolling in again and the third one was hers.

Ella practically ran towards it and pulled it up with a strength she didn't know she had in her. As soon as she had a hold on it, she walked fast towards the exit in search of the driver the lads had gotten her.

It took her a few glances around the crowd of people waiting for her to find her name on a small sign. 'Eleanor Hayes' read the sign in the man's hands and she approached him with a relieved smile on her face.

They exchanged pleasantries and he took the suitcase from her as they walked out to the car. It was outside that it hit her where she was. Seeing cars driving on the other side of the road and everyone talking in thick accents around her was enough for her to smile hard.

Even if she was two hours away from the guys, they were standing in the same soil and that was enough for her to breathe calmly for a while.

Ella got in the back seat of the car, and once again she felt like she couldn't sit still. The worst part was that she wasn't even able to call Alex or text him because her phone was basically useless.

So she put her earphones in and connected them to her phone to play some music. Something inside her knew exactly what she needed to hear then and so she scrolled all the way down until she found that song she hadn't been able to stop listening to since that day.

Her eyes watched out of the window, how they were driving on the left side of the road, how different it all was but something felt constant and growing inside her. But then 'Feels Like We Only Go Backwards' started and her thoughts drowned before she could even allow herself to point out what it was.

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Ella had made light conversation with the driver when they were walking up to the car and he had taken her petition to go as fast as he could to heart. He knew she needed to be there by ten in the evening so he had done the best he could.

Yet that hadn't been enough, because they got there at a little bit over eleven.

The driver had lent Ella his phone so she could call an assistant to the band's manager who was waiting for her to arrive.

The girl had been lovely and told Ella she'd be coming to get her and about thirty minutes later, with her heart leaping on her chest, Ella was walking up to the balcony at the side of the stage.

She was almost in tears seeing and hearing the massive crowd go incredibly insane at the sight of the lads coming back for the encore.

Ella had barely registered the manager's assistant telling Breana that Ella had arrived until Bre had jumped on her to hug her, and that was when the tears had started falling. Ella was so overwhelmed that she was just now processing the long day she'd had and it was hitting her like a ton of bricks.

She was so entranced by the guys getting their instruments and about to perform again that she had only been able to smile and wave at the girls around her. She recognized Kelly of course but she didn't know who out of the two other girls that were there was Katie and who was Alex's best friend.

Alex started strumming his guitar and teasing the crowd with the lyrics to 'Soul Love' by David Bowie, everyone at the balcony laughed as they sang it back to him but he was quick to cut them off when he said, "I'm only messing, I'm only kidding."

He walked backwards for a few seconds before going back to the mic and this time teasing them with 'Yellow' by Coldplay, which made the crowd sing it back to him even louder.

"I'm only messing, I'm only messing." He tried saying but the thousands of people ignored it so he laughed looking at Jamie and shaking his head, "I'm only kidding. Pipe down now, pipe down." And since they still didn't listen, he went ahead and started singing the next song which was 'Cornerstone'.

Ella hadn't even known that they had a string section playing with them until she heard them join the guys during the second verse and she swore she had ascended.

Nothing would ever compare to hearing Alex's stunning voice, accompanied by the violins and cellos, and the crowd so wholeheartedly singing along.

Alex was enthralling standing there just talking to the masses of people and getting them to cheer loudly at him when he suggested an old monkeys song that they didn't perform often. Ella was trying to guess which one it would be when the violins started the gorgeous melody of 'Mardy Bum' and it all sounded even better when the crowd sang along.

It was mesmerizing to say the least. Ella had thought seeing them perform Outside Lands in 2011 had been insane enough, but nothing compared to this. She had never witnessed something like it before and it was leaving her breathless.

A few tears fell down her cheeks and since Bre was holding her close, resting her face against hers, she noticed. The model turned to her best friend, cooing and gave her a loud kiss on the cheek.

Ella was sad she had only caught the end of their performance but so glad to at least have caught a bit of it. She wouldn't have forgiven herself if she had missed it completely.

She watched as Alex changed her acoustic guitar for his Fender jazzmaster when the song was done, and in no time he started playing the chords to 'When The Sun Goes Down'. The crowd was so loud almost completely drowning his voice, making everyone at the balcony sing along.

Just before the song fully kicked in after the first verse, Alex stopped and encouraged the crowd to get louder and louder. It was mental to see how much control he had over them, making them scream as loud as they could with a small movement of his hand.

Finally when they continued, Ella just fully let go of any inhibitions and started dancing with Bre, jumping on her spot and singing along loudly. The girls had done the same, all of them faking playing a guitar and headbanging.

One of the girls she didn't know had wolf whistled and yelled "That's my best friend!" which had Ella instantly knowing who she was. She was glad she had just spent most of the song with her arm swung over the girl's shoulder and both had danced together like they'd known each other their whole lives.

It all got even cuter when Alex asked the crowd if they could help him sing happy birthday to his mum. Ella had melted as she and everyone sang along, Alex had a permanent grin on his face loving the energy and how perfect the night was going.

Ella watched intently as Alex welcomed Miles on stage, whooping and clapping for her friend. She had only been able to see Miles playing 505 with them on video and caught glimpses of it in the studio when the guys were playing around and strummed along for a few seconds, but she was sure this one time would be life changing.

When Alex sang "I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck", she felt Bre teasingly choke her which made her laugh. That made her almost miss Alex doing it to himself softly in front of the whole crowd. She had to keep herself from letting her eyes roll at that, not only because she was in public, surrounded by people but she had to not think about Alex like that.

She couldn't. They were just friends and no matter how attractive she could find him, she couldn't let herself and her thoughts wander beyond that point.

The song reached its climax and she was taken aback by the crowd's volume once again. It was nothing compared to how loud they got by the end of the song, when the lights grew intensely and lit the whole stage as the band waved them goodbye, blew them kisses and left.

Once the guys were out, that's when Ella properly turned and gave Bre the biggest hug to say hello.

"I missed you so much!" Ella had said hidden away in her neck, "Today was awful."

Bre let go to check if she was crying or not, she only found Ella's eyes pooling with tears, "I knew I should've gone with you." The model cooed and hugged her back again, "Let's go back down to their trailer and I'll introduce you to everyone."

Ella sniffled and followed Breana, who was keeping her fingers intertwined with hers as everyone walked out and back to the band's trailer.

She expected the lads to be out there already, but they told them that they had gone to be quickly interviewed at the BBC Radio area. So she took the brief moment of tranquility to properly take a moment and meet the girls officially.

Kelly was the one walking towards them so Ella was quick to meet her in the middle and give her a quick hug.

"Hi! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Ella said enthusiastically, and the bride-to-be hugged her back tightly.

They swayed a bit in their place before letting go of each other, Kelly was a little bit tipsy by then and the lads and Bre had been talking about how excited they were for Ella to get there that she was ecstatic to meet her.

"You too Ella!" Kelly agreed and then turned to see the other two ladies coming to them. Kelly waved them over for them to hurry and both of them started giggling as they quickened their pace.

When they caught up to where they stood, Ella smiled brightly at them, "Hi! I'm Ella, so nice to meet you."

She hadn't known exactly if she should hug them or shake their hands but the answer was given to her when the brunette one crushed her in a tight hug which surprised her.

"I'm so glad we can finally meet!" Ella had reciprocated the hug because she truly needed it and it's only when the girl let go that she said, "I'm Flo. Welcome to England, love."

"Oh! Alex's best friend, the artist! I've heard so much about you." Ella replied, looking at the pretty girl smiling even harder in front of her.

"I sure hope so. I've heard loads about you too, it was about time you came so I could properly meet you." Flo winked and it made her blush, she was intrigued by the amount of times Alex would mention her if his best friend had been so eager to have her here.

Ella giggled and then turned to give the blonde girl who, by process of elimination, would be Cookie's girlfriend. "You must be Katie then?"

"That's me. Hi Ella, so nice to meet you." Katie said with a sweet smile and a tender brief hug.

Ella reciprocated and held her with the same tenderness. "You too. Congratulations on the engagement, by the way. Lucky guy Cookie is."

Katie laughed and waved her off but before she could disagree on that, Flo jumped in saying, "Isn't he?"

Ella nodded, already feeling that Alex's best friend would be one she'd grow the closest with. Katie felt the need to say something about her then so he pointed at the things that they knew from the lads.

"We've seen your pictures Ella and, bloody hell, we might need to hire you for some shoots because you leave me astounded."

Ella smiled brightly at that, her cheeks tinting red as she watched them all throwing compliments around. Bre threw one of her arms around Ella's shoulders and said, "Think maybe we should just take a day away from the guys and play with the camera."

All the girls agreed on it and Ella was totally willing to do it. "I'm down if you guys are down, that'd be amazing. I came up with a few concepts on my way here, actually."

"It's settled then. Girls day will be a photoshoot day with Ella." Flo settled raising her cup in the air.

"You tell us Kelly if you want it before or after the wedding just so we don't interrupt with any plans." Ella was quick to say, remembering the big day coming up.

"Let's do it after. We have loads of time before we leave for our honeymoon."

Flo smirked at her, "Oooooo the honeymoon. Big anticipation for that Boss, make sure you're well rested beforehand. I speak from experience."

"Wait, you're married?" Ella asked in slight shock. Alex had failed to mention that big little detail.

Flo showed off her ring wiggling her eyebrows, "Very happily so." And then she turned to look around for her husband, "Where is he? Curly?!"

And as if it was magic, the lanky man with the long hair Ella had seen earlier at the balcony had popped out of nowhere with a cigarette in hand by the trailer.

"Sweetheart?" He asked and if it wasn't for the way they had kept quiet, they wouldn't have been able to hear him.

"Come here a second, say hi to Ella."

And like every one of her wishes was a command, he appeared right behind her with a smile on his face. He dropped the cigarette to the ground and stomped on it as he offered a hand out to Ella and introduced himself, "Nice to meet you, I'm Matty."

Ella gave him a kind smile, holding herself from cooing at the way he held Flo close to him. "Hi Matty, I'm Ella."

The man smirked, "Oh we know, famous Ella. You're quite the talk around here."

Breana laughed, knowing how much of Ella they had all heard and seen through the band, especially in the past week and earlier that very day.

Ella blushed at the information, "Jesus... Good talk, I hope."

Flo smirked looking at her, "Oh very good talk, especially from Alex. He's been like a broken record since he got back."

She had no idea what to say so she just blushed quietly for a few seconds until Breana pinched her waist and she jumped, "That's... good, I guess."

"Indeed it is." Katie added with a subtle smirk and a raise of eyebrows which only had Ella blushing even harder.

"Okay, yous stop it." Kelly said, finding it adorable how she reacted to everyone's teasing. "You're getting her all red, bless her."

"You know what you need?" Matty asked playfully and Ella shook her head as she lacked a response, "A drink."

"Oh yes. You're far behind." Informed Breana who had been drinking almost all day with the girls.

"What would you like?" Flo asked nicely, wanting to get her new friend going as the night had only just started.

Ella had a think about it but just shrugged when she couldn't decide on anything she particularly wanted at the moment, "Surprise me."

Flo smiled hard, "I love you already."

So Flo and Matty left to make her a drink and the other four girls stayed outside whilst they talked. It had been mostly about the wedding, Ella had managed to convince Kelly that it wasn't gonna be an issue for her to take pictures all day so Kelly allowed her to be another one of their photographers but only at the reception. Because "I don't want you feeling like you're at work during the ceremony, you're our friend.", was the reasoning she'd given her and Ella smiled at her and promised she'd only pull her camera out during the reception.

Miles had appeared then, interrupting the wedding chat to crush Ella in a tight hug, "Fucking finally! We've been waiting for you!" The scouse had made her giggle with the scoff he'd let out after that.

"Sorry, had to get a new flight and it was shit." Ella replied with a struggle from how tight he was holding her.

Miles left a wet kiss on her cheek and pulled back, "Don't apologize. You're here now."

Ella nodded with a sweet smile, letting herself indulge in Miles' side hug and starting up a conversation with him and the rest of the group.

About five minutes later, when they were trying to get information out of Breana about Kelly's bachelorette party or hen do—as the british girls called it—Matty and Flo finally came out of the band's trailer with multiple drinks in hand.

They were carefully coming down the stairs managing to grip onto two cups on each hand when behind them someone yelled, "Oi! What were those two doing alone in our trailer?" It was when they continued saying, "You nasty bastards!" that Ella recognized it was Matt walking back with the rest of the band following behind.

"Oh my god!" Ella yelled, letting go of Miles and completely missing whatever Matty had yelled back at them because she was too busy running towards them.

She had her guestlist wristband on so security didn't stop her when she jetted off to hug the first person she saw, which was the drummer.

Matt had barely even seen her when she threw herself at him, "Ellie! You're here!"

"I missed you so much, I'm so sorry I was late." She truly was sorry but he wasn't having it.

Matt held her tighter and shook his head, "No need to apologize Ellie, it's all fine. You're here!"

Before she could apologize once more, the rest of the band joined them in the hug. They all crushed Ella in between their bodies and said her name in unison which had her laughing.

By the time they'd all let go and given her space, she had shed a few tears. She turned around with a pout and hugged them one by one, apologizing again and again for being late, for which Alex had gone and hugged her again when she was done hugging everyone.

Alex held her tight and rubbed up and down her back, "I told you that all that mattered is that you'd be here darling, and you are."

"I caught the encore." She mumbled in his ear, sniffling.

He loosened his grip on her and made her look up at him, "Did you like it?"

"It was insane Al. The crowd was so loud! And the strings!" Ella fanned her face to gather herself, "I will cry just picturing how it was from the very start."

"Don't cry darling." Alex cooed, brushing some of her hair behind her ear and wiping a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "We'll catch a rerun of it on TV next week, it's okay."

She didn't have time to keep protesting because Alex started leaving kisses all over her face until she giggled. It was only when she couldn't breathe from laughter that he stopped, getting a hold of her hand and followed the lads walking back to where everyone was gathered.

When they got there though, Ella was met with someone she didn't know. Thankfully, Alex was quick to introduce them to her.

"Ella, this is Penny, my mum. Penny, this is Ella." He let go of her to let her freely hug his mum.

And that Ella did, holding Penny tighter when she'd said "Oh it's so lovely to meet you, sweetie."

"You too. Happy birthday, by the way. That was a lovely serenade you got just then."

Penny cooed, "Oh thank you. And it was, wasn't it?" She turned to her son to steal a hug from him, "Thanks to this one."

Alex relished in his mum's embrace, leaving a kiss on top of her head. "Love you mum." She saw as she was all ready to walk out, her friend waiting for her beside his manager by the entrance of the backstage area. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, so sorry to leave you lot but I can't be camping out anymore. I'm not fit for this lifestyle now." Penny joked, looking at everyone who was watching the interaction intently.

Ella scoffed, acting like Penny was saying just pure lies, "What are you on about? I was gonna take you out dancing to celebrate!"

Alex's mum laughed at that, gently grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. "Oh sweetie, that's a tempting offer, that."

Flo joined in Ella's antics, "We'll bring the party up north next week then Penny, get yourself ready."

"That better be a promise." She pointed at the girl she had seen grow up, and Flo blew her a kiss in response.

Alex left Ella with their friends to walk his mom back to her friend, making sure they were all set to leave. And as he went back, he couldn't believe his eyes.

He had been anxiously waiting all day for her to arrive, his heart beating a bit faster the closer it got to their set. He tried blaming it on headlining Glastonbury for a second time but he knew deep inside that really wasn't it. Yes it was making him nervous, but most of all it was because of Ella.

When he had walked on stage, he had anticipated that his thoughts would be fully taken over by the crowd and the place they were at, but he had been wrong—the thought of where Ella was, held a place in the back of his head throughout the whole set.

And when they had been taken to BBC Radio's lounge to get interviewed and saw the mirrorballs hanging from the ceiling, along with the cow print on the floor, he was taken back to Ella.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

He'd been so fucking glad to see her there as they came back. And now, walking back and seeing her laugh with his childhood best friend, it was a sight that had him grinning brightly to himself.

The group seemed to be talking very eagerly about something, and he was just beyond happy that Ella fit perfectly with them all. His smile only faltered when he was getting closer to them and Ella snapped her head in his direction with a deep frown and a gasp.

"Alex Turner, how could you keep this information from me?!" Ella asked loudly, as she had just been embarrassed for not knowing something that seemed like everyone knew.

Alex giggled, frowning back at her, "What?"

"You've never told me that your best friend's husband is in a band as well?" Matty had just said he was excited for the next day and Ella had asked what was happening, which Flo had laughed hard about when she realized Alex had failed to mention it to her.

"Oh," he cringed, "Sorry darling." He apologized to Ella first and then turned to Matty to make sure he hadn't taken offense by it, which he hadn't but just in case Alex said, "Sorry mate."

"S'alright." Matty waved off with an amused smile at Ella's bright red cheeks.

But Ella didn't agree, "Yeah, it's not for me but whatever."

Alex laughed, noting that she had a drink in hand and he guessed that would have to do a little bit with her current mood. "What are you drinking Eleanor?"

"It's called 'none of your business', isn't it Flo?" Ella asked the brunette seriously.

Flo tried to match her seriousness but her smile couldn't be held back, "That's right."

Alex took the drink from her, only to take a sip and when he did he realized what it was. "Angel, you gave her a jagerbomb? She can't handle alcohol, she's gonna be plastered by half past."

"Well, I'll blame this beautiful angel right here." Ella nodded towards his best friend, playing with the word he had just called her, and Flo did a small curtsy back at her.

Alex hadn't expected this duo to be such trouble. He feared them and Bre together would be even worse and he didn't know what to expect.

"Of course you will." Alex shook his head with a smile, and Flo winked at him. She knew him like the back of her hand, and she could just see it all written on Alex's face. He was whipped.

It had been a lovely night, slowly and with the help of the drinks, the buzz the lads had gotten from the night had gone down and by three in the morning, they were all ready to go to sleep. Especially Ella, who despite having multiple jagerbombs with Flo, had succumbed to her exhaustion from her long day traveling.

The lads had their tour bus parked somewhere in the fields, so after the group said bye to Matty and Flo who were staying with the rest of their group, they took on a long drunk walk back to the bus. It had been filled with giggles at the clumsy steps they'd take, especially Ella and Bre's who were holding onto Miles' arms and subsequently making him trip with them.

The walk back had been exhaustingly long to them all in their drunken states, so when they finally reached the massive vehicle, they jetted off up the stairs by the door and chose the first bunk they saw.

Thankfully no one had chosen their bunks yet so there wasn't any bickering about someone stealing someone else's bed but it was hilarious to Alex, who had been the last to go up, to see everyone lazily slump into the beds and groan in relief when they could finally rest their bodies.

Due to how drunk everyone was, they had passed out almost immediately and slept deep and uninterrupted all throughout the night, even through the choir of snores coming from Nick and Matt.

That was until the noise outside woke them up at around eleven and they all realized that if they didn't properly wake up soon and get ready for the day, they'd miss Matty's band.

So, like they had been shocked back alive, the girls started getting ready quickly. Ella was so thankful for the bathroom in the bus being a decent size and it hadn't been much of a burden getting ready in the enclosed space.

She was also grateful for the girls around her, who were going on and on about all that Ella was going to see and what she couldn't miss, warning her about different things around the field but making her more excited about it all by the second.

They all had a bite of food on their way to the stage The 1975 would perform on, and they got there just in time. Matty's band was due on stage in ten minutes, when the group walked up to where Matty and Flo were standing by the steps that would take them up the stage.

Ella was well aware she stood up like a sore thumb from how she was dressed, not that her black shorts and her The Doors shirt were strange but her black and silver cowboy boots were. She had earned herself quite a lot of glances as they paraded around the place, but she couldn't care less.

Matty pointed them out right away but with a compliment because he truly loved them, "Fucking love your boots Ella."

"Awh thanks Matty." She looked down at them, already muddy and dusty but she loved it, it reminded her of home.

His wife had taken the chance to tease him then, "Be careful, he might try to steal them. He's taken half my wardrobe."

Matty bit back saying, "We're married so what's yours is mine. Technically not stealing."

A very tall guy with a man bun walked behind Flo and clicked his tongue as he threw an arm around her shoulders, "He got you there baby."

"George, you're supposed to be on my side always." Flo complained, but leaned into George's touch.

"For that you've got your cousin." The tall guy argued with a smirk, which made Flo elbow him on the ribs.

Matty cackled watching George doubled over in pain and Flo took that moment to turn around and call over the two other members of the band to meet Ella.

Another very tall guy with a buzzcut came their way, along with a slightly shorter brunette, and when they stood beside her with soft smiles, Flo introduced them to Ella.

"Ella, this is George," She pointed to the tallest one who had just been hurt in the ribs, "This is Ross." She then signaled to the one with the buzzcut and finished by pointing at the brunette, "And this is my cousin, Adam."

Ella smiled at them, "Nice to meet y'all."

They all reciprocated the pleasantry with smiles of their own and they started small talk until they were called on stage.

The big Monkeys group stood on the side of the stage, watching The 1975 get cheered on as they grabbed their instruments.

As they played their first three songs, Ella made a mental note to listen to their music when she had the time because they were amazing live and they had this sound that she wasn't really used to listening but she'd just loved. They all had great stage presence, just by enjoying performing and dancing around, and it was funny to hear all the things Matty would just say in between lines.

Their little group had all cheered along with the crowd by the end of 'You' when Matty jumped on George's drumset and played the end of the song headbanging as he looked down towards George.

They all looked amazing on stage, and when the next song started and the crowd got even louder, they fed more off of their energy and somehow got even more hyper.

Ella was particularly entranced by George, seeing every single one of his facial expressions as he hit the drums had her just gawking at him.

She had leaned back a bit knowing that was the only way Flo and Bre would hear her say, "He's fucking hot." as she pointed at the drummer.

Alex's best friend laughed loudly at that, making Matt and Alex turn around to see what had happened and when she informed them of what Ella had just said, Matt joined the laughter while Alex only rolled his eyes in amusement.

"You fancy George then?" Matt asked loudly over the speakers.

"I mean look at him!" Ella had said, he truly looked amazing, "Oh, and Ross! Flo, even your cousin looks hot right now!"

"I'm glad we share opinions when it comes to George." Flo winked at her, "I'll make sure to relay the message."

Ella blushed just thinking about it and shook her head, mortified, "Oh god, no, don't."

"But you need a rebound!" Matt fought and Bre nodded intently.

"No, that'd be so messy!" Ella shook her head just thinking about how she wouldn't be able to act normal if she actually made a move on one of Flo's friends.

"That'd be messy alright. The nice kind of messy." Flo said and that just made Ella double over in laughter.

They kept listening to the rest of the song after that, and Ella was sure she'd have the chorus stuck in her head forever. 'Chocolate' was a hit, no wonder it had been their breakthrough.

She pouted when Matty said the next one will be their last, leaving her to wish to see a longer set of theirs in the future.

The strong riff of the guitar had her already hooked but it was the lyrics to it that made her slowly become obsessed with it.

When Matty turned around to point at Flo as he sang "She's got a boyfriend anyway", Ella gasped realizing this was about her. She screeched then when Matty turned back around to face the crowd and the lyrics got more interesting.

She couldn't help but become entranced by how proud Flo looked of Matty, it was so sweet to see the way she wholeheartedly sang along, her smile never leaving her face.

The end of the song was just heavy and perfect, made it erratic and Ella was absolutely loving it. Especially when the last line Matty sang was changed to "You've got a husband anyway" as he pointed at himself while looking straight at his wife.

Flo blew him a kiss and Matty turned around to play the outro of the song with all the energy he had, it was captivating. Ella was taken aback when it hit her that she was now friends with all these incredible musicians, it was truly a dream that had her pinching herself.

When the guys came off stage, it was pure adrenaline they were running on. Matty didn't take a second to kiss his wife earnestly, and Ella could almost cry from how adorable they were.

The rest of the day had been spent with them all running around the festival, sharing drinks as they tried to catch up to artists in different stages, bumping into friends like Zackery who had taken a few pictures of them—and introduced the band to a group of artists who had designed and hand painted a leather jacket for them at their request for a song in the upcoming album.

Ella had been loving how different yet similar the festival was when comparing it to Bonnaroo. The messy muddy fields, the loud chatter and laughter, the smell of good food in the air mixed with the good weed. She was on cloud nine and she didn't want to leave.

That night they watched The Rolling Stones and it had been absolutely insane seeing Mick Jagger on stage. She was sure she'd lose her voice from how loud she screamed when Mick Taylor was invited on stage and when they performed '2000 Light Years From Home'. She was sure she'd never be able to listen to The Rolling Stones the same ever again.

Sunday hadn't been any different. They had enjoyed every bit of the festival like it was the last they'd ever attend.

Ella had been so grateful to have experienced all of it, and she had made sure to tell Alex that multiple times. The group was so glad they had the massive bus to drive them back home and they needn't worry about a thing through the whole drive but be completely comfortable and enjoy the peace after the bustling weekend. It had ended up being almost three hours due to the traffic, but that had allowed them to rest longer so they didn't complain.

She'd asked to be dropped off at the hotel she was staying at and Alex had offered to go with her and then walk home as she wasn't staying too far away from his flat, but she declined because she knew he was exhausted and so was she so she walked in alone at four in the morning to check in.

It was amazing that it hadn't been a struggle to get checked in, she had been expecting something going wrong with that too after all that had happened at the airports when she was on her way there but it hadn't been, so with her keys in hand she made her merry way up to the fifth floor and to her room.

The little energy Ella had left in her was put into taking a shower, brushing her teeth and just plopping onto bed. The weekend had felt longer than just three days, it felt like it had already been a week since she'd had to run around Montreal's airport like a madwoman looking for a new ticket.

She sighed happily as she snuggled into the plush pillows in the dark, her eyes closed but behind her eyelids was the whole weekend playing like a film and she found herself filling up with warmth. She couldn't wait to see what else this trip would have in store for her, she only hoped it was all good.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The greatness of the London Eye had Ella trying to gather herself in search of words. She had been struggling to truly believe where she was since she woke up to a view she wasn't used to, gloomy and no sun out, the sky teasing a rainfall later, a little chilly when she went out the balcony for a smoke and the bustling of a city she was yet to get to know.

Alex had called her—thankfully they had figured out the whole cell roaming situation during the weekend so she wasn't uncommunicated and alone—, telling her to get ready as he was coming to get her and they'd be walking around London so she could get her proper touristy stroll around the city.

She had personally asked him for one at Glastonbury, when they were eating as they walked between stages, and he had gladly agreed to it. He wanted to be the one to witness her reactions to one of the cities he held so close to his heart.

Ella's steps slowed as they got closer to the attraction, people already in a long line at eleven in the morning.

"Holy fuck, it's huge." She gasped, staring all around the giant metal structure.

Alex just watched her mesmerized expression with a smile, "D'you wanna get on it?"

"Erm, not really. But I might as well have to, right?" She was looking at the very top of it which was barely in her line of sight but she would have to bear it because why would she come all the way there to not get on it.

"Flying all the way here to not get on it would be regrettable." He said honestly, it looked scary but it was a great experience, one that he didn't want her to miss.

Ella sighed, her brows a little furrowed as she gathered some courage, "Alright let's go."

They quietly walked to the end of the line, which had resumed moving slowly, and Ella felt her heart racing in her chest. Not only because of how she was shitting it thinking about how high she'd be once inside but from the memories coming aggressively to the forefront of her mind.

Valentine's day, Belmont Park. With Alex beside her, just like at that very moment.

She smiled to herself, the thought of that day no longer bitter by any grudges she was holding. So she thought mentioning it might distract her and keep her from shaking. "At least it's a shorter wait than the one we did at Belmont Park, remember?"

Alex gave her a sweet smile, really enjoying the opportunity to think back to that day but he also wanted to take the moment to tease her as she was fidgeting in her place. "Still afraid of heights, darling?"

"Yes but don't remind me, or I'll make you take me to the next place to not get on." Ella smiled slightly embarrassed, her cheeks tinting a faint pink.

"You silly thing." Alex laughed breathlessly, reaching out to grab her wrist and pull her into his side to hug her, "Just think about all the stunning pictures you're gonna be able to take."

She melted into him, looking up and grinned brightly at him, "You just always know how to get me on your side, don't you?" It really did seem like it to her, how fast he could make her twist her arm into stepping out of her comfort zone so she'd enjoy herself.

He just stared down at her adoringly, counting every freckle on her cheeks and admiring how the makeup she had on just accentuated every little thing on her face. So he said sincerely, "I'm glad I do." because he was truly grateful he could.

About ten minutes passed, silence between them was comfortable but sometimes broken by small talk about random things they'd remember or things she was hoping to see and the possibilities of places they could visit.

They had stayed holding each other the whole time: Alex's arm around her shoulders, his fingers clutching her tightly, and Ella's arm around his waist, her thumb rubbing little circles over the fabric of his shirt.

That was until she had remembered about Alex and who he was and she had started overthinking and noticing more and more the glances the people in line were giving them, so she gently pushed herself away from him and he had to slowly let his arm drop from its place around her.

Alex gave her a questioning look and Ella recoiled into herself as she gave him an answer, "I just keep thinking people are looking at us– well, you. And I don't wanna get you in trouble."

"What do you mean?" The singer frowned, not really understanding in which way she'd do that.

"Well, I just feel like they keep glancing over here and I don't want you to get swarmed for being recognized." Her voice was small as she explained, scared of sounding stupid but in her head, it made sense.

He chuckled softly, brushing off his status. "Darling, I'm not that big of a deal."

But Ella wouldn't let him try to downplay it, "Sure you aren't Mr. Rockstar." She rolled her eyes with amusement, "This is your home country, and you're massive here."

Alex just shook his head to have her let go of her worries, "Not gonna get swarmed, darling." And then he further explained, "You know most—if not all—known people that do, is because they get their agents to put out their locations for paparazzi and media's attention right?"

"Oh?" Ella blushed, feeling oh so stupid, "Do they really?"

"Yeah, and it's bullshit. You'll never find me doing that so don't worry. We're safe." He assured, tucking her into his side once more and he smiled when he felt her arm snaking around his middle once again.

"It's just because you love the mysterious act, though, isn't it? Maintains the appeal." She pinched his waist to accentuate the teasing, making him laugh.

"Dickhead."

They laughed together then, falling back into a comfortable silence, just relishing in the warmth they got from each other. It wasn't awfully cold but it was chilly and it was how used she'd gotten to Californian weather that had her performing worse in weather that she used to be able to bear when she lived in Tennessee.

Alex kept her warm and cozy so Ella found herself really snuggling into him and he accepted it with a smirk on his face. Moments like this was all he wanted.

The minutes passed and Ella couldn't help but be hypnotized by the whole scene, especially when they moved further and further up the line until they ended up in a corner where they had the perfect backdrop of the Thames and the city of London.

He felt her get away from his hold again but when she saw her reaching down to grab the camera hanging from around her neck, he breathed calmly.

"Stay there, I wanna take a picture." She instructed, seeing that his position was perfect for a picture.

"Here?" Alex asked, not sure if she really wanted a picture of him right there and then.

But Ella showed him the prettiest smile and said, "Yep, just like that." and Alex couldn't say no, not that he'd really ever tell her no. "Smile for me, sweets." The pet name rolled off her tongue so easily when seeing him standing like that in front of her.

"Sweets?" A massive grin broke out on his face hearing her call him that, his insides melting at the simple word.

Ella pressed the shutter instantly, exhaling in relief at having caught that face in time. "Perfect."

"Sweets?" Alex asked again just to check he hadn't imagined that.

"Yeah..." She timidly confirmed, rolling the film and tucking the lever back in its place to turn off the camera and let it softly drop back over her chest.

He watched her take small steps towards him again and accepted her back in his arms with a "M'kay darling."

Ella poked his ribs making him jump before asking "You don't like it?"

Alex was quick to retort, "Who said that?"

"I don't know–" She tried to start but he was quick to dismiss the whole thing.

"I love it." He backtracked quickly and firmly with an honest smile on his face that had her biting her tongue and fighting back a smile just as big as his.

In no time, the line moved sporadically and it was sooner than expected that they were boarded into a capsule with a family of five.

Ella stepped inside with wobbly steps and Alex followed closely behind. "Oh my god..." Her words were breathless as she was taken aback by the view around her.

"That line was quicker than I expected." The singer thought out loud as he got beside her, both of them standing close to the windows.

But when she heard the glass doors closing and felt the capsule moving to the right, she took a big step back and reached back to hold his hand. "Al, you're gonna have to stay near me because this is freaking me out."

He squeezed her hand in his and giggled, "I'll stay right here."

"Okay..." Ella mumbled unsure but soon her whole attention was taken by how perfectly she could see it all in front of her. "This is so beautiful."

Alex could feel her hands growing sweaty and starting to shake so he took it upon himself to distract her. "You can see it all from here. Look," He pointed to their left, "That's Westminster bridge, the Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and Parliament." He listed as his finger pointed at each of the landmarks, making sure she was correctly watching each as he talked, "We can see it a bit better now that it's going up, oh and there's Buckingham Palace as well."

It looked so small from there but it was still breathtaking, "Oh wow..." Her heart was swelling in her chest now, just from being able to experience this, "We can see the whole city, Al!" She whispered with such excitement that made Alex want to coo at her.

"It's quite the view, isn't it." He took the smallest step towards her until he was pressed softly against her back and he leaned in to watch her face.

She turned to him completely mesmerized, "I think New York has got some big competition in my book now."

"A tough one between them two." He agreed, resting his chin on her shoulder for a second before standing back up straight again and pointing to their right now, "Oh look, over there is St. Paul's Cathedral. We're going there later 'cause I know you'll love it. And way back over there is the Tower of London and Tower Bridge."

Her eyes swam around the panoramic view and it was all well until she made the mistake of looking down to her feet and her heart sank. With her eyes closed, her panicked words came out incredibly fast, "I'm loving this view but I just accidentally looked down and I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack."

"You're okay darling, I'm here." Alex promised, taking his hand that was still intertwined with hers and wrapping that arm around her waist, "Just take your pictures, I won't move an inch."

She gulped and let her eyes open up again, feeling slightly better in his hold and slowly untangled her fingers from his to lift her camera, "Okay."

It certainly worked like magic. The second she started looking at the city through that viewfinder, it was like she had completely forgotten she was hundreds of feet above the ground in a spinning wheel, completely focused on capturing the panorama as best as she could.

Alex watched intently as she worked, noticing the little things she did like biting her lip as her finger hovered and seemed to hesitate for a few seconds over the shutter until she caught the perfect moment and it was just a triumphant smile as she turned the lever and then the cycle began again.

Ella counted the shots in her head and only stopped when she had only twelve frames left in the roll.

Letting her head fall on Alex's shoulder, she had to ask, "How long does this take again?" Only because she had felt like she'd lost track of time.

"Half an hour but it's already been fifteen minutes so we're halfway there." His fingers rubbed circles on her waist, sometimes the pads of his fingertips managing to get under her shirt and erupting goosebumps on her skin.

She felt like she was burning up so she let her camera drop back down on her chest and turned around to face him. "I'm just gonna stare at you now because if I look out I'm definitely gonna freak out." She giggled a bit, trying to trick herself into thinking that looking at Alex wouldn't have her chest tighten just as much.

"That's fine by me." He replied with a smirk.

But she didn't entertain his teasing, only giving him a sincere, "Thank you." in return.

His face fell into a sweet smile, "Nothing to thank me for, darling. I'm buzzing to have you here right now." He wasn't afraid to admit it at all, because he truly was beyond happy about the whole situation.

"See? Sweetness!" She softly exclaimed, bringing one of her hands up to cup his cheek but before Alex could get his hopes up on anything happening, she squished his cheeks with her hand, "You're just pure sweetness."

Ella felt his face go warm under her touch so with a giggle she let her hand fall back down. "Your hair looks great today." He looked great. In a pair of blue jeans, a white shirt and his brown leather jacket—he had changed the Chelsea boots for white high top converse and a pair of sunglasses had been tucked into one of the pockets of his jacket.

"You like it?" Alex asked innocently like the simple compliment hadn't made his heart rate stutter.

She nodded, "You know I do. It always looks amazing but whenever it's just like this, without gel..." Her fingers combed through the freshly cut greaser looking hairstyle, "It's so soft."

He nudged her hand with his nose softly and joked, "Are you messing it up?"

She chuckled, combing through it again and again to give it its perfect shape, "I'm fixing a few strands here." She used both her hands then to bring a few of the strands to fall on his forehead like she loved. "There you go."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Look good?"

Ella's answer was quick, "Beautiful." And she didn't waste a beat to ask, "Can I have another picture?"

"Of me?" Alex asked naively and she just hummed, so he shrugged and nodded, "I suppose."

"I wanna have one of this very moment. With you, my favorite tourist guide." She joked in the end to make it seem less like she was baring her heart out to him.

"Right." He chuckled, his eyes crinkling around the edges slightly.

But she wanted more, she wanted to see his grin fully reach his eyes. "C'mon sweets, show me that gorgeous smile."

Her teasing worked because he felt his cheeks warming again and he had to keep himself from averting his gaze from hers, "Stop." He only said, half a warning but mostly a plea for mercy on his heart.

"What?" Ella inquired like she had nothing to do with it, if she only knew all that she did to him. "Amazing, t'was perfect." She complimented once more.

Alex had to change the topic then because he felt like he could combust any second, "Are you taking them in black and white?"

She had mentioned it earlier when he'd called her, as she was debating whether or not it'd look better. "Decided against it last minute. I don't know, there's something about the atmosphere today that I just wanted to capture the closest to reality I could."

He hummed, understanding what she meant, "You can always take the black and white ones later, you're staying three weeks after all."

Ella smiled brightly at the reminder, that many days just sounded so promising and she couldn't ignore how this was one of the very few times she felt ecstatic thinking about the uncertainty of what the future had to hold.

"So glad I am. It's barely been three days and I already know this is one of the best trips of my life."

"It's only just getting started darling." Alex winked, making a giggle bubble up her throat again and what a lovely sound that was.

Just like that, they had done the full ride and they hadn't realized it was done until they heard the doors open back up, way too entranced in their own little bubble. It was lucky that the rest of the people inside their capsule were on holiday and no one from the family had interest in finding out who they were or interrupting what they were doing.

When they walked out, Alex let out a loud laugh when Ella thanked God for firm soil multiple times, said so devotedly like she wasn't a determined atheist.

From there, they walked through Westminster Bridge to get to Big Ben. Ella had gasped as their feet took them across the bridge and asked Alex to pinch her because she felt like she was dreaming.

She couldn't believe her eyes were actually seeing all of that for themselves in real life and not through stock pictures on Google.

Seeing her glowing from her excitement had Alex's heart breaking as he had to give her some bad news. "This actually has me fuming now because this is just one of those things everyone wants to see once in their life but, a few years back they closed all Big Ben and Parliament tours to people who aren't UK citizens or residents so unfortunately I won't be able to take you inside for a tour."

Ella clearly deflated but it was in an instant that she really turned the situation around in her head. She shook her head standing in her place, making Alex stop beside her on the sidewalk, and she pointed at the landmark right in front of them, "But I'm seeing it right now and that's what counts, Al. It's okay."

Alex hummed reluctantly, still disappointed at not being able to give her the best experience. "We can walk around it, I'm half sure there's some places you can manage to take a peek inside."

She giggled and grabbed his hand, fingers intertwining as she went ahead and dragged him behind her to finish their walk through the bridge. Alex didn't say a word, his smile permanently stuck on his face as he watched her walk enthusiastically in front of him.

She had changed her roll of film right when they got to the street across the monumental place. Alex chuckled as she made him help her by covering her device with his jacket so that her first roll didn't mess up as she put it away, and the new one didn't either as she locked it and rolled it inside before placing the lid back in its place.

They resumed their walk, Alex closely walking next to her with a hand hovering on her lower back as she kept her hands engulfed around her camera but he felt the need to keep his touch on her.

Ella had taken so many pictures already, and about fifteen minutes later she had grown worried she hadn't stuffed enough rolls in her bag before leaving her hotel room. Half the frames she had captured had been of him, either smiling at the camera or unaware as he walked beside her with a burning cigarette resting between his lips.

There was a particular one in which she had stopped without saying a word and he had kept walking a few paces before noticing she wasn't beside him anymore, and when he turned around to search for her, the shutter went off.

Her heart kicked in her chest at the memory of that one picture she had taken of him, back at the start of 2012 when the lads had just come back over to Los Angeles and she had taken them around the city, the one where he was looking back at her with the rest of the band walking in front of him.

Her throat ran a little dry as she placed her camera back down to rest on her chest and watched Alex walk back towards her.

"You've been taking so many pictures of me already, let me take yours." His voice sounded almost like a beg and her knees went a little weak.

Only because of the way he'd said that had made her feel, Ella sighed with a smile and pulled her camera back up, "Alright, I'll show you how to."

She showed him the basics around her in a simple manner and he seemed to catch it all quite quickly. After all, he had seen Matt taking pictures and had gotten ahold of the drummer's cameras throughout the years so it all came back to him when Ella had done her brief run down.

Alex listened to her instructions of having him take a few pictures of their surroundings just so he could get comfortable, and it only took two to have him nodding and reassuring he was ready to take her picture. Ella nodded with a shy smile and took two steps back to stand in front of the camera.

Truth be told, Ella had always preferred being behind the camera and not in front of the lens but it was just because she never thought she was interesting enough to be the constant subject of pictures.

Alex couldn't think of her more differently. Seeing her with a bright smile that had her eyes closing, her hands intertwined in front of her as she softly leaned her head to the side and her hair so perfectly falling over her shoulders had him thinking about how if she looked this breathtaking in front of the camera in such a normal setting, then she needed to be in front of it at all times.

That's why right after the shutter sound went off and she relaxed again, he rolled the film and took another picture without warning her.

That made her shriek and hide behind her hands, "Alex no! It's gonna look so bad!" Ella's words were muffled as her hands covered her face.

"I'm looking through the viewfinder and you look stunning, darling." He was quick to reassure her, "Now could you please drop your hands? I want to take another one." His skilled fingers rolled the film once more as he tried his best to convince her with his eyes.

That unfair look in his eyes made it so impossible to resist anything he could ever suggest. "Last one?" She made sure to ask him before giving in.

"Fine, last one." He agreed with a sigh, his stomach doing somersaults at having gotten away with it.

She slowly let her hands fall back by her sides and it wasn't until he said, "That's it. Beautiful, darling." that he took the picture as her face broke in another massive grin that made his heart skip a beat.

Ella ignored the way her tummy was fluttering as she reached out for her camera, "Alright sweets, that's enough." She wasted no time to push the lever back in its place and hook the camera strap around her neck again, the camera falling to rest on top of her chest.

"Only for now." He countered smoothly, making her scoff out a laugh.

After that they continued walking, leaving Big Ben and Parliament behind to make way to Westminster Abbey.

The massive church was breathtaking. Its structure was gothic architecture perfection inside and out, which accompanied by the stunning gardens and sculptures just made Ella be more in awe.

The gray sky tied everything together, the birds flying around and resting in the old walls and peaks, the tinted windows looking straight out of a painting.

Ella spent a full roll there, small gasps leaving her mouth every corner they turned. She had even been so entranced by the devotees kneeling on the seats and offering their prayers, unbothered by the rest of the people walking around them. Religion was a concept that fascinated her because of how much she just didn't get it like those people praying did.

Once out of that place, they walked to Buckingham Palace and it was a funny stroll since Ella couldn't stop bouncing on her feet like a little girl, asking loads of questions she could come up with about the Royal Family.

"You know," She started with a small smirk on her face, "Prince Harry is fit."

Alex cackled at the way she said it, listening to her try and incorporate British slang in her vocabulary had been endearing all weekend and he was glad she wasn't stopping it. "Oh really?"

Ella hummed eagerly, "I wonder if he'd give an American a chance."

"So you're aiming for the Royals now?" The singer inquired rhetorically with a cheeky smile.

She shrugged, smirking back at him, "Why not?"

Alex chuckled, "That's ambitious."

"Well I like to think of myself as an ambitious person."

With a nudge to her hip, he grabbed a hold of her hand so they could walk a little faster, "Alright Miss Ambitious, we're almost at your lover's place."

From afar Ella could see the palace behind the trees and she thought about the different instances a person could be allowed into the place. "I'm sure we could get in if you just said you're from the biggest British band in history."

"The Beatles are way older than me and half of them are dead so I don't think they'll believe me."

Ella snorted at how nonchalantly he'd just said that and turned her head to look at him as they kept on walking, "Oh you're being humble now."

Alex scoffed playfully, like her words had offended him, "When am I not?"

"I can list some instances." She shrugged again with a teasing smirk on her face.

His eyes narrowed at her as if challenging her to start talking, "Enlighten me then."

But all Alex was met with was silence as they finally got to the big black and gold arches and crossing the road from there was the monumental place standing there in all its glory. The Victoria Memorial was even bigger and more spectacular than she'd seen in pictures, the gold against the gloomy sky and the greenery around was leaving her breathless.

So Ella dropped Alex's hand and started snapping away, frame after frame until they walked closer to the gates of Buckingham Palace and she caught a glimpse of the beefeaters standing there like they were frozen in time and just that got her even more excited about it all.

"They look like little dolls! Oh my god, look at them!" She waved them hello so enthusiastically making Alex hold giggles back and when the guards just stood there without moving a single inch, she turned back to pout at Alex.

The shaking of his head and the "You're so painfully American," he gave her contrasted immensely against his growing smile.

"Hey!" Ella gasped and poked him in the ribs, "Don't call me out like that, I was blending in perfectly well." She joked but she was well aware she hadn't been.

"Yeah, sorry. You were, darling." Alex corrected, faking agreeing with her, "Everyone's a tourist here, so yes you were blending in perfectly well." He changed his words to tease her further and the way her jaw dropped a bit and she frowned at him made him laugh.

They were there for about twenty minutes, walking slowly and taking their time so Ella could capture the moment the best she could. She had taken a few of Alex when he wasn't noticing but at the third one she'd gotten caught, meaning she got pictures taken of her by Alex.

As they waited for some people to move around so they could get a better view from a different angle, they were playing a game that had started with Ella making funny guesses about members of the Royal Family and their hobbies, which had earned her multiple laughs from Alex as she really had no clue about anything to do with the Royals.

Eventually, when the place started getting more crowded, they decided to move onto the next place which Alex had said would be Piccadilly Circus so they could get some lunch and then continue on.

Trafalgar Square had been captured in multiple of her frames and she had finished her film roll as they walked up to the restaurant they were going to eat at. Once again Alex had helped her change her roll covering her camera with his jacket, giggling as she struggled to properly roll it as she couldn't see well what she was doing in the darkness they were making for the film to not get fucked.

Once Ella had managed to set everything up, Alex had asked her if he could have the camera for a bit and of course she said yes. The prospect of getting Alex into one of her passions had her smiling as he took pictures of a place he already knew so well and since she knew he was capturing the views for her, she took her own time to take everything in: the streets, the people, the chatter going on around her, the restlessness of the city, the smell of smoke and coffee every time they walked past a coffee shop, the memories in the making around her that she'd never get to know.

She loved it all.

Ella was so entranced by the scene and completely caught up by her thoughts that she'd missed the multiple times Alex had managed to sneak a picture of her. Only really catching him smiling proudly at her as he lowered the camera from his eyes when she had turned to point at a girl who was wearing an Arctic Monkeys shirt as she smoked outside a restaurant.

Alex chuckled, letting the camera hang around his neck and getting a hold of Ella's hand to then keep walking to the place that was not very far away from where they were then.

When they got there, Ella had been surprised by the fact that Alex had gotten a reservation for them and he had almost perfectly timed it all. They only showed up ten minutes early to their table and it wasn't a fuzz for them to wait.

He offered her a cigarette and, between chatter, they waited for their turn to come up. It had been relatively easy as they finally talked about the adventure it had been for Ella to fly over and it had ended with them hugging as Ella got a bit upset again over not being able to see their full set.

With a promise to find out when they'd be replaying their set on BBC, they went back to get seated as it finally had turned into the time they had the reservation for.

They didn't rush through their meal, enjoying every minute they could get in the lovely restaurant and talking about absolutely anything that came to their minds. And after a pouty Ella—since he hadn't let her pay for the meal—had let Alex take a picture of her with the English streets in the background, they had left the place to resume their stroll.

Their pace was slower then, Alex had suggested taking a cab to get to the next place so she didn't have to walk that much but Ella declined it saying it was alright plus she loved how they could just simply walk places around the city unlike in Los Angeles. It was only when they got to Covent Garden and walked past the underground station that she asked why they hadn't used it yet.

"This one has 193 steps to go up and down it. I was being kind not taking you through it to get here but we can take it to get to St. Paul's if you'd like."

Ella had gasped at the information, because who the fuck in their right minds would make a station have that many stairs. "193?!" She asked again and Alex nodded amused at her disbelief, "Why?"

He chuckled and shrugged, "Been asking the same question for far too many years."

"That's insane." She said under her breath as they continued walking, then remembering his suggestion, "And no, let's not do that. Can we take the bus? I've yet to get on one and I really want to be the cliché American being amazed on every type of your public transportation."

Alex's laughter reached her ears, making her grin brightly at him. "Of course we can." He assured her and Ella scrunched her nose at him for being adorable, but then he continued, "And you're being the best cliché American. Really off the charts performance, darling." making her roll her eyes in amusement.

Between teasing comments, giggles and playful nudges, it didn't take them long to get to the Apple Market and there Ella was instantly blown away by the amount of shops and market-type kiosks of trinkets, hand-made jewelry, souvenirs and art.

They took their time walking around, really ignoring the retail shops because Ella was far more interested in taking her time to look around the little stands in the middle of the place, and it was all so beautiful.

The variety of goods that were offered out for everyone was amazing, and she gasped when they made it to a stand that was offering analog cameras, leather and handmade camera straps, camera cases and lenses.

She had thought about getting one of the few medium format cameras that were there but decided against it after a good few minutes of internal debate. Alex had watched her amused the whole time and giggled when she went from staring between a Halina, a Rolleiflex and a Pentax to getting one of the leather camera cases along with a strap and bought it.

It was bad how indecisive she was because she had spent so much time in the first few shops that she felt the need to rush through her indecision which ended in her buying at least one thing from every shop she had purposely stopped by.

There was a little red bus in her bag, along with a few magnets, her new camera case and strap, a locket, a few pins, a set of coasters and the last kiosk they were looking at was full of rings, necklaces and more handmade jewelry.

Ella easily fell into conversation with the lovely old man who was the owner of the little store. She had complimented him after he told her it was him who made every piece by hand, and she took her time to look intently through it all.

A few minutes passed of her taking a closer look at the different accessories but since she couldn't make a proper choice, she turned to Alex for help.

With her lips pressed she grabbed his wrist to pull him closer and in a bit of panic, she looked up to him and asked, "Could you choose for me please?"

Alex bit his bottom lip not to chuckle at the soft frown on her face and nodded, "Anything in particular, darling?"

Ella looked back at the table, giving it a quick sweep and she found her attention mostly on the hand jewelry. "Maybe a ring?" She tried saying but it sounded more like a question, "They're all stunning." She added then in a quiet whine like it hurt her that everything was too pretty and she couldn't choose.

The singer hummed and stepped closer to the table under the gaze of the old man who had a small smile on his face seeing them two together. Alex took less than a minute, his decision being made when he found one which had a pretty green stone in the middle of the gold band of the ring. "This one." He grabbed it and it seemed to be just the right size, so grabbing her right hand in his, he slipped it on her ring finger. The sight of her Pure Desire tattoo sparking too many thoughts in his mind that he had to push aside.

Ella was breathless seeing him putting the ring on her but she fully felt like she had forgotten how to breathe when he added, "Matches your eyes." with the sweetest smile.

Her eyes didn't move from his for a few seconds that felt eternal to them, dropping to the ring and then back up at Alex to ask, "Does it?"

"Yes," He nodded, completely satisfied with his choice, "Stunning." He complimented, but he wasn't speaking about the piece of jewelry because his gaze was firm on Ella's gorgeous eyes.

She scrunched her nose at him, he was just too cute for her to handle so with rosy cheeks she turned back to the man in charge of the kiosk and deemed that being the last purchase of the day. The lovely man was smiling brightly at them and agreed with Alex when he noticed Ella's hazel green eyes.

Alex had puffed his chest out in pride of it, saying a smug "I know" to the old man and making Ella laugh as she paid. He practically had the color of her eyes permanently imprinted in his mind, he didn't ever have to think hard to remember them and how it felt to get lost in her eyes.

She left the old man with a long hug and Alex gave him a hand shake before the two moved onto the next stop which would be St. Paul's Cathedral. And just like Alex had promised her they would do, they took a bus to the church.

It had been hilarious capturing her smile with her camera as one of the red busses approached them and he had been hearing and seeing her little giddy noises and how she just couldn't really stay still in her seat.

The cathedral had been breathtaking and, again, Ella had snapped away multiple pictures as they walked around. She had been fairly wary of the lots of people worshiping their religious figures then so she tried not to take too many so the shutter going off wouldn't interrupt them.

When they left to go to the next place, they ticked off another thing off Ella's list as they rode the underground to go over to the Tower of London. The only thing she had been overly excited about was the way the stations looked because then being in the tube felt just like taking the train in New York, only cleaner.

Alex had managed to get a picture of her standing there waiting for their train to arrive, and he hoped the frame had captured the big grin that tugged at the corner of her lips making her eyes crinkle at the edges before she had hid her face behind her hands.

The Tower of London had been quite informative, at first she had walked in completely amazed by the structure and architecture of the castle so she was taking picture after picture of the inside and the greenery of the courtyards but then they started walking into the exhibitions and she had forgotten about her camera to read the signs around the rooms.

Going to see the crown jewels had been hilarious to Alex since Ella had been trying so hard to keep her cool as there were beefeaters guarding the exhibition. The White Tower had been rather concerning because of the torture chamber that was located there, and the Green Tower had been as well as it was where the execution memorial was held. And the last bit of the place they had visited was the Bloody Tower which had left Ella gasping as they found it was named that because of the murders of two princes which had been suspected to be done by their own uncle.

They talked about everything they had seen as they slowly walked out of the place and under the Tower Bridge, it was getting late and the sun seemed to be getting ready to set already. She yawned and hid it under her right hand, Alex getting a hold of her left hand and intertwining their fingers so she would walk with him at his pace.

"Where are we going?" Ella asked intrigued, they weren't going very fast but it was like he had the intent of getting somewhere on time.

"Just a bit further down here." He pointed forward with a tilt of his chin and continued walking.

Ella had no other option than to walk along him, and it had been the best day strolling around the city with him so there wasn't a bit in her that wanted to complain about a single thing.

They walked past a Starbucks and to her right she saw a little stand that sold boat tickets. They were walking right by the Thames after all so it wasn't rare to see all the people that were walking ahead of her and stopping by the railing along the short brick column.

As they walked closer to the people gathering for the view of the bridge, Ella finally saw the sculpture that stood there in a fountain and she let out a little gasp of awe.

"That's so cute! I'm gonna take a picture." She squeezed Alex's hand before slowly letting go of it and quickly turning on her camera and getting as close as she could between the people gathered there to get a good frame of the sculpture with the view of the bridge and the city behind it.

She snapped a pair and went back to Alex, excusing herself as she made her way through the people in the way.

"Are we not staying here?" She inquired when Alex grabbed her hand again and pulled her along with him, seeing as everyone seemed to stand next to the fountain to watch the sun go down.

Alex shook his head, "There's a few benches over there and way less people, so we can sit and watch the sunset quietly and alone."

Ella intertwined their fingers properly again with a grin and let him guide her to where he was referring to. It wasn't longer than another minute when they saw a lonely bench by a tree which had the perfect view of the bridge without it being spoiled by the people standing at the railing.

They sat down and sighed in relief, their backs and their feet aching after the long day, yet their smiles were stuck on their faces as they moved closer to each other and Ella let her head fall on his shoulder.

Alex left a kiss on her head before resting his head over hers, making Ella snuggle closer to him and inhaling deep in comfort.

"Thank you." Her voice was low and soft, with the echoes of the people chattering around them, he almost missed it.

His head turned slightly to be able to glance down at her, "What for?"

Ella kept her gaze on the city, being slowly bathed in orange and pink hues as the sun fell to bed down the horizon. "For today. It was lovely and you're the best tourist guide ever."

The last bit held such playfulness that earned her a snort from him, "I'm glad you liked it, darling." And Alex truly meant it, closing his eyes and relishing in the feeling of having her close to him.

"Absolutely loved it, sweetness." Her hand went to grab his—they had let go when they got comfortable on the bench—, intertwining their fingers and rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. "You know if the rockstar gig doesn't work you can just take people around the city and make them pay you for your charm." He felt her move her head a bit and when he looked down at her, she had her eyes set on his face with a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Alex lifted his head to match her smirk and played along, "Charming am I?"

"You know you are." Ella rolled her eyes as if it annoyed her telling him the truth so she added, "Don't let it get to your head, it's already too big as it is."

The singer scoffed, straightening his back so he put a small distance between them, "Oh wow, thanks."

The American girl let out a small "Nooo," and hooked her arm through his to bring him back into her side. "I'm joking, I'm joking."

He hummed doubtfully but let her pull him closer. "You better be because you've got a bigger head than mine." He quipped back at her, making her gasp.

It was her turn to put some distance between them as she pulled herself off him with an offended frown, "Excuse me?"

But Alex looked at her completely disregarding her expression and teased her by saying, "Mhm, you're excused."

Ella gasped, "You're such a little shit." and poked him in the ribs, cackling when he jumped and let out a little yelp. She was so glad she got him back beside her after a whole month, "I missed you so much."

"Missed you more darling." He reciprocated, snaking his arm around her waist to pull her into his side. "We should go watch a film soon, I know it won't be the same but we haven't gone to the cinema together in far too long and I miss going to Los Feliz with you."

A bright grin broke out on her face, thinking back to the times they had been able to go to Los Feliz together. "Isn't it amazing? I'm so glad I got you obsessed with it too."

And without really thinking it through, Alex admitted something that had been making rounds in his mind for a while, "Making me consider moving to LA, you."

She rolled her eyes playfully, shaking her head looking at the view in front of them, "Yeah sure."

But, staring right at her and pinching her side so she'd look at him, he promised, "Swear down."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she chatted back, "Don't believe you, Turner."

His right hand came to clutch his chest like her lack of trust hurt his heart, "Rude. I thought you loved me and I was your best friend."

Her gaze stayed on his, unwavering and trying to gather her thoughts so she could answer but the only thing she came down to say was, "Touché."

She scooted back close to his side and rested her head on his shoulder, his fingers that were holding her waist had started rubbing circles on it over the fabric of her shirt. Ella was glad she had been able to control the shivers his touch gave her and took a deep breath as they watched the gorgeous sights in front of them.

The sky was turning lilac then and the dying sun was painting the cloud a beautiful pink and orange. It was breathtaking seeing the city coated by the colors, it was truly out of a painting and it somehow got even more beautiful as the minutes went by, the shades growing more intense and the urge of capturing it bubbled in her chest.

"This is stunning." Her words were breathless as she turned on her camera, trying to remember if it was four or five frames she had left in her current roll but only shooting three just to not mess up any of her previous pictures on the roll.

Alex watched her focusing as she watched the landscape through the viewfinder, her eye squinted and her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"Can I get a picture of you?" He asked as soon as she brought her device back down to rest on her chest.

Ella hesitated for a second but before she could agree, she remembered the lack of proper lighting, "The flash is gonna ruin the sunset and if I don't use it, it will look too dark."

He thought of it only for a second, knowing she knew more about it than him but came to a different solution, "With my phone then."

She hummed like she was considering it, but her decision was taking longer than what he wanted so he bumped his head against hers softly and said, "C'mon darling."

When Ella turned to see him, Alex was grinning at her like he knew she was going to fold and she rolled her eyes when she finally agreed, "Okay just a quick one." She turned off her camera before she could move, purposely taking longer to do that.

Switching seats so he could take the picture properly, and taking her camera from her, Alex pulled up his camera on his phone and turned the flash on. "How does Bre get you to let her take your picture?" He wondered out loud as Ella shied behind her hands and took a few deep breaths.

Letting her hands drop, she shrugged and smiled, "Because it's Bre."

But before he could snap the moment away, Alex rolled his eyes and said, "Right, I forgot you're secretly in love with her still."

"Oh shut up." She hit his knee with hers, truly meaning it when she replied, "She's my best friend."

With that he smugly raised his phone back up, and with a, "And so am I, so smile for me darling." he waited for her to give him a big smile to take the picture.

He lowered his phone as he went to his camera roll to see how it had turned out, "That look alright?" Ella asked shyly, trying to see the product as he was grinning like an idiot at his screen.

Alex nodded intently, "Yes, I love it." And he wasn't lying, her eyes had closed from how big she had smiled, her cheeks rosy almost as much as the pink in the sky and once again he was brought back to that day they spent together in the west coast when he couldn't even begin to appreciate the sunset behind her as he drove because she looked so beautiful.

She demanded softly with a tug of his wrist, "Show it to me." And when she saw herself on his screen, she felt her cheeks heat up, "I look so..."

"Pretty?" He quickly finished the sentence for her.

But she shook her head, putting that to the side for the moment for her own good, "Blushy. My cheeks match the damn sky."

"You always are darling." He confirmed to her, "Don't think there's been many instances since 2011 when I've seen you and you've not been blushing."

She was properly embarrassed then, thinking about how dumb it was for her to always be blushing and for him to have noticed every time for the past two years, "Okay don't call me out now."

"Anyway, you look beautiful." The singer came back to see the picture once more and smiled to himself, "I'll send it to you now."

Her phone pinged with a notification of his text then and unlocking it to see it now on her screen, she sat comfortably again, shoulder to shoulder with him. "Thanks sweets."

His arm came around her shoulder and brought her into him, "You're welcome darling."

The minutes kept passing by and with it the sun lowered even more until it was completely gone and the sky went from orange, pink and lilac to a deep blue pierced by many stars which glistened as much as the lights of the city did.

Exhaustion was catching up to them, her eyes were closing and she was struggling to keep them open. Alex noticed when her hand started falling slowly from the top of her thigh where it was resting to the space between their legs.

So, softly getting a hold of her hand, he played with her fingers and asked in a low voice, "Should we head back to the hotel darling?"

Ella groaned but nodded, really wanting to get in bed and rest now. "Please?"

He pouted at her tired expression and slowly stood up after giving her a little squeeze, "'Course. Let's go."

Alex extended his hand out to her and she accepted it, letting him pull her up. "Thank you." She stumbled a bit, bumping into his chest where she rested her hand so she could stabilize herself.

He took advantage of how close he had her so he left a kiss on her temple and mumbled, "You're welcome." against it.

Turning around to leave, Alex grabbed her hand but she only moved an inch before she called out a "Wait." that he had barely managed to hear with the rumble of the city in the background.

"What's wrong?" He turned back to her with a small frown, he had her camera hanging from his neck and she had her bag hanging off her shoulder so he wasn't sure if there was anything she'd forgotten.

The bench was empty which confirmed she wasn't forgetting a thing but her frown softened up when she continued with a "Nothing just– c'mere," And she dropped his hand to open her arms up for him to walk into.

He of course obliged, taking a big stride her way and clutching her tight, her arms wrapped over his shoulders and his around her waist. She giggled when she felt her camera in the way of their chests pressing together, making for a rather awkward position but it was a hug from him so it was everything but. They swayed a bit in the embrace and he heard her say, "Love you Al, thank you for today." in his ear.

Filling up with warmth, the biggest smile showed on his face and he didn't waste another second to reciprocate, "Love you too Ellie." Kissing her cheek first, he pulled back to look into her eyes and make her understand that, "There's no need to thank me, darling. It was my absolute pleasure."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Personally, my heart burst writing this, and rereading it made me tear up. Wheels and Curly being here along with the rest of t1975, Alex and Ella reuniting, and then being absolutely adorable makes me wanna cry. Once again, a million thank yous to @imagine-that-100 for being wonderful and allowing me to have them here and expanding the multiverse a bit more, and I hope y'all enjoyed catching a glimpse of them in an alternate timeline because I certainly did fucking adore writing them in. If you haven’t read @nriacc yet, what are you waiting for? Anyway, I'm wondering now if you have any predictions about what's gonna happen in this trip, I would love to see what those predictions are and if there's anything you want to happen hehehe. Thank you so much for reading! See you in two weeks with the next!! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @red---moon @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette

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nriacc · 3 years

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Dance Little Liar | NRIACC: Part 8 |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Plot by @imagine-that-100 and @ghostlightqueen

Written by @ghostlightqueen and @imagine-that-100

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 13.3k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Okay so this is a fun part. Strap in, the rollercoaster is well and truly beginning x

You’re sitting on Matt’s settee, next to Alex as you typically are, half listening to the lads talk about their upcoming tour. You’re beaming with pride, your closest and oldest friends had come so far and showed no signs of slowing down.

They’d been discussing setlists for a while and came to the decision to take a little break. Matt just got up and offered to grab everyone a drink.

Alex is looking over the couple of alternate sets they’d all come up with. Nick and Jamie have both popped out to the garden for a smoke so with Matt gone as well, you lightly punched Alex’s shoulder.

“Hm?” He hums and looks over at you.

“I’m so proud of you guys, Al.” You grin at him.

He grins back, “Thanks, Y/N/N. You listened to this one yet?”

“New album?” You ask him and he nods.

“Yeah, ‘course. Soon as I got it.”

You’d forgotten you were in Manchester when it had been released, so you hadn’t gotten to tell him your thoughts, since you were busy with Adam and his friends over Easter - and Alex was busy until you headed back to Manchester for the summer.

You and Alex really hadn’t seen much of each other this year, apart from your birthday and the few days you were back from Manchester. But it was understandable, the band was doing phenomenal and you were focusing on your other friendships and general life things.

Not to say you didn’t miss the hell out of Alex, Matt, Nick, and Jamie, or drinking in the park, or Matt’s house parties. Because you really did.

But you’re brought out of your thoughts when Alex lightly pinches your thigh with a mischievous smirk.

“‘Ey, what?” You hiss at him slightly.

His smirk makes you feel a little nervous after flirting with him over the last half of your summer away. You’re not too sure if it was going to continue in person, but with the way he’s looking at you now, it makes you think it’s going to. And you actually want it to continue.

“What’s your favorite track?” He asks, and the amused grin on his face clearly tells you that he’d asked you the question already but you were too caught up in your thoughts to hear it.

“That, as usual, is a very difficult question, Shakespeare.” You chuckle back.

You shift in your seat, now resting your legs in his lap and leaning a bit closer to him with a slight smirk. His hands run up and down your thighs as he waits for your answer.

“Did Matt get lost?” You chuckle, wanting to change the subject.

“Matt!” You call toward the kitchen.

No response.

Certainly feels like a bit of a set up the more you think about it. The rest of the boys should be back in here by now.

“What’s your favourite?” Alex repeats his question.

You know what he wants you to say.

“Hm,” You think and try to remember all the other tracks on the album, but Only Ones Who Know is cemented in your mind.

505 pops in your head as well and you let out a sigh inside your brain.

Literally any other song aside from those ones, come on.

Balaclava was the next track that comes to mind, you’re fairly sure that one has nothing to do with you.

“Balaclava," You answer and Alex is a bit taken aback, he looks at you in confusion for a minute.

“What?” He laughs in disbelief.

“I don’t know,” You laugh back, “You guys just sound like you had the most fun on that.”

That isn’t necessarily a lie, but it being your favourite on the album is.

“I like the bass in it.” You shrug.

That, again, isn't a lie.

“You like the...” Alex chuckles, baffled, he shakes his head. “I didn’t expect that one.”

You tease him straight back, baiting him to say what he wanted you to, “What did you expect?”

“Don’t really know, I guess,” He shrugs and looks down as he starts to trace shapes on your thighs.

Maybe he just hadn’t been obvious enough that the songs were about you. Alex knows he’d tried to be discrete on their first record, but with this he hoped you’d catch on.

Alex is brought out of his thoughts when Matt comes back through and he quickly takes his hands off your legs.

“Took you long enough,” You chuckle as Matt passes you the drink you’d requested.

Matt dismisses your teasing as Nick and Jamie also come back in. They hop back into discussing their setlist again.

“When’s this one start?” You ask about their UK tour.

“Couple weeks," Nick answers you and you nod.

Matt asks with a teasing grin, “You gonna miss us, Y/N/N?”

“Yeah.” You grin, adding “Obviously.” as you roll your eyes.

“Why don’t you come with us?” Alex asks, rather impulsively.

“And do what?” You chuckle.

“Ah, just have fun.” He grins at you. “Live a little,”

“I’m sure Alex wouldn’t mind sharing his bunk with you,” Matt smirks and that prompts Alex to crumble up one of the setlists they’d decided against and chuck it at his friend’s head.

Matt dodges it as he laughs. You laugh a bit as well.

“If you guys really don’t mind, I’d love to come.” You smile.

“Ah, we’d love to have you around again, Y/N.” Jamie smiles at you.

Matt truly can’t help himself when it comes to teasing Alex about you. “Al especially,”

“Would you...” Alex begins and attempts to kick Matt in his shins.

Matt laughs and moves his legs just out of Alex’s reach. You look at the time, starting to feel tired from everything you’d done today.

From getting your new ferris wheel tattoo on your left ankle this morning, to having dinner with the whole family, saying goodbye, and coming back home, you’re just drained.

“Well, much as I love you all, I think I’m gonna head home and to bed, I’m exhausted.” You announce as you stand up.

When you got back from Manchester, you were only at home long enough to drop your bags off before you headed over to Matt’s. You’d missed them too much to be apart for any longer.

“I think I’m gonna head out too.” Alex announces. Matt raises an eyebrow as he looks at you two.

“Discrete isn’t really your style is it, mate?” He asks.

“Matt, I swear to god,” Alex looks over at him, Matt just silently laughs and takes a sip of his beer.

“Ah, he’s right though,” You giggle as you gently pat Alex on the cheek. You proceed to tease him a bit, “You gonna walk me home, Turner?”

Something about being back was different this time. Maybe being specifically in Matt’s house, the same house you and Alex had kissed in so much, made your feelings for him bubble back to the surface.

Yeah, you definitely want the flirting to continue.

Your face heats up as you remember almost everyone staring at you two as Alex led you up to Matt’s room the night after, all those years back. You smile though, if you had to pick which one of the fools you missed the most, it’s always going to be Alex.

“Yeah,” He answers your question and you smile at him, he grins at you a bit. No doubt remembering what exactly happened the last time he walked you home. “I’ll walk you home, Y/N/N.”

You two head out, hands brushing against the others’ as you walk down the road toward your house. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable but you and Alex both had a tendency to go quiet if you were nervous. A fact you both knew about each other, which made the silence interesting.

“You rem-” You both start the same question and laugh together.

“You go.” He smiles at you.

“You remember that spin the bottle game?” You ask curiously.

“The one that made you want to murder Josh?” He chuckles and then nods, “Yeah.” You two slow as you reach your house, Alex looks over at your face, his usual goofy grin spread over his lips.

You nervously ask, “What?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, still grinning.

“Nothing, with that grin of yours... Okay, sure.” You laugh, before prying, “What’s on your mind, Al?”

The way he was looking at you made you want to hold your breath. It reminded you of how he looked at you the night of Matt’s party, before you went up to Matt’s bedroom. Needless to say, if your Mum wasn’t due home within the next hour you’d invite him in and up to your room again.

“Remember the night before the party?” He asks in a whisper as he gently grabs your hips.

“Yeah.” You smile taking a small step closer before teasing, “You know sometimes I swear there’s still bruises on my boobs from you.”

Alex laughs at that a little but your heart thuds a little quicker when he says, “You’ve not let me be lucky enough to make anymore.”

God, you definitely want to bring him back up to your room.

You raise your eyebrows a little and point out, “You never let on that you wanted to make any more.”

Seeing a small amused smile come to your best friend's lips, he asks, “Were the hints not good enough?”

Truthfully, other than the short kiss you shared on your birthday; you had no idea Alex had any further interest in you. Yeah, the texts were a little flirty, but you didn’t expect him to put all his cards on the table for you to see like he is doing now.

“You could just ask.” You say as you look into his brown eyes.

You can tell that there’s intent behind all his words, but you can see from the way he reacts to what you just said that he didn’t expect you to be as confident in encouraging his advances.

His eyes never leave yours as he smirks, “And you’d say yes, would you?”

The way his hands have a tight grip on your hips make you want to lean up and kiss him here and now. But the tension is too much fun and feels too good to break yet.

“Why don’t you find out?” You encourage him, wanting him to make the first move.

“Could make some right now?” Alex offers with a grin playing on those lips of his. The way he’s looking at you makes your stomach flip, and you almost feel breathless when he asks, “We have time, don’t we?”

“Not a lot, but enough.” You nod, entirely down for something quick if he is.

Your best friend grins, “Should have left them earlier, shouldn’t we?”

You’re nodding with a smirk dying to make its way onto your lips, and it seems that the both of you have the same idea to head towards your front door as you take a step back and Alex steps forward. Your heart is already thudding at the thoughts of having him in your bed again and you think he’s leaning down to kiss you until someone ruins the moment.

A car door shutting makes you two jump a bit, resulting in Alex's hands falling from your hips and him taking a step away. Turning to see where it came from, you see your Mum getting out of her car and when she turns to get the shopping from the boot, she sees the two of you.

“Oh hello, Alex!” Your Mum greets him cheerily.

“Hi, Y/M/N.” Alex smiles as he greets her, but you can tell he’s a little gutted just like you are.

“How are you?” She asks as she walks over to the two of you, “It’s been a while since we’ve seen your face around here.”

“I’m good, thank you.” He nods politely, giving her a warm smile.

You don’t quite know how he’s managing to talk to her because you want to throttle her for being a cockblock. You’re fuming.

“That’s wonderful, your Mum was telling me your band has been quite a hit.” She says and Alex nods again.

You want to roll your eyes. She knew they headlined Glastonbury; it was quite obvious that they were doing well for themselves.

“Yeah, it’s going good,” Alex smiles at her before looking back towards you.

Alex knows about your ever-distancing relationship with your Mum, so he no doubt feels a little awkward in the conversation despite him knowing her for years.

As your Mum quickly puts the shopping bags into the house, you ask your best friend and quietly ask, “Do you have a free house?”

Hearing that makes Alex smile, but he bites his lip to stop himself from letting it get too big. Knowing that you want him again makes him want to kiss you here and now, but he stops himself because he knows your Mum will ruin it. Instead, Alex just shakes his head to answer your question, but he leans down to whisper, “Next time, Angel.”

Alex likes seeing the way you get a little flustered at his promise, and it’s even better when you can’t say anything back because your Mum comes back outside to lock her car and ask him another question about the band.

“Well, uh,” You chuckle before your Mum can ask Alex anything else, “Thanks for walking me home, Al.”

“Yeah.” He smiles at you. “Anytime, Y/N/N.”

“Well, we hope to see you more often.” Your Mum tells him.

“Thanks. I’ll try and come by more.” Alex says and then grins at you slyly. “See you later.”

“See you soon, Al.” You nod, trying not to let a grin tug your lips up.

As Alex continues up the road towards his house, you stay outside watching him as he heads off. You have no idea why, if asked you’d say because your Mum was still standing there, but little did you know she was observing the way you were looking towards Alex.

But before long, you feel your Mum’s eyes on you, so you glance away from Alex and over at her. She's smiling at you.

“What?” You question with a little smile.

She seemed to be in a good mood this evening, and that was always a bonus.

“Oh, nothing.” She chuckles as she heads inside.

“Everyone and their ‘nothing’s.” You mutter as you follow her.

~*~*~*~ November 6th 2007 ~*~*~*~

You’d been on tour with the lads for a little over three weeks now, and things had been fun. You were certainly happy to be spending so much time with some of your favourite people again.

Things with Alex were... different.

In a good way though. You two were over anything sour that had happened in the past and were just enjoying each other’s company. The two of you weren’t discrete about it either, Alex always seemed to have his hands on you in some way.

If you two were sitting on the settee, then your legs were in his lap and his fingers were tracing shapes on your thighs. More often than not before and after shows, on the walk to and from the bus, Alex would hold your hand or wind up carrying you on his back back to the bus, or into whatever venue the lads were playing at.

The bunk you had claimed as yours was empty every night as you typically ended up sleeping in Alex’s with him, the two of you cuddled close to each other in the confined space. With anyone else, it would’ve been claustrophobic, but with Alex it felt nothing but content.

Mornings you were often awoken with a few soft kisses to the crown of your head and then to your forehead. A couple of days over the tour, the lads would be gone for interviews but Alex seemed to make it a point to kiss you before he left as you decided to just hang out in the bus while they did their thing. You needed at least some time to try and do some of your assignments for your Masters.

Today is one of the days when they all had to go out for an interview and Alex is reluctant to leave. The others are all annoyed, waiting at the door as he kisses you once more, probably for the fifth or sixth time since he said he was going.

You both laugh as Matt shouts, “Fuck’s sake, Al, she’ll still be here when we’re done. Come on!”

He kisses you once more, making your three other friends groan and roll their eyes but he leaves with them shortly after. You find that your heart flutters long after he’s gone though, and starts again when you get the text from him saying that they are on their way back.

You busied yourself on the days that they were off for interviews, either doing uni work, or just doodling or reading. You did need to start putting uni first a little more, but the pull you felt to be near Alex when he was around made you forget all about those responsibilities.

However, today was a day where they had an interview then had to go straight in for soundcheck before the gig, so you were set up on the couch keeping an eye out the window so you could pop in and listen to soundcheck. You’d heard all of them, but you weren’t tired of listening to the band set up. It was interesting to hear things before everything was properly set up and then listen to them talk things over with the sound guys.

By the time a couple of hours had passed, they had all returned. You slipped your shoes on before joining them, and Alex hung back from the rest of the lads to wait for you.

“Hey, Angel,” He grins as you walk over to him. He puts his arm around your shoulders and kisses the side of your head.

“Hey, Shakespeare,” You grin back at him, “How was it?”

“Ah, the same twenty questions everyone else has asked.” He mutters and you chuckle as you two begin to walk towards the venue. “Lads wanna go out after the show tonight.”

“That sounds fun.” You nod, enjoying the feeling of his thumb caressing the side of your hand.

“Hm,” Alex hums and smiles at you before suggesting, “Was thinking maybe you and I could stay in instead?”

“Oh?” You laugh as you raise your eyebrows at him, “And what do you have planned for us while we stay in?”

“Maybe... watch a film.” He stated, “Little bit of us time.”

“Mhm.” You hum trying to suppress your smile.

You and Alex had all but started dating since that day at Matt’s, or it certainly felt like you two were. The words hadn’t been spoken but with how he was acting with you - between the kisses and small touches here and there, sharing his bunk - you didn’t know what else to call it besides dating.

Especially considering sharing his bunk wasn’t as innocent as the both of you were making it out to be.

Maybe you’d ask for confirmation tonight, or just wait until Alex brought it up. Either way, you were enjoying yourself and were happy to have some time just to yourself and Alex.

“If you know what I mean.” He smirks at you, making your heart rate pick back up again.

“Oh, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what you mean.” You giggle.

The late-night antics in his bunk weren’t all that innocent. You’ve both gone past make out sessions and light dry humping at this point. Before you both came on this tour that was all you’d done as you both seemingly wanted to draw the tension between you out, but the confined proximity of staying on their tour bus with them has made things more intense.

The things Alex would whisper in your ear and tell you what he wanted to do to you when you were both alone and in private made you want him even more. Some of the things he’s told you were filthy, yet you wanted every single second of what he’d describe to you. You want this tour to be over and done with so you can go home, and he can have his way with you in private.

Each make out session has progressed a little further, and the nights after his gigs last week were the closest you two had come to shagging again since that night years ago. Hands roamed everywhere, feeling how both of your bodies had changed over the years and you loved every second of it.

But two nights ago, it went further.

It was the dead of night and you knew everyone was asleep because it was well past 3am and you and your best friend had been talking innocently until then. He was one of a few people in your life you could chat to for hours on end and never get bored but then when the both of you ended up kissing, you both got carried away.

Both of you were fully getting off with each other to the point where you both wanted more, and you got it. Alex’s hand found its way into your pyjama shorts where he ended up fingering you until you came hard.

When he started, you had to hide yourself into his neck to stop yourself from making any of the noises you desperately wanted to release. Your skin was hot and sweaty as his fingers moved and curled inside you and by the time, he had you finishing on his fingers, you had to bite down on his shoulder to stop from moaning loudly.

After you regained your ability to do anything more than clutch your best friend, you knew when you watched him taste you on his fingers that you had to get him off too. You didn’t feel obliged to, you just really wanted to, so you gave your best friend a handjob until he came, and you had to kiss him to shut him up.

You didn’t intend for it to go that far, but you were thankful it did. The release of the weeks of tension made it so good, you just wish you could have had the freedom to make the noise you wanted to though. But after that night you told Alex that it couldn’t go any further, primarily because you weren’t about to shag him with the majority of your friends in such close proximity.

“A night in sounds excellent.” You grin and kiss him as you two pause at the stage door.

Alex grins and kisses you back, and you like the way he grips your hips, feeling like you were meant to be in his arms like that. You had a feeling that the kiss held a much deeper meaning other than the common ‘good luck for your soundcheck’ one that it was meant to be.

There was a mutual understanding behind this one.

A silent ‘I can’t wait.’

And before the others shout at you, ruining the moment once again, you and Alex share another knowing look as you two head inside. A look that holds exactly the same message. You’re excited that you won't have to be quiet tonight.

Soundcheck and the show itself goes by quickly. You linger just off stage, tired from spending most other shows in the crowd. Alex would grin over at you periodically, mostly during the songs about you, or during ones he knew you really enjoyed.

You thought by now that you’d be used to the look he gives when he sings 505 or Only Ones Who Know. The latter seems to make you blush the most; Alex always lean in close to the microphone, his eyes lingering on you periodically but also making sure to scan the crowd so no one catches on.

The few weeks you’d been away, you’d heard people talk about the song, a lot of them saying it was bittersweet and maybe they were right. But you were one of those only people who knew what he was talking about in the song, so maybe you didn’t see the bittersweet that everyone else did.

You’re brought out of your thoughts when Alex sends an air kiss your way, which makes you laugh.

The lights go down and the lads return backstage. You smile as Alex wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you sweetly, your breath catching as your lips meet once again.

The sudden action makes you giggle against his lips though, and you don't hesitate to kiss him back. You two part and smile at each other, the look once again clear as day.

Neither of you could wait to get back on that bus alone.

You really don’t know how these feelings had crept up on you so suddenly. Well, in theory, it wasn’t that suddenly.

Alex had been round at your house quite a lot before the tour began in mid October and you got closer and closer as time went on. The flirting progressed into what it was now, and you guessed a connection of some sort must have still been there since you first looked at each other in the way that you were doing now.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have kissed you on your birthday, nor would he have been flirting with you over the summer, or falling into whatever this dynamic was. There was always that pull between you. Ever since the day you first slept together.

“Y/N/N, you coming out with us?” Matt asks as you all head back towards the bus.

“Not up for it tonight. Thanks for the invite, though.” You tell him as you give the others a smile, “You guys have fun.”

“I’ll stay in with you, Y/N.” Alex grins at you, even though you both already knew this was the plan.

It made Jamie, Nick, Matt, and Miles laugh out loud though. It was so loud that it even drew some attention from some crew members which you wanted to scold the lads for.

“You guys should really work on being more subtle.” Jamie tells you two.

You really try your best not to let it fluster you, because no matter what happens tonight you wouldn’t be telling them anything. They could theorise all they wanted, but you wouldn’t be telling them shit.

But when Matt jokes, “Just don’t do it on the couch, yeah?” you just want to hide yourself in Alex and never escape his embrace.

“Maybe put a towel down if you do.” Miles quickly adds and the lads, aside from Alex, all laugh.

“Right, leave us to it then.” Alex laughs, brushing them off with a shake of his head.

He also shoves Miles playfully, seeing as he was the closest to you two. As you say your goodbyes to your mates, who were in search of a pub, you feel your heart start beating faster due to the anticipation of finally being alone with your best friend that you fancy to death.

You both take your time walking back to the bus, hand in hand, not wanting to raise suspicions from anyone else who might be around. As you do though, you feel nervous and excited all at the same time.

You definitely want this, and the fact you know performing gets Alex into that sort of giddy turned on state anyway means that you're really excited for what was to come. After all, you can’t deny that seeing him on stage wasn’t just as hot.

Alex’s hands and lips are on you as soon as the bus door shuts behind you. You can’t help but let out a soft laugh as he seems frantic about it, the buzz obviously getting to him too.

“Al, calm down,” You chuckle as you pull away a bit, “We’ve got time.”

“Been years though, hasn’t it, Angel?” Alex asks as his lips return to your neck, “Forgive me if I don’t have any patience left.”

“Alex.” You laugh a bit, tangling your hands in his hair and giving it a gentle tug.

Alex lets out a low hum against your neck and holy fuck, you love that feeling.

He was right, it had been years since you two had actually slept together, and clearly getting seconds away from it over the past few weeks had worn away any patience the man had left. It had worn yours away as well.

Alex pulls away from your neck and kisses you hard, forcing you to kiss him back with just as much enthusiasm, and his arms go around your waist as yours go around his shoulders. He begins to walk you back towards the bunks, but you two don’t quite make it there. Instead, the both of you fall back onto the couch.

Alex makes quick work of both of your tops and like he had before, he makes sure to leave marks on your chest, which you find just as pleasurable as the first time he’d done it. When he returns to kiss your lips once more, you decide you want to give him some back.

If he could claim you as his own by leaving an abundance of love bites behind on your skin, you sure as hell wanted to do the same. You slowly kiss down his jaw to his neck and take great pleasure out of the noises he was making. However, when you gently begin to suck on the flesh just above his jugular, he stops you.

But he pulls away quickly with a sudden breath of, “Don’t.”

“What?” You ask in confusion as you prop yourself up a bit on your elbows.

Alex is hovering over you, looking like he’s just been caught doing something bad, but you’re just confused and waiting for an explanation or an okay to continue.

“Just…” He trails off, but then says, “Not in the mood to have the lads give me shit for it.”

You can understand that completely.

“Okay.” You chuckle, giving a little tug on his hair again to pull his lips back down to yours,

Alex kisses you again and things pick up as quickly as they had the first time. Your bra hits the floor next and he admires your body, calling you, “Beautiful” once again. You really can’t help but laugh when Alex’s lips descend down to your chest again, as a combination of his breath and hair tickles you.

“What?” Alex chuckles as he looks up at you lovingly.

“Nothing,” You shake your head, a massive smile on your lips as you say, “Let’s go to your bunk though, don’t really wanna get interrupted.”

Alex nods in agreement and you two move quickly back to Alex’s bunk. You had just enough room to straddle your best friend when he got into the bunk, so that’s what you did. And you enjoy letting his hands explore your hot skin as you make each other breathless all over again.

Alex coaxes moans out of you when his hips buck up into yours, as both of your jeans create a pleasurable friction. But the groans that Alex lets out for you when you grind your hips down into his, turns you on more than you let on. Well, the noises he’s making, and the fact that his clothed erection is pressing against you.

Your best friend can’t seem to take much more of your teasing though, as Alex flips the two of you over, trapping you beneath him this time. It was very much like the first time you two had done this, except for the added years of experience with other people now meant you each knew what you liked a little more.

“Jeans.” Alex mutters, and you get what he means. You push your jeans down and decide to take your underwear with them.

Alex kisses you passionately again, and you can feel the electric energy between you when his hands start to wander down your body. The hum of satisfaction you release against Alex’s lips when he gently trails his hand down your body, seems to be enough encouragement to progress things even further.

As soon as his hand travels between your legs, you can’t quieten the loud moan that escapes your lips. Alex finds your clit instantly and he teases you with those circular motions until you’re releasing soft sounds against his lips, and when he adds a little more pressure, the way you tug on his hair causes Alex to moan.

The settee definitely would’ve allowed for more freedom of movement, but you aren’t mad about the fact you two have to be as close as possible to not fall out of the bunk. Alex kisses down your jaw and starts to leave marks along your neck and chest again as he proceeds to work his fingers in and out of you.

You can feel the familiar build-up of pressure in your lower stomach. But you think the fact you’d been putting the intimacy off between you for the last few months just makes you all the more desperate for him. It still all feels new, as if the other night didn’t happen and this was the first time either of you were getting any relief.

“Al, please.” You breathe as you feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm.

You need this. You need him.

Feelings like the ones you currently harbour for Alex hadn’t been felt since you first started going out with Peter. But these feel more intense after being let down by Peter so badly for the last year of your relationship.

The feelings for Matty had been different. You promised each other to not get attached and even though you planned to stick to that, the lines between friendship and relationship had definitely started to get confused as the end of summer grew closer.

Since you first slept with Alex though, you’d wanted a relationship with him. The build-up over that summer all those years ago had the possibility to blossom into such a good relationship, and you feel like this is your second chance at it.

A chance that you both seem to really want to take and make it work. You want your Alex in the way you’d had him over the past few months, all the time.

You let out a soft whine as Alex pulls his hand away from between your legs, obviously wanting to prolong your pleasure and achieve your highs at the same time. Alex kisses your lips again and you reach down to undo his jeans, but as he’s not quite as nimble as you, Alex has to hop out of his bunk to take them off properly.

You really can’t help but let out a soft giggle as what you were doing was sinking in. About to have sex in a bunk bed on a tour bus - you were living every girl’s fantasy who had a crush on someone in the music industry. It feels like the most natural thing in the world with your best friend though.

Alex is back within seconds and returns to kneel between your legs. But as he hovers above you, you watch as his brown eyes take in your body once again.

Your heart flutters fast in your chest when he smiles, “Beautiful as ever, Angel.”

Your chest feels like it’s about to burst at that comment as he now reaches into one of the mesh pockets on the wall of his bunk. You roll your eyes, trying to play the comment off naturally, but smile back and pull him down into a kiss, not caring that you’re just making it harder for him to find what he was digging for.

Alex laughs a little against your lips, before his tongue meets your own again, savouring the bliss it provides you both. Despite that though, he pulls out a condom from the mesh pocket and gets it on himself quickly.

Your best friend asks you reassuringly if you want to continue, and when you nod that you do, feeling as comfortable as ever as it was with him, Alex kisses you softly once again. It settles every nerve you have, and you want him so desperately. It dawns on you just how much you like him.

God, you really, really like him.

He grunts when he sinks into you initially, and the sound frankly catches you off guard. You were used to the way Matty would moan after the summer you’d spent with him. But Matty wasn’t who you should be thinking of now.

Alex pulls away from your kiss, taking your bottom lip with him for a moment how he knows you like. It causes you to whimper for him, now there is an overwhelming sense of pleasure filling your body.

Your pleasured moans just increase Alex’s desire, as after the first few thrusts, and reassuring kisses, Alex sets a quick pace with a groan of, “Fuck” falling from his lips.

You can’t remember if you two were this loud the first time, but you certainly don’t mind the noise. If anything, it brings you more satisfaction, knowing that you were the cause of those sounds rising up from Alex’s chest and falling from his lips.

Finding the pleasure building in your body almost too much, you find yourself needing to dig your nails into your best friend’s skin almost to ground you to him. But, like before when you tried to mark his neck up, you find that Alex removes your hand from him and back down to the bed so your grip tightens on the sheets instead.

You think nothing of it though, as a second later, Alex brings his hand up to the end of the bunk to brace himself against it as he buries his hips into yours time and time again. His other is keeping him hovering over you, and you both try to kiss each other as much as possible. But at this point you’re just finding everything too much as you’re moaning into the other’s mouths.

Everything about this feels amazing. It’s hard, fast, and hot, and it works you up perfectly. You can feel that familiar ache spreading through your lower stomach as Alex fucks into you over and over. Unable to hold it, you gasp when Alex’s hand goes back down between your legs, starting to play with your clit again.

It seems that Alex is closer to his climax than you are because you can almost feel him holding himself together, stopping him from finishing yet. Your best friend applies more pressure to your clit which definitely builds your orgasm faster and when he switches from kissing your lips to your neck, you know you’re almost there.

Tomorrow you’ll find that you’re only left with love bites on your chest, where no one would see. You really didn’t mind that though, as they were a bitch to cover the first time.

Alex orgasms just before you this time around and whilst it causes his hips to falter when colliding with yours. However, his fingers continue to work on your clit as he moans into your mouth, loving the feeling of you wrapped around him and pulling on his hair. He has you finding your release a few seconds later, and he takes great satisfaction in feeling your legs shaking around his own, before clamping around him when the pleasure overcomes your body.

You two part, only enough so he can rest his forehead against yours, silently catching your breaths. Whilst the bliss slowly subsides, Alex and you just silently maintain eye contact for a few minutes, both your hands are now in his hair, playing with it like you usually find yourself doing most days in a far more innocent setting.

Alex seems to be taking great pleasure out of the mundane sensation of having someone play with his hair. And your heart warms once again when he grins at you, before proceeding to brush your nose against his.

After another minute, Alex places a soft kiss on your lips, just a quick one, through both of you panting. Unfortunately, the moment doesn’t last as long as you wanted it to.

Alex is out of you and his bunk shortly after that quick kiss and he pulls you with him, ushering you to head to the toilet before he has a shower. After one more passing kiss as you remerge out into the bunks, you hear Alex start the shower in the bus and you decide to get yourself ready for bed.

You go over to your bunk briefly, grabbing the shirt and shorts you usually sleep in and slipping them on. You go back out to the front area and grab the clothes that had been discarded there, basically just cleaning up before everyone else comes back.

Because you and Alex aren’t telling them anything.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A couple of days later, it was the lads’ biggest gig on the tour to date, and everyone was buzzing. This arena is big enough for them to have a dressing room each, if they really wanted to.

You and Alex had just been out to a shop for pre-gig drinks and cigarettes. You two were laughing and chatting as you headed back to the venue, both silently thankful that nothing had changed between you since the other night.

If nothing else, you just felt closer to each other. Another secret shared, presumably until you both decided on what to label your dynamic, because ‘best friend’ didn’t really seem to fit right anymore. After the other night, it was definitely more.

Best friends don’t have sex with each other.

You make your way back into the large shared dressing room, where the rest of the band was hanging out, you were surprised to see a stunning woman, tall with wavy brown hair. She was standing around like she was waiting for someone.

Her eyes land on you and Alex, more so him, and she smiles brightly. She heads over to your best friend immediately and excitedly greeting him, “Alex!”

Alex drops your hand at the door and goes to her immediately, but your heart sinks as you watch him wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her sweetly.

You aren’t the only one who’s surprised. Really, Miles seems like the only one who wasn’t surprised.

Matt, Nick and Jamie all look at you, just as shocked as you are. All quite clearly in the dark about whoever this girl was.

But all you could do was stand there helplessly and watch. You had no idea what you were witnessing, yet the dread you feel seems to slowly spread through your body again.

Alex introduces everyone to this girl, Alexa, and only when Alex turns to introduce you last, does she take note of you. But when she does, she seems genuine and friendly.

But you want to cry when she asks with a smile, “Oh, Y/N, his best friend, right?”

She has no idea.

You spare a glance at Alex, and his face is void of emotion, with an expression you were unable to read. You aren’t sure if it’s because you’re hurt or because you just didn’t know him as well as you thought you did.

“Y/N?” Alexa asks again, bringing you out of your head.

“Huh, yeah... Best friend I guess.” You nod before adding in a strained laugh, in an attempt to act normal, “I mean after Helders, obviously.”

The sweet girl engages in conversation with the lads for a few minutes, but you could only hopelessly stare at your best friend. But he keeps his eyes off you like you’re the plague.

All that does though is solidify the hurt that spreads through you.

“Um, I’m gonna....” You point over your shoulder at the door, not looking at anyone in particular as you slip out of the door. But not before you grab the drink you’d picked up.

You hurry out of the room and out of the venue, your mind hazy and completely spinning. What the hell was happening?

“What the fuck!” You shout a bit louder than you meant to and drew the attention of the security guard nearby.

“Sorry.” You tell him as he raises his eyebrow at you.

You sit against the wall and light a cigarette, bouncing your knees as you smoke. The stage door opens and you sigh in relief as Matt walks out.

“So, what the fuck was that?” He tries to joke because you very clearly need to laugh.

You just shake your head. Matt frowns and sits next to you, your friend putting his arm around your shoulders and giving you a gentle squeeze.

“I should go home.” You state blankly.

“Ah, Y/N/N, no.” Matt replies, before trying to prolong what was meant to be a fun trip for you, “Come on, we’ve barely got to hang out with you, stick around for the rest of us?”

You couldn’t help but worry that everything would just be tarnished from here on out though after witnessing whatever the hell that just was.

“Matt,” You sigh and look over at him, he’s pouting and it makes you laugh a bit. You push his face away from you playfully, “Stop pouting, you’re a grown man.”

“Stick around,” He nudges you, offering, “You can have fun with the rest of us. Nick, Jamie, and I will take you out so you can pull someone else.”

You chuckle a bit but nod, seeing no other way to either get back at Alex, or get over him. Depending on what this Alexa was to him.

You just feel complete numbness take over your system though, the chuckle was completely fake and just a means to appease Matt.

“There she is.” Matt grins and squeezes your shoulders again.

Standing in the wings of the stage was awkward this time, as Alexa is standing next to you. You were polite with her, you had no reason not to be.

But just from the little bit of interaction you’d seen when you went back inside with Matt earlier, it was clear that she and Alex were together.

The band started up Only Ones Who Know and there was a lump in your throat as they performed it tonight.

“Oh, I love this one.” Alexa says from next to you.

“Yeah.” You say plainly, distantly nodding, “Yeah, me too.”

Alex spares a glance in your direction but you know he’s looking at Alexa tonight, seeing as when he catches your eyes for a second he quickly looks back out to the crowd. You look away from him too, your grip tightening on the neck of the bottle you hold.

Knowing they don’t have many songs left, you mutter, “‘Scuse me” to Alexa and make your way out to the car park quickly.

You feel claustrophobic, trapped standing next to Alexa and watching Alex sing that song. Your legs give out beneath you and your stomach churns suddenly, you throw up onto the gravel that was in the car park.

It’s unexpected, a visceral reaction that accompanies your overwhelming emotions. You brace yourself against the wall until your body has nothing left to throw up. You stand up and wipe your mouth.

“What the fuck?” You repeat what you had yelled earlier, but it was a whisper this time, just for yourself.

You pick up your bottle of beer but your stomach churns again. You muster up as much strength as possible and chuck the bottle straight at the building across from you, only a meter or so away, before watching it shatter and fall to the concrete ground.

You push your hair back and head back to the bus, you really can’t go back backstage and watch anymore. Depending how long you could last on the tour, you know the rest of the shows you would either spend on the bus or in the crowd.

~*~*~*~ 22nd November 2007 ~*~*~*~

Alex’s attention has been completely taken by Alexa.

The ciders you’d had throughout their gig and the couple you’ve finished off as everyone hung out in Lord knows whose house, were definitely fueling your jealousy and annoyance more than dulling them. Miles plops down on the sofa next to you and kicks his feet up on the coffee table that separated you two from Al and his apparent girlfriend. Miles lightly flicked the underside of your chin with a low chuckle.

“What’s got you grumpy, Y/N/N?” He asks, despite the knowing smirk on his face.

He and all the boys in the Monkeys knew why your mood was so low. Though, maybe the one that mattered the most didn’t.

“Nothing, Kane.” You mutter and take another drink of your cider.

“Oh, super grumpy.” Miles feigns hurt, seeing as you typically called him Miles or some sort of nickname.

By now, Miles knew you well enough that if you didn’t quip back, you were actually upset.

“How long has that been going on?” You ask subtly nodding to Alex and Alexa, and you add in another scoff, “And what kind of narcissism does it take to date someone with a variation of your name?”

“I can only answer one of those.” Miles tells you with a soft chuckle.

“Oh,” You let out an annoyed whine as you look up at him, “Please tell me it's the narcissism one.”

You regret asking how long Alex and Alexa have been a thing as soon as the words left your mouth. The thought of all the kisses and intimate touches you’d shared with Alex over the few weeks of this tour made you sink back into the sofa.

“‘Bout six months now.” Miles answers how long the couple had been together.

You hum in response as you take a drink of your cider. Yep, you want to cry. You’re quiet for a few minutes, Miles stuck by you, mostly trying to cheer you up with dumb jokes.

You look back over at Alex and Alexa in time to see him bite her bottom lip as they pull away from a kiss.

“Dick.” You seeth more to yourself than anyone in the room as you stand up and make your way to the kitchen.

You toss your empty bottle in the bin, along with the others, and grab another before going out to the garden. It was fairly vacant so you gladly took the opportunity to get away from people for a minute and sit down.

Your moment of solace was interrupted by Jamie. Something that you didn’t mind at all, at least it wasn’t Alex.

“Heya, Cookie.” You greet him.

“Hey,” He gives you a sympathetic smile as he sits next to you. “How ya doing?”

“Am I that obvious?” You chuckle slightly.

“Only to the people that know you and Al the best.” Jamie states and you sigh.

“Yeah, well, you’d probably feel the same if he’d been trying to get into your pants this entire tour all whilst having a girlfriend.” You point out and Jamie laughs a bit.

“Sorry, shouldn’t laugh, you’re right.” He nods.

The both of you sit there in silence for a few minutes, until you offer Jamie a cigarette and he gladly takes one after you get one for yourself. You don’t chat as you smoke, you both just take an occasional sip of your drinks and you find that you crave the comfort of him just being there for you.

And you feel so much better in yourself, until the couple comes outside along with another group of people. You immediately deflate and Jamie can tell straight away.

Alex was joking around with a few other lads that you’d never seen before and Alexa comes over to you and Jamie after she spots you both sitting down. She stays standing up as pleasantries were exchanged, and she asks you and Jamie how you were both finding the party.

You find it easy to make conversation with her, as she is a nice and interesting person. It truly is a shame you’d met in the situation you found yourself in, because in any other situation you’d love to be really good friends with her.

“Lexa” Alex calls her and he silently asks for her cigarette which she happily gives him.

He comes over and has a drag of it and holds her waist just like he’d done in the months prior when you both went out of a cigarette. He would always have his head buried into your neck leaving teasing kisses there as you smoked, but after a drag or two he would always insist on you sharing the cigarette.

You pay him no attention as he was doing that, you just continue your conversation with Alexa. In that space of time you manage to finish your drink, and you know you’d need another soon.

Especially with Alex hanging off Alexa and being a fucking beg every so often for a drag. After a spell of him being particularly needy, you and Jamie roll your eyes discretely whilst Alexa just giggles like a schoolgirl.

You couldn’t even blame her though. You were in her shoes a matter of weeks ago and it felt amazing having his attention like that.

The thought of it now just repulsed you.

“Don’t know who we think we are, sharing a cigarette” Alexa giggles a little at Alex and then down to you and Jamie as she takes a drag.

“Quite the pair,” You smile up at her as best you can, but you knew she couldn’t tell you were being sarcastic.

Alex probably could, but you don’t spare him a glance. Jamie, however, you glance at, and you can see he’s looking at the ground trying to hold back a laugh.

You nudge him a little, not quite being able to hold back your little chuckle. So, you both silently laugh. You rest your head down on Jamie’s shoulder after he nudges you back and you both sit there softly giggling as you smoke.

Alexa looks back down at the both of you then, and thinks that you both look like quite a cute pair. So, she asks you a question that she’d actually been curious about.

“Do you have a boyfriend Y/N?” Alexa asks you, smiling down at you.

That question hits you like a baseball bat to the stomach.

You pick your head up off Jamie’s shoulder and shake it whilst taking a long drag of your cigarette. You hold the smoke in your lungs for a moment before you say, “Not anymore.”

She can hear the sadness in your voice when you say it, so she hesitantly asks, “What happened? If you don't mind me asking.”

“Oh, where do I start?” You say reliving the last year of your life in your head.

And upon doing so, you just wished you hadn’t left Manchester.

You strongly debate telling Alexa a version of the truth from the boyfriend you thought you’d just lost. You debate saying that you were deceived and tricked into bed by someone you thought you trusted.

But Jamie was next to you, and you didn’t want him to know you actually had sex with Alex the night they all went out. You and your best friend were both good liars and both of you had managed to convince them when they came back that nothing had gone that far.

You just didn’t know how good of a liar Alex actually was.

“I was in a really shitty relationship and some of my friends knew about it, and kept on pushing me to get out of it. Whilst I was away in Manchester I kissed one of my best friends. I felt guilty, came home and told the guy, it ended, and I cried about it,” You give her a very brief overview of the first half of your year.

You flick the end of your cigarette to the ground as you say, looking at her, “I shouldn't have cheated though. What goes around comes around, I guess.”

Your eyes flick to Alex’s and he doesn't even have the balls to maintain eye contact. He just guiltily looks away from you before pulling Alexa towards him and his hand slides into her back pocket.

“I’m sorry,” She tells you, “You deserve better than to be treated like shit.”

“Thank you Alexa,” You smile.

You really wanted to add ‘tell your boyfriend that’ but you didn’t have the energy anymore. Especially when he pulls her over to stand by the wall with him, so she’s leaning into his body and their faces are just inches apart again.

But Alexa’s attention was still mostly on you. She offers you a smile and says, “Don’t know who thinks they can treat you like that anyway. You’re gorgeous and you deserve better.”

You smile at her compliment but then Alex just has to go and be a cunt. Your dickhead of a best friend starts kissing her neck then and you literally see her melt in his arms.

Just like you’d done a matter of weeks before.

“I’ve clearly just got ‘gullible’ written on my forehead,” You say as you stand up, not giving anyone a second glance, as you disappear down the alley by the side of the house.

You weren’t going to sit there and watch him kiss her neck whilst she was chatting to you about heartbreaks, when he’s just caused you your worst one.

You just want to feel numb, and the only way you thought you’d be able to achieve that was to smoke some weed. So, you were really glad you spotted that guy by the front of the house earlier smoking it.

“Y/N,” You heard Jamie call.

You shout back, not bothering to turn around as you walked away, “I’m going to smoke some weed Jamie, not to kill myself.”

“Just wait a second,” He instructs and you try to keep the tears that are threatening to form in your eyes away as you stop.

The pressure in your head hurt, and you just didn’t want to be on the verge of crying every day anymore.

You turn back to look at your friend and you see him give you a sad smile. You’re sick of everyones pity, too.

“I’m sorry, you know?” Jamie tells you, taking a deep breath when he reaches you.

You ask him confused, “For what?”

“For what he’s done,” Jamie says, and you can feel the lump forming in your throat.

But he continues, “If I'd known... I would have told you... We all would have told you.”

You appreciate him telling you that a lot more than you think he would ever know. You feel betrayed by Miles, considering you’d become such good friends with him over the past few months, but at the end of the day it was Alex’s fault, not his.

“You don’t deserve that...” Jamie tells you as he sees the tears starting to form. “No one does”

You try to swallow away the lump in your throat, but it persists and it hurts. So, you just whisper, “I just feel like a complete mug” and you wipe away the lone tear that fell down your cheek.

“I’m not surprised” He says before he pulls you into a hug and the affection just makes you break a little.

“I just wanna go home, Cookie,” You whisper into his ear in the most pained voice Jamie ever thinks he’s heard.

“I know it probably doesn’t mean much but you’ve got us,” Jamie tells you as he keep you in his embrace, “And you can be assured that when she leaves we’re gunna boot the fuck off at him.”

You smile into his shoulder when he tells you that, but you’re shocked when he tells you, “Matt’s already done it once but it was cut short because people walked in.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised because you hadn’t heard about it.

More than likely Matt was trying to spare your feelings. But you want more than anything for Alex to get a comeuppance, even if it was just Matt shouting at him.

The knowledge of that makes you a lot happier.

“Yeah, really,” Jamie nods, “We love you Y/N/N, and he’s being a prick. He’s not getting away with it."

“Thank you, Cookie. I love you,” You tell him, giving him another tight squeeze.

“Love you too, Hun,” Jamie says before he kisses your temple.

~*~*~*~ 7th December 2007 ~*~*~*~

You weren’t entirely sure how you’d handled the past two weeks, as Alexa had joined the tour as well. Much to your dismay. She wasn’t here for a week's stay like you and the rest of the band initially thought.

Not that you would’ve picked things up with Alex again, but you could’ve at least chewed him out for it. You’d really only stayed at the request of Matt, Nick and Jamie. And you were having fun with them for sure - Miles as well.

You two got on better than anyone expected. Alex was pleased at that fact, since he and Miles were about as close as you two were. But that friendship had been a little more distant since you’d found out he knew about Alexa all along.

You roll the tension out of your neck and shoulders as you stand up from the settee. Even when you’re mad at him, you still want Alex to be happy. It frustrates the shit out of you.

“Where you going?” Matt asks as you head for the bunks.

“For a smoke!” You call back and go to grab the pack you’d bought at the last stop earlier in the week.

The bus was stopped for the night, having arrived at the stop for the gig tomorrow a couple of hours ago. You grab your rucksack and dig through it, grabbing two empty cigarette boxes.

“Well, that’s probably how I’ve been dealing with this shit.” You mutter to yourself and toss them on your bed before finding the newer one.

You grab your lighter as well and head back up to the door, you step down and open the door when it swings open in front of you. Alex stands at the foot of the steps and you hear Alexa laughing outside.

“Oh.” Alex and you breathe together.

Unsurprisingly, you two had been avoiding each other as much as possible since Alexa had arrived.

“Go ahead.” He says and steps out of the way, holding the door open and staring at his feet.

“Thanks.” You mutter and slip out past him.

You head away from Alexa’s laughter, glancing over your shoulder for a moment as you walk. You catch Alex staring at you for a second before he panics slightly and goes back onto the bus. You roll your eyes and take a cigarette out and light it.

Despite being a bit away from Alexa, you can still hear her conversation clearly. She must have been on the phone with one of her friends, you assume.

“He really is just so sweet.” She gushes to her friend about Alex.

You roll your eyes, if she knew how you two had been before she showed up, she probably would’ve left. You should’ve just told her, called Alex out immediately.

But he seemed happy, so you decided against it. Pushing your feelings out of the way for the sake of his. Because he is, or maybe was now, your best mate and you wanted him to be happy.

“Oh, I’m just going to read this to you... Alex gave it to me when I got here.” She giggles.

You know you should’ve gone inside then, but you continue to smoke. But a minute later you find yourself completely regretting the decision to stay outside.

“Okay, ready?” She asks and takes a deep breath as she recites, “My mouth hasn’t shut about you since you kissed it. The idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain which hasn’t stopped thinking about you since, well, before any kiss.”

Your knees give out a bit and you let yourself sink to the wet and dirty pavement beneath you. You don’t make any sound to accompany the tears that start, figuring Alexa may hear you. And you want to hear the rest of the letter. Sadistic as the notion of hearing Alex’s affirmation of love to her is.

“And now the prospect of those kisses seems to wind me like when you slip on the stairs and one of the steps hits you in the middle of the back.”

You close your eyes tightly and put your hand over your mouth to muffle any noise that might escape.

“The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree.” Alexa giggles. “Isn’t that so cute?”

She gushes and you force yourself to stand, despite your legs still feeling like they’d give out from underneath you at any given moment.

The only direction in your mind being: Away.

Away from the bus.

From Alexa.

From Alex.

“Fuck.” You let out in a strained sob as your knees buckle again but you catch yourself against a bin.

You hope that you’re far enough away that she can’t hear you, or that she has gone back onto the bus. This is your breaking point, you can’t pretend like everything’s okay anymore.

“What the fuck?” You say to yourself.

Betrayed and broken are words that describe how you’re feeling. The hurt is constant in your chest now, and the tears that are cascading down your face just prove it.

You pat your pockets down for your phone, cursing yourself when you realise you’d left it to charge in your bunk. You don’t have any strength to get yourself back up though, so you find yourself sitting on the dirty pavement, trying to slowly piece yourself back together.

You have no idea how long you ended sitting crying for, but it couldn't have been any more than a total of twenty minutes because you hear your friend shout your name.

“Y/N/N!” Matt calls from behind you, but you can’t face shouting back with a broken voice, so you just pick yourself up off the floor and turn around.

Not yet noticing your condition, Matt wanders over and laughs a little as he asks, “What are you doing all the way out there?”

You glance around, not really realising just how far away from the bus you’d gone. Alexa must have gone back inside a while ago now. Matt closes the space between you and his usual playful grin drops as he notices you’re crying.

“Y/N.” He coos and gently steadies you once he notices you’re shaking.

Thank God for Matthew J Helders the third. You think to yourself.

Matt doesn’t even ask what was going on, he knows. So, he just hugs you tightly, Matt truly gives the best hugs out of all of your friends. You cry a little harder as you lean in his hug.

“Need anything?” He asks and you pull away as you wipe your eyes.

“Could you, uh, grab my phone from my bunk?” You ask him. “I think... I’m gonna call my cousin. Leave. I don’t wanna stick around anymore, sorry.”

“Oh, don’t apologise.” Matt says and gently squeezes your shoulders. “I’ll go get your phone, just come back a little closer to the bus, it's a bit dodgy out here.” He chuckles a bit.

You nod and walk back to the bus with him. You lean against the back of the bus as he heads back in. You let out a shaky sigh and decide to light another cigarette.

You’re definitely still crying and at this point, wiping away the tears isn’t doing anything but soaking the cuffs of your hoodie sleeves. So, you stop bothering to get rid of them. Matt returns with your phone and passes it to you.

“Thanks.” You sigh and he nods before giving you a sympathetic squeeze on your arm, heading back onto the bus.

You sigh and call Adam, thankful it was fairly late and therefore the time of discounted call charges.

“Hello?” Adam answers groggily.

“Hey, Ad, sorry I know it's late.” You sniffle a bit.

“No, no worries, are you okay?” Your cousin asks and you hear him shuffling around before the click of the light in his dorm room turns on.

You take a deep breath and say, “Uh, no, not really.”

“Has something happened? Aren’t you still on tour with your mates?” He asks.

“Yeah and uh,” You try not to cry as you say it but your voice is strained. “Alex has got a girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Adam replies.

“Yeah.” You mutter.

“Alex Alex?” He asks for clarification.

“Yeah, Alex Alex.” You nod, even though he couldn’t see you.

“I’m sorry, B. Are you going home?” He asks.

“Uh, that’s actually why I was calling?” You laugh a bit. “I’d really rather come see you lot than go home now.”

“Yeah, course.” Adam says. “I’m not home but I’ll call my Mum and let her know you’re coming, I’m sure she won’t mind… You coming in the morning?”

“Uh, yeah, probably. I don’t wanna wake her up now.” You nod. “Thanks, Adam.”

“Course.” He replies.

“Right, I’ll let you go now.” You take a deep breath. “Sure you need plenty of sleep for whatever biochemistry class you’ve got tomorrow, you absolute nerd.” You tease him and he laughs.

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” He shakes his head. “You get some sleep too, don’t worry about the dickhead.”

You laugh a bit, it was breathy and strained, a light sob was hidden behind it. “Thanks, Ad. I love you.”

“Love you too. See you soon.” He replies.

“Yeah, soon.” You nod and hang up.

The next morning you wake up before the rest of anyone on the bus and quietly pack your things. You write a quick note to Jamie, Matt, Miles and Nick; purposefully leaving out Alex’s name because pettiness gets the better of you.

Nothing too detailed, just that you needed to go home and you hoped they had a great rest of their tour and loved them all. You also ask Matt in your note, to hold onto anything of yours you may have forgotten on the bus.

You sigh a bit as you take a final glance at the main area of the bus, any fun times that included Alex had definitely been soured now. You shake your head and walk out with your bag, calling the number for a taxi service you’d seen in an ad last night and thankfully saved to your phone.

You decide to smoke while you wait and as you take your first drag you hear the bus door open. You hope to literally every higher power that it is anyone but Alex, hell, you’d be alright with Alexa coming out here at this point.

You could at least tell her a lie that you were going to go help your Aunt or something, she wouldn’t be able to tell you were lying. But God obviously hates you.

There Alex is, hair a mess, still in his pyjamas. He holds up the note you’d left.

“You’re leaving?” He asks and you look away from him. Hoping that if you don’t look at his face you won’t start crying like you had last night.

“You shouldn’t read things that aren’t addressed to you.” You say plainly as you take another drag.

“It's not...?” Alex mutters and looks at it again. “Oh.” He frowns. “Why?”

“You’re not an idiot, Alex, you know why.” You reply, glaring at nothing in particular across the street.

“Angel.” He sighs.

“Don’t call me that.” You say, probably a bit harsher than needed.

“Y/N,” Alex corrects himself before he continues. “I didn’t mean to...”

You scoff, “Didn’t mean to what, Alex?” before you turn your glare to him. “Treat me like your girlfriend for these past few weeks?” You spit.

In reality it had been the last few months though. All while he was 6 months deep into his relationship.

“I was going to tell you about Alexa.” He says and looks away from you.

“Yeah?” You ask. “When?”

He didn’t say anything for a minute.

“I don’t know, eventually, I guess.” Alex shrugs.

“Before or after you got me back into your bed?” You spit venomously as you glare at him.

Alex shifts his weight, clearly uncomfortable with the confrontation from you. A strained and awkward silence settles between you two then. Something that has never happened in all the years you’d know each other.

“You know what, Alex.” You sigh. “If you’re really so in love with her, you shouldn’t have been fucking about with me so much.”

“Y/N.” He sighs and takes a step towards you. “I’m not...”

But you cut him off and hiss, “Oh, fuck off.”

“The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree.” You quote the letter you’d overheard Alexa reading last night and his face drops more than you thought it even could.

The entire thing had been on repeat in your brain since last night, replacing Only Ones Who Know and 505effortlessly.

“Sounds like love to me.”

Alex begins, “How’d you...”

“I overheard her on the phone last night.” You say.

“Oh.” He nods.

You hate the awkward air between you, when just a month ago you would have been curled up into his arms at this time in the morning. The thought just makes the lump in your throat more prominent though.

“I...” He pauses for a moment, definitely trying to think of the right thing to say. “I hope this doesn’t change anything... With us.”

You scoff again and look away from him. The fucking audacity. The nerve.

“Y/N. Please, I fucked up, I know.” He sighs, almost pleading with you to understand with his eyes.

“That’s an understatement.” You reply and sigh in relief as you watch your taxi pull up. “You’ve fucked up, again.”

Alex’s face twists to a bit of confusion, “Again? What are you on about?”

“Joanna.” You say simply as you flick your now finished cigarette to the ground.

The realisation hits him a bit harder than you thought it would. It may have been four years since that summer, but it still upset you if you thought about it.

And now he’s just gone and done it again to a much higher degree.

"Please, wait a minute." Alex pleads, grabbing your hand gently as you pick up your bag.

"Fuck off." You snap, pulling your hand away and head towards the taxi.

"Y/N, please!" Alex tries again, clearly panicking now, he pleads, "Please let me explain."

"As if you could ever explain this, Alex." You shake your head, turning back to towards the taxi.

All you want to do is cry at this point, you want to be in the taxi and free to let your emotions out. You're so tired of holding everything in. You need to go, and you need to go now.

But Alex rushes after you, this time he grabs you by your waist as he needs you to stop, "Please, lets just talk."

"What else is there to say?" You turn back towards him, taking a step back to get yourself out of his hold.

His touch makes you feel physically sick. You want him nowhere near you.

"You've been fucking your girlfriend every night for the past month with me a bunk away from you! I can hear you both in there!" You can feel the tears threatening to fill your eyes as you speak. You're really not doing well at hiding your emotions because you even sound sad when you say, "And you don't give a single shit... You're doing it as if you weren't fucking me in the same bed days before she got here."

Alex looks shameful, as he rightly should after all the shit he's pulled. But you drive the point home as you continue so he understands what consequences his actions have.

"You've lied to me for months..." Your really using everything in you not to burst into tears as you say, "You've led me on for months, Alex."

And it really cuts you deep in the heart when he can't even look into your eyes as you tell him that. You think he owes you that much after all the shit you've had to watch him and Alexa do whilst she's been here.

He only looks back up into your eyes when your voice cracks as you say, "I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Please," Alex looks emotional too now, but you turn to walk the short distance left to the taxi. His call of, "I'm sorry." doesn't stop you though.

"Sorry doesn't cut it." You shake your head, not looking back at him.

As you open the back door of the taxi, you tell your so-called 'best friend', "If you find anything of mine, give it to Matt. I asked him to keep a hold of my stuff for me." And you give him no time to respond as you get in the taxi quickly.

"I..." Your best friend starts but you shut the door on him. Alex steps back and looks away from you as he lights up a cigarette. But you don't give him any satisfaction of looking at him again.

"Train station please." You tell the driver and wipe a few tears away.

He glances at you in the mirror and gives you a soft, sympathetic smile before nodding and driving away.

~*~*~*~

You had tried your best not to cry at all while you were on the train to Manchester. Tried was maybe too strong of a word because by the time you pulled into the station, your eyes were red, raw and puffy and anytime you wiped tears away with the sleeve of your hoodie, it stung.

You knew you looked like an absolute mess, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to care. Your Auntie was picking you up and you knew once she saw you upset that would just mean a day of her trying to cheer you up. And you welcomed the thought.

You also knew that when Adam was able to, he would make his way home to hang out with you. You definitely had a feeling that hanging out with the boys would take your minds off things with Alex.

You head out to the front of the station, searching for your Aunt. Instead you see a familiar mop of brown curly hair, you can't help but smile at how excited Matty looks to see you.

He smiles brightly, waving at you. You sniffle a bit, still on the verge of crying again but Matty’s presence definitely holds the tears at bay. So, you gather a little more composure before you walk over to him.

You are a few steps away from him and he quickly closes the space between you two, capturing you in a hug. It really hadn’t been that long since you last saw him, but that didn’t really matter to Matty, he always loves to see you.

“Heya, Wheels.” Matty smiles as you hug him back.

“Hey, Curly. Nice surprise.” You tell him as you two part.

Matty’s eyes look over your face, he can tell you’ve been crying and is a bit sad that this impromptu visit was more because something upsetting had happened and less of a spontaneous trip to come see everyone. You give him a small smile but there is still some sadness in your eyes, and it breaks his heart a little.

“Come on then, let’s go.” He grins as he throws an arm around your shoulder and grabs one of your bags.

You chuckle a bit as you two head over to his van. Matty puts your stuff in the back and you two get in, Matty smiles at you as the CD he had in starts up. At this point, he just wants to make you laugh and smile as much as he can.

You laugh a little as he sings along to the song, he switches between faking playing guitar and drums. It definitely picks up your mood. You and Matty spending the drive singing along to some of your favorites and him goofing off was making you forget everything that had happened, at least temporarily.

Your phone chimes in your pocket and you check it, a text from Alex.

Miss you Angel xx You want to throw your phone out the window as you feel tears start again. At this point you are more frustrated than sad, you shove your phone into your bag and drop it onto the floor.

The motion makes Matty look over at you, he was planning on just asking what was wrong when you two got to your Aunt’s house but now you’re crying in the passenger seat of his van, and he hates seeing you cry and not doing anything to comfort you. So, he pulls into a car park and parks before turning to you.

“What’s going on, Sweetheart?” He asks you softly as he gently places his hand on your thigh.

“It's nothing.” You mutter, swiftly and harshly wiping the tears of your face.

The stinging sensation again makes you wince a little bit. You just want to be done crying over Alex and you’re exhausted that your body won’t let you stop.

“Y/N.” Matty coos. “You look like you’ve been crying for days, this isn’t nothing.”

You sob but quickly cover your mouth, knowing he hit the nail on the head. Matty quickly undoes his seatbelt and moves to the small open space between the two front seats.

The hug was awkward, Matty elected to just kneel in that open space and wrap his arms around your waist, his head basically resting on your chest. You rest your head on the top of his and basically just sob into his hair as he holds you.

“You’re alright, Sweetheart.” He mutters and places a warm kiss on the only spot he could reach, which was your collarbone.

The feeling warms your broken heart for a few seconds and you really appreciate the comfort he brings you, whether the hug was awkward or not. You can’t wait to get a proper one.

After a few moments, you relax, your sobs turn to small shaky breaths and you try to fully regain your composure. Matty pulls away and reaches up, gently tucking some of your hair behind your ear. His other hand takes yours and gives it a gentle squeeze.

Matty asks in a whisper, “You wanna talk about it?”

“Not in a Tesco’s car park.” You say with a soft and shaky chuckle.

“Fair.” Matty smiles at you a bit, “You wanna go to mine or Hann’s?”

“Yours.” You tell him, you figure his house was likely empty asit typically was, and you just want to be with Matty right now. You’ll see your family and other friends later.

Matty nods and squeezes your hand again before moving back to the driver’s seat. He doesn’t let go of your hand, not until you two arrive at his house and even then he is reluctant to let you go at all.

You decide to leave your stuff in the van and follow Matty inside. He shuts the front door behind you two and gives you a proper, much needed hug. You close your eyes and let yourself melt into his touch as you hug him back.

He was familiar, and that was something that you needed right now. Matty had never once failed to bring you comfort when you needed it most and you were grateful he was here to give you it now.

You and Matty head up to his room once you release him from the hug, you take comfort in these familiar surroundings, too. Matty is patient, waiting for you to be ready to explain what was going on, and whilst he wants to know badly, he never once rushes you.

He picks at the tear in the knee of his jeans and looks up at you as you take a deep breath before you begin to explain your truth.

When you tell him about the time you’d spent on tour with the lads in Arctic Monkeys, you expect him to tease you about it as he typically did when you brought them up. But from hearing the full story of why you were so upset, Matty had come to realise that you weren’t fibbing about knowing them.

There was no way you could be this devastated about someone you didn’t actually know. Matty was watching your heart break all over again as you explained the last few months to him.

Matty would admit there was a bit of jealousy in his heart as you told him what you and Alex had been doing on the tour, but he just pushed it away. You need his comfort right now, not his resentment for the fact you chose someone else besides him. Matty knows that your summer was meant to be just that, a summer. So, he keeps his mouth shut as he listens.

You tell him everything. Except the part about you and Alex losing your virginities to each other.

You may be pissed off at Alex, but you two had promised each other a long time ago that it would stay between the two of you. And so it would.

Instead, you tell Matty that Alex has been your best mate for years and that you two always seemed to pine after each other and how you thought maybe, just maybe, this time would be different. You cry again as you start to tell him what had happened.

But only when you calm yourself down do you realise who you’re talking to. You feel a twinge of guilt, sitting on Matty’s bed telling him about your feelings for someone else, when Matty has always been the one to pine after you.

God, you’re such a fucking bitch.

“Fuck, Matty, I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear all this.” You say as you wipe your eyes again. You hiss, “Ow fuck.”

“It's alright.” He says softly and takes your hands away from your face. “Can I be honest?” He asks you and you nod.

“Alex sounds like a cunt.” Matty smiles as you laugh.

“Yeah, he’s kinda been one recently.” You nod. “Hasn’t always been, but recently, he really has been.”

“C’mere, Wheels.” Matty says and opens his arms to you.

You lean forward and hug him, Matty wraps his arms around you and lays back, pulling you down with him. You two lay there in a comfortable silence, Matty lightly running his index finger up and down your spine.

Your breathing evens out and you fully stop crying after what feels like hours. You readjust your position, getting more comfortable but still cuddled up to Matty. He chuckles a bit and places a kiss on the top of your head as you rest your head back on his chest.

“Thank you, Curly.” You tell him.

He hums in response and you let out a soft tired sigh. You feel a lot better, being back in Manchester or maybe more specifically back in Matty’s arms. You look around his room as you two lay there, smiling a bit as you spot the images you two had taken in the photobooth at the fair this past summer.

Your eyes continue to wander and you see a familiar shirt hanging in his wardrobe; standing out from the plethora of dark clothing was your white button up that was covered in peonies. You chuckle a bit seeing it hanging there.

“What?” Matty smiles upon hearing your small laugh now without any hints that you’d been crying laced within it.

“That my top?” You ask him and motion to his closet. Matty looks over at it and grins a bit.

“Yeah.” He chuckles back. “Found it a bit ago, guess you can take it back now.”

“Nah.” You chuckle and grin up at him. “Hold on to it if you want, bet you look better in it than me.”

“Oh, that, I highly doubt.” Matty smiles back down at you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Alex be like “Alexa, play Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears” smh x

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