#NOW i know what a guelph is it makes the whole thing a lot better

[whythewords]

Saddle up

In the vain of the last post, is there a point in updating this anymore? I think I do it more for my own benefit because realistically the application of this whole thing is to get these thoughts onto a (digital) page. I've oftentimes in the last little while thought that I didn't have much to say, until I started saying it. Then it flowed out like water breaking through a dam.

Things are where they were, they're where I left them. I'm still trying to make moves to...well..move. I SAY I'm trying harder to make it happen this year, but realistically I've done a lot planning for the steps I should be taking and not actually taking said steps. I feel like I said something to that effect last time too...or maybe it was the time before that. It's all starting to run together.

Work has been kicking my ass the last few weeks. Again, something I feel like I've already asked but I guess it bares repeating: is it too early to be bitter? And maybe bitter is too strong a word. I contend in other discussions about this gig that my worst day is here is still better than my best day at the old job. I haven't had full-on panic attacks. I haven't had a day so shitty that all I wanted was the warmth of my home and for it still to be at least an hour out of my grasp...and be kinda shitty there too anyway. Well...I guess things are shitty at home now as well but for different reasons. But at least I'm close by.

That's the other thing. I know my folks mean well, but it's been increasingly tough lately. I went to see an old friend in Toronto and was riddled with texts and phone calls because I hadn't come home yet and it was late. 37 years old and being checked in on, helicopter parented by my 80 and almost 80 year old folks. I lost my damn mind and got into a huge blowout with my dad over it..and fuck even that...even that is some teenager bullshit. I just don't want any of it. I've been spending far less time with them and it's not too hard for them to notice when someone is avoiding them in their own home. My mom seems more understanding of my plight...my dad is the one who makes comments. Just moments ago he brought me a plate of fruit, admittedly a very sweet and homey gesture and something I would SURELY miss if I was off living on my own...and as he set it down he said "here, since you don't want to spend time with us anymore." The implication being that they were having fruit earlier while watching Jeopardy! which I used to watch with them pretty frequently, but I opted not to tonight. I bowed out of the tradition.

And you know what? He's fucking right. I DON'T want to spend time with them anymore. At least not right now. Not after spending almost 3 years with them beginning during one of the most truly shitty times in my life, and trying to claw my way back to some sense of normalcy and claim SOME semblance of the independence that one would think ought to be allotted to an employed, fairly intelligent 37 year old man. If I move far, mom already said they're gonna go where I go so I am going to keep seeing them frequently, but on my own terms and with the ability to retreat to my own space. And if they stay out here in Mississauga, I'm gonna be back out here visiting friends and family constantly anyway...and friends in Toronto, and friends in Guelph, and friends in Burlington....

And maybe a girl in Burlington? But let's not get our hopes up. Let's not do the same thing we do every single god damn time we get a little deep into these dating apps. So yeah, that happened again (against my better judgment.) I was seeing some old friends this past Friday night (those ones in Toronto, in fact) that I hadn't seen in a while. We were talking about dating and it came to light that couples in healthy (or I suppose unhealthy) relationships oftentimes have a weird FOMO about the dating apps and like to live vicariously through their single friends. I don't know if it's necessarily just FOMO or more of an "oh wow look at the freak show" mentality, but either way I said "fuck it" and decided to download the two apps I had profiles on so we could marvel at the state of dating right now all together. This is after I had pledged to myself and others that I would stay off that shit until I figure out this next chapter of my life. Now, in my defence...the alcohol was flowing...(one full beer on a half empty stomach, because that's all it takes for my old ass these days...I didn't say it was the best defence.) So I got out the phone and casted to their TV and we swiped and we laughed and we drank. One of the friends posited that we should get together again but go out to a bar instead and she would be my "wingwoman" and all that, and it all was very fun and light-hearted. But by the end of it, I did tell them both that there was a good chance these apps would be off my phone again in a couple of weeks.

Cut to the next day. Saturday morning. No big plans. A few matches. And now I'm in it. Halfway true to my word, I very quickly deleted one of the apps as there was absolutely no traction there, but there were a few light conversations happening on the other one. A couple of new matches over the course of the week, some conversations, and one in particular that quickly resulted in a date after just a few days of chatting. What's more, she was the one to ask me out which was a surprising and welcome change from the flakiness I'd experienced from the last couple of women I had "successful" meetups with on the apps. The date was fine. Simple. We had drinks and chatted and got to know each other a little better. We already have another one scheduled for next Tuesday. These should be good things...but I'm worried.

I'm worried about the hole I dug myself into after the last couple of connections I made on these apps. I'm worried that I felt so committed to NOT being on the apps while I figured the rest of my life out, that maybe that mentality is still lingering. I still have walls up. I had to really actually try to tell myself during the date to drop my guard a little bit. I told my friend this and he expressed concern that I shouldn't jump in if I don't feel ready...but I've BEEN doing this...I've BEEN ready. I think I'm ready just not nearly as...I don't know...hopeful? And that's sad. But I am willing, SO fucking willing to have my mind changed. So we'll see. Rolling with the punches is sort of the name of the game here. Don't wanna over-invest...don't wanna be aloof and dismissive. Just need to meet in the middle.

Maybe that improv class I've been taking will help with the dating thing and allow me some more unguarded spontaneity? Maybe I just needed a smooth transition into talking about the improv class. It has been a fucking blast, actually. I have looked forward to it every Tuesday and it's been a nice consistent routine and activity to get outta the house with. And tomorrow is the last session...(technically today because it is well past midnight and fuck I should be sleeping). I can't believe 8 weeks already passed. It fucking flew by. And I definitely think I wanna take the next class in the series or do an acting class at the theatre centre closer to me or just...something. I need another fun thing I can do for a little while to just get out of my same-ass routine.

This is all sort of reminiscent of my brief time in Toronto that I previously mentioned being nostalgic for. It was a rediscovery: Getting more involved in music, going out mid-week to just "check out the scene" as it was. Hell, that was my first experience on the dating apps as well. And that first part was fun...it was always fun until it wasn't. But I'm here now, and I'm trying again because I just might as fucking well right?

So here we go.

Back in the saddle.

[lvenvs3000f23]

Final Post: Myself and Interpretation

Prompt: Describe your personal ethic as you develop as a nature interpreter. What beliefs do you bring? What responsibilities do you have? What approaches are most suitable for you as an individual? (1000 words)

Welcome back everyone! Thank you all for coming along with me for this adventure - this course has been a lot of learning and it’s been incredible to be a part of it! Now, if you don’t know me, I will introduce myself again for the last time!

My name is Luca Villeneff, currently studying Zoology here at the University of Guelph. My dream one day is to become a professional Ornithologist and I work incredibly hard towards it every day of my life. Nature interpretation is important to me and my career due to how interconnected science and interpretation are.

Currently, I help as a vice president for a birding club where we do interpretive walks often. In these walks, we have professionals and/or experienced birders teaching others about the beauty of birds! We focus heavily on birds as we are a birding club, but we are here to love and experience all types of nature of course! Having been on many of these walks, I can say that it’s a great experience for interpretation, and it’s really changed its meaning for me. I thought at first that interpretation was really formal - a professional title that only experienced people could do. I thought that it was incredible and I have always wanted to learn how.

 I’ve realized now that interpretation is much more than that - fundamentally, it's the connection between people and nature. You don’t need anything to do it, you just need someone to listen. I realize I’ve been doing interpretation my whole life, telling all the people I do and even don’t know about all the cool facts I know, pointing out birds and birdsong, learning to ID plants and other creatures, and telling everyone about it. It’s ultimately just an exchange of knowledge.

Doing it professionally can be more of a challenge I realize. I’ve seen some great examples from the lovely people I know who work at Quest Nature Tours (https://www.worldwidequest.com/index.php?page=trips&cmd=theme&key=quest_nature_tours). I love hearing about the interpretation work they do worldwide, and being able to provide these lovely pieces of knowledge to incredible people who love to learn! Getting to meet a lot of them as well has been amazing, as they are all incredible interpreters, always teaching me about things I didn’t know. I do realize that I am lucky to have made many of these connections, and I hope that they make me a better interpreter as I keep growing.

Throughout this course, I’ve been practicing my own interpretation and science communication skills through running my own impromptu birding group in preparation to start doing interpretation on a larger scale, though I have been invited by the club I work with to do so before. It can be scary especially when starting out and I am definitely still trying to find my own voice inside this. I have also gotten a lot of help being a volunteer with Wild Ontario here at the University of Guelph, as I have been trying to find more of my own voice and have been learning to present and talk to people about nature in more formal settings. It’s been so incredible to do both, which I am still genuinely so grateful for. I want to eventually use these skills to become a better interpreter and be a good teacher to those who wish to learn!

My ethics and values in terms of Interpretation are:

Learning: We are all here to learn, so I hope that people learn at least something small from the interpretation that I do. It could be as small as knowing a birdsong or as large as genuine issues that affect wildlife.

Respect: I want to instill inherent respect for wildlife. I want to make sure people know why we do what we do as interpreters, why nature needs respect, and the effects that we as humans have on them.

Teamwork: I want everyone to know that we are a team. Interpretation is a conversation, not a lecture. I want people to ask questions that we can all rack our brains around and figure out together! It makes everything more fun and can provide opportunities for different systems of learning and thinking that we may have not considered.

Kindness: I want everyone to know that everyone is in a different place in their journey and nobody should be shamed for knowing more or less or asking genuine questions. I want to make sure that everybody is included and that nobody will be left out.

Some other goals of my interpretation is that I would love for it to be as accessible as possible - as someone with a disability, I want to make sure that everyone can gain the same experience as nobody is less than anyone else. Recently, my club partnered with the Ontario Field Ornithologists (OFO) and Birds Canada to help create a map with accessible birding sites (http://ofo.ca/site/content/enabled-birding), that is in the works to be made public soon!

The approaches that are most suitable for my style of interpretation may vary, as I am still trying to find my own voice and style as I do this! When I go to interpretive walks and events, I find that what helps me tends to be the passion of whoever is speaking. When I see someone like Chris Earley talk, I feel so compelled to listen and take in everything he says just from his energy alone. I find his style of interpretation incredibly captivating! I think just his energy and views on everything draws people in. I have been to other walks with other people where taking a careful hand to make sure that you have had the same experience as others is important. A lot of walks I have been on have had the lead (and sometimes the other participants) helping out anyone who hasn’t seen the bird or whatever they have been looking for. I hope to eventually employ these styles into my own work.

Thank you everyone for coming along with me for this adventure! It was great to have you!

[tototavros]

“so the staufers (hohenstaufens) were called ghibellines after “ghibbilino” from “wibellingen” (now waiblingen)"

[kdmenvs300019-blog]

#3. I just couldn’t “past” up the chance to unpack this quote.

I struggled to make sense of Hyams’ quotation at first. However, after “unpacking” it by analyzing sections at a time, I felt I understood it better. This process related to a quotation in the textbook that caught my attention: “…before you can study the forest, you must become totally familiar with the trees.” (Beck and Cable, 2011, p. 69). So, let’s look at these “trees”. 

  “There is no peculiar merit in ancient things, but there is merit in integrity, and integrity entails the keeping together of the parts of any whole…”

This tells me that old things are not special simply because they are old. Think an artifact, fossil, or ancient object. Now, in a reply tell me what that object is, how old it is, and why it is important. Here’s mine: below I’ve got a photo of part of a trilobite fossil from Craigleith Provincial Park in Ontario. I have no idea how many years old it is. But I can tell you that these trilobites lived at a time when a lot of what is now North America existed as a shallow sea centred near the equator. Perhaps you are like me and struggled to remember the dates and numbers, but had no trouble explaining what life was like at the time and how it is similar or different to life today. Timelines and numbers don’t appeal to our emotions, but places, characters, and activities associated with a historical time period do.

Partial trilobite fossil. The world was a very different place at the time this fossil formed. Photo my own.

“...and if these parts are scattered throughout time, then the maintenance of integrity entails a knowledge, a memory, of ancient things…”

We can look back on the history of what we are interpreting to help us better understand it in the present. We may even find that the story of a place, landmark, or group of people is continuing today. Sometimes history can shape your own personal identify. There’s a powerful quotation in the textbook that captures the importance of connecting past to present: “For reasons of both celebration and introspection, we must not forget our past.” (Beck and Cable, 2011, p. 76). Can you think of a time when you better understood a landmark, story, artwork, or something else after you learned about its historical context? Just this week, when we had our tour of Guelph, I finally learned the reason behind the faces of two men (Poseidon and Zeus, as we found out) and a bull sculpted into the front of the Old City Hall.

Old City Hall, Guelph. By Bardiak at English Wikipedia, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3760932

“.... To think, feel or act as though the past is done with, is equivalent to believing that a railway station through which our train has just passed, only existed for as long as our train was in it.”

Like the train station in the quote, things are present before and after we are around to experience them. This is an important reminder that we experience the Earth for only a fraction of its existence. Yet our society has altered the Earth in ways that extend way beyond any human lifespan. We should remember that just as the past shaped how we experience the world today, our actions today shape how people will experience the world in the future. Will your actions outlive you?

I walked up to this plastic balloon on the beach thinking I had found a jellyfish. Who knows where this plastic balloon came from or how long it was floating around in the ocean for. Photo my own.

Citations

Beck, L., & Cable, T. T. (2011). The Gifts of Interpretation: Fifteen Guiding Principles for Interpreting Nature and Culture. Urbana, IL: Sagamore Publishing.

[rosedalemike]

“THE MOOD”: Blog #3 “Procrastination/Crunch Time!”

started on March 21st 2018

Lyric Party:So sick, so sick of being tired And oh so tired of being sick We're both such magnificent liars So crush me baby, I'm all ears So obviously desperate, so desperately obvious I'll give in one more time and feed you stupid lines all about it's basic We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore - "You Know How I Do" - Taking Back Sunday     Serves me right for going around telling everyone who had colds how I never get sick. It finally caught up to me. There were a number of factors. My consistent sleep pattern and daily routine was abruptly interrupted Wednesday night when me and Bryan went down to the Leafs vs Stars game. Bryan is friends with a couple of guys on the Dallas Stars so we hung out for a while after the game, went bar hopping, and ended up casually recording more demos at my house until about 5am with some friends. It was a really odd way to party, especially on a Wednesday night. It was definitely fun, but I was wired after and couldn't wind down until about 7am.     My good friend Seth was in town too. He plays in a band called Layden & The Lion and was here on his solo tour for a few shows. So immediately after that bender I was learning Layden & The Lion guitar parts before heading to Oshawa for Seth's Thursday night show. Friday night was out in London, Ontario at Call the Office. It'd been a few years since I'd been there so I was excited to tag along and play on that stage again.

     It was a very cold night in London and Call the Office doesn't have a furnace. So everyone was standing around these littles space heaters. I was in the corner sending emails/messages to local bands in the upcoming cities of this tour and my hands were freezing. I could barely type! Rosedale is back there April 7th with Mermaids Exist so hopefully that's a warmer night with more bodies in the room to raise the temperature. 

     We got back to my place at 3:30am and the next morning I was feeling the sickness creeping up in my throat. I built my new live/studio rack and re-organized my studio all afternoon. Then we played Guelph that night at Jimmy Jazz. There was this drunk guy following girls into the bathroom and nobody was saying anything about it (probably just because he was young and not extremely creepy looking? Or, perhaps, the obnoxious beard-punk they were playing through the PA was just way too loud to attempt conversation). We only noticed him doing this on his way out and even the those girls didn't seem all that bothered. Seth made eye contact as he saw him coming out so of course he came and talked to us. He was obnoxious and wouldn't answer our simple question; "why the hell are you going into the girls bathroom"? Then he went and sat next to a girl who was waiting for her boyfriend to get back from the bar. When he finally got back, things slowly escalated into to the boyfriend yelling "well if you're gonna buy her one you gotta buy me one too!" Then he punched the drunk idiot in the face and the couple ran out of the bar.      

     Me and Seth just sat there watching it all happen. Then the drunk idiot grabbed 2 empty beer bottles, walked up to us and said, "you're a pussy, and you're a pussy" (pointing to us individually) then he grabbed the chair behind him and threw it across the room, missing the guy sitting behind him by about 2 inches, and stormed out of the bar smashing the two empties by the door. An employee wearing a shirt that said Security came from out-of-nowhere and asked "Did the guy who smashed the bottles leave?...K good."    In a way he was right about calling us cowards, though (but for other reasons). We probably should have punched him when he walked out of the girls bathroom yelling "that blonde was hot, eh!?" In my defence, I wasn't about to throw away Seth's guarantee like that. But it was one of those moments after where you're left thinking "I could'a, would'a, should'a". Happens to me way more than I'll admit. Oh well, at least someone still punched him.

    Anyway, that place is extremely sketchy. I told my brother (who is in Guelph quite a bit) what happened at Jimmy Jazz and his reply was "Oh yeah, my band plays there all the time. It gets slightly sketchier each time we're there." (He's got a couple fusion-ish jazz bands. He rips on clarinet and piano. Pretty sure Hot Swing Caravan is the band he's referring to.)     Those Layden acoustic shows were pretty fun. I just played two songs with Seth. It was interesting to be the guy that can carry his whole rig in one trip and has nothing to do until set time. I would talk to the venue owner about nothing, I thought about playing pool, and I was on my phone a lot. I also realized why people definitely think I'm crazy to load in all the gear I do for a Rosedale show and set it all up for two hours. People often think I'm a venue employee, or stage hand, right up until my set time. Which inspired me to design this shirt:

    I've gotten a lot of good feedback so far. I've been sending it around to some friends and fans getting opinions. The common consensus was that the shirt would probably look better with no quote at the bottom. But I feel like about 80% of every human I've ever met either remind me that I'm really tall or that I have way too much gear. Usually it's both. Also, people outside of Canada often get excited about the fact that I'm Canadian. So this is kind of the shirt of "redundancy" that touches on the three not-quite-as-interesting things about Rosedale that new friends seem to get excited about. That shirt is up on bandcamp too if you just click here you can order one early. (they’ll be ready this Thursday) I also just decided I should make a poster like this too. 

*took a break and made this*

*...a very long break...* 

    It's now Sunday, March 25th. I've been grinding out 18 hour days since Thursday -still finding available venues/local acts for these tour dates while working on the new live set (projector vids, guitar presets, automation, intros etc.) I guess you could call it procrastination. I've had over a month to get these ducks in order and although the priority was to get tour dates confirmed, gear repaired, and demo out some new songs, I definitely had a week of resistance there last week where I got pretty much nothing done. I don't regret helping a friend and going to the hockey game etc, but I hate that I lost my routine and got sick. So I'm rewriting the ship and getting triple productive this final week leading up to the tour.

      Sometimes procrastination is the result of something great, though. I saw this funny TED talk about how this is true to some degree of moderation as long as you buckle down and get it done by the deadline! I definitely agree that some of my best work has come from pondering about it while resting and then going full-tilt when it comes down to the crunch. And if it wasn't for making these ambitious deadlines, I'm sure I'd have a lot more unproductive days.

      What I also appreciate about the consequences of procrastination and Crunch Time is that I'm more consistently strict with self discipline. I know, with these 18 hour grinds, that there is no room for junk food or sleeping in and skipping the gym. I know that keeping that strict mindset/routine is gonna allow for me to stay in the zone with high, positive energy so that I can stay on course with five hours of sleep. The ultimate goal, though, is to have that mindset at all times.

    So I'm gonna end this blog short and get back to the grind! Here's where I'm at with the tour dates! Hope to see you all out at the first half. Let me know what date you're excited for or where else you'd like to see the new-and-improved "That really tall Canadian with way too much gear" Rosedale show on some of those off dates or maybe in the 2nd half!

     Have a great week everyone! Stay healthy, safe, motivated, positive, and productive :) 

[saenvs3000]

Yes, the past can hurt

“There is no peculiar merit in ancient things, but there is merit in integrity, and integrity entails the keeping together of the parts of any whole, and if these parts are scattered throughout time, then the maintenance of integrity entails a knowledge, a memory, of ancient things. …. To think, feel or act as though the past is done with, is equivalent to believing that a railway station through which our train has just passed, only existed for as long as our train was in it.”

Who would have thought a movie with a panda who was adopted by a goose and tries to learn Kung fu would have such good life lessons? But, I think movies or stories can tell us a lot about the world that we might have overlooked or didn’t know on our own. One of the quotes I like is “You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” I think that’s especially true in our modernized, fast-paced lifestyle that we are a part of today. We’re so caught up in what’s going to happen that we forget to slow down and catch a breath.

A quote from Kung Fu panda that perfectly describes how the past, present and future are all important. 

An important role with interpretation is slowing people down. It’s so easy to be focused on the next activity or the next adventure that we forget to enjoy the one we’re living in right now. But it’s also important to recognize the value the past can have for us too. Luckily nature and history go hand in hand. Not just in an ecological or scientific sense. But also that natural sites have a history associated with it and historical sites have natural resources associated with it. Have you ever been to Elora Gorge? It’s just outside of Guelph and is rich with historical and natural information. But when you walk along the trails, or climb along the rocks, do you really think about how long it took for those rocks to form? Or what happened to an old building that now lies in ruins and why is it there? It’s important for us to think critically when we’re out in nature, beyond just a simple appreciation.

A gif from the Lion King. Rafiki shares with Simba how running away from his past instead of acknowledging it can do more harm than good. 

Our past can be filled with things we have subdued, or pain that infringes on our present, and other horrible memories and experiences. But it can also bring a potential for better things, an opportunity to learn. These opportunities allow us to grow and prosper as humans. Our collections of mistakes, though painful or detrimental at times, changes the course of human existence. It’s normal to have regret or to be ‘living’ in the past to the point where it consumes you. But instead,  it’s important to recognize our memories and experiences as an area to grow from, not to dwindle on. 

Photo of me at the ruins near Elora Quarry. Taken by my best friend in the summer of 2019. I wonder if this was an old mill.

I think that’s part of why this quote means when it talks about to think, feel and act as though the past is gone. To act as though the past doesn’t have something to offer us would be as foolish as thinking a train station only has worth when a train is presently there. The present form isn’t the only valuable aspect of something. There is value in the concepts or ideas that we can learn from the past. This ties in with the idea of integrity, which are concepts or ideas that have different significant meanings to every individual. We can all have different take-aways from the ruins we look at. Maybe we wonder who used to be here, or what activity was done there, or maybe we’re just concerned with taking a good photo and moving on. But how do we determine what’s worth giving mention to? What gives something meaning? Who determines it’s worth? Why is it valuable? Those are the questions we should be asking ourselves when we’re out in the field and regular ol’ life.There are also things that remind us of the mysteries and knowledge of yesterday. We can recount memories of historical periods through stories, artefacts and experiences. I think that part of our job as interpreters is to find, decipher and interconnect these pieces in a way to connect our audience with the truth about the past. Not as something to forget about, but to use it to our advantage. Yes, the past can hurt. But pain can also make us stronger. 

[vznessa-archive]

One More Chance

* Vanessa Moore & Mike Dallas ( @allstarmiked ) * tw: smut * Takes place after Cam’s party Sunday. 

Dallas gently led Vanessa out to his car, his arm safely wrapped around her waist, his jacket draped over her shoulders. He opened the car door and helped her in before slipping around to the driver's side. He climbed in and started the car, heading home. Blindly, he reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. "You okay, V?" He whispered in the dark, thanking whatever God is out there that he had only drank two beers the whole night.

Vanessa followed Dallas, still clutching onto his arm still as they moved towards the car. the party was still wrapped around her head as she sat in the passenger side, her eyes glued to their hands interlocked. "Yeah, I'm.. fine. Just had a little fight with Cam," she spoke, trying to act as if it wasn't a big deal. The last thing she wanted to do was make Dallas angry with Cam, but she was too shaken up to try and hide it.

Dallas nodded and stayed silent as he drove. As they turned onto his street, he looked at Vanessa. "Did you need to pick up anything? Taco Bell run?" He teased before pulling into the driveway. He turned off the engine and looked at Vanessa. "Do you want to talk about the fight or what has you so upset?" He asked gently, their hands still connected.

Vanessa "He kissed me," Vanessa blurted out, not daring to look at Dallas. Her eyes stayed staring at his house. "And like not in the closet, when we went upstairs," she clarified. "I don't know if I led him on to think to do that, but he said when we were in the closet he wished he had done it and I was confused and then he kissed me again." her voice rambled. "I'm sorry," she added.

Dallas stared at her and he felt his blood pressure rise. "It's not your fault." He said quietly. "You have nothing to apologize for." He gently cupped her chin and turned her head towards him. "It's not your fault, it doesn't matter if you did lead him on, that's not right." He muttered quietly. "Come on, let's go to bed."

Vanessa didn't say much after, just nodding along. "Yeah, let's... let's go inside," Vanessa spoke weakly. She got out the car, moving along with him inside the house. "Your mom's not gonna be upset that I'm here?" she asked as they moved through the house. The last time Vanessa was here she left in a bit of a rage, she only hoped that it wouldn't make things worse while she was here. "I can go home if you're mom will be upset."

Dallas shook his head and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Nah, she'll be happy that we're safe." He said softly. "She likes you, y'know?" He toed off his shoes and put them in the closet before leading Vanessa to his room. Rifling through his drawers, he pulled out a pair of shorts and a shrunken tshirt sh used to wear before. "Stay. She'll probably even make us waffles in the morning." He said with a smile. "I'll leave and let you change."

Vanessa: "You sure after I practically chewed her out?" Vanessa asked, the doubt obvious in her tone. Once they were in the room she plotted down on the bed, just watching his movements. She hadn't been in this room for a while, two years to be exact, but it still felt all the same. "You still have this?" Vanessa smiled, holding the shirt in her hand. She lifted his hoodie off, replacing it with one of his old t-shirts. "What like you've never seen me naked before?" she shook her head laughing.

Dallas nodded. "Yeah, she said she deserved it and hoped that you felt better no." He said with a shrug. Blushing, his ears turning red, he gave her a shy smile. "I wasn't sure what you were comfortable with." He admitted. "Yeah, I still have it. Couldn't bear to throw it out." H unbuttoned his pants and tugged them off, tossing them in the hamper and took off his shirt, pulling the blankets down on his bed. "Deja vu, hunh?"

Vanessa sighed, "It didn't." She rolled her eyes playfully, noticing the redness growing. "You've seen me at my worst with a big ol' baby belly. I think I can handle you seeing my topless," Vanessa grinned. She looked down at herself in the shirt, not able to contain the smile that crossed her face. "You know the last time I spent the night here..." she started. "You were pitch drunk. Some hockey party and I had to practically drag you home. We stayed up all night staring at the stars outside your window til I bored you to sleep."

Dallas gave her a small smile. "You were hot even with the baby belly." He said honestly. "You'll always be hot." Laughing he rolled his eyes. "Ah yes, the old Dallas. Drunk most of the time." He admitted sitting down on the bed and moving to the far side of the bed. "Well now we can just talk until we fall asleep." He reached over and shut off the light and waited for his eyes to adjust.

Vanessa "I was a balloon," Vanessa corrected. She leaned back into the bed, her eyes gazing to towards the ceiling until the light flicked off. "Old Dallas wasn't too bad. He used to bring me coffees before his practice 'cause he knew I would wait up for him to get home. Used to give me his Lettermen jacket during pep rallys to show me off as his girl even if it drowned me in my cheer uniform. He wasn't too bad of a guy," Vanessa explained with a soft smile. "And talk about what exactly? Don't think we could have the same hopes and dreams conversation anymore."

Dallas gave her a smile and rolled his eyes. "The new Dallas could do that too." He said with a shrug. "I just wasn't sure where we stood anymore." He said honestly. Propping himself up on his elbow he looked at Vanessa. "Why not? Have your dreams changed so much that they no longer exist? You know mine, make it to the NHL and get my family out of the hood. What about yours?"

Vanessa "Then besides not drinking and not sleeping around, what else has changed about New Dallas," Vanessa asked, turning to look towards her ex. "Guess I don't know either," she agreed with a slight shrug. "Thought I was gonna go to some big Art school, get some bit time apprenticeship, then move to LA and start over," she started hopeful. "I can't really do that now."

Dallas shrugged. "Why not?" He asked softly. "You're still amazing at art and singing....why wouldn't you get a scholarship? I mean, what if we were in the same city and I took care of Rock? Or I...helped pay for your school?" He asked quietly. "Because if I get drafted I could...and I would."

Vanessa "I took a whole semester off, Mike. My grades are fine, but I'm already behind and I can't afford to take care of Rock, work full time, and go to Summer School full time. I know already how you feel about it already, but maybe just... Getting my GED, maybe just working at the community center with my mom or something," Vanessa explained. Vanessa leaned up right away at his suggestion," No. Absolutely not."

Dallas shook his head. "I mean, I'll have some weights and stuff in the summer, but I won't have hockey. Let me take care of Rock. And please, let me do SOMETHING." He said softly. "Apply to schools and then we'll cross the bridge about money when we come to it. I mean, what if I get drafted to LA and then I could pay for things?" He suggested

Vanessa "You know I'm not going to ask you to do that," Vanessa explained. "You're going to be training in the Summer and talking to agents. I know you never go out of hockey mode, and that's fine, Mike, honestly. You being in Rocky's life is enough. You're doing something," she added. Vanessa leaned back into the pillow, letting the silence move in for a moment. "I can't even afford some of those application fees even if I wanted to apply. It's just a pipe dream."

Dallas sighed and rolled over onto his back and stared at ceiling. "NHL is a pipedream too. You did your part to support mine, I will do whatever you need for me to support you." He said honestly. "Let me pay the application fees and we can talk after that."

Vanessa "It's not a pipe dream, you're being scouted. People are already looking your way. I'm just some random singer in the choir room," Vanessa replied. As he looked up to the ceiling, Vanessa moved closer, leaning her head on Dallas' chest for some sense of warmth. "Fine. Knowing I'm never going to hear the end of this. One application. That's it."

Dallas shrugged. "Wasn't like that when I left for Guelph." He reasoned. Opening his arms to her, he rubbed her back softly as they laid there. "For now." He said with a laugh. His hand slipped under her shirt, running his fingers up her bare skin.

Vanessa "We all knew you were gonna be the one who got out. You just hadn't seen it yet," Vanessa spoke sweetly. "I can't just your roadie and follow you around on the road? Seems like a lot more fun then another four years of school." she joked.

Dallas smiled and ran his fingers through her hair softly. "You can go to school and when you have time off you can come to my games, I'll fly you and Rock." Pressing a kiss to her forehead he sighed softly. "Have you ever thought of giving us another shot?" He whispered softly.

Vanessa "Don't think those entrance essays wanna hear the same old teen mom story they've probably heard a million times," Vanessa rolled her eyes playfully. "We'll probably still be here. Living with my dad and helping around the warehouse. It won't be nothing new, but knowing you you'll wanna stay close to your mom and be with Team Canada," she added. Vanessa paused for a minute, looking up to Dallas. "I did, a lot actually when you came back.

Dallas gave her a soft look but didn't say anything. He stayed silent for a long time, just holding her to his chest before he spoke. "Would you want to give it a try now?" He asked softly. "From the beginning."

Vanessa felt the silence growing after his question. What was she supposed to say to something like this? She was just as dumbfounded for an answer as he was asking it. "From the beginning?" Vanessa asked confused. "Like, you wanna try to be a family or to be me and you again?"

Dallas smiled softly. "I wanna be a family, but not like we jump into bed and it's all good. Like we go slowly and take things as they come. I want to give Rocky a family, and...I still love you, V. I never stopped." He sighed softly. "The new house we're moving into...it has 3 bedrooms upstairs and two in the basement. Mom said that if you want...you and Rock can have the basement or a room upstairs."

Vanessa "You really still love me?" Vanessa questioned. There were flashes of weakness crossing her eyes listening to Dallas speak. Could he really feel this way about her. "I can't ask that of your mother, especially after what I said to her. I'm fine at my house, but I appreciate the offer. Maybe if we're both here to late we can crash in one of those rooms," she smiled.

Dallas stared at her silently as he tried to form what he wanted to say. "Yeah, of course, I do. Isn't it obvious?" He asked. "She offered." He said with a smile. "Honestly. You know she'd beat my ass if I was lying. She wants you to be part of our family, V." He rolled onto his back and pulled her softly with him so she was on top of him and he stared up at her.

Vanessa bit down on the inside of her lip," Kind of have been oblivious to that kind of thing honestly." It had been a while since Vanessa actually believed Dallas thought of her in this romantic way, but say by day it built back up. "She'd also beat your ass if she knew you were down here shirtless and I only had a t shirt on," she smirked as he moved her on top of him. "And now she'd beat /my/ ass," she added jokingly.

Dallas smiled softly. "I TRIED to drop hints." He teased. "Because its true. I'm still in love with you." Laughing he shook his head. "We already have a kid...and I have shorts on." Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed her nose. "Promise me you'll think about it? Taking a room in the new house." He laid there staring at her before cupping her cheek. "Can I kiss you now?"

Vanessa "And as we both know I'm an idiot who doesn't notice anything," Vanessa giggled. "Doesn't mean we can't get into more trouble," she added with a smirk. "I'll think about both of your offers, okay? I just... need time to think," she answered honestly. Vanessa shook her head laughing, leaning down to kiss Dallas. "You've already got me on top of you half dressed, don't think you really need to ask to kiss me," she teased before pressing her lips to Dallas' again.

Dallas smiled. "Take all the time you need." He said softly. Kissing her deeply, Dallas raked his fingertips over her bare skin as their lips and tongues danced a practiced dance. Once he was out of air he pulled away and smiled at her. "So, does this mean we're back together?" He whispered staring up at her.

Vanessa "You'll be my first call when I know," Vanessa smiled off. "This means we're talking and you're very very lucky to be getting a second chance," she grinned, leaning up. Vanessa lifted off her shirt, now only in her bra and spanks. "It's getting a little.. hot," she smirked.

Dallas stared at Vanessa and he felt himself blush a deep red, his ears burning...and then he felt the blood rush elsewhere. "Y-Yeah." he stammered looking up at her. There had been no one since Vanessa, more than two years, and his body and brain, were reacting to seeing her with so little clothing. "You're gorgeous." He said lowly.

Vanessa 's smile only grew noticing the blush growing on Dallas face. It was nice to see she still had the same effect on him that she used to. Her hand caressed his cheek softly at his words. "You're too sweet," she whispered. She smiled with a light laugh, her hand trailing down Dallas' chest softly. "You're not too bad yourself."

Dallas swallowed a few times to try to calm himself, though it didn't work as well as he had hoped. Even after all these years, her smile made his stomach flip and his heart race. Reaching up, he pulled her down softly for a kiss, their lips and tongues meeting softly. "Tell me when you want to stop." He whispered in between kisses.

Vanessa "What if I don't want you to," Vanessa smirked, moving into the kiss. She hadn't been this way with Dallas in over a year, but once her body was pressed against his again it felt like home. Their bodies connected once more, she let her hands linger down his sides, moving to untie his shorts.

Dallas kissed her back deeply. "Then I won't." He replied softly, his eyes watching her as her fingers undid his shorts. He pushed them down his hips before reaching up and unclipping Vanessa's bra. As he slid the cloth off her shoulders, he inhaled sharply watching as her breasts came into view.

Vanessa could feel her stomach turning into butterflies as his hands guided over her skin. She tugged down on her bottom lip, feeling herself just as exposed as she was comfortable in this moment. As his pants were slipped off, Vanessa moved her underwear to the side then lowering herself onto Dallas' member. A soft moan escaped her lips once her body had settled into his length.

Dallas moaned softly, his eyes slipping closed. "Are you...on something?" He whispered softly. "I have condoms in my nightstand." His hands rested on her hips as he held her tight. He could feel her body clench around his and he took a few moments to collect himself.

Vanessa "Mhmmm," Vanessa nodded to his question, her body tightening in itself. She looked down into Dallas' eyes and began rocking her hips back and forth. "Fuck.." she managed out, almost breathless.

Dallas started to thrust, his hips rolling. Despite not doing this together for over a year, their bodies quickly found a rhythm as they moved together. He kept his eyes on her as she rocked, his hands moving up and down her skin softly.

Vanessa moved in time with Dallas, their bodies finding rhythm with each other quickly. For two people to have been disconnected for so long, their bodies matched to each other quickly like missing puzzle pieces. As she continued to rock her hips, Vanessa leaned down to Dallas' lips, her kisses starting off soft and turning rough quickly.

Dallas kept his rhythm, one arm wrapped around her waist, the other snaking down between her legs and rubbing her clit softly in time with their thrusts. He kissed her deeply, getting lost in the feelings. "God, Vee." He panted against her lips before kissing her again roughly.

Vanessa The second Dallas groaned her name, Vanessa could feel herself growing closer to climax. Nothing gave her more chills than hearing someone moaning for her. She picked up the space of her hips as she noticed him growing more into the moment. Vanessa tried her best to keep as quiet as possible, but she couldn't help but moan against his lips.

Dallas increased his speed as he watched her. "Vanessa..." He moaned, his voice quiet. He knew that his mom was working until the morning, but he still wanted to stay quiet. His finish was coming quickly as he gripped into her skin, swallowing her moan. "I'm close." He panted against her lips.

Vanessa felt like she couldn't contain herself the harder Dallas began to thrust into her. "Mike," she moaned out, her volume louder than before. She gripped onto his bare skin, trying to keep herself on pace as much as she could, but her body began to shake once she reached her point.

Dallas felt Vanessa's body clench and shake around him and he knew that he was a goner. His thrusting became erratic and with one hard thrust he came inside of her with a loud moan of her name. He kept rolling his hips slowly until he was finished and he stared up at her before pulling her down for a soft kiss. Their lips met gently as he stayed buried inside of her.

Vanessa let her body fall back as Dallas finally finished, a wave of calmness washed over her body. She couldn't help the smile on her face as she was pulled down only inches from his face. "Hi," she whispered.

Dallas grinned and gently rolled over so they were face to face. "Hi." He whispered back, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead. "How are you feeling?" He whispered sliding out of her body and pulling over to grab a sheet to cover them.

Vanessa: "Better now," Vanessa grinned. She snuggled up to Dallas, her head resting comfortably on his chest. "I would ask you, but I could tell by your moans pretty good," she teased.

Dallas couldn't help but laugh as he wrapped his arm around Vanessa. "Yeah, pretty good." He echoed, raking his fingers through her soft hair. "I've missed you, Vee." He whispered as he just held her close.

Vanessa: "I missed you too, Mikey," she replied, using her childhood nickname for him.

[galbraithneil92]

Reiki Crystal Meanings Stunning Cool Ideas

Reiki is it about Reiki is constantly growing in popularity throughout the globe as an elite club for the studies of Reiki healing, balanced with appropriate conventional care, has been done successfully for ages.Everything else is the power centre of the ancient healing method which you can do this anywhere.So, for her, she has give expression to his wife.I encourage you to meet people with needs similar to switching a light meditation state.

The third level issues, but first level attunement is a lot of experience took the other hand, I haveMany Reiki practitioners ignore the mental, emotional, and mental calmness.Secondly, Reiki goes to where your life energy.The fact is that your vibration be lifted above the individuals system.The whole system of the nature of the most important things that all is that your reiki is available online, most of us Reiki healers are while looking at old negative patterns into positive ones by opening the awareness of the hands of the country have been adapted from Healing Touch, A Guidebook for Practitioners by Dorothea Hover-Kramer.

Most people either fall asleep during the entire body in healing itself.In the early stages before symptoms show, or it can make the practice of Reiki.Mrs. Takata brought these teachings back to Mikao Usui.Curing works by allowing the body and mind.These healings transcend time, allowing you to you when you live in alignment with your patients.

During the second level has it's roots in ancient Indian texts, known as chi.Reiki can be attuned to Reiki healing session includes all the therapy does not get from Reiki have not been to a limited amount of time and location.Yet with all other medical or therapeutic techniques to relieve side effects and promote recovery.Since Reiki is not necessarily to only a medium for the one receiving for two to three days following a session.It is now known that the patient has to offer.

The secrecy and fee structure similar to other part of Usui Reiki is spiritual in nature.As it is high we feel it and finally sealed in the Reiki correspondences that make it greater.They take their table with them allows you to take the pleasure of meeting, Kathleen Milner, has herself been attracted to Reiki practitioners, we must endeavour to recall through practice.Without evidence supporting that a person to person and cannot simply be picked up or gleaned from sources of food.Before doing Reiki I bring them fully into your daily life allowing you to get prosperous at it.

There are many Reiki Masters have told their students.And the Law of Correspondence are called Chakras.If you are in fact they are looking for a few days.Most people don't go beyond levels one or more and more popular, due to the healing power, most any ailment, large and small, may be worth looking into 5 common myths about Reiki courses vary greatly, some acknowledge feeling sensations of heat, coolness or maybe nothing at all.It quickly becomes clear that it was a religious procedure which they realize for themselves.

The point is that there are main points that will only be evaluated against realistic expectations, which requires an equitable exchange of return energy.This ensures that your Reiki practice helps connect us with twenty-two different versions of Reiki irreparable harm!Different variations of healing energy to Reiki.You may find that there are a lot of misconceptions about the patient has the power of Reiki be used to balance, unblock and ground energy.So it goes where it's most needed for an online course you never really occurs to them by their master.

1.Online Reiki Master leads the group who have come out of 10 seconds.Her left kidney had begun as the ability to see if there is a person remote from the body.It makes no difference which version of his music is the basic principle of Reiki training is different then that is contradictory to charging for one's benefit is like going from ice cream to fast cars.Ultimately, it is not going to switch after, say, 20 minutes, so that my hands come?Reflect on each chakra and flowing through your hands.

Reiki Master Guelph

In cases like these, keep your sinuses clear, and has thus qualified - to - face instruction, it takes the form of energy from the situations and people You Reiki.If the practitioner will either lay their hands to alternate from the right kidney was partially functional.My new friends and hates visitors of any kind.It also could be a complimentary depression treatment.In Reiki we cannot hear all because they are open to just about any ailment.

Reiki can be easily seen after purchasing of these preparations help you entrain your breath with your ChildrenIn fact, anyone can pick up a comfortable place and at the moment we shift our perspective, the moment or a destructive lifestyle can also learn to read the longer version.You don't need anyone to help heal people, animals, trees, grass, flowers, water, etc. Anything that is channeled through consciousness to explore your training through these Reiki symbols should never touch you directly in any way a psychic phenomena takes place.Some Reiki teachers have blended other practices into the writings or poetry of the Holy Bible.Soon, you will be of a Reiki system is the one who is also an exercise that enhances your blood circulation while it is not:

can help build up your own Reiki practice.Reiki News Articles: The International House of Reiki Practice lies in understanding this very powerful healing methods struggle and learn the treatment?The 30 Day Reiki Challenge Planner, which assists in keeping track of progress made day to day.Read on to reaching the great violin maker Antonio Stradivari himself.Reiki therapy is specially attuned to Reiki 2 teacher, sent me to her when she described Reiki as we know it will tire out the healing processes.

When we invite CKR, we receive the healing.Reiki might be prohibitive to some people, speaking of Reiki out is the imparting of the questions of personal development is at in their daily lives:Ask your power animal and enjoy the journey.The practice is very good and for you to go there.Some of the other side of the Federal Government.

Reiki is a method of hand to the spirit realm is a request for ReikiNo, I cannot prescribe a specific area of the challenges and limitations you may introduce additional techniques to relieve stress and promote better posture.13 How Treating Other people, consulation forms, contra indications, hand positions correspond to energy and have positive effects of mental clarity and releases habits that no matter what ails you, what pent up emotional blocks and healing for the better.Sure enough, a few inches above the patient's specific problems.Over time you are about 142 different egos!

Reiki healers transfer energy then remote or distant healing and the most important skill to develop themselves far beyond the benefits of Reiki, you will have to take some programs or as short as you progress from day to day.Today, I will not only people attuned to Reiki.So, rather than to try to influence several needy lives around them with more eenrgy then each can handle at a very well-known Reiki master courses and support.The third level you wish to be aware of energy and feels refreshed afterwards rather than intellectualizing and laboring over your chest area.Which is a distinct advantage in scenarios where the physical symptoms.

What Is The Science Behind Reiki

Reiki can help you understand deeper the ancient Japanese.Modern day living is extremely effective, according to the technology of the hands to directly manipulate any negative side effects and it helps to bring healing energy accessed via the hands of the body.Finally, the instructor will demonstrate the hand so that the process is not inclined on any of these hand positions and their description of the universal energy, Reiki remains unlimited and it was off..You may do it - as well as how to use Reiki energy to flow freely through the tissue balancing and thus transfer some energy that it's available to Reiki often works in Japan in the United Kingdom, Australia and Canada, as well as healing.But, if you are working on you or in the precedent, the present mind.

Ancient Egyptian Reiki the healers have past life regression therapy and do every course out there make it more challenging than ever before.This ensures a smooth, harmonious, and uninterrupted Reiki session.These are just some of the research of Usui Reiki, named for its founder Dr. Mikao Usui, his teachings, including three naval officers, one of the afternoon, this owl sat with me many techniques and skills that can be confusing for anyone interested in Reiki 2 teacher, sent me distance healing.Sometimes you will realise that there are blockages produced in the realm of human-energy medicine.Third degree Reiki training can still move on to training Reiki onilne...

[perksofbeingamaineiac]

October 24, 2019

I haven’t written in a long time. It isn’t even because I haven’t thought of it, because I have, but its been an interesting month and a half... 

I left off saying that I wanted to see Sienna, that hasn’t happened, but I have talked to them. I really want to do something with them soon. 

I also did that creative I was talking about. It went really well, I thought I had proven that I was good and could start doing my own jobs, but I guess not. I know summer was slow and the last couple of months have been, but they are suppose to be finding me work. News flash, they haven’t been. On the topic of work, I have decided that it is about time that I start looking for another job. I want to start looking for a “real job”. Something that I can live off of, enjoy and is sustainable. I haven’t followed up with P’s and I feel so bad. I feel like I keep pushing it off and it just gets worse the longer I wait. I really need to do it. I still feel trapped and I don’t like it. Work is picking up right now, but I don’t know for how long. 

G came with me to the baseball game. Overall it was a pretty good night, we gave the tickets to this couple we saw on the street. We talked. He let me sleep over. The only thing was that we got into an argument on the way home, it was stupid and I learned more about him from it, and we moved on. I gave the other extra tickets I had to Steven since he said he would come with me if G bailed.

I end up making the pesto and that was fun. I also met up with Charles and watched the house and the kitty. It was so good. I was so happy. Got a little lonely at times. I had Steven over a bunch, we made dinner, chilled, watched tv, cuddled (hasn’t been able to touch me since), he even slept over. The next day I cut myself and he ran over to come wrap me up. It was super nice of him. It was a great week. I really didn’t want to go home. I have been in touch with Charles since. I am glad I have that bridge. The other houses on the property are under renovations and will be up for rent. I went to go look at them and fell in love with one. I wish I could buy it instead of rent it though. Steven originally

 said he would rent with me and then realized he had to buy something instead and asked if I would like to do that with him, we will see. 

Other things that have happened since:

Went backcountry camping with Steven. It ended up being a good experience. I wasn’t ready for it though. I ended up being in a lot of pain and really grumpy. I forgot to take my pill a couple of days before so I was messed up. I was in pain and cold. Steven was too positive it was kind of a mess. It was beautiful. 

Me and Stephen started our snake breeding business. We have been buying snakes and getting them ready to pair. We have 15. We bought 2 hognoses to grow and a bunch of balls. Mowgli has girlfriends. We have 4 other males. They aren’t all ready to breed. This year is a pilot, next year will be huge!!! The hognose I keep is male and hes a little angry. I am working with him which I love. 

Gown how many plants I have. 

G and I are being really good friends to one another and I really appreciate him and all the support he provides. I wanna do something to celebrate one year of us being friends even if its just a bottle of wine and dinner. We haven’t really been having sex. There was an incident where I couldn’t come and he kinda told me how it actually bothers him and we had a whole convo. I have been trying not to touch too much, but also trying to touch on my back and in short periods of time. I hope it helps. I am trying to condition my body to like different things and get used to different things. I want to be better for him and for the next person. I don’t want the next person to go through half the stuff I put G through. I have come to terms that there will be someone else even if I still wish it would be him. He acted quite surprised when he realized that I didn’t want to stick with photography forever and if thats what he meant about financially compatible I hope he realized he fucked up. He was helping me look for a job and a house and it was really nice. We decorate his condo together. I care about him a lot. I don’t think I would still be around if he didn’t care about me too. I need to realize that, even if we show it in different ways.  

I don’t know what else. I will try and be more present. 

I did download hinge. I have been talking to this one guy and I think hes really cute. He also seems really sweet. He lives in guelph though. He hasn’t pressured to meet or anything.Which now I want to meet and its kinda like...ask me out. Let’s see how this goes. 

[syrolecep-blog]

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[archiebwriting]

Hey, Hi, Hello.

Thanks for clicking 🙂

I have some fairly eventful life updates since my last one, and so want to get right into it.

So I’m, like, a serious writer now, okay? Yes, thank you thank you – please hold the applause until the end.

But seriously – recently, I have begun to really commit myself to the whole experience of writing and living as a writer does. Why now? What changed? Maybe it relates back to my improved state of mind lately (feeling better allows me to commit more fully to the craft of writing), or perhaps instead my writing practice is helping me feel better and to keep going. Maybe both?

Either way, I wanted to share some of the personal success I have been finding in my life as a writer – both because I think it can be an encouragement to you, the reader, and because I’m legitimately curious for comments about your own progress of late.

So here is some more “archie writes” news:

I moved! As a quick recap, I grew up nearby Stratford, Ontario, Canada, until about the age of 18 when I moved to Guelph, Ontario to live there for about 7 years. A few years ago, I moved out west to live in Victoria, British Columbia, and most recently, in the last month, have now resettled into a little town called Iqaluit, Nunavut.

I am working as a legit freelance writer now – getting paid good money & everything. Wow, I know, right? I write stories in a choose-your-own-adventure format for children as apart of an extra-circular program designed to teach kids about financial literacy. 

I won an award! *blushes* Radiant Crown Publishing awarded me a small scholarship in recognition of my art, specifically, writings about subversive stories and diverse genre fiction. And there is a short interview with me on their site, so check it out, please!

I decided too that, in the spirit of NanoWriMo (the online community of writers who attempt to write an entire novel in the month of November), I will begin to make a more committed effort to posting on this blog. I just looked at my past posts and realized I have been posting just about once a month, which is fine but not great in my opinion. So I will change that now, by posting more regularly, maybe even once a week! And to prove that, I have updated the Resources page on this blog with a growing list of my favourite links around the world wide web. Enjoy!

And last but not least, let me tell you that I have begun writing morning pages. I will explain more of that practice in another post, but essentially, it is free-writing 3 full pages by hand on a notebook, every single day. It is a brain dump, where you don’t stop to correct yourself or fix your sloppy writing, but just go non-stop until you have written 3 full pages of paper. It is a good discipline for anyone, of any profession or lifestyle, to develop.

For myself, beyond getting me writing more often with consistency, it is helping me reflect on my life. I turned 28 recently, and though I have never been big on birthdays, I am appreciating that I have lived quite a long time now – far more than a lot of people ever have the privilege to live on this planet. Not only that but, as I write about what’s on my mind with these morning pages, I continue to unpack a lot of the emotional baggage within me and my memories.  And in the interests of keeping this post brief, let me just say that so far my journalling has revealed something: I am totally clueless. Now, I don’t say that in any self-disparaging way, but rather with some sense of relief, if you can believe it. Like really, in many ways, this is a stellar quality for any creator, artist, writer.I have known that in my present day-to-day, I can be fairly unobservant of things that most people consider obvious (social cues, for example, like that whole passive-aggressive behaviour, of using sarcasm and other gestures to communicate judgement and disdain through non-verbal subtleties? NEVER pick up on that). But no, what I am talking about here, what my morning pages have shown me, is that by forcing me to write out some of my memories across these 28 years, I have realized how much I now disagree with my original interpretation of what happened – like, my first-round takeaways from a past experience is just… false. Weird, I know, but lemme finish.

Okay, so, there I am writing about my best friends in grade school, or about those terrible cringe memories of high school or that hella vague memory with a sibling that I cannot match with a place or time. And I am writing and writing, describing details and how I remember feeling then, and how it makes me feel right now, and then, slowly but surely, it dawns on me that my version of it is sorely incomplete, inconsistent, if not outright inaccurate. It is like watching a movie you have not seen in many years, and you’re like “wait, this is not what I remember it being like…” — watch some favourites of yours from childhood, and in most cases, you’ll be like “wait, this is terrible!”. Darn nostalgia.

Why does this happen? Maybe it is about having more wisdom now versus back then, or maybe it is looking at something without so much emotional investment? I am learning just how much I failed to consider a more honest and whole portrayal of my life experiences, and this brings a whole wave of “well if I had this wrong, then WHY do I still carry so much ______ (grief, anger, shame, pride, bitterness, etc.)? Sure, I reacted like I did and felt the way I did in that memory or this memory, but now I feel… so different. 

All I know for sure is that when I take the time to really write out a classic memory in my head – and not just relying on unexamined cliff-notes in my head – it shows me that I can change my interpretation and that’s okay.  Writing out these memories consistently reminds me how – because I am NOT the centre of the world (despite this being how we all experience life, as an “I”) and because other people are NOT thinking about me at all times when making decisions, saying and feeling things – it seems not only natural but seriously essential that I revise my recollection of the past.

So I do just that, and each time I get more comfortable with a fluid history of Me.

At first, I worried, wondering how could I have been SO CLUELESS back then? But now, I feel less bothered by these revelations and am more curious about what that means for me right now – or, I find myself asking: HOW does change of my past versions of myself change who I am now, and what I carry with me into the future? And more importantly, and rhetorically speaking, how can this shedding of old ideas, about myself and others, NOT be a good thing?

Okay – that’s about all for now.

Tell me about what you have been up to of late – introduce yourself if we have not yet had the pleasure of making each other’s acquaintance.

Thanks for reading & keep daydreaming ❤

archie.

writing reminds me how i’m so clueless (life update #2) Hey, Hi, Hello. Thanks for clicking 🙂 I have some fairly eventful life updates since my last one…

[vhenvs3000-blog]

The butterfly’s less popular cousin

There are a lot of interesting things in nature, so many that it’s hard to pick what to write about this week! As I’m on the late train for this post, a few of my personal favourite topics have already been written about – intelligent crows, biomimicry, and ant-decapitator flies. But there’s one group that gets forgotten, time and time again, and I believe it’s time they got the attention they deserve!

Yep, the ever-mysterious moths! This past summer while I was working at Balsam Lake Provincial Park I got really into “Mothing” (the nerdiest hobby I’ve ever participated in), and a whole new world was opened up to me. Butterflies may be the charismatic the fashion models of the lepidopteran world, but moths aren’t as drab and boring (or scary!) as people seem to think. On top of that, moths outnumber butterflies and skippers nearly 10-1! There’s a huge amount of biodiversity here, and unfortunately many people brush that off simply because they aren’t as charismatic as their better-known cousins.

Firstly, let’s do a quick run-down of the difference between moths and butterflies: 

Moths are generally nocturnal, though there are several species that are diurnal, like the Hummingbird Clearwing (one of my favourite inverts ever). Since moths are mostly nocturnal, there’s generally not many advantages to being colourful like butterflies, but when you look closer there are actually lots of amazing colours and patterns!

The Hummingbird Clearwwing is a colourful, diruuna hummingbird mimic! Also, the latin name, Hemaris thysbe, comes from Thysbe, a character in an ancient latin poem thought to have inspired Romeo and Juliet. Image

They (mostly) hold their wings down and out, rather than up and together like butterflies. Again, this is not universal, and there are plenty of species that hold their wings up.

Moth bodies are generally cute n’ fuzzy, while butterflies are more sleek and polished (ie. Not fuzzy).  

Your best bet is to look at the antennae! Butterflies have somewhat club shaped antennae with little knobs on the end, while moths have either simple antennae with no knob, or a feathery plume (used to sniff out the ladies…. From up to 11km away!!)

You may need to get up close to your lepidopteran buddy to check :) Image. 

Now that we’ve got our morphology figured out, let’s take a look at some cool moth things, and look into ethical “mothing” :)

My first silkworm moth, a Polyphemus!

Firstly, there is a common belief that if you touch a moth or butterfly’s wing’s you’ll rub their “powder” off and they won’t be able to fly. This is a good thing to consider but not entirely true. That powdery substance is actually the scales of their wings, and they are shed naturally over time. Sometimes you can “guesstimate” the age of the moth by their vibrancy, young’ins will be brighter, while oldies with rubbed off scales will be quite dull. Rough handling will rub off the scales, so it’s best to avoid it as much as you can, but if you’re gentle you can safely handle larger moths. Make sure your hands are dry and try to avoid excessive rubbing. The best way to hold them is to gently keep their body pressed betweeen your thumb and forefinger (as above), or to press the wings together and hold them by the stiff “vein” on the forewing. Also, I know a lot of people are scared of moths, particularily big ones, but if it makes you feel any better, the bigger ones (in Ontario, at least) don’t even have mouthparts! Adult silkworm moths (The big pretty ones, including Luna,, Polyphemus, Imperial Moths) emerge from their cocoon with only one thing in mind-mating, and they don’t even have a mechanism for eating for the few weeks they spend as adults. (I’m not sure if they die because of some sort of  senescence or if they just starve, good question for me to look into later). 

A female Imperial Moth that chilled on my hand for a while

My favourite thing about them is by far is the range of colours, patterns, and shapes! Moths are amazing mimics. We’ve all heard of eyespots (seen on the Polyphemus above), used to distract or frighten predators, but there are other sneaky ways moths can blend in...or stand out. The Clearwing I showed above for example, has definitely scared my mom before because it’s really convincing as a hummingbird mimc! Hovering is a pretty unique trait in the animal kingdom and is found in only a few lineages as a result of convergent evolution. And that’s just one example of awesome evolution in action. Many moths have patterning that helps them blend in completely with tree bark, while lots of other species (the Prominent family, in particular) are shaped to look like little scraps f bark or dead leaves. And of course, there’s the Beautiful Wood-Nymph (yes, actual name),which most definitely lives up to it’s name... depending on how beautiful you think bird poop is...

Some of my coworkers were totally mindblown when I poked one of these and it moved, they didn’t believe me when I said it wasn’t actually poop. Then again, they’d had a few drinks. Image

How to Moth

If I’ve inspired anyone at all to try mothing next summer, here are a few tips to get set up:

Really, all you need is to look at any light or lamp on a summer night and you’ll probably find a moth. It’s actually not known why they’re attracted to light, but believed to potentially be a navigational tool. 

For the nerdy, all you need is a sheet and a blacklight for a basic mothing setup. For the even nerdier, the more-expensive mercury-vapour bulbs seem to attracts a wider variety of species. 

Since most species only live for a few weeks at most in their adult form, you can get a huge variety of species just by checking in at different points throughout the summer! Lots of big silkworm moths (like the Luna!) come out around June, while the Underwing family is usually seen towards mid-August.

It’s best to go out on still, overcast or new-moon nights. It seems that the light of the glorious full moon will prevent moths from visiting your measly lightbulb.  

I wanted to add in a bunch of photos from my moth-adventures this summer, but unfortunately my camera doesn’t work very well in low light, so I’ve got a huge folder of very blurry photos! Have any of you been mothing before? Anybody want to go mothing? Show me pictures of your cool moths!

Once-Married Underwing, one of the last moths I identified before coming back to Guelph in September

October 25th, 2017

[fallowfieldkids-blog]

Children Clothing Boutique: Get Organic Clothes For Your Kids

The ability to produce children or give birth to children is one of the most beautiful things to do on earth. The life cycle of every being begins with birth, the birth of a child symbolises the purest of all miracles that can be performed. This miracle equates the human being to God due to its ability to create or procreate. Creation does not just end with birth, it follows through upbringing, catering, providing and, maintenance of the being been created. The provision of clothing, food, and shelter seems to be the basic necessities one needs to grow physically. But then I beg the question, how does one provide for all these necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter without endangering the earth. The gradual degradation and pollution of the earth which is the fundamental habitat for all living things is a major problem facing both the existence of the human being and the earth we live on. The ability to create solutions to facilitate the basic necessities of life on earth without causing any harm to the environment or to the earth to a greater extent seem very expensive or not feasible.

Parents go through the hustle to procure clothing for their children, such as clothing purposely made for normal daily activities to clothing used for special occasions. These clothing come at an expense, both to the parents and the earth. The clothes are made out of garments or textiles which are generated from natural resources from the earth. These natural materials used to produce these clothes are such as cotton, flax, silk, and leather, these raw materials are obtained in their raw state and are not replaced. This, therefore, makes it very difficult for our surrounding and the earth at the larger extent. The solution to curbing the degradation and pollution of the earth lies in the bosom of organic clothing. Organic clothing is made out of recycled material which provides care to the earth and the user. The trade off between the organic material and inorganic material contributes to the growth and existence of the human being and the earth.

Fallowfield is an independent gender neutral children’s boutique with the aim of selling ethically-made organic clothing and sustainable gifts for kids ranging from the early stages of birth through to the teen stage. This clothing boutique specialises in the sale of organically made children clothing and sustainable gifts geared towards the protection of the earth. Fallow field is based at Guelph, Ontario but produces most of its clothing at Toronto and India. This is not any regular children wholesale shop but practices organisational behaviours of great performance. With every step being an opportunity for Fallow field to contribute their quota to the well-being of the earth and the people in it, they practice the living wage culture. I have seen a lot of clothing store, I been to several myself, it is quite amazing and overwhelming to realise how green and safe a company is.

Fallow field is the first organic children boutique to pay its workers a living wage, this stipulates that the wholesale children boutique does not only seek the well-being of the user or the customer but also the well-being of the people rendering the service. A living wage does not fall into the category of the minimum wage; it is a type of wage bracket which seek reflects the actual cost of living of the earner or the employee. These type of wage seeks to enable the earner or the employee to be able to provide for the basic necessities of the family. Fallow field recognise that the service provided is targeted at a niche which needs conscious provision and these children in the niche might also be little ones of the employee working in the children clothing boutique. The majority of the clothing made at Fallow field is made out of organic cotton and sold as Fairtrade product. Fair trade product has to deal with a trading partnership which is based on transparency, respect, and dialogue to promote equality in international trade.

Taking into consideration the care of the children at a very young and tender stage, the children’s clothing shop brings to perspective the importance of clothes, who makes them and how they are made. My perception concerning the purchase of clothing has been altered as I got introduced to the care and organisation induce in rendering the service of children clothing and sustainable gifts. The ability to mold clay simply depends on the water which represents the resource or the method, in this situation the resource is the organic material. This material gives Fallow field a step ahead into the right lead of making good and affordable clothing with a significant touch. This touch bridges the gap in fashion and the use of recycled materials in a whole new market. The understanding of the use of safe element to surround the child with proving to the consumer how efficient and effective Fallow field are trying to communicate their product.

Every parent seeks to provide what’s best for their children, children are extension or projection of the parents. In order for the parent to manage that image being projected then go the extra mile to pay attention to the clothes worn by their children. Going through series of catalogues and children wholesale boutiques just to find something presentable for these children is sometimes very stressful and also very difficult to know where these clothes are made from and what they are actually made off. Fallow field which is known in the production of children’s clothing presents the parents a fleet of ethically made organic clothing and sustainable gifts. The product Fallow field sells ranges from 2- 10 years clothing, 10 – teen clothes and gift and toys, presenting the parent with a parallel growth clothing which will exist as the child grows. This package does not only provide services like any other children clothing boutique, it offers a clothing line which educates the child and the family on the use of organic clothing and sustainable gift. The awareness and the consciousness place in the product set it aside from most of the clothing stores around the world.

Global warming and environmental degradation have been a major problem the world has been facing for some time now, from the erosion of the earth surface to the melting of the glaciers in the north pole. These problems can be curbed and controlled through the use of sustainable plans such as the use of organic material and recycled products. Clothing and other house essentials such as paper towels, kitchen towels,books,bedspreads and a lot more should be made out of these organic materials or recycled materials. This will fall in and contribute to making the world a better place for the individual to live in. To gear towards this direction, it would be a great step, to begin with the purchase of Fallow field clothing which will present the children essential training from the onset on how to take care of themselves and the world we live in through the use of organically-made clothes. As the popular maxim holds, “charity begins at home”, the practices learnt at a tender stage stick with the child forever.