#NOW THATS A WHOLE ASS NEW SENTENCE BRO

[kerorowhump]

"Yeah, but I really don't feel like it."

[toshisae]

call me baby

summary: in which chenle gives you the entire world in exchange for some love

genre: crack, fluff and another pinch of angst 

theme: ceo!chenle (sugardaddy au but without the sexy shit its just he buys you things in exchange for you loving him ok? ok) 

word count: 2.8k

author’s note: HIIIII ITS BEEN A LONG ASS TIME SINCE I WROTE SOMETHING SO HERES THIS also theres no sexy time unless the sexy time u want is going on an endless shopping spree then this fic is for u!! its just another crack idea i had lol and this is just to get rid of writers block or smth despite having this in my drafts for the longest time

–

you know how people say not to chat with random strangers from the internet?

because it’s terrifying and shit??

well you never listened 

here you are on a friday night on your phone

looking for some 40 year olds to troll

on this sugar daddy app you randomly found one day

not like you needed money or whatever

you lived with your brother jaemin who’s a doctor

so i guess you could say u’re: $$$$

and it’s just that you have nothing to do

what’t the worst that could happen right?

ding!

your phone vibrates in your hand

it looks like you’ve matched with your designated sugar daddy

“congratulations! you’ve matched with 6chittaphon9”

you looked at his profile and saw that he’s a 23 year old dancer

not up for it, you swiped left

“give me the good shit bro” - you tell the phone

you clicked the globe icon on the bottom of the screen

it switched you to a radar where it scans for possible sugardaddies who use the app

a little later your phone dings again

“congratulations! you’ve matched with zhong$”

and when you clicked on his profile,,

you let out a big big gasp 

he’s a 18 year old ..

looking for.. sugar babies??

if you were drinking something then you would’ve spat out that liquid real quick

you swiped to the right and sent this dude a message

“hi”

ok so chenle right

chenle is the youngest billionaire in the world

bye kylie jenner oof

after his father’s passing, his company, zhongs inc. was in his hands

his father’s last wish was to have chenle get married at a young age

but chenle obviously didn’t like that idea

he wanted to experience a normal teenage life where he parties, drinks, date some random girls or whatever a pesky teenager does

so he found himself downloading a sugarbaby app

also just for the lolz like c’mon this is chenle the king of clownery

the c in chenle means clownery wbk

he had the money, the looks, almost anything you need for a man

so he quickly made his account

and not a minute later he already matched with someone named ‘<y/n3’

he sees that this y/n person already sent him a message

so obviously he replies

“hello”

you: asl?

chenle: 17 / m / seoul; u?

you: same except im a female

chenle: well ain’t that obvious

on the outside you bursted out laughing

you: ok capt. crunch so would you like telling me your name or is it confidential

chenle: i mean, i guess its kinda confidential but the company wont know anyway but im zhong chenle 

you: ????? are u important or sumn

chenle couldn’t believe his eyes

chenle: um.. im ZHONG chenle

you: whats so special with your name

chenle was actually quite glad you dont know about his name or his background

chenle: nothing so wyd

it didn’t take awhile for you two to get along 

since you two had the same type of humor and age

you: why are you on this app tho if you are “young and rich”

chenle: i could ask you the same question

you: its friday my dude and im bored 

chenle: well,,,,,,,,,,, idk my friend recommended it to me

you: you’re friends with a bunch of old people?

chenle: nO I MEAN YES?? I MEAN NO 

you: ... are u fucking with me

chenle: no i’m not fucking with you, im talking to u :D 

in the end chenle asks you if it was okay that he’ll send you some money for fun

chenle: yk this app is about sugardaddies looking for sugarbabies right so lets make the most of it and give me your paypal or venmo and ill send you some cash for talking to me <3 

you: wtf chenle no its fine!!! i had lots of fun talking to you and this app is just a whole ass joke but im glad i met a new friend here but its okay dont send me some money !!!!!

chenle: nooo think of it like i’m treating you out for some dinner so please allow me 

you: still ! i wont let you,, till i get to see you so i know youre not some 40 year old i still think you are

chenle: how many times do i have to tell you im really 18 years old ffs but sure, when are you free?

on the inside youre just like: ASJDHJHDUIADHASJKDAHAHD WHAT THE FUCK

you: uhh i have school so i’m always busy hehehe

chenle: then i’ll see you in your school, what school do you go to?

this kid doesnt know when to give up

you: hhhhhhh i guess then i’m free tomorrow 

chenle: GREAT! I’LL SEE YOU ON HONGDAE here’s my number boo

and there you have it

your first unofficial meet up with zhong chenle himself

you were too much in thought about meeting him you didnt even notice jaemin standing there with pizza in his hands

“what are you staring at sis?” - jaems

“uh nothing” you snatched the pizza from his hands

fast forward to tomorrow

you were getting nervous to meet chenle

“hey where are you going?” jaemin takes a peek of you in your room

can he stop scaring you like that

“going out” - u 

“going where?” - jaems

“hongdae”

“cuteee do you have a date today?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you

“no-”

“are you going out with that pizza delivery boy?!” jaemin suddenly gushes

“jeno?” you ask him

“yeah that one” - jaemin

“no, i’m just gonna go shopping” you brush him off

jaemin shrugs and gives you some pocket money to spend

“be safe and have fun” he closes the door of your room

after safely arriving in hongdae, you sat somewhere thats not that crowded

who knows if this chenle person is famous right

so there you were waiting for him to text you or something

and just like that, your phone rings

it was an unknown number

but you answer anyway

“hello this is chenle, may i ask if you are in gongcha right now?” 

you looked around the people who’s passing by hoping to see someone fancy looking holding their phones

suddenly someone stops right in front of you

“found you” 

with that, chenle hangs up and sits across the table from you

“hi, i’m chenle” he gives his hand out for you to shake

and man, you were shookt

he looks like an ordinary teenager 

or a hypebeast for this occasion 

“o-oh .. h-hello” you bow

chenle suddenly laughs at your reaction 

his laugh is beautiful 

“don’t be nervous baby, i mean no harm” he smiles

his smile that totally made your heart melt

“how could i not? you’re the youngest billionaire out here” you gushed

chenle shushes you after the billionaire part

“sorry about that, it’s just i don’t like it when people tell me that” he tells you casually

ok humble king

“have you ordered yet? if not let’s order right now, on me” he grabs his wallet from his pocket and heads inside gongcha

after taking your orders, you two sat outside again with your drinks

“so y/n.. tell me about yourself” chenle takes a sip of his drink

“well, like i told you last night, i’m a student in college and i live with my brother who’s a doctor and that’s about it.. what about you, mr. zhong” you giggled

“first of all, don’t call me mr. zhong. you can call me lele instead and i love music and i like to play the piano and sometimes i sing” he shares, showing off his pearly whites

and after some many more conversations with him, he finally asks you an important question

“ok last question” he laughs, “i know it’s kinda weird but i really like your company and i know we met through a sugar daddy/sugar baby app but would you like.. stay with me..?” he asks cautiously

you stared at him with wide eyes

“i’ll pay for everything you want.. just,, stay or keep me company..?”

you kept quiet, just in shock on what just happened

“it’s okay if you don’t want to, just forget that i asked” he laughs awkwardly

“no it’s okay, i’ll keep you company but please please don’t pay for everything. i can pay for myself” you tell him

“why not? i got money, i can spoil you with gifts” he looks at you confused

“if you can’t remember, i’ve got a brother who’s a doctor and i guess we’re loaded too you know” you roll your eyes at him

“pfft okay then so.. where were we” 

and with that you guys carry on your conversation 

months has passed and you’ve been with chenle through everything

every time something happened in his company, you were there comforting him or just keeping him sane through out everything

and within those months, you’ve seen different sides of him as well

like the serious side of him– when he’s in business meeting and you’re his plus one 

aside from his secretary of course

the funny side of him– when he’s cracking jokes to literally everyone

sometimes he takes days off in the midst of his own company just to pull pranks on his secretary, renjun

and of course, his vulnerable side– when he feels he can’t do what his father left him, the family legacy

there were night where you had to stay over at his place just to make him calm down or just to make sure he’s sleeping or eating well 

and tonight was those vulnerable nights of chenle

here you were in his room, on the floor holding his hand as he rants about how his day turned to shit 

“it’s just so.. hard you know?” he opens up, “when everyone expects you to follow a certain life but i’m not all about that business shit life! i want to sing or fucking play the piano or do some teenager shit not this paper work life!” his voice cracks at the end of his sentence

“ah shit i’m crying in front of you again” he laughs, wiping the tears 

you don’t say anything but held his hand tighter

“thanks y/n.. you’re the best” he smiles down at you

“anything for you, chenle. that’s why i’m here for you right? to keep you company” you smile back

“can you.. come up here with me” chenle motions for you to sit beside him on the bed

you agree and climbed up

chenle sits up awkwardly, staring at you.

“woah this is the first time i had a girl on my bed” he giggles

“then i’m honoured” you laugh

suddenly your phone vibrates multiple times

you take a look and its your brother looking for you

“who is it?” chenle asks

“it’s my brother, he said i should go home” you slowly push yourself from his comfy bed

“no, it’s late. i’ll take you home first thing in the morning” 

“i don’t want to be a burden to you lele” you say shyly

“you’re never a burden to me y/n” chenle smiles again

that night, you slept in his very arms for the first time

you wake up earlier that him and decided to prepare breakfast for him

you set the eggs and bacon on the table with orange juice

you smiled at your efforts, hoping he’d like it

chenle woke up in distraught since you were no where in sight

he was in his pajama pants and he rushed downstairs to check if you were still there

and thankfully, you were

you were on the dining table, waiting for him with breakfast ready

“good morning” he grins, face looking brighter than ever

you smile back at him, “good morning to you too, sleepyhead. help yourself with some breakfast”

chenle takes a seat and sips on the orange juice next to him, “did you make this?” he asks

you nod, “for you” 

you could’ve swore you saw him blush for a moment there 

and with that, you two ate in peace, just enjoying each other’s company

a few days later

you couldn’t make it to chenle’s office since you had classes and it was exam week 

chenle was obviously very lonely that week

even his own secretary checked up on him cause he was awfully quiet ever since you came into his life

“so how are you and y/n huh” renjun casually asks chenle who was busy reading papers on the table

“we’re doing great” chenle replies nonchalantly 

“are you two going steady now?”

that question made chenle halt to a stop on what he was doing

renjun notices that chenle turned quiet

“i never asked her to be official” chenle gasps, scaring renjun in the process

“wha-”

“renjun hyung can you get me the biggest bouquet bundle you can find” chenle rushes

renjun nods and grabs his ipad, looking for what chenle requested

“fuck.. what did y/n wanted again” chenle asks himself, trying to remember the bag or things you told him about

“call jisung and tell him we’re going to the mall” chenle tells renjun yet again, rushing to the elevator so he could go to the mall with his best buddy

“so what are we buying your special someone again?” jisung asks chenle who was busy pacing around the mall

“y/n said she wanted a bag but i cant remember what was it” chenle tells jisung who just looks as lost as he was

chenle ended up going to every luxury store they had in the mall

like louis vitton, gucci, prada, balenciaga, fendi

you name it he went there and bought one bag each

he even went to some make up stores thanks to jisung’s suggestion

surprisingly he had a girlfriend who was a makeup artist and puts make up on jisung’s face when they have nothing to do

and of course, chenle followed what his best friend suggested

now they were on their way back to your place cause you just texted chenle that you were almost done with your exam

chenle and jisung unload his car and went straight up to your apartment that you shared with your brother

and your brother answers the door

“uh chenle? what are you doing here?” jaemin answers the door

chenle stood there in shock once again, “jaemin hyung? you’re y/n’s brother?” he stares at jaemin confused.

jaemin nods slowly before realization hits him, “you’re the person y/n is seeing?!” 

chenle nods uncertainly, slightly offended you never told jaemin about him but quickly shrugs it off. 

“well surprise! now can you help us with this? i’m asking y/n to be my girlfriend when she arrives home” 

jaemin immediately steps in and helps the two boys

after an hour or so, everything is now set into place

now they were just waiting for you to arrive

chenle stood there with his usual work attire which was a formal suit, holding a big ass bouquet and the paper bags right behind him

“jisung how do i look?!” chenle looks at jisung who was showing him two thumbs up

“dashing bro, she’ll say yes in no time”

and as if on cue, you walked in

and to say you were shocked to see chenle standing there 

“lele! what are you doing here?” you covered your mouth in shock as you saw the never ending line of paper bags right behind him and the bouquet he was holding

“i’m here to ask you to be mine” he replies, staring at you once again

“does my brother know you’re here?” you look around your living room and you spot jaemin in the kitchen, watching the entire thing go down

“yeah. why didn’t you tell me he was your brother” chenle pouts, but shakes his head as he hands you the bouquet

chenle clears his throat once again, “na y/n.. would you be my first and last girlfriend?” he closes his eyes tight, waiting for your response

“i would be honoured” you take the bouquet off his hands and jumped into his arms

“about time you asked her” jisung comments in the background

“baby look, i got you some gifts!” chenle puts you down and shows you the abundant amount of things he got you

you smacked him in the chest, “what did i say about you giving me expensive gifts!” 

“let me spoil you, please? you showed me how loving someone wholeheartedly is priceless, and i want to return the favor in my own way” chenle shows you his infamous puppy eyes.

“lele you’re making me cry!” you tear up, hidng your face in his neck

“also because i can’t remember the thing you told me you wanted a few days ago so i had to compromise” chenle giggles

you were happy

and he was happy

who knew an app could bring you two together and end up like this

the end!

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Shins-bro

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: Izuku and Shinso are best buds. Thats it. 

shinsou has a terrible mum and he's complaining about it "ironically"

like : "lmao my mum is gonna beat my ass for this shitty mark" and he's shocked when izuku is like 3 seconds away from tears

izuku drags shinso to his house and his mum is home and shinso is Spooked bc,, adult?? friends???

hes so scared that inkos gonna yell at him for doing something stupid but as soon as he walks in the door izuku trips over his own feet taking off his shoes and tackle hugs his mum

so izuku and inko are laughing and like, half-fallen over bc izuku is a chunky boy and shinso is so lost??? at the door and inko uses her quirk to pull him over by the shirt and join in the hug

udhihdsf she!!! picks both of them up and squishes these good heroes in the best mother hug

izuku is laughing and shinso is sh o o k bc this is the nicest hug he's ever had???

inko puts them both down and flushes a little, says sorry for hugging shinso but she hasn't seen her boy in so long! and he must be a lovely young man if he's friends with izuku

she bustles off to go stir dinner on the stove and izuku just grins and looks at shinso

"isn't my mum great?!"

",,,yeah"

he and shinso go to his room and izuku pulls out his old console

admits he used to make his mum play this fighting game over n over when he was little, and that she always used to pick this female hero with a big white cape because she liked her hair. he giggles and tells shinso that if he wants izuku can maybbbeee let him play allmight

he picks endeavour for a sec and asks shinso if je just wants to beat up endeavour for a minute before they really start

it turns into them setting like 6 AI to level 9 endeavours and them both playing allmight to beat the crap out of them

inko walks in w tea and little cakes she made and gasps happily bc she loved that game! so they restart the round with 2 allmights + 1 nana plus all the endeavour AI

izuku and shinso keep protecting inko's character from all the fire bc she doesn't deserve this

izuku shoves a cupcake into shinsou's mouth when he goes to ask izuku something

shinsou like, lights up bc he's never had home-baked stuff before and its sooooo good so he just kind melodramatic puts his controller down and says "i guess this is kamino ward 2.0" as all might gets crispy fried by the AI and shoves the cupcake into his face

izuku c a ck l e s

izuku and inko, melodramatically "we can't let allmight 1 fall!! protect him!!!" and they try to save this idle allmight as shinso watches w icing on his face

inko and izuku save idle allmight and shinso cheers softly. inko shoves a cupcake into hers and izuku's faces and hands another to shinso in celebration

she then ducks out to go take care of the dinner again. izuku giggles and puts dollop of icing on shinsos nose, who sneezes then looks offended that his nose dared to sneeze

shinso tries to lick the icing off he nose

but like

it's not working

and izuku is losing it laughing but shinso is stubborn and won't stop just bc what he's doing is v stupid. they end up w shinso's legs on izuku’s bed w his back on the floor, izuku leaning against the bed. shinso isn't really sure why he thought this was a good idea

and they run through English homework and shinso and izuku are both shockingly good and both refuse to admit its bc they spend too much time on tumblr/youtube

shinsou: gee izuku why are u so good at english

izuku, who has been reading self insert all might x reader fics for like 50% of his life: no reason :)))

fdguhdfghufh shinsou, who has been reading angsty fics of all his faves instead of going to therapy: wow same ,,,

also im sorry but, izuku def reads allmight self insert that isn't like "uwu dating you" but its like "what if allmight was ur best friend" or "allmight is your secret dad??? uwu"

u know all those old ass watt pad fics where one direction adopts u, that but all might and all the chapters are just

all might tucks u into bed after a hard school day and tells you he’s proud of you

all might fucking detroit smashes ur class bully into the concrete

u and all might attend the premiere of his latest docuseries and u cry bc there’s a whole preface abt how u changed his life for the better and he could not ask for a better child

izuku and shinso go through their old tumblr/wattpad/deviantart accounts and cry laugh

its all in terrible english and one of the comments is "are you 10 or can you just not speak english"

6 years later, izuku responds

"both, actually"

izuku writing vent fics but they’re like

“all might punches my classmate bc he stole my fuckign apple juice kacchan i hate u”

"all might tells me i don't need my fuckign dad i haven't seen since i was 4 and he becomes my new dad"

“all might tells me i have no bedtime and makes my mom dinner bc she’s stressed and she needs a nap”

"all might adopts me and marries my mum and has a kid who becomes my brother and best friend"

he wrote them all between 6-12 he started writing better shit when he was 12 and made a new account (better, not good.)

his first round of fics were like all in first person and shinsou’s w h e e z i n g like why’d u think this was a good idea. izuku s cryign bc hE WAS SIX HITOSHI STOP IT. its like really terrible english too

izuku is mad but then he realizes he was hitoshi's deviantart open and he g r i n s (its all shitty drawings of cats and his OC Hero ) there are like twenty pictures of his actual cat taken on a shoddy ds camera

also as like, a soft dumb thing izuku is like speed typing on his laptop and shinsou is like??

izuku shushes him n tells him he wants to finish it before dinner

what hes done

is he wrote one of the shitty self insert fics, intentionally shittily but w allmight as izukus dad and eraserhead and shinsous and they live together for no reason at the "hero apartments" and can be brothers

shinso is laughing and crying at the same time and izuku is like

",,,, im gonna send it to present mic"

"nO"

"do you think ill get extra credit?"

"nO DOnT DO IT"

izuku in retaliation sending in some of shinsou’s oldass oc comics and mics just

“i mean

it’s in english,,,”

they get extra credit but it's not really helpful bc they both had As now they both have A plus' but dont wan them

(mic sends it to all might and eraserhead but like, redacts shinso and izukus names and aizawa is twitching w either rage or laughter, all might is bright red and giggling like an idiot)

pls the teachers gc is just “all might and eraserhead tuck u in and call u a Good Boy” for the next three months

as a running joke, whenever they can, that's what izuku and shinso write for English

like in german we had to write plays and act out little skits in german. in english, they do that but like, izuku is eraserhead and shinso is a cat stuck in a tree 

they have to write sentences w different words? and they get "comfort" "rescue" and "light" and its all shit like

"my dad eraserhead rescued me from homework because mic is terrible"

"all might's fatherly love lights up the hole in my heart"

"the fatherly aura of allmight and eraserhead brings me comfort on my darkest days"

izuku gives the ol puppy dog eyes to aizawa who begrudgingly lets them sleep over at inko's house

and there is only one bed! and they cant decide who gets it

so

neither of them sleep in it and they both stubbornly lay on the floor. it takes like 5 seconds for them to start laughing

[yeunbins]

till dusk, till dawn

➳ summary: in apocalyptic world, is there a chance for you to find love?

➳ genre: apocalyptic!au

➳ a/n: gif creds goes to @hayoonbin! this was requested by annonue and i got too carried away writing it and uGh i love it so much!! kinda inspired by multiple zombie movies esp. the walking dead!

“mom, what are those?” your voice quivered in fear. You see your mom stagger up the stairs and run towards your room. she grabs a backpack from your closet and stuffs clothes, the first aid kit, and water in it. “mom answer me!” you cried out loud. “run and never look back” her voice boomed. You look at her crying face in confusion. she shows her arm which revealed a bite mark. you run up to her and sobbed. You felt her stroke your hair in a loving manner. “I love you, sweetie” she says truthfully as your mom feels herself turning. the bangs downstairs got louder and louder. “mom please” you sobbed. your mom suddenly grabs a pistol. “mom.. what are you doing?” you asked in panic. “after I fire this gun, promise me you will take this and run” she looks at you dead in the eye “no mom!” you tried to stop her but its too late. she pulled the trigger. “ MOM!!” you screamed in agony.

you woke up from your daydream when you heard a clunk at the other side of the store. In a hurry, you grabbed the canned goods and other necessities you needed and shoved them in your bag. you stealthily paced around the store to check where the sound came from. you peeked over at the shelves to see a zombie. Not wasting any more time, you threw your army knife at his head. you watched the zombie fall to the ground. you look down at the zombie with your knife on its head. “poor guy” you say out loud. you pulled the knife from his head and ran out of the convenience store.

running out the store, you were greeted with the fresh air with the smell of rotting bodies. you were used to this kind of lifestyle by now. killing zombies here and there, finding abandoned houses in the rich subdivisions or in the villages to sleep in. your main “home” as you called it was in the forest. you knew your way in and out of the forest in your town. though there are still some parts of it to be discovered. you are now headed to the front and you see a hoard of zombies ahead of your direction. you didn’t bring attention to yourself by walking cautiously. even if there was a zombie in front of you, you would just stab them on the head.

—

it was just a regular day at the treasure base. asahi, yoshinori, and jaehyuk were getting down from the watch towers from their night shift. byunggon calls everyone to the dining area for their daily meeting. “any news?” byunggon asks everyone who was still in a sleepy state. “nothing from the night before hyung” asahi reports. “hmm. I guess that’s like a daily thing now” seunghun comments.

as everyone was busy reporting the activities from the dag before, byunggon checks the members attendance. “where’s mashiho?” byunggon asks. “in the kitchen hyung!” yedam answers. byunggon noticed the meeting was awfully quiet.

“where’s jihoon, junkyu, and the rookie?” as on cue, the three stumble together at the door. “present.. for duty.. hyung” junkyu tries to hold in his laughter.

keyword: tried.

Byunggon massaged his temples at the three. “So, what are we-“ “hyung we ran out of food!” mashiho runs in. “NO FOOD?!” hajeongwoo exclaim in sync. “WHAT!?” junkyu screams in a high voice. “everybody listen up!” seunghun slams his fist against the metal table. all The boys stopped what they were doing. “thanks bro” byunggon bumps his fist with seunghun seunghun. “no problem” seunghun grins. “anyway, since we’re out of food, jihoon, junkyu, and the rookie here,” byunggon points at the three. “you three will scout for our food” he finishes. “great! we’re gonna go outside again” jihoon laughs, “and we try not to get killed yeehaw!” junkyu adds but ruins the mood. both leaders, byunggon and seunghun facepalm. “just head over to doyoungie and hyunsukie’s station to get your guns.” seunghun sighs. “copy that!”

“we’re in scouting duty again!” junkyu giggles. “ yep. but its our rookie’s first misson” jihoon coos at yoonbin, who just vaguely smiles a bit. “ aw come on, rookie! loosen up a bit” Jihoon throws his hand over yoonbin’s shoulder. “come on, guys. It’s not the time to—what was that?” rustling was heard. the three boys gripped their guns tightly against their chest.

—

you are now walking through the forest. just feeling the cold breeze hit your skin brings you relaxation or peace despite living in a apocalyptic world where the dead wants to eat you alive. your train of thought was cut short when you heard voices nearby. you dropped your bag filled with goods and hid around a tree.

“yo! who would leave this!!” a giddy voice exclaims. “be quiet man! you’re gonna bring us attention!” another voice hushed. “careful, we don’t know if there’s a catch” a deep voice interfers. “please” the other boy scoffs, “like there’s any other—“

he gets cut off by you grabbing a boy and holding a knife against his neck. 2 guns were pointed at you. “drop your weapons” you demanded. they slowly complied and dropped theirs. Even the boy you held hostage dropped his gun.

“who are you and what are you doing here?!” you pointed the knife towards the two boys who were holding their hands up. “i’m jihoon and thats junkyu” jihoon points to the guy beside him. “the one you held hostage is yoonbin” he then points to the boy you’re holding. “we’re scouting for food for our base” he explains.

“what base? there aren’t any bases here!” you raise your brow at the two boys. as you try to get information from them, you didn’t notice yoonbin who took the opportunity to flip you around. so now you’re the one who’s held hostage. “FUCK!” you yelped

“oH MY GOD DUDE DID YOU SEE THAT?! BYUNGGON HYUNG IS GONNA BE SO HAPPY AND SHOCKED” junkyu jumps. “guess we’re taking you hostage, lady” yoonbin whispers in your ear. “we’re gonna take your food if you don’t mind!” jihoon smiles as he grabs your little duffle bag filled with canned goods. “FUCK OFF THAT’S MINE” you trashed around yoonbin’s arms. “not anymore~” junkyu says in a sing song voice. “c’mon rookie. let’s head back now” jihoon commands. yoonbin pushed you harshly and now you four were walking to their base.

–

“you’re back early– whO IS THAT?!” jeongwoo screams over the intercom. “a stranger danger that’s what” jihoon mumbles enough for you to hear. you kicked jihoon’s ass which caused him to yell in pain. “DUDE! control her! she kicked my ass!” jihoon complained. “literally” junkyu joked. you snap your head at him and gave him a glare. “sorry” he says quickly. “you’re quite feisty aren’t you” yoonbin tries to give you a small talk, only for you to give him your best death glare. “cool” he replies.

you were now walking to the front door. their base reminded you of an army base with all the wires and metal doors everywhere. not to mention the watch towers and all that. “hyung! we found another civilian!” junkyu reports. “this time she’s a bit hostile” jihoon whispers over to byunggon. “where is she?” byunggon asked the two. “she’s with the rookie. oh my god hyung like he did a backflip and shit and the girl can’t do anything!” junkyu blabbered.

“it’s a girl?! hyunsuk and seunghun both piped up. “yeah–“ before jihoon could finish his sentence, byunggon, seunghun and hyunsuk ran off to where yoonbin was guarding you.

–

“you know, you could always let go of me right?” you smile fakely at yoonbin who’s still holding your arms together. “no can do. you’re hostile as fuck” he comments. “what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” you start to raise your voice. “this is exactly why i can’t let you go” he counters. you huff at your place and try to find something to distract him. you spot an ajar door. an idea came into mind.

“oH MY GOD LOOK THERE MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE” you screamed. yoonbin got startled, “WHERE?!” he looks around frantically. taking this as an opportunity that he’s distracted, you ran away from him. “wha– come back here!” he yells. you sprinted faster but he’s catching up.

‘for a rookie they’re talking about, he’s pretty good’ you thought to yourself. you were now running around a goddamn table. you hear yoonbin ‘tsked’ and slid over to your side. “FUCK DUDE IT AINT THAT SERIOUS” you cry out as you ran faster than ever.

he finally catches up and tackles you to the ground. “you aren’t going anywhere” he says coldly. “yeah i am” you argue as you fight against him. “do you ever give up?” he pants as he tries to block your attacks. “nope, never” you smile. suddenly you felt something prick you. “ow!” you pushed yoonbin off of you as you felt yourself getting dizzy. “wha– the” you slurred. the last thing you remember was falling and you feel yourself being lifted and you’re out like a light.

—

you jolt up from the hard bed. hitting your head angst a shelf in the process. “fuCK!” you cursed loudly. “she’s awake!” you hear an unfamiliar voice call out. suddenly, a group of boys scrambled inside the room. “oh wow” one comments. “oh no she has a bruise forming” another comments. “i got the ice” another announces. “damn rookie what did you do to her” one jokes and the whole group broke into laughter.

“who the fuck are you guys” you ask them. “damn, you’re right hoon. she’s feisty as shit!” a blonde boy exclaims. “told ya” jihoon’s familiar voice echoed in the room.

“hello! i’m byunggon. i’m the group’s leader. you’re at our base. you are another civilian we found around the area!” byunggon introduces himself. “here around me are the other civilians me and seunghun found.” he points to a tall boy who’s smiling like a dad.

“this is hyunsuk, yedam, jaehyuk, doyoung, yoshinori and asahi” he points to the boys behind him. “and you already met those three” he then points to jihoon, junkyu and yoonbin who was leaning against the doorframe.

“i know what you feel right now. so we’ll give you time to take in everything.” byunggon puts a hand on your shoulder. “mashiho, make her some food. yedam, give her an ice pack” he looks at mashiho and yedam who were standing outside. “got it hyung!” they say. byunggon stands up and walks over to jihoon, junkyu and yoonbin.

“you three, watch over her incase she plans anything funny” byunggon whispers to the three. “nah hyung, let’s just leave it to the rookie here” jihoon teases yoonbin. “fuck off” yoonbin rolls his eyes. junkyu winked at byunggon hoping he got the idea. byunggon looked like he was about to laugh.

“okay then, rookie, watch over her for tonight” byunggon smirks at yoonbin who groaned and threw death glares at the two idiots. “bye~” they waved as they ran for their lives after leaving the room.

you watched as mashiho placed down a plate filled with food. you looked at him and mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ he shows you a toothy grin and walks off together with yedam who shyly gave you the ice pack. they both ran off and closed the door right after. you were now laying down at the bed with your hand holding an ice pack against your forehead.

“for someone who’s gonna watch over me, you don’t talk much” you comment at yoonbin who’s just standing at the corner with a gun. “just doing what i’m told to” he replies. you scoffed, “yeah right, sure”

“why won’t we start with the basics, like introducing ourselves. hey! that’s a good idea” you open up a conversation. you hear yoonbin sigh, “fine. what’s your name?” he asks. you gasp and put your hand over your chest. “i thought you’d never ask!” you say. he rolls his eyes at you. “anyway i’m y/n” you smile at him.

after hours of just talking about anything, yoonbin hears your breathing go steady. indicating you have already fallen asleep. he quietly tip toes outside where he could leave you asleep in peace. he closed the door quietly as he could. suddenly, a hand grabbed his shoulder. “hey rookie” it was byunggon.

“hey.. uh hyung” yoonbin smiles politely at the leader. “i see that you did something earlier with our new comer huh” he smiles at yoonbin. ‘oh no, is this going somewhere’ yoonbin thinks to himself. “i need you to be with her for a few days. like give her a tour and all that shit. make sure she has something to do. is that okay?” byunggon asks. ‘fuck’ he thought. knowing he can’t say no to gon, he agrees. “okay” byunggon smiles widely, “ey! that’s our rookie! get some rest, you have a long day ahead of you” byunggon pats his chest.

yoonbin walks through the long hallways as he goes to his room. his room was kinda small but it has a bed and that’s all what matters. his neighbors are mashiho and seunghun. who are both busy everyday. he drops his gun on the floor, he opens the small closet and changes into his hoodie and sweats. he crawls to his bed, making himself comfy. once he’s adjusted, yoonbin sighs before being knocked out cold.

[dreammutual-remade]

best friends to lovers!lucas

request: ok ur SO FUNNY when i was reading ur hyunjin scenario i almost pissed my pants istg ur fckin hilarious !! and could you do like a best friends to lovers type trope with lucas from nct? love ur writing and please go nuts my guy <3 <3 - @nctro​

word count: 3.7k

a/n: djfhgkhdj thank u sO MUCH everyone who compliments me on here makes me blush dhbfkhsbdk anywhom I actually enjoyed writing this so much mainly because I love big dumb boys and Lucas is one of those !!!! I hope u like it bby<3

warnings ?: cursing and brief mentions of underage drinking 

okie doke babe

l e t s d i v e i n

let’s set the scene fellas

you’re in like the second grade right

boys are: disgusting and mean

but this is when you meet your bestie !!!!!

lucas was a new kid all the way from china and he was , the only boy you’d ever found cute

(i mean y’all have seen those baby pics oh my gOD HE WAS SO CUTE)

and when the teacher introduced him he was obviously a bubbly kid but none of the others in your class seemed to warm up to him

:((((

later when you all are at recess he keeps trying to join the boys but they won’t let him because as previously stated

THEYRE MEAN AND GROSS

he looks so so sad and lonely and you’re a Sweet Baby Girl so you go up to him and ask if he wants to play w/ u :)))

he’s so excited !!!! hooray !!!!!!!!!!

you guys play house and BAM

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

your friendship lasts all through elementary school !!

even in fourth grade when you guys were in different classes he would come find you at recess and your moms would arrange play dates :))))

middle school was,

middle school

we don’t talk abt that

all you need to know is that it was embarrassing

and yeehaw we’ve made it thotties aLL THE WAY TO SENIOR YEAR

let’s do a brief summary of 9th-11th grade

9th grade:

lucas is taller than you but only by a little and his voice breaks every other sentence

his ears are still too big for his body :(

you are a late bloomer and still look 12 but you’re , TRYING YOUR BEST

you guys have about half of your classes together but remain really close since you eat lunch together and hang out after school too

lucas attempts to join the basketball team

he . doesn’t make it and is v upset so you have to come over and comfort your Pitiful Man Baby

he cries a little and ouchie yOUR HEART hurts

but then he’s like u never saw that THOT

and so you are forced into silence rip

10th grade:

lucas FINALLY gets his permit halfway through the year because he fuckinh forgot to do it last year and you’re TERRIFIED but it’s fine

you’re starting to look more like a female and less like a fetus congrats !!!!!

lucas has now grown to almost 6 feet tall what the FUCK BRO

he grew at least 6 inches over the summer and you don’t really notice until one day you’re like uhhh excuse me since when are you half a foot taller than me

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

and this boy LORDS his height over you

purposefully places things where you can’t reach it so he can be like

*tips fedora* m’lady , are u in need of assistance

after this you have perfected the art of pinching his arm til he screeches

also his voice has gotten sooooo so so deep

like okay darth vader CHILL OUT

with all this height though he is even clumsier than before

it’s like he forgets he’s now a giant 15 yr old

he’s always covered in scratches and bruises so you’ve taken to carrying disney princess bandaids

they’re disney princess because you thought it would embarrass him and encourage him not to get hurt but

he loves them so it didn’t work rip

he tries out for the basketball team again and genuinely makes it based on height alone

i mean the boy can barely dribble but ??? he can learn i guess

he calls you when he makes it and screams for 45 seconds straight

you don’t know wtf goin on so you’re like oh mY GOD ARE U OKAY

and he’s like yES BITCH I MADE THE TEAM

and then you scream for 45 seconds

next time you see him in person you tackle him with a hug and he lifts you up and spins you around because wow !!!!! so happy !!!!

11th grade:

ah, yes

the year of PARTYING

you always go to parties together and switch who’s dd each time

eventually more friends start coming with you so that you can both get drunk tho ayy

but for the first couple times it’s either drunk lucas half draped on you as you drag him home or sober lucas carrying your lightweight ass to the car

he’s a real one so he won’t say anything about the time you were really drunk and got separated from him so you stood on a table and screamed his name til he came and snatched you down lmao

lucas has reached full height as well so he’s like, so much bigger than you

also he’s gotten so much better at basketball and is practically the star of the team

you go to every game and cheer as loud as you can bc that’s your BOY

puberty is Complete for you and you look female and everything!!!! go off queen 

lucas is now on Protective Mode since you’re really cute and a very agreeable drunk and under no circumstances will he allow you to be taken advantage of

NOT on my watch- lucas

alright we’re gonna make senior year the present timeline bc

YOLO

lucas is officially more popular than you

BUT

he actually sticks around because he’s The Best

okay also this guy just keeps getting larger

like he got all tall but THEN

he was doing basketball so much and just genuinely enjoyed doing sports in general that our boy was thicc with two(2) got damn c’s

you don’t notice that much until he gets into a habit of throwing you over his shoulder whenever you won’t pay attention to him

and it’s , unnerving how easily he does it

he’s started wearing shirts that show off his, eh hem, assets

long story short he’s hot as fuck and even you see him and you’re like DAYUM

also every female in your school is. ALL OVER HIM

it’s hard to walk next to him in the halls because people genuinely shove you out of the way to get next to him

at first you just kind of let it happen and he didn’t notice the first few times

that made u hella emo :(((((

but now he INSISTS upon holding your hand and dragging you behind him through the crowds

you highkey blush the whole time and everyone is all ArE yOu GuYs DaTiNg ?!/&:&:$

lucas is like NO.

:))))

ouchie

you start overthinking things because ??? would it really be so bad to be dating you jeez

you’re not terribly ugly or anything ???

at least you don’t think so

oh my god he thinks you’re ugly and annoying and he hates you

self hatred commence in 3,2,....... someone play the icarly theme song

you lowkey start distancing yourself and he himself is busy busy bee so

you start seeing less of each other :/

and you miss him soooo so much (this is your own doing BITCH) but it doesn’t even seem like he misses you at all wtf

he’s just having a great time w/ his basketball boy(friend)s and everyone loves him and you’ve been hashtag left behind :(

he really didn’t mean to he just !!!! has so much going on aaaa

and like in his absence you start realizing a lot of things

like how much you actually liked his cringey ass flirting

you would always smack him every time he was like “oh sorry, just got lost in ur eyes what did u say :3”

you miss his hugs because they were really rEALLY GOOD

he tucks you under his chin and squishes you or he’ll just wrap his arms around and pick you up

your feet just ???? dangle

you miss when he would show up at your house at like 11 with a bunch of shitty foreign films and force you to watch them with him

you miss when you both would fall asleep in a pile on the couch and he would wake up and carry you to bed

because he’s an angel THATS WHY

anywhom

you miss everything about him and you just are so upset that he doesn’t pay that much attention to you

it gets WORSE when you notice some other girl hanging out with him

and she’s prettier than you and apparently good enough for his attention when you aren’t and you’re just so full of

what’s the word

JEALOUSY.mp3

go listen to jealousy by monsta x

but obviously you’re not going to acknowledge that because what’s a good friends to lovers story without a hearty helping of denial

he still tries to hang out with you so you guys do see each other in class and at least a couple weekends out of the month but :(((

it’s nowhere near how close you were

it all comes to a head when one day you’re walking in the hall and it’s hella crowded

way worse than usual

and in the center of the crowd is

you guessed it :’-)

our boy yukhei

and he just asked this girl to the winter formal and she’s nodding and smiling and hugging him and he’s smiling too and you

gotta go

your eyes are already starting to water and you start skirting around the edges of the crowd to get to a bathroom

one of your other friends jeno who also plays with lucas on the team sees you and smiles and lifts his hand

but it immediately shifts into a frown when he sees your face

he reaches out to grab your wrist and asks if you’re okay and what’s wrong

you just bring your other hand up to sloppily wipe at your watery eyes and whisper that it’s nothing

the hand he’s got in his grasp has started to shake and he looks really worried so he tugs you around the corner until he doesn’t see anyone around

and he turns to look you in the eyes all Serious

“alright. spill”

and you just

BURST INTO TEARS

he panics and hesitantly puts an arm around your shoulders to pat your back

you just press your forehead into his shoulder and cry

it’s a short cry though because although we are dramatic out here we aren’t doing The Absolute Most

you pull away and wipe your eyes and take a few deep breaths before you apologize

jeno smiles sadly and pats your head and says it’s okay and that he hopes it helped

you stand there for 37 seconds exactly in silence

jenos been counting

and then you let the cat out of the bag

you adMIT FINALLY !!!!!

that you are really in love with your bff/sort of ex-bff and you’re really jealous and sad because he doesn’t even CARE about you anymore

at first jeno is quiet but then he starts laughing

and he won’t stop

and you’re like if you keep going i’m going to cry again please i’m so sensitive

and he shuts up immediately and is like o_o

but then he grips you by your shoulders and is like hEY

“guess what”

“god jeno i am really not in the mood”

“no for real guess what the fuck is up”

“what is up ???? what is up you asshole ???”

“yukhei is in love with you too”

you scoff and roll your eyes

“this is a really lame attempt to make me feel better”

“no really i’m not even lying i swear he talks about you all the time in the locker room and he literally thinks you’re an angel”

“okay but its platonic as hell like obviously we love each other after all these years but he doesn’t like ME in the way i like HIM”

“how do you know??”

“how do YOU know ?????”

“,,,,,, you got me there”

you pat his shoulder and you’re like listen i really appreciate you trying to make me feel better but it’s time for me to accept my fate

now you and lucas still text semi regularly and send each other memes and stuff

but you just, cut him off because you physically can’t move on if you interact with him at all you LOVE this boy

he def notices and texts you a few times like

y/n ??? hello? is your phone broken?

but when you stop waving back at him in the hallways and actively avoiding him he realizes you’re not talking to him

and this poor boy cannot for the life of him figure out why

he doesn’t UNDERSTAND

god he’s dumb but we still stan

he figures you want him to leave you alone so he just stares at your forlornly from afar

this just pisses you off bc like wtf nOW YOURE GONNA PAY ATTENTION TO ME ??????

a couple weeks pass and it’s time for winter formal

yay.

you’ve been dragged here by jeno who is SURE that something important is gonna happen tonight and lucas is gonna Fix Everything

yeah OKAY

SURE

you may not want to go but you wouldn’t be caught DEAD not stunting on these hoes

you show up looking absolutely SPICY

QUEEN OF WINTER

you know you had to do it to em

jeno forcefully pulls you into the doors of the gymnasium and then disappears after he threatens you with an

“i told chenle not to let you leave”

and you turn to look at chenle who is SGA and helping with the dance and he gives you an “i’m watching you” hand motion

god this is ridiculous

you sigh and go find some of your other friends

you hate to admit this but. you actually had a little fun

and then of course

a slow song was played

and the dj is all yo everyone find you a honey it’s time to slow it down for a bit

sigh

you go to walk off the dance floor or find jeno or do SOMETHING other than stand around looking awkward surrounded by couples

but someone has snatched your hand up yo wtf

it’s LUCAS

and you just look at him with confusion

“dance with me, please. just this once,,,”

and you’re like hmmm pls don’t make me do this

but he hits you with Them Puppy Dog Eyes and you’re a goner

so you let him pull you close and hold you against his chest and rest his chin on the top of your head

you lift up on your toes so you can talk in his ear

“where’s your date?”

“dancing with her girlfriend”

“um. what”

“she’s not super duper out yet so i’m being her beard for the night. it was mainly to get her parents off her back”

“oh. huh”

��plus i missed you :(((( you disappeared”

your hands tighten in the fabric of his button up bc you’re like aw FUCK

you just shake your head and rest it back on his chest and close your eyes to enjoy it while you can

as much as you want to be convinced that things can go back to the way they were now

they cANNOT because you still love him and he still just thinks of you as a friend

maybe not even a best friend anymore :(

(again,, YOUR FAULT BITCH)

his GIANT warm hands slide across your waist to press you forward by the small of your back

at this point you are pressed together basically head to toe

and you can’t tell for sure but , you think he kissed the top of your head ???

maybe you were freakin hallucinating though since you’re losing oxygen fast due to his close proximity

the song ends and you slowly stop swaying and pull apart while everyone gets back to being wild

“can we.. go talk outside”

this sentence strikes FEAR in your heart but you take his proffered hand as he leads you outside

it’s cold as hell so you’re already wound up tight and wrapping your arms around yourself to keep warm

he notices quickly and wraps his jacket around you before turning to face outward towards the road

it’s quiet other than the muffled music from inside and crickets and other night noises

he opens his mouth to say something but you just blurt out

“i like you!!!!”

and he whips around to face you and you just. keep talking

“it’s oKAY i know you don’t like me back like that and i would never be mad at you about that i didn’t distance myself from you bc of that!!!! i just had to because it was hurting me to be around you and see you be with other girls and i really wanted to move on so that we could get back to being best friends if you even wanted that i just !!! IT JUST HAPPENED OKAy i’m sO SORRY AND I ComPLetely understand if you never want to speak to me again”

and he’s just staring at you and panting

why is he out of breath he’s just been standing there

you’re getting super duper nervous because he hasn’t said aNYTHING and it’s been at least a minute

and then he just goes

“you… like .. me ???”

and you’re like ugh YES you dumbass have you even met yourself you’re so cute and sweet and such a goofy boy and you’re way too nice to me and also HOT so like. you were asking for it

and he immediately swings you into his arms and gives you a big sloppy kiss on the cheek and buries his face in your shoulder and squeals

this man. SQUEALS

and you giggle because it’s tickling your neck hey stop that

and he’s laughing that loud ass cackle of his so you’re laughing too i mean have y’all heard that shit

GOOFY AS HELL

also he’s hugging you almost just like he used to with your feet dangling off the ground

and he pulls back to set you down but then

HE GRABS YOUR FACE

AND KISSES YOU  ??!/&8:$:$:92&

b i t c h

he’s so gentle and is patient when you kind of freeze at first, pulling away and pressing his lips very gently to the corner of your mouth before going Back In

and even though he’s given you NO EXPLANATION FOR THIS you kiss him back because this may be a one time only opportunity and you will NOT be wasting it 

he goes very slow and sweet and right before he pulls away he presses a cute lil smooch to your bottom lip and presses his forehead against yours

“what was that for?”

“oh yeah, i forgot to tell you!! i’m in love with you”

“oh hEY me too ??!!?!&/&”

and you’re both pressed together and giggling

“hey, you wanna ditch and go get some ice cream”

“absolutely”

so he lets his date know and you text jeno

(you: bIIIIIIIITTCHHHH    jeno: I KNEW IT)

and you’re off

he holds your hand the whole way there and when he parks he spRINTs around the car so he can open it for you

you each get an ice cream cone and sit next to each other at a picnic table and just talk and catch up with each other since you haven’t been talkin :/

one of your hands is laced with his and your head is leaned on his shoulder and he’s like hEY watch it this is my favorite shirt

and he flexes his arm with your head on it and you’re like god dAMN that’s a bicep

and he’s like ayy lmao arent u glad ur dating a greek demi god  🤪🤪

and you smack HIM

“i cant believe you just declared us as dating in the same sentence as calling yourself a greek demigod”

“are we ,,,, not dating”

“i mean personally, i haven’t gotten asked on a date yet. hmmmm, have you? :-)”

and he sighs dramatically before wrapping an arm around your waist and leaving a somewhat sticky kiss on your temple from the ice cream

he leans down to your ear

“hey so there’s this girl and her name is y/n and she’s so beautiful and funny and i love her so much do you think she would go on a date with me ? :3”

“hmmm well i guess so,,, she could give you a chance…..”

you hold a straight face for less than 5 seconds before you get all blushy and smiley and he squeals at you

......again

and grabs your face with his hands since he literally dEVOURED that ice cream cone

he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose and then to your lips and says against them,

“please~”

another kiss

“for me?~”

another

“cmon~”

and he goes in for another but you’re like oKAY okay i’ll date you you giant pain in my ass

and he’s like :-(((((((

(DONT BE MEAN TO THE BABY BOY)

and you’re like aw i’m sorry you’re MY giant pain in the butt

he seems pretty satisfied with that and after you finish your ice cream cone he is already at the door waiting with the door open

“if you dARE say m’lady i will walk home”

“of course ,,,,,,,,, m’lady”

“alrIGHT THATS IT”

he grabs your hand and pulls you back toward him to keep you from leaving and presses a kiss to your forehead and ruffles your hair a little

before he kindly and gently shoves you into the car

he drives home with one hand on the wheel while you mess with the fingers of his other hand because wow

that shit is amazing he’s got some big ole beautiful hands

when you arrive he walks you to your door and

this mf presses you against it and presses an absolutely SINFUL kiss onto your lips before turning around and heading back to his car

“bye, baby!! i’ll see u tmrw at school :-)))))”

and first of all: KKDKDNDKDJ

second: he called you baby it’s officially over for you bitch

you wave back blankly because what the hell just happened and then you go inside

you press yourself against the door after you close it behind you and press your hands into your warm cheeks

and woooo bOY what have you gotten yourself into

a supportive and caring boyfriend who LOVES YOU THATS WHAT !!!!!!!!

okay goodbye i really love wong yukhei xuxi lucas whatever the fuck his name is

[cat-lover-300]

Things I overheard during track season.

These are all the dumb quotes from my time with the track team. I apologize in advance for the cursing and the overall dumbness.

“I will come to your house and steal all of your left shoes.”

“Y’all I just stabbed a worm” “WTF JIMMY.”

“I thought my mom left the house because she was going to get me food, but she came back with a whole new car. She was like ‘So, you you like it?’ And I was like ‘where’s the food tho?”

“She smell like some greasy ass lays.”

“In the weight room* LETS GET THIS BREAD” “AHHHHHHHHH”

“THATS NOT A FETISH.”

*Gets a tiny scratch on her leg* “GREAT, NOW I GOTTA GET MY LEG AMPUTATED.”

“Melissa’s dead.” “Well, aren’t you in an unfortunate predicament right now.”

“Y’all, if I don’t get crawfish within the next week, I am going to kill someone.”

“Do y’all remember when bass pro had a sonic? Times were so much easier back then.”

“Y’all make me wanna take a tall glass of vodka and down it”

“What are we doing here?” “I don’t know, why am I alive?”

“Oh my lord, they building him a hairline.”

“Are you ready for the meet?” “Gurl, I rolled out of bed 5 minutes ago.”

“I can’t get wifi, I live too far away.” “Then move bitch, chop chop.”

“My laundry detergent smells like beer.”

“I would throw my rice crispy at you, if I wasn’t gonna eat it.”

“Baby, honey, you so fuckin ugly.”

“How long is that book?” “Like, a half a donut.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I keep spraying perfume in my mouth.”

“I stole this FOR the school, y’all.”

“MOMO” “YEE YEE” (this happened on multiple occasions)

“Your eyes are so small you could use denim floss as a blindfold.”

“The older I get, the more I want Pringle’s.”

“O fuck.” “NO CUSSING” “YE YE BITCH”

“FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS” *on the phone quietly* “see I’m trying to give people good advice.”

“It stuck upside down bro” “what the fuck”

“The fuck is growing on that.” “Idk bro, aspestes.”

“Do you know geometry?” “Hell nah gurl” “ahhhhhhh shit.”

*climbing in a locker* “this is why you so damn slow.”

“OH MY GOD KEMIRA DIED.” “Nah fam she just went into that room.” “NO SHES DEAD.”

“FUCK YOUR TOE.” “FUCK your chicken strips” “you mother fucker.”

“You look like Bart Simpson.”

(In the distance) “OH SHIT.” *loud crash*

“Jeremy scared me.” “Is it because I’m black?” “BITCH IM BLACK TOO.”

“I really like this guy, he’s sweet and funny and just...” *glances down at messages* *looks back up* “Men are fucking disgusting and I hate all of them.”

“Hello Snapchat, I’m working hard, as usual.”

“SO YOU THE ONE USING ALL THE GLUE. BITCH.”

“If you hit me and I die, it’s okay.”

“They gonna bring some expensive liquor and shit, and I’m gonna be over here with wine in a bag.”

“Are those sonic shorts?”

“Boy why you walkin around like you on the country bayou.”

“Where my car keys at?” “The same place my chips went, bitch.” “YOU ATE THEM?”

“Are we doing any athletic activities today? Because I’m seriously debating putting on my crocs.”

“Pee now or forever hold your piss.”

“One time my brother got his truck stuck in the mud, so I had to get the lawnmower to pull him out.”

“I’ve never seen an ugly Mexican baby”

“if you were a stripper, people would only throw Monopoly money at you.”

“Your ass gonna reincarnate as a roach.”

“TURN THAT GRASS SHIT OFF.” “THATS CRICKETS DUMBASS.”

*pulls a family size bag of chips out of his pocket* *another kid stares* “I ain’t sharing bitch.”

“Yeah you was sniffing markers in your sleep, you may be a little bit high.”

“If I die by chocolate cake, I will consider my life a success.”

“Y’all know me, I can do my who-ra’s from Facebook.” “That was the lamest sentence I have ever heard.”

“I wanna be albino” “The fuck”

“We a ghetto-smart school, bitch. We won’t hesitate to kick your ass in the parking lot and win the literary rally.”

“First of all, they done sat up here and gave me a t-Rex foot.”

“Man, I need to stop doing crack, I keep seeing stuff.”

“Let me get on your neck” “No gurl, this ain’t basketball season”

"My farts smell like them flowers... From the angel garden... From that, damn, what's that called?" "The garden of Eden?" "yas, that bitch."

"Thats why I don't go in the sun. I'm already Black as hell, I ain't trying to be a wakandan color."

[baebbaeby]

(NCT) Boyfriend!Jaehyun

heh

first of all i wanna say this man would speak softly to you no matter what

especially if he had a crush on you he’d be soooOOO soft

when he likes you he’d aaaalways smile at you, he’d be really casual about it by always sitting near you, always looking at you, always including you in conversations

he would always look into your eyes when talking to you, even if he got a little red or flustered, he’d always want to look into them

i just think he’d be really pulled by someone’s eyes if he really liked them

it would be in the small things you know? you probably wouldn’t notice it but someone else would

johnny would notice right away tbh

even if you had one of your friends with you guys and they didn’t know jaehyun that well i’m sure they’d be able to tell he liked you too 

so he’d be obvious to EVERYONE else but you bc it was all in the small things he does for you

i think a lot of thought would go into his confession to you 

he’d probably ask you to hang out like one on one 

and it kind of seems date-y but its not a date you know and then near the end he’d probs walk u home or wherever you had to go 

and his ears would be red and he’d be like uhm i like u a lot and i was wondering if u’d go on a date with me

and ur low key like....that wasn’t a date? if hanging out like THAT isn’t a date then sign me the f up i wanna know ur standards for a date

its taking my entire being to not write bro at the end of every sentence of that for some reason

anywho

hes a goddamn gentleman he’d open all the doors for you

and would guide you with your hand as if you were a royalty , especially if you wore heels to steady you 

would also get chairs for you and he’d do this alllll effortlessly and not breaking a goddamn sweat 

like its just natural for him to be so nice and gentlemanly

bc he’s so good to you i feel like it would make you feel like you werent good enough for him 

and i feel like he’d kind of lose a part of himself too bc he’d be so concentrated on you so you’d definitely need to encourage him to do stuff for himself sometimes 

and then he’d get the hang of it

hes also super nice so i feel like you’d have issues if you’re the type to get jealous easily since hes so friendly and everyone seems to fall in love with him 

and he also doesnt seem like the type to tell anyone off either if they’re flirting with him he just doesn’t seem like that kind of guy

but its also common in relationships to get jealous at something or someone so it’s all about trusting each other, which i hope you do if you’re in a relationship with anyone

but low key i also think he’d adore it if you told him you were a little jealous, he’d make sure to give you a little extra affection and attention

honestly he’d be so smitten with you

he’d literally worship every part of you [sfw wise and nsfw wise winkwink]

but seriously he’d look into your eyes like they’re everything and at your lips like they’re everything and your ears and and if you had freckles he’d look at them like they’re everything too

he just seems like someone who would just drink in the sight of their s/o? like maybe he’s feeling nervous before a performance and he sees you walking towards him 

and suddenly the nerves are all gone, relief has just washed over him because you’re right there in front of him and he’s got this now he can do this because you’re there watching him

something i think about a lot is jaehyun singing to his s/o oh my gaaaad

he’d get embarrassed but would totally sing for you if you asked and he would randomly do it if he knew you liked it which who wouldnt like it jesus

all while his ears turn red because singing like that for someone is so intimate dhsjkml

if you liked singing too he’d totally looove singing duets with you too

if you were into musicals he’d totally indulge with you and sing the songs with you too

if i were his s/o i would make him sing a whole new world to me every goddamn morning ahem

he’d be really affectionate in private but in public not so much

i think he’d accept your affection if you initiated it first in public if it was small things like hand holding and hugs idk he just doesn’t seem like a huge pda guy to me

and again, it would all be in the small things for him, he’d always be beside you or looking at you so he wouldn’t even need pda to show off that you were together in public - people would just be able to tell

i’m taking a few points from the cuddling scenario i did with him but if he did decide to be affectionate in public he would not half-ass it

a hand on the shoulder is not acceptable - his full arm is going around your shoulders and tucking you into his side

same thing for your waist

and the way he holds you (this is mainly in private but also applies to how he holds you in public) its very firm, and he has a strong grip but its also very soft and gentle at the same time

like a hug would be tight and firm but it would be so full of love and gentleness because he wants to hold you close 

okay let’s get into kisses now

my heart is fluttering at the thought

first of all he’d love it when you kiss his nose

his ears would go red and he’d smile and those little whiskers would appear on his face and he’d giggle a little he’d love it sooooooOOoo MUCH

he also seems like the type to smile into all your kisses

like most of his kisses would be smiling kisses

he just hold your face so gently and smiles at you because damn he loves you so much he can’t believe it and just slowly pulls in for a kiss and he still cant stop smiling because he’s kissing the one he loves and they’re kissing him back?! amazing

also can you just hear how he would giggle in his low baritone voice when he’s happy like that and it would just vibrate through and wow what happiness

HE GLOWS WHEN YOU GUYS KISS OKAY

ALSO KISS HIS DIMPLES???? AMAZING HE’D LOVE THAT TOO SO MUCH

something that would KILL him would be if you show him affection and you’re like “i love your eyes” and you kiss his eyelids and “i love your nose” and you kiss his nose and you do this with his ears and his whiskers and his dimples bc he’s smiling so wide UGH

i think he’d personally love kissing your head, especially if you’re shorter than him it would be so easy to just dip down and boop kiss your hair and the side of your head

and i think he’d love just nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck too so a lot of his kisses would go on your jawline/neck/right underneath your ears too

alright folks its about to get slightly nsfw

but i think he’d like to nibble on your neck too

i think he’d get off on marking you like that when it gets heated and esp seeing them later he’d be like oh mY i did that? heehee let’s do it again

i think the only way i could describe his hornyness would be hungry you feel me?

like his eyes would go from bright n loving to just dark and lustful and hungry

LOTS of low groans tbh ohhh boy

he’d still be a gentleman but when boy is hungry he is hungryyy

just think about the whole strong and firm thing i said but still gentle in a way but also strong and firm

and also the whole worshipping thing like he would drink in the sight of you without clothes and touch you like you were everything (bc u are) 

like im talking strong grip on your thighs and they rise up to curve your body oh boy

ahem thats it for this nsfw bit (thinking abt maybe making a nsfw series like this too ohoho)

anyways you guys were done being intimate he’d be so sweet and soft and would love to cuddle you forever and shower you with sweet nothings

he’d be really loving in the morning too he’d crawl on top of you and just tell you how much he loves you and he’d wake up with a smile bc he’d see your beautiful face first thing in the morning

but he also wouldn’t waste time in bed too in the morning he’d get up after showering you with affection and make breakfast or something

and if you’re still not up he’d come back and use his charms to get you out of bed like tickling you or smothering you with affection that makes you giggle yourself awake

would definitely plan a whooole event for your anniversary like a romantic picnic under the stars and would also definitely have a backup plan if the weather wasnt good

he’d love low key couple things like bracelets or rings but nothing too flashy like matching clothes i think

he’d love to just have that piece of jewellery he wears that has a super special meaning to him since you mean so much to him

and one last thing

he’d always laugh at your jokes no matter how dumb they were

and indulge in your weird habits or jokes

he would just love with his entire heart and whoever gets to hold his heart one day is a very lucky person and i hope they treat it with all the love they have because its what he deserves

if you want more be sure to check out the cuddling scenario i did with him too hehe HERE

[cawcawpeasants]

Hey! I would like to ask for some Vermillion and Silva headcannons if the families were living in a modern world and maybe for the Black Bulls too? If it's not to much! Thanks!

Thanks for the ask, I will give it my best! :D

Mereoleona: Maybe in the Military, but she would also be awesome as a chef or sous chef in a high class restaurant. I could see her in a workplace thats a bit more secluded, as she doesnt like the fuss politics and economie bring with them. She owns a harley, next to a more practical jeep, and she loves to spend her vacations by making tours on her baby. She also loves Leatherjackets. In her free time she participates in Kickboxing-classes, sometimes even teaching the class when the instructor doesnt show up. Her house is full with weights and she has two maine coon cats (called Simba and Nala, because, even though shed rather die than to admit it, she loves the Lion king and never got over Mufasas death. She quietly checked up on Leon and her father when she couldnt sleep to make sure they were fine and still there)

Leon: He would make a great trainer for a famous team, whatever kinda sport. He probably would take over the familys business, though. It would fit, if their family has something to do with sports equipment. But actually, he is the perfect man for the job of police captain or higher up. Also much political influence, give due to his lineage. Before working he graduated from Law school and is an certificated Lawyer. He is also big on saving animal and helps fighting for their rights in his free time, especially big cats.

Leo: still in school, but he aspires to be like his bro. Hes great in Sports of all kind, and even the Captain of the soccer team. Apart from that he plays tennis, basketball, does judo, rows, and if you would place him on top of a horse he would even manage that. He still lives at home, but he is over at Leons so often that he has Keys, some stuff stored in a closet and the Pull-out couch is also always reserved for him.

Mimosa: Also still in school, wants to become a doctor since she was 5. She is pretty grown up, even for her age, and is a school council member. Sometimes she models for Kirsch, because she still loves him, even though they fight often. She likes to help the underprivileged by tutoring them, this way she met asta, who is a pupil on her sisterschool. 

Kirsch: Hes in college and studys fashion and design. He also works as a model, has gotten a role in a movie and runs his own fashion and make-up brand. (Keeping up with Kirsch is a running Headline in boulevard magazines)

Nozel: He would either make a kick-ass attorney or judge (with customized robes), but also be great as head of a company that has to do with aviary systems, satellites, planes or else. Also he has influence on politics and plans to run as major in the future. He is pretty old fashioned when it comes to his freetime-activities. He collects art, stamps and researches birds in quiet. Sometimes he funds expeditions to discover more about rare species, or integral nature reserves. He also bought many plots of lands, where endangered Birds live, all across the world, because the ongoing destruction of their habitat and their extinction is bothersome to him. He has degrees in law and business and is a wanted Single on the market, a circumstance that has led to him living more and more secluded, in the company of a grey parrot. (it once belonged to his mother and sometimes it would say sentences it copied from her)

Nebra: Nobody knows what Nebra does. Nobody dares to ask. She clouds herself in mist and mysteries. She probably works for the government.

Solid: He goes to college, majors in either business or law, because the family wants him to do that. Actually he is more a partyguy, the typical fratboy. Obviously, the frat is like completely his because Silvas of many generations were members. Also he has a thing for fast silver cars. Nozel hopes he will grow out of this eventually. 

The Bulls: Okay, this one is tough, I have tried to think of a place where a bunch of adults, teens and kids can live together at. So how about they are all neighbors in a House with cheap rent, and over time they formed a big family?

Noelle: She goes to school, and after she was kicked out she emancipated herself. She moved into the Black bull mansion and lives from her allowance. She works as a waitress in the cafe-bar-restaurant on the groundfloor of the building.

Asta: He and Juno both got scholar ships, he especially for his physical abiltys, but the money wasn’t quite enough for an accomodation, so he lives in a small, run down 1-room apartement and also works in the restaurant, but as a bouncer. 

(No, im sure its not legal for minors to work in such a place, but they need the money)

Finral: is a manager and bartender, ran away from home and landed there. After his family got more and more abusive he couldnt stay any longer and nearly ended up as a gigolo, but Yami saved his behind before he could self destruct. He still has the bad habit of flirting with every woman he sees, and hes a day dreamer, but all he wishes for is to find the perfect wife, to have many children and be a stay at home dad. He has a lot of love to give and many holes in his heart to fill. For the time being he is something like the eldest brother of the bulls, and whenever someone has to disappear because some investigations are going on, he knows of many hiding spaces and secret escape-ways.

Vanessa: Also ran way from home because of her abusive mother, is from another country and was found by yami shortly after she ran away. Now she also works as a bartender and sometimes as waitress. She has great talent with sewing, crocheting, making and changing clothes. She takes on jobs on the low from the bulls and other people, she even sells some of her works over the internet.

Gordon: Due to his shyness and anxiety he chose to move into a rather antisocial environment, but got aggressively adopted anyways by the bulls. He makes money as accountant, for the Bulls and over the internet.

Gauche: basically, his story is the same, and after his imprisonment was over hes out on probation) Yami got him a room in the building. Sometimes he works as a bouncer, when they are short on staff, otherwise he works in a library or old book shop. During the nights he takes online classes to graduate from school, so he can one day get a well paying job to provide Mary with all the money she needs to get through live easily.

Magna: Is a punk who got picked up by Yami one day, after he and Luck fought in front of the black bulls base. He works at a local shelter, and plays baseball with kids at the community center. Hes a good guy with a tough demeanor. He also tries to help Yami whenever he can, with whatever he can.

Luck: After his mother died he was sent to a social living community, where his attitude to fight everyone was only strengthend. He ran away after an especially bloody fight and landed on Magnas hometurf. They got into a fight, which woke Yami up, and so he and Magna both ended up living there. Yami said, it was so they could attone for their sin of disturbing his sleep. Luck and Magna share a 2-Room flat, because there weren’t that many 1-room ones left. He works as a courierboy and is known for his quick deliverys, but he also really has a knack for electro-engineering. He plans to graduate, too, someday and to open up his own business.

 Charmy: Nobody exactly knows where Charmy comes from exactly. She just turned up one day after she saw, that the Bulls looked for a chef. She only talks about food, and the bulls understood after a while that she really does not want to talk about her past or family. All they know is that she is smaller than average for her age and that her obsession with food could come from shortages of that in her early life.

Gray: Is a nonbinary youth who ran away and lived on the streets. They like to change their looks, now that they make money by working for the black bulls, often just washing dishes, restocking and such. They are great at adapting to new jobs, if these dont require much human interaction. Also the peptalks from the bulls really help. They also posses a great talent for theater works, such as costume design and make up. If they weren’t so shy they would be a great actor too.

Zora: He is one of those inhabitants that come and go. Mostly hes some kind of lone wolf crusader, some sort of social justice warrior who either helps the poor when he sees them being mistreated or posts videos showing misconduct of upperclass jerks. He has a whole network going on, and often sends his videos to the police or news senders, if he has the feeling, that the law enforcement is sweeping something under the rug. He has a high IQ and is proficient in hacking. His mask is his sign, he always wears it when hes in action.

Yami: He is the son of immigrants, or was an illegal immigrant himself. If that was the case, i can imagine that Julius helped him getting citizen status after Yami stopped a Criminal on the run who just happened to run into his direction, looking dangerous and armed. He either is a Detective (private, not police), a headhunter or probation officer. Could also be a cop. Also he runs the Black Bulls bar, mostly so the inhabitants have a place to work at. 

- The Vermillions main Mansion would be huge, but more modern. Much space, training rooms, sports equipment, Medals, trophys and certificates won in various tournaments of all kinds by Mereo, Fuego and Leo covering a whole room.

-The Silvas Mansion would also be huge, but more in a Victorian ‘This house belonged to our family for generations’style. The colourscheme is cold, lots of Silva, blues and dark wood. Also so many chandeliers. So many. Also the family crest is everywhere. Its a place that could easily become a filmset for a historical movie. 

-They don’t have their name on the Postbox, just the crest. Thats how extra they are about it. (This has also often led to drunk or confused people thinking they are some sort of special church, and then trying to enter the house. These incidents always end with unamused Silvas)

- All the eldest children have moved out of their main Mansions, and live in Flats, Appartments and Mereo in a small house a bit out of the city. They all only come back together for celebrations or in cases of emergencies.

-The Black bulls Castle is officially Julius property, because he has the money and power, also he wants to help his eldest son Yami out. Its a total mess, but the Bulls manage to repair most of it themselves. They love their broken down house so much, the started to call it their castle on the clouds, mostly because it is the biggest building they’ve ever lived in, with more luxury they ever imagined they would ever get to enjoy. 

[tamiddyinyourcity]

LIKE..... BRO. It was so easy. I'd be self aware and go, "this doesnt bring me joy", then Marie Kondo the fuck out of my life.

I was so unafraid to do it to toxic situations, that dudes legit would go "ahhh fuck guess i better change or i cant be around her any more" and change for the better.

Like Marco, (a thot,) eventually realized that, yes, a girl is dead serious about you fucking off, if:

She says the sentence "fuck off" to everything you text her

Shes told your girlfriend about your cheating scandals maybe ten times or something by fuckin now

She legitimately threatens to get a restraining order

...

And since that nigga dont listen, he just plays the victim card (how do you play the victim.... when you're a cheating misogynist with no sense of self awareness?....)

And once he realized the victim card makes me more prone to curse his annoying ass out, he goes "alright fine, can i get you food or a movie or something?"

I still said no, but i guess even if hes stepping more into the "financial doormat" route for the hope of even a crumb or a smidgen of pussy, instead of "i will treat you like a human and not a sex object or my therapist", its a step in a direction that somewhat benefits me.

Havent talked to him since, for obvious reasons.

And with Patrick #1, i wasn't afraid to leave him. I literally thought, "He's attractive, really hot, but has the presence of a jar of pickle juice..... so, won't be missed", when we first started linking up. I was also dating Calvin as well, so hearing Patrick give me the "i don't wanna get TIED DOWNNN, yaknow? i wanna like, have ALL the experiences i can, while im young, yknow?", just made me laugh on the inside. ("I could give less of a fuck, my dude, youre just a placeholder for the sake of having more experiences when going outside", were my thoughts, before I got to see more actual personality, and not facade, from the guy.)

And then when anything was bad, I wasn't afraid to go. He's seeing multiple girls? Not afraid to go. Not begging him to stay. And surprisingly enough, he'd go "Ahhhh, fuck! Wait, wait wait wait", and huh.... He stayed and changed his ways.

It's not even me giving ultimatums, just me taking time to chill, going "I need some peace for myself, and, its not a healthy FWB/almost-a-relationship dynamic, if I feel this shitty", then peacefully describing wanting some peace for myself, some seperation.... then dipping.

Its odd. I won't even be trying. Idk, it felt like if I said "Sorry, im not gonna purchase this item", so a salesperson dashes out the door to chase me like "WAIT.... SHIT.... WE GOT A DISCOUNT I'VE NEVER MENTIONED BEFORE! NEW DISCOUNT! IT'S FINE! COME, TAKE IT!"

And that happened a few times in a relationship. Hiding texting multiple women behind my back? Leave. He instantly tries to get me back. Cool.

I decide that im not into the idea of dating him seriously if its not monogamous, and try to end things, for the sake of giving him freedom and keeping my own peace as well? Oh look, there we go, somehow I'm in his arms again. Makes a promise to communicate better... things work.

He gets hit on by some girl at work and calls me beforehand, asking to hit up the girl who asked him out and take her on a date... I finalize my decision about being uncomfortable as a whole. I just ask to be friends over a phone call. (I fully intended to keep fucking him, but i dont like feeling romantic attraction to someone who wouldnt be fine with me exclusively...)

He seemed fine with it.

Then a few hours later, spontaneously hit me up. Said he wanted to be monogamous with me. I asked if he was sure, and he said yes.

...

Then wallah, a relationship. Sounds good.

....

I did similar for Patrick #2. Since I wasn't afraid to leave. I was honest about things i didnt feel sure about.... you know.

And life was easy.

Because id go "this is doing more harm than good", and leave. And if the thing wanted to go, it could go. If it was someone who wanted to stay, thats cool, and a solution could be worked out.

....

Kinda like those moments. Knowing that I'm not totally forgettable to people I see.

[fictionalrat]

let it happen | chapter 4

read on ao3

9:40 A.M.

Lance saves the document, closes it, stares at his laptop desktop image until his eyes start to sting, groans in frustration, and slams his laptop shut. Puts it aside. He crosses his arms like a petulant child, he chews on his bottom lip, his eyes roam around his room.

He watches as the wind plays lazily with his curtains, making their shadows dance, swaying back and forth.

Something moves in his peripheral vision. He rolls his head to the side, fingers hovering over the keypad. The sight that meets him makes him pause, his fingers freeze, Keith looks so peaceful, he looks almost… ethereal. It’s kind of disturbing, yet mesmerizing at the same time.

Keith’s pale face glows a tender hue under the morning light, the sun tinges his chapped lips a deep pink, the scar under his left eye looks almost translucent.

Keith’s so… unfairly beautiful.

He catches himself tracing down the slopes of Keith’s face, the lines of his jaw, the curve of his upper lip with his eyes like a piece of chalk on canvas. He’s never seen something quite this stunning before in his life (granted, he’s only 22, but that’s beside the point), if only he knew how to draw like Keith does.

Lance can’t take this, his heart’s too weak.

He wants to bury his face in Keith’s ruffled hair, wants to breathe him in, wants to have him in his arms, wants to touch, but he seems so out of reach like this. Lance curls his fingers into fists, aching to touch. He restrains himself from charting pale, fading freckles down with his fingertips.

It… it’s very distracting, is what it is.

Keith scrunches up his nose, grumbles and throws an arm over his eyes. Lance’s breath catches in his throat.

Lance… Lance is fucked, he knows he’s fucked, he already knew that then (when Keith suggested this… arrangement), he knows that now, he’s known that for some time now, but it never fails to catch him by surprise. This… feeling never fails to overwhelm him. He fucking hates this… whatever this is, he has no fucking word for this… feeling. It claws at his throat, it kicks him the gut, it scorches his heart, it clenches his heart in a death-grip, it steps on it, it rips his heart apart.

Lance covers his face in his hands and rubs, groaning in frustration. This is ridiculous. He forces himself to look away, and focuses on drilling a hole into the wall with the force of his glare instead, running his tongue over one of his canines.

Do not distract yourself with cheesy rom-com bullshit, bitch, he scolds himself, Write. Yes, writing is good. Stressful, but good. Go back to writing. Avoid contact. Don’t look. Avert your eyes. Work. You’ve got work to do, so do it.

After about five or so minutes of glaring despondently into fucking space and hating himself for being pathetic, he does. He’s always been good at taking all his frustrations on his writing.

He pulls his laptop into his lap, opens it, double taps, and the document appears on the screen. The cursor blinks curiously at him, he blinks back, and sighs. He starts scanning it for typos, and corrects them, all the while grumbling about how fucking stupid he is, and how fucking stupid all those mistakes were.

He adds some of the worst expletives in big, bold and italic capital letters next to shitty, weird ass sounding paragraphs that don’t ever seem to get any better, even after rewriting them seven thousand three hundred and eighty-four fucking times. Doesn’t matter how many times he tries, how many times he bangs his fists on the keyboard, how hard he hits the keys, the words don’t ever seem to come out quite right.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

“¡BESA MI CULO, PUTO!” He snaps at one particularly dumb typo, and deletes its whole sentence out of spite.

Keith stirs, and groans next to him, turning his body towards Lance. Lance tenses, holding his breath and sitting very still until he’s super sure, 100% Keith won’t wake up. Keith sighs obliviously in his sleep, and turns on his stomach. Lance lets out a relieved breath, closing his eyes.

He snaps them open and shakes his head in frustration, “No seas tonto, Lance.”

He hits ctrl-z and skips the paragraph entirely, jumping to two paragraphs bellow, he reads it and gasps, “¿Qué carajo? Who wrote this? A fiveslgfjdjdfds.” A hand lands on the side of his face with a smack, smooching his cheek. Lance screams, - of course he does, how could he not. - and almost falls off the bed.

“SHUT YOUR ROTTEN MOUTH, I’M TRYING TO SLEEP,” Keith growls at him, voice raspy, and low, and terrifying. Even muffled by the pillow and drowsy, his voice doesn’t lose its aggressive edge. What the fuck.

Lance, after recovering his soul, turns his head so he can stare at Keith with raised brows, and huffs, “Hella lot of words coming from a sleeping person, I’d say.”

Keith groans and lifts his face off the pillow, glaring at him through squinty eyes, “Shut that fucking trap, you moldy piece of bread, or get out.”

“This is my fucking room, Keith,” Lance sputters, snapping his laptop shut for added effect, “you get out.”

“I’M SLEEPING, PISS OFF,” Keith kicks at Lance’s leg with enough force to bruise.

“OW! CAREFUL WITH MY COMPUTER, YOU BRUTE!”

Keith grumbles, turning his back to Lance and covering his head with Lance’s comforter. He curls into a ball, shutting Lance out.

Lance relocates his grumpy ass to the couch after flipping an oblivious, snoring Keith off.

He loves the guy, but damn, can he be an asshole so-

…Wait, did he just-

Oh, hell no.

10:34 A.M.

stud muffin so………….. do i even wanna know? probably not, but you’re gonna tell me anyway pidge, cover ur eyes

pidgeotto shut up hunk im not 5 GIVE ME DA DEETS LANCE

space boi lance AWWW MAN MY DUDES MY BROS MY PALS MIS HERMANOS

pidgeotto oh boy here we go…….. im regretting this already

space boi lance SHUT IT BIRD TURD anyway where was i before i was so rudely interrupted??? ah yeah OH MY GOD MY DUDES hes a screamer KEITH KOGANE OUR KEITH IS A SCREAMER ITS LIKE AAAAAA GUYS boi so thicc too goddem cant wait to have him up my ass honest such a nice dick 11/10 reallygreat work of art grade a AND DAT ASS!!!!!!!! GUH SO FUCKING SMOOTH he looks really nice when hes sleeping too so soft i want to chomp on his cheeks ughhhhhh how can he be so perfect its so unfair im swooning i swear to GOD he looks hot even when hes kicking me out of my own room which UNFAIR

A facebook notification pops up at the top of his phone screen in the middle of his rant.

Hunk Garrett tagged you in a post, it says.

Lance arches an eyebrow, “Huh.”

He taps it open.

Hunk Garrett is listening to the less i know the better, by tame impala i’d like to dedicate this song to my good pal Lance Martínez you know /why/ Pidge Holt and 5 others 

Pidge Holt  HOOOOOO BOY THE BURN THATS Y UR MY MAIN HO HUNK I LOVE U

Matthew Holt lol babe look at The Shade Takashi 

Takashi Shirogane Ah yes, that is indeed The Shade Of It All *scratches chin* Lance Martínez shiro i love u but dude ure embarrassing get off the internet Matthew Holt dont trash talk the baby lance Matthew Holt he’s sensitive Matthew Holt (ure adorable babe) Takashi Shirogane I take offence to that Lance Takashi Shirogane No more dog memes for you Lance Martínez NOOOOOO DAD NOT THE DOGGO MEMES Takashi Shirogane ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Pidge Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hunk Garrett ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Matthew Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lance Martínez u guys are absolute TRASH

Lance Martínez the WORST I TELL U WORST

Lance Martínez I NEED NEW FRIENDS ASAP 

Pidge Holt awwwwwwww lance i love u too Pidge Holt u can tell me everything later i’ll allow it Pidge Holt bring food Pidge Holt and redbull Pidge Holt tons of redbull Lance Martínez ure… ugh Lance Martínez i hate u Lance Martínez u tiny bird turd Pidge Holt URE tiny Lance Martínez GASP U TAKE THAT BACK Pidge Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hunk Garrett ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Matthew Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Takashi Shirogane ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Allura Ourania ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lance Martínez LULU NOT U TOO Allura Ourania ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11:35 A.M.

He’s avoiding the huge ass, one-sided, and glittery elephant in the room, he’s avoiding the fuck out of it. He’ll avoid the fuck out of it until it goes away, until it disappears for good, until it goes to fucking hell, until it’s burning in the fifth circle of hell.

He has no time for this.

This project is worth 40% of his grade.

His prof’s a mad man, yeah, but that’s how it is. He won’t flunk this class just because he can’t control his feelings.

He can’t, won’t, jeopardize his project just because of fucking feelings.

¡No, de ninguna puta manera! 

He needs a shower. 

And a joint. 

And coffee. 

Tons of coffee. 

But a shower first, then facials, then weed, then coffee.

Tons of coffee. 

He’ll also down a shot of tequila, because he’s feeling adventurous. 

(Reckless, he means reckless.)

1:45 P.M.

Lance’s minding his own business, stirring his way into his fifth?? possibly, probably, he’s not sure, cup of coffee, and stuffing his face with ham and pineapple pizza rolls in the kitchen after smoking a whole joint by himself in the bathroom, when he hears it. It is terrifying. A dull thud reverberates through the apartment, echoed by it; the most earth-shattering, ear-splitting shriek he’s ever heard.

“LANCE!”

He freezes, his heart plummets.

His spoon drops and clatters on the floor.

“LANCE, YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD,” the deity roars.

Lance squeaks like a fucking mice, and squats, hiding behind the counter.

Run. Pack your things and go, get out of town. Flee to Europe, change your name-

He presses his overheated cheek to the counter and sighs, so good. He grins wide.

Keith’s feet smack on the floor as he stomps, over-aggressively, I dare add, out of Lance’s room, “What the fuck did you do to my ass, you rotten egg?” His voice is louder now, much louder. Lance jumps mid giggle-fit, which sets him off into another one.

“ME!” Lance peers over the countertop and raises his hand, waving sluggishly and cackling, bloodshot eyes wide. Well, as wide as they can go, which, honestly, isn’t much, considering, “I DID THE FUCK! I PUT MY DICK IN - HAH - YOUR ASS! YOU LET ME - HAHAH - IT WAS WILD!”

Keith takes a long look at him and, like a flip has switched, his scowl melts and he bursts out laughing, his nose crinkling up. It’s so fucking adorable, Lance’s heart hurts. It burns. It screams in pain. Lance laughs the pain away like the idiot he is, or maybe just because he’s high as fuck. One can never be too sure, ya feel.

“I know that, you fucking stoner, I mean THE BRUISES.” He points at his bare hips, trying to catch his breath.

Lance’s eyes travel south.

Helloooo there, legs.

Wait, he went too far.

Go back two frames.

There, hips.

Lance blinks, and tries to open his eyes further. He can’t.

He blinks again.

Oh.

Ho boy, he did a number on the guy alright.

Also, this part is super wild, bare with him, it looks weirdly… beautiful? It’s gorgeous, actually. It’s a masterpiece, Lance is an artist.

The red and purple splotches scattered across Keith’s skin are… kind of blurring together in one big ass bruise, that reminds him oddly of the Milky Way. Lance fights hard against the white urge to draw an alien-head above Keith’s hipbone. Keith probably wouldn’t mind it, though. The nerd. Lance chuckles.

Keith clears his throat.

Lance flicks his eyes up at Keith, blinks languidly at him several times. Keith’s waiting for something, isn’t he? What is it again? He rakes his brain for an answer. It beeps.

Ah, yeah.

An answer, right. He needs to answer Keith, duh.

Lance cackles at his stupidity.

“Oh, that.” Lance wipes his eyes on his sleeve in between chuckles as he finally answers, sniffing. He braces his arms on the counter and pushes himself up on his feet, winking, “I’m not sorry about that.” He lies his torso on the counter, smooching his cheek against the cool surface, and shoots Keith a lopsided smile.

Keith shakes his head, “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, but you looooooove me,”  Lance sing-songs, finger gunning lazily with a grin.

Keith rolls his eyes fondly, and gets closer, dragging one of the stools from under the counter, and sitting down gingerly, wincing a little. His eyes flicker swiftly to something as he settles, before they land on Lance again. Keith frowns, “Should you be drinking coffee?”

Lance frowns back, puzzled, turning his head so he can look at his mug. “Shouldn’t I?” He wonders.

Keith leans over the counter, elbows propped up, and starts picking idly at one of the pizza rolls sitting pretty on the plate in front of him, “It doesn’t affect your high?”

Lance gasps. His pizza rolls. “No touching, you fugly mullet, it’s mineeeeee,” Lance whines, reaching forward and swatting Keith’s fugly hand away. He snatches the plate from Keith and brings it closer to himself, tucking it in between his arms, away from pizza roll-thieving mullets. Lance sticks out his tongue at him, before fitting two of the biggest rolls in his mouth. At the same time. For emphasis. His cheeks puff out.

Keith ducks his head to hide his grin. “You look like a chipmunk,” he comments nonchalantly, tapping his knuckles idly on the surface.

“Nhobowdshy ashkd yuh, Puhtrish,” Lance shoots back.

Keith rolls his eyes and flips him off with both hands, leaning back on his stool.

Lance flashes him the half-chewed food.

“Fuck, that’s gross.”

“Ah.” Lance struggles to swallow all of it dry, but manages, “I forgot to - clears throat - answer, coffee doesn’t affect my high much.” He shrugs, taking a bite off one of the rolls. Keith hums.

Lance swallows, “Pass me the straw, please. The long, bendy one.” He gestures a thumb back.

Keith slides from the stool in one smooth movement, makes his way around the counter and goes for the drawers. Lance hears as it slides open, “Which color?”

“Purple,” Lance answers over his shoulder.

He stretches his arm when Keith pulls the straw out and makes a grabby hand at him.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Keith holds the straw over his head.

“Gimme, or I’ll punch your di-I-i-aaAAAAAah,” he tries to steal the straw from Keith, but loses his footing and almost dives face-first into the cold, hard floor. “¡Coño!” He fumbles to keep upright, hooking a hand on the edge of the other side of the counter. Thank fuck for long fingers.

Lance manages to get his balance back by planting his feet firmly on the ground. Keith makes his way back to his stool, and once he’s settled, he hands Lance the straw already stretched. Keith’s lips quiver in a poorly concealed attempt not to laugh, eyes twinkling mirthfully.

Lance rolls his eyes as he throws the straw into his cup, propping himself on his elbow and resting his chin on his palm.

Keith makes gagging sounds, bangs falling on his eyes.

Lance ignores him in order to bring the straw to his lips with his free hand, and suck the coffee, swallowing in an obnoxiously loud gulp.  

Keith’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “You’re gross,” Keith comments, tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Thanks, I try,” Lance grins around his straw, then frowns at Keith’s bare chest. “Shouldn’t you put on some clothes, though?” Lance asks, eyes half-lidded, “It’s freezing, Keith.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, looking down. “Off-topic, but no, Lance, it’s not,” he shoots Lance a look, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “And how would you know, anyway? You’re high.”

“What’s this jealousy I’m feeling? There’s more, you know.” He pats the breast pocket of his sweatshirt with a dopey smile, and meets Keith’s eyes as he takes a sip, waggling his brows. He swallows and winks, “Don’t need to get all broody on me, grumpy pants.”

Keith hides his face on his arms and groans. Lance can see the blush rising on Keith’s neck, and allows himself a mental pat on the back as he pushes himself upright.

“Okay, let’s go,” Lance trots towards his bedroom.

3:32 P.M.

When they sober up enough to get stuff done, they throw themselves on the couch, legs tangled because why not, right? It’s not like Lance’s life makes any sense, anyway.

Lance with the camera in his hands and laptop on his stomach, Keith with his headphones around his ears, and one of his weird, edgy sci-fi books resting on his thighs.

Lance rests his head on the armrest and hits play.

Keith’s feet tap a comforting rhythm against Lance’s.

4:02 P.M.

Keith falls asleep against the couch, mouth slightly open.

Lance does a poor job at reducing the volume of his laughter at his dramatics on video. Even though Keith’s got his headphones on, Lance still manages to wake him up, and ends up getting kicked in the shin by a very rumpled, grumpy, and over-sized baby with a fugly mullet for that.

He tries not to laugh again.

…He fails miserably, and both his shins suffer.

Terribly.

4:30 P.M.

Because Lance has shit luck, and the universe is out to get him, they didn’t manage to catch Keith’s o-face on video. Life is unfair, God hates him, Jesus hates him, even Buddha must hate him, because this, right here, has got to be some sort of twisted divine punishment. Maybe it’s Karma, maybe he was a murderer in his past life, he doesn’t know. What he does know, though, is that this must be fixed.

“Dude,” he kneels on the couch and shakes Keith’s knee to wake him up, “Dude. DUDE!”

Keith’s eyes flutter open and he squints at Lance, blinking blearily, utterly confused.

Lance sits back on his heels and he offers Keith the camera, “Look.”

Keith, while frowning up at him, sits up and takes it. He yawns, unplugging his headphones from his phone and into the camera. He hits play.

Keith snaps the camera shut after about ten minutes, a furious blush burning his high cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. He still looks mildly confused, though, and astoundingly flustered, bringing his knees to his chest.

Lance bites on his bottom lip and heaves a huge breath. “We’ll have to tape chapter 1 again,” he clarifies.

Keith lifts an eyebrow, face still bright red, “Because…”

“I can’t see your face when you’re coming, dude.” Lance explains, waving his hands at the camera in exasperation, “That’s unacceptable, you know. really preposterous. I can’t have this, I can’t WRITE like this. This is a disaster. We gotta redo this, Keith. It’s a matter of life and death.” He grabs both Keith’s knees and shakes.

“But- I’m awake now, dipshit, quit shaking me,” He snaps, batting Lance’s hands away from his knees, “But… don’t you remember my face when I was actually coming yesterday?”

So, you see… remember when Lance mentioned he has shit luck, and the universe is out to get him, and some sort of divine punishment is being inflicted upon him? There’s another reason to back up that assessment.

They not only hadn’t caught Keith’s o-face on video, but he also didn’t get to see Keith’s o-face in living color yesterday because he had his fucking eyes closed. Which rude, Lance. That is just plain rude. There’s no excuses. That’s probably why God, Jesus, and Buddha hate you this much.

Lance hangs his head. “I- I had my eyes closed,” he confesses, accepting defeat.

“You’re hopeless.”

Lance’s head shoots up and he gasps, “Excuse!”

“No,” Keith stands up abruptly, almost kneeing Lance’s nose in the process.

Lance squawks and reels back, out of reach, eyes wide, “Wha-”

“Shut the fuck up, you dry raisin,” Keith glares accusingly at him and Lance flinches, “I’ll fix this.”

“Kei-”

Keith’s arm shoots up, and he points his index finger at Lance, thick eyebrows pinched. “Stay put,” he warns, waving his finger, “don’t fucking move, don’t breathe.”

Lance is too confused to react, or even say anything, so he just gapes.

“Just… stay there, I’ll be quick.”

Keith returns buck naked, with a dildo and the lube in hands.

Lance’s at a loss, he’s a loss for words, his sass is gone, along with his ability to form coherent thoughts. Keith has that effect on him, apparently. Keith always finds a way to give Lance whiplash.  

Keith dumps the stuff on the coffee table and turns his attention to Lance, he chuckles at what he sees there, “Shut your mouth, Lance, you’ll catch a fly.”

Lance finds his voice. “Wha-” he clears his throat, and shakes his head before continuing, “What the fuck?” (Eloquent.)

Keith rolls his eyes as he picks up the camera, “You’re gonna tape me as I touch myself.”

Keith hands Lance the camera.

“I don’t…” Lance takes it, still completely dumbfounded.

Keith cuts him off, “I told you I’d fix this, didn’t I? So this is me, fixing it.”

Something in Lance’s brain seems to click.

“Oh,” he replies dumbly.

Oh no, is what he means, no fucking way. He’s gonna die today.

Yup, today is the day.

“Okay, so…” Keith claps his hands, “scooch over, I need the space.”

Lance’s eyes widen, “You really gonna do this here? On the couch?”

“Is there a problem?”

Yes. There’s a ton of problems, actually. Not with Keith doing it on the couch, but still, there’s a problem. Tons of problems. These problems have problems. For one, Lance will probably die. For two, he can’t do this anymore. He can’t but he has to, and he will because his project is worth 40% of his final grade, he will because he has to. He has the moral duty to prove to Keith, and to himself, that he, as a matter of fact, can do this, even if he’ll end up hurt. Fuck his feelings.

“No, no, nope, no problem at all. I’m all up for jerking off on the couch, sign me the fuck up. It’s just…” Lance blows a raspberry, scratching the back of his head, looking around the room, uncertain. He can’t meet Keith’s eyes, “it looks too cramped, I think? I was just, uhm, thinking that maybe, I don’t know, you’d prefer doing this on a bed?”

Keith snorts, “Nah, it’s okay.”

Lance finally looks at him, searching his face, “You sure? Like, 100%?”

Keith rolls his eyes, “Yes Lance, don’t worry, just… keep the camera on me.”  

Lance sits upright, crisscrossing his legs, and points the camera at Keith.