#NOT ME.

[pessimisticgh0st]

I feel like Gertrude Robinson by just letting this blog become an absolute mess with the one way to actually somewhat navigate it being quite unreliable, except there is no eldritch horror I'm trying to deceive and it's just my own laziness and unwillingness to do anything

[bucknastysbabe]

Arcie sent me the most cursed edit of Criston but like…

If you gave me a half-pint of Tito’s, all expensives paid plastic surgery, trilogy on vinyl, 1 xanny bar, and Fabien in a room I’m getting him pregnant.

And the wallpaper will be mysteriously gone.

[theshadowrealmitself]

Anyone else have that experience where a group will constantly default to a flavor “everyone” likes, but you fucking hate that flavor?

I can’t stand rocky road ice cream.

[baiboop]

also how fast do you think michael shut down the nickname “mike”?

like do you think he shut it down before adam even said it?

—

*adam thinking “i’m gonna say ‘hey mike’ to michael hehe”*

adam approaches michael and opens his mouth to speak but before he can utter even a syllable michael cuts in with

“absolutely not. do not continue executing the action you have planned.”

and adams all like, “what the hell man, i haven’t even said anything??”

michael just deadpans and says, “you didn’t have to we co-inhabit the same mind and body. and i’m not planning on letting that thought leave your brain.”

adam throws up his hands like ‘whatever’ and walks away, cursing at ‘mike’ in his head.

“i can still hear what you are thinking, adam. it’s michael.” michael calls out.

“okay! whatever, michael!” adam yells back, still cursing at him in his head but cursing at “michael” not “mike”

“that better, thank you.” michael smiles.

and adam is piiiissseedddd, the end

[detectiveneve]

set my alarm for 5 am to wake up early and be productive. then at 11pm was like "lol who am I kidding." well I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep. so who's laughing now.

[thatoneluckybee]

Okay, I've seen some people talk about this before, is anyone else almost incapable of recognizing themself in a photograph or picture?

Like logically yeah, that's me, that's what my face looks like, but it doesn't "feel" like me. Like someone went and sloppily recreated my appearance or photoshopped my facial features? Idk I can't picture myself in my head well without a picture reference so maybe that's it

[hudsonlowesbills]

Napoleon had a guitar, who knew?

[gorillaxyz]

people on insta HATE whiny guys who are dependent on the woman theyre with so much

[vatalla]

stopped paying attention to hu for two seconds and johnny has the nerve to collab with tx2

[caressthosecheekbones]

I did it. I fucking did it. I passed the driving test. 🙏😭😂🥵🤪🥳🥰😍😭🥳😅🥹🙏🤪💞🥵🤣🥂

[ouuttanowhere]

wow who forgets to turn on their ask box…

[obviouschild2014]

Who up watching nta 2015 special recognition david tennant the reaction

[spaciebabie]

your obsession with peepaw is hilarious and fascinating in equal measures i would like to study you under a microscope

feel free man im not going anywhere and my shenanigans WONT stop anytime soon

[britneyshakespeare]

You know what's funny. I've had a lot of family functions in honor of my brothers lately (who have had children and gotten married in the last couple years) where I've had to mingle with and get to know their friends. I always love seeing their guy friends reaction to when I call them Jonny or Danny or other cute little sister terms. I love their culture shock.

[pekodayz]

this would never happen but if someone in class asks me if im pekodayz im decimating them on the spot

[finnslay]

My 1 am conversation with...me

✨️🏳️‍🌈Sexuality Edition🏳️‍🌈✨️

🧠: You're lesbian...

🧍🏻: Yes..? I guess

🧠: But you also like enbies..enbies...

🧍🏻: yeah..? Why?

🧠: and girls and enbies is two...but theres multiple types of enbies...

🧍🏻: Yes? So?

🧠: So you like two or more genders...so you're technically bi

🧍🏻: No-

🧠: You like many, but not all genders. So you're poly?

🧍🏻: ...sexuality is fluid now fuck off and let me sleep...

🧠: So you admit it?

🧍🏻: I have my joyfriend. That's what I care about. Not her gender

🧠: so pan????

🧍🏻: just shut up I don't care about the labels

🧠: you do. You know it. Like ace

🧍🏻: We are not brining the asexuality umbrella into this. Goodnight.

(Note: It was NOT goodnight after this)