#NO 'CAUSE WHEN I ADDED THE DINOSAUR ELEMENTS TO HIM

[crispycreambacon]

Profe-dino-ssor. Everyone clap.

[metalatias5]

Say what is the story for the Elemental AU of Simon ?

I'm guessing by Elemental AU you mean my AT Avatar AU

It's a bit of a long one to explain, hence why I haven't made an AU summary for it yet like I have for my other Adventure Time AU's, but at its very base it's an ATLA inspired AU, sort of merging ATLA's bending system into the world of Adventure Time while I take complete creative liberty changing around the story, history, characters and their relationships

For example, Simon in this AU was born an Ice Elemental and prince of the Ice Kingdom, being the son of Urgence Evergreen and twin brother of Patience Evergreen. There's also a whole story going on with him and Prince Chicle of the Candy Kingdom (which started out as a joke crack ship of mine until I just became way too fond of the two of them together in this AU, their ship name is Ice Cream)

Other notable things to mention without diving too deep and making this too long of a post rambling on trying to explain this AU include: - Finn being the Avatar (functioning the same as in ATLA, he can bend fire, candy, ice and slime and act as a bridge to the spirit world) - Jake being a slime-bender (potentially even being part Elemental, haven't decided yet, but he's basically stretchy because his whole body is more or less slime) - Marceline still being Simon's sort-of adopted daughter after losing her mom, though she's not a vampire in this AU (at least not yet) - Gunther the dinosaur is alive in current times, acting as Simon's assistant/adoptive son - There's a whole story arc I've come up with where Chicle gets lost at sea while out on a several year long venture with Patience and when she returns without him (now Queen) Bonnie suspects that she got rid of him on purpose, causing tension between the kingdoms - Also when Patience returns from that trip she challenges her (then King) brother Simon to an Ice Duel and kicks him off the throne - Betty also exists in this AU, being a human who got adopted by the family of Doctor Princess who's obsessed with studying the Elements, Elementals, bending, etc - Besides the four main elements (Fire, Candy, Ice and Slime) there are also four anti-Elements (Light, Lumps, Night and Death) - Besides the Mushroom War there was also the Elemental War, which ended up driving the humans out of the land and to what would become Founders Island

Again, I don't want to ramble too much because this would get LONG, but this might give you a bit of an idea already I still haven't quite worked everything out anyway, there are always things subject to be added or changed, but I still have a lot more details already that I could be getting into potentially ^^'

[cloudninetonine]

Imagine Brachi being the gentle graceful giant to contrast Player's gremliness. Despite their immense height in full size, they practiced so much that the risk of accidentally stepping on someone like Four is low even in a chaotic battle. Also I can see the Chain using the Brachiosaurus' head as a sniper rest and just fire arrows from above especially Wild. Plus Four would hop on the fella's head to shout 'How's the weather down there?!' if someone calls him short.

Small size, I see Brachi sleeping in a random Link's bag. Player finds it both cute and funny. They do it to all members of the Chain but no one knows who'll get the scaly fellow next. Just open the flap and get a surprised dinosaur kiss to the cheek.

Also Brachi's appearance would cause utter chaos in Calm(Calamity)'s era more than in Wild's. Like they just got over a recent apocalypse with less destruction and casualties so a group of strangers looking for the hero already got suspicion. When the small lizard with those strangers cak become a flood summoning beast? Whoo boy.

On an unrelated note, Legend would absolutely hate being near the T. Rex in any form. Since said dino is the ancestor to chickens so he probably having a heart attack from the thought alone. More considering T.rex is a Fire Element and one card attack is breathing fire.

Tall Dino go brrrrrrr- Just little Brachi stomping about after the Chain, sating at bushes and such, they're a great added addition and I feel Epona loves them.

Feel she's a little intimidated when she sees their giant size but still great companions- Brachi gently running their face against her.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

I hope the rumours of Louis being a brothel owner aren't true, but if they are I can sort of see why they're going for this route? I mean, with a black Louis they can't have him being a slaver anymore, so maybe they're trying to find something that is also morally reprehensible for him to be.

TL;DR: My kneejerk reaction was to be saddened, and I don’t like that this is starting up, and will continue to fuel, fandom drama. Ultimately, if we want peace, we’ll embrace the fact that the existence of this adaptation doesn’t take away from the existence of the books, and it also doesn't mean we have to acknowledge it.

It makes me wonder whether AMC wants us to make a storm about this. We’ll see...

After all, what makes this adaptation any more important than the graphic novels of the ’90s, the graphic novel Claudia’s Story, movie!IWTV, or movie!QOTD? In fact, many fans here on tumblr consider VC to be a trilogy only!!! and don’t accept the majority of the PUBLISHED CANON so what makes anyone think we have any obligation to swallow this AMC adaptation as some kind of gospel?

I see movie!QOTD as a buffet of ideas carried in an official fanfiction work, and I don’t accept as my headcanon the various things it changed about the books that I didn’t particularly like, such as merging Magnus and Marius (which, IMO, effectively made both characters more morally reprehensible). I accepted the things I did enjoy, like casting a Black/POC actress to play Akasha. I see this AMC adaptation as a buffet of ideas, some can be taken, and some not, it’s just another official fanfiction work.

[Anon, I need to catch other ppl up on the information, too.]

Deadline.com informs us that in the AMC adaptation for Interview with the Vampire, Jacob Anderson has been cast as Louis. I'm not familiar with him, but it looks like he’s a successful actor, from Game of Thrones and other things, he’s also joining Series 13 of Doctor Who. I’ll have to check him out from an acting standpoint!

Aside from his talent as an actor, this is by far the most controversial thing that's happened in VC fandom recently. I've been thinking about this for a few months now, talking about it privately online and offline, still gathering my thoughts. So this post is not engraved in stone, it’s initial thoughts on this.

I’m glad to see ppl talking about it and I’m sure we’ll have more public discussions. I’m trying to discuss it very carefully, but also, this is an entertainment blog, my opinions are mine alone, and I’m not looking for dogpiling on anyone, I have no obligation to respond publicly or privately to anything. Plenty of other ppl have differing opinions on this. So take all of the following with more than a grain of salt, I’m not being salty, I’m providing the links to the little info we’ve seen pulicly, I’m giving my initial thoughts, and I’m also trying to add a little levity because ultimately, again, this is an entertainment blog, and I try to add a little humor to help with such serious topics, humor can help ppl talk about controversial things.

-----

The casting of a POC/Black actor (I’m sorry I don't know the preferred terminology, let me know if you know what Anderson prefers) confirms at least one part of theilluminerdi articles that stated that Louis’ race will be different from the books. I didn’t post about these before bc I wasn’t sure how reliable theilluminerdi’s sources are (and I'm still not sure), but this was one major aspect that theilluminerdi announced before Deadline did, so now seems to be the right time to share those articles. For now, you can go check them out yourselves rather than have my reposting of the information, trigger warning: mentions of sex workers and race in the changes to the canon story of Interview with the Vampire.

>>>theilluminerdi articles from May 21, 2021 and July 15, 2021:

www.theilluminerdi.com/2021/05/21/interview-with-the-vampire-amc

www.theilluminerdi.com/2021/07/15/interview-with-the-vampire-amc-2

^Meme of Dr. Ian Malcom from Jurassic Park reads: “Your writers were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

I’m using that meme with a little levity here, clearly an AMC adaptation of vampires in which the producers/writers have chosen to change the race of a main character (arguably the original protagonist of the series) isn’t in the same VICINITY as the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park that broke out of containment and killed visitors to the park, but John Hammond’s intention for the creation of that park was very good, as I assume this race change was intended. Time will tell.

“But with this place, I wanted to show them something that wasn't an illusion. Something that was real, something that they could see and touch. An aim not devoid of merit.”

“Creation is an act of sheer will.” 

- John Hammond, Jurassic Park

Race is a more complicated subject than ever, so for AMC to make this bold change, I hope they have POC and Black writers on staff and are handling this very carefully. Even then, no racial group, including POC and Black people, are a hivemind, disagreements are bound to happen in the writing room, whether in good faith or bad. People have different intentions and motives, compromises will probably be made with the story in many ways, we all know how it goes with collaborations; the end product is a shared vision among multiple creators. This could be a potentially controversial adaptation, I don’t know whether they’re aiming for that or not, but with the elements it has so far, it seems to be headed that way.

Here's a comment by "Angellus" on the 5/21 article. It's undeniable that there's going to be the accusation of racism thrown at anyone who has any negative view of this change, regardless of their reasons. I find it unfair and narrow-minded that any negative response is automatically assumed to be coming from a racist point of view. To say that changing Louis' race is unequivocally an improvement fails to take into account how that change has a Domino effect on all of the other parts of the story. Not the least of which is that, if he is still a slaver/slave holder/plantation owner/(insert your preferred term) that adds a whole new racist element to his owning Black/POC people, even though, apparently there were Black/POC plantation owners. 

Not the least of which: How will this change impact his relationship with Lestat? Particularly when Lestat has the added issue of being described in those articles as having “mind control abilities” and “insistent that he gets what he wants and when facing rejection,” a terrible combination in terms of consent, even in a relationship of the same race, let alone invoking Caucasian/white dominance over Black/POC people, AND Lestat being the catalyst to Louis’ questioning his sexuality:

Lestat is insistent that he gets what he wants and when facing rejection, petulance can quickly turn to ruthless rage which causes frenzied acts of horrifically brutal violence. Lestat also has mind control abilities. Lestat initially infuriates Louis, but this soon turns to fascination which leads Louis to question his religion and sexuality. 

^Screencap reads: "I love how racist everyone is in the damn comments, this doesn’t pervert the story you’re all racist and it’s disgusting. I’m looking forward to it, I hope you keep crying your salty racist tears asswipes."

It makes me question whether Angellus truly believes what they wrote, if this is an ideology, or a troll. I would suggest their use of the term “pervert” is correct though, pervert means: “alter (something) from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended.” That’s what this race change does, factually. Although, in this context, “distortion or corruption” carries a negative connotation. It would take a lot to show how this change does not meet the definition or “to pervert,” though.

I hope the rumours of Louis being a brothel owner aren't true

I agree 1,000%, I was hoping that these were just rumors. But, aside from the race change, if this were the only change, I find Louis being a brothel owner to be equivalently morally reprehensible to being a slaver/slave holder/plantation owner/(insert your preferred term). Ideally, they’d change his career to something that doesn’t involve benefiting from the bodies/labor of others in any morally reprehensible manner.

I mean, with a black Louis they can't have him being a slaver anymore, so maybe they're trying to find something that is also morally reprehensible for him to be.

He might still be a slaver. Who knows. Being morally reprehensible as a mortal man didn’t seem to me to be crucial to the story, but they still could have chosen something better. It seems to me like they want a brothel so they can have eye candy for an audience who want to see sex workers, maybe full frontal nudity. 

-----

What also gets my attention is that Anne and Christopher Rice have not yet posted publicly about it, which leads me to believe that this change wasn’t their choice. They take every chance to brag when they’re proud of something, every chance to crowdsource about casting ideas or which VC books Anne’s fans liked best, etc., and in this case, as of Aug. 31, 2021, (and to be fair, maybe I missed it), I haven’t seen either of them post about this on the official VC FB, Anne Rice’s FB, Annerice.com, Christopher Rice’s FB, or christopherricebooks.com. If it had been their choice, I think they would have gladly trumpeted their credit by now, but maybe they’re waiting to do it in a specific venue. Time will tell.

[raisedbyfandomwolves]

prompt: write something bad :)

YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD ME WITH THIS.

BUT YOU WERE WRONG.

I TRIUMPHED.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

...

(clears throat)

Anyway, enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom called Cryptun and it was ruled by the kind and beautiful Princess Ka-rah. Princess Ka-rah was as kind as she was beautiful and everyone in her kingdom loved her because she was the best princess ever and she made sure they were always happy.

One day, Princess Ka-rah was travelling to a village on the border of her kingdom when she found a handsome young man lying on the side of the road. He looked hurt so Princess Ka-rah decided to bring him back to her castle and help him get better.

When the handsome young man finally woke up, he told Princess Ka-rah that his name was Mi-key and he had been attacked by evil pirates who had stolen everything he had. Princess Ka-rah felt bad for him so she told him that he could stay with her until he was all better and could go home.

While Mi-key was getting better in Princess Ka-rah's castle, he caused a lot of trouble like a naughty stray puppy. Mi-key played a lot of pranks and made Princess Ka-rah very angry a lot of times but the pranks were actually really funny and no one ever got hurt and also he would say the funniest jokes ever and she would laugh until she forgot why she was angry at him.

After another one of Mi-key's pranks one morning, Princess Ka-rah was chasing him through the palace garden to scold him when suddenly a giant robot T-Rex appeared and attacked her. Just as it was going to really hurt her, Mi-key flew into the air and used his magic cape to defeat the giant robot T-Rex.

Princess Ka-rah was very happy he had saved her and actually she secretly like-liked him a lot so she asked him if he wanted to stay with her forever. Mi-key was also very happy because he secretly like-liked her a lot too so he said yes and the giant robot T-Rex became their pet.

While they were having a party to celebrate Mi-key staying, however, a dark cloud of evil magic appeared in the room and two ugly evil-looking women came out of it. The older ugly evil-looking woman turned out to be Queen Le-xe of the nearby kingdom of Daxxim and the other one was her daughter Princess Lee-na. Queen Le-xe was actually the evil stepmother of Mi-key who was actually the prince of Daxxim and she was there to kill him so that her daughter Princess Lee-na could rule Daxxim instead.

Princess Ka-rah was very angry at Prince Mi-key for not telling her that he was actually a prince but Prince Mi-key told her that he had been hurt that day by evil pirates that Queen Le-xe had sent to kill him. He told her that he had been scared to tell her the truth because he didn't want to go home and get killed but also because he like-liked her a lot the moment he saw her and wanted to stay with her instead.

Even though she was still a little angry at Prince Mi-key, Princess Ka-rah decided to forgive him because she was super kind and because she still like-liked him a lot too so she told Queen Le-xe that she wasn't going to let the ugly evil stepmother queen or her ugly evil daughter hurt him.

Queen Le-xe and Princess Lee-na were very angry so they decided to try and kill Princess Kara too but Princess Kara and Prince Mi-key used their magic capes to fight the evil queen and princess and they won. Then the giant robot T-Rex which had also been sent by the evil Queen Le-xe to kill Prince Mikey chomp-chomp-chomped the evil queen and princess because they were really really mean to him last time.

Now that Queen Le-xe and Princess Lee-na were dead, Prince Mi-key was safe and he could go home to become the king of Daxxim. Even though she was very happy for him, Princess Ka-rah was also very sad because she didn't want to say goodbye to Prince Mi-key.

Then Prince Mi-key said he didn't want to leave her so he asked her to marry him and bring their kingdoms together. Princess Ka-rah was really really happy to hear that so of course she said yes and they had a big beautiful wedding and lived happily ever after and had lots of beautiful babies.

---xXx---

“The end,” Abigail finished reading with a proud smile on her face before looking up at her parents who were sitting on the couch in front of her. “What do you think of my story, Mommy, Daddy?”

Both Kara and Mike could only blink, stupefied, as they tried to find the words to answer their daughter. “Well... it's, um... it's very... unique,” Kara ventured hesitantly. “Just, um... I just have a few questions?”

Mike covertly pinched her thigh with just enough strength to get her attention. “Kara, are you seriously going to critique our six-year-old daughter's writing assignment?”

“I'm not critiquing! I just want to clarify a few things!” Kara hissed angrily before plastering a smile on her face and turning back towards an earnest and oblivious Abigail. “So, um... Why is... Shouldn't Princess Ka-rah be a queen if she's ruling her kingdom?”

“But princesses are cooler than queens, Mommy!” Abigail protested with a frown.

“I... I see...” It was only then that Kara remembered they'd had a Disney Princesses movie marathon during Abigail's sleepover party just a week ago. “Okay, um... So how was it Princess Ka-rah didn't recognise... um, Prince Mi-key if he was from a kingdom so close to hers? I mean, she had to have seen him at least once before, right?”

“Oh, she's just silly like that,” Abigail giggled.

Mike made a shoddy attempt at disguising his snicker with a cough that turned into a pained wheeze when Kara ground her heel into his foot.

“A-And... why a giant robot T-Rex?” Kara asked next, knowing that her husband would be even more insufferable if she asked more questions about Princess Ka-rah's 'silliness'.

Abigail beamed. “Because robots are cool and dinosaurs are cool so robot dinosaurs are twice as cool!”

“...I see.” It struck Kara then that 'because it's cool' was probably going to be the reason for all the random elements in her daughter's story. “Is that... Is that why Prince Mi-key suddenly has a magic cape too?”

“That's because he's a superhero!” Abigail cheerfully corrected her mother as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Mike instantly sat up straight. “Wait, he's a prince and a superhero?”

“Uh huh!”

Kara glared at her husband and the stupid self-satisfied grin growing on his face, all too sure exactly what he was thinking. “Well then, that means Princess Ka-rah is a superhero too since she also has a magic cape, right?” A magic cape she didn't have until that last moment out of the blue, she added mentally.

Abigail nodded vigorously, too caught up in her enthusiasm to notice the looks her parents were giving each other. “That's another reason they're perfect together!”

“...Okay...” Deciding that she was probably going to get even stranger answers if she asked any more questions about this particular aspect of the story, Kara moved on but not before throwing one last glare in Mike's direction. “So... um, one last question: Was it really necessary for, uh, Queen Le-xe and Princess Lee-na to be, um... eaten by the... giant robot T-Rex?”

“But they're evil, Mommy!” Abigail insisted in a way that only a six year old could. “Evil people should get eaten by giant robot T-Rexes! Then there would be less evil people in the world and the robot T-Rexes won't go hungry!”

It was at that point that Kara finally gave up and decided to let things be... until she heard Mike let out another poorly disguised snicker. That was it. If she had to suffer – okay, so maybe she had brought it on herself but that was not the point – then so did he. “So what did you think of the story, honey?” she asked in a voice that dripped with false sweetness.

Mike predictably choked once he realised both his wife and daughter were now looking at him very intensely for different reasons. “Uh... I've, uh... never heard anything like it before,” he floundered for a bit at first before inspiration struck and he beamed. “It's very avant-garde for sure.”

Abigail's eager expression turned into one of adorable confusion. “Evan... card...?” she tried and failed to repeat what her father had said. “What does that mean, Daddy?”

The smile on Mike's face instantly vanished. “Uhhh... It means rich people will pay a lot of money for it!” he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

Just like that, Abigail's smile returned in full force. “So it's good?”

Once again, Mike was rendered speechless and even Kara had to blink at their daughter's conclusion. “Uhhh... yes...?” he offered uncertainly.

“Yay! Thanks, Mommy, Daddy!” With a great big cheer, Abigail ran over to hug both her parents in turn. “I'm going to go draw pictures to go with my story now!”

For several long minutes after Abigail had run off to her room, both Kara and Mike could do nothing more than stare blankly at the spot where their daughter had been standing.

Unsurprisingly, Kara was the first to speak. “She's not going to... draw us, is she?”

Mike levelled a flat look at her. “Considering the names of her characters are nearly identical to ours, what do you think?”

“Oh god...” she groaned in embarrassment as she buried her face in her hands. “Her teachers are going to think- I don't even know what they're going to think about us now.”

“You're overreacting,” he brushed off her fretting breezily. “At most, they'll probably chalk it up to how much she loves us or something. Which, you know, is pretty true since she clearly thinks we're cool enough to be royalty and superheroes at the same time.”

“Of course you'd focus on that part...” she muttered accusingly. “I bet you didn't even notice that our daughter seems to have forgotten the 'stranger danger' talk we had with her if she's writing about bringing home random guys lying on the side of the road as a good thing...”

“Kara, it's a story that didn't even make sense most of the time! I mean, pirates on land? A giant robot T-Rex? Magic capes appearing out of nowhere? You're really taking it way too seriously.”

“Am not! I-I'm just... concerned about what it might mean! Mike, our daughter is writing about... about people getting essentially murdered in a very gruesome manner!”

“Evil people, Kara. And they're just characters.”

“Characters very obviously based on two people we know!”

“Two people we know and really don't like, I might add. Which is probably where she got the inspiration. Although I'm not sure how to feel about the idea of a fictional Lex Luthor in drag being my evil stepmother...”

“Mike, would you please focus?! Our daughter's apparently in favour of some kind of... extreme vigilante justice!”

“Again, it's just a story. Besides, if you can fantasise about throwing your sadistic boss into the sun with powers you don't have to blow off steam, I think we can let our daughter imagine obviously evil people getting eaten by giant robot T-Rexes that don't exist.”

“I should've known you'd react like this. Or should I say I should've expected nothing less especially since she probably got this from you?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You! You're such a... a... weirdo sometimes! Like how you insist that orange juice should go well on cereal just because it's normal to have them both in a single breakfast!”

“Yeah, well, you married and had a kid with this weirdo so what does that say about you?”

Abigail paid no attention to the sound of her parents bickering in the living room. After all, she already knew that this fight would end the same way all the others had in the past: They would get all kissy-kissy, lock themselves in their bedroom, make a lot of funny noises and then be really happy for the rest of the day.

Sure enough, the sound of their bedroom door clicking shut followed not long after but by then Abigail was too engrossed drawing the wedding of Princess Ka-rah and Prince Mi-key to notice.

[jurassicparkpodcast]

BRAND NEW Look At Camp Cretaceous Season 3 – Including E750, Classic Jurassic Park and More

Courtesy of the team at Universal Pictures and Dreamworks Animation, we have a brand-new look at the third season of Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous – which is set to debut on Netflix in just under a month, on May the 21st, 2021. 

Join me as I pick out some of my favourite moments from the trailer and share a healthy dose of speculation for the upcoming season!

Right from the start of the trailer, we can get the sense that the children have now been on Isla Nublar for an extended period of time – with Darius’s hair feeling subtly slightly longer than when we left him at the end of the second season. The trailer opens with the gang, now reunited with Ben, attempting to escape from the island on a makeshift raft before a wave and increasing winds ultimately causes them to find themselves stranded in the remnants of Jurassic World once again.

The third season also looks set to explore more of the island than the previous instalment – a criticism I had with the second season. At 00:29 in the season, we can see the kids heading into a building which appears to use some of the old Jurassic Park style of architecture – although I’m not fully convinced that this is the old visitor centre given the flat nature of the building’s exterior. With that said, the design language is incredibly similar here – so this is definitely something from the original 1993 park which gets me very excited.

00:31 also shows us a building with interesting light features – implying that perhaps we are seeing inside the Hotels at long last, or, possibly, maybe John Hammond’s long forgotten Mansion on Isla Nublar. We would not be surprised if elements from other non-canon sources, like Trespasser, are retroactively added to the island in this series. The interesting note here is the dinosaur silhouette – which appears to be an Monolophosaurus judging by the unique crest present. It also looks to be a dino featured in an upcoming toy pack with Kenji.

00:43 addresses another issue I had with Season 2 – showing Doctor Wu talking about the E750 project. This gets me excited as it is clear that this animal is not just another unique addition to the franchise, but rather is a measured addition to the Jurassic canon with a clearly mapped-out explanation as to how it came into existence. I was worried this may not be explained at length in the third season, so seeing the writers committing to fully fleshing out this animal is very exciting.

01:04 highlights the fact that Blue is going to be more of a present threat in this season than the previous seasons – suggesting that she may finally get some more screen time when the Campers get their third outing later in May. It will be interesting to see how Blue continues to adapt to life on her own – and if we get any nods to where she eventually finds herself nesting in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. 

01:13 provides an interesting look at two attractions – the Gondola, and also some kind of Sky-Gliding activity which visitors to Jurassic World can take part in. I wanted to see more of the park fleshed out in the second season, so I am excited to see the team behind the show taking the opportunity to go back and give us even more of the former Jurassic World in this upcoming season. It is also fantastic to see the Dimorphodon back in action here, too.

The trailer ends with what is presumably E750 – with a horrifying look at the animal in brief glimpses. I love the rain and thunder used to amplify the sense of horror and terror in this sequence – not too dis-similar to the ways in which the Indoraptor was introduced in sequences at Lockwood Manor. The roar towards the end also almost had more monster-esque tones to me, reminding me of Godzilla, which gets me even more excited to see how this new animal interacts with the Campers on screen, and the Indoraptor-esque eye tease at the end is more than enough to make me hungry for more.

I have to admit – this trailer has me genuinely pumped for the upcoming season of the show. I was left a little deflated after the end of Season 2, but Season 3 looks set to go in an exciting and refreshing direction – mixing more of what worked for Season 1 with the darker and more horror-driven tones of Fallen Kingdom. The lore elements built into the very fabric of this third season are also intriguing to me – and they make me really excited that we are getting another opportunity to revisit the island and uncover even more of its secrets.

What do you think? Did we miss anything that caught your eye? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below, and stay tuned to The Jurassic Park Podcast for all of the latest Jurassic news!

Written by: Tom Jurassic

[musingsofsaturn]

Opening Up [Kristanna ‘Waitress’ AU] - Chapter One

[Masterlist for this fic]

Fandom: Frozen/Frozen II

Ship: Anna/Kristoff

Side Pairings: Anna/Hans, Elsa/Honeymaren, Bulda/Cliff

Chapters: 10/10 [COMPLETE]

Rating: M

This Chapter’s Rating: T for bad language

This Chapter’s Word Count: 1,700+

Summary: Waitress and baker Anna Westergaard's life changed forever when she discovered some startling news. Dr Kristoff Bjorgman didn't anticipate liking his new patients quite as much as he did. For better or worse, the residents of the small town of Småby Bend were about to be changed forever.

[Photo taken from Jenna’s Pie Palace. This chapter’s recipe is Blueberry Bacon Pie. (Or just blueberry if you’re veggie like me.) Bon appetit!]

Småby Bend was a small town of little significance to everyone apart from its residence. It had a charming market square which hosted a farmers’ market on Wednesday mornings, neat residential streets that were cited as being ‘perfect for raising a family’, and one small train station with a train running twice a day to the nearest city. It seemed like everybody knew everyone else, though nobody was really paying attention to each other. Time moved slower in Småby Bend; it wasn’t the fast-paced town for commuters and rat-racers. It was the steady home of routine mundanity.

Just to the west of the market square, nestled in between a book shop and a pharmacy, sat The Snøffnug Café. It had stood in the same spot for fifty years, and would be there for fifty more. The owner, Cliff, was known for being grouchy and stern – his wife had died twenty years earlier and he hadn’t been the same since. As an ex-army man, Cliff ran a tight ship; the schedules for his staff were specific and he expected punctuality, his stock was always carefully managed, and he valued the reputation the café had for serving the best cup of coffee to the East the North Mountain.

While Cliff didn’t give a wonderful first impression, the people who worked for him understood his ways. The anxious Elsa thrived on routine and organisation anyway, so the sweet-natured woman was in her element at The Snøffnug Café (although her eye did begin to twitch nervously if Cliff started to yell). Bulda was an outgoing and high-spirited woman, a mother hen to her friends and customers, who was quick with a sassy remark to her boss that somehow never overstepped the line. And then there was Anna.

There was the ghost of a confident, bubbly girl in Anna. She was known to many, but very few people could consider themselves her friend. Her exterior was reserved and collected, but those who knew her well recognised the swirling depths of the thoughts she was lost in. Everyone in Småby Bend knew her reputation for being the best baker for miles, and her talent for flavour combinations and perfect techniques drew in daily customers to the café.

In the early afternoon of a cloudy Tuesday, Anna was tucked safely in the kitchen of The Snøffnug Café, kneading some dough as a bubbling pot of blueberries cooked on the stove. Her hands worked feverishly, pressing the dough hard into the workbench, pulling it back in on itself, before pushing it back down with force. Outside of the kitchen, there was the background noise that Anna was well accustomed to; the chatter of customers, the whirring of the coffee grinder, the bell above the door chiming as someone entered or left.

In her peripheral vision, Anna noticed the slight frame of Elsa as she walked in and started to prepare a grilled cheese for one of her customers.

“Ooh, what’s today’s pie, then?” Elsa inquired lightly.

“Blueberry-Bacon,” Anna replied. “I wanted to make something sweet and familiar, with a bit of a surprise hidden in it.”

“Sounds amazing – save me a slice when it’s done!” Anna affirmed that she would, and the two women worked in silence for a few moments. “Anna, what did that pie dough do to you?”

Anna ceased her actions. “What?”

“Well, it- You’re treating it like you saw it kick a puppy.” She offered Anna a gentle smile, and Anna huffed quietly as she turned back to the lump of dough on the workbench. “Did you see it kick a puppy?”

“No,” Anna sighed. “I’m just worried. And angry, and sad, and confused, and-”

She trailed off, and Elsa placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Overwhelmed?” she offered, and Anna nodded. “Anna, listen to me, it’s going to be okay. Whether you are, or you aren’t, we’re here to support you, and you are going to be able to do the best thing for you. This not knowing isn’t helpful though.”

“I know.”

Elsa neatly flipped the grilled cheese in the pan, confirming that it was perfectly golden brown on each side. “Which is why Bulda went to the pharmacy and picked you up a test on her lunch break.”

“Yeah… Wait, what? Elsa, I don’t want-”

“Well, I’d better go serve this up!” Elsa interrupted her friend, picking up the plate and hastily exiting with her customer’s grilled cheese. “See you later, alligator!”

Resigned, Anna almost went back to kneading the dough, before remembering Elsa’s comment and deciding it had had enough. Lost in thought, she carefully stirred the blueberries on the stove, before tasting them and adding a couple of drops of vanilla extract. After giving the pot another quick stir, she tasted again. Perfect.

As she set off a couple of strips of bacon sizzling on a skillet, Anna’s thoughts continued to race. Her hand went to her stomach as she thought she could almost sense the stirrings of life there. No, that was ridiculous. She probably wasn’t pregnant anyway, and even she was, it was far too early to feel it. Shaking off the nonsensical thought, she flipped the bacon and fought to clear her head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she whispered harshly to herself. “I can’t be.”

 ~

 The second Bulda had flipped the sign in the door from ‘Open’ to ‘Closed’, she turned to Anna with an expression that said: ‘I will accept no arguments’.

“Anna,” she grinned reassuringly, “Time to pee on a stick.”

Anna’s protestations were weak and fell on deaf ears as Bulda frogmarched her to the café’s bathroom, closely followed by Elsa. Cliff had left an hour earlier, trusting the three waitresses to close the café.

Bulda dug in her handbag, pulling out a distinctively packaged box, which she thrust into Anna’s hands. “I told Gerda at the pharmacy that if she so much as breathed a word about my purchase today that I would personally see to it that that cat of hers would receive a lovely haircut. I was thinking dinosaur spines up its back. Thoughts?”

“I think you’re cruel,” Anna giggled in spite of herself.

“Eh, Gerda’s a gossip. Gotta keep her quiet one way or another. Now go. Pee.” Bulda’s firm hand shoved Anna into the bathroom, before slamming the door in her face. “Let me know when you’re done – we’ll set an egg timer.”

Anna carried out the test quickly, calling out to the other two to set the timer when she was done. Methodically, she washed her hands, before exiting the bathroom, sliding the test into her pocket so she wouldn’t have to watch it developing. Elsa and Bulda were sat at a table in the middle of the café, with the last remaining slice of Anna’s blueberry-bacon pie in between them. Anna spotted her baking timer, a cute egg design that had been a present from Elsa for her birthday a few years before, on the table as well. Wordlessly, Anna pulled out a chair as Elsa handed her a fork.

“Let’s not worry before we have to, eh?” Elsa smiled. “It was only one time, and it’s never happened for you two before – maybe Hans’ little swimmers don’t work! Wouldn’t that be something?”

“Wouldn’t that be something, indeed,” said Bulda. Anna remained silent. “Anyway, when you said that you were making a blueberry and bacon pie, I thought you were high. But I think it might just be my new favourite, Anna.” She punctuated her statement by popping another forkful of pie into her mouth.

“Thank you,” Anna replied softly. “Both of you, thank you for this.”

“Any time, sweetie.” Bulda reached to stroke Anna’s wrist affectionately.

Elsa grasped Anna’s other hand tightly, echoing the sentiment. “We’re here for you all the way.”

They waited for the remaining time to elapse in silence. When the timer went off, the shrill ring caused all three of them to jump, even though they’d been expecting it.

“One line means ‘no’, two means ‘yes’,” Elsa reminded. Bulda shushed her.

Anna’s hand shook slightly as she reached into her pocket, pulling out the pregnancy test with so much trepidation that it might as well have been a ticking bomb. She felt she could hear her heart pounding in her skull, and she realised she was holding her breath as she looked down at it. She blinked once, twice, making sure she was definitely reading it correctly. One for ‘no’, two for ‘yes’. She hadn’t made a mistake; two dainty pink lines were staring back at her.

Her voice came out as a whisper. “Shit.” Before the other two could even process the information, Anna had jumped to her feet, storming to the bin to fling the treacherous pregnancy test into it. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.”

Bulda and Elsa watched her as she made her way back to them, throwing herself back into her chair and angrily stabbing her fork into the slice of pie.

“Anna-”

“Don’t. Please don’t. You know what? It’s fine. I’m fine. At least now we know.”

The bell above the door rang as it opened, and all three of them turned. Bulda quickly got to her feet. “We’re closed, honey- Oh.”

“Well, what a relief.” Anna swallowed a lump that rose in her throat as her husband walked over to them and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You were late. I was getting worried about you, princess, but here I see you ladies are just eating pie.”

Nervously, Anna glanced at the clock. “Hans, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise the time-”

“It’s fine, princess. I was just thinking you were lying in a ditch somewhere, or off with some other man, but nope! Here you are.” His hands slid off her, and he flashed the other two women a hard smile, which they returned with hesitation. “Come on, I’m hungry, let’s go.”

Anna got to her feet. “See you tomorrow, girls.”

They called out their goodbyes in return. Hans’ hand went to her upper arm, gripping it tightly as he guided her forcefully towards the door. He yanked the door open, and possessively snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him as they exited.

To an outsider, it would have appeared as though Anna’s husband was whispering sweet nothings in her ear, maybe pressing a kiss to her cheek. But a shiver ran through her body as he hissed furiously, “Don’t you ever pull another stunt like that, princess. If you ever keep me waiting more than ten minutes from now on, I will see to it that you never see the inside of that café – or your prissy friends – again.”

Next Chapter

[idontfindyouthatinteresting]

For fic writers, artists, or people who just want to know what on earth is going on with this game, I’ve created some resources, the first of these is the Glossary, there will also be...

Character Profiles / Plot Outline

ALL OF THESE CONTAIN HUGE SPOILERS - THEY ARE THE FACTS AS I KNOW THEM - READING THIS WILL SPOIL THE GAME FOR YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. If there’s anything that’s wrong let me know with a source to the correct answer, but I haven’t written anything I’ve not been sure of, but this is all based on my memory of the game, if there’s terms that should be added, please let me know.

Aphenphosmphobia - The fear of being touched. Sam suffers with this for a long time in the game, even unable to let the woman who raised him from infancy to touch him on her death bed. The only person we see comfortably touch Sam for most of the game is Amelie on her beach in his youth, he even hugs her. Sam will recoil at the idea of being touched  in any way, even over clothes unless he is prepared. Fragile needs to touch his skin to transport him, he seems to prepare himself for this and suffers through it as he needs to be touched. As the story progresses Sam becomes more comfortable being touched, by the end he hug’s Deadman voluntarily.

Beaches - a kind of limbo, the pathway from the world of the living to the world of the dead. Appeared or made accessible after the death stranding. The wave of anti matter that will destroy humanity will come through the beach, specifically Amelie’s beach. Everyone has an individual beach, but as chiral matter increases, the beaches start to combine. Those with more severe DOOMs are able to travel to their beaches and use them to teleport. Time on the beach runs slower than in real life. Heartman is searching the beaches for his wife and child whenever he dies, he has 3 minutes to search before he’s brought back to life. Someone with DOOMs can teleport others, but strong bonds or tailsman’s are needed to go to someone else’s beach. Amelie’s Ka is stuck on her beach, and her beach is considered a ‘super beach’ because she’s an Extinction Entity. Beaches are personal and individual. 

Beached Things - Also known as BT’s - BT’s come in multiple forms, there are humanoid forms, floating fuzzy people, foetal forms, floating fuzzy babies and monster BT’s, like an enormous squid, lion, or whale. They’re characterized by tar coverings/pools and are souls which have become stranded in the ‘real’ world. These souls have umbilical cords to the other side. They are sensitive to movement and sound, so staying still, not talking, crouching and therefore moving slowly, or in extremis, not breathing will help you to sneak past them without them knowing. Touching them unless you can defend yourself will mean being dragged into the tar. Mama weaves Sam’s blood into an alloy and integrates it into his cufflinks and he can use that to cut the umbilical cords of BT’s and send them back to the world of the dead where they belong, for this they give Sam ‘likes’ as a thank you, grateful to be sent back.

Bridges - Porter company, heavily integrated with the idea of connecting America together and therefore becoming the UCA, but there are some locations which can have connection with Bridges (or Fragile Express) but not want to part of the UCA. Bridges 1 was an expedition lead by Amelie to create the network, ending at Edge Knot City.

Bridge Babies - Also known as BB’s - They’re 28 week old foetus’ taken from their mothers womb, their ‘still mother’ and put into pods, these pods stop them growing and are designed to be artificial wombs for them to live inside. These BB’s have connections to both the ‘real’ world and the world of the dead, because they’re classed as never having been alive. Because of this property, they’re able to detect matter from the other side, and therefore detect BT’s. The UCA experimented with BB’s, but the project was discontinued because of ethical concerns, the project was continued the secret. BB’s are therefore used with an Odradek by people working outside of the safety of the cities to help them negotiate their way through BT territory. BB’s are said to only be useful for 1 year and then they’re deactivated and their bodies burnt so they don’t necrotize. The UCA (Bridget/Amelie) also used the BB’s as the basis for the chiral network in each of the knot cities, so there is a BB in each of the cities as the base code to keep the network online, Sam has to deliver Edge Knot Cities BB to bring the city online. BB’s maintain their connection with the dead by being placed in the incubator in a private room, and therefore being linked to their still mother, this is the ‘percentage’ score that presents on the incubator. At a point during the story, Sam’s BB begins to be more in the world of the living than the dead because of their connection with Sam being so strong, this causes an issue with the BB’s effectiveness.

Chiralgrams - holograms of people, projected either into the terminals of cities and waystations or into rooms to have conversations. People can appear to be places they aren’t, or to keep them safe from the outside world. If not on the Chiral network, the producer of the Chiralgram will be fuzzy, when on the Chiral Network the image gets clearer.

Chiralium - A dangerous element which comes to the ‘real’ world through the beach, it’s toxic to humans, and over exposure can cause depression and suicidal thoughts in humans, however it’s also used in Chiral printers to allow humans to produce things like bridges and roads quickly. Increases in Chiralium in the atmosphere are caused by heavy rain (Timefall) and can increase BT activity. The Death Stranding is characterized by Chiralium coming through into the ‘real’ world. Chiralium can become a physical item through Chiral crystals which grow from the ground when BT’s are destroyed. Sam collects Chiral crystals in a pod given to him by Heartman.

Chiral Network - Sam’s main task in the game is to bring as many terminals (cities, waystations, individual citizens) onto the Chiral Network using the Q-pid, this network is possible because of the Chiralium which comes from the beach. It allows the seamless transfer of information, designs and plans, it brings medical equipment online. There is a lot of reasons why many stations want to be on the chiral network, but some of the preppers are cautious about signing up and have to be persuaded.

Cufflinks - Worn by Bridges operatives, it serves many purposes, helps you keep a track of your cargo, contains maps and mail, and acts as a tracker and allows access to terminals, it also monitors the wearers vitals. It’s a blue when the wearer is ok, yellow when there’s health instability and red at critical. Cufflinks are placed onto Sam against his will when he’s brought into bridges and he can’t take them off himself. When asleep, one half of the cufflinks disconnect from the wrist, and he has to put it back on when he wakes up, the other side is permanently locked onto him and you can see where it rubs his skin red raw. Mama turns Sam’s cufflinks into an anti-BT weapon as detailed above. Deadman deactivates Sam’s cufflinks before he leaves to take Lou’s body to the incinerator at the end of the game, this gives Sam the option to remove them and burn them if he wants. Sam does this, terminating his Bridges employment at the same time.

D.O.O.M’s - Brought into the world through Amelie as she brings back an infant Sam from the dead after Sam and Cliff are killed in the hospital. DOOMs has various levels, from low level abilities, for example Sam who can sense the presence of BT’s to Fragile, who can teleport to beaches and therefore through the real world to Higgs, who has control over timefall and can summon huge BT’s. Heartman also has DOOMs but I cannot recall the level he has, but I do not believe it’s very high as he only has ‘artists impressions’ of what BT’s look like in his home. People with DOOMs have allergies to Chiralium, and therefore they cry when exposed to too much. The level of DOOMs is dependent on your birthday, with those born in January (Gigas,) mid February to mid March (Pisces,) mid June to mid July (Cancer,) September (Delphinus,) and November (Cetus) most effected.

Extinction Entity - Also known as ‘EE’ - Throughout the game as you bring scientists into the Chiral Network research is uncovered about completely well preserved dinosaurs and invertebrates with umbilical cords, because of the layers of rock, and tar present in the rock, the scientists lead by Heartman begin to believe that there have been previous Death Strandings. These well preseved beings with umbilical cords are said to be ‘Extinction Entities’ signs of the coming extinction and then causes of it. Bridget Strand (the UCA president who passes as the beginning of the game) is found to have an umbilical cord, hidden from the records and passed to Heartman in an delivery by Sam. On this discovery they believe that Amelie is also an extinction entity. Amelie is aware of her fate as an EE as she will cause the extinction and takes a decision to make it happen quickly. She is therefore able to grant Higgs his powers and use him to hasten the end of the world. She is convinced by Sam that humanity is worth giving time, to see if they can evolve quick enough to avoid destruction. The Extinction Entity has a beach which is superior to the rest of humanity, and the antimatter which will end the world comes through to the ‘real’ world through the EE’s beach. Amelie is powerful enough to hold it back if she stays on the beach, but not indefinitely. After discovering that Bridget and Amelie are actually the same person, it’s unclear about whether there are more than 1 extinction entities for the doomed generation.

Fragile Express - A private porter firm, they are the only firm with ships left. Run by ‘Fragile’ the daughter of the man who created the company. Fragile is different from Bridges but they’re doing similar things. People are divided on whether they love or hate Fragile Express, in the vicinity of Lake Knot City, there are some that rely on FE and will only work with Sam if he wears a FE ID (a bracelet called ‘Michanga.’) There are some that hate FE because they believe they’re terrorists and deliberately delivered a nuclear bomb to Middle Knot City, destroying the city, but in actuality FE were tricked by Higgs into bringing the bomb into the city. Higgs attempts to do this again in the story, getting Sam to take a nuclear device to Fragile, luckily Sam manages to throw the bomb into the tar and stop it exploding. After Sam stops Amelie ending the world immediately, Fragile Express is brought on as the first officially sanctioned private porter firm.

‘Going Necro’ - When people die, no matter the cause of death, you have 24 hours before the body will ‘go necro’ the corpse explodes with tar and a BT is born, this is then a huge risk to the cause of voidouts. For this reason, all bodies in Death Stranding are burned as soon as possible, there is a service called ‘corpse disposal’ (orange jumpsuits) who are in charge of taking corpses to the incinerators. There is a huge emphasis on not killing people, lots of the weapons are to stun, (stun bombs which are grenades which knock people out, bola guns which fire strings which tie people up) and many of the guns are described as ‘non-lethal’ or are lethal to BT’s only. As a repatriate, if Sam can find his body, he won’t go necro.

Ha - the name given to your body. Your Ha becomes a BT when someone ‘goes necro.’ Amelie is split at age 20 between her Ha and Ka, her Ha remains in the ‘real’ world and ages naturally, as she ages, she becomes ‘Bridget.’

Ka - the name given to your soul, this part remains once your body is gone, your Ka goes to the beach and then through to the other side. Amelie is spilt at age 20 between her Ha and Ka, Amelie’s Ka stays the same age and lives on the Beach but can project herself into the ‘real’ world.

MULES - Groups who live outside the cities and have an obsessive need (supposedly caused by chiral contamination) to steal and hoard cargo. They have scanners which can detect Bridges and Fragile ID’s on cargo and enables the MULEs to chase down and steal the cargo. There are instances were Sam needs to go and recover items which have been stolen by MULEs. You can clear MULE camps, but shouldn’t kill them, so therefore non-lethal methods, stun bombs, fist fights, bola guns, should be used on them.

Odradek - Initially designed to be a cargo and terrain scanner. It’s fitted to people’s shoulders and helps direct them provides light, and when hooked up to a BB, can indicate the location of BT’s by flapping in the direction of the closest BT. They also seem to express the BB’s emotions, giving BT’s a wave goodbye when they die and giving you a thumbs up if you’re clear of BT’s. They express a white light most of the time, but if danger is close, they become orange. When Higgs gets too close to Sam the Odradek is pointed towards him, demonstrating his BT connected nature, but is trembling in fear at his power. When Higgs tries to shoot Sam, BB uses the Odradek to protect him from the bullets by spinning the Odradek fast to catch the bullets.

Porters - After the Death Stranding, most humans are locked into cities/way-stations and only interact with the outside world through chiralgrams, once connected to the network, equipment and things can be printed using designs and materials, however the transfer of these materials is not possible to do through the chiral network, therefore porters have to bring items like metals, ceramics, alloys, blood, cryptobiotes, medicines to the stations to help people survive. Porters are therefore very important, and without them the human race wouldn’t be able to survive. Sam is a porter and porters wear blue. There are other porters in the game, travelling in small groups of 2 or 3, you can protect them and forge paths for them to travel and you can gift them weapons to keep them safe.

Q-pid - Sam’s necklace, it has hardware and software built and created by Mama and Lockne respectively, this necklace brings terminals at waystations, and knots onto the Chiral Network, linking them up together. This is Sam’s principal goal moving across America. The Q-pid has a Chiral limiter built in, in Sam’s first Q-pid, this fails, causing spikes and therefore extra BT activity, so Mama and Lockne have to replace and fix the Q-pid in the middle of Sam’s journey to restore the balance and mean that Sam can continue to bring terminals onto the network.

Repatriate - Repatriates are people that can direct their Ka back to their Ha when they die and almost come back to life. This means repatriates can avoid death, and survive voidouts. Sam is the only repatriate that you come across in the game, and this is because when he’s shot in his infancy (when Cliff attempts to escape from the hospital with him) and he dies, Amelie sends him back to the world from the beach. Repatriate body fluid (Blood, urine, skin cells from shower water, and excrement) is toxic to BT’s, and therefore you can use these to make weapons. Sam donates his own blood every time he sleeps so weapons can be made. His body fluids are collected at every point to make weapons.

Still Mother - Every BB has a ‘brain dead’ mother which is kept alive to keep the BB’s connected to both worlds. Lisa Bridges, Clifford Unger’s wife and Sam Porter Bridge’s mother is a Still Mother, but is killed by Clifford as a mercy. BB’s have to have a connection to their still mothers maintained to continue to be useful.

Supercell -  A storm which causes/is caused by (it’s unclear) a sharp increase in Chiralium density in the air. These storms steal Sam (and in one instance Deadman) and bring him into war zones where he meets Clifford Unger, time in the ‘real’ world stays still whilst Sam is in the supercell. Multiple supercells occur taking Sam to different war zones. Once Cliff is defeated in the supercell Sam can return to the ‘real’ world.

Terrorists - Also known as ‘Separatists’ - There are supposedly different factions, violent groups who are rejecting the idea of the United Cities of America coming together and are rejecting the chiral network. Beyond ideology for a long time the reasons why this is are unclear. The main group you interact with are run by Higgs, who caused the destruction of a city by sending an armed nuclear weapon into it. In the end, Higgs is found to be controlled by Amelie, and therefore the purpose of the terrorists have been to hasten the extinction of mankind for her purposes. Like the MULEs terrorists have scanners, but rather than looking for cargo they search for people.

Timefall - Rain, which after the Death Stranding accelerates the passage of time of anything it touches. Therefore the suits of people who work outside the cities (cargo/corpse disposal) have very sensitive automatic hoods on, the moment rain occurs the hoods release. Timefall causes plants to grow age and die before your eyes in the game. It will physically age your skin if it touches you, Higgs tortures Fragile by making her walk in timefall in her underwear, and this ages her skin. Timefall damages the cargo you carry, making it rust at an accelerated rate so if you’re in timefall for a prolonged period of time it’s best to seek shelter, you can hide in a cave or build ‘timefall shelters.’ Timefall can be an indication that BT’s may be present but does not guarantee it, the heavier the timefall the more BT’s are likely.

United Cities of America - Also known as the UCA - Built by Bridges, a project to try and bring the USA back together again post the Death Stranding. This is involved by connecting cities and stations up to the Chiral Network. Captial Knot City is the easterly most city, with Edge Knot City being the Westerly most. In between (east to west) you have Port Knot City, Lake Knot City, Middle Knot City (destroyed by Terrorist bombing) South Knot City (Terrorists attempted to destroy it but Fragile stopped them,) Mountain Knot City.

Voidout - The crater left behind if BT’s get a hold of a living person, the mixture of the BT’s antimatter hitting living matter creates an explosion. This happened in Manhattan and wiped the city out. Sam is a repatriate, so if a he dies in a voidout he can find his body again and survive.

[letsgetsinfulbaby]

Could we talk about the body types in AD for a moment? Despite the characters being based off of different shapes (like diamonds, stars, squares, etc), theres not really any diversity to them and sometimes the body types don't make any sense at all. With Wrathia as an example, for someone who represents wrath and is a literal alien demon goddess of fire and war you would think she would have more scars from previous battles or be more muscular but no. She just looks like a skinny chick. 1/2

Or with Gil whose supposed to be this religious cult member who tries to act nice or help people that he would be more slim/lean but NOPE! He’s just a hunk like Odin despite him being isolated on a planet b/c of TITAN for all those years for his training as a doctor! Maybe with Nevy element is related to water that she would have more of a pear body type (since pear-shapes are the closest things to tear-drops) but no she has the same body type as with everyone else. Sorry for the rant 2/2

it can be kind of hard to talk about this as three of the hosts are minor so I’m more or less going to skip over them. 

Wrathia with her unique biology we have literally no clue as to things such as to how cuts and bruises affect her or how they may show up on her. On her reference sheet and in earlier panels of when she was alive it showed her to be of an average build with a small chest, but recently and even when Nevy had a flashback with Wrathia’s previous husband she had a much larger chest then previous. It’s valid in Ava’s mind but not in flashbacks to when she was alive, also I think Michelle once stated that between Wrathia and Pedri that wrathia was the strategos which would explain the slim build. Her face was always that angular triangle shape but she had virtually no nose which I liked and really fit in with the “evolved from dinosaurs” trivia. But throughout the comic, she slowly developed a nose which once again makes all the female characters look the same.

I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH NEVY. I feel as though nevy is meant to come off as soft and id even go as far as to say motherly. In her reference sheet, her face is slightly round almost an in-between face of Avas and Maggie with her round cheeks and pointy chin. With the Nevy centered chapter and her recent reappearance, her face has begun to look the same as Avas and Maggies but in the negative same face syndrome sense. Her nose is still pretty round and she has the plump lips so it’s not as bad as the others.

I don’t have much to say on Tuls or Pedri other then maybe Pedri should be a little bit more buff just cause. Gil I feel has been made to look much older than the other three hosts like to the point where he looks like he’s in his early to mid-20s even though he’s only 19. 

I don’t have much to say on Pedri or Tuls, but I will say that the fact that Odin has stated in a vague way that he knows what starving feels like so I think his clothes should hang off of him more. unless he has been at the TITAN reeducation planet long enough to eat and fill out he should still be pretty much skin and bones.

[yeonchi]

Obscure Gems - Kingdom of Paradise

Aside from Dynasty Warriors, there was another game that influenced my childhood years. Americans may know it as Kingdom of Paradise, Europeans may know it as Key of Heaven, and Asians may know it as Tenchi no Mon (天地の門/天地之門).

This is a pretty old game as it was originally released in July 2005 with a sequel being released in October 2006. While the first game received a localisation, the second one, sadly, did not. As a result, while I have played both games, I have a better understanding of the first one than the second (despite me being able to extract the game’s texts from within the ISO, don’t ask how I managed to do it).

I remember when my family bought a PSP and my uncle had it downgraded (upgrading would have been better if you look at it from a present-day perspective) so we could play games from the Memory Stick. This, along with the first Dynasty Warriors PSP game, Lumines and Ape Escape On The Loose, were some of the first games that we got thanks to my uncle. I remember my dad was so obsessed with this game (and Lumines, besides not letting me play on it because school) that he would end up hogging it because he had to defeat the bosses, which were, in his eyes, hard to defeat. I did make another save for myself and after initially giving up when my first boss was too hard to fight, I eventually managed to clear the game altogether. Looking at gameplay videos of it now, I noticed that fighting the bosses was easier than I had thought, or maybe it’s because they got gud.

About the developers

This game was created by Climax Entertainment, who were also famous for the Runabout series, Steal Princess, Dinosaur King and Element Hunters. Sorry, who were those guys again? Oh wait, they’re a bunch of nobodies in today’s words.

Climax Entertainment was founded in April 1990, developing games for Sega consoles. In 1994, some members split and joined with former members of Telenet Japan to form Matrix Software, known for joining with other companies to create games, such as Square Enix for the Final Fantasy series.

Sadly, Climax Entertainment never grew significantly and they eventually fell off the grid by 2015. Apparently, by following an archived page from a source on their Wikipedia page, it was because the company went bankrupt. Oh well, let’s move on.

The game itself

The game is set on a fictitious feudal Chinese-inspired continent named Ouka, which is split into five territories ruled by each of the five clans, namely the Eastern Seiryu, Northern Genbu, Western Byakko, Southern Suzaku and Central Kirin. The main character is Shinbu, a former Seiryu disciple and aspiring swordsmaster who was expelled from his clan after learning their Chi Arts before his master thought he was ready. When Sui Lin, another Seiryu disciple, manages to escape from their temple after it was (apparently) ransacked by the Central Kirin, she encounters Shinbu and tells him that his master was killed and that they need to rebuild their clan. Upon hearing of this, Shinbu’s adoptive father, Seidatsu, gives him the Ginmei Sword, which originally belonged to his father, and the first piece of the San’yuan that he was obsessed with reviving. From there, he sets off on an adventure around Ouka and discovers secrets about the clans and his family.

As you journey around Ouka, you can fight enemies and monsters along the way. Using the Ginmei Sword, you can unleash various types of bugei, made by equipping kenpu into bugei scrolls, or create your own bugei with the freestyle scrolls you can collect. Additionally, you can use the Chi Arts and unleash attacks that can clear enemies in one hit (you’ll have to spam it sooner or later). Enemies have a stronger or weaker resistance to a certain clan’s kenpu or Chi Arts based on the five Wuxing phases. While you can overcome enemies that way, you can also chain kenpu together in a generating cycle to deal more damage. You can learn all five clans’ Chi Arts as you play the game, though the caveat is that you learn the final one just before you fight the final boss, so the time you spend mastering it before you fight the final boss just seems very protracted, particularly if you’re at the maximum level by that point.

The background context of the game’s story arcs revolves around the Seima-Ouka Great War, which occurred 300 years prior to the start of the game. Invaders from the neighbouring continent of Seima came to Ouka and waged war with the five clans, but they were defeated. While there were some that managed to escape with the army, some of Seimans surrendered and remained on Ouka, where they suffered discrimination following the war. Their currency, the taichi, was widely used there as a result. The San’yuan had been burned during the war because the Seima feared its power.

Looking at the English and Chinese scripts, I could spot some differences between them and personally, I prefer the Chinese script better as it is closer to the original Japanese script. Alone, both scripts are good, but after having seen both versions, some parts of the English script doesn’t make sense in review.

Some of the mysteries of the game are basically explained in one line without deeper context. Certain characters aren’t as prominent as you may think they are. In the end, after you defeat the final boss, you get an opportunity to play the game again with the True San’yuan bugei, harder enemies and a carryover of the Chi Arts you learnt. There was a rumour on 2ch about another bugei you could get after clearing the game five times, but that, of course, is fake news.

About the sequel

The sequel takes place 25 years after the events of the first game and is set on the continent of Seima, the instigator of the Great War. Its capital is named Seimabolm and is split into three districts based on caste. Translating the names in the game is going to be an absolute nightmare because it was never localised to the West, but I’ll do whatever I can. If you want to see gameplays of this game, you’ll have to find them on Nico Nico Douga or Bilibili (for the Chinese version).

The main character is Liju Roh, a glorified military officer who went missing for a year when he was 5 years old and came back with no memory of what happened during that year. At the start of the game, he was accused of attempting to assassinate their empress and sentenced to execution by Gikyo Altai alongside another female, Maltamil Chiena. Suddenly, Altai’s sister, Shunka, jumps down to defend Roh and they manage to escape to the third district along with Chiena. As a result, they are forced to work as mercenaries in Chiena’s agency in order to hide from the imperial troops. Roh’s mission is to fulfil his late father’s request to stop Ejen Zern, a man who Roh saw as a brother, from performing the Great Judgement a second time; the first time it happened, a big fireball hit Seima and halved the population, cutting the island into the shape of a crescent moon and creating the Banko Sea.

In this game, you can have a companion travelling with you (usually Shunka for most of the game). As Roh, you can use three weapons, a sword, a spear, or gauntlets, and set kenpu and bugei accordingly. Some kenpu are performed slowly while others are performed quickly, which can cause gaps in your fighting. Other companions you travel with can use only one of those weapons, while Shunka fights with spirit discs and spirit dancing. Yes, spirit dancing, and that’s a plot point in the game. I find the dancing movesets ineffective when fighting enemies, but there are missions where you will need to use Shunka to perform a dance.

Unlike the first game where the story advances as you travel, the story in this game advances after you complete a number of missions from the agency. These include defeating enemies and monsters, buying or collecting things or even writing messages on noticeboards. Some missions are a pain to complete, such as with the collecting missions where you need to harvest a certain part from a machine or animal and they don’t instantly drop it upon defeat. As a result, it would take you forever to collect the amount required so you can complete the mission. There are also small flying drones that you can fight in underground tunnels and they are a bit hard to fight if your kenpu doesn’t make you swing your sword or spear up or down.

The travelling companions in the game (including the ones that appear after you’ve cleared the game) have significant relevance to the story, except for a drunkard monk named Sutta Monda who becomes your companion after you complete a mission that involves fighting him outside the agency for being drunk.

After you clear the game, you can just do missions ad infinitum, whereas in the previous game, you could play the game again and again. At least replaying old storylines or sparring with your companions could have been additional options.

If you haven’t noticed this by now, Shinbu or anyone else in the first game is not featured, though there are homages scattered in the script. One particular homage is that Seima is apparently planning a second invasion of Ouka, but Roh believes that stopping the Great Judgement is more important than stopping the former.

Summary

For its time, Kingdom of Paradise is an amazing game, whether it be the battle mechanics, the graphics or the story, though for the story, I prefer the first one better because I can understand it better after much analysis (which was also helped by that game being localised). While the second game does have its good points, it’s a bit more complicated than the first game and the missions can seem a bit of a drag to do.

Some people would probably say that the two games have potential to be expanded upon and I would say that I agree, though instead of expanding the games’ universe, I adapted it into my universe for my personal project. I adapted the first game into two 15-episode arcs, then after struggling to decide whether or not to do it, adapted some parts of the second game into a two-parter. I’ll elaborate on my adaptation at a later date.

Sadly though, Climax Entertainment is dead and the games never left much of a legacy to be admired. The only way its legacy can stay alive is within the hearts of the people who played those games, particularly the people who were inspired by it.

[chojin-cu-chulain]

Power Rangers Dino summary

Caution this contains spoilers Synopsis: 10,000,000 years ago a powerful, and evil sorceress known as Rita Repulsa sought to destroy the Earth, and it's inhabitants with her army of evil magical creatures. But a kind, and wise wizard known as Zordon recruited the bravest, and most powerful knights of the dinosaur worshiping tribes of Atlantis, and made them his newest team of Power Rangers intergalactic knights who used magic, and technology to fight evil. Zordon's Rangers were able to defeat Rita, and her minions, and seal them away into dumpster like space prison but it was too late. The Rangers had given their lives to defeat Rita, Zordon had been banished to another dimension forever, and Rita had succeeded in destroying the dinosaurs, mystical creatures, and Atlantis. Now in modern times two NASADA astronauts accidentally release Rita, and her minions from their prison causing them to restart their mad crusade to conquer, and destroy Earth. Zordon, and his multifunctional automaton companion Alpha seek out the descendants of their previous team of Rangers, and find them in the form of five seemingly ordinary teenagers named Jason, Zack, Billy, Trini, and Kimberly. Initially reluctant the five friends take up the mantle of their ancestors to protect their town of Angel Grove, and the world from Rita's evil monsters but will their greatest challenge come from one of their own or will he be the key to fulfilling Zordon's prophecy of putting an end to Rita's evil ways. Rangers: Jason Scott Ranger form: Red Tyranno Ranger Weapon: Power Sword, later Dragon Dagger Zord: Tyrannosaurs Age: 16 Bio: A skilled martial artist, and a star athlete Jason greatest strength isn't just his physical strength but his courage, and his determination to never give up even if all hope seems lost. He is the leader of the team, and does his best to lead his team to victory against Rita's minions. Zack Taylor Ranger form: Black Mastodon Ranger Weapon: Power Axe Zord: Mastodon Age: 16 Bio: Zack is the resident cool kid of the team he is interested in music, and dance, and is a master of hip hop kido. He is freaked out by reptiles, and bugs, and has a crush on a girl named Angela. He is also initially skeptical of all the situations involving aliens, and mystical beings but ultimately his desire to do what's right wins out. Billy Cranston Ranger form: Blue Tricera Ranger Weapon: Power Lance Zord: Triceratops Age 16 Bio: Billy is the smartest member of the team. When he first meets Zordon, and Alpha he is fascinated by their advanced alien technology, and seeks to learn all he can about it. He is also busy making new inventions for the team. He is initially socially awkward and shy but eventually finds a girlfriend name Margret. Trini Kwan Ranger form: Yellow Sabertooth Tiger Ranger Weapon: Power Daggers Zord: Saberthooth Tiger Age: 16 Bio: Like Jason she is a skilled martial artist, and is intelligent like Billy because she follows her families tradition of finding balance between the mind, and body. she loves nature, and the environment. Her biggest concern is proving herself to her uncle Tao. Kimberly Hart Ranger form: Pink Ptero Ranger Weapon: Power Bow Zord: Pterodactyl Age: 16 Bio: Kimberly is the most popular girl in school, and a champion gymnast. She comes from a wealthy family but doesn't let it go to her head. she also loves fashion, and other feminine pursuits. She later dates Tommy. Tommy Oliver Ranger form: Green Dragon Ranger Weapon: Dragon Dagger Zord: Dragonzord Age: 17 Bio: An old friend of the Rangers due to being friends with Jason's cousin Kailtin, and living with Trini's uncle Tao Tommy moves to Angel Grove following an inter city martial arts tournament. Like Jason, and Trini he is a skilled martial artist. When he finds out he is destined to be the Green Ranger from Nemo he jumps at the chance unaware that it puts him under Rita's control. Once freed he uses his new powers to help his friends protect the Earth. He later starts dating Kimberly. Allies: Zordon of Eltar Age: 30,000,000(60 in Eltarian) Bio: A kind, and wise wizard from the planet Eltar he founded an ancient order of intergalactic knights called the Power Rangers who used magic, and technology to protect the universe from evil, and came to Earth long ago to recruit it's bravest warriors to be his new team of Rangers. He was banished to a time warp by Rita 10,000,000 years ago but was quickly found by Alpha. He gives the new Rangers advice on how to stop Rita's plans, and explains what happened millions of years ago but keeps some secrets from the Rangers that eventually come to light. Alpha 5 Age: 10,000,000(acts 12) Bio: Zordon's multifunctional robotic companion Alpha helps run the Command Center for Zordon while he's trapped in the time warp. When he meets the new Rangers he becomes interested in aspects of modern Earth life from Billy, and Zack. Sometimes his misunderstanding of modern Earth customs gets him into ridiculous situations. Quagmire Age:30,000,000(looks 30) Bio: An elf the Rangers first meet when trying to find the power weapons he initially mistakes them for Rita's minions but later helps them such as when Tommy was under Rita's control or when Mutitis almost destroyed the Zords. He speaks in rhymes, and has a son named Nemo, and a wife named Millenia. Nemo Age: 10,000,000(looks 10) Bio: Quagmire's son who was the keeper of the Green Dragon coin who sought to give it to Tommy unaware it would put him under Rita's control. He then tries to help his father, and the Rangers at various points. Millenia Age:30,000,000(looks 30) Bio: Quagmire's wife a good sorceress who was lost on the Island of Illusion 10,000,000 years ago trying to keep Titanus the carrierzord out of Rita's hands. Because she has been trapped on the Island of Illusion for so long the only way to free her is if one of the Rangers sacrifices their powers. She helps the Rangers find Titanus, and later tries to help the Rangers save Tommy's powers. Villains Rita Repulsa Age: 10,000,000(looks 50) Bio: An evil and powerful sorceress who destroyed the dinosaurs, Atlants, and mystical beings millions of years ago with her army of evil mystical creatures. She constantly lashes out at her minions when they botch her plans, and has a sadistic sense of humor. She particularly hates children, and will go out of her way to target them. Goldar Age: Unknown Bio: Rita's second and command, and her most powerful minion Goldar an armored griffon loves combat, and would like nothing more to crush the rangers. He also has a wife named Scorpina who returns around the time Tommy is under Rita's control Finster Age: Unknown Bio: Rita's monster maker. Considering himself the greatest artist in the universe he enjoys creating Rita's monsters from putty, and later super putty. Not as vicious and angry as Goldar or Rita but more intelligent than Squat, and Baboo. Squat, and Babboo Ages: Unknown Bio: Rita's two bumbling henchmen she has them go to Earth to carry out plans to ensure the Rangers can't defeat her monsters but often end up getting themselves in trouble, and taking the brunt of Rita's anger. Scorpina Age: Unknown Bio: Goldar's wife, and the only one of her minions who wasn't trapped in the space prison 10,000,000 years ago she later returns when Tommy is under Rita's control. Like Goldar she is one of Rita's most powerful minions, and can easily challenge the Rangers. Lord Zedd Age:10,000,000(looks 50) Bio: Once the most bravest, and powerful of Zordon's Rangers Lord Zedd was the previous Green Dragon Ranger until he turned evil, and joined Rita. He was thought destroyed but fled into the dark galaxies where he amassed so much dark magic he became a being made of dark magic himself he can enhance Rita's monster making them more powerful than ever. Thrax Age: 10,000,000(looks 10) Bio: Rita, and Zedd's son he was mischievous, and would like to break dinosaur eggs for fun which caused him to be killed by one. This drove his parents to turn evil when Zordon refused to bring him back to life. He is resurrected by his father, and pilots Cyclopsis a failed experiment by Zordon to create a zord built entirely for combat. Changes: More Zyuranger elements are added For instance Rita destroyed the dinosaurs, magical beings, and an ancient civilization when she last attacked Earth. Monsters that were good or at least neutral in Zyuranger like the Genie, and Fang are good or at least neutral here. Goldar, and Scorpina are husband, and wife Lord Zedd, and Lokar are merged into one character because Lokar's Zyuranger counterpart was the master Rita's counterpart like Zedd was Rita's master, and because I wanted to give Zedd a human looking form so he could be later Sentai villains. Rita has Bandora's backstory, and Kai is adapted as Thrax. It is revealed that Lord Zedd was the Green Ranger before Tommy Quagmire is more of a recurring ally because he reminded me of Gnome from Zyuranger The Rangers are descendants of Zordon's previous Rangers because I wanted to incorporate the idea from Sentai where the Rangers are sometimes descendants of a previous civilization Clotho is adapted as Quagmire's wife I have a character named Nemo who is original to Power Rangers but is similar to Prince Euro, and Ryuto from Zyuranger. Certain episodes are either moved around have their footage changed or are removed. For instance Day of the Dumpster has High Five's Zyuranger footage, and Ranger plot, High Five has Teamwork's Zyuranger footage, and Ranger plot, and Teamwork is removed altogether There is an original episode so that Babe Ruthless can have his own episode, and A Star is Born can have just Weaveworm. Island of Illusion is merged with Gung Ho so that it can have Island of Illusion's Ranger plot, and Gung Ho's civilian plot, and both Gung Ho, and Island of Illusion's Zyuranger footage There is a two parter to adapt Zyuranger's dinosaur eggs storyline Doomsday, and Return of An Old Friend are merged so that it can have both Doomsday, and Return of an Old Friend's Ranger plots, and civilian plots with just Doomsday's Zyuranger footage. 

[auroraphilealis]

just a small list of fic recs

Earlier this morning my friends asked for some fake dating phan AU fics and I realized that making a fic rec list might be a good way to show some appreciation for fanfic author appreciation day!

I don’t have all day free like I wish, so I asked my friends for a few smaller catagories that I could shift through and find a few fics to rec from, that way I can get a good mix of fics for people to enjoy, and find as many authors as possible to thank! 

Of course, I can’t possibly have read every fic out there ever, so if you aren’t on here that’s no like, disrespect to you or anything. Every single person whose ever written and posted a fanfic deserves to be recognized and loved for what they’ve produce for us, so just know that I appreciate every single one of you, on or off this list!

To add to this, I tired to pick some older, or smaller works that people may have not seen before to give the authors a little lift if possible :)

Without further ado, below you’ll find some fic recs and author appreciation below !

Fake Relationship:

Our Threadbare Lies - @ramonaspeaks -  Dan is eighteen years old and newly single. He's ready to come out to his family but he thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if he had a boyfriend to help him through it.

This is like one of my all time favorite fake relationship fics of all time. Honestly it was so well done and really realistic and the writing is just superb. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve re-read this fic, (as well as most of the authors other works) because it was just so well done, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to the author for all the hard work they put into it! On top of that, it holds really, really close to 2009 timeline (as we know it) and manages to make things work that might not have worked in their AU if they weren’t so smart about it

Maybe, Possibly - @cafephan -  Phil’s mother is adamant that he should be settling down, so invites one of his turbulent exes to an annual family get-together the following day. In a moment of panic, he tells her he’s already dating someone. With no other options, he turns to Dan.

aldjflkas I fucking love this fic so freaking much. I’ve read it like ten million times. Everytime it shows up on my dash I open it to read it again. It’s just really funny and sweet in a strange way, and captures an essence of dnp that I really enjoy. I like how easy it is for dnp to pretend to be together in this fic, and how easy it is for them to then transition to ACTUALLY being together. It’s the perfect kind of non-dramatic get together fake relationship AU ever and I really, really do love it. Again, massive thank you to the author!

friends dont treat me like you do - @internetakeover (i think i got your @ right) -  Why had Dan agreed to this? Pretending to be Phil’s boyfriend at his ex’s wedding had seemed like a nice idea at first, a way to meet some of Phil’s old university friends while helping him avoid humiliation, but already Dan’s on edge. If Dan allows himself to relax for a day, lets himself watch Phil as much as he wants, touch Phil as much as he wants, carry on their flirtatious banter when normally he’d laugh it off... he’s worried about what Phil might see.

I ended up re-reading this after I stumbled across it again just now hahaha I really love this fic. It’s super cute and a little sappy cause WEDDING FIC but that’s what makes it so worth the read. I love that both Dan and Phil realize how easy their relationship is, and the fact that they’ve technically been dating for a long time and that they love each other. I love that they realize this the way that they do, and it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so thank you so much to the author <3

Asexuality

Between Us - @winteredspark who doesnt appear to have a tumblr :( - "I think I'm asexual," Dan breathes against the crook of Phil's neck, blinking back tears.There's a pause, then -"Nice to meet you, asexual. I'm Phil," says Phil.

This is the asexual fic that helped me to realize that I’m asexual and that asexuality is a spectrum that isn’t limited to one version or another. I remember leaving a really long thoughtout comment to the author but I can’t not rec it here as well. It’s just such an amazing asexuality fic and it’s a little bit of a different take not it considering the character exists on a different part of the spectrum than most ace fics portray. I will always be grateful to this author for this fic!

let’s save up for something new - @deletablebird -  Phil wakes up shivering the morning of October 19th, 2009. Today is the day he meets Dan. Fluff, 3.5k

I love this author with my whole heart and I’ve read everything they’ve written lol. This is just a really, really cute and lovely take on 2009 with the asexual aspect included and it really made my heart happy, so thank you so so much for this fic!

Theater

Disguises - @ramonaspeaks -  Phil auditions for a play at a local theater and meets Dan, who spends most of his time acting whether he’s on stage or off.

Again, another fic from one of my favorite authors of all time. This is like my actual favorite theater au of all time. I am completely in love with the whole thing. It feels so real, and their characters are so well fleshed out, and each scene is just actually fantastic. I solidly recommend this one and I am soooo thankful to the author for bringing it into existence!

just touched down in london town - @phanetixs - "Hamilton is actually really nice and the plot is very interesting and okay, well, there’s this guy."In which, London is not as bad in the summer, a cute guy dies considerably in Act III and Phil has actually lucked out for once.

Look not only do I stalk all of this authors fics, but this is one of my all time favorites of theirs. They managed to take an idea that almost seems ludicrous and make it into something not only super hot, but super realistic and really, really, really fun. I absolutely adore this fic and I give you all the kudos my wonderful author. Thank you for writing such a wonderful au!

Which as they kiss, consume - @irrevocablys which for some reason it wont tag you :( -  Dan’s an aspiring actor, and Phil’s so over studying Romeo and Juliet.

This was one of my first theater au’s and I truly adore it. its just like got this super cute undertone to it thats incredibly wonderful? I just love the way the characters interact and the ease and flow of the writing <3 thank you for giving us something so beautful

Supernatural Elements

Ride with the moon in the dead of night - @mooksie01 -Phil seriously needs to buy some allergy medicine or something. Or at least open a window next time he performs a demonic ritual. He wouldn't have thought that one little sneeze could've messed up a spell so bad, but now he has a demon on his hands and only six days to get rid of it before he's stuck with it forever....And maybe the demon is acting like a total cinnamon roll, but Phil is positive that it's all just an elaborate ruse.

ajdlsfkjasdlkjfls omfg I love this fic so much. I actually adore fics with supernatural elements in them and this is one of those fics that always stands out to me. It’s just really hilarious and well written and is just overall a fun take on witch phil. I just, i really love it, and I’m so grateful it exists. Thank you wonderful author <3

Reflections of the Heart - @butterflyphil - “Being told to dress up in a dinosaur onesie and have cereal catapulted at your face is a little odd. Waking up to find that you and your best friend have switched bodies? That’s fucking bizarre.”(Or, the multi-chaptered, slightly smutty bodyswap fic that no one asked for. Featuring whiny/annoying!Dan, sassy/beguiling!Phil, unintentional innuendos, intentional innuendos, unnecessary kitchen supplies, and just a pinch of magic).

UHM, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVE FICS? Lol. I just really freaking love body swap fic and you did such a good job with this fic. it’s honestly just super fun and a little hot and really cute and beautiful overall. I really just, really cant thank you enough for this fic and rec it really really highly!

Vampires & Werewolfs

High - @icandigelvis -  Just the ordinary story of Dan and Phil, except one little detail. Phil isn't human in this one. Expect biting, bickering, playlist live, blood, bad jokes and sex.

ajdslfkjasl listen I love vampire fic and this one is just so good. it’s so true to dnp’s personalities and just like, accurate to who they’d be tbh. And like, the fact that it sticks so close to reality aside from the vampire difference is what makes it even better so thank you so much to the lovely author for writing it. It’s everything I ever needed and more from a vampire fic

Taking Every Chance I’ve Got All - @nagirci - Dan wanted was to get drunk, really. Have a good time, meet a few new people. He didn’t really think about getting involved with someone as dangerous as Phil Lester (someone as cold, as pale and, well, as not alive), and he definitely didn’t think that one trip out to a bar would change his life forever.

This is like a really older fic that’s from one of the first phandom big bangs but it’s one of my first favorite vampire fics of all time as well and it’s just. really good and really well thought and the collaboration work on it is incredibly flawless. I honeslty would tell anyone to read it at any time because it comes together so well

Sharp Teeth - @theshyauthor -  AmazingPhil is a Youtuber and a vampire and according to Dan Howell, he is the nicest person to exist. From their first meeting in 2009 all the way to that one incident in the elevator at the BBC, this is their story.

Again this is just such a good take on 2009 and the reality of dnp with added vampirism tossed in. Plus the author is a beautiful wonderful person and I really enjoy their writing so its a total please go read this kind of fic x3 Thank you darling for writing something so wonderful <3

be sure to ring the doorbell - @frostbittencheeks -  Dan’s a tired sports reporter, Phil’s a friendly vampire with no real sense of boundaries and a propensity for bad Dracula jokes as well as leaving his unconscious victims in Dan’s kitchen. This isn’t how Dan thought courtship goes, but he’ll take it.

Can you tell I love vampire fics? This one is so well done, I literally re-read it constantly. I love the whole idea behind it, specifically the fact that Phil’s version of courtship is literally ridiculous and he doesn’t even think that they need to talk about it hahahaha I just love how funny and adorable it is and it’s just totally worth a few minutes of your time

a puppy sort of love - @symmetricdnp -  Dan's supposedly a werewolf. Phil has doubts.

I honestly want to beg this person to write me more of this fic cause the permise is just that good. There are so few werewolf fics in the phandom, and especially ones that are this cute, thoughout , and well written. I absolutely adore this fic and I totally rec it to all of you. The author is wonderful, thank you so much for writing this fic <3

Blind

It’s the blue of your eyes, and the way you’re scared, love - @glitteraccent Soulmate (Color)! & Blind!Phil  au 

Okay but like this story always sticks out in my memory and I think on it often. It’s one of my all time favorite soulmate au’s and blind au’s, because it was just structured so well and the characters make your heart fall for them really, really fast. I love this author and tumblr wont tag them, but reblog their fic and give them all the love in the world!

[stagmanparty]

So I finished watching MLP Season 8 and...

….it´s actually not bad.

Yeah, I´m the first to admit I have to eat my words and agree the show hasn´t really gone down as much as I thought after the movie. I still hate it but the show itself remains good. Yes, there are more than a few mediocre or outright horrible episodes there but the good ones more than compensate.

I do believe that Dubuc is kinda out of her element on ponies, which may explain her use for an entire new cast aside from hasbro´s orders. The friendship school thing is done better than I though tough I still think is kinda stupid at moments.

Overall the balance is...fine.

I was expecting worse but it was an okay season.

I do hate that they explicitly mention the events of the movie but they´re STILL refusing to acknowledge the Equestria Girls ones. Come on Mccarty, stop being embarrassed ot the BETTER story!

Below the cut is my personal opinions of each episode with a dose of sarcasm if u want to read them but for the season as a whole I´ll give a 7/10 it was regular to me.

701-702:  “Girls, I want you all to work on my new school!”

“We have lives, Twilight”

ROLL CREDITS

So this wasn´t bad. I though Twilight was gonna be more selfish but she actually makes some fair points and owns to her mistakes here. What´s funny is that she doesn't act this way the rest of the season…

I still think the students are kinda lame but I like how they interact with each other and the episode itself was well handled.

Still, Twilight isn't perfect either since she refuses to have zebras or buffaloes or talking cats on her school. Hell, there aren´t even crystal ponies so she´s almost as bad the racist snape guy.

Kinda standard but good episodes.

7/10

703: “So sis, when are you gonna leave?”

“The town?”

“The show…”

I said it once, I´ll said it again, Maud overstayed her welcome. She´s no longer funny and feels like a creator pet by now.

That said the episode itself is actually really good.

Confalone GETS pinkie and gives he an actual character and this was honestly better handled that with Twilight.

Hell for a second I thought Pinkie was gonna have to deal with her own since her meeting with the guy has all the elements of a meet cute scene =P

I could live without the stupid opening scene but it seems even Pinkie realized Maud was being offensive to her audience there…

A really fun Pinkie episode to add to the pile

8/10

804 “thank you for calling me, Rarity. I can surely help you with all my sewing knowledge”

“Oh for this episode I´ll need you to forget about all that, darling and be completely useless”

So yeah, this was a waste of time.

So the mane six can´t help Rarity with her store but have plenty of time to go yell at Fluttershy?

And if Rarity hates the ponies of Saddle Row so much why does she enve sells them clothes?

I actually hate how they´re all portrayed cause they´re feeding the stereotype that people into fashion are shallow and petty and the whole point of Rarity´s character was to subvert that!

I only laughed at one joke in the whole episode.

So yeah another terrible fluttershy episode to add to the pile

2/10

805 The real reason Rainbow flies so fast...to escape her gay for applejack thoughts.

So a perfectly okay episode.

In other seasons it would have gone unnoticed but in this one it stands out for having solid writing.

It was fun and rainbow was very likeable here since she honestly seemed more concern about the grannies than anything.

It feels a bit stretched out but this is normal for a pony episode.

I do hope she kicks Applejack's behind the second she came back to town though…

A fun Rainbow episode.

7/10

806 “Girls, while you wasted time trying to help that kid with divorced parents I acciBURPddentally destroyed a scared statue so we better run, you bastards!” then Twilight pulls a rick an actually leaves them behind =P

SO yeah a complete waste of time.

I understand the point but it doesn't work for me since it seems like they made the problem way too simple.

I also dislike the hippogriffs on principle since i find I them really lame characters so…

Oh and this episode has the WORST song in the entire show. Hell is not even a song, is just words with music behind it.

So yeah, pretty lame episode.

2/10

807 “See Twilight, Sunset would have just told me things straight to my face! Then try to stab me in the back but the point remains…”

I already talked about this back when it aired and yeah, my opinion hasn't changed.

This isn´t a Celestia episode, is another of Twilight´s poorly made panic attacks ones.

We learned absolutely nothing about Celestia, she learns nothing at all and we wasted twenty minutes of our lives.

For a fan of the character, waiting nine years for this is nothing but an insult.

The saddest thing is knowing that the show will end without having a proper celestia episode.

So yeah, a total waste of time with only the adorable sunbutt to save some face

4/10

808 “You noticed all the wanted posters for you on the way here, Starlight?”

“No, actually not”

“yeah me neither, good thing you´re friends with a princess…”

Really, how come Starlight is NOT a wanted criminal? The episode could have dealt with her hometown disowning her but nope, is just a kinda lame sitcom situation.

Hell, it would have been better if we´re told the parents hooked up and now Starlight and Sunburst feel all kind of awkard but nope.

i suppose there´s like a moral lesson in here but the episode was so dull I don't even remember it.

It could have been a better story but it amounts to nothing.

3/10

809 “And to think this all started over a parking lot…”

“you don´t even need the parking lot, Rainbow!”

THAT would have been a better premise…

So yeah, remember season 1? Cool ,cause this is the exact same episode. Nothing new added and nothing interesting happens.

Go watch the leaf episode instead, is way better.

3/10

810 “Wait, Big Mac has a what now? How come nopony told me? Do I look like a jealous sister or something?”

“the shotgun isn't helping, AJ…”

Have they really interacted these two? I mean, don´t want a repeat of the same storyline. Infact, showing that Applejack and Sugar whatever get along well will be an interesting episode.

Far more interesting than this for sure.

I was bored the entire time and shut up, sweetie Belle. You'll be lucky to have Snips…

Another time waster.

2/10

811 “Spike, can´t you just masturbate like a regular teenager? I mean you have your own room now so it won´t be weird for me anymore…”

Again, remember season 2? Go watch that instead.

It even made more sense back then but now spike not knowing “how to dragon” has become a huge plot hole cause there´s absolutely no reason for him not to know these things so this entire conflict is pointless.

Oh and him having wings is something I don't really like.

Explain how he didn't have those during season 2 when he grew, hasbro! ANother lame Spike episode to the bad spike episodes pile.

2/10

812 “Girls, you rather go to a school where you dont´do any homework, play games all day, het to eat delicious food..actually I´m leaving too, school closed!”

So yeah do they do anything at Twilight school other than waste time? No wonder the CMC want to go there! Wasting time is their entire MO nowadays since they have their marks!

Prety standard episode, is honestly just to introduce the villain.

The only really fun thing is the “your mom” bit, I would have approved her out of that alone.

It´s okay, sadly can´t say more.

6/10

813 “Evil clones, what was I thinking? Dinosaurs, that´s a proper supervillain plan!”

MEH I mean it´s an okay episode but when you get to it is just repeating stuff from the first discord episode, nothing new. nothing gained.

That should be the motto of this season.

MEH

6/10

814 “Discord, what part of go to hell don´t you get?”

“The part where you forgot to tell me to stay there”

This episode is horrible!

What´s the moral lesson, be an asshole and get away with everything?

WHy the hell does Starlight apologizes? Why is HER problem that Discord feels bad? The idiot should take it on Twilight and she ahs a perfect reason not to let him in the school..Discord is an asshole! As this episode demonstrated!

Can he just...leave, please?

Worst episode of the season.

1/10

815 “Twilight, shouldn't we invite Zecora one of these days?”

“You wanna explain Kwanzaa to the viewers, Rainbow?”

ZZZZZZZZZ

Oh what? Oh yeah this episode.

Look I get the point and being objective there's nothing wrong with this episode but my god, tiw as boring!

Just the same bit repeated over and over and over and over…

Whatever, technically there's nothing wrong with it but I didn't like it.

6/10

816 “So mono means one and rail menas...no wait, wrong scam. Calls dismissed!”

“Slow down bro, so who´s the princess of friendship then?”

“The one with the eyepatch!”

“BLAST!”

So...a perfectly normal episode.

Again, this show always suffers from not having a b plot going on so the conflict get  a bit stretched but as an episode, it was well done.

Hey snape is right that Friendship IS a weapon in this universe, glad someone finally mentioned it.

There´s actually a good moral lesson about how no matter if the lessons are good if the methods are fraudulent which coming from Hasbro is the ultimate irony.

Flim Flam are kinda overdone at this point but it still works.

7/10

817 “Remember that time you left me in the desert with pinkie?”

“Oh sure, everything looks bad when you remember it…”

Actually a pretty good episode.

I mean the premise relies on twilight´s students being borderline sociopaths (guys, is not that complex of an idea, friends can disagree on things) but the episode itself it was really fun and the Raridash wa adorable.

I honestly liked it.

8/10

818 “I mean we could have get you a teacher and encouraged to get better through a montage but insulting you and hurting your feelings seemed like a better idea, pinkie”

Way to handle a problem, girls!

What part of this is supportive” pinkie? Your friends were assholes to you that made you feel bad so you stop bothering them and then come looking for you because is a problem for THEM?

There´s a better lesson about admitting you may not have the talent for something, which is a lesson that kids DO need to learn but since the problem is solved with a “who cares?” the moral lesson doesnt´work and nobody really learns anything here.

Who approved of this crap?

2/10

819 “I say someone must have  said a funny because your mother is in stitches hahaha! I´ll leave you to your grief, Starlight.”

Finally a good episode!

Actually an excellent one. Coupled with a catchy song and really good dialogue, my man Haber can make a really good episode when he wants.

I have zero complains this was the best episode of the season.

10/10

820 “That´s it I´m taking you to your parents or in its defect your lesbian aunts that cannot be seen in the show due to television censorship policies!”

I´m sorry but cootalo was a brat the entire episode in need of a good spanking.

Rainbow did absolutely nothing wrong and that gid set gogin around here is full of lies.

If anything she was a bit rash over the fact that yeah, the little girl she sees a sister suddenly is throwing her away...again, cause she did it with the maredowell thing also. Funny they didn´t mention it, probably to appease the fandom.

As an episode is nothing bad, Rainbow actually comes out great here so yeah, Scootaloo, you're grounded..as in put in a hole in the ground.

Good episode

8/10

821 “All me friend are long dead…”

“Yeah yeah, lovely. Fill this form here, big guy…”

What's wrong with Twilight this episode? Why is she such an insensitive idiot?

It was pretty clear the obvious solution was just giving him a classroom with no walls and guess what, that´s what she does alter on so what gives?

And why are SPike and SMoulder allowed to burns the school every day?

An dhow come Rockhoof has no job in “modern equestria”? there used to be plenty of things wanting to eat the ponies every week, did they disappear in between seasons or what?

Really stupid episode that only works by everybody bieng assholes to an actually nice guy.

2/10

822 “Look at the bright side Rainbow. We got replaced by a new cast but at least we didn't die horrible on the movie like the transformers did…”

grumble grumble this is actually a really good episode.

I mean I could argue they have already dome similar stuff but it make sense here. The tree of harmony finally gets some light on it and this actually helps make the students look less lame by giving them character so...yeah, it´s actually really good.

Damnit.

9/10

823 “Oh shoot we forgot to invite them to the school!”

“It's okay, Twilight forgot to invite like half of the country as well…”

grumble grumble another really good episode!

I honestly though this episode was gonna suck but it turns out to be one of the best.

It´s obviously a previously unaired episode that they managed to shove into here but is actually a really good so I have zero complains about it.

The kirin is actually really cute and I liked the song so…

9/10

824 “So kid have you seen stuart little?”

“No.”

“Then this whole thing is gonna be new for you…”

So yeah...as an episode is okay but I´l argue that even the target audience could saw this coming a mile away.

My only real problem is that Spike barely apologizes to TWilight despite hurting her so much. Why is he such a brat? Twilight is nothing but a loving and supportive sister to him, look at that opening scene, si so lovely an touching!

Why does the show keep treating Twilight caring for her sibling and treating him like an equal as a bad thing? She even offers to let him go and learn more about his culture, she is supporting and loving why do they keep treating her like she´s doing a bad thing? and again kind of a big plothole nowdays  with dragons going around Equestria with no problems.

Other than that is a fine episode.

7/10

825-826 “Since we´re stuck here where the little filly´s room?”

“There is no little filly´s room in tartarus…”

“NOOOOOOO!”

Really, who built this prison Barry allen? Give them a bucket at least .

Again...actually really good episodes.

The action was good,the stakes were high, while that poor manticore shouldn't be there I still like the good detail than monsters have been kept her since past seasons and than the mane six honestly don´t hold a grudge against them, hope there´s an actual redemption arc down the line and they don't just forget about them like with the other villains,

Speaking of that, Cozy is probably the best vilian on the entire show.Hell, she´s better than Thanos cause she doesn't have an stupid justification, she just want s POWAAAAA! And she´s damn adorable and effective, she almost won.

Still They missed a chance to say that the missing magic was going to the human world to tie things up with Equestria girls for once and who the hell delivers letters to tartarus anyways?

The finally more than makes up and gives almost everyone a chance to shine so I like it. The mane six were treated with a LOT more respect than in the damn movie that's for sure.

Good solid episodes.

8/10

So that´s season 8, is not that bad honestly.. Had they had a better focus it would be better. Continuity is still a bit of a mess and just saying past stuff doesn't count but hey they´re trying.

Now I have like 40 Equestria Girls episodes to catch up though…

[wolfjsamuel]

Life found a way, to make me cough out more cash for more JW movies I just saw "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" yesterday and decided to make a little review about it. This took me 5 hours on a rush this morning, so no Easter Eggs this time, and pardon the crudeness of the quality. [SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT] So I'm a big "Jurassic Park" fan, and I later came to appreciate "Jurassic World". So when I first heard about the sequel 2-3 years ago, I was super excited. But after finally seeing the film, I'm personally unsure of this sequel. For the most part, I felt a little let down, especially with the ending. Let's just say, this isn't the last time Chris Pratt will be dawning the Raptor-Handler persona. But mainly what struck me the most was the treatment of the dinosaurs themselves. This by far is the most emotional time you'll have with the creatures. And I felt it lost the beauty and purpose of "Jurassic Park" . You see, "Jurassic Park" was always about the wonder and glory of these creatures. In this sequel, it didn't seem to honor the creatures as much, in fact, its the opposite, it left them bruised and abused. Unlike previous films where the dinosaurs (in some way or another) take back control of their natural lives, this film hardened on the idea of "dinosaur vs. man" to a heart wrenching degree, which is what Spielberg tried to avoid in his original film. Another thing about JP was the idea of "control", the message being you can't control nature. In this movie, they force the idea that man CAN control nature in a violent way, and as a result, opens the door to the suffrage of these creatures. There was a scene that really broke my heart, which gave me the same sentiment about Han Solo dying. There is one creature who we've seen from the VERY beginning of Jurassic Park, one who has been featured in all (3) movies, which is considered an one of the iconic characters of the film, who perishes by the lava in this movie. If I were the director of this film I would have saved that creature. It is one that welcomed us to the park, and it should have been preserved. Although, sure, it was nature-killing-nature; you had the human element taking these creatures outta the island, they should saved this one as well. Any ways, If you've seen the trailer, and if you're a true fan, you'll obviously get the similarities with"Jurassic Park: The Lost World", and it pretty much is, but with a different ending (an ending that is "the beginning of the end" so to speak). From characters to dialogue, each scene had reference to "The Lost World", right down to the lack of use of the original "Welcome to Jurassic Park" theme song (which dishearten me a bit). Now despite my disappointment, there are some good traits to the film. What I enjoyed the most was spotting the many subtle and obvious references to the original Jurassic Park trilogy, as well as seeing the return of iconic characters from Jurassic World. Added to that, a new twist to InGen genetic-cloning research and backstory story (emphasis on cloning). The reference to John Hammond's back story and his previously unmentioned business partner was very interesting as well. However I wished they'd have done more, maybe add some flashbacks to to the original Jurassic Park itself. Something along the lines of West World, with Anthony Hopkins. Would have been great to see John Hammond in CGI with a younger James Cromwell (Lockworth). Another great thing aesthetically is the use of animatronics, prior to the premier, they had mention the use of returning practical effects, and what's cool is that now days you can't actually distinguish which is practical and which is CGI, and I found myself attempting to spot that for this movie. But I digress, as mentioned, there's obviously going to be more JW movies. Maybe then we'll we delve into the backstory of pre-Jurassic Park and even further since, as previously mention, there is a new installment to the Jurassic-Genetic story that hasn't been done in prior films (And no, it's not the hybrid...it's certainly not an animal for that matter). So, much like Star Wars, we will have to wait and see where the true story will go. Cause right now, "Fallen Kingdom" just opened the door to a new venture. Overall though, "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" was still exciting to watch, despite the critics I made. I think there could have been more to this film; difference of execution. But at the same time, there was just enough to keep me intrigued, and enough to make me a critic - so a fair balance splitting me in the middle. Plus! Can't go wrong with Jeff Goldblum in it. And HEY! In the 20 years he has been detesting this dino park, they sorta listen to him this time. I wish there was more of him though, I had hoped he would have had some interaction with the main characters. Hopefully as JW continues, we may see more of Jeff and maybe more of the original JP characters and park. Either way, can’t say this is my favorite Jurassic movie. It has good moments, but I’d still stick to the first JP and JW. Blue (Velociaptor) and Rexy (T-Rex) (characters) © "2015-2018" (Jurassic World 1 & 2) J.A. Bayone, Colin Trevorrow, Frank Marshall, Patrick Crowley, Steven Speilberg, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Derek Connolly (based on the novel by: Michael Crichton) (Amblin Entertainment, Legendary Pictures & Universal Pictures ™ ) OTHER REFERENCES & LOGO'S ARE COPYRIGHTED © & TRADEMARKED ™ TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNER, PRODUCTION, COMPANY & STUDIO wolfjedisamuel © 18

[tupperwerebox]

Adding onto this cause i found the google doc that has the newer seasons:

-After season 11 and losing his powers so many times, Kai doesn’t use his powers as much. When training he makes sure to train himself just as much as his powers, if not more. After losing his element so many times he’s paranoid he might lose it again, he hated how helpless he felt and so doesn’t rely on them as much as he used to.

- Jays handwriting ? absolutely dogshit. the other ninja cant read it most of the time and sometimes even he cant

-When the ninja first took Lloyd in they had to go over and help teach him basic things like maths because darklys didn’t really do much of it. Kai and Nya (despite kai’s stubbornness) also sat in on many of the lessons because they never got a proper schooling due to their parents disappearance.

- Cole loves Footloose and Grease (seeing his mum and dad dance) while Jay is more partial to Sliding Doors (reminds him of his skybound arc) Zane loves tangled (relates to the sheltered/ no knowing who he is aspect) and also David Attenborough documentaries (idk dinosaurs bro). Kai is a httyd kid (idk just makes sense) and Nya likes princess and the frog (hardworking female protag who she can vaguely relate to). Lloyd strikes me as a live action scooby doo kind of guy (like the one with the shitty graphics cause they’re funny).

-

Lego Ninjago headcannons because i have nothing better to do on this god forsaken app amd i love the little lego people.

(i haven’t seen the sons of garmadon or anything past that so i’m sorry if much of it is outdated, i haven’t watched the series in a while :()

- Lloyd had stretch marks !! after fighting the grundle and ageing up he got loads around his legs and arms. his back especially too.

-Kai’s body had terrible temperature control. he’s either too hot or too cold. it’s a side effect of his element.

-Jay often gives out little static electric shocks. he doesn’t mean to but it just happens. it’s much more common if he’s jsut used his element

-Cole often gets really bad arthritis. the ninja would tease him about it bc it’s an “old people’s thing” but it does hurt sometimes

-When first learning spinjitzu the ninja would get really dizzy, but like a lot of dancers they learnt to whip their head round when using it to keep themselves from getting dizzy.

-Nya doesn’t really sleep, she more “cat naps” if you will. she’s up a lot of the time doing lots of different things so rather than sleeping all at once she takes little rests throughout the day.

-Either that or she works herself till she passes out. no in betweens

-After giving half his “heart” to Pixel, Zane often forgot how to do simple little tasks. Mostly things like unlocking and locking doors but the most serious thing was when he forgot how to get down a ladder after getting up and freaked out so much he nearly fried his circuits.

if anyone has anything to add i’d love to hear it :D

(and does anyone know where to find the newer seasons ?? i cant find them all on netflix :(( )

[shirlleycoyle]

The Tamagotchi Cemetery

This article was originally published on Burials and Beyond. You can subscribe to the Burials and Beyond Patreon here.

“I thought it would be better for him here because I didn’t really want to reset him because it would be like a different thing and I was really close to him. I know that sounds stupid, but I was. But you can bury your pets and if you love something else, you can bury them as well.”

So said young mourner Danielle Perren in 1997.

Interring her pet into the beautiful farmland of Pontsmill, Cornwall, Danielle’s beloved friend was placed into a tiny wooden coffin and buried in a small square grave, there to rest in peace. Danielle’s grief was very real, but her pet? Not so much. That was a Tamagotchi.

In 1996, Japanese toy designers Aki Maita and Yokoi Akihiro debuted the first ever Tamagotchi. The tiny plastic case held the world’s first virtual pet, which, despite being a simple arrangement of pixels, required constant care and attention, lest the creature perish. Released by Bandai, the egg-shaped toy was one of the biggest fads of the 90s, maintaining a surprising popularity over the decades, with over 82 million units sold as of 2017.

The name itself is a portmanteau of two Japanese words; ‘tamago’, meaning ‘egg’ and ‘uotchi’, meaning watch. Considering the product is an egg shaped toy, the size of a watch…it seems to be pretty solid marketing.

​Image: ​​​Mathieu Polak/Sygma/ Sygma via Getty Images​

Those of us who were at school in the 90s will vividly recall a classroom of incessant bleeps and cries of ‘I’ve gotta feed ‘im’, before the eggs were promptly and unsurprisingly banned from schoolyards. From this grew a strange, rarely remembered, sideline in individuals who would take your Tamagotchi into daycare, feeding and washing them (via tiny button clicks) until you could return from school or work. As bizarre as it sounds, after recently discovering a pair of 25-year old Tamagotchi survivors, I believe nothing to be impossible.

The Tamagotchi interface is incredibly simple, with most utilising three buttons, which correspond to care functions of the creature. The pet, should it live that long, is designed to go through a basic life cycle of Baby, Child, Teenager and Adult (with later versions adding a hopeful Senior option). However, the majority of Tamagotchis had brief, fleeting lives before succumbing to death through a child’s negligence.

While many parents bought their offspring Tamagotchis as toys, others thought that a child taking responsibility for a digital creature would be an ideal pre-pet investment, to see if they were mature enough to understand the needs of another living thing. While this is an ideal moralistic exercise, what occurred in reality was a pocket of brief generational trauma where young children woke up to find that, after sleeping though muted midi cries of hunger at 3am, their new toy had perished overnight. You killed your first pet.

​Image: ​​​Mathieu Polak/Sygma/ Sygma via Getty Images​

This culpability for death is one of the strangest qualities in toy history; even the death of shoals of Sea Monkeys failed to elicit such a primal reaction of grief and blame from the very young. In the new world of portable digital pets, they were expected to entertain, but not truly die. This element of blame, guilt and finality was truly amped up in the early Japanese models where a ghost and headstone would meet the neglectful owner. In more recent English-language variants, this cemetery scene was substituted for an angel of death, or a cheery little UFO, popping in to take the Tamagotchi back to its home planet. Once you’ve inadvertently murdered your new pal, the game can be reset and you’re trusted with a strange egg baby once more.

The Tamagotchi in its many forms has never shied away from death, addressing the finality of existence in its cheery little game, but also in its genuinely bizarre cartoon.

In the ninth episode of the original tie-in anime, titled ‘The First Death’, several little creatures gather and weep inconsolably at the bedside of a dying Tamagotchi (Ginjirotchi),after a small yellow doctor with mouse ears (Mametchi) confirms death. Quickly, the soul of the deceased is surrounded by tiny little angels, who guide it to the pearly gates and Tamagotchi heaven, which is mainly pink clouds and sweets. Suddenly, the sweets disappear in a cruel trap and the Tamagotchi is tormented by little bat creatures with forks (Deviltchi), before being rescued once more and taken back into hyper-cute heaven where everyone sits down and has pudding together. The whole affair lasts a matter of minutes and is as brilliant as it is disconcerting.

I never owned a Tamagotchi in my 90s heyday, as my mother couldn’t afford the indulgence. Instead, I had a knock-off variant, a Giga Pet called ‘Compu Kitty’ from Woolworths, with which I was utterly chuffed. (I still have it to this day, unable to part with the luminous yellow crap plastic atrocity.)

I vividly remember crying when I woke up for school one morning and the pixelated cat had breathed its last. But one reset later, those tears dried, and after another six hours came another death. After that, the circle of life seemed rather less majestic and a more predictable cycle of button pushing and bleeps.

In 1996, a pet cemetery in Pontsmill, Cornwall was the first to diversify their interments and fence off a dedicated section for the burial of electronic pets. When CNN reported in 1997, they equated this very modern mourning with the established love that British people have of their traditional, breathing pets.

On January 17th 1997, two teenage girls were in Cornwall to bury their Tamagotchis, named Sid and Arty, two consoles never to be reset.

My first thought was very outdated parental shock, as Tamagotchi’s weren’t terribly cheap when they came out and to bury a brand new toy seems awfully wasteful. Taking another expensive trip to Argos wouldn’t have gone down too well in my household.

However, 14-year-old Danielle was strong in her resolve and placed the little plastic contraption into the earth. She was not alone in her beliefs either, as cemetery owner Terry Squires revealed that many international burials had been carried out in his Cornish field. Tamagotchis from as far afield as Switzerland, Germany, France, Canada and America had all been laid to rest in his pet cemetery, with many more on the way.

However, looking at Pontsmill today, there are no mentions to be found of deceased cyberpets, with the business promoting itself solely as a pet cemetery and green burial site for traditional human interments. I would be curious to know if the rudimentary headstones remain, or if the Tamagotchis and their mournful batteries were turned over or forgotten as many other crazes came and went.

For those who wanted to memorialise their Tamagotchis, but didn’t fancy burying the case in the garden, there were several online cemeteries and memorial sites for dead digital pets, where eulogies, ages and causes of death could be recorded in one enormous late 90s census.

Today, there are a handful of online Tamagotchi cemeteries still functioning, if long-abandoned. However, records of their digital death and memorials remain in sites such as Tama Talk’s Memorial page. These old GeoCities or Angelfire websites are framed in pixelated gifs and solemn MIDI music where you must adjust your eyes to decipher the spidery text against questionable repeated wallpaper. In these simple databases, names and brief epitaphs are recorded; some sincere, some dismissive and some simply odd:

Banjo – Cause of Death: Died taking the biggest crap you’ve ever seen.

Joe the Dinosaur – Cause of Death: Accidental Resetting.

‘My poor Joe. The first born. He had a good life and was taken care of very well It was unfortunate that his life had to come to such an abrupt end, whilst living in a jeans pocket. We shall all miss him very dearly.’

These eulogies and epitaphs are time capsules of young people’s first interactions with death and loss, where an essay can prove as impactful as an unplanned tumble into a bathtub. There’s a certain importance of a digital emotional connection in childhood that deserves to remain memorialised, and not lost to the ether.

The levels of emotional investment that we have with digital media, and computers in particular, has been tracked by researchers since the 1980s. Alan Turing said in his 1950 paper ‘Can Machines Think?’ that we can judge the intelligence of a computer by its performance in conversation with man. Namely, if the computer is able to convince the human subject that they are talking to a fellow human and not a machine, then human-equivalent intelligence can be determined. This test became known as the ‘Turing Test’ and is still studied and implemented today in experiments of navigating artificial technology, or the ability of ‘bots’ to mimic human interaction.

In the intervening decades, it has been noted that people attribute an increased level of personhood to a computer, not least in terms of pre-programmed gameplay. Therefore, if a Tamagotchi was able to incite very real joy and grief from its user or owner, it could be seen as the first great wave of artificial intelligence in the western world.

In more extreme contemporary circumstances, man’s relationship with digital games has snowballed. While in terms of toys, other digital pets like the Furby, Poo-Chi (which I did own briefly, but was swiftly broken by my portly, recently-divorced father screaming into its microphone on Christmas day. I’m over it. It’s fine.) or even NeoPets virtual pet community have not brought about the same primal love and devotion as the humble Tamagotchi. Perhaps it was the inevitability of death that separated our love for the Tama from its immortal digital counterparts.

However, interactions with digital gameplay appear to have moved in two separate directions; ambivalence and devotion.

Today, electronic games and pets are commonplace, providing no new emotional experiences for children who have grown up within the digital age, where entertainment can be accessed at the click of a button and nothing is finite.

On the other hand, there are instances of individuals such as a 27-year old Japanese man named Sal 9000 (the only name he would provide to the press), who was so emotionally invested in the DS Game ‘Love Plus’, decided to marry the main avatar in a lavish, if highly controversial ceremony in 2009. When questioned as to whether he could truly love a digital, pre-programmed woman, he explained that “I love this character, not a machine.” Going on to say that “I understand 100 percent that this is a game. I understand very well that I cannot marry her physically or legally.”

However, his preference for the digital, predictable and placid provoked far more discussion. Explaining that Nene Anegasakiwas better than a ‘real’ girlfriend, he listed her perks, stating that, “She doesn’t get angry if I’m late in replying to her. Well, she gets angry, but she forgives me quickly.”[1]

Sal is not alone in his preference and several others have followed in his stead, marrying digital characters in ceremonies across the world. In 2018, Japan hit the headlines again as 35-year-old school administrator Akihiko Kondo married the hologram of video game character, Hatsune Miku. Whether these marriages will last when the bride’s updates are discontinued is another matter, but our changing relationship with life, love, and death in the digital age is undeniable.

On which note, I’ll thank you for taking this strange journey with me and take my leave. My Compu Kitty needs feeding.

The Tamagotchi Cemetery syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/