#NGL I PROBABLY WATCHED THIS PILOT MORE THAN ONCE

[bl-bam-beyond]

BL ANTICIPATION

Series: My Stubborn

From: MFLOW ENTERTAINMENT

Admittedly for me at least MFLOW has been a disappointment in many ways (for me) with such series as TIME: THE SERIES ▪︎ BEYOND THE STAR ▪︎ COFFEE MELODY

But not so bad per se was AI LONG NHAI ▪︎ SECOND CHANCE

But then came the official pilot trailer of MY STUBBORN with BOAT YONGYUT TERMTUO AND OAT PASAKORN SANRATTANA. BOAT WAS IN MY SECRET LOVE IN 2022 and gorgeous there but this guy has leveled up...

My Stubborn Official Pilot has gotten 3.5 million views since it's release in November so if you haven't seen. It's available on YouTube MFLOW CHANNEL and also stars YOON from UNFORGOTTEN NIGHT, YYY, Y-DESTINY, CLOSE FRIEND etc.

@pose4photoml @just-another-boyslove-blog @wanderlust-in-my-soul

[anonymouscheeses]

more obvious shit I wanted to point out but it's more than last time uhhh pt.2 (spoilers for dad beat dad and maybe welcome to heaven. Maybe?)

I love that Charlie just randomly goes into demon form sometimes like here ehhehehe. Also can I just say I love Charlie so much?? She is my favorite and I love her especially in this episode because it feels like the same optimistic Charlie but she was just put in a bad situation. I relate to her a bit TOO much, almost down to every detail like wow. You'll understand later once I get there. But just wow...

LOOK AT THIS FUNNY LITTLE MAN. SPOODER DUST <3 also. Live [image] reaction. Someone make that into a reaction image 🙏🙏

HONEY!!! NEW MEME TEMPLATE JUST DROPPED. (Aka the one guy going crazy trying to explain the stuff on the board iykyk)

OMG... THAT CANT BE CHARLIE... NOT CHARLIE'S EMO PHASE PLEASE BAHAHAHHAHAHA (also love that Lucifer has kept it all these years, if Charlie knew I think she'd be extremely embarrassed. Vaggie would love it probably xd)

HE IS SO GOOFY I CANT- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ALREADY!!! NEED.

Broskie got character development and is NICE?!? I LOVE THAT SMMM YALL.... LOOK AT HIM!! I am very delusional yes, but I will take this over ass development(cough. Vaggie's "story" in ep 3. Cough).

Imagine this. *holds your hand carefully to help you calm down while talking to your father you haven't really wanted to talk to.* lesbian type stuff ngl 🤯 (relatable)

Angel looking at the gays while being a gay too. HE'S BEING SO KIND TO CHARLIE UGGHH I CANTTT!!(POS) NODDING HIS HEAD, SMILING TO HER, ALSO TRYING TO HELP CALM HER DOWN. I MAY BE ASS AT SOCIAL CUES BUT I NOTICED THIS ONE!! YAA

*SHE IS STILL HOLDING HER HAND. CHARLIE'S ALSO SWINGING IT AROUND NERVOUSLY. I can never get tired of them and will make art soon just you wait.*

COMMANDER VAGGIE! I love that she acts like this is a camp full of tiny kids and honestly? That's not too far off. Sir pentious is at the ready! (glad he's here more often in the episode, thought he would just get sidelined after his first episode but gladly no!) Angel is just surprised. Husk spilled his drink, ON WHITE FUR NO LESS! Niffty of course is on the floor face first. Charlie is just happy to be there yippee!

What is this?? I have no idea what the hell it is at all. Bro is just peepin- it doesn't look like Alastor, even in demon form. And... I can't think of anyone else who could be this. Anyone have ideas or maybe it's foreshadowing? Maybe it was revealed in the 6th episode I don't know I haven't watched it yet. (I am a freak. I don't binge I give myself a day to watch a single episode. Most of the time uhhh.)

WE LOVE A SHORT KING. I LOVE THAT. I LOVE HIM. THE EVERYTHING. HE IS EVERYTHING. LET ME STRANGLE HIM PLEASE. (Lillith and Lucifer's dynamic is 100% Gomez and Morticia but a little more silly short man)

"OH WOW! AN OLDER MAN WHO GIVES ME FATHERLY CARE!" *STARTS TO FUCKING CRY*

I FEEL YOU CHARLIE WAAAGHHH

Oh and there goes the silly guy again! Atp I'm thinking it may be the gal some people been talking about that they've been hinting since the pilot. I forgot her name but she's said to be the big bad of season 1 or probably 2. Not sure if that's what it's trying to imply but here's my little no-thought idea

Lucifer, no...

LUCIFER NO!! THIS IS SUCH AN ADORABLE RESPONSE TO CHARLIE DATING A WOMAN. (ADOPT ME)

AND THEN THE HUG! I GET IM LOOKING TOO MUCH INTO THIS ONE SILLY SCENE BUT I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH AND WANT THIS SO BAD IN MY LIFE.

Niffty really said, "Yes, I do the cleaning."

Get yourself a taller king who is a short king but compared to you is a tall king

Say what you will, but I genuinely want more dad Alastor, someone make an au before I do plsss and @ me 🙏🙏

alright.. now this is where it starts to be relatable and hurt my heart... yayy.... needing any sort of parent figure that actually cares about you than the actual parent who is rarely there? WOWZA! SAME CHARLIE <3 <3 (SO FAR VERY ACCURATE FROM SOMEONE THAT IS IN THE SAME SITUATION)

Alastor is letting her off kindly, atleast in his way. He may be pissed off she brought a shark gang to the hotel and put it on fire, but they were still close friends. With anyone else he would absolutely either murder them or have severely traumatized the person. She's the exception, although I don't think he'd let it off the hook so easily if there were a next time.

A father-daughter embrace! :,)

(This is gonna be messy asf) He wants to know who she is as a person. He always has, and that's definitely obvious, but from a person inside this, they may not know themselves what the other is thinking. To Charlie it was like he never cared and just wanted an excuse to not see her again, acting like he was truly busy as in the start where he made the rubber duck that breathed fire. Sure. But Charlie saw it as him finding ways to not interact with her again. The only times they talk was when it was related to business stuff or other things of the sort. Let me just say this song... is by far my favorite, including the episode. Sure, it's got problems it's own, but this extremely accurate portrayal of what my own situation with one of my parents just stole my entire soul. Yeah I got a bit of tears about to come out, BUT NOPE! NOT TODAY! I don't ever cry during shows or movies so if I ever get teary-eyed, YOU DID SOMETHING. THAT SOMETHING BEING GOOD. This episode was emotional and connected with me on a deep level that I dont think any film has ever done to me, which is weird because I've been actively trying to find one, any one that does. Then to find it in an indie company from a creator who has achieved the dreams that I myself want to one day? That's fucking amazing.

FORESHADOWING! FROESHADOWING! FORESHADOWING! VAGGIE EX-ANGEL THEORY MUST BE CANON AND IF ITS NOT I WILL TEAR MYSELF LIMB FROM LIMB WITH A CROWBAR. LETS GO TO HEAVENNN!!! TOMORROW! BECAUSE THE DAY I PUBLISH THIS WILL BE TOMORROW(FOR YOU TODAY) BUT TOMORROW FOR YOU ILL POST THE NEXT WHAT I CAUGHT SHENANIGANS AGAIN! SEE YA!

[lokis-wager]

So! Adventure is Nigh Season 3 just wrapped up! And Nick said before the show that it will be late Fall before we get any new episodes 😭😭😭 Let's talk about the finale.

Incredible that the entire party managed to dodge the robot army thing and Chezzeric's attempt at a coup. I hope I'm not misremembering anything, but given that the robots are powered by the souls of the dead, it seems possible that whoever was in on the plot to steal the magic scroll all the way back in the pilot might have been the ones trying to resurrect the robot army? Again, if I'm remembering it right, that scroll summoned lots of ghosts, which probably could have been used to power all those robots.

Mortimer was able to get his revenge in some way by killing B's son and watching her kill her sister, which so far, he seems satisfied by. Ngl I was so sure he was gonna try to sneak-attack the queen when he knelt down by her side - but he didn't. He continues to threaten Grinderbin and be extremely secretive about his identity, which means that there's definitely more to him than just being a changeling. It also doesn't explain why Mortimer is so careful about his identity while Musk doesn't care if anyone knows. Curious!

Dabarella was an absolute menace this episode. She dealt with Kalandra, spared her from dying long enough for Queen B to deal the finishing blow, and summoned a god (technically, two gods!) She seems like she's getting teed up to be very important for the next season, too, being part of the negotiation team between the flora and fauna folk. She's perfect for the job :3 but there's a lot to talk about how the party moves through the world. They heightened the tension between the flora and fauna folk, and they have now assassinated a prince. They've been keeping their tracks covered so far, but they are extremely disruptive and often leave places worse off for their presence than better. They consider themselves heroes, but there's only so much they can do before their chaos catches up. They've just left an entire army full of robots to fill with dead souls below the castle, and destroyed B's necklace, which could lead to quite a lot of trouble down the line.

Grinderbin did so much - his arcana check was vital for deciphering the purpose of the robots. He also held Mortimer back from becoming the king of a robot army lol. He continues to reject his noble heritage, and has completely rejected 'schmoozing and lying'. His quick thinking with the statue defeated Latavia before he could cast more than a single spell, and he had the idea to not switch clothes back with Mortimer once they had finished their deception. Just wrapping an arm around Mortimer when he was being threatened was just adorable - he trusts Mortimer completely, despite everything he's seen. But if it comes down to Mortimer, or Dabarella and Sigmar, I wonder who he'd chose? Um. Also. Flora folk are made of other people's souls?????? WHAT???? WAS GRINDERBIN SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE???

Sigmar absolutely fucking tanked so many hits. Without him, they would not have made it through the Kalandra fight. His bone'n'marrow is incredibly cool, tbh, even if it is a bit of a pain to use. He also got to use his spell-stealing gauntlet at last, wooo! Seeing Eggelier just snap and completely bash him across the face was pretty funny lol, after everything they put her through, though, she deserved to get a hit in. Sigmar's first instinct being to destroy the machine was, honestly, the kind of call that I would have made. It looks complicated, looks dangerous, and they're absolutely gonna be dealing with the consequences of this one for a while yet.

Everyone played their characters so well and the final battle was absolutely incredible. This is literally the funnest show I've watched in a long time, I was glued to my seat and barely felt the time passing. Everything about this was worth the wait and I'm so happy we have new episodes now. I can't wait for everything to get re-released and to have all the episodes to watch from start to end. I'm excited for season 4, wooo!

[giffingthingsss]

Got back from traveling and binged the whole thing in a couple days.

I'm kinda mixed, although that probably has more to do with consuming it in one big gulp than anything.

There's a lot to like. I'm really happy they gave Chakotay some good stuff. They managed to treat everything respectfully while not erasing anything.

The way they gave nine million IMPLICATIONS about Chakotay and Holo Janeway, Chakotay and normal Janeway, without actually saying anything. lol Upholding the tradition.

The sailing the ship stuff I was like, 'yes, I could use so much of this.' But maybe it was partly a bit of a slower pace that I liked. I loved the sequence of Chakotay's daily life.

I don't care about the tie ins to the new stuff, but I guess they did the best they could with it. And I like that our crew is just kinda out there doing their own thing apart from it all.

I really liked the whole flashback sequence.

I could have used more Solum stuff, ngl. Kind of a beautiful planet and interesting culture.

I do think there's no reason anymore to pussyfoot around the J/C relationship and I kinda can't believe they did it again, but I also wonder if things might be a lot less fun if they did close that loop finally. Half the fun of fandom and fanfic is filling in the gaps yourself. But I'm sure shippers would not agree.

Was not expecting Wesley to be a huge part of the thing, but liked what they did with him. I have no opinion on the character, but I think most would say that if you don't like him usually, this made him likeable.

Overall, the plot felt a bit rehashed even though it really wasn't, because it was about making the first season happen so they kept going over things that had already happened. We got a prequel, basically.

I really liked the Dal realizing there's more than being a captain and the hints that he might be more pilot material.

Loved the constant "i'm a doctor, not a - " jokes.

Did they mention B'Elanna? I get that Roxann probably isn't interested or is too busy to actually do anything, but c'mon. We got Tom Paris references, you could name drop her. Maybe I missed it.

I'll have to watch it again more slowly. It's all too much to fit in my head at once.

So how are we feeling about season 2?

[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter two: Rebellion

Din Djarin x Reader x Cassian Andor

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter warnings: some brief angst, this ones pretty mellow ngl

Words: 3.3k

A/n: i was not expecting such a good response from the first chapter but bruh you guys are amazing- anyway here's part two of my brain's misery

Part 2/?

The trip from Mandalore to the planet of Dantooine was long, and still ongoing. We all took turns, watching to see if we were any closer. After each jump from hyperspace, the transport would stop at a space refueling tank, before slowly going onward toward the destination. We must have been traveling several systems across the galaxy. We had a few laughs, mainly while watching Gander try and steal Shyloh's food from his knapsack while he was sleeping. Most of the other time we all just sat in silence, up until this point.

"What do you think we're all going to do once we get to the rebel base?" Merc raised his voice slightly, barely capturing our attentions as we had all been dozing off, and Shyloh was taking watch at the view point.

"What do you mean?" I had asked, not quite sure of what he was getting at. I sat up straighter against the wall, showing my interest in the newfound conversation.

"What branch do you think you'll end up in?" He was in a daze as he spoke, almost unsure of his intentions of bringing it up. His dark eyes were nearly emotionless under his furrowed brow.

"I hadn't really thought about it. I would say maybe something like mechanics," I said, thinking of the best possible use of my talents. I'm sure there's plenty of mechanical help already assisting the rebels, but with the galactic empire growing it's forces by the day, they needed all the help they could get.

"What about flying?" Shyloh perked up from his seat at the window.

"What about it?" I asked, curious as to why he suddenly thought of the new topic.

"You could do it of you wanted to. Be a pilot, I mean. You have the skills," He told me, but I scoffed. He wasn't in any way shape or form was making an ounce of sense at all.

"Speeder control races are a bit different from piloting fighters against the imperial troops don't you think?" I laughed at the idea, but he rolled his eyes, persistent with his opinion.

"It's less different than you think it is. Also mind you, I never saw you lose a race," He objected, but I wasn't having any of it.

"That's because when I raced, my own credits were on the line," I joked, seeing what he would try and come up with next, only to be met with a cold hard stare, before an answer that would shake me to my core.

"Well, now the freedom of the galaxy is on the line."

My smile dropped from my face and I turned to face the other two, who were looking back at me. They didn't expect that answer either. Shyloh was well known to be a boy of few words, and only really spoke to his friends and family. He was a founding just like the rest of them, but he had been with ths clan longer, due to having been saved from a war infested home as a baby.

He could sometimes be very wise, even if he didn't think he was being so. We weren't sure what it was, but he had this sort of presense that was so powerful. We knew when he would walk in a room, or walk out of it. It's like the air would change. Much like it changed now, with his words rendering us all speechless.

The silence was uncomfortable, and I was the one who left it unresloved, so I spoke up in favor of my crewmates to not keep quiet any longer.

"Perhaps I shall see where I am needed first."

"Perhaps you shouldn't be so afraid to explore an option you would excel in," He again rendered me speechless, and I did not have anything else to say this time. I was young, but my mind was not. I could comprehend thoughts the same way that an adult could. I could handle things just as well and if not better than some, too. He was right. I was simply afraid.

"I think we're finally here," Shyloh said, turning back to look out of the view port again.

"Its about time," Gander stood up, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and standing at the transport door waiting for it to slide up.

We all followed suit, but Shyloh stopped us and held up a warning finger to stay still.

"There's manding droids, we gotta sneak off carefully. They don't look like bulk but they could be armed," He suggested. We were not yet at the rebel base, meaning these were probably droids of the land, and belonged to whoever oversees the exports on this planet.

When the panel opened, we were all careful to first peek out of the transport. This planet was nothing at all like Mandalore, which was dry and hot. This planet was lush with plants. And the air was slightly humid. It was a very welcome contrast from where I spent most of my life.

We all sneakily bolted out of the transport, ducking down behind one of the cargo units placed outside. We saw an opening in what looked like some sort of forrest patch.

There was a chill in the air on this planet, even in the middle of the day. Mandalore only ever got colder at night, when the sun was down and the moons were shining.

"That was close." Merc mumbled as we began to turn around and head into the grasslands, trying to find the rebel base.

We made sure no one was behind us, and were careful to check if any droids had caught sight of us.

We all went to turn around, but as soon as I did, I collided with someone's chest, rather hard might I add, sending me to the ground on my bottom. I didn't even collide that hard with the person, it was just the shock that sent me backwards.

"Need a hand?" I looked up to see a man, a sly smirk on his face as he held his hand out towards me. I took it without question, heaving myself up from the grassy, and somewhat muddy ground beneath me.

"You must be our contact," Merc smiled, and the man nodded, turning and begining to lead us to a speader that was hovering nearby behind a large set of trees.

"We must be careful not to use names outside of the base. I would be more than happy to formally introduce myself once we reach our final destination," He chuckled. It was only now that I realized he had an accent, a thick one. Probably left over from his native tongue that spilled out his mouth when he spoke galactic basic.

I know that sometimes my accent slips in when i speak. I never had to worry about using Mando'a around my fellow crewmates. They were foundlings, and hadn't been raised to speak it. Shyloh was, but he prefered to use galactic basic anyways because he had forgotten so much of it.

We all boarded the speader, Gander and I sitting on the back, our legs hanging off as we held onto the side bars.

"This might be a bumpy ride for you two," The man said, looking at both of us before giving me a wink. I scrunched my face up, not sure how else to react to it. The man was definitely on the younger side, but I wasn't sure how he could possibly see an interest in me.

Maybe he did and I just didn't want him to. Maybe I was still hinged to the idea that I would go back to Mandalore someday and marry my betrothed. I was so young, and hadn't the slightest idea of what feelings I could possibly be harboring, if any at all.

I couldn't deny I found him appealing. Anyone would, at least any human with eyes that is.

His hair was dark, and so were his eyes. He had a bit of stubble along his jaw and above his lip. He was somewhat scruffy looking, but in a good way.

As the speeder went through the forresty stretch of pathway, I kept turning around to catch a glimpse of him. Each time I did I had to look away fast because Gander would give me weird stares.

I would play it off like I was simply taking in the view of the green planet around me, and he wouldn't seem to notice.

After a while, with quite a few twists and turns, and Gander and I nearly falling off the speeder twice, we arrived to our destination.

We all hopped out of the transport, following the man into a giant cargo port. As soon as I looked to my left I could see an X-wing fighter in all it's glory. I had never seen a real one before, just heard stories and viewed holograms.

"Alright. We have about twelve other recruits arriving on this base today, so you will all be attending orientation this evening. As for right now, you look beat, and should rest. PX-74 will assign you to your bunks," He said, gesturing to the droid before beginning to walk away with a nod, but I stopped him before he could take a step.

"Wait a minute... I believe I recall something about a formal introduction," I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted my weight, trying to give off the look of having as much confidence as I could muster. I was putting on a facade, possibly to make me seem more mature. I didn't know the real reason.

He smirked, raising an eyebrow as he scanned me up and down with his dark eyes.

"Cassian Andor," He smiled, then looking right back at me with questioning eyes. "And how about you... you got a name?"

"Y/n from clan Maldrix," I said, my confidence wavering a little when he looked at me the way that he did.

"She's a Mandalorian," Shyloh perked up, and I sent him a warning glare.

"Yeah, sixth generation," Merc added, his cocky smile pasted on his face for all to see and be annoyed by.

"A mandalorian? I've heard the stories but I haven't ever met one. Are you-?"

"I'm not," I cut him off before this got twisted into one big lie. "My mother and father are."

"Doesn't that make you one too?" Cassian furrowed his brow but his tone was somewhat joking and humorous.

"No, it does not," I wasn't harsh with the way my voice came out, but I was firm. Though I wasn't one of them, the mandalorians and all they stood for were very important to me.

"Mandalorian is not a race, it's a creed. Some of the best Mandalorians I ever had the pleasure of knowing didn't even have a bloodline from Mandalore. They were foundlings, like these three," I explained, laying out the facts so that there was no longer any confusion lingering, but now there was a tension that was thicker than the trees on this planet.

"Even still, she can fight just as good as any soldier taken the creed," Merc jumped in, trying to clear the air, and thankfully, it seemed to be working.

"She flies even better," Shyloh mentioned, and I swore I could kill him. He was just so pushy sometimes, even with his massive sense of wisdom.

"You fly?" This peaked Andor's interest, and immediately he seemed more engaged towards me.

"I'm not as good as they say I am," I admitted, but he shook his head.

"No, really... if you can fly we could really use you. We're putting together a team for an air raid that's set to happen about one month's time from now," He came up closer to me and stared me in the eye.

"I'm just a kid, I might really let you down," I joked, trying not to get too caught up in his eye contact. His eyes were much darker when you could see them closely.

"I tell you what, I can arrange for you to have time in the flight simulator after orientation. If we feel you would be an asset, we can add you to the strike team," He said, nodding along to his words. I understood that they might need backup, and if push came to shove, I could maneuver faster than any pilot back on Mandalore. I never lost a race, nor did I ever lose a bet.

"Okay."

I could tell I was blushing from the extra attention I was receiving. I wasn't so sure what about me was so enticing that I deserved it.

"I have to go now to pick up the other recruits from a drop station. I leave you in the capable hands of PX-74," He said, returning to his speeder and letting us be lead off into the base.

"There are only so many open bunks left. Two of you will share one, and the other two will be placed with bunk mates." The metalized voice of the PX unit was strong in our ears, and we all followed after him as we ventured into the long hallway at the end of the cargo port.

The droid stopped at a door about midway through the hall and opened it using the side panel on the wall, revealing a young man that seemed almost younger than me even.

"One of you will be staying here. Which will it be?" The droid asked, turning towards our small group.

"I'll take this one," Shyloh said, stepping forward into the bunk to meet his new roomate.

The boy looked a bit frightened at first, but because of Shyloh's powerful yet calming energy, he seemed to relax almost immediately.

He turned and smiled back at us, waving before the IG unit closed the door and kept us going.

He walked us down passed several more doors, maybe more than twenty, before he stopped at another one and opened it up.

Inside sat a young woman, her legs crossed as she sharpened a knife with a smirk on her face. She looked up and made eye contact with me first.

"I wondered how long it would be before they got someone else in here." Her voice was somewhat low and raspy, but it was kind of soothing in a way.

"One of you-" the IG unit began again, but I stopped him, stepping into the bunk with the girl inside.

"I'll take this one." I smiled at the two boys left before the door closed on my new bunk.

I moved to set my knapsack down on the bottom bunk, but my roomate stopped me.

"Bottom one's mine." She said, looking up from her sharpened knife again to inform me of the sleeping arrangements.

I instead threw my knapsack on the top bunk, trying to climb up into it, but failing miserably.

"You need a hand?" She chuckled, watching my lame attempts to swing my leg up high enough. The fact that there was no ladder should have tipped me off.

"I'll be okay, thanks," I laughed, keeping my attitude loose and positive, though this bunk bed was already causing unnecessary problems for me.

"If you say so," She chuckled again, seeing as I finally managed to haul myself up and onto the bed.

"First try," I joked, and she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. I think that we would be getting along, because no one ever laughed at my lame sense of humor.

I laid back, resting my arms behind my head and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"So, where are you from?" She piped up, not taking her eyes away from her previous knife. That thing must mean a lot to her.

"Mandalore," I let out, trying to get comfortable on this lumpy pad that was under my head.

"Actually?" She seemed surprised. Everyone had heard of the planet that the mandalorian tribes had resided upon, and usually they understood what kind of people the place would breed.

"Yeah. Left just in time. Tomorrow's my birthday," I shut my eyes continuing our converastion with one less sense. It didn't matter, though. I was still fully awake.

"What would you have had to do?" She pondered curiously, finally looking up towards the bunk in interest.

"Well, to put it short... tomorrow I would have had to swear my freedom away. No living being would ever be able to see my face again till the day I died," I laid it out plain and simple, and she seemed to understand.

"How old are you?" She asked, her trail of questions getting longer and longer.

"Sixteen tomorrow," I answered, feeling a bit more tired now that my eyes had been closed, and the lights in the bunk rooms were dim.

"You're just a baby," She scoffed. "How could they possibly expect you to make that choice so young?"

"It's just the way it's always been there. This is the way," I remembered. Those words used to be said to me nearly ten times a day, and now they only rung in my mind as a memory.

"That's insane. The people on your planet must be crazy to take an oath like that," She muttered.

"You would think so... the strangest part about it is that there are kids brought back as foundlings that take the creed without hesitation. They don't even belong to a bloodline, they just feel as though they have right to the creed as much as anyone else," I silently remembered Din for a moment. He was the bravest, strongest, most loyal Mandalorian I'd ever known. A foundling.

I began to get bitter at the thought of leaving him. He could have made things better for me if I had just given him a chance. I had to let my head get in the way. I needed to think about something else.

"What about you, huh? Where you from?" I asked, changing the subject as quickly and painlessly as possible.

"Alderaan. Born and raised," She said, getting up from the floor and dropping herself on the bottom bunk.

"You been a lot of places since then?" I asked, but she first let out a heavy sigh before speaking.

"Only too many to count," She said, settling herself on the bunk like I had done.

"Must be nice..." I muttered. Finally able to relax on this pathetic excuse for a bed pad. Of course I couldn't complain. I'm the one who chose the life of the rebellion, including their miserable bedding. "I've never been anywhere outside my home planet until now. I haven't even seen the entirety of my own planet."

"Most new comers are the same. They haven't been anywhere else, then they come here and its like we're moving non stop. Base to base, on just about every planet in this galaxy," She reassured. At least now I didn't feel so out of place.

"How long have you been stationed here?" I asked, unsure of how long I would get to adjust to things.

"A few months. It's likely we'll have to leave soon. There's rumors of the imperials knowing our location," She answered, rolling her eyes, thought I couldn't see from the top bunk.

"You're kidding," I scoffed. After just getting here, I might have to up and leave again. I'll have to learn to accept this new life, it's what I wanted.

"I wish I was, kid," She added.

"I have a name," I retorted back, not a fan of the nickname 'kid'. I waited for her to ask me what it was, but when she stayed silent I sighed. "It's Y/n."

"I'll call you what you are... now get some rest, they'll come pounding on that door in a few hours for orientation," She said, as though she somehow had grown to a habit of mothering me only five minutes after we met. I dropped the conversation and drifted off to sleep, my eyes were too heavy to keep open anymore anyway.

.

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A/n: okay so like i wrote this a while before everything with gina carano happened and i do not in any way condone her whatsoever so let's pretend she's been recast already...

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

prologue 

a/n: this prologue just has a lot of information needed to continue the series, but i hope you enjoy!! (also the gif is a visual of what the dismount mentioned is, in the gif it’s only a triple)

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys​ @sortagaysortahigh​ @hockey-racing-fubol​

warnings: mention and description of injury (very brief), sadness, pretty angsty ngl, but there’s happiness in here too 

sticking it masterlist

wc: 2.6k

(gif not mine)

From the first time you stepped into a gym at the age of 3 to now, standing in this arena, you knew this was the place you were intended to be. You quickly leveled up in the sport of gymnastics and quickly excelled in the sport. Although there were many hardships - both mentally and physically - along the way, you never wanted to stop. Your one and only love was this sport, always has been. Always will be. 

As you progressed in your gymnastics career, your first coach, Michelle Watson, saw great promise in you and wanted to help you move up to where she knew you could go. Her brother had an elite gym in Philadelphia and he was willing to train you, so you and Michelle moved to Philadelphia to get you the best training possible. Your family was close enough with Michelle to know that you were in good hands.

 Working with the duo of Michelle and Marcus proved to be one of the best decisions of your life as you quickly became one of the top athletes in your sport. Eventually, you moved up to elite, which meant that you were in the division that would go to the biggest types of competitions in this sport. The biggest competitions with the toughest competition.

With the Olympics fastly approaching, it was the only thing on people’s minds. Even with there still being 15 months until Trials actually started, every meet from now on counted. Having to get a certain all-around score to qualify for the next meet, every skill counted. Even the smallest of deductions could set you apart from the group that qualifies and the group that doesn’t. 

Your family supported all your decisions, but especially your cousin, Kevin. He was undeniably marked as your top supporter, he never once doubted that you would be able to make it to the Olympics one day and he knew that you would go through hell to get there if you needed to. When Kevin went to the Flyers, he happened to get an apartment in the same building that you did, which was also close to your gym and his rink. 

Kevin was able to support you and be there for you just when you needed someone. Whenever you had the time from the season, you were able to go watch some of his games and meet his teammates, who were just as supportive of you as he was. There were more times than none that you would end a showcase or meet and have at least five hockey players waiting for you with a bouquet of roses and a good job. 

Kevin was always there with a good job hug and your favorite kind of fruit snacks, TK and Karly with a simple bouquet of roses, and then Nolan with his pep and smack talk on the other girls competing. 

Your teammates were always there right beside you. You made some of the best friends from gymnastics (and some of the worst enemies), Nicole Carter was the teammate that you were closest with. Always making jokes about both of you would have an equal amount of silver and gold medals to add to your collection. 

Now here you were at the American Cup, which wasn’t the most important meet of the lineup to Tokyo, but you had to keep a watch out for competitors and make sure that you caught people’s eye when competing. During warm-up you did make sure to talk to some of the girls, not everyone was able to have a close teammate, so you wanted them to know that someone there was rooting for them. You were always a team player, even in such an individual sport like this, except for Kathryn Davis. 

Kathryn Davis had always been one of your closest competitors, you weren’t going to say you were the best out there - you weren’t - but at least you kept a good attitude about how well others were doing. Kathryn was not like that, if you were her competition in any way, she would drag you as quick as she could. Starting rumors, talking bad about you during interviews, or distracting you before your routines were her go-to ways of getting to you and there were many occasions where you had to calm down one of the other athletes because of something she did.

Today you weren’t letting anyone get in your way. Although it was a minor meet, there was still a lot on the line. The plan for your beam routine was to bring out a new skill that had never been landed in major competition, a wack plan? Maybe. But since it was a smaller meet if you didn’t land it, the score wouldn’t affect you as much. Your plan was to go through your routine and do a 3.5 twisting dismount, the highest competed had only been a triple twisting dismount, so if you did land it today the skill would be named after you. 

With the event lineup for the meet going vault, bars, beam, then floor, you were starting on floor and ending on beam. Going into auto-pilot for the first three events, you didn’t take note of your scores and you hardly even realized that you were getting ready to salute the judges on beam. Taking a deep breath before you mounted the beam, you started your routine. 

The core parts of a beam routine were flight series - where you got at least some air time in whatever skill you were doing, jumps, turns, dance, and the dismount. When all three of your flight series were landed and you finished your jumps and turns, you were ready for the dismount. 

Taking a few steps to do the round-off, you were now at the end of the beam and could do the twisting part of the dismount. Taking off you started twisting, keeping an eye out for the mat (even if it is a blind landing), you started opening up from the twist to make the landing. The only issue was it was obvious you didn’t get enough height, so the mat was closer than it had been whenever you had practiced many times before, and because of that you landed a triple twist while still turning. 

You knew immediately something was wrong, the popping noise that you weren’t supposed to hear was kind of a dead giveaway, but you turned and saluted the judges like usual, and as you took a step, all the pain from whatever you had just done came to your leg causing you to curl up into a ball holding your knee. 

You could hear Marcus and Michelle becoming louder, but the pain in your knee somehow drowned out everything around you. There was commotion all around you and you felt Marcus reach under your leg to carry you back down, away from the beam. Eventually medical got to you and you were ushered away in a wheelchair towards the ambulance. 

“y/n, look at me, okay? It’s going to be alright, we’re getting you to the hospital and then we’ll get everything figured out,” Michelle said, holding your hand as you were taken towards the Emergency Room. 

“I need you to call Kev, please,” you assumed Kevin had heard what had happened and you didn’t want to stress him even more since you knew he had been at a game and probably heard while he was there. 

“I will, hun, I will,” the doctors got you in a hospital room where they would do what they could right now. With the pain meds, you were able to ignore the pain for a while. Your mom had called you from back home to check in while you waited on Kevin to show up to the hospital. 

“Hey, short stack, you doing alright?” Kevin said as he walked into the hospital room, you took note of TK and Nolan behind him. 

“You only call me short stack because you’re literally a giant,” you giggled, “hey, Tiki Bar. Hi, Patti Lapone.”

“Can I get whatever she’s having?” Nolan interrupted. The three of them stayed in your room as you waited for the doctor to come back with more information about the scans and tests that they ran. The boys were mostly enjoying the fact that you were giggling the whole time, but they were just glad that you weren’t in pain about what was going on. When some of your giggling died down, they realized that eventually you would have to terms with what happened. Kevin knew that you might not come back from this one as easily as you hope to, he had seen so many peoples careers end this way. He didn’t want you to have to go through that. 

“y/n y/l/n, hi, I’m Dr. Brady and we needed to consult you about the results from the scans. Are you sure you want everyone in here when you hear?” Dr. Brady asked cautiously, knowing this was not easy news to break. 

“Yeah, they’re fine in here,” you nodded taking note of how Kevin had walked over to the side of your bed, anxiously waiting to see your reaction rather than whatever the results were. 

“Ok, well with the injury you got today, you will need surgery as soon as possible, which will be in about three weeks. From there it will be 6-9 months of recovery, which includes physical therapy and mobility work, the time will depend on what your physical therapist decides is best-”

“Wait, so I’ll be out for like 10 months?” you asked.

“Yes, could be more, could be less. It really depends.”

“So, when do you think I could consider going back to training?” the air in the room felt tense, you were the one out of the loop here. Everyone around you already knew what was going to happen and that you coming back might not be an option. 

“It would all depend on what your trainer thinks is best right now and there is no guarantee you will be back to your old self after the surgery,” the doctor said with a solemn look on his face, as he was the one who had to break the news. 

“Um, ok. Yeah. When would I be able to go home?” you quickly jumped to the next topic of discussion, which Kevin was shocked about, as were Nolan and Travis. 

“Well, we have to get you pain meds, crutches, and a brace, but once we do that we’ll be able to discharge you. Okay?” you simply nodded. The room went silent as you Dr. Brady walked out. 

“y/n/n? You okay, hun?” Michelle said quietly, getting more nervous when you simply nodded. 

“Yeah, I just want to go home.” 

Kevin, TK, and Nolan knew that you weren’t okay, so they all decided to take you home and make sure you got everything situated while having to deal with this. Finally making it to your apartment after being discharged, you decided to try and take a shower, which proved to be difficult, so you just left the issue for tomorrow. Changing out of your competition leo and into comfortable pajamas, you made your way back out to the kitchen where the guys were talking. 

“Kevin said he plans on staying here just in case you need anything, but if you want us all to stay we definitely can,” Travis said when he saw you walk into the room. 

“Oh, if you guys want to, it's cool with me, I’m fine either way. I just plan on going to bed right now. So goodnight, I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow,” giving them a soft smile before making your way back towards your room. 

Going into your bedroom was already bound to be a difficult task. Although the room was simple, a lot of the things that you had on your wall were from gymnastics, pictures from gymnastics meets, medals and trophies littered your room in a way that usually lifted your spirits up. But walking into your room using crutches and the knee brace keeping your knee secure made you hate everything in the room at that moment. 

Knocking over your crutches, you ripped down a poster that had your schedule for the next season leading up to Trials, the picture of you and your teammates was next, finally the goal board you made when you were 10 came tumbling down to the ground, the trophies that you had spent such a long time working for were in the process of being thrown across the room when a pair of arms quickly pulled you into their chest. 

You didn’t notice that the guys had rushed into your room or that your vision was now clouded from the tears, but everything hit you at once. As Kevin held you, you simply sobbed into his chest. The dreams that you had worked so hard for were now crumbling down. You realized that all the time and hard work you had invested would have nothing to show for it. 

Eventually Kevin realized you had stopped crying and he looked down to realize that you had fallen asleep. He gently picked you up and put you in your bed, leaving your crutches right by your bed, so if you needed them you could get them. 

“Do you guys mind helping me pick up everything? She’ll regret it if we don’t,” Kevin asked the two boys in front of him who were very happy to help. All of them were glad that they had the day off and planned on staying here and doing what they could to help you out later. 

You anxiously waited the few weeks before you had to get the surgery, you hardly left your room and when you did, you went right back to your room. Everyone wanted to give you time to grieve and accept the possibility that you might not have a comeback. But once you had your surgery, you actually had to go to physical therapy.

Physical therapy was awful the first month. You genuinely felt bad for Adrian, your PT, for having to deal with you. He obviously had to put up with a lot of negative energy and you just added it to it. “You know, I am aware that you were an athlete. I’m going to assume every doctor has said you won’t make a comeback?” he paused waiting for your response, and once you nodded he continued. “Ok, well I can’t promise anything, but once you actually start working, this won’t necessarily get easier, but you accept it. Now if you’re constantly dwelling on how ‘your dreams are crushed and you’ll never be the gymnast you once were’ then that is exactly what will happen.” 

“Yeah, but-”

“Nope, no buts. You got hurt. It happens. But you already accepting that as the loss of a sport you love so much will not cut it in my book. That energy is not needed, especially if you ever want to go back. Now either accept the worst and get this over with as soon as possible, or actually start working towards your dream again. Those doctors try not to give people false hope, but y/n, you have to realize I know you have it in you to go back there and prove them all wrong. And if you’re doing this just to spite them, then so be it. Let’s get to work now.”

And you did get back to work. 

You were able to start light conditioning about 5 months after and were able to start doing basics 2 months later. “Ok, y/n, I’m going to be straightforward with you, your knee is looking better. But don’t do anything too crazy to where that changes. So the plan now is to start easing back into training, no big skills, no big landings. But you can start working. And I know about a certain meet in March that will be your comeback meet, I’m telling you now.” 

[itsclydebitches]

ngl voyager gets a whole lot of very disproportional hate from the fandom and i'd hazard a guess that a lot of that is just garden-variety misogyny (and probably racism mixed in, considering how many of the most prominent characters are women, poc, or both). like, is voyager perfect? absolutely not. and no spoilers but there was a lot of executive meddling that wound up leading to the finale/conclusion being lacking and there's a lot of reasonable dissatisfaction with that--but again that was largely thanks to the execs fucking the show over and i recommend looking into that if you can once you've finished the show. but overall? voyager is trek right to its very core--it has heart, it's about family, and it never loses sight of that imo, even if some episodes are weaker or just duds (but, like, would it be a trek series without some episodes that just kinda suck but are still fun to watch???)

anyway, i absolutely love that you're getting into voyager, it is my all-time favorite trek series to this day for a lot of reasons, and i hope that ppl like that anon dont put you off bc i'd love to continue to see your thoughts as you watch the series!

Oh, it would take a whole lot more than some anons being salty that others enjoy things to turn me off :D 

Thus far (I lost internet last night so I’m still only on Episode 7 of Season 2), Voyager is the Trekiest Trek I’ve watched. Which is a weird sentence, but I mean it in the way you said it’s “trek right to its very core.” What is Star Trek, if we strip the intent of the story down to its basics? It’s about exploration, discovery, that “wagon train to the stars,” wrapped up in the argument that life is fundamentally good. We have problems, but we can work past them. We have differences, but they strengthen us. Diversity is the lifeblood of the universe and the future will continue to improve so long as we embrace that. 

Voyager is (again, from what I’ve seen so far!) basically a love song to that premise. I didn’t do too deep a dive because I’m trying to avoid spoilers, but I did look at a couple threads discussing why Voyager is so hated. Again and again I saw the same reason pop up: wasted potential. Now, a lot of fans left it at that (as if the answer to what potential Voyager apparently missed out on is self-evident. It’s not), but those who did expand on the idea consistently claimed that the show needed to be darker than it was, even if they rarely said it like that. Why aren’t the Federation and the Marquis at each other’s throats? Why isn’t the crew going crazy under these circumstances? Why aren’t characters getting killed off left and right in hostile space? “Anything could have happened out there and they played it safe!” but the “anything” here is always... awful. There’s this very pervasive idea that the world is inherently cruel, people are inherently divisive, that when pushed to the brink everything will fall apart... and that (while making for one kind of great story) is very much not Star Trek. 

See, Voyager created an unimaginable scenario--lost in space, 75 years from home, forced to live indefinitely with strangers--and their answer to the question of “What happens?” is “People make it work.” They learn to respect one another, they uphold their ideals, they maintain a love of life and discovery, and they create a family. And that’s fucking fantastic. That’s Star Trek! I’m not going to pretend there aren’t problems with the show, with plenty more to come, I’m sure, but I don’t think this is one of them. Why do so many viewers think that hatred, horror, death, and growing jaded is the only potential here? Why would they expect that in a Star Trek show whose premise is the very antithesis of those things? 

“But they don’t do enough with those things, even if they have happy outcomes.” They do plenty, they just do it in an episodic rather than serialized nature. I can point to multiple episodes where the replicator rations or Maquis differences are driving the characters’ actions. “But without that horror there’s no conflict.” There’s plenty of conflict. Hostile aliens aside, I just watched an episode where Tuvok and Chakotay are pissed as hell at one another because they fundamentally disagree over how to handle problems, but--because they’re adults with a well-tested respect for one another--they apologize and work through it. “But the characters don’t develop at all.” You mean they don’t grow harder. That’s not the same thing as no development. Tuvok is figuring out how to be more flexible, Chakotay is becoming more willing to accept cultures he doesn’t agree with, Harry is growing more confident now that he’s far from home, the Doctor is learning to see himself as a person, Paris is grabbing his second chance with both hands by making strong ties, and Janeway is learning to command and care for her crew simultaneously. I honestly believe that a lot of people think of “character development” as the character becoming a fundamentally different person, unrecognizable from where they started out. But  characters can also grow into the people they wanted to be in the first place. “We’re far from home, in hostile territory, tempted to do horrific things to survive... but no. Right now at least, we’re holding onto who we are. We’re scientists, so we’re going to explore and learn. We’re peaceful, so we’re going to make friends with as many species as we can. We’re members of a society that teaches acceptance, so we’re going to form a family on this spaceship.” That’s incredible!! Did fans miss why Seska was an antagonist in the episode she was unmasked? Because she was trying to convince them to give up everything they believe in in the name of survival, an ends justify the means argument. And the crew said no, we will not give up what we believe in just to make it through. I legit saw a ton of fans saying some version of, “I can’t believe they were that far from home and actually followed Starfleet’s rulebook.” It’s because those rules don’t exist for the hell of it. Overlooking their practical function, they’re a philosophy that the characters believe in, and they’re figuring out how important that part of their identity is to them under these circumstances. Am I willing to steal a specie’s technology if it gets us home? Am I willing to die to help another uphold their own philosophy? (Chakotay in “Imitations”). What regulations should we bend or change to accommodate our new situation? The first two things Janeway does are a) giving the guy who just came out of a penal colony a rank and b) deciding that she needs to be more familiar with her crew than is normally encouraged for a captain because she’s essentially their mom now. Developing doesn’t have to mean characters do a 180 on their initial personality, or characters getting killed off when stuff gets “boring” so that others can do edgy things in response. 

Voyager upholds Trek’s premise and runs it to its logical conclusion: 

Voyager has the most literal trek--a trek back home. 

Voyager has the most diverse crew--a woman Captain, Native American First officer, black Vulcan, Asian-American communications officer, and a White Dude pilot that realizes he wants to be soft and kind towards those who took a chance on him because Toxic Masculinity who? 

Voyager has the most literal family--not just a 5+ year mission, but a crew who expects to raise the next generation. They have no choice but to work together, so they indeed come together rather than pulling apart

Except they do, of course, have a choice. In “The 37′s” the crew is allowed to stay on the Earth-like planet with a city of other humans and Janeway is convinced that a sizable number will choose that. After all, they may never get home and this is a safer, kinder future for them. In fact, the real question is whether so many will stay that they can no longer run the ship... but Janeway would never dictate her crew’s choices in that manner. So she swallows her worry down, opens the door... 

... and finds that not a single person decided to stay behind. And the show has ensured we understand that this is not just because they all have some unshakable belief that they’ll get home (many don’t), but because this is their family now. This is home. 

And fans want to toss that out for a generic, gritty, sci-fi adventure where hope is scarce, the universe is cruel, and people need to be pushed to the limit just to admit that they maybe, sort of, like each other?? Obviously like what you like, but that’s a hard pass for me. I’ll take the bridge crew comforting each other in “Twisted,” thanks. Besides, we already have shows like that. And we already have DS9 which grapples with many of those dark, pessimistic themes. Voyager feels like a breath of fresh air, even within the breath of fresh air that is Star Trek as a franchise. It’s a show that says, “Yes, when everything goes wrong people will come together. They will love each other. They will make it through.” 

What’s more Star Trek than that? 

[lizacstuff]

Can’t wait to read you thoughts on this episode. Eda and Serkan are getting engaged! ngl seeing the rings did something to me, I haven’t recovered yet.

I KNOW!!!!! I missed the rings so much. When folks were upset during the filming of 20 when it became apparent he wasn't wearing the ring anymore, I remember saying that they have to take them off so they can put them back on for real, and it will be oh so sweet when they do. Flashforward six weeks and YES!!!! Just seeing those rings again is sweet we're going to die when they actually slip them on during the next episode. I'm not attached to any of my own jewelry the way I'm attached to their rings, lmao.

As a whole this episode was very enjoyable for me.  The new writers clearly realized they needed a mood change after episode 25, and I was thrilled to see the show return to its roots. The tone felt more like the first batch of episodes than any in recent memory. What a relief. Also I've said prior to this that I suspected that where we would feel Ayse's absence was in the humor and lack of sparkle.  Well I thought this episode had plenty of both, so I stand corrected. The first Edser scene with Serkan gliding by Eda without saying a word and then having his trusty sidekick Leyla keep an eye on what they were doing outside set the light comedic tone and put everything on the right footing from the get go. 

More later on Edser, let's start with all the nonsense they use to fill the rest of the 2+ hours. 

(continue under the read more)

What in the frack is Babaanne's endgame?  Does she have one?  Is it to take revenge on Serkan? To get Eda back in her orbit? Or just to cause chaos? Or is she testing them? Not sure. 

I enjoyed the scene between mom and son, Aydan and Serkan's relationship has really become one of the best on the show, certainly better than recent Eda/Ayfer.  Which is interesting, because in the pilot they established that while Serkan may be rich with material things, he was lacking in love and emotional familial support, while Eda was poor in regards to material things, but was surrounded by love in the form of her family/friends. Though perhaps one of the greatest gifts Eda's given Serkan is an improved relationship with his mother, and the impetus to distance himself from his unloving father. While Serkan has inspired her growing independence from her aunt. 

Speaking of them, let's move on to Aydan and Ayfer. PLEASE MADE THIS CHEF NONSENSE END! Good grief. I really don't enjoy watching these two ladies making total asses of themselves over this douche. Both of them trying to catch him on his jog and then going along with his aikido nonsense. It feels like he's just playing with them for his own amusement. Both deserve better and I don't even like Ayfer. Also if my boss gave me a single red rose for being employee of the month, I'd find that both creepy and hella disappointing (crash prizes please.) 

Meanwhile Ayfer is still testing my last nerve. When Aydan and Seyfi show up and inform her that they've found out that Serkan and Eda broke up and she responds with, "Were they even together to break up?" I wanted to slap her upside the head. Whatever official relationship status Eda and Serkan have, they have been connected and in a romantic relationship this entire time. The bit of time jump at the start of 15 before she goes back to work for Efe, is really the only section of time since they've met where they weren't in a relationship. And while Eda isn't all that forthcoming with Ayfer when it comes to Serkan, she hasn't really hidden it well. It was at Ayfer's birthday when they were on the ice together being very romantic, Ayfer was at Aydan's 70s party and could very well see Eda and Serkan attached at the hip all night and wound around one another intimately slow dancing, Ayfer knows Eda spent the night at Serkan's when she left because of Babaanne, Ayfer was at the NY party and saw them together there. Not to mention Ayfer knows Serkan saved her business and why, she knows Serkan was still wearing his ring, and she knows Eda looked completely shattered over leaving Serkan as Ayfer heartlessly reacted with glee in the last episode. 

So asking "were they even together" just completely diminishes what Eda is currently going through, as if parting with him is no big deal because there was nothing there to begin with, when she knows better. When she's seen it with her own two eyes. Seriously.. fuck her. Every other character who is a friend of Eda and Serkan all know that they're a unit. I don't even feel bad that she came to ArtLife to beg for Eda's company, but Eda ended up blowing her off. Surprising Serkan with a proposal was a much better use of her time.

Engin and Piril, yeeesh, I feel for Piril, trying to put off this meeting. I'm sure she's thinking it's for Engin's own good, but her flipping into total bitch mode when they're newlyweds... not great. Not an auspicious start to the marriage. Even if she wants to keep Engin away from her father, she ought to confide in Engin and tell him why she's freaked. I'm assuming we'll get more of that in the next episode since Engin is looking rough in those promo stills. 

My favorite side plot was probably Grandog's henchman's (what is his name?) crush on Melo. Melo deserves to be crushed on, and I love that she is so uninterested that she doesn't see it.  Much more fun to have him chasing her, and her being oblivious. Poor Leyla, trying in vain to get his attention when he only has eyes for Melo. Enjoyed that Melo and Leyla made the agreement that Melo would help Leyla get the dude and Leyla would help get rid of Erdem. I'm looking forward to see where this goes. 

Ceren and Ferit... were there too. 

Now onto the A story (and let's be real the only one that matters) Eda and Serkan. Obviously 25 left us off in a very sad, heartbroken place. I'm not sure what decisions were made, when or why, but at some point TPTB decided they needed to get back to their roots and thank goodness. Episode 25 was just so dark, Eda was miserable the entire episode, as was Serkan, and that's not fun to watch for 2 hours. The way they handled them here is much better. 

I know some feel the tone shift was too much. To that I would say, it was so dark in ep 25, I'm happy to do a 180, no matter the reason, to get back to a place where watching is fun, and also I think of the breakup as Eda throwing the breaks on a runaway train and once she did, and she was sure the train was stopped at least for the time being, then she could take a moment, reassess the situation and potentially decide it wasn’t as dire as she thought. In the last episode, every moment Eda delayed giving that old bitty what she wanted, something catastrophic befell Serkan, his business, or his family. The pressure mounted, the stakes were high and in the end she had to do whatever was necessary to stop Babaanne's assault on Serkan. 

This episode we saw her catch her breath and then formulate a plan. I think a tone shift fits with that. Of course she feels lighter knowing that even though she hurt Serkan, he's protected for the moment. Now that that's taken care of, she's ready for next steps. So it works that the next morning we see her telling Melo and Ceren that she's not going to give up Serkan, and outlining her plan around getting close to Babaanne in order to get something on her. Good girl!  

As I said above, I just adored that first scene outside ArtLife. The girls gathered around, trying to warn Eda that Serkan was coming, and then his walk by where he KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING when he got right up in Eda's business without even looking at her.  He knows what makes her weak in the knees. And I love that Serkan decided to play it like this. HE KNOWS. He knows she loves him, he knows there's more to the breakup, and he knows how to deal with it. Drive her crazy until she cracks and tells him everything. OR drive her crazy until they end in a passionate, possessive sex explosion. One or the other.  

Quick poll, who didn't love watching Serkan take back the reigns of his company? This gal did. YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS. Alpha Serkan is back. Kick the old bag's throne to the curb. Kick the old bag's creepy client to the curb. Now we just have to kick the old bag and her deranged, obsessed sidekick to the curb as well.  But for now, I loved seeing him at the end of the table, making decisions, not brooking opposition. The team squabbling over his decision, but he just sits back, unbothered. Total power move. I appreciate Ferit questioning the decision, questioning it is the right thing to do in his position, but he may have gotten a little too pissy about it. Dude, this entire company IS Serkan. The success of the company is due to his talent, his vision, his business acumen. I get they're all worried he's making a decision because of Eda, but he's got a proven track record of, you know, being right, so there's no reason to get shirty. If Serkan doesn't want to work with someone, his instinct is probably on target.

Eda getting Babaanne to stand down warmed me from the inside out. I find it interesting that she used the argument that they were pushing him too hard and he didn't deserve it, and Babaanne bought it. For one I think Eda was worried Serkan was going to snap and do something that might start Babs' Bolat revenge cycle again. For two, she just wants the love of her life to win and be calm. However, if anyone in that room didn't catch onto what happened there, that Eda and BigB leave and then come back a minute later and BigB has done a 180, I question their competence. *cough* Ferit *cough* He's just not the sharpest tool in the shed. However, obviously, Serkan knew. 

On another note, they've gotten pretty murky with the line between ArtLife and the holding.  Babaanne has 45% of the Holding, not ArtLife. Ferit has 5% of the holding, not ArtLife. So which company was working with the Prince?  Since it was a project to design a house, seems like that should be ArtLife? But Babs and Ferit seemed to think they had a vote which they shouldn't if it's ArtLife.  Who knows... whatever. 

Have you ever seen anything cuter than Eda in her coat and boots and protective helmet, leaning over, clutching her chest, exhausted after climbing all those stairs?  I mean she's an adorable bean just bent over and huffing and puffing, but the fact that she just climbed up goodness knows how many flights of stairs (judging by that view, an impossible number, but we'll allow it) just to see Serkan?  We giggle at her excuse that she did that because he gave her too much work. Eda, he's not going to buy that, luckily none of us want him to buy it. These two, they can't stay away from each other. Ever. She was also probably worried after the foreman told her he'd been up there for hours. Again, I think she's concerned that she's pushed him too far. So now she's in Serkan's shoes after the first breakup. Navigating that push pull of wanting to be with him, but sticking to the decision to end it for his sake. 

It's nice to see that her claustrophobia was not "cured" after going up in the elevator with Serkan one-time. On her own, she's still not able to face it. I'm sure she could do it again with him, but there's more work to be done before she can face it without him. 

Serkan was surprisingly vulnerable in both his conversation with Engin and with Eda on the top of that skyscraper. Even just telling Engin he was too out of sorts to join him for lunch, tells us that while he knows what he's doing, he knows there's more to the story, but he's still hurting and unsettled after the breakup. Then, "I create to make people happy, but I myself can't be happy. It's strange." Oh Serkan. I think you ripped my heart out with that... Eda's too. 

Eda was so discombobulated by Serkan's attitude. Whatever she expected from him, his acceptance of the break up, wasn't it. His proposal that they be "friends" threw her and she looked so distressed when he said, "Everyone will live their own life." Alarm bells started going off for her, much as they did for him at the top of ep 19 when Eda said she was going to start living her life. She did NOT like the idea of Serkan Bolat out there living a life that didn't include her, lmao. 

It's crazy to me that Eda has a friend like Fifi, who probably breaks and enters for a living, and yet she chooses Melo for a clandestine operation. Come on, Eda, you got to choose the right person for the job, lmao. I also question Eda's choice of cat burglar wardrobe. Seemed a bit... restricting and flashy. Though her skin-tight, snakeskin breaking-and-entering dress and fashionable trespassing boots did make it easier to transition to fine dining and driving your man towards rambunctious breakup/makeup/jealousy sex.  Not much to say about the restaurant scenes. The prince is creepy af, and was that the most awkward dance.... ever? The looks back and forth between Edser were excellent, so much tension and longing and jealousy. But boy is it hard to watch a scene with Balca in it, ugh she makes my skin crawl and I don’t even like looking at her. Also the deliberate way the actress has chosen to speak is irritating. Anyway, we now know Balca is pretty much capable of anything, if she’s capable of essentially poisoning the man she thinks she loves. Yikes. Did Nana realize that Balca poisoned him? I have to believe she did, because him being sick seemed part of the plan. THEY'RE ALL FULL EVIL!!! .

One thing I don't believe is that Eda Yildiz would ever walk out of that restaurant with Serkan looking that bad. No way she leaves him to Balca's care, or anyone else's for that matter. Nope, regardless of who was watching she would have insisted on taking him to the doctor herself.  But I get they were setting up the plot, so they sacrificed that bit. 

These villains are really bad at driving a wedge between two people who love each other. AngryGran is all like, "I know a foolproof plan, let's put them in the same room and get 'em all riled up with jealousy, then make Serkan sick so Eda's worried, then I'll convince her to go check on him and let's see what happens!" LMAO. Cheers to you, dumbasses, you brought us a whole heaping plate full of S.E.X. They were really banking that Eda was going to fly off the handle and think that Serkan went from an allergic reaction to sexing up the new obsessed employee very quickly. It's great that they all underestimate Eda and Serkan's relationship and connection, that should continue to help Edser as long as these fools continue to meddle. 

Eda was, wait for it, LEGENDARY, in her smackdown of Balca. QUEEEEEEEN. I'll never be over the, "You can only be with a statue of Serkan, darling." BWAHAHAHAHA. Yes! Throw her creepy, inappropriate present back in her face. And Balca's gall asking Eda to leave and then continually lecture Eda that they'd broken up. That takes either big cajones or huge helpings of delusion, because Balca has very little information when it comes to their relationship, yet she's playing her hand like she knows it all and like she doesn't care what gets back to Serkan. However, got to hand it to Balca for keeping her composure once Eda saw through her little staged production, because her story was painfully weak. Let's say for real that you're at your boss's house, the boss is sick so you're hanging around downstairs by yourself just to make sure everything is okay. What's the problem with just... you know... wearing your outfit with a coffee stain?  Unless you had a massive big gulp sized coffee and poured it over your head, why even change? Don't you just... live with the stain? It's not like you're making a presentation to the board of directors in 5 minutes.  For the love of god you're sitting there and no one else is around. Weak alibi.  

Poor Serkan, he's just there trying to sleep off having his allergies maliciously triggered, and he completely misses out on the love of his life fighting for him downstairs. Oh how he would have loved to see that. But oh what a way to wake up, with Eda Yildiz standing over him, looking magnificent, and rousing him with a scolding tone. I've already talked about how HOT the jealousy and possessiveness was here, so I'll focus on the scene itself. 

Let’s talk about the fragman first. Due to the short production timeline of this show, when they create a trailer they're doing it from the dailies, not from the show itself. That part of the show usually hasn't even been edited yet so the fragman exists before the episode. That means often there are scenes or angles that appear in the fragman, but not in the episode. It happened bigtime with the shower scene in 19, it happened randomly with the fragman for 20, they showed that really great shot of heartbroken Serkan in red, but didn't show the full thing in the episode, (when giffing it I had to use the fragman) and here, several of the best shots of Eda and Serkan ripping each other's clothes off were in the fragman and didn't make the episode. We can live with it for a lonely Serkan shot, but it's quite a bait and switch in this instance. Especially when pretty much every member of the cast (except Hande, Kerem didn't post anything either, but he did appear in that IGlive where the cast mercilessly teased him about it) promoted the scene. Not cool. I realize that they're dealing with sensors and may have had to cut things in order to avoid fines and such, but then they probably should have found a way to release the uncut scene on the internet as I've read other Turkish shows have done and like they did with episode 13. If you're gonna put something like this in the fragman to entice viewers, and have the cast promote it, you need to be willing to deliver. Badly done on the part of both Fox and MF Yapim.

That being said, one of the great things about the tighter restrictions this show has to adhere to, is they really show the intimacy instead. On an American show, these characters would have started eating each other's faces off and then tumbled into bed. There is something very hot, though, about them just invading each other's space, breathing each other's scent, nose to nose, nose to neck, nose to cheek... without breaching. Plus we got to see him carry her to the bed... even if they darkened it to the point you can barely see. I saw enough. HOT. The scene was short, but more tantalizing than lots of love scenes I've seen.

I was sad she left while he still slept in the morning. For him not to feel her get out of bed, she must have worn him out! It really would have been nice to see them wake up together, but I'm sure that will come. Plus it gave us the tension filled scene in the office. The knocked over lamp in the background was a delicious detail. Things got rambunctious! I'm glad Eda got to return the sentiment that only she can touch him, if only Serkan had heard it! Another thing that would have made him so happy if only he knew about it.

Melo is all of us upon learning about their night of passion. She's a whole cheerleader for them, and I love it. 

The post-sex scenes at the office were amazing. For several seconds I thought that he really did think it was a dream. Panic started to set in until she admitted she'd had it too. Phew. No hiding for Eda. I'm glad he flirted, instead of getting offended, and that she was at least honest about there being something she needed to do before they could really be together. Eda also handled the office conversation with Balca well. Love that she didn't show any reaction to her claim about Paris, just wished her a good trip. I felt that deep breath she took before going into his office. Yes, girl, calm down before you march in and accuse him of something, good thing he immediately invited her. I just about melted at, "I don't want to argue... you're precious to me." Serkan is gradually learning how to head off her fits of pique. 

The proposal... I... just... okay... my heart... I need a minute... still not over it. 

It was perfect. She made a surprise for him!!!!  After he asked her for a surprise a few episodes ago she did it and surpassed even his wildest dreams. It was quite a surprise for us too! Thank you for not spoiling it, show!  Serkan has told Eda he loves her about 3 dozen different ways, he's made it clear how he feels and what he wants ("Eda Bolat, sounds nice."). There is no doubt that he was ready to propose the moment he felt she'd be receptive, so it was wonderful that she threw caution to the wind and did it. Both Serkan and the audience needed to see exactly how much she loves him, and this was a wonderful way to do that. It's pretty much the biggest thing she could have done.  Also for those of us in other parts of the world (I'm in the US) it might not be too out of the ordinary for a woman to propose, but from what I understand it's rare and possibly non-existent on Turkish shows. That's pretty cool.

Did you see his face!?!? He was so happy at first when he registered that she was actually standing in front of him and then just totally gobsmacked when he saw the rings and realized what was happening. As for Eda, she was just glowing. GLOWING. And don't even get me started on the plane. That trip on the day after they met is such an important part of their love story and the call back here is wonderful. The first time around he thought she was there for him, this time he can't believe that she's there for him.  

Can't wait to see the way the full conversation/proposal plays out, do ya'll think he'll say yes? (hee)

[mortallydeliciouschaos]

Highlights of 2020

I was tagged by @maddiesup, thank you so much! I’m so glad you though of me! Quickly before it’s 00:00 where I live lol

list your top 10 shows (bl or not) you watched in 2020 (doesn’t necessarily have to be shows that came out in 2020 though!)

tag at least 10 people you appreciated this year

tag 10 more people to continue the tag

Let’s do this y’all!

Top 10 shows

1. #GayaSaPelikula (Like in the movies)

Ngl, it’s one of the best shows I’ve watched this year. The struggle of coming out and ofcourse the struggle of finding yourself was beautifully displayed. Also, Gav breaking down had me in tears, I compare to him in quite some aspects so it hit close to home. The music is amazing and I listen to the playlist almost daily. BUT THE QUOTES! The ending quotes, they are one of my favourite quotes ever.

TOP 3 QUOTES:

1. Let’s make room for those who’ve lost their sense of home.

2. You are entitled to a love that lets you dance without fear or shame.

3. You own the rights to your own truth.

I can’t wait for season two!

2. Where your eyes linger

It was the first Korean BL I watched and I’m sad that the full show was only 80 min in total! To be honest I wanted to see so much more of both of them and I’ll rewatch it so many times in 2021 too, I already know. The bestfriend but also master-servant dynamic and just all of them as a cast hold my heart. I hope to see many more good bl’s from Korea in 2021!

3. Cherry Magic

I kind of finished the year with Cherry Magic! And if that wasn’t an amazing ride! The characters, the setting the fact that it wasn’t just another teenager love story but actually a bit more mature. Also seeing ‘older’ characters still struggle with insecurities and anxiety is such a refreshing thing to view. This had made me much more excited for other Japanese BL’s that are still on my watching list! ALSO Kurosawa being a cutie and just wanting Adachi to be happy and Adachi trying to get out of his comfort zone it’s just- amazing. The show was truly magical. (I’d share my watching list but it’s 100+ shows so maybe some other time y’all)

4. TharnType: 7 years of love

I love the first season of TT a lot so I was low-key counting down the days until the second season came for all of us. (as a fan I of course do see the toxic parts but that’s also for maybe another post sometime, probably not lol) But I was excited to see how they unfold the rest of the show in 2021 and I love what we’ve had so far. I mean I do get annoyed quite a few (Fiat ngl) but the sweetness (and hotness, I mean who are we kidding) from Tharn and Type I love it a lot!! I can’t wait to rewatch it a million times when it’s finally ended. Can’t wait!

5.  My Engineer

As much as I started watching for Bohn and Duen, I stayed for Ram and King. Their dynamic is amazing and even though they’re not the main couple they have way more depth to their relationship that I had expected there to be. I truly fell in love with King as a person (got so obsessed that I bought a bag similar to his). Ram doesn’t deserve the struggles he has to go through. I can’t wait to see how all of their stories (not only RamKing’s) will unfold in the new year. I hope so see so much more of all of their faces and I’ll keep an eye out for their other projects in this upcoming year.

6.  Strong Woman Bong Soon

Not a BL but what a show, I actually started this show in 2019 once and a few minutes in I lost all attention and couldn’t find a motivation to continue watching but when I started this year the pilot had me wanting to know what would happen and I also didn’t expect to fall face first for our one and only In Kook-Doo (Ji Soo). If you haven’t watched it yet, I hope it will come on your watch list because it only took me 2 to 3 days to finish it because it’s so good. Do not start watching it if you have more important things to do (test, deadlines, etc) cuz you might not actually finish.

7. The Prince of Tennis

I watched it earlier this year and then rewatched it at the end of the year and I still loved it so much. I tend to like sport anime’s quite a bit, and this is actually a ‘live-action’ version of an anime and I fell in love with all of it. The characters, their quirks and all of their ‘powers’ and ‘moves’, I always go quicker through the show than I think and then it’s over so quickly :( Still, if you like sports anime (free, haikyuu, etc) check it out!

8. 2gether (& Still2gether)

2gether is the epitome of fluff and even though it holds a dash of angst and a lot of amazing character development. I had a smile on my face the most of the time I was watching this show. And Still2gether was one of the best surprises for me this year, extra episodes in the same year? More of my fluffly bois? My angry-I-stab-you-boi and puppy-boi facing challenges and overcoming them? The KISSES? Yes. I don’t have much to say other than, it was good and I do hope to see more of both Win and Bright, I hope as a couple in the show ngl, soon but I’ll support them either way. I wish them so much succes and love.

9. Ingredients

Ingredients was a show I saw quite a bit of on tumblr, and we all know, if your mutuals watch it, put it on you list! So it got on my list the beginning of 2020 but I actually started watching it more towards the end and I fell in love with both of the characters and all of the support characters too, I hope to see much more cuteness from both of them and I can’t wait for other episodes. Also why are the episodes only so short? I want more of my bois :D

10. I’m Tee, Me Too

Not a BL, but I love the characters and they are THE pillars of GMMTV so I had high hopes. And my hopes were met. A great show and even though the actors didn’t play the others romantic interest you could still see the amazing dynamic all of them had together. If you want to laugh (with a dash of angst for character development) then this is such a good show for you to watch!

People I appreciated this year!

so many people, I love you all so much! (sorry if I forget you :()

@the-speediest-boi @sarawatism @negrowhat @incorrect-tharntype @kindaanartblog @leeairisu @lovelysunshine96 @zaintseeme @cu-tine @mewsuppasit

Thank you guys for making this year amazing and bringing so much joy to me <3

It’s been floating around tumblr for awhile so consider yourself tagged if either I already tagged you as a person I appreciated or if you want to fill it in anyway!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope all of you stay safe and healthy this new year! Let’s all work together so we can do much more later :) I love all of you and I hope all of your loved ones also stay safe <3

[retvenkos]

hi! i’d like to request a ship in two of the Star Wars eras (you choose!), and Harry Potter (any era!) i am a bisexual woman, i am 5’10! i am a Hufflepuff and an INFP. i enjoy writing and photography and spending time with my family and friends. i am pretty smart, quiet, and reserved until i get to know someone, which I when I feel much for comfortable to open up to them and to be myself. i love making people around me happy and making them laugh and i notice very easily if something is wrong. i am also very self conscious about my appearance. some things that i dislike are failure and being alone and just generally feeling like i’m not good enough! thank you and congrats on 2.5k!!

Star Wars OG Trilogy:

I ship you with Luke Skywalker!

okay, so the two of you are so sweet together. luke is a sweet farm boi who believes the best of everyone and has an idealistic view of the world, just like you. you both are the optimists™ of the group, and if you go on adventures w/ leia and han, it’s perfect because you two are up against the realists, and very little gets done, if leia doesn’t put her foot down and get everyone to agree on a plan.

luke loves how smart you are, and how you’re a creative thinker, constantly coming up with new ways to look at things. honestly, you have gotten the group out of some pretty bad situations before, with your creative ideas and han’s piloting skills. they probably would have died a couple of times over had it not been for you. 

you’re intuition and knack of reading people definitely comes in handy with luke, because he doesn’t always want to let his fears be known, but you are able to see them in him, and you gently coax him into talking. 

and luke is so glad he can lean on you - he feels like he doesn’t need to keep secrets from you, and that’s really special.

and both of you are very loyal to your values - you have strong moral codes that you could never break, and so you both would never ask the other to compromise on what you believe. both of you would rather die trying to find a way out than do something you don’t believe in, and that’s good for relationship stability, seeing as you guys are faced with tough problems almost every day.

you both also love your families! you love spending time with friends and family, even if you aren’t doing much else, so you definitely spend a lot of quality time together (that’s probably luke’s love language, ngl).

also, luke is probably the most genuine person in all of star wars, so you know that whenever he gives you compliments he means them, and both of you really value that in the other.

and at the beginning of his journey, luke is funny and loves to laugh, and while he grows into someone more wise and subdued, hils love for jokes never leaves him entirely, and you are able to make him laugh like he used to on tatooine, and that’s very sweet.

you bring out the best in luke, and he brings out the best in you!

the two of you definitely have early morning talks - his hair is still messy and he’s still smiling from being half in a dream, and you give him a hug from behind and lean your chin on his shoulders while you watch the sunrise. 

also! while luke tinkers with machinery, you definitely hang out with him, either writing or just watching him work. the two of you like to spend a lot of time in each other’s presence, doing small things.

Star Wars Clone Wars:

I ship you with Ahsoka!

alright, but you would treat ahsoka right. all you want is for her to be happy, and honestly, who doesn't?

something that ahsoka loves about you is how genuine you are - maybe you’re tough to get to know (she’s certainly no stranger to closed off people), but you are a very authentic person once you open up. you never keep secrets or try to be double. you offer a kind of transparency that ahsoka appreciates and really loves. 

you are also very passionate in your beliefs, and that’s something you and ahsoka share. when you believe in something, you trust it with your whole heart, and while both of you are easily blindsighted to the evils of what you believe in, you both share that heart that could be disastrous in other relationships. you never blame the other for believing too much. after everything that happened with the jedi, ahsoka is a little more wary of who she puts her trust in, and that’s good for the both of you, since you often make big decisions together.

and that leads me to another point - you being so thoughtful and aware of those around you. this mostly stems from you being a little averse to conflict, but you notice when something is wrong really quickly, and you are not afraid to ask ahsoka what is going on. this is good for ahsoka because it not only prompts her to take a step back and focus on herself for a second, but it also allows ahsoka to be vulnerable, which isn’t something she likes doing. 

you are able to comfort her and allow her to show you the part of her that is still hurting, and that’s really special, tbh.

ahsoka also loves how smart you are - she’s glad you can keep up with her and are even smarter than her in many ways. ahsoka needs someone to keep up with her, and while she always has you on your toes, you pleasantly surprise her quite a lot.

and you’re also very emotionally intelligent, which i will remind you, once again, is perfect for ahsoka. she often doesn’t know how to talk about her feelings - she just feels them, and you just somehow know what she’s talking about? and you can sympathize with her? wow. she loves that.

i also think that the two of you were pen pals for a while - she keeps all of your letters and even if she’s not the best at always replying back, she will find the time to send you one, reminding you to keep sending her updates because she really misses you.

oh, and the two of you love to take pictures together. her’s are more funny pictures of the two of you, all of them slightly blurred so they have that suggestion of chaos to them, and all of yours a little more clear and a little more melancholic. 

also, ahsoka does wonders for your self esteem. she is constantly telling you how much she appreciates you, and she is big on giving you the look™ that is just so full of love and admiration.

[kinetic-elaboration]

The 100 Ask Game

Tagged by @thelittlefanpire --thank you! This looks like fun.

Soooo okay, first, full disclosure: I haven’t watched S5. I stopped watching toward the end of S4 for Reasons. So there might be a little bit of salt and/or confusion in some of my answers. But only a little; this blog is still a positive space and it is, of course, Show Night: a big fandom night regardless of my personal participation.

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

Hmm. Well I have farmers and factory workers in my family but I don't know which end of a wrench is up myself. I guess I'd probably be from one of the stations we know nothing about like Hydro or Tesla. It would be cool to be from Mecha but I'm not a mechanical person in the slightest lol.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Probably theft. I'm not a thief in real life but I do like eating and comfort and I'm p. sure the only way to get anything above subsistence-level rations on the Ark is to do some law-breaking.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

I'm too much of a rule-follower to do it on my own but I would definitely be a sucker for Bellamy's "take off your wrist band as payment for some delicious puma meat" plan. To heck with this silly piece of metal, I want to eat.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

Some sort of large cat. Or small cat, not picky.

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

If Wells counts as a minor character, then Wells. Otherwise...perhaps M'Benge. He looked like a promising delinquent.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Jasper, and Monty. This is partly practical--I do think they're the smartest/most capable members of the group--but also partly about the Narrative. They're my favorites.

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

I guess Trikru based on where I live? Or again, some clan we know nothing about. I don't know anything about Trikru's non-warriors so perhaps I could be one of them.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Skipping this one because I don't give my real name or any variants online, sorry.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

Okay. My general thought on Finn is that he had an appropriately sized role in the narrative--which is more than I can say about a lot of other characters, many of whom, imo, were either killed too early, or too late/not at all when they should have been, or who take up way too much screen time, or are given way too little for their worth. But Finn contributed decently well to the first season--sometimes oddly, in that, once he outlived his usefulness as a love interest, he was shoe-horned into a Peacemaker role that probably should have been Wells's. But at least he was contributing a needed and consistent POV. And while I go back and forth a bit on how realistic I find his season 2 breakdown... I think it is more realistic than not, at least narratively. He seems like the sort who would have a breakdown after a battle, and the short timespan of 2A makes it more likely, not less, to me, that he would spiral quickly into something so atrocious: no time to cool down, to get perspective, to heal. Also, he had a completely unique story, which is also pretty rare on a show that likes to reuse its plot points. (Sorry! It does though.) I can also honestly say that Finn's death and funeral still ranks as one of the most resonant and heartbreaking moments of the series, for me. I have a hard time with any sort of capital punishment story line usually but I really felt for this one and I think it was very well done.

So basically what I'm saying is that I think Finn was decently well used as a character--like B+ narrative role, docked for the random interest in peace and the occasionally annoying nature of his personality. Because he could be annoying. He and Clarke didn't have much chemistry and he and Raven had surprisingly little, too, given how important they allegedly were to each other. And one of the good aspects of his death was that, not only was the event itself well-constructed and moving, but he wasn't exactly missed, by me or by the story, after he was gone. He served his purpose. I'm glad he wasn't on the show longer. (Except for that post speculating on a Finn/Murphy redemption arc/love story, which I would have watched and cheered on for sure.)

I don't hate him, though, and it does annoy me a little that he almost always shows up in fic as the 2d villain, the shitty ex/boyfriend, the annoyance. I mean, I get the appeal of having a readily available character like that (ngl I've used him that way at least once myself) but like.... it's not my fave trope, let's put it that way.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

I've thought about this some, not so much as it pertains to me, but in comparison to some other Failed Utopia plots in other fiction, and because my sleeping beauty au involves Clarke taking the chip, and it was very hard for me to bring her to a place where I felt like she could realistically, and in an in-character way, make that choice. But it's also been a while since I watched S3 and it's difficult for me to remember at what point different aspects of the CoL became obvious to the characters. Certainly, I can see the appeal. I think anyone can. It's an interesting concept and one I actually wished had gotten more time in the show... I think anything that obviously perfect (live forever in a wonderful city, away from pain and death and hardship!) should immediately cause warning bells: what's the catch here? Taking the chip without knowing the answer to that question is an assumption of the risk sort of situation, except you can't predict what the risk is, and the stakes are enormously high. Not exactly smart, and I like to think I am smart. I also have a great fear of AI and VR, which would make me wary.

On the other hand, I'd do poorly in the impoverished landscape of the post-apocalypse, which might make the chip more tempting. Also, if ALIE and friends tortured me or someone I loved, I would take the chip like that. No question, I am weak.

11. What character do you relate to most?

I relate to the intensity of Jasper's feelings, and to Monty's method of shutting down emotionally as a survival mechanism.

Generally I wouldn't say I have much in common with any of the characters, though, and I don't really watch because I 'relate' to anyone, personally.

12. What character do you like the least?

My first instinct is to say I dislike a lot of the characters, which is true but... I also spend almost no time thinking about the ones I dislike. My fandom experience at this point is very much about retreating into the aspects of the show/canon/fanon I like, and ignoring everything else. That said... probably M/di and J/rdan because the whole concept of a Next Generation down from the delinquents offends me, and also because they're both so universally loved that it's quite hard to avoid them. Also b/c J's name corresponding to that of my fave character makes blacklisting really obnoxious lol.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Mmm, something comfortable. A nice jacket, like Clarke or Bellamy's S1 jackets, or Jasper's pilot jacket. Nothing with weird patches like Murphy's S1 or Jasper's S3 jackets. A shirt with something interesting written on it like Jasper's Earth Day shirt. Big boots. A nice heirloom necklace. Multiple layers. Knitted wristlets like Clarke has in early S1. A sweater with thumb holes like Monty has in S4.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

All the mutants! I really feel like the show missed some good opportunities in the irradiated-animal department. Take some $$$ from the explosion budget, or the Boring Side Character payroll, and invest in some more two-headed beasts. But if I had to pick one, I'd say Lincoln's two-faced horse, because the image of him saving Clarke and Finn in late S1 is so underrated but so iconic.

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

I don't think I have many useful Ark skills. Archivist, perhaps? Member of their proto-justice system? Probably that, though I don't know what sort of jobs, specifically, make up that unit. Though I have some ideas; see: a fic I haven't yet actually written.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Gross. But probably if I had to, I'd force myself to.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

I gotta tell you, I literally do not care, nor have I have ever cared, about the commander or Grounder leadership in the slightest. They all seem pretty incompetent. They should cede their power to the Sky People, who are marginally less terrible at running things.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

You'd never know from my obsession with alternate states but I have never been high, nor intoxicated in any way, so I really can't say. Hopefully calm and happy like M'Benge in the broom closet. But probably miserable and confused and afraid of my inability to corral my thoughts.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Interesting question. I actually think the Charlotte story line was one of the best of S1, probably the show as a whole, and I kind of wish it had played out more long term, instead of just being, in retrospect, more of an excuse for some drama. I mean that is one of the central dilemmas of a new society, as the dropship camp was starting to be at that time: what do you do with people who break the rules and/or are dangerous? They had roughly three options: execute the wrongdoer (which eliminates the problem pretty efficiently, if brutally); ignore the issue entirely through immediate forgiveness; or apply some punishment in between, like imprisonment. This situation in particular was more complicated because, first, technically, they had 'no rules' at the time (killing is just, uh, obviously wrong), second, the actual perpetrator was a child, and third, she was so obviously unstable as to seem a likely continued threat. And in addition to all THAT, Bellamy and Clarke were such tenuous leaders (Clarke wasn't really a leader at all, so really I should say Bellamy was a tenuous leader) that any option that didn't go along with the will of the majority could cause a complete break in legitimacy. So it's really a delicate scenario. One I can't say I have an answer to.

I will say I think banishment is literally the worst thing they could have done, for either Murphy or Charlotte, if she had lived, and I think the narrative bears this out. It looks like a good compromise but it's cruel and it's dangerous. Cruel because they have to assume the banished person would die in the wilderness, and if you believe he deserves death, shouldn't you just execute him? Have the courage of your convictions? Take on the full moral weight of your decisions? A hanging death is probably less awful than slow starvation or being eaten by a wild animal. And dangerous because if he doesn't die, he's an obvious target for...who's that? Your enemies in the woods? Which is exactly what happened? They brought that whole bio-weapon story line on themselves, tbh. I think it was an in-character decision for a couple of dumbass kids, but that's not the same thing as saying it was smart.

I like to think I would have sided with Bellamy early on, in being careful about what information goes out to the camp as a whole. I mean, it's not perhaps the most moral decision, but it's practical--and certainly inciting a riot, as Clarke ended up doing, is neither practical nor moral, so there's that. If the actual perpetrator had been found before Murphy was caught up in the mess... I guess some sort of middle-ground punishment is the best you can do. Imprisonment, shitty work shifts. Showing consequences for bad actions and trying to keep the group safe. Hopefully if there was enough tact in the beginning of the process, the crowd could be convinced to go along with it. I don't know, though. It's tough.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Bellamy.

Bellamy, Bellamy, Bellamy.

Honestly, watch the first season, or even, arguably, the first three, and tell me that ultimately becoming Chancellor wouldn't be a neat, logical, and emotionally satisfying conclusion for Bellamy's arc.

Obviously, it would take him some time to get there. Before then... I don't know. If I had to pick among one of the former Chancellors, I'd go with Abby I suppose.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Oh gosh they're all terrible lol. I guess I'd pick Kane as the least of the three evils. He certainly was in the right once Pike's anti-Grounder agenda went into play, but I don't exactly think he had the ear of the people prior to the election, which is why I'm not enthusiastic. But, still. You gotta get through the Dark Times to get to Chancellor Bellamy, I guess.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

I'd grab up some interesting books. Possibly a stuffed animal because I like soft things. A nice piece of art.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

Lol I don't care what universe we're in, I'm never getting a tattoo. Hair: probably something simple and loose. War paint: pass, as I wouldn't be a warrior.

24. Favorite quote?

I suppose Jasper's quote about wounds needing to heal before they become scars.

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

I've never read or watched the Hunger Games but I'm nevertheless going to say Raven. She's just been the deus ex machina too many times.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least favorite: M/rper

Favorite canon: ummmmm idk not excited by most canon ships tbh. Probably Jasper/Maya, maybe Mackson or Briller.

Favorite non-canon: Jonty

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF DURAN DURAN

Lol, Idk. Something poppy and 80s would amuse me, though. In part because the show needs to take itself at least 75% less seriously.

I don't have any opinions on cameos.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Hopefully make friends with Murphy.

29. You're an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

Something painless and quick?? I don't know. Poison?? Nice dramatic non-bloody death?

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

JASPER. OBVIOUSLY.

...Lol I think this question is really about plausible character flashbacks and if so.... well first off ANY flashback about the Ark is 100% my thing, and flashbacks about almost any delinquent would be great. We're still not in the realm of the plausible, though, imo.

Raven, perhaps? Always want more Raven.

31. A character you’d bang?

Raven. Even though she'd intimidate me a lot.

Monty (as an adult, ofc).

A lot of the characters are bangable tbh. Might be faster to name those I wouldn't...

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Uhhhh none of the above??

I suppose the bunker. (This answer is based on the concepts of bunker/space/alone on Earth, not what actually happened in S5.)

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

Read a lot and make friends. Idk if I'd follow Octavia since I just don't have enough data on the season... but from my understanding of her recent arc, probably not.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

???

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

I wouldn't last a year in space with such a small group of people but hopefully Raven and I would hook up before I spontaneously expired.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

Definitely less than a year.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Eligius ship? I don't know her.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

???

39. Would you Spacewalk?

No. But actually. Probably yes. I'd totally freak out about the idea, swear a million times I'd never do it, then get cajoled into trying by my beautiful girlfriend Raven, and I'd love it so much I'd immediately want to do it again.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Algae?

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

There's no way I'd make it this far in the narrative in real life. I didn't even get there in fictional life.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

I guess the thumb drive thing sounds less disgusting.

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

I don't have any siblings (well, no siblings with whom I have a real sibling relationship) so, yeah, sure, why not lol?

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like M/rper?

Leave my body behind on Earth, please, where it belongs.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

New planet? I dunno what that means lol.

[survivor-guyana]

Rites of Passage

It is now time for the Rites of Passage. Use this time to reflect on your journey in this game as well as the people who left for you four to be where you are now. Please play the audio and enjoy your experience.

Dani: We didn’t talk much, but you didn’t deserve to go day 1.

Jess: The victim of exam season (I believe) and an unfortunate timezone. You fought until the end and I have so much respect for that.

Alyssa: Queen of menopause <3 You seemed like such a chaotic sweetie!!! Happy to have been in the same season as you! 

Dani: You were such a fun player even though we only got to play for a few days. Looking back, I realize you were SO ready to play and I’m happy I got to play with a fun girl like you! BUT DAMN DONT DO SO MUCH ON DAY 1 OK.

Jess: Oh my god. I think you attempted to play more game in the 4 or so days you were in the game than most people play all season. Your departure provided me with EASILY the highlight of my season (menopause) and for that I’m thankful. 

Dani: We were allies, but when we got swapped you went onto a tribe with 5 favorites. I really wish we got to work together more.

Jess: We’ve ran into each other from time to time but never truly got to play a group game together. I was pretty excited to see you in this game and was sad when you left. See you around!

Alyssa: We didn’t connect super well on our first tribe but I’m sorry you got a pre-merge boot! 

Chelsea: Like Nick, I did not get to talk to you that much so I am hoping that we get to play again sometime so that I can talk to you more. 

Dani: JENNNAAAA!! YOU WERE SO ROBBED. Girl I was SHOCKED when you left and so sad. You were so fun to be around and you stuck with us fans even though you were a favorite, which I totally respected. You did not deserve to go home the way you did!! I really wish I got to play more with your adorable self<3.

Jess: I never got to meet you but your departure really set the tone of this game so thank you!

Dani:

You are such a good player and I was totally threatened by that. I had to get you out regardless of how fun you were to play with. 

Jess: I kind of got the feeling you didn’t like me at times but the way you left was fucking iconic. Keep snatching those wigs on your way out the door!

Alyssa: NICK!!!! I’m so sorry I did you dirty!!! I knew you were going that round but didn’t say anything to further my own game… I’m so sorry ☹ You are so so so so SO real and I LOVE that. Hope life is treating you well buddy <3 Alexa, play “Have It All” by Jason Mraz

Chelsea: I know we were on the same tribe starting out but we never really talked too much. You seem like a nice person and I wish that maybe we got to talk more. I was pretty quiet at the start because I was intimidated by how little people I knew and I was trying to get a feel for everyone. 

Dani: You were the reason Jenna got out and also the reason I was almost voted out. I respect your game play, but phew am I glad you left. 

Jess: You have a buff so obviously you are a legend. I’m really sorry for giving you probably the most stressful experience during a competition, ever. If I wasn’t a complete dumbass we might have won? And could have been sitting in this final 4 SORRYYYYYY.

Alyssa: 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100 01100010 01111001 01100101 00001101 00001010

Chelsea: The dog emoji did not leave when you did. 

Jess: The man, the myth, the mother fuckin’ LEGEND. You went inactive for days and somehow are still talked about to this day (ICONIC). 01010100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100001 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100111 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100011 01100001 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01001011 01001110 01001111 01010111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101011 01101001 01101100 01101100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110101 01110011 00101110 (Dog)

Alyssa: So I found out after you were voted out that this was your first ORG ever???? Congratulations on making jury! I’m so happy for you! Hope you’re enjoying all this tea everyone is spilling as they come in. Jury can be SO fun when there’s a bunch of secrets in the game and now I K N O W there were a TON! See you at FTC! Alexa, play “Legend” by Twenty One Pilots

Chelsea: Once we merged and I got a chance to talk to you, you seemed cool but then you got really pushy about who I was voting for on the originally JD vote. I told you that I was in the middle of a serious challenge for another game and you wouldn’t stop messaging me lmfao. That pushiness does not work well with me so ngl, I was kinda glad that you went home. 

Dani: MY MAN, MY CHICKEN MAN, MY ROBBED MAN, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO?! You did not deserve to go out the way you did. You were truly someone I was loyal to throughout the entire game and I hated seeing you go. I am astonished at how hard you try at this game and I absolutely loved meeting you.

Jess: For your first org (I think) you were pretty impressive. You were easily one of the biggest strategic threats in this game and I strongly believe if people didn’t catch on to that so quick you would have given me a run for my money. I wish we could have spent some more time pre-merge because I think we could have been a force to be reckoned with in this game. (We could have called ourselves The Timbits or the Doubles Doubles).

Alyssa: Sammy… king of editing… I’m so sorry you got done dirty like you did. Devon really is the king of throwing people under the bus, huh??? Can’t wait to talk to you at FTC <3 Alexa, play “7 rings” by Ariana Grande

Chelsea: Sammy: I am so sorry that you got voted out when you did. I was hoping that we could stick together but that fell short because of LIES. ily and I hope we play together soon. <3 PS thank you for editing the music video, I still watch it to this day.

Dani: You were so funny in the main chat, but for some reason we couldn’t hold a conversation. I loved your music video. You tried getting me out and that was when you got out. Idkkk you’re a cool dude, but a pretty bad liar. 

Jess: The man with the editing skills like no other. Honestly, most of the time I just thought you were way toooooo cool for me. For some reason we both sketched each other out like no other and that wrecked any potential we had

Alyssa: Hi Tim! I’m so sad we didn’t really click in this game ☹ You are such an absolute king and you stanned me so hard and I absolutely adored that??? I just didn’t feel like I had a chance at being your #1 this game and so I has to vote you out. Hope life has been treating you well <3 Alexa, play

Chelsea: You were very nice to me in the short time that we worked together and you were the one to warn me about Aidan and Devon (even though I didn’t really listen) and I appreciate you for it. I wish that you had made it farther in the game then some of the sneaks who did, but I respect you and want to play with you again! 

Dani: We didn’t talk much, but you gave me really good advice when I was going through a hard time so thank you for that <3

Jess: Honestly you were probably one of the NICEST people I’ve ever met playing a game. For some reason the stars just never aligned and we just couldn’t be on the same side. I truly hope everything is well with you and everything is looking up!

Alyssa: JD…. I’m so sorry about the unanimous round. I was not down for playing chicken with everyone and we knew the only person we could get our divided tribe to vote out unanimously was you. I’m so sorry your time here was cut short and that we didn’t get to know each other better. You are an absolutely drop dead gorgeous QUEEN and I am so happy I met you. Alexa, play “Brave Honest Beautiful” by Fifth Harmony ft. Meghan Trainor

Chelsea: We had one conversation privately and it was when your name was going around but Mitchell was actually going home. I felt bad and reached out to you because I knew that it was going around that I was voting you, but I didn’t! I kinda got the vibe that you were annoyed with me from the message that I sent you, so I never really reached out again. I just wanted you to know that I never had any intention on voting you that one round and I’m sorry for the miscommunication. 

Dani: You were extremely fun to play with even though it got a little crazy towards the end!

Jess: My Canadian sister! You were honestly probably one of the people I was MOST excited to meet while watching intro videos (ask Johnny!). I wish we could have talked more in this game and I really wish I didn’t unintentionally sketch you out. I hope our paths cross somehow in the future and we can show these people what Canadian girls are all about! (Or as some maybe say “a-boat”).

Alyssa: Maynor, I was so disappointed when I heard you were telling people about our conversations before you were voted out… I really think if that didn’t happen, it could’ve easily been me, you, Guac, and Jess at F4. You know I love you to DEATH and I’m sorry you had to die for us to kill TJ’s idol. PS we need to do tequilla shots together at FTC or you’re fake!! Alexa, play “Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time” by Panic! at the Disco

Chelsea: Maynor: You are a very likeble person and seemed to get along with me just fine. We always agreed on votes for the most part but we only really talked when it came down to votes. I know we tried having normal conversations but we were both busy with our own lives. I appreciate your effort in always reaching out to me even if our conversations were short. Let’s play another game soon!

Dani: We went through a lot together and I lost trust in you after you voted for Jenna in the beginning. It was great playing with you and I literally LOVED talking to you. You were sooo funny and a great drinking buddy!

Jess: Honestly, a lot of people might argue that Alyssa was my favourite person this season but it was you (sorry Alyssa). Our late-night drunk chats and your drinking CUPS of tequila were easily some of my favourite moments in this game. On the fans tribe you were one of two people I really got along with. For some reason towards the end we lost trust with each other and I think that killed us in the end. I hated the way your vote went down and I really regret not trying to send you a life vest when you needed my help. I just couldn’t shake off the fact that I believed you would always pick Jones over me </3. I’m sorry.

Alyssa: TJ… I’m sorry this game played out the way it did. I really did think on our first tribe that our gameplay styles would work SO well together and was genuinely excited to see you again at merge. But when Jess started telling me how much you were buying into these ideas of me being in all different alliances, I knew that even though you said I was one of the people you trusted  the most, that couldn’t be true. And I couldn’t say the same for you either when I had formed other strong connections after our time together and before merge. You refused to go out quietly by making us all shit ourselves when you were wearing that hat at tribal and I respect the SHIT out of you. Alexa, play “Kool Aid” by Katelyn Tarver

Chelsea: I enjoyed playing with you but I’m a little bit upset that you made that group chat without me in it lmfao. I hope we get to play again one day and that I get to be included in your vote chats ;) I feel like together we are one good player with your smarts and my social game. 

Dani: You worked so hard in this game and I really enjoyed talking to you.I respect your game play hard and I wish you could have gone further. 

Jess: Ugh another killer vote-off. You already know how much I love and respect you in these games. You’ve easily become one of my best friends on these various platforms we play games on. I know there were soooooo many people hoping we would play another classic TJ/Jess game and were heartbroken when I had to turn on you. If there’s anyone here who I KNOW can respect gameplay it’s you. I just couldn’t save you once you sank your ship by over-playing your hand. Doing that would have put me in so much trouble with too many people and that wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. I’m really sorry. One of my biggest regrets in this game was not being straight up with you about your send-off. I’m sorry life got rough for you during this game and I hope you know my door is always open when you need someone to talk to or distract you. Soooo many things killed us in this game and I think everyone in this game is lucky it did or else we would BOTH be sitting in the final 4 right now. PS: Some would say the student became the master this game. Hope there are no hard feelings on your end!

Alyssa: Aidan, I’m still hella fucking pissed off at your last comment at me lol Commenting on peoples’ appearances stick with them a long time! Not cute! Anyway, you’re a legend who says whatever he wants 100% of the time with no filter, and you made this season really fun. @ Johnny: “It wasn’t unanimous, you dumbass.” I’m sad I didn’t get to talk to you more! I think in another game setting we could’ve done WERK together. But I guess since I had a huge target on my back it wasn’t worth getting super close to me in this game. Alexa, play “Say It to My Face” by Madison Beer

Chelsea: You have a pretty strong social game but it got you in trouble when you were voted out. I thought that by having you as an ally would benefit me because of both of our social games, but the difference between you and me is that I don’t twist things or lie to people. I caught onto that pretty fast when I talked with other people and we compared conversations. Anyway, I had fun playing with you but I don’t know how closely I would work with you in the future. ;p

Dani: AIDAN THERE IS SO MUCH I COULD SAY RIGHT NOW BUT I’D PROBABLY START CRYING BECAUSE I’M AN EMOTIONAL BITCH. You were so ROBBED. We made a friendship that I feel like will last beyond the game and I hope we meet up one day. When you got voted out I was in absolute shock and wanted to cry. THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU AND PLEASE DONT EVER CHANGE. <3 

Jess: Your one-liners, drags, and comebacks are like no-other. Honestly you fucking amazed me. However, you were probably the person I was MOST afraid of in this game. Your were hands down the BIGGEST threat to win and for some reason I still wanted to work with you (which just shows how fucking good you are at these games). On the fans tribe you were my #1 and someone I wanted to go FAR with in this game and I genuinely meant that. However, so many things fucked us over in this game. I think our biggest issues were a mixture of paranoia, my relationship with Alyssa, and us not trusting each other enough to truly cross reference the shit we were being fed. I’m truly sorry you had to be blindsided. You were easily in the most powerful position in this game with your advantage and I hope you can respect the move that was made against you. I know you are pissed at me and rightfully so but just know that it was nothing personal. - Your favourite Social Climbing Canadian Cunt.

Alyssa: Guac… I’m really happy because I kind of gave you an ROP before you were voted out? Telling you before tribal was one of the best things I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I were complicit in an unnecessary blindside against you. I love you so much and the real tragedy of this game is that we never got to be the iconic pre-made F2 that we could’ve been. I missed you IMMEDIATELY after you were voted out. You brought so much love and positivity in this game and I am so happy that we got to go through this experience together. I 100% deserved your attempt to get me voted out. There’s only so many times you can leave someone you call your ally in the dark. Love you long time <3 Alexa, play “The Hype” by Twenty One Pilots.

Chelsea: You are super sweet and if I hadn’t had a group that I was working with closely, I probably would have worked with you even more than I did in the game. I hope that you understand why I had to flip back to my original group on your vote and that we can play again one day! 

Dani: You’re super cute and funny. Rate: 11/10 

Jess: Oh Jones. I’m pretty sure at this point you just want to scream “GO BACK TO PARTY CITY, WHERE YOU BELONG!” at me and I’d deserve it. I know we already had our talks about what went wrong with us during the game but I once again want to apologize for at any point making you feel like crap. Me, you, and Alyssa were the iconic trio this game deserved to have but our loyalties just never were with the same people. I didn’t think you had the fight in you to do some of the things you did in this game and you proved how much of a boss ass bitch you were. I respect the shit out of you. I HOPE you still want to talk to me outside of this game because I honestly think we could be amazing friends! <3

Alyssa: Oh Devon, how you disappointed me… I told you I don’t shoot my gun unless you cock yours! And you were getting ready to shoot! Despite the fact that us four ladies see you as the ex-boyfriend who we found out had three other girlfriends, I loved playing this game with you! You were truly iconic and the reason why we HAD to get you out is because you had a M A J O R chance of beating us at the end of this game. Stop sending the dog emoji and we can still be friends after this <3 Alexa, play “Loyal to Me” by Nina Nesbitt

Chelsea: ………Hi Final 3 partner!! Oh wait, you wanted final 3 with Jess. OH WAIT, no you def wanted final 3 with me because Jess and Alyssa NEEDED to be broken up. OH WAIT, wrong again!! You wanted final 3 with ANYONE who would get you there by being a total SNAKE. Devon, I commend you on your tricks to get yourself far in the game, but I am so pissed that you made it this far by playing the way that you did. I have prided myself on not being a sneaky player and always being pretty honest with the people I work with. I feel dirty that I stayed close with you and allowed you to have some control on who I voted and how I felt about certain players in the game. You pulled me and Sammy aside early on to spread lies about Jess and Alyssa so that Sammy and I would say that we want them out, and then you went to Jess and told her that Sammy hated her. All were lies but you caused a lot of drama that was right under our noses.  All of this was on call so that there is no paper trail and I am SO HAPPY that us ladies outlasted you. Karma is a biotch! I should have known that you weren't just "working" with me when you said you were gonna "lay low" about the Aidan vote. You are probably really nice as a person outside of these games, but I honestly don't think I could ever trust you in a game again. The fact that you so easily made your way through the game at the cost of others makes me think that you have done this plenty of times before. Sorry, I don't feel bad that you got voted out; you deserved it. Slkdjflksdjflksdjflkfjl <3 I have cooled down, so with all that being said, I can’t be TOO pissed off because you played a game that got you close to the end. You outplayed and outwitted so many people and I have to respect (even though I disagree with) the way that you played your game. 

Dani: I really thought on day one that you were going to be loyal and stay loyal. You showed time and time again that that was not the case. Aside from everything that happened in the game, I really think we formed a friendship that’ll last beyond the game. 

Jess: Devon, Devon, Devon where do I begin?! (Dog) I really hope you take the time to read this even though I know you are really upset with me. You were my ride-or-die since our Hosororo days. We didn’t have the best relationship on the fans tribe so I was extremely hesitant to work with you but found a way into my ice-cold Canadian heart. You made me feel like I was your number one in this game and I truly believed it….. until about a week ago. If you were to ask someone who they felt most comfortable with in this game.. 9/10 people would have said: Devon. It didn’t matter if they were a fan or a favourite….. which made you arguably the MOST dangerous person in this game. What you may not know is: I actually did have that super-idol that first tribal (could only be used once.. THANKS FAVOURITES <3) and I highly considered taking you out during first tribal. From Day 1 I knew you were going to be a force to be reckoned with in this game. Your elimination was the MOST stressful for me in this game and the most rewarding at the same time. I felt like such an asshole lying to you all day about using my idol on you even though I knew that you were saying the same things to me that you were saying to everyone else. You pinned everyone against each other and magically stayed safe for sooooo many rounds (I’m JEALOUS). You played the game I think EVERYONE wanted to play. You let me and Alyssa take the heat while making our targets bigger at the same time, you pinned “alliances” against each other, and you thought you made final 3 deals with EVERYONE LEFT IN THE FINAL 5. You came in guns blazing and I respect that so much. You were probably the best player all season and I enjoyed getting to know you! Hopefully there are no hard feelings <3

Alyssa: Queen Chelsea, Thank you for being an ever-present fun person through this game. You're not a cardboard box to me <3 Alexa, play "thank u, next" by Ariana Grande

Dani: We didn't talk much, but you're really pretty.

Jess: Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea. One of my biggest regrets in this game was not getting to know you sooner. I hope you know that you are SO MUCH MORE THAN A FUCKING CARDBOARD BOX because you are a fucking queen. I hope we can get to know each other outside of this game because i'm pretty sure we have A LOT IN COMMON <3

[cockringhoratio]

well gosh golly gee will ya look at that its a tag game! tagged by the blogger of Bad Cosmemes: @sherpawhale​

PRESS J TO SKIP IF YOU AINT WANNA SEE THIS sorry mobile users ur screwed

Rules: answer 11, ask 11

1. What sport are you most excited to watch during the 2018 Winter Olympics? Or sport you’d most like to understand more about?

okay so im ngl i mainly watch the olympics for swimming, diving, volleyball, and gymnastics, and those are all summer sports, but that one when you ski and shoot things at the same time sounds pretty banging. also freestyle skiing and snowboarding are cool too.

2. Would you rather be Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or Snapchat famous?

honestly youtube probably. because i love to talk about stuff when no one can interrupt me and honestly i could probably swing it as a how to channel. and also adsense but the only things i know how to How To are tech theater nonsense or already have like 50 thousand videos on them so meh

3. What are your thoughts/feelings on your most famous “local” (local can be regional) sports team?

so. the thing about va. is that. we dont have SPORTS! we kinda bum off everyone around us, which means for college basketball, we go to duke vs TARHEELS WOOT WOOT (also its hilarious that nc state thinks that theyre somehow in the picture for that rivalry like lmao) and then i think the cavaliers do okay for themselves in football, and i think thats the closest we get to a Known team from va? also we have the tides in norfolk, who feed into the orieles, but like does anyone actually follow the minor leagues??? and because the nationals in dc are closer, everyone follows them instead of the orieles for the majors so its just wah???? and then obvi the redskins (whom i did not realize where in dc for THE LONGEST time) for the nfl and that about it. my fam goes to tides games sometimes, and also penninsula pilots games, which are really fun bc its all homey and old school, and thats about the extent of my sports knowledge. yes technically local for me right now would be la but honestly fuck an la.

4. What is the one book/book series you would read to experience it for the first time again if you could?

So Fucking Many. um. lemme think. i reread thief of time by terry pratchett almost religiously but it still manages to get me just as much as it did the first time, so not that one. (if you asking what book id want buried with me, however, that would 100% be the answer). maybe the belgariad/mallorean by david eddings?? bc the ending of that makes me cry like a fuckin baby holy shit. but i swear theres a better one...... NEVERWHERE. by neil gaiman. yeah. that one. shoutout to allison for first giving me that one lol. (also the wee free men and all the tiffany aching books. those are Good Shit too)

5. What is the one tv show you would watch to experience it for the first time again if you could?

pushing daisies. no question.

6. What is the one song or album you would listen to experience it for the first time again if you could?

transmissions by starset, and also gimme gimme gimme (a man after midnight) by abba and the last of the real ones by fob. the reason i listed more than one is bc if i didnt i would immediately star talking abt transmissions and starset and then this post would be 5 miles longer than its already gonna be

7.  What is the one game you would play to experience it for the first time again if you could?

i dont have very expansive gaming experience outside of browser stuff, and i technically havent beat superhot yet so i cant really experience it AGAIN cuz i havent even fully experienced it for the first time. but on the other hand, i do play an obscene number of escape room games and once you beat those is kinda like well... so i guess id go back and and do those again.... OH WAIT lego indiana jones. because im a fucking class act.

8. What is the one movie you would watch to experience it for the first time again if you could?

descendants (2015) bc HOLY SHIT did ben fucking hit me out of left field like that is an emotional experience i definitely want to relive. also power rangers (2017) and the entire oceans trilogy (in reverse order like i watched them the first time lmao its so funny to be introduced to andy garcia as like their grumpy sugar daddy in the last one and then see him in 12 and 11 and hes like.... so not that...)

9. If you drive, do you prefer to drive with your hands at 10 and 2 or 9 and 3 (don’t say other, which of these two)?

ah i see we’re gonna pretend i dont drive with one hand at 6 and/or my knee. and even then, they teach 8&4 now bc of airbag stuff, but uuuuh whenever i sit up really straight and stretch my arms, i put my hands at 10 and 2

10. What’s the best vanity plate you’ve ever seen?

i come from the land of $10 vanity plates so Let Me Tell You i have seen some real gems. my friend has AUDREY 2, saw a truck with TH8R once, also a PIR8 GRL truck, and my best friend has H3CK Y3A bc shes a fucking nerd. thats all i can tell you off the top of my head but there are some great ones. also lots of like ‘luv my kids’ or jackson 5 type plates. and also lots of Well Im Sure You Didnt Mean It As A Sex Thing Because Of The Stick People Family On Your Windshield But I Literally Cant Come Up With Any Other Interpretation

11. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled, or if you’re not a prankster, best prank you’ve witnessed?

god you know that feeling where you know youve pulled some good ones but you cant for the life of you remember them? thats me rn. cuz i Know me and my friends have pulled some real shit on each other. all i can remember is scaring obnoxious freshmen by turning off the lights in the catwalks after telling them about our theater ghost, but like thats boring. there was the 69 shirt a different group of made but like we were pretty obvious about that so it wasnt really a prank. hmmmm. cant think of any ive witnessed either damn. my memories really going to shit isnt it.

My questions:

1. what creature would you ride into battle in your YA adventure film?

2. what would your highly unrealistic virus a la hackers (1995) look like/be themed around?

3. what is your ideal pet? (real or otherwise)

4. what is your opinion on the fact that my roommate has color coordinated every goddamn thing she owns down to the fucking charging cable she uses?

5. what are your favorite kind of shoes?

6. follow any webcomics?

7. whats your treat yourself meal?

8. whats your feel good movie/book/show?

9. whats your favorite ride or type of ride at amusement parks/carnivals/etc?

10. what historical figure would be fight on sight if you could time travel?

11. if a car is going 70+ on a 60 highway are you the one with your foot on the pedal or the one screaming in the passenger seat?

tagging time: i know i normally dont actually tag people but i got to pick the questions this time so imma do it. also dont feel obligated to do it if you dont wanna, and if i didnt tag you but you do wanna, have at it fam. @colordrifter @punkpixieprince @holybikinisbatman @rainelinde @theheartshapedsunglasses​ @hometown-unicorn​

[decaynow]

∞

SHDHDHHSHD DOES THIS MEAN YOU WANT ME TO ANSWER WHICHEVER ONES I WANT OR ALL OF THEM??? Fuck it, I’m done with stuff at this job so. I’ll do them all. Why not

1. What is you middle name?

Gerard

2. How old are you?

20

3. When is your birthday?

June 20th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Geminiii

5. What is your favorite color?

RED but i also love black

6. What’s your lucky number?

6!!! I like this question’s placement. 6 because Grimmjow but also because HAIL SATAN 666 AAAAAA

7. Do you have any pets?

I have a lil’ black pitbull named Trixie!!!

8. Where are you from?

Georgia the state

9. How tall are you?

5’3

10. What shoe size are you?

uhhh i actually do not know my size in men’s I think it’s like a 5??? Technically in women’s I’m a 7.5 but I tend to buy a half size up A. because doc martens doesn’t do half sizes and B. i dont really like for my shoes to be tight

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

... a lot. I have a shoe fetish ngl.

12. What was your last dream about?

I think I had a dream last night..? About Invader Zim maybe???

13. What talents do you have?

I CAN SING LIKE ANY TWENTY ONE PILOTS SONG, i can touch my tongue to my nose, I have a pretty decent Kermit the frog impression, and I have other weird flexes but I cant remember them rn because my memory sucks

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Idk, sometimes I can predict what song will play next but I think I’m just lucky.

15. Favorite song?

Hhh this is so hard to answer bc I wanna pick something metal but tbh... Holding On To You by Twenty One Pilots

16. Favorite movie?

Either Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron (I know the whole movie by heart and all the songs)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

HBNGFHBB,, i dont know I thirst after many celebrities and fictional characters and they’re all kind of different. I guess someone who won’t make me be someone I’m not. Obviously my lack of adult qualities probably isn’t endearing but idk, someone who’s willing to let me be a lil’ childish. I’d like someone who takes the reigns when it comes to adult stuff, I wanna be a stay at home dad and manage our place and kids or pets and stuff. I like kinda being left to my own devices. That will include me constantly wanting to be in ur space LOL

18. Do you want children?

YEAH... REALLY BADLY... but idk if I’ll ever get to have any bc I dont think anyone would want to date me and marry me and have them LMAO so I dont think I should be trying ever

19. Do you want a church wedding?

My ideal wedding is in a graveyard, on October 31st, at sundown, we are being married on an altar of black candles and jack-o-lanters, the autumn colours are flourishing, and I am carried out to the walkway down to the altar in a casket. Everyone is required to wear black except for our bestmen/bridesmaids and me or whoever I marry. If they aren’t dressed like it’s a funeral I’m kicking them out. Deadass. I want the gothest wedding imaginable.

20. Are you religious?

I do kinda believe in stuff but I’m not a fan of organized religion. I mean, I’m a fan as in, the aesthetic and idea of organized religion is majorly sexy, but i feel like religion is really personal and not a public thing for me. Also 666 hail sa-

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Nope!!! Never broken a bone or had any kind of emergency LOL

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

ONCE I GOT PULLED OVER FOR ROLLING THRU A STOP SIGN AND I CRIED

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I’VE MET HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD TWICE!!! And I’ve met Norman Reedus too. I also went to school with Chandler Riggs (not to put my location on blast HDYDUFHDGDGDD) uhhh I can’t think of anyone else if I have I’d probAOH. Shannon whatever her name is from Stranger Things. She was at my last TØP concert and I asked her for a picture bc my friends were too shy to say anything but since idk her i didnt care LOL

24. Baths or showers?

I like both but I take showers more often

25. What color socks are you wearing?

One is The Scream by Edvard Munch and one is The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

26. Have you ever been famous?

Not like BIG famous but like, people in my school all knew me basically because I was always Doing Shit

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Maybe??? Part of me doesnt want all my shit on blast but at the same time idgaf

28. What type of music do you like?

E... everything... i lean towards punk, pop punk, rock, metal, alternative and whatever but i will literally go from Hannah Montana to Dethklok to Twenty One Pilots to Ghost to Katy Perry don’t test me

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

NO and idk if i want to i dont like to be naked

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I have 7 but i usually have 8. I like a lot of pillows. I want more.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

... ur asking an active sleeper that question. I don’t even know what position i wake up in.

32. How big is your house?

Normal sized I guess???

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I DONT EAT IT BECAUSE I DONT WAKE UP IN THE MORNING

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

I think my dad let me once when I was a kid but that’s because he’s a bad father

35. Have you ever tried archery?

YEAH i sucked at it but in my head i imagine being good at it lol

36. Favorite clean word?

Salutations, Shenanigans or Hold

37. Favorite swear word?

hmmm would go with your classic fuck but tbh i LOVE to lengthen it to motherfucker. Think in terms of most used though, God Damnit.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Maybe two days?

39. Do you have any scars?

:/ I have a lot. Some are from me being dumb (the scar on my leg from melting tape) and some are from me being really dumb (scars on my wrist and arm and thigh) but I’m not ashamed of them, in fact I like scars and bruises. I just hate when people randomly ask about them in person (ie “omg what happened!?!?”) because it’s like... self harm scars are pretty obvious about what’s going on so when you ask like that... idk wtf to say.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

PROBABLY??? But im oblivious.

41. Are you a good liar?

Hhjfguvghhh maybe sometimes??? I try not to lie though and i think its impossible bc im a gemini so there’s a little truth in everything I say

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO IM STUPID

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

NOOOOOOO i can do Kermit the Frog and thats it

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m southern so yes

45. What is your favorite accent?

I LOVE YOU SWEDISH PEOPLE... also love irish accents but also i cant understand anything bc my ears are stupid

46. What is your personality type?

Rambunctious

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have a $100 Ghost hoodie but I think my Big Boots were $148

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yas

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Inward belly buttons or perish

50. Left or right handed?

LEFT LEFT LEFT

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Hmhnghhhhnnnn depends, usually

52. Favorite food?

PASTAAA

53. Favorite foreign food?

I fucking LOVE udon

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I am a messy person doing my absolute best to be clean

55. Most used phrased?

like ever? I start most sentences with “you know what i hate?” But mostly i tend to parrot memes. If I think something is funny I repeat it to myself over and over until it isn’t.

56. Most used word?

Probably “I” because I cant ever stop talking about my damn self

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

... i dont wanna talk about it (a while)

58. Do you have much of an ego?

... I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT (i simultaneuosly... hate myself but also think im the best)

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

SUCK WHO IS BITING THEM???

60. Do you talk to yourself?

SO FUCKING MUCH

61. Do you sing to yourself?

OBVIOUSLY

62. Are you a good singer?

... no but it doesnt stop me

63. Biggest Fear?

I HATE MIRRORS I HATE BATHROOM MIRRORS IN THE DARK THAT STUPID FUCKING CHANT I HATE IT I CANT SAY IT EVER ITS MY FEAR

64. Are you a gossip?

I dont want to be but I’m a gemini so it just HAPPENS

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Man i dont even know just go watch Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I prefer to have mine long but i kinda wanna cut it, i LOOOVE guys with long hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Oh definitely Not

68. Favorite school subject?

ART or biology

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope!

71. What makes you nervous?

LOTS OF SHIT GOD BUT I HATE DOING A BAD JOB OR MAKING MISTAKES

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Sometimes, it just depends

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Hhhffudhdhhh only if I know I wont come off condescending

74. Are you ticklish?

YEAH BUT DONT TICKLE ME I KICKED MY CHUCKLEFUCK EX IN THE DICK ONCE FOR TICKLING ME, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT U SHOULD STILL BE WARNED

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Dont think so

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Sometimes I told groups in school to just let me do all the work because I didn’t trust them with my grade.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

... like a few days ago but tbh alcohol is disgusting and i only wanna drink banana liquor or else i dont drink at all bc its gross

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I desperately wish i had more drugs in my life but i dont wanna come off as a crackhead

79. Who was your first real crush?

EITHER SPIDER-MAN OR YUGI MUTO

80. How many piercings do you have?

I WISH I HAD MY NIPPLE PIERCED SO BADLY... also if i HAD A DICK god nerf’d me I WOULD GET PIERCINGS UP MY DICK... also my (expensive) dream is to get like subdermal/metadermal? implants on my forehead and get devil horns

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yep

82. How fast can you type?

I type... so fast

83. How fast can you run?

Maybe kinda fast but not for long

84. What color is your hair?

Naturally its brown but the bottom half is bleached and one side is yellow and the other is green

85. What color is your eyes?

Bluuue

86. What are you allergic to?

FIRE ANT BITES AND AMOXICILLIN AND I HAVE HAD HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES WITH BOTH

87. Do you keep a journal?

Kind of??? I have a poetry journal and I write dreams down sometimes.

88. What do your parents do?

My mom does like marketing and my dad does carpet cleaning

89. Do you like your age?

No I wanted to die at 12 and I wanna die now. The difference is I didn’t think I’d live this long so now I have no idea what I’m doing.

90. What makes you angry?

FUCKING EVERYTHING IF YOU DATE ME OR BEFRIEND ME YOU NEED TO KNOW I WILL RAGE ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND U CANNOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN LEST I FOAM AT THE MOUTH

91. Do you like your own name?

YEAH I PICKED IT!!! But i also wanna change it but i kinda cant bc Johnny from HU called me Reimond and they all know me as Reimond. But also I wanna be Lucifer Slade Solo.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

TOBIAS JEREMY AND EMELE CECILIA

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I’d be fine with either but tbh!!! Probably a boy.

94. What are you strengths?

HDHDUFHHH,, I NEVER TRULY GIVE UP I JUST GET ANGRIER. I’M INDEFATIGABLE

95. What are your weaknesses?

yelling. if you yell at me i will get upset. if im yelling its fine but if you yell i’ll cry. also roaches.

96. How did you get your name?

Well i consider Reimond the “masculine” version of my deadname!!! Technically there’s Racheal but it’d just get pronounced the same and I still have to correct people on Reimond (EVERYONE KEEPS THINKING IM SAYING RAYMAN) and Gerard is my middle name bc MCR, and I would love to change my last name lol.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I know of

98. Do you have any scars?

U ASKED THIS ALREADY

99. Color of your bedspread?

I have Star Wars sheets with Kylo Ren and storm troopers! I also have Spider-Man sheets.

100. Color of your room?

It’s like painted like a beige colour but most of my stuff is dark lol

[repressed-to-impress]

The rainbow with grey, white, and black on the end!!

omG hi fren! this for you,, my lord,, with love 💖

Red ~ 5 facts about my best friend

how about I do 5 facts about my good old fren ………..steve

一　when I first met you I was like: wow I like this person,, I want to be their friend (and now look: frens!)

二    *stalks your tumblr every morning as soon as I wake up rather than being a productive human being and functioning member of society*

三    You have the best hair out of everyone that I know (except maybe k80). Honestly, I get more compliments from people about your hair than I do about my hair 😂 

++You also have the best taste in music out of everyone I know. Congrats, you are the most emo!!

四    pretty sure more people think were dating than people who don't 

五    I message you more than I message anyone else. Even if you were to combine like 3 of my other frens, you’d still win.

Orange ~ 6 facts about my home town

一　the twenty one pilots song is better ngl

二　we have a kinda shitty lake that you’d probably contract like 4 STIs from if you were to ever swim in it

三　one good thing about it is that every september they have gay pride events on for like a week in and around the city

四　if you watch literally any New Zealand film they probably talk shit about it at least once. at least.

五　#1 stop for car sale yards

六　My home is in this town

Yellow ~ 7 facts about my childhood

一 I was raised to be really religious but now I’m just really gay

二 was taught to disregard my feelings and repress them and now I’m depressed whoops

三 I was the really smart kid.

四 I don’t really remember that much lmao

五 I had a crush on pink when I was about 6

六 apparently I went up to my aunt once and gave her a flower and said: “Chris said to give this to you. He doesn’t want you to be sad anymore.” a few weeks after her boyfriend, Chris, died.

七 I remember saying: draco malfoy is kinda cute and my mum replying: thank god you’re straight (c. 2007)

Green ~ 8 facts about my body

一 I had these two stretch marks on my thigh and they decided they wanted to be friends so now they’re connected *boop*

二 According to a lot of people I have really soft hands? So everyones like wow let me touch your hands and I’m like ??Ok. Despite this I only hold hands with like 2 people. sigh.

三 I have a freckle thing on my left shoulder.

四 I have a single ab, it is very precious to me.

五 i’m lowkey very self conscious,,,

六 I have a fivehead so i’m pretty sure Brendon Urie is my biological father

七 I’m right handed 

八 ain’t got no tits lol

Blue ~ 9 3 facts about my family

ima add the other 6 to other questions

一 I have two younger (half) sisters

二 One of them is like 5 years younger than me but the same height (and i’m 5 7″ yikes)

三 Just found out my cool aunty was a huge fall out boy + my chem fan back in the day and I am s h o o k

Purple ~ 10 5 facts about my room

yikes okay thats a lot how about 5

一  I have a lot of shit everywhere, on everything, over everything, inside everything. It’s a mess but so am I so it’s fine.

二 I really want to decorate my room bc it’s very plain. Also kinda pink and ew.

三 I just noticed someone put a mason jar on my dresser and I never saw it there before.

四 I have a stack of The Sims 3+4 games

五  I spend a lot of time in here, in my bed, in the warm, listening to music + looking at memes.

Pink ~ 4 facts about my parents

一 Brendon Urie is my dad

二 Gerard Way is also my dad

三 Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun are also my dads

四 I have a lot of dads

Grey ~ 2 7 facts about my favourite things

gotta add the 5 from the other thing

一 I like it when cats sit on me and purr and get all comfy its like 

二 Also favourite thing: when you hold someone’s hand and their hand fits so nicely in your hand,,,

三 hot chocolates + gingernut biscuits are the literal best

四 you

五 watching the sun set over the ocean, I did it once and i’ve always wanted to do it again.

White ~ 3 5 facts about my personality

+2 because I have a great personality

一 I’m good at giving hugs

二 Apparently i’m really nice and approachable? despite me being terrified of human interaction??

三 According to like 2 adults I have very good leadership skills and i’m very intuitive???

四 Not gonna lie, i’m actually very stupid at times. If anyone ever wants to tell me something, like, if they’re trying to hint at something, chances are i’m not going to catch on. either that or i’m not confident enough to allow myself to do so or just be like: nah…. they ain’t… they ain’t serious… that ain’t what they mean

五 I like memes

Black ~ 1 5 facts about the person I like

~should probably put in some actual facts rather than just me gushing lmao~

一 I’ve liked them for like… a few months? (I’m kidding I know the exact time period) and it has been some of the best x amount of months.

二 could drag me through hell if it meant I could hold her hand (again)

三 TALENTED as HECK

四 fact: should love me back so we can hold hands and adopt puppies and live happily ever after

五 my taste in music is your face

if you would like to know more about this person, inquire here.

and, thats a wrap. I do hope you enjoyed.

much love, your fair lady, pebble 💞.

[tokyoteddywolf]

A Blue CatAstrophe!

Lance isn't missing, he's right there. It was an accident, how he'd ended up 'missing', but Blue said that there should be some cure for this. He wished he was human again, so he could comfort his team with the knowledge that he wasn't dead. But no, he's a cat, and the only way to make sure they smile is to knock all the pens to the ground, chase some string, and occasionally wake up his crush and idol up from a nightmare and almost get smacked across the room by accident. Well, okay, that last one had to be mended since he was apparently a good stress reliever if you ran your hands down his back... too bad it wouldn't happen if he was a human. So, for now, he'll deal with being a brown and darker brown swirled tabby kitten for just a little bit longer. Purrrrrrrr.....

A Cat Au, where Lance becomes a cat and hell ensues.

“Well, maybe you should go find a better, more serious Blue Paladin who's more useful than I apparently am, Shiro!”

Lance gunned Blue's engines, rocketing away from the Castle and across the planet they were currently trying to form an alliance with, away from the city and away from the boiling argument he'd just had with the Black Paladin. They nearly broke the sound barrier with the speed they were flying at, but Lance just had to get away. He couldn't stand seeing that angry look on Shiro's face. The one that was usually filled with fond amusement or seriousness during battle or planning. He couldn't get it out of his head, the fight they'd had during the strategy meeting on the diplomatic approach to the alien colony down below.

He'd just wanted to go down with the team that was to speak with the city leader, but Shiro had told him that he would be better elsewhere, away from the city's population. He'd asked why, and got a “Because we can't have you flirting with the wrong alien and lose the chance for an alliance, Lance.” in return. Of course, he'd tried to say that he could be serious when he wanted, only to be rebuffed because he was “the joker of the group” and his people skills weren't exactly helpful in this situation.

Lance, having become tired and increasingly frustrated during the past year they'd been in space, finally blew up at his former hero. He was so sick of always being pushed aside in favor of someone else. Tired of trying to help only to be scorned and grumbled at, tired of trying to keep up the fake act of being happy and trying to cheer up the others, tired of being nobody special like the others. As soon as the words had left his mouth, he'd bolted for Blue's hangar, not noticing the shocked and horrified faces of his team and the Alteans he left behind in that hologram lit room.

Blue growled in concern, and he finally landed her in a field of giant green and gray flowers that looked vaguely familiar. He stumbled out of the cockpit and in a fit of childish anger, roundhouse kicked one of the large green flower trees. He threw back his head and screamed in frustration, the stress that had built up and torn into his chest bubbling up and bleeding out into his voice. He punched the nearest tree, barely registering the pale golden silver dust filtering down from the overhead petals and getting into his hair, giving it a shiny glowing sheen. “Why?!? Why am I not good enough?!?” He wailed, punching the tree over and over, leaning his head against it and furiously fighting back tears. Blue whined, worried for her Paladin. Lance didn't hear it that well, but as the anger and frustration faded into sadness, he suddenly realized it was getting really hard to breathe, and that the air felt really dry and dusty for some reason.

Coughing, he pulled up his arm to rub at the strange, almost gritty feeling on the back of his neck, and noticed that his jacket was covered in pale, fine dust that shimmered in the white light of the overhead sun. Right. He wasn't in Paladin armor because the planet had breathable air. Ha. Breathable air? Lance was choking on the... sudden burning feeling... in his throat… oh shit.

Gasping, Lance stumbled away from the tree he'd been banging his bleeding fist on, since the bark of the tree felt like rough glass and scraped his knuckles, and clawed at his throat, trying to hack up the fireball currently traveling down his windpipe and into his lungs, where it got even worse. He screamed, this time in agony, as his whole body felt like it was on fire. Blue roared in panic, activating her ice cannon and freezing the offending plant and surrounding area, covering everything within a ten mile radius with ice.

Lance stumbled and slid, collapsing onto the ground and convulsing, tears streaming down his face as he burned alive, feeling his bones bake and his blood boil under his skin, and the last thing he remembered before blacking out was the screams of Blue as she scooped him up and activated her particle barrier, trying to filter out the air and get him to breathe again.

He woke up and regretted it, as everything ached and throbbed dully. He let out a soft, pained noise in the back of his throat and curled up tighter on the chair he had somehow landed on during the black, fuzzy haze from when Blue had tried to help him. He heard loud noises from outside, and felt the entire cockpit shake as something had picked them up and was moving them somewhere. His body felt strange and out of place, and way too small. He flattened his ears back as another too loud sound echoed outside his Lion, tail twitching over his paws as he looked around… wait. That did not seem right at all.

He didn't have a tail or paws, nor did his ears move. Blue purred with relief at the fact that he was awake, but rumbled with concern as she sent him a mental image of what he'd become. Soft, dark brown fur with lighter brown stripes, sock paws, ears and tail tip. Pretty blue eyes with slitted irises and four light brown spots lining under his eyes, swirls on his back like a river. A small black nose. Lance flinched. That pollen stuff or whatever, had turned him into a cat?!? No wonder he felt wrong in his own body, like he should be bigger but wasn't. Blue rumbled and sent him an image of Black and Yellow towing Blue back to the Castle, and how they were currently setting them down in the Blue Hangar. Lance curled in on himself, his clothes having been shredded during his violent transformation and ruined with blood that had been squeezed out from his rearranging body, and trembled in his seat. “I don't want to be seen like this.” He thought, panicking. Blue, acknowledging her Paladin's wish, kept her barrier up and her jaw locked, even as Black growled at her to open up.

Lance could see Hunk and Shiro out of Blue's monitors down below, Keith and Pidge also appearing to stand below Blue's jaw, all looking very worried. He snorted. They wouldn't find him in Blue. Well, not his human self anyways. He registered Black's commanding growl, and Blue struggling not to bow down to her leader.

“Not here, not here. My Paladin is no longer here, as he used to be.” Blue whispered mournfully to her sisters, showing them the blood splattered cockpit and shredded clothes, and the tiny, fluffy body in her Paladin's seat, trembling and scared. Black immediately ceased growling, and instead rumbled with worry, as the other Paladins all jumped or flinched, startled by whatever their Lions were sending them, and then Shiro began banging on Blue's barrier, frantically calling for Lance. Hunk looked almost sick, Pidge seemed like she was about to cry, and Keith was clenching his fists and tapping his foot against the ground.

Blue, feeling guilty that she couldn't have stopped Lance from getting hurt, finally bent down and opened her jaw, the Paladins all hurrying inside with frantic, desperate movements. Lance hissed and slid off the seat, scrambling for a place to hide, squeezing himself into a corner under the dashboard. Blue sent him waves of soft, soothing comfort, tinged with guilt, and he sent back the thought that it wasn't her fault, they didn't know, and it was okay, but he still didn't want to be seen like this.

“Lance!” Shiro was the first to reach the pilot seat, and Lance watched from his hiding spot as a look of pure horror flooded the Black Paladin's face as he saw the blood and torn up fabric. The others had similar reactions, Hunk covering his mouth and trying not to vomit, Pidge going as pale as a sheet of ice, and Keith making a choked noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob.

Lance let out an involuntary mewl of grief at the sorrowful faces in front of him. He didn't think that him disappearing, possibly being dead, would have them react like this. Pidge, with her sharp hearing, looked over to where he was hiding. She moved over, and crouched down, reaching in and feeling around for him. Lance hissed, and swatted at her hand with sheathed claws. The others made sounds of astonishment at the noise, and Pidge somehow got her hands around his wriggling, tiny form and pulled him out, gasps echoing in the Blue Lion as they saw Pidge holding what looked to be an Earth kitten. Lance mewled again, wriggling around, trying to fight the tired achy feeling in his body, but Pidge was cradling him close, and he was just exhausted from all the stress of the day, and he slowly settled into a barely awake, half alert, ears pricked state of being in his friend's warm arms.

Blue purred quietly in his mind, informing him that all would be well once he woke up, and he had nothing to fear for now. So, he drifted off, hoping that he could figure out how to turn back to normal in the morning.

//thats a wrap for chapter 1!!! next time is probably Pidge POV, instead of this weird all over the place POV i've been doing lately. Next time, kitty Lance gets tangled into things he shouldn't, and Shiro is an absolute wreck. Langst is kind of fun to write, ngl. *yawns * well, i'm going to get some sleep now, hope you enjoyed! I'm gonna go post this on AO3, too :) Night! (or morning, afternoon, whenever.)