#NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE THEY’RE BOTH TERRIBLE PEOPLE

[glitter50000]

We acknowledge that Baghra wasn’t a good mother but also that her own trauma and the environment they lived in had not helped at all in this house

[fingerguneds]

hi! could I ask for some stozier fluff, like, stan and richie go grocery shopping ( not established relationship but they both like each other a whole lot ) 💞 thanks!

heyy

thank you very much for your ask, i fucking loved working on this, hope you don’t mind my loose interpretation of your prompt..

_

Stanley doesn’t like grocery shopping. He hates it, actually: it’s stressful, it’s always about letting people bother you somehow, and it’s totally not worth it when there’s food delivery.

But newsflash sweetie, it’s New Year’s Eve and all the closest shops are bombarded with orders. He can’t even imagine a worse case of spending the last few hours of 2019th, maybe with an exception of having to be with his parents, but whatever. It’s still bad.

So there he is, with bananas, blueberries and two bottles of white dessert wine in his cart he’s sure gonna suck in all alone in his sitting room later this evening, deciding on whether he needs another head of brie cheese, when he notices a familiar mop of black curly hair by the cereal stand.

There’s no way he wouldn’t recognize Richard Tozier from the communication and design department. He’s one of the loudest, brightest and most charmingly gorgeous people in their company, and if Stan ever tells you he hasn’t been having a huge, fat crush on him for the last few months, he’d be the ugliest, most pathetic liar.

He’s a good liar, though. He’s excellent at ignoring his fluttering heart every time Richie walks in their department to share a word with Eddie Kaspbrak, the most pleasant coworker of Stan’s in his personal opinion, or casting his best cold-eye when at parties they accidentally end up sharing a table and the guy, because he’s actually nice to everyone, tries to start an odd conversation about broken vending machines on the first floor or the fucking weather.

Why? Because Stan’s a pussy. He’s already really, really attracted to this black-haired mess of a person, with his ridiculously dark eyes with stupidly long lashes on a damn weird face one wouldn’t call pretty, because of that big nose, covered in bright specks of freckles that burn on cool paleness of his skin, or large, red and plump-lipped mouth; but would totally still define as beautiful, because those eyes are not just dark — they’re the colour of reddish pine bark after it’s been raining for hours; because that skin is not just pale — it’s like absolutely white marble with rare blue veins in all the rightest places of the man’s slender body; because his features, although weird and uncommon, somehow create a loud and charismatic pattern that attracts an eye, that makes you want to look, to inspect, to...admire.

And that’s what Stan’s been doing. Admiring from afar, because he’s a coward, too sensitive to let someone this loveable, loud and easy-going in. He’s too protective over his heart, he doesn’t take risks, he’s too fragile for his own good, and one more thing — even though Stanley secretly thinks he’s better than everyone, there is no way someone like Richie would want to do anything with him. He’s the most adorable with everyone, that’s in his nature, and thank god Stan smart enough to know that and to be aware that he’s not special — that Richie flirts with anyone, holds the door for every goddamn person in the office, checks up on every other stranger in an elevator, and although this still makes Stan’s dick ridiculously hard, he also almost dies on the spot when Richie turns his head a little bit and after a moment of surprise breaks into a grin. Stan, like a good goddamn liar he is, shoots him a quick nod of recognition, throws the bloody cheese into his cart with a bored expression and decides to get the fuck out of this place before his heart decides to break his ribcage into pieces. As calm and collected Stanley Uris is on the outside, he’s just as chaotic and messy on the inside.

He walks towards the end of an aisle as casual but fast as possible, as if his feet are on fire but he’s used to it (which is true, metaphorically speaking), and just when he’s ready to hide from Richie behind another row, something much, much more terrible than bumping into your big fat crush slash occasional wet dream happens to him.

“Stan!”

His heart drops down to his feet, when he recognizes the voice. He keeps walking forward, hoping for an earthquake, a sudden alien invasion, The Judgment Day — anything to save him from this most unwanted encounter, but of course nothing happens. A big tenacious hand still grabs his forearm, making him stop and turn, and this face Stan’s been successfully avoiding for the past couple years still appears in front of him, unchanged and familiar as ever.

Patrick.

See, he maybe wouldn’t be afraid of talking to Richie and making friends with him and maybe even going for more, if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s been in a relationship with one extremely toxic and emotionally abusive man, and although Stan knows all these things, he knows he only terrorized him because he’s an awful person, not Stan, he still—can’t not be affected.

Who in the hell’s gonna love a needy Jewish nerd with a fucked-up brain and a shit ton of insecurities, earned throughout his not-so-bright pathetic faggot life?

Only Patrick, with his huge, kind heart and a perverted kink for losers, lucky for Stan: shaming people for what they are first, than pressing further, and finishing up with messing them up completely.

“Oh, hi, Patrick” Stan says casually, shoulders relaxed, body weight kept on one leg, yet one hand clinging the cart’s holder so tight his fingers turn purple, the other one in a fist, nails professionally breaking the delicate skin of Stan’s palm. “Long time no see.”

Leaving your ass all those years ago is still one of my biggest accomplishments, asshole.

Patrick’s eyes sparkle wickedly and his lips break into a wolfish smirk. Stanley finally notices he’s not alone: to the right there stands a blond man, not tall, seemingly muscular, small blue piggish eyes squinting at him with an alarming amount of hatred. Just what the fuck.

“How rude of me, this is Dean, by the way,” he says, showing up their intertwined fingers. Stan doesn’t feel jealous or envious, to his own pleasure, but he does feel this wholesome wave of bitterness. Assholes shouldn’t get away with all the nasty things they do and then proceed to live their nasty lives like nothing happened, while people they leave crippled and broken still suffer with their demons.

Stan won’t give him the satisfaction. He breaths in and smiles politely.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” he says, totally aware that although he’s the lonely one here, he’s still prettier and, dare he say, smarter than that Dean guy. His mug...his mug is for sure a God’s creation, but boy, did he decide to go off with this one? Yes. And absolutely nothing says mind in those little dirty-blue pools of anger he has for eyes. He looks like someone who would tattoo their first lover’s name on their bicep. And make tik-toks in their truck.

“Nice set,” Patrick, the fucker, senses Stanley’s dominating vibe and makes another elegant attempt to ruin everything he’s been building up. “Here alone?”

Okay, alright, it’s gonna be tough at the beginning, but at least he’s not holding some Dean’s sweaty stupid hand—

“Love, I only found buckwheat pasta, it all must be taken already,” and now it’s time for the third thing to make Stanley discover a lot of new white hairs tomorrow in front of the mirror. Thank God he’s not dark-haired.

Like Richie fucking Tozier, who appears literally out of nowhere, with a pack of fucking buckwheat pasta in his hand, the kindest, warmest look in his eyes behind huge coke-bottle glasses he (of course) rocks the shit out, and a smile Stan’s sure gonna jerk off to for days.

“We could drive to Tesco if you wanna—“ he starts in another attempt to silently offer Stanley a helping hand, but cuts himself off. “Oh, I’m sorry, do I know you?” he turns to face Patrick and Dean with a ridiculous replica of Stanley’s own polite smile, and if Stan wouldn’t be this honest-to-god shocked, he’d definitely laugh at the sight of it.

Patrick looks...scandalized in the most precious way.

“It’s Patrick,” Stan says, thankfully without a tremble in his voice. “We used to date a long time ago. And this is...um, Dean, right?”

“Yeah,” Patrick nods, seemingly taken aback. “My current boyfriend.”

“Oh, my pleasure!” Richie exclaims, grinning widely. “Honoured to meet my man’s old friends,” Stan almost chokes at this, but suddenly there’s someone’s strong hand sliding on his waist, and a solid body, pressing against his side. “I’m Richie by the way, Stanley’s current boyfriend.”

An uncomfortable silence hangs then between the four of them, until Patrick licks his lips in a predatory way, and nods again.

“Alright, we better keep going. It was nice to see you, Stan, have fun,” he almost spits out the last words, and him and Dean quickly leave, just like a mirage Stanley would rather forget forever.

But not the hand, still holding him tight.

“You okay?” Richie murmurs then quietly into Stan’s ear, sending warm shivers down his body. Stan hopes his coat is thick enough for Richie to not hear how embarrassingly rapid his heartbeat currently is.

“Yeah,” he answers, nodding. As much as he hates to do this, he takes a step back, which allows him to look at Richie closely for the first time in his life.

And God he’s handsome.

“I’m—“ Stanley asks, but Richie cuts him off.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and although his eyes are still pleasantly concerned, his lips curve into a small guilty smile. “I didn’t want to spy on you, I just overheard that asshole—shit, sorry, I didn’t mean—“

“No, he is an asshole,” Stanley shrugs, still lying to Richie and himself. Lying that his body’s not still on fire, his brains are not melting into disgustingly sweet puddles of adoration, his palms are not sweaty and his throat is not drier than Sahara. “And thank you for...helping me out, I guess? You really didn’t have to do that.”

Richie looks at him with something Stanley can’t really understand in his eyes, and his smile widens, revealing two big front teeth one would call funny, but Stan honest to god finds them adorable. Like the rest of Richie, really. There’s no point in denying this, he’s gone.

“I know,” he says, and his voice is low, with a slight edge. “I just, I thought there’s no better time than the present, you know, and instead of making another New Year resolution I’m going to ignore, I could give myself a chance right here and right now,” the apples of his cheeks turn an impossibly lovely shade of pink, and Stanley wants to slap himself for being such a slut for this man. He collects himself without a flinch and finally pays attention to Richie’s words and frowns.

“I beg your pardon?”

Richie keeps blushing deeper and deeper in shade.

“Well, you see, there’s that adorable Hebrew in my friend Eddie’s department that I’ve been trying to court for months, but he’s either too dense to notice it, or it’s me who’s dense and is just too preoccupied to take “no” as an answer, you know? So I’ve decided to go off in 2020 and...basically crack my ass to make that boy be more clear, yeah? Because I’m crushing like crazy stupid, you have no idea,” by the end of his ramble, his face is fully red, and fortunately for him, he’s not the only one looking like a basic white tourist after seven hours under Egyptian sun without a hat.

“Did you,” Stan mewls, voice finally breaking like a bitch, but nevertheless, his chin is up and he’s professionally acting like he doesn’t look as pathetic as Richie. “Did you just call me dense while hitting on me?”

“Yeah,” Richie breathes out, and his smile is so sunny, and warm, and relieved that Stan can’t help but smile back, rolling his eyes nevertheless, because he’s what? Still a good liar. “Did it work?”

***

It definitely did, Stanley thinks two hours later, sitting in Richie’s barstool with a glass of wine in one hand, watching the other man cook that bloody buckwheat pasta and listening to his absolutely endearing unstoppable ramble about his secret passion for cooking and not-so-secret passion for Stanley. He really, really doesn’t give a shit about embarrassing himself, Stan realizes somewhere after the words “I got shitfaced and ugly-cried for hours at that party when you left the table exactly thirty seconds after I tried to initiate a conversation with you.”

It definitely did, Richie thinks in the next morning, waking up with Stanley’s curls in his mouth, his back pressed against Richie’s chest and their bodies wrapped around each other under lazy January sun.

_

i have to say i’m not a huge fan of fake/pretend relationship trope but this specific um turn of events when character a is in an embarrassingly lonely situation against their ex and character b abruptly decides to save the day and then they end up together for real...is the shit

[short-wooloo]

Sorry Pal but that’s not the case

Whooooo boy, I encountered one of those “Monty wouldn’t have wanted this” people on the comments section for the reuploaded Adam short

This is what they said: “Thank you Rooster Teeth for posting this so you can show us how you completely ruined Adams character and his threat as a villain and just turned him into a bumbling abusive boyfriend most of you are incompetent and RWBY should have been buried with Monty cause right now its just a hollow puppet of its former self that you guys are propping up on sticks.”

responses:

Don't you fucking dare invoke Monty's name to justify your shitty criticism, you did not know him, you did not work with him, you were not his friend, you don't know what he wanted

Also they never changed Adam

the original commenter replied: You're right I don't know Monty, I didn't work with him and i wasn't his friend but I've followed him since his independent days and I know one thing for sure Rwby wouldn't have become what it is now if he was still alive it would still be a respectable series. On the topic of Adam they completely changed his character from the calm collective force of nature who is a serious threat to the Rwby crew to a bumbling idiot who got easily angered and was killed to further a forced gay relationship. In season 3 Adam decimated Yang and Blake and from the time from season 3 to 6 neither of them got any training and killed Adam despite him being on a completely separate level from them in season 3. Don't attribute this to off screen training or some other garbage excuse like that we see exactly where Yang and Blake went and know that any training they did receive on screen wouldn't gotten either of them to the point where they could stand against Adam. Before you start yelling at someone stating their criticisms are shit stand back a bit and think about the sewage you're watching you fucking fan boy question the shows you watch dont just blindly engage.

more responses to the asshole: Wow, the arrogance of that, you didn't know Monty, you admit as much, but you still insist that you know how things would have gone, nice,

"calm collective force of nature"?

When was he that?  Hate to break it to ya, but the first time we got any real measure of Adam's character was volume 3, where I'd like to remind you, he was violent obsessive, and foolish, because that's what attacking beacon was, foolish, it didn't help the faunus cause, it justified the fear and hatred they experienced, as for obsessive, he stopped in the middle of his terrorist attack to torment a girl for the crime of leaving him when he became a violent monster, what other word is there for that but obssesive?

Newsflash, Vol 3 was the first time we really saw Adam's character in its entirety, and it was violent, obsessive, and foolish, Adam was changed from before Vol 3, he was barely there before, a short where barely talks (though what he does say is that he doesn't care if innocents die), and a three second bit before the credits role (where he states that despite the losses incurred from Cinder's schemes, he will make the White Fang continue to work with them)

On the topic of breaking things to you, here's a bombshell: Adam isn't very strong or powerful, his fights are against robots, white fang thugs, both of which we see Team RWBY taking down with ease (specifically, the robots he fights are the outdated versions of the ones Team RWBY takes down easily), and students, he never at any point fights a person who is on an equal or greater level than he is, he's not on a "completely separate level" than Blake and Yang, he's barely above them, and the fight where he dies is very close, and its not won by powering through to beat him down, Adam loses because Blake and Yang are smarter than he is, they worked together and changed their strategies while Adam relied on the same one he always had, and because he wouldn't walk away, despite being given multiple chances to do so,

Speaking of, his death was not to force a gay ship, adam was an arrogant, violent, murderous, abusive, racist terrorist, he died because he was an unrepentant villain, take away the relationship factor and he still dies because he's a terrible person trying to hurt others, actually put any Blake relationship in Bumblebees place and he still dies, to say that he died because he was a threat to the ship implies that he had a chance to get back with Blake, sorry but no, he didn't, if it was Sun or Ilia who died then it might have ground because they're actual suitors for Blake, and no he didn't die because he's a threat to their lives so they killed him to make it safe to be in a relationship because once again, that applies to any ship involving Blake, and by that logic no one can be in a relationship because Salem and CO. are a threat to their lives

[punkcherries]

get ready to rrrrrumble

jesus christ this is a long ass submission so uh puts it in a read more also puts my txt in bold so its easier to read 👍

Right, so I’ve just read everything that happened in the last few asks you got and I’m just gonna sit down and tell you this right now. You better strap the fuck in because this is long and if you’re not gonna read it, shame on you, because all of this is specifically about YOU and the problems people have with you (the people Blu mentioned). First off, I’m not Blu, so don’t go and start calling him names in your server because you’re finally, FINALLY, being called out on all the bullshit you do. I used to be your friend, I left on semi-good terms, and this entire thing is going to explain WHY I left + why you need to square the fuck up.

sounds like fun whoever u are

You need to get your shit together and seriously change yourself, but of course you’re not gonna do that, because you’re an incompetent piece of shit who has your head so far up your ass you can’t see all the things you do wrong. You act like you’re the person who suffers the most, and that anytime anyone is rude to you it’s THEIR fault, not the fact that you did something terrible to someone or that you started some drama. I’ve been fed up with this shit for months, and have been hesitant to say anything directly to your face, because you don’t even know me that well and we hardly talked. We did interact a few times, but those few times were absolute hell to me, because I must have literally retracted some kind of disease just from being near you. You are the fucking EMBODIMENT of tumblrina, and it’s so fucking sad because you weren’t like this before (based on what a few others have told me).

the use of tumblrina here is jus makin me laugh ur a funny guy buddy but i feel like my past self is worse thn my current self like past me participated in cringe culture so like ew

The way you talk? Absolutely fucking horrid. Sit the fuck up and talk like a normal goddamn human being. I’m here to talk to you, not to decipher some 57 commas and abhorrid shortening of words. Jesus fucking Christ Sombre, I can understand Internet slang and cutting some words up, but you fucking butcher the English language so bad it literally sounds like a toddler having a stroke while mashing at their keyboard. It’s “that” not “tht”, it’s “thing” not “thng”, it’s “something” not “smth”, and for GOD FUCKING SAKES IT’S “THE” NOT “TH”. ARE YOU LITERALLY SO FUCKING LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TYPE “THE”, A THREE LETTER WORD. I don’t give a shit if you’re talking like this to sound like an anxious uwu tumblr piece of SHIT, it sounds fucking IDIOTIC and it’s an ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE PAIN TO READ.

language is fake and is mostly just sounds we give meaning, im very sorry if you have trouble reading the way i type and id be more than happy to try and not speak to you like i usually do to everyone else if you just asked politely and talked it out with me (tho the idiotic part is accurate im not very smart lmao)

SPEAKING OF YOUR TUMBLR, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR UPSET.TXT TAG. If you think anyone is gonna pity you, SPOILER ALERT! THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. Unless they’re your shitty “friends”, NOBODY fucking gives a shit, alrighty? Speaking from my perspective and a few others, nobody’s gonna see this venting on their dashboard and give two shits. Unless they’re your mutuals, they won’t care and it just leaves a bad impression. It’s pathetic how when ANYTHING negative happens to you, you decide to take to Tumblr to boo hoo crypost about it. You wanna vent? You wanna cry yourself to sleep? Cool, talk about it on your server, NOT FUCKING TUMBLR, WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEE IT. This is just like how Facebook used to be, you see these posts of people posting personal shit and getting bit in the ass for it later, YEAH WELL THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW BUDDY. DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T FUCKING VENT ON TUMBLR.

i rarely vent on here dude like?? do you see the time gaps between the posts in my vent tag? its also my blog so i can post whatever i like as long as im not hurting anyone yo, plus the point of venting for me at least isnt to like get attention or sympathy its to let off some steam not to mention most to all of my vent posts are vague as hell so like…. why do you even care though?? if i get bit in the ass then thats my problem not yours

Right, so let’s talk about your “im gay” tag too! You identify as male, correct? That’s cool! Congrats. But you’re not gay if you clearly show an interest in girls. Doesn’t matter if they’re fictional or not. Your “im gay” tag is filled with girls (Bismuth, some anime girl, pinup girls). NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE! You’re male, those are females! Opposite genders! That means you’re NOT GAY! WOAAAAAH! So who are you to be reblogging and posting all this shit about how hetero people are the devil, hetero people are the worst wah wah, when you yourself identify as a guy and clearly seem to be interested in girls, even if just a little?

dude i used to identify as nonbinary i only recently started identifying as male, hell i used to identify as female ages back so like? the posts in that tag are most to all old and i do realize my attraction to girls isnt gay, hence why ive only been referring to my attraction to dudes as me being gay post-male identification i guess

Speaking of all the heterophobic shit you reblog, have you not considered it could make some of your followers feel absolutely terrible? I’m bi myself, I like both guys and girls, but holy FUCK when I see that shit on your blog it makes me feel guilty for liking guys at all! Is that how you want people to feel? Whether they’re pan, bi, or straight, that shit’s literally so fucking damaging and it sure as hell hurts to see! And don’t throw that “some of those posts are jokes” bullshit at me, because guess the fuck what! They may be jokes to people who aren’t hetero, but they sure as hell don’t seem like jokes to those who are! How would you feel if I made a joke that was even SLIGHTLY negative towards homosexuals? Wait, no, don’t answer that, because I already know how you’d feel. You’d get pissy, you’d stomp your little baby feet over to Tumblr, and then crypost about it, saying you’re facing homophobia and being harassed blah blah blah.

HETEROPHOBIC IM LAUGHING…. buddy…. pal…. heterophobia is fake and im very sorry if those post make you feel bad as a bisexual person (im also bi so) but heterophobia isnt actually a thing, comparing jokes directed at straight people to lgbtphobia is inherently lgbtphobic as it compares little jokes most to all directed at bigoted/ignorant straights to something that can often result in the actual literal death of hundreds of people for their gender/orientation- that doesnt happen to straight people dude

Also: you don’t have autism. Were you officially diagnosed? Because I’m gonna be real fuckin’ honest, it doesn’t sound like you have autism. You sure have something, hoh yeah, but it’s sure as hell not autism. You put your “autism” up on a pedestal and act like it’s one of the only things about you, like no hunty, your mental illness doesn’t define you. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Your mental illness isn’t an excuse to act like a literal fuckface, it’s not an excuse to treat people like shit, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to blame everything on others and make yourself out to be the good guy because “my autism made me anxious or forget things ;w;”. This is the exact kind of tumblrina thing I’m talking about, people on this goddamn website act like their mental illness is the only quality about them and that not being neurotypical makes them special. NEWS-FUCKIN-FLASH, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. You don’t see me using my mental illness as an excuse for my actions, because I actually step the fuck up and take responsibility for shit I’ve caused. My mental illness does not define me. There’s more to me than that. You need to realize that your fake-ass autism isn’t an excuse for you to be a fucking asshole to the people around you, and that your actions do have consequences. Stop blaming others for shit you’ve caused, stop calling people jackasses when it’s YOU who’s insulting people and twisting the truth, and for the love of God tell your white knights of friends to shut the FUCK up if they don’t know all the details of a situation.

i was technically diagnosed albeit in a nontraditional fashion (a psych at our middleschool was the one who diagnosed me) and i have never defined myself solely by my autism nor have i used it as an excuse for my fuck ups, ive literally apologized and stopped doing the things i did since the blu incident, i recognize i fucked up there and i apologized and i havent done the whole lying out of anxiety thing since, also my white knights of friends??? YOURE the one coming into MY inbox to tell me how shit i am after i blocked blu i literally just want this to be over leave me alone dude

Alright, so now that we’re done talking about YOU, let’s talk about your fandoms. You like Osomatsu-San. Okay, that’s fine. What’s not fine is how FUCKING obsessive you are about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking something and being attached to characters, making art of it, having a blog, reblogging it, talking about it, that’s okay. That’s okay! But you? You fucking hold the characters so close and act like they’re your own characters. You get upset when something doesn’t go your way in the show. This was evidenced by how many times you’ve complained about episodes (guess where? upset.txt) after they’ve come out. That anon about the straight joke? You got so heated over that, didn’t you? Saying Chibita was “out of character”, BITCH, what do you fucking know? He’s not your goddamn character! The writers will write him however the fuck they want. It’s THEIR fucking show, it’s THEIR fucking characters, and it’s THEIR decision of who does what and who acts like what. There’s a VERY thick line between canon and fanon, and you can’t seem to distinguish that AT ALL. You merge your shitty headcanons with the canon universe, and when something doesn’t go your way, you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and go crying about it in your server or on your tags.

youre blowing that ONE FUCKING POST so out of proportion ive never complained abt ososan in upset.txt outside of MAYBE episode 4 and that would be because of the NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENE i KNOW my headcanons arent canon i KNOW that the chibita/snowtoko complaint was MINOR and i fucking LIKED THAT EPISODE A LOT!! i didnt cry i just felt that based on how the staff have characterized chibita up until that point it was a little jarring to see him react like he did THAT IS ALL! what the fuck!! how would you even know what i talk about in my servers!! youre obviously misinformed my guy!!!

Lemme tell you something, Sombre: Karabita isn’t canon. OH SHIT! I SAID IT BOYS! THAT’S A FUCKING CURSE ISN’T IT!! No, sorry, sit the fuck down and suck those tears up, because it’s true. It’s not canon. It isn’t. You grasp at straws to say it is, but it isn’t. Chibita wore somehing blue? Oh shit, it’s Karamatsu! He’s clearly in love with him! No, sorry honey, that’s not how it works. Of course Chibita would feel pity on him and let him stay with him (ep 24), because who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean they’re dating. Karamatsu may be the most bisexual person ever, but he sure as hell isn’t dating Chibita (at least, not canonly). Speaking of Chibita, you need to stop acting like any other Matsu x Chibita ship is literal hell. They’re not. There are some decent ones out there, and although they’re rarepairs by now, they’re a lot better quality than the Karabita bullshit you spew out.

me saying karabita is canon is a joke, and my disdain for non karabita matsubita ships is based half in coping reasons and half in chibita has literally no chemistry with the other matsus and seems to not like any of the other bros at all whereas hes actually shown some level of tolerance or interest in karamatsu

While we’re on the subject of non-canon ships, Atsutodo isn’t canon either. Fuck’s sake, they were on screen together for 10 damn seconds. Yes, I’m aware there’s card art of Atsushi and Todomatsu having a meal together, but they’re very clearly not dating if Todomatsu is still going out with girls and holding their hands etc. Oh, speaking of Todomatsu: Your trans hc of him? Generic as fuck. He’s not trans. Call me a transphobe, I don’t give a shit, but he’s not trans. Look at the -kun animes. He’s a guy. Where in his life would he have magically been a girl and then go right back to a guy? The time span between a 12 year old and a 21 year old isn’t long enough to allow you time to transition. In that day and age, it wasn’t even acceptable to be transgender. So none of the Matsus are trans, get that out of your head. Get those “autism hcs” out of your head too, because I KNOW you hc Kara and Jyushi as autistic (and I’m aware you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic too, but we’ll get to that later).

i know atsutodo isnt canon i never said it was all the “x ship is canon” jokes are about karabita and theyre jokes dude, i just think atsutodo would be cute. why the fuck do you even care about my trans hcs?? theyre HEADCANONS they dont HURT ANYONE and like dude there are trans children out there….. stop being a fuckface about simple headcanons what the fuck.

Lemme tell ya something. Karamatsu sure as hell isn’t autistic. Literally the only reason you headcanon him as such is because you yourself claim to be autistic and because “uwu he’s m fav,,,, i relate to him,,,”. Also, I realize “jyushi is autistic xD” headcanons are common, but JESUS FUCK it’s time for them to die. Jyushimatsu is just bizarre in and out, it’s his personality and his way of life. If you’re gonna hc him as autistic for his personality, you’re obviously ignoring his physical abilities. What about that time he cloned himself? Grew different sizes? What about how he seemingly has no bones (tentacle arms)? But oh, let’s ignore that, because he’s always got a smile on his face and he has a childish personality so DURR HE’S OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC. Also, you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic, but as soon as you started hating him you threw that headcanon out the window. This is PROOF you only headcanon your favorite characters as autistic, and that’s some of the STUPIDEST shit ever.

literally just let people headcanon what they want if it doesnt hurt anyone, im sure in canon theyre not autistic but this is HEADCANON. and is this also to imply that just because a character can do bizarre thing with theyre body they cant also be autistic?? what the fuck does that have to do with anything??? and i didnt throw my autistic ichi hc out the window because “i hate him” i dont even hate him im indifferent to him i hate his fanon incarnation because its stupidly out of character and one note, i also didnt even drop the autism hc for him i feel like he definitely 100% could be autistic but i just dont think about it as much because i think about other characters more than i think about him

Oh yeah, I’d love to hear why you hate Ichimatsu so much? Shut up, I know it’s because “hhhh he abuses kara” but that’s fucking wrong. Listen, Ichimatsu isn’t exactly my favorite either but at least I don’t make him out to be a fucking asshole to Karamatsu. All of the brothers have treated Karamatsu like shit at one point or another. They’ve thrown things at him, ditched him, called him names, ignored him, it’s a fucking trope in the anime that Karamatsu was the one to get hurt. Sure, season 2 has kinda turned that around, but the whole “Ichimatsu is bitter to Karamatsu” thing is the dynamic between them. They DO have moments where they’re not onto each other, though. See how Ichimatsu followed Karamatsu into the woods? Remember the episode where they switched clothes? They didn’t kill each other neither of those times, did they? And yes, I’m aware Ichimatsu has hurt Karamatsu at times (the bazooka, I think smacking?) but he doesn’t LITERALLY ABUSE HIM. You don’t see him kicking him around, PUNCHING HIM, HITTING HIM, EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE. Yes, he calls him names. Yes, he’s threatened to hurt him (“I’ll kill you, Shittymatsu.”) but he’s been stopped or HAS stopped every time. If he really was so intent on hurting Karamatsu, don’t you think he wouldn’t ignore his brothers and hurt Karamatsu anyway? But no, he didn’t, and he stopped each time he grabbed Kara. That’s because the entire “Ichimatsu despises Karamatsu” thing is a GAG in the show. It’s meant to be funny. It’s not meant for your negative ass to label it as abuse and then boohoo about it every time Ichimatsu is mentioned. That’s not a valid reason to hate a character, hell, even Karamatsu’s seiyuu said in a Doramatsu CD that Karamatsu was just comic relief. And if you’re gonna look for a reason why Ichimatsu dislikes Karamatsu, consider the hinted and well-supported reason: Ichimatsu “hates” Karamatsu because of how confident he is and how he can always be himself. Ichi is insecure. Ichi is antisocial. Kara, on the other hand, can express himself and show how “cool” he is. Consider that Ichimatsu wants to be more like him, hence why he said he’s the “number one Karamatsu boy” in that one episode.

okay this is just ridiculous i DONT HATE ICHIMATSU and i KNOW its a GAG, i KNOW they get along sometimes i KNOW all the brothers have shat on kara I KNOW THIS abuse takes many forms though and in a more serious anime the way the bros treat kara would probably be depicted as abusive, but it isnt a serious anime so its a gag and i understand that thats FINE, did you even watch the ichimatsu incident? ichimatsu got plenty fucking pissed off at karamatsu and stuff and the “number one karamatsu boy” nonsense was him being concerned about how karamatsu might think of him as such not him calling himself a karamatsu boy, and yes i know the whole ichi wants to be cool and confident like kara thing i understand that but even so that wouldnt logically excuse his bitterness toward kara but again, its a gag anime so its whatever, youre also ignoring the facet of his disdain towards kara being in part because kara is also vain and ichi finds this annoying and thinks kara is fake as hell because of it there was something in i think a magazine where the bros are all asked what they think of eachother i think and i THINK ichi said something along the lines of him not liking kara because he fakes being nice for the sake of his own ego or something (which is likely ichi just having a negative image of kara rather than that actually being the case because i dont think karas that smart but who knows i dont!!) so like y’know

In conclusion, I would like to say you need to shut the fuck up and chill with your fandoms and headcanons, realize headcanons aren’t canon, and also get your head out of your ass. You’ve done so many wrong things and need to stop blaming them on others. You’ve lied, insulted, and put the blame on so many of your old friends, you’ve avoided people who you deem “toxic” (simply because they have different opinions than you), you think people can’t form their own opinions, and you don’t back up your friends when they’re getting shittalked. You act like an assoholic brat and cannot, for the life of you, open up your eyes and see this. You’re lucky the dicktwats on your server are there for you, because if they weren’t, you’d be all alone, and honestly? That seems pretty good at this point. Fits you perfectly.

i know headcanons arent canon, i know ive lied (though ive really only insulted people who were dicks to my friends and maybe blu which probably not a good thing but i mean hes also insulted me so?? even i guess??) and i regret that, im more honest now and try my best to show kindness to people who have done me and my friends no wrong, ive only ever put blame on blu i literally dont blame anyone else for anything, i dont avoid people i deem “toxic” i avoid people i dont get along with because if i dont get along with them then theres no reason to talk to them im gonna let them live their lives, of course i think people can form their own opinions what on earth are you talking about???? when did i not back up a friend when they got shit talked?? i dont remember that but id like to deeply apologize if i ever did, unless youre talking about when someone in my server insults blu over ykno… him not leaving me alone and harassing me when ive done nothing but mind my own business since the incident, then while it was kind of uncomfortable for me because i felt it was the wrong thing to do i couldnt exactly muster the words to protest it. im very sorry you feel that way im always trying to improve and i like to think that im making some level of progress in being more sensitive and kind to those around me. but also dont insult my friends they didnt do shit weve been minding our own goddamn business this entire time blu is the one who started it back up again.

Now, go back to crying in your server and soaking in self-deprication, fuckass.

yknow i get the feeling i know who this is but i dont want to jump to any conclusions so, uh, okay! see ya my dude :0c

[sixmorningsafter]

Chapter 14 Review - Intimacy and evasiveness in equal measure

Thank you so so much for this chapter; you are freaking awesome. At this point, your fic is longer than most PhD thesis. You’re completely bonkers, in the absolute best way. Please never change. Seriously, the level of interactivity in this fic is such fun and thank you for encouraging that. Some of the recent fancasts have been beyond amazing.

Gabi: “the level of interactivity in this fic is such fun” - you mean how I take fifty fucking years to respond to reviews that legitimately make my life!?!?!?!?! THAT LEVEL OF INTERACTIVITY!?!?! LMAO, gurl, can I just say before I dive into any of this that this review literally made me go back and edit some parts, that’s how helpful it was, and yet here I am, answering it an entire CHAPTER LATER!? For some reason the feedback for fourteen was really slow at first and then all of a sudden like 10 giant reviews came in at the same time, and I just took way too long to get around to all of them and kept answering the short ones first (because they take less thought/time), and then once I was done answering the short ones I was drained because I’m weak and wouldn’t survive the winter. BUT HERE I AM. Ten years later. Ready to friggin go. LET’S DO IT.

Firstly, I can’t believe you stopped before the Steroline sex! Rude. I would have been devastated (melodramatic OTT much) had you not given us one of the best SC kisses ever. Honestly, I think I might have sighed a little out loud. And after Stefan’s stupid assed, jealousy mental meltdown, Caroline demonstrates exactly why he has no need to be jealous in one sentence - “Damon could do all those things without it once being intimate.” It’s really obvious that ‘intimate’ is a mental thing for Caroline, I loved watching the switch click in Caroline’s mind from non intimate to intimate. Oh Caroline - you poor silly girl, you’ve got it bad!

Gabi: So, the plus side of answering this once 15 is already up is that I don’t have to feel bad about blue ballsing anyone anymore, muahahaha. Steroline sex is officially up and out there and there’s no taking it back now. Re: 14, though, love alllll of these insights and the particular moments of theirs that you choose to compare and contrast. They’re both stupid levels of in denial here, but the good news is the end of 15 and hopefully the majority of 16 is a bit of a new era for them - one where they actually try, I don’t know, communicating? It’s going to be wild. 

The part where they are watching YouTube videos together and eating Caroline’s secret food stash (naughty Caroline keeping treats from the other inmates of 2B - tsk, tsk) was very sweet and surprisingly intimate in it’s own right. I love how they have elements of easy friendship that they don’t even seem to recognise. I’m very interested in how their sexy timez are going to go because they could be hot, sweet or kind of silly/jokey or maybe all three. I think it’s going to get intimate whether Caroline likes it or not; Stefan may even bust out some of his Disney Prince romance vibes. I’m so intrigued as to who their third wheel could be.

Gabi: I really enjoyed writing that scene for exactly that reason - that somehow, these two super awkward people with a bunch of confusion and tension between them keep finding themselves in random moments of easygoing camaraderie, and all it really takes for that to happen is time and/or a distraction. I’m trying to hint at a possible future for them that doesn’t have all of this drama, that’s actually driven by a genuine enjoyment of spending time together and light-hearted banter and a warm hum of affection, but their poor coping/communication skills from their past experiences are just getting in that way of it. And hahaha, re: sexy timez, now you know! Disney Prince romance vibes definitely happened and Caroline, well... had some conflicts with it. As for the silly/jokey thing, I wouldn’t rule that out just yet for future scenes.

I know you are trying to achieve balance between your characters. At this point, I feel I know a lot about Stefan, Bonnie and Caroline, but with Damon, he’s still a mystery.

I both love and hate that we don’t know more.

Love - because I know you are being all clever and writery and keeping it from us on purpose. That having us see Damon through the other characters’ eyes is a clever way of 'revealing’ titbits without revealing them. Even Damon’s internal monologue is super evasive and kind of shallow (compared to Bonnie’s about him which was downright hilarious and completely nuts especially the hitman, Bonnie the world’s most boring mark lmao).

Hate - because I am such an impatient spoiler seeking nut bag, I need to know everything! Look honestly though, if you had told me before this started that I would actually be interested in Damon as a character himself, not as Bonnie’s boyfriend or Stefan’s brother, I would have scoffed at you. See Gabi, this is the power you wield. Use it wisely! Mwah ha ha.

Gabi: SOOO it was definitely still in the typical evasive flashes-of-insight format that Damon’s PoV tends to operate in, but I think 15 hopefully gave you a little more of what you were looking for regarding him? His guard was forcibly down for a bit, and his head went more into his complicated relationship with his mom, and part of the reason why I didn’t tie his panic attack fully up in 15 was because I’m carrying that arc into 16. There’s definitely aftermath, there’s definitely Bonnie the Hufflepuff making him feel unsettling things and think more about his life, and there’s also some Kai/Damon stuff that’ll have echoes of Damon/Tyler. So much more Damon ahead! And GURL, you don’t even know how happy it makes me to hear that re: ‘if you had told me before this started that I would actually be interested in Damon as a character’. That’s like the biggest compliment to me for some reason, like it gets me so hyped, so thanks so, so much for telling me! It’s tough to get people to like characters even when they’re blank slates, so getting someone to actually come around to someone they weren’t about before is like YAAAAAAS. 

In all seriousness, Damon didn’t deserve the kicking he got from Stefan in the opening scene. Sorry Stef, that was uncalled for even if Damon did start it. While this scene was all about Stefan’s pov and his reactions, Damon’s evasiveness is totally in character. Even though he’s oh-so-not-bothered, Stefan’s assessment of him has to smart a bit. I hope these two crazy kids work it out. I need my drigh!brotp back together. (Quick aside about Stefan – I hope at some point, he’s going to fess up that it wasn’t about Damon, Bonnie, Caroline or even Elena. It was about his own feelings of insecurity. It’s like Bonnie’s rampage of self-destruction as the person most hurt by this is himself. It’s actually very canon Stefan.)

Gabi: He definitely didn’t deserve it, and I wanted to write it that way because I wanted to show that Stefan, like everyone else in this godforsaken headache of a story, is a flawed character who gives into emotional reactions and insecurity sometimes and acts out. Like I really wanted to make it clear that Stefan was in the wrong there, and I really wanted to do it at Damon’s expense because at the shallowest of glances, Damon would be the guy you’d assume can be asshole sometimes and Stefan would be the guy you’d label as the patient, understanding saint, and 14 chapters in, I really wanted to flip that. As harmlessly trolly as Damon can be to Stefan about Caroline, turns out that Stefan is the one who drew first blood between them, you know? And I think you’re totally right about the oh-so-bothered-but-not-really thing re: Damon - he’s been called terrible things his whole life, so he’s learned how to let them slide off him like butter, but even butter leaves a trail, you know? They definitely add up to a perception he has of himself that’s probably darker/less flattering than it needs to be, and Bonnie absolutely confronts that in 16. She’s kind of like, ‘hey, newsflash dark and twisty, you’re a good guy’. She has a little speech I’ve written out that I really like. Lots of feelsiness coming in 16, man. Including Stefan insights and realizations about insecurity!

I’m still super interested by Damon’s two identities. Are the two different dates of birth significant? Him not mentioning anything after Bonnie fessing up to poking in his wallet - evasive much? So he doesn’t take his Fell ID out normally? I need more details, here, stop trying to kill me.

Gabi: lololol, got a little more of this in 15! I’m not sure how much was obvious from the story because Damon’s thoughts about his past always come out super jagged when I write them (and obviously I know the whole thing ‘cause I’m making it up, lmao), but I think I gave enough to kind of explain why he had that ID on him? Maybe?

Bonnie telling him all about her sex dreams had him speechless and I loved that. Yes, he was very much – that’s ok Bon, sexy daydreams are fine, but I still think there was an element of him being chuffed about it. That was really cute; I liked that his reaction wasn’t to grab her and lay one on her - she did that instead (oh Bon, you saucy minx). I loved their kiss, so hot; I really like their connection, it has a more brutal honesty to it than Steroline’s. By that I mean that Caroline lets Stefan get away with more introspection because that’s what suits her, whereas Damon pushes Bonnie to lay out her soul for him because he really wants someone to do it back to him, deep down. I may be over analysing this and be completely wrong.

Gabi: LMAOOO, ‘you saucy minx’ - she really is. And Damon is all about it. And no, you’re 100% spot on in your analysis of the two ships, assss usual - I think that’s a brilliant way to put it. Damon doesn’t wonder as much about Bonnie because he pushes, in more ways than one, till she gives him answers. He’s confrontational. Blunt. And Bonnie needs that, because her insecurities and problems are so deeply, deeply entrenched into her that they’re basically covered in layers of cement. You can’t slowly uncover that, you need a jack hammer (vs. for Caroline and Stefan, the wounds are still a little too fresh and shallow for a jackhammer to do anything except make it worse. They need the gentle discovery). Damon’s a bit of a paradox in that he’s either 100% blithe and flippant and dgaf, or he’s 100% blunt and real talk, and generally he uses the first mode to evade and the second mode to investigate. Problem is, Bonnie’s a bit of a jackhammer herself, and I think 15 was the beginning of the tide shifting to Damon being the one under the spotlight. And we’ll see how he likes that moving forward. Payback’s a bitch.

Did I detect that Damon might have a slight bird phobia? A dove in your shower is never good, but he seemed more than a little nervous. Also how is his hand doing? Dr Bon needs to follow up her patients better. I am kind of surprised how prompt he was for Kai’s dinner. Does Damon have immaculate time keeping? Or he is genuinely terrified of Kai? I guess I’m kind of struggling to find Kai scary, a bit loopy, somewhat odd, but I was really surprised that Damon would be scared of him (I have blanked out the crossbow in his face episode). We know he can handle himself in a fight (thank you for that Caroline) and he’s survived that gunshot as a child. Damon strikes me as being hard as nails (except around Bon) - Kai should be a cakewalk. Does he recognise something in Kai that he might have experienced in his past? Chapter 15 should be illuminating - I really hope we get plenty from his pov. I can’t wait.

Gabi: You did and it was totally unintentional. I actually went back and read over the way I’d written it after this feedback and totally got the same vibe (it was meant to be humorous but definitely came across as a little deeper than that), so thanks so much for pointing this out! I did a few little edits that I think put forth a more accurate picture of both the bird reaction (annoyance, bafflement, Damon in general being a growly diva) and his immaculate time-keeping (which was definitely supposed to be the focus more so than any actual fear of Kai, which, lmao, I think 15 makes pretty clear doesn’t exist). I think I could maybe argue that getting attacked by a dove in the shower could carry a bit of trauma from his basement-with-rats days, but even so, he’d hide that, so. Edited and more accurate thanks to bomb feedback!

ANYWAY, THIS IS ONCE AGAIN 600 YEARS LATE but oddly, it was kind of fun answering it with 15 already written? In any case, I’m so friggin’ sorry it took me this long to respond, and your feedback, as always, is one of my fave things about writing this fic because it’s always so hilarious and insightful. Thanks so, so much for this review, and hopefully 15 delivered the things you were after and 16 will deliver them even more. LOVE YA, BABE!