#My silly fucking guy that I love to put in situations and torment <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[shockingshinx12-shinx]

Wes Weston

That is all

[taeiris]

okay guys here’s my crazy unsupported st5 theory that is mostly just me projecting my need for madwheeler bonding and drama and angst also byler duh

disclaimers: i never make theories so this is extremely messy probably, i know jack dookie abt writing shows i think of this as my own little version of what i would think would be very cool to happen, if this has loop holes dont ask me anything bc idk either

OKAY LETS GET ON IT

so first things first here is what i am taking into consideration for the theory to happen:

• mike pov, self reflection and introspection (he is gay and in love with will byers okay)

• madwheeler bonding, theyre both complex n misunderstood

• the upside down isnt just one dimension, i came up with this bc of how different the ud looks now

compared to when henry arrived.

to me theres like an umbrella dimension (yellow one) and others under it (blue one/hawkins ud, the void, etc)

this is also lowkey supported by the silly boobie diagram the writers posted abt

OKAY PREPARE FOR THE WORD VOMIT

in this silly theory of mine, a new dimension variant of the ud will be revealed in season 5, serving as a parallel to the void. this is where max is

OKAY another thing is this is also heavily based on those “leaks” that were going around twitter (for me at least) earlier when the strike first started. i remember a few of them claiming that we would get a deeper insight into mike and his own things, so this is my interpretation

this would serve as another vanishing, not really bc its shorter, but this time mike will be getting stuck in this other dimension, eventually finding max BOOM madwheeler serve

i mean look at them. the potential is insane

ANYWAYS

this dimension is like a combo of all the other ones, picture it like the hawkins ud, with the void’s wet floor maybe

lets go back to the fact max is here, this is her coma nightmare, its like this purgatory dimension vecna put her soul in

in this dimension inhabit your ghosts

this overwhelming, haunting, tormenting realm in your mind where you are constantly confronting all your bad memories, maybe this is kind of how vecna keeps max under his grasp, no happy memories allowed

okay so, mike gets there. how? when? i dont fucking know this is honestly just word vomit fanfiction to me

at first hes confused, scared but mostly confused, picture him screaming for wills name (the parallels) at first it’s empty and eerily quiet, but as he accepts it, the ghosts start coming in.

he gets BOMBARDED with these bad memories, some of them he cant even remember because come on, bro is always neglecting his internalized feelings/monologue in fear of what they say about him

this is where we get his pov on the whole will and eleven situation, amongst other things (like the way he’s constantly stressed thinking about the safety of the people he loves)

for a moment we see him break, bc these ghosts are LOUD and MANY

but it stops

max is here, she’s like “MIKE?”

“MAX?”

shes been here for a fat minute, she knows how to handle these ghosts in fact shes been going thru them one by one ever since, because shes done hiding. and she suspects that the only way to get out is by confronting them.

max saves mike from his ghosts, explains that this place is seemingly a purgatory with levels of memories and ghosts to overcome

this is how we get our madwheeler bonding we so graciously need, as they are part of eachother ghosts since theyre so similar it makes the other mad

this is how our complex misunderstood characters are broken down, explained to the audience, while also discovering the mystery that is this new dimension where at the finish line they might just figure out how to defeat vecna.

because they will

after overcoming the ghosts they find the place that vecna didnt think they would reach as he was so sure they would break and collapse on their own madness

think of it as how el found the source in season 3

or how max found vecnas lair after running away in dear billy

except this place is vecnas actual mind, they can see hear and feel what vecna is thinking, his plans and everything

mike wonders how will feels being able to feel this all the time

will feels this all the time

will is always connected to this piece of vecnas mind, to this source

he can always hear vecna

until he suddenly hears max… and mike and theyre calling for help

theyve figured out key clues on how to defeat vecna, and they have an idea on how to get out. this is how will’s connection comes in handy

mind walkie-talkie

maybe thats what this theory should be called, idk

-

so thats how we get our byler confirmation, madwheeler bonding like never before, mike focus, and the key to defeat vecna

at least in my head

i know this was messy and all over the place but it was very fun to explain and drop all my thoughts ive been vomiting on the gc for months now

let me know what you think, what you would add, if theres anything you think will support this theory?

its all just a theory, for fun! pls keep that in mind

thank you if you’ve read this far🫶

[transsexualhamlet]

I feel like Exposing Myself online today so here's a completely unasked for, in depth bulleted list explanation of why I kin which bsd characters. the short answer is i am very mentally ill feel free to come into my asks and roast me bc of this

NIKOLAI

first of all thats my gender sir. i wish to dress and present myself like him

superiority and individuality complexes to the extreme

would kill/die/commit heinous acts for my good sir fyodor dostoyevsky (and anyone else I cared about)

if i think about society too hard i want to murder everyone and am filled with existential horror and disgust

that good old deep set desire to make everyone i love despise me so they'll know who i truly am

"I am completely sane /neg"

if anyone slightly normal likes anything about me i need to change it immediately

every torment i experience is entirely on purpose and my fucking fault

every single way i am perceived is wrong yet please i need to be perceived objectively because i as a human cannot see myself from all angles

DAZAI

called the FUCK out by irl dazai's works

strong desire to fuck around and find out as in "if i am reckless and put myself into dangerous places and situations then I might gain calvin+hobbes style 'character' and my own feelings will then be valid"

acting silly and speaking of serious issues like jokes to distract from Constant Internal Crisis

my one true love, unhealthy coping mechanisms

no filter and no idea of what is socially acceptable

generally just kind of a shitty person who says "i'm gonna change" and keeps doing the same goddamn thing because they can't be bothered to go through the emotional pain so has just decided that they are a Bad Person and not do actually put effort into becoming better

"i hate pain" as an oxymoron

goes through elaborate hoops to make sure people don't think of them highly

hasn't managed to keep any friends from more than 4 years ago (for understandable reasons)

the mortifying ordeal of being known

deep emotional need for people to call me slurs so i feel special<3

RANPO

lists off the entire autism diagnostic criteria and related symptoms

i like literally every single thing i could think of that i kin him is related to neurodivergency ie:

his blunt style of speech, sounding rude, knowledge in academic areas but deficient in social, always a complete mess, different way of thinking about Everything, age under/overestimated etc etc etc

oh also i love his awful style he is wearing his tie backwards me too buddy

praise praise praise praise praise gimme gimme gimme gimme

takes any criticism absolutely HORRIBLY aka rejection sensitive dysphoria

POE

GENDER GENDER GENDER GENDER

desire to always have my hair entirely covering my face

spending insane amounts of money on people i care about

remembering people for years as a huge impact on my life and having them not remember me at all

trying to be "mysterious" and ending up just a huge nerd

always carrying around giant stack of books

literally always writing and a large amount if not all of my writing is to please those few people who understand me

KYUU/Q

kyuu is. not an important character and has not appeared since the guild arc. there is not much to go off of however i think it's very important

gender. i rest my case

i am not god's strongest soldier if subjected to any amount of pain i will scream and murder anyone i can to get rid of it

there is so much rage there is So Much Rage pent up in that tiny fucking body and if anyone underestimates me or provokes me they're getting the goddamn electric chair

i am just a little guy do not do this to me please sir im just a little guy and it's my birthday

hey besties if i were given the nuclear launch codes we would all be dead

horrible distaste for any medical professional and Extreme Problems with giving anyone especially said medical professionals access to my body or any knowledge thereof

objectively someone should probably lock me up

FYODOR

hey he's got stand up and pass out immediately disease same he is a frail young lad

give me my blood back it is falling out

hyperempathy and low empathy working together manifests as "we should all just die" disease which is objectively not true and never something you should base your political views on but it sits there in my brain it sure does

as like with nikolai society and living within it and the way it is structured ie capitalism makes me want to enter jeff bezos's house and start my life of crime right then and there

ROMANTICIZE ROTTING INTO THE GROUND WITH YOUR LOVED ONES BY GOD

not to be that guy but if i was in any way capable of helping i would so join the DOA excluding fukuchi fukuchi doesnt exist fyodor runs the doa and anything about fukuchi is a mass hallucination /j

and of course CHUUYA

I feel like there are many chuuya kinnies who have much more claim to him than me and I will cede that however have you considered short overpowered trans man who is always feeling 73 emotions and 60 of them are variations on anger

feeling alienated/like i'm an imposter at being human (although this is a theme of the whole series and nearly everyone in it)

i bite and kill medical professionals<3 (you can sense a theme here)

i always get adopted into friend groups and then they fucking Leave (thankfully not by dying in my situation. as far as i know)

i had my newly out transmasc era too chuuya *points at picture of 15 chuuya's outfit and haircut and general demeanor*

i know i have said this on nearly all of them but by god his gender

concluding this you can tell i am an on fire garbage can

[pinktatertots99]

similar to the last fankids i made a batch for my uh...universes i’ve been making. these kiddos are from an alternate. i’ll make the post in a bit but lets intriduce these kiddos first, including a returning face.

________________

your name is lellek vantis. your the child of three of the founders of your world. your described as a crybaby and not good at making friends except for your moirail canope. your like watching ghilbi movies, sewing with your ‘auntie’ jade (not really sewing you just take a leftover felt and pierce the needle through it but it’s a nice destresser) or listening to lo-fi tunes with ‘uncle’ dave.

-------------------

your name is july (jewel-ee) crocker. your the future president...of the crocker company. you have a facination in making sweets just like your mama and dad-uh-you mean ‘uncle’ gam gam, least that’s what they want you to call him...for now. when your not in your first grade class’s poking your sarcastic fun at misume your either dressing up with your cousin dandy and casey, at your mama’s bakery or seromoning gam gam’s church events whilst eating goldfish crackers and 7up...don’t tell gam gam he uses it for his converting events.

=======================

your name is misume serket and you wish to become an adventurer! your lussus gave you a couple stories of the famous mindfang, along with your auntsus (aunt lussus) when she’s back from her space adventurers to encourage your determination to get out by her own stories! you can’t now, but you hope to find her in your dream bubbles, cause hey dead people are there so that means she has to be too! meanwhile your busy doing boring first grade class’s and messing with july and your weird ass friendgroup that you only know cause of meetups.

+++++++++++++++++++

your name is canope. you have a facination for the magics thanks to your auntie rox and mumsie reading your auntie’s books to you. your also a fan of all the wizard of oz movies, your not sure how some fear the second movie it seems fine to you. your the moirail of lellek and do your best as the older moirail to get her into nice situations to have some fun in!

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

your name is eonape leijon. you love to fly, which is funny cause your olive bloods aren’t known for flying unless their falling, but falling you do not want you feel the urge to fly! so your busy learning to become a mechanic with your unsus (uncle lussus) equius to help you out while your lussus is out and about on her job. your flying love goes all the way back to the troll show jayjay the jet and movie plane’s 2 which you’ll still watch from time to time. your the moirail of hosani and rather energetic in her antics.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||

your name is hosani nitram. your the school bully of earcth’s elementary and like to torment good ol lellek just to get a reaction...unless her creepy af moirail or she screams happens but thankfully she’s too dumb to remember to use it. sides your trying to show a message that you won’t give a fuck who mess’s with you, no god’s child no highbloods, you got shit to pay to those higher ups despite your pops and uncle telling you not to. but in your meantime your busy hanging with your bud playing fiduspawn in your treehouse for the coolest of low trolls and checking in on your neighborhood critters, mostly the squeakrrles.

/////////////////////

your name is dandy egbert and your one fashionable dude. your well known in your class for coming in with different outfits everyday. somedays your a cowboy, others your sporting the sombrero, or feeling spicy you put in your trollsona’s cosplay. your a fan of many genre’s but you like the specific times they were shot like the 70′s and 80′s now THOSE had some sweet cinematography. your considered an ‘old timer’ despite almost being 10 but your pop’s kinda likes it, he says it’s a better hobby then clown figurine collecting...sounds familiar. your sister also gets in on it too dressing in attire related to the theme, she’s the true MVP as kids call it these days.

==> be the male seadweller. your name is eiseel english ampora and no before you ask their not together you just have a very weird family tree where mister ampora considers himself your ‘legal lussus’ but you spend most your time with mister jake and your matesprit’s ‘legal lussus’ aradia in the outdoors traveling and getting many injuries that makes ampora’s reactions humorous. you like the outdoor’s but your more of a tech guy if anything, carrying around a small electric line so you can chat with your bud’s and play match 3 puzzle rpg games. you wish you could live with your matesprit and his totally cool other guardian sol. you also have a weird facination for neon green, but ampora through a fit once so your sticking with an almost jade green, maybe mister jake’s fashion sense was getting to ya.

==> be the female seadweller. your name is reefay peixes. your a selectively mute girl who does fanfiction commissions...least for your moirail eiseel of his gold-blood self insert falling for his matesprit’s DnD sea mage character. you hope to become an author someday as your art skills aren’t up to snuff yet. your a fan of romcom’s and magical girl series bout friendship and subtle but obvious gayness, or maybe your glass’s count as shipping goggles who knows.

‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘

your name is anneck captor megaido and no your lussus’s aren’t together either...least you think? it’s simple but complicated just like mister captor who, despite being your caretaker your busy making sure he take his medication and help himself health wise as the pressing leader of earcth’s electrical unit of the whole world. thankfully not the universe otherwise you’d have bigger issues. despite some raising a brow at how you live in a humid basement full of electric units and one king bee (hehe) sized mattress you don’t mind really. your not one to go out for long which is why your not in the outdoors 24/7 with your actual lussus guardian, despite your matesprit wishing you would but most likely so you can bandage his reckless behind up.

<------------------------->

your name is haileq strider. your usually on a husktop in your dad’s workshop when he’s busy constructing the new mechanical machinery he and miss harley work on. you don’t have a hobby other then scrolling social media’s boredly with your inability to make a friend without being awkward bout it, even worse try to confess your flushed feelings for yal-...wait she shouldn’t say it oh fuck don’t send-

`````````````

your name is yale H attahock. your from an adopted carapacious family with two doting mom’s who have a habit of scratching your ears. your the ‘mom friend’ of your semi-blood family’s group of kids but it doesn’t help they keep running around town getting into mischief while the others watch from the sky, someone has to be eyes on the ground! otherwise you like to play soccorfoot in your school’s team the ‘hot dogs’ (funny your the leader but they made that decision to name it that.) or playing joystick games with your...’cousin’ who loves to banter in your playful family-esque relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

your name is jaspjoir also called JJ or ‘jasper jr’ on accident in some papers. your also from a carapacious family of your silly sweet pops’. your one for fashion thanks to your old mans and love for a good firework display and a hint of magic performances. you also like to have a good ol time teasing your cous with how lone of a wolf he is after certain events but you do have a soft spot for the kiddos he watches, especially lil ol july. you hope to play a game soon with your dear ol cousin and some of his lil friends sometime, sooner then later you hope ;3.

[wisenuf-blog]

I’m not a cuck, but I want her fucked

This is not going to be the ubiquitous tale of an aspiring cuckold, closeted bi male, depressed, sexually-frustrated married man, etc.  This testimony is only about me, and why I don’t identify with any of the popular labels that so many blog and forum commentors seem to immediately attach to men who write about getting excited by the thought of their wives being with another man. To start, I will agree that it is unusual, and is not the way many married men think.  I will try to skip over extraneous crap as much as possible.  I first discovered, or stumbled into this interest when I was 20.  I was married at 19, had a baby and we lived far away from our families.  My wife was doing well with the struggles of being so young and away from home, and had been able to recover well from childbirth.  We were healthy, had a large circle of new friends who were our age and in similar situations, and many of us would socialize frequently.  My wife was cute, petite even after childbirth, and had an ass that would wiggle and sway and we were always asked to go to the many house parties that were happening each weekend.  And she was a natural at flirting.  She enjoyed it immensely, and I did too.  As I remember, I liked the fact that my married and single friends would ogle her as she walked.  That was always fun to watch, and I still remember how she would enjoy having me tell her how proud I was of her ass.  And she would definitely wiggle it for the guys.  Then she went home to visit family, and I cheated on her.  And it was so easy, that it was ridiculous.  But I had cheated; we were young, committed to being together, and I had crapped on it all.  And I thought about it constantly.  I held it in for a couple of months after she returned, then had to confess. She was understandably hurt, but didn’t collapse from it, and I was relieved, because I still wanted her to be my wife.  After a while things seemed good again, and one night while lying in bed, I asked her if there was anybody she wanted to fuck.  I just suddenly blurted it out.  At the moment when I heard myself saying it, I thought that I had just gone nuts and said something that I never meant to say.  I remember thinking that I had finally done the fatal thing to us. Then, after a couple of seconds, she said “yes.”  I felt a movement.  When I asked who, she told me and it was one of our best single-guy friends.  And my dick became rock hard.  I told her I was ok with it, and we talked about for only a minute then it was clear that she was ready.  The next night I met with him and told him everything.  The night after that he fucked my wife in our bed.  I came home from work at 11 and they were still in bed.  I came in and saw a spilled drink by the couch with unthawed ice on the floor and the music from a vinyl album was still playing, (this was 1975) so I knew they hadn’t been in the bedroom for long.  I went out and sat in the car and jacked off.  Got tired of waiting and went inside and sat in the living room. I jacked off again.  Then they came out and he put his shoes on and left. She was still in a robe, and we went to bed.  There, I began to ask her details, and she was willing.  She told me that she was sore, so I didn’t try to fuck her.  She told me that he ate her pussy on the couch and that they were fucking with her on all fours when she heard me leave after I had first come in the house.  She said that moment was the “first” time he shot cum into her.  I rolled her onto her side and got close and put her to sleep. But I was so hard that it hurt. There were other minor details that she volunteered easily which helped me tremendously.  My wife had just gotten fucked by my buddy and she liked it, but she told me the answers to all my questions and when she realized that I was intrigued, she gave me more.  And that is what got me over being young and stupid enough to get into a jealous frenzy about it all.  Turns out, that she was what’s now known as a “hot wife.”  And I learned to love it.  And I did love her.  She asked if she could do it again with him.  And they did.  One night at a party at his house, she took a new married guy outside and sucked his dick, then came back in and immediately told me about it, right after I kissed her on her lips.  We later divorced, but remained close and fucked each other silly until she remarried. She was the one who taught me how to enjoy the sexuality of a hotwife without the trauma that jealousy can cause.

Wife #2 was completely different.  She was only concerned with herself.  Controlling was her mantra.  Deception was her method.  She was entertained by nearly every kink you could conceive of, but only when it didn’t involve me.  That marriage lasted longer, and nearly destroyed me.  The sad truth is that it didn’t have to torment me so much if there had only been open conversation about what she wanted.  

Wife #3 has been with me for over 25 years now.  We will never separate, we will die together. She is 10 years younger than I am and she has my heart.  She is very different from wives #1 and 2.  She is not flirty, not one to flash her nips like #2, nor wiggle her ass like #1.  But she has my heart for so many other reasons. And that is the crux of this whole thing.  I have had many girlfriends between wives 1, 2 and 3, and never did I notice the urge or desire to have them fuck another man.  Apparently, it only happens when I truly care for someone, which perplexes me. But with that said, about 19 years ago I sat my love on the couch and told her that I had the fantasy of her sleeping with another man.  The setting was that she had just told me that her old boyfriend was coming to their hometown for a week to play golf, and would I mind if she went to have lunch with him?  I had known about him and their story for years, and had also watched them communicate via email and phone the whole time we were courting and since getting married. I told her that I thought it was great, and yes, she should.  Then I told her that she should fuck him.  And then slowly told her about how I have always had the fantasy about my wife fucking another man.  I kept it simple, but explained a little about #1 and how this all started.  Her reaction was guarded, but intrigued.  I remember getting the impression that she was intrigued, but forget exactly what she said.  But I truly felt that she was leaning forward with it.  After a few minutes of me explaining that I felt nothing but excitement about it and was sure that she should just go and enjoy herself, she said that she didn’t know if she could do that.  I told her I was ok if she didn’t want this, but she should go and enjoy the visit anyway.  So when she left to go there, the plan was that she would stay at her mom’s, but while driving she lled and asked if I would mind if she just got a room.  My dick got real hard; she never told her mom that she was coming!  Of course, I said ok to the motel, and told her that I stashed some condoms in her purse, and said that I hoped that she got lucky.  She said that they went out to dinner, and danced, and that he kissed her but didn’t fuck her.  I think she fucked him and have been jacking off to that thought ever since.  So it’s now 2019, I am far away from my love and telling her that she should date while I’m away.  She might, she might not, but I would love to know that she did.  And I’ve told her that I would ultimately like to watch a large dick enter her pussy, and even told her that I would like to grab that dick and guide it into her pussy.  I have also mentioned that I want to fuck her after someone has shot cum into her hole.  I also fantasize about licking her asshole while she rides another guy’s dick, because I know she will stop while I lick her ass.  Those are my ultimate fantasies.  I don’t think of them as meaning that I’m gay, bi, cuck, or anything else.  I don’t know how to identify a good-looking male, I don’t think about sucking another guy’s dick.  I don’t want her or him to shame or humiliate me, and tell me to do anything; I just want to know that she’s enjoying a good fuck.  And I can give her that, and I do. But I also visualize her getting hot and bucking wildly with someone, and I get hard, very hard.  And any of the scenarios that she’s comfortable with are ok with me.  But I just want to know about it if it happens.  

[orionsangel86]

Episode Review - 14x01 - Want, Everything, Sunshine, and Beyonce

Hellatus is over everyone! Put away the crack memes and shit posts and bring out your meta caps because we are back in business! Oh boy are we back in business! 

Right before @tinkdw came over to watch the premier with me, we discussed our expectations and both agreed that whilst our expectations were pretty much in our boots, we would consider the episode a success if it was even remotely meta. We wanted to be able to see clearly constructed themes both as a continuation of what had come previously and as a foundation for a strong season going forward. We were both hoping that at least from a meta perspective, that the episode would leave us happy and thirsting for more.

Dabb did not disappoint us.

It was such a strong episode meta-wise. There is a lot to pick apart that is ripe for discussion and I seriously hope that Dabb will keep a close eye on the other writers to ensure that these themes continue throughout the season. Plot-wise it was a weaker episode, but then again Dabb has always focused on the character emotional arcs more than the actual plot points in recent years, and I am grateful for that. The second half of season 13 felt stagnant to me simply because there was little to no character development and from a meta perspective it was also extremely weak. I went into this hellatus feeling negative about the show simply because I hadn’t actually enjoyed an episode properly since 13x12. However, the season 14 opener was most definitely enough to quench my thirst and get me excited for the coming season. Fingers crossed it goes from strength to strength.

Long review under the cut

Michael!Dean - What Do You Want

Straight in after the introductory Nyoooom of Baby (driven by a grim looking Sam and a pretty impressive swap from title music to diegetic music), we are introduced to the angel of the hour. 

8 Things about Michael:

1. I am not sure how I feel about Jensen’s performance right now. He is playing Michael extremely straight and whilst I can see how this cold, calm portrayal can come across quite terrifying, it’s not a carry over from Christian Key’s performance. I don’t want to be too critical, because we only saw him in a few scenes so far, but when I compare it to how Tahmoh portrayed Gadreel alongside Jared, and the way Misha pretty much nailed Mark P’s performance (and greatly improved it), I guess I’m still waiting for Jensen to WOW me in the role. The one thing I will say is that he did terrify me and managed to come across creepy when acting alongside his own WIFE. So he's doing something right I'll give him that. When Jensen wants to have chemistry with someone, he does.

2. I like the fact that Michael’s goal right now seems to be to educate himself on our world. He’s not running around causing terror and mayhem like Lucifer, he’s learning how best to go about “improving” the world. He also appears to be inspiring people with his words: “Holy men, leaders, killers” and we have seen the effect he had already on Kip the Demon - who was inspired to run for King of Hell until Sam Fucking Winchester ruined that plan. I wonder if we will be seeing the fallout of Michael’s specific type of inspiration throughout the season.

3. “What do you want?” Obviously this question is an important one. It was repeated like six times throughout the episode, though never to the main characters. It looks like this is going to be the theme of the season and as far as TFW’s personal journey’s go, this is now the question we are asking them and the question being explored. What does Sam want? Or Cas? Or Dean? This has an endgame flavour to it that has me extremely excited. 

4.Michael’s own personal want of “A better world” is a follow on in a way of many of the villains that have come before him. For seasons now we have been exploring this concept of improving the world for the better. We had it first in season 8 when the brothers had the goal to do the trials to make a world without demons, in season 11 Amara’s vision was to destroy so she could reshape the world to her own blueprints that she saw as better than Chuck’s. Dabb era has been even more obvious, first with the goal of the British Men of Letters being “a world without monsters” which was shared by Mary wanting a better world for her boys, and then in season 13 Jack’s arrival floated the idea of “paradise world” to Castiel. I don’t think Michael is gonna fair any better than any of these others, and wonder exactly where all these escalated versions of “a better world” will end up. It's all exploring the notion that nothing is black and white, but in fact a grey area.

5. I already discussed Michael and Sister Jo here. Cas mirrors... Cas mirrors everywhere... I also side eye the "pretty things" line because it reaks of Dean and his whole sublimation thing. In that sense it seems Dabb is making Jo a mirror for both our boys. I'll be keeping a close eye on her from now on.

6. ”Why would he say yes to you?” “Love”. OH DEAN. Just, Dean wasn’t in this episode but my god did we feel his presence RIGHT HERE. And to think there are people out there that still think this is a macho mans show about macho manly men. I’ve never known another character with more heart than Dean Winchester. This show is about LOVE above all things. I wish people would stop trying to deny that fact.

7. Radioactive Pigeon:

Look I’m not trying to be critical okay it’s very pretty and this is the FIRST time they have attempted showing an angels true form and that is amazeballs and all, but still. He has little pigeon wings and a bent halo. Pfft.

8. The Purity of Vampires. I actually love this. I think it comes across a bit silly on the surface, but the whole idea of monsters being pure is a massive callback to purgatory and season 8 and anything that calls back to season 8 makes me happy. 

Sam Fucking Winchester

Excuse me while I scream HELL YES. I have been waiting for Sam to take on the leadership role for AGES. Honestly this was always my dream endgame for Sam. To organise and lead the hunting community. There’s your better world guys. It was something that the writers flirted with in late season 12, but at the time Sam only took on the position with Dean’s approval and encouragement to go ahead. Sam has always stepped back and let Dean take the lead throughout the show as the big brother and parental figure. I think this was always a role he was destined to fill and something that has been building in the subtext for a long time (much the same way as the toxic codependency has been shown to hold Sam back.) 

What’s of interest here is what will happen when Dean comes back and is fighting fit. Will Sam relinquish his leadership position to Dean? Or fight for it? Will this cause conflict? I read this amazing meta on this which turned into an epic discussion and I highly recommend reading it. My HEART.

Sam’s state in the episode is one of constant motion. He cannot stop for a second, always being pulled from one thing to another. He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t get to change out of his hideous blue and orange shirt (which is officially now my favourite Sam shirt), he doesn’t even get to finish his soup. I know Jared said that Sam had a ‘grief beard’ but Tink and I are adamant that the beard is simply due to the fact that Sam doesn’t get the time to shave. He has taken so much weight on his shoulders and in amongst that has to deal with horribly traumatic things such as face the face of his abuser and actually be a healer to him. Sam doesn't get a moment to himself and spends all his time concerned about others. It's very noble of him, but he's going through the motions.

Sam is the contrast here to both Cas and Dean, who are physically and mentally stuck in their awful situations. Sam is also stuck in a way, stuck with no time to actually contemplate the situation he has got himself in. Stuck without a moment to breath, or to grieve his brother. Stuck holding the weight of the world on his shoulders as every other single character looks to him for support, help and guidance. Sam is the motherfucking Beyonce of the episode, that is for certain.

He is also calling the shots on hell now...

(x)

... I find it amusing that back in the early days Sam's destiny was to be the boy king of hell, and it's almost like he's fulfilled that destiny, not by being king, but by being gatekeeper and in a position powerful enough to scare the demons into submission. This is probably what Crowley intended. Sam probably owns the moon now.

About Nick - Well, first of all, I TOLD YOU SO. I did say that I could tell the guy from the back of his head and I was damn right about that. Learn to trust me guys I am occasionally good at this stuff. Okay, now that that is out of my system, let’s talk about this. Round of applause for Jared in this scene. Because he takes Sam’s hell trauma extremely seriously and made sure that every nuance, every twitch, was picked up by those camera’s. I loved that. Potentially Nick could be a good way to help Sam heal in the coming season, as Sam has finally freed himself from Lucifer’s grasp. Is it fair that he should have to look after the face that tormented him for years? No. Not at all, but could it prove somewhat cathartic in the end? Maybe. 

At the end of the day, Dabb must have considered Nick to have a purpose beyond “I want to give Bucklemming something to play with so they don’t fuck up my actual story” and “We need to keep stroking Mark P’s ego for some stupid reason”. Because otherwise I am really worried about how limited his power must be, and refuse to entertain the thought that he was overthrown by Singer and his horrid wife. I can see the potential in Nick being a dark mirror for Dean following his freedom from Michael’s possession. How Nick deals with the post possession trauma could be an indicator to how Dean is really coping even when he buries it.

At the same time, both Sam and Cas have been possessed by Lucifer, and therefore have all the experience between them to help Dean’s recovery without needing Nick to get involved. So I dunno guys. I’m trying to see the positive in something I otherwise despise. 

Anyway I thought Jared was fucking superb in that scene and pretty much the whole episode and want to give him a round of applause because it is rare that he truly gets to shine on his own without Jensen by his side.

Now all we need is for Sam to get some sleep. How he is still functioning by the episodes end I will never understand.

Castiel Everything Winchester

(x)

Look at him. So defiant and done. You can almost imagine that fire behind him burning in his eyes as well. He’s such a dom.

Several things about Cas in 14x01:

1. He is 100% done with every demon on the planet and doesn’t give a fuck. Honestly though. The way he says “Oh God” when Kip walks in. The way he rolls his eyes. I wonder if he had Dean’s voice in his head saying “You know who wears sunglasses indoors Cas? Douchebags.” 

2. He is making desperate choices in order to save Dean, which is certainly typical for him. The fact that he spends the entire episode stuck in a chair is a fantastic metaphor for his whole feelings on the situation, a metaphor then reinforced through a mirror at the end when he speaks with Jack (we never get anything explicit with Cas do we?). The fact that Cas can’t save Dean right now is weighing on him, but he is determined to do whatever it takes. The conversation he has with Sam at the end is a brilliantly short but important moment:

“I should never have gone to those demons”

“Cas no I don’t blame you. honestly I wish I had thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean I’d work with.. I’d do anything.”

The takeaway here is that actions speak louder than words. Sam HAS been distracted being leader of the hunters and having to face his own nightmares thanks to Nick, but Cas has literally been doing anything he can with a soul focus on saving Dean. 

It's an intimate moment between them. In a bunker now bustling with life and movement this is the only time in the episode that it really seems still. The library has always been Sam's private space, where he feels most at home - like the kitchen is for Dean. But here he and Cas sit as equals together weighed down by their shared grief. It's the soft moments like this that I love the most about this show. They are both willing to do anything they can, but the difference is that whilst Sam is being pulled in lots of different directions, Cas’s sole focus is Dean. Note that heaven wasn’t mentioned once. It hasn’t even crossed his mind.

3. Everyone Knows, but Cas doesn’t give a shit. 

“How is it you lost Dean, I thought you guys were joined at the... well you know, everything.”

It is an extremely explicit nod to Destiel. It is also the first time a line like this has made it into an episode since season 7 I think. The difference now being that we’ve had years of steady subtext and narrative building on the love story, hence the line has a different weight to those previously. It was very carefully written, careful not to imply that Cas was joined to BOTH Winchesters as the line was specifically about Dean. It was written by the showrunner, who would have known the significance of such a line, it encourages the view that all of heaven and hell have made their own assumptions about Dean and Cas’s relationship, and in case anyone wants to argue that the missing word was “hip” like the saying goes, the gesture and nod by Kip goes to prove otherwise. In other words, there is no platonic interpretation. Which is delightful.

Cas’s completely stoic silence is even more delightful. God I love him.

4. He can’t see demons true faces anymore. Like everyone else, Cas not realising those people were demons really threw me for a moment. Tink and I both agreed that the scene should have had Kip snap his fingers and have the demons smoke in and possess all those people instead - still catching Cas off guard but not making it seem like he is just super unobservant. I personally feel like this was just an error Dabb made. I have no desire to try to meta explain that one and I accept it as the error it is. I do like that it took an entire room of demons and 4 sets of enochian hand cuffs to overpower him though...The fact that he had to sit there and watch his family be beaten and almost killed around him whilst he was helpless again, is an excellent parallel to Dean’s current situation and what he will most likely have to face in the coming episodes, and also a reflection of Cas’s mental state (as mentioned above), Coming out of this episode it seems like this will be another season where Cas and Dean mirror each other and walk similar paths in terms of growth and development - if only those paths would meet with a kiss!

5. He’s the bait. Tink found this line hilarious straight away, where as I had to blink and ask why because I obviously took offence. But once we started discussing it and realised the quadruple entendre it is I found myself applauding Dabb on his genius. Cas IS used as bait, by the SPN PR people. Because he’s Mister Popularity. He’s also the character who causes the most conflict in fandom, with those who love him so much they are bitter and mean and those who simply hate him often complaining about the exact same things but in different ways - leaving the regular fans stuck in the middle (Tink explained this to me with delight - how both anti’s and bitter!cas girls alike will latch onto that line for completely different reasons). He’s also potentially a queerbait depending on how you look at it. But anyway. Cas’s epic eye rolls in this episode were almost enough to rival Sam’s bitchfaces. I am impressed.

6. He takes no pleasure for himself. I am forever going to obsess over Cas’s relationship with human food and drink:

“Coffee has no effect on me.”

“Me either, not anymore. But its like with saltwater taffee or infants, you know I just like the taste”

Although we can argue his refusal is out of stubbornness to not give the demon the satisfaction, even when accepting drinks from the Winchesters he doesn’t usually bother, or will stick with water. Even if he is seen ordering coffee it is usually only to avoid looking suspicious in diners. We know Cas enjoys some food and drink, but Cas rarely allows himself the pleasure. Even in 13x14 when Dean offered him a beer, it remained unopened. A symbolic metaphor for Cas refraining from indulging in other pleasures? This is why I am so so desperate for Michael to ask Cas what it is HE wants. Lucifer stated that Cas was a “pleasureless dullard” and I want to see this theme continue. Cas uses his grace as an excuse not to indulge and I consider this linked to meta about the “sacred oath” of heaven and Cas being duty bound and numbed by his grace. But these are all elements for a bigger meta at another time and the moment in this episode is just another snippet of that.

7. He looks awesome framed in fire. I just really liked the set up of Motown Meats as the new hang out for hell, with its fire pit and orange glowy bar. There is a lot of general symbolism there but I enjoyed the flames framed behind Cas in every shot he was in. Because even though he was mostly stuck in this episode, that fire raging inside him didn’t burn out once. He WILL save Dean. Just as he promised to Jack at the end, even if he get’s battered, beaten and bruised, his determined stubborness to save his husband will win eventually. Cas is no longer the broken thing of seasons 11/12. He well and truly rose like a phoenix in season 13 and now it’s showing through, as it’s a mission fueled by his own passion and love.

Jack Winchester (AKA my nougat son)

Poor Jack, like his father he hasn't had it easy in 14x01. He is struggling with his humanity now, his usefulness, in such a clear mirror to Cas that it kinda hits you in the face. He is desperately seeking guidance from those around him. First in the form of AU Bobby who has clearly bonded with Jack following their experiences together in apocalypse world.

It is great to finally see the Bunker gym! A room we all have ingrained in our fandom hive mind thanks to a 100 destiel fanfics. We all know what's gone on in there. >.>

Throughout the episode, Jack seeks out guidance first with Bobby, which goes badly, then with Sam, which is interrupted, and finally with Cas, which is when he finally gets told what he needs to hear. I am really happy that whilst Jack has so many father figures now, it is Cas who truly holds that torch and is able at least somewhat give Jack what he needs near the episodes end. If only he had damn well given his son a hug!

I loved the conversation so much that I transcripted it here:

JACK: I’m fine.

CAS: You did well

JACK: All I did was get punched. In the face

CAS: To be fair we all got punched in the face

JACK: That’s not - Before when I had my powers I could have done something

CAS: Jack you don’t have your powers, and your grace should regenerate in time, but until then..

JACK: I’m useless. I cant kill demons I cant find Dean and Michael is in our world and I cant stop him.

I can’t do anything. I don’t have anything.

CAS: Oh Jack. That’s just not true. You’ve got me. You have all of us. You have your family.

And we are going to find dean and we are going to beat Michael and we are going to do it together. Because that’s what we do.

This whole conversation was PERFECT. Every line chosen so specifically and weighted with meaning. Urgh Dabb I fucking love you for this.

Jack starts with “I’m fine” which Cas knows by now means you are not fine but he has also learned to recognise that sometimes it doesn’t mean “leave me alone” as Jack was crying out for guidance and support here. 

The mirrored “got punched in the face” calls to attention the fact that Jack is a reflection of Cas himself here and everything he has felt both now and in the past.

Jack’s complaint about being useless without his powers is a fear Cas has carried with him since his fall in season 9. It’s something that still weighs on him and whilst Cas now knows his place by the Winchester’s side, knows that they are a family and that he is not just a hammer, I think that fear of losing his power and being cast out is still well and truly weighing him down. It will be cathartic for Cas to see the family accept Jack as one of their own even if he is “useless” and human. 

Cas’s “That’s just not true” when Jack says he is useless - his voice breaks and you KNOW Cas has had those exact same thoughts.

“you’ve got me, you’ve got all of us. You have your family” compared to You’re my family, I love you, I love all of you” compared to “We're family. We need you. I need you.” The difference is there is no ambiguity in the word ME. Dabb turned it around, but had Cas clear it up. It’s the same line every time. The only difference is the placement of each individual statement. If this isn’t yet another clear example that the “I love you” was specifically directed at Dean I don’t know what is. THIS IS A CONTINUING PATTERN PEOPLE.

The determined promise to save Dean at the end, right after he specifies the singular and plural because obviously Dean was on Cas’s mind at that point - Mister I Don’t Get Words Wrong over here knows exactly what he means.

I love this whole conversation, but as I said above, it drums home the fact that whilst the Winchesters and others may be sources of guidance and support for Jack, he only has one true father, and I think Dabb wanted to make that clear in this episode. Remember:

Fingers crossed for more father/son bonding between these two in future episodes.

Mary and Bobby

(x)

Baring in mind I was expecting 1 small Destiel moment in the episode in the form of a line from a demon. You have NO IDEA how happy this moment between Mary and Bobby made me. If anyone saw that inktober pic I drew for premier day of me and Tink gasping in shock at the screen, it was for THIS moment. My face lit up in delight.

I said at the start of this long review that Dabb picked his moments well. With every second counting from a meta perspective. This was one of those.

Tell me, anyone, when watching that moment, would you deny that there was something between Bobby and Mary? As homework I'd like you all to play this scene to your heteronormative friends and family, or even be brave and ask a bibro. Would ANYONE deny that it was intended to be romantic?! I highly doubt it.

And yet there was nothing textually explicitly romantic about it. There was NOTHING in this scene that hasn’t been filmed a thousand times between Dean and Cas. The fact that Dabb chose to write this extremely small seemingly unimportant moment, in the kitchen, and for Bobby to use THOSE EXACT WORDS. As I have mentioned several times already, Dabb doesn’t fuck around when using well known moments from past canon in order to reinforce the importance of a thing. Dabb LOVES parallels. He wrote Bloodlines after all. He also knows the fandom hive mind and the things we pick up on and latch on to. This was a very smart calculated decision to include this in the episode and I am LIVING that he did it. GIVE ME ALL THE BOBBY x MARY/ DESTIEL PARALLELS. 

...

I actually really liked Mary in this episode. There is so much discourse in fandom about her and whilst I find Sam Smith pretty cold and wooden, I have never understood the utter hatred of Mary as a character. Hence why I praise Dabb’s genius at this moment:

(x)

Because this line literally sums up her entire arc since her return. Tink and I paused the episode and basically flailed at each other because this is EXACTLY what Mary has been trying to do. She was in HEAVEN, with her BABIES and suddenly she is back on earth with two grown men who are strangers to her, telling her they are hunters and have suffered a life of HORRORS without her. So she ran. Hell, I would have ran too. She shoved herself into hunting because all she could think about was trying to make things GOOD for her boys. Trying to FIX her mistakes the only way she knew how: by HUNTING. She was drowning in the bad. So she found focus in trying to make things good. Like in this episode, she reassures Sam so much that he snaps at her. He doesn’t want to be reassured, and that’s fine. But my god this felt like the first time Mary has truly had a voice. I really weren’t kidding when I said that Dabb made sure every word counted.

OTHER THINGS

I am unsure how I feel about the title card:

Tink called it. I think it looks a bit odd, a bit too clean. I like the title cards to be grim and dark. Black angel wings though! And hey, at least the fiery halos in the title cards are perfectly spherical... so we know they CAN do it right...

*side eyes SFX team*

Kip as a wannabe Crowley was kinda fun for a one off episode but I am glad that they are stressing now that wannabe Crowley’s get killed. The last one we had was Bart in 13x08 who was very much the same flirtatious queer coded demon. I’m fed up with the villainous queer coding by now. It’s been done too often. Give me another Demon like Alastair or Ramiel or none at all.

“Asmodeus Kentucky Fried” DID ANYONE LIKE ASMODEUS OTHER THAN BUCKLEMMING? This made me LOL.

The fight scene at the end was really weird and overly long. I dunno why they decided on so many random slow mo and wooosh shots. the whole Mary slow mo throwing the blade at Sam was cringy. I wish they’d stop being experimental and stick with what they know! You think they’d learn after 13x23!

Maggie was a bit annoying. Why bring her along if she can’t fight? Also the random cuts to her reaction after Jack was angsty had me reeling. simply because in het couples that’s a brewing romance and that is a massive NOPE from me. I like her as an individual character, I DO NOT like her as a love interest to a 1 year old, and I certainly wouldn’t like some pining story for her where she falls for an unavailable guy. It’s not fair on her character. The one thing I did like was the “pointy end” comment. It reminded me of Charlie for some reason.

The throw away line about Ketch being in London looking for the golden egg Lucifer/president extractor. Nice closing of a plot hole there Dabb.

I liked the Jesus weapon expert hunter dude. He seemed quirky. Dead man’s blood bullets are an excellent idea. 

DETROIT. Why does everything always happen in Detroit? I swear one day they are gonna reveal that Detroit is like a central universal power hub where the walls between the dimensions are thinnest or something. I could go on about this but I am sure a better meta writer elsewhere already has and this is waaay too long so I’m leaving this here.

If you got this far. Kudos and thank you for sticking around to read my thoughts. Feel free to ask me anything about any of the above. If I could hand out cookies through the internet I totally would right now.

Basically I enjoyed the episode. I have since re-watched it a dozen times and it is really the meta of it all that makes me love it. The story IS weak, and there ARE moments that are a bit odd, or infuriating depending on the way you look at it, but the heart of the episode was classic Dabb. All character driven and full of meaning. I am extremely well fed after this meta feast, perhaps even enough to get me through the horror show that will be Bucklemming’s 14x02. 

So long as Cas continues to look like a sexy beast I’m sure I’ll get through it.

I’ll just leave this here:

God he’s such a dom. :P

[allthephils]

Repose

Word count: 2677 Rated M (mentions of sex, adult themes, sleeping beauty au)

Read on Ao3

Chapter 6

What are you willing to do?

What was he willing to do? Phil sat down on the closest pew and folded his hands under his chin. He didn’t know how to answer that question. There seemed to be an assumption that Phil was the key to all of this, that he and Dan were destined to be together and that only their love would satisfy the curse. Phil found it a little harder to breathe under all that pressure. Of course he loved Dan, he would always love Dan, but the truth was, he had moved on. He had loved again, more than once, if not totally successfully. He still felt that Dan was the person he would later describe as the love of his life, once he had lived enough life to say that sort of thing. The threat of losing him, not just romantically, but truly losing Dan, had brought buried feelings to the surface and Phil wasn’t sure if he could trust his own heart right now. Dan had made the choice, he didn’t want Phil. So why then, almost 5 years later, was Dan’s family so convinced that Phil was the one?

“Your highness.” Phil kept his eyes to the floor in front of him.

“Please, call me Danielle. This situation is too important for all of that nonsense.”

He lifted his eyes to meet hers and smiled slightly. “Danielle, I’m at a bit of a loss here. Dan and I haven’t spent any time together in years. I moved on and judging by what I saw in the tabloids so did he.”

Danielle huffed quietly and waved a dismissive hand. Adrian reached up from where he sat to take his mother’s hand and encouraged her to join him. She sat stiffly on the edge of the wooden seat.

“I’m just not sure if what Dan and I had is going to cut it, curse wise, I mean.” Phil considered the account of Dan’s health from his meeting with Prince Walter. “However, if my presence had even a small positive effect on Dan, I think it makes sense to try.”

“So you’ll kiss him?” Her voice was so hopeful, so frightened, it broke Phil’s heart to respond.

“No.” Phil took a deep breath as he watched her face fall. He wasn’t going to budge on this. “And I’m not signing anything. But what if I spend some more time with him and we see what happens? I was only in there for 3 minutes. What if I sit with him? Talk to him. For an hour or two or all day. They say that sort of thing helps coma patients.”

“This isn’t a coma.” Danielle snapped at Phil.

“I know.” He spoke softly. “I know. But it helped before, maybe more time with me will bring more change. I want the same thing you want, Danielle. I want Dan to come back to us. Let’s just take it one day at a time.”

Danielle nodded a small affirmation and Adrian breathed a sigh of relief, wrapping an arm around her.  

“Can we start now?” Adrian asked.

“What about the suitors?” Phil had almost forgotten about all that.

“We haven’t let anyone in since yesterday. They’re still lined up, people camped out.” Adrian stood and kissed his mum on her head. “We should be able to get you in without anyone seeing.”

“Ok.” Phil stood. “Let’s go see Dan then.”

He followed Adrian back outside. The walk to the guest apartments, where Dan was being kept, was fairly long. Adrian’s hands were in his pockets as he shuffled along. Phil wanted so badly to ask about Dan. How had he been these last few years? How was uni? Did he mention Phil often? What had he said? How did they get here? Instead he stayed quiet, understanding that it wasn’t time for his needs to be met right now. He could ask Dan all those questions himself and soon as he woke up so he resolved to focus on that and that alone. They entered a side door not unlike the one from the morning, walked down several hallways, and came to set of double doors. It was the interior entrance to the operating theatre, as it was known. Adrian and Phil stopped and stared at one another until Phil broke the silence.

“Would you like to spend some time with him first? I don’t know how much you’ve been able to see him, with all of this going on.”  

“Nah, he doesn’t even know I’m there.” Adrian kept his eyes down.

“Don’t say that. Of course he knows when you’re there, you’re his brother.” Phil put a hand on his arm.

“We weren’t close. I was such a dick to him. I’m the last thing he needs right now.” Adrian’s lip quivered.

“None of that matters, Adrian. You’re brothers. All brothers are dicks to each other sometimes. God, I used to torment Martyn at your age, but he means the world to me. Dan loves you so much. He told me. He talked about you and your future and he worried. He loves you.”

“Well,” Adrian looked at Phil. “he loves you more. So please just help him.”

Phil felt the weight of his role in this again, heavier this time. He wasn’t sure he could move. He tried to convey sympathy and compassion in the look he gave to this kid standing with him, this kid with so much to lose. Phil swallowed and heaved a deep, full breath. He squared his shoulders and stepped forward, opening the door. 

 The sun streamed in through Phil’s window, seeping through his closed eyelids and warming his cheeks. He arched his back, stretching under the covers, then curled around onto his side and buried his face in the pillow. He wasn’t ready to admit he was awake despite the assault of daylight. As he snuggled the duvet tighter around himself, it occurred to him that he was shirtless, in just his pants. His half asleep brain began to remember; Dan had been in his room, Dan had gotten him a glass of water, Dan had seen him shirtless! He had only moments to be mortified because his next memory was the feel of Dan’s lips on his cheek and his fingers in Dan’s hair. His heart fluttered and he stretched his legs, feeling the warmth of desire spread through him. Maybe it was silly to to feel anything but romantic about a kiss like that but Phil had long ago filed Dan in the 18+ part of his brain and there was no fighting it. Dan just breathing was sexy to Phil and the thought of him caring so sweetly for him, then kissing him so tenderly was, well, really fucking hot. He ran his finger over his chest and slowly began to move his hand lower on his body, eyes still closed softly. Just before things got really good, his phone rang out on the nightstand. He rolled toward the sound, grabbed his glasses and squinted at the bright screen.   

Dan: I had a great time last night.

Phil blushed. He felt like he’d been caught in the act and he laughed at himself as he formulated his response. Eyeing Dan’s last message, Phil typed.  

Phil: The most fun you’ve ever had?

Dan: I stand by that statement.

Phil: Thanks for taking care of me last night. No one’s ever done that for me.

Dan: You have a funny effect on me, Phil Lester.

Phil. :) I had a great time too. At least, the parts I remember were great.

Dan: Hmm. Do you remember stealing me away from Iris Spencer?

Phil: Yep

Dan: Do you remember laying your head on my shoulder on the balcony?

Phil: I do.

Dan: Do you remember biting me?

Phil: I’m sorry, what?

Dan: After we’d been on the balcony a while. We were talking about the stars, finding shapes. You bit my shoulder. You kinda clawed at me too.

Phil: Oh god. I’m just gonna go jump out the window now. Bye forever.

Dan: No! Don’t do that. I was planning on keeping you around for a while. Don’t worry, it was cute. I took it as a compliment.

...

Dan: When can I see you again?

Phil considered playing it cool, pretending to be busy again, but Dan had literally tucked him in last night. Maybe they were already past that.

Phil: Literally anytime.

Dan: Yay! Wednesday?

Phil: Sure. You wanna get dinner somewhere?

Dan: I’m kinda not allowed to go anywhere that’s open.

Dan: Sorry I’m not normal.

Phil: Normal is boring. You wanna come over here? I’m a terrible cook but we can order in.

Dan: I would kill for real life delivery pizza.

Phil: Hopefully, it won’t come to that.

Phil: 7?

Dan: 7 it is. I can’t wait. xo

 3 days is a long time to wait for a date with someone you’ve crushed on from afar for months. It’s a long time to wait when you aren’t totally convinced this isn’t all a dream. Phil tried his best to stay busy. He made a video and put it up. He filmed a gaming video. He did a live show and spent the whole time talking about Stephen King but thinking about Dan and he had lunch with Louise twice. He cleaned his apartment to a level that he had never attained before. Dan grew up at Windsor castle and is currently staying at Buckingham palace, so yeah, no pressure. Every little thing that happened, every cute dog, every strange encounter on the tube, he wanted to tell Dan. He mostly resisted that urge. Unfortunately, day drinking margaritas with Louise loosened him up a bit and he sent a selfie cradling his giant burrito in his arms like it was a baby. To be fair, it was a really big burrito, and Louise was egging him on mercilessly. Dan responded with a photo of himself, pouting, bottom lip sticking out, looking down at a plate of very dignified but very sad looking finger sandwiches.

“Gah, he’s so cute!” Phil held the photo up for Louise to see.

“Told you you should text him. I can’t believe you’re gonna do it with Prince Daniel. You’re so lucky.” Louise began reapplying her lipstick in a tiny compact mirror.

“Louise!”

“What? Aren’t you?” Louise said.

Phil felt flushed. “Louise, stop. I don’t know. I mean, maybe eventually. It’s only our second date.”

“You’re a stronger man than I, friend. I don’t like to wait too long. What if you really get to like him and the sex is rubbish. Anyway, He. Is. Fit. I’d get on that if I were you.” Louise snapped her compact closed.

Phil fanned himself with a menu. “Is it hot in here?”

Louise grinned, “So what are you guys doing on your date?”

“He wants pizza.” Phil slurped the last of his margarita.

“Cheap date!” Louise said impishly, “Where are you gonna go?”

Phil popped a chip into his mouth, trying to muffle his words. “My place.”

“Wait. What was that? Your place?”

Phil just kept shoveling guacamole into his face, trying to eat his embarrassment.  

“Your place?! Oh yeah, you're gonna do it. You are gonna do the deed with the prince!” She put her hand up for a high five but Phil just glared at her.

 Wednesday finally came and Phil stayed in bed as long as he could muster. At 2 pm, he was truly starving and very much awake so he dragged himself up and into the kitchen for coffee and cereal. By 4, he was showered and texting photos of potential outfits to Louise. He spent way too much time straightening his hair and perfecting his fringe so he looked edgy but not too edgy, cool but adult, like he used to be emo but has definitely grown out of that phase. By 5:30, he was ready and just sitting on the sofa, tapping his foot, alight with nervous energy and anticipation. He stared down at his phone, debating whether to text Dan. Maybe he should confirm? Just in case Dan got called away on important royal business. Was that a thing? He needed a bridge, he was never gonna make it to 7. They’d been way too casual the last three days. Phil just wanted Dan here in his apartment. He wanted to hear every detail of Dan’s week. What projects did he work on? Were those tiny sandwiches any good? Had he been thinking of Phil? Then it struck him, pizza! He couldn’t order pizza without asking Dan how he liked it. Just then he felt the phone vibrate in his hand and he jumped a little. Dan had beaten him to it.

Dan: Hey we still on for 7? Or did you come to your senses?

The butterflies in Phil’s stomach began to flutter about.

Phil: Looking for an out? Not a chance. My apartment has never been this clean and there is no way I did all that for nothing. I’m glad you texted though, what do you like on your pizza?

...

Phil: Don’t say pineapple

Dan: Pineapple

Phil: Oh dear, something has just come up.

Dan: Ok, Ok, I take it back. I like veggies, maybe pepperoni. Whatever you like is cool as long as it’s greasy and bad for me. You didn’t have to clean for me.

Phil: Um I actually did. You live in a castle.

Dan: It’s a very old castle.

Phil: Well my little apartment is noisy and dusty and small so lower your expectations, K?

Dan: Will do. I just wanna be where you are, Phil.

Phil laid his head back on the sofa and sighed.      

Dan: See you soon

Phil: Can’t wait

  I just wanna be where you are. That might have been the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to Phil. I just wanna be where you are. Phil got the sudden urge to change his clothes or redo his hair or clean something else. Problem was, he’d already tried every shirt he owned and his apartment didn’t get any cleaner than this. He checked the time, 5:45. He abruptly jumped up, grabbed his jacket, and raced out the door and down the stairs. The bakery was just a few doors down but they’d be closed at 6. In minutes, he was standing in front of Leo, who was carefully pulling cakes from the case. “Hey Phil, just closing up, what can I get you?”

Phil had to catch his breath from the hurry. “Hey.” He eyed what was left. No pigs, no pandas, just a sad, crooked faced bear. “Uh, I need dessert for me and a friend. Something special but also like, ready right now.”

 “You have a date?” Phil shifted and chewed his lip, cheeks pinking up, eyes smiling against his will. Leo raised an eyebrow and smiled widely. “Aw, she’s special isn’t she? I’ve got you, Phil. Let’s see. What’s her favorite color?”  

“I don’t know actually, it’s only our second date. He wears a lot of black.” Phil’s eyes darted around the case.

Leo turned and took two small cakes from the back counter. They were purple and black and blue, covered in flecks of silvery white and they shined like glass.

“Oh my god space cakes! These are amazing, I’ve never seen these before!”

“Just learned how. These were going to go out in the morning but they’re all yours. I’ll box them up.”

“Leo this is so perfect, you have no idea.” Phil pulled out his wallet but Leo held up his hand.

“These are on me Phil. Just invite me to the wedding.” Leo winked. “I hope he likes them.”

Phil’s pink cheeks went red and he took the small white boxes from Leo, rambling thank yous as he he backed out of the bakery. He walked home carefully and set the cakes on the kitchen  counter. At 6:45, there was a knock at the door. He’s early, thank god.

[i-w-p-chan]

Were You Thinking Naughty Thoughts? Part 2

Previous

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DayumThoseLegs: have you ever seen a guy so beautiful you cried?

PancakePrince: I have a mirror.

DayumThoseLegs: … DayumThoseLegs: I’m SPEECHLESS DayumThoseLegs: okay DayumThoseLegs: you’re right but that’s not what I’m talking about here

PancakePrince: it’s not? PancakePrince: have you finally grown bored of me? PancakePrince: are you tossing me to the side PancakePrince: to enjoy the company of a beautiful young thing?

DayumThoseLegs: honey DayumThoseLegs: you’ll always be number one in my heart DayumThoseLegs: I love you DayumThoseLegs: I’ll never throw you away DayumThoseLegs: I’ll be sticking so close to you it will make YOU want to get rid of me

PancakePrince: … PancakePrince: I love you too PancakePrince: no promises on never wanting to get rid of you PancakePrince: … PancakePrince: …I miss you…

DayumThoseLegs: I miss you too DayumThoseLegs: which reminds me DayumThoseLegs: we’re overdue for a date DayumThoseLegs: it’s been ages since we talked face to face DayumThoseLegs: where would you like to go and when? DayumThoseLegs: it’s your call

PancakePrince: well…

.

DayumThoseLegs sent LOOKATHIM. jpg

DayumThoseLegs: lookit my new kid

PancakePrince: I leave you alone for LESS THAN A WEEK PancakePrince: I… am not even surprised anymore.

DayumThoseLegs: GASP DayumThoseLegs: NOT SURPRISED? DayumThoseLegs: HAVE I PERCHANCE LOST MY TOUCH? DayumThoseLegs: CURSES!

PancakePrince: ‘losing your touch’?

DayumThoseLegs: guess the news about having a new member join DayumThoseLegs: having a new target DayumThoseLegs: being threatened with legal action DayumThoseLegs: (we may or may not be sued at the start of next month) DayumThoseLegs: and being stalked by Niijima Makoto DayumThoseLegs: won’t shock you huh?

PancakePrince: WHAT PancakePrince: AKIRA WHAT DID YOU DO PancakePrince: OF COURSE I’LL BE SHOCKED! PancakePrince: SOMEONE THREATENED YOU WITH LEGAL ACTION? PancakePrince: YOU MAY BE SUED? PancakePrince: I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A LITTLE BIT AND EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT PancakePrince: AMAMIYA-KURUSU AKIRA

DayumThoseLegs: … DayumThoseLegs: woah

PancakePrince: why is Niijima Makoto stalking you?

DayumThoseLegs: she may or may not be suspecting us

PancakePrince: do I need to mobilize? PancakePrince: drive some Shujin kids into berserk rage to distract her? PancakePrince: drive HER into berserk rage to distract her? PancakePrince: also. PancakePrince: WHO is threatening you with legal action? I need a NAME.

DayumThoseLegs: WOAH DayumThoseLegs: Goro slow down DayumThoseLegs: holy fuck what I wouldn’t give to have you in front of me so that I can kiss you senseless DayumThoseLegs: but I’ll have to deal with just blowing you-

PancakePrince: AKIRA

DayumThoseLegs: -kisses across the chat ;3 DayumThoseLegs: my, what did you think I was going to do, detective? DayumThoseLegs: were you thinking Naughty Thoughts? ;3 DayumThoseLegs: do you want me to send you nudes? DayumThoseLegs: just say the word~

PancakePrince: NO

DayumThoseLegs: I can FEEL your blush

DayumThoseLegs sent youmissthoselegsdontyou. jpg

PancakePrince: SJKDHAKJSDHKAJSHDASGHDAJS

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DayumThoseLegs: I don’t get how the public thinks you’re some pure prince. DayumThoseLegs: I would have never thought you’d be bold enough to whisk me into a corner in a TV STATION DayumThoseLegs: to have your wicked way with me D:

PancakePrince: I have no idea what you’re talking about. PancakePrince: are you trying to besmirch my good name? PancakePrince: I’ll have you know I’m a perfect gentleman!

DayumThoseLegs: tell that to my sore neck littered with hickies

PancakePrince: you should cover those up then. PancakePrince: don’t want people staring ^^

DayumThoseLegs: it’s already too late DayumThoseLegs: my kids saw them DayumThoseLegs: you better sleep with an eye open from now on

PancakePrince: oh? How bold… wicked thieves plotting to break and enter into a humble detective’s home to torment him…

DayumThoseLegs: HUMBLE DayumThoseLegs: sheesh DayumThoseLegs: they all heard what you said about the phantom thieves… DayumThoseLegs: did you have to do that? T^T

PancakePrince: who ate the last pancake again?

DayumThoseLegs: okay FINE!

PancakePrince: you mentioned once seducing me with your coffee? PancakePrince: I think I’ll take you up on that offer.

DayumThoseLegs: holy fuck DayumThoseLegs: Akechi Goro you devious asshole DayumThoseLegs: are you manipulating your way to coffee on my expense?

PancakePrince: AM I?

.

DayumThoseLegs: hey hon DayumThoseLegs: can I seduce my way into your work cabinet?

PancakePrince: no.

DayumThoseLegs: but HONEY

PancakePrince: WHY do you want to seduce your way into my work? PancakePrince: WHY do you HAVE to ASK ME ABOUT IT? PancakePrince: you and I both know you’d seduce your way in either way, so why ask? PancakePrince: don’t tell me… PancakePrince: it’s PT business, isn’t it?

DayumThoseLegs: I seem to be an appealing blackmail target

PancakePrince: you got blackmailed?! By who?

DayumThoseLegs: by none other than our dear student council president

PancakePrince: NIIJIMA MAKOTO BLACKMAILED YOU? PancakePrince: HOW did that happen? PancakePrince: (oh where are you Sae?)

DayumThoseLegs: now DayumThoseLegs: takes off shirt DayumThoseLegs: how many more articles of clothing do I have to take off before you tell me who the guy controlling shibuya and blackmailing high school students is?

PancakePrince: I don’t know. PancakePrince: I don’t think I should get you involved…

DayumThoseLegs: unbuttons pants

DayumThoseLegs sent imreadywillingandable. jpg

DayumThoseLegs: next the zipper goes down

PancakePrince: … PancakePrince: I think… PancakePrince: I think I can be persuaded. PancakePrince: go on.

DayumThoseLegs: my DayumThoseLegs: aren’t we hot and bothered today DayumThoseLegs: unzips pants

DayumThoseLegs sent icancontinueuntilyoucrack. jpg

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DayumThoseLegs: remember when I told you that I seem to be an appealing blackmail target?

PancakePrince: and then you proceeded to give me a strip tease by way of pictures. PancakePrince: of course I remember. PancakePrince: don’t tell me that you got blackmailed again…

DayumThoseLegs: well… DayumThoseLegs: when you put it that way… DayumThoseLegs: then I don’t think I have news to tell you sorry hon

PancakePrince: W PancakePrince: H PancakePrince: O PancakePrince: G PancakePrince: I PancakePrince: V PancakePrince: E PancakePrince: M PancakePrince: E PancakePrince: A PancakePrince: N PancakePrince: A PancakePrince: M PancakePrince: E

DayumThoseLegs: you’re totally pissed off right now… DayumThoseLegs: is it even safe to tell you now?

PancakePrince: the power of Loki’s berserk spell courses through me PancakePrince: it’s. just. A. name. tell. M. E.

DayumThoseLegs: uhhh DayumThoseLegs: Kaneshiro

PancakePrince: ‘kay thanks

DayumThoseLegs: Goro? DayumThoseLegs: Goooorroooooo? DayumThoseLegs: honey? DayumThoseLegs: fuck. DayumThoseLegs: me. DayumThoseLegs: shit! DayumThoseLegs: Goro no don’t put murder on your record you have a whole life ahead of you D:

PancakePrince: :)

.

DayumThoseLegs: one thing I’m absolutely glad for DayumThoseLegs: is that we were done with Kaneshiro quickly DayumThoseLegs: I don’t want to think what would have happened had we delayed…

PancakePrince: :(

DayumThoseLegs: don’t give me that face DayumThoseLegs: it was for your own good! DayumThoseLegs: can you imagine what would have happened to you if I let you go kill Kaneshiro?! DayumThoseLegs: I can’t let my bf ruin his life for just a lil’ tiny hitch I can take care of

PancakePrince: LIL’ PancakePrince: TINY PancakePrince: HITCH? PancakePrince: BITCH WHERE? PancakePrince: YOU GOT YOURSELF BLACKMAILED BY A MAFIOSO! PancakePrince: WHO KNOWS WHAT THINGS HE WOULD HAVE DONE TO YOU! PancakePrince: what type of decent boyfriend would I be if I didn’t threaten to murder the ones who harm you?

DayumThoseLegs: one with SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS

PancakePrince: AHAHAHAHAHAHA PancakePrince: SELF-PRESERVATION? PancakePrince: WHAT’S THAT?

DayumThoseLegs: sweetheart DayumThoseLegs: honeybun DayumThoseLegs: light of my life DayumThoseLegs: my heart and soul DayumThoseLegs: please DayumThoseLegs: please don’t

PancakePrince: … PancakePrince: alright…

DayumThoseLegs: I love you Goro you know that right?

PancakePrince: … PancakePrince: I DO PancakePrince: I KNOW that I swear PancakePrince: and… PancakePrince: I wonder… PancakePrince: you know that I love you too, right?

DayumThoseLegs: I… I do

PancakePrince sent icantbelieveimdoingthis. jpg

PancakePrince: alright. I’m indulging in some silliness don’t you dare not respond properly

DayumThoseLegs sent youresopreciousyouknowthat. jpg

DayumThoseLegs: to think I’d live to see the day you’d send me a picture of you doing half a heart with your hand DayumThoseLegs: for me to complete it DayumThoseLegs: there is hope for you yet :D

PancakePrince: noooooooo

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PancakePrince: HOW do you do it? PancakePrince: HOW do you keep getting into such situations?! PancakePrince: you’re probably not responding to your phone because you’re out for the fireworks festival PancakePrince: but please in the name of all that is holy PancakePrince: and not holy PancakePrince: please pick up your phone and see my messages because god knows I won’t be able to call you right now PancakePrince: holy shit Akira the hacktivist group Medjed just issued a challenge to the Phantom Thieves PancakePrince: WHAT are you going to do?

DayumThoseLegs: bless you babe DayumThoseLegs: as to what I’m going to do DayumThoseLegs: well… DayumThoseLegs: I still need to figure that one out

PancakePrince: I wish I could reach through the screen and strangle you PancakePrince: except I don’t want my appearance to get disheveled PancakePrince: I have a TV interview in a few

DayumThoseLegs: have fun babe

PancakePrince: oh I’m definitely going to have fun PancakePrince: by roasting you on TV PancakePrince: I hope you like my interview ^^

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End part 2

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