#My lmk motto is ''never love or trust anything''

[imminent-danger-came]

^ this is how i see you (/pos)

I'm absolutely honored

[tanghuyuj]

what’s no longer ours (or never was)

genre: angst, no fluff :c

pairing: non-idol!dohoon x gn!reader

warnings: heartbreak, uni au, not fully proofread, lmk if there’s anything else!

wc: ~1k ; requested ; @kstrucknet

synopsis: though you knew dohoon didn’t like you back, when he tells you he likes someone else, you realize a little bit more that the things between you two were never as serious to him as they are for you.

maia’s note: one-sided love sighh. unfortunately this was not hard to write bc i basically just looked into the old diaries of mine. rip. likes, reblogs, and feedback is always appreciated!! 🤍

NOW PLAYING: pink by wave to earth, i know you by faye webster, bubble gum by clairo

you wanted dohoon to notice.

or at least, that’s what you would tell yourself.

if one were to look deep down into your feelings, into your heart, they’d see fear. you were afraid of liking dohoon—of wanting to be more than this stubborn relationship you two shared.

why though? because you knew he didn’t like you back.

read under the cut!! ^^

even in moments like this, where his knees brushed against yours with no bother at all and his head laid in front of you, with his pretty bottom lip sticking out in a pout, you knew.

even in moments like this where the two of you shared earbuds, your guys’ favorite song, pink by wave to earth, playing, you knew.

he was too casual about the things that to you, weren’t casual at all. these were things that kept you up late at night, overanalyzing every little detail about it.

“ynn,” he whines in despair. “can we take a break from studying? pretty please?”

you shake your head in refusal. “hoon, the test is tomorrow. what’s our motto, again?” the nickname you use for him slips out a little too easily.

he exhales deeply, answering as if the words had been plastered into his brain time after time (and honestly, they have). “the grind never stops.”

you give him a small smile. “exactly.”

a moment of silence between you two passes as dohoon stares mindlessly through the cafe window and you productively go through your notes in an effort to study.

then, it breaks.

“yn,” dohoon starts.

you hum in question.

“i think i like someone.”

your world stops.

the grip on your pen tightens and the steady rhythm of your breath hitches.

you blink, trying to muster up a response.

“really?” you blurt out.

dohoon nods and continues people-watching as he speaks. “yeah. there’s this girl in my public speaking class.”

he continues, a smile growing on his face. “she’s really pretty. and, i don’t know, she’s a good public speaker too.”

now, your world is spinning rapidly.

you laugh nervously. “that’s cool.”

you don’t think it’s cool. nothing about this situation is cool to you. if anything, it makes you feel as if you’re suffocating.

dohoon grins, “it is.”

———

the walk back home is silent.

dohoon walks you to your dorm, stopping when he gets as close as he can to the entrance.

you two wave goodbye. this time, your hand doesn’t hold as much enthusiasm as it normally would, but dohoon doesn’t notice.

it’s when you enter your room that it hits you.

you slump against the door, knees folding into your chest.

one tear falls down your face, and then a second, and soon enough, the flood comes.

you knew that dohoon didn’t like you back. you knew, but hearing it come out of his mouth—hell, hearing he wholly liked someone else—made it clear. too clear.

it made reality not as far out of reach as before.

your phone dings.

you reach for it and slide it open. glowing notifications from the said boy you utterly love.

💬 hoon :/

‘seeya in class tmrw!! ur gonna ace it but idk abt me lol…’

‘oh also!!! dont tell anyone abt my crush.’

‘actually ik u wont that’s why i trusted this with u’

‘my bsf, huh?’

‘anyways. gn yn!’

your stomach twists even harder as you read the texts word by word.

———

around a week later, you see dohoon with her.

your class had ended early so you decided to wait for him outside of his class. his public speaking one.

that’s when you see them.

walking side by side, hands brushing against each other. dohoon had a bright, wide smile on his face.

they pass with no acknowledgment to you.

they just didn’t see me. dohoon was just immersed in the conversation. he always is, is what you attempt to convince yourself.

but it doesn’t work, and a sense of paranoia lingers in your mind.

———

since that day, you’ve distanced yourself from him.

you haven’t reached out first, you haven’t waited for him, you haven’t done any of that.

but maybe you don’t need to.

dohoon hasn’t either, and you know it’s because he’s with her.

the stories with her, the posts, the matching notes, they are everywhere.

you’ve always known dohoon liked to share his relationships with others, whether it was friendship or something deeper. usually, you would enjoy it.

the way he’d insist you to put the other half of a quote in your note or how he’d post you to one of your favorite songs. you loved it.

but now, that glowing circle around his profile almost feels like a trap of doom to you.

once you press it, you spiral.

the girl is pretty like dohoon said. she has a bright smile like him and hair like a goddess.

and each time you click and see the stories, the more it builds up in you.

and to a certain extent, that build-up is bound to break.

on a monday evening as you sit in the same cafe that you and dohoon would frequent is when you take a deep breath before clicking on the circle.

it’s a picture of the two of them. her head resting on his shoulder, obviously deep in sleep, and dohoon, pinching her cheek with a grin.

it hurts, of course, but what makes you finally break isn’t the sight of it.

over the story plays pink by wave to earth.

your song. your guys’ song.

there’s no hesitation to it, even though you’re in public, as tears shamelessly pour down your cheeks.

you let out soft wails as the story continues playing and the song fills your ears.

that’s when reality sinks in fully and now, you’re drowning in it. your always of that song, the meaning it holds, is only to you.

to dohoon, it’s just another jam he enjoys listening to. maybe now, it’s even a song he connects to her.

but to you, it has always been for you two. a song you can’t listen to without being reminded of him. a melody that makes you picture him—his voice, the crinkle of his eyes, the warmth of his touch.

it was all gone, and now, theirs.

you turn off your phone. you are going to get over dohoon. you have to.

please do not copy, repost, or translate. divs by @/chilumitos

check out my other works!

[yvngbin]

hello i’m arriving to the party an entire day late and this is Not Surprising at All to anybody who knows me slightly well because i’m late to everything. said late writer is ya boy , felix�� ! i’m 20, i use he / him pronouns, annnd you don’t wanna know about me, you want to know about actual Nerd incarnate , yongbin .

his stats are here ,  bio is being rewritten because my dumbass deleted it from my drive , and all i have left to say is that you can like this if you want me to message you on here or discord to plot instead, since i’m usually faster on there … usually …

note: talks of surgery / birth defects,  &  kinda nsfw

⦑ felix. / 20. / gmt. / he/him. ⦒ woah ! tell me i did not just see cho yong bin walk past us, they’re the child of the cho family right ? they’re twenty three now, so i wonder if they’re here training to become an anarchist hacker. i heard they’re really intuitive & vexatious, so i’d say stay away from them unless you really wanna try your luck. no wonder they’re so notorious though, with the face of byun baekhyun i’d be interested in them as well. anyway, back to what i was saying. - yongbin, pain in the ass, and his most common sobriquet, zero ( name’s inspired by binary code btw ) , was a self taught anarchist hacker , but he sure as hell hasn’t been doing it for free all this time. he’s immensely adept and writes concise code and thoroughly enjoys annoying people and wreaking havoc in that precise order.

- hacker is kind of a blanket term, bin’s speciality was in blackmail, identity theft, exploiting vulnerabilities in various networks and systems, and causing all sorts of chaos online. when he was younger and before he was intimately familiar with the academy, he offered out his services to online rebel groups ( both good and bad ) and wasn’t officially apart of any system or group.

- this was subject to change a few years later when he was caught out on a slight mistake tracing back to his ip, assessed by an official representative of the school, who was impressed by his abilities and offered him an ultimatum: to join the academy or go to a detention camp.

- behind the screen bin was born with a pretty serious congenital heart defect. he needed surgery to survive, if only temporarily. every ten years or so, he’d have to do the same, with more or less no guarantee that they would all be successful. ( i would like to think that when he joined the academy some sort of technology maestro has helped him w / his respiratory issues so lmk if there’s a potential plot link there )

- bin is also an orphan who went through a very jaded system . he never knew his parents and frankly doesn’t care to know them, but little does he know that they have been tracing him from birth and were the sole reason why he got his place in the first place, ultimately unable to take care of him when their careers, both arms dealers, were too dangerous for a kid. his craft and experiences with life has made him instinctively cynical about his parents’ generation so like.. trusting an institution full of teachers their age was not and would never have been an ‘ideal’ for him. 

- his part time job used to be at a pc repair shop and he liked working there a lot, most people would question why he’d ultimately then go on to ruin a life he was happy with just to constantly risk getting into trouble. yongbin’s answer ? Because he’s Chaotic Neutral Thats Why

- socially, surprisingly unlike how most hackers are portrayed as nerds w sellotape on their glasses n a pocket protector ( he has a pocket protector but thats besides the point ) zero is outgoing in school and onwards, liked seeing what other people were interested in, pushing boundaries and keeping up with his friends just by listening and absorbing information.

- he isn’t exactly well liked, because his brain to mouth filter malfunctioned a lot of times which caused friction, But he definitely knows how to make and maintain friendships if you can handle him vanishing off the face of the earth and replying to your text from two weeks ago at 4 am like wyd

PERSONALITY

- zero’s life has mostly been not very fun, and he definitely realises this, but he’s not really the type to sit around and cry about it. mostly, he tries to take it with a stiff upper lip and a good sense of humour. he’s snarky and dry and enjoys getting into cyber-wars with other comp nerds in his limited friendship group. he definitely also enjoys sending lil viruses to other ppl in hearst just to let you know just how much your firewall sucks

- he’s got a real bad habit of getting wayyy in over his head with things. he’s like, a lil bit of a troublemaker — a back-talking, muttering under his breath, sneaking into places he shouldn’t, kind of troublemaker, but nothing too offensive. however, he sometimes gets into Actual Trouble because he makes the world’s worst choices and follows the world’s worst people’s advice. his personal motto is, “oh fuck. why?”

- he can be affectionate and immensely appreciative of anyone who’s genuinely kind toward him, even if his pride won’t let him come right out and say so. he’s p creative and resourceful — definitely can think you out of a pinch, even if he’s not so great at solving his own shit.

- friend wise, he’s attentive and thoughtful; sharp as a tack, funny as anything, and would totally rather help you out with your problems than get into deep discussions about his because opening that big ol book of issues is not gonna be fun for Anybody - romantically he’s inwardly pansexual for a long while but to people around him that probably.. wouldn’t be that big of a surprise. don’t talk to him about real love though he really is a computer machine with 0 emotions in that realm

tinie headcanon list because ive been slowly gathering them in my head for Days

-  has a handful of piercings on his ears , but the one he’s known for most is his labret piercing

- has a chameleon called cookie and donates to a dog shelter wherein his favourite stray dog ( known as flash ) lives. and yes he’s naming them after computer terms. no he wont Reconsider

- proud owner of 1 terabyte of hentai stored on his external hard drive that he’d gladly d*e for n is not ashamed of it in the slightest this zone is kink shame free !!!!

- loves to go exploring around the grimier parts of the academy and places you rlly wouldn’t expect him to be to clear his mind. abandoned classrooms, warehouses, etc.

- talk to him about conspiracy theories about alien life forms for a friend

- has absolutely awful hand eye co-ordination despite it playing in to a big part of their training so just know he’s probably dying first, or just teach him to throw a punch and not somehow hurt himself ? Blease

- sticks his tongue out while he’s hacking or doing anything that requires concentration. can’t multi-task and will ignore everything in his general surroundings to give 110 percent to whatever he’s doing.

- is a scorpio so sorry u cant trust anything he says i dont make the rules the astrological gods do

that’s all i’ve got up to now and i hope this gives you a bit of background into what he’s about. i think i’ll finish here before i write more trash so [ hacker voice ] im out