#My fave is a simultaneous one that happens on my torso on the same part but back and front
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Me trying to work out when my body is doing a horrifying new pain thing if it's part of the current pain thing or if I should like.... Alert someone lmao
#personal shit#Like I have a nerve disorder#But I think there's something new with my nerves#And I can't tell if I've just pulled something#And my existing nerve disorder is just over reading it as usual#The new pains are new exciting pains joining us#Or like it's something else#But I'm getting weird burning pain across my skin which is new and I believe is nerve pain#My fave is a simultaneous one that happens on my torso on the same part but back and front#Like someone is burning both at once#Dunno what that is about but I googled it and it's not a thing apparently#Why is my body such a fucking mess I s2g#Like ppl are like you're not just your disabilities!!#And like yes that's true but oh my god do they try and make everything about them
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My Dancing Doll [UPDATED]
A/N: Me, the last person who should make a new series when I have 6-7 more chapters of SNA, and God knows how many between TMM and KotN. But here’s a story since I’m starting to regret not going to an HBCU. It’s written for Ben since I did one for Kylo last time and KotN has Matt Feedback is much appreciated, let me know if I should continue. please. IT’S UPDATED AND IT’S BETTER! IT WON’T BE A SERIES JUST A NICE LONG ONE SHOT.
Basically based on this and one of my fave SU Dolls, Ms. Kayla Pittman
“So like that show Bring It?” Ben asked. A chuckle emitted over the phone. “Yes, but not exactly.” Y/N, his best friend told him. “I still can’t believe you moved all the way to Louisiana.” A pout formed on his lips. You chuckled once again: “You’re so dramatic, you choose to move away also, Mr. Harvard.” Ben just rolled his eyes. You two were inseparable and he never thought that even college would pull you guys apart, even if you called or face timed every Sunday, and practically text each other every day. It wasn’t the same for Ben. Hence him flying to Louisiana to pick you up for Thanksgiving so you guys can come home together. So why not invite him to one of your shows. “I can’t believe you’re a dancing doll.” He teased. “Oh my Gosh Ben, it’s not even like that you’ll see and then you’re going to want to come down all the time.” You were a Southern University Dancing Doll, it meant so much to be a part one of the nations most prestigious and famous dance teams. So what was the best way to explain to your rhythmically challenged friend than to make him watch Bring It? “Alright, alright,” Ben huffed. “Well, I can’t wait to see you Dancing Doll.” You let him off the hook with that tease. “Bye Ben, see you next week.”
It was so damn hot in New Orleans, Ben wanted to peel off all his skin. “Jesus Christ,” He wiped the sweat that formed on his forehead. Looking at his phone he had three hours to spare before meeting you, so he would go to the hotel, wash up, and get his ticket from you. But boy did this heat have other plans for him. Settling into his hotel after a nice refreshing shower, the chill from the air conditioner knocked Ben right out. If it wasn’t for the maid’s cart ramming into the wall outside, Ben didn’t know how he would’ve awakened. With sleepy eyes, he looked at his phone was your face illuminated alerting him he had a call. “Hello?” He groggily answered. “Ben, what the fuck are you doing? You’re supposed to be meeting me to get the ticket!” You continued to yell at him, even though you were trying to keep your calm. ��M’sorry, shit, shit, shit.” He cursed as he flopped around his room to get himself together. Holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder he listened to you just go off about calling him seventeen times and thirty-six text and being so worried something happened. “Relax, relax sweetheart.” Ben interrupted. “I’ll be there, everything will be fine and focus on your practice. I’ll see you soon, forehead kiss.” He said and you huffed in annoyance. “Forehead kiss,” You grumbled. Every time after you would calm Ben down from his ridiculous tantrums, you would give him a forehead kiss, and vice versa. So now, since you guys were so far apart, the friends just decided to say it. “Alright bye,” He hung up.
The drive to the Superdome was hell! He knew he was definitely going to get cursed out by you. Maybe God had pitied Ben and decided that whatever Y/N had in store for him was far worse and the least he could do was get him there on time. Y/N HATED being late and one of Ben’s famous trait was being late; how’d they become friends, they still don’t know. In her text, she had given Ben directions to sneak in the back where the band was to give him his ticket. He followed it intently, through the sounds of Lil Wayne and Beyonce and the smell of barbecue before he found his destination with a sea of gold and blue. Throughout all the commotion, he could make out specks of jaguar print and he guessed that’s where you would be. He found himself correct as he saw your head popped up. He froze just staring at you because...damn. You looked good. Like yeah, you’re a beautiful girl. But, like damn it had to be a crime for you to look so mature, so...sexy. Your eyes met his and he gulped because even though you were shooting daggers at him, it was so hot. Ben watched his friend saunter over in her gold dance heels and jaguar-spotted cape and he swore he could watch you do that all day. “Ben, it took you long enough!” She said but all Ben could do was open his mouth as he accepted the ticket. He couldn’t stop staring at the way your (y/h/c) curls framed your face giving you that old Hollywood pin-up girl look, the way your black eyeliner winged to give you a mischievous look, while your red lips just played games with his mind. He didn’t realize he was just staring at you until you walked away. “Hey, Hi, Hi,” Ben pulled you into a hug, which confused you. Did he not listen to anything you had just said. “Hi,” You smiled sweetly, which had his brain turning to mush. “I have to go, I have to march in, and I’m already not supposed to be here.” You told him. “But, I want to watch you march in.” Ben put on his best puppy eyes, but it didn’t work. “Ben, stop it. I got you a good seat, now go! You’ll see me from there.” With a sigh, he accepted his defeat and watch you walk away to join your group. He began to shuffle along when he turned back to see you all taking a picture. Your eyes fell on him and you sent a wink his way with a flirtatious smile. Did you just do that or was his mind playing crazy tricks on him?
Ben briskly walked to find his seat in the large stadium with you running and doing other things in his mind. “Shit,” He mumbled under his breath. Never did he ever think he would feel this way about you, Y/N, his best friend. Slumping in his seat, he sighed trying to find the best excuse as to why he was feeling this way. It was just primitive hormonal instinct, he declared. Basic cavemen theory: see pretty lady, mate with pretty lady. Ben shook his head, he didn’t want to mate with you, he’s known you since you were twelve! Even though, everyone spoke about how cute your kids would be. A smile slowly fell to his lips at the thought until the rumble of drums pulled him out of his thoughts as Southern University began to emerge. On the large screen, he could see, who he guessed, was the captain and her somewhat stuck-up expression before panning out to show the others. His brown eyes widened when he saw their outfit. My God they all looked naked! There was no way in hell your dad knew about this, there was no way in hell any of their dads knew about this! It was a bodysuit that looked made it look like they had on silver sequin panties and a large bedazzled fleur de lis covering their torso. The captain began to throw a stand that maneuvered the group out. His eyes frantically searched for you, not knowing if he really wanted to see you or just wanted to see you in that. He groaned, falling into his seat as the crowd stood obscuring his view of you. Through his woes, he glanced to see that they had made it to the stands, doing one last count before sitting down one by one. He watched the screen intently as he still hadn’t seen you. People had begun to sit down so he had a very clear vision. Ben watched Y/N slowly guide her gloved hands down her body, back arching almost inhumanely, as she slowly rolled into a seated position. All the while maintaining eye contact with the camera before a little smirk fell to your lips, causing the crowd to rave at the newcomer who was very much living up to the expectation as the tail. Ben was heated, internally and externally. You basically just eye-fucked a whole stadium, who the fuck does that? Clearly you but, it was the look you had just given him! His brows knitted together as he clenched his fist. He wasn’t mad, is what he told himself. And it was true, he wasn’t mad, he was jealous.
Nor could he concentrate on the game as his eyes kept wandering back to you. The way you were perched up like a pretty Barbie doll or laugh at your friends jokes or make faces at the games. Ben couldn’t just stop watching you, it was as if he was a scientist studying cells or a painter and his muse. With every stand that was thrown, your movements were smooth and effortless. “A true doll,” He had heard someone say. A lot of people had taken interest in you, saying that you were “a perfect pick for the team” that “fit in with the seasoned dolls” and “is able to keep up and still having your own style.” Ben couldn’t help but smile at the compliments that filled his area about you. Plenty of times he wanted to turn and say that the girl they all deemed “Lil’ KP” was his best friend. In a brief moment, your eyes fell over to his section and Ben believed that even from afar you were staring into his soul. A blush began to cover his face at just the thought of you possibly thinking of him the way he recently discovered he thought about you. Simultaneously, a smile graced your lips that had believing that the universe was clearly messing with him. He growled in annoyance as he got up and made his way to the exit. Even though he was outside, he needed some nice, fresh, air-conditioned air. Sitting at one of the concession stands sitting area with the palms of his hands pressed against his eyes. Why was it now that everything had to be like this? Maybe that feeling was always there and you were always there and he found contentment in that. But now, you were miles away in Louisiana, wearing sequins all over your rolling body, with guys who didn’t know how great you are and deserved to be spoiled with food, presents, love, and attention. Much time passed before he decided to go back in. He observed that bands had left and it was much darker. Had he missed the whole game? “Umm, is it over?” He asked a random person. “No Baby, it’s halftime!” The man exclaimed. “They just getting started!” Bidding him thanks he made his way to the seat.
His mind was easily taken off you for a brief moment as he watched Grambling State take over the field. He couldn’t help but think of the big differences between this and the one at Harvard. Now, he knew what they meant by ‘come for the game, stay for halftime’. As his eyes roamed around the illuminated arena, he could definitely see there were more people than there were the first half. The field was clear and the crowd went mad anticipating for what Southern University would bring. The field was clear and the crowd went mad anticipating for what Southern University would bring. The band stepped foot loud and clear onto the field. Ben watched in confusion and amusement because this was far from what he saw at Harvard. The band leader who looked like he could be a British guard hyped the crowd as he flung his body over the field with high kicks and bending backward to land on his hat. The whole look was just enticing and he was impressed at the band's clarity, flow, and how they could execute movements while playing the instruments. Harvard could never. Maybe he should go to HBCU and be that one random white boy. He shook his head; he was pretty sure that he would at least have to have some type of rhythm and Ben could positively admit that after a while, his claps would fall offbeat. “And now ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for the classy, the beautiful Southern University Dancing Dolls!” The girls emerged from the field in a high-cut jaguar printed leotard with a sequined collar choker. “Again with these bodysuits!” Ben grumbled as it took his eyes to adjust to the fast movements that made it harder to find you. “YASSSS LIL’ KP!” The girls next to him screamed. Looking to the far left, he saw your mesmerizing smile. With every kick, turn, and jump he saw those facial expressions that were etched in his mind since the sixth grade. He was so happy for you achieving one of your many dreams and felt so proud to call you his best friend. Keyword: his.
And if you weren’t already killing him with the costumes, after halftime the dancers changed into a more revealing two-piece blue number with sequins and a feathered skirt aka belt because when you bent over he could see how perfect your as-. Ben shook his head, he shouldn’t be checking out his best friend like that. If the outfit wasn’t enough the band was playing songs that called for more sultry movements and once again you were eye-fucking the stadium. Granted you were just being an entertainer, he couldn’t deny that he wanted you to look at him with that look and only him. But what could he say? What would he do? He couldn’t just walk up to you and say “Hey Y/N I think I’m in love with you and I want to be with you forever.” He cringed just thinking how awkward it would be. With a deep sigh, he continued his new hobby: Y/N-watching. You looked so good in each costume, but this one had to be his favorite he pervertedly admitted to himself. Ben had to decide if he would stay quiet or say something.
The game was over and the score was forgotten as he followed the true fans to the back to watch the band march out. And there you were in all your glitter and blue feathers with a tired but very bright smile. With a tightening feeling in his chest, a somber feeling washed over him. How had he overlooked you? Yes, it was cliche to fall for a best friend. But, you were talented, funny, good-looking, intelligent, had a great personality, literally cared about him and cared enough about him to put him in his place. It made him sad that you were always there and he’d only seen you as a best friend. But had he? Thinking back, you were always the first person he wanted to tell good news to, the person he went to to make him feel better, the only person that could tease him to days end without making him mad, the last voice he wanted to hear at night, the sight he wanted to see in every class period, his date for every formal event, basically just always by his side. It was always you. Throughout his internal dialogue, he had missed your smiling face make your way towards him. “BEN!” You jumped and he caught you quickly, arms wrapping tightly around your exposed center. His fingers gently dug into the soft skin causing you to giggle and squirm out of his grip which had him wanting to pull you back in. “Did you like it? Did you enjoy the show?” Y/N asked. “Of course I did, it’s way better than mine. You might have to go up to Cambridge and show them a few things about a halftime show.” Your sweet laugh fell passed through your red lips leaving Ben in a haze. “Did you see me?” Her eyes gleamed up at him as his lips tugged before speaking. “Did I see you? Sweetheart I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. You were so beautiful and graceful. Y/N you have to be the most perfect person I’ve ever met.” As Ben began to talk, you slowly started to realize it wasn’t about your dancing, it was about you. “Everything you do is so effortless, even on your bad day, you make it look like a walk in the park. The way you carry yourself is so captivating, just to be in your presence is an honor. And the fact that you always chose me to grace it with just, I mean, I just.” Your smile had faded into a confused frown. “What are you trying to say, Ben?” Your words were slow and calculated, at least that’s how he processed it. “What I’m trying to say is, well, I,” He stammered before throwing all caution to the wind. “Oh fuck it!” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a long-awaited kiss. Everyone cheered and the band began to play ‘Ebony & Ivory’. You pulled away quite embarrassed, hiding your smile in his chest. Deep down you always thought you felt something more for Ben, but you thought of it as just the progression of friendship. But that kiss definitely proved you wrong! “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead. Lifting your head, you smiled: “It’s ok, but you still owe me a date.” “I know and we have whole two hours for that.” He chuckled.
Bonus:
“You will not take me on a date on a plane!”
“Think of it as part one.”
“What’s part two?”
“Dinner.”
“Oh hell no, don’t think you can use our families dinner as a date!”
P.s.: Feedback is much appreciated, let me know if I should continue, please. LAZINESS AT IT’S FINEST RIGHT HERE!
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