#My existence keeps shrinking and i started at a disadvantage anyway so i really dont know what my life is going to look like now
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I really dont know how im ever gonna feel like a real person and im really really tired of trying so hard and never getting anywhere
#Every time i try to fix or change this it makes it worse and i feel like im obsessed with trying to figure out whats wrong with me#Studying myself like a fucking bug#I had to drop out of school and i can barely go outside and im so angry that i keep ending up back here#Im trying really hard rn to give myself grace but at the same time i have to fight this urge to disappear so hard.#My existence keeps shrinking and i started at a disadvantage anyway so i really dont know what my life is going to look like now#Since it was never normal to begin with. Idk. I havent been on here bc my brain is broken my bodys broken I've been doing a lot of#Drinking and staying up late watching the x fi/es from the floor two feet from the tv stuff like that.#Anyway i keep thinking abt how i really want top surgery but i have to blow up my life first and i dont feel like i have it in me#But i think im gonna do it anyway we'll see
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