#My dad thought I was just a sensitive weirdo but now he gets that it wasn't just quirky teen girl hormones

[gloom-and-doom-in-my-room]

Damn I was scrolling through all my old posts and a Lot of them were vents and just. Jesus f christ.

I am doing so much better now.

[marcusbrutus]

I feel like I have a tumblr anon in my brain…. Like a tiny cop. But it’s an chronically online anonymous weirdo. And every thought I have, I get “anons” telling me how it’s problematic and I should kill my self LOL The other morning I saw an RFK sign and I thought doesn’t he have brain worms, someone running for president shouldn't have brain worms. maybe apply for literally any other job. and the anon was like ummm ableist much? Like WHAT. I turned off anon on tumblr a while ago, so even if I post something “risky”, someone will have to tell me what they think to my face. They can’t hide. Even posts I think are innocuous can be wildly misinterpreted, and someone will probably call me problematic. But even if no one says anything, I still hear it. In my brain. Sometimes I delete things because the thought is so strong. I’m probably not gonna make it to any heaven or enlightenment because I can’t forgive yourfaveisproblematic. In my mind, Tumblr was great before then, or at least it felt that way, and that blog sewed the seeds for cancel culture in the future. That stuff sticks to my brain, even if I don’t want it too. When you put sins like "said disabled people shouldn't be alive" on the same level as "has a tattoo in a language they don't natively speak," it is very confusing to a people-pleasing undiagnosed autistic 14 year old. I felt/feel like I can’t like anyone or anything because it’s ~problematic~ I worry it will never go away, because it affected me in my developing years, 14-19 I want to get better, but it’s hard. I wish I could run from the internet, but I can’t. It’s a part of life now. It’s how we stay connected. But it’s also like…. Idk. The internet used to be my safe space, right? Deviantart. Early tumblr. Seeing weird people like me made me feel less alone. I was a weeb surrounded by “preps” for lack of a better word, not that I didn’t have friends but NONE of them were into what I was into, you know? And no one became as obsessive about things like books and anime like I did, except online. But now it’s like, idk, corruption of the garden of Eden. But instead of me eating the fruit, the garden/internet ate the fruit. The world is too different now… I can’t keep up. And it’s not just because I’m getting older. Things happen faster now. Trends will last half a year when in the past they would have lasted a decade. I hate knowing everything all of the time. I hate that my garden is now a cesspool.

I’m just angry that people on tumblr and lefty spaces online are so blind to their own propaganda, and calling it out is “hate.” Like idk, I guess I expected better from people who are supposed to be ~intellectuals~. Well, if YouTube video essays have taught me anything, style over substance goes a LONG way. And they’re like “oh we’re so compassionate and we want a better future” but they tell everyone to kill themselves and laugh when red states get devastated by natural disasters it's not just that but it's like…. if you're not constantly aware of everything, you're ~part ofthe problem~ #wakeupamerica. silence is violence, blah blah blah. it's just hard because i grew up with a strict dad so learned to be a people pleaser. i'm extremely sensitive to guilt and shame. and all most of the internet has done since 2014 is shame everyone for everything. you're either with Us (good, pure, morally righteous) or you're with Them (problematic, evil). you don't want to be gasp problematic, do you? you don't want to have a callout post made about you and lose all your friends, right? well, keep you nose clean and reblog all the right posts so we know which side you're on an maybe, maybe we'll leave you alone. i have the stress of someone in debt to a mob boss. nah it's more like… i have the stress of everyone in the scarlet letter and im hoping everyone will keep their eyes on the Villain of the Week and leave me alone there's a decent video called "how to radicalize a normie." i say decent because it treats radicalization like a right-wing only issue and the "answer" to right wing radicalization is, of course left wing radicalization. "Even though they're on the bad, evil side, there's still hope because we can get them to our good, morally righteous side!" That kinda bs, and I say bs not in a left vs right way. According to my dad I'm a full blown communist! I'm saying it in the sense that the answer to radicalization isn't "just radicalize them to the other side." That's not at all helpful. You might as well tell an alcoholic who likes jameson to just switch to jack daniels. It's all poison, it's all harmful. ANYWAY, he talks about how most people don't set out to be radicalized, the politics comes to them. That happened to me - but on the left. And I'm sure if I left a comment on his video saying as much, he'd say it didn't happen or say it was a good thing. On tumblr, I came for anime. And for the first year, I got anime. But then I got really intense political stuff. "silence is violence." "i see you not reblogging this." "if you're not angry, you're not paying attention." I was 14-15, sheltered as fuck, I don't know anything about the world but now tumblr is convincing me that I know more about political issues than anyone. And it changed me. And it fucked me up. and I want to get unfucked. But I don't know how. I feel like an internet alcoholic. Like, even if I do stop using it, it will still be there, haunting me, forever, you know? because all my friends use it, not just you guys but irl friends. and the internet is effecting the real world. I miss the days when there was the internet, then there was reality. but now the internet is the reality. That's why I also fell so hard for the [REDACTED] stuff. Tumblr made me think everyone was [REDACTED] because like 99% of tumblr is [REDACTED], and I was worried about it because god help you if you question anything or show the slightest bit of concern. God help you if you're not full steam ahead on everything. I want to escape the matrix. I hate the hypocrisy…. And I hate even more that I’m also a hypocrite. I fall for group think and propaganda but act like I’m above it all. I hate social media but use it every day. YouTube too. I guess that’s why I get so mad when I see them act like that. It reminds me of me. People think the consequences of social media on a teenage girl are like "omg I was feeling good about myself….. but then I saw a model on Instagram… alas. I will never be her. I weep."

But it's more like: Oh my gosh, I just saw a post asking for mutual aid (aka MONEY, BABY) and I scrolled past. What if they died because they couldn’t afford food because I didn’t reblog their post? But what if I DID reblog their post, but it was a scam, and I led my followers to give money to someone who didn’t need it instead of someone who did?

I was hoping to share more examples, but I'm worried someone will misinterpret, and even though anon is off, the anon in my brain is on. always. on. i keep going back to the internet because i keep expecting it to get good again… like how it was. for some reason, i can't accept that it will no longer be my safe space. i wish i had a massive angel to keep me out, or something. like the actual garden of eden. I have to accept that it will never get better. I have not only an addiction to the internet, but to the obsessive thoughts it brings. By wishing it will get better, and continuing to use it, I am chasing a dragon. That is to say, I'm hoping for the same feelings I got from initially using the internet. No one ever catches the dragon. anyway, if you read all that... thank you so much! i'm taking a break from the internet, until mid november at least. maybe by then, it will be better. or not. we'll see.

[coffee---bean]

jesus pt. 2

i saw the christian youth group people at o-week at uni. they all have green shirts. i see them every year. this year i wanted to try find them and convince them i'm christian so they'd give me a shirt, but i thought of the idea after o-week ended. i would've loved to go up to people and be like "hey have u heard of the bible its fucking sick"

and there was this guy handing out little bibles outside the uni gate in week 1. it had all of jesus's quotes written in red font, which i thought was sick. i've always felt like the bible is a bit silly, cos surely it's just people writing about what they think god might be, and who knows if they were right or not! but for some reason, reading what are purportedly actual jesus quotes was exciting. like, finally the real deal.

here's some quotes i found:

LUKE 5 10 - do not be afraid; from now on, you will be catching men!

MATTHEW 6 28 - why are you anxious about clothing?

MARK 11 14 - may no one ever eat fruit from you again!

LUKE 2 49 - why were u looking for me?

MARK 13 2 - do u see these great buildings??

MARK 4 3 - behold, a sower went out to sow

MARK 5 30 - who touched my garments?

LUKE 7 23 - blessed is the one who is not offended by me

LUKE 10 19 - behold, i have given u authority to tread on scorpions

MATTHEW 15 34 - how many loaves do u have?

i told my friend amelia about this. turns out she's an amateur bible scholar and she really liked these quotes. she told me about how god would give really specific instructions about how he wanted his temple built, and would be really bad at communicating directly, and would only ever appear at inconvenient times or in unusual forms, and we realized god is probably really neurodivergent. he even had specific requests about the kinds of smells that would be in his temple, which is like so sensory.

and the jesus quotes i found sound so silly. like he's just this kind of bratty weirdo who's got these really touchy soft-spots and asks weird questions. which i really relate to!! reading these quotes was like so far the only time that i've actually felt jesus' presence in my life, like - oh yeah i see what u mean dawg, i'd be kind of annoyed if someone touched my garments too yknow. i'd probably start a story in a kind of silly way just like u with the sower going out to sow thing. and his whole "blessed are the ones who aren't offended by me" thing reminds me so much of shitty comedians who make jokes about trans people. i find it kind of endearing cos i love the idea that jesus would be so sensitive. both cos its funny (ur literally god its gonna be fine) and also cos low-key i'm a really sensitive person too.

so!

i don't really connected with religion in a religious way or an athiestic way. i did have the phase of being like "religion sux!!!!!" but after i wasn't forced to deal with it, i sort of just stopped caring. my dad is pretty buddhist, and he described going on retreats to me, and trying to get enlightened yknow.

and his description of enlightenment sounded just like how i feel when im kind of zoned out, so i told him that i'm enlightened all the time! and he got upset with me. or at least was just like, no, u don't get it. i feel kind of safer not understanding it. i feel like knowing i'm not enlightened is just gonna freak me out.

so anyway,

i was basically thinking about the idea that i had created a version of jesus for myself who felt real enough, from little fragments of text. and i was thinking about how religious people like the woman who spoke with me also have these versions of jesus in their minds, that speak to them. i remember the woman specifically said she didn't read books because god speaks to her and provides her all the info she needs. and as a non-religious person, i interpret that as her sort of working off instinct and rejecting stuff she doesn't like. which we all do to some degree!

i find it interesting that a preacher is kind of trying to give you their version of jesus, to colonise ur brain with their version. like how colonial empires rebuild their architectural styles in countries that don't suit the environment - like the hanoi opera house in vietnam.

or how trans people (heehee) resist gender colonisation inside their own minds and basically dress however they wanna. i guess some people are so good at this colonisation that they become empires, like megachurches or actual empires or whatever. and i feel like their colonisations are always violent and suppressive and unfair somehow. usually in obvious ways.

the currently ongoing genocide of palestinians under israeli occupation is another example. there's been a lot of propaganda to try to demonize the palestinians being spread by various sources, especially the israeli government and military. israeli political leaders have characterised palestinians as less-than-human, as creatures of darkness, as whatever. that's kind of a colonisation of the mind, and also a justification for a real-life actual colonisation, one that's killing thousands of people for LIKE NO FUCKING REASON.

anyway,

human relationships can be like that too. we can kind of passively mingle our minds together and change a bit. we can show eachother our favourite movies or music, we can share ideas or stories. we can teach a friend a coping mechanism we use which could change their life maybe. we can just spend time and let eachother know that our delusions are both unique to ourselves and also valid.

the chorus of "teletype" by everything everything

DONT TALK A LOT, BUT I LIKE IT, COS I CAN'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING THAT WENT ON.

it's a description of a relationship where the narrator is acknowledging that we can't FULLY know eachother. just like how colonisation can't occur without violence. you need to just kind of accept that we can't be perfect for eachother, we can't be copies of one another, because we are seperate. we all experience different stuff. and that's not actually a bad thing - it's whatever it is. it can be fun, actually. talking to someone can be like playing. learning isn't really copying, it's more like sharing and iterating.

i guess that's kind of the idea behind my project. i'll explain more in another post !!!!

[keeganmantle]

One more thing before I move on from this person,

@nephrite-rod-zhongsheng

you say you have work and got a lot to do. Well, I got a lot to do too. Are you sure you're working when you're out here attacking random people who did nothing to you? There's gotta be more out there. I can't be the only one.😐

I haven't had drama like this arguing back and forth in 10 years!😁

You know, I did work. I worked at my school back in 2021 when I graduated. I helped my dad with work sometimes. I do chores around the house. What about you, Wang? Now please just move on, dude. I don't have time for you. Unlike you, I have a life. Don't come around saying you're the victim here. Because it's too late. I have all the evidence. You did all of that stuff. I'll be blocking you soon because I want nothing to do with you. Talk smack about me all you want. Just remember, you attacked me. You started it. I just finished it. Good luck trying to threaten me in DMs because only people I follow can DM me now. I always hated DMs because of those Facebook weirdos. But now I cannot stand DMs bigtime because of you. You triggered a lot of PTSD, Wang. I kept checking my house because of you. That thing you sent of my girlfriend made me worried sick about her. It really upset me. I get super sensitive when it comes to violence against women Wang. Especially when it's the woman in my life! I cried a bit, dude. How would you feel if someone said they really wanted to violate your girlfriend? Yeah, should've thought about that. Now I get nervous opening Tumblr a bit now. Because of you. If I get a DM on here now I start shaking and panicking. Thanks to you. You triggered a lot of panic attacks. I have anxiety dude. I can have comfort characters. You don't know me. You don't know anything! You think this is funny? How are you still here? Is the government out for you yet? Leave me alone and go get a life. I'm done dealing with this guy. Please block and report him. And make sure he doesn't DM you. I learned my mistake.😐

[stopbeingrude]

Hi guys. Happy Gruvia/ Greige day. I wish all of you wonderful time.

That's gonna be the first one shot , i have ever published here, feedback is welcome. I hope It's not that bad and you'll somehow like it lmao.

,,I think I would rather have a plushie as a Christmas gift…., but I guess I shouldn't be too picky."

-Dad? - called 6-year-old Greige, on one December afternoon, when both him and his father were decorating a christmas-tree in the living room . December 24th was slowly approaching. It was Greige's favorite time of the year , because he was able to spend Christmas with all of his family, including all of his uncles , aunts and friends. Not forgetting about grandpa Makarov . Even Uncle Gildards would show up, bringing something for the kids. -I was wondering what would happen if Santa's reindeer suddenly wanted to pee while flying?- asked seriously little boy. No one wanted to tell him that. When he asked big bro Romeo , he just started laughing and then he called him silly. "How could he do that?" -thought heartbroken Greige after. -Heh , where did that come from? ... you know ... they'd have to stop somewhere by, right? Daddy doesn't know much about it- said Gray, trying to keep himself from laughing. He couldn't laugh, he knew it would offend his little angel. Their son hated when someone made fun of him . After all, he was already a big boy, and everyone knows that such must be taken seriously. - So maybe Mommy knows? I will go and ask her,- said the little boy, putting down Christmas decorations . Speaking of mom, he had recently noticed his mother's strange behavior. She had been getting tired very easily lately, she often took naps. He also noticed that she spent an enormous amount of time sewing ,mostly clothing. Well.. he was aware of his mom's hobby, but usually it was limited to sewing plushies, sometimes socks or fixing their clothes. - You know, I don't think mommy knows more than me - said Gray after hanging the last Christmas-ball. - Besides, you know that mommy is sleeping now, right? She hasn't been feeling well lately, so she mustn't be disturbed. Something was off, even Daddy acts differently- thought little Fullbuster Now, that got the boy worried. - Is something wrong with Mommy? - asked slowly Greige He loved Mommy and Daddy most in the world and the very thought of them suffering hurt him deeply. "No, I won't start crying…Boys my age don't do that..." He had often been told that he should stop being such a crybaby (mostly by Yajeh or Nasha . Shutora would never. She was always trying her best to cheer him up,while reminding her twin and little Dragneel that if they won't stop with this stupid teasing, she would make sure both of them would regret it later). Unfortunately Greige could not help it. Whenever someone was hurt or something went wrong, he would usually cry. Turns out he inherited his mom's sensitivity... "Mommy…..something was definitely wrong with her.." The thought of something happening to his dear Mom filled him with great terror once again. He started shaking What if she's ill, or even worse..she's gonna….. "No , no , that's not possible..." - he shook his little head full of dark , curly hair. - I'm overreacting, just like Yajeh told me - No, no.. don't worry, Greige, Mommy's fine, it's nothing serious,"-Gray said quickly, trying his best to calm his son down, giving him a hug and then kissing him on forehead He knew exactly what was going on with his beloved, in fact, when an excited Juvia came back home one evening and informed him of the pregnancy, he was overjoyed. Soon he will be holding his son or daughter in his arms. Then it hit him. The baby might turn out to be a girl, and Gray had no idea how to take care of girls...Dear God….Ok ,ok.. he still has plenty of time to learn. He can always ask Gajeel about it..yes Gajeel or Alzack...even Elfman ( he would never ask Natsu, even if he's life depended on it, that would be too humiliating for him). Wait...it wasn't his top priority right now. After all, he needs to inform his son about the news first. Neither of them was quite sure how to do it. They remembered very well the situation from a few months ago when the Redfox twins got into an argument. Horrified, Greige stated that being an only child is not that bad, since having siblings meant constant war. Although being honest , Greige never

directly told them that he hates the idea of having a sibling . Considering how much time he spent with Nasha and Elfman and Ever's daughter Ember, or year-old Reiki Fernandes, it would seem that he's perfect for the big brother role. Besides, they can't hide it forever, sooner or later he would notice Juvia's belly. However, the biggest concern for Fullbuster was the fact that such news could lead to a longer conversation, which again could lead to uncomfortable questions that Gray was not ready to answer. He is not going to tell his son about the birds and the bees. No, no, hell no… None of them are ready for this! "Come on Gray, what's wrong with you, you just have to tell him. You've been in worse situations….after all, you've fought with all sorts of criminals, weirdos and monsters ,compared to what you've been through, it's nothing''- thought the ice mage But how to start such a conversation? How about …. -Hey Greige, have you written a letter to Santa yet? "Yes, just ask him what he wants for Christmas and make a few innocent suggestions." -Oh no i didn't, thank you for reminding me Dad. - And tell Daddy, what would you like to ask Santa for? The boy was silent for a moment, most likely to think about the answer, but after a while he called out in a loud voice. -I'D LIKE TO ASK HIM FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD AND FOR EVERY POOR PERSON TO GET A BETTER LIFE AND FOR EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY!..... It would also be nice to get a new plushie……but it's not as important. Do you think Santa can do that?-he asked hopefully Gray stood there for a moment, stunned. His baby was truly an angel...wishing happiness upon the entire world, it nearly made him tear up…. but no... he needed to explain to his son that he should wish for something more....... attainable. -Ooh... really..that's....very nice of you, but...I think that such a wish...yym...takes a bit of time and Santa w-won't be able to do it…., why don't you ask him for….. for example a toy like a teddy bear, figurines....or new books or something else...I don't know.......sibling?... Greige looked at him, like he had just proposed to him to take a walk on the rooftop. Where did that come from? What is dad talking about? S-sibling...?? -Sibling? You mean like a little brother or sister? A baby?- asked the little boy loudly. -Yes, that's exactly what I meant, but well you'll need to wait for a while, because it takes time for a baby to….be ready.- mumbled out Gray - So that's not really a Christmas present- stated boy still visibly shocked -...Well y-yes , but... -But didn't you say mommy has been feeling unwell lately?...If we had a baby, wouldn't it be tiring for her?....Besides, do you think we need a new baby? - asked seriously Greige Why would they need a baby? They were living happily in this house , just three of them. It's not like he dislikes babies , they're cute and all…..but it's just simply weird.. -Well... I wouldn't say it's necessary , but it would be nice to have one at home.. don't you think?....- asked his dad Maybe? -And don't worry about mommy, I am sure that she will be so happy with the new baby , it will make her feel better.- stated Gray , this time with a smile -Hello my darlings- Juvia's voice said suddenly They both turned their heads toward the bedroom's door, finding Juvia's tired but smiling face there. Greige quickly got up and ran toward his mother. -Mommy, are you feeling better? Do you need anything?- said the little boy, hugging her legs. Juvia kissed her son's cheek. -Hi sweetheart, Mommy is fine- she answered while taking a seat next to her precious Gray, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. -Did I hear you talking about babies?- Juvia asked, pretending to be surprised, while giving Gray a tiny smirk. - Daddy said it would be nice to have a baby and that it would make you feel better... - he began. - I don't think a baby is necessary, because it would be a little strange that there will be more of us in the house, but if you really wish for one ,then that's fine with me. -Really? Mommy's glad to hear that.-

replied a happy Juvia , giving her husband a big smile. Gray gave her the same smile, but just when he thought everything had been taken care of, there came the soft voice of his baby boy. - Mommy....Daddy...but you won't love the baby more than me, will you? - asked Greige, with his head lowered and tears in his dark eyes. Both Gray and Juvia stood there very surprised, neither of them had even thought of such a scenario. -Greige, what makes you think that?- asked older Fullbuster. -Sunshine, no...- Juvia hugged her son quickly- You mustn't think like that, we would never stop loving you. Remember darling, parents love all their children equally. - You know, its true that we'll have to spend a lot of time taking care of your brother or sister, but you have to remember that they won't be able to do anything on their own. You were like that when you were born too.- said Gray - I'm sorry. I won't do that again- said Greige seriously. -Do you think I offended the baby? I don't want the baby to think I don't want him or her,- said the terrified boy .What if the baby will always remember this and he will never be forgiven. - Don't worry, honey, I'm sure she won't mind,- said the water mage, stroking her belly. -She?-Gray thought. Turns out his wife wasn't telling him everything... -Wait a minute! -said suddenly Greige after a moment of silence -The baby will be in the tummy, just like Reiki was in Auntie Erza's , right? - Well baby is already there, but your right - answered Gray -Daddy? - Yes buddy ? - How did it get there? Shit. -Yyyy… Horrified, Gray turned his gaze to his wife, silently pleading for help. -You know what, angel? It's almost 8pm, I think it's time for you to take a bath, okay?- proposed Juvia, saving her husband from very uncomfortable talk. - Ok Mommy. Will you read me a bedtime story after we finish? - Of course They were already moving towards the bathroom when Juvia quickly turned towards her husband, gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered : -You're welcome. Has Gray already mentioned how much he loved his wife?

Bonus!:

( ok I swear it was funnier in my head...Once again Happy Gruvia day !!!)

[pascalina]

The brothers' movie

11/07/2015

They don't use the same last name, but they are siblings. Pedro Pascal (40) the Chilean actor who starred in Game of Thrones and now has a starring role in the Netflix series Narcos, uses his mother's surname because it is easier to pronounce in English. 17 years younger, Lucas Balmaceda Pascal (23), also an actor, debuted in Los 80 and today stars in the TVN series Juana Brava. Here, both talk for the first time about their relationship, their love for cinema and their mutual admiration.

José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal was born in Chile, but a few months later he had to go into exile with his parents and his older sister, Javiera, to Denmark. It was the end of 1975. Thanks to the Rockefeller scholarship granted for his father, the doctor José Balmaceda Riera, a year later they moved to the United States: first they lived in San Antonio, Texas. Life there was just beginning and it was not easy.

Seventeen years later, in 1992, Lucas Balmaceda was born in Orange County, California, into the comfort of a family that was financially in its prime. His dad was at the peak of his career: as a fertility specialist and director of one of the University of California's reproductive health centers. But suddenly they moved back to Chile when Lucas was three years old and his brother Nicolas was eight. The two older ones stayed there. Pedro was already studying drama at Orange County High School of the Arts. Then he went to New York to study theater at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

After a couple of small appearances in TV series, in 2014 he took the big leap in his career: he played Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, which made him world famous. Today, he has a starring role in the series Narcos. He is also filming a movie with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe.

Fame came early for Lucas. After leaving Saint George High School in 2010, he studied theater at the Universidad Católica, and he began to shine: in year fourth, he starred in the theater play "La noche obstinada", by choreographer Pablo Rotemberg, and got a role in the successful television series Los 80 and today, in his last year, he is the co-star of Juana Brava, the new TVN nighttime series.

Scene one:

Lucas appears in Pedro's life

P: "I was 17 when Lucas was born. He was a baby when I left to go to university. I remember my first visit back and Lucas, who was not even two years old, was already the owner of the house. I remember those looks, wanting to tell me: 'I don't know who you are, but this is my house, mate.

To this day I have never seen that personality in another child. It was fascinating to see that wit in someone so small. Since he was a kid he had that fierce intelligence... The four siblings, Javiera, the eldest and the queen of the family; Nicolas, the doctor; Lucas and I are like a compact and consistent unit. I can't imagine life without them".

L: "Pedro was studying at the university in New York when I was born. When he went home for vacations to see the family, as I didn't know him, I thought: 'who is this guest, who is this weirdo who kisses my mother? She's mine!'. Back in Chile, every year Pedro came to visit us. It was the most entertaining thing in the world for me. He was much older and he would come with all the coolness, with all the culture of cinema, with horror movies that were not available here. Then we would watch them and play them out, we would do sketches. We would play that Pedro was a murderous monster and we would escape from him. We were each a character. He was very funny, he did voices, he impersonated people. He gets mad when I tell him, but I've always found that he has a Jim Carrey thing about him, he manages to make some impressive faces. When he came on, I couldn't stop watching him, he was too entertaining. We are all big movie buffs thanks to my dad. When I was three years old, he took my brothers and me to see Batman. I remember crying hysterically. I was very young, sensitive, and being in the cinema was like entering to another reality: loud noises, giant screen. I didn't understand anything.

Scene two

Transplanted

P: "What's Chilean about me and what's gringo about me is a very interesting question, because I don't think even at 40 years old I've been able to figure it out. I was raised and educated in the United States and socialized a lot with American pop culture, but Chilean pride has always been unwavering. My parents were exiled for eight years. So our visits to Chile were regular. My whole life I have lived in the United States and my whole life I have visited my relatives in Chile. However, since my siblings were raised in Chile, my connection to the country is much stronger today and it is something I am grateful for. Something that happens to me a lot is that when I say I've been in the U.S. my whole life, they say, "Well, you're a gringo then! And after a conversation in my fluent Spanish with a clear Chilean accent that same person turns around and says: I've been listening to you, you're Chilean!

L: "I am Chilean because I lived and grew up here since I was three years old, but at the same time I have a cultural disconnection: my parents lived 25 years in the United States, my brothers are gringos. My visual culture is super gringo, the TV shows I watched when I was a kid or the movies I watch to this day I understand them from that place: as an American. More than being born in the United States, I feel it's because of my family's background".

SCENE THREE:

The performance

P: "There were good years and bad years (when I started my acting career in the United States). Many years I was a waiter to supplement my income. But from a very young age I was auditioning for professional jobs. In my late twenties my career in the theater was relatively consistent. Then, when opportunities in television arose, I was consolidating and it became much easier to pay my expenses. I think that struggle, going through those situations, empowers you a lot and it's one of the things I'm enormously grateful for. And Game of Thrones was an incredible gift. It's the best role I've ever played and they're the best people I've ever worked with."

L: "It's Pedro's fault that I wanted to be an actor. But when I told him I wanted to study theater it was hard for him, more than anything, because he cares about me and studying theater is hard. You have to be very wise and have a super high self-esteem to take care of yourself. Pedro went through many things. If there is an actor who doesn't have contacts in the United States, it's him. Everything he has achieved is because of his work. That's why when people ask me why I don't go to the U.S., it's a resounding no. Being Pedro Pascal's little brother is not going to get me around the corner; I would have to be Tom Cruise's twin to achieve anything. Even so, Pedro had many failed career starts. In 2011, for example, he was offered a starring role in a series called Wonder Woman and it was eventually canceled. That's why, when Games of Thrones came up, I was like, wow! We were all freaking out, because Games of Thrones is like a worldwide trending topic. All the episodes he was in, we were all watching them together at my house, eating pizza or sushi."

SCENE FOUR:

Mutual lessons

P: "I try not to get too involved in anything Lucas does or how he does it. He has single-handedly created each of his experiences and is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. He loves his work and is continually developing his skills for television and theater, and eventually film. He executes like a real artist and, to be honest, it is more common for me to learn something from him than for him to learn something from me. I mean that very sincerely. Lucas reminds me to work hard and keeps me inspired. When I saw him in Los 80 I was incredibly proud, but not surprised. I was seeing something I had always known. The only advice I've given him is to not be such a workaholic, to take care of himself and to be proud of what he's accomplished and what he still has yet to accomplish. Deep down, I'm always going to be the protective big brother."

L: "Pedro is an object of admiration for me. What he says is law for me. Sometimes I ask him: 'Pedro, did you see that movie?' and he says: 'Yes, I didn't like it'. I tell him: 'Oh, I didn't like it either'. The nice thing about our relationship is that it happens so sporadically, once or twice a year, that the moments when we see each other are very intense. We either fight a lot or we love each other too much, but it's always like a story, like a movie. While he's there and I'm here, we talk a lot on WhatsApp and Facebook".

P: "With Lucas we always keep each other up to date on what movies to watch, what TV shows are good. I bug him all the time asking him about what's going on in his life and I'm always asking him about his perspective on things. Despite being away from each other for a long time, Lucas and I are very close and always have been. I see Lucas at the beginning of an amazing career, with an unwavering curiosity and passion. I love it when he confides in me about things he is enjoying or situations he is dealing with."

L: "I've never seen Pedro in theater, but I've been told he's tremendous. On camera, I find that he has a very intense look. He also has, and in that we are very similar, a very strong visual culture, the fact that we have always liked horror movies. He plays characters that hide something, dark characters. A great strength is that he is very sensual, he knows how to handle himself well from seduction".

P: "Lucas is brave, he's fearless. There's nothing he's not willing to try, he's never going to give up on a challenge, he's never going to leave something halfway, no matter what that means to him. Lucas is unstoppable.

Link interview

[amporella]

just want to say yes short kyle appreciation... < 3 there are so few who do! is there any or anything who do short kyle well for you? or what is your thoughts on it overall? I like seeing art of it done good, I feel it fits him well ^^

Omg, I was so delighted to see this ask! You get it anon <3 I’m gonna keep short Kyle alive no matter what it takes tbh. You guys can count on me 😤

As for people who do short Kyle well; you’re unfortunately right that there aren’t nearly as many people as there once were! But as for some artists I follow who partake - @/lozislaw (they write really lovely fics too! they’re one of the authors I refresh weekly for new works), @/unlikely-bloom and @/amirondo are all active + have drawn short Kyle in the past. @/dusksmote also has a really cute and in character short Kyle in his fic series and accompanying art (and plenty of tall Kyle art for those of you who like that too! seriously, just check him out). And I’m sure all style lovers on tumblr know about @/bunypark at this point, but you should take this time right now to look at all her art again, because it’s SO gorgeous and amazingly reminiscent of how style looks in my head. I also spend a lot of time being a certified weirdo and digging through old tumblr blogs of authors/artists I love (cough nudge hollycomb sekrit julads etc) so you might find some content you really like there! I haven’t been consuming as much fanfiction recently (against my will) but I know there are a ton of lovely fics with short Kyle out there, so if anyone wants to contribute to this post, please feel free! 

My thoughts on it overall; I like it for a bunch of reasons! I like the ship dynamic of short, forward fireball and tall sensitive sweetheart (kyle tells the cashier that stan asked for no pickles), and I think it’s symbolically quite sweet to have Kyle grow up taking after his mom more than his dad, especially considering how much he takes after her personality wise too. I also really like contrast in my ships? Whether it’s personality wise, expressions, contrasting colors (shoutout to @/allymumu for their post on this yesterday), height, etc, and I think that really comes across in how I love style, lol. 

Anyway; this is such a sweet ask and I’m in complete agreement! Me and you anon. short kyle lives on within us <3

[floralseokjin]

;cyber sex (m)

FIRST LOVE, LAST LOVE

⟨gif credit⟩

You want to partake in some “cyber” sex...

pairing; jeon jungkook x reader  genre/warnings;  smut, fluff, skype sex, or as oc puts it, cybersex, sex toy usage (here 😘) words; 3,038

more﹆chapter index

“Are your parents in bed?” 

On the screen, Jungkook looked a little on edge, jittery almost. Like he was doing something illegal. 

“My dad is. Mom’s downstairs catching up on soap operas.” 

He still looked a little unsure. “How was your day?” 

You shifted on your bed, crossing your legs, your laptop jumped slightly, pixelated Jungkook bouncing around for a second. Internet at your parents’ house had always been shitty but he still made a bunch of cute pixels. 

“I’d love to small talk, Jungkook, I really would, but I woke up wanting sex and have been horny ever since.” 

You were expecting him to log on all eager and possibly already halfway to naked, but he’d appeared in sweats, back against the headboard of your shared bed, legs stretched out where laptop you was placed on his thighs. 

You watched him hesitate and grew annoyed. “What happened to being up for this?” 

This afternoon he’d been eager, possibly even cocky when you’d texted him over lunch. Your mom gossiping in your ear about her co-worker’s so called affair while you passively listened and arranged sex plans with your boyfriend...

There had been a time you were too embarrassed to even think about masturbating in your family home, but like Jungkook kept saying, you were a grown ass woman now, not still in high school or even in college. Those days had long past you by. You were a hot blooded female with needs. Needs for your super hot, super sweet boyfriend. There was really no need to be ashamed. You were going to participate in some cyber sex, no matter how much Jungkook laughed at your awkward phrasing. 

[You: 01:34pm]  Are you busy tonight? 

[JK: 01:36pm]  if eating cheetos in bed by 8 is busy then yes 

[You: 01:37pm]  Don’t you dare bitch 

[JK: 01:37pm]  why do you want to know if im busy? 

[You: 01:38pm]  cybersex 2300 hours 

[JK: 01:38pm]  Cybersex 😭😭 no one calls it that weirdo  but see you there my morning wood misses yoir ass 

Here right now, Jungkook made a noise, arguing with you. “I am up for this. It’s just your parents...” 

You rolled your eyes. He was a grown ass man and he was afraid of your parents. More so your dad. He’d taken a while to warm up to Jungkook—you blame the tattoos. But that was years ago when you’d first started dating. Your dad liked Jungkook now. Honest. 

“My dad’s asleep. I can hear him snoring,” you commented, giggling. 

Jungkook groaned. Way to ruin the mood, he was probably thinking. “That doesn’t help.” 

“Come ooonnn,” you whined, leaning into the screen. You knew your robe was dipping in the middle, already tied deliberately lose. He had a great view of your cleavage, however muted because of the shitty lamp lighting. “I miss youuuu.” 

Jungkook scoffed quietly. “And you’re making it worse. I wanna touch you for real.” He was speaking low, pouting really, but you caught his hand that slid across the front of his sweatpants. Was that some inconspicuous rubbing you’d spotted? Naughty. 

You leant back again and tried not to grin in triumph. Jungkook 0, your tits 1 once again. 

He carried on his rant. “I want you in this bed. In this house. I can’t wait 4 more days!” 

Diddums. He was a child, you swore. “Should’ve come with me then.” 

He was rubbing his crotch again, you didn’t think he realised he was doing it. “You know that’s only reserved for a Christmas every two years.” 

Yeah, like you said, he was terrified of your father. It was probably why he hadn’t proposed yet, too scared to ask for your dad’s blessing. Not that you would say that to his face. And not like you wanted to get married anytime soon, it was just only natural to think of those things. You had been together for years after all. 

You didn’t reply, instead shifting on the bed once more to spread your legs a little. You hiked one up, robe falling open to reveal the triangle of skin between your legs. You meant business.

“What’re you doing?” He practically stuttered, sitting up straighter against the headboard.

“I’m not wearing any underwear.” 

“I can see that.” 

You began to rub the pad of your index finger across your clit. Sensitivity shocking your body and you fought with yourself not to snap your legs closed. You softened the impact, slowly circling before slipping down your folds and collecting the moisture to drag back up to your clit. Agonisingly slow now because you wanted to tease the hell out of your boyfriend. Despite the near darkness, he had eyes like a hawk. “You’re wet already.” Maybe he could see it glistening through the camera. Or maybe he was just starting his descent…

“Like I said, I’ve been horny since this morning.” You ever so slightly dipped the tip of your finger inside yourself. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d played with yourself like this in front of him. It was fun. Especially because he was hanging onto each movement like his life depended on it. 

“Jungkook,” you nudged. 

“Mm?” It was just one sound, too far gone now. 

You murmured the next part, voice low and heavy, laced with a desperateness you’d felt all day. “Get your dick out.”

He didn’t argue. You let yourself grin in victory, ogling him as pushed a hand into his sweatpants and pulled out that thick, hot cock you’d been fantasising about since 7am. 

He ran his fist along it, definitely not lazily. Tugging at the head, his thumb rubbed the drops of precum across his slit. You clenched and pulsed down below. Unfair move. Your image of him was grainy and unlit but he looked just as hot as he always did. Maybe it was time to unveil your secret weapon... 

“Goodnight, love.” 

You jumped immediately at the sound of your mom’s voice, hand jerking away from between your legs. You’d been so distracted you hadn’t even heard her coming up the stairs. 

Your took a quick breath and tried to sound normal, praying you could keep your voice level. “Goodnight mom!” You succeeded, but only just you were sure of it. 

You heard the click of the bathroom door and turned your attention back to Jungkook, eyes wide. His were too. “Jesus christ,” he muttered, sounding annoyed. “This was a dumb idea.” He was sat forward, dick back in his pants, tops of his cheeks rosy, either from the jerking off or the near close call. Probably both. 

You tried to refrain from giggling but failed. “She wasn’t going to just barge in here.” 

Both waiting a few seconds, it wasn’t long before your mom exited the bathroom and shut the door to her bedroom. You untied your robe, relaxing into the bed instantly. You weren’t losing this moment. 

Jungkook groaned slightly, eyes apprehensively raking over your practically naked body. “This is so wrong.” 

“Relax, we’re alone,” you insisted. “Just remember to be quiet.” You’d use your earphones but you’d forgotten them, remembering as soon as you’d boarded the plane. 

“I’m alone.” He corrected, now sounding sorry for himself. Jeez, it was as if you weren’t spread out like a human buffet. “I miss you. Can’t you come home right now?”

Jungkook did not do well at being alone at all. It was cute. You smiled at him softly, running your hand down your stomach and between your legs. “But I wanna cum right nowww.” 

“Fine.” His stare hardened, watching the way you rubbed at the bundle of nerves. “You cum and then come home. Then I fuck you. Properly. None of this Skype shit.” 

You laughed, genuinely amused. He was such a baby. You watched him lift his t-shirt over his head. Taking initiative, you liked that. His hair fell in his eyes and he shook it away. He’d finally had a haircut a few weeks ago, but it grows fast, which was possibly a good thing because you really, really missed that long hair of his. 

Your eyes fell down to his chest and across his shoulders. He had a few tattoos that decorated his torso, amongst other places, but they mainly covered his arms. Speaking of which you clenched and pulsed again, just imagining those arms wrapped around you, squeezing you tight, hands pinning you to the bed... Shit. You really wanted to fuck him for real. 

You splayed around against the bedsheets, arching your back a little and Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Take your robe off. Keep your bra on.” He sounded demanding, it wasn’t intentional, lost to the urge right now as usual, but you loved it when he ordered you about, even more so when he didn’t realise he was doing it. 

You quickly got to it, snapping at your bra straps as you lied back down, propped up by your elbows. “Is this actually sexy?” You’d done this a handful of times but that was back in college. Now older, it seemed more daunting. 

“Of course it is, babe,” Jungkook reassured. On cue he got his cock out again. He was still hard. 

You watched him rake his hand along himself a few times and then grinned. “I have something.” 

He raised an eyebrow again, curious but also clueless, and watched you pull something out from under the sheets. A glittery, rubbery thing that made his eyes light up. 

“You brought a dildo to your parents’ house?” He asked after a split second of silence. You nodded, biting down on your lip, holding the specimen up to the screen. He caught the look on your face and chuckled. “You planned this?” He sounded impressed. 

“Thought it would be fun.” You tried to sound casual but maybe you were a little nervous? Embarrassed? There was no need to be. You’d had a sexual fantasy and had acted on it... Jungkook was just as into it. Hm, maybe it was the being naked over cam that was making you feel so jittery? 

Jungkook eyed Miss Jessica Rabbit and laughed again. “Only you would arrange a visit to your parents’ place just so we could participate in some ‘cybersex’.” 

Joking aside, he was eager to begin. You could tell by the look in his eyes and by the way he’d straightened his back, leaning in closer for a better look. You didn’t feel nervy anymore. You were back in the zone. 

“Cybersex sounds cool, I don’t know why you find it so funny.” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes affectionately. “You’re adorable, that’s why I find it so funny.” 

“Lameee.” You sang. But now you were running the head of the vibrator along your slit, spreading your legs in the process.

Jungkook watched you carefully, still stroking his dick with leisure. “I’m surprised you didn’t get caught at security with that thing.” He was making casual conversation but his voice sounded strained. He kept having to swallow. “Hiding a giant vibrator in your clothing.” 

“Can you imagine?” You’d die of embarrassment right there on the spot. 

“I‘d come bail you out, don’t worry.” 

You giggled at his silliness. Who was going to tell him you couldn’t get arrested for carrying a vibrator in your luggage? 

However, soon the mood for small talk was over, only distracting at this point. Or maybe what was distracting was now the vibrator beginning to stretch out your insides. It was a little uncomfortable at first, maybe you were just too well aware your parents were a few feet away, or maybe you were just out of practice when it came to fucking yourself. 

Jungkook helped though, whispering encouragements and giving you useful tips, which only made you wetter; so yes, a huge help. It wasn’t long before you got a rhythm going, not long before your breathing quickened and you were trying really hard not to moan out loud. 

Jungkook matched your movements, now jerking himself off with vigour. You watched one another, fully at ease and lost in your own little world. 

“This is so unfairrr,” he grunted soon enough, burning a hole between your legs. His newly sworn enemy, Miss Jessica Rabbit. “I want my dick inside you, not some phoney.” 

You moaned quietly, agreeing of course. Nothing felt as good as Jungkook inside you. Nothing ever had. You clicked a button on the toy and the first level of vibrations started. 

You lifted your head a little, trying to gauge the sound. “Is that too loud?” 

He shook his head. “I think you’re good. Fuck.” He cursed because you were now grinding up against the ears of the bunny, vibrations against your clit sending you all gooey and warm. “Go faster.” 

You listened, the length of the vibrator now slipping in fully as your insides finally loosened up, no longer tense. You rolled to your side a little and like that you found your g-spot. Pleasure began to burst behind your eyes and you almost forgot Jungkook was there because now you’d remembered how to use this damn thing and there was no going back. 

You clicked another button, powering up the shaft as the pearls inside the rubber began to rotate. You bit down on your lip, desperate not to make a sound and you cursed yourself. Why did you think this was a good idea? Pleasure screamed at you but you must keep quiet. 

“Babe... Baby,” Jungkook was trying to get your attention. “Baby, get on your back again. I wanna see.” 

You slowly listened, knowing you had been restricting his view and try to fuck yourself on your back. You planted your feet on the bed, kicking the laptop to the centre in the process and hoped now that he had a good view. 

Whatever he saw, he liked, moaning maybe a little bit too loudly. You’d turn the volume down if you could move, but you can’t, too paralysed with pleasure. “This is so fucking hot.” He was legit growling, it sent a fire through your veins. 

He watched you buck your hips into the vibrator over and over again, struggling a little to keep thrusting the shaft inside of you, but you think he found that hot. You were close. You knew it. Lips spread apart, your clit was swollen and greedy for pleasure, sensitive to the titillating vibrations and your walls squeezed and began to spasm around the thick rubber, the rotating sensation you felt making you tremble all over. Your wrist hurt but it was a good kind of pain, burning, making you work hard for your release. 

“Wish you were here to fuck me better, baby,” you purred, because despite how amazing this felt Jungkook could make you feel a pleasure ten times greater. “Does your hand feel good?“

You couldn’t see him, flat on your back, eyes shut, face directed at the ceiling, but you could hear the sound of skin on skin. His palm raking up and down the rock hard flesh of his cock. 

“Don’t rub it in,” he chided, voice low. Ha. Because that was exactly what he was doing. Luckily you were too out of breath to drop a shit pun. 

Your lower half suddenly spasmed and you stifled a cry. You couldn’t hold on any longer. “Shit,” you gasped. “I forgot how strong this thing was.” 

“Yeah? I’ll cum if you cum.” 

That’s all you needed to hear. It wasn’t even five seconds later before you were coming. Like an explosion, thigh and vagina muscles clenching, toes curling into the sheets and your chest heaving, sweat beading at your hairline. Miraculously you managed to stay silent. Albeit your breathing. You ceased movement immediately, removing the pressure against your clit before turning the vibrations off. The shaft was still rotating inside you, nerves twitching in your thigh before you ended those too and slid the vibrator out with a silent pop. You threw it to your side. Your whole body tingled but you urged yourself to come to, to open your eyes and lean up on your elbows. Jungkook still needed to cum and you wanted to watch. Just like he watched you. 

“Good, baby?” He asked. His eyes were black, breathing shallow. His fist still tugged at his dick, desperate now. 

“Mm hm,” you nodded, feeling a little chilly now the thrill had worn off. 

Jungkook grunted a command. “Spread your legs a little. I’m close.” You listened without question, giving him what he wanted. 

You watched the veins protrude from his forearms, some painted black with the ink of his tattoos. The hand not wrapped around his cock cupped his balls ever so slightly, tugging on them a little before he tensed and groaned. The first spurt of cum shot out and landed on his stomach, then another, it slipped into the lines of his abs. The third load slowed and he tugged his fingers tight across the tip, over and over again, draining each drop. It thickened in the air and slid down his length, getting on his fingers too. You observed all this greedily. What a sight to behold. 

A couple of tissues later for him and your robe tied back around your body, you were both grinning and giggling like a pair of idiots together, still on a high. 

“We need to incorporate that into the real deal more,” Jungkook said, referring to the vibrator now stood on your bedside table. “Let me be in charge.” 

“It’s got to make its way back home first,” you joked. 

You had climbed into bed by now, welcoming the warmth and annoyingly your eyes started to feel heavy. 

“You tired?” Jungkook noticed straight away. 

“I can stay up a little longer,” you insisted, wanting to chat with him before you fell asleep. A text or a phone call just wasn’t the same, and even though it’s only been a few days, you missed him like crazy. “What did you eat for dinner?” You asked, making small talk. 

He raised both eyebrows, eyes wide. “Do you really want me to answer that?” 

No, probably not. You knew the answer already. 

It was always a ramen diet for Jungkook when you were away...  

Written 2020. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2020

[cyclone-rachel]

thoughts on The Boys, season 3

Episode 7

okay, penultimate episode time!

“this series deals with sensitive issues, including death by suicide and contains scenes that could be sexual, graphic, or taboo in nature. No living people or animals were harmed or coerced. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.”

Well geez, where was this warning for the rest of the show up to now?

strong quotations around “rehab”

they think Homelander dumped her?

that certainly looks like a mistake

which is what?

he’s not wrong

oh my god

this scene is wild

so he actually has powers here?

fucker

get away from her!!!

ooooooh

You stepped on one of them, Homelander

She’d be fine losing her powers if it meant getting the fuck away from you

ew. ew. ew.

you also probably imagined having kids with the literal nazi

Are you sure?

you’re a fucking creeper and I hate you

what are the other two?

I love Annie and Kimiko so much

I don’t know if that’s as easy as it sounds

Basically, yes

“Aside from the two of us, I guess.”

no good ever comes from a place like this

is he a brony

okay I guess not

ERIC BAUZA? ONE OF MY FAVES ERIC BAUZA? NICE

this is weirder than that time the Deep hallucinated his gills talking to him

That’s gross

oh shit what was that

Ah, Butcher’s in his mind-prison

He sure says some wild shit

yeah so this dude is terrifying actually

And what do you care about the Lord?

Everyone’s a mess here.

Damn, Annie

that doesn’t mean he isn’t worth saving

You just lost them, and you were happy about it

I love her so much

I agree with Hughie here, man.

Give her some credit.

do you want to have a threesome with her and an octopus?

oh my GOD that was a JOKE

the deep: I can excuse sexual assault but I draw the line at sea creature misgendering

Hey, he offered to share.

who’s Dave Eggers

oh geez what is this

“Black Sheep Noir”, I love it

YIKES

YIKES. YIKES. YIKES.

young Butcher is perfect, like in terms of acting

yeah you can see exactly where he got his life philosophy from

The guys from the Believe conference?

Not a good combination

And clearly Hughie doesn’t want to be a soldier

fuck you, Homelander

Liar, lying liar

do you think the media caught that?

thanks, Vic

Homelander you weirdo

Again, thank you, Vic

Are you sure he’s going to be the president?

But you’re gonna fuck anyway probably

What’s her favor?

Oh, he’s okay.

Ashley, putting the “gaslight” in “gaslight gatekeep girlboss”

what in the goddamn fuck

this is just like those weird memes about one direction I think

Your wife’s gonna find out now

sorry what

Kimiko, honey

he’d always dance with you

Do you really think that would work?

are we going to see what it says

yes! yes! yes!

I love them so much

My good brave girl

Annie do you know what you’re doing

oh dear

why is he getting this narrated to him?

OH NO

ouch

So that’s what really happened

thank you, MM

I’m glad she’s not okay with it

dude. he has Starlight in his home right now

How do you know that?

oh noooooo

Annie get out of there girl

fucking asshole

love you, Annie

lots of windchimes

You don’t sound chill

He’s not going to put on underwear?

Aww, Hughie admitting Butcher is his friend

and now I’m hoping for a Hughie and Kimiko conversation

Aw, Butcher no

this certainly isn’t foreshadowing anything at all

oh that went THROUGH his eye

ouch

the green light for what?

what’s impossible?

the John Walker Special right there, everyone

is Butcher okay

so like in Uglies

He’s not gonna tell him

Oh no

how long do you have?

thank you, Annie

Well, shit

You’re so gross

DAD? HE’S A FATHER? HE’S HOMELANDER’S FATHER?

[ohhmyheart5678]

When in the streets of seoul (7)

*warning* this mentions death, murder, suicide, guns, and other gruesome and dark content if you are sensitive to these kinds of things do not read the it

Pairing: Chan x female reader

Word count: 1.8k

Previous/next

********

Chris and I talk at yongsan for hours. It was the most time I've ever spent with him, and I can honestly say that I began to see him in a new light.

Everything changed from that moment on. I don't know what it was about sitting four hours in your favorite park in the fall time which the orange leaves that had fallen around as time passed that opened us up, but whatever it did was magic.

Chris had told me about his childhood and how his father was also in a mafia so it was inevitable for him, but when it was time for him to take over he realized he wanted to start his own.

That's when he found Changbin and jisung two lost kids not having anywhere to go, he needed people to join and they were talented plus they had nowhere else to go and saying no to Chris pretty much is never a real option.

From there he just kept taking in boys that needed a home but that would benefit him in some way. In a way I found it sweet, did they have an option? Maybe not but at least he was giving them a home. I hated to say it but something in me agreed with it, and suddenly my heart felt like it jumped out of my chest.

Was it Stockholm syndrome? It had to be just more than that right?

He told me he had lost his mom in a war between his dad and another mafia. It was a hard time for him and that's when he realized hat whoever  he ended up with, he was gonna protect them with his life and that there was no way he was gonna let what happened to his mother happen to them.

"What about you? Anything interesting about your parents?" he says leaning on the bench for support. I could tell that he was fully engaged and paying attention. Chris always payed attention to details, to everything. That was one of his biggest strengths was reading people but to him,I was the hardest person to read.

" Besides my dad being a detective that's been on your case?" I giggled, I mean that had to be interesting enough right? "Besides that smarty pants!" He scrunched his nosed a little at me."Remember when I told you that I like coming to this park a lot?" Of course he remembers it's the whole reason he brought me here, but I needed a way to start the conversation. Chris hummed as a way of telling me to keep talking. "Well my mom and I used to come here every Sunday and eat ice cream ever since I was a kid" the Aussie just nodded his head and waited for me to continue.

"A few months ago actually a month before my dad was set on your case my mom committed suicide" this was something I really didn't talk to with anyone and the fact that I was sharing it with him took a lot but I needed to get it off my chest.

"She jumped off of Lottie world tower which was weird because she was always so happy, at least I thought she was" Chris's face changed and suddenly the atmosphere turned really dark. "Was you're mother's name Autumn Grey?" He leaned closer almost as if he needed to make sure he because didn't want to miss the answer. "Y-yah! how'd you know?" Did he know something about my mother's death I didn't know? I'm sure he saw that a million questions was running in my head because he was very quick to respond.

"Oh, it was all over the news. I felt sorry for her family" He couldn't stand my gaze, now it was my turn to read Chris but turning off his any signs of emotions was as easy as breathing for him. "Anyways maybe we should get outta here" Chris shoots up from his spot. He holds a hand out for me to grab and I grab on to it to stand myself up.

We're walking in Korea at 10pm at night, the air is freezing cold. Walking down the street with the gold and orange leaves crunching beneath our feet besides that, Silence was the only thing between us and neither of us cared enough to break it. Until Chris finally decides to speak up.

"Kinely there something I wanted to ask" He caused us to stop and stand in the middle of the sidewalk. "What do you think of when you think of me?" The question took me by surprise. It wasn't a question I was prepared to answer yet.

How could I tell him when think about him I think about not only power and smarts, wittyness and charm, I thought about love and passion, commitment. I thought about how fast my heart beats when I even just look at him.

"I-I don't know" I stutter, looking at the ground. I couldn't even look at him not now, not when he looks as amazing as he does right at this very moment. The truth is when it came to Chris I always avoided his eyes because when I looked into them I could feel myself sinking in.

"I wanna know what goes inside your head" Christopher grabs my chin to make me look at him. Now I had no choice but to look him in the eyes.

"I need to know what goes on inside your head because I need to know how you feel about me. I can read everyone like a book but when it comes you I can't tell a thing and it drives me insane. I feel something with you kinely, it's like I'm a whole other person when I'm with you and I don't know if it's a good or bad thing but I wanna figure it out with you. I need to know if you feel same way I do about you" With every word he spoke Chris would inch closer and closer to my face. Soon there wasn't any space left , his lips grazed against mine and a shiver went down my spine.

He looked into my eyes for approval and me nodding was the only thing he needed before he sealed the final space between us.

My whole body went numb, I almost couldn't feel anything anymore at this point. The only thing I felt was my heart jumping out of my chest and just how soft and delicate the kiss was. It was almost as if he felt that he needed to handle me with care.

When he pulled away it felt as if he had casted a love spell on me. Why was I feeling this way? "I- um.. let's go home shall we?" Suddenly the confident Chan , leader of stray kids was no longer with me. It was Christopher just a shy ordinary guy who was now amongst us. We continued to walk home both of us grinning from ear to ear.

As soon we got home Chris walked me to my room. "Thank you Chris today was... different, in a good way" we both awkwardly laugh as I tuck a strand of curly hair behind my ear. "Goodnight kinely. I hope we have more nights like this in the future" he crosses his arms behind his back. I only nod in response "Goodnight Chris" I give him a wave before closing the door.

I quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth. I put on my pajamas and head to bed. Tonight changed everything and little did I know that 'everything' was bigger than just my love life.

Waking up in the morning I sat there in bed to fully wake up. I look at the speaker and almost pushed the number on it when I realized I don't have wait for them anymore. I needed to figure out how to get to the kitchen even if it means getting lost but luckily on my way I ran into my favorite oranged haired boy.

"Well if it isn't my favorite Aussie in the world" I smiled at him and he happily returned it. "We both know Chan is your favorite Aussie " Felix playfully rolled his eyes at me. I assumed he had just woken up not too long ago as well due to the fact the his hair was all over the place and his voice was a little deeper and raspier than normal.

"Whatever! Hey can you point me in the direction where the food is?" I wiggle my eyebrows, Felix shook his head at me. "Just say the kitchen you weirdo" he walks down the hall and looks behind him once he realized that I wasn't following him.

"Are you coming? " Felix rubs his eyes with he back of his hands still trying to wake up all the way. "Right I totally was" he laughs at me knowing that I was lying but I then began to follow and he proceeded to lead me to the kitchen. Once we arrived there a few of the boys that were already there including Chris and Hyunjin.

Everyone was starring at me and Hyunjin looked slightly irritated about something. Changbin , Minho , and seugmin all had a weird grin on their face that I couldn't quite read. "Ow ya goin mate?" Chris greeted Felix bright and happy Felix just waved not really in the mood to talk at the moment. We both sit down at the table, me sitting next to Changbin and Felix next to seugmin. "Good morning babygirl" Chris greets and my eyes widen.

I wasn't used to him calling me that but I honestly didn't hate it. "Morning Chris" we both showed off our dimpled smile displaying it to eachother. "Morning guys" the boys greet me and Minho gives Chris a look. What is going on with everyone today? Felix noticed it too because he raised an eyebrow and looked between the both of us. "I wanna know the secret!! Did I miss something?" His curiosity got the best of him but all he got in return were smirks and shrugged shoulders. I just shook it off and decided to talk to my favorite brown haired boy. "Hey Hyunjin how'd you sleep?" I gave him a soft smile.

Hyunjin quickly stands up "excuse me, I'm not hungry. I'll just head to my room now." Was all he said before storming off. I looked at the other boys hoping they could answer my questions but they too looked just as confused as I was.

***

Previous/next

[notsosmexy]

Heavens Love || Reggie x reader

Chapter four of ‘Heavens Love’ 

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 5 

A/N: OOooOo we back! Enjoy!

Word count: 3k

Taglist

Wanna be added to the series taglist? Just send an ask!

You walked up to your locker and put your code in. Once you had all your books, someone tapped your shoulder, making you turn around quickly. To your surprise, it was Carrie. She pointed at something not too far away and left. You arched your brow but looked at where she had pointed. 

It was Julie, singing in the middle of the hallway, doing some amazing dance. You wanted to stop her, so she didn't embarrass herself. But you couldn't move. You could tell she didn't mind, or she didn't notice. Either way, you stared at her like everyone else. Her eyes were closed and she had a huge smile on her face.  

You leaned on your locker with a smirk, when she came to get her books. She gave a small smile and took her headphones out. A boy who you had seen once or twice, tapped her shoulder.  

'Are you done?' visible confusion could be seen on her face. You suppressed a laugh. ' Can I have those back?' he pointed towards Julie's back pocket. 

'Oh..' she grabbed them and gave them to the guy. She turned on her heels and faced her locker once again. You and Julie were both laughing and you could hear Flynn running up to you both. 

'Omg Julie!' she smiled. 

'Whats up?'

'Nothing, glad to see you back to your…weirdo self' You laughed

Julie rolled her shoulders and gave a small chuckle 'Thanks?'

Flynn playfully rolled her eyes 'So, how's the band? Still hot? Still talented? Still..dead?' 

You put your head in your hands. 'Flynn..' you couldn't help but laugh a little. 'They can't be… undead'

Flynn shrugged her shoulders 'We're undead' you blinked once or twice. What goes on in this kids brain? Is all you could think.

Julie looked between both you and Flynn. 'Anywayssss, Luke and I spent all weekend writing songs… wanna hear some of them?' 

'Duh!' you and Flynn both said. Julie nodded her head and you both walked towards the music room. On your way there you saw Carrie form the corner of your eye. You gave a small wave but she didn't seem to notice, instead she was looking at something or someone in front of you. You stopped in your tracks and followed her gaze. Your eyes went big once you realized who she was looking at.

'Could be nothing' you tried to reassure yourself. You ran to the music room, to make sure you didn't miss any of Julie's music playing. 

'So this is-' 

'I'M HERE!' You shouted while panting a bit. You weren't the greatest at running you had it admit. Flynn smiled and Julie cleared her throat. 

'Right, here's the first song them and I wrote.' she sat down at the piano. 'Here's some of the chorus' she started playing and you smiled. It was amazing and had a fun beat to it. 

'Wow! I like it! Def Gaga vibes' Flynn stated. You nodded your head to show you agreed. Julie smiled. 

'Now um...here's something me and my mom were working on' Your smile faltered a little. She started playing once again and once again, you love it. You could tell Julie worked hard to get it right. 

'thats- that's beautiful' You and Flynn said at the same time. 

'Now,' Flynn smirked at Julie, changing the subject. 'You have a crush. And this name is Luke.'

'And he's a ghost!' you finished her sentence and Flynn pointed towards you. Julie's mouth fell agape.

'What? No! Luke's a ghost.' she stated, but you knew Flynn wasn't having any of it.  

'A cute ghost.' Flynn stated.

Julie scrunched her nose up. 'with a perfect smile.' she finally gave in.

'Ha! We knew it's you said to Julie while Flynn high fives you but missed. You rubbed your shoulder where she accidentally hit you and she gave a quite sorry. 

Flynn looked back at Julie, you doing the same. 'Just don't get hurt'

'Obviously you guys have a connection' you added. 

'Everyone’s been talking about when you're going to play again' Flynn put her hand on her hip and took out her phone. 

'Lucky for youuu…' You waited for Flynn to finish.

'Your marketing team has been way ahead of it.' Flynn smirked and gave a small flick of her hair.  

'I… I don't have a marketing team.' Julie gave you both a confused look. 

'Yes you do!' you pulled out a flyer from your backpack and Flynn did some jazz hands.

'No wait-' 

'it's all over the school!' before Julie could protest again Flynn's phone buzzed. 'Sorry, it already has 66 likes' you. Shook your head with a smile.  You and Flynn walked don't, leaving Julie behind. You could hear her telling you guys to wait and you both just laughed. 

As you all walked down the hallway to get to your class, you once again saw Carrie. She didn't seem to care that you were walking past. She was busy on her phone, like always, but you could tell something was different. 

'Guys, go without me, I gotta do something.' Both girls looked at you but nodded their heads. You waved goodbye and turned around to go see Carrie. She was walking towards the bathroom and you knew this was  going to be so awkward.

You walked into the light pink washroom and stood in front of a mirror. You waited a couple of seconds and soon enough Carrie walked out. She gave you a small glare, but it seemed fake. 

'Carrie, you don't need to pretend it's just me and you. Nobody else.'

She licked her lips and thought for a moment. She sighed and nodded her head. 

‘Hi Y/N’ she mumbled and turned to look at herself in the mirror. 

You nodded your head slightly and looked around. ‘So, I uh, I saw you staring at-’

‘Don’t’ Carrie quickly interrupted. ‘Its nothing. I don’t- i don’t like her’ She looked like she was going to cry. ‘Even if I-i did, she’d n-never like me’ 

You gave her a sad look and opened her arms. She practically ran into them, her arms around your neck. She smelt good, like honey and sugar. Her cold wet tears were hitting the cloth on your shoulder. Every single one slowly crept through the fabric, making your shoulder wet. After a while she let go and stepped back. She gave you a small smile and rubbed her eyes.

‘Sorry’ She sniffed. You shook your head and gave her a small toothy grin.

‘Don’t be… i’m sure she likes you to’ To be honest you had no idea if Flynn did. She’s never been one to talk about who she likes. She’d never even spread Carrie a glance after… the thing happened. 

‘Maybe…’ Before either of you could say anything else, the bell rang. You both walked out of the bathroom and went  your separate ways. The whole time you were walking to your class, you couldn’t stop thinking about...everything. There was Luke and Julie, Willy and Alex, Flynn and Carrie and You and Reggie. Too many people were falling in love.

****

‘I wasn't in love with the idea at first as well, but it'll be a great way to up our following.’ Julie was watering the plants, while you, Luke and Reggie stood around the piano. Reggie gently put the paper down and nodded his head a bit.

‘Ya, ya! We can play wherever we can and whenever we can’ Reggie stated and a smile had grown on his face. 

‘And then, you guys put out a new album!’ You said happily and Reggie snapped his fingers and pointed at Julie. 

‘Than release a country album’ You shook your head. ‘That does surprisingly well’ He turned towards you but you keep shaking your head. Julie gave Reggie a look and Luke looked a little disgusted. ‘I shred on the banjo so...’ Reggie shrugged his shoulders and acted like it was no big deal.

‘Then i'll  learn how to play the fiddle,’ You said jokingly and Reggie gave you a side hug. 

‘And before you know it, we're being inducted into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.’ Luke gazed into the distance. He snapped out of it once Reggie started talking. 

‘But one of us isn't there’ you stared at him, half confused, half emmussed. ‘ Because we had a blowout in 2032. My moneys on Alex, he's just to sensitive.’ he shrugged his shoulders and you laughed quietly. 

‘Let’s get rehearsing!’ Luke pushed himself off the piano and spun on his heels. You turned around but remembered Alex wasn't there. Julie must have read your mind cause the next thing she said was exactly what you were going to say.

‘Wheres Alex?’

‘We can start without him.. He’ll be back soon’ Luke reassured you all. You leaned against something and watched them all get ready. Reggie gave you a wink and they all started playing. You blushed and looked at the ground for a few seconds. 

Once you lifted your head again, you heard a poof and Alex was suddenly through the door.

‘Hey Y/N’ you smiled and gave him a wave. 

‘Dude, where have you been?’ Luke stopped playing and let his guitar dangle. ‘We need to practice.’

‘Oh, really?’ Alex looked at Julie, his eyebrows scrunched together. ‘For what?’ 

Before anyone could answer, the door opened only to reveal Flynn. She was wearing her vibrant pink beanie, her lock necklace and the jean jacket you gave to her last year.

‘Dance news!’ she practically screamed while doing some weird pose. ‘I don't have a date but, I'm so psyched to see you guys perform!’ 

‘Oh man! We're playing a dance?’ Alex whined and looked at the guys. 

‘Course, man’ Luke sat on a red chair. ‘That's how we get a following nowadays’

‘Ya, get with the program Alex’ Julie mocked and Luke playfully scoffed. Flynn looked at you and Julie.  

‘What? They guys are here?’ she tutted and flipped her hair casually.’Hey guys!’ she waved in the opposite direction.

‘Other way, sweetie’ you said, giving her a taunting smirk. Oh was all she said and turned to wave at them. All  of them waved back, not that she could tell.

‘OK, well, now that Alex has graced us with his presence-’ you cut Luke off.

‘You should start practicing!’ You threw your hands in the air and Julie looked amused. ‘Wanna stick around?’ You turned around and asked Flynn. 

‘Im supposed to blow up 500 balloons for the school dance..’ she sighed but smiled. ‘This sounds way more fun though’ you all laughed. 

‘Hey Julie!’ Carlos walked into the studio and you heard Luke sigh. ‘Remember those orbs in dad's pictures? I...I think their ghosts.’ You turned to the boys with wide eyes, them doing the same to you. 

‘But don't worry!’ He slammed the pictures onto the piano. ‘ This room is...is’ he did a whole 360. ‘This room is clean. I'm not getting the ghost tinglies’ He whispered the last part like it was a secret. 

‘Wrong again little dude’ You all gave Reggie an amused look. Suddenly Carlos started yelling. 

‘Have no fear! If they come back I will protect you! Because I am the man of this house!’ Carlos stated, looking proud of himself.

‘Isn't dad the man of the house?’ Julie asked. 

‘There can be two’ they both chuckled. ‘Dad needs all the help he can get right? Now, according to the internet, salt burns their souls out.’ Everyone turned towards each other with panic written all over their faces. ‘A little sprinkle will keep them from ever coming here’ He threw it everywhere and some landed on Alex.

‘No! Oh! Oh god im…’ he looked at his hands. ‘Im fine. I'm totally fine.’ he raised his head with a proud smile. 

‘Oh! Carlos you know who's hungry? Me and...Y/N. Why don't you salt us a path to the kitchen’ You gave Flynn a look and shook your head. 

‘No, I need to-’ before you could continue, Carlos took your arm and started dragging you along, while salting a path. 

‘Don't worry Y/N you won't miss much!’ Your boyfrie- Reggie yelled behind you.

@tclerateit @sarcasticallywitty15 @killingbxys @calltothewild @well-hes-just-too-cute​ 

[unknownblanked]

Shameless self promotion

Main character: OC

Pairings: OC x Reborn

My fic:

*Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn*

*Rating M*

Summary: I have never wanted anything other than to be a boss. Sorry dear brother of mine, but I will become a better boss than you would ever become. Warning: M for a reason, not for innocent souls. 2 days updates

Kinda BL since MC who used to be a girl became a guy after transmigration. But idk what to even say at this point

Genre: fantasy/adventure/romance

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13908034/1/

First chapter preview:

Chapter 1

"Eff you! Eff me! Eff the world!" She shrieked with her lungs, hand pointed at the sky.

"I wanna hold guns and look cool in suits! I wanna be pardoned by university to become a boss! I wanna have a gang while playing background music!"

"IF I EVER REINCARNATE TO KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN, I'LL BECOME VONGOLA DECIMOOOOOOOO!"

Darkness enveloped her as she sunk deeper into the abyss, not knowing what was going on after that flash that blinded her eyes. Could it be isekai truck-kun? She scoffed at her own words, not believing a single thing that came out of her own thoughts. She felt a shuffle, then a thump as her whole world lifted in the air. Suddenly, a baby's cry chortled beside her, screaming.

What was going on? Was she being carried into some kind of ambulance? A hospital? Did she give birth-What? But she was still 19 years old and never touched a man's hand! The baby's cry grew louder, almost piercing her in the ears.

Was it even possible for her to remain conscious even though she couldn't open her eyes? She tried lifting her eyelids, but it remained glued shut, as if this impenetrable force was clamping down her eyes, telling her not to look.

A waft of air blew on her chest.

"[Papa! Look at them! Twins!]"

A woman's voice rang out loudly, but her tone was soft and melodic as the sounds of humans floated into her ears.

'...Japanese?'

"[Ah, but one isn't crying.]"

A man's voice rang out this time in front of her as she tried deciphering the words with all her experiences of watching anime for over 10 years. Crying? Did the man just say that 'one isn't crying?' Was he pointing to someone in the room?

She felt her whole world tip over before trying to flail, confusion ringing inside her mind before-

Slap!

"Waaaaaaaaah!"

'What the eff, bro?!'

She felt so sensitive-so...naked!

'Call my lawyer! I will sue you till you don't even have the freedom of speech! Lawyer! Lawyer!'

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalw!" She yelped her syllables that couldn't pop out of her mouth and tried again.

"Wawawawa-"

Something was weird. Very weird.

"[I think we've got ourselves a little weirdo from the get-go!]"

Her butt stung as she tried blinking her eyes, gasping twice and shaking her head to wake her up from this bad dream. Her vision stung the moment she did, lights blinding her as she screamed again, trying to bat away the light with her flimsy small fists. Through her blurry vision, she saw a man grinning from ear to ear before throwing her over his shoulder and patting her on the back. She humped, dry launching from the action as the woman's soft laughter rang from behind as her own eyes closed shut again.

What did she see? She didn't see clearly, but the world was so...colorful.

"[I think I have a name for this little weirdo already!]"

Name? What name? What the hell were these two strangers talking about? And why in the hell was she able to understand Japanese so clearly? And they messed up her pronouns-and-

She tried hard, fighting her clamped eyes, 'Almost there!'

"Sawada Isago! Golden dust for my career!"

Isago slammed his eyes open, blinking rapidly at the man who was now throwing his small body into the air, his golden-amber eyes completely dazzling Isago.

"Waah da dak."

His first words were swear words in English.

She stared absentmindedly out the front porch. No, he stared absentmindedly out the front porch this fine morning. The sky was bright blue while Isago glanced at the buzzing street of Namimori, a small town located at the edges of Japan. In the corner of his eyes, he saw a small bird land on one of the tree branches before someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Isa..go! Let's play!" Tsuna smiled sweetly at his younger brother, holding up his teddy in one hand. They were at the young age of four, Tsuna being born just minutes earlier than Isago. They seemed like twins, but one preferred a shorter hairstyle than the other, and their hair was in different colours.

"Hm...sure! What do you want to play?" Isago answered like how a four-year-old should and pushed himself onto his feet. Tsuna squeezed his teddy, pondering a bit before tilting his head to the side.

Tsuna was exactly the same in the anime, with spiky brown hair and brown eyes that shone brightly in the sun, his soft features held more of some baby fat than what was portrayed in the graphics, but still, Tsuna resembled Vongola Primo.

'Definitely a descendant of the Vongola family,' Isago quirked his lips as Tsuna explained his game of hide and seek, except the purpose was to hide and find teddy.

"Sure!" Isago chirped, holding his hand out for the teddy. "I'll go first then, since you never do, Tsuna."

Tsuna beamed brightly at his younger brother, giving his teddy over before Isago pointed to a wall in the corner of the room and Tsuna plodded over, covering his eyes as he started to count down from 100. Isago smiled slightly, tip-toeing to the washroom and turning on the lights to hide the teddy behind the rows and rows of shampoo bottles in one of the cupboards.

Isago frowned a bit when he realized that he couldn't reach the board, placed the teddy on the table and walked to the toilet that was beside the sink. He stepped onto the toilet, using it as his stepping stone and slammed his small hands onto the table, heaving himself upwards. Snatching the teddy from the original spot, Isago opened the cupboard and organized the bottles as a coverup, arranging the bottles so that not even the ears of the brown toy were visible from an adult's point of view.

Isago stepped down the table, plopping quietly onto his feet before listening to the countdown from Tsuna's mouth at the number 40. Isago smiled carefully, closing the lights as his gold eyes flashed through the mirror once, and Isago made his way to Tsuna's bedroom. Mom was cooking in the kitchen and humming about dad's arrival today.

Isago had retained his father's golden eyes, and yet had a shade of mocha as his hair color. Neither dad nor mom had the hair color, but Nana assumed that it was because her predecessor's hair color was close to black in the past. In contrast to Tsuna's spiky hair, Isago had flatter hair and was long, to the point that it was possible to tie it into a semi-ponytail. He had bangs covering the front in a slanted way, almost completely contrasting to Tsuna's cute and fluffy hair. Well, not that it mattered to Isago.

What was concerning to Isago, was that he was born as a boy.

"Ready or not, here I come!"

Isago heard Tsuna call from the bottom of the stairs before his small footsteps plattered onto the wood. Isago stared momentarily at the door before purposefully closing it and plopping down on Tsuna's bed. The bedsheets ruffled, crinkling a bit and Isago stared at his own crotch.

What the heck, this was so weird to have. It was so tiring to constantly have a thing dangling in between his legs. Even though it didn't hurt or feel uncomfortable, this new addition was a very mind-blowing...experience. Manspreading was also a new thing.

"Isago…?" Tsuna's face peeped into his own room and giggled before skipping over to his brother. "You must have placed teddy here!"

"I don't know," Isago replied with a small smirk. "Why don't you try and find it?"

"Teddy! Teddy!" Tsuna called cutely as if the bear was able to reply back to him.

"Tsuna, if you can find it then I'll ask mom to make your favourite Salisbury steak that she only makes when dad comes home!" Isago called as Tsuna's eyes fired up intensely.

"Steak! Steak! Steak!" Tsuna batted his fists on his crouched knees and started to chant it like some kind of song. Joy could be seen all over his face as he rustled his piles of stuff in the closet, then turned over to his desk and started rummaging in the drawers.

"Steak, steak, steaky, steak-"

Isago smiled secretly, knowing that Tsuna had no knowledge of dad coming home today. Honestly, Isago didn't know what to describe his dad. A good dad? No, he left his wife basically widowed from the moment they were born. A bad dad? You couldn't say that either.

Then again, mama never worked, so it was plausible to think that the house was bought and supplied with money from dad every year. Not to mention that the house was quite large for a family of three. Dad was probably also preparing the house to be the main hideout for the future Vongola.

"Iemitsu Sawada, huh?" Isago murmured his dad's name under his lips.

There was a reason why his dad stationed his family near the unknown town of Namimori. It was probably in order to protect them from the mafia. So in the end, was he a good dad? Isago watched Tsuna's fluffy hair swish in the lights as the sound of tires echoed into the neighborhood.

Isago lifted his eyebrows at the sound, turning his head to Tsuna's open window to see a short black car parked a few meters away from the Sawada residence. Isago stood up slowly, walking towards the window and hopped onto a small step box and leaned on the wall, crossing his arms together as he peered outside.

"Tsuna, let's rank this game harder. You have exactly 100 seconds like the countdown to find your teddy, or else the promise is off," Isago turned to Tsuna who's eyes widened like saucers, gasping before throwing his hands into the depths of his drawers.

"That's not fair, Isago!" The boy whimpered as Isago started to count the numbers from 100, forcing the small boy to sweat. Inside, Isago spotted a blond head popping out of the driver's seat.

The man was wearing orange overalls that were only pulled onto his waist. His dirty sweatshirt was worn in a fashion that showed his armpit hair clearly even from far away. The sight was disgusting.

"Men," Isago made a face, recognizing that it was his father. "66...67...68...69…"

"Isago! Slow down!" Tsuna wailed and rummaged through his toy box, tears streaming down his face at the decreasing numbers. Iemitsu pulled a construction hat out of the front side, then walked to the passenger's seat, opening the door to reveal another man wearing a blue vacation shirt with pink flowers on it.

The man stepped out of the car, smiling widely at his assistant who passed him a straw hat. As if the man noticed, his eyes flashed to the window, meeting the gaze of Isago. There was curiosity and wonder that passed through the male's eyes, but then greeted the child by lifting his hat and giving a salute which Isago returned with a polite nod.

'Vongola ninth,' Isago addressed the man quickly, curling his lips at the status before turning back to Tsuna, the numbers ending with the last count of zero.

"Isaaaagoo!" Tsuna sobbed into his long-sleeved sweater, sniffing as the sleeve soaked up his snot. "I couldn't find it-I'm sorry!"

Isago's eyes softened at the small boy, hopping down from the stepping box before crouching next to Tsuna who was on his knees.

"Tsuna, Tsuna, why are you sorry?" Isago patted Tsuna on the shoulders. Tsuna threw his arm down, staring at Isago who had a soft smile on his face.

"Be-because Isago's favorite...also steak…" the young boy blew his wet cheeks and Isago chuckled, pulling his brother into a large hug. That was not exactly true, Isago's favourite was sweet parfaits rather than savory main course meals, but Nana had never brought the two to a sweets cafe so Isago had made up his preferences to match Tsuna's.

"How about this, I'll magically transform the steak onto the table if you promise me one thing," Isago patted Tsuna who blew into his shoulder. Momentarily, Isago made a face of disgust, but once thinking that they were from the same blood, a smile was forcefully plastered onto his soft features.

Tsuna also realized his own misdoings, instantly freezing before wiping his own sleeve on Isago's shoulder, trying to correct the snot, only to make it smear even wider on the hoodie.

"I'll have to change my clothes," Isago sighed before pushing Tsuna away and walking to his own room. Tsuna followed like an abandoned puppy. His two fingers fiddled as he watched Isago pull his T-shirt off, and grabbed a random sweater before pulling it over his head.

"Mm sorry Isago…" Tsuna trailed off, staring guilty on the ground as Isago's head emerged out. "I will promise anything that you want! Forever!"

'What a dangerous promise, Tsuna,' Isago's eyes glimmered before turning towards his brother. The shadows in his room casted upon Isago's face as his grin widened almost too maliciously.

"Then promise me Tsuna, no matter what the circumstance you must not harm me. If you do, then our relationship as brothers are over." Isago's hair fell over his eyes as he brushed it back, getting a clear look at the boy's small face.

"Harm?" Tsuna tilted his head curiously at the word, repeating to make sure he pronounced it correctly. "What's that?"

"It means that I will be gone from your life forever, Tsuna," Isago's voice deepen with glee at the horror that flashed through the boy's face. Tsuna's hands instantly clutched the sides of his shorts, shaking his head furiously.

"I will never harm you! I will never! Never!"

"Good," Isago walked closer to his dear brother, jerking his thumb under Tsuna's teary eyes. The young boy looked fragile and broken at Isago's words, almost as if he couldn't imagine living without Isago.

"Because I love you so much that it may serve as a double-edged sword to both of us," Isago gave little Tsuna a small peck on his cheeks, smirking at Tsuna's pouting face as his fingers clutched the edges of Isago's sweater.

"I wove you too," Tsuna buried his face into his brother's sweater, murmuring the phrase until the front door was pushed open and mama's clear voice rang through the house, calling the two boys down.

It was true, Tsuna was a precious little brother to Isago, even if Tsuna was legally the older one. But that didn't matter in front of power. If Tsuna stood in the way of succession, then Isago would cut off Tsuna's arms and legs to prevent Tsuna from overtaking the throne. That was how cold-hearted Isago was.

But then again, was Isago able to do it?

That's why Isago would give Tsuna the choice. He would not harm Tsuna until his own brother decided that Isago was a threat to the family and his life. He would let Tsuna break their relationship, and make him wallow in despair. As long as Tsuna loved him, Isago would let him go. But if Tsuna disobeyed, then everything will be over.

"Come on, brother," Isago gestured towards the door, stepping forward with Tsuna holding him. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Iemitsu was grinning at both boys, arms extended.

"Weirdo Isago! TsunaTsuna! Papa is back home!"

The two boys huddled over to their papa, Tsuna waddling towards him while Isago was pulled into a large embrace, dad's hand ruffling in his hair as Isago grinned at the man. The smell of sweat and tobacco filled Isago's nostrils, instantly making him suppress a sour face at his own father. Mama giggled at the family reunion while Isago's eyes trailed to her, gesturing for a group hug.

"Oh, dear!" Mama threw herself into the group hug and Iemitsu kissed her sloppily on the cheeks, rubbing her face with fondness. It was then Tsuna noticed a stranger behind dad, smiling sweetly at the family after Tsuna opened his mouth with quivering fear.

"Oh, Tsuna! Don't worry, this is Timoteo-" Dad looked over at the grandfather figure, releasing all of us as he gestured politely at the man. "-My boss."

"Welcome!" Nana grinned, lowering her body into a 90-degree bow. "Thank you for taking care of my husband all this time!"

Isago glanced towards his mom, then followed, repeating the same words of thanks. Tsuna only stood there, confused and not knowing what to do and hid behind his mother, clutching her apron.

"Tsuna!" Mom bickered with a sigh but smiled soon afterwards. She patted me on the head as a 'good job' before apologizing for her son's imprudence.

"That isn't a problem," Timoteo said, softening his eyes at us before crouching down to our eye level. "I have to thank you for having such a wonderful father that I can trust."

'Of course, you're literally naming his son as successor,' Isago thought bitterly before pulling Tsuna out from behind mom. 'So who is it going to be? Tsuna, or me?'

Vongola ninth had to choose between the two of them because they were the only ones that would be left in the Vongola bloodline. If what Isago remembered was correct, there was more than one successor to the Vongola line, but they all died, which left Tsuna being the only one that could inherit the family.

Tsuna's hand started to quake before Isago squeezed it reassuringly, giving him a small nudge. Tsuna was still hesitating so Isago started first.

"I'm Isago, this is Tsuna, my older brother!" He deliberately said, lowering his head as Tsuna, this time, followed his younger brother's lead.

"Oh, he's the older one, huh?" Timoteo turned his gentle gaze towards the older brother and nodded. Isago pleaded that they were going to leave the throne of successor to the worthy, not the older. Isago was going to prove himself worthy, prove himself, to be a better leader than his brother.

Tsuna was not suited as a leader, maybe in the long run of taking care of his family members, yes, but Isago was more of a leader in the expanding and influential way.

'Give the role of successor to me, and I will hold Vongola to its glory. I will make Vongola the strongest in history, and it will flourish more than the past ten generations combined.'

Isago wanted the Vongola position. He wanted it desperately.

As if Timoteo could hear Isago's thoughts, the grandfather's eyes turned to the younger sibling, staring at him hard. Isago didn't move his eyes, only stared back and tried to convey the message through his gaze.

'Give it to me, I want it. I need it.'

Timoteo's gaze deepened, opening his mouth to say something as conflict passed through his face, then clamped his mouth shut. Iemitsu, sensing that something was sort of amidst, invited his boss into the house, telling the group that he was famished. Nana gasped, pardoning her forgetfulness before guiding the guest to the table.

Isago let go of the breath he held inside, looking towards Tsuna who was staring at the grandfather.

[ais-for-alex]

The RIDER Nature Reserve: Chapter 2

So I’m probably just going to upload this as I edit which might end up with several chapters a day then nothing for awhile 😄

James Potter was a picture of contentment. Currently he was burrowed into one of the well-worn holes in his parents’ old loved couch, propped up by countless throw pillows and buried somewhere underneath several plush Sherpa lined blankets. Opposite him James younger sister Lily was reading a dense looking book while simultaneously trying to shove her foot into James’s face.

Within the Potter household Wednesday night dinners had become the traditional family gathering once they had all graduated from Hogwarts. Every week they would gather in their parents’ cozy home for their mum's delicious cooking, everyone throwing lighthearted jabs at each other over the dinner table. These had become James favorite night of the week. So far only James and Lily had made it back to their childhood home that night.

Ginny Potter was currently in the kitchen humming tunelessly as she banged pots and pans on the stovetop. Wednesdays were her normal days off from her job as head coach of the Holyhead Harpies, so she had been cooking when James and Lily had arrived not long before collapsing onto their respective sides of the couch.

At the sound of the flue activating James looked up from his warm bubble just in time to see his dad stumble through green flames. Still clad in his velvet Auror robes James noted that his dad seemed a bit disheveled. His dark unruly hair was more of a mess than usual like he had been running his hands through it for the past hour, and unless his eyes deceived him there was more gray shot through his beard than the last time James had seen him.

Harry sighed in relief when the green flames calmed down back to their soft yellow warmth, he paused for a moment warming his hands seemingly lost in thought. James watched his dad pull off the heavy velvet cloak and send it sailing upstairs with a quick flick of his wand. Harry was so distracted he was completely oblivious to the fact that two of his kids were sitting quietly behind him. That is until Lily let out a giant sneeze making Harry jump, his hand twitched towards the wand holstered at his thigh as he turned only to relax back to his side once he saw who it was.

“Sorry, flue powder, always makes my allergies act up,” she said mildly.

“Jeeze! You scared the crap out of me! Out of the three of you, you two are not the ones I expect to be quiet, make a noise every once and awhile, God damn!” Harry said in exasperation placing a hand on his racing heart. Finally calming down Harry sat on the arm of the couch next to Lily, “Why are you guys so quiet anyway? It’s weird.”

Lily looked up from her book for a moment before responding, “I, unlike this overexcited puppy,” she jabbed her socked foot in James’s face again for emphasis “have the capacity to be calm at any given time.”

“I’m sleeeepyyy,” James moaned, pulling a knit blanket over his head.

Harry scoffed at James’s whine, “Speaking of quiet, where’s Al? Not here yet?”

James’s muffled voice came from under the blanket, “That traitor ditched us because Scorp is off from St Mungo’s and he would rather spend the evening shagging his boyfriend rather than enjoying some wholesome family fun with us. That’s what he said right Lil’s?”

“Oh, yeah you got it verbatim, those were his exact words.”

Rolling his eyes Harry leaned over and kissed the top of Lily’s head before standing, “Mum in the kitchen?” he asked only to receive two mild affirmative answers as he headed out of the living room.

“Why are you so tired tonight you weirdo? Normally, you would be forcing us to play exploding snap until dinner, but now you’re just a quivering mass of pathetic over there.”

“Muf mnr smrm” James’s voice came, now completely muffled as he had pulled a pillow under his blankets and on top of his head.

“What?”

“Vmdf kjr fjbvd”

“Oh, for fucks sake!” she groaned, stretching her leg out and lightly kicking her brother in the head knocking the pillow and blanket to the floor.

Sighing dramatically James repeated his statement again, “I said I’m not pathetic you're pathetic.”

“Ooo, what a snappy comeback, totally worth the wait,” She said sarcastically.

“Ugg, I’m just super tired from training,” James said, finally answering her question, “I think my coach is officially trying to kill us. I don’t think I have been this sore since last season’s finals.”

“I don’t know why you guys are training so hard, I mean considering Mums team is going to whoop your arse anyway.”

“Yo! A little support here would be nice!” James cried in outrage that his sister had sided with their Mum rather than himself.

“Meh, I don’t want to inflate your ego. Not that you are short of adoring fans who will do you the honor.”

“Aw come on Lil’s you know that your support is worth what like five of theirs.”

“Only five!? James you have thousands of fans and I am only worth five! I’m your own flesh and blood for fucks sake!”

“Well I mean it is only you, Al and Dad are probably about fifty each but you, your kinda meh.” James laughed at the indignant look of outrage in his sisters’ face then promptly threw one of his pillows at her head.

“Rude!”

From the kitchen they could hear their Mum shout to them, “Offspring! Dinners ready!”

The two got up to head into the kitchen, as they walked James wrapped a strong arm around his sister catching Lily in a headlock.

“Oh, come on,” he said at her now sulking expression “you know I’m kidding.”

Rolling her eyes she replied exasperatedly, “Yeah I know, now get off me you oaf.” She punctuated this with an elbow to the side. The two were still locked in a bit of a wrestling match as they stumbled into the kitchen.

The Potters sans Albus were sitting at their dining table bickering good naturedly, wrapping up the end of their meal together, when a huge gray owl soared in through the open kitchen window and deposited himself on James’s lap. A small smile played at his lips when he noticed the familiar elegant script on the envelope, he gently removed the letter from the bird’s leg who let out a low ‘hoo’ then took off out the window once more.

“Ooo, who’s that from?” Lily asked in a faux scandalized voice, “another admirer?”

“Shut up,” he groaned at her teasing, “it’s from Teddy.”

“Oh,” she said, seeming genuinely interested now, “well go on then, what’s it say? Haven’t heard from him in ages.”

James rolled his eyes at his sister then looked down to read the front of the envelope and scoffed a bit in amusement at the words.

Jamie,

Open With Care

‘Open With Care’ had been his and James’s secret way of letting the other know that their letter was to be opened in private as it contained something sensitive or less than appropriate to read in front of other people.

“Lils, if you want to know what he has to say so badly, write him yourself you twat.” He said gently tucking the envelope into his pocket.

“Rude!” she cried.

“Well,” he said, taking a last sip of wine before getting up from the table, “I think it’s about time I head home. I have an early practice tomorrow.” Harry and Ginny looked up from the hushed conversation they had been having at the other end of the table.

“Hey Jay, wait up” Harry called out, “Before you go I wanted to talk to you all about something.” His dad's eyes darted from James over to where Lily and Ginny were still sitting at the table, his face was grim and pale. James vaguely recalled his mum mentioning his dad had been working extra hours lately on a nasty case and it looked like it was taking its toll on him.

“Alright, what’s up?” James replied sliding back down into his chair.

There was a pause as Harry took a deep breath before speaking, “Jay, I know this will sound a bit weird but I need you to start being a bit more cautious when your alone.” James blinked a bit taken aback by his dad's request but the serious tone with which he spoke made it clear he wasn’t joking. “Strictly speaking I’m not supposed to talk about this but screw it. Over the past couple months the Aurors have been looking into a sting of some pretty grizzly murders. We had another one today, and it's officially been classified as a serial killer.” Not knowing what to say James remained silent hoping his dad would continue speaking. “I don’t really want to go into details but we do know that they are targeting people who seem to have higher than average magical abilities. Now the Auror department has been keeping it under wraps to avoid panic for the moment but it won’t be long before the Profit gets ahold of it. One of the jackasses in the department as dubbed them the Wizarding Reaper.”

There was a beat of silence while Harrys words settled over the table James shot a look over to his sister who shrugged in response before turning back to their dad.

“Uh Ok, I’ll make sure to double my warding and keep an eye out for anything off,” James said, his demeanor serious.

“Thanks kid,” his dad sighed, sagging a bit in relief for a moment before he got up and wrapped James in a hug that quickly turned into a light headlock. Harry rubbed his knuckles into James’s already messy auburn hair, “Now just try not to kill yourself on the pitch and everything will be fine,” his tone had completely changed from that serious one back to his usual joking demeanor.

“Yeah, yeah alright” James said, breaking out from under his dad's arm, “I’ll see you two on Saturday,” he said to his dad and Lily. “And you,” he turned to his mum, “I’ll see you on the pitch,” his voice lowered a bit in a faux challenging tone.

Ginny, never one to be outdone, turned on her best taunting voice, “That you will baby boy, don’t forget to bring some tissues for when you're crying in the locker room after the Harpies demolish you.” His mum’s words would have been cruel but she said them in that same faux challenging tone James had used and had a teasing smile on her face. It was a little tradition of theirs before matches their teams played together, they would go back and forth with smack talk until their taunting insults turned into statements of love.

“Oh, you’re going to be the one crying, sobbing into dads’ shoulder when we put you out of the running for the world cup.”

“We are going to whip your ass, same as I did when you were a child stealing cookies from the kitchen.”

“I still steal cookies, but that’s cause you’re amazing at baking,” James said still in a taunting voice despite the complement.

“Thank you, I left a plate of them on the counter for you.”

“Thanks, love you mum.”

“You’re welcome and I love you too,” the two kept up the charade of acting the bitter rivals their teams were. James slowly crept over to the counter grabbing the plate of home baked cookies she had left all the while meeting her exaggerated glare with his own, an utterly ridiculous attempt at looking intimidating. As he backed out of the kitchen, he paused in the doorway taking two finger pointing to his eyes then pointing to his mum in the ‘I’m watching you’ gesture, he then relaxed his posture and waved them all good night before disapparating away to land in his own entryway.

James sighed in relief at finally being home after an extremely long day. His small apartment was sparse with only the essentials to live comfortably only decorated by the occasional bits of Puddlemere United paraphernalia he had picked over the years. With a couple swift wand strokes James reinforced the warding on his front door, then dropped his gym bag full of dirty practice clothes off his shoulder to the floor. Wandering into his small kitchen James slid his plate of cookies onto the counter; he would save them until after the match this weekend. Snagging a water from the fridge he made his way into the living room to flop down onto his old couch.

James pulled Teddy’s letter from his pocket, once again smiling at the familiar writing on the front, he opened the envelope and read its contents, a warm fond feeling spreading through him with every word.

Jamie,

Guess what! One of our dragons is pregnant! Or sort of, she technically incubating her eggs, but still! I am so excited! Charlie has been trying to find her a mate for ages, turns out she took a liking to that dragon I told you about, the one I went to fetch from the U.S a while back. I am so curious to see what the babies will look like, it’s an interesting cross. Anyway, I digress. It’s just so exciting I had to tell you.

So, how’s training going? Your coach still acting like a drill Sergeant? You excited for the match this weekend; I know you’ll do fantastic. I know I’m supposed to support both of you equally but honestly, I hope you beat the Harpies. You’ve been working your arse off, you deserve it. Just don’t let your mum know I said that.

On a side note I got the ‘present’ you sent me, and god damn Jamie are you trying to kill me? God you are so gorgeous I don’t even have words; I will let you know that they have officially been added to my personal spank bank so thank you.

Good luck on Saturday. I know you’ll crush it, I wish I could be there but you know how the ministry is about travel on and off the reserve. I’ll be watching on the live stream though and rooting for you.

-T

P.S. The picture of you polishing your broom was my favorite, that little wink at the end makes my blood go south just thinking about it.

James groaned at the mental image that last comment had invoked. In his last letter to Teddy, James had included a couple risqué pictures that had been taken for the Puddlemere United’s annual charity calendar. The whole team had them done and after his session with the photographer he had been sent several of the shots with instructions to choose which one he would prefer to have in the final product. James had thought he looked silly in most of them so he sent them to Teddy for a second opinion, including the one of himself in only a jockstrap in the team’s colors polishing his broom, as his hands stroked back and forth on the wood suggestively. In the picture his eyes would close as he tipped his head back, mouth open slightly, slowly he turned to the camera with a sultry look then winked as the image looped back to the beginning.

James moaned quietly turned on by the thought of Teddy getting hard and wanking to his picture, the concept was still a bit weird for him to wrap his mind around. He and Teddy had been friends for ages they had practically grown up together.

Teddy had always been James’s person, the one he could confide in or complain to about his siblings or even just hang out with and enjoy each other’s company. Through James’s last couple of years at Hogwarts Teddy had been working to finish his Auror training but just before he was due to be inducted as an official Auror Teddy decided that ultimately it just wasn’t the job for him. The constant strain of being surrounded by dark wizards, surrounded by murderers and rapists, it had worn on his mental state.

Eventually Teddy settled down in a position working at the Nature Reserve James’s uncle Charlie ran, and he absolutely loved it. That had been in the last year before James graduated, after Teddy left for Romania, they began writing to each other and they were just as they had always been, friends.

This last Christmas though Teddy had come home. He had only been back a handful of times since leaving and it had been years since James had seen his best friend face to face. That Christmas Eve though James had opened his parent’s front door and was greeted to the sight of Teddy, his turquoise hair lightly dusted in snow and smiling brighter than the sun. In a split-second James’s entire demeanor changed though normally energetic he seemed to almost start vibrating with excitement.

Teddy had the good sense to drop his duffle bag quickly as James nearly tackled him in a bearhug. The two men stumbled backwards across the Potters front deck from the momentum until they fell backwards into a snowbank. Teddy hugged back just as enthusiastically, causing them to roll in the snow until he was straddling James' hips. Both of them were laughing heartily ecstatic to finally see each other again Teddy stood up and pulled James up from the snow with enough force to lift him off his feet and spin around. James locked his arms around Teddy’s strong form not wanting to let go as they stood now completely soaked and cold from the snow.

Still in Teddys strong hold James breathing in deeply, intoxicated by the crisp smell of fresh cut pine, campfire smoke, and strong coffee that seemed to cling his skin. Suddenly the porch light flicked on making the men look up, Harry was standing in the open doorway having come to investigate to cold breeze leaking into the house as James hadn’t bothered to close the door when he tackled his best friend. The two began laughing again at the silliness of rolling around in the snow in subzero temperatures then headed back towards the house where Harry was still watching with an amused look on his face.

After the onslaught of warmth and greetings from the rest of the Potters it was like Teddy had never left at all. He effortlessly fit back into their family easily slipping into each conversation on quidditch with James and his mum, Albus and Scorpius’s deep discussions about wizarding folklore and how bits of it could fit into their D&D campaign, he talked Ministry politics with Harry and even seemed to take an interest in Lily’s newfound love of all things Muggle as she had decided to seek further education at a Muggle university. Throughout the night James could feel Teddy's eyes frequently coming to land on him, he would look up to find Teddy staring a small grin playing on his lips as he held the eye contact before turning back to his conversation leaving James feeling warm from his gaze.

Back when Teddy had left neither he nor James had anything other than friendship in mind, each was preoccupied with their own struggles. Teddy trying to make it work with the Aurors and James still in school then starting his own career in the Quidditch world after graduation. That Christmas eve though felt different somehow, their eyes seemed to always find each other, leaving behind a charged feeling in their stomachs. It was odd after being friends for forever neither was sure what to do with this new energy that seemed to be pulling them together.

Their evening was filled with friendly familiar chatter until everyone was exhausted and ready to head home into bed. Teddy was chatting with Harry and disclosed that he hadn’t really thought too much about where he would be staying while he was in England. At that exact moment James had been meandering by the couch, not eavesdropping on their conversation at all, when he plopped down and slung his arm around Teddys neck insisting he stay at his flat.

They left the holiday festivities soon after that, both collapsing into a heap on the old beaten up couch in James' sparse living room. For the first time in years they had the freedom to tell each other everything that never translated well into letters. The night wore late as they spun tales of their lives, talking animatedly about quidditch and dragons sharing the last years of their lives with one another.

Teddy had been telling a captivating tale about one of his coworkers who had gotten a bit too comfortable around one of the dragons and ended up getting his arm torn off, however, James wasn’t listening. Teddy had pushed up his shirtsleeve revealing intricate tattoos that swirled and moved with the motion of his arm and James was utterly distracted. His eyes traced the magically moving ink from where it began at the wrist up his forearm until it disappeared under the sleeve of his shirt.

Eventually Teddy stopped talking, realizing that James was no longer paying attention to his words, the silence prompted James to let his gaze wander slowly back up to Teddys face, bits of glinting metal caught in the dim light as he finally met his burning eyes. James watched in awe as Teddy’s eyes darkened from their natural hazel color to a deep midnight blue with lust. He barely had a moment to gasp at the intense look before Teddy’s mouth was on his, body pressing him back into the worn couch cushions. They moved together gasping, moaning, James whimpered at the feeling of skin on skin. Mouths sliding together, hands exploring, both trying to get as close to the other as possible. The next morning, they woke in bed Teddy had wrapped himself around James’s body every inch pressed together both filled with warmth and contentment.

Even now laying alone in his flat, if he closed his eyes James could almost still feel the tingling trails of Teddys fingers caressing his body as they talked that morning. The two ultimately deciding against starting anything more between them, after all Teddy would leave in a couple days back to Romania and James would once again throw himself into Quidditch training, there was no point. So, from that point they went back to normal, aside from the occasional salacious fantasy they were simply friends.

James had gotten caught up in the memory of that night when he looked up at the time it was nearly one in the morning and he had to get up early for practice. With another dramatic groan he pushed up from the couch and headed to bed.

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[sir-silly]

TWDG S4 First Playthrough

E1 - Ohh how I’ve missed these characters. S4 isn’t flawless, but I love it so freaking much. The collectables are one of my favorite parts, tbh. I’m such a simp for Louis and that’s never gonna change, ngl. He’s so cute and caring and ugh. I need me one of those. Clem is so damn lucky.

Unsurprisingly, I’m the worst at controlling this season in particular. I’m not used to the mouse sensitivity being so high with the camera when you’re walking around but I can’t change it because then it’ll be different when I’m picking choices and stuff. I freaking suck at all of the kill walker scenes, I seriously died like 5 times clearing them out to help the hunting party. I’m concerned about when I have to help James at his camp lol.

The confrontation with Marlon at the end is so damn good. I just always find it so perfect and well done. Also, Louis helping AJ up when he gets pushed down is so fucking sweet. I love him so much. Appealing to him really hit hard and seeing that “Your relationship with Louis has changed” is just oof. I know what CJ has been talking about all this time now lol.

E2 - All of the cuts when Clem and AJ are talking at the beginning are freaking gorgeous. Like, with them standing in the same exact position with the background flashing are just MMMMM. That was really, really well done.

Fuck Lilly. Fuck her trying to help Clementine stand up. She makes me so damn angry. And Abel twisting AJ’s arm and Clem begging for him to stop just breaks my heart. It makes me wonder how much of these interactions Violet and Louis saw, because they would have known to turn around the second they heart that first gunshot. Like, while they were sneaking up, what all did they hear? I told Vi to shoot Lilly because, once again, fuck her.

I’m still so damn bad at the walker killing scenes. It’s honestly sad how terrible I am at them, like, I don’t know why I struggle so much. I think a part of it is that in previous seasons, it would only be like 2 or 3 walkers, meanwhile in S4, it’s like 5 or 6. It’s also probably the fact that we have to control both the camera and Clem’s movements. I just can’t do both.

James is cute. I love him. He’s a sweet boi. Louis carrying AJ in is cute. I love him. He’s a sweet boi. When they get upstairs and AJ calls for Clem, he just sounds so scared and it hurts me. He’s still just a little kid and I couldn’t imagine my cousins that are his age going through these kinds of things.

The banter between Clem, Ruby and Mitch at the greenhouse is so cute and wholesome. Like, Ruby saying that condensation is a big word for Mitch and him daring Clementine to drink whatever is in the vials with her saying “not in a million years.” It’s just so sweet and so similar to modern jokes between friends, it just makes me so happy.

Also, Mitch is one strong boi. Like, Clem is strong, don’t get me wrong. She fuckin chops down trees and pushes adults off of balconies, but she couldn’t get that damn propane tank to budge, meanwhile Mitch comes over and picks it up with one hand. It reminds me of Peeta in The Hunger Games with how he could throw bags of flour over his shoulders super easily.

Another also, the way Mitch says propane annoys me lol. He puts the emphasis on the O instead of the A, so it’s prOpane instead of propAne. It’s just always bothered me and I had to complain about it lmao. Ruby is cute. I love her. She’s a sweet gorl.

AJ asking to sleep in Clem’s bed, her saying she’s still little, and him saying he slept better with her are just so damn cute. I freaking love their relationship so damn much. They’re just so sweet together and I can’t help but gush over them.

Louis talking about Marlon while shooting arrows is just a great scene to me, no matter how short it is. I don’t understand how people can still hate him so much when he explains how close they were and how guilty he feels, not just about kicking Clem and AJ out, but his role in Marlon’s death.

In the previous seasons, I think players became really desensitized to a character losing someone. 1 was honestly pretty good with Kenny’s loss of Duck and Katjaa with his anger and hyperfixations, 2 was a mess with Luke losing literally everyone he knows and being like “meh”, and 3 was also really bad with how Mari, Gabe and David can all die and three days later, Kate’ll still be like “let’s start a family uwu.” I think because of all this, people were really hard on Louis when he reacted like a normal human being over Marlon, which really sucks.

During the card game, when Louis reassures AJ about not being there for the old world and he and Clem kinda nod at her, is so ffffucking cute. I’ll never get over that. They shared a similar look their first night when he gave AJ the rest of his soup even though he was clearly super hungry. I cherish these looks between them and for once, it almost seems unbalanced with Violet lol. Like, I don’t feel like you get those looks with Violet no matter what you choose like you do with Louis those first two episodes. And Louis teasing Aasim about Ruby is really adorable.

And of course, helping him tune the piano is just UGH. He’s so damn cute and I can’t get over it. The scene has some of my favorite interactions between him and Clem. One, where he’s like “How do you feel about our imminent deaths?” and she doesn’t say anything and he says, “You know I’m here for you.” and it’s so CUTE. Two, he has her blow on the strings, she says “I can’t believe I fell for that.” while laughing and he goes, “It’s good to see you like this.” Like, how damn sweet is this boy? He sees that she puts on just as much of a cold exterior as he does with a humorous one, realizing that they both let their guards down around each other. Three, Clem calling Louis a weirdo and him saying that she likes that so in reality, they’re both weird.

Another thing I’ll never get over is Mitch’s death. It makes me hella salty and just grrrr. LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY!!!!

E3 - Willy crying over Mitch’s body is oof. Louis holding Clem’s hand is oof. I wish there was a third option during Abel’s interrogation where you could tell AJ that you don’t want him to watch rather than saying he doesn’t have to.

Again, unsurprisingly, I sucked at James’ camp with the walkers. I had to kill some of them because I literally couldn’t stay alive, so that made me angry. I also missed some of the collectables at James’ barn which also made me mad. AJ and Clem’s interactions with the salt lick are super cute. Talking to James about walkers is much more of an oof when you actually let Lee turn.

So, here’s my thing about the scene in the barn with the walkers and the chimes. No, I don’t think there’s anything more inside of walkers and I agree completely with the dialogue choice that it sounds like hell if that’s true. So James is saying they’re at peace when you go in and touch the times, but that isn’t accurate. They walk up to the chimes because it’s noise. You can’t hear them growling and moaning because the audio switches to music to try and make it more meaningful. James then proceeds to say that when walkers are alone, they’re innocent and harmless which is so inaccurate it hurts. What about Sandra in Clem’s house almost killing Lee? What about the walker that bit Duck? What about the one that bit Lee? Or the one in the shed while Clem stitched her arm? The one that dragged Luke to the bottom of the lake? It’s bullshit.

Louis’ date with Clem makes me hella salty only because he doesn’t get to give her anything like Vi gives her a pin. That’s also bullshit. He’s fucking cute though with being unable to light the matches and saying, “Have you met you?” and shit. Ngl, the first time he said he saw some magazines in the headmaster’s office, I was like LOUIS NO, but they were just about dating so it’s ok lmao. AJ and Clem with the ball and the “I love you” are so fucking adorable.

The hootenanny is cute. Ruby is cute. Louis saying “a woman after my heart” is cute. Him saying leprechauns are too hard to explain to AJ is cute. It’s all cute. Clem tells Ruby that purple was her dad’s favorite color, but it also was her favorite color in S1. If you stand around her and Katjaa for long enough, she’ll tell her that it’s her favorite. So, it’s apparently changed, and it makes me wonder what it is now.

I don’t believe Willy’s reason for getting sent to Ericson. I think that the real reason he was sent was really upsetting, so he never told anyone why he was actually sent there. So, when he learned about masturbation, he thought it was funny and used that excuse instead to make it funny.

I know that the shit with Louis’ parents really hurt him, but I always laugh so hard over the meme that’s like, “violet: my grandma killed herself in front of me 😔. louis: my parents got me the wrong gucci flipflops 😭😭😭.” It’s really tempting to say the dialogue option “worst party ever” but I never do lol.

The dream sequence with Lee always gets to me. Specifically, when we hear “Hey, sweetpea” and Clem looks up in shock, when she runs to hug him, when he’s like “Just look at you,” and when he leaves saying, “It’s time to go. There’s people that need you.” And goddammit, wHERE IS MY OPTION TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM??!?!?!!! I DON’T JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I MISS HIM!!!!!! I WANT IT ALL!!!!

I’m not even going to get into all of my problems with Violet’s scene in the cell because it makes me too salty and mad. There were some issues with Louis’, too, but not nearly as many. Just grrrrr.

I suck at the fighting sequences as well lol. Like, I got Clem punched so many times lmao. Also, where is my option to be like, “Hey AJ give me the gun” so Clem kills Lilly. Because I want her dead and I want James alive, but I don’t want him to be the one pulling that trigger again. Angery. Where are my choices, choice based game?

E4 - AJ’s talking for the previously on TWD gives me chills when he’s like, “But I remember all the rules. And the first one...is never go alone.” So good. If you can give me chills with just audio and screencaps, you did a good job. Y’all, everyone’s gotta be so damn sore after that explosion. Like, they running around a limber and shit but nah, everything’s going to hurt. And Clem’s climbing all over all this metal with fire literally right next to it, that shit would be so damn hot you’d burn your hands.

Fuck Lilly and her trying to make you feel bad as she’s getting away on the raft. Fuck the fact that you can’t shoot her afterwards. I make the choice three damn times to shoot her, and you still don’t let me have my choice. Bullshit. I hope she eats shit and dies.

Louis and Clem hugging on land is so cute. Violet getting blinded is dumb. It’s like they had to even the levels since Louis got his tongue cut out, which is just stupid. If they wanted to have them both hurt, they should have just set that they pulled out her eye or something instead of her getting blinded after the fact. I find it really dumb. I can’t even tell you how many times I died on the damn beach trying to get through the walkers. It shouldn’t be this hard to control your game.

As much as I hate James’ character flip in the cave, I do love that scene and I prefer it over the one without him. AJ really does have a lot of problems and if I didn’t know that not trusting him would kill Louis, I would have picked that. But I love Louis too damn much for that. He’s still so young and none of these are choices that he should have to make. And the fact that he chose to shoot Tenn in the neck adds to that. He doesn’t know to aim for a non-kill shot to stop someone like Clementine does, so his first real friend ended up dead. And his perspective on things after the game is still messed up, which you can tell by the “What Clem taught me” segment at the end.

The reunion with Louis is adorable. Him saying “longest damn minute of my life” is adorable. Him talking about his skylight and the house they’re going to build is adorable. I love all of it. I always have a hard time with the final touch, because I love that he wants a new piano, the nostalgia of a treehouse, and the dialogue “Thanks dad” for the skylight lol. Tenn’s face when Louis tells him he can help with painting is so fucking cute.

Minnie coming up to the bridge is so well done. It’s so ominous (I think the French version is the creepiest) and the look Louis and Clem share is just like “wtf, do you hear that too?” I died a million times during their fight scene as well because I can’t play this game for shit. I don’t know why, but I find Louis jumping the gap really attractive lol. Like, our boi woulda killed it in long jump lmao.

Y’all got an axe. You shoulda broke the damn lock off that gate. Smh.

As always, the whole process of Clem getting bit and her talking with AJ in the barn is heartbreaking. It gets to me every damn time, just like her and Lee’s does. It’s honestly hard for me to decide which one is sadder because while Clementine raised AJ his whole life, Lee became her family so quick and was cut so short. I prefer the choice of killing Clem just because you get more dialogue between her and AJ before he cuts her leg off, but I didn’t have it in me to tell him that, so I told him to leave her.

I have mixed feelings about the placement of the flashback to McCarroll Ranch. Part of me thinks it belongs in a different episode, but another likes it where it is. It just doesn’t seem to fit well where it was placed.

Much like 9 year old Clem being able to drag an unconscious Lee into the jewelry store, it would be impossible for 5 year old AJ to get her thicc ass into that wheelbarrow and push her to the school. I enjoy the headcanon that James arrived not too long after the amputation and helped get her back, but decided to stay in the woods because he didn’t want anyone to see him.

I missed another collectable in the damn shed which I’m salty as hell about. I love the reuse of Take Us Back, as many of us do. I just had to bring it up because it makes me emotional. Clem pushing AJ on the swing is adorable. The dinner scene is adorable. Violet’s voice is adorable. Louis kissing Clem on the cheek is adorable. It’s all adorable.

When Clem asks if she did a good job, I will always and forever pick the “Is she crazy?!” option because everything she did was incredible. She never had to take care of AJ. She wasn’t stuck with him. She could have left him behind so many times, but she never did. And like Javier said, not everyone is like her, not everyone wants to take care of a baby. And she fought like hell for him day after day, no matter what.

And you can see, especially in the cave scene when AJ brings up the fact that she’s still just a kid too, that she still has so much bottled up inside. She grew up so damn fast and became a goddamn powerhouse. Anyone that got in the way of her and AJ was going to end up dead. She never knew what it meant to be a parent before the world ended. She didn’t get to the age where you understand the choices parents make when raising their kids. And yet, she still raised a child all while raising herself in the middle of an apocalypse.

Clementine, you did a better job than anyone else ever could have.

[spacetimewraithwrites-archive]

Word Prompt #13

Word: Jelly (suggested by @fictional-ghost!) WIP: Partners III CW: Nothing at all. Well...unless someone needs me to tag food or condiments. Word Count: 1,232 Additional Notes: takes place in 1968 or 1969. PIII is my favorite of the main trilogy. Uh...I just love the person Reagan has become. his character arc up to the third installment is just *chef kiss* and this should shed a bit of light on why PIII Reagan is superior to PI and PII Reagan lol

***

Brady turned the mouth of the glass jar toward his face and attempted to scrape the remnants of its contents onto his knife. “Hey, Maura, did you happen to make some more jelly?”

Maura craned her neck from the kitchen island to search as best she could over the top of the newspaper her husband had been lost inside at the table, sweeping her newly-shortened hair out of her eyes in order to see better. “Erm...I did. Your sister’s got it.”

Across the table Charlotte froze in the midst of slathering the last of the sweet strawberry spread onto her toast and locked eyes with Brady. “We have jam.”

“That’s great.” Brady dropped his hands onto his lap and his shoulders slumped with drama unmatched by his Academy Award-nominated father sitting beside him. “I truly appreciate that, but if I wanted jam I would’ve asked for jam.”

“What’s wrong with jam?”

“What isn’t wrong with jam? Want a list?”

“Actually, yeah, if you’re gonna be weird about this.”

Brady started ticking off on his fingers. “The consistency is terrible. There is far too much fruit pulp in jam as opposed to jelly. The flavor is too concentrated and sometimes isn’t even sweet enough. Need I go on?”

Reagan, previously thought to have been unaffected by the conversation, lowered the top half of the newspaper and turned wary eyes onto his son from over the rim of his reading glasses.

“I’m sure you can go without jelly for one morning,” Charlotte retorted. “We’ve got butter, and Maura’s marmalade, and there are preserves in the cupboard from my dorm mother. There’s honey and cinnamon and need I go on?”

“I don’t mind if you want to use my marmalade, darling,” Maura piped up, holding up the orange jar.

Brady shook his head. “Thanks, Maura, but it’s on principle now. I had my heart set on jelly and I can’t have jelly.”

Charlotte frowned. “Who raised you? Not him,” she said, pointing to Reagan, who was fully invested by now, “because he did not raise his kids to be spoiled brats crying over a condiment.”

“Strictly speaking, muirnín,” Reagan said to her, removing his glasses and folding the paper into a square on the table top, “I didn’t raise him at all. Three years ago he rose from the shores of Long Beach fully formed. His memories were implanted by the government.”

Brady snickered. “Explains a lot, doesn’t it?”

“The way you’re caterwauling about jelly, it sure as shit does. Eat the damn marmalade.” Reagan got up from the table and joined Maura, depositing his empty plate into the sink and planting a firm kiss on her cheek. “Don’t break your back for the boy; I’ll run to the store with Ben to shut him up.”

“Take a pen,” Maura muttered around a mouthful of mushroom from her plate of full breakfast. She swallowed before speaking further. “You remember what happened last time you were mobbed and didn’t have a pen.”

“Yep. I keep one in the car just in case.” Reagan snatched a pudding from the plate, earning a swat on the arm. “Ah-ah, call this payback for the Nine Years’ War.”

Maura threw a bewildered expression at his back as he exited the kitchen. “What—black pudding?”

Later, Reagan stopped the Capri in front of Ben’s place, paused when Ben propped the door open and made direct fatigued eye contact with him down the driveway. Before Reagan could call out to ask if things were okay, Noah exploded from the house via the open door, caught in a chase for his life by two of his five sisters. They cleared the lawn in seconds, tearing around the corner and disappearing behind the house, and Noah’s screams, harmonizing with Regina and Sarah hurling aggravated insults at him, could be heard from every angle of the neighborhood.

Ben let out a visible sigh and dragged himself to the car.

“What’d he do now,” Reagan asked.

“I don’t even know.” Ben climbed inside without opening the door. “Probably took the heads off their dolls again. What the hell is this about jelly?”

“Brady’s going through a phase,” Reagan said, pulling onto the road. “I’d swear on your mother’s twenty-year-old black and white television set that he’s picking up anxieties from you.”

“Leave my mother out of this, asshole.”

“Mm-hm, and have you called her at all this week?”

Ben scowled. “Have you called yours?”

“We write each other regularly. Last time I was in Ireland, I even visited her in person.”

“Big man,” Ben said facetiously. “I try to see Ma when I’m home.”

Reagan patted Ben’s knee to comfort him as his mother was a sensitive topic given her recent health scares. “We’re buying ten jars of strawberry jelly today, and I’ll let you pick out a candy bar if you’re a good boy.”

Ben’s returned the shitty grin Reagan gave him. “Even one with peanuts?”

“Yes,” Reagan laughed, knowing full well that it was rare for Ben to be able to enjoy peanuts due to Noah being highly allergic. “As long as you don’t breathe on your son at any point today, sure, go crazy.”

They let the wind carry their thoughts out of the convertible for a few minutes, and Ben observed other LA residents on the street, going about their daily lives. “Talkin’ about peanuts and going on an errand to get jelly is making me very nostalgic.”

“The first snack we ever ate together.”

“Right...you’re right! That was the first one! Just about a minute after I asked you if you lived on the moon ‘cause I couldn’t figure out your accent.” Ben also laughed, throwing his head back and clutching his stomach. “I was so excited about that sandwich.”

Reagan glanced over at Ben and noted the mirth in his face upon revisiting that time in their lives. “Well, you were five.”

“That’s no excuse; five-year-old Ben was a weirdo.”

“And nine-year-old Reagan was absolutely in love with him,” Reagan reminded him. “I wouldn’t let Benjy Mertz out of my sight for a second.”

“And how’s that any different from now, man?”

Reagan’s face split into a sly, knowing smile, yet he refused to comment further.

Once in the store, they somehow managed to grab ten jars of cheap strawberry jelly without being recognized except for the cashier who kept looking from them to the jars in pure confusion. 

Ben joined Reagan at Reagan’s house, an observant party to the bestowing of jelly jars onto Brady’s lap as the boy sat on the sofa in the living room.

“What the hell, Dad,” Brady groaned. “This is overkill.”

“Oh?” Reagan gestured to Ben. “You want I should set the professional dad on you?”

Ben hunkered down with his hands on his knees and looked Brady in the eye. “I cannot eat peanut butter anymore and you are by all rights a grown man so don’t think I won’t deck you for that jelly.”

Brady thinned his eyes. “Am I...supposed to know what that means?”

“It means eat the damn jelly,” Reagan demanded, pulling Ben away from the living room by the back of his collar. “Eat it! Now!”

“Oh my god,” Brady murmured, swiping a hand down his own face. He hesitated, then gathered the jars into his arms with the intent to transport them into the kitchen. “You guys are insane.”

[nagichi-boop]

Welcome back to “I don’t know if I’m traumatised or just holding onto an old grudge”.

Feel free to keep scrolling, I decided to make this a rambley post.

I literally get told different things all the time. One person says it’s probably trauma, then someone else will say I’m holding a grudge...then my mum be like “that was in the past, move on” in a joking way but also ouch-

I know that having a label doesn’t change what happened. But if this isn’t trauma, then why can’t I move on?

So I’m gonna try and briefly explain the reasons for and against thinking it’s trauma.

TW // self harm mentions

Cause 1 - old friend group

For:

• I get extreme anxiety when I see the people who were potential cause (and have been pushed to self harm a few times when I’ve seen them because of how anxious I got).

• I can’t seem to forget about it, even though I don’t consider what happened their fault. It was my fault for being a weirdo.

• I was often on the sidelines of group gatherings. At one point while shopping, I was even told that I’d have to go alone to a shop I wanted to go to because no one wanted to go with me.

• The main incident:

• I told my (then) best friend about my mental issue and how I felt super anxious at group events. She told everyone without me knowing, so I stopped getting invited out for seemingly no reason, which led me to believe they hated me.

• Months later, I met up with a few of them again and tried to introduce a new interest which I thought maybe they’d like. As soon as I mentioned it, they moved the conversation along. It rly hurt. While they were busy, I left without saying anything. I later received a message from my best friend saying she was disappointed in me and I should have tried harder.

• Hearing the phrase “I’m disappointed in you”, even if I know it’s a joke, makes me feel really depressed.

• Talking out loud about this makes me choke up or cry.

• Making friends is now extremely hard because I have convinced myself that talking about my interests or problems will cause people to leave.

Against:

• I don’t think anyone was intentionally malicious towards me, so it wasn’t like they were bullying me.

• Very few sources cite friendship neglect(?) as a cause of trauma.

• Could just be rejection sensitive dysphoria (from undiagnosed adhd) and/or social anxiety.

• Or I’m just holding onto a grudge lol.

• Regarding the shop incident, in their defence, it was a game shop and I was pretty much the only “nerdy” person. All the other shops we went to were like makeup shops or clothes shops. I’m the only one who wasn’t rly into “girly stuff”, so it was my fault for being the oddball.

Cause 2 - parents

For:

• Whenever I bring up mental health related things, they usually try to tell me I’m wrong.

• When I suggested years ago that I might have depression, they told me it was a phase I’d grow out of. It’s been about 5 years since then and I think I’m still depressed. (These talks happened around the same time as the me telling my best friend about my mental health.)

• When I suggested I might have autism, my dad tried to dismiss it all and project his own experiences onto me, telling me it was just social anxiety (even tho it didn’t really fit a lot of things and I suspect he has autism too, but he refuses to be seen about it). My mum seemed to think I wanted to be diagnosed to use as an excuse.

• I don’t trust them much anymore, mostly with my problems.

• They sometimes mock me for things I can’t help (e.g. being jumpy after having sensory overload, being afraid of bugs bc I am sensitive to buzzing noises, being a “picky eater”, etc)

Against:

• They never abused me (physically, verbally or otherwise).

• They don’t withhold basic necessities from me.

***

Idk if anyone will read this lol.