#My dad said the breading for the chicken was too salty

[punkrockgenasiashton]

Picked up The Exquisite Exandria cookbook a couple weeks ago and decided to try my hand at a few: - Coffee Brined Fried Chicken with coffee & bacon gravy with fried potatoes - Beer Braised Breakfast Brawts with apple slaw and fried potatoes - Skaldseat Salmon over Heartmoore Harvest Salad - Marquesean Street Meat and Consolatory Couscous (swapped out pork chops instad of lamb chops becasue LOL HAVE YOU SEEN HOW EXPENSIVE LAMB IS)

[shark-el]

Onion soup:

A firend of mine asked me for my Onion soup recipe. I was just gana send it to her plain simple and boring. But then I thought of a better way to waist my time that I should probably be spending doing work or researching for projects and thing. But I decided this was a lot more fun!

My idea was to be one of those annoying food blogs that tell their whole life story in an absolutely overly exaggerated fashion! One to make fun of blogs that do this, and tow because it's fun and why the hell not?!

So the idea for this started back when I was first starting out cooking and every single blog I found had a 1000 word essay about the origin of sed food. I found it extremely irritating because why do I did to know that this person's great uncle's best friends grandma's dog died in a fire in order to make this recipe?! So I would scroll down all the way to get to the actual recipe but the story just kept on going! Like about how her great great great grandfather's colleague from work had spills tea on his novel, a passion project that he had worked so hard for. I still had no idea how this was relevant at all to the spring rolls I was planning on making? And after an eternity of scrolling fingers tired and eyes full of tears I finally got to the recipe.

You'd think after all that back story and the amount I had learned about the person writing this like the fact that her great grandmother's favorite color was tangerine but specifically tangerine, and not orange because her childhood best friend had lent her a sweater that exact color and the next day she had never returned. That sweater has become a family heirloom that has been passed down ever since. Or the fact that she had avocado toast on Tuesday three years ago on may 18th at exactly 3:26 pm. Needless to say I knew a lot about this person and their family tree. It really helped me get the care and feeling I needed for my spring rolls. So that is why I'm going to be overly pretentious and do the same thing to you so have fun.

I was born at a very young age, in the evening on a hot August day. I don't remember much from this time in my life but my parents told me that I was miserable until I could do things for myself. After that I was a force to be reckoned with, nothing could stop me! There was one time when I was about 6 months old my parents had left me on the table thinking I couldn't get far, keeping an eye on me every once in a while but not paying much attention. The second I was put down I saw something gleaming in the corner of my eye, it was a delicious looking chocolate brownie. Nothing could stop me I was going to get that brownie no matter what! so I slowly started scooching my tiny baby body to the delicious looking dessert moving as fast as my little arms could take me. It had been 10 minutes of struggling from one end of the table to the other. I had finally made it! I was so close my hand was mere centimeters away from the prize. It was gonna be mine all mine! But then suddenly out of nowhere my dad's arms came and picked me up taking me away from my long awaited dessert. needless to say I was furious but I still never got that specific brownie (I've had other brownies don't get me wrong, it's just I never had that one. And at this point I don't think I'd want to since it's several years past it's expansion date).

That was my first experience with real food which might have been a core memory if I actually remembered it. Sadly this happened before i could remember it, but i'd like to think that it was the beginning of my love for food.

Over the years I started cooking it started off as learning how to make eggs and mac and cheese but then over the years I started to make more complex dishes, some worked and some didn't. Now I know that most people would rather be informed about the times that somebody failed rather than the time someone succeeded, they stand out more I guess and if you're actually sitting down to read this then I will reward you with some of my biggest cooking fails.

First off anything that involves baking, for instance there was one time I was going to bake a chocolate cake for a bake sale and well... so what happened was, I learned that I can't follow a recipe for the life of me! You may ask why I'm writing this recipe if I probably won't follow it anyway, but it's more a list of ingredients than a actual recipe. Anyway back to the story so my first mistake was I ended up putting in a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon so normally this would be fine it would have just been a little bit salty, but problem was I had another mistake, I ended up putting in a tablespoon of mint extract instead of a teaspoon of vanilla extract as well, so the resulting cake was less cake tasting and more of the toothpaste variety. ( For some reason my brother loved it. He took about a handfuls. I would not recommend it with a glass of orange juice).

Another baking story, I was trying to make chicken pot pie, and filling itself is cooking. I can do that, throwing things in a pot, easy! It works! But do not, I repeat do not! leave me alone with a pie crust. my dad and I frantically tried to roll out said pie crust and not rip it, we were flailing around confused as to how dough worked. It took us about half an hour to roll out the pie crust so it would rip adds little as possible. After that day we came to a conclusion never to leave us with the job of baking ever again!

The next cooking fail I have is finally about the soup recipe. You see the first time I tried making onion soup it didn't go very well... Let me explain what happened. I was really in the mood for a nice warm onion soup and I figured you just throw some onions in a pot with some white wine and water and let it sit. Problem was we didn't have any wine, and I was too young to go to the grocery store to buy some, so instead I decided to use grape juice. Never but I mean never cook an absurd amount of grape juice, the heated aroma smelt excruciatingly unappetizing and I would not recommend it on anyone. So the resulting soup was watered down hot grape juice and stir-fried onions. needless to say it did not taste good and smelled even worse. I told myself that would be the last time I'd ever make onion soup! Years have past and and I was really in the mood for onion soup again even after that disaster, so I decided to try once again. this time with no grape juice! I looked through multiple recipes some had more ingredients than others and ended up combining a lot of them together to make my own onion soup recipe the one you see before you. And though I was scared that I'd mess it up I decided that I just really wanted some onion soup so I made it and it turned out delicious. Look at that a happy ending isn't that just great?!

I'd be surprised if you actually read through all of this if you did a good job,if you didn't then you're probably not going to read this sentence but I don't blame you it's all good who actually reads these backstories to recipes anyway?

Anyway I think I've mumbled on long enough here is the actual recipe for this soup:

5-6 onions

7-8 cups of chicken/ onion stock ( cold be parve from show mixes)

3 cloves of garlic (probably more)

1/4 cups of soy sauce

1/3 cups of white wine (optional)

4 tablespoons of oil (2-3 at the beginning and then 1-2 in middle of caramelization)

4 tablespoons of flower

1 teaspoon sugar (helps with caramelization)

Salt (to taste)

Pepper ( to taste but approx 1/8-1/4 of a teaspoon)

Instructions:

1) caramelize onions:

On medium heat Cook the onions, stirring often, until they have softened, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Increase the heat to medium high. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil (or butter depending on) and cook, stirring often, until the onions start to brown, about 15 more minutes.

Then sprinkle with sugar (to help with the caramelization) and 1 teaspoon of salt and continue to cook until the onions are well browned, about 10 to 15 more minutes.

Add garlic

2) Add Flour until mixed and quickly ( so it doesn't burn) add Add wine and soy sauce and once mixed well and incorporated

3)Add stock slowly, then add bay leaves and black pepper and salt (if needed, you can always add it later).

Bring to a summer and leve on low heat for 30 mins.

And now you officially scrolled too far, this is the point in a recipe blog where they add a bunch of links to all the recipes made by their friends families and anything else that comes to mind. Most people looking for the recipe would scroll all the way to the end trying to find it in this mess of words and unnecessary backstory told in an excruciatingly painful amount of detail. Then realize they've scrolled too far, sigh and start scrolling up again, this time a little slower.

It normally also has recommendations of foods that would go well with it, in the case of this onion soup I would recommend eating it with some garlic bread or grilled cheese sandwiches, basically all comfort foods that would spark Joy anytime you eat them.

If you're looking for aesthetic you can try making a bread bowl, cover it with cheese and broil it, which would have a whole other recipe linked in somewhere, with more details about how their great uncle's best firends associate made this same recipe for the pince of some country. But as I mentioned beforehand, I for one am not a baker and bread is most definitely a baking job. Not only is bread one of the more complex foods to bake, even if you put every ingredient precisely as the recipe mentions them, it still won't turn out right! Because ether the atmospheric pressure has changed very slightly, or the wind isn't blowing in the correct direction. Bread making is hard and I have a lot of respect for people who can do it correctly.

If you've read through all of this, damn that's dedication thank you and I applaud thee. I hope you enjoyed, and were amused.

[shytiff]

June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins. 

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients. 

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo  

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning. 

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and  summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers. 

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

[twilight-resonance]

Whirl

Well, it turns out that whatever I did last night does not in fact keep my dreams from fragging. Was just as bad last night. So I guess I’ve got to do the normal processing for it to work. Which is not to say that I don’t need to bother with anything else. Actually making myself be a person is also important, but dreams are a place to start. Sigh.

Hurting a lot tonight. Been hurting a lot the last few. ...This is not helped by my fairly throughly trashed sleep-quality the last few nights. I tried a new shampoo and it turns out there was something in it that I’m allergic to (lavender) and I didn’t realize right away; so my allergies have been absolutely terrible the last few nights, and consequently so has my sleep quality. Not sleeping enough doesn’t typically wreck me, but this - whatever this is - really has. I haven’t been able to think straight for a few days now. It’s amazing how much muscle memory tries to compensate for decision-making - and how it results in things like, oh, taking the coffee cone off the cup so that you can pour hot water directly into your cream. *facepalm* My last few days have been a minefield of these things, to say nothing of my ability to focus on anything less concrete. Sigh again. Well, I’ve got different shampoo now and I washed my pillowcase, and I’m hoping between that and writing properly tonight maybe I’ll get a good night’s sleep this time. If we can get up early we’ll make waffles again tomorrow morning, so we’ll hope for that.

It’s hard to describe what, exactly. We had to take the car we’ve been borrowing from Hearthsnail’s dad to get smogged today; and while we were waiting, we went to hang out on the harbor that his dad’s been rebuilding for the last couple years (yes, the entire harbor, from the docks to the pilings to the buildings - the man is formidable). It... I don’t know. It hit a sweet-sore spot. Reminded me of how much I miss being down the coast at my old job. Not the job itself - though I miss that too - but the place. Those salty-sweet early mornings with the frigid sea breeze blowing in, and the wind pulling at all hours, and the sort of... loneliness that comes with it. It’s a loneliness that is itself a sort of balm for loneliness; that takes the bitter and makes it soft and familiar and somehow comforting. I’ve never been one for the beach, nor for the coast itself; but oh, in another life, I could have been a sailor. I understand that siren’s call to leave and up-and-go and lose yourself in the day-by-day rhythm of minding the sails and the ropes and the salt and the tar; in the hard work, and in the nowhere else to be. There’s a way that sort of life makes room for finding some peace in and with yourself, because you’ll go mad if you can’t; because you lose all your other ties in the world, and all there is is what you bring. It’s that sort of peace, I suppose, that I crave; and that sort of hurt brought up and pulled tender today. I would have liked to sit on the end of one of the docks and simply sat and done nothing, and maybe find a moment of that peace; but it wasn’t in the cards. Still, though. Still.

There are other things that are hurting, but to be honest I get the sense that many of them are only hurting because I’m hurting; and that it’s other things at root. Once upon a time I could’ve searched it down, but that’s a skill that still escapes me these days. These nights are practice, for what it’s worth.

Sigh. Let’s talk about the last little while. May’s been busy. Part of why I haven’t written. Part, I just haven’t. It’s been a whirl of appointments, chores, tours, and other meetings. Been looking at wedding venues this month; so far, we’re two for four with four to go. There’s one in particular that looks promising - if I could get them to respond to my contact attempts. But there are other good ones too. Then there’s the health things - I needed my TB clearance updated and that turned into a saga of three separate appointments, and another checkup I need to schedule that is... probably nothing, but something you want to catch as absolutely as early as possible if it is something (and given I've let it go two years now, we’re already a few strikes down on that one). Then all the miscellaneous chores: smogging the car, as I already mentioned, and going through the motions necessary to actually buy a new one of our own. So that’s new - and also a process. Hoping to have it in time for summer. 

Then there’s all the other bits and pieces. Signing up for intro sessions for possibly intern teaching next year. They’re going to need teachers, and I’m tired of not having work - and I can do the double load. Also applied for a position at EdPuzzle that, well, we’ll see - haven’t heard anything back from them either. I’ve just reached a breaking point with... not having proper health insurance, and doctor access, and not being able to replace the things I need when they break or wear out, and not having any kind of independence or safety net if something goes terribly wrong. I would like to be able to help pay for the variety of expensive things coming up - the car, the wedding, a new mattress that you can’t feel the springs through, dental work, etc - and I’m, just, tired. Tired of having these things hanging over my head and feeling immobilized because I can’t, you know, actually do anything about them. ...There’s a position I’ve got my eye on, if I can make the interning thing work. It’s not quite where I wanted, but it’s doable, and at this point that’s good enough for me. If I can get it. We’ll see.

Thing’s’ve been hard. For a long time now. Most of the time I trudge on without thinking about it, but I feel like the cracks have been showing a little more and a little more lately. It’s rough. I’m still miles better than I’ve been, but there’s still miles left to go too - well. You know how it goes.

Let’s see. More mundane things. I think I said that of all the things we planted, only the corn’s growing; but my gods, is it growing. An inch a day on the biggest stalks, which is nothing to sneeze at. Had a few not quite come in right - the seeds are a bit old so I wonder if they just got a bit weird - and had one gnawed down by a mysterious critter. Not sure if it was bird or bug or mammal or mollusk. The corns that I transplanted did okay and are still shooting up, so that makes me happy. We’ve been enjoying spending time in the garden now that we’ve got the space set up for it; it’s a nice space. 

There’s food. Was craving french dip the other night of all things, so I spent some time figuring out how to best make that vegetarian and got the things for it. So that’ll be new, when we do it. Got things to make coffee cake, too - something else I’ve been wanting to try to make - and banana cream pie, which I’ve made once before a long time ago. Hearthsnail’s never had it, and I figure he’ll probably like it, so. We also got lemons for lemonade, and ingredients for sushi now that it’s warmed back up again... So lots of food we haven’t done before, or haven’t done for months. I still keep hoping Hearthsnail will feel up to making bread one of these days. Not that I couldn’t do it, but it was his idea and it’ll make him happy to be the one to do. 

Ugh, which reminds me of wedding catering. I’m both looking forward to that, and not. Spent some time trying to figure out how you put a menu together, and as far as I can tell the only guidance that exists online is for how to get a caterer, not how to work with one - so. Bleh. I dunno. This one goes into a separate ramble about vegetarian food, and how frustrating it is that most peoples’ idea of what vegetarian food is consists of “uh, I dunno - eggplant? mushrooms? squash? tofu? and maybe let’s throw that together with some quinoa or rice or something, and maybe have a salad on the side”. Like. It’s not that hard, you guys. It’s all the same recipes you’d make... without the meat. It’s not that hard to make tikka masala or chicken noodle soup and just add potatoes instead of meat. Or gumbo without the sausage. Or sushi without the fish. It’s just... not that hard. Most of the time the taste of the dish is good enough on its own, and if you really need or want a meaty flavor for something, there’s things you can do about that. Soy sauce helps fill in for beef, curry helps add a bit of a chicken-y flavor (weirdly enough), etc. Some things are harder - like the french dip above is definitely not one that’s intuitive - but seriously. It’s not that hard. I don’t understand the disconnect, and I'm not looking forward to trying to navigate it for catering.

Simple pleasures. What else. Gods, I don’t know. I ordered some more socks the other day because I’m tired of not having socks, even though I can’t really afford it right now. Should be here tomorrow. There ought to be other things besides, and I feel like there ought to be, but I can’t fathom what. On to other things, then, I suppose.

We’ve been watching Stargate SG1. Maybe I already mentioned that, maybe I didn’t. Either way, we’ve been enjoying it, though as with all things it took me a while to get there. We’ve enjoyed most of all, I think - once they get a few seasons in and really hit their groove, the characters just act like I swear honest-to-gods adventurers. Like, there are so many moments we’ve just straight-up been there for before, or watched players do or try to pull, and it just all feels very RPG in a way. I particularly enjoy the part where Daniel just decided at some point that he’s died too many times and just doesn’t give a fuck anymore, and just kind of says and does whatever. Been there, buddy. Been there too. So that’s a thing.

Events have been a thing, but they’re a kind of stressful that I don’t want to touch right now. Plenty have been good. Many have been fine. There are just other background elements that exist too. Another day. Maybe once I’m closer to resolving them.

Heh. Thanks, song. “You’re doin’ me wrong/Dissecting the bird/Tryin’ to find the song//It’s a miracle/That you’re here at all...” (John Craigie)

(True enough. I just wish I knew how to go for the song otherwise though, you know? I feel like all I’ve got is scalpels and I’m supposed to do... what? Sigh. I dunno.)

There’s a game I’ve been playing - did I talk about it at all? - called “Yes, Your Grace”. I was expecting it to be a bit more “Papers Please” and a bit less story-adventure, but I’ve still enjoyed it. Lost my first run of it - won the battle but got strung up by my peasants afterwards, so that didn’t go too well. Trying again with a second run and it’s going better now that I’ve got a feel for it. We’ll see if the end goes any better this time. 

Not sure what else to talk about. Still trying to dump as much of my brain on the page as I can tonight so that the dreams don’t find me. Last night’s was upsetting; more in undertones than overtones, but it still upset me nonetheless. Old hauntings, and all. 

Been working on Fal the last few. Not that that’s unusual itself; more that there are a few things I haven’t made headway on for a long time that all came together in leaps and bounds. Prices for large structures, equipment slots, how to organize the health section, illness symptoms, etc. It’s just been, dunno, nice. I’d like to have another draft of the rulebook out as soon as I can, because it hit me recently how outdated the one everyone else has been working with is and I ought to fix that. Just, want to wrap a few things up first so they’ll be more useful. Past lives, too, I made some headway on. Website needs some working but that’s its own other deal.

I think I’m about out. Not sure I’m empty, as it were, but I’m out. We’ll chance bed and see how it goes tonight. Hoping for sleep to go a bit better this time. Gods, I’m tired.

[fernsandsunflowers]

Hi guys,

I never really make personal posts on here but I wanted to talk about my little buddy somewhere that was both public and private at the same time.

This is Zorro, I was almost 11 when we first met. My parents brought him as a bday surprise for my brother. I didn’t know they were going to get him a dog so I squealed when I saw my mother sneak him into the pantry to hide him away. The moment my brother set off to stay the night at a cousin’s I ran to the pantry and knelt on the floor. He was hiding behind a kitchen chair, peaking at me from behind one of the legs. I called to him and he tilted his head staring at me, a little unsure…I called again and his mouth broke into a giant smile and he bounded towards me, missed the landing and crashed right into my leg. We have been inseparable ever since. That night we gave him milk, the same amount we used to make for a giant German shepherd we dogsat a couple weeks ago, and he drank the ENTIRE bowl. His tummy got so big it dragged on the floor and he couldn’t walk straight. I begged my parents to let him sleep in my room. They reluctantly agreed, and I ended up spending the entire night mopping the floors because he peed EVERYWHERE. My parents brought him for my brother, but he was always mine. He followed me everywhere, even if I was just walking two feet away. He would wait outside the bathroom door for me. when I was in school, he’d come to the gate by 1pm and sit and wait for me to come back home. When I started work, he would wait at the gate by 4pm. When he got older, he’d wait by the doorway of my room or in the tv room his head facing the front door.

He was the number 1 fan of pets, he hated when I came home smelling like other dogs, he loved little kids and would let them torture him to no end - when my cousin was born my aunt stayed with us and that was the one time Zorro didn’t follow me around, he would stay by the door to their room and bark or come call someone the moment the baby started to stir. I also have this seriously hyper kid cousin who used to just throw stuff at him and poke him, and he wouldn’t bat an eye, he’d go and sit by him and let him do his thing - He loved to eat chicken, his favorite fruit was mangoes, and he used to eat anything we gave him as long as he knew we were eating it too. He loved to roll around in grass, and pee on mom’s new plants. When he was younger and did something naughty and mom would yell at him he’d get his revenge by going to her favourite plants, carefully biting off a flower and going and showing it to her. He didn’t give a rats ass about thunder, he’d sleep right through thunderstorms, but he HATED fireworks. We’d have to tie him up and give him some Piriton to help him sleep, but he was never one to be forced into anything. For a small dog he was strong, he’d manage to break out, fight the sleepiness and actually try to catch the firecrackers. You’d think this is impossible, but I come from Sri Lanka, even kids handle fireworks in my country, and a lot of the time we use fireworks that go off on the floor. One of my favourites was this one that would spin like a wheel on the ground, one time he got loose and chased one of them down the street trying to catch it in his mouth. Half the neighbourhood ran after him screaming to try and get him away. I was in hysterics for hours. But he was fine, except for a few burnt whiskers… His sense of smell was never really the same after that - we’d play hide and seek and he’d run right passed me sniffing at the floor. He loved walks, as most dogs do. Sri Lanka also has a lot of strays and my neighbourhood has its own little gang of like 15 dogs. They’d follow us on walks from a distance and I’d always be terrified they’d jump on him. But Zorro completely ignored them and I later figured out that he was actually sniffing out and peeing where the other dogs pee… he’s just that salty. He had long hair that curled at the end and my Cats loved to play with them. They’d slide along the floor and attack him as he walked and he’d stand there and let them have their fun. He never once snapped or growled at them. He hated when I’d start singing, he would tolerate it for about 10 minutes and then would start huffing pointedly. It didn’t stop me from writing him and singing him a lullaby, he didn’t seem to mind that one so much. I used to play the piano when I was younger and he’d make me stop by jumping onto the keys and walking all over them. He once saw a garden snake come up behind me and attacked it. Another time, a bird got fried on the overhead street wiring and my mom kept it on a rock while she went to find her gardening tools so she could dig a grave for it. When she came back the bird was gone and Zorro was covered in dirt. He had buried the bird himself. You’d think this is nothing, dogs often bury bones and things, but this is the first and only time Zorro has ever buried anything. We have a rambutan tree in our home whose branches fall onto our roof, the two of us would climb up to the roof every fruiting season and sit and eat rambutan. He liked the bitter ones the most which worked out great because I liked the sweet. He loved sweets too, cakes and candies and the rare tiny piece of chocolate. We’d have to take care to never keep anything within reach of him… things used to mysteriously disappear anyway. He learned pretty soon that when he was sick he was more likely to get sweets, we used to hide his pills in cakes and gummies, so he would pretend to be ill. He’d limp a little when people were a round and act like he can’t get up. Dad’s favourite story was the time he caught Zorro, who we thought had somehow injured his ankle (he even whined when the vet touched his ankle, she said nothing seemed broken or twisted, it must just be sore because he slept on it wrong so prescribed him something for the pain), walking normally and start limping, on the wrong foot, when he spotted my dad. 

He was beautiful, his fur always shone and his hair was thick and long, he had little eyebrows and even eyelashes. I have never seen a cocker spaniel in Sri Lanka that looked as beautiful and as healthy as he did. You might say I’m biased but every vet we’ve ever been to and every person who’s ever seen him said the same. We had several little proposals for him but they never worked out. We had three girls brought home for him but he HATED them all. The poor things tried so hard to make friends with him but he lashed out at them. Eventually we stopped trying. My brother and I are pretty sure this was because he was gay. During mating season we’d sometimes find him staring longingly at the local dog gang (all male) through the bars of the gate. He loved Tuk Tuk rides because he was just too short to see out the car window. He walked the streets like he owned them and it showed, people would come out of their homes to fawn over him and he’d trot along, head held high. If he was in the way of oncoming traffic, no matter what the vehicle, it was clear that he would not move from it but the vehicle had to move for him. Every vehicle in the neighbourhood knew to make a nice, wide turn, away from his path because he wasn’t going to change his. About 4 months ago our garden wall was broken down for reconstruction and we had taken him out for his nightly pee and poop session. He was taking ages and mom and I were watching a show on tv. So we told him dad was on the way home and he’d let him in and went inside. He had decided to go looking for dad who worked about 150 metres away from our home. He’d one over the broken wall and made it to the main road. I was told that the Tuk Tuk drivers with the help of one of the traffic policeman had created a wall against oncoming traffic so he wouldnt get hit, and because he refused to let anyone touch him two men came running to our house to fetch us so we can bring him back home. Thank god he’s so famously known in town! He created a massive traffic jam and noone complained. Mind you he was deaf and blind at this point so we are pretty sure he simply followed dad’s scent because we have never taken him that way towards the main road before and dad’s the only one who takes that path and he was apparently very purposefully making his way to dad’s office building.

He grew to display behaviour so fundamentally similar to me that we were almost the same person. He hated potatoes, He loved chicken. He hated getting up in the morning and was most active in the night. He hated being helped, towards the end he found it difficult to get up, difficult to walk, but he always had to try by himself for several minutes before grudgingly allowing us to help him. He pretended to hate attention but loved being the centre of it. He hated having his picture taken and he liked baths only after he was in them. He was ticklish on his sides, he was grumpy in the mornings, he liked to go to places only for the ride, once we got to a place it was like ok home now. He was very mellow, he took everything in stride and never complained, he would be mad at you for approximately 2.5 seconds. He was friendly towards everyone but had his favourites… this showed. He was a little afraid of birds. He hated milk by itself and loved roasted dhal. He liked his bread buttered and only slightly toasted. He didn’t like being told what to do and would pathologically rebel, whether it was being asked not to sit during bathtime or being given sedatives at the vets before getting stitches (he was given enough sedatives to affect a much larger dog, but he refused to let it get to him and didnt even go to sleep that night). 

I should have accepted that his time was done, I shouldn’t have tried to force down his medicine. I think I caused him a lot of pain towards the end. I should have just let him be in peace. I shouldnt have carried him to the doctors every day. He hated being carried. I’m so scared that he hated me those last few days. I told him over and over that I was sorry, I just wanted to help. But a dog doesn’t understand all that. He’s gone now and and I caused him all that stress for nothing. And it’s breaking my heart.

He was my home for 14 years and 3 months and 9 days. I don’t really know how to be or do without him here. How am I supposed to want to come back home knowing he won’t be there waiting for me. How am I to sleep without the sound of his snores punctuating the air. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go to the washroom without hearing him padding to the door and loudly sniffing underneath it to see if I was there. I keep expecting to hear him bark softly from outside the door to let me know he was outside and not inside. I keep tripping on myself thinking he was lying on the floor and I was about to step on him. I couldn’t go to sleep yesterday because he didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night to ask for a midnight snack or to let me know he needed to pee.

There was a brilliant sunset yesterday, the whole sky turned gold as we set him down in his little coffin and decorated his grave with flowers. There was a rainbow too. People sent me pictures, saying it was a sign. I don’t want a sign, I don’t want him up there. I want him home with me where he’s supposed to be.

[not-your-everyday-smol]

The Witch and the Borrowers

Chapter 3 ~

As if on cue, Logan’s stomach growled, loudly enough for both borrower and witch to hear. He’d be embarrassed if his sister’s gut hadn’t responded in kind. It was awkward silence for only a split second after, before all three started shaking with laughter. All attempts to stifle noise failed and the area seemed to mirror the happy scene. Whatever spell Lily had done was working perfectly. The overall feeling was one of ease and subtle happiness, something they were all grateful for. “It seems as though now would be a good time to start dinner!” Lily spoke out.

Food of all sorts began to fly from the assortment to Lily’s plate. At the same time, a miniature table and stools bounced over and landed with a gentle leap. Placemats, dishes, and silverware made their way on top; all perfectly sized to accommodate the witch’s guests. In an instant, a delicious dinner literally blossomed in front of them. From Cynthia and Logan’s perspective, they could almost pretend they weren’t small. There was a perfectly golden-brown chicken, mashed potatoes, slices of garlic bread, a tiny gravy train chugging above their heads, meticulously sliced butter, and carrots to go with. In between the steaming food were fancy glasses filled with many different drinks. “I didn’t know what you’d like so I picked a traditional dinner. I assumed you probably only drink water, so I just chose every drink I could think of. Please don’t hesitate! Eat as much as you’d like!”

If eyes could pop out of heads when surprised, Logan and his sister’s would be rolling on the floor. Speaking at the same time, they blurted out, “How did you get it to our size? Where’d all this food come from? How’d you do all that? What is all of this?- They would’ve likely continued spewing questions, had Lily not interrupted with a smile, "To answer all of those questions, in short, I’m a witch! I shrunk everything or made it myself. Like, the table and stools are hand-carved, and the forks and such are from my own kitchen. And magic created all this flare because I really wanted it to be special! Now, eat! I promise I’ll answer any and all questions after you’ve filled your stomachs as much as you’d like.”

Cynthia looked down in amazement. Taking her fork in a fist, she stabbed or scooped what she wanted onto her plate with her brother following suit. Lily noticed instantly that they used the silverware as though they were five year olds. She lightly cleared her throat to get their attention and showed them, without speaking, how to use each tool properly.

Logan got it immediately and righted his grip. Cynthia needed a bit more help, not quite getting it right. Her mind was silent as her filled mouth chewed like she’d never chewed before; every flavor creating a different sensation on her tongue. The butter was so salty and creamy. The bread was so sharp and crunchy with a slightly soft middle. The chicken burst with flavor in each bite while the potatoes were amazingly smooth and absolutely pleasant to eat. Looking over, she found her brother experiencing the same utter bliss.

Logan had almost forgotten the drinks, but elbowed Cynthia and nodded towards them. An invitation to try them together. She nodded back and put her spoon down, but not until she’d licked off all the mashed potatoes of course. The dark brown drink with bubbles popping on the surface sparked their interest first. To Cynthia, it was sweet and pleasant on her throat. To Logan, it was overly sweet and made his eyes water. A yellow liquid with little flakes floating inside was next up. Again, a sweet drink to both, but it had a tart sting. There were others that they recognized, like milk, orange juice, and apple juice. Lastly, there was a dark red liquid. It was very sweet, but accompanied with another strange flavor. It wasn’t coppery, but it almost resembled the smell. After trying them all, they stopped and took a deep breath. Their stomachs were filled enough that they didn’t want to risk eating too much and vomiting.

Lily decided to explain the drinks as they seemed confused as to what they’d had. “That brown, fizzy drink right there is Root Beer. It’s a soda that’s honestly pretty good with vanilla ice cream. The yellow one is lemonade, basically lemon, water, and sugar. I’m sure you know milk, orange juice, and apple juice. (Oooo she read their mind 0.o jk she just had a vibe). And last is wine. It’s an alcohol so I didn’t know if you’d like it.” She trailed off, not knowing what else to add. Noticing this, Logan said, “This was really, really good. The drinks, the food, the setup, everything. I’ve never felt this good.” He blamed his openness on the food and the spell. Almost sadly at that fact, Lily gave a small smile,“ I’m glad I could do this for you both. It’s honestly been so hard not just walking over to you and saying, ‘Hi, I’m Lily! I really want to be friends with you, what do you think??’ ”

The word sounded like a perfect fit. Friends. It’d be strange, but they could make it work. Cynthia, though, found herself thinking that friends wasn’t enough. It didn’t seem close enough. Not that she was necessarily comfortable with being close to Lily right now, but still. Shaking her head to dispel the thoughts, she looked up and smiled. “I think that’d be lovely.” That was when she noticed, the human’s plate wasn’t filled with food any longer. How had she eaten without them noticing? It must’ve been on purpose so no on would feel uncomfortable. At that thought, she had a warm feeling in her heart. Lily really did go above and beyond to make them comfortable and happy. She knew she could trust her without a doubt at this point.

Logan spoke up in agreement, “Me too. Truthfully, we didn’t feel the same. Not because we thought you were a horrible person, though! It’s just… we’re so small and it’s not exactly easy.” At that, Lily decided to ask a question she was afraid of hearing the answer to. “I know it isn’t right for me to pry, but I must know. Have you been hurt by any humans? It doesn’t seem like it, but the way Cynthia responded to me yesterday had me wondering.”

He and Cynthia gave each other a knowing look. They exchanged questions and answers only within their gazes. 'Do you want to tell her?’ 'It’s fine if she knows, but I don’t want to be the one to say it.’ 'Are you alright?’ 'Yeah. Go ahead.“ Looking up, the girl explained, "It wasn’t us, but our parents. We all lived in the forest, inside of a pine tree. It was dangerous, but they made it work. We were so young that it’s hard to remember much, but one day there were loud cracks in the distance. It only happened in the daytime and we couldn’t see the source, so we just had to ignore it. Eventually, the sound became louder and louder. There was some sort of movement in the distance, soon showing shapes of humans. They’d been cutting down the trees and ours was marked with red paint. Our parents took us and immediately left. After awhile, we’d all huddled against the base of some tree to rest. Our father refused to sleep, instead watching out for us. Mom stayed awake while he would climb trees and search around the forest floor. The next morning was time to start moving again, but dad wasn’t around. It didn’t take long to find a set of human footsteps trailed not far from.. from us.” Cynthia began to choke up, so Logan continued instead with a hand on hers for support.

“Mom couldn’t accept that he’d been taken. She made us wait under a pile of leaves while she went looking. I was terrified and didn’t want her out of my sight, so Cynthia and I quietly followed her from a short distance. Only minutes after, we all heard loud thumps coming our way. I wanted so badly to cry out and run to my mom, but it would’ve just got us caught. Two humans were walking with their eyes on the forest floor. One of them had dad trapped in a fist. The other quickly saw mom and grabbed her. They were so fascinated and stared at our parents up close. I think they asked them if there were any more… any more borrowers out in the forest. Dad was crying and mom was screaming. And then they left. Just like that.”

Both siblings had tears streaming down their eyes as he finished. Lily could only look in horror. Her mouth opened only slightly before closing. She just didn’t know what to say. Her heart hurt and the area around them responded. The room darkened, a slight rain began outside, and the flames on each wick burned less brightly. The flowers drooped low, reacting to the witch’s emotions. She knew it was bold and possibly stupid, but reached over anyways, cupping a hand around the two. They flinched, but settled into it after a few moments. “This shouldn’t have ever happened to either of you.”

Cynthia sniffed and took a deep breath. “Yeah. Sometimes I wish we had run out and been caught as well, but there would’ve only been a small chance that we would’ve been able to stay with our parents. We knew we had to leave before they decided to come back again, so we kept moving. It took a week, but we found a house in the woods. Your house. And the rest was history.”

Lily made a silent promise to herself that she’d find their parents if they were still alive. Maybe they escaped, or maybe they were still trapped. Either way, shed put her magic to good use. She’d only let the siblings find out when she’d actually rescued their parents. False hope was a painful thing, and they’d had enough pain in their lifetime. She decided to take away her hand, saying, “And it’s a good thing you came to mine, too. My life would be miserable without you two souls in this house.” They both looked up at her with little smiles. “It hurts to remember, but we learned to live with it. Don’t worry too much about us, ” Cynthia reassured.

[randoreviews]

MATHIESON FOOD/COOKING/FOOD INTERVIEW

B: Y’all set? M: Yeah! B: Okay, cool. So my first question is, this sounds kinda dirty, but when was the last time you ate fluff? M: That I ate what??? B: Ate fluff! Like peanut butter and fluff. M: Peanut butter and fluff, huh... Uumm... Did we have that in New Zealand? It wasn’t an approved item in my mom’s pantry, that’s for sure, so, I would say... maybe high school at one of my friend’s houses? B: Haha. Yeah. So you weren’t really... a fan of it. M: No, we weren’t allowed to have anything like that. B: Okay. And you didn’t, like, sneak it? M: I was never really sneaky, I tried to be healthy like my father, but... when I first found Nutella, that was like my guilty pleasure. B: Okay. Yup. M: But fluff never really did it for me. B: Just too sugary or the consistency, err... M: Yeah, and I was more, I liked the jelly because you get a little bit of acidity to cut the fat, I don’t think I would have described peanut butter and jelly to you that way before I became a chef but, uh, I was more of a jelly person. Jelly and crunchy peanut butter. B: Mmm, that sounds good. And the jelly with peanut butter, like, it’s easier to eat. Peanut butter is really thick and then fluff is ALSO really thick, so it’s like... how do people even eat that? M: Yeah, and it would have been smarter if they had mixed them both together and that made it easier to spread on a piece of bread. B: Mhm, mhm. All right, so the second question’s a lot healthier and a easy one, uh, favorite vegetable... M: Carrots. B: Carrots. Okay... You wanna say why errr...? You don’t have to say why. M: I think carrots... I mean, they were generally overlooked for a little while, they’re a little more popular with chefs now just doing carrot dishes and things like that. But I love them raw. I think it’s the best vegetable you can just grab outta your refrigerator and chomp on. B: Mhm. M: I also remember a time at my dad’s house we would just eat like bags of baby carrots for dinner sometimes and it was great. B: Mhm. I have a funny mom story, you know when moms can just, like, take you down a peg or two when they feel like it... M: Haha. B: I was eating baby carrots one night... and you know, they’re organic of course and, you know, good for you, supposedly... you would think, and then my mom was like, uh, You know those baby carrots come, like, you know they’re like soaked in chlorine, right?, or something, and it was just that moment where you’re just like, Wa-Waa, and you just kinda put the carrot that you’re eating down. But, um, yeah, maybe I’ll buy a bag of baby carrots tomorrow. M: I’m sure that they could be packed in some sort of solution, but baby carrots are essentially, they’re large carrots, they normally come from horse carrots which are the biggest carrots you can buyy... B: Right. M: Soo... it’s a regular carrot, they just do something to it to get that shape and they use the rest of it for shredded carrots on like a salad bar. B: Yup... cool. All right, soo, I didn’t want to limit you to just one answer on this so I’m sayin, TWO favorite cheeses... M: Two favorite cheeses... Umm... I would say taleggio is like... definitely one of  my favorite cheeses. It’s kind of got a consistency where you can kind of spread it, it’s good on a cheese plate, and it’s also, like, super good to melt. B: Hmm! I don’t know, you said taleggio? Like, T? Like, Tim? M: T-A-L-E-G-G-I-O. Or something pretty close to that. B: Hmm, I don’t know if I’ve heard of that or had that. It sounds like a soft cheese err?? M: Yeah, it’s, uh, I would say maybe semi-soft? I mean you kind of cut into it like it’s a brie? It holds up a little better but, if it gets warm you can definitely spread it. You can SLICE it, make a sandwich out of it, I wouldn’t waste it on a sandwich, I think it’s just perfect the way it is. B: Too precious for a sandwich? M: Yeah, it’s a little salty. And when I first tried it, it smells really really bad. And at that time I wasn’t necessarily into stinky cheeses? But I think taleggio is like a gateway drug into the stinky cheese world, for sure. B: Haha... it sounds pretty Italian. M: It is, yeah. B: Nice. And your number two would be....? M: Ah, that’s a hard one... so many... B: Yeah... We can always come back to it, we can let it marinate for a few. No pun intended, and, uh, we can come back to it if you want. M: Yeah, let me come back to it. B: Okay! All right, so when did you start cooking? And did you know right away it was what you wanted to do... M: So when I first started cooking, I was probablyyy... fifteen or so? I was a dishwasher at an Italian restaurant in Plattsburgh called Dominic’s... B: Yup. M: ... and, um, one thing I did know is, I never thought I would be a chef because at that point The Food Network was just kinda coming ouuut, but I didn’t know much about chefs and the chef world. Really nothing at all. So, it wasn’t necessarily something I thought of? I thought of hospitality as a career but I also really enjoyed, like, my time in Nicaragua, soo... that’s why I kind of thought I would maybe go into the medical field. B: Mhm. M: Soo... I loved working at the restaurant, and I worked under the chef, the chef never took a day off, the first chef that I worked for, his name was Sammy, never took a day off once, and... hardest working guy but also, kinda cared about showing me how to do things. So I started out peeling shrimp in the morning and then washing dishes for the rest of the night and then I went and I kinda got more prep, I started breading the chicken parmesan cutlets and pounding them out and, that was more exciting than shrimp, for sure. And then I found I got into the pizza dough, making the pizza dough balls... B: Yup. M: And then from there, one day one of the line cooks, he was missing a couple teeth, I can’t remember his name, but he started yelling at me for something and, uh, the chef took him outside and I never saw the line cook again. B: He shot him? M: Haha, I wouldn’t say shot but... I was working the grill station after that, and that’s when I started, I would call my friends and say, Hey, come wash dishes at Dominic’s because, literally, if they came to wash dishes I was able to work the line. And it was exciting. B: Wow, cool! So he was like uhhh... your first mentor... in cooking... M: Yeah, kinda. It didn’t last for very long because, uh, the restaurant burnt down theee fall... So my first day was the day after prom, so I was a little hungover my first day. B: And you had to peel shrimp? M: Yup. B: Oh man. That’s rough. M: Yup, do the shrimp, wash the dishes, and uhh... sorry, I lost my train of thought... Oh yeah, the restaurant burnt down. So I got to work there that whole summer, and then they had another restaurant open on Rouses Point, so on the really exciting days they would be running out of something, like a vegetable or something like that, and I would drive their BMW, their black BMW... B: Nice. M: ... It was a little older, it had one of those built-in cell phones, and I’d drive it up to Rouses Point, to deliver whatever was in the trunk. B: Woww. Right along the water there?, that sounds like it’s on the water. M: Yup, it was on the water, it was pretty cool. And, uh, sometimes I would also mow the lawns. I would mow the lawns at the restaurants and at their house as well. B: Wow! Just doin it all like a renaissance man.   M: Haha. Yeah. But then it was my first day senior year of high school and it was my first day of school, and I woke up to a voicemail from my uncle who worked at the fire department that said, I hope you’re not working at Dominic’s, it just burnt down. B: Wowww. M: So then I kinda lost that kinda excitment, uh, I went to work in a couple other places around Plattsburgh, one of them was called Aladdin’s, and it was Lebanese cuisine, and I worked for an owner, her name was Houda, she was from... mm, I want to say... I’m not sure. B: But she was Middle Eastern. M: Yes, yeah. So they played this really loud Lebanese music, and they had belly dancing nights. And they liked me, and I got to write the specials and put them on the menu, and they would even use my name in the newspaper as, like, Chef Mathieson, and I think I was a senior that year. B: Daaaamn. The women are starting to take notice. M: Yeah. And there I found, there it was kind of a smaller restaurant, so I would wash dishes and cook the shawarma and tabouli and stuff like that. B: Ahh. Delicious. M: I really liked the food. And then, that restaurant closed pretty quickly too, in the springtime, and then the summer before I went to college I found a job at a restaurant called Minnie’s, and Minnie’s was this beautiful restaurant on Bridge Street in downtown Plattsburgh... I guess you don’t have to say downtown Plattsburgh... um, but uh, there I got to work the line. There was a chef there who was a culinary school graduate... B: Mhm. M: And, on the weekends, the owner let me be in charge of the Sunday brunch menu, so I got to write some brunch dishes, and I remember being at a college orientation in Potsdam, writing my menu for the weekend. And it didn’t really occur to me then that... I should just... be a chef. B: Yeah! M: It kinda happened when I got to school and realized how miserable I was. B: Right, yeah. You started missin peelin those shrimp. M: Haha, exactly. B: But what was the guy’s name at Dominic’s, one more time? M: Sammy. B: Does he have a last name? Is he still alive? M: Definitely still alive. I don’t knoww... Both of them live in Plattsburgh. He has a brother named Enzo, and I actually went and worked for them again... but... I wouldn’t know how to spell their last name, much less pronounce it. They were from Yugoslavia. B: Ah. Cool. Okay, so did it come out of necessity, you cooking, since your dad could subsist on popcorn and Labatt Blue. (God love him.) M: I try to stay away from that line of, but I started cooking at home before I got a restaurant job, I would watch The Food Network, and I would get home from school probly like an hour or so before my dad would get home from work. It was kind of like... it was kind of soulful, it was like, put the music on, start cookin... I had a lot of big flops back then, I remember I tried to coat, like, salmon with graham cracker crust cuz there wasn’t anything else in the pantry, but um, it was nice to do something nice for my dad when he got home from work. B: Yeah. M: And that was kind of a way I showed my appreciation for him. I’m sure as a teenager sneaking out at night to party, I didn’t do much of it, but... when I cooked, that’s how I showed it. B: Food is love, that’s the way I think of it. It can be hard to express feelings to people, but then you just, like, cook for them and that’s it. You know, and that’s all you really need to do... well, hopefully you do a few other things but cooking is really important. Um, so where did you study? Cuz you went to culinary school. M: I went to the Culinary School of America. B: And there’s a east coast campus, and a west coast campus, I went to the west coast campus with you, right? M: Oh yeah, yeah, the west coast campus is in Napa Valley. I went to the east coast campus, it’s like the OG, it kinda looks like Hogwarts, just an amazing, beautiful school, and, my eyes were just opened wide as soon as I stepped foot on that campus, because, um, I went from SUNY Canton... I can’t say much about SUNY Canton because that’s where Aunt Sheila went... B: Hahaha. M: I went from SUNY Canton to, I applied to culinary school the first month I was at SUNY Canton and I called my dad and I was like, Yeah, I’m comin home, I’m goin to culinary school, fuck this shit. And he was like, Well, you’re not livin with me. B: Hahaha. M: I went and I worked as a waiter to save up money for college, it was the second restaurant, so when Dominic’s burnt down they built a new one, in Plattsburgh. So I went and worked for them as a waiter. B: Just called Dominic’s again? M: They called it San Morino Two. B: Huh. Cool. M: But yeah, Culinary Institute in Hyde Park. B: Hyde Park... sweet. Was it... were people generally friendly, I know the restaurant businesses and cooking businesses, like a lot of businesses, can be kind of cutthroat but, were your fellow students there friendly, the professors...? M: Yeah, it was much different, it was very structured, almost like a military school in the fact that, you shave before you go into class, you have to be dressed up, you have to wear your chef whites in the kitchen and you have to wear one of those tall hats and it can’t be crumpled up, you can’t put it in your backpack or anything. B: Right. M: And as far as my friends, some of my lifelong friends I met there. People were great there. You always get a few douchebags who think they know everything. B: Right. M: And it definitely happens more in culinary school, I would say. I started there right around the time when you still had to work for at least six months in a restaurant before you’re allowed to go to the school, and you had to get recommendations from restaurant owners to get in. They stopped that kind of shortly after my class and then, people that didn’t necessarily know what they wanted to do would just go to culinary school. And our class, I think, we started with like 45 people and ended up with actually twelve that graduated at the same time there. So the dropout rate is pretty high there. B: Does that mean, since there were only twelve of you who made it at the end, did you really bond with them, er, not so much? M: Yeah, I had a little different scenario, my first year and a half in culinary school, the first six weeks is book classes, like culinary math and, culinary writing and things like that, and then you get into the kitchen, and first you start with your knife cuts, and then making stocks, like chicken stock, beef stock, things like that. B: Right, yeah. M: And then you go into your first skills class which is when you cook very basic French dishes. So as soon as you get into that class, you are graded every day on, you have to bring in definitions of different culinary terms and ingredients? But you also prepare certain dishes in a certain amount of time and you present each dish to the chef, for a grade. Sometimes you work in groups and sometimes it’s just by yourself. But I kinda like that. I had some success and some failures. Everything was in blocks there, so it wasn’t like first semester, second semester, but towards the end of my time before I got sent on my externship, I took a practical, I kinda flopped, I got the hardest one, it was a poached sol, you gotta break the fish down and all that stuff. B: Whoa. M: So I wasn’t proud of that but I still passed. B: Nice. And you said culinary math, that’s like memorizing tablespoons and ounces, what does culinary math mean? M: Yeah, so my first day in culinary math class, one of our first projects was to peel carrots, and when you start culinary school you get your own, like, knife kit of all the professional tools that you’ll need to work in the kitchen, and one of them was the peeler, which hadn’t been used yet. So I reached into the bag to get my peeler and I sliced my finger open in the math class, before I had even stepped foot in a kitchen. B: Oooooo. M: So, uh, I was kind of embarrassed, because a few people saw that I was bleeding from a peeler, but I managed to hide it with a napkin, and peel the carrot and then you weighed it, and then you figure out, if you buy the carrot for X amount and you take off X in carrot peels, how much is the carrot’s yield is what you’re looking for. B: Right, so in the long run, how much money are you gonna get back? Wow, man. That’s where my brain stops working, I was never good at any kind of math. M: I’m not either, trust me. B: So aside from testing out new recipes that you’ve been doing, what was the last thing you made for yourself? M: The last thing I made for myself... B: It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, just, honestly the last thing you made for yourself. M: I maaaade... ch-ch-ch-chhh.... I mean I’ve kind of been cooking for myself with all these Asian ingredients I have in my pantry right now, but I’m trying to think of something I normally wouldn’t do if I wasn’t doing what I am. I maaade... ravioli after Christmas with my grandfather. B: Mmm. Nice. Just, like, regular ravioli, err... M: So we do it, it’s a new day-after-Christmas tradition. Essentially it started with us finding the pasta machine and now every year we roll out pasta and I make the fillings. And last year was pretty special, it was the first year without my grandmother. Soo... we have three big nights in my family, we do Christmas Eve dinner, and Uncle Howard always used to come over and we would eat shrimp spaghetti which is actually your mom’s recipe... B: Nice, yup. M: And then Christmas... well, I’ll play this back, Christmas Eve turned into more of a roast, prime rib sort of thing and then on Christmas Day we have a ham and we have a turkey that’s roasted off. So last year I made three raviolis and one was Christmas Eve dedicated to my grandmother, Christmas Eve at her house. And I did a Christmas Day which was a turkey, I made a sauce with the bones and I made a cool filling. It kind of reminded me of what Christmas Day tastes like, it’s a little different than what Thanksgiving tastes like even though it was a turkey. And then the next one is, my uncle’s birthday, my Uncle Doug, my mom’s brother, and we always go out to dinner the day after Christmas too. And that one was, I used all the leftovers. Anyways, I got pretty intense with, this flavor, this filling, reminds me of this night. B: Cool. So each of the three raviolis had a different filling? M: Mhm. B: Wow, that’s cool. Cuz there’s the regular ravioli is like a meat or a kind of beef or pork filling and tomato sauce, but then I’ve also had butternut squash filling, you get the cheese filling with the white cheese sauce on it. Those are all really good. M: Yeah, yeah. And ravioli also reminds me, that was one of my dad’s numbers. I numbered the meals he could cook one through five. And Thursdays we normally had number four, which was ravioli with Paul Newman’s tomato sauce. B: That sounds really good. He could make five dinners? M: Yeah, it was tacos, ravioli, frozen pizzaa... He’s a little more creative now. That was always a running joke. B: Nice. Hey, five ain’t bad. That’s probably a couple more than most people. Okay, so can you explain to people what Fernet is? M: Yeah, so Fernet is a digestif, made with many different herbs and spices. The purpose is to drink it when you’re finished eating, essentially. It kind of helps you to digest your food faster. And it’s bitter so it kind of, I guess, cleanses your palette in a way. B: Right, yeah. How would you describe, besides the words you’ve already used, like herbaceous and it tastes like a spice, how would you describe the taste? Any other adjectives come to mind? Because I only know about it through you, I’ve had it with you. It has its own flavor. M: Definitely has its own flavor. I would say bitter would be one of the top flavors. It’s aromatic. I want to say, I don’t know this for a fact but there’s like sixty-three different ingredients that go into making it. B: Whoa. M: But it’s normally served after you’re finished eating, like the same time you’d get a coffee or espresso, you’d also drink a Fernet. My grandfather came over to visit me in San Francisco, and one of the bartenders brought me a bottle and my grandfather was like, Oh my god, your great grandmother used to drink this, and she was Italian. B: Right, okay, I was just gonna ask you, is it Italian? M: Yeah, it’s Italian. B: Okay, cool. That’s always a safe guess. And soo, for those not familiar, can you tell people what Michigans are, where they came from, why they’re important to your hometown and my mom’s side of the family’s hometown of Plattsburgh in upstate New York?... So, what’s a Michigan? M: Yeah, so a Michigan is a hot dog... covered in ground beef sauce. I’ve researched the recipe a lot, the authentic recipe, and from my understanding, they put ground beef into boiling water and simmer it for hours and hours, and then they add spices to it. And then, the technical recipe, unless there’s a secret somewhere that I don’t understand, some recipes call for tomato, I enjoy using tomato, it’s a little deeper flavor. And then the way to eat a Michigan is to... get it buried. So you get raw, chopped onions underneath the hot dog. And the hot dog bun always has to be steamed. B: Right. Make it a little soft, add a little moisture. And the buried onions really bring it to another level, I agree. M: Yeah, I think it really cuts into the fattiness of the hot dog, because you get all the flavorful Michigan sauce, but then when you get down in there, it’s just a hot dog. The onions really kick it all up. And then mustard as well. That’s the classic garnish B: Yeah, right. I was just gonna... and I never think to add ketchup really, it’s like the mustard is the condiment that goes with those three or four other things. M: Right. You do not need ketchup there at all. B: Right, yeah. Maybe because of the meat is already pretty sweet because of the Italian tomato sauce you use. M: Yeah, the meat’s a little sweet. Normally if I’m making it, I caramelize the tomato paste in the bottom of the pan and add some, like, aromatic vegetables, and then that’s kind of how I develop the cooking liquid for the beef. And then you just cook that down. It takes a few hours but it’s worth it, always. B: It’s so worth it. Soo, can youuu... this will be the last question like this... Can you tell people about cold shredded cheese on pizza. That seems like a life hack, or just a good tip. M: So, from my research, I’ve found that, it’s a college town thing in upstate New York to put cold cheese on your pizza, because when you’re drunk and really hungry and the pizza’s hot out of the oven, you want to cool it down a little bit. So cold cheese kind of came into play that way. B: Ahaa! And then they were, upon the first bite they were just like, this is also delicious. M: This is perfect. Why not have a little extra cheese on top? B: Nice. So my favorite restaurant experience, no question... and this is just, like, bragging at this point but... my favorite restaurant experience was going to Chez Panisse in Berkeley with you and our cousin Lauren, and we let you order everything... Can you tell people about this restaurant and maybe why it’s so good? M: Yeah, so, Chez Panisse, and Alice Waters, kind of were the pioneers, alongside of Jeremiah Tower in San Francisco, who kind of created the movement of farm to table in America, which wasn’t necessarily a thing because of the way our food system has been set up in this country. So Alice Waters spent some time in France and, um, came back and decided to set up a little restaurant called Chez Panisse, where she used only the highest quality ingredients and also became friends with the farmers and her purveyors and didn’t use a big massive company that brought her all of her ingredients, she found each specific ingredient as she needed it. And there are some chefs who will talk smack about Alice Waters, um, Anthony Bourdain was one of them, but I think the importance of what she did to the farm-to-table scene and also to incorporate a farm-to-table scene in children’s diets is also very important. There’s also some of the most talented chefs in California worked for Alice Waters. I believe Jeremiah Tower was one of them. I think he was the opening chef but don’t quote me on that. Jeremiah Tower had a restaurant in San Francisco called Stars, so it was kind of a similar philosophy, farm to table, he was more of a fine dining chef. I think the other important piece of Chez Panisse was it was more of a European style of restaurant, and that became influential because before it was kind of like, you got your Chinese takeout, you’ve got your Italian-American, you’ve got your steakhouse. But you didn’t necessarily have something like Chez Panisse that you could find in France and that sort of thing. And the way she sourced her ingredients, the way it was cooked... B: She essentially cuts out the middle man, right? She just... likes to deal with the farmers herself, right? M: Yes, yeah, definitely. And that’s definitely possible for a lot of people to do, um, it’s just... technically not, like, typical in a restaurant, you find your vendors and then you figure out what you want from those vendors and what the price is, and they deliver to you everyday or a couple, few times a week, depending on how your volume is. So actually it’s very difficult to not deal with that and go directly to people. You have to be extremely organized, in what quantity you’re buying, because most people that run restaurants don’t have that much time to do that, go to a farm to pick up a bag of beans. B: I was gonna say, you probably also have to be a little bit crazy to do that too. Have some OBSESSION with quality, which I know a lot of cooks already do, but... M: Mhm. B: And just being in that building, it was like being in the greatest house ever, it was just so waaarm. It was all, like, super high-quality wood, and just like perfect warm lighting, not too bright, not too dim. Just crazy, it was like being on a spaceship or something. M: Mhm. B: It was awesome. We gotta go back there. Umm, okay, so what country’s cuisine... we’ve talked about France, we’ve talked about Italy, what country’s cuisine has influenced you the most. M: That’s a great question. I don’t necessarily say I could give you a country but I would say California cuisine has influenced my cuisine more than anything else. B: Mhm. M: California cuisine was technically cuisine pioneered by Alice Waters and Jeremiah Tower. B: Mhm. So just fresh, farm-to-table ingredients, nothing too fancy. M: Yeah. There were times when you wanna... I guess what I like about it is, it’s the ingredients and then it’s kind of, do whatever you want to it but you don’t necessarily have to say, this is an Italian dish, or... there’s no restrictions. Say you worked at an Italian restaurant and you wanted to do something off of the beaten path, it’s harder to get away with it. B: Mhm. Yeah, and I know Alice Waterrrs, she’s just like, you can’t really improve on things that, I guess you could say, God created but, she’s obsessed with, like, when a certain fruit is in season, tangerine, I’m forgettinngg the citrus fruit that she really loves, but she’ll just, like, present that when it’s ripe, and it’s the most delicious thing somehow. M: Yeah, and it’s perfect. That is a way that dessert is served in a proper Japanese restaurant, they’re gonna give you a slice of melon. Because they’re so obsessed with growing perfect fruit there. B: Huh! M: Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve ever gone to, like, a sushi restaurant where they’ve given you a slice of honeydew melon or something. But in Japan a melon can go for, like, twenty grand. B: Holy. I can’t think of having melon at a sushi place before but, wow, that’s cool. There’s gotta be something sexual about it, like melons... round, shapely, right? M: Haha. Yeah, I don’t know where it’s derived from, but I love the simplicity of Japanese cuisine, and that’s like the first real, ingredient-driven cuisine, a little insane. I mean obviously Italian cuisine is ingredient-driven. And then other cuisines are just from, this is what grows nearby me and I’m gonna find the best, most ripe piece of X, Y, Z, because you don’t need to do anything to it. Anthony Bourdain’s point about Alice Waters was that she ruined creativity in San Francisco, which at the time was the best food city in the country. B: Mhm, because she kept things too simple for his taste? She took the cheffing out of it in his eyes? M: I think she took, it was more just about the ingredients. But at the same time, there are so many spectacular chefs that worked for her and went on to do crazy things. Jeremiah Tower, for instance. A lot of people have taken what she’s done and applied certain things to it. Now I would say L.A.’s probly got the best food scene goin on in the country right now, but San Francisco’s not too far behind. B: Mhm, cool. Okay, so this is kind of a morbid question but, you’re on death row, what’s your final meal? M: ... Lasagna. B: Haha. Anyone’s lasagna in particular? Do you make it for yourself, is that part of, like, the last feel-good act is you make the lasagna yourself or are you just interested in eating it? M: You know, if I was on Death Row I doubt that they would let me hold a knife in my hand... B: Hahaha. M: ... But I would actually not cook for myself if it was my final meal. I would... B: There you go. M: ... I would want my mother’s lasagna. B: Of course. M: I do like Annette’s lasagna a lot, it’s really good. But I could never say that out loud. B: Haha. Good answer, good answer. Okay, so what would be your dream job situation. Owning a restaurant, is it a big restaurant, small restaurant, is it in the city or the country? M: My dream job situation would be, wake up in the morning, take a swim, go for a run in a field or something, and then go and grab some vegetables from a farmers market of some sort or go to a farm, and then not have to cook for a million people. B: Haha. Nice, nice. M: But I would have, like, a dishwasher and maybe a couple cooks, but it wouldn’t be a big staff at all, it would just be like people cooking together and enjoying it and not being stressed out. There are so many different facets that you could work in this business, especially just being a chef. But what I love about cooking is... how I feel, when I’m making someone else feel good. B: Yeah! Yeah. M: And that’s what I like the most about cooking. And it’s not about me being the most creative person in the world or anything like that, it’s more about me, just kind... I wouldn’t say it’s my craft at this point, I would saayy... it’s my, kind of, zone. B: Yup. M: And it’s what I love to do. And it’s really hard to find a job that I would be able to do that without being stressed out for the rest of my life. Like say I wanted to be a chef in New York City and create all these amazing dishes and have an R&D fermentation lab and do all this crazy stuff. And the only way I could do that is if I was worth millions of dollars and I could afford it. B: Right. M: Those restaurants don’t necessarily make any money. I’ve never been at that point though. I’m kind of like, taking jobs that, I either learn from, I learn a lot by working with certain people, or... I learn for myself. Like my job in San Francisco, at the golf course. I learned a lot for myself there too because it wasn’t a corporation, it was, this is gonna happen and, figure it out. And there was no one else to say, don’t do that or, do this, do that. It was just kinda like, you figure it out or you fucked up. B: Haha. I like those terms. So would the scaaale be on... I had a question here that I was gonna skip but my eye keeps going back to it, and it just says, Will we ever go to French Laundry?, would your dream job situation be... I imagine French Laundry’s pretty small, but is that also a restaurant that’s owned by someone who has plenty of money and because of the money they can do things their way errr? M: Well, Thomas Keller started The French Laundry in, I wanna say, 1990, but The French Laundry gained its reputation from just Thomas Keller working his ass off. And now it’s something totally different because, there’s cookbooks, there’s Per Se in New York City, there’s Bouchon, there’s Ad Hoc, there’s all these other restaurants, but... it all started at The French Laundry and The French Laundry is only gonna get better while his company’s expanding because... B: You can put more back into it. M: Yeah, and if you talk about... I think Thomas Keller, he’s more of a chef’s chef whereas I don’t think that’s what I wanna do every day, I don’t want to work fifteen hours a day in a kitchen, I don’t want to do that anymore. So I’m more looking at what I’m doing now for a little bit more balance in my lifestyle, um, to be a little bit healthier and have a little bit more of a life. B: Yeah, yeah. M: And if you want to do anything like The French Laundry, you’ve gotta give that all up again. B: Right. M: That’s why a lot of new types of concepts are popping up now that are actually run by really good chefs, like fast casual joints that are more of a lunch business and it’s more of a volume sort of thing, and it’s cheaper food but it’s really good. And that allows the chefs of those businesses to not have to work until 3 in the morning and get up at 7 to go to the farmers market. B: Yeah. Man. So my favorite restaurant around here, probably including Boston but it’s down in Providence, is just called Kitchen? And it’s a breakfast/brunch place, and it’s about the size of a closet. It’s SO good. And it’s just this one guy, Howard, I just know his first name, Howard, and he’s the only cook in there. And there’s one server. And it’s just the two of them and it’s like they just make beautiful music together. I don’t know what he does but, like, everything I’ve ordered from there, french toast, everything is perfect. And I think it’s like, Wednesday to Sunday, 9 to 1. And he just makes beautiful food. M: Yeah. That is amazing. It’s something I thought of, at some points in my life, like why am I dealing with the stress like I dealt with in Houston of 650 cooks and all of these restaurants and restaurant openings and I was like, what if I just cooked everyday and forget all this bullshit? B: Haha, right. Maybe one day. He’s also... you’re still young in the game, but he’s probably in his seventies. But he’s doing the lord’s work. So just a couple more questions, I gotta mention this. The Patriots are in the Super Bowl again, you can just do a real quick recap but, can you tell people about the now legendary Tom Brady grapes story? M: So, all I know is, I wasn’t delivering anything into his room, and you can’t include the name of the hotel in case this goes viral... B: Haha, okay. Somewhere in upstate New York... M: At this hotel there’s only room for twenty-two guests at a time. Each guest pays an exorbitant amount of money for the entire experience, you don’t just rent the room, you’re paying for the food. And it’s not the kind of place that has a mini fridge in the room. So, most people don’t bring their own food with them. So, yeah, Tom Brady showed up with his hairdresser... B: Haha. M: ... and the only thing that was ever brought to the room were grapes. B: Hahaha... green grapes, red grapes? M: Any kind of grape that we had in the fridge... they got. B: Haha. M: So if we didn’t have something in our kitchen, we would figure out a way to find it out and go and get it. But we also, we changed our menu every single day there. On Wednesdays and Saturdays we hosted a twelve-course tasting menu that was like a tuxedo event. B: Oh my gosh. Wow. M: It’s a tradition at that particular resort. The rest of the night it’s like a four-to-five course meal but it’s a dinner served at the same time. So people normally eat in the dining hall and then go back to their rooms and anything that they need in their rooms, there was a 24-hour butler service that would take care of any needs overnight. B: And he just had a need for grapes? M: A need for grapes. B: Haha. So last time I was at your sister’s, she was eating crackers and cheese for lunch and I thought this was pretty inspiring because I hadn’t had crackers and cheese in a while. Do you think this is a standard lunch for her? Is she big on the crackers and cheese? M: I would say it’s a possibility. My mom always ate cheddar cheese and granny smith apples for lunch. B: Whooaaa. Cool. Together? Like she would take a slice of the granny smith and a slice of the cheddar cheese and eat it together? M: Yeah. Who needs a cracker? B: Right. M: My father, I remember this distinctly for some reason, I even remember what plate he served it to me on, since when I was younger my mom was more of the cook, I don’t know if she was gone somewhere that day but, I was probably in maybe third grade or something, and I told my dad I was hungry and he made me a cheese plate. And it had crackers, cheese, and raisins on it. B: Mm! M: I was probably expecting a grilled cheese of some sort, but... it worked. It was a good combination. It was the first cheese plate I ever experienced. B: Mannn. Your dad gets a bad rap! He knows his way around the kitchen! He’s holdin out on me! M: They always had, in our fridge... I don’t remember cheddar actually. I remember monterey jack. That was the only cheese, because it was also the cheese that was used to make nachos, on Fridays. Which is also a very interesting dish and tradition. The nachos are made on Doritos Nacho Cheese, with refried beans that are spread individually on each chip. B: Whoaaa. M: My mom would even go as far as feeling each bag of Doritos to make sure that there weren’t too many crumbled Doritos at the bottom of the bag. B: Right. M: It was almost like watching Alice Waters pick a plum from a tree. B: Hahaha... So it was like, Nacho Friday. Nacho Fridays? M: Yup, nachos and we would get two VHSs, one for my parents to watch later and one that my sister and I had to agree on. B: Woowwww. Wow. So like a PG one, and then like a sexy one for your parents? M: Um, probably more like Die Hard. B: For your parents, okay. M: Something that we weren’t ready to see yet. B: Right. That’s one of my favorite movies. Okay, so this is the last question, and thank you again for doin this... Can you tell people about the new restaurant opening in March in NYC that you’re gonna be plying your trade... I’ll say your craft, you’ll be plying your craft at... M: Yeah, so it’s called Lucky Lee’s. It’s a concept dreamt up, um, not by myself but by my partners. Ariel and Lee are New Yorkers. Lee works in finance in New York and Ariel is kind of a wellness, social media... she went to one of the same schools that Elizabeth did. B: Mama Gena? M: I think it was the one at Columbia? B: Columbia, yup. M: So... Lee loved Chinese food and Ariel... didn’t want that shit in the house. B: Haha. M: When I first talked to Lee he was like, Listen, I’m a Jew from Long Island and I like Chinese food, like everyone in New York loves Chinese food, and my wife doesn’t want me to eat it. So I challenged her to create Chinese food that I’m allowed to eat. B: Wow. Nice. That’s really cool. M: Yeah, great story, they’re great people, I really like both of them, it’s been awesome working with them together, so... there’s no gluten at all. We’re not advertising it as a gluten-free restaurant but our soy sauce is made with pure soybean, our chicken is pasture-raised and free range depending on, we still have to negotiate some pricing with the vendors there and the farms, and our beef is grass-fed. And kind of, we’re taking higher standards while looking into Chinese cuisine, Chinese-American takeout cuisine specifically, so it’s something you can feel good about, like, the next day. We also don’t wanna talk shit about Chinese-American foods because, it’s great. That’s not why we’re doing it. We’re doing it because it’s kind of just a new take on... a new take on takeout. B: Nice. I like that. I think that’s a perfect way to end. I mean we can stop the interview here but, do you have a link, is there a website to the restaurant? I can put it at the end of the interview. M: Yeah, I can send it to you. I don’t think there’s much up on the website YET, it’s probly just a link to the Instagram.    https://www.luckyleesnyc.com/

[doihaveanaccentyet]

Il Ritorno

It’s been three years and I’m back. Back to Europe, back to crying on a transatlantic flight, and back to writing about it. It’s a little bit weird, I think, to resurrect my college study abroad blog, but it was kind of a condition of me being invited on this trip. A promise is a promise! So here goes:

To provide some back story, my parents let my brother and I know in the fall that they were planning a two-week European trip for Memorial Day weekend. At the time, Corey was a few months into college and couldn’t think of anything worse than spending a week+ with his family, when he could be wasted in the desert (I assume) of El Paso Texas at some horrible-sounding music festival. My parents told me they wouldn’t be taking me unless Corey came too. So, thank you Corey for realizing what a colossal mistake it would have been to miss Italy for EPT.

We left on Tuesday, May 23rd, at 5pm to land in Rome at 7am. This is a horrible time to fly overnight and why my mom thought giving me a quarter of a 0.5 milligram Xanax dosage would suffice is unclear to me. After 8 hours of in and out naps, we landed in Rome. A family friend told me before we left that the Rome airport was the worst airport he’d ever been to. And he was right! There was absolutely NO rhyme or reason to customs there. The lines were really just crowds that zig zagged through the airport until we reached the 3 working customs officers, who barely paid attention to our passports and made us feel EXTREMELY secure. It smelled AWFUL; college kids arriving to study in Rome for the summer after an overnight flight should be required to spray themselves down before exiting the aircraft.

When we finally made it through customs, we ran to our rental car and got on the road to begin our trip: 6 nights in San Donato, Tuscany with two day trips to Florence, and finally an afternoon and evening in Rome before Corey and I fly home and my parents continue on for another week relaxing in Positano. Three hours of sleep later, my mom had driven us to the quintessential Italian village of San Donato. It was literally the most Italian place on earth. We stayed at an adorable bed and breakfast run by a woman named Maria who baked a delicious olive oil cake every day. At the corner store – where you could buy lottery tickets, limoncello, and a freshly sliced prosciutto sandwich – three old men sat outside smoking cigarettes day and night. And old ladies walked up and down the streets yelling to friends in their apartments above. The view from our rooms overlooked the many, many vineyards of Tuscany and was just gorgeous. It was all out of a movie.

We spent that first afternoon walking around the 700-person village (we’re fairly certain this is a major exaggeration of the population of this town). And we ate dinner right outside our door at La Toppa, an adorable “Michelin star” restaurant. Let me begin by saying yes, it was delicious. Especially the Ribolita, which was an important find for our family (this traditional Tuscan bread and vegetable soup was a big hit among the soup-obsessed Joskowitz clan). But what we quickly learned was every halfway decent restaurant in Italy had a sticker saying it was Michelin rated. So while it was a delicious and reliable dinner during our days in San Donato, it probably wasn’t as special as we first assumed it would be. 

On Thursday, my mother’s birthday, we spent the day in Florence with a tour guide who ushered us through our ONE day of museums for the trip. She was so sweet and not judgmental when we informed her she can leave us at Gusta Pizza for our one hour lunch break. Probably one of the most well-known dining establishments in Florence (by Americans) I was in all my glory. I think about Gusta Pizza almost daily since I first had it during my visit to Florence three years ago and it was just as good as I remembered. The spicy salami. The way the melted cheese, sauce, and olive oil meet in the middle of the uncut personal pie so you can rip off the crust and dip it into the little pool of perfection. I love it. And to make the experience even more sweet, One Direction was playing when we walked in. Meaningful.

We spent the rest of the day seeing the sights, buying leather jackets from Massimo (who probably rips off every American under the sun but no one cares) and listening to my mom talk about it being her birthday. We completed the day with an Aperol Spritz in one of the many beautiful squares in Florence and finally dinner at Trattoria Gobbi 13, home of the best cheesecake I’ve ever eaten. Many people accuse me of saying everything is the BEST or the WORST I’ve ever had/done/seen. But I can back this statement up: I literally have not eaten cheesecake since I ate it here three years ago because I no longer feel it necessary to eat a block of cream cheese knowing there is a heaping, messy pile of ricotta and crust and berries out there in the world. It’s simply THE BEST. My mom ordered mushroom fettuccini which was the highlight of the savory portion of the meal. And we got her an extremely decedent chocolate cake with a candle to celebrate her life, which we are all so thankful for. She only cried a little while we sang to her, which we were also thankful for.

We then proceeded to drive home. And by drive home I mean we drove into the city of Florence (from the outskirts where we parked) in 237407 circles because google maps kept telling us to turn the wrong way down one way streets. When we finally got out my dad and brother were fuming in the front seats while mom and I were hysterical in the back 

I should probably take a moment to mention the beauty housed in the many museums of Florence. But, the most important one, the Gucci Museum was closed. So there was that. We saw many paintings and sculptures by Michelangelo, Da Vinci, and other artists that put me to sleep while reading history books in middle school, but the David was what really struck me.

About 7 years ago my mom and I went to Paris. Like most people, we went to the Louvre to see the great Mona Lisa. Like all people, we were outraged to find that it is about the size of a post card, and preserved behind a several foot-deep glass box. The David was the opposite. It was humongous, and we could get up close enough to take a decent selfie with his penis! It was really stunning and a wonderful way to end our day of pretending to care about the different art styles of the renaissance.

On Friday we visited Siena, which Rick Steves, author of many tour books, called the best square in Italy. It was a beautiful town high up on a hill full of beautiful castles, extremely boring museums, and many opportunities to drink an Aperol Spritz! We ate crappy pizza in the square that we regretted immediately after as we should never ever have settled for a tourist trap in the town’s center. We should have been more patient and eaten somewhere off a narrow side street that would have blown our minds. But we live and we learn.

Later that night we headed further into Tuscany for a cooking class at a lovely Dutch couples’ home. Why Dutch and not Italian? No clue. Did the teacher listen when my mom emailed saying some of us don’t like cheese (dad) or seafood (dad)? Absolutely not. Did we each go home with about 57 mosquito bites? You bet. That being said, it was truly a night I’ll never forget. From holding on for dear life as we drove down windy roads with little signage, to watching my brother and father have internal breakdowns upon seeing tuna roll ups and lemon ricotta gnocchi on the menu, to getting yelled at twice for almost ruining the one saving grace of the meal, flourless chocolate cake - it was so much fun. We all participated in cooking various parts of the meal, while the teacher, an older woman, told us about her days of being a doctor all over the world, and finally settling into retirement with her husband on this insanely gorgeous farm in Tuscany, where they grow fruits and vegetables all spring, summer, and fall, and retreat to the city of Florence for the winters. Her husband popped in and out of the kitchen close-talking to each of us at one point or another. He toured us around their property to show us their chickens, olive trees, rose garden, infinity style pool, and herbs growing in the backyard. The inside of the house was completely modern, with stainless steel appliances and a marble countertop in the kitchen which was boxed in by floor to ceiling glass windows and doors. It was truly one of the most stunning properties I’ve ever seen, especially as we ate the tasteless mean during sunset.

A fun fact we learned about Tuscany is way back when, other cities didn’t like Florence, (this is the abbreviated version of history) so they didn’t deliver salt to the Tuscan region. And boy was this true! No one in the area cooked with much salt, if any, so all three dinner courses – tuna and olives wrapped in grilled zucchini, lemon ricotta gnocchi, and herb grilled turkey (extremely random, yes) – were basically tasteless. Well, the tuna tasted like olives, the gnocchi tasted like nothing, and the turkey tasted like herbs. But everything was salt-less. And if you know me, you know my love of sodium, so we struggled. Still, we obviously licked every plate clean, including the rich chocolate cake topped with homemade whipped cream and fresh raspberries. Then we spent the whole car ride home talking about how bland everything was. At least we were polite!

Saturday morning after breakfast we headed to Radda, another small town in Tuscany full of cheese and salumi shops, lined with bags of colorful pasta and pungent truffle oils. We stumbled upon a restaurant below a medieval castle, where my mom and I shared a wine tasting of 8 wines, and we all ate lunch. I was healthy and had spaghetti with fresh veggies, Corey attempted to find a spicy, salty dish in a spaghetti arrabiata but failed, and my mom had truffle ravioli. Going into this trip, the smell of truffle could ruin my meal. I live in fear of sending food back in restaurants but if my meal ever came with a touch of truffle oil I had to ask for a new one. I am a changed woman! One bite into my mom’s ravioli she was crying. This time, because it was simply the best lunch she’s ever had. And this woman eats at all the top restaurants in New York City, but said this was the best lunch she’s ever eaten. So I had to taste. And it was incredible. Mostly because it was smothered in butter, my favorite condiment, but the truffle was delicious so long as I didn’t take a huge huffing smell of it. My palate became sophisticated right before our very eyes 

We spent a little while longer walking around the tiny town, but these photos will probably never be seen because I wore a semi maxi dress with sneakers and looked extremely religious this day. My dad NEVER tells me I look bad in anything but he probably told me 12 times how weird/fat/religious I looked in this get up. It was true.

We then visited a little winery town called Volpaia where we walked uphill for maybe 2 minutes and then had to sit for an hour and drink an Aperol Spritz. When I say we are the laziest sack of shit family I do not lie. Any time during the entire trip we spent more than 4 minutes in the sun or traveled up more than one flight of steps we proceeded to sit for double that amount of time afterward.

We ended our Saturday night in San Gimignano at a family owned winery, Tenuta Torciano, for a tasting and dinner. As they usually host larger groups, we had a private tasting for 4 in a room lined with barrels of wine. The meal was absolutely delicious, which none of us were expecting. It began with a small salad with salumi and home made pecorino cheese drizzled with 30 year-aged balsamic vinegar, and was followed by grandma’s lasagna with just the right balance of meat and ricotta. My dad and brother then shared a Florentine style steak while my mother and I shared wild boar, which was the most perfect love child of pulled pork and short ribs. It was so tasty and reminded me what it’s like to taste salt. It was the best thing my father ate (he finished mine because I ate his lasagna because I am gluttonous) during our entire trip. The meal ended with vanilla gelato drizzled with the aged balsamic, which was the perfect combination 

We tasted unlimited wines, about 10 in total, and by tasted I mean my mom finished all of her tastings and most of the rest of ours. One can assume how this night ended. (tears, falling, blackout, etc.)

Sunday morning we visited another tiny medieval town (that’s basically all Tuscany/Chianti is. A cluster of wineries and tiny, steep towns with delicious treats and stunning views), Val di Pesa. Here we had lunch on the side of cliff where I had my most mediocre meal of goat cheese ravioli in a roasted red pepper sauce. Corey on the other hand had an incredible skirt steak smothered in shaved black truffles. It was so delicious and rich.

And then we traveled to an extremely modern winery right off the highway, Marchesi Antinori, which sticks out like a sore thumb in a country of old, basically ancient buildings. We took a 30-minute tour and tasted their nasty chianti (we simply do not like chianti) and sweated our asses off as we roamed the rolling property. We finally retreated to the mediocre air conditioning in our rental car and drove back to the town of San Gimignano to visit the actual town square and taste what the kind people from Tenuta Torciano told us was the best gelato in Italy. They did not disappoint! I had a cone with mint, stracciatella, and cinnamon. Random combination, yes, but each was as delicious and flavorful as the next. We stopped in many little shops to admire the cheeses and purchase a red pepper flake grinder (important). We finished our day at La Toppa next door and ordered all new things. We ate outside and had an easy, tasty last dinner in San Donato until everyone’s allergies acted up and we caused a scene with our sneezing fits and had to go back to our B&B.

Monday morning we headed back into Florence for a day of shopping and eating. We drove directly to Piazza Michelangelo, skipping the hundreds of steps required from the city, to see the breathtaking view of Firenze. It is truly the most picturesque city and we were lucky to have perfect weather every day of our time in Italy. After taking 80 pictures of the same view, we drove closer into the city and began the feeding frenzy at l‘Antico Noe, a delicious sandwich shop that I had also visited during my last trip. We each ordered a different variation of prosciutto on bread and ate them with smiles on our faces and crumbs falling out of our mouths at a small table outside. When I ate at the same table three years ago I was hit by a man on a bike and I’m happy to report this did not happen again. (I’m sure I don’t need to mention this but for anyone wondering, no I did not drop my sandwich when I fell off my chair after being hit by the bike.)

Shopping was our main goal of the day and that goal was accomplished. All 4 of us left with treats (mostly leather), some larger some smaller. And we were all happy. We also returned to Massimo where he threw in free keychains and a free wallet probably because he feels a little bad for scamming us and everyone we know whose ever gone to him (everyone we’ve ever met whose been to Florence). La Giostra was our final dinner destination. I had eaten here 3 years ago as well but was not a fan. At the time I was apparently not the champion eater I am now, and after 3 days in the city I was sick of eating. I don’t even think I ordered my own dish, but tasted a few others and was not impressed. Nonetheless, this place was recommended by both locals and friends from home so we luckily got the last reservation available. And wow did I feel like an idiot. I don’t think words were spoken once the first morsel of food hit our table. The free appetizer plate of marinated mushrooms and celery, bruschetta, mortadella and ricotta potato puffs was gone within seconds. The pecorino and pear ravioli mom and I shared was so deliciously mild and perfect. Dad tasted his 4th soup in Italy and it was by far the best. Minestrone is always a crowd pleaser but this one was smothered in herbs and veggies. And Corey had a great pappardelle Bolognese. I ordered shrimp scampi over linguini which was so buttery and perfect with fresh prawns. Mom had a filet with a balsamic glaze so thick it looked like a layer of chocolate ganache. Corey had a wildly spicy and perfect spaghetti arrabiata and dad had a lemon veal. And we cannot forget the lightly breaded and fried veggies on the side. There were literally no words spoken. Just chewing and moaning. We then walked back over the Ponte Vecchio during sunset on the way to the car and took in the last moments in this wonderful part of the world.

Tuesday morning we woke early to get to Rome, where we were flying out of. I had never been, and while my parents and Corey had, they were kind enough to hurry there so I can see the city for the 18 hours I would be there. We rushed out of the hotel upon arrival and by 1pm, after not eating all day, we were famished and got trapped again at an awful tourist spot. My favorite pasta on earth is cacio e pepe, and this dish was born in Rome. But this shitty restaurant fucked up my pasta and painted Rome in a negative light already. We then took a smelly public bus to Vatican City and St. Peters Square, which was grand and beautiful and meaningful. It was also slightly depressing with homeless and injured people everywhere, men selling water screaming at each other, and selfie sticks whacking people in the face. We left and walked down the river and over to Piazza Navoa where I had a nice afternoon Grom gelato (crema de grom – so good) and then visited the Pantheon. It was definitely beautiful but after 7 days of walking non-stop we really just sat there “admiring” to rest our feet for 20 minutes.  We finally rallied to head to the Trevi Fountain, which like the David, impressed me beyond words. It was so gorgeous and made me a little emotional thinking about how many people from all over the world visit this monument to make a simple wish. My mom and I both threw coins behind us with smiles on our faces and it was a moment I won’t forget.

We walked 30 minutes back to the hotel to rest for a bit and then headed to our last family dinner before we departed for home, and my parents to the real vacation (from us). We first had drinks at an American Pittsburgh bar, that my parents and brother had fallen in love with when they visited years ago. It was on a Soho-like cobble stone street and was lined with restaurants and bars with al fresco seating in the perfect 70-degree evening weather. We ate just across the street at a place called Saltimbocca, which is what my father ordered. He first started with cacio e pepe potatoes, which we shared as I was too traumatized to get the pasta version again. And wow, were these little fried potatoes coated in cheese and black pepper PERFECTION. My mom got a heaping pile of fried anchovies, and Corey got an even bigger heaping pile of fried calamari and prawns. We easily could have been full after our appetizers, but Corey ordered a monstrous amount of miscellaneous seafood linguini, which came steamed in a foil swan, my mom ordered rigatoni puttanestca, and I ordered eggplant parm. All three were incredible. My eggplant was perfectly cooked and mushy and smothered in tasty bright red sauce. Of course I shared this with my dad, who never turns down a few bites of anything parm.

Now as I write this from the plane Wednesday morning, I cant help but feel not emotional, but complete. My family is close. Extremely close, really. But with Corey at school and me in the city and my parents having a very busy social life that barely includes me (I’m not bitter), it was so special to have this week together with no interruptions. We discussed on several occasions how amazing it is that we are older now and can travel without whining (too much) or crying (only mom) or needing to be carried (though dad probably would have preferred to be held). We all appreciate the beauty of exploring a place we’ve never been. We all drink semi-responsibly and can enjoy an al fresco cocktail together every night. We all truly enjoy food and have intelligent commentary to make about each dish. And most importantly, we all like each other. So much. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned it’s pretty rare to have all members of an immediate family enjoy each other’s company, but we do. There is no one I’d rather travel anywhere with (except probably Vegas, dad can keep that boys trip to himself every year) and not just because I didn’t take out my credit card the entire time I was there. I am incredibly grateful to have this relationship with my family and hope they know how much I appreciate their love, support, money, and willingness to let me con Corey and I’s way onto this adventure.

Ciao again for now!

Dylan

P.S. A few random thoughts from our trip

- Bread in Tuscany is ASS. The no salt comes back into play here and the bread is truly inedible. I am grateful for this fact or I’d probably be 50 pounds heavier than when I left

- They don’t put screens on windows in Italy, so cue the infinite mosquito bites I got while inside the bed and breakfast

- Bed and breakfasts really are as cute as they seem in movies. Maria put out a wonderful breakfast spread of ham and cheese and croissants and fresh fruit and tomatoes and fresh juices every morning. She would also visit the breakfast room periodically to help people map out their days and give recommendations of where to visit. Aww!

- Chianti is disgusting and I give up on driving to enjoy it. Super Tuscan is a red I can work with. But if we ever do a wine-centric trip again, I hope we’ll be going to France for whites.

- I know on 34th street and other tourist spots in NYC there are people hocking you to buy tour tickets or souvenirs. But goddamn, is it a million times worse in Rome. People literally walked up to us at every meal shoving stuffed animals or flowers in our faces and just stared at us as if this would be a successful sales tactic. It was just too much.

- Portable Wi-Fi is the most important invention of the 21st century. On a scale of 1-10 this family as a whole is at about a 3 when it comes to reading maps. Having google maps was so vital to our happiness and livelihood. Amen.

- Regular Coke (and Fanta) from a can in Europe is just so delicious and makes soda at home taste even more toxic than we already know it is

- Every single person we met in Italy was kind and helpful and knew at least a bit of English which was obviously incredibly helpful and appreciated

- This trip was my parents first time in Florence. Yet when we walked in to Massimo leather he went up to my dad “AH YES! I remember you my friend! Tell me your name! You send friends to me!” We played along and got the “friends and family discount” but it’s important the world know the Massimo is just the best salesmen we’ve ever met.

- Finally, overall thoughts on the places I visited are as followed: Florence is incredible. Tuscany is stunning and full of endless little villages to visit and taste. Rome is kind of gross and dirty and overwhelming and their airport is bullshit.

[superfitbabe]

BOY OHHHHHHHHH BOY. What. A. Day. I can already say that I probably ate the same amount of fat this day that I usually consume within a week’s span at college. See, that’s the benefit of living in college–you’re forced to stick to the healthy basic staples, you walk everywhere, you live on a budget, and you pretty much are on top of your game because you’re restricted from all the crazy vegan junk food options! Well, let me iterate that every bite was absolutely worth it!

If you have never heard of this event, the Vegan Street Fair is basically a hugely food-filled and outdoor walk loaded with vendors of all kinds of vegan restaurant chains, vegan brands, influencers, companies, online foods, and food trucks! There are three each year–one in North Hollywood during the spring, one in New York during the summer, and a night fair in North Hollywood during the fall! This year, I attended the fair on March 25th, and I had the time of my life. I cannot wait to be sharing my fully loaded recap of this crazy day with all of you, so let’s get started!

First off, I had to stop by Vegetaryn’s booth to greet Taryn herself, Jasmine of sweetsimplevegan, and Amanda from applesandamandas! They’re all such sweethearts who have inspired me to hop on this vegan journey myself! (P.S. check out Vegetaryn’s site where I got my If Looks Could Kale shirt from a few posts ago!!)

Next up, Yvonne’s Vegan Kitchen! I encountered Yvonne’s blog The Eclectic Kitchen a long time ago in my Instagram journey, and her culinary skills are absolutely phenomenal. She has the most beautiful feed, cookbook, and slew of recipes that will make you HUNGRY and put any Food Network recipe to shame. I ended up buying a chocolate chai cookie that was completely gluten free and made from garbanzo bean flour!

Okay, I contemplated posting about this next dish because looks are deceiving. Now I thought that vegan chicken tikka masala sounded delicious, so I waited a good ten minutes in the line of the Pooja’s Cuisine of India booth to purchase a combo of vegan chicken tikka masala, saag curry, rice and garlic naan. Probably the WORST curry I’ve ever tasted. The saag was salty, nothing like authentic Indian saag, and the tikka masala sauce was watery, bland, and I got five teeeeeeeeny tiny chicken pieces. So yeah, 3 out of 10.

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Anyhow, by that time, I ran into a couple of my vegan Instagram friends, one of them being at the Yoga-Urt booth! While we waited for our soft serve, I hopped across to Cruciferous L.A.’s booth and got a General Tso’s Brussel sprouts sampler of battered Brussel sprouts with the most delicious sauce, chiles, and raw cabbage underneath! Definitely made up for the horror of the Indian food combination that I had earlier, and most certainly prompted me to find a General Tso’s bottle next time I go grocery shopping!

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While waiting in line at Yoga-Urt, my friend Cory and I also encountered of the VeganFatKid! If you don’t know who he is, he’s basically the king of vegan restaurant hopping! I swear, you’ll be inspired to visit all of the best vegan places in L.A. thanks to his feed! I was a little too shy to ask for a picture, but being the sweetheart he is, Cory asked him for me, so we all got to take a photo together! After sampling a couple flavors, we ordered our soft serve in mini cups! Cory got the salted caramel serve and I chose the golden milk rose flavor made with turmeric! Swear to the vegan ice cream gods, this was HEAVENLY. No, BOTH WERE!

I quickly stopped by AFC Soy Foods to taste some mini fried tofu poppers and chose to garnish chipotle barbecue sauce as well. So I absolutely LOVE tofu–heck it’s one of my top three favorite foods–but it’s easy to mess up. Luckily, I adored every single bite of these tofu poppers with the crunchiness on the outside, the softness of the tofu flesh, and the sweet n’ salty and spicy barbecue sauce created the perfect medley of texture and flavors! This was probably one of my favorite samplers yet!

Next was a pit stop of a bakery I’ve never heard of until I actually saw people with these cute little dessert kabobs of gorgeous mini cupcakes stacked on top of one another. I asked a few girls where I could find them, and they pointed to Baby Love Sweetery! I ended up picking a three-cupcake kabob with a unicorn dreams cupcake, a GF churros n’ creme cake, and a GF chocolate salted caramel cake! All three cakes were to die for each in their own way, so it was so hard to pick a favorite! The GF cupcakes were gummier in texture and the unicorn dreams cake was soft and bready like any other perfect cupcake. Delicious! I ended up reuniting with my Instagram friend Cindy who came to join us in the food-ventures! How incredible is that?!

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Three words to describe the next stop: Sweet. Fried. Deliciousness. If you live somewhere with a Donut Friend, then you know what I mean. Cindy got the Strawberry Lab donut filled with strawberries and whipped cream, Cory ordered the mini Compassion Fruit donut, and I picked the Cinnamineral donut! All of these donuts were incredible, but the Cinnamineral has such a quality taste that reminded me of my favorite breakfasts. Guess you could say that I was unfairly biased. Regardless, it was one of the best unhealthy donuts I’ve had in such a long time–sometimes the real deal just blows everything away!

As a detox from those dangerously delicious donuts, we stopped by Ab Sorbets because we were too intrigued by everyone else’s sorbets that we’re served in lemon and orange peels! Cory got the guava sorbet, Cindy picked the peach sorbet, and I decided on the strawberry flavor! Usually I’m more of a dessert-flavor person, but I was absolutely blown away by how creamy, soft, naturally sweet and delectable this was! By far this was one of my favorite treats of the entire trip!

The second to last stop was Treats by B, a vegan bakery that had a spinning wheel with different options to possibly get! I ended up getting the free mystery prize, which was a mini banana bread loaf with walnuts in the cutest bag! The loaf itself was perfectly mild, sweet, crunchy from the walnuts, soft, and aromatic from the bananas! I could resist sharing a couple of pieces with Cindy and Cory, and they seriously loved it as well! I’m certainly finding a way to recreate this recipe back at home!

Finally, I quickly peeked at the Orgain vendor to try out their chocolate nutritional protein shake because I was incredibly parched! Of course, it didn’t disappoint. The shake’s silky and rich texture resembled that of chocolate milk–it was divine! The extra protein was an added benefit as well!

While walking back to where my dad would pick me up, we spotted two somewhat familiar faces from YouTube: Anji and Ryan from HappyHealthyVegan! While I am not subscribed to them, I have seen them in others’ videos, and Cory and Cindy were both fans and friends with them.We ended up taking some cool photos and had an amazing encounter. The couple is so sweet!

To wrap things up, I honestly felt so liberated and open to everything. I said hi to everyone with a friendly face and ate whatever the heck I wanted. Years ago, whenever I’d walk into a convention, I wouldn’t pass on anything that seemed appealing, but I did have an estimate of calories looming in my head to make sure I didn’t “overdo” anything. However, with these kinds of events, it’s a bit of a burden to have to think about the numbers that go into your mouth.

As long as you’re listening to your body–which I absolutely did–then that’s all that matters. Sure, I had a shizzle ton of fat and sugar, but I also healed myself mentally because I said yes to almost everything that I’d avoid in the past. Come on. Nobody would pass on that cupcake kabob anyways.

Vegan Street Fair 2017 BOY OHHHHHHHHH BOY. What. A. Day. I can already say that I probably ate the same amount of fat this day that I usually consume within a week's span at college.

[its-lifestyle]

At 2.30pm on a sunny Friday afternoon, most eateries are likely to be experiencing a lull – that sweet moment when only a few diners remain after a frenetic lunch service.

At this point, servers might be languidly clearing the scattered detritus of meals left on tables, as the kitchen team takes a well-deserved break.

But at Nourish by Kenny Hills Bakers, no such thing is apparent. Instead, the eatery swells with a teeming mass of people, and new entrants to the restaurant frantically scan the space, hoping they can bag a table.

It’s a strange dichotomy – a packed-to-the-gills restaurant on a late weekday afternoon, but the eatery has clearly cast a spell on the neighbourhood.

Nourish is the brainchild of the same people behind the hugely popular Kenny Hills Bakers, the only difference being that in this outlet, owner Au Tai Hon has roped in his enterprising daughter Tzi Hua Au, who serves as the restaurant manager.

“I was in advertising for two years but as my dad’s business expanded, I thought it was about time that I step into the family business to help out. So now I’m full-time here at Nourish,” she says.

Tzi (second from left) decided to become more involved in the family business and now serves as the manager of Nourish.

Nourish came about because both Tzi and Au noticed that many customers at Kenny Hills Bakers (which makes delicious pastries and cakes) were hankering after gluten-free cakes and pastries.

Initially Tzi (who has some experience making gluten-free fare) started baking from home and supplying to Kenny Hills Bakers, but when the family discovered the already-designed restaurant space in Damansara Heights, they knew the time was ripe to embark on something new.

“It reminded us of the cafes in London where the sun shines through and you can see all the plates of food, so that’s how the concept came about and that’s why we have plates of salads on display in front.

“So we thought what better way to complement this than with gluten-free and refined-sugar free bakes, which a lot of people don’t really offer. And we think that the demand is getting higher for that,” says Tzi, who is also responsible for teaching the staff the intricacies of gluten-free baked treats.

The eatery is bright and cheerful and exudes an instant charm.

Most of the meals at Nourish are made using primarily organic produce (about 60% organic) under the watchful eye of Tzi, who shares her father’s fastidiousness and philosophy about the benefits of making things well.

“Here, all the gluten-free cakes are made in-house because we can’t cross-contaminate. And we try and make everything from scratch – everything that we can make, we will make,” she says.

To fully enjoy a meal at Nourish, pace yourself and experience it in chapters, because trust me, you’ll want to make repeat visits.

If you’re here in the morning for example, you might want a sample of the breakfast menu, served from 8am to 12pm daily. You could opt for the gluten-free toast with house stone-ground peanut butter and berry compote (RM16).

Nourish’s homemade peanut butter is a thick, chunky affair pockmarked with nuts that is enough to make you say (out loud, in my case) – “OMG, what witchery is this?” as you submit yourself to the pleasures of this simple treat.

The roasted pumpkin with goat’s cheese, spinach and tomatoes quiche is so good that you won’t want to share it with anyone.

From the pies and tarts on offer (all made using gluten-free crusts), opt for the quiche of the day, which if you’re lucky, might just be the roasted pumpkin with goat’s cheese, spinach and tomatoes (RM22) served with a salad.

This beguiling temptress is a fantastic example of multiple ingredients coalescing together to form a mouth-watering partnership – from the sweetness of the pumpkins to the salty overtures of the goat’s cheese, everything meshes harmoniously.

The thread that binds everything together is the gluten-free crust – which has a firm bite but gives way easily once prodded.

The salad on the side – the harissa roasted aubergine with pomegranate, sesame seeds and dukkah is a surprisingly filling affair that features tenderly yielding slices of aubergine and a quietly lingering spice element.

The roasted chicken with percik sauce is really, really good as is the tropical salad served on the side.

For an afternoon meal, served from 11am to 5pm daily, there is a litany of things to try. The eatery’s salads are an option for those after light meals, but you can also opt to have your cake and eat it too, as all the main meals are served with a salad.

The classic roast chicken (RM34) with percik sauce features tender chicken blanketed by a rich percik sauce that is spectacularly good – creamy, fiery, piquant and incredibly well-balanced.

The salad on the side is composed of young mango, apple, walnuts, torch ginger buds and a homemade coconut mayonnaise and is an addictively good, tropical mixture evocative of kerabu.

The hearty corn bread and chilli.

The hearty corn bread and chilli (RM35) is made up of house-made corn bread, spiced mixed bean chilli, smashed avocado, sour cream and a poached egg. Although it sounds promising in theory, the corn bread is quite dry and this has a domino effect that effectively renders all the other components less appealing.

Perhaps the absolute best thing on the lunch menu is the crab cakes (RM34). Here, a crispy exterior gives way to an interior that is just brimming with plump tufts of crab meat, its natural sweetness lending a lovely aquatic quality to the meal.

The crab cakes are plump little balls packed full of crab meat.

The salad on the side – in this case, the baby spinach, pumpkin and beetroot with balsamic vinegar and fresh herbs makes for a perfect complement, with fresh, earthy qualities shining through.

The eatery also has daily specials, like the stuffed boneless quail with spinach and cream cheese (RM30). Here, the quail retains a juicy quality that is supplemented by the creaminess of the cheese and spinach stuffed into its hollow.

As a result, each mouthful glides down the throat effortlessly, almost like a child whooshing down a water chute.

Nourish also does a great job of nourishing parched throats, with a selection of homemade beverages like turmeric latte (RM13), sweet potato latte (RM15) and matcha latte (RM13).

The first of the trio and the most trendy of the lot – the turmeric latte – boasts a potent hit of turmeric that becomes quite endearing the more you drink it.

The sweet potato latte on the other hand is an instant charmer, with sweet, root vegetable notes undulating throughout; while the house-made matcha latte has a charcoal-esque undertone that is strangely pleasant.

Of course, you can’t possibly leave a place with such a wide selection of gluten-free cakes without actually trying any of them. Which is why you ought to sample the orange polenta cake (RM15).

Here, orange flavours form the building blocks of this dessert, perfuming the entire dish with freshness and zest. The cake itself is tender although some mouthfuls might yield tiny, gritty polenta granules.

The pecan pie (RM16) meanwhile is one of those hedonistic delights that you’ll find yourself easily falling in love with. Here, pecans are studded in a kaleidoscopic pattern across the surface of this pie, which is lightly sweet without being overbearing.

Ultimately, Tzi says she hopes that Nourish will become a place that people with gluten intolerances (and those looking for gluten-free options) can come to, knowing that there will be a wide array of things for them to eat.

“It’s been very nice to give back to people who don’t have many eating options. Like a customer came in and said she hadn’t had a pie in two years!

“And the sad thing is a lot of people with celiac disease or gluten intolerances don’t get pastries in general unless they make it themselves. And a lot of them don’t have the time or the skill to make it themselves, so this is a very good place for them to get all these products,” she says.

Nourish by Kenny Hills Bakers No 35, Jalan Medan Setia 1 Damansara Heights 50490 Kuala Lumpur Tel: 03-2011 6990 Open daily: 8am to 6pm

from Food – Star2.com http://bit.ly/30Mlaq8