#My brain was properly functioning today for being able to write so much omg haha ♥️

[tarjapearce]

Lips anon! 👀 👀 👀 Miguel is such a yummy spicy daddy I'd slurp him up like menudo. Him being protective daddy is 😩

I imagine Gabi to be an excellent team player, but like her Papa she will throw a fit at losing lol

Not like a kid fit, literally just throwing and kicking trash while cursing in Spanish while Mama is trying to calm her down. Miguel is both horrorified but also on the verge of dying of laughter, especially with Mama glaring some holes into him lol

"Gabi" you called but she ignored you. Hands crossed on her chest as she kicked the poor rock that happened to be in her way.

Despite her dad sticking up to her to that mean man that always gave her a disgusted stare, her team lost last minute due a self-score a teammate of her did. Victor.

"Le dije a ese tonto que me pasara el balón!" (I told that dummy to pass me the ball!)

She pinched her nose bridge and then threw her arms up dramatically. It was like witnessing a mini Miguel throwing a tantrum

"Next week you will do better, baby" you offered as you tried to embrace her.

"No! Mama! Lo habíamos planeado! pero el pendejo de Víctor lo arruinó" (We had it all planned, but stupid ass' Victor messed it up)

Both Miguel and you stopped dead in your tracks. Horror struck your face at the foul word that flew out of your daughter's lip.

"Gabriela..." Miguel warned and she only frowned as tears menaced to flow on her eyes. You kneeled next to her and cupped her cheeks.

"I know this game was important to you, and you spent alot of time practicing, but that language isn't allowed for you, mi amor. Would you like to go to get some pizza?"

She sniffed and shook her head. Miguel kneeled and cupped her flushed in anger cheeks instead, as fat tears rolled quietly on her face.

"Solecito, mírame" (Look at me, Sunshine)

She did in between blurred eyes, hiccuping as she cried.

"You did your best, okay? You were great. Sometimes things just don't go as planned and that's okay too."

"Es que son tan estúpidos y lentos!" (They're just so stupid and slow)

Miguel just hugged her and carried her in his arms, letting the meltdown cool down. He couldn't help but bite his lip, trying to keep the laughter at bay as you glared holes into him.

He didn't know if he was proud or terrified for Gabi to be a a copycat of his character. And he of course wouldn't hear the end of it when you got back home.

[llonelywater]

it is 1130pm and i have officially finished my entire surgical track. my entire surgical track!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

because i am still a massive loser i woke up multiple times again this morning and then had diarrhoea before setting off to cgh HAHAHAH omg it’s turning into some pre-clinicals ritual zzz. 

anw! ever since the final bell rang today ive just been floating around in a daze. was initially just super relieved but as the day crept on i kept thinking about little mistakes here and there that i made, or answers that couldve been better worded.... and then i want to slap myself like wtf! linz!!!! that is just super greedy!!!!! can you please be thankful!!!!!!!! and i am thankful for: 

1. a decent historian who - while frustratingly adamant on not giving out the diagnosis at the beginning - was beautifully primed and gave me a history that was not tortuous, not misleading, and not complex... a cold case with a clear timeline!! how fortunate is that!!! 

2. it was an approach to IO!!! IO!!!!! not mouth lump that i feared hahahaha

3. the underlying diagnosis was sigmoid CA!!! not haemorrhoids hahaha. again, how lucky is that!!!

4. the super lovely MO who kept smiling at me and nodding every single time i said something correct, and who put everything including reference ranges in a nice ppt slide for me 

5. the passive examiner who was also smiling and nodding throughout

6. the stern looking examiner who - even though he looked so fierce initially hahahaha saw him the first thing before entering the room omg almost lost my will to live within the 0.1s - asked me very fair questions and who guided me when i was going the wrong way and pushed me within reasonable limits when he thought i could give him better answers 

7. and at the end!!!! when the bell rang!!!!!!! the active examiner just broke into this HUGE smile like i really thought i was hallucinating bc it was such a drastic change from the straight face he’d been wearing for the past 35 min and he said well done, well done. and then the passive and MO turned to me and smiled too and said, well done. omg i nearly cried and fainted on the spot cos i was so relieved 

tbh.... at first while thinking over the case throughout the day i was a little sad that i didnt do everything 10000% PERFECTLY. like oh i forgot to rule out hypothyroidism. or oh shucks during the presentation i forgot to talk about these important negatives or the fact that the pt was on chemo. and not answering a question properly bc i misheard the examiner when i knew the answer to the question (like rly wouldve been 90s of verbal diarrhoea on tpn vs parenteral feeding...) but then i was like... nobody shortchanged me but myself. so there is really no point AT ALL feeling upset about it. the patient was a superb historian (if probed in the correct direction haha) and the examiners asked very, very fair questions. so every every mistake is mine; it’s my fault for not listening carefully, for not practicing enough, for being stressed out under exam conditions. bc an exam doesnt just test your theoretical knowledge... almost everyone will be able to think about hypothyroidism as a cause of IO if given enough time while being in the right environment. but true skill is thinking about something as forgettable as hypothyroidism amidst the stressful exam situation, in the middle of the most important surgical case of your life, and applying it within the tight time constraints. am i good enough to do that? probably not. so i concede the mark and i should do so without a grudge! 

so much mindless rambling above haha. but i just wanted to write it down to remind myself again that results arent everything!! yesterday while cramming last min info v distractedly i thought to myself, i hope that i will be able to enter the exam tomorrow with my ex-patients in mind. like mdm r and mdm t and mr k and... all of them haha. every last patient who taught me one thing or another. i rmb while practicing for shorts with jt we’d keep forgetting to thank each other at the end haha and fretting that we’d lose the professionalism marks. but then i was like... actually when you really see a patient it’s quite intuitive that you would wanna thank them after right! and we’d shrugged and laughed. but it’s really true. like i can forget to do the simplest things or say the stupidest things in the exam hall but ive not forgotten to thank a single patient since mbbs started... because it comes naturally always. cannot count on my brain to be functional all the time haha. but can always count on my gratitude to be true.