#My brain reading reacting bad: this means i canwrite angst right?

[fandom-necromancer]

021. ‘I miss the way things used to be.’

This was prompted by an awesome anon! I think my brain gobbled up your awkward and replaced it with angsty. I tried to put it back in the end, though. I hope you like it!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Background Hannor) | AU: Hanahaki (Warnings: blood and a little bit of body horror, but nothing unusual for Hanahaki)

Nines looked himself over in the mirror, picking up a few loose petals and putting them in the bin to join the rest. Then he picked up the paper towels laying around and wiped the Thirium off his lips and torso. Then he put his shirt back on and straightened his high collar. Checking his perfect appearance one last time and pushing his hair back out of habit, the android left the bathroom for the break room. He scowled as he found it filled with people. Connor stood at the coffee machine and Gavin stood at the high table sipping his. Nines swallowed as he felt his already low Thirium levels from the pruning drop further upon seeing the man. He hurried over to the counter they stored their Thirium supplies in and took a bottle, drinking it deliberately slow to mask just how much he needed it.

‘Another refill, tin-can?’, Gavin asked. ‘Advanced model’, Nines answered matter-of-factly. ‘I need more than others.’ ‘Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Just be back on time, okay? We have a job to do.’ ‘Says the right one’, Nines muttered, getting back to refilling his Thirium. Gavin chuckled at that and Connor turned around to them. ‘You should really tell him, Nines’, he said, worry evident in his voice. ‘Tell me what?’, the Detective wanted to know. Of course, he had overheard Connor. Nines could send Connor into forced stasis for that comment alone. The RK900 stepped away from Connor, looked Gavin in the eye and, with more force than necessary, he spat: ‘I should tell you to fuck off!’

Gavin flinched, looked up at the android and straightened. ‘Okay, fine, I’m going. Jeez, someone is pissed, I see.’ But as he was about to go, Connor jumped and held him back by the hood of his pullover. Gavin yelped, as the RK800 pulled him back into the break room and towards Nines. ‘This is not what I meant and you know this, don’t have me do this!’ But Nines stayed silent. ‘Don’t do what?’, Gavin asked, completely confused now. ‘Guys, I don’t wanna be part of your weird android-brother issues, okay? Let me just go and I pretend to never have heard-’ ‘Nines has Hanahaki’, Connor interrupted and earned himself a dangerous growl from the android in question.

Gavin frowned, then laughed. ‘Good one, plastic puppy! That’s impossible.’ ‘It is’, Connor held against it. ‘Nines, show him!’ ‘I won’t do anything and this will have consequences, you-‘ Connor moved towards him and pushed into the other android’s neck. Nines speech cut out as the compartment opened for maintenance. It was stopped halfway by his collar, but the latch was opened enough to let some white flowers show on the inside.

Gavin stared at it, then up to the android, whose LED was a hot burning red. Connor knew then that he had pushed to far, as Nines fist collided with his face and send him back against the table. Then the RK900 pushed the compartment back into place and brushed off his collar. ‘Don’t ever touch me again, or I will aim somewhere more vital, Connor. I love you, brother, but I also won’t hesitate.’ ‘So, this is the real thing?’, Gavin asked. ‘Yes. But it isn’t like in humans. It won’t kill me. It just grows when I’m around this person as an extension of my thirium system. It drains my Thirium levels. But regular pruning and it doesn’t impair my functionality at all.’ ‘So, you are basically a walking talking flowerpot?’, Gavin wheezed. ‘That is not funny!’, Connor cut in between. ‘It is a serious condition!’ ‘It is not’, Nines disagreed. ‘I won’t die.’ ‘That doesn’t mean it’s healthy!’, Connor reminded him.

But Gavin had lost it already. ‘You phcking asshole’, he laughed. ‘The all high and mighty Nines has fallen in love, but boohoo, their chosen one is not returning the favour. That’s fucking funny. Karma is a bitch, I guess. Maybe you should have been more open with your feelings and less uptight all the time.’ ‘Gavin, this is not helping!’, Connor shouted at the man. A simple scan told Connor despite the refill Nines’ Thirium levels were plummeting again. ‘Oh, bite me, Connor!’, Gavin screamed back. ‘The fucking tin-can got what he deserves! Always so certain androids are superior and speaking like a dictionary on legs. Always looking down on humans because they are “complete slaves to their feelings”! That’s what he gets now.’ Nines slumped back against the counter, holding himself upright on it. He felt his Thirium being literally sucked out of his system by the plant that was growing and had already surpassed the stage it had before the pruning a few minutes ago. He coughed and wiped away the Thirium dropping from his lips. ‘Gavin.’ The plant had reached his voice box and he doubted the man had heard him. He couldn’t die from it, he reminded himself and that at least let his panic subside. The worst would be induced stasis because of the Thirium drain. Whatever cruelties the Detective uttered could accelerate the growth and push him into stasis. That was all. That was all.

‘Maybe, if there was one nice thing about you, you were actually loveable! But no one could love a heartless, cold machine!’ Nines couldn’t move. The plant had taken over his joints and filled out his hollow parts to the brim. He forced his mouth shut not to lose all dignity. Instead he opened his chest to alleviate the growing pressure in his chest, ripping his spotless shirt. He coughed again, spilling flowers and Thirium, before falling on the ground and inducing stasis. ‘Gavin, fuck off to your desk and shut your goddamn mouth!’, Connor screamed, and Nines would have smiled at his brother cursing. But that was the last thing he heard before stasis and his lips were immovable.

-

As he was reactivated, he lied on a couch and analysing the pattern of the ceiling he was in Hank’s home. He sighed and sat up. Immediately Connor was next to him. ‘I’m sorry, Nines, I shouldn’t have pressed things.’ Nines scanned his systems. Connor had cut the plant back and refilled his Thirium. ‘You were only worrying for me. I’m sorry I punched you.’ ‘No, I shouldn’t have. And I deserved that. I have no rights to open your ports without your consent.’ ‘Stop taking the blame for everything!’, Nines insisted, raising his voice. ‘It is my fault for loving this idiot. But don’t worry, I will just suffer through it. You can learn to unlove someone, it just needs time. I thought it would be easy to hate him, but apparently hate doesn’t cancel out love.’

‘I just worry for you, Nines. Everyone deserves to find someone if they want it.’ ‘I don’t know if I still want it’, Nines muttered. ‘I wanted it a few weeks back. We are a good team and I saw glimpses of a heart of gold under all this tar he bathes in. When I saw you and Hank, I thought it would be nice to have something like that. But after yesterday… Maybe I fantasised too much.’ ‘Nines, I-‘

It rang at the door and both looked up. ‘I’m going!’, Hank called from somewhere deeper in the house and hurried past them. He opened the door, and there was a beat of silence. ‘No, not you! Fuck off, you did enough already!’ Nines turned around to the door. Then he stood up and followed his hunch. He appeared in the doorframe next to Hank and looked down on the man standing on the porch. ‘Err… Hi, Nines.’ Immediately the android’s Thirium levels sunk a bit. ‘Nines, I can-‘, Hank began, but the android just pushed forwards. ‘Thank you Hank, I think I will manage. Please, leave us alone.’ The man grumbled something, but left for the living room.

‘What do you want?’, Nines asked coldly. ‘I… Err… What do I want? I… Phck! Apologize! I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have made fun of you.’ ‘No, you shouldn’t have.’ ‘Yes!’ Gavin looked like he felt guilty. He was reasonably bad at apologizing too. He meant it. A fake apology would have gone far smoother. ’Yes, I know, I’m a huge asshole.’ ‘That’s true, too.’ ‘So, everything alright?’ It sounded so damn hopeful. ‘No’, Nines destroyed that illusion. ‘No. Not after what you told me today. That was cruel and unnecessary.’ ‘Listen, okay, this whole thing was completely wrong! I reacted shitty. I’m sorry. Can’t we just go back to before this whole thing?’ ‘I miss the way things used to be, too’, Nines said. ‘But you won’t forget I’m in love with you and I can’t forget you telling me I were a heartless, cold machine.’ ‘Wait. Wait, wait, wait! You are in love with me?’ Gavin looked shocked. ‘Yes. I thought that was obvious with how I reacted to your words.’

‘Holy shit.’ Nines didn’t know what to say, so he kept his mouth shut. ‘No shit? You really love me?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Yeah, I didn’t believe it either’, Connor shouted from inside the house and Nines grinded his teeth, stepping out and pulling the door close behind him. ‘What… What could you possibly love about me?’, Gavin asked then. The android walked towards the stairs and sat down. ‘You are intelligent, you are funny, as long as I’m not subject to those jokes and very fascinating in your efforts to self-destruct.’ ‘Okay…’ Gavin spoke, pulling each sound and sitting down next to Nines. ‘Not what I would call attributes to love…’ ‘But not un-loveable’, Nines muttered. ‘Other than me apparently.’

Gavin brushed his thumbs against each other. Shit, this was awkward. ‘One could love your sense of clothing’, he tried to think of something. ‘It’s nice.’ ‘It’s Cyberlife clothing. The uniform, just without the markings.’ ‘But it looks good on you. Also… You are intimidating and throw a punch like no other.’ ‘That’s not something “nice” about me, as you put it.’ ‘Hey, as long as it’s not directed at me…’ Nines chuckled at that.

‘Listen, it had been some time since I last thought of anyone taking a liking to me’, Gavin explained, looking back at the house. ‘And I hope your weird brother is not listening right now, because shit’s personal. I accepted being alone. And I treat everyone like shit to make sure I never get that close to anyone again. But…’ He tentatively laid a hand on Nines’. ‘Maybe I could learn to love again?’ Nines looked at Gavin’s hand and shifted his to hold the human’s. ‘We can try. You to love and me to be loveable.’ ‘Sounds good.’