#My biggest fears is that I'll feel used or develop more feelings. I think i have the feelings under control. I obviously like him already
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mrfoox · 2 years ago
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Ok over an hour later and no im still a mess...
#miranda talking shit#I know i wont find an answer today bc i need time to weight pros and cons etc but like... My mind really is all over#Do i have the right to set some kind of rules? He's more experienced than me and this was his idea. Meanwhile im a virgin and basically not#Done much at all... Would it be crazy if i set some rules or boundaries anf what would those be? The obvious is. If i say im uncomfortable#It stops. That goes for him too. But idk if i can demand more and what it would be? I at one hand cant see myself setting the pace#Bc im so anxious and shy... Plus i wonder if theres anything one can do about ... Me feelinh potentially used? I dont know#Thats a worry for me. That he'll just want to f me and then hes gone. He said he wouldn't bc he cares about me#But its a worry? But how would that... Work... He have to give me a hug before he leaves? Would that be stupid idk.#My biggest fears is that I'll feel used or develop more feelings. I think i have the feelings under control. I obviously like him already#But if we do this we would go in with those expectations. Id not expect him to love me like that... I feel like i should for my own saftey#Set up some ttpe of rules to prevent me being hurt but i have no experience so i cant say what a rule would be stupid and what would be#Helpful/reasonable? I also know. We wont go all the way any time soon. He said that to me that he knows that im still a virgin#And he would not want to be the one to take it if i wasnt completely comfortable with it. He knows that if we do iy it'll be very#Well... Mild for a long time unless always. I know anyone who knows me will most likely scream and tell me not to... But also more than 50%#Of me really wants to... I feel like if this is a mistake? He'll be the best person I'd be able to do that mistake with? Does that make#Any sense? Because i trust him and like him and i feel like he does the same for me... I feel he would listen to me and respect me and not#Force me or push himself on me? And im definitely curious... Like yeah... And id kinda want to get some more experience... And gasp#Have fun??? Like when we discussed this even i laughed. He made me laugh during this. So i was obviously comfortable enough to do that#I guess this is an brain vs heart thing... Am i stupid and selfish for wanting this bc it'll potentially feel good and I'll feel wanted?#Maybe. Probably. But also... I can not think of any mistake like this ive ever made in my life. I havent allowed myself to do stupid shit#Ive not gotten stupid wasted or done something like that in my teens... This feels. If it'll hurt I'll learn from it and not be scarred#Forever? But i dont know. I think big part is that its new and exciting and all that and i want something like that... I want to feel#Something like that.... At least for a while as long as its actually fun...#Any advice or thoughts please do share. I know i sound naive and stupid bc i am honestly... But is that only a bad thing?#Idk genuinely so... Any thoughts I'll take anything. Or questions or any own experience i just need some others views
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0310s · 2 months ago
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members: leehan x gender neutral reader
genre: fluff, neighbors au
wc: 0.7k (blurb for an incoming oneshot!)
tw: insects
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imagine leehan as your next-door neighbor when you move in your new unit. a month passes by and you develop a amicable relationship with him. your first, distant impression of him as the guy with a fish tank in his apartment slowly evolves into a positive one. while you wouldn't exactly say you trust him with your life, you can definitely rely on him for spare ingredients.
except the former gets put to the test pretty early—which leads to your current predicament. you've pressed yourself against the corner of your apartment, heart beating a mile a minute. you can feel a headache gradually growing as you attempt to figure out your next move. you have two choices:
plan a: you hunt down the wicked creature and dispatch of it as it casts its final breath, or
plan b: you pack up everything you own and move to the next city.
of course, you know deep down inside you would never carry out plan a—because cockroaches are your biggest fear. butterflies? their wings are pretty. millipedes? watching them slowly crawl their way from point a to b is cute. bees? even more adorable, and you're in awe of their power to sustain the ecosystem. but cockroaches? for the love of all that is holy, no. you would rather skydive than be in the same room as one. you've resolved to believe that, truly, not all insects are created equal (and roaches belong in hell).
but before you can even start shoving all your belongings into your luggage to make a run for it, a knock sounds at your door. not knowing who it is, you slowly creep towards the entrance, keeping your back to the wall in case the vile creature decides to make a run for you. once you're there, you call out, "who's there?" you try to sound unaffected, but the waver in your voice is obvious.
"it's me," the person on the other side of the door responds in a low, melodious voice. leehan! you thrust the door open and without thinking, you quickly circle him and use him as your shield. your neighbor makes a questioning hum, and you realize how rude you're being. still, you can't find it in yourself to face him like normal.
"what's this?" leehan asks amusedly, referring to your abrupt, awkward position. as he makes a move to turn around, you grip the back of his shirt with both hands.
"no!" at this, he pauses. instead, he tilts his head to look back at you, and you start rambling. "there's. a cockroach in my apartment. it's actually huge, monstrous even, like the size of my palm. i didn't know they could grow to be that big. or maybe it's an anomaly and it's actually evil and is strategizing to take me out for good. can you kill it please leehan. please, oh god."
at the end of your tirade, leehan is making a pensive sound. "so... you're scared of cockroaches?"
"was it not obvious enough!? yes, yes, yes a thousand times. please, leehan, this is literally so embarrassing and we aren't even close like that but please kill it for me."
close like what, leehan wants to ask, but he chooses not to comment on that. "alright," he sighs, "i'll kill it for you." as he tries to disentangle himself from you, you panic, taking it as a sign that your neighbor's about to abandon you for good. squealing, you wrap your arms around leehan's middle, squeezing him tight as you shake.
"leehan please don't go." as if this situation couldn't get any more humiliating, tears start dripping down your cheeks as you bury your face in leehan's back. hearing your sniffles, leehan finally understands the severity of your fear and how much his presence means to you.
in the midst of your bawling, you feel a warm hand pat your entwined arms. "it's okay," leehan soothes you, "i promise i won't leave you alone." he finally extricates himself from you as you stare fixedly at the floor, hands clutching at his. "come on, won't you look at me?" with your tear-blurred vision, you look up at your potential savior, who looks as gentle as ever. he's got a warm, comforting gaze and a steady grip on you. "i got you. do you believe in me?'
when you slowly nod, leehan steels his resolve and steps into your apartment. "now let's go exterminate this creature."
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like, rb, and let me know what you think of my writing!
taglist 𓉞⋆。˚☁︎。⋆ @loserlvrss @lionhanie @myungjaesgf @sunnyhaki @woorcve @dorislitterbox @dearly-somber
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hazelfoureyes · 7 months ago
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Sending in anon because I'm a coward... 😩
I'm a new reader, and I just have to say-- your "a doe in fall" series is just... AMAZING!!
I could go on, and on and on about how much I love it. But what gets me the most is always Alastor's dialogue, because as someone who is also on the aro/ace spectrum, I just get it so much. Especially the subtle hoping that reader can like... Read his mind about how he feels for her, and the weird sort of stockholm syndrome we sometimes develop with ourselves after being alone with only our own company for so long, and it really is, lol, like you just get so used to being alone for so long because you know the idea people have of you, you can't truly live up to, so you don't want to "disappoint" them that you actually aren't like they are, so you just sorta... Keep them occupied at arms length-- Therefore you're forced to adapt to your company being the only love you have for a long time. it's like an obligation.
And when or if the special somebody who understands you comes along, you realize... "Wow, I've been living like this for so long, is this what it feels like to be loved and appreciated, in spite of my oddities, or maybe even in favor of them? Strange..."
Emphasis on the "strange" part because, when you're so deeply entrenched in your own soul, sharing your space for another almost feels more like learning how to swim rather than an instant "click", sparks, fireworks and whatnot. The excitement of the magical "other" has been long since drowned and snuffed out of you.
So, when this somebody who is similar to you, or just simply understands, doesn't try to change you or ignore you, but instead envelopes you and adores you, the appreciation is deep and overflowing. But there's a part of you always pinching your heart, a sort of awareness of something that isn't the case, wondering "Is this a dream? what if it is and I'll wake up and this is not at all what I was thinking?".
Haha... ANYWAY, sorry for the slightly morose and LONG read 😂 But I always think of how similar I am to how you write alastor and it's scary in a way, but comforting (especially since he's my first and biggest fictional crush) except in this case my profession would actually be burlesque. Especially since I work in the exotic dance world. It's fascinating being aro/ace in the SW world, I could go on forever- But yeah, I absolutely love your writing!! Makes me feel less alone in this world. Annnd surprisingly I always feel so sensual after reading, I love love love it!! Reading before work always gets me in the mood to dance and pretend I'm Y/N, lol!!
Much blessings ❤️❤️
*cracks knuckles* listen here babycakes, I eat this shit UP. Exploring Human Ace Alastor is my BREAD AND BUTTER. I go into ESSAYS in the AO3 comments in this 😂
you really understand, which makes me so happy and is confirmation I’m conveying him the way I want to.
Now I’m gonna ramble and echo you basically 😂
I really think Alastor (atleast in this story) feels that excitement and strangeness of how open he can be around Autumn (since she doesn’t have a proper name cuz she’s reader 😂). He’s a fish out of water despite the fact he’s actually being his most authentic self. Like you said, it’s new to him just to be … Alastor. To be honest and upfront. His normal operating mode has been so restricted for so long he’s struggling with how to be himself. And then that fear—- well what if I’m too much? What if I ruin this, when I finally have something worth keeping? He’s never gotten this far and the fear of losing that comfort is terrifying but so is the actual comfort itself. It’s new and foreign.
A deep uneasiness that’s if he fully embraces this he’s gonna just fuck it up and it’ll be his fault this time. Not a misunderstanding or misalignment of needs but a confirmation he wasn’t good enough anyway.
“it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” he would say that’s bullshit
and because of the situations he’s been in before, he’s never gotten to actually explore physical intimacy in a “safe” environment. He was always going into interactions because he had to if he wanted to keep people around. It was a necessity, not something he actually sincerely wanted to participate. So he tried to keep them happy with other means of affection and intimacy to maintain some safe distance but eventually, always, things would fall apart. At a distance or up close.
that’s why that most recent part was called Learning. Alastor is trying new things to learn more about what he’s okay with or doesn’t care for even offering in the future. Autumn is learning (that night, tho she doesn’t understand it yet) that he’s still figuring out how to meet her halfway (even tho she’s not even asking for that) when he’s used to being forced to meet people where they are. And Detective Brady, of course, is learning he may have found motive for Tommy’s disappearance.
I’m really glad you’re enjoying his portrayal and that you’re resonating with parts of him! That makes my soul hum! 💖 your line of work mixed with your Aro/Ace-ness sounds like such an interesting conversation if we’re honest! That’s a small aspect I love about Autumn. She’s in this field that’s (wrongly) considered to be hyper sexual and full of air headed wanton whores, but she’s the first person to be like “oh! You aren't into this stuff. Let me adjust my expectations. I’ll ask for clear verbal consent, not initiate, and I’m totally okay with never fucking again if it’s for your love and company.”
I work in the SW industry in a sense (Personal Assistant) and one of my biggest pet peeves is all of the shit people project on SWers.
sorry for the essay I could talk about this for ETERNITY
omg and THANK YOU! 🥺💖💖💖💖
Referencing:
A Doe in Fall (Human Alastor x Burlesquer Fem Reader)
Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦
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wawawawawawawawawawawawawa · 6 months ago
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the amount of times i Do This must be a joke at this point but here i am. doing it once more. izaya's highschool videogame SCREAMS "i just found out i have aspd and i am NOT taking it well." and i shall explain how
a preface: wrt "how did he know in high school, don't you have to be 18?" you do.... with the dsm guidelines. japan, iirc, uses a conbination of the dsm and icd to diagnose mental illnesses, and the age stipulation isn't in the icd. also, shinra could have told him, and lbr shinra wouldnt care about strictly adhering to the age thing
anyway i went thru and highlighted different parts of the videogame's text, so i can easier explain which part means what. i'll primarily be focusing on the chronic boredom associated with aspd- since izaya's game deals with patience, most musings in it will be related to that boredom. but the boredom, especially izaya's, IS important, as its the boredom that drives him to do what he does. to be what he is.
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(shoutout to miyukiwinter for the scan)
so... the red bit. this relates to izaya's worldview of the need to keep evolving to escape the mundane, and it not mattering if you aim high or low. now at this point, izaya was solidly in some shady shit and clearly on the path of the low aim. but the thing is, about aspd... the boredom is all consuming. you'll do ANYTHING to not be bored. i've seen people say they developed substance abuse problems to escape the boredom, and i confess... i've done it too. it truly is THAT bad
i say all this because... izaya will never be able to stop going lower, and lower, and lower. he's fated to fall forever. maybe he wouldve been able to brush his behavior off as teenage craziness, but with a diagnosis like aspd it becomes increadingly obvious that there is no "oh, i'll mellow out once i reach my 20s." it's not going to happen, at least, not without great effort. and lets be real, nobody has any faith in aspd's recovery rates, less so in the early 2010s, so izaya upon diagnosis would see NO FUTURE for himself. no escape from the cycle. he's trapped.
the blue bits are a bit more vauge, but the undertainty turning to loss evokes the next stage after the initial shock of diagnosis: grief. and make no mistake, there IS a grieving process with mental health diagnoses. you go from being shocked and scared, to being depressed and numb.
but there's... another layer to this, with aspd. you see it with cluster b disorders in general, but aspd is HUGE in the pop culture zeitgeist
the layer is, the idea that People Like That don't feel emotions. that any emotional display is false and an explicit ploy to mainpulate someone
and when this inevitably ends up untrue, you might start to feel... odd... about feeling those emotions people say you can't feel. and one of the biggest emotions aspd gets that with, is fear and by extension, anxiety.
some aspd people genuinely do feel reduced fear! but it's far from being a diagnostic criteria, and aspd can actually be comorbid with anxiety disorders. but scientific facts and wider culture rarely match up, so the idea persists
so izaya might have started to think.... was he ever truly anxious? or worried? was he really more rotten than people thought; was he just mainpulating people the whole time? does he really not feel anxiety? was his nervousness over things like shinra leaving him or hell, this diagnosis, rendered null and void?
and then we reach the teal portion.... despair
(just a sidenote, tumblr has no teal color option so it'll just be blue)
in this sense, "the hole" refers to the endless downward spiral, and his diagnosis- but not just having it. no, "the hole" most likely refers to the moment izaya developed it in the first place.
who are you, if you thought you were in control your whole life, but you found out that the reason you do the things you do were because of foeces beyond your control? who are you now, having a label you know will cause everyone to see you as nothing but a stereotype?
why was he still alive, suffering like this? what point is it to be alive, controlled by something you can't fight, forced to make your life worse and worse and worse, until you die young?
so now what? who did this to him?
in the game, the hatred is towards "the player." and honestly this could have multiple different meanings when applied to izaya's own life
does he hate god? was he raised religious, his father being a christian, and was this what made him lose faith? what loving god would condemn someone to suffer like this?
does he hate his parents? after all, it was their genetics that passed this down, their upbringing that nurtured it, their neglect that made him the way he was. is it their fault?
or... does he hate himself, for being the way that he is? for having it in the first place, for not being able to overcome it, for having such a bad reaction to it?
for being too cowardly to kill himself?
which brings us to the final segment. awareness.
he says outright, the game is depicting the player's life. in the game itself, this ties into his mockery of players, but in a meta sense, it could be a hidden admission that it's depicting his life
especially the talk of meaningless games- fooling around with nakura creating small gangs, betting pools, and his eventual adult pastimes of messing with people. is his life enriched? no, it's merely occupied, and he knows it. he might have repressed it as an adult, but here, in high school, at this moment, he knows.
and if he can never truly alleviate his boredom, never truly be fufilled, then he can act like he's in control all he wants, but he's no better than a man falling in a hole.
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dreamwreaver · 2 months ago
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I fully agree with you on your takes about Vaggie and Charlastor in general.
I wouldn't mind Chaggie being canon if the show did a better job at having the relationship say something about them instead of just meshing them together like a kid making their dolls kiss.
In fact, I would even go as far to say Alastor did MORE for Charlie than Vaggie ever did! Because he did so out of his own volition, and taking her somewhere where her passion would help them!
Where as everything Vaggie does is tied to making Charlie happy to some extent, not even her going to Carmilla to find a way to fight against the angels is of her own volition! Everything she does is all for and centered around Charlie.
Which kind of beckons the question of would she even still do these things or even stick around if Charlie wasn't her girlfriend. It all feels like the most change she went through was just changing leaders to follow, instead of following a leader that's cruel, she follows a leader that's nicer.
I REALLY hope as the show goes on Vaggie will get the much needed development she needed.
I think that's the biggest problem I have with canon chaggie as it stands. Like, this could be the lumity of adult animation, but it's just... meh? Like cool, they're kind of there. I know in another as I mentioned Kim and Ron as an example of what main characters in a relationship should be, but Lumity is honestly the more accurate example, especially considering how dirty Disney did the third season.
Luz is the cheerful, optimistic bisexual who is ultimately the chosen of a powerful entity just like Charlie (difference being one is descended from one the other is chosen to be imbued with its power) when they face down their nemesis it's with a strength that comes from having their kindness used, abused, and dismissed by said enemy. And ironically, their main antagonist is someone who is so assured of their own self-righteousness and goodness that it doesn't matter what they do or who they harm in the process.
Amity by contrast is the strictly raised over achiever who ultimately has a heart of gold beneath her stern and stand offish appearance. People associate that song "Little Miss Perfect" with her for a reason, though I do feel it applies to Vaggie as well. The difference between amity and vaggie though is that amity's interactions with luz encourage her to rebel against that image. Aside from Charlie offering her a bandage for her eye and indicating immediate interest... what does she bring out in Vaggie? Protective instincts? I mean... cool but we saw that a cannibal kid cowering in fear was enough for her to challenge her own beliefs so it's not like being with Charlie really changed her view of sinners. Hell, like Lucifer she still seems to approach them with condescension and derision, not the best approach for someone managing a rehab hotel right?
And let me be clear, whatever it takes is a great song. But it kind of shows the unhealthier aspects of Vaggie's side in their relationships. "I'll be your armor, I'll spend my life being your partner" you cannot be someone's armor and their partner because true partnership is equal, not one consistently protecting the other. And not to shit all over Vaggie I think her backstory has the capacity to be very moving. But Charlie... isn't the best partner to her.
Can I be real? I love my girl, I am not bashing for the sake of bashing. But Charlie has a tendency to get so wrapped up in her own stuff that vaggie's wants/needs often get... ignored? Not prioritized at the nicest. Vaggie seems hesitant about trust exercises? Well let's put her in charge of the whole thing! Vaggie doesn't want to go to heaven? Charlie makes her come anyways (which, side note if sinners can visit heaven Alastor as a shrewd businessman would have made a better choice just logically or at the very least give a reason why he can't go he's just not in that episode at all for some reason). And she kind of uses the "I'm your partner and I need your support" thing a lot on vaggie. Which, even if it's true Charlie, sweetie, please notice when your girlfriend needs you too.
Vaggie does have points at times about Charlie's ideas being too grandiose or impractical but the average way that goes is;
Vaggie: Charlie no,
Charlie: Charlie yes!
And then chaos happens and it somehow all works out and there's no apology from anyone. I'm also still kind of mad that Charlie didn't LET vaggie apologize for keeping that secret. Like, no, Charlie had as much right to be mad about that as vaggie did for keeping that secret and y'all really need to evaluate your relationship and boundaries and communication skills before you decide to continue it.
One other thing that bothers me is that... literally if you removed the introduction scene to Lucifer and the kiss in the last episode literally no one would be able to tell for sure they're a couple. And tbh? That's just bad writing. Especially considering how much they sideline vaggie from all love interest duties. Charlie's in danger? Lucifer to the rescue! And like... seriously, what was the point of giving vaggie her wings back if she couldn't use them to rescue her girlfriend? Why did she get those back? She doesn't fly at any other point after that, and sure maybe it's a case of she's gone for so long without them it's like learning to fly all over again, but at that point maybe give her wings that are incapable of sustaining her weight in flight? Something to indicate she's got them back but they're impractical for combat use so she has to rely on riding the goat dragons and Charlie falling from a high place would require someone with full sized wings to tackle the problem.
Look, I went into this show knowing that chaggie was canon and that Viv had been planning on doing much of what she called "fan service" for them. But for the love of god at least make it so that people cannot argue they're a couple. A complication of "Chaggie moments" on Amazon's YouTube is them just... talking. Bro, come on.
Vaggie deserves better. Charlie deserves better. Canon chaggie deserves better and the shippers who are not entitled assholes certainly deserve better than having to do all the fucking legwork for a canon ship. At least charlastor being non canon means I have every right to over react about the nuggets of content they give us. One day I will go over some of the insane ramblings I have for why they did so much for the non canon ship but not today lol
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slaingelo · 4 months ago
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for your apocalypse au, have you thought about what started it, or what type of zombies it is? i absolutely love zombie media, like i go insane for zombies shows/movies/books, so this au is v interesting
YEAH !!!!
i'll be talking about viruses here n shtuff specifically rabies a lot so anyone who's squicked out by that feel free to skip this post.
so if you're like, into the scientific analysis of "how could something cause this IRL" with zombies you probably know that it very frequently goes back to rabies, if not mushrooms/parasites, being the closest real world comparison !! so like first i'm going to dive into rabies because my zombies here are directly based on it.
first off right off the bat. rabies, in real life, does not make humans turn into feral monsters.
I'm going into writing this with the assumption that Someone reading this might not be familiar with rabies, so anon if you're reading this and you already know a lot about rabies I'm sorry !! you activated the AUTISM and I'm goin ham, take most of this to be directed at anyone else who's reading. i might have a few of my facts mixed or jumbled as well because I'm relying on memory for all of this so take it with a grain of salt !!!
SO;
the reason animals become so violent is generally more so due to the confusion and fear rabies causes. while some humans need to be tied down, it's generally for their own safety or so they don't hit anyone. hit, not bite. sometimes they flail around. it's very rare for rabies to transfer between humans because humans don't have a reason to bite- if scared, flailing/hitting/scratching is more natural to us, and rabies is only transferred through saliva.
as an important note to how the zombie virus in my story works, its important to understand that rabies travels through the nervous system; not the blood. before symptoms appear, it's in a rest period. once symptoms appear, even just a mild headache, it is too late. [don't take this to be fear mongering lmao. just like, don't handle wild animals if you're not trained to and if you think you've been bit by anything go get your post-exposure rabies shot.]
so !! the virus in my au is a direct evolution of the rabies virus. the zombies because of this technically aren't even zombies, since they're not dead; but they're basically just hosts to the virus. their consciousness deteriorates so much that there's no Them in there anymore really.
this is where it kinda slightly leans into a slight idea of parasite-y shit even if it's not a parasite; if the host dies, the virus can't spread anymore, so unlike real world rabies that ends in death Quickly, this one wracks the body's system much slower. while this means there's more time to find some way to be saved depending on your circumstances, it also means if you don't, it's going to be worse for you. you'll be terribly sick and then just... gone to the most animalistic instincts that were locked away in your head [attack anything that moves, eat eat eat eat-]
and on that note ! one of the biggest issues if you think too hard about it with rabies -> zombies is that you can't really swallow when rabies takes hold. hydrophobia develops, and the brain starts to fuck up on muscle control and movements. so yeah this is kinda just getting cut out for the evolved version here, let's say this smarter virus evolved to Not do that so the host survives longer via being able to still eat. hydrophobia remains because I said so, though probably more so in the way that they can't swim and would just sink to the bottom of any body of water- so the virus just makes them stay away from it.
ANYWAYS.!!!! yeah the virus moving slowly through the body is how Blue survives, Green cut off his arm while all the virus was still In It. Obviously this won't work if you get bit somewhere worse, but most bites would probably be in the arm anyways. you'd also kinda need a trustworthy companion because chances are you'll be out of commission for a bit and likely infected with some other bullshit because hey !!! shit ain't aseptic out here !! Green was able to find some antibiotics that helped, but Blue wasn't doing too hot for a bit there. it's a very risky idea but it worked out for them...
AS FOR HOW IT ALL STARTED I haven't though about that too much honestly. mostly because all the characters are just- normal people. they had no involvement with whatever happened, but i thought up a few ideas since there surely would've been Some news reporting, and my favourite one;
natural evolution of the rabies virus. suddenly, even though it was supposed to be gone from the area, reports of rabid animals were showing up again- and now, lots more people too. it seems like the post exposure vaccine isn't helping anymore...
some other ideas i had that i was less fond of but might as well put out;
a cliche "someone was fucking around and finding out about creating a bioweapon out of rabies and it Went Terribly Wrong, who'da thunk!"
i think it's been done in some movie idk i don't watch many zombie movies, where it was specifically rabies that a human caught that they then intentionally spread to other humans and it got stronger with direct spreading to more human hosts or something idk
i think i had more ideas but like idk this is what i could remember HGJDSGHDSH anyways i hope that's a pretty clear answer, kinda went a bit off topic now and then i kinda wanted an excuse to info dump about rabies. for the ppl who were saying it sounded like an interesting interest when i mentioned it before here you go. i need to make a nuclear apocalypse au......
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bigblueoctoling · 9 months ago
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So, Side Order
Thoughts and theories below. I'll be getting into Everything.
I think Side Order sets off with a very bad first impression, but the story shortly develops. Side Order's biggest fault is simply in placing the Finale at the end of the first run; Of course one naturally should assume that more content would come after beating your first run, since this was very obviously marketed as a roguelike, but a roguelike generally shouldn't present completing your first run as completing the game. Any contemporary roguelike like Hades or Isaac will also have the credits after the first run, but the conclusion given is typically that Your Job Is Not Over. The way Side Order does it is as if Isaac's first ending was The Beast. I can't really blame people for mistakenly believing that the "Story" was over after that.
I also have to mention that I LOVE the Final Final Phase with collecting All Of The Color Swatches, but it really really cheapens how cool of a moment it is for Eight when the FINAL ATTACK is just... Pearl doing the killer wail a second time. Like, could you really not come up with ANYTHING else? I like Pearl's killer wail, it's cool, but it just felt like Eight got completely robbed of a moment.
With those two things out of the way I can safely say that Side Order was overall very good. It was kind of a rollercoaster for me, initially.
For a lot of it, I was really irked at how generic the whole Evil AI Story was, but it really develops as time goes on without really outright spelling things out for you.
I was deeply worried when I got Octavio's palette; one of my biggest fears for Splatoon currently is the idea of them trying to redeem Octavio, who is blatantly just a war tyrant who grooms child soldiers. That's not me reading too deeply into subtext, that's just what the text is. But as you keep going through it it becomes pretty clear- Marina in particular is the one who's phrasing everything like it's Really Not So Bad.
One of Side Order's major themes is Marina repressing trauma.
Smollusk is never really given an outright explanation on their origin, but I think it's fairly clear if you pay attention to how Smollusk acts- Smollusk is, in part, a manifestation of the "weakness" in Marina's subconscious Order used to infiltrate her mind. As far as evidence goes, it's pretty clear with how Smollusk swoons over Pearl- but additionally, I feel a lot of their notes from clearing palettes are relevant to this. In particular, in relation to the theme of Marina's repressed thoughts, there's Sheldon's info- The fact that they outright condemn Sheldon for taking "two young, impressionable children who've known him since they were babies and raised them to inherit his legacy", and "drill a love for weapons into them" seems to outright be a condemnation of Octavio's treatment of Octarians, while also skirting around directly condemning Octavio of such due to repressing what she went through.
In addition to that, I feel Acht's presence is a key part of this theme as well- it is extremely in character for someone as empathetic as Marina to downplay something she herself went through, especially in the context of being around someone who went through something much worse, with Acht's sanitization. Marina consistently refers to it as her Job, and Octavio as her Boss, while Acht will outright describe it accurately as conscription.
There's also the aspect of the other octarians- namely, the concept of Octarians who "didn't want things to change". At first, the concept reviled me- but I came to realize that this wasn't really about blaming Marina for leaving- after all, this wasn't an active desire of the Octarians involved, this was a shared subconscious feeling. It's less that Marina "abandoned the Octarian Military", but rather, that the people left behind felt abandoned by Marina's leaving. They surely wouldn't actively express this, but... it left an impact all the same.
Most clearly this is expressed by Acht. With the final notes unlocked from Eight's palette, I feel like it paints a very clear picture- Acht cared deeply for Marina. After Marina left... Acht fell into a complete depressive spiral. They used music to fill the void left by her absence, eventually to the point that they were willing to let themselves be sanitized. I feel like a lot of people are kind of distracted by the idea of Acht's irritation of Pearl and Marina's flirting being funny to realize that their discomfort is coming from the fact that Acht had very Heavy feelings for Marina. Acht, possibly more than anyone else, represents the idea of wanting things to stay the same back then. The ultimate conclusion being that Acht moves on from everything, accepts the change, but is happy to be able to be here, in the better future Marina created by making the risk to change everything.
I honestly feel like this is the intended story, but at the same time, that it's going to go over a lot of peoples' heads. But it really paints a very dynamic plotline that I think they handled masterfully.
For context for people who don't know me, to put it bluntly, I kin Acht and Eight pretty fucking hard. I can't say enough how thankful I am that Acht is written largely how I've always envisioned her. I wrote a fairly extensive fic myself on how I imagined sanitization worked, and the way Acht made their way to the surface, and how Marina worked to cure their sanitization. Suffice to say, while my interpretation was different, I'm deeply, deeply pleased that the canonical direction was largely similar to my own, in that Marina would absolutely be way too empathetic to not try to rescue the sanitized octarians from the NILS statue. And for what it's worth, I'm kind of glad, albeit mostly as a writer and less as a player, that they left a lot of the details open-ended, so I have MOUNTAINS of material to work with in writing another, more accurate fic. I'm also very happy that Eight is very heavily relevant! Acht is characterized perfectly. Very emotionally reserved, but has a lot of feelings hidden behind that wall.
As for Eight and Acht, let's talk about them, because I feel they are very intentionally linked, beyond the similarity of their names. It stands out very heavily that Eight's palette is here, but Acht's is simply missing. The idea that Acht's palette was simply already configured doesn't quite track to me- it feels more like an excuse Marina cooked up to keep Acht from worrying. I came to a realization of a theory shortly after completing the game that I was mortified at being true, because it was a worst-case-scenario I thought of shortly after Acht's reveal, which is:
Acht is Eight.
This upset me a lot because, well, I kin both of them- I have a lot of self-perceptions tied to each of them. If they're both the same character, to put it bluntly, it feels like I'm basically having one of them get forcibly removed. Some people get confused when I say this upsets me, but simply put, it just doesn't gel with my brain.
The most upsetting thing is how many holes in the plot it seems to fill in perfectly.
Eight, Marina, and Pearl were the only ones who initially entered the spire. Why was Acht already there, 'physically', as opposed to everyone else who merely got their soul sucked in through the sea cucumber phone?
Where even is Acht, physically? They're presumably still in the NILS statue, since it's pretty heavily implied that the memverse is what made Acht in control over their body.
Why doesn't Acht have a palette, even if it was already somehow automatically complete? Pearl and Marina just sort of have theirs with them. Why doesn't Acht?
Why is Eight's palette so huge and fucked up?
Why does Eight's palette unlock notes from Acht?
Why do we not actually see Acht physically in the real world? On the news, rather than just showing the three standing together, they show Pearl and Marina standing next to the old album art of Acht.
Why do we not get much of any feedback to explain if Eight gets their memories back?
Upsettingly, it even kind of goes to explain why Nintendo would give Acht they/them pronouns- as happy as I am for Acht to just be nonbinary, the explanation that Acht is Eight would explain why Nintendo would do that.
Most upsettingly, it seemed like nothing really hard countered this evidence- Eight and Acht look completely different, but that's kind of a nebulous hurdle to get over when everything else seems to line up so perfectly.
...However, thankfully, I came to learn that, of all things, TABLETURF BATTLE would save me from this theory being real. Acht is real, physically. Logically it doesn't track that Acht would exist physically after Eight, since, you know, you're definitely playing as Eight in Octo Expansion, so I think it's safe to say that this theory is a non-starter. Huge relief to me.
That being said, I still feel like this theory has legs- it certainly would make a very good super depressing fic where Acht has to come to grips with the fact that they don't exist anymore, but I'm not in the business of making that kind of fic.
On the other hand, I do think the fact that so many things line up does imply a lot about Acht and Eight, if not strictly canonically speaking. I think it's very possible for it to be something like:
Eight is a clone of Acht.
This, for the most part, explains the plot holes listed above, and explains the weird green goo that we initially find Eight in. It also adds more fun to work with for writing the two. We get a lot of language like "Who am I?" with Eight in particular, and giving Eight an identity crisis on top of everything else sounds fun. It also explains the visual discrepancies, a clone can look different from the host, but clones sharing souls tracks. I'm keeping this headcanon.
I also just think the color swatch system, and the design for Dramatic Days in Orderland as a whole, are very Neat and very Cute and line up with my autism very very very well. It makes me very deeply happy how autism-coded Marina is in this, and frankly, this being her solution to curing sanitized octarians is even more indulgent to my own interests than my own self-indulgent fan fic was. I cannot WAIT to write more and think about Marina's silly virtual worlds. Especially with how power-trip-y this one is; the fact that she envisions herself as the final boss is really a lot of food for thought.
As a whole, all of Side Order is an enormous amount of food for thought. This is EXACTLY what Splatoon 3 has been missing- fodder for theorycrafting and fanfic-writing and so forth. The world of Splatoon 3 has felt so stagnant and all of this is an enormous breath of fresh air that makes me excited for the future of the series.
In closing:
Smollusk is a product of the subconscious of those who worked on the game.
Acht loved Marina but lacked the self-esteem to express it to Marina. Marina left and Acht took it pretty hard, but they're okay now.
Eight is a clone of Acht and they share one huge fucked up broken soul. Whoops!
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maxwell-grant · 1 year ago
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Are the any superhero type characters from Brazil you wish got more attention internationally?
The ones I create, hopefully I don't really want specific characters to get more attention internationally, so much as I want more interesting characters to be developed, because most Brazilian superheroes (and that goes for a lot of other international superheroes) tend to be stuck on creative dead ends. I can elaborate more on that and the history of Brazilian superheroes if asked but if you want a specific answer, I'll give three, first one being, Tales of the Orishas by Hugo Canuto.
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Tales of the Orishas fuses the pantheon of the African diasporic religion of Candomblé with the Silver Age comic aesthetics of Jack Kirby into a riveting tale of high adventure. The story centers around a celestial battle between the gods of Brazil, who are worshipped by the Bahia people, and a fearsome conquering force led by a dark and malevolent overlord. Only Shango, the god of fire and thunder, can lead his people into victory while the fate of creation hangs in the balance.
It is considerably popular already and even used for didactic purposes in classrooms overseas. but I can say very comfortably can say that this is a thing that should reach as large an audience as possible by any means. I mean, fucking look at it.
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I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I've seen enough pages of it that I can very comfortably call it the best Jack Kirby tribute I've ever seen, even though it's ambitions are way higher than just doing that, and It's been heavily recommended by everyone I follow within the Brazilian comics scene for very self-evident reasons. Gets my strongest recommendation out of all these as proof of concept for what can and should be done with Brazilian superheroes.
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Danilo Beyruth is one of the biggest names amongs the local comics scene, and has done several works with superhero-esque characters like The Necronaut, which is about a Spectre-esque "lifeguard of the dead" who wanders the world helping spirits carry over and resolve their unfinished business, and Days of Horror, which is a showcase piece for 50 major names in Brazilian comics, in a story about a Dr Doom analogue named Doc Horror standing trial for his role in an alien invasion that murdered his world's Trinity as well as thousands of civilians. He's done five books on the Astronaut series, which are a space-opera superhero-esque revamp of Monica's Gang character Astronaut, more in line with their more adult-themed Graphic MSP line-up.
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The power to change the world lies in his hands...but he only wants to play king.
Rei de Lata is set in a world ravaged by war that faced it's worst disaster: a biological weapon that practically drove an entire country extinct. Unexpectedly, however, all children born after the attack developed some kind of abnormality, some kind of power generated by a survival instinct, trauma or extreme situation. Due to their immunity to the toxic air, the surviving adults detest and fear them, and wish to hunt and study them, and so the super-kids must battle for their survival in a post-war country.
And I'm also gonna be including Rei de Lata (I think you can loosely translate it as The Can King but that is way too clunky and isn't quite right for what the name is supposed to mean and sound like), which is available on Webtoon. It's more along the lines of a shonen battle manga, but it is about distinct, superpowered characters, it's invited enough comparisons to MHA and the main character is a supervillain so I feel comfortable putting it here. It's been ongoing since 2017 and I think it got a physical release, it rules and rises above a lot of it's inspirations, the protagonist and side characters are all great opposite perfectly detestable villains. Very strongly recommend it, really excited to see where it's going.
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elinaline · 23 days ago
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Dragon Age Veilguard first six hours of gameplay from someone who hasn't waited a decade for the game and who absolutely loved every part of Origins yes even the fade yes even the deep roads yes even the brecilian forest yes even the circle yes even denerim yes
Well first off be ready for the game to have a SHIT optimization. I had to restart my guy a grand total of six times until I was able to progress past the first rage demon crossing the screen three minutes after the introduction cinematics. My recommendation is get rid of the shader cache on your PC settings, delete the shader cache folder in the game files, lower the resolution settings, uncheck the hair strand animation that looks like ass anyways, and maybe restart your computer for good measure after that. Doing all this by trial and error went from the game loading 96% of the shaders in 45 minutes then crashing to starting in 3 seconds and not crashing (that is. Until the cinematic with Morrigan four-five good hours later which prompted me to go to bed. I suspect my PC of overheating and the shader cache to still be too large)
Now that your game is up and running well. Well that character creator is fucking amazing innit. It's a really good mix between all previous BioWare character creator iterations and it allows to make guys with very interesting facial features and good control over pretty much everything without being too huge and overwhelming, and still retaining some of the physiology of the different people from the previous games (contrary to what some steam comments would have you believe about the qunari –who had one (1) face model in DA2, cmon)
As for the fights, they've completely changed from the previous games, bye bye real time strategy and welcome final fantasy 7 type combat with perfect timing dodge and parry, and sometimes asking your companions to do some special actions (not ATB gauge tho, but you DO have a cool finish). And to my great pleasure, hello difficulty calibration ! This bangs. I'm gonna make the enemies even a bit more dangerous than I already did because I'm still not really challenged during the fights so far :)
Speaking of calibration I am extremely impressed by the accessibility tools, there's the now usual screenshake toggle, but also a screenshake slider, a size and opacity slider for subtitles, adapted colors for colorblind people you want it you name it !
Keyboard and gamepad binding are fully customizable, which is nice because you have quite a lot of tools during the fights and it takes a while to find a comfortable way to play. Luckily, the introduction is long enough that you don't feel unsatisfied by the fights you use as calibration I'd say.
In terms of the game itself the fights are quite fun ! I do miss the strategic aspect of DAO but I can also always replay DAO if I want that lol. There's still puzzles which I love, making you explore the environment a bit more, and the environment seems dense at first but is pretty easy to read thanks to a solid artistic direction. I love you artistic direction I am kissing you on the mouth. Yup this game looks a bit "cartoony" in its art they've chosen to go away from hyper realism and boy am I glad. In my opinion, the game looks a lot like Origins if it had better, more recent lighting tech and cleaner textures. I really like it ! It's still quite dark, at least in those first few hours it's been quite fucking dark lmao I don't know who out there thinks it's just silly goofy but may I remind you a recurring theme of Origins, the game where there's a dozen of you fighting a war against a living plague that eats the world while the royalty has sent assassin's after you, is that the country smells of wetdog ? Dragon Age has a lot of silly moments. It's true that Veilguard so far suffers a bit from the Cool Quip disease but I'm still very much at the beginning and I trust that I'll see the relationship develop between characters. Overall my biggest fear is that with only three choices carrying over from Inquisition (who you were in a couple with, did you disband, what'd you tell Solas at the very end), the game might make me face a world state I had no part of and that will frustrate me from the "everything carries over across a twenty year history" game franchise. Already felt weird getting a letter from Isabela due to the background I've chosen and not reading a word about Hawke. I wanna hear about Dagna and the Warden commander and how the royal family is doing in Denerim and whether Sebastian fucked off forever in the end and how are Leli's nugs doing >:( and I want to see Sandal again >:(
Overall fun time so far will come back to you all with more and with screenshots and shit over the week !
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utilitycaster · 2 years ago
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FYI, I'm away for the weekend and shall have very limited availability once I reach my destination but here is WoTC's first official statement re the OGL. It is short and in fairly simple language, and I recommend under the strongest terms you read it for yourself and draw your own conclusions from it rather than relying on others.
Takeaways I have are:
They will be clarifying that this is specifically about the creation of TTRPGs. Livestreams, cosplay, etc. were always unaffected but given the response from the community I think this is a useful statement to make. They have also stated that this is not intended to touch on VTTs. I will admit, I feel like the conversation surrounding VTTs has been by far the most poisoned by unfounded speculation, and I also have not liked VTTs when I've used them, so I'll wait for the final OGL 1.1 to have any conclusions, but at the very least this is what they are saying now.
It appears the royalty structure is not being pursued, which was one of the biggest legitimate concerns.
The OGL 1.0 will not be invalidated for existing content. I would presume that this does imply it will not be permissible for future content the moment that 1.1a is released.
The registration system has not been mentioned, and I am keeping an eye on that. It seems that if royalties aren't going to go forward this would not make any sense to have and would almost certainly cost them money to pursue, but I'm waiting for 1.1a to make that clear.
The language surrounding content that uses the SRD as being something that can be used by WoTC at any time for free will be clarified to indicate that this is a provision to prevent lawsuits over unintentional coincidences rather than as a means for WoTC to use commercially available unofficial content for free. (This is part of what was widely stated by people more familiar with IP law to be boilerplate. Basically: let's say a third party publisher came up with the idea of a fire-based druid class shortly before the Circle of Wildfire came out but after it had legitimately already been in development at WoTC. This would basically say "hey, we did not steal your IP; both of us came up with fire-based druid subclasses independently and neither of us will sue each other and both of us can continue to sell our material.")
Obviously this went through PR for a large company, and, you know, sounds like it. The responsible thing to do is to wait for the final document. With that said I do not think it's unreasonable to consider things with a measure of good faith, which is to say: the leak was a draft, it was not intended to be released as it was, and there was intended to be a (far more controlled) comment period for creators once a public-facing draft version was ready.
For what it's worth: More generally, I do recommend being very thoughtful about what subscriptions you maintain, which is why I use D&D Beyond in a fairly limited fashion and only because a DM of mine requested it - I do not use it for DM planning nor did I use it for previous characters. Part of that is because, as you can see in the film/TV industry and music industry, your favorite show or song can be taken off a streaming service on the whim of said service or at the behest of the artist or for many other reasons, but content you actually own will still exist. I think it's worth criticizing this as an ongoing business practice, and I do suspect WoTC will be pushing it for D&D Beyond.
I also think a lot of opportunistic people preyed on people's fears regarding games or shows they have deep emotional attachments to, and that multiple parties in all of this ongoing mess (one of which, to be clear, is WoTC/Hasbro) can all be wrong at once. Also more generally, I do not think this kind of fearmongering is productive, and I do think it's outright harmful to genuinely pragmatic anticapitalist efforts. Lies or even the not necessarily malicious wide dissemination of misinformation are far more dangerous when they validate what you already believe, because you're far more likely to fall for them.
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karliahs · 2 months ago
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💻🤔✨- for your fic ask game!
from this - thank you!!
💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?
i'm not a huge researcher but i do little bits here and there...most recently for a soft place to land i did some research about japanese customs and also some about child development to check that my sense of what 7 year olds are like was semi-accurate...and that did then lead to me reading a whole book about parenting, but at that point it crossed over from being fic research to just me remembering that i find kids and parenting fascinating
🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?
insecurity/the mean bad faith reader who exists in my head. this is the hardest part because it makes everything else harder - fixing problems i've noticed in my work, taking risks/going out of my comfort zone, just taking time to write in general because i have this weird fear that if i go work on something i'll suddenly realise it's irredeemably bad. shame is not conducive to making stuff
i'm also profoundly conflict-averse and fear discourse, and that does definitely affect what i'm willing to post and therefore work on. although i do think the level of bad faith reading i bring to my own work is probably a lot worse than what would happen in reality (and also even if people are doing that, they have almost never felt the need to tell me about it, so it shouldn't really be an issue)
i'm a lot better about this than i used to be!! but it's the biggest roadblock for sure
✨ Choose three adjectives to compliment your own writing.
introspective
this is a thing i did not really realise until people mentioned it in comments, but yeah i do tend to find the most interesting thing about a scenario to be how people are thinking and feeling about it, and my main goal with a piece is often to get across a vivid sense of what it would feel like to be that person in that moment.
this is also why when i've played around with a more distant 3rd person perspective, it hasn't really worked for me. gotta be right up in someone's head
2. grounded
i am truly just cribbing from comments with all of these...this is another thing people pointed out and i'm like yeah! even when i write tropes like bodyswap or de-aging, i tend to take a sort of grounded perspective on it that i really enjoy (even though i also love the wild & zany takes that are more common with those tropes)
there's an interplay of fantasy and realism in hurt/comfort fics in general which i could ramble on about for ages, and i think i'm pretty good at couching fantasies of comfort that are common to a lot of people in a kind of semi-realism that lets you really feel it.
3. succinct
it took me infinitely too long to think of a word that means short but in a good way 😂 i would not say no to suddenly gaining the ability to write 200k plotty epics, but i realised recently that i enjoy reading oneshots and shorter fics more than i do longfic, and i really admire when other writers achieve a lot in a short word count...so it seems kind of silly to deny myself that praise just because it's me, especially when nice people in comments keep telling me it's true
ignore the fact that my current project is 30,000 words of domestic softness. this is an anomaly and should not be counted
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unlikelyarcadefire-blog · 11 months ago
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When I was 16, I randomly watched (if I recall correctly) the 1996 version of Jane Eyre, with Charlotte Gainsbourg and William Hurt as Jane and Rochester. This is the only version I have been able to watch, as all others have off-put me in some way or another. I recommend it to anyone! It is incredibly sweet. I'll probably post more about that later.
After I watched, I was so emotionally moved, I rushed to read the book over the following four days. It was life changing! It made me think like a story never had before.
It also made me write. I began penning my own period novel, and worked at it for perhaps 3 years. I abandoned it mostly due to personal life events that made continuing it difficult and unappealing.
However, now I am 27. I decided to try NaNoWriMo after seeing John Green mention it in a video (at the tail end of November '23!) and was delighted to find... I loved it! And I wrote every day, every free moment. I stayed up late into the night. I was hooked!
I originally (11 years ago) had written my story on the notes app on my iPad -- I know, I know. I likewise kept a notebook as a hand written key for OCs backgrounds. That has been since lost -- I believe I discarded it, as I did many things in my college days. But I had emailed copies of my Notes to myself and was able to use them as a starting off point.
Let me tell you -- a lot of it was discarded, but some parts surprised me! It can be invigorating to rediscover your old art -- and be impressed or moved by it. Though, I am arguably better at writing and plot development now, with experience (English degree) and just life stuff.
Anyway, it's been like two months and I already have around 350 pages -- with lots more to write. I didn't think I'd ever actually write a book, but this is one of my biggest projects yet. And it's been a joy to create something! Since I graduated, I have slowly fallen out of my love and dedication to art -- it lingers but is overshadowed by daily life. I'm married and have a toddler now. But I believe I can have both! I am seeing inspiration and beauty everywhere -- I cannot escape it! I initially feared writers block but I have found myself to have the opposite problem. I can't turn my writers brain off. My OCs conversate in my head all day. Not being able to write down their ramblings is agony.
I'm rereading Jane Eyre, revisiting old artistic inspirations (music, period romances, books, poetry, etc.). I feel like I'm in my art-girl renaissance.
I even returned to Tumblr, if that tells you anything.
The point of this is mere unloading. To share my obsession somewhere safe. Bc I'm afraid of seeming silly or bugging anyone with my interests (introverts be like). Thank you for listening. I hope I finish my book, and make art that makes me feel something. That's it for now.
I hope you know there is a story in you.
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ladyfromaspookyforest · 2 years ago
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Scott Clarke is an NPC (I'm dead serious)
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Scott does So Much (yes, I'll be capitalizing often in this post) for the story in season 1 and yet is developed more or less not at all. He's a side character. Do I expect to get to know him on the level I know Mike or Joyce? No. It's the fact that he does So Much and yet we know So Little that's odd. I know more about Vickie than I do about Scott despite how much more screentime AND impact Scott has had.
I’ve been looking at some Suspicious Behavior surrounding Scott, which I’m writing a separate post on. So in this post, I won’t be theorizing about anything we don’t know about him. I want to talk about the role he plays as we see it.
I had this thought and once I had it, I couldn’t get rid of it. See, my thought was, “Huh, Scott’s kind of like the chorus in a play.” And I keep thinking about that. The role of the chorus (historically...like Greek historically) is to provide information the audience needs that the actors cannot themselves give. Sometimes they offer commentary on what the actors are doing. Sometimes they offer foreshadowing. Sometimes they announce a tonal shift.
You know when you read a book and there’s a conversation like,
"Are you hungry?" "No, I’m good. I doubt I’ll ever feel truly hungry again now that I’ve lived through the Four Year Famine." "That’s true. Those were a hard four years after the Leprechaun Army of Willyfilly Forest turned all our crops to marshmallows, and when the marshmallows melted on the hottest day of the summer and ruined the soil etc. etc."
and you’re just sitting there like JFC nobody talks like this? The chorus makes it so you don’t have to listen to characters over explain things to each other in abominably unnatural ways. But they aren’t characters whose independent arcs are explored.
In season 2, Scott literally introduces us to Max and in doing so, also reveals to us that she is MADMAX. His first lesson is about the human brain, and he tells us that there are 100 billion cells inside working together as one. This foreshadows the hivemind. His second lesson is about Phineas Gage and how his behavior dramatically shifted after the rod incident. This foreshadows Will’s possession. His third lesson is about instinctual fear and this one is literally given as a voiceover on top of Mindflayer Will approaching the hot bath. It couldn’t be any clearer. Scott’s role in season 2 is very blatantly the Chorus role. He delivers information to the audience and that is all.
In season 1, it isn’t that he’s speaking TO us to provide us with the information we need, but that his EXISTENCE provides us with the information we need.
Example: Instead of suffering through something along these lines—
"The Heathkit is so cool. It’s amazing that it’s able to reach so much further than a regular radio."
—we have Scott teaching the boys about it because it’s just arrived. This is pretty much storytelling 101, basic Show Don’t Tell. But what has me stuck on it is that this is ALL Scott does. The only reason Scott needed to be in the woods searching for Will that first night was so that he could strike up a conversation resulting in the revelation that Hopper lost a daughter.
But here’s how I look at it: Scott’s like an NPC. He just appears while you’re on your important mission to communicate with Will and says, “I’ll give you the key to the Very Important Radio but first you have to do something!” and then you have to go to this assembly and there’s this minor bad guy you fight there and then you get to go use the radio. Or you’re on the Scour the Woods quest and NPC Scott pops up and says “I found this piece of cloth! Looks like it’s from the lab!” And you have to go on your Scour the Lab quest.
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Scott Clarke is the true NPC of Stranger Things. There is one instance of Scott Not Furthering the Plot in season 1 and it’s when he’s at home, watching a movie with a ladyfriend (the biggest plot twist of season 1) before Dustin interrupts to make sure he doesn't get too comfortable and gets back to his job of Driving the Plot. So Scott tells him how to make a sensory deprivation tank.
I said that like a joke, but it’s actually so fascinating to me that we don’t just see Scott picking up the phone when Dustin calls, which would have been in line with everything else we’ve seen from him all season. This includes when Connie comes to wrangle the party’s identities out of him. We don’t see what he was doing before she arrives. We see her knock and only then do we see inside as he answers the door. But in this scene, we catch this brief glimpse of Scott’s life before Dustin interrupts and that interruption genuinely feels like it’s saying, “No, no, Mr. Clarke. You’ve misunderstood the assignment. You’re supposed to be helping, not relaxing.”
This happens again in season 3. We actually see inside his garage as he paints a little DnD figure while Joyce is knocking on the door before he hears her and gets up to greet her. It’s just a brief glimpse of his life outside of school. So what we know about Scott is that he likes science, he likes film, and he likes DnD. We actually already knew he liked DnD because he knew what the Vale of Shadows was in The Flea and the Acrobat and we could have guessed he liked film because he’s in charge of (and enthusiastic about) the AV Club. But what we know about Scott is, in short, his interests and that he cares about his students.
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I think I need to take a moment to talk about why Scott is different from other side characters. Let’s keep on with season 1 for now. Barb is only in two episodes, but she’s developed enough that we see her emotions. We understand her worry that Nancy is outgrowing her. We see her frustrations as she’s dragged to a party where she doesn’t feel comfortable and then as Nancy abandons her. But ultimately, Barb IS the plot. She’s the instigator for Nancy’s journey. Similarly, Troy is the plot, serving as an obstacle for the boys. Tommy and Carol are antagonists to Nancy and Jonathan and offer Steve a self-growth arc. All of these side characters further the characterization of a protagonist. Scott only furthers the plot. (Don't @ me, I'm not implying he wasn't a great influence on the kids, I'm talking about what we see onscreen)
There are also side characters who don’t really do anything most of the time but maybe have a scene or two where they actually do something relevant. Like Holly. She’s just around most of the time, but then she notices the lights. Or Flo. She’s just at the office doing her job until she offers up some words about love and stupidity to Nancy.
No other side character consistently furthers the plot Every. Single. Time. they are on screen. And yet Scott is totally undeveloped. It’s his complete lack of independent journey combined with the way he appears solely to reveal information the protagonists require that makes him like an NPC. If he did not exist, the plot would halt. He is a destination the protagonists need to arrive at in order to achieve their goals. This is true of both seasons 1 and 3. In season 2, the plot actually would have been fine without him (I wouldn’t. I would not have been fine without Scott, FYI) but he was there to offer us foreshadowing and themes. His Chorus Era, as I am deeming it.
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Season 2 also contains the only instance of Scott Not Furthering the Plot AT ALL in a scene. It’s at the Snow Ball. He’s briefly seen tacking up a banner and then again greeting Dustin. Nothing is revealed about him or his life through these moments, but they don’t serve the story in any way and frankly, that’s refreshing. Good for you, Scott. It isn’t like in seasons 1 and 3 where his peace is interrupted. Although, technically, Dustin still has to interact with Scott here in order to get into the Snow Ball.
I’m trying very hard to wrap this up without going into Theory Mode because I’m saving all that for my other post, but I feel like I just shat out a bunch of nonsense if there’s no Great Point I’m making. Conclusion: this character was written with a very specific purpose in mind. The writers made sure he was essential in every scene he is (has a speaking role) in except for one quick non-character-building interaction. And for a character so Important, he is left unusually underdeveloped. I don’t think this was an accident, that’s all. Scott Clarke for ST5.
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tonydaddingham · 1 year ago
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(last anon= me, was a bit anxious it might not go over well for some reason- off now bc changing the capitalization was a pain)
i agree on the human aus! love their flexibility, the sorta "yeah, may as well happen" you get clicking on something (with love) completely ridiculous. it's also so much fun to see what people do with crowley's eyes and his relationship to the glasses.
i'm very very early in planning this, but i want a&c to be as close to theirshow characterizations as i can possibly get them (book boys are amazing but i want the drama). i don't know that i'll do a very good job at justifying it with their backstories, but i'm gonna try. (idk. people have different opinions on personality being nature vs nurture. i can claim majority nature if it's more convenient)
i'm thinking here that crowley, personally, would have had to kill somebody or a couple somebodies, in an absolute (it at least appeared so, still does), life or death, them or him scenario (only his life saved). said somebody or somebodies would have attacked first, and out of desperation-- not totally their choice either. i'm assuming for the sake of the fic that he'd be able to do it at all, and then survive a couple decades after, so there's... something.
i just can't figure out exactly how he'd have coped with it, and whether he'd, later, think of it as justified, like how much guilt there would be. don't know what's even plausible.
my biggest problem is that framing him as 100% Good and Pure (and weirdly helpless?) like ppl do sometimes is literally my biggest fear writing this (huge mischaracterization in general). i don't want to go for the exact same indifference as in the show, for reasons you mentioned (and also that level of apathy would fuck up the entire rest of the fic), but not too far in the opposite direction, either.
tysm for the first response and considering a second, this seems a whole lot more solvable- and sorry if it's a lot to ask to go over all this (although your ability to hold a shit ton of information at once and then respond eloquently is impressive asf, looking at like every chain with LWA), i just drew a bit of a blank. also my bad if it's got a little heavy for your blog, just realized looking at the tags 😭
oh @aq-uatic you silly goose!!!✨ im absolutely fine with asks like that, please feel free to sling them my way anytime!!! ultimately tho, that's what the tw was for; just in case it was a bit heavy for someone else, but for me, personally? there's not a lot of themes that i feel uncomfortable discussing, almost all topics are welcome and i'll soon say if they aren't!!!💕
ooooh okay, so a self-defence angle!!! i think that that could be interesting to explore, because - well, you could take it from the perspective that crowley is initially very righteous in defending himself, rightly thinking that he deserved to protect himself, and the use of force was proportionate. he could initially come across as quite dispassionate and apathetic about it, "me vs. them? well of course it was going to be me!", and ultimately not want to address the whole concept of having committed murder because, on face value, it was justified. and maybe he privately doesn't want to examine it bc he's apprehensive about what he'd find?
but then as plot (and character) develops, turns out that because the whole thing was so fast, fuelled by adrenaline and the instinct to survive, crowley ends up... not being able to remember much of it? and as details start to come back, i think that's where the cognitive dissonance element would play - that he then has to reconcile himself as being someone who he feels is morally sound, 'would never harm another human being', a good person... but then is starting to remember his fear in the situation, confronting his own mortality, and what it says about him to be able to take another life with little thought other than his own self-preservation? as well as remember the specific physical details of what happened? the sounds, the smells? looks in the mirror afterwards and sees a different person looking back?
obviously without knowing the full motive of the person attacking him, who they are, what their story is etc.,... i think crowley could end up dealing with it in a way that he accepts that he cannot control others' actions, only his own. that that person chose to put him in the position of having to defend himself, and whilst, yes, that person may have had a family, friends, potential... when he's in a position of ensuring his own survival, he may have actually made the best decision he could have at the time. idk if you're planning to explore the attacker's circumstances in any depth, but if - for example - they were trying to rob him out of their own desperation (e.g. homelessness/austerity, fund addiction, peer pressured/gang context, mental health), maybe crowley would deal with that by exploring charitable work, or good causes, that seek to alleviate that very desperation? and that's how he heals from the experience?
again, hoping this might be some food for thought!!!✨💕 please do link me your fic when you've posted anything, i really admire how you're exploring this concept and it sounds really interesting and promising!!! i'll reiterate that i love getting asks, especially when they explore topics like this; i feel the LWA ones are a little bit of an anomaly, for being really analysis-heavy (which i love, let me clear), but getting to be a bit creative is exciting for me too!!!✨
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d34dlysinner · 1 year ago
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Beel mysteriousness really intrigues me even though he seems like one the loudest
Why he left his kingdom and never once return back ,anyway he should be thankful that he has a friend like Bael that could cover and take his place for that long.I’m worried Bael might have a identity crisis 😰
And his power is just WOW ,know everything about a person just by the smell
It would be awesome ,if he couldn’t sense us and we are now mystery for him .
He looks like someone that would leave you after his done his fun with you so this is gonna fun.
Okay let's talk about his ability to smell you and what you've done first. I'll be honest that is one of my biggest fears. Absolute nightmare material for me. I always feel like I need to smell good, so having someone that can know what you've done and eaten makes me scared. I can imagine him thinking that something isn't right since there's someone that smells different from the usual demons he interacts with and he sees that it's the MC.
Now about Beel's bestfriend.
Honestly I love Bael eventhough we don't really know him. We just know that he fills in for his friend.
And yes, this man definitely must have some identity issues. I can't imagine someone being able to impersonate someone else since B.C.931 without having issues.
Bael probably needs like... a few centuries to find his own interests and be himself again.
Now about Beelzebub himself and his country... atleast some theory.
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So Beel's ability is something special. He defies logic and theories and makes special phenomena happen in Hell. He wanders around and is sighted everywhere except his own country "Avisos".
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Solomon and God disappeared B.C.931 the same time that Beel abandoned his country.
The texts mentions that Beelzebub or his country is developing whereas the other countries are already set according to the preferences of the king. If Beel is developing it may actually mean that he gets interested in things and as quickly abandons them, because he wants to try stuff out.
It could mean that Avisos never was a stable place to begin with. Beel leaving just means that it would crumble more.
The text also mentions that Bael is the one who since then "ruled" over Avisos as a fill in.
On top of that Bael's info mentions that he fills in for Beel mostly because the angels are hunting him.
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I don't believe that Beelzebub is weak and that he needs to leave Avisos because of some weakness he has. His ability to create things that defy logic could be very strong. On top of that Stolas, who thinks that he himself is the strongest in Avisos, fears Beelzebub.
I want to theorise that Beel helped in the disappearance of God and Solomon or that the angels atleast think he did. He then abandoned Avisos for safety reasons. Bael maybe filled in since he's Beel's bestfriend and didn't want the angels to bother Beel. Probably stalling the actual encounter between Beel and the angels.
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theflyingfeeling · 1 year ago
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Hi hi helloooooo!
There has been a scenario/headcanon/thought whatever this is that I've been thinking for the past two days and it's stupid but I want to share it now 😭
Due to lack of Olli/Allu content (you know they have been in the US for a week already and what have we gotten? Only one pic of them 😤 (and this is a joke btw)) I've had this headcanon that during/after Aleksi's streams Olli realized "oh shit I actually have feelings for him" and that it's not normal to stay awake waiting for the other to text or rewatch the streams when you can't sleep🤧
or vice versa (I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before??) the chat makes Aleksi realize that it's, in fact, not normal to smile so widely when getting a text from Olli or check his phone every minute waiting for an answer 😭 (and maybe Aleksi sees the cute tiktok edits all the kids make and the comments and he realizes that it's not really that platonic after all)
and maybe Aleksi gets scared and thinks he really shouldn't fall for his bandmate and oh no it CAN'T be happening and it's his biggest fear andandand- it leads to Aleksi avoiding Olli and making up excuses why he wants to room with someone else and poor Olli gets so confused and sad and aaaaaaa 😭🥺
I think there was even more to this but I can't remember now 🧍‍♀️ also now when I have written this I realize we actually talked about something like this didn't we?? Well now I talked about this more sorry 🤧
(and once again sorry for all the grammatical errors I'm just writing whatever comes to my mind 😭)
Hello there hiiiiii!! 🥰
Yeah I think we discussed something similar not so long ago but guess what!! I'm absolutely down for talking about this some more because hell yeah feelings realisation and pining and angst and all that heart-wrenching stuff!! 😌
I see your 'one of them realises they have a crush and get scared and proceed to avoid the other because that'll sure solve the issue' and raise you 'what if they both did' because 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that would be even more terrible, with both of them having the oh shit moment (simultaneously, unbeknownst to each other), thinking they shouldn't be having feelings for the other and start avoiding each other, yet they get sad when the other is avoiding them as well, because even though they avoid each other they still want to be together and they miss each other so much and maybe Aleksi cries about it against Niko's shoulder (without actually telling them what it's about) and Olli does the exact same with whoever he's rooming with and-- 🥺🥺🥺🥺
But yeah, ngl I've been thinking about something similar a lot as well recently. It's just too easy to imagine Aleksi in his studio at ass o'clock with a stupid smile on his face every time he gets a new notification from Olli, and omg Olli watching Aleksi's streams when he can't sleep? Because he misses him so much and then he realises he misses him maybe a little too much? Yeah okay great thanks, I'll be thinking about this for the rest of week probably 🤧😭💕
(okay hiding my final thought under a cut because of reasons 😅)
And like. All that^ is obviously just headcanoning and very much Not Real, but at the same time, we've got to remember that Aleksi choosing Olli as his ghost story buddy for his spooky stream - because he knew Olli would 1) be awake, and 2) be totally down for it - and that Olli was, in fact, down for it and just abandoned whatever he had been doing to do even more than what Aleksi asked of him, way past midnight (!!!!), is something that actually happened and is thus Very Real, and that's gotta tell you something, I mean hellooooo?!?!?! And no I will NOT shut up about this already because it's still the cutest shit ever, and so I'm asking you, is it really so far-fetched and impossible that two friends and bandmates who clearly enjoy each other's company a lot develop some feelings for each other? Like, just teeny tiny feelings?? I for one don't think so 😤😭
To conclude, your honour, they're in sweet bisexual love and probably don't even know it yet 😔
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