#My Son My Angle Erwin..

[beleauer-blog]

just to let y'all know i wont be taking a hiatus on this blog only bc it's new, so whenever i feel like writing, ill pop in to do whatever i can!

[ererokii]

Warmth of your Touch || Eren Jaeger

➳ Eren Jaeger x Fem Reader

Word Count: 4K Warnings: contains spoilers from season three Taglist: @jaegerbomb20 @sleepysnk (message to be on it in the future)

➳  Note: This is from my canceled december event and it was just laying around in my drafts, i might start posting more of those! Also ignore the typos and such, this is HEAVILY UNEDITED.

The members of the Survey Corps couldn’t remember the last time they let loose and had fun. Around here, everyone was on their tiptoes, waiting for any enemy to strike. Really, all of humanity was like this. But the Scout Regiment was the first line of defense, and they always went underground first before anyone else. 

Many casualties swept over the brigade. The return to Shinganshina hit hardest. With the Beast Titan arrival and the fight put up by the Colossal and the Armored inflicted more damage than any group of titans could. With the death of Commander Erwin, and the retrieval of Reiner by the Cart Titan and Zeke, it wasn’t right. With the soldiers returning back home, it was quiet. No one dared to speak another word.

Only 20 or less able bodies made it back home to their families and were lucky enough to see the rays of the sun and breathe in the air that the Earth gave them. Too bad others were left on that battlefield on that day, their bodies becoming one with mother nature once more. 

The days slowly but surely started to get shorter as summer turned to fall. The colors of the leaves changed for the season, right on time. The hot sticky air turned to crisp, and more damp. The sky let out it’s tears and covered the earth with grey blankets more often. The sun was hiding behind the clouds, as the fluffy white shapes overtook the sky. The rays barely peeked through them, unable to give light for the day. 

With the help of Eren’s new hardening technique, he was able to make a new weapon that saved many soldiers from here on out. Hanji was enraptured about it. This experiment, that was a success, was all she could speak about. Nothing else mattered in her mind, and Captain Levi knew that as well. 

Eren was pushed to the brim with this. Day after day, night after night, the boy was exhausted. They pushed him beyond his limits for the technique. Sometimes, he was in and out of consciousness. His titan form decreased in size, his bones would crack upon another transformation to the point where he couldn’t even stabilize himself with his own legs that had the width of twigs.

Fall soon turned over for the year and gave the duty of the seasons to Winter. Winter came rather hard, and quick at that. The harsh winds sent chills up and down the soldiers' spines as they paid their respects to their fallen comrades. An assortment of bouquets were placed in front of the many grey stones that represented a daughter, a son, a father or a mother. 

The dirt underneath the boots of the breathing was moist from the rain. The crunches of leaves was the only noise that rang in a soldier’s ears, despite the sobs from others. 

Eren couldn’t help but carry the burden. He felt as if it was his fault for their deaths. Their sacrifices, only to keep him alive and well. Humanity’s Last Hope. With the newfound memories from his father, he knew that everything laid in his hands. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

The seasons passed as they always did. Life in the walls became busy once more. In a year, the Scouts were able to wipe all the leftover titans in Wall Maria. This meant old residents of this wall were able to return to their homes and start all over again. There was nothing wrong with that, but it meant that the fight for their land was over.

Everyone seemed to show gratitude towards the Scouts. At first, they hated the soldiers who would risk their life to put an end to the Titans reign of power. Called them ‘fat pigs who lived off of our hard working money’. Many soldiers of course took offense to this, but decided to stay silent. After all, they were right about the hard working money. Their earnings were the only things that allowed them to have the supplies they needed to survive. 

Winter approached once more to the soldiers of the Survey Corps. Adjustments were made as they needed to happen. Hanji, was appointed as the new Commander of the regiment. The news of humans being Titans spread like wildfire between every man and woman in the walls. The children stayed oblivious. 

The outside word began to shine brighter if possible. The world was rid of the filth that the Titans had left behind. The grass was able to dance in the wind as flowers began to grow from the soil. Animals were able to come out from years of terror, finally realizing they were free. Even though the man eating creatures weren’t attracted to animals, the sight of any being over an average height could place fear into the hearts of anyone, including living creatures. 

The gust of wind blew against the windows of the rooms in the headquarters. Despite everything being closed, the nooks and crannies were able to fill the once warm shelter, making it cold and gloomy. 

The Levi squad, that consisted of those left over from the battle at Shinganshina, were put to cleaning duty. Of course, that’s what you guys always did when Captain Levi felt it was time for a new cleaning, which was about every other day. 

Currently, you got stuck in a room with Sasha and Connie. Your job was to clean the room, wipe the shelves, mop the floor, wipe the desk that was in there, make sure to sweep the room as well. It was a lot of tasks for a room that was meant for one person.

A hum vibrated in your throat as you stood on your tiptoes, using a rag that was given to you by the Captain, to clean the upper shelves. It wasn’t even that dirty. You would give it at least another few days before it needed to be cleaned. It was like Levi had a secret eye for spotting microscopic dust particles.  It was absurd to say the least.

Behind you were the other two, Connie and Sasha. They did do their work! They actually helped, but for some reason they decided nothing to. You could hear their giggles and the clanging of their broomsticks knocking against each other. The buckets getting knocked over with dirty water didn’t help either but hey, if they got in trouble that was on them. Least you were doing your part.

Maybe you could laugh from your room as you watched them run until their legs fell off, begging for mercy as the hot sun burned against their backs. It always amused you when the Lieutenant stared up at them, unamused. 

You flinched when you heard Sasha let out a screech and a cry of anguish discharged from Connie’s mouth.

“What are you guys doing?” you questioned as you swiveled on your heel, turning to face them. Connie’s ass had met the floor, a hand against the floor to keep him upright and the other on top of his head. Sasha on the other hand, still had her arms raised in the air, a look of revelating shock on her features. They seemed to be playing ninjas again by the way Sasha had her leg up and bent in a right angle. 

“She hit me, that's what she did!” Connie abruptly stated, looking up at the two girls in front of him. “You promised not to hit me! I never hit you!”

“It was an accident Connie! Your head just happened to come into contact with my hand! It wasn’t intentional, honest!”

“What’s going on in here?”

Your eyes widened as you held the wooden stick with a vice like grip to your chest. Your heart began to beat a bit faster than usual. Your posture straightened up as you turned around to look at the short man.”C-Captain Levi!”

The said man looked up at you, then turned his head to Sasha and lowered his gaze to Connie, who was still on the floor. No words were exchanged as he took a step back, realizing the mess that occurred. The cleaning supplies were scattered across the floor, the mop and brooms were on the floor instead of the hands of Sasha and Connie, and not to mention the dirty water was spilled and engraved into the rugs. Yeah, they were in deep shit. 

Without warning, Levi made a ‘come forth’ motion with his index finger, to the pair, glancing his silvery eyes to your stiff body. “Keep cleaning, I’ll make Eren come help you.”

“Yes sir!” you saluted him as fast as you could, internally shaking as the three of them walked out of the messy room. As soon as they left, you could hear yelling from the corridor and their terrified squeaks. 

A huff escaped your lips as you bent over, picking up the spare cleaning supplies. Looks like it would be awhile until someone else came to help you.

He said Eren right?

At the name of the boy, your face heated up as you shook your head rapidly, ignoring any thoughts of them. It was often that the brunette invaded your unconscious mind and overtook every crevice of it. His eyes were absolutely beautiful. They had to be your favorite part of him, besides his personality. The way the irises shined in the sunlight, the rays giving them an ethereal look. His lashes complimented them. They weren’t long, but they weren’t short. Whenever he stared at you, you swore you could just lose yourself in them.

His appearance was changing. His hair became longer and rested at the base of his neck. His shoulders began to broaden as he got a bit taller as the year passed. His loud mouth quieted down as he became more realistic with his goals. He was still the same driven boy you met three years ago.

“Hey.”

Your jaw slacked as you looked over your shoulder. Eren was standing in the door frame, as he looked down upon you. It took you a second to realize what position you were in, on your hands and knees with your back facing him. Scrambling off the floor, you swiftly fixed the shirt and pants of your uniform. “H-Hi Eren!”

Fuck you probably embarassed yourself in front of your own crush. He probably thought you were a weirdo.

“Hi Y/N,” he spoke calmly and walked into the room, brushing a strand of brown hair out of his face as he placed a hand on the desk, using it as leverage to crouch and grab a mop. “They made a big mess huh?”

“Yeah they did..they always manage to get themselves in trouble. Kinda shocked..how they lasted this long in the Levi Squad.”

An amused noise came from Eren as he looked out the window, squinting his eyes. Without speaking, he advanced forward to the glass and moved the curtain out of the way. “Well would you look at that..”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“It’s snowing,” he muttered and took a step back, letting the drapes loose from his hands. “Wonder how they’ll get punished.”

“No way it’s snowing?” you asked, ignoring his last words as you rushed to the window, placing your hands on the cold glass. You had just finished cleaning it, your hand prints would now be stuck to it. “Wow it is,” you whispered, a joyous feeling growing in the pit of your stomach. “We should go outside right now.”

“Now? Are you crazy? Captain Levi would punish us twice as hard than those two! We could probably be on our deathbed if we don’t get to work!”

“Oh hush up Eren! When was the last time we were able to have fun huh? Years right? Literally! Live a little!” you exclaimed, tossing the stick on the floor. 

The brunette grumbled in protest as he shook his head, his strands of hair following his movement. “Thanks but no thanks. I rather live my life peacefully.”

An annoyed groan left your lips as you approached him, your lower lip jutting in an agitated pout. “Come on Eren. Please? For five minutes I promise! Levi is probably on the other side of headquarters right about now!”

He turned his head to the side, his eyes piercing into yours. His eyes were dull, but the curve of his lip meant otherwise. His fingers slithered around the silver pole of the mop, the pads of them moving up and down slowly as if he was thinking about it.

“Guess it can’t be helped,” as dramatic as he was, he let out a loud sigh and dropped the mop of the floor. “Let’s go. Before Captain Levi rips us a new one.”

“You’re the best Eren!”

“Uh huh. Now hurry up!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

The two of you put on your winter coats. It was the same one as the ones you were given in your cadet years, just a bit more efficient. The hoods were over your head as you walked beside Eren in the falling snow. It could have looked like any soldiers left the building. Soldiers with no chores, is what you guys were going for. 

“I think we’re clear now,” you said as you took your hood off, looking around the vicinity. Eren glanced down at you and did the same, running a bare hand through his hair. 

“Well go crazy then. You brought us out here,”

“Shut up Eren,” a huff of air passed your lips, the fumes becoming visible to the eye as it turned to mist and disappeared. Your eyes wandered across the dark clouds in the sky, small white particles falling from the insides of them. The grass that you walked on, began to get covered by the blankets of snow, the crunching increasing underneath your boots as you moved an inch or two. Your fingers itched inside your pockets, begging to touch the white mess.

The tip of your nose began to grow cold as you let out a sniffle, scrunching your nose as well as your upper lip in the process. The cold was nothing compared to this though. Honestly, you wouldn’t have minded coming with someone else, but something about Eren made it ten times more special than a random person.

Eren watched you from his peripheral vision, staying silent as the shock and awe look on your face was enough for butterflies to appear in his stomach. You looked like a child in a jewelry store in Wall Sina. You had to have seen snow before, but it was just in the moment that made you look adorable. His cheeks burned with a rosy red as he looked away from you, craning his neck upwards to look at the grey blanket of darkness. If he looked close enough, he could see the sun trying to peek through the stubborn clouds, but to no avail, it could not.

He fluttered his eyes shut as he exhaled slowly, letting the days stress wash away from his body. Eren was exhausted. Emotionally, and physically. His body was used for experiments constantly, he rarely took breaks as he mentioned that he had to be ready for whatever. Emotionally, he hated his power. He hated being a monster like everyone said he was.

He attempted to be normal on so many levels. At first he knew he wouldn’t be better than those ugly creatures that used to roam the land. The townspeople weren’t his biggest fans. They tried persuading the Military Police to shut him down when he first found out about his shifting ability. It was horrendous. He just wanted to be seen as normal amongst those that were classified as a regular human being. 

He tried so hard, yet no one could listen to him. He couldn’t see himself as human. In his eyes, he was disgusting. He was ugly. He was a monster. 

Oblivious that Eren was in his own state of mind, you decided to take a moment to admire his looks. His eyelashes rested peacefully on the top of his cheeks, small puff of air exerted from his lips as his shoulders heaved up and down slowly. The tiniest of snowflakes landed on his supple skin, and melted away automatically from his warm body temperature. His hair started catching the fall snowflakes. The pieces of the small ice crystals scattered across his locks. He seemed like a snow angel, literally. The tip of his ears were a faint red, freezing from the cold atmosphere. 

He was alluring. You wanted to know more about him. You craved to hear his deepest of secrets that only you would know. You desired for him to be by your side, and for you to take care of each other. The only person that knew of your crush on the boy was his friends, Mikasa and Armin. 

Mikasa seemed to notice right away. In your third year of training, she took notice that you were more upbeat when Eren was nearby or you would try your best to be partnered with him, if she wasn’t already. Sometime in that year, she had approached you straight up, with the same look on her face and said--

“Do you like Eren, Y/N?”

“W-What do you mean?! Course I don’t like Eren!”

“You’re lying.”

She was in fact right. You begged her a hundred times not to bring it up to anyone, especially Eren. You would have rather been eaten by a titan, spit out and get devoured once more instead of having to confront Eren about your feelings. And of course since the universe loved messing with you, Armin happened to walk in on the moment you were begging with mercy and got curious as to what you were speaking about. 

“Y/N, do you like Eren?”

“No Armin, why would you think that?!”

“Yeah she likes him.”

“Mikasa!” 

At the embarrassing memory, you didn’t notice that Eren had already been staring at you, knowing that you were gazing up at him. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m not looking at you in any way! Why are you looking at me like that?!”

“I asked you first, Y/N!”

Panicking, you quickly bent over and grabbed a clump of snow, modeling it into a sphere as you muttered things under your breath. He couldn’t know why you were staring because you wanted to kiss him, oh god no he could not. 

“Y/N?”

“Shut up!” you said quickly and threw the ball of snow at his face, a sound of shock leaving your lips when a noise of surprise left Eren as the sphere slid off his face. He blinked rapidly a couple times, small clumps of white stuck to his eyelashes, making his eyes more alluring. 

“Did you just…”

“Yeah I did..”

It was silent as he crouched down, staring forward but not at you. His hand dug into the blanket of snow and modeled a ball, letting out a shaky sigh. His nose has gone incredibly numb already at this point. His fingers dug into the delicate shape as he made eye contact for a split second before winding his arm back, and brought it forward with full force.

Before you had a second of protection, the ice crystal came into contact with your neck, the shape exploding upon contact and sending pieces flying. Some even fell down your coat and into your uniform. “Eren what the hell?!”

“What?” his grin that has been gone for too long, made its way back onto his face once more. Your heart fluttered at the sight. He looked like his old self once again. As much as you wanted to admit it, you missed him. You missed Eren. “shouldn’t have done that if you weren’t ready for a comeback huh?”

“Oh it's on,” you grunted. 

Little kids is what you became once more. Your shouts and his laughter could be heard miles away from headquarters. Shots of snow were being sent back and forth from either side, some hits being successful, others not so much.

Both of you had to have looked the same by now. Your eyelashes were damp from the melted crystals, as well as chunks of snow staying on top of your hair. Your nose was frozen off as the snow came down a bit harder than you expected, but you didn’t care.

It seems like hours have passed since you’ve come out here with Eren. Chores were forgotten in the back of your mind as your smile seemed to brighten by each second. It was sure that the water stains in the room dried, but left a foul stench in there. Captain Levi would for sure come and hunt you guys down for leaving your job unfinished. 

A loud laugh left your mouth when Eren tripped over a covered branch. His body folded as he fell forward, a yelp withdrawing from his lips. His face came into contact with the snow, his body leaving a decent sized human hole in the ground.

“Eren are you okay?!” you called out for when you stopped laughing, small puffs of air leaving your mouth as you walked over to his limp body.

He grunted as he pushed himself up, giving you an annoyed look. “Yes I’m perfectly fine,’ he grumbled and shook his head, reminding you of a dog as the pieces of snow fell off of his head.

“Run.”

Puzzled, your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at him in curiosity. “I’m sorry, did you say run? Run for what?”

“Five.”

“Eren what the hell are you talking about?”

“Four.”

What the hell was he on about? If this was another one of his ramblings from his father’s memories, you would personally knock him out and tell him to quit it. But there was a different look in his eyes. His eyes were squinted, small creases formed at the corner of his eyes, a mischievous look in his orbs. His fingers clenched around nothing as he slowly got up from his position. 

“Three.”

Realization hit you like a wagon being pulled by horses as you took a step back cautiously, a small lump forming in your throat. Yeah, no. You rather not be crumbled to the ground by a boy, who weighed more than you. That was a death sentence.

Instead of running, because you wanted to be cautious of any possible injuries, you decided to speed walk in the direction of the doors that led to the inside of headquarters. He couldn’t try shit if you were already inside. God, why was Eren like this?

You didn’t even hear the crunches of the shoes from behind you as a pair of arms wrapped around your midsection and knocked you down onto the ground. With a sharp intake of air, your back collided with the pillowy bottom as you wheezed for air. Your eyes widened when you realized how close you were to Eren.

His hands were by your biceps, caging you underneath him. His brown locks fell forward, but they weren’t long enough to tickle your face. His cold breath fanned against your face as you felt yourself drown in his eyes. His eyes glanced down at your lips before looking into your eyes. He felt all of his willpower from keeping him sane. 

It seemed that his body moved on his own as he leaned down lower a fraction, as if he was getting ready to kiss you, but came to terms that it might not be the best idea. You took notice of it as you moved suddenly, bringing a hand up to his hood and pulled it over his head, making sure it covered his eyes. Your other hand raised up to his face, cupping the swell of his cheek as you leaned forward, pressing your cold lips against his own. 

His whole body tensed for a few seconds before melting into the kiss. His eyebrows furrowed as he sat you both up, cradling a hand behind your neck as if to bring you closer. Your hands moved from his hood to the front of his coat, your fingers curling around the material. A new sense of heat seemed to wash over your entire body. His fingers danced on the base of your neck, shivers running down your body, not only from the cold, but from his electrifying touch. With him being at an advantage, his forehead pressed up against yours. Your fingers weaved into his hair, slowly running up to his scalp, desperately trying to stay in the moment. 

He began to get shaky as he pulled away slowly, tugging on your lower lip with his teeth in the process. His eyes fluttered open as he took a look at your face. It looked like you were struggling to open your eyes after the kiss. It made him a bit prideful when he noticed this. 

“Open up,” he whispered, tapping your cheek with his fingers, a boyish smile on his face. He watched as your eyes fluttered open, a hazy look in your orbitals. 

“Hi Eren,” you forgot where you were as you glanced around the area, realizing you were still in the snow. “..I’m a bit cold.”

“Yeah? Me too,” he responded as he looked over your shoulder before pushing himself off of the ground, lending a hand for you. Gratefully, you took it as he hoisted you up. 

“Do you think Captain Levi found that we weren’t there?”

The boy stayed silent as he thought for a moment before shrugging. “Who knows. Maybe he did and he’s looking for us right now. I think we should go back then, before we get punished,” he muttered and grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. 

You stared down at his calloused palm rubbing up against your own. His hand was different. It was warm and it made you feel safe. Who knew a connection between hands was more than enough to know about your requited feelings. 

“Eren I like you,” you blurted out, your face heating up as you looked down at the ground, listening to the crunches underneath your feet as you advanced forward. 

“Yeah? I knew already.”

“Huh?!” A look of bewilderment and a choke of air was all you could express at the moment. Who betrayed you.

“How—“

“Mikasa,” he interrupted, a hint of smugness in his tone. “I asked her to find out for me last year.”

“Mikasa?” You whispered, voice wavering. You remember that she swore to not tell a soul, not even him. 

“But it worked out right?” He asked and looked down at you, a grin on his face. “You should really thank her one day. She may be silent, but she knows what she’s doing.”

You rolled your eyes as you nodded, hugging his arm close to your chest. “Yeah you’re right. Maybe we should both thank her. She does save your life after all.”

“Hey that’s one thing I would not do. I never asked for it!”

Your laugh could be heard from a few feet away in the midst of the snowfall. Fog began to cloud the outside word as you held onto Eren as a guide. 

Upon hearing your laugh, it made Eren feel human again. His heart was beating faster than normal, a sign that he was feeling another emotion besides fear. The touch of your hand set a fire full of adoration within him. 

Unbeknownst to the two teenagers, their short Captain watched with his hard eyes, his arms crossed over his chest. He had just checked up on Sasha and Connie, who were cleaning the stable and happened to come across the scene not too far away from him.

Instead of deciding to approach the pair and punish them, he let them have their fun. Even if Eren was one of the most hated people in all of Paradis, even the most hated deserved to have someone warm their heart.

[fanmoose12]

Have you ever done like a high school aged au except Levi and Hanji are penpals?

so levihan here aren't exacty penpals and it's a high school!au, but this idea has been living in my head ever since i received your ask so i hope you enjoy this fic, anon, because i dedicate it to you <333

As cliche as it sounded, but Hange never thought that her life was gonna be this way.

When she finished her journalistic degree, when she graduated from university on top of the class, everyone kept saying, "A bright future is ahead of you, Zoe. The whole world is at your fingertips..."

And Hange had believed them, Hange had expected it too. Uncovering the truth, saving people with the might of her words, making the world a better place one article at a time. Hange couldn't wait to get started and make her dream come true.

And then...

And then every serious newspaper turned her application down, not ready to give a chance for someone with a lot of skills and even more brains, but not enough experience, and then her pride got in the way, and so she didn't wish to settle for some local, small newspaper, refusing to waste her degree and years of hard work on some mediocrity.

And now, here she is - working as an advice columnist for Sina's Gossip.

Not a place Hange ever thought she'd end up at. Not a place she would have ended up at, if she had a choice. But she didn't have that choice, had taken it away herself when she refused offers from more respectable newspapers and didn't get a job at the place she had aimed for.

The magazine isn’t large, small enough for Hange not to know about it at all prior to receiving the job offer. She wouldn't have looked at that job offer twice, would have dismissed it immediately after seeing the name Sina's Gossip written on top, but as chance had it, she scrolled through the letter and saw the name at the end.

Erwin Smith.

The Erwin Smith, a local star who had disappeared from public eye some years ago. And now Hange knew where he had gone to.

He was only in his thirties, and already made a name for himself after he uncovered a conspiracy at the local pharmaceutical company. Just like Hange, perhaps even more so, he had a bright future ahead of him. But suddenly he quitted his job and founded his own magazine.

Hange would be lying if she said she wasn't at the very least a little bit intrigued at Erwin's sudden change of course.

That's why she agreed to a meeting with him. And that was her mistake.

Because Erwin turned out to be handsome, intelligent and charming to the point of ridiculousness. He smiled, spoke a few flattering words and next Monday Hange was already on her way to Sina's Gossip, where she started off as a mere copy editor.

It's been three years since that fated meeting, and Hange is still here, now promoted to an advice columnist. And, despite it not being what she dreamed of, despite working at a gossip magazine she used to despise... She likes it here.

She likes the people she works with, and she likes people she works for.

The letters people send her, asking for an advice or sharing their grievances, Hange likes them too. Enjoys reading them again and again, mulling over each word, looking at presented problem from each angle and doing her best to come up with the best advice possible.

Perhaps it's a simple wishful thinking or whispers of an ego she still hasn't lost, but Hange likes to think she helps these people. Solves their problems, guides them through trying times. Or brightens their day, at least.

She's not saving the world like she dreamt of, but she's making it a better place - or strives to, at least. Sometimes people she helped write her again, thanking for kind and wise words. Hange takes huge pride in that. The job pays well, enough for her to rent a small apartment and live comfortably, but it's these sincere words of gratitude that she treasures the most.

And what makes her hold onto her position in Sina's Gossip even more is the people that work alongside her. Erwin is a kind, if a little dorky man. And he gathered a team of similar people. They're all experts in their respective fields too, Erwin went through great lengths to get them all aboard.

When Hange just started working, the prospect of meeting new people made her more than a little bit nervous. As much as she liked other people and enjoyed getting to know them, getting along, truly belonging somewhere was always a problem for her. Too loud and too weird, she was usually an outcast.

But not at Sina's Gossips.

There, almost right from the beginning, ever since she walked through the glass sliding doors and met a tall man who started sniffing her, she knew she would feel right at home.

In the end, she wasn't wrong. The employees of Sina's Gossips became colleagues, then friends and then family.

She loves them all, even the grumpy midget who opens the door to her office without knocking, his face showing no ounce of friendliness or joy.

But— he's holding a cup of coffee in his hands, and even if Hange were truly annoyed, she'd forgive him just for that.

"Four-eyes," he says, a greeting and complaint at the same time. Hange lets it slide too. Levi hands her the paper cup with coffee, and it's still hot, almost burning her fingers. Lifting the cup to her lips proves that the coffee is black with three sugars, just as Hange always takes it. For that, she's ready forgive Levi any possible sin. "Are you neglecting your work once again?"

"No," that is an offence worth pouting, and Hange does exactly that. She wasn't neglecting anything, how could he even think about it. She's just been staring in the distance for... Hange glances at the clock on her computer screen... For almost ten minutes now.

Alright, maybe, Levi wasn’t completely wrong about that one. Not that Hange will ever admit it to him.

“Did you check the letters I send to you then?”

Hange blinks, a little startled. Letters? It’s the letters day already?

Another quick glance to her computer screen tells her that yes, it’s Tuesday and the letters day already.

Levi takes a seat at the other side of her desk with an irritated grumble. “I sent them to you last night, you ass.”

Hange snickers at the profanity. For an editor, Levi possesses a surprisingly foul mouth.

“I’m checking them now,” she bites her lip, opening the mail. Right beneath advertisements and notifications from her social media, there is a letter from Levi, just as he said there would be. Hange opens it, downloading the archive. As soon as she clicks on it, her eyes light up in anticipation. She starts scrolling down, swiftly going over each letter.

A father who doesn’t know what to give his estranged son for his tenth birthday…

A woman who is worried that her sister is dating a gangster…

A strange man who lost his pet lobster…

A teenage girl who isn’t sure what she wants more – to move to another city to the university of her dreams or stay at her hometown with her best friend and boyfriend…

Hange greedily drinks in every word, hurrying to get to the bottom. What if there is a letter from him…

Levi interrupts her by kicking her leg under the desk.

“I’m glad you finally decided to pay attention to your work,” he pauses, his scowl deepening. In her head, Hange finishes his sentence for him – but now, I want you to pay attention to me. God, Levi is just the cutest. So endearing and precious, and he tries to hide it so hard. Nothing gets past Hange, though. “But I didn’t come here to stare at your deranged smile.”

Obediently, Hange shifts her gaze from a screen to Levi, staring at him with a hand beneath her chin. “Why did come here then?”

“You have a meeting this Friday, remember?”

A meeting, meeting… It takes Hange a long moment to catch up with what Levi is talking about.

“A meeting!” she yells, when it dawns on her at last. She snaps her fingers, grinning at Levi. “Of course, a meeting, with that guy from, mm…” she frowns, tapping her forehead. “From Monkey Island?”

“Money Island,” Levi corrects, but he does so with a hoarse chuckle, and Hange mentally pats herself on a back.

After all, who doesn’t enjoy making their attractive co-workers laugh? Especially if they’re just as broody as Levi?

“Do you remember his name at least?”

“Zeke Yeager, right?”

“Right,” Levi nods, and it could be Hange’s imagination, but his face becomes just a little darker, and his voice just a little gruffer.

Hange’s senses start tingling…

“Do you know each other?”

And, yep, there it is – Levi purses his lips, turning his head to the side to mutter a quiet curse. “We’ve graduated from the same university.”

In what world that is a reason enough for such apparent dislike? Hange longs to know more, find out every possible detail.

Levi sees that desire reflect on her face, and sighs. “He’s an asshole,” he reveals. “Who loves his asshole little brother.”

It doesn’t explain much anyway, but Hange feels like it’s the best she can get out of Levi. She decides to surrender and quell her curiosity, just this once.

“This is the only reason why you came? To remind me about the meeting? I have an assistant for that, Levi.”

Lifting his thin eyebrow, Levi gives her a long look. Hange struggles not to fidget under it. What has gotten into him?

“You really don’t remember,” Levi shakes his head, his disappointment more than transparent. “Four-eyes, Berner is on a sick leave. Had been for three days already.”

Oh, right… that’s why no one answered when she yelled a greeting upon entering the office. That’s why she forgot about the letters day. And that’s why she was staring in the distance for almost ten minutes.

She awkwardly giggles, rubbing her neck. “It just slipped my mind.”

“Lots of things do,” Levi rolls his eyes. “Don’t forget about meeting with Yeager, though. He’s an asshole but—”

“But an important man,” Hange finishes for him. She knows that, can hardly forget about that, since Erwin is so adamant at reminding her every time they cross paths at the office. “I know, I know, that interview is important just as that Zeke is. It can make our magazine more popular and blah, blah, blah.”

“Not only our magazine,” Levi sharply retorts. “It’s a chance for you too, Hange. Don’t ruin it.”

There is an uncharacteristic intensity in his voice, one that turns Hange speechless.

It’s a surprise that Levi knows about her ambitions at all, of course, she told him same as she told practically every person she came across. One day, I’ll show you, I’ll show you all just how great I can be. But it’s a surprise Levi not only knows, but remembers about it. It’s a surprise that he seems to care whether she truly achieves her dreams or not.

“Do you wish to come with me?”

It tumbles out of her lips without a second thought. But just as her mouth starts moving, Hange realizes that she truly wants it, wants to have Levi there with her. As a moral support, if nothing more.

Levi doesn’t answer her right away. His eyes narrow, as he mulls it over with his hand on his chin.

“Zeke doesn’t like me,” he mutters. “I will only make it worse.”

“Or you will make it better,” Hange winks, pressing her elbows into the desk to lean closer to Levi. Now that she knows what she wants, she doesn’t hesitate to apply a bit of pressure. “Maybe, he secretly likes you.”

Levi scoffs, crossing hands on his chest. “I doubt it.”

Despite his curt answer, Hange knows that she is close. Levi is almost ready to break. To ensure that, she decides to play a little dirty. “Levi,” she tilts her head and pinches her eyebrows, sticking her bottom lip out. Her puppy eyes aren’t that impressive, not nearly as good as Nanaba’s, but, for some reason, they seem to always work on Levi. “Pretty, pretty please, will you go with me?”

Levi curses, and that’s how Hange knows that she won. “If I end up destroying your whole career, four-eyes,” he points a finger at her. “That’d be your fault.”

“If you ruin my career, that means I’ll stay here with you forever. Won’t that be splendid?”

He doesn’t say anything, but his face seems pensive, thoughtful. Something in Hange’s heart pangs at that.

“Are you going to Nanaba’s place this Sunday?” she asks to change the topic. And distract herself from the strange feeling Levi’s expression provoked.

“No,” Levi answers. Hange grins.

Levi always says no, always tells them that he won’t let them pull him into their shitty shenanigans again, always swears that this is the last time he dragged their drunk asses home.

And yet, he shows up time and time again. He complains, calls them idiots, drunken fools and disgraces to society, but he still shows up. If that’s not a sign of true friendship, Hange doesn’t know what true friendship is.

“Can’t wait to hang out with your broody mien, shorty!” she exclaims, laughing when Levi flips her off. “Don’t forget your gloomy attitude!”

“And don’t you forget about letters I sent to you,” Levi stands up, throwing his paper cup in a trash bin next to Hange’s desk. “You have two days to answer them all.”

“I know, I know,” Hange waves him off. “I don’t need you or Moblit to tell me how to do my job.”

Levi raises an eyebrow at that, looking overly skeptical. “Two days,” he dryly reminds her before leaving her small office.

For a moment more, Hange continues staring after him with a fond smile on her lips.

Back to work, Zoe, she shakes herself and returns her attention to the computer screen. Her mail is still opened there, and Hange scrolls down to the end, searching for a username she hopes will pop out.

Almost near the end, it does, and Hange can’t keep in a quiet squeal of delight.

wings_of_freedom@gmail.com

The username is a bit ridiculous, pompous even, so Hange opts for a shorter and, in her opinion, more accurate one – lover boy.

Every two weeks without a fail, that same user sends Hange a letter, asking for an advice. They all wary in everything, but the subject – a person the lover boy has a crush on.

What do I do to become closer to her, what is the best way to make her smile…

Each and every letter, without a fail, brightens Hange’s day, no matter how shitty it was. The care, affection and love that radiate from these letters melt her heart and strengthen her belief that the world is truly a wonderful place if kind-hearted people like him still live here.

Apparently, romance isn’t quite dead yet.

Gripping the edge of her chair to at least try and conceal her excitement, Hange eagerly opens the letter and starts reading.

Thank you for your last advice, as always, it helped.

We’re growing closer, at least, it feels like we do. However, there is another problem that I hope you can help me with.

Admittedly, I’m not very good with my words. I never know what to say to tell the others how I feel, and sometimes I can come as rough and rather rude. It’s a fault of mine I had ever since childhood, and, truth be told, it never bothered me much.

But with her… it’s a bit different.

She can take a joke, and I know she doesn’t really mind my manner of communicating, but, still, I wish I could show her just how much she truly means to me. Sometimes it seems like she doesn’t quite realize it. Doesn’t really understand just how amazing and wonderful she is.

I know that the subject is not exactly ordinary, but your advices helped in the past, and I believe it will help this time too. Even if it wouldn’t, it’d be interesting to read your opinion on that.

Thank you in advance.

After finishing the letter, Hange starts rereading it, rubbing her forehead in thought. The lover boy is right, the subject isn’t easy at all. The lack of details and context complicates things even further.

A lot of people struggle at communicating what they feel, and it’s especially true about romantic feelings. But different people struggle in different ways.

Someone like Moblit, for example, is open enough with his affection, but he’d stutter to death sooner than confess to someone.

Someone like Erwin can charm pretty much anyone. His carefully crafted words and easy, handsome smile do all the job for him, but his words are crafted just a little too carefully and his smiles come a little too easily, and, as a result, he only rarely comes off as truly sincere.

And then there is Levi, whose walls are higher than skyscrapers and mightier than a fortress. But once you get past them, once you invest enough time and effort to break them down, you’ll find a gentle, caring man, who just isn’t used to showing his true feelings.

Hange can only guess what type the lover boy is.

Sighing, she decides to leave his letter for now and deal with it after she finishes with the rest. Somehow she feels that finding a lost lobster would be much easier than dealing with that particular dilemma.

***

A couple of busy days, filled with Erwin's warnings - Hange, remember the reputation of our agency rests on your shoulders, Nanaba's cheerful encouragements - you can do it, Hange! you'll charm the guy in no time, I know you will, Mike's horrible jokes - if you can't charm him, just ask Levi to punch him, that might do the trick too, and Moblit's frantic remindings, spoken over the phone in a throaty voice, later Hange and Levi arrive to the café Zeke had chosen for their meeting.

“It looks fancy,” Hange whispers to Levi, eyeing the entrance with a slight pout. “I didn’t know it’d be so fancy.”

“That’s Zeke for you,” Levi grunts. “Fancy asshole.”

“R-right,” suddenly every single precaution Erwin had told her come back, more frightening than ever. “Let’s just get this over with.”

The inside of the café seems even fancier, and Hange spares a longing look at her attire – an over-sized yellow pullover thrown over a light green plaid shirt with a brown khakis and worn-out converses. It’s not something one would call professional or stylish, not that she owns anything much better… but now Hange wishes she at least combed her hair.

She doesn’t know what Zeke looks like, hasn’t bothered with looking him up, since Levi is accompanying her, but she easily spots him even without Levi’s help.

Just as the café’s entrance, just as its interior, Zeke looks fancy. He’s not overdressed, in his dark green shirt and light cardigan he is all but casual, but damn, he is one of the leading journalists at the magazine called Money Island, and it clearly shows.

Levi wasn’t wrong about the fancy part, but he also failed to mention that Zeke is handsome. Extremely so. Blond and bearded, he is not exactly Hange’s type, but, well… there are exceptions to every rule.

Not just attractive, but, apparently, Zeke is a gentleman too.

He rises from his seat as soon, as he sees Hange, a blinding in its brilliance smile curving his thin lips.

“Hange Zoe,” he greets and eagerly shakes her hand. “I’m so happy you’ve come.”

The smile doesn’t leave his face, doesn’t even diminish, but his eyes narrow ever so slightly, when they land on Hange’s companion.

“I didn’t know you’d bring a friend.”

His voice is friendly, if only a little surprised, but his eyes are colder than they’d been before.

“It’s our editor,” Hange pats Levi’s back. “Levi—”

“We’ve met before,” Zeke’s still showing that same smile, but there is just enough frost in his voice to tell Hange that there is no secret affection between him and Levi.

“I’m glad Hange invited me to trail along. It’s nice to see you again, Zeke.”

Levi doesn’t bother hiding his sarcasm or schooling his expression in something more amicable. Hange rolls her eyes and kicks him as soon as Zeke turns around.

Will it kill you if you try to act a little friendlier? her gaze asks him.

I warned you about this, Levi’s huff answers.

Oh, well. At least, he didn’t call her four-eyes in front of Zeke. Clearly, that’s an improvement.

Hange sighs and sends a quick prayer that this meeting won’t turn into a complete disaster. She sits down in a booth across from Zeke and hopes that her smile will be enough to counter any possible tensions.

“The strawberry cupcakes are exceptionally good here,” Zeke notes, when a waitress bring them menus.

Without looking up from a menu, Hange nods. The prices in this café are much higher than she is comfortable with. She’d never bring her friends here, but, well… Zeke isn’t a friend, so Hange swallows down her discontent and orders herself a coffee with a strawberry cupcake.

She doesn’t even like strawberry cupcakes.

“Let’s start, shall we?” Zeke says after three of them receive their orders.

Hange takes a sip from her coffee – it’s honestly not that good to be so pricey – and tries to look composed and professional.

Truth be told, she doesn’t know why she is here. An interview, Erwin told her, but why would anyone want to interview her? She’s not a celebrity – not an actor or an artist, she’s a journalist, who works for a small, local magazine.

Why would a person like Zeke and a magazine like Money Island be interested in someone like her?

“I’ve prepared a small list of questions…” Zeke takes out his tablet, turning it on. “Are you ready to begin?”

“Yes,” Hange says, smiling when she feels Levi’s calf press to hers in a silent encouragement.

“So tell me more about yourself – your hobbies, talents outside of work…”

It starts easy like that, and Hange loses herself in her ramblings so much that she doesn’t notice that Zeke isn’t taking any notes.

But after a few trivial questions – what do you like about journalism, what made you choose this career path, what are subjects you’re most passionate about – everything gets just a little bit stranger.

“What are your greatest strengths?” Zeke asks, then follows it with, “What are your greatest weaknesses?”

Where do you see yourself in five years? What’s your dream job? Do you consider yourself successful?

One question after another tumbles out of his lips, and soon Hange realizes.

It’s not a simple interview, it’s a job interview.

A confused look Levi sends her confirms her suspicion.

“Mister Yeager?” Hange calls after a question about how she prefers to be managed.

“Call me Zeke,” he retorts charmingly.

“Zeke,” she forces a smile and hopes it doesn’t look too fake. “I don’t wish to appear rude… but what is the meaning of this? I thought you wanted an interview for your magazine?”

“It’s more for me than Money Island,” Zeke confesses. “I wish to get to know you better.”

Beside her, Levi tenses. Amongst the noise and clutter of the café, Hange can almost hear the sound of his teeth gritting. She doesn’t spare a glance in his direction, too busy gawking at Zeke.

“May I ask…” she clears her throat, feeling too far away from her comfort zone. “…Why?”

“Sina’s Gossips is a fairly small magazine,” Zeke begins, his voice as sugary as a strawberry cupcake before Hange. “But it became ten times more popular after you started working there. Clearly, you have a lot of potential, and something tells me that advice columnist is not your dream position. So I thought you’d be interested in my offer.”

“Your offer?”

“To change your workplace.”

“But I have no experience in the finance area.”

“I’m willing to give you a chance,” Zeke says graciously. “You’ll have to be approved my by superiors first, of course, and then you’ll need to undergo a bit of training...”

Hange can’t help but frown. “I can’t just abandon my previous position like that.”

“I’m not asking you to. Not now, at least.”

“So what exactly it is that you want?”

It’s Levi who asks, and his low, almost menacing voice startles Hange. She turns to look at him, but his face is as guarded and neutral as it always is.

Zeke raises an eyebrow, his expression curious as he studies Levi. But when he shifts his attention back to Hange, the same handsome smile is already plastered on his lips. “I want to offer a collaboration project. We can use your platform to let people ask things, not about their everyday struggles, but to ask you for an advice about their finance related problems. Our magazine can advertise it, and this will help to expand both yours and ours audience. And…” Zeke pauses, lowering his voice just a fraction. “It will give us a chance to see if you’re up to the job at Money Island or not.”

“I…” it’s a lot to take in, and, naturally, Hange struggles to find her own words. That’s why she’s so grateful when Levi decides to step in.

“We have to discuss with our boss first. Then we can give you a definite answer.”

There is an edge to Zeke’s smile that tells Hange exactly what he thinks about Levi’s interruption. However, it disappears instantly, in a blink of an eye. With his features much more relaxed, Zeke waves a waitress over and asks to bring them a bill.

“I’ll be waiting for your answer,” he says as he stands up. “I enjoyed our time together, Hange Zoe. And I know our companionship will bring me just as much pleasure. I hope we’ll keep in touch.”

He leaves after that, but Hange isn’t yet ready to go. She pushes the cupcake around the plate, mulling it over.

“What do you think?” she asks Levi after five minutes of silence.

“What do you think?” he shoots back, and Hange scoffs, kicking him under the table.

“I asked you first.”

Levi doesn’t answer immediately. He stares at her for a long moment, and there is something in his eyes, something Hange can’t quite understand the meaning of. She wants to know, though, almost asks him, but then Levi breaks the eye contact and slumps back in his chair.

“You’ve always wanted to do something more, right? It’s your chance, Hange.”

“And…” she swallows a heavy lump in her throat and briefly wonders where it had come from. Levi is right, that what she always wanted. Then why she is so hesitant to even entertain the idea? “Do you think I should take it?”

“It’s your chance,” Levi repeats.

He stands up and wraps his hand around her elbow to push Hange up too. His touch is too careful, almost gentle, and the confusion inside her continues to grow.

“Let’s go back to work,” he says, and adds in a voice so quiet, Hange almost misses it. “You did well, Hange.”

***

Hange goes to find Erwin as soon as they return to the office. She doesn’t tell him about the second part of Zeke’s offer, about the possibility that she’ll soon leave Sina’s Gossips and all of its employees, and focuses only on their future collaboration. Erwin listens to her frantic retelling with a calm, attentive face. He agrees to Zeke’s offer without much thought.

“That is,” he hastily adds, “if you wish to proceed with it, Hange. I don’t wish to force you, so if it’s not something you’re interested in...”

“No, no,” she shakes her head and hopes that the smile she forces on doesn’t look pained. “I’ll be happy to work on this project.”

Is she truly happy, though? Hange isn’t sure anymore.

***

She spends the whole evening and most hours of night thinking about it.

She goes to the Money Island’s website and reads most of their recent articles. She googles the most prominent employees and reads about them too, every bit of information she can get her hands on.

When the sun is starting to peek out from the horizon, Hange looks up Zeke. She finds out he has his own youtube channel, where he talks – no surprise here – about finance.

Being rich is easy

God, even the name of the channel reeks of arrogance.

But Hange has to admit – Zeke is good at what he’s doing. His pretentious manner of speaking and his apparent habit of scratching his ear is a little irritating, but he talks with confidence and ease that shows just how much knowledge and experience he has.

His videos are engrossing and his articles are, without a doubt, extremely well-written.

Hange likes Zeke, finds him interesting enough, but what he talks and writes about… she can’t help but think that it’s a bit too dull for her taste.

And it’s ironic, it’s foolish, she should be on a cloud nine from the opportunity presented to her. Hange feels like she would have been on a cloud nine… Three years ago.

But now she has a job she loves and people she loves working with. Should she really leave it behind just like that? Can she?

Then again, can she leave behind a dream she nurtured for as long as she could remember? Can she forget about every ambition and desire?

She doesn’t find an answer to that in the evening, it doesn’t come to her during the night.

And Hange can only hope that she’ll be able to answer it when the time comes.

***

But, instead, Saturday comes, and Hange forces these thought out of her head.

She wants to forget about her doubts, and with Nanaba’s fingers in her hair, a bottle of cold beer in her hands and Mike’s deep voice in her ears, forgetting about everything else is surprisingly easy.

They’re at Nanaba’s summer house, gathered around a brightly-lit brazier. Hange is warm, relaxed and content. Mike’s story about some fisherman from his hometown is a little boring, but Nanaba remedies that fault by whispering sarcastic comments to Hange.

When Mike’s thrilling tale is finally over, Erwin clears his throat, attracting everyone’s attention.

“In case some of you didn’t know, Hange had a very peculiar meeting yesterday…”

“Right,” Nanaba’s grin is too wide and gleeful for Hange’s taste, and when Nanaba fixes her eyes on her, Hange involuntarily squirms. “Very peculiar indeed.”

Knowing but not liking where this is going, Hange leaves the warmth of Nanaba’s lap and moves away. This action brings her to Levi’s side, and he tenses, but doesn’t protest which Hange takes as a sign that she can become a little bolder and lean on his shoulder.

Perhaps, he’ll shield her from Nanaba’s curiosity. Although, Hange has to admit that it’s highly unlikely. No one can stop Nanaba if she gets curious about something. Hange always admired that about her. Not now, though.

“So tell us, Hange,” Nanaba slowly begins, her eyes glinting in the light of the fire. Hange takes a quick survey, and confirms that, yep, everyone is looking at her. Apparently, Nanaba is not the only who is curious. “Did you have a good time?”

“Well, Zeke’s offer looks promising, and that project certainly is intriguing…”

“God, leave that boring stuff to Erwin,” Nanaba rolls her eyes.

Mike agrees with her by adding, “Not everyone here is as nerdy as you two.”

“Exactly,” Nanaba nods. “We want to know more about Zeke. Is he handsome?”

Perhaps, it’s the beer or the warm atmosphere or the fact that everyone – including Levi – is looking expectantly at her, but Hange chuckles and says, “Very much so. Not in the way our fearless leader is,” she salutes Erwin with a bottle, enjoying the slight blush that appears on his cheeks. “But he’s still attractive.”

There is pure wickedness in Nanaba’s gaze, when she leans a little closer to Hange and asks, “Is he as handsome as Levi?”

Hange chokes on her beer. Her eyes water as she coughs it out, her throat is sore, but with the help of Levi’s gentle pats, Hange manages to get her breathing back under control.

She glares at Nanaba as soon as she straightens out, but then remembers the stupid question and feels color rise to her face. She can blame it on a coughing fit. Probably. Hopefully.

“It depends on one’s preferences…” she mumbles, hating how weak her voice sounds.

Nanaba is merciless, though. “What’s your opinion then?”

It takes Hange more than a moment to gather enough courage to sneak a glance at Levi. Their eyes meet, but for no more than a heartbeat. Levi looks away instantly, his hands clenching into fists.

Hange decides to be honest then. Her gaze still fixed to Levi, she murmurs, “No, Zeke is nearly not as handsome as Levi.”

Nanaba coos, Mike guffaws and Erwin simply smiles, like that is exactly the kind of answer he expected.

Levi doesn’t react at all, but Hange is still pressed against him and so she feels – he relaxes considerably.

Hange relaxes too, and moving closer to his ear, she whispers, “Hey, help me get revenge on Nanaba.”

The look in Levi’s eyes is positively evil, wicked enough to send a shiver down a spine. Hange feels that shiver acutely, but… not because it scares her. Truthfully, it has a diametrically opposite effect on her.

“With great pleasure, four-eyes.”

“Oi, Nanaba!” Hange calls. She doesn’t know what to say next, finds it hard to concentrate with Levi so close to her, but she trusts he’ll back her up.

As always, he doesn’t disappoint.

“Is that your lipstick on Mike’s neck?”

There is no lipstick on his neck, Nanaba isn’t even wearing one, but they both panic and they both exchange quick glances. It’s enough of an evidence to make everyone laugh.

Mike is smiling, as he pulls Nanaba closer, tucking her under his arm. “We really suck at being discreet, aren’t we, Nana?”

“That we are,” she agrees with a smile as gentle and loving as Mike’s. “I guess there is something we want to tell you then.”

“About damn time,” Erwin shakes his head. “Do you know how many times I’ve caught you making out in the supply closet? I was getting tired of keeping quiet about it.”

“You didn’t keep quiet about it,” Levi grumbles. “Every time you caught them you ran to tell me.”

“And then me,” Hang gleefully adds.

Nanaba and Mike groan in unison, their faces red as tomato.

“We have the worst friends ever.”

Hange laughs. She very much begs to differ.

***

Beers and constant laughter very soon make all of them sleepy. That’s how Hange finds herself sandwiched between Erwin and Mike on a bed in the guest room, and though there is enough space for another person to fit in, Nanaba claims the master bedroom, and Levi takes one look at them and retires to the living room, sprawling over the couch.

In Erwin and Mike’s arms Hange feels safe and content. Her previous doubts take a seat back and let her enjoy the night with her friends. Thankfully, sleep comes to her that much easier than it did last night.

It doesn’t last for long, though.

The sun still isn’t up, but the world isn’t dark anymore, when Hange wakes up from her slumber.

Erwin is snoring into her ear, but there is a vacant place to her left, where Mike used to sleep. It’s not hard to guess where he had disappeared to, and Hange allows herself a small smile at the expanse of her friends’ happiness.

She doesn’t feel like sleeping anymore, so she throws one blanket over Erwin and snatches another one, wrapping it around her shoulders. With her feet bare and still dressed in a pajama shorts and Mike’s t-shirt that almost reaches her knees, she leaves the room and goes downstairs, walking outside. She takes a seat at a porch swing and draws a slow, deep breath, taking in the beauty around her.

The world is only starting to wake up, and grey color is more prominent than anything else, but there are just enough soft shades of purple, blue and pink to make up for it. Nanaba’s house sits just at the edge of a clearing that leads to a small lake, and the morning brings thick streak of fog that spreads over crystal surface.

It’s beautiful enough to take her breath away, and Hange loses herself in the calm, gentle feeling that finds its way inside her.

That feeling is strong enough to hide the sound of soft footsteps that approach her. Hange notices someone else’s presence only when the swing starts moving. She startles, her head darting to the side, but relaxes instantly, when she sees Levi’s sharp profile. He’s holding two cups of steaming tea in his hands, and hands one cup to Hange.

“Thank you,” she smiles, inhaling the sweet aroma of tea. It tastes just as sweet as it smells, she realizes after taking the first sip. Then, she turns her attention back to Levi. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“No, I usually wake up at this time. Insomnia,” he says, and, right, now Hange remembers something-something about Levi sleeping not nearly enough for a normal human being. “Heard that you woke up and decided you might want a company.”

“How did you know that it was me who woke up?”

Levi gives her a short glance before shrugging and returning his gaze back to the scenery in front of them. “Your steps are different,” he answers, like it explains everything.

It does explain everything for Levi, Hange muses. He works in a strange, obscure way, so very different from other people. That’s why Hange likes him. That’s why she feels so comfortable with him.

Perhaps, it’s a fault of a dim, morning light or, perhaps, it’s her own sleepiness that changes her perception, but Levi looks a little different, softer around the edges. Because of it, Hange allows herself a small indulgence and moves close enough for their shoulders to touch.

Just a fraction, barely an inch, but she feels Levi move closer as well.

All of it – the colors merging on a horizon, the fog that makes everything look almost ethereal, the sweet tea made by Levi, Levi himself – fuse together to create an impossibly light, gentle feeling that very rarely visits Hange.

In that moment she feels happy, so happy that not even a brief thought of what’s going to happen if I leave is enough to ruin that mood. She simply drowns that pesky doubt down with tea and turns to look at Levi.

“I’m so lucky to have met you all,” she reveals to him in a quiet voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy before.”

Levi stares at her, and there is something in his eyes, something fierce and at the same time vulnerable that Hange can’t quite understand. She isn’t sure she wants to, not now, at least.

“Let’s stay like this,” she says, almost a plea. “At least, for a little while.”

“As you wish,” Levi agrees easily as though… as though whatever is it that she wants, he’ll get her.

The thought is both comforting and terrifying. Comforting, because it means he cares about her, because it means she’s not alone anymore.

And terrifying, because it makes her happy, and Hange isn’t sure she’d be able to part with that happiness, when the time comes.

***

No matter how much Hange wants to prolong that fuzzy feeling and stay in that small bubble with her friends, all too soon the weekend ends. Monday comes and with it arrives a new wave of responsibilities.

But not only responsibilities return – Moblit does too, and as soon as she sees him, Hange hugs him close to her chest, laughing when he starts complaining that she squeezes him too much.

“It’s been too quiet without your nagging!” Hange pats him on a back, smiling from ear to ear. “And you’ve missed one hell of a party! We’ve been sleeping so peacefully without your snores.”

“You like my snores,” Moblit argues, and he is right to do so. Moblit’s throaty snores lull her to sleep better than any lullaby. Besides, cuddling with him is always a delight, his tummy softer than any pillow. “And I’ve heard about that party already,” he continues with an almost sly look. “Nanaba told they found you and Levi getting cozy on a porch.”

Hange huffs, turning away from his knowing look. “I see Nanaba’s obsession with gossips is infectious.”

“It’s Sina’s Gossips we’re working at. Love for gossip is the requirement to get a position here,” Moblit jokes, and Hange shakes her head with a low chuckle.

Moblit’s been absent for just a week, but it was enough to make her miss him like crazy. She’s glad he is back. And more than anything, she wants to chat some more, but the work doesn’t wait.

She contacts Zeke as she drinks her first cup of coffee, and not even five minutes pass before he schedules another meeting with her.

There is no need for your editor to join us this time :)

Hange isn’t sure what irritates her more – Zeke’s apparent dislike of Levi or the stupid emoji.

However, Erwin’s words ring in her ear, yet another reminder that this is important, Hange, we can’t afford to blow this off, especially not with a man like Zeke on board. So she replies him with a stupid emoji of her own, and, gritting her teeth, adds that she is looking forward to their meeting.

Then, not wanting to repeat her last mistake, Hange checks the place Zeke has invited her to. This time it’s a restaurant, and a flashy one at that. The time he sets the meeting for – seven pm – is another hint that it is not a casual meeting, and therefore she needs to wear something better than her usual clothes.

She isn’t sure she can pull it off all by herself, though, and she isn’t sure there is at least one item of clothing in her closet that can be classified as fancy, so Hange asks Nanaba to help.

Nanaba agrees instantly, her eyes brightening up at the prospect. She promises to come over at the evening of the meeting with Zeke, bring some new clothes for Hange and pick up something classy.

At five pm sharp, just two hours before her meeting, Nanaba shows at Hange’s place, holding two large packages.

She doesn’t come alone, and with wide eyes Hange watches how Mike, Moblit and Levi trail inside her apartment after Nanaba.

“Erwin couldn’t make it, because he’s old and boring,” Nanaba cheerfully informs her. “But he asked to send him pictures of every look I’d pick for you.”

“Has anyone told you how wicked and vile you are?” Hange asks her with a glare that could almost rival Levi’s.

“Mike makes sure to tell me this regularly,” Nanaba flippantly replies. “Now go and get changed! We don’t have all evening.”

It takes five changes of clothes to finally find something that satisfies Nanaba’s fashion sense and doesn’t make Hange feel like she’s out of her element.

She is dressed in a dark brown suit with a black shirt underneath, and after Nanaba makes a controlled mess out of her hair, Hange has to agree – she looks very good.

“Let’s show you to the boys,” Nanaba whispers before taking a quick photo for Erwin. She pushes Hange into the living room, where Mike, Moblit and Levi are already waiting for her, all of them nursing a bottle of beer. “We’ve got yes from Erwin!” Nanaba cheerfully announces after checking her phone.

“That’s a definite yes from me too,” Mike nods in agreement.

“You look so handsome,” Moblit says earnestly, despite his shy smile.

Levi doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t tear his eyes away from Hange either. As she waits for his verdict, Hange wonders if the desire to change her look, because Levi obviously doesn’t like it, is simply stupid or downright pathetic.

“Levi,” Nanaba glowers at him, when the silence stretches for far too long.

Hange wants to deflate the tension with some joke, but then Levi clears his throat. “Not bad, four-eyes,” he says, making her heart stumble. “Go get that stupid monkey.”

Hange wants to hug him, so, so much, but she’s afraid to ruin the suit, so she settles on thanking him with a bright, happy smile.

Levi’s expression softens like that is all the thanks he desires.

“Continue making heart eyes at Levi, and you’ll miss your little meeting, Hans,” Nanaba whispers.

Hange hopes the red on her cheeks will be interpreted as anger, but Nanaba is right – she has to hurry, all this effort would be in vain if she arrives even a little too late.

“C’mon,” Mike wraps an arm around her shoulders. “We’ll give you a lift.”

Hange smiles, feeling so grateful – to all of them. She wouldn’t be ready for this evening if it wasn’t for Nanaba, she probably wouldn’t get that deal with Zeke if it wasn’t for Levi, her column wouldn’t be so successful if it wasn’t for Moblit’s assistance and Mike’s constant help, she wouldn’t have this job, this family if it wasn’t for Erwin who decided to hire her.

They all wish her luck one last time at the entrance of the restaurant. Nanaba and Moblit fruitlessly try to peek inside and get a glimpse of Zeke, when Levi wraps his hand around her wrist, dragging Hange aside.

“It’s Tuesday,” he says matter-of-factly.

More than a little confused, Hange blinks, then nods in affirmative, she knows it’s Tuesday, she’s not that disorganized.

“It’s Tuesday,” he repeats, tilting his head just so.

It is only then, to Hange’s shame, that she finally understands what he means.

“The letters, right?” she grins, proud of her own quick-wittedness. It took her only a moment to guess.

“I sent them over already. If you won’t be too exhausted after the meeting…”

“I’ll check them out as soon as I get home,” she promises.

There is nothing else to say, nothing else to do but walk away from Levi and inside the restaurant, where Zeke is probably waiting for her. Still… Hange is reluctant to leave. There is something between her and Levi, something almost tangible, and it keeps her glued to his side.

This feeling, it grows bigger, harder to ignore, until—

Until it disappears, when Nanaba tugs at her hand. Hange allows her friend to pull her away from Levi, stopping just for a second to turn around and wave him goodbye. Levi’s face is set in the usual scowl, but his gaze softens, and it fuels Hange with determination and resolve.

She looks around and, encouraged by her friends’ unwavering support, steps inside the restaurant.

***

Just as Hange predicted, Zeke is already there. When he notices her approach, he stands up and with a dazzling smile and pulls a chair for her.

“Hange Zoe,” he all but purrs. “You’re absolutely ravishing tonight.”

His words are too sweet, Zeke himself is too sweet to seem genuine, but Hange gives him a smile nevertheless. His compliment doesn’t succeed in making her heart race like Levi’s quiet ‘not bad, four-eyes’ did, but it still pleases her.

She doesn’t believe he truly means it, knows that Zeke uses flirting to get something out of her, but, oh well… if a man like Zeke Yeager wants something from her… isn’t it already fluttering?

“I took a liberty to order for you myself, if you don’t mind,” Zeke says.

Hange does mind, not that she can express it now, after Zeke already ordered. That’s exactly what he was counting for, Hange can very well see it – in the slight curve of his mouth and an amused shine in his eyes.

“As long as the meal is delicious,” she murmurs slyly.

Zeke laughs, and Hange mentally congratulates herself. Erwin would be so proud.

Speaking of Erwin…

“My boss agreed to your offer, he’s very interested in it and hopes…”

“Hange,” Zeke cuts her off with a wave of his hand. “We have work email to discuss things like that. Delicious food, beautiful night… why don’t we simply enjoy it? We can talk about work later.”

Hange frowns, looking at the man before her intently. For the life of her, she can’t comprehend what does he want from her.

“You’re a journalist with bright future ahead of you,” Zeke says, like he knows what exactly Hange is thinking about. “I want to help you succeed, but, aside from that, you’re an intriguing person. I simply wish to get to know you better. Is it so bad?”

Either she really sucks at reading people, or Zeke is that good of an actor, but… he seems genuine enough. Hange struggles with keeping her suspicion.

Before she can give him an answer, their food is brought in. The plate before Hange looks more expensive than she could probably afford, and she is pretty sure she won’t be able to even pronounce the name of a dish, but she takes a first bite, and… can barely resist a moan.

It’s good, really good – spicy but not bitter, and just crunchy and juicy enough.

“Is it delicious?” Zeke quirks an eyebrow, smug and amused.

The dish is so tasty, Hange can’t find it in herself to snap at him. “It’s perfect,” she confesses, sending another slice into her mouth.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it, to be honest, I was quite nervous about your reaction.”

Zeke doesn’t look nervous in the slightest, but if he’s so dead-set on playing a gentleman tonight, Hange can indulge him.

“So what exactly do you want to know about me?” she asks, pouring wine in both of their glasses.

“Ah, right,” Zeke pushes the glasses up his nose. “The first thing I’m interested in…”

***

They spend the whole dinner talking, jumping from one topic to another. Despite his arrogance, Zeke is an interesting man, he knows how to entertain and engage his companion, and so very soon Hange loses herself in conversation with him.

Time flies fast, and when they stand up from the table, Hange is shocked to discover that it’s almost ten in the evening.

Zeke remains a gentleman till the very end, and after paying their bill, he drives Hange home. He stops just outside of her apartment block, and when he turns off the engine, Hange knows she is ought to say something.

“I had fun. Thank you for the evening.” She says, and she means it. She doesn’t feel nearly as happy as when she is with her friends from Sina’s Gossips, but Zeke proved to be a good company. Hange is looking forward to working with him.

“I should be the one thanking you,” Zeke tilts his head, ever the charmer. “I’ll see you again?”

“Sure,” Hange agrees and gets out of the car. “Good night,” she yells into his open window and then hurries up the steps to her apartment.

Exhaustion sips into her bones the moment Hange crosses the threshold. She kicks off the shoes and takes off the suit, trudging up to the shower. Once she is clean and fresh, she falls onto her bed and gets under the blankets. Only then, Hange remembers her conversation with Levi.

With the last bit of her energy, she takes the phone into her hands and unlocks it, going immediately to the mail. She isn’t awake enough to read all the letters, so she just quickly scrolls through them. A thank you message from a man who found his lobster… a distraught mother who doesn’t know how to communicate with her son… a middle-aged teacher with a mid-life crisis… Hange scrolls further down, until she sees a familiar username.

She smiles and opens the letter.

Good day, and thank you again for the last advice. Admittedly, I was a bit skeptical about it, “trust that she knows you well enough” seemed just that side of too easy, but I think she does know me well enough to see through my rude exterior. What’s more, I think she knows me well enough to see things I don’t even wish to show her. I can’t yet decide if that’s a good thing, or a terrifying one.

Alas, there is another problem, one that bothers me constantly.

Without getting too much into details… there is a chance she might leave the company we both work for. I know it might not seem that awful, we can still remain friends even if we don’t work together, but… I’m afraid we’ll drift apart when she leaves. Without common ground, without our friends bringing us together, she wouldn’t have a reason to talk to me. Maybe, she wouldn’t even want to.

But that’s not the thing that bothers me the most. She hasn’t yet decided if she wants to leave or not, and, as much as I am reluctant to let her go, I… I wish she follows her dreams, even if they tear us apart. But she’s perceptive, and, as I’ve mentioned before, she knows things about me that I very well try to hide. So what if she learns about my reluctance? What if it somehow influences her final decision?

I don’t wish for that to happen, whether she stays or she leaves, I don’t want to be her reason for either.

Because if she grows to be unhappy about that decision… I don’t think I’ll be able to take.

I… don’t think I’ve explained my point clear enough, maybe, because it’s not clear enough in my mind too. However, as always, I put my trust in you.

You haven’t left me down before, after all.

Thanks for bearing with me. Hopefully, it’s not the last time.

Hange groans in frustration, as she comes to an end of the letter. Here she was hoping to receive some sweet news from her lover boy, but he presented her with another dilemma instead. And one that is so similar to hers too. Maybe, it’s a sign, a way of universe telling her… something. The message is not yet clear enough.

Perhaps, with a little time, she’ll be able to decipher it. But as for now, Hange decides, putting the phone on top of the bedside table, the only thing she really, really needs is sleep.

And, thankfully, it comes to her easily.

***

The next day Hange dives deep into work and stays in the depth of articles, lectures, textbooks and letters from readers for entire two weeks.

In almost everything, Zeke is the one to assist her. Email exchange, video calls, personal meetings… because of all that, Zeke seems to be constantly by her side.

He invites her to his company, organizes the tour around the offices, introduces her to every employee. They’re nice, Hange supposes. Overly politely and unnaturally friendly, but that’s to be expected from total strangers.

Zeke shows her his office – a big room with glass walls and large window that overlooks the city. It drives to a point just how different their newspapers are. It almost makes Hange self-conscious about inviting him to her own office. Thankfully, Levi is there to chase away any discomfort.

As soon as Zeke gets inside their office, Levi is there, glaring at him like he’s trying to burn a hole in his head.

“As Hange’s editor, I’m here to oversee your work with her,” he explains, and proceeds to critique everything Zeke does.

Zeke’s habit of scratching his ear makes him look like a monkey and his beard makes him look like a homeless person, his voice makes Levi’s head hurt, his cologne stinks, he talks too much and works too little, his jokes aren’t funny and his remarks are unnecessary. Levi finds a way to insult everything about Zeke.

Hange would have reprimanded him, she did a few times, but she can’t deny that Levi’s hatred is… kind of funny. It’s petty and childish, but at the same time hilarious to the point that Hange has to constantly bite the inside of her cheeks otherwise she’d be laughing at his jabs like a mad person.

Still, Zeke is an important business partner and her possible colleague, so…

“Please forgive Levi for his… lack of professionalism,” she tells Zeke when Levi leaves to bring them tea. Just moments before Levi had called Zeke ‘an insufferable snob who doesn’t give a single fuck about people around him’, so naturally, Hange feels that apology in an absolute necessity this time.

“Don’t worry, I’m not offended,” Zeke smiles, and it looks just that side of arrogant, reminding Hange about Levi’s words and making her feel like maybe, his assertion of Zeke isn’t entirely wrong. “His reason for acting like that is perfectly understandable. When one stands between a man and his… well,” Zeke trails off, staring at Hange enigmatically.

His what? Zeke is standing between Levi and… what? Is it the reason why they don’t like each other so much? Is it something that happened in the past? Or is it a recent development?

Hange wants to ask, but the moment for this is lost, when Levi comes back, holding a trail in his hands.

“I spat into your coffee,” he says to Zeke with the most deadpan expression. If Hange didn’t know Levi a little better, she’d believe that he actually did it. But Zeke isn’t fooled so easily, so he just wolfishly grins and thanks Levi in a sweet voice. Levi swears under his breath and then turns to Hange, murmuring, “Yours is with three sugars.”

“Just as you like it,” Zeke sing-songs, and Hange can’t stop laughter from bubbling out of her throat at the sight of pure hatred on Levi’s usually indifferent face.

“Let’s get back to work,” she says, still chuckling.

Thankfully, they both listen to her.

***

When Zeke leaves to return to his own office, Hange breathes out in relief. She stretches her arms and sprawls out her long legs beneath the desk with a pleased hum. Working with Zeke is satisfying enough, but with just Levi around, she feels much more at ease.

“So,” she nudges his foot with her leg. “What’s up with you and Zeke? What is the source of a drama?” and, remembering Zeke’s previous comment Hange adds, “Did he steal your crush or what?”

Levi looks affronted. He glares at Hange, hands crossed on his chest and a slight pout curving his lips.

Hange thinks he’s going to tell her to fuck off, almost expects him too, but this time, Levi surprises her.

“Remember my cousin? Mikasa?”

Of course, Hange does. How could she ever forget Mikasa, the only person in this world with a scowl as scary as Levi’s?

“Well, Zeke has a little brother, a brat named Eren.”

Hange nods, she vaguely remembers Levi mentioning some brother, and, more than once, Zeke had bragged to her about Eren, his darling sibling.

“He and Mikasa are friends, and my idiot cousin has been pining after him for years.”

Hange has some troubles imagining a pining Ackerman, and she briefly wonders what Levi would act like, if he had been pining after someone. Can he even pine?

“Eren had been an asshole to her, even made her cry once, so...”

“So?” Hange prompts, practically at the edge of her seat.

“So I decided to teach him a lesson. I wanted to scare him a bit, but it kinda backfired when Zeke spotted the two of us. I wasn’t going to punch him or anything, but apparently that’s how it looked.”

“And?”

Levi sighs. “And Zeke did what he could to protect his little brother.”

“He punched you?” Hange’s eyes are wide, as she tries to imagine that particular scene. Zeke is so much bigger than Levi, if he had punched him… Hange suddenly feels very angry.

“No, although I wish he did. It happened just outside of our university, and so Zeke had me reported to the dean. Something about assaulting a minor… it almost got me expelled.”

“What a fucker,” Hange growls, her fist clenching involuntarily. She knew just how hard it was for Levi to get into that university and pay for the classes, and to think that he nearly got expelled because of something so stupid…

“It was an asshole move, I agree. But a part of me actually understands him.”

“Huh? Why?”

Hange can’t even fathom a reason to defend what Zeke did. She knows she would never forgive him for that. It doesn’t seem like Levi has forgiven him either, but he understands him? Hange doesn’t think she would be as gracious.

“Do you have a sibling, four-eyes?” Levi asks. “Or a cousin?”

“No.”

With a thoughtful expression, he hums. “That’s why you don’t understand.”

His answer confuses Hange. And at the same time, it intrigues her. She knows that a bond between siblings is a special one, and as an only child, she can’t grasp the meaning of it. Levi seems to cherish his relationship with Mikasa, even if he always calls her a brat and complains about her bad manners. It must be nice to have someone, a friend that lives with you in the same house. Hange can’t exactly imagine it, but she acknowledges the importance of it anyway.

“But enough of this,” Levi says, bringing her out of her thoughts. “Your collaboration with Zeke is almost at its end. Your article will come out in a few days, have you decided what are you going to do next? Have you already told Erwin that Zeke offered you a place at his newspaper?”

“I haven’t.”

She doesn’t quite know how to approach this conversation. What’s more, she doesn’t quite know what her decision is. Money Island is an opportunity that shouldn’t be ignored, Hange doesn’t want to ignore it. A resignation letter that is hidden inside the desk's drawer is a testament to this. It will give her career a boost she always dreamed of, and Hange can’t let it just slide past her. She isn’t going to, probably, but… she is reluctant.

“We still don’t know if our collaboration will turn out to be a success or not,” she adds, an attempt to justify her indecisiveness. “Maybe, Zeke wouldn’t want to do anything with me, if we fail.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Levi rolls his eyes, apparently refusing to even entertain this idea. “The article will be a success. And you’ll do great at that job.”

Hange snickers in an attempt to lighten up the mood, to distract Levi from her unease. “Sounds like you just want to get rid of me.”

“It’s your decision,” Levi doesn’t deny, not confirm her comment. It sets Hange just a little further on edge. “What I want doesn’t matter whatsoever.”

His words sound familiar, strangely so, but Hange refuses to think about it any further. The words might sound like those from the lover boy’s letter, but the context is different. Levi and him are different. And whoever lover boy is devoted to, Hange is sure that she and that person are different too.

“I’m starving,” Levi stands up, a bit too abruptly, but Hange is too lost in her thoughts to take note of it. “Let’s steal some food from Mike.”

Hange smiles, grateful for the offer, and stands up to join Levi. “I saw Erwin bring yoghurt today.”

“We need to hurry then,” he grabs her hand, quickening her stride. “Otherwise Nanaba will steal it before we even have a chance.”

Hange laughs and eagerly follows after him.

***

When the article finally comes out, it turns out to be a glaring success. Both newspapers gain new audience, a number of newcomers bigger than Erwin had anticipated.

Everyone is happy and proud of Hange accomplishment. No one is surprised at her success.

Mike, Nanaba and Moblit all but run into her office, interrupting each other in their haste to congratulate her.

Levi is the last one to approach her. He wears an unusually open, almost happy expression.

“Told you’d do great,” he murmurs.

Hange knows she shouldn’t do it, knows that Levi won’t enjoy it, his aversion to invasion of his personal space is proverbial, but… Hange accomplished a lot, right? She deserves a little celebratory gift.

With that in mind, she shortens the distance between them and goes in for the tightest, squishiest hug she had in a while.

Levi grunts his protest, but doesn’t object further. In a move that sets Hange’s heart ablaze, he wraps his arms around her too.

Hange likes hugs, receives lots of them – at parties, she often cuddles with Nanaba and Mike, sometimes falls asleep with Erwin holding her close, and Moblit always gets too clingy when he has a little too much to drink. She enjoys embracing her friends, but a hug from Levi – perhaps, Hange tries to reason, because it is such a rare occurrence – makes her brim with unbridled happiness.

***

After the short, but very much enjoyed celebratory hug, Hange invites her friends to get celebratory drinks.

The evening is great, it is filled with pleasant conversation and so much laughter that Hange’s stomach starts to ache from it. The evening is great, could have been perfect… if Hange could forget about the resignation letter that is hidden inside her desk’s drawer.

It is a little after midnight, when they leave the bar and call it a night. But while everyone else heads to their homes, Hange decides to come to the office.

Almost wistfully, she turns on the computer. The first thing she sees is the time and the date, displayed at the bottom of a screen, that tells her it’s the early hours of Wednesday.

The second thing she sees is a notification that Levi sent her a letter.

Right. It’s letters day. Perhaps, the last one for her.

Hange opens the mail, her eyes instantly searching for the familiar username. She doesn’t find it.

She goes through the whole archive again, this time much slower. Still nothing. Then – what if third time is a charm – she scrolls down to the bottom once more. And…

No luck.

It’s the first time in a while that Hange doesn’t receive a letter from the lover boy. It can be a good thing, she supposes. Maybe, the lover boy finally confessed and his beloved stayed with him. Maybe, that’s why he doesn’t need her advices anymore. Or, maybe… Maybe, she left. That will explain the absence of the letter too.

It’s just a letter, from a total stranger at that, but Hange feels sad. Her eyes water as she stares at the computer screen.

She can’t help but wonder – did lover boy’s beloved know about his feelings? Did she decide to leave anyway? Or was she none the wiser about the extent of his affections towards her? If so, did she regret leaving him behind?

Would Hange herself regret leaving her job and friends?

She’s not sure. The worst thing about regret is that it doesn’t appear until after you’ve already done something.

Maybe, she will regret it, maybe, she won’t. The only way to find out is to keep moving forward.

With a heavy heart and tear-streaked face, Hange takes the resignation letter out of the drawer.

***

When she breaks the news to Erwin, he is not at all surprised. He’s not even angry or disappointed, he doesn’t ask to reconsider. A part of Hange wishes he did. That would give her an excuse to stay.

His smile is sad, but at the same time it’s proud. He thanks Hange for three years of hard work and wishes her the best of luck.

“When you’ll get rich and famous,” he says as he wraps his arm around her. “Think of us sometimes, even if briefly.”

Hange’s answering laugh sounds more like a sob. “How could I ever forget all of you?”

Erwin chuckles and wipes away her tears. “You’re a star, Hange, don’t you ever doubt it.”

***

Her last day at work ends with Hange getting shit-faced at their favorite bar. Everyone else is just as drunk as she is – Nanaba refuses to let go of her arm, Mike keeps asking her to call him every day, and Moblit has already cried for three times.

The only semi-sober ones are Erwin, who has to show up to shareholders’ meeting tomorrow morning, and Levi, who is an abnormal human being that alcohol holds no power over.

In the end, he is the one tasked to bring Hange home.

For the entire of their ride to her apartment complex, Hange does her best to behave. She breaks down as soon as they get inside.

Apparently thinking that forcing her to shower would be too much of a bother, Levi leads her straight to the bedroom.

Hange doesn’t fight it, too exhausted to do so, but when Levi starts tucking her in, she grabs his wrist.

“Levi,” she says, and the amount of alcohol she consumed earlier makes it easier to not give a fuck that her voice sounds almost pleading. “Levi, what do you think about me leaving?”

Levi has said nothing on the topic throughout the whole evening. And, while he has given her a hint about his stance on it before, and it probably wouldn’t matter at all, since she is going to leave anyway, Hange still wants to know.

“I told you before,” he doesn’t pull his hand away from her grasp, if anything he moves a little closer, sitting at the edge of her bed. “My opinion doesn’t matter.”

“It matters,” Hange assures. “To me, it matters.”

“It shouldn’t.”

“Do you want me to stay?” she looks deep into his eyes, but be it the influence of alcohol or the absence of her glasses… she can’t read him at all. “If you really do, maybe—”

“No.” Levi cuts her off sharply. “No, Hange, there is no maybe. It’s your decision, and my feelings can’t become your reason.”

Again, the words are familiar, but Hange is drunk. Hange is filled with alcohol and conflicting emotions and lingering doubts. Besides, she’s too lost in the intense look inside Levi’s eyes to make sense of anything else.

“Good night,” Levi whispers, pressing his lips to her forehead in a feather light, achingly gentle kiss. “I hope you will be happy.”

He leaves just before Hange thinks of asking him to stay.

***

Hange swears to stay in touch with everyone at Sina’s Gossips, and she fully intends to keep that promise, but then— then the work gets in the way.

Her first week at Money Island is all but a blur. There is so much to do, so much to learn, and Hange gets lost in it almost immediately.

She stays in the office after hours, she works during weekends, every waking moment is essentially spent on trying to make sense of it all. The employees of Money Island help, which Hange is immensely grateful for, and she is no stranger to working after hours, but… what made her power through it before is not there anymore.

After two weeks she spends on her new job, Hange can’t deny it anymore – her new position is boring.

All these numbers, charts, net worth, stocks options, so on and so forth… it’s so dull and tiresome, it sucks all of Hange’s enthusiasm and inspiration.

That thrill, that excitement, it isn’t there anymore, there is no passion to fuel her, no purpose worth pursuing.

At least, her new colleagues are nice enough. However… Hange can’t help but compare them to her old ones.

Pieck is funny and kind, but not nearly as kind as Nanaba. Porco’s jokes, no matter what he thinks about them, aren’t as hilarious as Mike’s, and watching the development of his relationship with Pieck doesn’t give Hange the same thrill as Nanaba and Mike’s relationship did. Onyankopon is so polite, and he’s always ready to help, but he isn’t as endearingly awkward and cute as Moblit. Her new boss, Magath, isn’t half the man Erwin is. And Zeke… Zeke doesn’t even begin to compare with Levi.

Hange wants to like them, she really does, but all this work leaves little to no time to hang out with her friends, and their absence makes her more unwilling to connect with the new colleagues.

Out of sheer stubbornness, Hange continues working for another two weeks, hoping that maybe, with just enough time, she’ll get her spark back.

She is in the middle of writing another article, something about yet another failing company, when her phone pings, announcing a notification. Taking it a sign from above that she needs to take a break, Hange looks away from the computer screen and redirects her attention to the phone.

The notification announces a new letter, to her personal account. Intrigued, Hange opens it and almost squeals when she sees the username.

wings_of_freedom@gmail.com

Hange stares at it for a long, long moment. The letter isn’t redirected as it usually was, meaning… the lover boy knows her personal mail address, or…

The lover boy is someone she actually knows.

Not sure which one is more improbable, Hange opens the letter. It’s an unusually short one.

It’s been almost a month since she left. I still miss her every damn day. Do you have any advice how to stop it?

In that moment, everything clicks. Every coincidence and conjunction, every moment she felt like she could connect to the lover boy, every time his dilemma perfectly reflected her own. The fact that he knows her email address and the fact that he mentioned one month, precisely the amount of time that passed since she left Sina’s Gossips… there are too many seemingly random things that together create a clear enough picture.

Hange rereads the letter again, just to make sure that it’s real, just to make sure that she isn’t imagining it, that it isn’t wishful thinking.

It doesn’t seem like it is, Hange doesn’t believe it is, and a realization forces a surprised, happy laugh out of her throat.

It takes her but a moment to set her mind, and then, Hange closes the word document with an article, not bothering to save it. She opens another one right after that, and starts writing what will be another resignation letter, this time addressed to CEO of Money Island, Theo Magath. When she finishes, Hange opens powerpoint and proceeds to make a presentation that consists of almost eighty slides.

Perhaps, not her best work, but Hange is confident it will suffice.

She doesn’t bother waiting for Magath to come back from his meeting to give him a letter. She bumps into Zeke just as she exits the small office they gave her, and she thrusts the resignation letter into his hands before he can pull her into one of his endless, mostly one-sided conversation that serve mainly to stroke his ego.

When he takes a look at the letter, Zeke seems regretful, but— not at all surprised.

“I hoped you’d stay with us for a little longer…” he confesses with a slow shake of his head. “But I guess we can’t do what we don’t love.”

“I’m sorry,” Hange says, a small compensation.

“Don’t be,” Zeke waves her off, as easily and smoothly as he does everything else. “However, if you ever decide to go on a date with someone taller than a middle-schooler…”

Really, even Zeke knows? Is she that oblivious?

“You’ll be the first one to know,” Hange laughs, feeling lighter than she did in weeks.

Without wasting anymore time, Hange ducks into her office, grabs what little things she brought here and then rushes to small, not at all impressive, but so dearly loved building of Sina’s Gossips.

Just before entering, she stops and looks up at the front door. Finally… she feels at peace.

A moment is all she allows, before she walks inside.

Her first stop is Erwin’s office, where Hange plugs a USB and starts her presentation before Erwin can even ask what she’s doing here. It takes absolutely nothing to convince him to give her position back, but it does take the whole eighty slides to make him at the very least consider her new proposition – a new segment where Hange will be observing local news. It’s not much, but it’s a start, and a promising one at that.

“But I still need you to take care of the advice column,” Erwin warns just after he surrenders to Hange’s enthusiasm that slowly starts to come back to her. “Mike is quite terrible at it.”

“Consider it done, chief!” Hange exclaims with a quick salute.

Erwin smiles and stands up to embrace her. “Then, Hange Zoe, welcome back to Sina’s Gossips.”

Hange is smiling so much, she worries that her face might break.

After Erwin, she runs straight into Nanaba’s arms. As they embrace, Nanaba laughs, then cries, then laughs again.

“God, Hange, I’m so happy you came back,” she says, wiping her tears. “I was this close to dying of boredom.”

“You don’t know boredom until you’ve worked in finance, Nana.”

They laugh in unison, and Hange’s heart is full of affection, when Nanaba wetly kisses her cheek.

Just before stopping at Moblit’s desk, Hange heads to break room and is lucky enough to find Mike eating a sandwich there.

Hange steals it with a delighted laughter, instantly taking a huge bite.

“Never thought I’d miss someone stealing my food,” he shakes his head with a big smile. “But here we are, I guess. It’s good to have you back, Hans.”

At first, Moblit doesn’t actually believe she is real. He rubs his eyes and squints at her, tentatively touches her arm, gives her another once-over, and whatever he noticed – perhaps, it’s her mismatched socks – convinces him that he isn’t seeing things.

And then gathers her in his arms.

“They made me work with Levi,” he whispers into her shoulders. “Please, don’t leave me again.”

Hange laughs – she does it a lot today, compensating for that month she spent feeling sorry for herself – and pats Moblit’s shoulder.

“Speaking of our favorite shorty, where is he?”

“In his office, probably brooding as always. Since you left, he’s been doing it more often. ”

Hange thanks Moblit with a quick peck on his cheek, and then she is moving again, now heading to her final destination.

The inside of Levi’s office is dark, and awfully quiet. The only sound is the click-clack of the keyboard and the only light comes from the computer screen. It further highlights the dark circle under his eyes and the overall paleness of his face.

Hange clears her throat to get his attention.

Levi’s eyes snap to her, widening almost immediately. There is an ocean of questions, ready to spill from his lips, but Hange doesn’t give him a chance to voice any of them.

“So there is this guy, he’s been sending letters to me since forever. He’s so sweet, a true romantic, and, well, his letters were kinda the highlight of my week,” she pauses to take a quick breath, and continues. “And I’ve been rooting so hard for him, you know? I wanted him to get together with that sweetheart of his, but I also felt like she was kinda oblivious, if you get what I’m talking about. Perhaps, not completely blind, but with a vision poor enough to miss what is right in front of her. Or, perhaps, she always has her head up in the clouds and the guy is a little short, so it’s easy to miss him? And-”

“So you’ve figured it out then?” Levi interrupts her. His calmness makes Hange more nervous.

“I have.”

“Only now?”

“Yes.”

“Hm,” a ghost of a smile dances around his narrow lips. “Completely blind then.”

Hange huffs, but she can’t resist a smile of her own. She takes a step towards his desk, hopping right on top of it.

“Just so we’re clear,” she touches his forearm, slowly moving her hand up to his shoulder. “You weren’t my reason to leave, Levi. And you aren’t the reason I’m staying. But,” she leans in, hoping that Levi is not as stupid and she is, and he gets the hint that she wants him to lean closer too. “You’re the reason I decided to come back. And for that, I can’t thank you enough.”

Hange closes her eyes, when Levi gently cups her cheek. With bated breath, she waits to feel his lips on hers.

Her lover boy doesn’t disappoint, and the gentle, loving kiss makes her head spin.

After a short moment of bliss, Levi pulls away, and Hange has to forcefully stop herself from chasing after his lips. He smirks at the dazed look in her eyes, and Hange just has to retaliate.

She strokes the skin of his cheek with the most tender of touches, shortening the distance between them with tantalizingly slow speed. Just when they’re less than a breath apart, Hange whispers, in a quiet, endlessly soft voice, “You know, Levi, wings of freedom is a really stupid username.”

Levi pushes her off the desk for that, but it’s still worth it. Even more so, since he catches her right in his arms.

And then her lover boy kisses her again. And again, and again, until her heart is so full of love that she can’t even find it in her to get angry at Mike, who snaps a picture of them and runs away to tell everyone the news.

“They’ll be gossiping about that for weeks,” Levi grumbles.

Hange laughs, smoothing the crease between his eyebrows. “Well, it’s Sina’s Gossips we’re working at. And didn’t you know? Love for the gossip is the requirement to get a position here.”

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

i adore everything you write especially erwin like he’s my number one and u write him so well i keep coming back<3 would love to hear your thoughts on the different types of dates he would take you on :)) ty and i hope you’re well !!

Omfg I really needed to hear this today :( thank you so much💛 you're too kind.

Im so happy to hear that I'm write Erwin i a good way! I've actually been thinking about his character a lot! My Erwin posts actually get the least notes bc he's just underappricated, tho imma make sure to write him more from now on just for you 🥰

I actually really liked this request idea so imma split it in two part bc i don't wanna make a long post

Type of dates with Erwin PT.1 {pt.2 in masterlist}

{ Erwin x reader | tw: none | fluff, romance | modern }

{ "La Lettura" 1873 by Antonio Mancini 1852 - 1930 }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday, etc.

1. Romantic dinner by candle lights: he's a sucker for classics and romance cliches. Once a month or so, when you're both free. He'd make a reservation at a fancy restaurant, a secluded table with multiple candles and a nice view of the night sky waiting for you.

You'd both dress us, he'd be a gentleman all the way and open the doors for you, tell you how precious you look while kissing your hand. Maybe even a bouquet of fresh flowers if he's feeling extra.

The night would be spent quietly, talking while drinking wine as your food is getting ready. You two could talk together forever and not get bored, he also could listen to you talk about your passions all day.

At dessert time, he slowly falls in love with you again when you offer him a piece of yours, he'll gladly eat it off your fork. You hold hands under the table and he circles his thumb against yours.

When going home, he'd wrap his arm around your waist, your head on his shoulder. It's the perfect night.

2. Picnic near the lake at sunset, ends with stargazing: this usually takes place in spring or summer, maybe even autumn. When the weather is just perfect and the sky is just clear enough. You both prepare a basket before hand, he wears a light blue shirt to match his eyes.

You arrive around lunch time, having picked a nice place under a tree to shield you from the sun. The sound of children playing in the distance quieting down as time goes on. You both prepared each other's favourite food before hand.

It's around sunset when he wraps the blanket you bought with you around you, the wind having picked up. He kisses your forehead before pulling you closer to his side. You watch the sunset together as the ducks in the lake swim lazily around.

When it's completely dark, is when you finally lay down together, facing the sky. You point to a certain formation and he tangles his fingers with yours before guiding them to the next, he knows a lot about the stars. He shows you the fading ones who's only remains are ghosts of their pasts, he also shows you the newly formed ones who's light is just reaching us.

With your head on his chest, his calm deep voice talking about the stars and the warmth the blanket is offering, you fall asleep.

You wake up in the passenger seat on the ride home, glancing to the side you can see him driving with a smile on his face, he looks happy, relaxed even. You go back to sleep.

3. Going to see a musical together: it's one of the dates he really looks forward too, he's actually a huge musicals nerd but only his close friends know that. So what's better than mixing his favourite thing to watch with his favourite person? You!

He knows the tickets are expensive but he promises you it's worth the inconvenience, so you book two seats online.

When you arrive, you sit next to each other while the room is slowly getting filled. You can hear the actors getting ready off-stage but can't make out what they're saying. Erwin is next to you looking through the play flyer they gave and explaining the story to you.

That day, is the most day you've seen Erwin laugh from the depth of his heart. He'd look at you each time something really funny happens. Squeeze your hand a bit whenever an intense scene is happening. Bring your hand against his lips for a second when a romantic scene is happening.

He's just fully emerged into it. When you see the shine in his eyes, the way his lips curl up just a bit, is when you realise how beautiful Musicals are.

It becames a habit to visit one each year on his birthday.

4. Go to a museum or an art gallery: one thing you've learned from being with Erwin, is that he can turn the most boring things interesting. He just has a way with words and a matching deep voice to go with it, he could read the ingredients on the back of a shampoo bottle and you'd still listen.

Naturally, it was just a matter of time before one of you suggested visiting a museum. You pick a day when not a lot of people would be there.

He makes it fun, interesting and actually educational. You've been walking peacefully in long corridors with paintings and other forms of art displayed around each corner. He seems to have endless knowledge about each piece, telling you both a secret funny fact about it and a base knowledge.

The perfect tour guide, he encourages you to participate and even guess information based on the art and how it makes you feel. He smiles whenever you get something right and chuckles when you don't, it's a win-win situation.

5. Horseback riding: this one happens whenever you visit his parents who retired in the country side, they're really lovely people and seem to genuinely like you. Not to mention how Erwin just shows you off proudly to his parents like you're made out of pure gold.

It's a quiet small town that makes you forget about the city, the air is refreshing and the people are kind, the patries are delicious and the baker is kind. You two could get lost walking near fields of flowers for hours.

He assures you that you have all the time to try everything else, for now he's excited to show you something he's been doing since he was a kid.

The people at the stable seem to recognise him, even the horses are kinder to him than you. You're a bit jealous you won't lie, but he just guides through befriending a certain white horse with braids in it's hair. You even manage to feed them some sugar cubes.

You've underestimate just how tall a horse is, so now when faced with the option to ride on its back you almost back away. Meanwhile Erwin looks really natural and comfortable just getting on one, is this the same man who didn't know you could turn your phone screen sideways till you showed him?

So you end up sharing a horse, he wraps your hands around his waist and tells you to trust him, it will be okay. And just when a glimmer of hope rises in your heart that maybe this isn't as scary as you thought, that man somehow makes the horse go so fast it almost rivals the speed of sound, at least in your mind it did.

It's the most fun and adventures date so far, your heart is pumping by the end of the day as adrenaline runs through your veins. You're both panting and he seems like a kid on Christmas.

Thankfully his parents somehow foresaw this happening and prepared dinner for both of you while apologising for their son. Soon enough, they arm you with enough embarrassing childhood stories about Erwin for later use.

6. Visiting historical spots: it's something his father suggested to you both while you're getting the car ready to drive home. Soon enough you were discussing it while on the road and both of you seemed to be on-board.

It's an actually entirely different experience to see these places in person than in photos in school history books. Everything is so much bigger than you expected, so much older and all the details.

You can see all the different angles just by walking around, both of you seem to be entranced at just how strangely alluring it is to see this great build and know it's more than 500 years old, even Erwin seems to be lost for words for once.

The memories you made, the silly photos you took, the places you held hand and kissed in. It's all was just so lovely. And so it becomes a yearly tradition that you both save up for.

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Trials and Tributes (3/5)

Summary:  

“There were witches who lived among them. Or so that’s what Levi was told. He just could not believe for the life of him that she’d be one of them.”

Levi is a soldier who interrogates witches before they are put on trial and Hange might just be a witch.

Levihan Secret Santa Gift for @cleacourgette

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Link to other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5

They were working late that night. So unusually late that at first, Levi had taken Erwin’s closing the windows as a sign that they should finish for the night. He had started to empty his own desk of paperwork when Erwin spoke up.

“How were the trials?”

“Routine.”

Erwin raised one eyebrow. “The trials for someone so important to you volunteered to facilitate it?”

“Yes, they concluded she was a witch and we’re moving on to the swimming test. It’s in two days.” Levi said as mechanically as possible, not wanting his true emotions to leak out.

“Do you really believe she was the one responsible for the plague in your village? The plague which took your mother I mean?” Erwin did not need to clarify it. Yet, he did and that clarification only made Levi's chest tighten.

“Who else? She murdered a child then she disappeared.”

“I visited Hange after her last trial, had a small chat with her.”

“Of course she wouldn’t admit it.”

“That wasn’t what I asked about. I wanted to understand for myself what happened with that incident back she was a child, when she was accused of murder.”

“She said herself, she didn’t know what happened to him.”

Erwin shook his head. “She didn’t know. But the other people from the town did.”

Levi’s eyes widened in surprise. Suddenly he was self conscious of his disconnect from the happenings of the town as a child. Although he was considered one of the townspeople then. Having had to take care of his sick mother, he never had the chance to go out and meet many people nor discuss what had been happening around the town.

“I checked the reports in the capital library. Tobias’ mother reported that she had found red welts on her son’s back when he got home from playing with the kids then his body started to swell. Within an hour, he started to have a hard time breathing. His throat closed and with no means of breathing, he passed away quickly.”

The circumstances of his death were strange. Strange enough that the townspeople had come together to organize a witch hunt.

“They also recorded the accounts of the witnesses who were playing with Hange and Tobias that day. And when I checked them, they aligned well with the story Hange had given me. She pushed Tobias into a grassy patch. One of the boys who had been left there when Tobi and Hange both went home mentioned that they might have landed on a fire ant mound which explains the itchy red welts on Tobi’s back.”

Levi had been bitten enough times to know ant bites were painful. “But ant bites aren’t fatal.”

“This is where I did some extra research and talked to some more apothecary's and doctors. Apparently it is not completely implausible to infer that Tobias died from something called an allergic reaction. The swelling of his face, the difficulty breathing from an insect bite. It lines up so well with some of the other writings from doctors."

“Then how do you explain the plague?” Levi asked.

Erwin sighed. “I don’t think there’s any better way to tell you this but, I don’t believe the plague that killed your mother was caused by a witch. In fact, I don't believe witches actually exist.

                                     Trials and Tributes

“Levi, I have a theory.”

“You always have theories Hange,” Levi said, not looking up from the book he was reading.

“Humor me! That’s my book so I can get it back from you anytime I want.” Hange put her hand on the page he was reading so suddenly and so rudely that Levi had to resist the urge to slam the book closed on her hands then and there.

“Okay. I’m humoring you," Levi said.

“So, lately I’ve been noticing something about my herb garden. There is a small area where plants tended to die at a faster rate.”

“Uhuh.”

“So I pulled out the dying plants and I noticed something common about all of them. They had these white spots all over the stems and the leaves. They were like spider webs but there were more webs then spiders and you know the plants closest to them started to have those white spots too.”

“Oh, okay so a little discoloration on leaves,” Levi said matter-of-factly.

“So what if those white things are diseases, and being closer to one another, they spread more easily. What if people stuck together in close quarters just end up getting sick with the same disease? Maybe there are these invisible particles that fly through the air and when they get into people, people get sick. Maybe there are special particles which can swim too and when people drink the water they get sick?

Levi went back to the reading as Hange continued to ramble on. Somehow her theory had become too far fetched, not worth the time of day to even listen to anymore

“Didn’t your mother die in a plague? What if those particles are what causes plagues? ”

                                      Trials and Tributes

Levi had to admit that at the moment Erwin had suggested that witches might not exist, he did not feel adamant at all or even indignant at that claim. A wave of relief had rushed through him and he found himself settling back down on the chair in shock, his plans to clear his desk forgotten.

“Hange traced the origin of the dysentery problem to the well at the center of town…” Levi said, mostly too himself. Suddenly the ramblings and the theories Hange had made years ago over tea and book readings were suddenly starting to make more sense. “Erwin, you might be right.”

Erwin and Levi found themselves making their way to the prison cell where Hange was being held to satisfy their own curiosity.

The guard was quick to leave as soon as Erwin and Levi entered. Levi stood by the door, keeping an ear open for any footsteps that might be coming too near, and might possibly hear their conversations.

It was his first time visiting her cell in days but he couldn’t help but notice she had lost weight since he last saw her. He made a mental note to sneak more food next time he came over.

“Hange, sorry to bother you but we have something we wanted to confirm with you,” Erwin started as he settled himself on a chair in front of her cell.

“Ask away. It’s not like I have anything better to do here.”

It’s not like I have anything better to do here. Hange had repeated that line so many times back in the cabin in the woods. The way she had said it then though was softer and alarmingly toneless. Levi snuck a glance at her face or at least what he could make out from his angle. She had bent her head down, not bothering to look up at both him and Erwin. From what he could make out though, her eyes were downcast and the glint was nothing more than a flicker of what it used to be. At that moment, she looked completely disconsolate.

“How did you trace the diseases back to the well?” It was Erwin who spoke up. In that few seconds of silence, it was probably only Erwin who would have had the strength to start the conversation.

“The dysentery problem?” Hange asked.

Erwin nodded. “Yes. The one they discussed in your trial.” An unnecessary clarification but somehow, Levi felt it was needed, to fill the silence in the room and hopefully to get Hange to talk.

“I did my research,” Hange answered. “I was getting more than a dozen patients a day. I asked them where they lived… What they ate…” Hange trailed off.

Once again, the three all waited in silence. As they sat, Levi stood. And as Levi stood, he continued to entertain thoughts in his head. His mind was racing and it felt like it was only getting faster.

Maybe there are these invisible particles that fly through the air and when they get into people, people get sick. Maybe there are special particles which can swim too and when people drink the water they get sick?

“Hange, you told me long ago that you think there are these invisible particles in the air that can swim. And when people accidentally eat them they get sick. Is that what made you think that it could have come from the well in the center of town?”

Hange nodded.

“Do you think that the plague that happened when we were eight was from those same invisible particles?” Levi pressed.

She nodded again.

Erwin looked up at Levi in surprise. Levi remembered then that he never did tell Erwin that Hange was not an enemy but in fact, a childhood friend. Erwin was sharp though and within seconds that look of surprise had shifted to one of understanding. Levi did not need to explain anything.

“Levi, do you believe I’m a witch?”

That was the moment the survivor instinct inside of him decided to make itself known. Witches can compel their victims. Witches can bewitch. It was a battle between that part of him that resisted the urge to believe her and the part of him that wanted to accept her, to trust her.

Hell. We’ve known each other for years. She hadn’t done anything then to break his trust. Actually, he was the one who had broken his promise years ago.

“I don’t know.” was all Levi could let out. Those two sides of him had settled for that as a compromise.

“I for one don’t believe in witchcraft,” Erwin admitted before Levi and Hange could react beyond Levi’s admittance of neutrality. “And I will do what I need to do to make these lynchings end. If I come across anything of interest, anything which can help your case, I’ll pass it on to you. Thank you for your cooperation Hange.”

With that, Erwin stood up and exited the room leaving Levi scrambling to pick up the pieces.

“Levi, let me ask you something.” Hange asked. “If I really were a witch, if I did have malevolent intentions, don’t you think I would have done something a long time ago already?”

What if she did it all to manipulate me. What if she needs me for some end goal.

“Don’t get me wrong Hange. I feel compelled to help you and I probably will anyway,” Levi answered. “I just can’t discount the fact that this could be manipulation on your end.”

Hange looked up at him and for the first time that night, Levi saw her face for what it was. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were red and the lines under her eyes were only more defined than they were before. He only had a split second though to take in those features before they oriented themselves into a familiar expression he had come to know so well.

A simple, maybe even naive smile. “If you believe you’re being manipulated, then I give you permission not to bend over back for me. I’m ready to die.”

That could have easily been interpreted as manipulation. As Hange said that, Levi only felt more determined to find a way to save her. He couldn’t help but note though the Hange he knew was straightforward and not at all manipulative. She had always said what she meant or so that was what he had believed.

Levi found himself questioning those voices in his head instead. Those voices that doubted Hange. Maybe they were the ones manipulating me.

Levi gripped at the bars tightly and leaned closer towards her or as close as he could get at least when they were separated by prison bars “I don't know if this is all a game. If it is, you’re doing good because either way, I’m going to do what I can so you can make it out of this alive."

"Right after saying you believe I'm a witch?"

"You were my best friend. I owe you my younger years." Levi answered. " And as your best friend, I'll find a way out of this for you. And if I need to, I’ll take you out of this country, I’ll bring you down south."

                              Trials and Tributes

It was a very cold night. So cold that Levi wished he could have put it off to another night. Given that Hange would be taking the swimming test the day after tomorrow, he knew he only had that night to test his plan for himself.

As soon as the bible tests were over, Levi had been assigned to find a place to execute the swimming test. Even before he had visited Hange in the dungeon that night with Erwin, the gears in his mind had already been moving to keep Hange alive.

He had done his research from talking to the townspeople about bodies of water, geography and nearby hiding places for criminals. For research. He had said then. Nobody did ask too much of it. He was a soldier after all who kept the peace of their kingdom.

The time he had spent collecting information had given him options. The cost benefit analysis he did given those options was what led him to decide on one particular cliff that overlooked the sea only a thirty minute carriage ride from her prison. The locals had mentioned that it was a good area for cliff diving, the water was of a fair depth that it would be safe to dive.

And that’s what I have to see for myself. It was going to be his job to push Hange into the water in less than 24 hours, the least he could do is try it himself.

It was a risky move. Especially when his cheeks were already turning numb from the cold. Levi had to admit he was probably risking his own life at that moment. As he removed his overcoat and the shirt underneath with the intention of diving into the water head first, Levi had to take multiple breaks. His body was protesting the action and the protest manifested itself as a light shudder every time the cool night breeze brushed passed him.

You’re bewitched. Those voices reminded him. Levi did not need to listen though. Before he could even allow himself a second thought about his decision, before his body and his survival instincts could push him back, Levi jumped headfirst into the black sea below him.

It would be his sense of touch leading him from then on.

From the moment he hit the water and dove deeper, he allowed himself a few minutes with his hands behind his back to simulate what Hange would be going through. He counted thirty seconds and by then, his lungs were starting to ache. He reached his hands out in front of him, relying on his recall of his last view illuminated by the moonlight to guide him where he needed to go.

He turned behind him. The cliff side should be here. He kept his hands in front of him as he swam in the direction where the cliffside should be located. Within seconds he felt it. And with it came a glimmer of hope.

That hope was what he needed badly. His lungs were crying and he knew he would need air soon. He could have easily gone up and breathed it himself. He was constantly reminded though that Hange would not have that same luxury and he pressed on. Holding on to the side of the cliff, he continued to swim.

It should be around here. His lungs were starting to scream and Levi knew he might not last any long. He started to scramble and move quicker. A generally bad idea when his oxygen and his time conscious was limited.

At that moment though, Levi had luck on his side. That empty space in between the cliffside was what he was looking for. Finding that gave him the second wind he needed. Levi only pushed further into the cavern. The path was narrow and consequently, quick and easy to feel his way through.

By the time Levi’s lungs were screaming once again, the energy from his second wind almost completely depleted, Levi had already made it into an open space and with his last burst of strength he shot his hand out above him.

It was as if a weight was lifted off of his shoulders both literally and figuratively. The air was much lighter on his body, especially on his lungs. Levi opened his eyes to see the moon above him.

The cave was generally closed, save for an opening on the roof that illuminated the cave enough for Levi to see where the sky and the walls of the cave meet. As Levi lay on the ground of the cave, he took in the view and focused on watching how the view shifted slightly with the rise and the fall of his chest.

The moon was beautiful. So beautiful that Levi almost considered spending the night in the cave despite the biting cold. Biting? That wasn’t the right word. Numbing maybe.

Numbing. That reminder of his own mortality and the possibility of death was what had Levi sit up and rush out of the cave, despite his subdued sense of touch.

He had to get out of there. He had to stay alive. He still had a job to finish.

                                        Trials and Tributes

The water shall refuse to receive in her bosom those who have shaken off the sacred water of baptism.

In the easiest of words, if Hange were to be proven innocent and completely human, she had to drown. That was how they had explained it to the multiple witch suspects that have died similarly.

“If you do drown, your place in heaven is guaranteed.” The bishop had said, as he explained the history of that trial to the crowd who had gathered by the cliff. Levi kept himself looking only towards Hange who stood next to him while the priest prattled on about their ‘guaranteed heaven.’ Those were the same people who had sold indulgences and places in heaven to the nobility long before.

He had never seen heaven. He had seen scams in action though and somehow that and his own generally negative opinion of the clergymen was all he needed to feel such a distaste for their actions.

Hange was in light garments despite the cool breeze that came with early spring. Levi wore something similar in the form of a cotton shirt and dress pants, a subtle gesture of solidarity on his end.

Hange Zoe. He only found himself looking back at the crowd and at the person in question when her name was mentioned. What followed the announcement of her names were cheers. But Levi knew it wasn’t anything to celebrate for him.

The crowd wanted to see blood. A potato sack was placed on the ground next to Hange and Levi felt his stomach drop as he started to comprehend the risk that came with his plan. Although he had simulated that same escape the night before, Hange would be faced with the extra challenge of cutting through the ropes and the sack before being able to dive and escape to the cave.

To balance it out at least, he had fed her as much information as he possibly could.

When you feel the wall in front of you, keep going left.

Dive when you feel the cliff turn rougher.

You’re going to have to dive down deep to find it.

Levi had racked his head for as much detail as he could as he oriented Hange to the location of the sea cave.

I’ll meet you there at night when it gets dark. I’ll send food. Then just stay in the cave until I can fix your papers and find you a way out of here.

While he helped Hange into the potato sack, he searched for an opening to dig his small dagger in between the tightly woven ropes, in preparation for their plan. As soon as he did, Hange touched the dull part of the blade with her fingers and tapped the side of his finger, a small gesture that she had understood what needed to do. The quick tap was somehow reassuring.

Good luck. Stay alive. He mouthed. She wouldn’t have heard it but he had not wanted to risk anything louder than that. Even with the deafening cheers of the crowd. Levi pulled the sack over her with the help of one of the guards. He had no time to even allow himself one last look at the knife digging into the ropes. He could not risk anyone finding it.

The other guard had offered to help Levi throw the sack over the cliff but Levi declined. He didn’t even trust himself to throw over the cliff. How could he trust anyone else?  Hange wasn’t heavy though. In fact, Levi was sure he had carried weapons much heavier and had shot arrows with draw weights much heavier than her.

Yet, her weight was crushing him  and Levi felt his arms going numb underneath him as he carried the sack towards the edge of the cliff.

The sack was warm, a little too warm. The contents of the sack reacted to every moment. As much as Levi had wanted to pretend that it was just a sack of potatoes or maybe even a dead body. He couldn’t. He closed his eyes for a second and had somehow felt a heartbeat beneath that potato sack. It was a little too fast and maybe even deafening.

Hange. That’s Hange. I’m holding Hange in my arms.

At that rate, Levi could not even tell if it was his own heart or hers. Will this work out? Will this be the last time I hear that heartbeat?

There was no turning back.

“Heave…” Levi pulled the sack behind him to gather some moment.

The heartbeat evolved from a canter to a gallop as he felt the strength quickly spread through his arms. He remembered then, he had an obligation to moderate his strength as well. He didn’t want her landing too far from the cliff either or worse, get seriously hurt on impact.

“Ho!” Levi threw the sack forward, slowing down as he did. All he needed to do was make sure the sack covered enough distance that she wouldn’t hit the cliffside prematurely

It was as if time slowed down when Levi found himself in a good position to let go of the sack. He had found himself peeling his hand from the sack, finger by finger. The heartbeat he had felt in the sack, the warmth were like the threads of a spider web, sticking to him so tenaciously, so desperately.

He didn’t want to let go.

                                    Trials and Tributes

“Wow! I didn’t think there would be this many types of knives. I’ve only ever played with a letter opener.”

“Don’t you have knives around here? How do you do research without them?” Levi asked half heartedly as he continued to polish his saxe knife.

“Well, I make my own. You don’t really need anything too sharp to be able to cut up leaves. Sometimes you can just do it like this.” Hange tore one of the oregano leaves a little more roughly to make her point.

“Well, fighting gets a little complicated apparently.” Levi positioned his knife in front of the window of the cabin and watched as the silver glistened under the sunlight that streamed through the window. “Uncle said this knife is strong enough to parry the blow of a sword. If you can control it…” Just imagining a sword coming down on a knife only a quarter of the size of a sword had Levi shuddering. One miscalculated movement and he could find himself three less fingers.

“Learning to use weapons takes time. And I doubt your uncle is gonna make you fight a swordsman just yet.”

“My uncle said he’ll teach the technique. I just have to do the drills he gives me everyday.”

Hange clumsily spun Levi’s throwing knife in her hand only to end up dropping it on the floor. She let out a disappointed sigh. “Hey Levi, after your uncle teaches you, can you teach me? I wanna learn how to handle a knife too.��

                                   Trials and Tributes

The sack they had pulled out of the water was stained red. And that blood stain covered half the sack.

While the clergymen and the guards were panicking at the missing body. Levi was alarmed for other reasons. Was she alive? Did she make it out safely?

He had hope for the luxury of letting out a tear, or rushing to the side of the cliff, kneeling down and looking closely at the water to maybe search for signs of life like a mad man. It would only be unwise to do such. The most he could allow himself was a catatonic state and maybe a twinge of envy at the clergymen who had the luxury to babble curses at the guard who had probably so incompetently left a hole in the sack to punch through.

Fortunately, no one was blaming him just yet. He didn’t want to give them the opening either. The matter at hand was time sensitive. If Hange wasn’t dead, she might still be flickering between life and death at the moment. He had to get to where she was soon.

He murmured a few words at the guard about wanting to check something and about them being able to go ahead and slowly walked away. Levi couldn’t run just yet, not when he was still within their field of view. To compensate though, his heart and his mind were racing. As he turned the corner and into the path which led to the cove and eventually to the sea cave, he was more quickly able to adjust to a sprint.

Levi had mentally readied himself to dive into the water even before he entered the cave. He had started to unbutton his own cotton shirt as he sprinted in, not wanting to waste any more time.

The rush and the panic that was only consuming him made him clumsy and a little awkward as he moved. The moment his plans and his expectations were subverted by the sight of a very wet and bloodied Hange kneeling on the ground next to the water, Levi ended up losing his balance and tripping on the floor right in front of her.

“You made it here alive… I was worried.” Levi managed to say as he pulled himself back up into a kneeling position. His knees and palms were starting to hurt and Levi was sure he would need to treat his own wounds a little later on.

“Yeah, I ended up cutting my wrist when I cut through the ropes...It bled out a lot but I never really was as coordinated as you are with knives... Sorry for putting that training you gave me to waste.” Hange was only rambling aimlessly. As Levi made eye contact with her, he noticed her eyes were still a little too wide and her smile too unnatural. Levi could not help but think that she had felt the same way he did when he had first arrived in that same cave a few nights before. Her face had shown it all. She was just as surprised to be alive as he was.

But she is alive. That’s all that mattered. Levi would have wanted to hug her then but at the same time he did not want to lose sight of her. He settled for putting his hand on her arm and gripped hard. “At this point Hange, I don’t care if you’re a fucking witch or not. If you are, save yourself. Run away. Go save some other kids. Go discover a plague before it happens. You don't deserve this. Nobody deserves the shit they put you through. I’ll get you out of here if I need to.”

Hange returned his strong grip on her arm by gripping his wrist. For a second, her face was unreadable. Then soon after something took over and that face had morphed into something wild and even primitive. It was as if Hange was possessed. Suddenly she was squeezing his wrist much harder than Levi had ever expected from her. He let out a groan of pain as he recoiled at the sudden attack.

Hange threw his hand back at him and snarled. "Don’t touch me!"

And just like that, it was as if he was talking to a completely different person. Or a completely different creature.

[thekillerssluts]

THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE OF WILL BUTLER

It’s been nearly four centuries since the first member of the Butler family arrived in the United States. From Quakerism and Mormonism to getting thrown in jail, the Butler family history is a fascinating story which bears one constant, one recurring theme on which the Butler’s always touch base: music. On new solo album Generations, Will Butler (Arcade Fire) expands his horizons while delving into his own legacy and asking questions about his place in society as an American. Jack Parker called up Butler to discuss his namesake’s glistening legacy, the new album and societal parallels between 2020 and 1820.

Hi Will. Generations is your second studio album, and it comes five years after your debut, Policy. Was it always a long term plan, in your mind, to put out a second album? Yeah. I was always going to do a second record, but my wife and I have an eight year old and two twins. Not to blame the twins, but I would have made a second record earlier, haha. There was also the last Arcade Fire record, and I went to grad school. It’s been busy.

You described this album as more of a novel. Would you call it a concept album? I don’t think of it as a concept album, but any listener or critic is welcome to interpret in whichever way they like. There is a sonic arc to the album, and although it’s not exactly character development there is some sort of development throughout the record. I feel like it takes on a journey.

The stories on some tracks are definitely vivid in places. What informed your songwriting on some of these songs? Fine tells a very poignant story. Some of the songs on the album have a big focus on 19th century American poets like Emily Dickinson or Erwin Melville. Melville isn’t famous for his poetry, but he has some good poems about the Civil War. I was reading a lot of history, and a lot of the themes are essentially just trying to absorb what the fuck has been happening the last 200 years.

And of course everything that’s been happening the last six months. Do you notice many similarities between the last half year versus the last 200 years? Yeah. We had Ferguson and Baltimore, and people are protesting now too. People are rioting! But this isn’t an outlier in American history; the police keep brutalising people and those being brutalised keep saying that enough is enough. It happens every few years, so it’s a very consistent part of history. It’s shocking that people even need to come out and say that black lives matter. That is an outlier, the fact that we have to highlight that killing black people is a bad thing. It’s never exactly the same throughout history, but it’s certainly familiar in a dark way. The pandemic…eugh. There aren’t many global pandemics which I’ve experienced in my lifetime, but it’s certainly not what I expected.

The sonic palette of Generations is much broader. There seems to be more emphasis on exploring different sounds and styles; was this a conscious decision or something that just came naturally? I wanted Generations to be a more complex and complicated album with more development. My brain is so broken that I think about food a lot; Policy was more a case of making dinner with whatever you can find in the fresh section at the supermarket. Generations is more purposeful, it’s layering the flavours, roasting the meat for 48 hours and stewing the bones. There’s more foraging.

I guess solo projects like this one also allow you to explore territory you wouldn’t go for as quickly with Arcade Fire. Yeah. I mean, they’re still related projects in that I’m the same human being poking at the same stuff sonically and emotionally, but with this I can go further in certain directions. This album is still collaborative, but I can also do more.

You previously said that this record asks the question “what’s my place in American history?” Assuming you know that now: what is your place in American history, as a rich, white male? It’s a positional answer, to be honest. It’s how you are positioned in a community and how you relate to the people you live with. It’s hard to answer, because it’s also in conversation with New York City and Brooklyn. Like, how is New York going to move forward? On a broader level, though, it’s still provisional and conversational.

So has working on this record helped you discover aspects of yourself which you weren’t aware of? I’m real smart on a booksmart level, but working on this record made me realise how dumb you still are as a human, on a human level. Most of us are pretty dumb, and every now and then you encounter some amazing humans, but then you’re like, “wow, I’m real dumb and I’m lost without these people”.

I just want to touch on the album closer, Fine. What informed your songwriting and the story on that track in particular? It’s one of your best works to date. Thank you. So, the first Butler came to the US in the 1630s and settled into Boston before moving to Cape Cod and living on the water. They were one of the first families to convert to Quakerism. It’s in the history records because they kept getting fined for being Quakers. They’d get thrown into jail and cops would arrest Daniel Butler in the middle of the night for exposing little kids to Quakerism. The Butlers have lived in New England on a long stretch of coastline for the last 400 years. My Mum’s family is Mormon, and my great grandfather was the last son of a Mormon homesetter who crossed the plains. He was born in the 1870s and he was a musician. He started a family band with his kids and they would drive across the desert – before there were even roads – on wooden planks to play shows in churches and then get arrested for doing it. My life today is very beautifully influenced by what happened at the end of the 19th century. It’s so beautiful to inherit such a musical legacy, but there’s also such a horrifying legacy to being an American. Why I am how I am is informed by a lot of beauty and horror. It’s about trying to figure out where you stand before you throw your first punch. You have to square your hips. It’s not so much an exercise in guilt as it is in knowledge.

Fine is trying out the Kanye West trick of being really stupid and profound by talking about important and unimportant things are the same time. I was thinking about George Washington from 250 years ago, just thinking about his legacy and on a wider scale the legacies which we inherit. How those legacies came to us, and how the world was made. It’s trying to do that both in a jokey and a horrifying way. Look at Washington’s slaves, for example. He has one named Henry Washington who I’d never heard of until I was an adult. He escaped and with the British against the United States, and then lost. In order to avoid slavery he fled to Canada and then ended up in Sierra Leone, where he ended up fighting against the British. These are incredible histories which just go ignored. Fine is essentially about trying to figure out what line of history we’re following and how we follow it.

Now more than ever people are turning to the arts for empowerment. How can we use music in 2020 to harness positive change? Music has been a great comfort to people who are doing really intense work, and I’ve seen people really respond to artists who say something meaningful. Art can really provide comfort, which I think is important. I get that there are other important angles, like how art isn’t always supposed to be comfortable, but over the years I’ve seen how much value music has for people who are trying to make the world a better place. As a musician you can’t control the people who feel comfort. You can’t tell someone horrible that they aren’t supposed to feel comforted by your music, but you can pray that your music is put in front of someone who will nourish it.

Of course. So with live music still out of the question, what’s next for you? I’m really excited for the record to come out! People have been finding meaning in comfort through music these last six months, and it kind of feels like you’re doing a service by putting music out into the world. I’ll probably do some kind of online thing, but it’s not really my speciality. I’ve got a week and a half to figure it out. My son started school today in New York, so figuring out online school for an eight year old is also a thing. And if it weren’t for the pandemic, I’d have gotten into my car and driven around Pennsylvania knocking on doors ahead of the election in November. 

[hannahrose533]

Berlin

Levi x Eren

some smut

nsfw

Levi doesn’t know about the new model until he’s standing right in front of him – all six feet of tan skin, bright eyes and wiry muscles wrapped up tight in a package labelled Eren Jaeger.

Oh shit, Levi thinks.

“Levi,” Hanji grins, completely oblivious to the way Levi is standing frozen still with his camera slipping loose between sweaty fingers. “This is Eren. He’s our model for the upcoming summer shoot. Eren, this is Levi – he’s our lead photographer.”

“Yeah,” Eren says, and his voice is exactly like Levi remembers – suddenly he’s right back where he was ten years ago. “We’ve met.”

The only reason the slam of Eren’s knuckles into the side of his face doesn’t hurt half as much is because Levi has been preparing for it the moment he saw him.

.

It was late July and Levi had spent the last three years traveling across half the fucking world just to build up his portfolio.

He’d started in his birthplace of Paris and worked his way through Milan and London and New York, even a brief flit across Asia – Tokyo and Seoul mostly – before landing in Berlin.

He was starting to carve out his nook in the world of fashion photography, but he was still young – just scraping twenty-five by the time his one-sided love affair with Korea had sent him packing for Germany – and the newbies to the business didn’t get shit like fancy hotel rooms or bedsits.

He meets the Jaegers through a mutual friend and Carla graciously welcomes him into their home for as long as he plans on staying in Berlin. They live just far enough out of the city to be away from the clutter and bustle of central life, but near enough to it to count. They have room, she says, and their son would be delighted by the company.

All Levi has to his name at this point is about fifty Euros and his camera so he’s not really in any position to say no.

He accepts her offer and hitches a ride back to their house just on the outskirts of the city where concrete gives way to dirt and the red stained smog of the sky turns a bitter blue.

Stepping out of the back of the pickup he raps loudly on the side of the vehicle to let the driver know his help was appreciated before slinging his bag up over his shoulder and stepping away from the ensuing spray of dust as the wheels spit gravel and grit that stings his eyes as the car races away.

Rather suddenly Levi is alone in front of a two story country-style house with nothing but the clothes on his back and the camera heavy and beautiful in his bag.

The door shudders open in a rusted squeal and a boy steps out – the son, Levi supposes.

“Sie müssen Levi sein, richtig?” He asks as he shuts the door.

Levi shakes his head to let the kid know that he doesn’t speak a word of German.

The kid frowns; although Levi can’t really see much of his face from where he’s standing under the shadows cast by the roof, only the burnished shine of brown hair and the golden glint of sun-beaten skin.

Levi doesn’t think the kid would understand French so he takes a wild stab and asks: “English?”

An expression of intense relief skids over his face and the kid says flawlessly and with only the barest blip of accent: “You’re Levi, right? That photographer guy that’s staying with us for a while.”

Levi goes to answer – probably with something snarky and terribly rude – but the kid chooses this exact moment to step out from beneath the midday shadows and for the first time Levi properly sees his face.

The back of his neck is hot from the sun and his eyes are still watering from the spew of dust left behind by his ride – his words trip and stumble at his lips and suddenly it’s all very hard to breathe.

Eren’s gorgeous in a way that is purely physical – face cut in perfect angles and lips curved in just the right way – but it’s his eyes that do it to him.

Levi can’t look away from those eyes.

.

“Its fine,” Levi says for the third time around a fistful of tissues, wincing not just at the way his nose feels raw and tender beneath his bloody fingers, but at the way his voice comes out funny as voices do when you can’t breathe through your fucking nose. “Its fine, Hanji; it’ll stop in a moment.”

“I can’t believe it,” Hanji says again – the third time herself – as she holds out a box of tissues. Levi gratefully takes another dozen. “That’s so unlike him. I mean, I know he has a temper but I’ve never seen him attack someone unprovoked like that.”

It wasn’t unprovoked, Levi thinks but doesn’t say aloud as he drops the soggy tissues in his hand so they splat loudly in the bathroom sink and looks up into the mirror.

Eren had done a good number on him. For one punch that came completely out of the blue with no windup it probably couldn’t have been much worse if he’d tried.

Levi’s nose wasn’t broken – thank fuck for small mercies – but it was bruising fast in a way that let the spread of bumpy purple sprawl out under his eyes as well. Levi didn’t normally look like the most well rested person in the world, but on the same note the bags underneath his eyes weren’t usually violet either.

Kid should have been a boxer instead of a model – Levi would certainly bet on him.

Levi glances down and makes a noise of disgust. His nose might not be bleeding anymore, but his hands are a revolting mess of fast clotting blood that’s making his palms tacky and brown as it dries.

Without a word Hanji reaches past and turns on the tap for him and Levi grunts out his thanks as he sticks his hands beneath the gush of water and lets slip an audible sigh.

“So,” Hanji says when Levi makes no attempt to speak. “You and Eren, huh?”

Levi’s blood runs as cold as the water feels on his skin. “I don’t know what you mean,” he lies.

Hanji snorts and sets aside the box of tissues she’d been carrying. “I know a break-up punch when I see one, Levi. That?” She waves at Levi’s miscoloured face. “That right there is definitely the work of a break-up punch.”

The sharp shriek of the soap dispenser as Levi pours copious amounts on his palms isn’t enough to drown her out.

“So my question,” Hanji continues, “is when? Because Eren’s only just recently broken out as a model. He only came to the states about three years ago – and I know you haven’t had any interaction with him seeing as how he’s actually spent the better part of his stay jumping between here and Toronto.”

“Hanji,” Levi says tiredly as he leaves the tap running and reaches for some paper towel. “Just let it go, okay?”

Hanji’s watching him carefully in the mirror and Levi wants nothing more than to just walk away and end this whole conversation here but he can’t – not won’t, literally can’t – because his palms still itch with the feel of his own blood and Levi can’t handle his camera until he knows they’re clean, that he won’t dirty his only precious thing.

He squirts more soap on his hands and avoids Hanji’s eyes.

He’s tired. He’s just so, so tired.

“Now that I think about it,” Hanji says, “you’ve been to Berlin, haven’t you?”

“Hanji,” Levi warns.

“But that would have been nearly ten years ago, wouldn’t it?” She muses.

“Hanji,” he hisses again, and her name comes out like a curse. He pulls his hands out from the basin and slams the tap off with his elbow, dripping water and soap suds as he tears more paper towel free. “Just let it go.”

Levi kicks open the bathroom door with enough force that it slams vicious and unrelenting behind him as he exits, leaving Hanji watching him with concerned eyes by the sink.

He stalks down the hallway until he’s far enough away from the bathroom that he feels okay to fumble his phone free and hit fucking number one speed-dial.

Erwin picks up after two rings. “Levi,” he greets easily. “I assume this is about Eren?”

Levi grits his teeth together hard enough he’s surprised they don’t chip as he fights down the burgeoning sense of betrayal. “You didn’t even think you should warn me?”

“I thought it might be best if you weren’t given a chance to run. You have a history of resorting to extreme means to escape small problems.”

“Fuck you,” he hisses. “I told you –.”

“You told me if I ever sent you to Berlin you’d quit on the spot. I haven’t sent you to Berlin, Levi; Berlin has come to you.”

Levi sucks in a deep breath and follows that up with another as he tries to keep from screaming down the phone at Erwin because twelve year-old tantrums rarely solve problems and Erwin is still technically his boss.

“What are you playing at?”

“Eren is a talented model,” Erwin says firmly. “We are lucky to be working with him. I’m sorry but your past with him does not nullify his value to us; not everything is about you. This discussion is over.”

Levi hangs up without another word before he does something he’ll really regret.

The hallway is empty enough that Levi can lean against the wall and close his eyes without risking an awkward explanation, grinding the palms of his hands into his sockets and ignoring the way it flares up the bruising burn.

Eren Jaeger was from ten years in his past and Levi had been so sure that would be where he’d stay for the rest of ever. He’d never thought – never allowed himself to believe – that their paths would ever cross again, not in this lifetime.

There’s a photo Levi has in a shoebox in his apartment that he hasn’t looked at since he put it there eight years ago. He’s not even thought of it in at least three.

Ten years ago in Berlin he’d taken seven photos of Eren Jaeger and deleted every single one except the last.

Levi lets out an uneven breath and drops his hands from his eyes.

His face feels like it’s on fire and he suspects it might take a good few days for the swelling to go down enough that he can properly use his camera.

He thinks of Eren lying on the floor in the Jaeger household, his eyes closed and his shoulders rising up and down in even breaths, the blue of Levi’s blanket around his bare shoulders; how for that brief second when Levi had peered through his camera everything had felt right.

His face hurts and he can feel his nose bleeding again.

It’s probably no less than he deserves.

.

“I still don’t get why I can’t come with you when you go into the city,” Eren whines as he kicks his feet absently against the wooden beams of the underside of the deck. “Do you even understand how boring it is just to hang around here all day? Fuck, I swear I’m going insane.”

“Oi, watch your language shithead,” Levi scolds but doesn’t look up from where he’s cleaning the various lenses of his camera. “If your mother hears you talking like that I’m the one who’s going to cop the blame.”

Eren smirks and leans back on his hands, peering at Levi over his shoulder. “Well maybe you should just let me come with you into Berlin and I’ll make an effort to clean up my language.”

Levi snorts as he carefully wipes the delicate glass with a cloth. “Your parents think you’re the sweetest little thing when in reality you’re nothing but a manipulative little shit.”

“What can I say; I’m learning from the best.”

It was dry and hot and Levi doesn’t understand why it’s making him so desperately uncomfortable when he’d been to much hotter countries before. He’d had a stint in Australia during the middle of December, yet he didn’t sweat nearly as much as he is now sitting cross-legged on the floor of the guest room with the sliding glass door open to the veranda out front, Eren sitting with his legs hanging over the side as he bugged Levi in that way that fifteen year old boys bugged everybody they met.

Eren lets out a sigh and flops backwards against the decking in a spray of lanky limbs. “It’s too hot for this,” he mumbles as his eyes slip closed.

Levi tries not to stare at the line of his neck, the sweat trickling down to lick at his collarbone, easily visible beneath the neck of his shirt which was too large on him and gliding loose at his shoulder.

It feels like there’s a rock in Levi’s stomach and his throat goes very dry.

“If the heat’s bothering you that much piss off and take a shower or something; leave me the fuck alone,” he rasps and turns his attention back to the unassembled camera, trying desperately to ignore the way his hands shake.

Eren pouts and rolls over, opening up his eyes to watch Levi click and unlick his lenses.

Levi has been here long enough by now to build up a certain – immunity wasn’t the word – tolerance against Eren’s gaze, but when he looks at him like that; nothing but sheer intensity in blue-green eyes … Levi can hardly take it.

“What are you doing?” Eren asks.

Levi doesn’t look, only reaches for another lens. “Making sure I keep my camera in good condition,” he says steadily. “Otherwise I’d ruin the lenses.”

“Is your camera that important to you?” Eren asks and he’s still doing it – looking at Levi like this whole thing is the most important thing in the world to him right now.

“Very,” Levi answers.

“Why?”

“Because,” he says as places the cloth down and reaches for some cotton buds, “it was the very first thing I ever bought for me.”

They fall into silence for a moment, the only sounds the gentle swabbing of cotton buds against the delicate curve of the lens and the outside chirp of cicadas.

“Can I help?” Eren asks and Levi falters.

“With the cleaning?” He specifies, and Eren simply nods.

He means to say ‘no’ – he means to tell Eren that this camera is too precious to him to be handled by a brat who doesn’t know the first thing about photography – but Eren just looks so earnest; like all he wants in life right now is for Levi to let him help.

Levi sighs and pats the floorboards next to him and Eren scurries over eagerly.

“If you drop this,” Levi threatens as he passes Eren his camera, “I fucking swear I’ll kill you and leave you somewhere to be turned to pig shit.”

“Yes, sir,” Eren grins like the brat he is, but his hands are soft and gentle as he weighs it between his fingers and Levi knows without a doubt that Eren would probably sooner cut off his own arm than damage the camera now knowing how much Levi values it.

They sit silently, knees bumping as Levi passes a cotton swab to Eren, watching critically as he starts to clean the camera. He’s not actually doing that bad of a job, if Levi is honest, but it’s not perfect and when it comes to his work everything has to be perfect.

“More like…” he pauses and Eren raises an eyebrow.

“More like what?”

“I don’t know – just not like that.”

Eren sighs and it is loud and obvious and clearly faked. He looks Levi right in the eye. “Well,” he says as he settles in closer and drifts his hands to hover over Levi’s lap, “if I’m doing such a bad job, you’ll just have to show me then, won’t you?”

Eren’s looking right at him, meeting his eyes without flinching, and he knows exactly what he’s doing – Levi can fucking see it in the sharp corners of his mouth, the intensity of his gaze; can feel it in the way he’s brushing much too close to be accidental and leaning in near enough to be nothing short of completely intentional.

Levi has no clue what he’s doing – why he’s reaching for Eren’s hands when he should be putting as much distance between them as possible – but he keeps going anyway, fingers wrapping loose around Eren’s as he guides his wrist slowly in a circle.

They stay like that long after the camera is clean.

.

The thing about photo studios is that they’re always unerringly bright – lit in sprays of artificial light that bounce off sheets of silver here and camera flashes that flare like the sun there.

It’s never really bothered Levi before – it’s his playground, his reason to live – but the thing is he’d never had to try and work with two black eyes before.

Hanji had kept her mouth shut about what had happened and nobody had actually been game enough to ask why Levi looked like he went three rounds with a heavy weight boxer and then some, but he can feel the concerned glances flicked his way every time his back is turned.

It’s all Levi can do to grit his teeth and act professional.

“To the left,” he calls and Eren moves flawlessly, tilting his head so that Levi has a better view of his perfectly angled jawline.

He raises his camera and clicks.

Last time he’d seen Eren he’d been fifteen with more testosterone than brains and a body that was just crossing the line from teenage awkwardness in fits and starts, barely taller than Levi. Now he had an entire five inches on him and was muscular in that lanky way that everybody wanted to be but so few managed.

He looked like a model – he was a model.

Levi raises his camera and Eren’s eyes flicker over, meeting his own for a brief, powerful second.

Then he looks away.

Breathe, Levi reminds himself as he clicks another photo. You’re thirty-five now and you can handle this.

Somebody calls an end to the shoot and as Eren steps out of the light his skin almost ripples in a golden glow.

Levi cannot handle this.

Eren had been gorgeous enough when he was fifteen and had no clue about the effect he had on people. At twenty-four he looks like a fucking sex-god and knows it.

Levi steps away from the shoot set-up and waits patiently for a techie to unplug his camera before he heads for the table in the office where he keeps his padded camera bag. He’s come a long way from the twenty-something that stepped off the back of a pickup in Germany with one set of clothes and a satchel over his shoulder and one of the perks is being able to afford nice things like memory-foam cases.

The office is empty and Levi breathes a sigh of relief as he places his camera gently on the table and zips open his camera bag.

“Good work today,” Eren says behind him and Levi jumps – he’d never even heard him come in.

Eren’s face is unreadable and Levi has no clue how fucking quickly he must have changed to be standing there so easily in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

Levi watches him cautiously. “You’re not going to punch me again, are you?” He asks. “Because you got a free hit in last time but I will hit you back if you try again.”

Eren snorts and holds up his palms in the universal symbol of surrender. “I’m not stupid; I know if it came to a fight you could probably kick my ass. I’ve seen how surprisingly toned you are.”

It’s an innocent comment but a loaded statement and Levi just wishes fervently and with passion that he had perfected a method of coping with his problems that didn’t just involve running away until they could no longer catch him.

Eren was one problem he never thought would, and look where that got him now.

Eren’s gaze flicks behind Levi and he nods at the table. “Is that the same camera?”

Is that the same camera I used to seduce you ten years ago in another country entirely?

Levi turns away from him and busies himself with slipping it back into the case, nestling it comfortably in the foam. “Yeah. I told you before it was important to me.”

Eren laughs. “Oh, I wasn’t sure. I mean, you’ve got a bit of a history of leaving things behind.”

Levi tells himself that the comment doesn’t hurt – that it shouldn’t hurt because it was the fucking truth – but the words still lance and barb all the same and suddenly instead of just being hurt he’s angry too.

Levi spins around and takes a step forward until he’s in Eren’s space, grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him down to eye level. Something that somehow both is and isn’t shock flits over Eren’s face but he makes no move to escape, only raises a hand to grab Levi’s wrist to keep the pair of them steady.

“Listen to me you complete shit for brains retard,” Levi hisses. “I know I fucked up, but it’s been ten years and I’m sorry. Whether you choose to believe me is your own problem, but I will not have you come into my workplace and remind me that I screwed up. It was a mistake and I regret it every day, but you sassing me every time I see you isn’t going to make it go away.”

Something complicated was happening on Eren’s face and he opens his mouth to say something only to shut it again and laugh – a breathless painful twist of a sound as his eyes slip closed.

“Jesus fuck, you don’t get anything, do you?” He asks, and Levi feels like he should be offended but before he can make up his mind Eren is speaking again. “I just… God, Levi. I was fifteen and I was so fucking in love with you that I barely knew what to do with myself when you were around.”

There’s something tight in Levi���s throat and it hurts to breathe past it, but he does anyway. “I know,” he says.

Eren’s eyes fly open and suddenly he grips Levi’s wrist hard enough that Levi’s hand flies open on reflex and Eren’s shirt slips from his fingers, but Eren makes no move to step away only to step in closer, backing Levi against the table with frightening ease and never letting go once.

“No,” he says, and Levi can see the anger plain on his face. “You don’t know. You know why you don’t know? Because when I woke up you were gone. Do you realize how fucking dumb I felt standing in the kitchen with your teeth marks on my neck listening to my mother tell me you’d left for Paris while I was sleeping?” He laughs again but this one is more self-deprecating, a good deal angrier. “It wasn’t like I had any illusions that it was anything more than a fucking joke to you – but it was serious to me.”

Levi’s heart is beating too fast and he can barely think past the nerves live-wiring hot from where Eren’s skin is touching his, but he tries anyway. “You were fifteen,” he says and somehow his voice doesn’t waver. “You were fifteen and there was no way out that didn’t involve hurting you. I shouldn’t have done it at all; but I did and after that all I could do was damage control.”

“Well then,” Eren snaps, his hold almost painful now. “You didn’t do a fucking good job of that, did you?”

Levi closes his eyes and says for what feels like the thousandth time but will still never feel like enough: “I’m sorry.”

It’s silent for a moment except for the steady thump of Levi’s heart and Eren’s harsh breaths.

After a moment Eren’s fingers loosen and Levi’s hand slides free.

“Whatever,” Eren says and Levi has never heard him sound so exhausted. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Levi doesn’t open his eyes; just breathes deeply until he feels Eren step away, the thump of his footsteps as he turns towards the office door.

“Levi?” He says, and it’s only the way it sounds more like a statement than a question that makes Levi look.

Eren is standing still by the door, one hand on the frame and his head turned slightly although he’s not actually looking at him. Levi can see the minute flex of his fingertips against the wood like his fingers want to curl into a fist.

His jaw tightens.

“You were the reason I became a model,” he says.

And then he’s gone.

.

It’d been building for a while between them, but somehow Levi is still unprepared when the dam breaks.

Levi’s shirtless – “fuck, don’t look at me like that Eren, it’s too hot for shirts” – and they’re in his room with nothing but the slow whirl of the fan above for company and the steady shuffle of Eren sorting through some of his photos as he lays sprawled on his stomach on the floorboards, shirt hitching slightly and shorts barely hanging onto his hips.

Levi’s camera is in his hands and it takes everything he has not to just raise it then and there and snap a photo.

Eren shifts slightly and his shirt catches on a loose nail in the floor.

“Eren,” Levi says and points when Eren glances at him. “Carla’s not going to be pleased if you tear your shirt.”

Eren groans and sits up, placing the photos he was flicking through reverently aside – and something in Levi aches at that, the way they’re important to Eren just because they’re important to him – and tugging at the hem with slender fingers.

“Fuck it,” he says, and then repeats with deliberate intent: “It’s too hot for shirts.”

Please no, Levi thinks desperately but Eren’s hands have already slipped under the fabric and he’s stripping it off – not just taking, because Eren Jaeger doesn’t do things by halves, but stripping – and Levi cannot look away from the flex of his spine, the contours of his developing chest, the lines of his collarbone.

He’s beaded with sweat all over.

Levi can barely breathe and his fingers hurt from how tight he’s squeezing his camera.

Eren drops his shirt to the ground with a relieved sigh, raising his arms over his head in a careless stretch. “Much better,” he groans and his eyes flick up to look at Levi and there’s something in them that he doesn’t know how to name. “What?”

“I want to take your picture,” Levi blurts before he can think – before he realizes he’s asking a half-naked fifteen year old boy this question.

Eren blinks at him. “Sure, if you want. I thought you only took photos of like, models and stuff though.”

“Only for a living,” Levi says more calmly than he actually feels as he raises his camera. “I take photos of anything I find beautiful. You ready?”

Eren stares at him and Levi has a suspicion he’s not actually breathing. “Uh, yeah. Whenever is good.”

Eren sits back a bit, rolls his shoulder unintentionally as he leans so his palms are splayed behind him on the floor.

His neck is shiny with sweat and through the viewfinder Levi sees a drop cling to his neck.

He snaps a picture.

It wasn’t like Levi didn’t know – he knew alright. He’d known since the first night Eren had snuck into his room with a grin and a really bad lie that he wanted Levi’s help on his homework. Had known with the way Eren always sat too close, always listened too carefully.

Eren Jaeger’s crush on him was as obvious to him as the inherent beauty of film grain and darkrooms – Levi had just been hoping the fact that he returned the sentiment two fold hadn’t been.

Eren takes in a breath and changes positions slightly, tilting his head and lengthening his neck with a kind of natural ease and grace that was completely at odds with the awkward spread of his shoulders, the way his limbs were gangly in their growth.

Levi snaps another photo and the sound of the shutter going off is achingly loud.

Eren glances up from beneath his lashes and there is something about it that seems intentional in a way that makes all of Levi’s blood run hot at once.

“What should I be doing?” He asks, voice so low and quiet it was almost a murmur.

“Just…” Levi breathes. “Whatever you want.”

Eren’s eyes darken. “Whatever I want?” He repeats – and then he smiles.

Before Levi can realize his intentions Eren has unbuttoned his shorts, unzipped his fly so that Levi can see the black fabric of his boxer-briefs and is leaning backwards on his elbows with his pants barely fucking on looking like a pinup from an adult magazine.

Levi can’t move – the camera is still in his hands.

“Well?” Eren asks, and his voice is low and silky and the faint burr of his accent makes the breath hiss out of Levi all at once. “I was promised you’d be taking pictures.”

Levi swallows deeply and gets to his knees for a better angle, hearing the uneven creak of the floorboards beneath him as he manages to steady the camera in his hands and take another shot.

Eren’s eyes drift from his face, tracing down his body eagerly and coming to a rest on the definite erection Levi has been sporting since Eren all but made taking his shirt off into a fucking striptease.

“Oi,” Levi rasps and Eren’s eyes flick back up but his cheeks are flushed desperately and his breathing is more panting than anything else now. Levi can barely see the green of his irises, his pupils blown wide.

He clicks another photo, shuffles nearer on his knees and takes another and he just keeps moving closer until he’s hovering above Eren, kneeling between his spread legs and close enough that all he’d have to do is shift his hips to brush his groin against Eren’s.

Eren is so painfully and obviously aroused that he’s nearly trembling with it all as Levi aims the camera down at him – and Levi wonders how they’d look if someone took a picture of the both of them right now, shirtless and sweaty and desperately hard for each other.

Levi’s fingers are shaking so much he can barely press the shutter button and every exhale he makes sounds like it could be his last.

Eren’s eyes close and a drop of sweat rolls down his face to curve along his upper lip and Levi has never wanted to  taste anything so badly in his whole life.

“Fuck,” he spits and throws – throws – his camera aside.

The noises Eren makes as Levi’s lips crash into his are needy and pained and desperate – pitched gasps and groans as Levi forcibly knocks him flat to the ground, his hands on Eren’s waist as Eren’s own fingers fly up to clutch hard and tight in Levi’s hair.

“Levi,” he all but moans and Levi’s hips stutter all on their own, pushing down against Eren’s and making him shout as they start grinding together desperately without a single thought, just mindless pressure and pain.

It briefly crosses Levi’s mind that Carla and Grisha were out – that’s it, that’s why Eren was even in his room in the first place – and the relief he feels is immense and overwhelming because he doesn’t think he could stop himself right now if he tried.

“Eren,” he gasps as Eren somehow manages to get his legs around his waist. “Fuck, Eren. I need you to – shit – I need you to slow down.”

Eren whines at that and just ruts them together harder yet and Levi’s vision starts to waver black, the tightness in his gut stretching so taut he feels like nothing short of a grenade.

He’s not going to last long.

Levi fumbles with Eren’s pants, pushing them down far enough that he manages to slide his hand into Eren’s boxers and wrap his fingers around him, feeling the hot weight and wetness as he squeezes.

The sound Eren makes against his lips is a ripped gasp and the grip he has in Levi’s hair should be painful but everything is just intense heat and crippling pleasure and all it does is add a sharp spike in sensation that tears a groan from him as he slides his hand along Eren’s erection in a slick pump.

“Levi, Levi,” Eren gasps and his legs are tight at Levi’s waist and he’s pushing his hips up fervently into his hand, positively writhing beneath him, head titlted back and sweat rippling across his face as he groans and groans, bucking without pause into Levi’s hand.

Levi can’t – he just can’t. Everything is Eren and he doesn’t know why he’s been fighting against this for so long because he’s never felt so good in his life, never wants to not feel this good again, and he thinks he could probably come just from feeling Eren twitching and wet in his hand, seeing how truly desperate he is for him.

“Levi,” Eren pants as one hand slips from his hair to cradle the back of his neck like Eren is holding on for dear life. “I’m going to – I want – please,” he gasps. “I need you to – not just – not just me, okay? I want…” The rest of his sentence trails off but his eyes are suddenly focused and intense, locked completely with Levi’s own. “Please.”

And it’s the same eyes that Levi saw a month ago when he stood outside of this very house covered in travel-grime and sweat and he’s helpless against it, powerless to do anything but bury his face in the crook of Eren’s neck and groan as he fumbles his hand free and manages to finally steady his shaking fingers enough to dig them under his waistband and tug down. Eren raises his hips to help them slide free – moaning as the elastic drags over his dick – before finally pooling at his ankles and being kicked free.

Just like that Eren is naked and panting and flushed beneath Levi, dick hard and slick against his abs and stomach heaving with every desperate inhale and exhale.

Levi wants to touch him – leave nothing untouched – wants to burn this moment into Eren’s skin forever, to make it so every inch of him will remember all the things Levi is going to do to him.

More than that – he wants Eren to want it too. He needs Eren to need him as much as he needs Eren right now.

Eren’s fingers tighten on his shoulders. “Please,” he says again and his voice cracks. “Levi, please.”

Levi swears and it’s all he can do to press a kiss to Eren’s exposed throat before he turns to fumble blindly in his satchel which is lying abandoned behind him.

It takes several painful seconds of searching with his fingertips before he manages to feel the crinkle of the needed little silver packages that have been at the bottom of his bag untouched for all his stay in Berlin.

When he turns back Eren is watching him with wide eyes.

“If you want me to stop,” he says, “you need to tell me now. Eren, I can’t –.”

Eren is shaking his head before Levi can even finish speaking. “What I need,” he says, and he sounds almost coherent, “is for you to get the fuck back over here and touch me before I have to do it myself.”

Christ, Levi thinks as he leans forward and shoves Eren back on the floor as he somehow manages to rip a package of lube open with his teeth because he doesn’t trust himself not to drop it with his fingers. Jesus fucking Christ – I’m doomed.

He opens Eren up as slowly as he possibly can, listening intently for any sign that this is too much, that Eren needs him to stop, but the only thing Eren does is breathe evenly and deeply through the initial uncomfortableness as Levi’s first finger slides slick but deep in him, digging his nails hard enough into Levi’s shoulder blades that he feels the skin break.

It shouldn’t turn him on but it does because everything right now has narrowed to Eren’s touch on his skin and the sound he makes when Levi spreads him open with another finger, leaning forward to take a nipple gently between his teeth so that the pained hiss turns into a groan.

By the time he has a third finger in he manages to find Eren’s prostate, scraping against it as he presses so that Eren actually cries out and clings to Levi in a shaking, sobbing mess as he pushes back on his fingers, trying to get him to find the spot again and Levi just can’t hold out anymore.

He pulls away and Eren makes a garbled complaint that Levi can’t even understand because he slipped back into German a while ago, but when he sees Levi tearing open the condom packet his breath hitches and he turns his head away, but the way his dick is twitching against his stomach tells Levi it’s out of embarrassment rather than fear.

Still, he pauses as he settles between Eren’s legs and smooths one hand along his cheek until he can once again see the green – so fucking intense, god – of Eren’s eyes.

“Okay?” He asks, and he hasn’t touched his own cock once and he’s so fucking hard and desperate but he needs one final affirmation from Eren before he can allow himself to do this.

Eren’s lashes cast spider-web shadows on his cheeks as his eyes close and he raises one arm to cover them, but he nods firmly, gripping at Levi’s shoulder with a hand.

Levi takes a breath and pushes in.

It takes everything he has not to hold Eren down and fuck him mercilessly – he feels his breath knocked out of him as Eren tenses around him and he’d known Eren was a virgin but any memories Levi has about first-time sex are foggy at best so he’s completely unprepared for the way Eren’s body feels so tight it rips every last piece of oxygen from him as thoroughly as if he’d stepped into a vacuum.

Eren’s hiding his face behind his arm but his chest is rising and falling so rapidly that Levi feels a flare of alarm. “Hey,” he coaxes as he takes Eren’s wrist to pull his arm away. Eren resists for a second but ultimately allows Levi to move it. “Do you need me to stop?”

The idea of stopping is nearly physically painful with the way his cock is throbbing and his brain is urging him to just slam his hips forward, but Levi’s not a fucking animal and if this is too much – if Eren can’t – he’ll end it as easily as he’d begun it.

“That’s not…” Eren’s voice is hoarse and gasping. “Just… Slowly, okay?”

Levi bends and presses a kiss to his forehead before he starts them at a rhythm.

It’s so slow it hurts but with each steady roll of his hips Eren grows less and less tense, arms coming up to circle Levi’s back as he makes an effort to move with him, face buried in Levi’s shoulder until Levi manages to find his sweet spot and he lets out a strangled shout and presses his fingers hard enough into Levi’s back to bruise.

“Again,” he begs and Levi angles and pushes and is rewarded by a strained groan as Eren buckles beneath him and urges Levi’s hips harder and harder – faster, faster, faster.

“Fuck,” Levi gasps as he presses his hands into the floor either side of Eren’s twisting body, thrusting with abandon and feeling the clench in his stomach, the white-out of his vision. Eren’s so warm and hot and fucking beautiful and Levi’s not going to be able to hold out any longer he’s –

Eren cries out and tenses around him hard, back arching off the floor and eyes flying wide open as his orgasm hits.

The sight of him – the hot feel of his come spurting against his stomach – is too much for Levi and he shudders desperately as he feels everything inside him snap and he’s only dimly aware of one of his hands on Eren’s hips as he holds him to the ground, of pushing himself deep inside of him, but it’s all background noise to the thrumming in his head and the hot spill of his blood. “Eren,” he gasps aloud; and he keeps on gasping it until he can see again.

They’re both still, panting against each other’s skins, and it takes Levi a long moment before he can move, pulling out of Eren as gently as he can. A small hiss of pain escapes him anyway and Levi can do nothing but press his lips to his collarbone in apology because he might not remember much about his first time but he does remember how raw it tends to leave you.

He doesn’t look at Eren as he shuffles back, stripping the condom off and tying it as he drops it in the bin by his desk before grabbing a handful of tissues and wiping Eren’s come off his stomach.

Levi doesn’t really know what to do now – if there’s a protocol for this. Everything in him is screaming to just do up his pants, find a shirt and run as far away as he possibly can.

Eren’s still lying on his back but he’s staring at the ceiling, not even looking at him.

Levi wonders if he’s just fucked things up beyond repair because Eren is fifteen – and he knows he hasn’t done anything technically illegal; consent in Germany is fourteen so Eren’s been legal for close to two years – but illegal and wrong don’t always coincide.

“I don’t suppose,” Eren says into the silence and Levi starts, “that I could convince you to just stop thinking about things for a second and lie down with me?”

Eren looks at him and smiles – eyes bright and clear but tired in a way that losing your virginity to a man ten years your senior will leave you.

Levi hesitates – considers just getting up and bolting – but Eren’s just staring at him wordlessly with nick and scrapes from Levi’s teeth on his neck and bruises from his fingers on his waist and Levi doesn’t want to say no.

Slowly – and Levi doesn’t know who he thinks will bolt if he moves too quickly; him or Eren – he crawls along the floor until he’s by Eren’s side and it’s too hot for this, they’re covered in sweat from heat and sex and it is definitely too hot for this, but when Eren cautiously takes his arm and drapes it behind his shoulders Levi can’t help but pull him close.

They stay like that for so long Levi loses track of time. At some point the sun goes down and Eren’s breathing goes from being deep and measured to soft and even and Levi realizes he’s fallen asleep.

He’s twenty-five years old and he’s lying on a floor in Berlin with his arms around a teenager whose virginity he’s just taken.

Levi closes his eyes and breathes deeply through the sheer onslaught of panic.

Eren is fifteen and has his whole life ahead of him and if the Jaegers learn that Levi has essentially deflowered their barely-legal teenage son he can’t even pretend he knows the shit show that would go down.

He turns his head slightly and feels the brush of Eren’s dark hair against his chin as he looks down at him.

He’s gorgeous and tenacious and everything he says and does makes Levi never want to let him go.

It’s that thought more than anything – the possessive urge to stay and give up on all his dreams, to put aside his rising status as an international photographer and fuck what anybody else thought – that galvanises Levi into action.

Slowly, so as not wake Eren, he shifts his arm from underneath him and rolls away.

Eren’s eyes flutter slightly but he doesn’t wake as Levi gets to his feet, doesn’t stir when Levi drags the blanket off his bed and drops it over him.

It’s a mark of how few possessions he has that he manages to be packed in under five minutes.

Standing at the doorway with his bag slung over one shoulder and his camera in his hands Levi feels inexplicably lost. He doesn’t know what he’s doing – where the fuck he plans on going now – and it’s all he can do just to take a moment to stare at Eren, the naked sprawl of his skin and the snarls of his hair brushing loose along his brow.

This will be the last time Levi ever sees him.

The snap of his shutter is lonely and loud in the room and by the time Eren wakes up five hours later – confused and hurt and alone – Levi is on a plane to France.

.

Levi doesn’t remember how he figured out where Eren lives – doesn’t remember anything that seems to have happened before that fifth drink, really – but somehow he’s standing out front of his apartment door with no clue how he got there.

Eren answers after the first knock and Levi doesn’t wait to catch the look of shock or disgust or whatever else he’d be after discovering Levi standing outside at one in the morning, only steps in so suddenly Eren has no choice but to step back and kicks the door aggressively closed behind him.

“What –.” Eren starts to say but Levi reaches up and grabs his shirt and shoves;topples them both to the ground in one fluid movement so that Eren is sprawled on his back and Levi is straddling his waist, legs folded either side of his hips while his fingers clench tight in Eren’s shirt – the second time in less than twenty-four hours.

“Do you hate me?” He growls and Eren just gapes.

“Levi, what the –.”

“It’s a simple question, you shithead. Four words and a question mark – don’t act like you can’t fucking understand me. Do you hate me?”

Eren just stares up at him with wide eyes and Levi can’t – he’s just so fucking angry. Angry because Eren had to come back into his life, angry because he couldn’t fucking leave well enough alone, angry because Eren had grown up in ten years but still managed to be exactly the same person and angry because some part of him thinks he’s been stuck on standstill ever since the day he left Eren lying there on the floor.

He was just angry.

“Are you drunk?” Eren asks after a pause and Levi averts his gaze. Eren sighs, runs a hand through his hair and somehow manages to look more exasperated than anything else, like Levi hadn’t just stalked him to his goddamn apartment and practically assaulted him. “Do you need me to like, I don’t know, call a cab for you or something?”

Levi narrows his eyes and tightens his grip on Eren’s shirt, settling himself properly on his chest so that Eren winces under the pressure of his weight. “I can walk home just fine,” – except for the fact he probably can’t, because he doesn’t even remember getting here, doesn’t even really remember where here is – “and I’ll leave just as soon as you answer my question.”

“Levi,” Eren says, and Levi can hear the patronizing tone before he even starts speaking, feels it boil his blood because ten years ago Eren worshiped the ground he walked on and now here he is speaking like Levi is a particularly dull child – he doesn’t know why he’s so upset when this is exactly what he should want. “You’re drunk off your face and white as a sheet. We’ve got work tomorrow, so you should probably go home.”

“Answer the question.”

“Or alternatively,” Eren proposes without skipping a beat, “you can sleep on the sofa if you think you can’t make it back to your apartment.”

It occurs to Levi that Eren is dodging the question but the realization doesn’t make it to anywhere in his brain that is saturated with ten ounces of vodka. “You don’t want me in your apartment,” he scoffs.

“Whether I want you in my apartment or not isn’t the point,” Eren hisses. “You’re drunk and unfortunately you’re here and I’m not the kind of person to let a co-worker – fuck, anybody – walk home when they’re too smashed to see straight.”

Levi closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath but doesn’t move from his perch, feeling the steady rise of Eren’s chest beneath his thighs. “All you have to say is ‘yes’ and I’m gone,” he says. “One word is all it takes, Eren. Do you hate me?”

Eren stays silent beneath him.

Levi’s eyes fly open and without meaning to – without thinking about what he’s doing – he yanks Eren up by his shirt so their faces are barely half an inch apart. “I need you to tell me you hate me,” he snaps. “I – just – fuck. You need to say yes – why the fuck won’t you say it? Is this your way of getting revenge? You think if you just stay silent long enough you’ll hurt me so bad I can’t recover? Fuck, I always knew you were a manipulative shit. Is that what this is about, Eren? Revenge?”

“I don’t know what this is about because I have no clue what the fuck you’re saying!” Eren roars so suddenly that Levi’s heart freezes because he’s never heard Eren raise his voice like that– never seen that look on his face before.

Bad move, he thinks suddenly, abort.

Levi goes to move, to dismount and back away as quickly as possible, but he’s drunk and Eren’s not and he stands no chance when Eren lurches to his knees with enough force that Levi falls to the ground, Eren looming over him, boxing him in with hands either side of his head as he glares down at Levi with enough intensity that something that had been unhinged in his mind since he’d decided drinking away his sorrows was the best course of action slots into place.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Eren spits. “Do you want the truth, Levi? Because the truth is I’ve spent ten years of my life being pissed off at you but not once in all of those years have I ever thought I hated you.”

No, Levi thinks as he stares blankly up at him, fingers curling into fists at his sides because this isn’t going the way he needs it to go. He needs Eren to say it – he needs Eren to tell him how much he hates him, how despicable and horrible he is. He needs Eren to cut off that last connection between them because Levi can’t do it himself.

He needs to give up on Eren and yet Eren is – typically – making it all very difficult.

“You’ve been so hung up on the fact that I was fifteen that it seems to slip your mind that I’m not anymore.” Eren’s jaw is set in that distinct way he’s had all of his life, a tight line of effortless tension as he breathes in shallow breaths. “I was so angry at you – I still fucking am – but more than that, I thought if I ever met you again I’d like you to treat me like I’m worth something. I thought…” Eren trails off and makes a pained noise. “I thought it’d be nice if – just once – you could look at me the way you look at the world through your camera.”

Levi stares at him, at the way his expression has slipped from fury to wistfulness to earnestness all in the course of a single confession. The furrow between his brows is familiar – the light in his eyes and the tight corners of his mouth.

It’s the same expression it’s always been.

Levi’s drunk – he’s sobered up some since coming here, but he’s still drunk enough to count – so when he speaks, when the words blurt out of his mouth like fucking verbal diarrhoea, he chooses to blame it on that.

“I still have a photo of you,” he says and Eren’s eyes go wide. “The last one I ever took – snapped it as I was walking out the door.” He laughs, low and a little desperate. “It’s pathetic, isn’t it? I deleted every copy of the other shots and kept that one all because I remember thinking ‘this is the last time I’ll ever see him’ – and yet here you are; because apparently it’s not enough to fuck up my life without meaning to ten years ago, you have to do it again now.”

“You’re drunk,” Eren says, but he says it like he’s trying to convince himself of something.

“I am,” Levi admits. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not telling you the truth.”

Eren moves; shifting in closer so his body is lying pretty much parallel to Levi’s, lowering himself down onto his elbow to free his hands so he can cup Levi’s face gently between them, stroking his thumbs over the bruising beneath his eyes.

Levi’s breath falters and all he can see above him is green.

“If I were to kiss you,” Eren whispers and the words ghost soft over Levi’s skin, “would you let me?”

God yes, Levi thinks but no words come out of his mouth – it’s like his brain froze somewhere between admitting that he’s never been – never will be – over Eren Jaeger and now this whole situation is no longer in his hands.

Eren pushes his hair out of his eyes and it’s so tender and careful and the way that Eren is looking at him isn’t much better.

“You don’t have to answer me now,” Eren says. “And if you did I wouldn’t hold you to it. Actually, no. Never mind. Forget it. You’re still drunk and I just, I shouldn’t…”

Eren goes to move back and finally something in Levi snaps into life as Eren shifts to his knees and away from him.

He doesn’t think – doesn’t stop to doubt himself or remember – only reaches up to fist his hand in Eren’s hair and yank him back to him.

It’s been ten years since the last time they did this and Levi can feel every single one of them in the way that Eren responds to his kiss – that is to say immediately and with skill and confidence that hadn’t been there before, but the clear enthusiasm with which he whole-heartedly devotes himself to it is exactly the same.

The feel of his lips moving against his own, the soft push as he manoeuvres Levi’s mouth open and deepens the kiss with a careful flick of his tongue – all of it fills something up inside of Levi that hasn’t been whole since Berlin.

Levi’s drunk enough that it could have devolved into sex right then and there, but it’s Eren who pulls away first, pressing one last quick peck to Levi’s lips.

“Where are you going?” Levi demands as Eren moves away from him, making grabbing gestures in his general direction. “Get the fuck back down here.”

Eren smiles and catches one of his hands, bringing it up to his lips and laying a light kiss along his knuckles. “No, if we’re doing this we’re doing it right,” he says, and his voice is so determined that Levi suddenly doesn’t doubt that they can do this. “I don’t think sex while you’re drunk is a good idea right now.”

“Says you,” Levi snorts but he allows Eren to pull him up. “I think it’s an excellent idea.”

Eren laughs and doesn’t let go of his hand as he leads him through the apartment. “Of course you do; and if you still think that when you wake up maybe we’ll give it a shot.”

“When I wake up?” Levi asks and raises an eyebrow.

“Well,” Eren mulls as he pushes open the door to the bedroom. “I did say you could stay at my apartment tonight. I’m even going to be nice and say you don’t have to take the couch.”

“How generous,” Levi says when what he really means is: are we really going to try this after everything that’s happened and Eren squeezes his hand when what he really means is: I’m willing to try if you are.

It’s dark in the room when Eren clicks the door shut and Levi sits down on the edge of the bed and waits.

He doesn’t wait long.

For a gesture that is so traditionally associated with the erotic there’s nothing even remotely sexual about it when Eren slips his fingers under the hem of Levi’s shirt and levers it over his head, folding it neatly at the end of the bed because he remembers how much Levi hates crumpled clothing. Levi reaches up and helps Eren out of his; expertly folding it atop of his own because he knows Eren won’t do it himself.

The covers rustle loudly as they slip under them and – for a moment – Levi can’t bring himself to actually close the little strip of no-man’s land between them because last time he let himself hold Eren everything had gone to shit.

“You’re thinking too much again,” Eren says and it comes out rather quiet in the moon painted silence of the bedroom.

Levi closes his eyes and works to still the panicked thrumming of his heart. The combination of nerves and alcohol is making him dizzy in an uncomfortable way.

“Hey,” Eren says, and Levi feels his fingers on his arms as he slides in close. “You alright?”

No, Levi thinks desperately because he’s a little afraid this is all a dream; that maybe Eren did show up in his life three days ago but the fist to his face sent him into a coma along the way.

It seems like the only rational explanation right now.

“If this whole thing turns out to be because of brain swelling, I swear I’ll hunt you down and murder you myself,” Levi whispers into Eren’s shoulder and feels the way he shakes with laughter against him.

“You say the most romantic things,” Eren snickers, but his fingers comb softly though his hair and Levi can feel him sombre up. “I’m not saying this is going to be easy. I’m not going to pretend that you didn’t hurt me, but I’m starting to realize it was a lot more about hurting each other. We were young and you were stupid,” Levi snorts into his skin and Eren allows himself a brief smile before continuing, “and we both fucked each other up good.  It’s not going to fix itself overnight, but I’m thinking we just might get there in the end.”

Levi sucks in a deep breath and then another and everything smells like warmth and summer and Berlin – like Eren.

He could get used to this, he thinks as Eren’s fingers trace shapeless patterns on his shoulders, the warmth at his side and the skin so close to his – he could get used to it.

.

Levi’s life is a mess for a year and a half before he caves and calls Erwin.

“I fucked up,” he says the second he answers the phone. “I fucked up so bad, Erwin, I really did.”

Erwin doesn’t ask him what he means or where he is or even what he’s been doing since he left a note on the Jaeger’s kitchen table nearly eighteen months ago and vanished without a trace. He doesn’t even pause or go silent or ask why Levi is calling him now of all times; the only thing he says is: “What do you need?”

Erwin gets him on the first flight from Amsterdam to New York and is waiting for him at Kennedy when his plane lands nine hours later.

“You reek,” he says by way of greeting and it’s a mark of how well he knows him that he doesn’t even try to take his bag, only hands him a coffee and turns to walk, expecting Levi to follow him without a word.

He does.

There’s a car outside with Hanji at the wheel and when Levi slides into the backseat looking like a fucking bum she simply grins and asks if he’d settle the debate that 90’s rock will always be better than 80’s, thank you very much Erwin.

Levi doesn’t say a word, just watches as New York whizzes by outside the window and wonders vaguely when he let himself gets so bad that his hands shake hard enough that he can’t even hold his camera.

They pull in at a hotel and Hanji hands the keys over to the valet before sauntering off towards the nearest shopping centre with the intention of probably buying Levi a whole new wardrobe, wiggling her fingers over her shoulder at him as she goes.

Erwin checks him into a sprawling room on the thirteenth floor and doesn’t comment when Levi veers straight for the bathroom upon arrival and shuts the door firmly behind himself.

He looks at the shower – large and gorgeous and spacious – and imagines trying to stand for long enough to get clean, imagines not and collapsing on the tiles so Erwin has to kick down the door and drag his naked, shivering ass to the emergency room.

Levi turns to the tub and tries not to be ashamed of how badly his legs shake as he strips off and slides in, holding heavily to the rim as he goes because the fucking bathtub is nearly as deep as he is tall when he sits down.

Because Levi is someone who has spent the past several months with infrequent access to things like soap and shampoo he stays in the bathroom for over an hour and washes his hair no less than six times until strands of it come away in his soaped up hands and his fingertips start to swell from the constant rubbing.

He goes to get out only to discover that sometime in the last seventy-odd minutes his legs had given up on him and he can do nothing but slosh water everywhere as he staggers to his knees on the ground, sopping wet and cold and trembling.

His vision goes black and he can’t move, only sink to the floor and try to breathe through the way the room spins fast enough around him that he’s almost sick on the expensive marble beneath him.

He hears the door creak behind him but if he opens his eyes to look he’ll be sick.

“You’re a mess,” Erwin says bluntly and Levi laughs so hard he ends up winded.

Erwin waits until Levi’s breathing evens out and his vision comes back in sprays of shuddering colour before he approaches, tossing a towel over his shoulders so that it settles on his damp skin and Levi levers himself upright, pulling the towel around him as he leans against the bath for support.

Erwin’s sleeves are rolled up to his elbows as he bends over to unplug the tub and the sharp rattle of the water draining is unnecessarily loud in Levi’s ears.

“Hanji dropped some clothes off,” Erwin says. “Do you want me to bring them in?”

Levi considers his chances of being able to stand long enough to get on a fucking pair of pants and then considers the alternative of having Erwin dress him like a toddler. His pride is in fucking tatters as it is sitting butt-fuck naked on the floor of a hotel room he hadn’t even paid for and he doesn’t think he could handle the idea of sinking even lower.

He shakes his head. “I’ll just sit here for a second,” he says as nonchalantly as he can. “Catch my breath.”

Erwin eyes him in that completely impassive way he has before sighing and lowering himself to the floor to sit beside him without a word.

The wall across from the tub is completely made up of mirrors and Levi has been making a concentrated effort not to look since he’d realized, but with Erwin sitting quietly beside him and soft shivers racking his shoulders he finds his eyes drawn to it.

He’s pale and skinny and his hair has grown long enough that it licks at his shoulders and his eyes are sallow and rimmed black. Levi hasn’t even made a token attempt at modesty with the towel only hanging loose around his shoulders and his shuddering frame is visibly gaunt.

There are obvious needle marks in the insides of his elbows.

Erwin meets his eyes in the mirror and Levi looks away.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Erwin asks, voice casual like asking after lunch plans. “I’m not going to make you but I can’t help until I know what I’m dealing with.”

Levi closes his eyes and feels his stomach twist again because he doesn’t even know where to begin. He chooses to go for the simplest explanation.

“I fucked the Jaeger's fifteen year old kid,” he says tiredly. “And, if I’m being honest, I probably would have done it again if I’d stuck around.”

It’s silent except for the drip of water.

“Well,” Erwin says after a considerable pause, “if I had been aware you planned on sleeping with their barely-legal son I might not have told them that you’d be the perfect guest to have in their home.”

Levi snorts and the way it almost hurts is pathetic. “I’m fully aware I fucked up.”

“The thing is; I don’t think you are. You made a mistake – but running off all over Europe for eighteen months making a thousand more doesn’t solve anything. What did you think you were accomplishing by disappearing off the map? You can’t unfuck Eren by torturing yourself like this.”

“I’m not torturing myself,” Levi snaps.

“Levi,” Erwin says without missing a beat. “You can’t even hold your camera right now. Forget whatever you’ve been doing in the interim; that alone tells me everything I need to know.”

Levi wants to laugh at him – or maybe at himself – but he’s tired and thin and cold. The best he can do is shrug because Erwin’s right and Levi has been doing a lot of stupid shit since Berlin; diving into the seediest worlds of fashion and photography until he emerged in a completely different world entirely.

It had been a distraction from dreaming about green eyes and gold skin and every time it didn’t work – every time Levi woke hard and panting with the taste of Eren on his lips – the angrier he got.

“I don’t know what to do,” Levi admits suddenly, and runs shaky fingers through his hair. The towel slips off the flex of his shoulders. “You’re right. Fuck. I’m a goddamn mess. I don’t even remember the last time I worked. I don’t remember the last time I took a fucking picture.” He laughs even though he knows it’ll hurt and he’s not wrong. “Look at me; I’m sitting naked on the floor of a bathroom because I don’t trust myself not to fall the moment I stand up. If this isn’t rock bottom I don’t know what is.”

Levi doesn’t really know how to cry – doesn’t remember the last time he did, if ever – so the most he’s capable of doing with his sheer frustration is squeezing his fingers into fists as his shoulders shake.

There’s the sound of expensive shoes on water-slick marble as Erwin gets back to his feet, dusting his hands lightly on his trousers as he stands. “You might not have been aware during your little spree of self-pity, but in the past few months quite a few of your photos have made it into well respected magazines,” Erwin says evenly and Levi frowns, uncertain where he was taking this. “It’s probably just as well you disappeared for no verifiable reason because at least nobody has seen the wreck you’ve become. Your reputation is still intact and your work admired.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Levi asks flatly as Erwin bends to pick up the fallen towel, draping it carefully over Levi’s shoulders again before extending a hand to help him to his feet. Levi stares at it for a moment before taking it and letting Erwin slowly pull him up. His legs ache and the action leaves him annoyingly breathless but he doesn’t fall.

“What I’m trying to say is you can still come back. One of my lead photographers quit just the other week and I’ve not yet looked into hiring a new one.”

“You want me to work for you?” Levi asks skeptically as his fingers slip from Erwin’s.

“If you’d like,” Erwin says neutrally. “I’m not offering you a job just as a friend; I’m offering you a job because of your talent.”

Levi considers it for a moment and then decides why the fuck not. It’s not like he’s got other plans and he thinks he’s probably done with the international circuit for a while.

“I’m homeless and poor and I’m probably going to go through the worst detox in the world in the next few weeks,” he says flatly to Erwin as he raises his fingers to the edge of the towel, pulling it closer around him. “I’m going to be hell to be around for a while until I get back on my feet and if you ever ask me to go anywhere near Berlin I’ll probably quit on the spot.” He raises an eyebrow. “Is that okay with you?”

“Sounds perfect,” Erwin agrees.

Six months later Levi has an apartment with his name on the lease and a job with fucking dental benefits.

People at work call him ‘Sir’ and Levi can’t remember the last time someone who wasn’t a back-alley drug dealer looked at him and saw a ‘Sir’.

Nobody asks what he did while he was on what Erwin has explained as a Hiatus and nobody asks why there isn’t a single photo he’s published from his time in Berlin.

The truth is Levi has a lot of photos from Berlin – of the fashion shows and the magazines that commissioned him – and he’d thought about publishing them once or twice because Hanji seemed to be a firm believer in better late than never, but every time he looks at them he’s reminded of long days shirtless beneath the soft whirl of his fan and the way Eren laughed.

Levi gives the whole lot to Erwin and tells him to do as he pleases; which is evidently nothing, because he never sees them again.

The photos of Eren are a different story entirely.

The first time Levi picks up his camera again and sees them he panics.

He’d never actually looked at them after they were taken and it’s highly possible that it had been the last time he’d used his camera since. He’d all but forgotten their existence so busy pushing anything and everything related to Eren to the back of his mind.

They seem endless as he flicks through and Levi wants nothing more than to delete them all – to never have to be reminded of the way Eren’s face flushed when aroused or how his eyes clouded dark when Levi towered over him.

So he does.

His finger on the delete button is heavy as he mashes it repeatedly and watches Eren’s face vanish in seconds. He hits it again and again – six times endlessly.

The last photo stops him in his tracks.

It’s Eren still but it’s not the seductive sprawl of his body, the smirk on his lips – it’s that one last photo Levi snapped as he walked out the door.

He needs to delete it.

Eren’s gone and they’re done and Levi just needs to let it go.

He’s over it now. He’s moved on.

He prints the picture off ten minutes later and deletes the digital from his camera. He can’t explain to himself why he does it without sounding pathetic – only that of all the photos that came from Berlin; this is the only one that feels beautiful.

The only problem is the moment he has it in his hand, he knows he’s never going to be able to look at it again.

The photo goes in a box at the back of his closet and never comes out.

He knows he’s not moving on – can’t possibly be if he can’t bear not to have a reminder of Berlin – but as he closes the closet door he convinces himself he will.

He’ll get over Eren Jaeger one day and in the meantime he’s willing to wait.

.

Levi wakes up to soft morning sunlight and green eyes.

“Hey,” Eren smiles as Levi blinks blearily at him.

“What time is it?” He rasps, staring groggily at the way Eren’s hair stood up in all directions like he was actually a dog rather than a goddamn model.

“Just past nine.”

Levi frowns. “We’re late for work.”

“Already called Erwin,” Eren says in reply. He raises his brow and smirks. “Somehow, he didn’t seem all that surprised to hear from me. He says the both of us should take the day off.”

Levi starts and goes to sit up only for Eren to grab his wrist and haul him back down. “You told him?”

“No, no,” Eren assures him as he strokes his fingers soothingly along Levi’s arm in a way that relaxes him embarrassingly fast. “He just seemed to know.”

It does sound like Erwin, Levi has to admit, and while he doesn’t think Erwin is quite devious enough to have plotted this outcome from the start – although he would certainly be capable of it – he thinks that Erwin probably considered it a pleasant bonus.

Reluctantly Levi relaxes back into the mattress and Eren immediately shuffles in closer, tilting Levi’s jaw with two fingers and smiling at him.

“I have gross morning breath,” Levi warns.

Eren laughs. “I really could care less,” he says and leans in to kiss him.

The kiss is lazy and pointless in a way that none of their kisses in the past had been – there is nothing intentional in the way they move their lips; no desired outcome or objective. It’s just Levi’s hands on Eren’s bare shoulders and Eren’s hair tickling his face. When Eren pulls back after a solid minute it takes everything Levi has not to just stare at him blankly.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that,” Eren whispers like it’s a secret and something in Levi breaks.

“I love you,” he blurts. “You’re a little shit and you annoy the fucking piss out of me and probably will until the day I die; but fucking hell, I love you.”

Eren’s mouth drops and he stares at him for such a long moment that Levi’s heart trips in his chest and he digs his fingers into Eren’s shoulders to keep from rolling out of bed and running because it’s about time he took a chance on something.

“You’re … you’re not just saying that to shut me up or something, are you?” Eren asks, although his voice is weak and his eyes are wide.

Levi huffs and nudges him in the calf with his toe. “Have I ever done something so stupid?”

And then – slowly, like the sun coming out on a cloudy day – Eren smiles; stupidly happy and a little baffled but mostly like Levi’s just given him a fucking gold ring and asked him if he fancies a trip to the altar.

He doesn’t say anything back and Levi doesn’t need to hear it anyway; Levi has never been a fan of words because it’s all too easy to lie, but Eren has never been a fan of actions because ten years ago Levi taught him they’re easy enough to walk away from.

“We should probably go shower,” Eren says as he tucks his face into the small of Levi’s neck and places a gentle kiss to his throat. “You smell like you’ve been rolling around behind the bar at the world’s most illegal nightclub.”

Levi snorts but threads his fingers through Eren’s hair and tries to act like the honest domesticity of the situation isn’t vaguely frightening. “And by shower do you mean actually shower or something else entirely?”

Eren smirks against his skin. “That depends,” he says, “on your definition of ‘something else entirely’.”

Levi’s not sure on his definition but Eren’s apparently involves pinning Levi to the shower wall by his hips and sucking him off with such ease that Levi is hissing out curses with his fingers in Eren’s hair to avoid coming in under five minutes.

“Fuck,” he swears as Eren does a thing with his tongue that makes him throw his head back hard enough to hurt when it hits the wall.

Eren pulls away. “Too quick?” He asks, and it should sound like he’s teasing but instead it just sounds like he’s genuinely wondering if he needs to slow down or not.

“It’s going to be over very quickly if you keep that up,” he warns and Eren laughs at him but lets Levi tug him back up for a kiss.

Levi’s arms are around Eren’s shoulders as Eren grinds against him with enough force that Levi is all but helplessly pinned to the wall beneath him. It’s been a long time and Eren’s fucking grown and not just goddamn physically either; the way he moves is much more practiced and Levi tries to stamp down on the jealousy that pumps through him at the thought.

“Levi,” Eren groans as he sucks a bruise against his neck, rutting their hips together easily. The water makes their cocks drag against each other with just the right amount of friction and when Eren manages to get a hand between them to jerk them both off Levi rakes his nails hard enough down the length of his spine that Eren nearly shouts.

It’s over pretty quickly after that – Eren squeezes so hard that Levi near goddamn sees stars and everything whites out for one pure, blissful minute as he comes.

When he settles back down to reality his forehead is resting in the crook of Eren’s neck and Eren’s fingers are loose on his hips – the spray of the showerhead is alarmingly cool on his heated skin.

“Wow,” Eren says into his hair and Levi snorts.

“Don’t pretend like you haven’t had completely mind-blowing sex that knocks this out of the water,” he mutters and he feels Eren’s fingers tighten on his hips.

“It’s not about the sex you have but who you have it with,” Eren replies and Levi’s heart actually freezes because he may not believe in the value of words, but he’s about a hundred percent sure Eren just told him that this is then, now and forever.

“You’re an idiot,” he says into his shoulder and tries to fight the smile he can feel building. “You’re a fucking dork. I have no clue what I see in you.”

“Well,” Eren ponders and Levi can feel him smirking against his forehead, “someone told me a long time ago that he only takes pictures of things he finds beautiful and I like to think he might have been talking about more than the fact I grew up to become a model.”

Levi closes his eyes shut and grins.

He’s thirty-five years old and standing naked under a shower with the man he’s spent the last ten years thinking was a dead-end. Tomorrow he’s going to have to go into work wearing Eren’s teeth marks on his neck and he’s sure makeup is going to flip when they see the scratches he just left on Eren’s back. Erwin’s going to be unbearably smug about the whole thing and Hanji’s going to be completely insufferable.

Levi finds for the first time in his life he really doesn’t care.

“You know what,” he says as he moves his lips to hover over Eren’s.

“What?” Eren smiles against his mouth.

“I think you might be right,” he says, and pulls him down for a kiss.

[xiaomomowrites]

day’s not over yet

Attack on Titan | Eruri

Summary:  Cleaning is his way of coping, he knows. It’s a futile attempt to clean the blood off his hands. The evening begins to settle through the window, pulling the sun and it’s warmth with it down into the horizon where it's sure to come back in the morning, should they be alive to see it. The room’s getting cold, and Erwin’s getting restless. “I’m sorry.”

Find it on fanfiction.net y’all :D {mikasa-heichou}

A/N:  I’ve been rewatching AOT with my sister and we both forgot how badass Erwin actually is lol. I have so much respect for that man, I miss him. I wanted to write this to kind of get into Levi’s head and project a lot of my feelings onto the both of them and see how it turned out, and I’m happy with how it’s looking. I hope somewhere, someone can relate to this and find some solace in the fact that they’re not alone. Thank you for reading, leave me some love~

--

At this point, there were bound to be more losses and deaths than wins. Even little wins. Their world, cursed with Titans, left little to no room for blissful domesticity. Those who indulge in and entertain the thought of a merry life following the uncertain victory over the Titan-riddled world were deluded and annoyingly optimistic, and yet, Levi found himself holding some degree of respect for them. It was not easy maintaining hope in these kind of conditions.  

The expedition was a failure. A horrible one, at that. The amount of blood shed was truly atrocious. Petra, Gunter, Eld, Oluo, all gone in the blink of a fucking eye. Levi was devastated, to say the absolute least. No amount of consoling and blame could fill the void in his heart at the moment. And yet he was still tasked with carrying the mission through to the end. He was a soldier, the Commander’s right hand man, there was no room for mistakes, even if the margin for error was rather vast.

“Commander, what are all these deaths even for?!

Disgusting. He leads all these people into battle with no real objective. We’re paying our taxes for this miserable dump of ‘soldiers’?

Give me my son, Smith! I want my son back, you bastard! His blood is on your hands, now pay for your sins!

You’re killing us, Erwin. You’re killing us! This is on you! This will always be on you!”

The door closed behind him. Levi slumped against the heavy oak, drawing a heavy sigh as he gently tugged at the cravat that was no longer white. Stained red, instead, with the death of many soldiers. His soldiers. He wandered aimlessly around his quarters, peeling off layers and unbuckling old metal. Levi reaches down to pull his boots off when his ankle suddenly screams at him to stop whatever he was doing. Pain jolts up his leg and into his hip as he moves to try to settle around the injury. After the troops were brought back into the walls, Levi had disappeared into his room to think before anyone else could try to talk to him, or worse, coax him into getting his ankle checked.

He scowled, stumbling to sit on the edge of his bed. He heaved a breath and attempted once more, only for it to bitch at him again.

Trouble.

Levi was near cutting off the leg as a means to get the boot off so long as it meant he could lay the fuck down without dirtying his bed. Bloodied sheets wouldn’t matter, anyway. Not when your heart was so numb it no longer did what it was supposed to do.

His mind began spiraling again, delving into its deepest, darkest pits. The images of death raced through his mind again. Petra, slumped against a tree. Gunter, hanging like a freshly slaughtered pig. Eld, bitten in half as if he were a vegetable someone tried to eat but couldn’t bring themselves to stomach the bitter taste. Oluo, bright eyes dead and devoid of any life. Disgusting, it was disgusting. Filthy, so fucking filthy. So much blood, so much death. Gone, gone, they’re gone. You can’t bring them back. You failed them again. You failed, you failed, you f-

There’s a hand on his shoulder. His mind  snapped back to reality, eyes refocusing as if his soul re enters his body after dissociating via astral projection. Levi looks up somberly, gray eyes meeting numb blue ones.

The commander reaches down and angles the mangled boot to where it can slip off without causing any pain. It goes willingly. So does the other one, and the buttons on his shirt, too. He lets Erwin take care of him, surprisingly enough, and not a single word is spoken. It doesn’t have to be, and that’s the thing. The company is enough. Erwin is enough, but no one seems to think it.

His mind flashes to a minor interaction they had before.

“Levi, replenish you blades and your gas.”

“Why? It won’t be long before we get back.”

“That’s a direct order.”

Levi glances back up at him, only slightly irked that he pulled rank. “I’ll trust your judgement, Erwin.”

A small part of him wishes Erwin wouldn’t pull rank like that anymore. He should know by now, that he’d follow him to the ends of the earth, whether or not he was Commander. To most people, Levi’s attitude towards Erwin would be questionable. Never calling him “Commander Erwin” and just “Erwin”, dropping curse words in his presence, sometimes talking back and making crude jokes, Levi could see how that would come off to other people. To him, however, it was rather transparent where his loyalties lied. He placed all his eggs in one basket, yet never once regretted it. Hell, Erwin could be a beet farmer, and he’d participate in a stupid beet cleanse if he said it’d be good for them.

Before he knows it, Levi is clad in a loose white v-neck and loose gym shorts. The captain glances at the taller man, who is now seen following the same routine. So, Levi pays him back the best way he knows how. He pops open the first button. Then the next, and the next, until a familiar white tank is revealed underneath. The fabric hugs Erwin’s frame; every inch is roped with muscle but soaked with stress. Levi thinks for a moment that Erwin would be much softer if stress hadn’t tensed his entire body up. He’s heard from Hanji before of the adorable fat in Erwin’s cheek that once took residence there long before the weight of Commander was slammed onto his shoulders. Looking at him now, his face was sunken in. Tired eyes accompanied the wrinkles between his eyebrows that Levi somehow had grown fond of.

He finds himself reaching out to poke there with two fingers, barely smiling to himself when Erwin catches himself frowning.  

His bolo tie is hastily removed and placed on the dresser next to Levi’s bed, next to the empty teacup that was disappointingly cold that morning. Had he known about how the day was about to go, he might have appreciated it a little more.

“It’s my fault.”

Erwin finally speaks when they get to a particularly infuriating buckle on his thigh. Levi glances up, and says nothing; nimble, calloused fingers just go back to work until he’s folding both of their clothes as Erwin just helps himself to Levi’s bed. He leans back on the pillows, a knee coming up to act as an armrest. His head knocks back on the wall behind him. Levi is still silent as he places the clothes in a drawer.

He moves around the room and organizes his things where he didn’t notice were out of place before. Levi pushes in his chair, straightens the paper on his desk, even adjusts the tea cup to where the handle was exactly parallel to the table’s edge and the circumference of the porcelain plate beneath it fits perfectly into the corner. Levi pushes the books on the shelf back until their pages are pressed against the wood, finding some kind of odd satisfaction as his room starts looking like that of a dollhouse.

Cleaning is his way of coping, he knows. It’s a futile attempt to clean the blood off his hands. The evening begins to settle through the window, pulling the sun and it’s warmth with it down into the horizon where it's sure to come back in the morning, should they be alive to see it. The room’s getting cold, and Erwin’s getting restless.

“Levi,” he croaks when he still hasn’t settled in next to him. “I’m sorry.”

The said man freezes.

“Your squad, they all… I’m sorry, Levi. It’s my fault.”

Levi feels an entire monologue coming up his throat. He shifts quietly on his feet and glances at the sad commander. And it’s easy, it’s so easy, to turn around and start yelling, “Of course it’s your fault, you fucking numbskull. You led us too far into this battle. The only reason you want to reclaim Maria is for your own sick satisfaction, so stop saying it’s about humanity,” he could simply-- so easily-- bite out, “you are the reason Petra died. You are the reason I’m left with barely anything again--”

But it’s not right. Of course it isn’t, and Levi’s stronger than that, anyway. The thought barely crosses his mind before it’s dismissed and gone forever. So instead, he climbs over to him. They sit so that Levi is next to Erwin’s monstrous legs, left hand placed underneath the blond’s raised knee. The raven-haired man reaches his other hand out to grip Erwin’s. Significantly smaller, but perfect for the latter’s. He rubs his thumb across calloused knuckles to urge him to go on.

“It feels… empty.” Erwin points to his chest, and Levi’s never related to anything else more. “We need- we need to take back what’s ours but I just- I just can’t seem to fucking figure it out without sending thousands off to a pointless death and I’m. Delusional. I’m delusional.”

It’s the most he’s said in the last couple of hours, but Levi knows it’s been there since he was announced commander. It’s hard to dance with a devil on your back, he thinks. Levi looks at him with pity in his eyes; this is the man he’s supposed to lay his life down for. This massive, probably insane, borderline suicidal bastard who wants nothing more than to be free. Fuck it, he’ll do it.

“Hey.” He finally responds, “None of that, Erwin. Not now.” It’s so easy to hate yourself; to point the blame to everyone and everything instead of accepting the truth. It’s easy, but it’s not right. The right choice is never an easy choice. But you, you were the one who told me, to make the choice I’ll regret the least.

The words don’t leave his mouth.

“My squad died because they chose to. In the moment where their lives were on a thread, they made the decision to fight and die for the greater good. It wasn’t my choice to make, and neither was it yours.” It sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself than anything, “Everyone that died today died bravely. I’ll make sure it doesn’t go in vain.”

Erwin gives him a look. “You can’t possibly put that much on your shoulders.”

“Then why do you put so much on yours?” Levi is quick to call out his hypocrisy.

He scoots closer regardless. Levi takes the hand he’s holding and wraps it around his waist, reaching forward until his left arm is wrapped around the other man’s neck while his other hugs Erwin’s arm, and the commander just melts. If the circumstances were different, maybe he’d make a comment about how a guy as large as Erwin can turn into putty at such a simple gesture, but it was hardly the time. If that doesn’t scream touch starvation, Levi doesn’t know what will.

Erwin drops his head into Levi’s neck. His arm comes around to enclose his petite frame completely and pull him snug against him. He’s mindful of his injury, however, and makes sure not to jostle the ankle too much. Levi’s sitting sideways  in his lap now, not that he’s complaining. He cards his finger underneath the blond’s undercut, gently tugging as he coaxes the man down from a breakdown. Levi gently rocks them back and forth. He turns his head and presses his lips to Erwin’s temple. A simple gesture of comfort, but seemingly all they need. His hand trails up and down the latter’s muscular back, fingertips drawing lazy circles into his shoulder blades.

Nothing could be done about the situation. Death is something that is tragically inevitable, but that doesn’t make it any easier to cope with. Levi feels his eyes sting as a pain finally weighs in on his chest. Being with his commander seems to lift the numbness from off his breastbone, the absence of its weight allowing the pain and regret to rapidly seep into his very being. And suddenly, tears are falling into Erwin’s hair. He refuses to entertain this feeling, though. So he drops his head to nuzzle his jaw before pressing a kiss there, and finally resting his cheek against his shoulder. They could fall asleep like that.

It would be easy to nod off and forget about the world around them, to stay wrapped around each other as the fire burns around their bodies. It would be effortless to turn their backs on their duties, turn a blind eye to the death and tragedy that has become their lives.

But alas, the day’s not over yet.

[firegrilled]

Momma’s Boys - Part 1

@erejeanweek2k19​ Prompt: Single Parents

Summary: Carla Jaeger and Celine Kirschtein are two very different moms who have one thing in common: unconditional love for their sons. This is a story told from their perspectives as their boys grow up and grow much closer than they ever thought possible.

Lots of inspiration from @aymmichurros​‘s momma comic :D

Stay tuned for more parts during erejean week

Part 2

Sunlight glinted off the rearview before a slender hand readjusted the angle. A pair of sharp eyes stared into the mirror at a brown haired toddler snoozing in his car seat in the back. She smiled at her son as she flicked the turn signal, gently pulling into her destination. A few moments later the Honda Civic was parked and she was carrying her dozing son over to the quaint, off-colored building.

“Hello, welcome to Shinganshina Daycare where we nurture, teach, and herd the next generation,” a bubbly woman greeted the mother. “You must be Mrs. Kirschtein, yes?”

“Its Ms. But please call me Celine,” Ms. Kirschtein returned the friendly greeting.

“Alright Celine, I’m guessing this is lil’ Jean?”

“Yes, my cute little Jeanbo,” Celine confirmed, her smile widening when her son yawned.

Jean rubbed the sleep away from his eyes.

“According to my papers he’s to be here until the afternoon, yes?”

Celine nodded, setting her son down. “Yes, today I’m starting a new job and I hope it’ll end early but you never know.”

“Of course, I wish you the best.”

The bubbly receptionist squatted down so she was at Jean’s level. Giving a wide smile she held out her hand.

“Momma?” Jean questioned, scampering behind his mother’s leg. He peeked around to stare at the stranger.

“It’s okay Jeanbo, she’s going to watch you for mommy while I’m at work. Will you be a good boy for… I don’t believe I got your name?” Celine realized, a pink blush rising to her cheek. She softly nudged her son forward.

“Mrs. Bodt,” the woman smiled. “Come Jean, I’ll introduce you to the others. I even have a son your age.”

Placing a thumb in his mouth, Jean took the woman’s hand with his free hand and walked with her inside.

“Mommy will be back later. Be a good boy!” Celine waved to her son, keeping a smile on her face despite the guilt creeping up her neck. As much as she wanted to be there for her baby boy she also needed to provide for him.

Shoving her guilt down, Ms. Kirschtein spun on her heels to leave. Before she could exit, she noticed another woman leading two other toddlers to the entrance. Celine opened the door for her.

“Ah thank you,” the woman muttered as the two tiny kids practically lead her inside.

“Mommy, mommy!” The boy with wide green eyes called out, brimming with energy. “Is ‘Min here?”

“No problem, miss,” Celine chuckled at the cute display. The tiny boy still couldn’t pronounce his r’s.

The other child, a girl in a red scarf, remained silent.

“We’ll just have to wait and see, let’s go,” the mother replied.

Celine glanced back at the woman dressed in blue jeans and a loose fitting white shirt as she left for her car. The unkempt brown hair and disheveled clothes were the opposite of Ms. Kirschtein’s business attire and straightened hair. Not everyone needed to make a striking first impression at the city’s biggest bank.

---

“Hello? Jaeger residence?”

“Is this Carla Jaeger?”

“Speaking,” Carla confirmed, nestling the phone between her ear and shoulder. She waddled over to the sink as the phone cable pulled back. Three steps and she already maximized the full distance of the cord.

“This is Trost Prep’s office. Your son Eren is currently sitting with the vice principal,” the matter-of-fact voice explained. “We’re going to need you to come down and pick your son up as he’s suspended for the rest of the day.”

A bubbly dish slipped between Carla’s fingers and landed with a mighty splash in the sink.

“Suspension? For a first grader? What happened?”

Carla reached into the sink and pulled the plug, allowing the water to swirl down the drain.

“We can explain when you get here but he got in a fight with another boy. Please come as soon as possible.”

With a heavy sigh she hung up the phone. What did her son do to get suspended in his first week of school?

“Don’t worry Mrs. Jaeger, we’ll take care of the dishes,” a cool voice reassured her.

Carla turned to face a small contingent of maids.

“Thanks Levi, I’ll entrust the rest of the house to your care. At least Eren picked cleaning day,” she laughed. “I can’t wait to tell his father about this later.”

Levi and his companions nodded, returning to their duties.

A few missed turns and one angry car horn later Carla pulled into the prep school her husband insisted their children enroll in. She was already a ball of nerves as she tried to navigate the hallways, embarrassed to have to ask for directions multiple times from staff until she arrived at the office. Inside she found a receptionist with tortoiseshell glasses clacking away at an absurdly large computer.

Clearing her throat, Carla made her presence known. “H-Hello? I’m here for Eren.”

Without making eye contact, the receptionist pointed with her thumb over her shoulder towards an office.

“Please go right in.”

Mrs. Jaeger walked around the desk towards the office, noticing another boy sitting in a blue hard plastic chair just outside the office.

The boy had light brown hair at his tips but it grew dark the closer it got to his head. He kicked his feet back and forth in the hair, squeezing his hands into fists on his knees. He had a few scratches and bruises on his arms. Dirt covered most of what should’ve been his pristine white uniform.

Wordlessly Carla entered and clicked the door shut behind her. In another blue plastic chair in front of the desk with his back to her sat the familiar silhouette of her son. At the desk stood a tall and blond man with well-kept hair and a stern face. The wooden nameplate on his desk had Erwin Smith etched into it.

“Mr. Smith I presume?” Carla greeted, earning a glance from the man. She didn’t miss her son suddenly straighten up.

He turned and offered a tiny smile. “Mrs. Jaeger, please sit down.”

Erwin gesture to a larger more plush chair next to her son.

“Thank you,” Carla replied, taking the seat. She wore a frown as she scanned her son. Like the boy outside dirt and grime covered his uniform, while a bruise colored his cheek with a fresh Band-Aid just below an eye. “Can you please tell me what happened?”

“Your son got in a fight with another student though we don’t know who started it-”

“It was horseface!” Eren interrupted, huffing and crossing his arms.

“Eren, don’t interrupt others when they’re talking! Especially Mr. Smith,” Carla narrowed her eyes, instantly silencing her son.

Eren’s face paled and his gaze fell to the crème colored carpet.

“Eren and Jean got into an altercation over this new phenomena called pocket monsters. As a result of the fight we’re suspending both students until the end of the day to set an example for others as well as themselves,” Mr. Smith explained. “Since they’re so young nothing will go on their permanent records of course, but we have a strict policy here at Trost Prep that we must maintain as we raise the next generation of leaders.”

“Of course. I’ll see to it that Eren learns his lesson and this won’t happen again.” Standing up, Carla glared at her son. “For starters, no more Pokemon until he learns to behave himself.”

“But mom! He tried to be Charmander when I called him!” Eren pouted, his shoulders falling.

“I don’t know what this Charred salamander is but I don’t think it’d want you fighting others, Eren.”

As Mrs. Jaeger chided her son, a knock at the door drew the attention of those in the room. The receptionist popped her head in and looked straight at the vice principal.

“Mr. Smith, I was able to get ahold of Mrs. Kirschtein but she’ll be unable to get her son before the end of the day. What would you like me to do?” She asked.

“Take him to the empty gymnasium so he can think about the mistake he made. I’ll speak with his mother when she gets in.”

Mrs. Jaeger frowned at the thought of leaving a child so young alone but punishment is punishment.

“Come, Eren. Your dad returns from his conference today so you can explain why you’re suspended and your uniform is a mess.

---

“Yes, sure. I’ll have to call you later, Shannon, I have another meeting right now,” Celine spoke as she navigated the hallways of Trost Prep with ease. How many times had she followed this same path over the years? She turned the corner as she clamped her cellphone shut, almost jumping from surprise when a familiar shocked face appeared.

“Ms. Kirschtein!” Carla Jaeger greeted, dressed in a relaxed crème colored sweater and blue jeans.

“Mrs. Jaeger!” Celine replied. 

Carla smiled nervously, ��Oh I really hope this doesn’t become a habit of theirs…”

“Ugh yes, I hope so to… I mean-” Celine instantly agreed, adjusting her suit jacket. How many lunches had she sacrificed to her son’s shenanigans at this point? “I’m tired of grounding Jean for the same reason over and over again. It’s really stressful!”

Celine pressed her fingers to her temple before continuing.

“’Why can’t you just get along with this kid? Why?’ ‘Cause he’s the DEVIL ITSELF’- And I’m like Jeanbo that’s not possible!”

Celine waved her arms around as she recounted her son’s ridiculous claim. Much to her relief, Carla laughed her mockery of Jean. The two walked to the office together as they continued their discussion.

“It’s the same for my Eren. No matter how many times I punish him he continues to come up with lame excuses. ‘He’s mean to Armin, he always starts it, he likes broccoli!’ and I’m like ‘Honey, no. You’re not even trying.’” Carla recounted, earning a chuckle from Celine. “And of course he now does this right before his birthday. I might just have to take away the party we promised him.”

Ms. Kirschtein paused right as they reached the door to the office. “Eren’s birthday is coming up? Jean’s is next week.”

“Yes, Eren’s is in two days. He only had to be good for two more days but boys will be boys,” Carla sighed as she rolled her eyes.

Celine rubbed her chin as a new idea formed in her mind. The more she thought of it the wider the smile on her face got.

“I might have a solution,” Celine stated.

Carla cocked her head, gesturing for her to continue.

“Well if grounding them isn’t going anywhere they clearly need to learn to cooperate with each other. They can have their birthdays still, but celebrate with each other,” Celine elaborated.

Furrowing her brow, Carla thought about the proposal. “Well it would be a punishment and we’d be there to monitor them… let’s do it! And we can do it at our house, we have more than enough space. Do you know where the Mithras district is?

”Mithras?! O-of course. You live there?” Celine barely caught her jaw from dropping.

“Perks of a famous researcher who moonlights as a physician,” Carla shrugged as she opened the door to the office.

The receptionist barely glanced up as the two women entered.

“Hey Carla and Celina. You know the drill,” the skinny woman waved them over to the principal’s office.

“Happy to see you too, Hanji.”

The cheery appearance faded as the two put on their best angry mom expressions. Carla turned the knob and let the door creak open, opting to place her hands on her hips and glower. Celine crossed her arms and mimicked her expression.

The door opened to reveal the two boys sitting next to each other with their backs to the entrance, talking to the principal. Their sons slowly turned their heads, already wide-eyed and sweating. Unlike most office visits, both boys were relatively unharmed and their uniforms were thankfully clean.

“Celine, Carla, please have a seat,” Erwin greeted the pair of mothers with a tiny smile. “How familiar are you two with the concept of Yu-gi-oh?”

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 18 - update

Needing a shirt for court, and finding none of Levi's fitted over the swell of his stomach, Eren had been quite the schemer. Levi hadn't taken the first step to reconcile things with Erwin, and their unrepayable debt to Mike weighed heavily on his mind. Mike deserved to be happy, and surely this thing between Levi and Erwin had to be weighing heavily on him. So. He'd messaged Mike and explained he needed a shirt, then asked for Erwin to drop it off so Levi would have to talk to him, and to bring a few drinks to make the conversation easier. Mike seemed to be on the same wavelength as him, as the man messaged back with a thumbs up emoji. It wasn't like Eren liked Erwin... he couldn't forgive him for keeping secrets like this, but Levi needed a friend and Erwin cared deeply for Levi, despite the current situation. He'd been by Levi's side for over two decades, he'd guided Levi through the dark times and he'd kept him on his. Erwin had probably believed that would always be the case, until he'd shown up with his baggage and stolen Levi away from him. With his good deed done, Eren flopped back into bed. His stomach was rapidly bruising from where Nick had hit him, while the pups were still moving up a storm inside. He'd already had to pee twice since they'd arrived home, and Viren had been too active for cuddles. Now the pup was sleeping in their bed, he could resume cuddling their son while Levi got some house work done... totally unaware that Erwin would arrive and he'd be forced to work things out with him. They were alphas with pride to spare. Surely they could find a way to fix things before he had to slap both of them for being idiots. Eren was still awake when Erwin arrived. He could hear the man stuttering in the doorway, while Levi demanded to know what was going on. Climbing out of bed, he walked to the doorway, tapping on the open door to get Levi's attention. Looking back at him, Levi didn't look happy "Do you know what's going on here?" Nodding he waved for Erwin to come in "Eren..." Slipping past Levi, Erwin was armed with a black business shirt and a carton of beer. He probably would have chosen something other than beer, as it tended to make Levi horny, but this conversation wouldn't be happening without alcohol. Starting to sign, he kept his movements slow so that even Erwin could follow "I asked Mike if I could borrow a better shirt for court" Levi's lips twitched "I asked him if Erwin could deliver it, because I'm sick of all this fighting. Erwin. I am so beyond angry with you, and I really want to slap you. But you were Levi's best friend and right now, he needs all the friends he can get. I don't want to hear any talk about the trial, but I do want you two to talk this out. Now. I'm going to make us dinner and we are going to all sit down and eat. After that, I'll put Viren down for the night, and you two will get your fucking acts together. Even if you have to hit each other in the process. I am sick of losing people, and I will not have my alpha and his best friend fighting and dragging everyone else into this. It's exhausting. Do I make my self clear?" "Eren..." Glaring at Levi, his alpha nodded. Looking to Erwin, he nodded too "Good" Darting back into the bedroom, Eren lifted Viren. The boy was waking as it was. Carrying him out to the living room, he sat him down on the recliner "Your job is to watch him while I make dinner" Levi mumbled something under his breath, earning himself another glare. Alphas were worse than omegas with their pettiness. Sorting things out between the pair was hardly how he thought tonight would go, but it did take his mind off the trial and he was grateful for that. After dinner, Eren retired to bed in an attempt to give the pair as much space as possible. Viren had still been pretty sleepy, so Levi had taken over getting him ready to go. Falling asleep was easy, his belly filled with dinner and his mate was sorting shit out. It was middle of the night when Levi woke him up, his alpha's hands all over his body as mouthed at their bonding mark. Rolling his hips, Levi was basically dry humping him. Whining softly at his alpha, he found himself rolled onto his back, so Levi could claim his mouth, one hand plunging down his pyjama bottoms to see out his opening. Nipping at Levi's lip, his mate pulled back "You're so fucking perfect. God. I can't believe I have someone like you, Eren" Yep. Levi was drunk. His mate's fingertips brushing against his slicking hole as Levi pushed his lips back to his. This wasn't bad. Just unexpected... he liked when Levi was drunk, he never knew what was going to come out the man's mouth. Letting out a growl, Levi moved, pushing two fingers in without warning "Fuck... this pretty pink pussy of yours is so fucking wet for me" If Eren could have laughed, he would have howled with laughter at Levi's description of his arse "How do you get so wet for me? How are you so perfect? You're everything to me. Did you know that? You're my everything. I need to taste you. But I want to be in you... and I want to ride you. You have no idea how you mess me up inside. I want to fuck you, but I want to hold you" Reaching up, Eren snaked an arm around Levi, wriggling against his fingers "You want me? I'm going to make you so full, you're getting pregnant all over again" English really wasn't Levi's strongest forte after drinking. Nor was taking it slow. Despite the odd angle, his mate was already fucking him as hard as he could with his fingers "I'm going to feed from those breasts of yours while I knot you... fuck. Eren... I need you. I need to be in you. I love you. I love you so much. Did you know that? Do you know I brought a wedding ring? I want to marry you, but you won't say yes anymore. I want you to be mine. I need it. I need you to be mine... I want to bend you over in that courtroom. I want them all to know you're mine. That you're carrying my pups. Fuck... you're mine... thank you... thank you baby..." * Levi was an alpha in a world of regrets. Nursing his head, his hangover was only very mild, but Eren wasn't impressed with him which made it was worse than it was. Consumed with lust for his mate, he'd suckled from Eren's breast, Eren moaning and riding him as he did. Slowing down, Levi had thought his mate was close to coming. Holding Eren down in his lap, his mate started pushing away. Without the use of his voice, his omega couldn't couldn't communicate his need to pee, Eren wetting himself in Levi's lap as soon as he'd come. Instead of finding it revolting, he pushed his mate down, riding him harder than before. Crying and clinging to him, such a vulnerable Eren was like catnip for his alpha, acting before he'd realised he'd gone too far... Overly stimulated and overly sensitive without being able to communicate it, Eren clenched around him as he covered his face. Drunk and released of his inhibitions, he wanted to make Eren feel better over wetting himself, he'd pulled out and come across Eren's wet stomach... he'd intended to wet himself, yet instead pushed back into his mate and... peed. The sensation of coming and peeing lead to one of the most intense orgasms he'd ever had. Eren so wet and full, as he grasped his stomach and whined, while Levi continued to thrust. He had his alpha to thank for that, able to come without going soft in order to breed his mate. Riding Eren fast, each time his hips slapped against Eren's arse, Eren peed a little more... shamefully, he knotted his mate... then passed out top of him. Even more shamefully, he'd been drunk, Eren had not. Eren remembered everything. Waking up to find himself in the bathtub, he had no memory of getting there. Soaking in warm water, he didn't remember what happened the previous night until walked into the living room to find Eren in the kitchen, while Erwin was playing Viren. Obliviously, he moved to his mate's side "Hey, beautiful" Going to kiss Eren, he was pushed away with a glare "Eren?" Opening his mouth, Eren huffed with nothing came out. Standing there, his omega didn't look happy at all "You are an arsehole. You peed in me and fell asleep between my legs" "I..." "I was going to leave your arse in our bed, because I fell asleep with you still inside of me. But you're lucky you said some nice things last night... but no more peeing in me! Never again! I seriously felt so full I thought I was going to burst" That was when it all came back to him... he could feel his face reddening "I am so sorry. I was really..." "Horny. Really horny. My arse was destroyed with your dick then you pissed in me" He couldn't tell if Eren was starting to find the humour in the situation or not... probably not. Not when he had to testify. He was lucky to be being talked to, and if the bath was warm, he couldn't have been in there that long "You are... right. Fuck... Did I hurt you? Did I hurt them?" "My legs are sore, but because I'm nice, I dumped you in the bath when I went for a shower" "I am so sorry. I love you... how long do we have before we need to go?" They had to be there at 8am... and he had absolutely no idea what the time was... "If you two are talking about last night, I closed your bedroom door for you. You're welcome" Eren rolled his eyes, so maybe he was forgiven? He'd made sure Eren was feeling into it, his love needed to get out of his own brain for a while "Erwin took care of Viren this morning so I could clean up. We have about an hour" "Is there anything I can do to help?" "Move the washing into the dryer when it's done" "Alright. You should be resting" "I need to keep busy. If I stop to think, I just feel overwhelmed. Go play with the children" "Have you two talked?" "I slapped him. I feel ok now" Reaching out, Eren let him cup his face. Rubbing his mate's soft skin, he hadn't noticed his omega was wearing make up. Careful not to destroy Eren's hard work, he kissed his lips rather than his cheek "That's my omega. And... I really am sorry I lost my head last night. I'm going to check that washing, then I'll get ready. I meant what I said last night. You're my omega and I love you" He couldn't quite remember all his drunken ramblings, but he knew he would have told Eren how perfect and precious he was... because he was... is. * Separated from Levi again, Eren wished he could wait to be called with his mate with him. Levi might have been a drunken fool the previous night, but he was an affectionate drunken fool who didn't stop kissing him or praising his body as he touched him. He'd needed the comfort, and Levi had provided it... before passing out on his stomach and letting out a huge snore. Clutching his necklace, he jumped when the waiting room door was knocked on. Watching the door open, the man there looked him up and down "Eren Yeager?" Nodding his confirmation, the man moved from the doorway "Come with me" Led through a small hall, he was ushered through two plain doors, then he was there in the court room. His heart was racing as tried to remember what he'd been told by Floch. He had to wait before he could sit. He had to swear on an oath, though he didn't know how that would work. And... and he had to answer their questions. Despite the size of the courtroom, the walls seemed to closing in on him. Rows of eyes were all fixed on him, yet he couldn't find Levi in the crowd... Levi was supposed to be there. He said he'd be there... Oh fuck. This was it. He was being talked to... no about. They were talking about him, and the translator who was standing near the jury... They were recording everything to... He wanted to throw up on his shoes. His pups were going crazy and his stomach ached like fuck... "Due to the omega's fragile mental and physical state, the court has deemed it necessary that he will be giving evidence in a series of appearances, rather than forcing him to recount the details all at once..." Hang on... What?! Since when... what? Floch hadn't said that. He'd said once he'd taken the stand, he'd be done unless he was called on again at later date. His statement was supposed to have been read already... No... Looking to Floch, the man didn't seem surprised, in fact he was smiling as if this worked in their favour. Casting his glance to Nick, the man looked just as gleeful... Could they do this? Were they allowed to do this? This didn't happen in the TV shows he'd watched... "Eren Yeager, can you please state your full name for the court. On your right, you will find a bible, you may take your oath on the bible, or you may read the oath attached to the reverse side..." Shit... shit... shit... What was he supposed to do? Seeking his translator, she signed to him. Thank fuck. He could sign "Eren, do you understand?" Flinching as the judge turned his attention to him, he probably looked like a fucking moron. A useless omega that knew nothing... He nodded slowly, before the judge cleared his throat. Fuck. So nodding wasn't going to cut it... This was an awful idea... that could only end badly. Slowly he signed his name, the interpreter voicing his letters. He would have liked to tack "Ackerman" on the end, but it wasn't legal. How anyone sat here and kept their mind, he didn't know. Taking the bible in his hands, he figured he may as well put his faith in god. He was going to need some kind of divine intervention for things to go his way. Open his mouth, he sucked down a breath. Not completely sure what he was going to do... He really should have listened closer... instead, he was again saved as his interpreter asked which oath he chose to used. Signing back "bible" he was then read the oath, then agreed. It was probably a good thing he was wearing a pad, he was sure he was going to wet to piss himself with fear... if he didn't go into labour first. Fuck. He shouldn't even joke about it, even if it was mentally... * Levi was furious. Grabbing Floch's shoulder, he barely kept himself from growling. How could this possibly be for the best? Or in Eren's best interests. His mate was fucking terrified. Everyone had felt it when Eren was led in. The courtroom used scent cancellers, but with such a nervous and upset omega, you didn't need smell Eren to know he was scared. Nick was whispering back and forth furiously with his lawyers. Levi had been in the witness stand before, even he'd felt off kilter by it all. His omega hadn't even opened his mouth and he was being describe as weak and fragile. The jury was being swayed before Eren could say a thing... No wonder Nick looked so fucking happy. From his angle, he couldn't watch Eren sign. With his shorter stature, he didn't even know if Eren knew he was there to support him. He couldn't feel anything from their bond, leaving him sitting there with his hand on his necklace as he held his tongue. They'd established that the line of questioning would show Eren's father's connections to the organisation, but it seemed like it had gone one step further. As Nick's lawyer took the floor, the man's argument that Grisha had the most to gain from the arrangement, and that Nick had only had the best interests of omegas in mind when he'd started his organisation. It was Grisha Yeager who'd grown greedy, the man clearly deranged as he killed Eren's mother in front of him. Hounding Eren, each question was a double edge sword, designed to slice his lover to pieces, yet designed so anyone else may interpret it as an almost innocent line of questioning. With all the talk of Eren's father, Levi sat straighter in his chair as the man started a new line of questioning. Eren's current lifestyle. If he'd been through so much trauma, how was he sitting there, pregnant, bonded, yet unmarried. He didn't know how the fuck any of it related to anything. What happened between him and Eren was their personal business "Floch. What the fuck is this?" Leaning back to answer his whisper, the blond didn't had no idea how close he was to having his head slammed against the dividing barrier bar for allowing this "They're attempting to discredit Eren by his lifestyle choices before we question him" "So what? They can practically call him a slut and you let them?" "They can call him that, but it doesn't change the fact you've been bonded and in a long term relationship with him" "We both know that means nothing. Alpha's take more than one omega all the time" "But you haven't..." "No, but we aren't married. Just engaged" "Wait and see, Levi. We anticipated all of this. You'll understand when Eren takes the stand for us" "He's not going to be able to take the stand if he's destroyed by Nick's legal team" "You may be his alpha, but this is my call. He will be staying up there. And he will be answering this line of questioning" "If something happens to him..." The lawyer closest to Floch, hushed them both. Floch was an idiot if he thought Eren wasn't going to break under all of this. Waiting lead to Eren's interpreter bringing the line of questioning to an end. The court medic moved from being on standby, guiding Eren away from the stand. Bolting from his seat and out to the hall, Levi slowed in the public hallway as he jogged towards where Eren should be. They should have found another way for Eren to testify. Even if it'd been through a live video feed instead... anything had to be better than this. Eren wasn't a slut. He wasn't weak. He wasn't responsible for Grisha's involvements. He wasn't just an omega to be harassed by lawyers who stank of too much cologne. * Eren couldn't calm himself down. The more they questioned him, the faster the next question seemed to come "How old were you when you presented as an omega?" "How old were you when your father found out?" "Did your father often get angry at you as a child?" "Did he display any signs of mental instability?" "Did you mother have any kind of affairs?" "Did she know about Grisha's former marriage?" "Would you describe the relationship between her and your father as healthy?" "How old were you when your father shot your mother in front of you?" "What happened to you after that?" "Did you know you had an older brother?" "And it was your brother's idea for you to dance as a stripper? Sorry, an exotic dancer" "You met your current partner there?" "And you two bonded? Or perhaps married? "It's fair to say that Grisha Yeager basically ruined your life. So why would he sacrifice himself for you? After a decade of neglect" He couldn't stop thinking. It was all so overwhelming. They weren't giving him enough time to answer properly or clearly. Shitty tears filled his eyes as his breathing grew ragged, the lawyer still pressing on. He didn't know why he needed to explain all this. Nick had been running an organ farm, and while his father was involved, he wasn't... not like they were trying to make it sound like... He didn't want to hurt omegas. He... wasn't like that... Pleading with his eyes, his interpreter asked if he could continue. He couldn't even sign back. He couldn't remember how to sign. Gripped by fear, he nearly hit the medic as he was led from the courtroom. He didn't want to be touched. A sickening feeling running through his skin from the hands trying to help him. He didn't know this person. They had no right to touch him, even to help him. Only Levi was allowed to touch him. No. He didn't want his mate to touch him. He was stupid. He hadn't been good. He hadn't answered all their questions properly. He hadn't even looked the man talking at him in the eyes. Not realising it his finger nails dug into his left wrist, the small about of pain felt good. Like something real and that he could focus on. Forced into a room that looked the same as the one he'd been wait in, he fought against the oxygen mask being forced on him. He knew the medic was talking to him, but all he could hear was the ringing in his ears from fear. He hated this. He hated his words not working and he hated his tears. He hated being made to feel weak and scared, but above all, he hated how he'd let the omega dynamic down. How was supposed to protect anyone if he couldn't handle a few tough questions!? Presumably because of how long had passed since he was led from the courtroom, court security entered the room. Eren now appreciating the claustrophobic mask covering most of his face. His fear had slowly ebbed away as oxygen was forced into his lungs. All he really felt now was the need to make a beeline for the exit... an escape plan that had no need for an ambulance or a trip to hospital. It meant they didn't try to talk to him, instead, asking why this was taking so long, and how much longer it would take. They both seemed to think this wasn't necessary at all. He was wasting their time. Pulling the mask off his face, he placed it down, pushing himself to his feet as he did "Excuse me, sir. You're going to need to stay seated" Shaking his head, he didn't know if any of them could sign. Giving them the "ok" symbol, the closer of the two guards drew his brow "You're ok?" Nodding, he hoped that meant he was about to be freed "I'm afraid I must insist he isn't" "If he says he's ok, then he's fine to get out of here. There's no point wasting your time like this" Eren nodded again. Levi was outside the door somewhere... Levi meant he could go home and be safe... Marched down the hallway, the guards didn't care he was pregnant. With one alpha in front of him, and one behind, he felt walled in. Both men were huge, and no doubt could snap him in half with ease. They were nearly at the doorway that opened to the main hall of the courthouse, when he was "shoved" forwards for pausing to catch his breath. Smacking into the wall, he barely kept his balance "Sorry about that. Wasn't expecting you to stop" "This is why they should keep omegas on leads. They're too stupid to learn how to be anything other than whores. And that's only good once a week, every three months" "Yeah. But they're supposed to get soaking wet down there" "Nah. They get all loose. You want them to be nice and tight" "Why would they even stick him up there? He can't even talk" "Apparently he's the son of a killer. Wouldn't know it to look at him" The first man didn't sound very sorry, for what was clearly not an accident. Not replying to their disgusting words or continued conversation, he was "bumped" again when they reached the doorway, half falling through the door and into Levi's arms, his stomach catching taking a solid blow from Levi's hand. Or rather, he tripped with enough force that when Levi caught him, it felt like a slap to his stomach. Whimpering, his hands flew to his stomach "Shit, brat. Come here. I've got you" "Is he with you?" "Yes. Thank you" Levi was thanking them? His alpha was thanking the two men who'd hurt him and insulted him. He was too upset to be rational. First Levi hadn't been there, and now he was taking their side... He had no one... No one was on his side now that Levi wasn't.

[the-memoirs-of-a]

reminisce

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with this piece for the past month. I was inspired by Lost’s (please forgive me) Music and Silence where it seemed we had similar HCs. I drafted it with hopes of also sharing it for eruri of the month even if it was a stretch for June’s topic. But then I became my own worst critic and only saw the flaws of my literary skills and weak vocabulary. I still don’t believe I did the scene justice. Well here’s a piece of my soul anyways.

The door opens before Levi can grab the handle. He glares at the figure before him and swallows hard not to let his anger get the best of him. Erwin said he’s wasn’t directly involved in the beatings……. torture and it probably would have been worse if someone else was commander of the military police. Levi thinks it’s all bullshit but there’s a history between those two he can’t seem to make sense of. He asked Mike once if it was the type of history that involved a dick up someone’s ass with a smirk. Mike snorted and replied “Do you really want me to answer that truthfully?” Levi never brought up the topic again. So, for Erwin’s sake Levi manages to spit out a greeting of “Commander” despite the urge to see that shitty thing he calls a goatee stained red with a punch to the nose......or worse. 

 A short “Captain” Nile responds as he finds himself in a staring contest with humanity’s strongest. Erwin breaks the silence and the tension. “Nile, thank you again and please give my regards to Marie and the little ones.” Nile’s eyes dart from Erwin to Levi then back to Erwin. He shakes his head, turns, and exits waving off the good bye. “Yeah, yeah.“ 

Levi closes the office door and walks up to the desk. Bruises are taking on a yellow hue, cuts fading Levi notices as Erwin lowers his head to continue working. Sina, he wants to slit the throat of every guard/solider that touched him. He briefly scans the document Erwin is composing from his angle but can only make out a few words and Zackery’s name. He scowls and crosses his arm. "So, what did the unicorn fucker want?” doing little to hide the annoyance in his tone.

Erwin stops his pen. “He’s looking into a personal matter for me." 

Levi arches an eyebrow. Personal matter? "Anything I should know about” he commands more than asks. 

But Erwin doesn’t raise his head to look Levi in the face. “No, not at this time.”

 Levi knows he’s hiding something but he doesn’t press. Fine. Let him have his shitty secrets. Probably another gamble. Idiot. He sighs. “Give me that” as he grabs the sheet. “Your handwriting still looks like shit”. He pulls up a chair next to Erwin and starts to rewrite the document. 

“Thank you, Levi.” There’s a smile in Erwin’s reply but Levi chooses to not look up and concentrates on deciphering the letter. 

“Yeah well, don’t get use to this. I’m not going to be doing this for you the rest of our lives." 

"I wouldn’t dare” Erwin whispers. 

Weeks later, Levi finds himself late one night sitting across from Erwin sipping tea. Erwin’s penmanship has slowly progressed but as for the other matter, not a word. Levi’s patience is wearing thin so he initiates, a rarity. “Those brats are going to run me ragged." 

Erwin looks up and chuckles much to Levi’s surprise. "I honestly don’t know if you are referring to the orphans or your own squad Levi." 

He rolls his eyes. "Tch.” Silence falls upon them except for the sounds of harsh strokes on parchment. Erwin didn’t take the bait. Levi wants to break the pen in half, demand Erwin’s attention. “Oi, spit it out before you shit yourself!”

The outburst catches Erwin off guard. He almost jumps in his seat smearing ink in the process. “Levi, I…….. what is the meaning?” but he’s cut off. 

“You’ve looked constipated since Nile came by this week. Care to share?" he drawls out. 

Erwin cruses mentally to himself. There’s just no fooling this man. He sets the pen down and takes a deep breath. "Forgive me Levi” he says avoiding eye contact with the man as he pulls open a draw and removes a piece of paper. He looks at it for a second or two before placing it face down on the desk in front of Levi. “I believe this belongs to you now but I wasn’t quite sure how to………” he trails off with a worried look. 

Levi stands up and walks forward still looking at Erwin with suspicion. The paper is old, a yellow hue, dog eared in the corners, stained in spots, perhaps from water or even blood? Fingers press into the paper and he hesitantly slides it off the desk. Levi’s eyes blow wide as he takes the sketch in. Something seems to go off in the deep recesses of his mind. Pictures, no memories flashing before his very eyes. It’s chaotic and gives him a sense of vertigo. He needs to sit down so he scoots backwards till the back of his calves hit the couch. 

Erwin has concern written across his face. Several minutes have gone by without a sound. Levi’s face is still pale. He clears his throat. “She’s very lovely Levi” and that seems to break Levi from his trance. 

Levi’s head jerks up, eyes narrow. His body at full alert and defensive. “Where did you get this?” comes out harsher the he means too. 

Erwin treads carefully. “Nile” he replies firmly. 

“Nile?” Levi questions with disbelief. 

Erwin clears his throat. “The military police have finished their investigation of the anti-personal control squad. Kenny Ackerman according to their documentation has no living kin. Therefore, I asked Nile as a personal favor that all of Ackerman’s possessions be released into survey corp custody” Erwin states calmly, almost monotone not to set Levi off. 

Levi returns his gaze to portrait and almost relaxes. “I see." 

Erwin continues "Besides some clothes and personal grooming objects, a vast knife collection was recovered as well. Would you like those as well?" 

"No surprise there” Levi snorts. “I still have the one he gave me. Do whatever you want with the rest.” Another puzzle piece comes into place with this tidbit of information. Erwin had always made assumptions about Levi having favoritism for a particular switchblade in his possession where in the past, Levi dismissed any inquiries on the subject. But to be honest, he couldn’t fault Levi for he still has secrets of his own.

Erwin observes Levi, watches him as he traces lines with his fingertips. He did the same when Nile first handed him the sketch and tells him a name. Her hair black, a sad smile, sharp nose, probably no older than fifteen he would guess but then again, Levi has never looked his age so why would she. And those piercing eyes, they are Levi’s. Even Nile commented on them putting two and two together. Erwin feels guilty for being selfish. He has kept this memento to himself close to a week removing it out of the drawer time and time again. Just staring. A time of innocence before the harsh reality of the underground, no this world that took her life. He thought he masked his emotions well this past week, but perhaps he lost that part of himself in that cell. Or maybe it’s just Levi. He reflects and thanks whatever gods there are in this forsaken place for her……. for him. 

Levi’s eyebrows furrow. "I always thought I imaged this. It was too good to be true because it just didn’t make sense. I was just some dumb kid. What did I know?” Levi mutters looking up from the paper at Erwin. Erwin doesn’t push him for an explanation but Levi sees the puzzlement in his eyes. And surprisingly, he wants to share this with Erwin. 

Levi closes his eyes and dives back through forgotten memories trying to piece it all together. A minute or two after Levi collects his thoughts, he starts talking while looking back down. “I think once maybe twice a year he come back from the bars, a job, whatever and he’d take this sketch out and just stare at it. He.” Levi shallows hard as Erwin watches the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. “He’d say get over here shorty and let me climb in his lap.” Levi’s face softens. “And he’d hold my finger and we would just trace her face going over all the details.” But then his tone hardens and Erwin can see his hands start to shake. “I didn’t even recognize it was her, you know. Just thought it was some pretty young girl. Some son, right?” he remarks as he glances up at Erwin. 

The hurt is evident and Erwin’s fingers twitch. He wants to get up, he wants to wrap his arms around Levi, whisper consoling words with kisses in his hair. But he doesn’t move, just sits and listens not losing eye contact. 

Seconds go by that feel like eternity until Levi bites his lip and turns away. He gets a second boost of courage to continue the story. “And then Kenny would hum this tune and I fucking knew it Erwin.” One corner of Levi’s lip twitches, a ghost of the smile. “I was so excited and we hum,.......no we sang it together.” Erwin hears the mirth in Levi’s voice. They make eye contact again, and Levi looks years younger. “Her lullaby……. to me” Levi whispers. 

Levi sits back, chin pointing to the ceiling, closes his eyes, and starts humming a tune. Erwin has heard it before…… but only from Levi to be quite honest. It echoes in the stables as Levi grooms his horse, fills the hallways during the scrubbing the floors, Erwin’s office with the dusting of bookshelves, and Levi’s private quarters while cleaning his 3D gear. Erwin asked him about it once in passing and Levi clammed up so fast it made his head spin. He learned his lesson not to impose again. He assumed it was from Levi’s childhood, but some memories remained best buried or perhaps forgotten. That doesn’t stop Erwin from memorizing the tune, a piece of Levi he tells himself. The tune stops but Erwin keeps his eyes closed basking in the comfortable silence that falls upon the room.

Levi inhales and his voice shakes a first. Levi never was a boisterous singer but with each passing line, he gains confidence. Erwin’s first blames the softness in melody as he concentrates to make out the words till his eyes snap open with realization. Levi still has his eyes closed but now sits forward, a slight blush on his cheeks, whether from fluster or the glow of candlelight Erwin can’t tell. The syllables that cross Levi’s lips are foreign, notes haunting but beautiful. 

“Levi that was……” Erwin says with awe when Levi finishes looking at him.

“Gibberish. Right? Or at least that’s what I thought when I was little.” Levi’s replies shaking his head. “He said I had to keep it a secret.” Levi pauses. “He caught me singing it one time and well...  He said it was a mistake, I should forget it. We never sang again.” Levi doesn’t need to elaborate. Erwin knows all too well how the naivety of a child’s words can bring about death. Silence stretches between the two again.

But Erwin’s curiosity gets the best of him. “Do you know what the lyrics mean?” regretting it the moment the words come out. Last thing he wants is to draw out the hurt, pain.

“I…..” Levi frowns. He releases a deep breath through his nose and concentrates at some imaginary spot on the floor. Chewed lips barely move but no sound comes out. 

“A mother…..telling her son to sleep. Something about the moon, stories. I’m not sure but he needs to close his eyes and sleep.” He repeats the second verse to himself in the same manner, barely a whisper. “He has to learn a soldier’s life shoot a gun, ride a horse I think. But for now she asks him to sleep.”

Frustration paints Levi’s face. It takes him longer to figure out the third and fourth verses. He repeats words only to shake his head moments later at his thoughts. Erwin wants to stop him from this struggle, say he’s given him more then he could ever fathom. But Levi is stubborn, determined. “Don’t. I’m almost there.” Erwin nods. Levi fidgets, a leg starts bouncing. 

Erwin is not sure how much time has passed but Levi eventually stills his movements. “He leaves looking like a hero. they wave good bye and she wonders how many tears she’ll cry that night. Sleep tight…..her angel. She waits, she prays, she thinks he’s in trouble in a foreign land. So sleep now, you don’t know any sorrows.”

He sings the first line from the final verse. “She gives him something.” Sings the second. “To look at before battle” Sings the third but stops. 

“Levi……..?”

“So he’ll remember. The last part. she……. she asks he doesn’t forget her.” Levi bits his lip again as he stares at the sketch.  He glances up through bangs falling in front of his face. “Erwin….I” but Erwin puts his hand up and shakes his head. Levi nods in return grateful because he’s not even sure if he can even find the words.

[minxiebutt]

In the Name

AO3

Two little oneshots for Izzy ( @eruri-trash-queen ) for the Eruri Secret Valentine Exchange! I absolutely loved your wishlist and I hope you enjoy these.

 1. “In the Name of the Father” Summary: Any guy can be a father, but it takes a man to be a daddy. Kinks & Warnings: daddy kink, bondage, spanking, toys, age play. 100% consensual and scene discussed beforehand.

 2. “In the Name of the Son and the Holy Ghost” Summary: Most clergy have a family to come home to at the end of the day, but Levi only has his demons. Kinks & Warnings: priest kink, demon/priest, two to one Author notes: blasphemy

;;;

 1.

“What do you say, Erwin?”

 Erwin can't help it when the pout sneaks onto his face but he immediately tucks his lips together to smooth it out, inadvertently puffing his already round cheeks when he does.

 “I'm sorry, Daddy.”

 Levi nods his head at Erwin’s apology, but Erwin would be foolish to think that was the end of it. Levi doesn't like it when Erwin touches his tea, and not only did Erwin do just that, he also spilled one of Levi’s canisters of imported Japanese tea all over the cupboard. Erwin had known he was in trouble because instead of being angry, Levi had calmly helped him clean it up without so much as a scolding. It was only afterward that Levi very sternly informed Erwin that he would be disciplined.

 Despite being almost fifteen years younger, Erwin towers over Levi. That gives him no advantage here, however. Erwin is helpless to the suave maturity of Levi when he's freshly arriving from work-- his suit ever crisp, his hair slicked back and in place neatly, a respect-commanding gait and scowl weighed down by responsibility. It makes Erwin’s mouth water.

 He fidgets where he stands and chances a look at the handsome man standing in the diagonal corner of the bedroom, by his armchair next to the window, giving his full attention to his suit jacket. When it's draped carefully across the back of the wingback, Levi undoes his shirt cuffs and rolls his sleeves up, leaving his suit vest on and buttoned. His loafers are already downstairs on the shoe rack.

 “Erwin, go ahead and pick out your own switch.”

 With timid steps, he comes over slowly. On the seat of the wingback is an array of instruments for Erwin’s tender bottom: several styles of riding crops, a paddle each of rubber and wooden, a flogger, and a cat-o-nine. Each pulls a sensation straight south through Erwin’s gut, but he finally settles on the most basic riding crop. When he hands it to Levi, the man hums.

 “My dear, dear little boy,” Levi begins, holding the handle and sliding his thumbs along the length of the instrument before setting it down again, “Doesn't your Daddy work very hard all day?”

 When Erwin only nods silently, Levi scolds, “Yes, what?”

 “Yes, Daddy, you work very hard all day.”

 “Then, my dear, dear, dear little darling, why is it that you've misbehaved so that after a long day of working hard, your Daddy has to come home and punish you?”

 “I don't know, sir.”

 Levi gasps softly, feigning disbelief. He's never so expressive. Erwin flinches. “You don't know, Erwin? Is it… because you need attention?”

 Erwin nods heartily at that. “Yes, sir, I do.”

 “Oh, little boy,” Levi says, and it feels dangerous as he slinks over to Erwin and reaches up to cup his round cheek, “why didn't you use your words and tell me?”

 Swallowing, Erwin says again, “I don't know, sir.”

 Levi tsks softly and pats Erwin’s previously cupped cheek. “Kneel down, darling.”

 Erwin doesn't break the dangerous eye contact as he does what he's told, until he's looking up at Levi imploringly. Usually, Levi comes up to his shoulder, but down here on his knees, it's the other way around.

 “Well, silly boy,” Levi says, and holds up a bright pink leather gag with an obscenely large ring. “It seems you've lost the use of your big boy words, so Daddy will put this on.”

 “Yes, Daddy, please gag me,” Erwin begs, already starting to feel hot in his polo and sweater vest, and his khaki shorts are starting to feel too constricting on his pelvis. Levi offers the ring of the gag to Erwin, he leans forward to take it in his mouth, and after he works it into a tolerable position, Levi reaches behind his head and does up the straps, one at the base of Erwin’s skull, the other near his crown, and checks the tightness twice.

 “Is that comfortable for my little boy?”

 Erwin nods, already feeling his drool pool despite the repetitive swallowing as he adjusts to his mouth being held open.

 “Now, Erwin, Daddy needs you to undress.”

 The blonde jumps to obey and in record time, he's stark naked with his clothing folded nicely and stacked on the floor the way Levi likes. Levi watches him with barely disguised pleasure as, by now, little trails of spit are escaping the corners of Erwin’s mouth. Levi catches one of the trails and wipes it away with his thumb before popping the digit into his own mouth and slurping on it unnecessarily. At the sight, Erwin feels a thrill shoot down through his gut that makes his cock bounce against his abdomen.

 “Don't just gawk, little boy,” Levi scolds, even though he's looking up at Erwin to do so. “Bend over the foot of the bed, up on your elbows, and hold your hands together at the back of your neck.”

 Erwin nods and turns around, closing the distance in just a few steps and bending at the waist so that he can lay his chest on the bed, ever grateful that Levi has a preference for high frames so that he doesn't have to bend uncomfortably or unnatural. (Considering, though, Levi probably had these scenarios in mind when he purchased the massive, king sized set….)

 For a few minutes, Erwin feels the twitching vulnerable on his backside, feeling Levi’s presence without seeing him or knowing what he's doing. When the tip of the riding crop brushes and then spider walks over the back of his right thigh, Erwin jerks hard enough to earn a warning tap.

 “Now, now, my dear little boy, no quivering; you must be brave and take your discipline.”

 Levi’s cold hands brush against Erwin’s wrists to fine tune his position and only miraculously does he stop himself from jumping this time. When Levi is satisfied, he backs up, taking his cold hands with him and Erwin tries to relax.

 The business end of the crop reacquaints with his thigh, nothing but a caress, and Levi says, “Twenty licks for making messes for Daddy to clean up.”

 The first five slaps against the backs of his upper thighs does little more than make him twitch and wiggle, but it’s the sixth one that lights a fire down his spine. Erwin is still hard, but not quite as enthusiastically as before now that his heart is thumping and urging his blood into a marathon. The seventh lash makes his skin burst out in a layer of sweat, and by the twelfth, Levi has increased the force enough that Erwin is mewling.

 “Almost there, dear boy,” Levi says in a pause, and then he delivers the remaining seven lashes in quick succession. Erwin tries to will the tension from his body, to let the pain wash over him and flood out his secret pleasure, but the punishment ends and he’s still running toward the edge of the precipass, desperate for the rush, crying.

 “And,” comes from behind Erwin, “one more for next time you think of making a mess of Daddy’s things.”

 The twenty-first and final lash of the riding crop lands right over his sit spots so hard that for a blinding moment, his vision goes white and his body relaxes down into the bed easily, a haze of bliss rivalling that of an orgasm.

 The next thing Erwin feels are Levi’s cold fingers dancing over his hot backside and he’s grateful.

 “My dear boy,” Levi croons near his ear, and Erwin turns his face up to accept a firm press of Levi’s lips against his forehead.

 Erwin takes another moment to come down, and then he lets himself sink into kneeling, twisting himself around so that he’s facing Levi, who watches with patient curiosity as Erwin nuzzles against the hard length pressing against the zipper seam of his trousers.

 “Does your jaw hurt?” Levi asks. He massages the hinges of Erwin’s jaw as he asks but Erwin shakes his head, looking up at Levi from under his lashes just the way Levi likes. Again, Erwin nuzzles and this time he’s rewarded with a sigh. He moves his mouth over the erection next, leaving a wet, sticky gob of drool.

 Levi snakes his fingers in through Erwin’s hair along his scalp encouragingly with one hand, the other unzipping his trousers and fishing out his dick. Levi is already rigid with desire, but he’s a gentlemen and asks Erwin, “Is this what you want, little boy?”

 Erwin nods, his own cock twitching against his stomach again in agreement. Levi gives himself a gentle squeeze and then angles his length for Erwin to take, and Erwin wastes no time swooping down to slip Levi’s cock through the ring of his gag and into his mouth. The hand along his scalp tightens as he works Levi over, the pooling spit in his mouth coating and slathering and squelching, until Levi swears and slams his cock down Erwin’s throat, following a moment later with hot trails of cum that make Erwin choke as he struggles to swallow it all down.

 Despite his best effort not to waste a drop of Levi’s cum, when Levi pulls himself from Erwin’s mouth, some fluid comes too, a little stream of spit and semen that Levi wipes up with his thumb and licks off. The taste must leave him wanting more, because Levi leans in and thrusts his tongue into Erwin’s mouth to lap up whatever is left.

 “That’s a good little boy, Erwin. Are you ready for a bath?”

 Erwin reaches behind his head and undoes the straps of the gag, works his jaw a few times, and says, “Yes, Daddy.”

;;;

2.

The open arms of the Church drew Levi in when, at twenty years old, his mother died of AIDS and his criminal uncle bit the bullet. Immoral lives always met early ends and because of that, Levi decided a life dedicated to God was the one for him. The seminary accepted him gladly-- proof that God called on those from the lowest of the low to lead His people.

 After he was ordained, Levi took a position in a backwater Louisiana parish where segregation was very much enforced, even in the pews. One of his first sermons addressed that issue, and he was immediately met with such startling rejection that he understood why this particular church struggled to keep a priest in its parsonage. Still, he prepared a message for the few that continued to come on Sundays. He made house calls to the sick and the shut-ins, he scraped together decent meals from his own wanting cupboards to feed the families too poor to eat regularly, and he never turned down a request for prayer, regardless of whether or not the person attended and gave tithe. Levi gave a warm, open-armed embrace to his new community even though his call to love thy neighbour was proving to bring scorn his way.

 “I can punish these heathens for you,” something darkly whispered to him at his evening prayers. Levi was alone in the small bedroom of his parsonage, kneeling before his bed with his elbows pressing into the threadbare covers. First, he looked out the window, thinking maybe a stray voice had wafted in through the opened panes, but when he looked over his shoulder, he found the real source of the promise.

 “Father,” the demon behind him called, closer now. When Levi didn’t answer, he called louder, “Faaatheeer….”

 “You will not harm my people,” Levi said sternly.

 “You take all the fun out of it,” the demon chided, appearing on Levi’s bed, spread out casually on his back with his hands tucked behind his head. “What good is it to have my service when you never use it?”

��“I didn’t ask for you, I asked for an angel,” Levi said, defending his prayer to God from nearly two years ago. “Now let me finish my prayers.”

 Being bound to obey everything Levi told him, the demon stayed quiet until Levi rose and rubbed the stiffness from his knees. He made his way through the bedroom and back into the kitchen, flicking on the light to find the demon had situated himself at the table, sitting in the chair opposite the priest’s normal one.

 “The Big Man admires your dedication,” the demon said when Levi took the seat.

 “That’s enough, Erwin, can’t you do something other than taunt me?”

 The golden devil shrugged his shoulders, his arms folded over his chest. He was a handsome creature of blonde hair and heavily tanned skin dappled with freckles, muscularly appealing and carnally tempting like all demonic things should be. “There’s not much to do around here since you won’t let me torment anyone.”

 “Love and mercy,” Levi reminded him.

 “Oh, yes, love and mercy, blah blah blah,” Erwin mocked. Tossing his head back, he let out a sinister howl of laughter. “Come on, Father, don’t you want even a little revenge?”

 “No, and do not bring it up again.” At the command, Erwin pouted and vanished, only to reappear right behind Levi, who could feel the large, hot hands grip his shoulders, and the equally hot breath fan over his neck. He told himself that the shiver was from the stifling heat.

 “You feel tense, Father, why don’t I help you relax?”

 Oh, that, Levi could allow. Just the slightest, he tipped his head back in permission, and Erwin immediately began to nuzzle in. A moment after closing his eyes, two hands became four, and he blinked his eyes open again to find Erwin had spawned another corporeal form that was now nudging Levi’s knees open.

 “Is that how you want it?” Levi asked, allowing the demon to spread his legs. In the overwhelming Louisiana July, he was clothed only in a pair of cotton briefs and a tight tank top.

 “Yes,” both Erwins answered in unison. Out of courtesy, the demon usually conjured clothing to hide his nakedness, and in an instant, his jeans and t-shirt disappeared without a trace, leaving him nude and his cock on display, and Levi was glad for the loophole that fornication referred to sexual relations with a man or woman.

 Erwin’s hands on his shoulders blazed a trail over his chest, stopping to pinch Levi’s nipples and then gave them a sharp tug. The second Erwin joined in, lifting Levi’s tank top to allow better access, cupping Levi’s pectorals to puff them out. The fingers on his nipples tugged again, and Levi threw his head back with a gritted whine as, at once, two mouths closed over each of his abused buds.

 “Ah! Erwin!”

 The demon standing behind him lifted his head and pressed his face into the back of Levi’s neck for a wet, messy kiss on the skin. When Levi opened his eyes, the Erwin before him was smirking as he continued to suckle, his adam’s apple bobbing with each lap of his tongue. The priest fisted his hands in the golden hair to coax out eye contact, and when he had it, he moaned long and low for encouragement.

 Whether the flush that creeped along Erwin’s cheekbones was sincere or fabricated, Levi didn't care. He reached forward and pinched Erwin’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and hauled him up for a rough kiss, biting hard enough to draw blood but only tasting wispy smoke instead. That earned Levi retribution, and the Erwin behind him picked him up by his underarms and tossed him onto the rickety table. Levi landed flat on his back with a grunt.

 “Fucking viper,” the bitten Erwin cursed affectionately and stood. He came around the table to where Levi’s head was at the same time as the other came and fished Levi’s cock from his boxers and gave it a coy stroke to liven it up.

 Levi looked to Erwin who hovered directly over him and waggled his finger in a come here motion. Erwin vanished again and instantly appeared on the table, straddling Levi, a trail of candle smoke marking his transition.

 “Bring that ass here,” Levi ordered, taking handfuls of the tight cheeks and forcing them apart. Erwin whined in submission, scooting on his knees until he was above Levi’s face, and then Levi coaxed him lower until he could slip his tongue against the demon’s hole.

 Erwin let out a satisfied sigh and relaxed down onto Levi’s mouth, meanwhile Erwin between Levi’s legs was still stroking him. Levi could feel himself going rigid, his cock wanting to bounce up against his stomach in desperation for stimulation, but that's when Erwin decided to take Levi in his mouth, reciprocating the oral Erwin on the table was receiving. That pleasure that shot up through Levi’s gut only made him thrust his tongue further into Erwin. To show his appreciation, Erwin rocked against Levi’s mouth with a breathy moan.

 “You like it like this?” Levi paused to ask.

 Both Erwins hummed, so Levi drove his tongue in deeply over and over as Erwin continued to suck him. After several minutes of intense licking to loosen him up, Levi slapped Erwin’s ass and announced, “You're going to ride me.”

 Levi watched in lustful awe as the Erwins merged together above him, one coming up from between his legs and meeting the other, scooting his way down Levi’s torso, in the middle above Levi's hips. With a sigh of relief, Erwin gripped Levi's dick, aligned it to himself, and slid down to bottom out in one smooth motion. Levi grabbed the tops of Erwin's thighs and squeezed, letting his fingernail dig in, knowing that there wouldn't be any blood to show.

 Erwin’s head fell back and his mouth was opened and slack in bliss. Levi brought one of his own hands to his mouth and gave his palm a healthy slobbering before wrapping it around the base of Erwin’s length. Helplessly, Erwin rolled his hips, being fucked by Levi and fucking Levi’s hand all at once, and moaned without any shred of decency until they both came. This was how the priest liked it. Levi, who spent his days being directed by the will of God, enjoyed taking control and dominating Erwin, whose physical form was so much more dominating. It made Levi feel powerful.

[damian-palendryl]

Scraps of Past V: The Ice Lands’ Tragedy Forgotten in Snow part III

The village itself mostly consisted of Elvish/Human/mixed population and one Dwarf family. It was truly a Shaman village as almost everybody there owned a Spirit Companion, though not everyone was familiar with more than few basic Shaman spells. Still more than me at the time, though.

The best of Shamans then brought money, trade and more jobs to the village while taking on the mercenary work, all over the Northern part of the continent; the others stayed, becoming fishers, hunters, herbalists, tanners, etc.

While talking to Mami, I was finally able to describe the nature of my problem and the main reasons for risking my life and setting off on this peculiar journey.

Mami was very kind and almost immediately sent her husband Barck for the village Chieftain Grisha, the oldest and greatest Shaman in the village and its wide surroundings.

Grisha was a wise-looking Elvish woman of the uncertain age between 50 and 500 when you really can't tell how long is this specimen actually walking among us. To be more specific, her stature was about the same as mine, so rather small but her back was slightly hunched. Nevertheless, she always walked briskly and without any age-related trouble. Her hair was long and grey, gaze dark but clear and her forehead full of deep wrinkles, boosting up the "Wise Chieftain" impression to the max.

She sat down with me and Mami by the fire and introduced herself to me, complimenting me on my manners when I got up as she entered the long house and offered to help her sit down. Chieftain Grisha didn't seem to be so baffled by my looks like all the others who had come to see me in the long house and along with Mami they started to explain everything, including the distrust I'd received just minutes ago.

So if we are speaking about the most important of the village people, the very first would be Chieftain Grisha. Everybody listened to her advice and even the Elders would never go against her. The position of Chieftain had always gone to the most powerful Shaman of the Clan and it had been decided by the Elders after the death of the previous Chieftain. Grisha obtained the title when she was 51 years old after leading the Clan safely through Herrgrough Pass while running away from the warriors of other tribes.

Next, of course, would be the Elders. Any citizen older than 50 years old automatically became one of the Elders. The Elders made every major decision concerning the future of the Clan and it was also them who led all the trials concerning local disputes.

But both the Chieftain and Elders sometimes had to step down when the Seer voiced her opinion. The Seer right now was Mami. The same as the position of the Chieftain, the Seer was a role for life with the exception that you had to be born as one. The abilities of a seer were passed down for generations in Haarlar family. Every generation had one person able to foresee the future and the whole Clan hang onto the Seer's every word.

As you've probably guessed already, this generation's Seer was Mami. A young 30+ years old woman, always kind and gentle.

...

Her huge husband Barck didn't like me one bit from the start but was forced by his wife to treat me nicely. As was everybody in the village.

I was told by the Chieftain that the whole Clan is looking at me with distrust because of Mami's first vision. The very first vision of every Seer is of their own death. During her last moments she saw fire reaching the sky and a white person standing in front of her. Given how well respected Mami was throughout the whole village and the worries concerning the fire and possible disaster for the whole Clan, I couldn't exactly blame them for being so warry of my pale ivory existence.

Mami also explained to me while her little son Erwin played with my hair, how her visions work. So the vision she sees is a possibility that will happen with how the current things are. If she recognizes what the vision is about, she can urge the others to act in a way to avoid the danger or seize prosperity. Mostly, though, she isn't able to locate the time or place of the vision and in such a case, she can't voice an advice. If such a thing happens, she goes to the Elders and they discuss the possibilities and future actions.

If the future gets changed, Mami will not dream of that vision again. The vision of her death amidst fire is of a huge concern for the whole Clan because it hasn't vanished, even though they'd moved since then twice.

"What about the phrasing of the visions, is that a thing for you Seers? Speaking in riddles?" I asked, handing over to Erwin my velvet satchel with colourful beads to play with and chew on.

Mami laughed lightly. "It's not hereditary if you mean it like that. But voicing the vision will affect all the people around and yes, I cannot lie, that's something I've sworn, to never lie, but even the words themselves can affect the future. Before saying anything, I first have to think about it carefully and more than once I've had to withhold parts of the visions because informing about them would cause more danger and grief than saying nothing."

"It sounds like a tough role to take on," I said, evading the satchel that just barely missed my face.

Mami just smiled at me. There was something in her face, showing sadness but I couldn't figure out what. I just wondered if she might have kept to herself any part of the vision she had while seeing me. "Ok, now show me your hand!" Mami took my hand in her palm, looking at it, slightly frowning as she was trying to concentrate.

"Can you do chiromancy?" I asked, and with my free hand I pulled the energetic toddler on his way towards the door back to us.

Mami laughed. "You're a great caretaker, that's good to know. I do this "palm reading" just for fun and because it's somewhat expected of me with my visions and all."

Barck - the local taverner, until now only listening to us while cleaning the cups, handed the Chieftain her drink and join in on the conversation: "She makes money with that silly witchcraft but I ain't complainin'. Not many pass by here to spend theirs and locals got barely any. Erwin!" The toddler froze on the spot and decided to abandon the thought of pulling the cloth of the table along with all the tableware that would fall on him.

"He can't speak but he listens to my husband very well," Mami chuckled. "So! What are you interested in, concerning your future?"

I watched Barck take his son behind the counter and to the back of the house, probably to change Erwin's pants. "I… want to become a Shaman and travel and do adventures but I'm weak…"

The Chieftain sat down to us again, now with her drink, watching closely. There were only a few other people in the long house, mostly men, drinking gerb, a very strong beer,  thick in its consistence. I was holding tightly onto a cup of hot wine, served to me by Barck a few minutes ago.

"You are concerned about your strength, I see. The Chieftain will tell you more about your Shaman capabilities than me, I'm afraid but let me see… Hmm… hmmm…"

I was left hanging in anticipation for a few moments. Nervosity eating at me.

"I think there's nothing to worry about, my dear," she said finally. "You're definitely going to outlive us all. Thank you!" For a moment, I wondered what is she thanking me for. Whether for me allowing her to do her thing or for living a long life. Living a happy long life would be much better to hear, though.

"That's great news," Chieftain congratulated me. "Now, let me say my peace."

The two women handed me among themselves as a fresh curiosity or a piece of meat.

The Chieftain put a hand on my shoulder. "Now call your Spirit Companion," she ordered.

I nodded, took out Arind's stone and called for my Bear. The whole height of the building was suddenly full of the White Bear standing on two feet a roaring, a-three-meter tall, viciously looking animal.

I have to say, I liked the effect it had on other people who saw it for the first time. Everyone in the long house turned their attention to us. The Chieftain frowned, even more wrinkles forming on her face. "And you say, you haven't undergone the Initiation Ritual, yet, right?" She got up and decided to look at the Bear from all angles.

"Yes, that's right," I nodded. "He showed up once when I was in trouble."

"And were you trying to summon it?"

"I was thinking about that and unconsciuosly, I think, I was. Or at that time, I knew how it's done and my intention was to call for help and he came. I've been able to summon him ever since. To control him, that's the problem."

"The Chieftain stopped pacing and just watched the Bear. "Even if you knew "how it's done", you shouldn't have been able to summon it, my dear… We have a girl here with similar conditions but also very different. And from what I remember, that have been several like her and not one like you. You say, your only trouble is comunicating with your Spirit Companion? No fatigue or regular fevers and such…?"

"No, nothing like that. And the communication also clears when there are strong emotions involved… Like he feels what I feel but he doesn't hear the words."

"How many times did it save your life?"

"I'm not sure, his company saves me everyday," I put a hand in the Bear's glowing furr.

"I will have to meditate," announced the Chieftain and left the long house.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 19 - start another request slipped in

Needing a shirt for court, and finding none of Levi's fitted over the swell of his stomach, Eren had been quite the schemer. Levi hadn't taken the first step to reconcile things with Erwin, and their unrepayable debt to Mike weighed heavily on his mind. Mike deserved to be happy, and surely this thing between Levi and Erwin had to be weighing heavily on him. So. He'd messaged Mike and explained he needed a shirt, then asked for Erwin to drop it off so Levi would have to talk to him, and to bring a few drinks to make the conversation easier. Mike seemed to be on the same wavelength as him, as the man messaged back with a thumbs up emoji. It wasn't like Eren liked Erwin... he couldn't forgive him for keeping secrets like this, but Levi needed a friend and Erwin cared deeply for Levi, despite the current situation. He'd been by Levi's side for over two decades, he'd guided Levi through the dark times and he'd kept him on his. Erwin had probably believed that would always be the case, until he'd shown up with his baggage and stolen Levi away from him. With his good deed done, Eren flopped back into bed. His stomach was rapidly bruising from where Nick had hit him, while the pups were still moving up a storm inside. He'd already had to pee twice since they'd arrived home, and Viren had been too active for cuddles. Now the pup was sleeping in their bed, he could resume cuddling their son while Levi got some house work done... totally unaware that Erwin would arrive and he'd be forced to work things out with him. They were alphas with pride to spare. Surely they could find a way to fix things before he had to slap both of them for being idiots. Eren was still awake when Erwin arrived. He could hear the man stuttering in the doorway, while Levi demanded to know what was going on. Climbing out of bed, he walked to the doorway, tapping on the open door to get Levi's attention. Looking back at him, Levi didn't look happy "Do you know what's going on here?" Nodding he waved for Erwin to come in "Eren..." Slipping past Levi, Erwin was armed with a black business shirt and a carton of beer. He probably would have chosen something other than beer, as it tended to make Levi horny, but this conversation wouldn't be happening without alcohol. Starting to sign, he kept his movements slow so that even Erwin could follow "I asked Mike if I could borrow a better shirt for court" Levi's lips twitched "I asked him if Erwin could deliver it, because I'm sick of all this fighting. Erwin. I am so beyond angry with you, and I really want to slap you. But you were Levi's best friend and right now, he needs all the friends he can get. I don't want to hear any talk about the trial, but I do want you two to talk this out. Now. I'm going to make us dinner and we are going to all sit down and eat. After that, I'll put Viren down for the night, and you two will get your fucking acts together. Even if you have to hit each other in the process. I am sick of losing people, and I will not have my alpha and his best friend fighting and dragging everyone else into this. It's exhausting. Do I make my self clear?" "Eren..." Glaring at Levi, his alpha nodded. Looking to Erwin, he nodded too "Good" Darting back into the bedroom, Eren lifted Viren. The boy was waking as it was. Carrying him out to the living room, he sat him down on the recliner "Your job is to watch him while I make dinner" Levi mumbled something under his breath, earning himself another glare. Alphas were worse than omegas with their pettiness. Sorting things out between the pair was hardly how he thought tonight would go, but it did take his mind off the trial and he was grateful for that. After dinner, Eren retired to bed in an attempt to give the pair as much space as possible. Viren had still been pretty sleepy, so Levi had taken over getting him ready to go. Falling asleep was easy, his belly filled with dinner and his mate was sorting shit out. It was middle of the night when Levi woke him up, his alpha's hands all over his body as mouthed at their bonding mark. Rolling his hips, Levi was basically dry humping him. Whining softly at his alpha, he found himself rolled onto his back, so Levi could claim his mouth, one hand plunging down his pyjama bottoms to see out his opening. Nipping at Levi's lip, his mate pulled back "You're so fucking perfect. God. I can't believe I have someone like you, Eren" Yep. Levi was drunk. His mate's fingertips brushing against his slicking hole as Levi pushed his lips back to his. This wasn't bad. Just unexpected... he liked when Levi was drunk, he never knew what was going to come out the man's mouth. Letting out a growl, Levi moved, pushing two fingers in without warning "Fuck... this pretty pink pussy of yours is so fucking wet for me" If Eren could have laughed, he would have howled with laughter at Levi's description of his arse "How do you get so wet for me? How are you so perfect? You're everything to me. Did you know that? You're my everything. I need to taste you. But I want to be in you... and I want to ride you. You have no idea how you mess me up inside. I want to fuck you, but I want to hold you" Reaching up, Eren snaked an arm around Levi, wriggling against his fingers "You want me? I'm going to make you so full, you're getting pregnant all over again" English really wasn't Levi's strongest forte after drinking. Nor was taking it slow. Despite the odd angle, his mate was already fucking him as hard as he could with his fingers "I'm going to feed from those breasts of yours while I knot you... fuck. Eren... I need you. I need to be in you. I love you. I love you so much. Did you know that? Do you know I brought a wedding ring? I want to marry you, but you won't say yes anymore. I want you to be mine. I need it. I need you to be mine... I want to bend you over in that courtroom. I want them all to know you're mine. That you're carrying my pups. Fuck... you're mine... thank you... thank you baby..." * Levi was an alpha in a world of regrets. Nursing his head, his hangover was only very mild, but Eren wasn't impressed with him which made it was worse than it was. Consumed with lust for his mate, he'd suckled from Eren's breast, Eren moaning and riding him as he did. Slowing down, Levi had thought his mate was close to coming. Holding Eren down in his lap, his mate started pushing away. Without the use of his voice, his omega couldn't couldn't communicate his need to pee, Eren wetting himself in Levi's lap as soon as he'd come. Instead of finding it revolting, he pushed his mate down, riding him harder than before. Crying and clinging to him, such a vulnerable Eren was like catnip for his alpha, acting before he'd realised he'd gone too far... Overly stimulated and overly sensitive without being able to communicate it, Eren clenched around him as he covered his face. Drunk and released of his inhibitions, he wanted to make Eren feel better over wetting himself, he'd pulled out and come across Eren's wet stomach... he'd intended to wet himself, yet instead pushed back into his mate and... peed. The sensation of coming and peeing lead to one of the most intense orgasms he'd ever had. Eren so wet and full, as he grasped his stomach and whined, while Levi continued to thrust. He had his alpha to thank for that, able to come without going soft in order to breed his mate. Riding Eren fast, each time his hips slapped against Eren's arse, Eren peed a little more... shamefully, he knotted his mate... then passed out top of him. Even more shamefully, he'd been drunk, Eren had not. Eren remembered everything. Waking up to find himself in the bathtub, he had no memory of getting there. Soaking in warm water, he didn't remember what happened the previous night until walked into the living room to find Eren in the kitchen, while Erwin was playing Viren. Obliviously, he moved to his mate's side "Hey, beautiful" Going to kiss Eren, he was pushed away with a glare "Eren?" Opening his mouth, Eren huffed with nothing came out. Standing there, his omega didn't look happy at all "You are an arsehole. You peed in me and fell asleep between my legs" "I..." "I was going to leave your arse in our bed, because I fell asleep with you still inside of me. But you're lucky you said some nice things last night... but no more peeing in me! Never again! I seriously felt so full I thought I was going to burst" That was when it all came back to him... he could feel his face reddening "I am so sorry. I was really..." "Horny. Really horny. My arse was destroyed with your dick then you pissed in me" He couldn't tell if Eren was starting to find the humour in the situation or not... probably not. Not when he had to testify. He was lucky to be being talked to, and if the bath was warm, he couldn't have been in there that long "You are... right. Fuck... Did I hurt you? Did I hurt them?" "My legs are sore, but because I'm nice, I dumped you in the bath when I went for a shower" "I am so sorry. I love you... how long do we have before we need to go?" They had to be there at 8am... and he had absolutely no idea what the time was... "If you two are talking about last night, I closed your bedroom door for you. You're welcome" Eren rolled his eyes, so maybe he was forgiven? He'd made sure Eren was feeling into it, his love needed to get out of his own brain for a while "Erwin took care of Viren this morning so I could clean up. We have about an hour" "Is there anything I can do to help?" "Move the washing into the dryer when it's done" "Alright. You should be resting" "I need to keep busy. If I stop to think, I just feel overwhelmed. Go play with the children" "Have you two talked?" "I slapped him. I feel ok now" Reaching out, Eren let him cup his face. Rubbing his mate's soft skin, he hadn't noticed his omega was wearing make up. Careful not to destroy Eren's hard work, he kissed his lips rather than his cheek "That's my omega. And... I really am sorry I lost my head last night. I'm going to check that washing, then I'll get ready. I meant what I said last night. You're my omega and I love you" He couldn't quite remember all his drunken ramblings, but he knew he would have told Eren how perfect and precious he was... because he was... is. * Separated from Levi again, Eren wished he could wait to be called with his mate with him. Levi might have been a drunken fool the previous night, but he was an affectionate drunken fool who didn't stop kissing him or praising his body as he touched him. He'd needed the comfort, and Levi had provided it... before passing out on his stomach and letting out a huge snore. Clutching his necklace, he jumped when the waiting room door was knocked on. Watching the door open, the man there looked him up and down "Eren Yeager?" Nodding his confirmation, the man moved from the doorway "Come with me" Led through a small hall, he was ushered through two plain doors, then he was there in the court room. His heart was racing as tried to remember what he'd been told by Floch. He had to wait before he could sit. He had to swear on an oath, though he didn't know how that would work. And... and he had to answer their questions. Despite the size of the courtroom, the walls seemed to closing in on him. Rows of eyes were all fixed on him, yet he couldn't find Levi in the crowd... Levi was supposed to be there. He said he'd be there... Oh fuck. This was it. He was being talked to... no about. They were talking about him, and the translator who was standing near the jury... They were recording everything to... He wanted to throw up on his shoes. His pups were going crazy and his stomach ached like fuck... "Due to the omega's fragile mental and physical state, the court has deemed it necessary that he will be giving evidence in a series of appearances, rather than forcing him to recount the details all at once..." Hang on... What?! Since when... what? Floch hadn't said that. He'd said once he'd taken the stand, he'd be done unless he was called on again at later date. His statement was supposed to have been read already... No... Looking to Floch, the man didn't seem surprised, in fact he was smiling as if this worked in their favour. Casting his glance to Nick, the man looked just as gleeful... Could they do this? Were they allowed to do this? This didn't happen in the TV shows he'd watched... "Eren Yeager, can you please state your full name for the court. On your right, you will find a bible, you may take your oath on the bible, or you may read the oath attached to the reverse side..." Shit... shit... shit... What was he supposed to do? Seeking his translator, she signed to him. Thank fuck. He could sign "Eren, do you understand?" Flinching as the judge turned his attention to him, he probably looked like a fucking moron. A useless omega that knew nothing... He nodded slowly, before the judge cleared his throat. Fuck. So nodding wasn't going to cut it... This was an awful idea... that could only end badly. * Levi was furious. Grabbing Floch's shoulder, he barely kept himself from growling. How could this possibly be for the best? Or in Eren's best interests. His mate was fucking terrified. Everyone had felt it when Eren was led in. The courtroom used scent cancellers, but with such a nervous and upset omega, you didn't need smell Eren to know he was scared. Nick was whispering back and forth furiously. Levi had been in the witness stand before, even he'd felt off kilter by it all. His omega hadn't even opened his mouth and he was being describe as weak and fragile. The jury was being swayed before Eren could say a thing... No wonder Nick looked so fucking happy. From his angle, he couldn't watch Eren sign. With his shorter stature, he didn't even know if Eren knew he was there to support him.