#My Rock [Smierc]

[cant-kill-me-if-im-already-dead]

TAG DUMP

I'll update this as need be, but here is a current tag list!

[amaranthinaugust]

za-smierc-przyjaciela replied to your post: I feel like shit ugh

If it’s about shamshock, fic has been my rock and comfort. I am writing some, but reading might also help. The writers hecked it up. I’m turning to better storytellers.

If you come across any good ones or finish yours send it my way I'd love to read it <3

[cant-kill-me-if-im-already-dead]

October 4: So… it's been a few days, and a lot has happened. Learning about Smierc being [REDACTED] was a lot. And with everything else that's happened recently? Something in me just snapped. I regretted what I did immediately, even if I didn't realize it at the time. It felt like something deep within me was just sort of pulled away. Like something was just torn from my soul when that portal closed and I stayed behind… You know, I've read enough novels about 'soulmates’ by now to have a sense of what that might look like. But, looking back on everything, maybe that's what this is? I mean, each of us 'Champions’ have had strange things happen to our souls since our journey began. Maybe all of us are bound together somehow, maybe our souls or destinies are all linked together by this.

Maybe that's why I waited by that portal for hours, hoping deep down that they'd return for me. But they didn't. Sunnie ended up convincing me to go back (side note— find a way to make this journal tamper-proof!) and I’m glad that I did. Things still feel odd, I'm not sure they'll all trust me again, if ever, but I'm hopeful.

I really missed everyone.

[cant-kill-me-if-im-already-dead]

October 1:

… He's gone.

[cant-kill-me-if-im-already-dead]

September 29:

A lot happened today. We came across an outpost full of those warforged, the ones like Wheatley. Senna and Android were able to disrupt the signal while Parsley, Wheatley, and I worked to distract the bots. Senna and Android were able to find some of the humans from the village… I hate being right sometimes. They were being harvested, apparently. There was one survivor. It was… hard to watch. Senna handled him. I…I couldn't, I was too focused on my sending stone. Sunnie worried me earlier, and never replied. I tried checking in on Smierc, but he brushed me off. I'm worried. Spingledorf showed up and showed us the magic that Zorbolt has been using to power the control beacons; ancient primordial power (I've included notes in the back of this journal!) Then we fought a house (thank you, Parsley) and that was exhausting. Oh. And a tree. That happened. I really hope that things are okay back home. I'm really worried things are gonna take a turn for the worse.

[cant-kill-me-if-im-already-dead]

September 25:

I'm… tired. I didn't get nearly as many answers as I'd hoped. Dr. Cirmes’ words keep echoing in my mind. ‘Waste.’ He's right, of course. I've wasted so much recently. Potions, magic…even time. But not anymore these friends I've made, these people who've barely known me for a week helped me to embrace my true self. My old skin has been burned away, my fears, shame, and pride alongside it. But Senna held my hand as it melted in the flames. These people are good to me. Maybe too good. I still haven't been able to tell them about my doubts in the final trial, but I will.

We're heading off in the morning, and it's making me remember how much I'd missed everyone. Especially Smierc. He's always been here for me, and I found myself wandering to him again tonight. Things just feel so easy with him, like they always have. I know he doesn't see me as anything more than “Little Teya,” but I do still love him. Hard as I may try, I can't seem to push those feelings down. Maybe time will help me move forward. I don't want to jeopardize things with him, gods only know where I'd be without him here.

[cant-kill-me-if-im-already-dead]

September 19:

More fighting, stuck with the same folks as yesterday. I don't know what it is, but I like being around them. We were shot, stabbed, and burned, but we made it. I was finally able to use some of the spells I learned from Smierc's old books, and I was shocked to see how strong that magic felt. I'm still reeling from the last trial. It's awful to think about how many people died for this. Survivor's guilt, I suppose. I feel like I can't give up now, I need to prove that their sacrifices weren't meaningless. I have to admit, I was close to running earlier. This… ‘god,’ he seemed to know about Sunnie. I'm scared of whatever else he might've learned. If he learned about Smierc, about how I feel… Hells, if he learned about Tori's secret it would mean trouble. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

[cant-kill-me-if-im-already-dead]

July 29:

I keep wanting to go back to those days in Smierc's old bookshop. I miss just hanging out in the back, reading his old necromancy journals. At least he let me bring those with me when I left. I seem to have an excess of time for studying and practicing magic. I kinda wish those days didn't have to end. Smierc always seemed to understand me, more than anyone else. But it's time for me to stand on my own two feet.

[cant-kill-me-if-im-already-dead]

July 27:

… So “total freedom” is quite boring. Didn't think I'd say this so soon, but I'm a little homesick. I think Sunnie could tell, he keeps telling me I can come home any time I'd like. I think he might also be lonely. At least he's got Smierc to keep him company. I miss them both…

[amaranthinaugust]

za-smierc-przyjaciela replied to your post “I dyed my hair and my family is telling me it looks bad even though I...”

you do you boo. Rock on.

Thank you <3. It did come out a lot darker than expected but we’ll see how it evens out in the coming days. For now I like it though