#My Partner Manager Told Me More People Sign Up When I'm Direct

[theabigailthorn]

PATREON.COM/PHILOSOPHYTUBE

[roses-adventures]

Okay two things one In that first photo immediately I went to posture and facial expression etc. He's sitting rigid which implies he's got a vest, his feet are in a position to be able to move at any second, his cup wasn't held comfortably and even the way he's holding his phone shows he's recording. His face also says fuck I'm caught.

Now I actually am really good at reading people so is My boyfriend, as a kid/young adult I wanted to be an fbi profiler (until I realized thats a joke) or international spy (I'm disabled) or a lawyer (i have 4 years of political science and Hispanic studies degrees focused on law, prisons, Healthcare and immigration so thats still an option when i have money) and I find human psychology fascinating that was my first choice major but my disability prevented a psych degree, and my boyfriend worked military and then in the police department in the csi lab (both non US). It's also worth mentioning that certain times we have zero filter, so we just say things sometimes 🤣. we run a kik group together and this guy comes in the group, I own it so I verify the guy, get his age and location all that. Then he starts talking and something just seems ....off. now I also lived in the hood on and off for 12 years and I recognized the way he spoke. Literally the tone he texted in and the words he used, even his pfp just the photo of him screamed cop. finally after a couple hrs of him being there I was like, "are you a cop?" And he was like......radio silence.... my boyfriend whos on a call with me is dying laughing saying "babes you can't just ask people if they're cops 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣" I'm like "well I just did, if he's from the US directly asked they're legally required to tell us especially if he's trying to collect info" so we wait finally dude goes, "yeah..I am" I was like "I knew it" my boyfriend smokes weed legally and dude would manage to come on during the times he was, we messed with him for a bit too, nothing mean just talked as we normally do about me being a prison abolitionist and some of the other members would joke about committing low level crime or them being angels, our trauma, smexual experiences etc, all of which im sure was way more than this guy signed up for, a couple of the members like me and my boyfriend have bad experiences with cops (I was never arrested and never committed a crime i am very often, harrassed, stalked, made fun of and lied to by police that it makes it difficult to be comfortable with them) (my partner just has problems with authority), so we were more on guard. He left a few days later, either because we bore him or he found out we're all clean there legally speaking, and he couldn't buy drugs (though he did ask at one point whether joking or not thats sus).

Anyway, pigs love sheep clothing. Make sure you know how to spot them, your rights, local laws, basic federal laws and by all means DO NOT EXPECT THEY KNOW THE LAW, THEY DON'T. I've had more than 3 lie or blatantly not know the law and its always put me in a bad position. Remind them of the law, correct them, they hate it but it's entirely necessary.

I tend to also get harassed because I'm not light enough for them (I'm mixed race) so another tip a very very strange one at that. If you go out and are asking question or directions some place but you don't look like your only ancestors stepped off the mayflower but your friend does, have them ask the question or directions. I've tested it, they got rude with me acted like I was gonna steal cars and condescendingly said "maybe next time remember where you parked it" (it was 10pm in Seattle everything's dark we got there at 5pm when it was sunny of course we lost the car) anyway they turned to My friend who looks like a lighter version of the lucky charms mascot Character and kindly told him exactly how to get there.

Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release

[bonnielassie23]

Is this a kdrama, or your life? An old friend asks for a favour. There's trouble ahead and a shit tone of awkwardness. Season one of your life has come to an end.

This is a y/n story with Jhope as the male lead. She's smart and sweet, but life can be cruel and downright fucked up.

If yall like it, let me know and I will post more parts.

Joy and Hope has 18 parts and on wattpad already, and it is part of a 3 event series.

This is the wattpad link if you want to read.

I'm very new on this app and not sure what I'm doing yet x

Disconnection.

"Thank you so much for helping me out, I can't get there for a few days, my visa was delayed , then not sent with the groups and now I cant get a flight to join them. You're a life saver, and I won't forget it. You're an angel, and I owe you big time!"

Nicole is your old college friend. She's called out of the blue with a favour.

You are flying to Sweden from Germany, where you have been working for a few months. Nicole works for a band in Korea, and the members are having some sort of vacation. A mix-up with visa dates, and you're now helping out until she can get there. You don't know the band, there's not much call for knowing them in Europe. Most people here have only heard of Psy, and that's because his song made it to the US.

Arriving in the hostel, you realise its been booked out for the guys and their camera crew and security and managers. Maybe they are the next big boy band! The security member meets you at reception, you fill out a few different pieces of paperwork, sign a confidentiality form, and are escorted to your room.

The manager waits while you put away your small luggage case, and he walks you to the common room. This is when you are introduced to the band. There's seven of them and maybe four other people in their entourage. It's a quick "hello, I'm Nicole's friend, I'm only here for a day or two, and then she will take over." Nicole has told them about you and a little of how you met. What she didn't tell you is that they are all very handsome and sweet.

Its not that you don't interact with them. They are kind of shy, so except to help with the usual directions and how to pay for shit they don't really speak too much. Well, some of them don't. One of them understands and speaks English well. The others not so much. The members greet you in Korean and sometimes English, its kind of cute when they throw out random English words. The management have gifted them this holiday for their hard work, its also a way for them to build deeper bonds and create memories. They are filming their time on this holiday and showing some of it to their fans. It seems strange that this private time would be filmed for their fans to enjoy later. But hey, the K-pop industry is not something you know a lot about.

Fast forward two years and some change.

You've been dating someone since returning to Germany. He's from South Korea, 3 months older than you, honey toned skin, dark brown hair, a soft face, and a warm heart. He's got a great body, too. But he enlists 18 months of mandatory service in the military. Not one to sit around, you make use of the time to work overseas and go back whenever possible for his days off.

His name is 이 동진 (Lee DongJin). He's not the most exciting sexual partner, but he loves you. You have met his family, and they love you too. While working in Tokyo,'Cole' asks for another favour. You guys have kept in touch since your last favour. Going for girls' nights out and shopping days when you're in the same country. The band she was assigned to has become quite well known in Korea and has also been on tour to some parts of Europe and the US.

Nicole has asked you to cover for her in the US next month, she's hurt her leg and won't be able to fly, plus "it's only a few days and you've worked with him before, please" she whinges down the phone. You say yes. It's all money for your life with DongJin for when he gets out of the military. The flights and hotel have been booked. You will be able to complete the contract you're on, then fly to Seoul, where you can do a few errands and then onward to LA. Easy.

You know it's for a member, but you're not sure which one. It doesn't matter. it's a few days contract with 3 languages. DongJin is being discharged in 3 and half months, and you're looking forward to starting your life together

Once you land in Incheon, and head back to your apartment in Hongdae. The apartment block is huge and part of a larger community. on the sight there is a gym, a small shopping complex, it's also located next to the subway. There is a reasonable sized park area where you can walk around and enjoy the trees and flowers. You like being outside, especially in spring and autumn.

Inside your block, there is a vase lobby with a concierge. the mail boxes are situated to the left of the reception desk and the elevators to the right. You take the elevator up to your floor. it's a smooth ride and only takes about a minute. there's a large window on each floor with a beautiful view of the city.

The keypad lights up but makes no noise at this time of night. When walking thru the entrance and living area, you see different sized boxes, 'did I not tidy those away the last time i was here?' you think, 'is that a tux?' That's when you check the bedroom and see DongJin sleeping in your bed. But next to him is a bride.

You snap a pic and leave. You don't know why. Maybe your eyes are playing tricks on you. You don't know why, but you record a video of how your house is. The paintings are the soft furnishings and the electronics. You see the laptop you gave him the phone you bought him before he left for service you pick that up too and leave. You say to the night guard that there will be someone by tomorrow to change the key code. you thank him for his work.

Catching a taxi is easy. You go to a hotel not too far from your apartment. Once inside, you scream. 'Shit, fuck, what the hell was that. ok Booze'

Once you get thru a bottle of whisky you sleep.

You wake with a fire inside your belly and a matching band in your head. You call your fa (finance advisor) tell them what's going on and they make a group call to their in house lawyer. DongJin still doesn't know he has been found out. The Lawyers smile can be felt through the voice call.

They set in motion a plan to cut him out of your life for good and fast but you have to leave for work or you won't be able to pay.

Back story

In primary school. Your teacher set your class up with pen pals. She, being from Germany and doing a yrs exchange, thinks this is a great idea, you all start writing to her other class back home.

This goes on for the year. Most of the class don't care about it but you love it. You learn German kind of fast. You send more than one letter to your new friend a month while the rest of the class barley get through the required one every 5 weeks.

Your family take summer vacations and the last few yrs it's been France. So you have made friends with some of the locals. you also write letters to them. its only natural for you to pick up their language as well.

Yip your one of those kids. You love learning.

By the time your sitting your exams in high school, instead of taking the broad subjects like a science or creative arts you focus on languages. Already you have the French and German certificates, that you sat in 1st and 2nd Yr. In 3rd and fourth year you added Spanish and Japanese. You love to challenge yourself and your teachers encourage it.

Now that your a little older and know what you want to do with your life, Instead of family vacations you spend holidays living with your dad's sister who lives in Norway. You gain entry to one of the colleges and spend 2 yrs there. Your now, Almost 19yrs old. You have 5 languages with the corresponding certifications at your disposal. You wanted to work at the un. Not because you particularly cared for the politics but you could do the job of 5

people so you were in demand. After a year you want to go exploring. So you take 2 yrs out. Go visit the countries and really learn the languages. Meeting many wonderful people. When In Japan you find a love for Korean cuisine and take a trip with some European friends. After 3 weeks doing the tourist thing you fall deeper for the country so spend 6months teaching and tutoring students.

Over the next few years you bounce around Europe, Japan and Korea. 2016 and your working in Germany on a contract for some business. It's boring at times and its really helping the company staff with their English pronunciations and spelling. the upside to this contract is, your closer to your family so can see them more. You miss your younger sister.

While there your friend Nicole calls you.

Surprised but happy you get to chatting.

"Hey babes, i have a favour to ask..."

[marisandini-chu-blog]

How Shadow and Bones Differentiate Villain and Anti-Hero

Alright, first I need to claim the fact that I love dark, edgy, but misunderstood bad boy in stories with the potential of epic redemption. Loki from Marvel. Jason Todd from DC. Captain Hook from Once Upon a Time. Zuko from AtLA. You name them, I simp them.

So when I watched this new show on Netflix and shown a tall, handsome man in dark clothing, both respected and feared for his power. I feel... nothing. 

WHICH IS WEIRD! Like... he’s obviously my type. Complete with the sad backstory and vicious streak. So I kept wondering why I wasn’t enamored by the Darkling, Alexander Kirigan. I wasn’t surprised he was the main villain, I even expected it. But I usually at least have a bit of sympathy for them. This OOC behavior of mine made me introspect myself and the show, trying to find out which part gave me the red flags before Mother Darkling decides to pop the chosen one out halfway in the season. 

That’s when it hit me; there were red flags! The show had been subtly trying to tell us Kirigan is a manipulative boyfriend not just by great acting and good directing, but by comparing him with the actual anti-hero of the story who I actually love; Kaz Brekker. 

Here’s the list of signs you might not notice of why Kirigan is meant to be a Villain instead of an Anti-Hero. 

1. The Eyes

"The eyes are the window to the soul" is a common saying and and the key to good acting for any good show. Eyes tell us a lot about what a person’s character is like and SaB showed us the difference of a sincere man and a man with a hidden agenda.

Look at him! Look at that little smirk. Look at the gaze. That's the look you find when someone's evil little plan is finally coming together. Not one awed by the power or by Alina. A blatant sus move is what I'm saying. Congrat, first flag planted.

Sure he could still fall in love with Alina, but that doesn't stop his agenda either. All it does is potentially create conflict for him to pick either his plan for revenge or life with Alina.

In comparison, look at Kaz when he said this to Inej; "She isn't like you, no one is." Straightforward eyes. Serious grim. No nonsense tone. Inej is one of the most talented and terrifying rogue-assassin and Kaz just blatantly said that he kept her from 'slavery' because of who she is, not what she's capable of. Like... the man has no shame being known to love her while still trying to be professional (or as professional a thief can be). I can respect that.

This is the eye of a man who would abandon everything to make sure she comes out alright in the end. Do not argue with me on this!

2. Leverage and Status

The moment Alina steps into the Little Palace she was treated like a princess. A palace, by the way, that’s managed by the Darkling. She gets favorable treatment; from the food, Zoya displaced when she fought Alina, a horseback ride just the two of them, asking her to call by his name to make them familiar, a black uniform that might as well be claiming???

Dude is desperate is what I’m saying. 

Sure, this could all be romantic gestures. There’s the problem that Kirigan is superior in status and name, powerful Grisha, and has a vested interest in her power. Pursuing romance while Kirigan has the ability to make her life heaven or hell with a snap of his finger made every single decision be seen with wariness. 

"Beware of powerful men," Genya couldn't put it any better.

Had they pursued romance after they destroy the fold, cementing Alina’s position as a saint more. Then I might have let go of that wariness. 

I’m only proven correct when the moment Alina turned away from him, Kirigan made another leverage by (spoiler!) putting an antler to her collarbone... eeeewwww much?! 

That’s how desperate the Darkling is to be in control of a person and a situation. 

And when no letter came for Alina? That a big red flag because who else in this castle can control the coming of going of letter with the Savior. HMMMMMMMMMMM.....

Then there’s Kaz. My man. There’s no competition. This guy held no leverage on my dear Inej. When she almost decided to leave, Kaz didn't force or convince her to stay but he ask her. Doesn't remind her of her debt whether monetary or life debt to him. In fact, this guy needs money for revenge but instead mortgage his main source of income for her freedom.

HE POSTPONED HIS LIFE GOAL TO FREE HER FROM DEBT ASJHAKFSDJGLDFJ!!!  

What more do I need to say? 

3. Sympathy Card

This is the type of point you want to watch out from your partners, ladies, gents, and others. The sympathy card is the way to go when anyone wants to reach out to you so you can take care of them before they abuse or gaslight you. 

While it’s good to share trauma and eased the burden, sometimes it's healthy to ask yourself whether the person can take advantage of you and to verify whether they lie to you or not.

When Kirigan shared about his past as a sympathetic boy with his secluded fountain and coin. Everything about that scene rang warning bells for me... the part he had requested her to use his color... requesting to horse ride with just them two... sharing sob story that may encourage Alina to help him...

Kudos to Alina to see through the fact she's seen as a means to an end.

It was only when Kirigan showed righteous anger and frustration of a war that's killing his people did Alina finally opened her heart to him.

Kaz however doesn't use the sympathy card. Heck, the man likes to believe he shed away any weakness and threw it in the harbor where it belongs. Kaz hates weaknesses. And garnering sympathy is an admission of weakness for him.

We still know there's a tragic backstory as any decent anti-hero would have... but by not sharing that, this implies that Inej and Jesper stayed because of who he is, and not because of who he was or how he came to be. They don't need a sob story to stay together and that showed a stronger bond between them.

4. Friends

To be frank, I find this the most hilarious because this point is the one that convinced me that Kirigan was secretly an evil bastard.

He doesn’t have any friends!!!

Like... dude had a literal witch army, a wife once, a fuck buddy, and a girlfriend but there wasn’t a single moment in the show where someone, outside of Alina and superior, to speak casually to him. 

You’re telling me this person... the most powerful and influential Grisha in the East Ravka, charming as hell, handsome as fuck, and yet he doesn’t have friends?! 

“I’ve buried good soldiers... friends...” Get the fuck out of here! WHAT FRIENDS?!?! Maybe if you get off your little power trip from your self-made pedestal, you can actually be less of an asshole and make one. 

Sure he excused himself by blaming his ‘ancestor’ for being a shadow summoner. I can see how the fear makes it hard for him to get close to anybody. But all the other characters who are part of his army only ever shown to speak with him respectfully, and the royalty even commend him. No one disrespected him even openly and you’re telling me he doesn’t have one friend amidst all these people?!

In comparison, look at Kaz. He’s brash, crude, and unapologetic. He held true to his moniker ‘Bastard of the Barrel’ and yet this ass has friends. They show Jesper joking with Kaz, and Kaz has shown to banter with him back as well as tolerating his gambling addiction when it could have jeopardized the Job. Inej was shown to actually argue and have disagreement with Kaz when he’s technically her boss. Can you imagine the Darkling doing that? CAN YOU?!

No. Because he's a pretentious ass. That's why.

This is a great example of the use “show not tell” of how Kaz despite his obvious edges has a soft spot shown through his relationship with Inej and Jesper, who have a friendly dynamic. I can attest that while Kaz didn’t create a good first impression, I love Jesper and Inej (they are precious!) so much that I project it to Kaz in extension.

On the other hand, Kirigan’s goodwill had only ever been told by outsiders or himself. None from his inner circle (which he doesn’t have!) other than his mother, who ended up outing him instead. 

So I applaud the writers and showrunners of SaB to actually have subtext signs of a manipulative bastard. The Duckling is a good villain character that's complex but unredeemable. Sometimes, you just have a good ol' charming villain you can't redeem and that's okay.

[masterjedilenawrites]

Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 4 (Blueberry Path)

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. Refer to this Masterlist for previous chapters and alternate paths.

Chapter 4: The Party (Blueberry Path)

Pairing: Thrawn x reader

Content: Light drinking, more pining

Length: 2.4k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The gala was as elaborate and ostentatious as you would expect of a formal event at the Imperial Naval Academy. It was like the whole ballroom shimmered as glasses of drinks were passed around and ornate dresses swished about in dance. You'd certainly never been a part of anything so grand from your home world before.

It was quite a sight, to be sure. But it still paled in comparison to the man who walked beside you.

You could feel the stares from the classmates and superiors around you as you moved deeper into the ballroom with your date. But you didn't let their open judgement get to you. You were proud to be on the arm of Mitth'raw'nuruodo. If anything, these pretentious Imperials should be envious of your connection to him.

You also tried not to let your own insecurities get to you. Occasionally you'd catch glimpses of yourself and Thrawn, reflecting off mirrors and windows. You'd thought you looked decent standing alone in front of your bedroom mirror. But next to him, you were so... plain.

"The music is quite pleasant," said Thrawn from beside you.

Part of the plan for the night was to substitute your targets for other subjects, so any potential eavesdroppers would be none the wiser to your true intentions. Anything related to music was to symbolize one half of the plan: Eva and Arden.

You saw the couple near the entrance, having just arrived a few minutes behind you. Eli was supposed to keep an eye on them, while you and Thrawn were tasked with Burdick. You internally shook yourself free of your complicated thoughts about the gala and your date, and instead turned your focus to the mission.

"Do you think Eli has noticed?"

"Yes, he seems to be enjoying it." Thrawn nodded across the room, where Eli was standing next to his date. He held a drink and was making a show of casually looking around, but you could tell he was paying extra attention to the entrance.

"And how about that assignment?" you asked. Burdick would be referred to by discussions of homework, another innocent topic. "Have you found your thesis for it yet?"

"No, I'm still looking into it," Thrawn said calmly.

You looked up at him to see his steady red eyes were mostly blinking politely at the faces that passed directly in front of you. Every once in a while, ever so subtly, they would flick elsewhere. A gap in the crowd. A far corner of the room. You even caught him looking at a tray of champagne glasses hovering nearby, casting a perfectly angled reflection of the space behind him.

Gods, he was so good.

"Is there something you wish to say?" he suddenly asked, catching you off guard as his eyes made their way to your own.

"No..." You struggled to find balance, not wanting to seem too dismissive or too dishonest. "I was... uh, just... watching you... watch... the room...."

Thrawn's left eyebrow quirked ever so slightly. Almost imperceptible to the untrained eye, but you knew it was a sign that he was amused.

"It would be far more productive if you were to watch the room with me," he stated. His eyes traveled to somewhere behind you and for a moment you thought he had finally found Burdick. But upon turning, you saw it was only a tall cocktail table that had opened up. Thrawn placed a gentle hand on your lower back and guided you toward it.

"Here. Now we can discreetly observe both directions," he said just low enough that only you could hear. He moved to stand opposite the table from you, and while he was right, your positions now covered both halves of the ballroom, you were finding it difficult to focus on your side when Thrawn was also in your view.

"Drink?" he asked, swiping two champagne glasses from a passing tray and placing them on the table before you had a chance to answer. Considering he didn't touch his glass after that, only resumed his scanning of the crowd with hands folded neatly in front of him, you knew it was more for show than anything.

But your nerves were on fire, and so you gladly took up your glass and downed most of it in one go.

"I have decided on my thesis for the assignment," said Thrawn as you clanked the drink back onto the table. You held back a burp as you casually looked over your shoulder to where Thrawn seemed to be looking. Commander Burdick was hovering by an hors d'oeuvre table, a small plate piled high with food in one hand, scowling at every person that passed him.

"Just the one assignment?" You turned back before the commander could notice you staring. You could've sworn you'd overheard during your recon that Burdick had found his own date.

"My last-minute arrangement," said Thrawn quietly, breaking from the code you were supposed to be using. "It occurred to me the commander may end up distracted by his partner, rather than focusing attention on Arden. Thus, I've arranged for his date to be delayed in arriving, possibly even too late to make it altogether."

You nodded and finished off your champagne.

"You're not impressed."

You looked up at him to find his eyes were inspecting you, searching for something. Approval? Praise? Surely not, not from Thrawn.

"Would you like me to be?" you side-stepped the question, mostly out of surprise.

"I don't do these things for clout," he stated plainly. "But I do value your opinion."

You blinked at him a few times, unsure how to process those words. To say you could count on one hand the number of opinions Thrawn valued outside of his own was an overstatement, as there would only be one finger up for Eli. You'd never dreamed you could be included in that count, too.

Thankfully you were distracted from having to come up with a response by the change in music to something much more lively. Several pairs of people excitedly moved toward the dance floor, including Eli and his date, and Eva and Arden nearby. You angled your head to see around Thrawn's body and watched them.

"The music is... uh... going well." You cringed at your own inability to find a way to incorporate the code. Thrawn casually followed your gaze, only sparing the two couples a second of attention before turning back to give you an amused smirk.

"And now we must do our part. With the homework."

He came around the table with an arm extended and gave you a wink. An honest-to-god wink. You thought you were surely going to collapse on the floor, but managed to grab ahold of his arm in time, allowing him to lead you away from the table.

"Commander," Thrawn's ever-calm voice raised in volume to address the man you were approaching. The Commander in question looked up from his food plate and somehow managed to scowl even deeper as he recognized who was addressing him.

"Well, well. If it isn't my favorite student," Burdick said dryly. Though he was a full two feet shorter than the Chiss, he still had an air of looking down on him. "I'm surprised you'd even come to an event like this."

"The Academy has provided a generous occasion tonight," said Thrawn evenly. "It would have been in bad taste for us not to attend."

It was only when Thrawn referred to you collectively that Burdick took note of your presence.

"Commander," you said with a polite smile that he was definitely not deserving of. "It is quite an evening. Are you enjoying yourself?"

Burdick scoffed slightly, which you took as his attempt at a laugh. He turned back to Thrawn as he responded with a grumbled, "Thoroughly."

"And where is your date, Commander?" Thrawn asked, turning to you slightly. "What was her name? Eva?"

You met Thrawn's eyes, and though they perhaps didn't seem much different than usual, you thought you picked up enough in them to understand his game. You suppressed a mischievous smile as you played along.

"Thrawn," you pretended to scold in a low voice, slapping his arm and giving Burdick an apologetic look. You could already see a vein bulging along the man's temple at the mention of her name. "I'm so sorry, Commander.... Thrawn, I told you they're not together, not anymore."

"Ah," the Chiss nodded solemnly. "That explains why I saw her dancing with a fellow classmate of ours."

He turned to cast a look at the couple in question, and to allow enough of a view for Burdick to see them on the dance floor as well. Arden was moving rather intimately with Eva, and though they were a distance away, you could still see the boy's eyes glancing over at Eli and Sadie just a few steps beside them. Your friend was putting on quite a show with Sadie, undoubtedly making Arden feel the need to one-up him with his own partner. How clever.

"Who is that?" you feigned ignorance, squinting your eyes just a little dramatically.

"I believe his name is Arden Fey," said Thrawn. "He is in our flight class."

The two of you watched the couple for just a few seconds more before simultaneously turning back to Burdick. The man's face was as flushed with annoyance as you'd hoped.

"My apologies, Commander," said Thrawn. "I did not mean to be inconsiderate. However, on that note, I have spotted another one of our professors. We really must acknowledge them. Please excuse us."

Thrawn gave a courteous nod as he began leading you away. The Commander only remained rooted to the spot, glaring at his ex as she continued to move provocatively with her new beau.

There did end up being another professor that you spent some time greeting. You tapped your fingers restlessly against your thigh while Thrawn engaged in their small talk, all the while sneaking looks behind you to track Burdick as he continued to fixate on the dance floor. When Thrawn eventually wrapped up, you were practically bounding after him as you went toward the veranda in the back of the ballroom.

"Oh my god," you finally let yourself smile, wide and excited. There were only a few people outside, most briefly checking on the view before returning indoors, and one pair who'd clearly been fooling around in the shadows and hurried away with frustrated looks as you and Thrawn went up to the balcony.

"I can't believe we're pulling this off," you were still gushing.

"You speak as if you had doubts about this evening," said Thrawn. He leaned against the railing beside you, an amused glint in his eyes as he watched your face contort in all its excitement.

"Not doubts, just..." you shrugged, not sure why you were so surprised, honestly. It's not like this was the first, or even the most complex, scheme of Thrawn's you'd been a part of. Maybe it was that glass of champagne, or your nerves from earlier that day resurfacing. "I don't know, it just feels good when a plan comes together."

Thrawn hummed, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before he looked away in thought. You let your gaze drift out, too, taking in the twinkling glow of the garden lights. There wasn't much impressive with that small patch of greenery in the daytime; most of the plants were imported and only minimally kept up by ungrateful horticulture students who just needed some extra credits for the year. But at night, there was enough shadow to pretend something interesting might be hiding out there. In fact, now that you thought of it....

"Oh, I heard they're bringing in some featherferns soon," you said, remembering you'd been meaning to tell him before all of this flight school drama came up. "One in the traditional violet, but the other is supposedly a pale yellow. Possibly a hybrid, or maybe sun damaged, they're going to have to study it to be sure. But they'll replace those awful garlic roses."

Whatever thoughts Thrawn had been consumed by were no longer important as he looked down on you with wide eyes. "I was not aware you were keeping tabs on the Academy's flora collection."

You threw him a little smile and a shrug. "Well, ever since someone taught me to appreciate it, I can't help but stay informed."

"I am glad," he said, turning to face you more fully. "And likewise, your enthusiasm for this evening also pleases me. Your good spirits are... infectious."

You gripped the balcony railing in order to steel yourself. Your eyes flitted about his face, once again unsure how to read it. Was he really smiling at you now, or was it your imagination playing tricks? A mere projection of the feelings you wished he had? You usually didn't mind the mystery that surrounded Thrawn; in fact, it was probably what drew you closer to him. If he chose not to show his thoughts and feelings, he did so for good reason, and you were free from the burden of having to interpret or address them.

But now it infuriated you. You needed to know what he was thinking. Where did his mind go every time you said something that caused him to look away? How strongly of a line had he drawn between your usual dynamic and the parts he was having you play tonight? Was he even conscious of the fact you were standing much closer than friends typically did in such a setting?

You shivered involuntarily. It was much cooler outside, but his gaze on you was also unnerving. The slight shake of your arms and the growing goosebumps on your skin did not escape his notice.

"You're cold," he stated.

Despite the truth of that statement, no sooner did he say it did your cheeks flush with warmth. Now you were wondering if he was going to offer you his jacket, picturing how warm it would be, how it would smell like him.

"We should return inside."

But obviously Thrawn's solution was much more practical. He moved away from the balcony and set his arm back in place for you to accept it. You cursed at yourself for letting your feelings get the best of you yet again today. Why were you doing this to yourself?

You took his arm and offered an easygoing comment to cover your silliness. "We should probably check on our assignment, anyway."

He nodded with what could've been another smile, but you were determined not to keep reading into it.

"Yes, we certainly should."

[acciocriativity]

Helpless||Harry Potter

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Summary: You are one of the students of the Beauxbatons commission and like the others you are determined to win the Triwizard Tournament but instead of the Goblet of Fire, you ended this season at Hogwarts with something better . 

Word Count: 2,0 k  

N / A: This story is based on the Helpless of the musical Hamilton and if you want, I recommend listening to the song along with the lyrics.

Part II 

Ooh, I do, I do, I do, I do (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)

Hey! Ooh, I do, I do, I do, I do (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)

 I have come to be known for some characteristics over the years. For most of my colleagues, determination and patience, but for my family and especially my sister, I was always going to be a hopeless romantic. 

But then we heard about the Tournament and I would have to concentrate fully if my name came out of the Goblet of Fire, so I decided to leave this side of me in France. But that change did not last more than a few hours. 

Boy, you got me helpless

Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit

 We were all sitting at the Ravenclaw table while the director finished announcing the Triwizard Tournament formalities and I couldn't be paying any less attention. From the moment I entered that room, a pair of bright brown eyes caught my eye. I couldn't help noticing the incredible amount of redheads on one table, but only one of them left me with a different feeling that I didn't know until now. 

Of course, I didn't spend much time looking. My goal here is very specific, I would not have time for distractions as my name could be called up tomorrow. 

- Of course, to travel to a swamp on the other side of the world, you're going to have to give up putting your name in the cup, right? - my sister asked in an irritated tone of voice and I had no idea why or what she was saying.

- Oh sure, I think it's a great idea, sis - I replied with a smile as I looked back at the director, but he was no longer standing - has he finished? Has he talked about the Yule Ball too?? - I asked, looking back at the older one. 

- Yes, why are you acting like this? Eat a little, I think the trip didn't do you much good - she replied with a worried tone, leaving the anger aside. 

I agreed to a nod and concentrated on the French food that had been kindly prepared for our arrival, but my eyes kept looking back at the table where he was one last time. 

I'm helpless

Down for the count, and I'm drownin 'in' on

 The next day, during the morning there was a circle of students around the Goblet of Fire but as soon as we arrived, they made room and then each one of us put the paper with our name in there. I chose to be the last in line, because I was in no hurry and for a single reason. He was there again. 

The same eyes, but now I could see more closely and without having to worry because it was not in my direction that they were. The boy was having a lively conversation with some other students and his own twin. 

After my turn passed, I walked over to where a friend was standing because I also wanted to see the rest of the competition, that's not exactly what happened. 

I admit it was a funny scene to see the two of them being thrown two meters out of that circle but at the same time, I was a little worried. 

I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight

We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night

 After a few months, we were finally at that ball that promised to be one of the best events of the year and perhaps the decade at Hogwarts. A lot of things changed in the meantime, the first was that I wouldn’t be the champion but I was vehemently rooting for Fleur, the second thing is that a minor had entered the competition and that turned this castle upside down and finally, I had managed to get close to that redhead. To be fair, me and Alexia. We both agreed that only an idiot would voluntarily sign up as a minor, this caught the attention of Harry Potter's friends and himself. 

In fact I learned his name, it's George, it's easy to tell when I can see his face. From the back, I don't have much of a guarantee and it's hard to see them standing still somewhere, so it's even more difficult for me that way. 

Laughin 'at my sister as she's dazzling the room

Then you walked in and my heart went, "Boom!"

 I had been invited by some boys before accepting to come with a student from Durmstrang, I confess that I hoped to be invited by George but I preferred not to risk waiting. 

I looked for my sister with my eyes and it was not difficult to find her, she was dancing with her own partner in the middle of the dance floor, impossible not to notice. They were even a beautiful couple, but I knew she was interested in someone else, I just didn't know who. Just as I hadn't told her about my feelings yet. 

My attention changed completely when I saw the door to the Great Hall open and the unaccompanied Weasley twins came in. My heart stopped for a second and I could feel it beat faster, some questions crossed my mind. I hadn't seen them before, did they come alone? Hope had returned. 

Tryin 'to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom

Everybody's dancin' and the band's top volume

 The slow song was over but I only noticed it when I saw the girl in front of me and then I smiled, trying not to lose sight of George but didn't go like that, since I was on the other side of the dance floor. 

- You were having fun out there, weren’t you?? - I asked with a smile, giving up looking over her shoulder, so I just focused on her face. 

- Yes, and where is your partner? You should be having fun too - she replied leaning against the wall beside me. 

- He said he was going to talk to his friends but so far he hasn't returned - I couldn't hide my indifference, because I never had to hide anything with her.  

Grind to the rhythm as we wine and dine

Grab my sister and whisper: Yo, this one's mine

- I know he wasn't your first choice, so who is it? I’m willing to know - his gaze left me and scanned the party full of people, looking for who could be right for me. 

- I wanted to make sure he was interested in me before I told you. It's George, from the first moment we arrived here for the first time - I didn't try to hide my smile or my passionate look when I finally found the redhead again. 

My sister made her way across the room to you (ooh)

And I got nervous thinking

"What's she gonna do?" (Ooh)

 In a moment, she was beside me with an expression I didn't recognize and a second later the brunette was walking towards the other side of the dancefloor. 

- Alexia, what are you going to do… - I didn't even try to speak out loud, because the music was incredibly loud for anyone but me to hear. 

To my horror, she walked towards the Weasleys and I

paralyzed. One of my sister's characteristics comes down to doing basically everything for me, I already knew that nothing bad could be in her intentions but that didn't relieve my nervousness. 

She grabs you by the arm

I'm thinkin ', "I'm through" (ooh)

Then you look back at me

And suddenly I'm helpless

 I couldn't look away even though I looked crazy to those outside, so the two stepped aside a few meters and I could hear my heartbeat increasing by the second. 

Would I like to be able to hear them? Certainly, but before I could think better about it. He looked directly at me. 

Oh, look at those eyes (look into your eyes)

And the sky's the limit

I'm helpless (I know)

Down for the count and I'm drownin '

Helpless (I am so into you)

 Few things in life have left me so nervous as that moment when George Weasley was walking towards me, with that smile on his face, the kind of smile I hadn't seen yet but perfectly matched his features. 

She accompanied him halfway and winked at me before returning to the dancefloor. I didn't know what to expect but I would thank her forever, if that was what my hopeless heart was telling me. 

Look into your eyes (I am so into you)

And the sky's the limit

I'm helpless

I know I'm down for the count

And I'm drownin 'in' in

 The night ended perfectly and I almost felt like it was fate, because his partner ended up dancing with my partner. So they didn't even care for a second about being "abandoned", not that I was going to let this opportunity just slip through my fingers. 

He was cute and kind, we danced and talked a little bit alone before going back to our friends. 

But this time it was different because we were never so close to each other, I couldn't help but notice his arm around my shoulder, making me stay even closer to him. 

That was my signal, the signal that this night meant something more to him too. 

One week later

I'm writin 'a letter nightly

Now my life gets better, every letter that you write me

 A week later, I had come to Paris with Ale to spend the Christmas holiday with our parents, but it didn't mean that we would lose contact. At that point it was past midnight when I was replying the letter I just received. 

The owl that brought it was barely able to flap its wings when it arrived here and as it was freezing outside, I left it in the cage with mine to rest. She drank some water and practically passed out, poor thing. 

- As I was saying, he really cares about you. Who wouldn't want someone like that? - she said after reading the letter I received. 

- You will find one of these soon, there is a whole group of boys waiting for the chance of their lives to show you that - I replied with a smile while thinking of the right words to answer, everything had to be extremely perfect.  

Laughin 'at my sister 'cause she wants to form a harem

I'm just sayin ', if you really loved me, you would share him

Ha!

- Yes, but still, it is not enough - she replied pouting but then smiled as if an idea had crossed her mind - we shared everything, why not that too? - She completed folding the letter and I just laughed. 

- That's the only thing we can't share in this life and you're too jealous to share someone - I replied laughing even more at the expression she made. 

- I'm going to sleep, just don't take too long to answer this letter, ok? Tomorrow we will all go out together, in case your little head has forgotten - she gave me one last hug before leaving, but I noticed that the light in her room was on for a while longer.

 Many other things happened afterwards, but my hand is hurting and my ink is running out, so I'll leave the rest for later, ok? I promise don't keep you waiting to know what's happens next. See you tomorrow, dear diary. 

Harry Potter Masterlist

[shra-vasti]

MAKES ME WONDER [4/40] The Escape

→ Synopsis : Your dream to attend a Seventeen concert was finally coming true but you weren't prepared for the events that were going to follow after Joshua made eye contact with you and chose to make you his partner for the mini game and take you out on a date as a winning prize.

→ Genre : fluff, slice of life

→ Type : Idol x fan au

→ Word count : 1.9k

→ Taglist : @mngyuheart @vannie24 @uglyratlmao @rjsmochii @dwcljh @noniesgirl (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist)

→ Pairing : idol!Joshua x fan!reader

→ Main Seventeen Masterlist

→ Makes Me Wonder Masterlist

You started walking towards where Joshua was standing, his back facing you as the cameraman told you to start. You stopped when you reached a proper distance and politely called him just the way the cameraman explained you to. 

He turned around shyly smiling at you as he bowed and you did the same following his lead. 

"You look good."

He smiled at you nodding his head unlike earlier when he just showered you with how beautiful you look. 

"Thanks, but I can't compare to you, you always look really good with or without makeup."

Joshua wanted to laugh at how the conversation was going, it felt so foreign, he had to bite back his smile to not appear too happy with your company although he was aching to scream just how alive he was feeling in your presence. 

"No no, all the carats are really beautiful, I hope you're ready for our date."

"Yes yes please lead the way." 

You were a shy person but the cameraman had asked you to be really flustered all the time and behave exaggeratedly everytime he did something and you wondered if they asked every fan to do this since you always see the other carats being so flustered in their presence. 

The cameraman had told that you were exceptionally calm about all this date thing and that you had to act flustered around him to which you reluctantly agreed. Maybe it was just you. 

Joshua opened the cafe's door for you like the gentlemen he was and you thanked him shyly before going past him to choose a seat. 

You chose a seat which was near the door, there weren't many people in the cafe since it was booked prior for the date. 

The waiter came asking what you wanted to order and both of you gave him the orders before turning towards each other to talk about things till the time your order came. 

"So y/n what's your favorite seventeen song?" 

"Ah this one is hard, I love all of the songs but vocal units songs hold a special place in my heart."

He grinned widely at your answer, feeling a sense of pride that he was a part of the vocal unit and somehow finding relief in the fact that you indirectly hold a special place for him in your heart. 

He mentally cringed at his own thoughts. 

"Is that so? Who's your favorite member then?" 

He didn't know why he was feeling so edgy about your answer, he could see your ears getting red as you fidgeted with your fingers. 

"I really adore BooSeokSoon."

You look up to see his face being an epitome of disappointment as he looked sharply at you before laughing at you. He wanted to keep being bitter about your favorite member being on the gag trio but he remembered that he was being filmed so he couldn't be as free with you. 

"Which is your favorite unit?" 

"Hiphop unit of course, they are so cool and they always have some of the most inspiring and savage lyrics to jam on."

He narrowed his eyes at you again not feeling happy with your answer and you just laughed. 

"I see you're a fan of the Hip hop unit, what about your favorite song to dance to since you're so good at dancing? Is it rocket?" 

"No it's swimming fool, the song gives me a different sort of adrenaline rush and I can't do anything but feel happy when it's on."

"Yah, you say you adore the vocal unit but your favorite members are Seokmin, Soonyoung and Seungkwan but then you say your favorite unit is hip hop but your go to song is swimming fool which is of the performance unit."

You just laughed at him, pausing for a second since your drinks were being served. 

"Shall I tell you a secret?" 

You whispered him but loud enough so it would get caught in the mic attached on your shirt. 

"What is it?" 

"You can't choose a bias in Seventeen, it's either take all or none, seriously, I want to give standing ovations to each of the carats who only have one bias in Seventeen."

The laugh which escaped his lips after that was like music to your ears and you couldn't help but be proud of yourself for being the reason behind it, you actually wanted to make him laugh more. 

"I feel bad for the carats then but happy at the same time."

You just smiled at him finishing up your drink when the cameraman informed you two have a 10 minutes break before continuing the filming again. 

"I'm so proud of you, you are doing great."

"Is that so? I'm really nervous though, I'm glad that I don't have to be surrounded by the cameras all day, I feel bad for you guys sometimes."

Joshua smiled at you but it didn't reach his eyes like it did, it was almost as if he was agreeing with you that it was indeed hard to be surrounded by cameras all the time. 

"Sometimes I feel jealous of others who live their life the way they want but I kind of signed myself up for this so I can't complain plus I love being with the boys and I love that we can be the inspiration for so many carats out there."

He wasn't sure why he was telling all of these things to you, he needed to be happy in front of his fans all the time but he didn't feel obligated to do so in your presence which eased him up and at the same time burdened him too. 

You were just a fan, this date was all a setup, nothing was real and he wouldn't see you ever after this or spend time with you the same but he still felt as if he wasn't doing anything wrong talking about his tension with you. 

You reached your hand to pat his which was on the table and give it a little squeeze, smiling a little at him. 

"It's hard and I'm so proud that you have come this far and not given up."

"I'm happy that I didn't give up too, otherwise how would I have met you?" 

You felt blush rise up on your cheeks again at his remark and he couldn't help but feel his heart doing weird things looking at you. 

He leaned back on his chair, looking at the ceiling before looking back at you. 

"I do wish I could have just one day where I could live life as freely as possible, it's just an impossible dream but I want to if I could."

You weren't sure if you would sound creepy or crazy but you couldn't help yourself and playfully suggested the first thought that came into your mind after hearing his wish. 

"Why don't we do that then? Let's escape."

He looked at you, eyebrows creased without saying anything, he looked like he was contemplating. 

"Let's do it."

You straightened your back as soon as those three words left his mouth. Was he serious about it? You suggested it to him in a playful manner. 

"What if you get punishment for it later? The last thing I want is for you to go through any rough time because of this."

You looked in the direction of the cameraman and his assistants who were busy going through the clip which both of you had filmed earlier. 

"Well it would be adventurous and I don't mind getting a handful of scolding in return of my wish, I would be smiling from ears to ears even if I'll get the scolding."

The excited look which he wore on his face was enough for you to oblige to this mundane idea, you wanted to see him happy and if you had to help him for that, you didn't mind getting into trouble, at least you would be happy to make his wish come true.

"Okay, if that's what you want, let's do it."

He smiled widely before getting in the stance of running before you stopped him. 

"On the count of three and we will make a run towards the left side of this cafe since I know some small streets which will lead us to a different part of this city and others won't be able to track us down for a while."

He nodded his head at you already feeling the adrenaline running in his veins way too exciting. 

"One, two, three, run."

He took one look at the busy cameraman and his assistant before holding your hand and making a run outside of the cafe and into his one day freedom.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"What do you mean by he ran away from the filming set with his fan?" 

Seungkwan heard his manager yell behind the door as he motioned the rest of the members to come towards him and listen to the conversation going on behind the door. 

"So you want to say he was talking with that fan and you were busy monitoring the clip and then when you went to explain to them about the further scene they disappeared and you tried looking for them but no one could find him or the fan?" 

The members looked at each other, their eyes widened unable to believe what they heard was true. 

"What am I going to tell PDnim? Of course I'm not going to tell him about this, he will cut my head off this isn't funny, he doesn't even has his phone with him, I know he'll be back all we can do is just wait, but I swear will give him an earful when he returns, I didn't expect this from him."

There was a long pause as the members exchanged looks with each other worriedly, what was going inside Joshua's mind to run away like that? Didn't he care about his image? Sometimes they couldn't understand their own member's antics. 

"I won't let this matter go up to PDnim, let's just tell him that we only shoot a short clip for the documentary because we were going to show a very little part of the date so it wasn't necessary for them to have a long date."

The door opened as all of the members stumbled inside the room and onto each other. 

"Yah Boo Seungkwan get off me!"

"Sorry Jeonghan Hyung but Jun Hyung is on top of me I can't."

"Lee Seokmin stop kicking my face!"

"I'm sorry I'm just trying to get up."

The manager just sighed before helping the members up, giving them a tired look as they waited for him to say anything. 

"Joshua ran away from the cafe he was supposed to have a date with the fan but both of them ran away and now everything is just a mess, he doesn't have his phone with him so we can't contact him, I know he'll come back soon but I'm going to scold him, he's one of the eldest he should be responsible and Seungcheol I want you to talk with him about this too."

"What goes inside his mind?" Seungcheol mumbled massaging his head, all of this information already giving him a headache. 

"If I was in his place I would have run away with her too, she's beautiful."

Everyone just glared at Seokmin who suddenly found a newfound interest in his shoes. 

"Let's just ask him about his adventure when he comes back, we all know he may have taken the chance to ease up his mind a bit, Joshua is responsible so he wouldn't do anything to ruin the group's image, let's go and relax,we don't get such free time frequently."

Everyone nodded their head at Jeonghan's word, retreating back to their respective rooms. 

[a-woman-apart]

Watch "I'M BACK! WHY I LEFT YOUTUBE FOR TWO YEARS!" on YouTube

This scared me so badly, because this is EXACTLY what happened in my life, except it was all in The Reverse.

I graduated with an Associate Degree in Music Performance in 2018, but instead of running TOWARDS my dream/calling I ran hardcore AWAY from it. My pride in graduating only lasted a month before I declared myself Utterly Unmarketable and sought to go after a "real degree" and get a Big Girl career.

Between 2018 and 2020 I had major life changes.

My dad died of stomach cancer

I broke up with my neglectful boyfriend

I turned down a Full Ride to a major college

I hospitalized myself for Suicidal Ideation (Sept 2019)

I quit my job of 5 years

I started working for my best friend and became her Office Manager

I started dating the Love of my Life

I lost my friend group and peer support

I lost my mind and left college due to COVID-19 (but not before making one of my best decisions in taking a Screenwriting class because I WANTED not NEEDED it)

Started distancing myself from the toxic women in my life and definining Womanhood/Adulthood for myself

Visited my brother's grave after over a decade of waiting and got closure

Fully acknowledged my childhood trauma/abuse

Rediscovered my sexuality

Was disowned by who I erroneously thought was a close friend of 17 years over my political views

Joined and exited Unity2020

Turned in my car for repossession

Spent a week in the hospital after having a severe, paranoid psychotic break, but came out completely free of the vice of self-consciousness I was living under

You know what is nuts? I feel in many ways, I have completely reverted to who I was in the summer of 2011. I was off my meds, and it WAS mania, but personality-wise, the tempestuous, gum-chewing, cigarette-puffing, flirtatious, humorous, free-spirited ball of fire that drove all the way to Colorado on a whim wasn't rebellious, SHE WAS ME.

I just wasn't Me around the right people, and it wasn't the Right Time.

My inner Sagittarius moon would remain in a dormant state for almost a full decade. I would spend the next 9 years heavily sedated, sleepwalking through life, only alive at The Sound of Music.

It was Torture to feel so much but be afraid to express myself. I had to Hide while doing a major that demanded that I Command Attention. I am by nature "dramatic", "theatrical", "emotional", "expressive" but that part of me was so suppresed that I was frequently told I sang with excellence but without emotion.

Aside: During my 2011 manic episode, I spoke a lot about Doppelgangers. Without going into excessive detail, this is a German word that means "Double" and it is considered bad luck to encounter yours.

In the past 2 weeks, I have encountered people that look/sound like me (Josephine is Nigerian-Canadian and I am Nigerian-American and I kept thinking about her work even though I initially disagreed with her lot) and a woman with my name (different spelling) who was NOTHING like me and I also think might've had malice in mind for me.

I was DEFINITELY an agnostic atheist when I started this year, but as a result of undergoing so much weird shit I almost certainly believe in God, and yes, "God is a Woman." (More on that later)

Also, I realized that I really DID, as many teenage girls, "lose interest in math and science" but that was because of the terrible, unfactual way it was presented in my homeschool curriculum and by my mom, who was a Math major but whose disinterested detachment made every algebra lesson an excercise in torture.

I have always loved biolology and anatomy and I remember so much more chemistry than I thought. Geology class in community college was amazing and also helped me understand-- even more than the Theory of Evolution-- why young earth creationism was completely impossible.

As for math, I spent 15 years thinking it was my greatest weakness when I have had to use arithmetic in cashiering, my managerial work, and my monthly budget for the last 7 years. Also, as annoying as it was to hear constantly, my mom parroting "What you have to do to one side, you have to do to the other" (but in reverse) gave me the ability to do Algebra quickly and (mostly) effortlessly. I could never get A's, but I got a B in Quantitative Mathematics with no real help aside from occasional teacher input and the "Help me solve this" function of MyMathLab.

Here is where it Gets Weird. I am a Creative. I have been writing stories since I was 6 years old. I have loved Story all my life. My parents were in math and science fields and they completely lacked any creativity. COMPLETELY. It was part of why they were so religiously rigid, authoritarian, and draconian. There was no room for spontaneity or childish imaginativeness.

Looking back, I had major sensory and processing issues. I was likely speech delayed, I learned to read late, and I recently confirmed that when I am stressed my dyscalculia kicks in bad (it IS real). Numbers and symbols get really interchangeable (like an 8 and infinity symbol become kinda the same) which is why I had to recite phone numbers out loud to remember them or write them on colorful backgrounds so I can see them in my head as an image. Also explains my aversion to math but my ease with fractions (1/2 is half a sandwich, etc).

My spatial awareness is also shit when stressed. Before I turned in our car, I had earned the nickname "U-turn" from my boyfriend because on that Floating Death Machine left and right got completely crossed, frequently.

By the way, I struggled with right and left until I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. I literally didn't understand the concept of a mirror and 3D space, meaning that the basic understanding that my right is someone else's left didn't come into play until I had an argument with my [now-deceased] brother about it.

What is so weird, is that because of years of correcting for these issues, my sense of direction, ON FOOT is good, if not better than most people. Also, once I realized that, given the opportunity, I very much do whatever I can with my left-hand, and that my hearing is MUCH better than I even thought, I am far less clumsy. Depth perception is still crap, but that is probably also because I was forced to spend years without the glasses I needed (and got earlier this year after living with chronic eye strain)

When I talk about these "issues" it is in line with female autism, but you know what? If really do have adult autism, then I am a Complete Boss because I have pwned that ho.

After being rehospitalized, a kind nurse suggested I may have PTSD and suggested medicine for insomnia and nightmares. It was extremely helpful. I had been looking into C-PTSD for a while, because I didn't think I had "suffered enough" to have "real" PTSD. But that isn't how diagnoses work.

Btw, I still have Bipolar I, Psychotic Features. Another kind nurse told me I don't need anti-psychotics, and no, I don't. I was given Zyprexa by a bitch nurse and it was like getting drunk. I stumbled the halls, almost fell over (possibly did) and woke up with a neon "Fall Risk" bracelet. Anti-psychotics also fucked up my menstrual cycle for years and I have had lingering hormonal isssues. Haha no thanks.

Anyway, I digress. Of course I am fucked up. I lived under family members who questioned my reality, attempted to crush my dreams, threatened me with physical punishment any time I behaved in non-neurotypical ways, violated my rights and interfered with my treatment even though I was a full legal adult, undermined my relationships, tortured and socially isolated me, etc., all under the guise "of knowing best."

In minority cultures, our darkness hides in plain sight, and ESPECIALLY in the Bible Belt, with its supeestition and idolization of familial hierarchy/patriarchy, victims of financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse have no where safe to turn. The Long Arm of the Law is often Short when it comes to "breaking up the family", and women and children are victimized openly with little to no intervention.

On top of doing my Creative Work, I plan to create legislation to make sure that what happened to me and my siblings isn't allowed to go unpunished. We lost my older brother, and I almost died, too, but Enough is Enough.

The Time is Now.

P.S. If Josephine is an Air Nomad I identify as a Water Bender. I basically have no water in my astrological chart, but water signs bring me great comfort in times of need (and make bad romantic partners for me obviously)

Also, this is one Bad Biyatch.

I also found out I am an ISFJ, not INFJ. Yep. Gonna be a Playwright and Director. I want to be a part of the action, not just writing about it.

[angellesword]

Silver Dust

Summary: Yoongi proposed to you and you're contemplating whether to say yes or no.

Pairing: Songwriter Yoongi x Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Fluff, fluff, and fluff.

Word count: 6.7k

Warnings/ author's note: I wrote like a whole ass song using Cypher pt.4 beat lmaooo, kissing, minor smut, mention of rape, abuse, killings, and corruption.

<<< The first meeting >>>

The first time you met Yoongi's eyes wasn't really that special.

There was no sign of your heart skipping a single beat, if there was, you're 100% sure he's not the reason behind it because 1) you pretty much believed it's just the effect of drinking three shots of espresso in one sitting. 2) You were damn nervous since your prelim grades were already out.

You didn't even feel any butterfly in your stomach, nor did your world light up—and this, to be honest, was understandable, especially when Yoongi's eyes were dead as fuck. You figured that if it wasn't for your shared seven am class, he would probably still be lying in bed.

"The professor said you're my partner for this project." Even the first time you heard his voice wasn't special.

If there's one thing that made Yoongi Yoongi, it's his monotonous voice. At first, you thought he just didn't like the idea that you two were stuck together to work on a project. (Again, it's understandable) You also found it ridiculous that your professor actually paired you with a stranger.

Well, it's not like you knew Yoongi. Unless knowing his full name counted. But really, it's inevitable since the two of you went to the same classes since freshman year (you're a senior now) apart from that, almost all your professors never failed to voice out their adoration for him.

You first heard his name when your history instructor made it very clear that Min Yoongi's works would be his "standard" when it came to grading your individual projects. In short, if Yoongi got an A, you and your classmates should also either get an A or an A+ or else, you're considered 'failed.'

It’s kind of fucked up, really. Most of you knew that Min Yoongi was a monster when it came to collecting As. Unfair. All he did during class lectures was sleep and yet, he still managed to be number one.

Huh. It must be awesome to be God's favorite.

There was also this one time when one of your professors, Mr. Bang, cried when he asked Yoongi to read his essay in front. The smart boy was reluctant at first. He despised exposure, that's for sure. However, the professor's so persistent that Yoongi obliged just to make the annoying instructor shut up.

You're actually glad Mr. Bang managed to persuade Yoongi. His speech about finding yourself and being happy made Mr. Bang and almost everyone in your class cry. Yoongi transformed into a completely different person the moment he started his speech. Monotonous Voice? Gone.

You figured that yes, your heart didn't skip a beat when you first caught his eyes, but boy did your heart hurt when those simple words leaving his mouth turned into a piece of art.

<<< Your one brain cell >>>>

The second time you met Yoongi's eyes was in front of his house. The two of you decided to work on your project at the school's library, however the place was loaded with students cramming their paper works and you just couldn't bear to hear another person aggressively typing on their laptop anymore. You were sick of it.

"Uh, hi?" you awkwardly smiled at the blond man in front of you.

You weren't quite sure how to react when he was just staring at you blankly. Yoongi's lips were pursed together and that alone made you uncomfortable.

"We were supposed to meet at the library..." He raised his brow as if he wanted to know how the hell did you know where he lives? And were you a fucking stalker?

"I..." You instantly trailed off when he narrowed his brow more. Man, he sure was intimidating. The lack of spark in his eyes made you wince. The man in front of you had thick, low set brows—making them appear almost completely straight. (Poker face alert)

You swallowed the thick lump in your throat before trying to form a coherent sentence.

"There...people. I mean, the library is packed with uh, people."

"So you just decided to show up in my house?"

His question made you quiver. This was such a wrong move. Of course you couldn’t just knock on his door like this; you two were not even friends!

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know any other place and I..." You heaved a deep sigh. "I saw your friend Jeongguk and he told me where you live—“

"Right." He cut you off by opening the door wide. Of course it had to be Jeongguk. That little shit really knew how to annoy Yoongi.

"Holly peed on the couch so there's no way we can work there. Is my room okay to you?" Despite not seeing his face, you instantly knew that Yoongi's question was directed at you. He was leading the way inside his house and you're behind him, quietly following where he's going.

Yoongi's house was not that big, but it's a lovely and comfortable place. Unlike your dorm, you felt at home here. It's probably the indoor plants that made the place more alive. You suddenly wondered if he's living with someone. Did the love of his life stay here? Or did he have a roommate? You're adamant that he lived alone; otherwise all these plants would probably be dead.

You weren't really a judgmental person, you're rather logical. Yoongi slept during class hours; he couldn't be bothered by moving a single inch, too. You guessed that he hated any form of activity and maybe, that included watering plants.

You were about to ask him if he lived alone when your voice had been overpowered by loud, boisterous bark.

"Oh! Hello there, little guy..." A giggle escaped from your lips when a small dog went your way to lick your exposed legs.

You squatted in front of the puppy so you could pet his furry head.

"Holly, no!" Yoongi called the attention of the brown poodle, but it couldn't care less. The dog named Holly still continued to ask for your affection.

"Holly!"

You almost whined when Yoongi took Holly away from you. You're sure the puppy hated it too. But Yoongi told you that his pet needed to learn his lesson first. The naughty dog really peed on the couch right after his bathroom training. Yikes!

Yoongi let you inside his room after your little encounter with Holly. The vibe of his room contradicted the overall theme of the house, but you had expected it to be this way nonetheless.

His bedroom walls were painted dark blue, too dark it's almost close to black. There's nothing much in his room except a single bed, a study area with lots of technical devices, and oh!

Amusement danced in your eyes when you noticed different manga books on his shelf. You didn't think that Yoongi was the type of person who would dwell on such things, but what really caught your attention was his album collection.

"You like Epik High!?" you couldn't help your enthusiasm when your eyes found the band's album called Shoebox resting on the black metallic shelf near his bed. Damn. Shoebox was your best-loved album of all time! You liked all songs by Epik High, however nothing could ever top the said album for you. Your ultimate favorite song had to be Amor Fatti. That song slapped, though its meaning was often misunderstood by many.

Yoongi only spared you a few glances from the moment you showed into his house, this time, however, he was looking at you intently and for the first time, you saw him smile, a shy one at that.

"Yeah...they're the reason why I write songs..." He whispered, too soft you barely heard it.

You even blinked. Did you hear him right?

"Oh, you're a songwriter?" You flashed a loop-sided smile that made Yoongi's cheeks red.

"Uh, well...it's just what I like to do during my free time."

You nodded and hummed, your eyes were still busy roaming around his room when an idea popped in your mind.

"So why don't we make use of your talent and write a song for this project?" You caught Yoongi's eyes again, but this time, it didn't look dead, truthfully, his pupils dilated when he heard what you just said.

You instantly defended your suggestion.

"I mean, we don't really have a plan, and now we have. I think you're pretty good at it so it'll make our jobs easier. I can sing, don't worry..."

You hated saying that, though you didn't have a choice. You needed to convince him that producing a song would be such a good idea.

Your professor said you needed to make something, anything that would elicit a reaction from him and your classmates. This was a psychology class and your topic for midterm was all about emotions. Mr. Kim Seokjin, your professor, was tired of doing all the talking, especially because your class was unresponsive, so to save his voice (and brain cells probably) he told the whole class that the remaining meeting for midterm would be about his students showcasing their talents that wold, like what you had said, gain extreme emotions from your classmates. It's actually easy except that you're paired with someone you were not close with. On top of that, the presentation of the project shouldn't exceed ten minutes, and lastly, it should be personal.

You spent days thinking about what you and your partner could do, but your brain cells weren't cooperating since you only had two of it, the first one was sleeping and the other only knew the words "Nothing, bitch."

And so now that your former brain cell decided to wake up and save you from your misery of being stupid (even if it's just for good three minutes) you're willing to take it.

Before your 180 seconds ran out, you immediately started blabbing words to convince Yoongi to produce a song with you.

And guess what? Your convincing power must be really good (or maybe you're just as annoying as Mr. Bang and Yoongi just wanted you to shut up too) but hey, at least Yoongi agreed!

<<< Weirdo >>>

The third time you met Yoongi's eyes—well, it's not really the third time. You had actually lost count on how many times your eyes locked with each other. Sometimes, it's a conscious act, but most of the time, it's not. You guys would just find yourselves staring into each other's eyes when you didn't know what lyrics to write next.

Producing a song was not as easy as what you thought it would be. It had been three weeks since the two of you started this project. Yoongi's room had been your workplace ever since. He had the equipment you needed plus it's easier to meet here since your dorm was just meters away from his house.

"My damn throat hurts like hell!" You groaned before collapsing on top of Yoongi's bed.

The past three weeks you spent with Yoongi made the two of you start a beautiful friendship. Admittedly, it's not really beautiful since most of the time; you're bickering at each other. You and Yoongi were so different from each other. He liked starting his work early because he wanted to finish it early. You, on the other hand, were his exact opposite. You're the play now, work later type of person and Yoongi hated it so much. While he practiced delayed gratification, you sat there and ruined everything.

You were always on his bed, cuddling his pet Holly. That's most likely the reason why it's only been two days since you two finished the song. It took almost three weeks because of your procrastinating ass, and now, you suffered. The two of you only had a week before you performed this in front of your class. Yoongi was pissed off at you for the reason that you still hadn't finished memorizing the lyrics and your voice was already strained.

“If I ever see you drinking cold water again, I will fucking drown your ass on that water as I behead you, and then I will freeze your head." Yoongi warned as he joined you in bed.

"Ohhh, morbid. I like that..." You shrugged your shoulders and then you buried your face on his chest—making him groan in irritation.

"You weirdo, get away from me!"

"No..." You laughed because Yoongi was the weird one here. He told you not to touch him or stay close to him, but at the same time, he's wrapping his arm on your waist.

You wondered if this was okay, it's just been three weeks since the two of you had been formally introduced, and yet, you found comfort here. On his bed. In his arms.

You smiled to yourself, yes, Yoongi was a weirdo, but so were you.

<<< Namjoon’s Party >>>>

What you considered as the fourth time you met Yoongi’s eyes was also the first time he called you by your given name.

“You feel so good…” He moaned your name on your neck, his hands were tightly wrapped around your waist—enjoying your body heat.

You suddenly thought if dragging Yoongi into this party was the best idea. Right now, you had no freaking clue how to act. You’re drunk, but not too drunk to not think about the consequences of this night. But damn, you’re just a human. A horny human! How could you possibly stop Yoongi when he’s using his soft lips to paint bruises on your neck!?

You could just push him away and you knew that, though you were also aware that your mind and heart wouldn’t want that, not when you liked what he’s doing to you.

“Namjoon’s party sucks.”

“Just not your crowd, weirdo...” You chuckled. Oh, thank heavens for Namjoon. He was one of your childhood friends and frankly, the song you and Yoongi produced wouldn’t be finished without the help of Namjoon. So when that friend of yours texted you to come to his birthday party, you immediately agreed. Fortunately, you didn’t have to force your one brain cell to wake up just so you could convince Yoongi to go with you.

This wasn’t what Yoongi likesd he hated parties because he didn’t want to talk to stupid people and drunken people were stupid people. Perhaps the only reason why Yoongi was here was because he couldn’t turn down Namjoon—not after all your friend’s genius advice.

“I hate this place.” Yoongi added, he’s now looking at you with sparks in his eyes—or maybe you’re just drunk. Too intoxicated to feel and see anything other than the fact that Yoongi’s already grinding at you.

You huffed; suddenly offended by the clothes you’re wearing. Were you supposed to wear this when all you wanted was to feel Yoongi’s touch on your bare skin?

“We’re here for Namjoon—”

“God, can’t you take the hint?” Yoongi cut you off by pouting.

You blinked. Did this weirdo just pout? And oh, his lips…his lips were hot….hot against your own mouth.

“Yoongi….” You breathed, your eyes were too hazy to see his gummy smile.

“Let’s get the hell out of this place…”

That night, you once again lost count as to how many times you met his eyes. You also figured out that his eyes looked best the most when he’s down on his knees, facing your hips.

<<< The Performance >>>

You were expecting to meet Yoongi’s eyes as soon as you opened your very own one; however panic and fear consumed your whole being that you immediately ran out of Yoongi’s room. You’re too frightened to let him see you that you hurriedly put your clothes on and left his house.

It’s not like it was going to change the fact that you slept with your classmate in Psychology, however, you were scared. Scared to see his eyes back to being dead when just last night, the moon and the stars were there, staring at you like you’re not just a dust in this universe, but the whole universe.

Besides, you had one logical reason: you needed to pick up your costume for your upcoming performance with Yoongi. Taehyung, your designer friend was only available till nine in the morning, so you literally had to run like a lunatic right after you woke up from your cozy sleep on Yoongi’s bed.

Your outfit was perfect. Damn, Taehyung really had a talent when it came to this. Your confidence level was boosted just by wearing the clothes your great friend designed. You thought you’re finally ready to perform the song you and Yoongi produced for one month.

You were so ready, but your heart was not…

Just…where the hell was Yoongi? It had been two days since you last saw him. You hadn’t heard any news from him since you left his apartment the day after Namjoon’s party. Was he mad at you for leaving? Or did he even care?

You had fifteen minutes left before Mr. Kim Seokjin, your psychology professor, marked your grades zero.

“Fucking Min Yoongi, where the hell are you?” You grimaced when your call was directed on his phone’s voicemail.

You had two options: fake death so you wouldn’t have to perform, or kill Mr. Kim Seokjin. (They wouldn’t probably notice if you stabbed your professor on his side since most of them were busy preparing for their own presentations.)

But just as you’re about to resort to your latter option, Yoongi’s familiar scent immediately attacked your nose. You looked back only for you to cancel killing Mr. Kim Seokjin and just choose your former option.

God, how could it be possible for you to still want to stay alive when Min Yoongi was killing you with his looks? Gone was his light blond hair, but you’re not complaining since his now black curly hair was much much better than the previous one.

“Sorry I’m late. Holly peed on the couch again…” His multiple earrings looked too damn good on him. You’re silly; you’re fucking silly because you worried for nothing. Yoongi was still Yoongi, and the sparks in his eyes were still visible.

“It’s okay, we still have time…” You smiled as if the thought of murdering your professor didn’t just cross your mind. Oh well, nothing else mattered when Yoongi was here, right?

Mr. Kim Seokjin said that you and Yoongi would be the last performers for this day, which meant you still had at least half an hour left to stare at Yoongi like a vampire wanting to drink blood. But time flies fast when you’re busy with something. Thirty minutes ago, you were just ogling at your partner, right now, you were in front of the class, spitting fire with your partner.

The first verse of your produced song was rapped by Yoongi. Scratch that, Agust D was in front of you and not Yoongi. Your partner told you that he preferred to be called Agust D whenever he was performing his rap song.

Robber! Robber!

Sorry bae

Killer! Killer!

Sorry bae

Addiction—diction--diction

Sorry bae

“Oh! The court’s case you got away?”

Your partner smirked before proceeding to the next verse. You, on the other hand, stood there to hype the crowd.

You always get away

I’m sorry bae

You smoke cocaine but get away

Justice won’t be served

I’m sorry bae

Everything, everything, everything

Unfair

You were nervous. The next verse was assigned to you. The plan was that you only had to sing the chorus part, though Yoongi had another idea. He wanted you to go out of your comfort zone and try something new. So here you were, rapping.

You commit the same sin

Sorry bae

Your silence they love it

Sorry bae

I see same pigs on the senate

Boring bae

Your vote they bought and they’re not

Sorry bae

Nothing’s new but rich people’s car are

Brand new

Sorry bae

You can’t be illiterate coz they take advantage

Before you know it, you’re one of the reasons

Why innocents are salvage

Politicians know your name

But after the election they act like they don’t know your name!

You and Yoongi both performed the chorus part. It looked like the crowd was enjoying your presentation because they also started shouting and hyping you up.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

Youth wake up, stand up, we should fight the state! Brr!

The following verse was rapped by Yoongi again. You took your time to feel yourself as you discreetly watched the reaction of the people in front of you. A whole month of stress and worry seemed to pay off. You even locked eyes with Park Jimin, one of your most-respected classmates; he cheered for you and that was enough for you to successfully perform the next verse.

I wanna get job (job, job, job)

But I can’t get on the spotlight

Yeah I wanna have a good life!

But my parent’s wings are cozy

I just wanna hide

It’s okay I have time

My trust fund won’t end

So I can still live

And breathe while I finish this game

Called being “dependent”

All night, all day

All night, all day

Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care!

The next verse was easy to execute since you and Yoongi both rapped it. You were facing each other and suddenly, you forgot that there were eyes watching you. Min Yoongi caressed your cheeks once. You smiled as you sensually rolled your body.

Who plays by the rule?

No one!

Who wants to grab a woman's hair?

Husband!

Yoongi slightly pulled your hair this time. You grimaced, but you still continued rapping.

He has mistress so the wife’s depressed

He forgot about their kids but that’s okay

She can cover up for him like how

She can cover her bruise and play cool

As she says “I love him, anyway.”

You moved away from your partner. Your mood instantly changed as you approached the next verse. This one’s challenging to write. Your heart was breaking as you sang.

The other woman on the street has been pulled

By the stranger claiming she’s wet like a pool

She should be thankful since this will feel like

a dream come true

Lick it lick it right, you can take it, right?

She cried and cried and cried, that should be a sign

But “High five!” he told the other man

As the woman cried, her voice is too loud

So they killed her that night.

You let out your frustration by growling and jumping. Min Yoongi was also lost in his own world as he rapped—raising his middle finger from time to time.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

You’re horny, you fucked up! Go on and hate yourself! Brr!

It’s Yoongi’s own verse again. His mood shifted too. If you weren’t part of this performance, you would probably just stare at him. Goddamn, Min Yoongi had his own way of expressing himself.

Back back to the killings!

Your guns check

Call me when you need a gunman I can kill

Even for a dollar

Hashtag no conscience

I don’t believe in God so hell sounds okay

I’ll be with my gang gang

So hell won’t be boring!

The demon you summon

so money won’t be your worry

Payday, paycheck so I can have that rolex

He pointed the rolex on his wrist. It’s not an authentic one, but that’s not the point. Clearly, he just wanted everyone to see that there were other ways to “look cool.” However, many people still chose to listen and be their own demons.

Click clack to the bang bang

Your time has run out.

Click clack here’s my gun

I’m so high on drugs

I see you as a rat

They can control me with money

So you take these four shots

Your life is like a fruit fly

“I can’t understand. Why is it so easy for them?” This was Min Yoongi’s question to you. He asked this while you two were writing the following verse. He hated a lot of things, though he could forgive and tolerate some of it easily. However, he clearly told you that he could never treat someone right if that person used violence.

Click clack to the bang, you and you

Wait your turn

Shit! You little boy

Come here look at the blood

How? You’re asking me?

I don’t know, you’re a man you should know how

He also told you how much he hated this unfair world. He respected women more than ever, but Yoongi was an advocate of both equality and equity. Why can’t boys cry? Are we robots? These were some of his questions too.

If this is the kind of world we live in

I don't wanna live at all

If I exist for your pleasure

then I refuse to accept this call

You joined Yoongi singing the last verse of the song.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

Yo’ human, are you human? If yes then help us save this place!

By the time you finish the song, everyone’s clapping their hands and cheering for you and your partner. You swore you even saw Mr. Kim Seokjin wrote “100” on your paper.

You smiled. The performance was over, contrarily, the attraction you felt for your partner was only starting.

<<< Kimchi and Other Sauces >>>>

The first time you met Yoongi’s pleading eyes was during dinner time. After your performance in Mr. Kim Seokjin’s class, your partner said that the two of you should celebrate this success. Of course you immediately agreed, but that did not mean you were willing to spend money.

“I swear to God, Yoongi…if you ever bring me to a fine-dining restaurant, I will fucking kill you.”

You were not joking. You had student loans to pay so you couldn’t afford to spend a hundred dollar for a fucking spaghetti and sparkling water.

“Chill, you weirdo. We can just—” He stopped mid-sentence because a brilliant idea just popped into his mind.

“What? You’re not planning a yacht dinner date, are you!?” You started freaking out and the uneasiness you felt only intensified when Yoongi smirked.

“Actually, I was planning to…you know…maybe…make you eat my cum.” He simply shrugged his shoulders.

He said it so casually that you just stared at him. Was he serious or were you supposed to be laughing now? You could feel your blood rushing. You were so confused. Excited. Worried.

After what it felt like forever, the staring contest with Yoongi finally ended. He offered his hands and of course, you immediately took it. The both of you rushed toward his big, black motorbike. Yoongi only brought one helmet so he told you to just wear it. The ride to his house wasn’t that far, anyway.

The both of you were in a hurry. Countless profanities were thrown at him for driving hastily; Yoongi even parked his motorbike in a reckless way. Still, you two couldn’t care less, especially Yoongi. How could he? Huh, definitely not after you stroked his cock while driving. That’s really not a smart move, at least not when Yoongi’s mother welcomed the both of you just as Yoongi opened his apartment’s door.

“Eomma! What are you doing here?!” Clearly, your partner wasn’t expecting to see his own mother. It’s pretty obvious since Yoongi’s jaw dropped and his neck was slowly turning red.

“You brat! Why wouldn’t I be here? This is my house!” You knew you weren’t supposed to laugh, however it’s hard to control yourself when Yoongi’s being hit by his own mother while he was trying to cover the bulge on his pants.

“Eommoni! Please! I have a guest!” Yoongi got away from his own mother by hiding himself behind your small frame.

“What—oh!” His mother’s eyes widened when she saw you. She seemed surprised to see Yoongi bring someone. Of course, Yoongi had never brought his friends home. Not even once. At this point, his mother was actually convinced that her son was allergic to human beings.

“I didn’t know that Yoongi is friends with someone as charming as you…” The frightening aura of his mother was completely gone. The older woman engulfed you into a tight, warm hug as she asked your name. You answered her with a smile on your lips.

Yoongi’s mom led you in the kitchen. Actually, you tagged along with her. She wanted to prepare a meal for you and her son, but of course, you couldn’t just sit still and look pretty. As a sign of respect, you needed to help her. Besides, you loved kitchen works, though you’re pretty sure cooking hated every fiber of your being.

The older woman just asked you to set up the table because according to her, she was always in charge of cooking. She also told you to be prepared because you’d surely forget your name once you tasted her award-winning Sam Gae Tang or that chicken soup with ginseng. Hoseok, one of your best friends, made the best chicken soup so your standard was kind of high. For you, nothing could beat Hoseok, but we’ll just have to see.

“Please be kind to my mother…”

Yoongi’s voice and eyes were pleading as he sat beside you. The food was already prepared and the two of you were ready to eat. You were just waiting for Yoongi’s mom to finish washing her hands.

You just raised your brows at the man beside you, clearly not understanding why he’s pleading because really, you knew how to respect elders.

Yoongi sighed.

“My mom is a terrible cook. Her soup tastes like shit, man…” Yoongi shook his head like a traumatized kid. He even bit his lower lip.

You’re about to say something, but you heard his mother’s footsteps, meaning, if you spoke, she might hear you, and so you just kept your mouth shut. You’re expecting Yoongi to do the same, though he just leaned on your shoulders—his eyes were still begging.

“Please, baby? Just put a lot of kimchi and other sauces on your soup to get rid of the awful taste. Can you do that for me?”

You simply nodded. That night, you realized that Yoongi was willing to do everything just to make someone he loved happy. Days, weeks, months, and years passed and you still admired how every time you had dinner with him and his mother, Yoongi would urge you to put kimchi and other sauces on your chicken soup.

At this point, you were convinced you loved Min Yoongi. You had always loved cooking, hell, you were willing to lose your bachelor’s degree if that meant you would be good at cooking, because…

You, just like Yoongi’s mom, were a terrible cook. But Yoongi never complained nor did he ever put kimchi and other sauces on the food you cooked just for him.

<<< Silver Dust>>>>

The first time you asked Yoongi why he liked looking into your eyes was when the both of you were having a staring contest.

The wind was unbelievably cold tonight, clearly, you weren’t expecting to freeze in the middle of a summer night. The annoying weather led you into thinking if climbing on top of your boyfriend’s house’s roof was a good idea. Sure the stars were pretty, but you felt cold. Too cold.

“Do you know the story about the Window and the Mirror?” Yoongi asked out of the blue. He also pulled your body closer to him—making you grimace. The texture of the roof was hard on your back. You shook your head, why did you choose to lay on the roof without any blanket again? Sometimes, your choices in life were really questionable.

“Nah, what happened?” You’re never a fan of stories.

Yoongi sighed. He pulled you closer to him until your face was buried on his neck. Damn. He smelled like smoke and sex.

“Well, for starters, my father left us…”

Yoongi’s words monetarily made you stop breathing. You had known him for years now, but not once did you ever talk about his father. You were aware that his father left him and his mom, though you didn’t know the story behind it.

“My father was a good man and he always tells me he loves my mother more than ever. For the longest time of my life, I believed him. He never looked into anyone’s wife. He never had a mistress, but my father is selfish.”

You just hummed to let him know that you were listening.

He cleared his throat.

“Mom just wants a simple life and that’s why we never left Daegu. This is my home. Our home.” Yoongi’s grip on your shoulder tightened, he looked up in the sky—the stars were prettier when you were in Daegu.

“My father doesn’t like to be here, though. He loves the city. He craves city life. Ever since I was young, he kept telling my mom that they should move to Seoul. Abeonim hates farming. He calls our strawberry farm disgusting. Said he should become a CEO and not a stupid farmer.” Yoongi laughed bitterly. He could still remember the way his father said those words.

“And guess what? He fucking did. Min Hyun Sik, chief executive officer of Bighit Company…” Yoongi cackled and you gasped.

Min Hyun Sik was his father? That guy was like the richest man in South Korea! You wanted to confirm this news that he just dropped, however, you couldn’t move because Yoongi’s grip on your shoulders was so tight.

“He became someone with power by leaving my mother and I.” Yoongi repeated as his eyes darkened. He no longer found the stars pretty. For him they were just lights—shining to hurt his eyes.

“He just left a note like that was going to be enough. He didn’t even say sorry. The only words written on those notes are him telling me to go to University using the money he left.”

You bit your lower lip. His grip was really, really tight…

“He wants me to go to college so I can follow him in the city, and so I went to college. But it’s not because I want to follow him. I enrolled just so I can fucking drop out during my last year.”

You furrowed your brow. If that was Yoongi’s original plan, then how…how come he’s a college graduate now?

“That was the plan before I met you…” Yoongi’s grip on your shoulder loosens, giving you the opportunity to look into his eyes.

He smiled at you.

“So, the story of the Window and the Mirror?” He offered and you just nodded.

“There’s this rich man—”

“Richer than your dad?” You asked. He laughed.

“Fucking richer than my dad…” He left a chaste kiss on your mouth. You giggled. “Anyway, the man went to see a rabbi, some sort of Jewish teacher. Of course the rabbi asked him what he wanted and the rich man said he doesn’t know what to do with his life anymore.”

“Uh, duh? He should give us money!” You butted in again. Yoongi kissed you once more just to make you shut up.

“Unfortunately, the teacher didn’t tell the rich man to give you money, weirdo. The Rabbi just led him over to the window and asked him this.” Yoongi cleared his throat. “What can you see through the glass?”

“And what’s the response of the rich man, Mr. Min?”

“I can see men coming and going and a blind man begging for alms in the street.” Yoongi answered you. “The rabbi seemed content with his answers, so this time, the teacher led him into a large mirror to ask him another question...”

“What is the other question?” You pressed.

“The rabbi asked him this, baby…” Yoongi pressed his lips on your mouth before proceeding to the story. “When you look in this mirror, can you tell me what you see?”

“And?!” You pressed again.

“I can see myself…”

“Obviously.” You rolled your eyes. You just wanted to know the sense of this story.

“And you can’t see the others. Notice that the window and the mirror are both made of the same basic material, glass. You should compare yourself to these two kinds of glass. Poor, you saw other people and felt compassion for them. Rich — covered in silver — you see yourself.”

“Oh,” was all you could say.

Your boyfriend smiled at you.

“My father chose to look in the mirror and I almost did the same. I almost dropped out of college just because I want my father to see that having a degree is useless. But, baby, if I actually chose to drop out, I wouldn’t have met you. I wouldn’t be able to give my mother a better life. I wouldn’t be able to afford to hire a cook and who knows? If I drop out of college, I would probably still be eating my mom’s shitty chicken soup.” You laughed at that.

“I am just saying, I like to look into your eyes because it reminds me of a window. It made me see a lot of things—new opportunities. Because of you, I stopped being selfish. You removed the silver in the mirror; you turned the silver into dust.”

“I fucking love you!” This time, you initiated the kiss.

You kissed Min Yoongi so hard that when you pulled away, he’s desperately gasping for air.

“I fucking love you too.”

<<< The Proposal >>>>

After reminiscing some of your unforgettable moments with Min Yoongi, you finally looked into his eyes.

Yoongi proposed to you and you’re contemplating whether to say yes or no. Your boyfriend despised the crowd, but here he was, down on his knees—shakily holding a ring on his hand.

You examined his face. His lips were quivering, for the first time; you saw how vulnerable he looked. It’s as if his whole life depended on this, and to be honest, it did. Yoongi couldn’t imagine life without you.

“Baby, are you gonna say yes or no?” Yoongi knitted his brows together.

You chuckled. Typical, Yoongi.

“Please stand up…”

Your boyfriend looked at you with confused eyes. His heart started beating so fast he’s very sure it would explode.

“B-But why? Don’t you want to—“ He stammered.

“Just stand up, Yoongi.”

With a heavy heart, Yoongi followed what you wanted. Deep inside, Yoongi was already murdering his friend, Jeon Jeongguk. He just told Yoongi that proposing in a strange, busy city would win your heart.

You two were currently in New York, New York. Strangers were watching you, and Brooklyn Bridge served as your backdrop. Jeongguk said that if Yoongi proposed in a place where no one knew you, then it was a sure win because your mother wouldn’t be able to stop Yoongi. Your childhood crush or ex wouldn't be in the picture too so it was another win for Yoongi. But your boyfriend was starting to regret his decision. He shouldn’t have listened to Jeongguk. What did that dipshit even know about love?

“Yoongi, are you listening?”

“Huh?” Your boyfriend’s train of thoughts were suddenly halted when you spoke.

“I can’t believe you. I just said yes!” You shake Yoongi’s shoulder. It looked like he was still out of his mind and that made you anxious. What if…what if he decided you’re not worth it anymore? What if he didn’t want to marry you anymore?

“Baby, I can’t believe you too. Please give me your hands!” Yoongi exclaimed.

“Oh!” You exclaimed as well. What the hell! You were so apprehensive that you zoned out too!

“We’re both weirdos, do you know that?” Yoongi shook his head after putting the sparkling ring on your finger.

You laughed.

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me.”

“Gladly.”

[btssunnyboy]

Partners In Crime - Jeon Jungkook Part 1

You had a vendetta, and this was your chance. You were gonna prove yourself, but now you got another person to worry about.

Word Count - 3,131

Warning - Undercover Agent! AU, profanity and mentions of drinking.

Masterlist

Also I’m back after a few months break I’m so sorry, but hopefully I’ll be back with a lot more updates!!!

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"I absolutely refuse! I'm more then qualified to handle this mission on my own."

The words slipped pasted your lips quicker then you intended. Venom laced through every word, as you stared stared at your higher up. His eyes threatened to roll back in his head ; agitation clearly visible through his stressed state. He released a heavy breath, while pinching the bridge of his nose. His hands form together into bone crushingly tight fist.

"L/n! Work with me! You need a partner for this assignment and he's the perfect coverup!" Mr. Jones ushered out as his eyes glanced cautiously at the clock. The small ticks that erupted from the small machine filling the tense silence that was floating in the air. His leg shook wildly in return in made the floorboards squeak underneath the shaky weight.

"I've been working Jackson Wang's case for over six months! His banquet is my shot to prove I'm worthy of my spot on this team!" You bellowed, comic stream bursting from your ears. Your face was red from embarrassment, disappointment and most importantly anger. Pure, boiling, hot anger seeping through every crevice of your body. This was chance to prove that you weren't a rookie anymore! This was a chance to live up to what you father used to be on this force.

"You've shown your worth more then enough times to be about of my department, but this is a mission that requires back up. It's too dangerous even for you." Mr. Jones sighed once more when he noticed your posture. Stick straight back, with clenched hands and jaw. You were passed the state of furious, and he knew hell was about to rain down. "Can I at least tell you his name."

"Of course it's a guy."

"His name is Jeon Jungkook. He's one of the top residents we have, and he's moving up through the ranks remarkably well." The sickly sweet comment rolled off of his tongue with such ease. It disgusted you down to your core. You didn't need a partner to handle Jackson Wang. You've dealt with his accomplices, and you sure as hell can take a guy like him on. "Now would you please stop making a big scene."

On one hand Mr. Jones had a point. Your reaction was starting to take the form of a five year old who just got told no to a brand new toy. You were overreacting, but with a good reason to back it up. This was your main chance ; you didn't want to be shadowed by some partner who would take all the credit. This was your shot, and you desperately needed it. Your worth in this department now rests on the hands of someone called Jeon Jungkook.

Before you mouth could open to add more snarky comment chief's door swung open. I'm walked a man who was almost your age, but maybe a bit older. His big doe eyes held so much innocence ; you almost pity the man who decided to work in a job like this. A job that requires you to be deceiving in every way, a job that tests your limits, and a job that puts your life in danger every time you walk out those doors. Being undercover has it's downfalls, and it may corrupt a sweet guy like him.

"This is your partner. Jeon Jungkook meet L/n Y/n."

"It's a pleasure to meet you! I've actually heard so much about you!" He beamed while staring softly at you. His hand was extended, and your whole body was hesitant to even shake his hand. He noticed the delay, and awkwardly pulled his hand away, and rubbed the nape of his neck. "It's gonna be an honor working with you."

You stayed silent through the entire exchange. The way his smile dropped ever so slightly, but the gleam never left his eyes. His stare was now directed towards the chief. Desperately trying to get the train moving along, and bolt as fast as he could out those glass doors. The chief gave a sudden scoff, before he started making his point clear.

"Jeon I'm sorry for this unprofessional like matter coming from one of our finest, but you two need to work together." The message was supposed to be loud and clear. Both of you were supposed to understand that this mission is going to take every once of willpower from the both of you. "This is his case file, learn it, live it, and then catch it."

Sharp nods left the both of you, as you reached for your file. Flipping through what felt like miles of charges against him. Things been drug charges, third degree battery, and many, many more. This just goes to prove that money will get your dumbass out of any situation. This man has ruined lives, and here he is still allowed to roam the streets without a care in the fucking world.

"Jesus Christ how can this guy live with himself?" Jungkook mumbled while pulling his chair out. His eyes scanned each charge, and loudly showed his disapproval. His scoff filled the small room, as if practically reverberated throughout. "What do you think about all of this?"

His question lingered in the air, as a response was settled onto your tongue. It was searing in your mouth, begging to have the cool air hit it and diminish the intensity of it. Instead you stayed silent. Letting your eyes linger on the file, even though you knew everything about this man. His motives, his relationship, his goddamn childhood. You knew it all, and a personal vendetta was pushing you towards getting this bastard in jail. Him and his stupid connections ruined your life, and you're never going to forget that.

"I know this isn't exactly your idea type of mission, but I'm just here to help." Jungkook softly said as he pulled his chair to the front of your desk. His famous doe eyes staring so softly into yours. They had a gleam that looked like a whole universe was settled underneath his cornea. His smile was still on his face, as if you silence wasn't affecting him at all. He didn't seem to care, as he continued on this conversation. "We still need to think of a plan to catch him."

He wasn't wrong. This whole mission still needed to be planned out step by step. And all you've got so far is the fact he's in town for the week, and once he leaves this area your team's jurisdiction will be useful no more. It has to be you, and your partner who take him down. The mere thought of him leaving made your hands clench in anger once more. Your knuckles going white from the harsh grip, and you could already fill your nails tearing the skin of your palms. His eyes glanced down at your hands, and he took it as his sign to leave.

"You don't have to go." Your voice was so soft he almost didn't hear it. This was a drastic change from your demeanor back in the chief's office. You tightly shut your eyes, and wished you'd just kept your mouth shut. He was just about to leave, and you could've been alone to make a plan layout. This could've be done all by yourself, but something made you want him. Something made it hard to see him go. "Like you said we need a plan."

"Y-yeah! A plan if were gonna catch him we need to make sure that he's caught in the act. I figured the only reason why he's never be truly admitted to jail is that he's never been see doing these things. Someone else always manages to take the fault." Jungkook stammered, as he pulled out his laptop. His eyes scanning every detail of the records he's looking at. Different people each lined up with charge that some how correspond with Jackson Wang's charges. They go down for him, and he just leaves them there. What a sicko.

You nodded your head in understanding. He would get charged and then everything would be dropped. Only for another man to take the place, and as they said coincidental at the time. This plan needs two brains working together, a different perspective is exactly what this mission needs. Yet you still can't bring yourself to accept that. It was stupid sitting here in a mood just because you have to have a partner

"We have less then a week to catch up so Jeon Jungkook. What's our first move." You sighed as you leaned back in your seat. A curt nod came from him as he typed away on his computer, original doe soft eyes were pressed in harsh glares. His min was set on finding an answer, and it looked like he was set on finding one fast.

"His banquet, like we've mentioned before is our only shot there's no other way. The only problem is that we need an invitation." Jungkook grumbled as he slammed his laptop shut. He knew this was a big opportunity, and now he can't do anything about it.

"I've got that covered, before Bailey's incident she's was assigned this case and already acquired two tickets. Now this is our last shot bring him back home. Do I make myself clear?"  The chief spoke loudly. Making sure this was getting through both of your heads.

"Crystal."

"You're both two of the youngest on this team, make this count. And be careful, Jackson Wang is many things, but he's not a fool. One slip up and this whole operation goes down."

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"So we have to look like a couple at this party." Jungkook sighed as he fixed the blazer that settled onto his broad shoulders. The sleek looking material complimented his body in an extraordinary way. He was actually looking the part of a wealthy business man, and that's exactly the cover up that was needed. "We still have a few days, maybe we should actually go on a date."

Your eyebrows shot up in a questionable look. Your head tilted to the side as well. The emerald dress in your hands suddenly worth a lot more attention then the dashing man in front of you. It felt stupid to get to know him considering after this mission you planned on never talking to him again. Hell you planned on staying quiet throughout the whole night at the banquet. Get in, get him and get the hell out. It wasn't supposed to be a bonding experience.

"Come on, I'm not that bad." He commented again, as he shrugged off the sleek material. He somehow looked even better without that jacket. His white button down shirt cling to his biceps, making him even more appealing. That same smile he always wore still graced his face. Almost like it was the only permanent expression he had. "I mean I'd like to get to know you considering we're gonna be on the same team after this."

You dreaded it when he spoke that sentence. You truly didn't mind him it's just, getting close to someone in this business has its consequences. Consequences that take every ounce of happiness in you, and rip it to shreds. You've gone through them enough to know just how terrible they actually are. You didn't want to experience that pain again, and Jungkook sure wasn't worth going through that guy wrenching pain once more. But you never know what could happen in the span of a week. Once more you stayed locked onto the target of the silky emerald dress in front of you.

"I just wanna make sure you're okay with being around me. If we have to look like a couple we're gonna have to be touching in some way to make it more believable. Maybe just tell me some lies, or say I love you. It's gonna be fake anyways."

The way he spoke so nonchalantly physically hurt your heart. It was so stupid to let those few words effect you in such a big way. You were gonna ditch him so you had no right to upset about this.

"Let's get take-out and go to my place tonight. This better be worth my night."

"Of course it's gonna be."

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It was a silent ride to your little apartment. The cars passing by providing only little bit of noise in the long car ride. You could tell he was itching to start a conversation based on the way his hand kept twitching. His eyes would shoot from the road back to your sleepy form. He just wanted to get to know you, and he's usually a talk active person. But he's scared he's gonna mess up things if he even speaks a word. He's worried that if he breathes the wrong way you're gonna complain even more. 

"Up here at the left." You said in a groggy tone, and rubbed the sleep from your eyes. A small yawn passing through once again. You honestly don't know if you're awake enough to even make it to your apartment door. But there is a hot takeout box in your lap, and it’s been a long day. Besides Lucy was definitely awake, and she’s always happy too see you. Well most of the time she is. Your keys wiggled in the lock as you tried to open the door. The sound of keys slapping against the concrete woke you up only slightly.

“Here let me do it.” He spoke softly as he took the keys from your weak grip. His hands softly guiding the takeout from yours. “If you want to reschedule it’s fine.”

“No it’s fine, when need this bonding experience anyways. Besides I think Lucy has already taken a liking to you.” You laughed lightly as the calico cat immediately rubbed her head against his jean clad legs. A soft purr erupting from her. The freaking cat loves him, but hisses at anyone else. “Well hello there.”

That little heifer has the audacity to love up on him, and completely ignore you. You’re the one who fills her green bowl, gives her half the food on your plate. And she goes to the stranger that smells like mint and chocolate.

“I swear she’s usually in a mood.” You commented, as you tossed your coat on the back of the couch. As Jungkook sat down she immediately made her nest on his lap. Like you said before, that little heifer. “Okay now lets start talking.”

“Okay, what’s your favorite tv show.” He softly said as he shoveled the noodles in his mouth. His eyes never leaving yours once more, as if he truly wanted to know. He’s actually taking this hang out session seriously.

“I’ve really been getting into body of proof recently, that was reason why I wanted to be a medical examiner at the start of my career.” You smiled at the memory. Your mom done everything in her power to put you on the right track. She was always worried you’d get chocked up dealing with dead bodies like that, but she was more worried you’d get caught in between a murderer and a victim. Like your new job was any better.

“Why didn’t you continue with that?” His question was innocent as all get outs. But it still hurt to even think about the reason why you dropped it from your worries all together.

“That a personal question for another time.” You sighed as you wiped the corners of your mouth. Your eyes staying down casted towards the hardwood floors. When you noticed how Lucy’s food bowl was empty you took that as your chance to leave. Slowly searching through your kitchen cabinets looking for favorite chicken meal.

“Oh, okay. I didn’t realize, that it was like that.”

“You couldn’t have know, it’s fine how about we move onto the next topic.”

He sucked in air through his teeth as he raked his mind for another topic. The air was tense, and that was the last thing he wanted. He cleared his throat, as he lightly stroked Lucy’s head. She dug her head further into his hand ; trying to appreciate the warmth that he was giving her.

“Look I’m sorry I keep making everything so difficult. I’m not trying too it’s just in this job I’m scared to open up. It’s gotten me in some trouble, and that almost took me out.” You confessed as you popped open the cat food. Hearing her small paws tapping against the hardwood floors once more. You wiped your hands off on your jeans, and turned to face him fully. His head was tilted in the way yours does, and his eyes held that curious gleam once more.

“I understand that to an extent, but we’re just talking right now nothing bad is gonna happen.” He smiled as he pushed himself up off the couch. Leaning down with a huff he sat beside of you and watched at Lucy lapped up the food that was left in her plate. As soon as she was done she moved towards the man behind her. She happily rubbed her small head underneath his chin.

“Lucy seems pretty content with you, maybe that’s a good sign.” You half smiled as you twirled her soft tail around you index finger. Successfully gaining her attention, as your little baby licked at the tips of your fingers. “How about we put in a random movie, and go from there.”

He smiled widely as he rushed towards the small component underneath the tv. His eyes gleaming happily as he traced the spine of each dvd. Before his eyes settled onto the marvel section. His hands grasped the dozens of DVD’s and sprawled the across the floor. Ranging from Captain American to the one and only Endgame. A small chuckled passed through his lips as he held up one of the Iron Man disc.

“We can bond over one of my favorite movies.”

“I’ll get drinks.” You smiled as you raced towards your cabinets once. Pulling out the wine from the back corner. The beautiful blue bottle shinning underneath the soft lights of your kitchen. Pulling out two wine glasses you jumped onto the couch beside of him.

“I’m ready whenever you are.” He tipped his glass towards you with a suggestive smile. His eyes lingering towards the alcohol in your hands.

“Okay then let’s play the infamous twenty-one questions.” You spoke as you poured the wine and let it flow into the glasses. Watching as the foam started to settle. Taking a sip, and letting the cool liquid soothe you throat. “What made you want to go undercover.”

“Let’s get ready for a story.”

[purplepersnicketywrites]

I found this post and I really love the prompt so it goes like this "you're unfairly good at everyhting but I'm strong enough to carry you bride-style and this for some reason renders you speachless" I'm sorry it's not a nermaid thing.

It doesn’t have to be a mermaid thing! You’re good! I just thought it would be On Theme for the month dfshgdfg

ANYWAY YES THIS IS A TOP-TIER PROMPT it’s,,, Kirishima @ Bakugou tbh

so um. it might have taken a while to write this but have like, a whole 4k fic? i don’t know how to drabble,, apparently,,,

Eijirou was in love.

Okay, well, maybe that was a little over-exaggeration of his feelings. Maybe it was being dramatic - especially since he wasn’t actually with the object of his affections (yet) - but dramatic suited his would-be suitor.

Or, Eijirou thought. Am I the suitor?

It wasn’t like he was actively persuing anything… Whatever, the point was that Eijirou was desperately in love with one Bakugou Katsuki, his long-time best friend and the owner of his entire heart and most of his soul. And who could blame him? Bakugou was perfect.

It might not be an opinion that everyone shared of the blond bombshell. He was prickly and wore an almost permanent scowl. He was the grumpiest, grouchiest bastard that Eijirou had ever met. He swore liberally, was unapologetically self-confident almost to the point of arrogance, and he exploded stuff. He’d been even worse when he was younger.

The thing was, as Bakugou’s best friend, Eijirou saw the other side of him, too. Where Bakugou’s walls were raised high around him, he’d carved out a small door for Eijirou and a few of their closest friends to let them in.

Where most saw Bakugou as a unfriendly and standoffish guy, Eijirou saw the introverted young man who was shy and just didn’t want to admit it. Where most heard the blistering language that rolled off of Bakugou’s tongue, Eijirou heard the Bakugou who was bad with words and at a loss for how to really express himself. Bakugou was way more into physical expression than verbal. He didn’t like to talk about feelings or ‘gross sappy shit like that’.

Most people didn’t bother trying to get through Bakugou’s walls to see the part of him that really, truly cared about people. It had been a stunted, shrivelled sort of thing when Bakugou had started at UA. Now, five years later and two into actual hero work, it was like a tree in full bloom. Bakugou cared, in his own way.

His drive was unparalleled. Once Bakugou Katsuki set his mind on something, god, he was gonna get it. Eijirou didn’t doubt for a second that he’d snag the Number One Hero spot at some point in his career. Bakugou inspired Eijirou, he always had.

Bakugou was also absolutely, mind-bendingly smoking hot. Which, you know, that didn’t hurt Eijirou’s attraction to him one bit.

One of the things that Eijirou found most appealing about his friend was his sheer level of competency. In like, any situation. Eijirou would think that maybe they were stuck on something - in a hopeless situation, on an investigation, anything, really - and then Bakugou’s face would do the thing. He’d get one of his special thinky-faces on, the one that meant he was trying to remember something. Then his eyes - bright and shiny and the most gorgeous deep red - would widen slightly as he pulled on all the strings inside his head and found himself weaving up a thought.

Bakugou would bark out a laugh, one of Eijirou’s favourite Bakugou laughs because this one meant I’ve got it, we’ve won, and proceed to obliterate whatever their obstacle was. Bakugou had done a whole lot of things, somehow. He’d done ballet and acrobatics in addition to martial arts to shape his movements as he fought. He was musical. Origami swans had saved their necks twice, somehow, and Eijirou had nearly died for other reasons that one time Katsuki had had to teach him how to tango for that one undercover mission they’d gone on. Both of them had worn awful wigs. Eijirou remembered the mission fondly.

One thing that Bakugou Katsuki still wasn’t great at doing, however, was knowing when he was beaten. Kaminari often joked that Bakugou had no off-switch. He never stopped.

Not even when his leg was cut up from hip-to-calf and there were seven other heroes on the scene.

“Don’t make me call timeout on you, Zero,” Eijirou growled, holding onto Bakugou’s shoulder to stop him rushing after the villain that Eijirou was pretty sure Battle Fist had already smacked down into the ground. Bakugou tried to keep walking. “You’re bleeding. Like, badly.”

“They can stitch it later,” Bakugou said, eyes darting around.

Eijirou narrowed his own eyes. “Once you’ve passed out from blood loss, you mean?”

Bakugou glared at him and tried to shake Eijirou’s hand off his shoulder. “Don’t mother-hen me, Red.”

“Oh yeah,” Eijirou huffed, doubling down on his grip. “Because not wanting my partner to drop ‘cause he’s being stubborn is unreasonable.”

“Exactly,” Bakugou said, raising one hand. It was already popping a little. Was he going to try and blast Eijirou’s hand off of him? He ought to know that wouldn’t work by now.

Eijirou sighed. “Well, if you’re gonna act like a baby about it… It’s timeout time.”

Bakugou only had time to frown at him before Eijirou was scooping him up into a bridal-style lift. Bakugou squawked and let off a couple of bangs from his hands. They achieved exactly nothing.

“Let me go, you bastard!” Bakugou snapped. He wasn’t wriggling too much, though. His leg must have been really painful. Eijirou tried not to jostle it. “Put me down!”

“Nope!” Eijirou said, and he looked around to see if he could see any medical assistance. If not, well, the hospital wasn’t too far from here… Bakugou folded his arms over his chest and pouted. Good, he’d accepted his fate.

There were no medics set up around here, so Eijirou set off at a light jog towards the route to the hospital. He could feel warmth dripping down one of his arms and grimaced to himself. Bakugou really was losing blood, huh? He was lucky that the villain hadn’t caught one of his major blood vessels.

It didn’t take very long until the hospital was in sight, and Eijirou glanced down at Bakugou, who was staring fixedly at his own knees with a weird expression on his face.

“Hey man, you holding up?” Eijirou asked, wondering if Bakugou was in more pain than he’d thought or like, fainting or something. He shifted Bakugou’s weight in his arms a little.

Bakugou nodded, flushing pink? “Just get me to the docs already.”

“You got it, dude,” Eijirou said, jogging around the hospital building until he saw the sign for A&E. People moving outside the hospital caught sight of them and ogled. Man, they were probably both covered in blood, huh? This’d probably make the news.

It was worth it if Bakugou was okay, though. Eijirou was beginning to get worried - his friend had gone pale again, paler than he should be, and quiet, too. Quiet and Bakugou did not mix. He sped up a little and then all of a sudden he was at the desk in A&E.

“Uh,” Eijirou managed to get out, but the receptionist had seen them coming and a doctor was already rushing over.

“Over here, Red Riot,” the doctor said, showing Eijirou to a free bed. He laid Bakugou down on it as gently as he could. Nurses swarmed under the doctor’s direction, and before Eijirou knew what was going on, he was being bundled into a waiting room chair with a shock blanket and a mug of cocoa.

He texted Mina to go to his and Bakugou’s apartment to pick up some fresh clothes for them both as she had a spare key, and then he was just waiting. He offered himself as a blood donor - as an O-Neg he was a universal donor - but the doctors had deemed it unnecessary. They had plenty of blood for Bakugou to have. That was good. He thought that they had probably stitched him up by now, and maybe even used a medical quirk.

“Red Riot?”

Eijirou looked up. One of the nurses from earlier stood in front of him. “Oh, uh, hi! How’s Ground Zero doing?”

“Good,” said the nurse. “His injuries have been treated and he’s currently being given painkillers for it. He is currently asleep, but would you like to sit in with him?”

Eijirou glanced down at his soiled clothes. “Am I allowed, with all of this gunk on me?”

“His injuries have all been cleaned and dressed, so unless you try to remove any of them, I think you’ll be safe,” the nurse grinned. “Follow me.”

Eijirou did. He was led through a few different corridors and into a ward with individual rooms. The nurse pushed one door open and then there was Bakugou. He looked a lot cleaner and was a far better colour than he had been. Eijirou let out a sigh of relief and went to sit on one of the visitors’ chairs.

“Thanks,” he told the nurse, who smiled again and left the room after telling Eijirou to yell if anything was amiss.

Eijirou stared at Bakugou’s face. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

One of Bakugou’s eyes cracked open. “Yeah.”

“Huh,” Eijirou said. “No arguing with me any more? Those painkillers must be strong.”

“I’m so fuckin’ high right now,” Bakugou agreed. “Sorry.”

“Apologies, too? Man, I should keep some of this stuff and slip it to you the next time you get too grumpy.”

Bakugou grinned at him. “Nah, ya like me when I’m grumpy.”

Damn, well, that was true.

“Yeah, I do,” Eijirou said, and prodded Bakugou’s chest. “So stop ending up in here. This one’s gonna leave a real nasty scar.”

“Mmhmm,” Bakugou said, closing his eyes again. “Sooner I rest up, sooner I’ll be cleared to leave this fuckin’ place. So shut ya trap.”

“Charming,” Eijirou said with a snort.

“I know I am,” Bakugou mumbled. “Shut up.”

Eijirou patted Bakugou on the shoulder. “Yeah. I’ll be here when you wake up again, yeah?”

“Better fuckin’ be,” Bakugou said, and then his face dropped into the genuine relaxation of sleep.

Mina was a goddamn lifesaver. She had brought them their clothes, informed Bakugou that he was a moron for making everyone worry about him, and then swept herself off with no wriggling eyebrows or probing about Eijirou basically gluing himself to Bakugou’s side. She had also taken away their dirtied costumes ‘to be burned’.

The hospital staff had given Bakugou the A-Okay to head home (and rest his leg, which Eijirou was going to have to enforce, somehow). Now all they had to do was physically get out of the hospital.

That was easier said than done.

“I do not need a fuckin’ wheelchair,” Bakugou insisted, despite the fact he wasn’t really supposed to walk in case his stitches ripped. He had woken up on the wrong side of everything, let alone the bed, and now that they’d taken him off the strong painkillers the reality of his injury had settled in.

Eijirou was losing his patience with his friend. “Stop swearing at the staff, Bakugou.”

“I do whatever I damn well please,” Bakugou spat, glowering. “Fucking antibiotics, feel like shit. I’m allowed to cuss, I’m an adult.”

“It’s not professional, man,” Eijirou said. “What if a kid in the hospital hears you? They’re gonna repeat what Ground Zero says.”

“It’s education.”

Eijirou’s mouth threatened to twitch up. No! He wasn’t amused!

“Dude,” said Eijirou. “You suck.”

Bakugou scowled at him. “You wish.”

Eijirou took a moment for himself to scream internally. Being head over heels for this man was incredibly testing at times. He had a suspicion that Bakugou knew, from comments like that, but he could never be sure. Eijirou pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you going to get into the chair? Or are you hoping that you’ll start spontaneously levitating?”

“I just don’t want the press to get me in one of those things,” Bakugou said, pouting to the side.

“There’s literally nothing wrong with being in a wheelchair, Bakugou,” Eijirou said.

Bakugou scoffed. “Of course not! But the tabloids’ll overreact and make out like I’m dying or I’ve lost my leg or some stupid shit like that. It’ll affect the rankings.”

Eijirou sighed. Bakugou narrowed his eyes and Eijirou held up his hands. “I get it, bro, the world is stupid. They probably already got me carrying you in here covered in blood, though. I could carry you back out again?”

“And do what, carry me the whole way home?” Bakugou snapped.

“Sure, why not?” Eijirou shrugged. “If it gets you out of the hospital.”

Bakugou glared at him. “Why n- We live three fuckin’ miles away, dipshit!”

“And?”

Bakugou blinked. “And that’s a fuckin’ long way to go if you’re lugging someone along with you.”

“Not really, ‘cause I’m like,” Eijirou paused to reorganise his words. “I’ve definitely carried more than you for further before.”

“Excuse me,” said one of the nurses. “So will you be using the wheelchair or not?”

“Not,” Bakugou said.

Oh, wait, so the carrying thing wasn’t hypothetical. Okay.

“Alright, let’s go then,” Eijirou said, walking over to where Bakugou was sitting with his legs dangling over the side of the hospital bed, signed discharge papers in his hand ready to give to reception. Eijirou tried to pretend that his heart wasn’t thundering in his chest. He failed.

No use agonising over it! Eijirou scooped Bakugou up. Bakugou slung one of his arms around Eijirou’s neck - for balance, probably - and lay the other with the discharge papers over his lap.

“You good?” Eijirou asked. Bakugou nodded. “I’m not grabbing your cut, right?”

Bakugou shook his head.

“Comfy?” Eijirou asked. Bakugou nodded. Okay, that was weird, he’d gone quiet. And slightly red. Was that like, a symptom of something, or? “Cat got ya tongue, man?”

Bakugou went pale, and then red again, almost like some kind of squid thing that Eijirou had seen on a wildlife documentary once.

“Ba-”

“Just go already,” Bakugou muttered, scowling at the papers he was holding.

“Alright,” Eijirou said, thanking the nurse and striding from the room.

“Home, sweet home,” Eijirou said, setting Bakugou down for the first time since they’d left the hospital. They weren’t quite in yet, but Eijirou did sort of need to unlock the door. He kept ahold of Bakugou’s arm to make sure he stood in one place, and then the door was open and he was picking Bakugou up again.

So what if he was enjoying all this extra contact? Sue him.

“Sofa or bed, Bakugou?” Eijirou asked, and Bakugou jumped slightly in his arms. He’d have his Thinking Really Hard face on all the way home and had barely said a word.

“Sofa,” Bakugou said. Eijirou set him down and Bakugou leant back into the cushions with his Thoughtful Scowl on again.

Eijirou sat next to him, breathing out a sigh of relief that they were finally home and mostly back in one piece after the fight today. Eijirou had dealt with knife quirks before - on his hero debut, even! - but while his quirk protected him from the worst of any sharp things, it meant that he no longer really got aimed at and it was harder for him to take hits.

Man, if the knife villain had gotten Eijirou? He’d’ve come away from the battle totally unharmed and desperately seeking a new pair of trousers or something. But no. The villain had got his best friend instead, and now everything was going to be a hassle for a while. Patrols without Bakugou didn’t suck, but they did get a little dull, and Eijirou would always be worrying that Bakugou had fallen over or something and injured himself more without anyone around to help him.

“You wanna get take out tonight?” Eijirou asked. He was gonna order it anyway because he didn’t want to cook and he wasn’t gonna let Bakugou do it. Bakugou grunted - probably in agreement - and Eijirou realised that he was still on his no-talking thing. “Dude, what’s up?”

Bakugou levelled a glare at him. “Take a wild guess.”

“Nuh uh, that ain’t gonna fly,” Eijirou said. “You’re moping, or something. Injuries make you angry. You get louder. Not whatever this is.”

“The fuck do you know?” Bakugou grumbled. Eijirou reached out and whacked Bakugou’s shoulder lightly.

“I know you, man,” Eijirou said.

“Ugh,” Bakugou said. “I guess you do.”

He was still looking at Eijirou, expression shifting and shifting so quickly that Eijirou couldn’t keep up. Bakugou’s thoughts must have been racing - and for such a quick-thinking guy that speed must be intense.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Eijirou said, launching into his usual get-Bakugou-to-open-up-about-things spiel. “But I’m here for ya, Bakugou.”

“Yeah, you are,” Bakugou said, face moving into a frown. Huh? “Why?”

“What?”

“Why are you here?” Bakugou asked. “Why do you want to be here?”

Well, this was not exactly the conversation Eijirou had envisioned having… Like, ever. “You’re my best frien-”

“That’s not what I meant, Kirishima,”Bakugou growled, cutting Eijirou off with a glare. What, was Eijirou not giving the right answer to his vague and nebulous question? “It- Ugh. What do you want from me?”

Eijirou blinked. “What? Nothing.”

“No, there isn’t nothing,” Bakugou snapped. Huh? Eijirou didn’t understand what Bakugou was saying. Was this just from all the pain meds, even if the loopy ones weren’t being used any more? Did Bakugou think that Eijirou was only hanging out with him for… For what? Personal gain? What would that even be? Years of friendship (and feelings) down the line and Bakugou thought this? Bakugou clacked his teeth together and frowned harder. “Stop- Stop thinking whatever you’re thinking.”

“Wh-”

“No, fuck, let me just,” Bakugou grimaced, looking off to the side. Oh, this was some weird feelings thing, wasn’t it? No wonder Bakugou wasn’t making any sense. Eijirou still felt tense, but not quite as alarmed. “You carried me home for three fucking miles, Kirishima! What do I- How the hell am I supposed to- Ugh!”

Oh, Eijirou thought he could see the picture of things, now. “You don’t need to give anything back to me for that, Bakugou! It’d be selfish to ask for you to repay me for something I volunteered to do!”

“Well, maybe you should be,” Bakugou said. Eijirou tilted his head. Bakugou glanced at him and away again. “Be selfish, I mean! You’re always fucking giving. Giving and giving and never taking a single thing back for yourself and it drives me up the fucking wall!”

Eijirou shook his head. “There’s nothing I need from anyone that I don’t already have.”

“What about what you want,” Bakugou said. He fixed Eijirou with his stare again and something in his expression made Eijirou’s stomach do somersaults. “Is there anything you want from me that I could give you?”

Eijirou met Bakugou’s burning gaze.

Everything, his brain supplied.

Bakugou’s eyes widened slightly, and Eijirou realised that he’d said the word aloud. Before he could even think about being horrified, Bakugou’s scowl slipped from his face. It was replaced by a triumphant grin.

“Oh thank fuck you finally said it,” Bakugou said, leaning over into Eijirou’s space. Eijirou could feel his whole face burning. “‘Cause if I never got the chance to tell you how god damned hot it is that you can carry me in your arms for three fucking miles without even breaking a sweat, I think I would’ve died.”

Eijirou couldn’t provide a response to that. His lips were occupied, all of a sudden. With Bakugou. Because Bakugou was kissing him, and kind of insistently. Eijirou allowed himself a few more moments to be utterly confused, and then he wrapped his arms around Bakugou and kissed him back with just as much enthusiasm as Bakugou was putting in.

“That’s a little dramatic,” Eijirou said, when they parted to breathe.

Bakugou snorted. “You know who you’re dealing with.”

“Mmhm,” Eijirou said, kissing Bakugou again and finding himself delighted by the way he reacted. When had Bakugou crawled into his lap? “Uh… We should probably talk about this.”

“I’m fuckin’ crazy about you. We’re dating now. That enough talkin’ for ya?”

Probably not, but- Bakugou kissed him again. And again. And again. Eijirou laughed into the kisses, and began to run his hands down Bakugou’s sides. “Wait, um. So does this make you my boyfriend, Katsuki?“

“Fuck, yes,” Bakugou said. Or should it just be Katsuki now? Yeah, Eijirou liked the sound of that. “You- Ow! Watch it!”

Eijirou winced, pulling his hand away from Katsuki’s hip. “Oops! I forgot! Are you okay?”

“Dumbass,” Katsuki said, but fondly.

“For the record, I’m crazy about you, too,” Eijirou said, taking advantage of the lull to speak. “I’ve been kind of head over heels for you since school.“

“I know,” Katsuki said. Oh.

“Wait,” Eijirou raised an eyebrow. “You knew? Like, since when?”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Since forever. You’re not subtle.”

Eijirou blinked. “What? Then- Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I dunno,” Katsuki said, pulling himself back to lay against the sofa cushions again. “I was confused about it for a long-ass while.”

“So, you’re not confused any more?” Eijirou asked. It didn’t really need to be asked, given the way that Katsuki had kissed him just now, but Eijirou wanted everything out in the open.

“No,” Katsuki lifted his good leg and prodded Eijirou’s chest with his foot. “I’ve been flirting with you for like, a fuckin’ year now. Thought it’d finally spur you to action but noooo, you have to be all self-depreciating and second-guessing shit all the time.”

“A year?” Eijirou said, feeling his mouth fall open. His brain scanned through all of their recent interactions - there was a lot to sift through. Oh, that explained a few things. Eijirou put a hand over his face. “God, I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah,” Katsuki said. He beckoned Eijirou over with a finger. “But you’re my idiot now, so come here.”

Eijirou crawled over him, mindful of Katsuki’s injured leg. Katsuki hooked his arms around Eijirou’s neck and drew him into a languid kiss.

“I love you,” Eijirou said, feeling a shiver down his spine as the words left his mouth. Wait, fuck, it was too soon for that and Katsuki was probably going to-

“Holy shit,” Katsuki said, turning bright red. “Fuck- Fucking warn a guy if you’re gonna say something that sappy!”

“I’m sorry, I, uh-”

Katsuki slammed a hand over Eijirou’s mouth. “Don’t you fucking dare take it back, Eijirou.”

Oh, Eijirou thought. That was the first time he used my given name.

“I,” Katsuki swallowed, his flushed face darkening further. “I love you too.”

The shiver that followed Katsuki’s statement dwarfed any he’d experienced previously. It felt like his soul was on fire. Eijirou didn’t know how to respond, so he kissed Katsuki again.

“I love you,” he said, pressing his lips to Katsuki’s jaw. “I love you,” he said, kissing Katsuki’s cheek. He continued, saying those three words over and over and peppering kisses all over Katsuki’s face. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Katsuki grinned, happier than Eijirou had ever seen. He could feel Katsuki’s fingers running through his hair at the back of his head. “Fuck, I love you. So fucking much.”

Eijirou pressed their foreheads together.

“Katsuki,” Eijirou said, but not for any particular reason. He just wanted to say Katsuki’s name.

“Eijirou,” Katsuki echoed. “We still have to order food.”

“Oh, right!” Eijirou sat up.”Whaddya want?”

“You.”

Eijirou flushed. “Babe. Er, can I call you that?“

“Fuck, call me whatever you want,” Katsuki said, matching the shade of Eijirou’s face. “Curry?”

“Curry it is!” Eijirou said, climbing off of Katsuki and the sofa and making his way over to the phone to call their usual place. He rattled off their order, maybe a little quicker than usual. Once it was confirmed, he put the phone down and turned to stare at Katsuki.

Katsuki looked back at him. Eijirou didn’t think he’d looked away, and that was just. It was something. Eijirou’s stomach flipped and flopped. Katsuki patted the space next to him on the sofa and Eijirou made his way back over. No sooner had he sat down, than Katsuki’s arm circled his waist and pulled him close. Katsuki buried his face into Eijirou’s shoulder, and Eijirou echoed his hum.

“Wish you’d wised up sooner,” Bakugou said, voice slightly muffled. “Coulda been doing this for fuckin’ ages.”

“Well, we can do it now, and as much as we want,” Eijirou said, twisting to press a kiss into Katsuki’s hair.

“Mm,” Katsuki mumbled, pushing his face down harder. “Wanna post something mushy on social media?”

“Shouldn’t we run it by the PR team, first?” Eijirou asked.

Katsuki looked up at him. “Fuck that. Tell the world you’re in love with me already.“

Eijirou grinned, because he did.

[legally-blonde-ish]

JOURNAL 4.26.22

There have been so many points in my adult life where I felt like I was spinning uncontrollably toward rock bottom. A few of those times I crashed HARD and on others, I managed to divert my trajectory before it was too late. Luckily, this feels like the latter...

I'm 100% one of those people who, despite what they show the world, is hopelessly in love with love. For better or for worse, I've had some of the best and worst experiences because of this. I've been lucky enough to love quite a few of my partners but I've only really been truly, deeply, head over heels in love with 4 people.

AM - This was my foolish, reckless first love. I gave my whole heart to him for years. He was so sweet and a great first love but as adults, our relationship was still stuck in high school. He's that guy that always has to have me blocked or unfriended because he can't trust himself not to reach out when things are hard. I guess that's the problem with growing up and going through all the teenage angst with someone... you know they will always know the real you, the deep dark raw you that the world can't touch.

DW - This was my first adult love. We met my second year of college and still have our on and off moments to this day. This love is one that makes me feel safe. It's the best and the worst. I know he will always be there unless I cut it off but he's never going to make a move without me pushing him. This love is safe because it's predictable and he's been there through every ugly, painful moment my 20s have thrown at me. The only part I hate about this love is that sometimes I feel like we're too comfortable. For example, this time around, we've been TALKING for almost a year and he doesn't seem to think we need to move this in any direction... I'm not even his girlfriend. I'm ready to build a life and he's comfortable playing it safe.

AN - This is the love that destroyed me. We all know that song "10 Things I Hate About You"? Yeah, all signs point to this guy. I gave him my whole world and he proposed. It was magical and perfect and I thought I was so completely, madly in love, which I was until he crushed my heart into a million little pieces and left me after flying me 3,000 miles to visit him. This love was a whirlwind and looking back now I can see that it was everything I told myself I'd never get myself into. It was toxic and controlling and crushed every part of my insides. When I was in the thick of it you couldn't tell me anything. I was more than happy to spend the rest of my life with him.

DB - This love is the most real love I've ever felt in my life. It's messy and imperfect. He's honest even if I don't like what he has to say. Yes, I've ended up sad or hurt but never on purpose, and nine times out of ten I've hurt my own feelings by being in my head too much. This love lives in my head and my heart rent-free. It's that romance movie, epic novel kind of love that sets my soul on fire but like anything good in my life, there's a catch. This love is one-sided. He knows how I feel and he's not completely without feelings toward me but it's complicated. No matter what happens this love will always be the love that showed me that true love is real and showed me that what I felt with that ex wasn't it. This love pushes and challenges me to be the best I can be. This love has changed my life in so many ways. This love is the love I hope I can hold on to for the rest of my life and if I can't, at least I'll know what to look for.

I can be the biggest most heartless bitch in the world if I think it's going to protect me because I give all of myself way too easily. This one is for the girls that love with reckless abandon... May we find someone worthy of that love.

XOXO - E

[redditnosleep]

I'm A Search And Rescue Officer For The US Forest Service, I Have Some Stories To Tell

by searchandrescuewoods.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 (Final)

Well, once again, you guys have blown me away with your staggering amount of responses to my stories! There's no way I can respond to each of you individually, so I'm just going to address some common things again, and then move on to the stories. I'm going to write as many as I can think of, in addition to my friend's stories, and I will probably not update again until I get a chance to answer some questions that I myself have for my superiors.

Alright, so the common questions I found you all had:

I am not comfortable talking about where exactly I work, unfortunately. In all reality some of the things I've mentioned here could get me in a lot of trouble or fired, so it's best if I just don't discuss too much. I will say that I'm in the United States, and in an area that is comprised of a great deal of wilderness. We're talking hundreds of miles of thick forest, with a mountain range and a few lakes.

There is still a great amount of interest in the stairs, and luckily for you guys my friend has a story that I think you'll all be very interested in. I'll go into that more at the end of this update. As for whether or not I have ever thought of asking my superiors about them, I have, but again, I don't want to risk my job. However, one of my former superiors no longer works as an SAR officer, and it's possible that he may be willing to talk to me about it. I'll be speaking to him later in the week, and I will let you all know what comes of that.

As far as advice on becoming an SAR officer goes, I think the best advice I can give is to contact your local Forest Service office and see if they offer and training courses, or what the qualifications are. I've been doing this for years, and I started out as a volunteer helping on SAR operations. It's a great job, despite the occasional tragic situations, and I wouldn't want to do anything else.

Alright, let's move on to the stories:

The first happened on a case that I went out on right after I got out of training, and was still pretty new to everything. Before I took this job, I was a volunteer, so I had a basic idea of what to expect, but on those calls you're mostly dealing with finding lost people after vets have found signs of them. As an SAR officer, you go out for all kinds of cases, from animal bites to heart attacks. This case got called in early in the morning, from a young couple who were up on one of the trails that goes by the lake. The husband was completely hysterical, and we couldn't really figure out what was going on. We could hear the woman screaming in the background, and he was begging us to come up there right away. When we get there, we see him holding his wife, and shes got something in her arms. She's screaming these awful, almost animal-like screams, and he's sobbing. He sees us and he screams at us to help them, to please get an ambulance up there. Now obviously we can't just drive an ambulance up the walking path, so we ask him if his wife needs help, or if she can walk on her own. He's still hysterical, but he manages to tell us that it's not his wife that needs help. I go over while one of the vets tries to calm him down, and I ask the wife what's going on. She's rocking, holding something, and just shrieking, over and over. I crouch down and see that whatever she's holding, it's covering her with blood. That's when I notice the sling on her front and my heart sinks. I ask her to tell me what's going on, and I sort of pry her arms gently open so I can see what she's holding. It's her baby, obviously dead. His head is caved in on one side, and he's covered in scratches. Now, I've seen dead bodies before, but something about this whole situation hits me hard. I have to take a second to compose myself, and I get up and go get one of the other vets, who's standing by. I tell him that it's a dead kid, and he sort of pats my shoulder and tells me he'll deal with it. It took us over an hour to get this woman to let us see her kid. Every time we try to take him from her, she flips out and tells us we can't have him, that he'll be okay if we just leave her alone and let her help him. But eventually, one of the vets manages to calm her down, and she gives us the body. We took it back to the med area, but when the EMTs showed up, they told us that there was never any hope of saving the kid. He'd died instantly from the trauma to his head. I was good buddies with one of the nurses who met them at the hospital, and she told me later what had happened. Turns out the couple had been walking with the baby in the sling, and they stopped because the kid was fussing. The dad takes the kid and is holding him, looking out over this little gully by the path. The mom comes to stand next to him, but she ends up stepping on a loose patch of soil, and she trips. She falls into the dad, who drops the kid, who ends up falling about twenty feet down this little gully onto the rocks at the bottom. The dad climbed down and recovered the kid, but he'd fallen right on his head, and was dead by the time he got there. The baby was only about fifteen months old. It was a total freak accident, a series of events that coalesced into the worst possible outcome. Probably one of the more awful calls I've been on.

I haven't seen a lot of animal bites in my time as an SAR officer, mostly because there aren't that many animals that come around the area. While there are bears in the area, they tend to stay pretty far away from people, and sightings are highly unusual. Most of the animals you'll see are small ones, like coyotes, raccoons, or skunks. What we do see frequently, though, are moose. And let me tell you, moose are nasty fuckers. They'll chase after anything for any reason, and god help you if you get in between a female and its baby. One of the more amusing calls was of a guy who'd gotten chased down by an absolutely massive male moose, and was stuck up a tree. Took us almost an hour to get him down, and when he was finally on solid ground again, he looks at me and says: 'God damn. Them fuckers is big up close.' I guess that's not really a scary story, but we still laugh about that one.

I honestly don't know how I'd forgotten this story, but it is, by far, the scariest thing that's happened to me. I guess maybe I've tried so long to forget about it that it just didn't come to mind right away. As someone who spends literally all of their time in the woods, you don't ever want to let yourself get scared of being alone, or out in the middle of nowhere. That's why when you have experiences like this, you tend to just forget about them and move on. This is, to date, the only thing that's ever made me really seriously consider if this job is the right one for me. I don't really like talking about it much, but I'll do the best I can to remember it all. As I recall, this took place right at the end of spring. It was a typical lost-child call: a four-year-old girl had wandered away from her family's campsite, and had been missing for about two hours. Her parents were completely despondent, and told us what most parents do; my kid would never wander away, she's so good about staying close, she's never done anything like this before. We assure the parents that we'll do everything we can to find her, and we spread out in a standard search formation. I was partnered with one of my good buddies, and we were sort of casually holding conversation while we hiked. I know it sounds callous, but you do sort of become desensitized when you've done this long enough. It becomes the norm, and I think to a certain extent you have to learn to desensitize yourself in order to work this job. We search for a good two hours, going well beyond where we think she'd be, and we come out of a small valley when something makes us both stop in unison. We freeze and look at each other, and there's almost a sensation like a plane depressurizing. My ears pop, and I have this odd sensation of having dropped about ten feet. I start to ask my buddy if he felt that, but before I can, we hear the loudest sound I've ever heard in my life. It's almost like a freight train passing directly by us, but it's coming from every direction at once, including above and below us. He screams something to me, but I can't hear him over this deafening roar. Understandably freaked out, we look all around us, trying to find the source of the sound, but neither of us sees anything. Of course, my first thought is a landslide, but we're not near any cliffs, and even if we were, it would have hit us by now. The sound goes on and on, and we're trying to yell to each other, but even standing close together we can't hear anything but this sound. Then, as suddenly as it starts, it stops, like someone threw a switch and cut it off. We stand there for a second, perfectly still, and slowly the normal sounds of the woods come back. He asks me what the fuck just happened, but I just kind of shrug, and we stand there looking at each other for a minute. I get on the radio and ask if anyone else just heard the end of the fucking world, but no one else hears it, even though we're all within shouting distance of each other. My buddy and I just sort of shrug it off and keep going. About an hour later, we all check up on the radios, and no one's found the little girl. Most of the time, we won't search when it gets dark, but because we don't have any kind of lead on her, a few of us decide to keep going, including me and my buddy. We keep close together, and we're calling out for her every couple of minutes. At this point, I'm hoping beyond hope that we find her, because while I may not like kids, the idea of them being out all alone in the dark is awful. The woods can be intimidating to kids in the daylight; at night, well, it's a whole different beast. But we're not seeing any signs of her, or getting any responses, and around midnight, we decide to turn around and head back to the rendezvous point. We're about halfway back when my buddy stops and shines his light to the right of us, into a really thick deadfall, or group of dead trees. I ask him if he's heard a response, but he just tells me to be quiet a second and listen. I do, and in the distance, I can hear what sounds like a kid crying. We both call the girl's name and listen for any kind of response, but it's just this really faint crying. We head in the direction of this deadfall and go around it, calling her name over and over. As we get closer to the crying, I start getting this weird feeling in my gut, and I tell my buddy that something isn't right. He tells me he feels the same way, but we can't figure out what it is. We stop where we are, and call the girl's name again. And at the same time, we both figure it out. The crying is on a loop. It's the same little hitching sob, then wail, then quiet hiccup, repeated over and over. It's exactly the same every time, and without saying another word, we both take off running. It's the only time I've ever lost my composure like that, but something about it was so incredibly wrong, and neither of us wanted to stay out there anymore. When we got back to the rendezvous, we asked if anyone else had heard anything strange, but no one else knew what we were talking about. I know it sounds sort of anti-climactic, but that call fucked me up for a long time. As for the little girl, we never found a trace of her. We keep an eye out for her, and all the other people who we've never found, but frankly I doubt we'll ever find anything.

Of the missing persons calls I've gone out on, only a handful have ever resulted in a complete disappearance, meaning no trace of the person and no body ever found. But sometimes, finding a body just leads to more questions than answers. Here are some of the bodies we've found that have become infamous in our team:

A teenage boy who's remains were recovered almost a year after he vanished. We found the top of his skull, two finger bones, and his camera almost forty miles from where he was last seen. The camera, sadly, was destroyed.

The pelvis of an older man who had vanished a month earlier. That was all we found.

The lower jaw and right foot of a two-year-old boy on the highest peak of a ridge in the southern part of the park.

The body of a ten-year-old girl with Down's Syndrome, almost twenty miles from where she'd vanished. She had died of exposure three weeks after going missing, and all of her clothes were intact except for her shoes and jacket. There were berries and cooked meat in her stomach when they did the autopsy. The coroner said it appeared as if someone had been taking care of her. There were no suspects ever identified.

The frozen body of a one-year-old baby, found a week after vanishing in the hollow trunk of a tree ten miles from the area he was seen last. There was fresh milk found in his stomach, but his tongue was gone.

A single vertebra and right kneecap of a three-year-old girl, found in the snow almost twenty miles from the campground her family had been at the previous summer.

Now on to a couple of the stories my friend told me. I mentioned that you were all interested in the stairs, and you're in luck: he's had a closer encounter with them. Though he doesn't have any explanation for them, he does have a bit more experience with them than I do.

My buddy has been an SAR officer for about seven years, he started when he was a junior in college, and he had a very similar experience when he first encountered the stairs. His trainer told him almost the same thing mine did, which was to never go near, touch, or ascend them. For the first year, he did just that, but apparently his curiosity got the better of him, and on one call he broke away from the line and went to go check a set of them out. He said they were about ten miles from the path where a teenage girl had vanished, and the dogs were following a scent. He was on his own, lagging behind the main group, when he saw a set of stairs off to his left. They looked like they were from a new house, because the carpeting was pristine and white. He said that as he got closer, he didn't feel any different, or hear any weird noises. He was expecting something to happen, like bleeding from his ears or collapsing, but he got right up next to them and didn't feel anything. The only thing, he said, that was odd was that there was absolutely no debris on the steps. No dirt, leaves, dust, anything. And there didn't appear to be any signs of animal or insect activity in the immediate area, which he found strange. It was less like things were avoiding them, and more like they just happened to be in a relatively barren part of the forest. He touched the stairs, and didn't feel anything except that sort of sticky feeling you get from new carpet. Making sure his radio was on, he slowly climbed the stairs; he said it was terrifying, because the way they'd been stigmatized, he wasn't really sure what was going to happen to him. He joked that half of him expected to be teleported to some other dimension and the other half was watching for a UFO to come swooping down. But he got to the top with little event, and he stood there looking around. But, he said, the longer he stood on the top step, the more he felt like he was doing something very, very wrong. He described it as the feeling you'd get if you were in a part of a government building you have no business being in. As if someone was going to come and arrest you, or shoot you in the back of the head, at any second. He tried to brush it off, but the feeling got stronger and stronger, and that's when he realized that he couldn't hear anything anymore. The sounds of the forest were gone, and he couldn't hear his own breathing. It was like some kind of weird, awful tinnitus, but more oppressive. He climbed back down and rejoined the search, and didn't mention what he'd done. But, he said, the weirdest part came after. His trainer was waiting back at the welcome center after the search ended for the day, and he cornered my buddy before he could leave. He said his trainer had this look of intense anger, and he asked what was wrong. 'You went up them, didn't you.' My buddy said it wasn't phrased as a question. He asked how his trainer knew. The trainer just shook his head. 'Because we didn't find her. The dogs lost her scent.' My buddy asked what that had to do with anything. The trainer asked how long he'd been on the stairs, and my buddy said no more than a minute. The trainer gave him this really awful, almost dead-eyed look, and told him that if he ever went up another set of stairs again, he'd be fired. Immediately. The trainer walked away, and I guess he's never answered any of the questions my buddy has asked him about it since.

My buddy has been involved in a lot of missing persons cases where there's never been a trace of them found. I mentioned David Paulides, and my buddy said he can confirm that those stories are, for the most part, accurate. He said that most of the time, if the person isn't found right away, they're either never found, or they're found weeks, months, or years later, in places they can't possibly have gotten to. One story he told me really stood out that involved a five-year-old boy with a severe mental disability.

The little boy vanished from a picnic area in the late fall. In addition to the mental disability, he was also physically handicapped, and his parents explained over and over that he simply could not have vanished. It was impossible. Someone had to have taken him. My buddy said they searched for this kid for weeks, going miles out of the accepted range, but it was like he'd never been there. The dogs couldn't pick up his scent anywhere, not even in the picnic area where he'd apparently vanished from. Suspicion fell on the parents, but it was pretty clear that they were devastated, and hadn't done anything sinister to their kid. The search was concluded about a month later, and my buddy said everyone had pretty much forgotten it by later in the winter. He was out on a training op in the snow, on one of the higher peaks, when he came across something in the snow. He said he saw it from far away at first, and when he got closer, he realized it was a shirt, frozen and sticking part way out of the powder. He recognized it as belonging to the kid, because it had a distinctive pattern. About twenty yards away, he found the kid's body, laying partially buried in the snow. My buddy said there was no way the kid had been dead for any more than a few days, even though he'd been missing for almost three months. The kid was curled around something, and when my buddy brushed off the snow to see what it was, he said he almost couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was a big chunk of ice, that had been carved crudely to look sort of like a person. The kid was holding it so tight that it had frostbitten his chest and hands, which my buddy could tell even with the decay that had taken place. He radioed the rest of the crew, and they took the body off the mountain. Now, he recapped all of this for me, and to put it simply, there was no way this kid could have both survived for almost three months on his own, or have gotten to this peak. There was no physical way this child could have walked almost fifty miles and ended up on the top of a god damn mountain. To top it off, there was nothing in the kid's stomach or colon. Nothing, not even water. It was like, my buddy said, the kid had been taken off the face of the earth, put in suspended animation, and dropped on this mountain months later, only to die of exposure. He's never really gotten over that one.

The last story I'll share from him was one that took place relatively recently, only a few months ago.

They were out doing a recon for mountain lions, because there had been several reports of sightings in the last couple of days. One of our jobs is to scout out the areas where these animals are seen to ensure that if they are in the area, we can warn people and close off those trails. He was out on his own in a very heavily forested part of the park toward dusk when he heard what sounded like a woman screaming in the distance. Now, as most of you know, when a mountain lion screams, it sounds almost exactly like a woman being brutally murdered. It's unsettling, but far from abnormal. My buddy radioed back and let ops know that he'd heard one, and that he was going to keep going to see if he could figure out where its territory started. He heard the mountain lion scream a couple more times, always from the same spot, and determined the approximate area of the mountain lion's territory. He was about to head back when he heard another scream, this time within only a few yards of him. Of course, he freaks out and starts heading back at a much faster pace, because the last thing he wants is to run into a god damn mountain lion and get mauled to death. As he got back on the path and started heading back, the screaming followed him, and he broke into a jog. When he was about a mile from ops, the screaming stopped, and he turned around to see if it was following him. It was almost night by this point, but he said in the distance, just before the path rounded a corner, he could see what looked like a male figure. He called out to them, warning them that the paths were closed, and that he needed to come back to the welcome center. The figure just stood there, and my buddy started to walk over. When he was about ten yards away, the figure took, as he described, 'and impossibly long step' toward him and let out the same scream my buddy had been hearing. My buddy didn't even say anything, he just turned and sprinted back to ops, never looking behind him. By the time he got back, the screaming had moved back into the woods. He didn't mention it to anyone else, just said that there was a mountain lion in the area and that they would need to close those paths until the animal could be located and moved.

I'm going to end this entry here, since it's turned into a huge wall of text. I'm going to be heading out on a yearly training op tomorrow morning, so I'll be gone until early next week. I'll be meeting with a lot of former trainers and buddies who work in other areas of the park, and I'll be asking around about any stories they'd like to share. I'm so glad you guys have been interested in my stories, and once I'm back from this op, I'll continue to share them!

[lalainajanes]

a part 2 for your "Klaus and Caroline own a restaurant" AU where Klaus makes Caroline soup because she's sick (or anything really, I love that drabble so much. Well actually anything you write but I'm getting off topic hehe)

Ooh, I like that one too! Thanks, Sara!

Food (And) Fights - Part Two

Klaus iscareful to keep his steps quiet, to avoid the creaky spots in the floor. He’slearned the hallway to Caroline’s office well in the last two years and he hasa sneaking suspicion that she’s hiding in her office this morning for a reason.

It’s aThursday, one of their busiest evenings of the week. Their reservation list isfull and service starts in a few hours. Klaus hasn’t seen Caroline yet which issomething of a first. Her assistant, April, had popped into the kitchen tocheck on things periodically. Klaus had never thought much of the timid mouseof a girl – she tended to avoid him – but he’d been reluctantly impressed byher stealth. He’d only ever noticed her as she was slipping out the door, if he’dknow she was there at all.

It wasalmost as if she was purposefully avoiding him.

Klaus wasfairly certain he knew why.

He’d spentthe previous evening at Caroline’s, she’d fallen asleep on the couch, farearlier than she usually did. When he’d carried her to bed she’d seemed warmand he hadn’t been able to resist laying a hand on her forehead to check if shewas feverish. That had awoken her and she’d managed to pry her eyes open enoughto glare up at him, bat his hand away, and mutter something he hadn’t been ableto decipher (though the prickly tone had been unmistakable) when she rolledaway to bury herself in her pillow. Klaus had retreated to the living room,finished his wine and scratched out some menu ideas until he’d been tiredenough to sleep.

Sleep hadturned out to be elusive, his bed partner restless and throwing off an insaneamount of heat. Klaus had been kicked more than once, and Caroline’s breathinghad grown audible as the night wore on, becoming hoarse scratch as she tossedfitfully.

He’d readiedhimself to fight a battle in the morning. Caroline had never taken a sick or personalday in the two plus years he’d known her, too much of a control freak to let alittle thing like mere illness stop her from running the restaurant. Gettingher to take regular days off was enough of a challenge and Klaus had resortedto blackmail and bribery (though, to be fair, he benefitted from thosearrangements enormously) often to push Caroline into a little rest andrelaxation. Convincing her to stay home and recuperate was going to be achallenge, Klaus had known, even though she was quite obviously taking ill.

Unfortunatelyhis preparations had been for naught.

When he’dawoken he’d found the bed empty, a note from Caroline in the kitchen saying she’dgone in early to get a start on the day.

A tacticalretreat and a sign that she knew her position was weak. Klaus just needed topick his moment. He’d gone through his usual routine, made a pit stop at themarket on his way to the restaurant, and headed directly to the kitchen insteadof barging into Caroline’s office.

Carolinewould relax, let her guard down, and think she’d won. Klaus barked a few ordersbut was content to let the prep cooks handle things while he set up his own stationwith the ingredients he’d bought, and got to work.

A fewpeople had flitted in to ask him if Caroline was all right, Marcel, who ran thebar mentioned that she’d actually cancelleda meeting with a vendor, a sure sign that her mind over matter approach onlywent too far, while Caroline’s good friend Bonnie had popped in the vent herfrustrations about Caroline’s stubbornness, and told Klaus he’d better have aplan to get her to go home.

It waspossibly the most cordial she’d ever been to him, despite the fact that he andCaroline had passed a year together awhile back, and Klaus had strenuously resistedthe urge to comment and ruin it, had merely gestured to the chopped veg on hisboard, the chicken stock building on the stove, and assured her he’d take careof it.

The thingshe did for Caroline Forbes.

Once thesoup was finished – chicken noodle with a few embellishments, no need to messwith the classics – he’d packed it up in a To Go container, along with a loafof just baked bread, and headed to Caroline’s office.

He pausesjust outside the door, it’s cracked a bit and he can hear her moving around.His timing is fortuitous and Caroline’s soon letting out deep, hacking coughs, grittingout, “Nope, no. I refuse,” once she’sdone.

Klausnudges the door wider with his foot, “Talking to yourself is not a good sign,love. A sign of insanity, is it not?”

Caroline’swide eyed when she glances up, and Klaus notes the shadows and redness marringtheir usual bright blue unhappily. Her office is warm but she’s wearing one ofhis sweaters, a thick wool thing, and he’s fairly certain she’s got severallayers additional layers of her own on underneath. She clears her throat,attempts a smile, “Hey. How’s set up going?”

“Perfect,as always. How’s trying to pretend you’re not sick and miserable going?”

He can tellshe considers arguing, mouth thinning. But a shudder wracks her frame, aviolent sneeze tearing out of her and her eyes water as she reaches for atissue. Klaus sighs and enters the room fully, closing the door behind himwhile watching Caroline expectantly. She deflates slightly, leaning back in herchair and tossing her pen aside. She rubs her temple with the heel of her hand,“Ugh, my head is killing me. But we have that magazine profile scheduled nextweek and…”

“Not untilWednesday, plenty of time,” Klaus points out, cutting her off. He sets the baghe’d brought on her desk, circling it to come up behind her. He lifts her hair,laying a hand on her neck, finding it sweat damp and hot to the touch. Sheleans into him with a sigh, “Mmm, your hands feel nice. Cold.”

“They’renot. You’re just feverish.”

“Fevers arefor losers,” Caroline mumbles.

He huffsout a laugh, leaning forward to press a kiss to the crown of her head as hepulls her chair out from her desk. “Fevers are merely a sign that you need toslow down. It’s not going to go away if you ignore it, Caroline.”

She’s stillreluctant, her movements sluggish as he urges her to her feet, “What, did youget a medical degree, Dr. Klaus?”

“Do youwant to go to a doctor?” Klaus asks reasonably. “Because I’d be delighted totake you and have the opportunity to say I told you so when he tells you totake a few days for recovery.”

That would irritate Caroline like few other things.

She makes asoft noise, half grumble half growl, and turns to face him. “One day. Tops. Ican’t miss a weekend.”

Klausrefrains from arguing that she very well could– her staff was excellent, well trained and more than capable of handlingthings without Caroline’s direct supervision for a bit – knowing that it wouldonly get her back up and he rather thought he was winning at the moment. Noneed to spoil it.

Heretrieves her coat, holds it open and assists her in shrugging it on. He tipsher chin up to look into her eyes, “I made soup, it should help. Drink some teatoo, will you? Josh is going to run you home since I’m sure me leaving now willonly make you worry more even though I’d be back in plenty of time for service.”

Caroline’sblinking up at him, warmth and something like shock softening her gaze, “Youmade me soup?”

He’s unsurewhy that’s giving her pause, “I make you food all the time.”

“Yeah,because you kinda get off on watching me eat it, Chef Perv.”

It’s saidwith a tiny smirk and Klaus can’t deny it. “You make the most delightfulnoises, sweetheart.”

“Which you’llmiss when I eat your soup. Though I’m a gross sweaty mess and probably not allthat tempting.”

He rollshis eyes, “You’re not a mess. The farthest thing from gross. Just a bit wornaround the edges. The soup will help and that knowledge is more than enough forme.”

She wrapsher arms around his waist, cuddling close and resting her forehead against hisshoulder. “Thank you,” she mumbles, pressing a chaste kiss just above his collarbefore she straightens. Seemingly resigned for now, she sighs and glancesaround her office, “You’ll call me if anything explodes? And fill me in on allthe non-life or death things later?”

“Tomorrow,”Klaus says firmly. “Because you’ll be asleep when I get to your place.”

“You don’tusually stay over on Thursdays,” Caroline says, sounding puzzled.

Slightlyexasperated Klaus shakes his head, “I do when you’re sick.”

She studieshim for a long moment, Klaus doesn’t try to hide his concern. Finally she nods,“Okay, then. I’ll see you later.”

“You will. Eatthe soup. Drink…”

“Some tea,”Caroline finishes with a teasing smile. “I know you think it cures everything,as long as it’s the right tea and not my weird tea. What was it you called thelast box I bought? Fruity garbage, I believe.”

It’ssomething they bicker over frequently and Klaus lets her tease him, gentlyushering her out of her office and towards the door that will lead them to thesmall parking lot at the back of the restaurant. Josh is waiting, ready to goas Klaus had asked. Klaus sees Caroline shiver and opens the door of the carfor her. “In,” he tells her, ignoring her annoyed sigh. “Text me when you gethome, yeah?”

“I thoughtI was the worry wort in this relationship,” Caroline grumbles, bucking herselfin. “You’re supposed to be Mr. Cool and Laconic Moody Pants.”

Klaus doesn’ttake the bait, knowing that bickering will only delay her departure and thesooner Caroline’s comfortable in her flat the better.

He won’tdeny her little peevishness, not when he’d won.