#My Blood is the song that most represents James and Sirius and no one can deny

[sweeethinny]

My Blood

it started as a fanfic for @startanewdream, inspired by the song My Blood, but I couldn't find a decent ending, and I don't want this fanfic to get lost in my documents, so here it is, a big compilation of years of friendship between Sirius and James - Jily Lives

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James had always wanted a brother, living alone was lonely, and as much as he loved his parents more than life itself - long before he even understood what love was - he wanted someone to share secrets with and to be… a brother.

He thought having a brother was having a best friend forever, and James wanted that.

When he met Sirius, he didn't know, of course, he thought he was just a nice, funny guy, and that they could be friends if he wanted to too, how the hell would James imagine that short, long-haired little boy would be a brother to him.

Sirius was there with him on James' first detention, and when they figured out how to get into the kitchen. James was there when Sirius told him about Regulus and his parents, and when he bought a dirty magazine, stuffed with pictures of athletic women in bikinis and in sexy poses.

They were together when they first changed and finally revealed to Remus what they had been planning all along their vacation. They were together when Remus yelled at Sirius for taking Snape to the passage, and James was there to fight Sirius too, but also to talk to him. James was there when Remus accepted Sirius' apology.

Sirius was there when James asked Lily out the first time, and he was there when he returned from his first date with her - almost two years later. He heard James stutter for nearly an hour about how amazing and beautiful and perfect she was, even though it was two in the morning and Sirius wanted to sleep.

James was there when Sirius talked about girls too, when they talked about Hestia, he was there when he saw Sirius completely drunk, and when he saw him he ran away from home.

That night, which was snowing like never before, when Sirius knocked on James' door, eyes wide and frightened, nose red and a thin leather jacket that didn't even warm an ant, James knew they were brothers.

Brothers because James would do anything for him, because James would walk through the lava of a volcano to save Sirius, because no matter the time or the situation, they would be together.

He was his family too.

"No need to worry, you're safe here," James whispered to Sirius during one of his panic attacks, lying next to him as he sobbed raggedly. "It's okay now, I promise." And he promised, because even if tomorrow the world did end, James knew he and Sirius would be together.

They were together when they graduated, Sirius was there when James decided to ask Lily to marry him, and they were together when James got married. Sirius was there too when Monti died, and soon after, when Euphemia died too. The two cried together, holding each other, sharing that pain that seemed to break them inside.

"I said we'd always be together, didn't I?" Sirius said, as he was helping James with the move, even though he clearly didn't know how to screw a wall.

When James and Lily found out they were going to be parents, Sirius was the first to know, when James asked him to be godfather, they cried together too, a little drunk, and when Harry was born, Sirius was there to meet him.

They were always brothers, and James never doubted that, and when Peter betrayed them, and even before that, when Dumbledore spoke of there being a traitor among them, a wound opened up in James' chest from having to face that harsh reality. One of his best friends betrayed him, and it nearly killed his family. Probably the worst day of his life.

"Trust me, I promise this time I'm doing the right thing," Sirius said, eyes full of regret, looking ready to cry in that cold, empty room, in that strange, empty house. "Stay here, I've secured the house, it's all very safe, but I need you to trust me."

"I've always trusted you," James said, because it was true, and there wasn't a day when it was different.

‘I know I was wrong, that I-’

"Pads." James hugged him, wanting him to stop apologizing, because he knew it hurt Sirius too. Peter's betrayal, Remus in hiding… James knew how he felt. ‘It's okay, I promise. Everything will be fine, I trust you.”

And James did, because if there was one thing James was proud to be, it was loyal to his friends. He had been loyal to Peter until a week ago.

"Sirius looked sad," Lily said later that night, lying in their new bed, Harry in the middle of them sleeping peacefully.

"He-" James broke off, having to clear his throat to keep from letting go of the tears that seemed to want to come more than ever. "He's just feeling guilty, but I've already said he's not to blame for anything."

In the years that followed, in the midst of all that terror, that anguish, Sirius was there, fought with them, cried and laughed with James, counseled Harry, fought with James when things started to get out of hand and kept him from wanting to act like a hero and risk his own life. They were no longer those reckless teenagers who weren't afraid of anything, now they had seen a lot, and fear was something that haunted them constantly.

When it was James who had a panic attack in the middle of a mission after seeing Harry's face, his boy, featured in the papers as Most Wanted, Sirius was there to calm him down and to make sure he didn't screw up.

"Take a deep breath, yes, it'll be fine, we're in this together." And James knew it was true.

There wasn't a night that James didn't close his eyes and beg whoever it was that everyone was all right. Harry, Lily, Remus, Sirius… all of them. James didn't know if he would take it if he had to take the pain of losing someone he loved so much in the middle of a war. So when Sirius appeared bleeding and bruised, James felt like he was close to collapsing.

It was such an unfair world, he couldn't have his child around anymore, his only child, Remus was hiding, and now he's almost lost his brother? James didn't even know what would become of him if he had to bury Sirius, if… He stopped, washing his face in the sink and looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, forcing himself to think rationally.

Sirius is alive, as are Remus and Harry. Everything will be fine.

[softforwolfstar]

Wolfstar: “I want to go with you”

- inspired by an edit I saw a little while ago. (👇)

https://www.instagram.com/p/Byz2YXEDgnO/?igshid=ewbzpko6yvq

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A post shared by maria (@maringenue) on Jun 17, 2019 at 5:07am PDT

- This is super long I- I got really carried away lmao also I wrote this in my notes at 1:18am so if it’s bad, I blame the time. The tense kept on changing too I’m sorry-

...

“You should go with Marlene,” Remus said from behind his book. He was too afraid to look up from his book, afraid the other boy may see the bitterness in his face. He hadn’t looked up from his book since they two had locked eyes minutes ago. It was too uncomfortable.

He and Sirius were in the Gryffindor common room. It was late, the only lights in the room came from the dying embers of the fire, which gave the room a dim blood red glow, and the pale moonlight from the half crescent moon hung in the blackened sky above. Sirius was sprawled out, his face pressed into the scarlet and gold regal rug by the fire, a mop of long black hair to represent his head. Remus was curled up in a red armchair a few feet away, book in hand and a thin blanket wrapped around him. A cup of tea was spelled into the air beside him, visible steam was coming from the mug in transparent curly strokes.

Sirius propped his face up on his elbows and looked at Remus with eyes that weren’t exactly readable, but it was clear there was pain in them. “What if I don’t want to go with McKinnon?”

Remus finally looked up from his book, an eyebrow raised, and took his levitating teacup with one hand. “Right, as if I believe that,” he said, then took a sip from his tea.

“What makes you think I want to go with her?”

“I see the way you two are with each other. It’s not hard to miss, even James can see it,”

“James knows I don’t like her,” Sirius said firmly.

Remus’ other brow raised, and his head tilted to the side slightly as he once again locked eyes with Sirius. “You don’t?”

Sirius realised that that might’ve sounded bad. His eyes widened a bit and he adjusted his position so that he was sitting criss crossed on the floor. He waved his hands out in front of him. “No no- I do like her-“

“Right,” Remus had looked back down at his book then, tea still in hand. “Well, I don’t see why you’re worrying about who you’re taking to the ball. Even if you don’t take her, anybody’d be lucky to be your date. The amount of girls who you’ve rejected. They’d all be thrilled to be by your side,” he realised he sounded bitter again, but he tried to dismiss it, resisting the urge to go bright red, though he could feel his cheeks getting heated. He ripped his eyes from Sirius’ and looked into the dying fire.

“No, Remus what I’m-“

“It’s late, I should probably go to bed.” Remus said suddenly, rising from his chair, throwing the blanket over one arm of the armchair he was in seconds ago, his mug of tea, not even half drunk, still in his hand. He strode out of the room swiftly, which wasn’t much effort seeing as he was all legs.

Sirius let his arms fall by his sides, and slammed his head back onto the floor, groaning loudly.

I want to take you Remus.

“Alright there Black?” A voice called, presumably from the entrance to the dormitories judging by how far away it sounded, and the fact that he and Remus had been the only people in the common room.

“Brilliant,” Sirius said to the floor.

He heard footsteps approach him, then moments later, he felt the ground shake slightly as someone sat down beside where he was laying. They smelt of lavender and perfume. It was Marlene.

“You sure about that?” She asked as Sirius sat up, his mane of black hair a mess in his face. He took a few moments to neaten it again before he replied.

“Yeah...” He muttered to himself.

“Yeah.” He repeated, nodding. He raised his gaze from the floor to her blue eyes. Her beach blonde hair fell to her shoulders, she wore a lilac nightgown and spotted pyjama pants. “Did you... um... did you want to go to the ball with me?” He asked, feeling his heart sink at the words.

Marlene’s face lit up at the words, her face cracked into a white toothy grin, her eyes sparkled with excitement. She looked beautiful. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me for months playboy,” she replied.

Sirius moved his gaze from her to the entrance to the boy’s dormitory. He could’ve sworn he saw a glimpse of patchy sweater and tawny hair. But quickly the boy dismissed it as a trick of the mind. After all, he still couldn’t stop thinking about him.

I wanted to go with you.

...

The night of the ball came round in a flash. James had managed to get Lily Evans to go with him. When he first informed the boys of this, Sirius wouldn’t believe it.

“Bollocks!” He had exclaimed. He was seated on the arm of Remus’ armchair at the time. Remus had been in it at the time too. He had been strangely distant to Sirius ever since that night he asked Marlene to go with him to the ball.

It wasn’t until Remus actually asked Lily herself to confirm for Sirius to finally believe it. Once he had, he was crazy excited for his mate.

Peter had snagged a date with Mary MacDonald, surprisingly. Peter had never been one for “fancy dance things” so he quoted. He had always stayed back with Remus, who too didn’t like the concept. But Sirius and James had congratulated Peter all the same.

As far as Sirius, James and Peter knew, Remus wasn’t going. Which disheartened Sirius, but, in a selfish way that he hated, it was relieving. He didn’t know how he’d be seeing Remus dancing with another girl. Even if Sirius had asked a girl himself, instead of him.

The ball commensed in what would usually be the Great Hall, but was at this time, a large space. Half filled with multiple circular tables with four cushioned chairs at each one and an aisle running through the middle, leading out to the other half of the room, which was the dance floor. Due to lack of light shining through the windows at the front of the room, there was only the dim light of the bewitched roof above, which showed a clear night sky, engulfing the room in a faint blue light.

Sirius was in a white shirt and bow tie, and a black coat and pants. His long dark hair was slicked back from his face, showing off his handsome facial features. The girl beside him had her blonde hair done up neatly, and wore a white flowey dress that ironically matched Sirius’ fit. She had a layer of bright red lip stick on and wore a hefty silver necklace. She looked just as stunning as he did handsome.

“Pads!” A voice called out from behind the two as they made their way down the aisle, Marlene’s arm wrapped around Sirius’ forearm. The boy looked behind him and broke out into a grin at the sight of his best mate.

James was in a pair of black dress robes, his hair as untame as ever. Beside him was a beautiful redhead in a deep green dress that fitted her figure perfectly, she looked to be the most happy she had been in the Potter boy’s presence.

“Looking dapper as usual I see,” Sirius called, nodding in approval as he and Marlene stopped, waiting for the couple to catch up.

“Not bad yourself mate,” he replied, nodding back at him.

Lily and Marlene ended up behind the two boys, chatting away as though they were the ones going together. The four turned into a row of tables and chairs, on the hunt for a free table.

“Did you see Moons before you left?” Sirius asked as they moved.

“Last time I saw him he was helping Wormy calm down from a panic attack,”

It was as though James’ words summoned him; moments later a small boy appeared at his side. He was in a pair of beige pants, a white shirt and suspenders. It was a simple outfit, but the blonde wore it exceptionally well.

“This is terrifying,” he mumbled, giving James a scare, who had, by the looks of things, been oblivious to his appearance.

“You look fit Pete, you’re fine,” Sirius reassured the small boy, whilst James ruffled his hair, which he seemed to have put a lot of effort into.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder, a brunette had now joined the girls behind them. She was in a golden dress that flared out at the hips, similar to Marlene.

“Was there always this many people here?” Peter asked as the group finally found a table all together. James and Lily borrowed two from an empty table nearby. Peter and Mary had sat across from Sirius and James, beside James was Lily, and beside Sirius was Marlene.

Soft music began to play in the background as the group talked and laughed together animatedly. All was right.

Except, it wasn’t. Not for Sirius. Without Remus, it seemed like something was missing. Like he wasn’t able to fully enjoy himself. It didn’t occur to him that it was visible, until it was addressed.

“Ooh, I love this song!” Lily had exclaimed suddenly, a few moments after the chatter had died down. She grasped James’ forearm with excitement as she immediately stood up.

“C’mon Potter, you didn’t beg me to come with you to sit around, did you?” She said, challenge in her tone as she raised a brow at the boy, who looked at Sirius as though asking for permission.

“What’re looking at me for mate? You got the girl you’ve been pining on for six years begging for your attention now, shoo!” Sirius gave the boy a shove. And with that his mate smiled at him, before being pulled into the crowd.

“What d’you say Peter? Shall we dance too?” The soft voice of Mary MacDonald called to a very nervous looking Pettigrew boy. The small boy looked to Sirius for reassurance, to which the boy gave him a wink. That seemed to be the confidence he needed, because with that, he was up and making a tracks through the crowd.

It was just Marlene and Sirius there now. Sirius seemed to be looking anywhere but in Marlene’s direction, of whom he knew was waiting patiently for a dance herself.

He was hoping against hope he would come across a tall, tawny haired boy in the crowd, somewhere. Even if it would hurt like hell to see him with a date of his own.

It was then that something clicked. Something clicked that had been waiting to click for years now. Ever since the very first time he felt his heart clench at the sight of his mate in the Hospital Wing. Every night they’d spend in each other’s bed, talking about sweet nothings, Remus completely oblivious to the butterflies in Sirius’ stomach at the closeness, every night they’d spend atop the Astrononmy tower, Sirius talking to Remus about the stars, while he listened intently. Every late night spent in the common room, where Remus would be the shoulder Sirius cried into as they watched his mother’s letter burn in the fire. Every one of these moments, Sirius had felt something different in his heart.

Love.

Sirius was in love with Remus Lupin.

And he had to let him know.

Without a second thought, Sirius got up and delved into the crowd. He heard Marlene get up after him, and once they’d approached a clearing in it, where Sirius glimpsed James and Lily and Peter and Mary slow dancing on the dance floor, Sirius felt a hand close over his wrist. This movement made him whip round to face the owner of the hand; Marlene.

“What is wrong with you?” She asked softly. Sirius merely looked at her, he had stopped in his tracks.

“Dance with me,” she said, almost like a demand. The Black just continued to look at her. Then he shook his head, and walked right past her, down the aisle and out of the Great Hall.

He raced up the stairs, almost falling for the trick step on the moving staircase. He didn’t stop running until he was at the portrait of the Fat Lady, to which he practically breathed the password to, and rushed down the portrait hole.

“Moony?” He called from the common room, strands of his black hair littered his face, and his shirt had untucked itself, but he hardly cared.

“Moons!” He called again, rushing up the stairs to the boy’s dormitories.

“Sirius?” An inquisitive voice replied. Remus was on his bed reading his novel. As soon as Sirius spotted him, he rushed towards him, crashing down on the bed beside him.

“Remus- I...”

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at the ball, you have a date.” Remus cut in, furrowing his brows.

Sirius merely shook his head. “No. I- I wanted it- I want to go with you.”

“What?”

“Moony, will you come to the dance with me?” Sirius asked, looking into the amber eyes of the boy he loved.

“Bit late, isn’t it?” Remus cocked a brow.

“One dance,” Sirius looked at him with pleading grey eyes.

“Why?”

“I had... I realised something. Something I should’ve realised years ago,” Sirius spoke quickly, breathlessly. As he did, he moved closer. Until their faces were inches apart.

“Sirius... what are you-“

The rest of the sentence was cut off by Sirius’ lips crashing into Remus’. It was hot and desperate. It took a moment, but soon enough the young werewolf melted into it, and their mouths began to move in sync. It was like something in that moment clicked for the two of them. Like the final piece of the puzzle fell into place with that desperate, passionate kiss.

Sirius Black was in love with Remus Lupin, and Remus Lupin was in love with Sirius Black.

[dottodotfestival]

D2D IN FOCUS

• HEAVY LUNGS •

Born from friendship this loud and proud Bristolian quartet formed in May 2017. With a thirst for artistic and sonic self-expression, they burst onto the post-punk scene with a frenetic bang, their debut EP “Abstract Thoughts” kicking off their journey in a stream of static aggression. Since their packed out show at Crofters Rights, they have set their sights on delivering a loud and agile performance. Their music style and attitude reflects this perfectly, going as far as to record an EP in three days.

“It’s not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It’s about the ride, for Christ’s sake. Irving Feffer said that. We like to think he was right”

However, what these guys don’t take lightly is their respect for each other. The bond that these four share is palpable, showcased in their EP “Straight To CD” released February 2018. They described their relationship with each other as “aggressively caring” which is evident throughout the collection of true blue tracks. Even with all of the love they put into this EP, they still maintain their take no prisoners attitude. “This is the EP your mother told you to worry about. Forget your fears and open your ears”

The love this band receives stretches further than just that of the four members: Danny Nedelko (Lead Vocals), George Garratt (Drums/Backing Vocals), James Minchall (Bass), Oliver Southgate (Guitar/Synths/SFX). The band's lead singer has close ties to band IDLES, their second single from their second album “Danny Nedelko” being solely inspired by the frontman. A politically charged and dynamic track about immigration and the struggles of discrimination within the UK.

In turn, Heavy Lungs released “Blood Brothers” an ode to lead singer of IDLES Joe Talbot. Both bands combined the two tracks into a 7″ ‘Split Single’ released on 30th November 2018. A physical representation of the respect and friendship that both artistic talents have for each other. Together, the bands sold out a UK tour, receiving huge appraisals up and down the country.

• BESS ATWELL •

Bess Atwell is "your new ethereal folk-pop princess" (Wonderland Magazine). In 2015, not long after dropping out of university to pursue music, Atwell garnered the attention of major news outlets after a slew of showcases for The Great Escape Festival. The Independent and The Guardian were among those impressed by the artist’s performances, describing her as “a promising folk poet of suppression and inner anxiety” and “a gifted singer-songwriter with a voice like slow, cool water”.

The release of debut album ‘Hold Your Mind’ in 2016 saw Atwell attract the attention of critics and public alike while picking up radio plays on BBC Radio One, Two and Six Music together with live sessions for Steve Lamacq and Jo Whiley’s shows. Atwell spent the following year gigging, including several sold out headline shows.

The former solo project has now evolved into a full band sound, soaked in four-part vocal harmony fulfilling Atwell’s desire to create a more dynamic live show, with traces of traditional folk music. Atwell’s single ‘Grace’ is the more restrained, intimate successor of her August offering ‘Swimming Pool’, both of which have been added to the playlists of BBC Radio 6 Music.

This month Bess revealed details of a new EP to be released later this month! ‘Big Blue’ was recorded last summer at Soup Studios in East London with producer Giles Barrett (John Grant, Johnny Flynn, Goat Girl). Bess and her band worked on the arrangements in their hometown of Brighton before taking them into the studio for four ambitious days of tracking. Of the EP Bess says “I wanted to release a small project which would hopefully represent a refinement in my sound. The 5 tracks explore conflicting themes on identity, romanticism and reality”

Fans of Sharon Van Etten, Fleet Foxes, and The National should heavily underline Bess Atwell’s set on their festival plans this year. Check out her most recent single ‘Cherry Baby’ below.

• MISSIO •

Bearded besties Matthew Brue and David Butler became the duo MISSIO back in 2015 when Brue invited Butler to collaborate on a few songs for his solo project. In Butler's converted garage/home studio they began crafting their brooding, synthesised sound, releasing hit tracks such as "I Don't Even Care About You," "I Run to You," and "Can I Exist?” which eventually led them to making their debut appearance at SXSW Festival in 2016.

Snapped up and signed by RCA Records in 2017, MISSIO coined their sound to a soulful, alternative and EDM landscape which blew up upon the release of their attention grabbing single ‘Middle Fingers’. The track featured on their debut album Loner and topped the “Alt-18 Countdown” on Sirius XM’s Alt Nation in addition to placing Top 10 on the Billboard Alternative Songs Chart.

These musical misfits continued to ride the wave of success and embarked on an 18 month road trip to which their latest album ‘The Darker The Weather, The Better The Man’ was born. Paying homage to Brue’s roots of suffering with mental illness and in alignment with the utterly honest theme of most Missio tracks, he recalls: “We were driving through East Washington, it was snowy, beautiful, and really quiet. Those words, ‘The Darker The Weather, The Better The Man’ came into my mind. Being an artist, I feel like that’s where my psyche is a lot of the time. For some reason, I believed the more struggles I had personally, the better my art was. In retrospect, I know it’s bullshit. Regardless, it was the first song we wrote.”

Take a listen to their track “Everybody Gets High” (which has almost hit 37 million views on YouTube) and make sure to check them out at this year’s festival!