#Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword

[oretal]

Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword

A friend of mine wanted me to spread the word of their friend's kickstarter for their game called Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword @teambrokekids

I can't directly post the link to it for some reason but embedding it in text and images work. Do consider checking it out!

[hashbrowns180]

A friend released a demo of his game called Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword on Steam and I drew fan art of it. Definitely check it out when you get the chance.

[arc-gx]

🍄‍🟫 Hey You! 🍄

Do you like mushrooms? Do you like puzzle platformers? Do you like Big Swords?!

Then you should check out Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword, the only game where you can be a mushroom with a big grass sword (source just trust me bro)

It's got adventure, it's got story, it's got a bird? but what it doesn't have is money :( which is why you can support it on Kickstarter 💃

There's a ton of cool rewards, and if we get enough funding we'll be able to make the full game with all the crazy story ideas and an even bigger sword :o

anyways you should play the demo available free on steam and then back it so that i can get paid for writing music o7

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Found in Glimwood Tangle

The story of how Amity and Danny found each other in Glimwood Tangle and together started their journey to beat the gym challenge and take on Galar's champion! Danny Phantom AU where Danny and company are pokémon and Amity Park is their pokémon trainer.

Written for @crossoverdanuary Week, Day six: General video games Pokémon Sword & Shield | Momentum

I never played video games as a kid, and now as an adult I still haven't played that many. (Although I'm really enjoying Paranormasight right now. If I'd finished it, I might have used it for the crossover instead.) Pokémon Shield was my first ever pokémon game and my second ever video game period, and I know people say it's one of the less good pokémon games but I still have a certain fondness for it.

AO3 Link

[No Warnings Apply]

There was a white-haired girl in the forest, probably only seven or eight years old. Her white dress was stained with grass and dirt and moss. She was sitting on a tree stump. She was crying. She was lost.

He could remember sitting right where she was now, lost and crying... back when he was a boy and not a stump. Curiously, he approached her. He moved slowly, cautiously, trying not to startle her. But she startled anyway when she finally noticed him.

"Ah! A pokémon!" she shouted, falling off the stump and scrambling away. "Please don't hurt me!"

He tilted his head, watching silently with big, round eyes, careful not to move any closer and scare her away. 

Her own eyes were wide with fear. She probably knew that wild pokémon were dangerous. But then, why was she here? Why had she wandered into Glimwood Tangle where it was so dark you could hardly see what was in front of you because the only light came from luminescent mushrooms. Why would she come to a place where the paths were so winding and confusing that even grown-ups sometimes got lost? Why would she go somewhere where ghost pokémon and psychic pokémon lived in such large numbers?

The Glimwood Tangle had been scary back when he was a boy. It must have been scary to her, too.

"H-hey," she said with a trembling voice. "You have green eyes, like me." It was true. Hers were even so bright they could almost be glowing, just like his were. "I've never seen a Phantump with green eyes before. I've only ever seen them with red eyes. But... I don't think you're a shiny Phantump, are you? You just have green eyes."

She seemed to be calming down now, so he risked floating a little bit closer to her. He hovered around her, checking to see if she was hurt. Her knees were bruised, but other than that, she looked okay.

"Dad says wild pokémon are dangerous, but you don't seem like you're gonna hurt me," she said, wiping the tear tracks from her cheeks. "My name is Amity, Amity Park. Do you have a name, little Phantump?"

He keened a response. I don't know. I can't remember.

Of course, she couldn't understand. She shuddered at the sound of his voice, but she didn't try to get away.

"Well... you've gotta have a name," she said. "Hm.... How about Danny? I always thought that was a nice name, don't you? You can be Danny the Phantump. Do you like it?"

Rather than try to answer when she wouldn't know what he was saying, he did a little flip in the air to show that he was happy. She'd picked out a good name for him, Danny. And now that she had calmed down a little, it was time to get her out of this forest.

Danny started floating away, back toward the path.

"Wait, where are you going?" Amity asked.

He stopped and turned back to look at her, nodding his wooden head for her to follow.

"You want me... to follow you?"

He did another flip of affirmation and waited as she hesitantly walked after him. She was tense, and trembling like a leaf, and stumbling on shaky legs, but she still followed, trusting him.

It had been a long time since Danny had gotten lost in these woods as a boy. Now, as a pokémon, he knew every path by heart. When they had to pass through tall grass, he floated high enough that Amity could see him, and tried to keep her away from any other pokémon he could spot.

They were almost to Ballonlea when a particularly bold and naughty impidimp jumped on Amity and she screamed.

Danny immediately flew to her rescue, hooking one of his branches around the impidimp and flinging it off. He saw that it was about to attack him next, but he tackled it and it ran away.

"Danny, you saved me!" Amity shouted, and wrapped her arms around his wooden head in an almost splintering hug.

For a moment, he let himself savor the contact. But her scream and shout would have attracted even more wild pokémon to her, and they would be here soon. He phased out of her grip and urged her forward. They weren't out of the woods yet, but they were so close. He could see the lights of Ballonlea piercing through the thick foliage of Glimwood Tangle.

"Right," Amity said determinedly as she realized what he was trying to do. "Let's keep going."

She stayed quiet and stuck close behind him, and he led the way and kept his eye out for other pokémon. Then, finally, A bright pink pokémon center stood before them, its neon sign lighting up the clearing. They had left Glimwood Tangle.

"Come on, Danny it's my turn to lead the way," Amity said. "My house is that way."

He hesitated, turning and looking back at the forest. He didn't belong in a town. Glimwood Tangle was his home. It was too bright here, too loud, too crowded.

"Do you not wanna come?" Amity asked, her face morphing into something very sad. "It's okay. I understand. Thank you for helping me. If you want to go back, I won't stop you."

Then again... Amity was his friend now, wasn't she? A friend. That was all he'd wanted since he died in those woods. A friend.

Danny did not turn back. Instead, unsure though he was, he floated forward. He cautiously followed Amity past the pokémon center, toward a big round building—the pokémon gym.

There were ropes cordoning off the entrance to the gym from the rest of the town. Amity slipped right under them and kept going without a thought.

"This year's gym challenge is going on right now, so they put these ropes up to keep gym challengers from getting lost," Amity explained. "Ballonlea can be hard to find your way around when you're not used to it."

She led the way up a hill, to a modest wooden house at the very top. It looked almost the same as every other house on the street, except the roof had been painted green instead of purple. Amity pushed open the lavender door with ease. It wasn't locked.

"Dad, I'm home!" she called.

"Amity! Sweetheart, where did you go?" A man hurried to the front doorway to wrap his daughter up in a hug.

Startled and uncertain, Danny tucked himself behind Amity, out of her father's sight.

"I was worried sick. I looked all the places you usually go, and couldn't find you. I was just calling the neighbors to see if they knew where you were. Are you alright? Your dress is all dirty. You're not hurt, are you?"

"I'm okay, now," Amity assured him, hugging him tightly back. "I heard someone in the woods calling for help. They sounded close, so I thought it would be okay if I went to help them, but whenever I got close to the voice, it would get farther away, and before I knew it, the voice was gone, and I was lost. I was really scared for a while, but then Danny came and showed me the way home."

"Danny?" her father questioned. "I don't know any Danny."

"He found me in the woods," she said. "It's okay, you can come out."

Cautiously, Danny showed himself to Amity's father.

"A wild pokémon?" he said. "Wait, but it has green eyes. I've never seen a phantump with green eyes before."

"Me neither," Amity said. "But he helped me, and protected me when another pokémon attacked. I know I'm only seven and you said I can't start training pokémon until I'm ten, but can I please please please have a pokéball so I can catch him and take care of him. Please!"

"Well... I don't know," her father said. "A pokémon is a lot of responsibility, especially when it used to be wild. I would feel much more comfortable if your first pokémon came from a breeder. I've spoken to Elena, who lives near the pokémon center and she said she'd be happy to breed a nice starter pokémon for you."

"But Danny saved me!" Amity insisted. "I want him to be my pokémon."

Her father sighed and looked back at Danny, his expression halfway between resigned and scrupulous. "Do you want to be Amity's pokémon?" he asked.

Danny keened and bobbed up and down.

"And you'll take care of her and keep her safe?"

Danny repeated the response.

Mr. Park turned to his daughter next. "And you'll take care of Danny, and make sure to train him properly?"

Amity nodded determinedly and clenched her fists.

Finally, her father sighed, giving in. "Alright, fine. I think I have a pokéball around here somewhere."

—

From that day on, Amity and Danny were partners, and Amity took her responsibility as a pokémon trainer very seriously. She would feed him every day, and talk to other pokémon trainers about how best to train him.

When his head got knocked around in a training battle with her neighbor's dwebble, Amity sanded away the splinters so they wouldn't turn into cracks.

On the day the whole family gathered around the television to watch the gym challenge finals, Amity sat on the floor, right up close, with a notebook and a pen, ready to write down everything they did so she could learn from them. Mr. Park sat behind her on the couch with Danny curled up on the seat next to him.

"You know," Mr. Park said softly, running his fingers over the wooden grooves on Danny's head. "I've never seen her so serious about anything. She's always been a light-hearted, carefree kid, but she sure cares about you."

Danny had been surprised to hear that. He'd blinked up at the man, confused. To him, Amity had always been like this. Amity was gentle, and caring, and kind. She worked hard, and studied, and did her best. It was hard to believe she was doing all this for him, and not just because it was her nature.

It was on that day that Danny swore to always protect Amity Park, no matter what.

If she was giving her all for him, then he would do the same for her.

The challenger lost to Raihan in the finals, and Raihan lost to Leon, but Amity had apparently taken a lot of notes on all the fights and was eager to apply them to her own training methods.

—

By the time Amity finally turned ten, she and Danny were inseparable. Everyone around town was so used to them, Danny hardly ever had to go in his pokéball. They were simply another feature of Ballonlea, like that weird guy who made sculptures in an alleyway and wanted to be a pokémon.

Then, on her birthday, something changed.

"Happy birthday, Amity," Mr. Park said, and he reached into his pocket, and handed her a pokéball. "I worked with Elena to pick out a good one for you."

Amity turned it around in her hands while Danny floated closer to examine it, confused. It seemed to be occupied. Danny could even catch a faint whiff of ozone coming from it. How strange.

"A pokémon?" Amity asked. "But I already have Danny."

Her father laughed. "You said you wanted to do the gym challenge this year, didn't you?" he said. "You'll need more than one pokémon if you want to have a chance of beating the champion. Even if your pokémon is as great as Danny."

"No one can beat the champion, that's why they call him Unbeatable Leon," Amity said. "But I guess you're right. As great as Danny is, I can't put all that pressure on him."

She could, Danny wanted to tell her. If Amity wanted to take on the gym challenge with him as her only pokémon, then he would fight like he'd never fought before. But Amity wasn't like that. She never gave him more than he could handle, and she wouldn't make him take on such a huge challenge alone. She was too kind for something like that.

"So which pokémon did you pick?" she asked.

"Throw it out and see," he answered with a smile, and gestured to the door to the backyard.

Once they were outside, Amity threw out the pokéball.

"Alright, pokémon, come on out!" she called.

The ball opened with a popping noise, and in a bolt of light, a little dog pokémon was standing on the moss lawn.

"Yamp! Yamp!" he barked.

"It's a yamper!" Mr. Park said brightly. "Normally, starter pokémon are either fire, grass, or water types, but Elena said especially talented trainers, or ones with more experience, have had a lot of success with electric types, who tend to be difficult to control for complete newbies. We thought yamper would be a good choice. What do you think?"

"Aww, he's so cute!" Amity said, kneeling down to rub her hands on the yamper's admittedly very fluffy-looking scruff. "I think I'll call him Tucker. That's a good name, right?"

"Uh... sure, whatever you like," her father agreed. "Although it's a bit atypical to give pokémon human names like Danny and Tucker, if you like it, that's all that matters."

"Oh, haha," she giggled as she stood up. "Look, the static is making it so his fur is trying to stick to me!"

Tucker ran in excited circles, electricity arcing around him. Danny floated down for a closer look and Tucker zapped him. It didn't seem intentional, but it was still rude. And that silly dog only yapped and rolled over, thinking it was terribly funny. The joke was on him, though. Electic-type moves weren't very effective on Danny.

"Elena says that yamper are best motivated with treats," Mr. Park said. "That should help you train him. He's still young and nowhere near Danny's level, but you have a couple months before the gym challenge to get him there."

"You say that like I'm already registered, but I need an endorsement to even sign up," Amity pointed out.

"Oh, don't be silly, Amity," her father said. "Everyone around here knows you're already a great pokémon trainer. I'm sure Opal is ready to endorse you the first chance she gets. When word got out it was your birthday today, I heard she was thrilled. She said, 'The next champion will come from Ballonlea!'"

Amity laughed. "That didn't happen!"

"Sure it did," her father insisted, though his smile betrayed him. "And anyway, I stand by saying she'll endorse you. I have no doubts about it."

—

At first, Danny was dubious about the new pokémon, but it was only a couple of days before the two of them were getting along famously.

So Amity and Danny spent the next few months training up Tucker. Amity had Danny remember some of his older, weaker moves for training fights with the much lower level yamper. And just like Mr. Park had said, Tucker wasn't very motivated and often had to be bribed with treats, especially sausages. But Amity was clever, and persevered, and soon enough, Tucker was a strong pokémon too.

Once sign ups for the gym challenge opened, Amity was sure her pokémon were ready for it. She took her pokémon to the Ballonlea gym and asked Gym Leader Opal for an endorsement to join. She had faith in Danny and Tucker, but just in case, she made sure to wear her pink dress when she asked. That would surely put Opal in a good mood.

"Why, Amity, I would be honored to endorse you," Opal told her. "But, I am also a gym leader, and it's a point of pride not to endorse just any trainer who asks without first testing their mettle."

"I'm ready," Amity said. "Whatever your test is, I'll take it now."

"Alright then, pop quiz," Opal said. "If I recall correctly from seeing you train them around town, your pokémon are a phantump and a yamper. What will they evolve into?"

"Tucker will evolve into a Boltund once he's strong enough. It shouldn't be long now," Amity answered. "And Danny won't evolve."

"Oh, I'm afraid that's only half-right, my dear," Opal said apologetically. "Phantump can evolve into trevenant."

"Yes, but a phantump only evolves into a trevenant when it's traded, and I would never trade Danny to anyone, even temporarily. You asked what my pokémon would evolve into. And my phantump isn't going to evolve. Besides, I don't think he would want to, anyway."

She was right. Tucker was always yapping excitedly about evolving into boltund, but Danny was perfectly happy just the way he was.

"Hm... I stand corrected," Opal said. "It seems you know your own pokémon even better than you know pokémon evolutions. If you'll come with me to my office a moment, I'll write you a letter of endorsement right now."

And she did just that.

"You take that letter to the gym in Motostoke, and they'll register you for the gym challenge," Opal explained. "It's quite a ways away, so you can call a flying taxi from the pokémon center when you're ready to go, but it's usually better to get to new places on your own two legs from there. You can train your pokémon on the routes between towns, and even catch new ones if you want to."

"I know," Amity said, taking the letter with reverence. "Thank you Ms. Opal. I won't let you down."

"I can't imagine you would," Opal said. "Good luck, Amity. I know you'll do great."

Amity was eager to get started. She went right home, packed her bag, and dressed in her favorite outfit, a white dress, white trainers, bright green leggings, and her favorite white boater hat. She'd gotten a lot better at keeping white clothes from getting dirty over the years, but she could only hope they wouldn't be ruined on her journey.

The ride in the flying taxi was amazing. The driver even let her keep Danny out of his pokéball since he was so well-behaved.

"Look at how small everything looks from up here," she said. Then she looked up at the massive bird carrying the taxi. "Maybe my next pokémon will be a corviknight."

"Oh, I wouldn't recommend that," the driver said. "A corviknight can be a lot to handle from the start. If you want one of these majestic pokémon, you'd do better to catch a rookidee and evolve it through training. That's how we get all the corviknight for the taxi service, that's why they're so gentle."

"A rookidee, huh?" Amity repeated. "Yeah, I like that idea. Danny, from now on, lets be on the lookout for a rookidee. I think Sam will be a good name for it. That will work whether it's a girl or a boy. What do you think?"

Danny keened in agreement, and Amity smiled like the sunshine. It had been a long time since his voice had made her shudder in the woods so long ago. And now, their journey was finally taking off.

[inbarfink]

And the very very last, but certainly not least, after The Bonnieverse, and The Marcyverse, here’s the Simonverse! This one takes a lot of inspiration from @fridjitzu‘s Reverseworld, which has a very similar concept, so yeah, credit where it’s due (for the ideas of Simon using nunchaku as his weapon-of-choice, Gunter's 'magic' powers, and some of Marceline's characterization) but I think there’s a lot of essential things that are very different and make this a distinctive AU!

As usual, details under the cut:

Simon the Human: A human child found in the wild and adopted by a family of penguins, Simon is a very clever and nerdy adventurer kid who’s much better at solving issues with his brain then with his nunchaku (though he’s not bad at those either). He wants to be all responsible and mature, especially to his adoptive little brother Gunter. But he still has to deal with being a kid who’s emotional and confused about junk and especially love and puberty - since he’s not very well-adjusted when it comes to his crushes. Easily scared but usually fights through it to do the right thing. He likes books, history, archaeology (part of the reason he started adventuring is because that’s the best way to unearth ancient artifacts) and occasionally dabbles in magic.

Gunter the Penguin: Simon’s younger brother. Has “magic” powers to change his size and create clones of himself, which are actually a manifestation of his true identity as the amnesiac elder god Orgalorg, rather then simple magic. It also manifest in his more mischievous and destructive tendencies. He likes teasing his older brother and sometimes get annoyed with the way Simon babies him, but he still loves him a lot.

Queen Marceline: Ruler of the Monster Kingdom, a sort of Halloween-ish kingdom of friendly spooky silly monsters. Queen Marceline is like Simon’s cool big sister he never had before - and she’s often the person he feels most comfortable with: without the burden of being the responsible, mature one with Gunther or the awkwardness of being next to girls he's crushing on. Queen Marceline means well (she’s the one who overthrew the Vampire King and reformed the Monster Kingdom from a really evil place to a nation of mostly chaotic neutral pranksters) but she’s got a reputation for not being the most focused or responsible ruler around. While she is sometimes more focused on her music career or her own needs then actually ruling the kingdom - also she believes a hands-off attitude really is the best way to rule (especially since she grew up with her dad micromanaging the Nightosphere into causing as much misery and confusion as possible) and she hates how people just assume she’s lazy and doesn’t care.

Grass Prince: Once Finn Martens, a pre-war kid with an overactive imagination who dreamed of a life of adventure. Finn stumbled on a cursed magic item known as the Grass Sword - which bonded with him and slowly transformed him into a crazy grass warrior with plant controlling powers. Nowadays Grass Prince rules over the Grass Kingdom (an idyllic grassland populated mainly by jerky sheep and Grass Prince's beloved lazy herding dog Jake). He usually goes around believing he’s “saving” or “helping” people regardless of what’s the actual situation and if the people want to be saved/helped at all and he’s generally really destructive and obnoxious about it. Very hot-headed and quick to fight due to the influence of the Grass Sword. He view Simon and Gunter either as apprentices heroes/sidekicks or as villains he’s trying to reform, he’s kinda indecisive about this

Bonnibel the Mad Scientist: Firstborn of the Mother Gum, created shortly after the Mushroom War. Bonnibel is a full-blown mad scientist, who performs weird and often morally questionable candy-themed experiments in her spooky isolated cabin by Butterscotch Lake. Although reluctant at first, preferring to isolate herself in her lab far away from the outside world, she does become good friends with Simon due to their shared nerdy interests (Simon also has a huge one-sided crush on her. He finds the whole mad scientist thing equal part really scary and really attractive), and she also makes amends regarding her ruined relationship with Queen Marceline. Bonnibel also has a powerful bond with Finn Martens AKA Grass Prince that goes back the time they were both little kids surviving together in the post-apocalyptic landscape of just after the Mushroom War, before the Grass Sword had fully consumed Finn.

[teambrokekids]

OUR DEMO IS OUT!!! PLAY IT! WISHLIST IT! GIVE US FEEDBACK! Thank you all for the support. We hope you enjoy our demo!

Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword on Steam https://store.steampowered.com/app/2734360/ #gaming_news#demo#indie#release#mushroom#gamedevs#gaming

[arc-gx]

me and a group of people i met in a game jam just put the game we started on to Kickstarter :D there's a free Steam demo too!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/teambrokekids/mushroom-kids-big-grass-sword

I am being so serious when I say: if you have the financial and time privilege to get a group of friends together and make an indie project, PLEASE do. Indie games, indie animations, indie comics etc etc

the art industries are kind of in the shitter. It’s not so much because of AI (though that doesn’t help) but because studios just aren’t hiring people and funding projects anymore. People who’ve been in the industry for decades are finding themselves struggling, and once you have a mortgage or kids it’s harder to do something as risky as making something on your own.

completing projects is hard. it takes a lot of time and effort, and most people can’t afford it. so if you CAN afford to make art, even at the risk of no financial gain, I strongly encourage you to be as resilient as you can. We’re at a point where these industries are not going to turn around by themselves, and waiting for jobs to open up again in order to get experience and portfolio work might not be realistic.

people have been making art and telling stories longgggg before we were getting paid for it, and people aren’t going to stop just because no one has hired them to do so.

for everyone else: support indie artists when you can!!!! That person who made that cool indie game or youtube animation or webcomic might be doing this full time! your support might be the only reason they’re able to keep doing it.

and if you have already started an indie project: you’re so brave and I’m very proud of you!!! in fact, drop a link to it in the reblogs if you want! 👇

[enbeatsu]

are you a gamer?

do you want game music?

well boy howdy do i have news for you!

I'm en♭eatsu (fae/faer, ey/em, she/they), and I'm a composer who writes music for games! If you're looking for music for any sort of project, be it a video game, something to accompany your next D&D campaign, or just a quick song commission, feel free to reach out– you can dm me here or on instagram @/enbeatsu, or email me at enbeatsu@gmail.com!

8 years of Logic Pro experience

Score Prep done in Dorico

4th Semester at Berklee College of Music

Major in Game and Interactive Media Scoring

Experience with writing a wide range of genres

Knowledge of interactive music design and implementation

Worked on music for 2 game jam games, 1 game in production, multiple small table top game projects

— — —

Current Project(s):

Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword

— — —

For examples of my work, just take a look below! All my original work is tagged #enbeatsu, and projects I do for the Mini-Game Monthly composition challenge at Berklee's Video Game Music Club are tagged #mini-game monthly

You can also find me on other social media and music sites under enbeatsu~

YouTube Instagram Bandcamp Soundcloud

[sbejar16]

Week 5 - Logo Animation reimagined Mica from Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword as a Logo video here

"🍄Team Broke Kids is a small indie game development team working on the game: Mushroom Kid's Big Grass Sword!🍄" https://www.instagram.com/teambrokekids/ https://twitter.com/teambrokekids

[novantinuum]

Crack the Paragon, Chapter 11

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences (I have upped the rating in consideration of sensitive topics I aim to depict later on.)

Words: 3000~

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which Lapis is a flight risk, and Steven begins to doubt himself.

You can find the AO3 link in the reblogs! (I have to omit them from the original post these days to ensure this will show up in the tags.) If you enjoyed this, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3 as well.

-

Chapter 10: Beta, Part 2

When your life has become a continually evolving string of heart pounding adventures linked together by the odd few days off, you quickly learn to fixate on the fine details no matter what the circumstance, as you never know when one of those details could be used to save everyone’s butts. Sure, it’s not like this outlook did him any favors back in the forge, but his point still stands: a Steven who isn’t constantly paying close attention to his surroundings is a Steven who can’t properly help his friends. If he’s not innately aware of everything around him, he can’t raise his shield in time. He won’t be able to pull the right tool out of his cheeseburger backpack. He can’t give a perfectly worded response to a soul in need. This is a non-negotiable fact, and the reality of what happened with Bismuth merely cements it ever more solid. Which is why— deep beyond the wandering disorientation of his current surface thoughts— he can’t help but wonder why he’s unable to pay attention to the details that actually matter right now. The individual threads of all his friends’ panic, confusion, and attempted explanation overlap and intertwine, weaving an audible tapestry of emotions. Their precise words, however, may as well have died in the wind. Mentally, he is not here. Instead, the fragmented remains of his focus choose to zero in on the wood grain pattern spread across every beam and board of the barn’s rustic infrastructure. Wholly enamored, his eyes trace a path between the dark ridges as if traversing a maze. Tree rings are super pretty, huh. He absolutely doesn’t give them the love and admiration they deserve. But as is evident from the slight musty smell and the dainty mushrooms beginning to sprout by the floor in one of the corners, some of the boards are beginning to rot. His mouth falls slightly ajar, and he stares at these fruiting bodies with such stubborn commitment that for a moment he forgets anything else was ever a priority. Have Peridot and Lapis noticed? Do they even know what wood rot is? Upon that thought, he frowns pensively, balling his fist at his chin. Hmm. Given their relative inexperience with Earth stuff, the most likely answer to that is no. He’ll have to call Dad about fixing the boards before this grows into an even bigger problem. It’d be awful if their home became unsafe to live in because he didn’t do his part to help. But then again... “What do you mean, none of you know why she did it? That just makes it worse!” “Lapis! Lapis, wait! They said she’s—“ “Let go of me!” she says, struggling in Peridot’s grasp, her water wings flaring outwards at the ready. “Don’t you get it? I can’t live here on Earth anymore, it’s not safe! None of us are safe!” Is he already too late?

Lapis’s impassioned cries continue to echo at the edge of his awareness— something paranoid about shapeshifted disguises, about the Diamonds— but his feet are still anchored to the boards below, his body all but stagnant in shock of the current maelstrom of emotions. And yet, it’s strange... while a sum of him dimly recognizes he’s still attached to reality, it’s almost as if he’s watching all of this from above himself, stuck as a passive observer to his failure. Helpless. ( C-cracked, I’m- I’m cracked, I’m split I, I can’t... feel... need... I-I need to —) Slimy tendrils of guilt slither around his heart. He wasn’t paying close enough attention to the mood. He wasn’t careful. He wasn’t convincing. He was scared that everyone would devolve into petty argument, and look what happened! He ran his mouth when he should’ve stayed silent. He caused his own nightmare. His family’s splintering apart once more, and it’s all his fault. “But it’s not like that,” Ruby hastily interjects, “I’m sure it’s not like that!” “Really? You’re seriously jumping to defend Rose, after all the lies she fed us?” Amethyst spits back. “N- no! I’m just saying, why would—“ The constant chirping chorus emanating from the birds of the nearby woods steals his fragmented focus next, and he can’t help the sense of relief that bubbles up from within as he willfully sinks into the distraction. The birds, their songs are beautiful. He wonders what they’re saying to each other... if they’re arguing about territory, warning friends about predators, or simply having a friendly conversation. Maybe his dad might be able to distinguish the difference. When he was still living in the van, they used to lay on that ratty old mattress side-by-side late at night, listening to the crashing tides and the distant squalls of birds picking at trashed food on the boardwalk. Because one of his relatives was big into birding when they were kids, Dad was always able to stake a reasonable guess on the species class based on call alone. And honestly, that’s a pretty amazing power to have. As he related earlier, it’s important to fixate on the fine details. Attention to detail can save lives. It can soften hearts. It can make or break friendships. But as he’s grown to fear, it can’t fix everything. He can’t fix everything. The blue Gem’s features twist with simmering fury. “Peridot, I told you to let me go!” she hollers, and in a single jerk rips herself away from the shorter Gem’s desperate embrace. Her wings swing like a whip behind her as her body follows the motion through. It’s enough of a shock to the system that his sense of awareness comes rushing back. He ducks, the water swishing right over his head. Something behind him snaps and clatters to the ground. Ruby presses a bejeweled hand to her face, muttering something he can’t distinguish. “‘Kay, I’m out,” Amethyst cuts in through the chaos, throwing her hands up. “Y’all are whack, this whole convo is whack, and I can’t deal with any of this right now.” Not wasting a single second, she tucks herself into a ball and super-speeds it out of the barn. Mouth caught in a tiny, helpless ‘o,’ Steven whisks around, only barely catching a glimpse of her retreat before he spots the damage. It’s one of Lapis’s morps, that wooden hanger displaying all the baseball paraphernalia. Now it lies rejected on the floorboards, one of the strings broken and the bat rolling towards Peridot’s feet. He watches, feeling lambasted with regret for his role in sparking this argument, as the green Gem’s face cripples much like the structural integrity of that meep-morp. She blinks away the threat of tears and quickly averts her gaze from the group, bending to pick up the bat before clutching it to her chest in a protective manner. The water Gem huffs and storms out of the barn as well, fists unyielding at her side. Heart pounding amidst all the uncertainty of this fraught situation, Steven scuttles after her. Come on, think! he snaps at himself, chewing pensively at his lip. There has to be a way he can still save this, a way he can stop his family from splintering apart yet again... “Lapis,” Ruby begins, delicately edging towards her. “No, stop,” she holds up a hand. Her expression— as nebulous and hard to ascertain as always— is caught at some weird nexus between blinding anger, terror, and... is that guilt he spies? “Stop talking! I’m not asking any of you to change my mind. I’m leaving, and all of you should be too!” Turning on her heels, she squares her stance and flares her wings to their full width in preparation for her flight. Just before those watery wings can beat downwards, propelling her lithe form away from his world forever, he leaps forward. Dares to grab her wrist. She sharply inhales, briefly tugging against him before she notices who the hand belongs to and falls slack in his hold. Static assails his mind as he assesses every angle of this jerk-moment decision. What on earth is he doing? (He can practically feel Ruby and Peridot’s anxious, curious gaze drilling into him from behind, and they’re not even in his line of sight. No matter what happens, this is all on him. No one else.) “I-I, um,” he stammers at first, desperately scouring his brain for the right words to say. “Please, I’m... You don’t have to be scared like this. I may have her gem, but I’m not her!” Lapis gives a shaky sigh. Her wings droop right along with her shoulders, the persistent burden of thousands of years of captivity evident within her posture. Waiting in the shadow of her silence, his focus falls on the gemstone adoring her back, that smooth, glossy teardrop. Golly, somehow it doesn’t feel that long ago at all that her gem was cracked, and— scared, angered, and confused— she lashed out in much a similar way. “I’ve always known you’re not your mom, Steven,” she says lowly, still not meeting his gaze. “This- this isn’t about that!” “Then... what is it about?” She growls in frustration, clenching her fists as she yanks her wrist away from his grip. “Have none of you been listening to me?” “Have you been listening to us?” Peridot mutters flatly from behind him.

Lapis shoots her a sour look, but continues, pacing across the grass as she speaks. “If one diamond was able to fool an entire empire into thinking she was a quartz for thousands of years,” she says, gesticulating to emphasize her words, “then- then how do we know the other Diamonds aren’t already here doing the same, already watching from a distance, just waiting to shatter us for everything we’ve done??” The sharpened words echo across the fields, familiar bird calls cut short as even nature falls silent in their sway. Steven stands motionless, her paranoia-tinted prophecy sinking in through his flesh despite all efforts otherwise, sowing roots in the darkest corners of his mind that he dare not peep into. When no one responds, the blue Gem exhales, lowering her face to the ground. “I’ve let my guard down too much here, I’ve let myself grow soft. I’m sorry, but I have to go.” He swears he hears a note of disappointment laced between the layers of her uneven breath, or perhaps it’s heartbreak. He can’t tell. Despite his usual aptitude at interpreting others’ feelings, Lapis is consistently hard to read. And it’s this very thought, this subtle dissonance from the expected in her intentions, that encourages him to reach out one last time. Her wings flare out again. Blood and hard light thrum at an almost dizzying pace through his parallel veins. It’s now or never.

“Lapis, wait!” he calls, palm open wide. “Please, please don’t leave! Not now, not like this.” Their world crystallizes into ice as he vies to meet her fears head on. There’s no sunlight, no bird calls, no wind, no Ruby and Peridot behind him. No more untimely distractions. Only Lapis, desperate and hurting amid the heart of the storm she created. She holds her wings taut, ready for flight, hovering at the edge of her metaphoric tower. Breath trembling, she glances behind. The sheer complexity of emotion Steven discovers in those sea blue irises almost makes his eyes water. Cautiously, he steps forward.

“Maybe you’re right,” he begins, fidgeting with his shirt’s bottom hemline. His fingers briefly brush against the edge of his gem as he does so, and he jerks them away in blind rebellion of this reminder. “Maybe this planet never will be completely safe. Maybe nothing ever goes to plan. But the Crystal Gems have survived this long because they stood together instead of breaking apart. A-and... I know you don’t think of yourself as a Crystal Gem,” he cuts in quickly with a placating gesture, noticing the question forming on her lips, “but please-! With everything else that’s happening, I really, really still want you in my life.”

Tightly, she wrings her fingers around her opposite arm, face dipping dolefully towards the soft soil squishing up between her bare toes. “Steven, I...” “I can’t promise you’ll be safe on Earth, but I can promise you won’t have to be alone,” he says, voice thick. “Please.” Stay, he mouths, his body nearly shaking in fear of how she’ll respond, of all the inner thoughts flooding through her mind he’ll never wholly decipher. Their gaze locks, souls laid bare to each other as they engage in a rapid-fire dialogue no other creature of this world will ever be privy to.

If you can't stay for yourself, he cries silently, can’t you stay for me?

The seconds are punctuated only by the reverberant tremor of his heartbeat, as he stands upon a precipice in wait of her pivotal, defining answer.

Eventually, her expression softens. She folds her wings, standing down.

“Fine,” she spits. “I’ll wait and see what happens... for now. But if I ever find out any of the Diamonds are inbound, or worse? I’m out of here.”

A stiff gust of wind rushes past, threading through her hair and causing her dress to undulate like mid-ocean waves. Shadow obscures her face.

“I’m not getting pulled into another war.” Giving no further explanation, she turns tail and storms past the tent, past the rickety fence bordering her and Peridot’s barn, and into the overgrown wildflower field beyond. Once she’s reached a far enough distance, she extends her wings and begins to fly, hastily disappearing beyond the tree-line. Everyone stares at the thick swath of forest she escaped to with dumbfounded shock at first, no one quite sure how to proceed after that bomb of a conversation stopper. Ruby mutters something under her breath, clear frustration coloring her voice. Behind him, he hears Peridot reverently set the bat down on the barn’s floor.

“I’m... gonna go find her, and help her calm down,” she says. Clutching her hands close to her chest, she passes him and Ruby and begins her long, flightless trek into the Beach City woods. Steven himself migrates towards the grassy patch beyond the pool, and falls to his knees amongst the dandelions growing there. Most of them are still flowering, their lithe golden yellow petals fanning out from the head. A few on a separate plant are white and puffy, though, ready to disperse seeds. He’s drawn to one in particular, a seedhead that’s already missing half of its progeny. Biologically, he knows it’s a good thing that those seeds have flown away and might get a chance to germinate elsewhere, but regardless the sight of this lonely, barren dandelion strikes a dour note. Was he wrong, asking Lapis to stay? Could she eventually heal and become happier, leaving the burden of this place? He swallows hard, gripping the balding seedhead between two fingers and decisively plucking it off the stem. A few more seeds blow off with the disturbance, their feathery parachutes falling into the arms of the wind.

Lapis...

What if his selfishness is only holding her back?

And then there’s Amethyst to worry about. There’s no point overextending the sad dandelion metaphor to fit her situation, because hers is something entirely unique. She’s still in his life, just emotionally closed-off. Bitter. Avoidant. Unfairly antagonistic to others. By inviting her out here he hoped she might take the opportunity to kick back and blow off some steam, but now, after watching her abruptly leave the group a few minutes ago, he’s worried this trip only succeeded in further stressing her out.

A gem adorned hand falls upon his shoulder then, pulling him to the present. With a startled yelp, he tosses the dandelion into the grass as he flinches away. His heart drums uncontrollably, so much so that his cheeks burn with embarrassment when it dawns on him who this hand belongs to. He sucks in a shaky breath to calm himself down before allowing himself to sink into her comfort, glancing behind to meet Ruby’s tired, kind eyes. “Hey. Are you okay?” she asks. His tongue suddenly feeling as limp and dry as all the fallen leaves beginning to sprinkle the ground, he nods his head yes. In an overt betrayal of his response, his big, stupid, puffy eyes begin to water. Hurriedly, he wipes the burgeoning tears away with the butt of his palm. Frustration bubbles at his core. Since when was he such a crybaby? He’s cried far too much lately, and he’s sick of it. He rubs harder as the tears begin to fall anyways, his bottom lip quivering as he vies with every last ounce of control he still has to not look entirely pathetic. The skin around his eyes, sensitive and raw, begins to sting from the friction. Wordlessly, Ruby wraps her hands around his wrists and leads them away from his face. His chest tightens. He fails to choke back a sob as she pulls him into her embrace, his own arms trapped between them. She buries her face into the crook of his neck, and it’s then that he realizes with a shock of surprise that she’s crying too. Her quiet tears dampen his collar; her fingers clutch at the back of his shirt. “You don’t have to pretend to be strong for us all the time,” she says softly. “I wanna be here for you too, okay? It’s just like you said... no matter what, we stand together.” “But I- I have to go find her,” he chokes out, the words sticking in his throat in the most pathetic manner. “Who, Lapis? Peridot‘s prolly fine handling her on her own.” “No, I mean Amethyst. I saw her run off, an, and she’s been so upset today, and...” “Steven,” she says, leaning away and gently lifting his chin so he can’t avoid her compassionate gaze. “You’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and honestly? A lot of it’s been our fault. You should take a moment to rest, okay?” Grinning, she ruffles his hair. “Enjoy the breeze! Climb a tree! Kick back for once. I’ll check on Amethyst this time.”

He hoarsely whispers an ‘okay’ as he sits back on his heels in the sun and watches her run off, allowing the wind to whip through his curls. Sighing, he splays his fingers just above the grass, allowing their tips to gently tickle his palm as they brush back and forth, and futilely tries to convince himself he’s cultivated enough good into the world today to deserve this break.

[talesofsonicasura]

Unappreciated Hunter

A Monster Hunter encounters Hat Kid and helps her out. Didn't know he was going to get dragged into her weird life.

Kokoto, the village of strong and tough Monster Hunters. The citizens can be quite pushy to traveling hunters and at higher levels when it revolves around ex guild hunters. Any hunter from Kokoto would judge and mock any fellow warrior 'not worth their salt'. Even the Felyne that runs the cafetine there is quite rude.

Yet, it was the only place to acquire certain materials or ingredients which is important for any that travels in monster infested lands. Items that couldn't be found anywhere else. After all it was also a popular merchant village, considering the village chief was a retired Legendary Hunter. Guess the high standards considering hunters was slightly justified.

"...And fuck you too! Go kiss a Congala's ass if that's how you treat your customers!" Angry swearing was also guaranteed as a white haired man stormed out of a shop in rage. Long silver locks tied into a wild ponytail, tannish skin balanced by lean yet rock hard muscle, eyes were a bright blue highlighted by black stripe outlines, and stood at an intimidating 7'2 in height.

His clothes consisted of a long beige winter coat with blue and red triangle patterned cuffs alongside large cotton ball looking buttons, beige long trousers with white puffy cuffs, black hiking boots made out of some sort of reptilian hide and white fur gloves. In his hand was a woven straw basket filled with fruit, cheeses, spices and herbs.

The man let an aggravated sigh before trying to cool his temper. "Come on Kahtal. Don't let that asshat get to you. Plus Nekona those need the ingredients and getting blacklisted from every shop went help." He or Kahtal said rubbing his hand against the side of his head. He took a deep breath and continued to the next vendor.

Well, he would if a soft sparkle of light hadn't grabbed his attention. This tinge of light was a mystifying soft blue and looked to be near the Hero Shrine by the village's oldest tree. Curiosity getting the best of him, he walked over to the odd phenomenon awarely ignorant to disapproving glances from some of the village hunters.

The Hero Shrine was essentially a tree that held the Hero's Shield and the stone before carrying the Hero's Blade. Weapons used by Kokoto's chief to defeat a powerful Elder Dragon known as Lao-Shan-Lung. What really got Kahtal's attention was what sat slightly embedded into the earth a bit far from the shrine.

This item looked like an hourglass, well a very weird hourglass. The glass was crystal clear that sparkled but held no sand in it, the rims that kept it together had two gold beads sandwiching a purple hat shaped and the soft glow that radiated from the very object. It was beautiful and incredibly well crafted from Kahtal's perspective.

"Who could make something like this and where's their owner?" Kahtal picked up the item carefully while speaking his thoughts to himself. One thing he did know was it looked to be very important and not the type of item to be trashed carelessly. Someone clearly lost it. His thoughts were interrupted by a soft 'Hey!'.

The young man looked down to see his leg was being tugged by a little girl. She had soft peach skin paired with curly brown hair in a back ponytail and topped with a purple top hat that had a gold ribbon, bright blue eyes and little nose. She wore a purple shirt with a light gold cape, white trousers and black little shoes. On her back was a light blue umbrella covered in stickers.

"Um, hi there. Sorry I didn't notice you." Kahtal said with a sheepish look on his face. The peculiar little girl let out a tiny giggle before nodding. She then pointed at the hourglass in his hand. The man took a glance at her hat and the hat beads on the hourglass. They were the exact same.

"Does this belong to you? I found it dugged a bit into the ground over there." He pointed at the little hole in the grass. The little girl nodded heavily with a polite smile on her face. Kahtal guessed she was a selective mute as the only word she spoke was 'Hey' in order to get his attention.

"Well, here you go. You're lucky I found it. I don't think any other passerby would have given it back." The young man handed the child the hourglass carefully as to not drop it. She took the peculiar item and hugged it before hugging his leg in appreciation. Kahtal let out a soft chuckle before patting her head.

"I must be going. My friend is waiting for me outside the village with these groceries. Take care." The little girl nodded at his words before whispering a soft quiet 'thank you'. Both went their separate ways and Kahtal's mood was much better after that.

The next time he saw the little girl or the fact he met her again at all was in the worst place a child should never be. There are places in this monster filled world that normal people aren't allowed to travel alone. Only ones who could were merchants, caravans and most highly monster hunters. Kahtal was the latter of this group.

A mission was sent to his personal home by a messenger Kinsect. The client wanted him to gather some Coal from an area known as the Volcanic Hollow. A large string of caverns found within a monstrous supervolcano. The intense heat in the deeper sections made it a cozy home for all sorts of deep dwelling monsters and perfect place to gather ores.

It looked like a simple quest but these types of missions usually had something dangerous causing problems in the background. A pretty accurate assumption to make as there was a Subquest at the bottom. An extra piece of mission that was optional for the Hunter but meant extra pay if taken.

This particular Subquest was asking for him to stop a Uragaan who was causing a ruckus down there. Uragaan also known as the Burst Hammer Wyvern, a large Brute Wyvern that can create powerful tremors by slamming its armored jaw into the ground and rolling over any foolish creature to aggravate it. Their diet consisting of ores made it dangerous for any miner who accidentally runs into one.

Gathering supplies to keep him properly cool in the hotter areas were necessary since having a heatstroke in a volcano was the worst way to go. Once preparations were made and gear was set, the hunter set off to Volcanic Hollow. Dealing with the Burst Hammer Wyvern was the first thing needed to be done before even thinking of digging for coal.

This definitely wasn't a place normal people should travel through. A simple thought of a little girl in purple strolling through the lava heated caverns. The interior of a volcano was less lava-y than any she had seen before. First spot to find after jumping down the mouth was a few small conjoining clifftops and some natural hot springs by them.

Only things other than two paths that didn't go deeper down and one that did were the strange green doggy faced creatures munching on whatever plants or mushrooms growing there. They gave her odd looks but just minded their business and continued to graze. Next spot had multiple small lava pools and two were branching paths with one that meant another big jump.

There were some mean reddish snake bird worm things that tried to bite or whack her with their tail. She clobbered them multiple times with her umbrella before they got the hint and ran. This time the child decided to take the side path instead of a large jump. Big mistake on her part.

The room was pretty with a huge amber column at the center that was in a beehive like formation and more smaller red ones that added extra support. Bright sapphire blue crystals and ruby red crystals sticking from the ground in a roundish rectangular form. If only she noticed that the odd growing gold stone on the ground was a monster's tail.

"Aaaaaaah!!!" Echoed the screams of a little girl through a mountainous deep section of the volcano. Tiny stream of water pouring down the cliffs to the large molten ground below shook with the tremors of heavy footsteps. The little purple hatted girl ran across the reddish dirt as a large beast followed her relentlessly.

It was a large reptilian creature that could honestly be mistaken as a dinosaur from the powerful looking legs but underdeveloped tiny arms. Its face was round dark brownish scaled except for its huge orangish color jaw, from its head to the very long rounded tail were large flat topped amber crystals that were positioned in the way tires are to leave tracks, thick muscled legs with sharp claws and bright green eyes that burned with rage.

The 25 ft tall brute looked a bit beaten up but the little girl would admit personally that she had nothing to do with it. Of course it didn't matter since the lizard monster was still angry and probably cranky for her poking its tail with an UMBRELLA. If she ever got out of here alive, she would never come back...maybe.

The giant then let out a painted cry as the ground shook hard nearly making the child lose her footing. She flipped around to understand what happened. Giant lizard thing had been slammed to the ground by someone covered in armor and holding what looked to be a sword and shield. The shield part slammed into the mean beast's head.

The armor was a bright crimson with light summer colors such as orange and gold fitted to its feudal samurai look. Chest plate had an orange triangle coming from the bottom as it pointed to two cogs on the separate sides that were connected by a thick white rope, a giant red cape with big fancy and fluffy gold rims, red shield shaped plates covering a gold rim red skilt, red armor gauntlets and boots but the cool thing was the mask.

It was faceless with eye slots but large red horns that went back and curved at the end but also orange along with a large white mane that was in the back. The shield was lustrous ruby with a gold wheel on the surface and a cog with two golden hour hands at the center. And the sword had a crystalline blade that started before ending in a reddish violet at tip and punk looking half gold claw hilt to a silver handle.

Eyes from the helmet looked at her before the masked man pulled his helmet a bit to show Kahtal's face. "You're the little girl I met in Kokoto! How did you get into the Volcanic Hollow?!" He cut off his words when the monster or Uragaan began to move underneath him. The man bashed the beast's head with his shield before getting into its face.

It immediately flinched upon the pair of eyes glaring back into its own. They weren't of a man but of a beast. Bigger, meaner and absolutely powerful. The glare of an Alpha. "You better stay down and don't try anything. So much as harm a hair on that little girl's head then consider your life forfeit. Now sit!" Voice was heavy as steel and the tone brimming with pure dominance.

Uragaan shivered violently before seating itself to the floor once Kahtal stepped off the beast's head. He gave the large brute a glance before sheathing both his blade and shield onto his back. Then the silverette turned to the most impossible thing to run around in a volcano. The little girl who had looks of awe in her eyes now lost it upon the look she was getting from the hunter.

"What are you doing here? This isn't a safe place for people much less little girls. Especially ones that somehow managed to have a Uragaan chase them. The species isn't called Burst Hammer Wyvern for no reason." Kahtal spoke pointing at the specific cowering dragon behind him.

"I wanted to see you! You gave me my Time Piece back so I thought you wanted to be my friend! And I got here from my ship since it said you were somewhere around here." There was a bunch of childish pep and cheer to her voice like it was natural despite the guilty look on her face. Or the fact she was nervously poking her fingers together.

Now he had a lot of questions but knew that the inside of a volcano wasn't the place to discuss it. "Let's talk about it once we're back at the camp on top of the volcano. And you!" The Burst Hammer Wyvern flinched upon Kahtal pointing his finger at the beast. It was still scared at the much smaller human man.

"You are being relocated to an island unreachable to human civilization. A winged companion of mine will be picking you up so stay put! Behave then I'll forget about you trying to trample a little girl and maybe add in some yummier ores than the ones down here." The knowledge of the alpha human forgiving him, a new home and chance of a tasty treat had the Uragaan positively complacent with his current position.

Kahtal took out what looked to be a signal gun before firing a green smoke round into the air. The flare spilling green smoke out into the volcano's entrance paired with a lime like scent. Once that flare was shot, Kahtal picked up the little girl and hoisted her on his back. He then took off ignoring the sound of large flapping wings or the sound of shock in the other room that he left the Uragaan in.

The volcano top had a small makeshift camp settled a good space from the mouth to the heated mountain. A simple tent that provided cover from the sun for a large mattress, two large crates with one blue and the other red, and a few makeshift fence blockades. Kahtal was now looking at the little child with a ludicrous look.

"So your name is Hat Kid, and you're an alien refugee from another world. You came here because a Timepiece, which is the fuel for your ship somehow crashlands in Kokoto village. After I returned it to you, you tried to find me again so I can be your friend and hangout with you." The hunter questioned while holding his helmet in his right hand.

The little girl or Hat Kid sat on the queen sized mattress next to Kahtal while she told him her tale. She was nodding at every inquiry he had got from the hat wearing child. "Normally I treat that kind of stuff as Congala crap if I haven't taken in consideration the evidence. A glowing hourglass with no sand isn't normal, a little girl managing to get into a place that is blacklisted to Low Rank Hunters or the fact you got to one of the deepest levels, and NOT die from lethal heatstroke."

Hat Kid looked a bit sheepish when he brought back her little volcano adventure but was glad he did believe her. Kahtal then stood up from the bed and looked at the alien child. "My friend is taking the Uragaan to a new habitat and won't be back for an hour. Might as well take me to your ship." He did think her insane attempt to find him should at least be rewarded...only this one time.

A big smile grew on her face before she ran over and took his free hand immediately. The older man would admit he didn't expect the both of them to float before shooting off into the sky. They were going up so fast that he saw the darkness of space and the shining stars. And like a light switch, Kahtal wasn't outside the volcano but now in a little girl's very odd bedroom.

The odd things being the sea of pillows a good distance from the bed, lights on the ceiling, glass screen viewing the vacuum of space, odd candles that sit by said pit or the giant burnt noodle reading at the top of the staircase by said pillow sea. "Hey! I heard that!" A sheepish look crossed his face. The last part he accidentally spoke out loud.

The offended noodle had a glowing yellow face found on children's jack o' lanterns: circular eyes and the big childish mouth with two fangs, a mane of dark purple that was the same color as his body, spindly arms that ended with two finger ovenmitts that clearly was hiding claws and a long spindly tail making his height around 20 ft long.

"You know kiddo I don't know what's worse. The fact you brought a pecking knight of all things on board or the fact he was rude to me: the all handsome, powerful and soul eating, Snatcher! It's also really rude to insult the dead." The now named specter or Snatcher said while his last bit was deadpan unlike the bolster before in his distorted echo voice.

Kathal's response to this was a raised eyebrow. "First off, I didn't mean to say that out loud so sorry for that. Second, why tell me that you are a soul eating ghost when I'm a 'knight' to you. And third, the proper term is Monster Hunter not Monster Slayer. Unless your causing trouble on my planet that make people send out a request to hunt you, then I won't stab you with my blade and relocate your hide." The mortal man listed with his fingers and pure nonchalance.

The ghost set aside his book so he wouldn't lose in the sea of bed material before slithering over to the armored man. Size difference between them was now clearer than before but Kahtal still had a passive look on his face. "And don't you have quite a snarky side to ya, kiddo." Snatcher chuckles while Kahtal glared back.

"The name is Kahtal Shinsu and I'm a 32 year old man. I am definitely not a kid because last I checked, children don't have an 7'2 body with an eight pack." The silverette's rebuttal didn't make the ghost's smile go away. It only made it more mischievous looking as the 20 ft noodle laughed.

"And I'm over 300 years old which makes ya a mere baby in comparison. An eight pack huh? Definitely the type of muscle for some dirty work back in my forest!" Snatcher said while placing an arm around the hunter's shoulder in a 'buddy' manner. Hat Kid then tugged on his leg for giving him an inquisitive look.

The 'What were you doing' look obviously wanting to know why he was in the Volcanic Hollow in the first place. "I had a job there. My client wanted me to gather 30 pieces of coal from the volcano. There was a bonus quest to deal with that Uragaan who was chasing my hatted companion here." Spotting what looked to be a chalkboard, Kahtal strolled over to it.

Taking a piece of chalk, he sketched out a fully detailed picture of the mentioned Burst Hammer Wyvern minus the injuries from before, all in the span of a minute and the word Uragaan next to it. Snatcher floated over and looked at the image with interest. "Sure looks like quite a brute! No wonder the kiddo looked ready to drop. Gave her a run for her money! Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" He then looked at Kahtal.

"This was also an extra part of the current job description? That makes you an even better contractor for me to hire! Honestly there is some work in my domain that needs a more refined touch than Hat Brat there. She has a habit of making quite the mess." The little girl in question gave him a raspberry.

"Well, you'll need to have a request paper ready. Usually I have a Kinsect deliver me jobs to my home since I'm more of a freelance hunter." Kahtal then drew at the bottom of the board a peculiar bug of sorts. It looked like a scarab but the wings and size were wrong.

"Really now? I don't know where you live but I can mark it down if you take this back." The man didn't expect for the ghost's hand to ignite in blue fire. Or that fire to form a dark purple version of what the kinsect he drew but had the same jack o' lantern smile Snatcher has on their wings. Kahtal would mark it to be creation magic.

"This Kinsnatch here will be delivering any jobs I have for ya. And a bit more." The last bit was a whisper before Snatcher put the magic made insect in the hunter's hands. He looked at the odd insect and immediately knew this was going to be trouble.

Lucky thing was he got dropped off the same place he was before allowing his own alien abduction. And his current ride had just returned. Bad news was how damn aggravating that purple ghost was going to be in the future.

Hey everyone! Sorry not updating the blog for quite a bit. Life is crazy and honestly been trying to handle with some changes to my home.

This story is an experimental crossover using Monster Hunter and A Hat in Time. I wanted to try my hand at writing a Monster Hunter fic but also wanted that kind of vibe you get exploring in different chapters like you do for a A Hat In Time.

Hope you guys enjoyed it! Stay safe and healthy folks!

This is the armor used and the monster Uragaan!

[ast-heljar]

Dreamt of Loki last sleep.

Started out as some kind of work dream that I barely recall, and then I some how ended up outdoors in a park-like woodsy area. Body of water, manicured grass, numerous old but well spaced trees with a woodsy boundary.

And numerous like, wooden statues of the goods. Tho, when things got strangely intense for some reason that even dream logic didnt elaborate on, the statues didnt stay on the ground. As seems to be a theme in god related dreams, I fell over, and a number of statues appeared above me in the sky.

The 1st was the O, to whom I was all: ahaha, hi, youre here -aggressively avoids eye contact with a floating wooden statue- which is ultimately how I also noticed the statues for Tyr and Thor. There MANY others, for sure, I just simply didnt have time to focus on them all...

Because not long after fall over this very kind lile 10 year old child came to my rescue and took me over to the Loki statue. He was saying something about mushrooms, and Loki's wooden statue was partially carved out of a tree. I imagine they all were, of course, being that they were huge, but because my brain can ONLY conjure up pine trees in close proximity (grew up climbing Ponderosa Pine) so thats what this was.

The kid is short, so he looks around the base and I start climbing the tree-statue base a bit and in a hole in the tree I find a REALLY BIG growing mushroom cap of unknown variety. So the kid and I keep climbing up until we get to the shrine part of the statue.

Which is huge because the statue is huge. Anyway, its a big oval metal plate of some kind surround aesthetically from thr front with a few candles. Obviously the answer is throw the mushroom on the metal, burn it, light the candles.

Trying to do any of that while hanging off a front was difficult for me, but the back had much more platform the was clearly intended to be walked upon, so I told the kid I was going around the back. During my trip to the back I also found actual fire wood, etc.

So I climb up the back and the back if the platform is in disarray with some trash, which I start to clean up. As Im cleaning I find a sword! I know where to buy that sword online actually... Anyway, the kid says obviously we found that because we found the mushroom. I have to use the sword to scare off some mild threats from the statue.

We do manage to start a fire, burn the mushroom. I do have to light most of the candles with a dud sparkler firework after which I FINALLY find someones lighter in my cleaning. Turns out theres also a lot of dramatics involved with getting the shrine started because its designed to look like its smoking furiously regardless of whats actually on the metal plate.

What does this have to do with anything? nothing. it was just really vivid so Im writing it down. I will clean it up later.

[oliver-hawthorn]

"Children"

I have always had a reason

For not wanting to be a parent.

When I was younger, it was

Fear of my father hurting them like he hurt me.

Fear of them being sick like I was.

The fact that the medications that kept me

From killing myself also made it impossible

For anything but me to survive in my body.

The idea that they would be anything like me.

Once I was an adult, it was

The fact that I had already raised my brother,

For years, unwillingly, but to the best of my ability.

The girl I dated that said she hated them,

And then the fact that my parental instinct

Was being funneled into keeping her alive,

Which I failed to do, in the end.

Then that was another reason.

If I couldnt keep an independent adult alive,

How could I keep a child alive?

Then the boyfriend who told me

He was afraid the monster in him would kill a baby

In its crib, if it cried too long.

The relationship too volatile to be a home for myself,

Let alone someone so small and fragile.

Lately I have been dreaming, though,

Of three kids- always the same.

Two boys and a girl,

The girl is the middle child,

And we're all walking through the woods.

They wear tiny boots,

And the oldest swings a stick like a wooden sword

Chopping at the tall grass on the sides of the path

As we go.

Like I used to do.

The little girl has a big lace bow in her hair

And it bounces when she hops over small fallen sticks

And the littlest boy

Holds tight to his mothers hand, and to mine,

Swinging occasionally between us over puddles of rainwater.

I dont ever see their faces.

But I know

None of them will have my eyes,

And none of them will have her nose.

They wont look like their Uncle Logan,

Who they might never meet,

But they also wont look like their grandfather,

Thank the gods.

But they might smile the way we do,

Might laugh like us, eventually,

Might learn to sing the same songs together.

They might write stories, or play games,

They could kiss bumblebees or name rocks.

They might befriend ghosts or stray cats,

Or hunt for slugs or mushrooms in the woods

They might be sad.

But we understand sad, and they'll always know

They're loved, even then.

I always had a reason I thought I would never

Want children.

But when I imagine life with her,

I imagine us, and our kids,

Walking in the woods.

[teambrokekids]

OMG! IS THAT MICA FROM THE UPCOMING INDIE PUZZLE PLATFORMER MUSHROOM KID'S BIG GRASS SWORD!

[kleml]

Geralt’s Curse

Title: Geralt’s curse

Ship: implied OMP/Geralt

Prompt day: 3 Curse, 1 Ostracism

Medium: Netflix, Books

Warnings: verbal abuse

Summary: My take on book Geralt's lifestory, as if he'd look like Henry Cavill his own life. Blaviken is based on the books too (where I'd say Renfri was kinda just as evil as Stregobor).

Timeline is all wrong, witchers are not hated per se, Kaer Morhen still stands.

Geralt is around 30 during Blaviken.  

Word count: 2698

Author’s notes: Planned as crack, turned out more serious. Please criticize :)

@geraltwhumpweek

...

They loved to call him pretty.

Other wolves.

People in the villages.

Partners he took to bed, smiling and tracing his face features.

And as much as it should have been great to be considered beautiful, it was a big obstacle in his life.

All the kids brought to Kaer Morhen underwent the Trials. Trials of Grasses took place as soon as they got strong enough.

From the "before" Geralt remembered lots of food. That it was nice and cozy to sleep among the other kids, even though many kicked under the blankets or snored, catching runny nose in the cold castle corridors. He remembered there were many of them, so many they had huge kid tables, and that they were washed in groups by adults who promised to cut their hair if they continue to complain about the process.

He remembered thinking his mom will return and take him back. Same did the others, telling stories about their parents. How they loved them and read stories to put them to bed.

It was a blur.

Geralt didn't remember much.

The white hair, the heightened senses, quickened reaction and constant hunger - all of it came after the Trials. But he was sure his face stayed the same. His hands looked just as they looked before too, and the scars on his knees were still there, even though he wasn't sure how he got them. He also didn't feel like he himself changed in any way.

When he lost all memories so terrible his mind couldn't stand to keep them.

When common big beds became smaller, and suddenly there was only a handful of them sitting at the table.

When they made them eat sickening mushrooms and drink strange juice before they were allowed to eat normal food.

When he started his life as a witcher.

And it wasn't all bad. There was a lot of training. They learned how to fight, how to survive, how to recover. They studied all the creatures big and small, writing, reading and some manners.

He was ten, when he woke up with hair gone all white at the roots, paler skin and sense of smell so sharp his head got dizzy.

Some teachers treated them harshly. Others knew how to make studying exciting.

Autumns were the best time of the year. Traveling wolves returned home, bringing sweets and stories, laughter and tons of food, more than Kaer Morhen's fields and gardens could ever provide.

It wasn't until he turned fourteen that he got called pretty for the first time.

Extra Trials meant he had to be better. Meant he was better at many things, mastering challenges faster than others. It was all fun and games until the other

boys started to hate him for it.

"Ksemir! Hold your stance! You're doing it again!"

They were sparring with training blades, circling each other in the yard. Geralt huffed his hair that started falling out of the tail onto his face, and waited while the teacher explained things again.

"You cannot do that. You just cant, you don't have enough speed nor strength to pull it off. You should be staring less at the adults' training. Concentrate on what I'm telling you. Hey! Are you even listening?"

Ksemir was, indeed, staring at older wolves, dancing with proper swords further from them. Varin, the second fencing instructor who prepared to the Trial of Medallion, screamed at them every single time they made a mistake, and Geralt silently wished to stay fourteen for a little longer. Vesemir was on the Path this year, taking his time off teaching, and they had a replacement, Lestek. He was trying to kick some sense into Ksemir, but failed because of young age and compassion.

"Geralt did it but a minute ago!" another boy screamed. It was Ivur. Geralt didn't like Ivur and Ivur didn't like him back.

"You're not listening again. Geralt is faster, he can do that without getting hit. For the rest of you, it's too risky, hence, don't fucking do it!" Lestek was getting angry.

Geralt raised an eyebrow to Ivur and shrugged.

"Why is he always so fucking special?!"

"I'm not special, you just suck at fencing," Geralt got offended.

"Oh excuse me, and you suck at making potions. Do you think you'll stay this pretty long if you don't know how to treat your wounds?" Ksemir pointed back.

"What?" Geralt knew he looked fine, but what it had to do with anything? Why call him that as an insult?

"He's not gonna be a witcher, he's gonna be a whore like his mother. Look, he even grew his hair like a girl," Ivur jumped over and tried to jerk the tail Geralt's been growing for several years to be more like Vesemir. Vesemir was swell and ladies liked him a lot.

"Kids, shut up! What are you even talking about? Ivur, sit back!"

Geralt didn't pay any attention to that, stretching out to hit Ivur in the face.

It was ugly and quick. Ivur managed to rip off some of Geralt’s hair and received a slap across his cheek and nose.

"Look, he even fights like a girl!" Ivur cried out with a nosebleed.

Geralt got even angrier. And his head hurt. He threw his blade without looking in the direction of Ksemir and rushed away, heading to the tower.

"Geralt, come back at once. You're grounded!"

"Fuck off!"

Maybe he was pretty. Maybe he was special. He didn’t ask for that, nor he asked to be grouped with Ivur and Ksemir today.

Eskel said Ivur was jealous because he himself was ugly as shit, and his mother actually was a whore. Eskel also told Geralt he did sometimes act like he was better than all of them.

It took him time to think it over - during the punishment was as good as ever. He decided he wanted to be not only better, but the best. Learn potions. Learn to braid his hair so no one would be able to touch it. Learn to fight so good no one will ever get in his reach.

Felix got back the next autumn. They had sex on the very night he returned, and it was so much better than jerking off alone. Felix kissed him and fucked him and called him pretty. And Geralt didn't mind, because Felix was beautiful too. He maybe fell in love with him, lighting up with a smile every time he spotted familiar red hair in the halls, and that love lived in him for several years. They stilled called him pretty and special. Felix rubbed his nose over Geralt’s neck and asked “so what?”

"You'll make it. They trained you well, didn't they?" Felix said, and Geralt believed him.

Trial of Medallion only left four of them alive. Ivur died. Geralt didn't feel sorry.

They started to study signs after that, their medallions humming on their chests warm and pleasant. Eskel suddenly turned out genius at it.

Geralt forgot about potions and started to spend more time in the library, reading Monster books and History. He copied the stories about knights on their writing classes. Kaer Morhen only had so many books in the library because witchers wrote them themselves, page after page. Geralt did it well enough they even let him copy a small bestiary with drawings.

He trained more. Got good enough they let him enter their annual fighting contest, with witchers of all ages competing in front of others. He had learned enough potion recipes to survive. How to help wounded people and wounded witchers. Funnily, he also got excellent at scything, making sure Kaer Morhen's horses always had enough grass for the winter.

The first time he's been to a contract with a mentor, it went well. The first time he went to clean a wyvern in the mountains, he came back with not a drop of blood.

When he turned seventeen, Geralt met Felix. He had no idea why they never spoke before. Felix was five years older and has already spent his first year on the Path. They spent evenings on the castle walls, talking about everything, starting with the stars and ending with the upcoming Trial.

He could not make a Quen just as steady as Eskel's, but his Heliotrope worked well, and it's not like there were many bruxas out there.

With a newly chosen name (sadly not the one he wished for), he was ready. Or so he thought. Because aldermen had different opinion.

"Alderman Mislaw? You've written you have harpies nesting nearby. I can..."

"Do they have girl witchers too, now? Get out of my sight! Thank god a normal witcher already took care of them."

Maybe he had to break his nose of something. 

"Sorry, what?"

"I'm here about your contract. It says you have a wraith. I can help."

"Sorry, boy, I guess I wasn't clear enough. Get the hell out of here."

"But it's a wraith. You need a witcher for that, I know how to deal with them. You are the contract issuer, right?"

"And a witcher we'll wait for. You are no witcher."

"I am! You see my medallion?"

"I don't care who they give those to these days, but you look younger than my son, and he's fifteen. Get out and stop wasting my fucking time."

The son was taller than Geralt and had a small beard. At fifteen. Kids these days...

"I've killed a cockatrice just a mile away from here. Is there a reward for it?"

"A cockatrice?"

"Skoffin? Kurolishek? I don't know how you call it, but it's there, too big to carry here. I have its feathers and claws with me, if we could just walk..."

"You say you killed our skoffin? Sorry lad, don't believe you. He's a tough one, our skoffin. And you should better go ask for a place in a brothel. All better than to try and portray a witcher. Feathers, huh. I can take those from my chicken and say I killed a skoffin too!"

He had to buy a horse. Absolutely had to. Or get better knives, suitable for ripping off cockatrices' heads.

It took time, but he got there. Started to be recognised around Kaedwin. Used connections other witchers had, spreading their tale about people the same way people talked about them. Geralt had a good reputation and almost felt he became a bit of a knight from those tales he loved once.

And Blaviken stayed that way. Even with the massacre that happened on the market, people were safe. Stregobor left, Renfri was dead as well as her henchmen. People will bury them, clean the blood off the streets, forget it ever happened and live their life in peace, as earlier.

But it all changed so much after Blaviken. So much he never thought it could.

Blaviken used to be a nice place. A place with friends, with good folk who were friendly on the streets and treated wounded witchers well. Caldemeyn, the alderman, knew him thanks to several contracts and always made sure he had a place to stay. It was a peaceful town. No serious monsters around.

There were no real monsters in the world. Only the ones created by humans and humans themselves.

Geralt trailed away, deeply affected by the turn of events. He didn't care about Stregobor's fate. He didn't care that Caldemeyn despised what he had done. But Renfri, the Shrike, and her choices... He only had himself to blame, really. Blame the hope, the belief he had in people. He trusted her to leave town, trusted her to step back and be reasonable. And now he had blood all over his hands, hers and of those murderers, she brought with her.

It wasn't his fault. She had her chance to leave. She was the once making the wrong decision.

Roach got left in a nearby village. He walked there, buried in his thoughts, happy that all the potions and possessions were there, and that he had a paper about that donkey will be returned with him. Getting problems in the village as well would have been a nightmare.

It felt like a dream. The cozy evening they had a night before with alderman and his wife, Marilka asking stupid questions five-year-olds asked. The sex. The morning, the realization.

Snow was late this year, so he made it in time. The castle met him with familiar noise, hugs, warm bathhouse, cellars full of grain and wine, and children, jumping around in excitement. His story about what happened only got one reaction: advice to stay the fuck away from humans, Geralt, when will you learn. It was home, warm evenings, the silence of the land covered in snow and nights not so silent. When the spring came, he almost forgot about it, pushed far enough away not to think.

Eskel, Emir and Geralt left together. They took a contract together too, taking care of a huge and mad troll near Ard Carraigh, and split up, deciding to meet in several months in Tridam, to make a run for Kovir with its never-ending gold.

It was a good year. Until Geralt got to Tridam, as planned.

Roach, his good old Roach, smelled familiar and grounding. Geralt explained the donkey cart situation, thought about everything for a moment, collected his stuff and rode away, now to Holopole instead of Yspaden. After Blaviken, he wanted to spend the winter home.

The nickname followed him from a town to town. Ironically, he was now known as a Butcher in the northern part of Nothern kingdoms, the areas surrounding Kaer Morhen. In Temeria, Lyria and Cintra people didn't care much. Maybe Vesemir was right all those years ago, and saying he was from Rivia was indeed a good choice. He now spent most of his time further and further from home, avoiding the villages who's managed to learn the word of mouth. Only fifteen years later he passed by Blaviken, heading up to Kovir. Rode his horse cautiously and listened carefully to people murmuring around.

"Geralt! You're here too. Come over, join. Lech, this is Geralt, Geralt, Lech is a genius in gwent. You need to play with him. I lost twice already, and his cards aren't even good! Come."

It was good to see Emir again. The Path was lonely, but with other witchers around, it was easy to feel included. Normal.

Lech was already drunk and sent Geralt a wink.

"How bout strip gwent?"

Geralt smiled, unsure of what to answer. He set his saddlebags down, planning to sit down next to Emir on the bench, when someone pushed him forward. The push was strong enough that the table shattered, making Emir's ale fall on the floor.

"What the fuck," Geralt muttered and turned around.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing? I payed for that!" Emir raised to stand.

"We don’t want him here."

"What do you mean?" Geralt held Emir's shoulder.

"I mean, we don't want your kind here!" the man, who appeared sober and pissed, spit on the ground between them. It attracted attention and the tavern turned almost silent, deafening after the noise it usually produced.

"What do you mean, our kind?" Emir has met some witcher-haters, but he wasn't in the mood.

"I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to him," the man pointed to Geralt. "He killed half a village in Blaviken. Everybody knows that. A witcher with white hair. He's a monster! A butcher!" the man screamed.

The murmur around got louder.

"Hey, it's my brother you're talking about! Geralt is a decent man!"

"But I haven't... I killed the Shrike. Blaviken was safe," Geralt muttered.

"I've heard that too!" a woman from the crowd screamed suddenly. "My son was there, he helped to bury the bodies. It was a massacre!"

One by one, food started to hit them. The man pushed Geralt again, and suddenly the whole tavern became a pitfall. Geralt grabbed his bags and squished through to the exit door, followed by Emir screaming out blusters back. They had to run to their horses, axiing them and as many people around as they could, and abandoned the Tridam on full gallop, hearing the screams thrown their way.

"This is the Butcher of Blaviken," the village boy whispered to a girl who looked like his sister.

"Are you sure?" the girl whispered back.

"Yes. It's him. White hair, you see, pale as a witcher, and the two swords."

The girl's eyes went round as she blushed.

"Oh. I just didn't expect him to be so pretty."

Geralt hid his smile by lowering his head. Well, maybe it wasn't a curse after all.

There was a man standing behind him with a determined look on his face.

[itisspermo]

A dood who doesn't watch Adventure Time explains the lore of Adventure Time

So when Adventure Time first came out, the writers weren't really thinking about lore, so the first significant thing lore-wise was Fin's fight against The Lich, who is evil because he is evil, and Fin ends up using a glove that a previously established character Billy used, but it turns out to be useless as Lich tells it to quiet down, so Fin instead uses the power of being the main character to beat the Lich. Next important lore came from Ice King, who used to be a nerd, before his crown made him really crazy, and also maybe have been Marceline's, the vampire "queen", adoptive dad. This harkens back to a really interesting lore bit about a great mushroom war, which killed the real world and let Ooo exist, although after interdimensional junk and stuff about gods was introduced, this was dropped. Next big lore came when The Lich took Billy's body to trick Fin into opening the door to the cube place, were Prismo lived, and he wished everyone was dead, but then Fin wished Lich died first, accidentally stopping the great mushroom war and creating an alternate reality. But the Jake was like, "I wish to fix it." And it was fixed. This was when I dropped the show by accident, but don't worry, I still perfectly know the lore. After than Fin found his dad in a tower, but it wasn't his dad, but he still gave him his arm for a good reason. After that a really big bee gave him a new arm, that had a thorn in it, and could create a grass sword. Soon Fin got another sword that was made of himself, but that got broken and fused with his grassy sword, creating a grass Fin named Fern, who is important for like 2 days before having an identity crisis and steals a motorcycle to join the circus. Sometime after that Ice King became the nerd again, but then turned back. Also Prismo had a party so good that the Lich was there too, but he couldn't kill anything, so he just kinda sat around, until the real prismo showed up and killed him, and in turn Prismo, but then Prismo came from the past and locked Lich up, so it's okay. Then Fin learned his real dad was in the same jail as Lich, so he did a bad thing to get himself taken there. He met his real dad, but the Lich broke free and gave the best evil speech ever, before Fin covered him in glitter which gave Lich his skin, and became a widdle kid. Prince Princess happened. Then an Ice Girl who was better at ice than Ice King showed up and made everything weird, but Fin remembered he was the main character and fixed everything. Then he went oversees to see his mom, who was dead but not really because she was really a computer. Something something, Ice King went back to being a nerd, and the crown was ice king now. More something somethings, then Golb happened, who was evil incarnate, but Fin remembered he was the main character again, and fixed everything.

The End.

(Also Marceline is lesbian with a buncha gum with a crown.)