#Mulder and the Two Scully Sisters

[randomfoggytiger]

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part IX): Mulder and the Two Scully Sisters

The last part of One Breath's Scully Family coverage is here.

Mulder is out of options; and Scully is certainly dying. 

“You know Fox--,” Melissa begins, conversationally in the cafeteria; but she pauses when Mulder raises with jerky back-and-forth movements. Recalling Scully’s earlier forewarning, she restates, “Sorry. Mulder.”

Mulder shakes his head at her, a combination of annoyance at having to politely listen and annoyance at also having to listen to her drawn-out rephrasing. He’d rather be incorrectly called “Fox” than have to waste time waiting for the correction. 

Melissa is frustrated by his vengeance shoddily veiled with apathy, her open expression dropping into older sister admonishment.

“You could… spend the rest of your life finding every person  who’s responsible and it’s still not gonna bring her back.” 

Mulder is heavily annoyed, staring her down and responding only with an exaggerated sigh.  

On first glance, in theory, or on paper, Mulder and Melissa should have gotten along. Both are open to extreme possibilities and believe they can communicate with ghosts, spirits, and (likely) aliens. Why they don’t is because Melissa lacks the critical, pessimistic filter Mulder judges his own theories by-- he is a very pessimistic man to beliefs he can’t or won’t swallow (ex. Scully’s faith and established religion.) Melissa’s harmonic boogaloo is one of those things; and he casts her willful optimism into the same light as negligible and irresponsible naivete. 

Melissa senses this; but she also senses his outright refusal to address his own leaking wounds or be there-- really there-- for his dying partner, denying them both that peace before she passes. She’s determined to stop that. 

“Whoever did this to her has an equal horror coming to them,” Melissa says. 

Mulder nods to himself, convinced he, too, is culpable for Scully’s death (which will be revisited in S5’s Kitsunegari.) “Including myself.” 

Pinning him with her eyes, Melissa freezes. Her appraisal is cut short by a third party interruption; but she still squeezes out-- with the classic skeptical Scully raised eyebrow-- “What do you mean ‘yourself’?”

The first hint of true Scully skepticism seems to have placed him in a more open, honest mood. Mulder responds more to straight talk, thinking Melissa's pretty phrases and kumbaya sentiments are phony and dismissible. For the first time he regards the other Scully with something other than tolerance, leaning forwarding and becoming more vulnerably honest-- softening his expression and curving his arms comfortingly rather than erecting them as a stiff, unpassable barrier. He even absently curls one of his hands in a simple, limp-wristed gesture of little-boy-awkwardness, a sign he’s intensely focused on choosing the right words rather than guarding his thoughts and feelings. After all, he has no place left to run; and the emotional turbulence Mulder feels is so great he’d rather confide in this annoying Scully sister (the pre-Queequeg, if you will) than keep company alone in his head. 

Of course, this almost-vulnerability is cut short by the next mission, the next lead-- like Mulder and Scully’s moment in the basement when he reads about Arthur Dales in an old newspaper article-- and he gets up and walks off in pursuit of vengeance. Melissa doesn’t stop him, watching silently as he makes his decisions (as she had for Maggie, post here.) 

Many a failure and pep talk and second chance later, Mulder sits in his apartment, revenge in his grasp, thirst for blood in his mouth. His trap is interrupted by a knock from Melissa. 

Side note: Mulder heard her knock and was about to shoot her. Melissa should have learned not to show up to federal agents’ dark apartments without expecting to catch a bullet. 

“Mulder,” she calls after several unanswered raps. When he springs out the door, disheveled and searching the hallway, Melissa swivels her head around, too. 

Seeing nothing, she decides she’s accidentally disrupted a very disoriented Mulder from his nap. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles. “I came by… you weren’t answering and your machine wasn’t on.” 

Melissa is shaky, a bit startled… but very relieved. She knows how devastating losing Scully is for Mulder; and, when she hadn’t heard from him for a few hours, she tracked him down (most likely learning where he lives from Maggie… which means Maggie knows where Mulder lives) and had to make sure he was alright. Which means that Melissa could sense how thin a string Mulder is held together by after Scully’s tether has been snapped. 

Mulder reads this genuine concern, and he looks down-- feeling for the first time a connection with this strange amalgamation of Scully’s care, Maggie’s paranormal tendencies, and (to him) plain wacko opinions. 

A hint of his guilt pops through: he feels for Melissa’s loss (keeping far away from his own feelings on the matter) but is combatting that regret with what he thinks is avenging justice for her, Maggie, and Scully. And he is very angry when she disillusions him of that notion. 

At Melissa’s “Can I come in?”, Mulder panics, not thinking of a response fast enough. 

Melissa’s suspicion radar is activated, and she scowls. “For a second?” 

Giving up, Mulder leads (read: jams) her in, swiftly shutting the door behind him. 

“Why is it so dark in here?” she asks, concerned. 

“Because the lights aren’t on.” 

Concern fleeing in the face of aggravation, she mildly responds, “Okay” and passes over Mulder’s pique. 

Straightening her posture and folding her arms in a “no-nonsense” pose, Melissa informs, “I just came from the hospital. Doctor Daly says…” 

She stops, mimicking another classic Scully gesture: sucking in her cheeks and rubbing her tongue across lips from stress.  

“...she’s weakening. It could be… any time. So I figured you’d want to come down and see her.” Looking down with filling tears, she prepares for an onslaught from Mulder. 

Which doesn't happen. 

“Well I can’t.”

Instant righteous Scully indignation-- the kind Maggie and Scully herself uses on a regular basis. It runs in the family. 

“Well, I think that you would.” 

“Yeah, well--” Mulder snaps, intent roiling under his pointed response. He falters, “I would--”; then hobbles over his voice crack with a definitive, “I can’t. No right now.” 

Melissa came on a mission of mercy; but it now dawns on her that Mulder is slapping that offer away willfully, more ready to dole out danger than to inflict it on himself. 

Anger building, she steps forward and mutters, lowly, “Listen. I don’t have to be psychic to see that you’re in a very. dark. place. Much darker than where my sister is.”  (As Scully told Luther Lee Boggs, “It may be a cold, dark place for you; but it's not for Mulder.")

Sidenote: Her "you're in a very dark place" is unintentionally on par with the humor of "the lights aren't on" because:

#1. He is morally and emotionally in the dark; but also

#2. Mulder is literally standing in a dark patch of the room. 

Melissa, despite drawing nearer to the darkness, stays in the light. She tries to reach through the shadows and engage Mulder’s disengaged morality (“Willingly walking deeper into darkness cannot help her at all. Only the light--”); but her speech only angers him more, as he twists her sweet words in saccharine empty platitudes. 

“Oh, ENOUGH--” Mulder yells, conscience pricked. But his frustration brings out more honesty: “You’re not saying anything to me.” Desperation taints his voice, a subtle plea: “make sense, make it stop” warring within himself while she talks.  

Melissa knows that Mulder doesn't want to understand; and, furious, steps firmly into his business for the first time and squares off: “Why don’t you just drop your cynicism. And your paranoia. And your DEFEAT. Y’know, just because it’s positive and good doesn’t make it silly, or trite. Wh..why is it so much easier for you to run around trying to get even than just expressing to her how you feel?”  

Mulder has been looking down, trying to shut away the truth; but at her last sentence, his head bolts upright. Before he can make a snappy rejoinder, Melissa cuts him off, refusing to let him break her eyeline while forging ahead on the steam of disappointed indignation.

“I expect more from you-- DANA expects more.”

Again, Melissa speaks for her sister (post here), relaying her messages in the present tense, confirmation that she’s spoken at length with her dying sibling.  

Mulder looks away once more; and she huffs, storming off towards the door. On the tail of his relieved sigh, she spins back and sends a parting shot: “Even if it doesn’t bring her back--”

Mulder shifts his eyes down again, spoiling for a fight (but restraining himself with a clenched jaw.)

“--at least she’ll know. And so will you.” Melissa sweeps out the door, not giving him room to even react. 

After another jaw clench followed by a door slam (and a hard lean to prevent him from breaking it down and screaming after his unwanted visitor), Mulder retreats back to the dark. 

But not for long.  

The right decision and a preemptive bout of mourning later-- the first time Mulder has broken down about someone other than his sister-- he answers the Scully call, expecting to hear of his partner’s death… and is overjoyed when told she’s woken up. He joins all three Scully women at the hospital, bearing gifts and a clear conscience. 

The loud click and squeak of the room door startles Maggie and Melisssa, and pulls Scully into awareness. While she slowly shifts her head, Melissa bounces from the chair, hoping Mulder will take her place by sinking into it. No such luck-- he’s not ready to be observed in his hospital vigils yet (he will by Redux II); but his smile lights up the whole room as he tugs a little gift behind him (ala the charm in Fresh Bones, the keychain in Tempus Fugit, and the doll in Empedocles.) 

“Hello, Fox,” Maggie coos, blissfully serene. 

The first thing Scully says is a correction (because of course it is): “Not ‘Fox.’ Mulder.”  

Beaming, she pops open her eyes with a cheeky grin on her face; but dials it back into as close to her own signature, serious expression as Scully can manage, her shirked Starbuckian duty-- lack of evidence for "Ahab"-- weighing down her joy. 

An important point: this is the first “Mulder” smile-- besotted, appreciative gazing-- that is shown in the series. Before now, he shared S1 smirks and S2 grins with his unacknowledged crush; but now he beams unabashedly raw emotion in triumph o’er the grave. He is in love; and he knows it. 

The first thing Mulder says is his concern (because it always has been): “How ya feelin’?” 

Scully swallows, searching his face. “Mulder, I don’t remember anything.” A rare woman Scully is: wakes from a coma, fears her partner’s disappointment, but level-headedly gives him the truth, anyway. Taking a winded, bracing breath, she tries to get her words out, but starts hasten and stumble over them after mentioning Duane Barry (her eyes flinching and her words shoving together.)  

“Doesn’t-- doesn’t matter,” he assures, shaking his head to dismiss the topic. He does, however, clench his jaw, a sign he’d caught how desperate Scully was to reassure him she’d done her best. It’s sad and telling how focused she is on not failing him, even on her own deathbed (which will be revisited, again, in Redux II.) 

Mulder has already chosen Scully over the Truth by sitting at her deathbed; but this is the first time she sees him make that choice. She nods; then closes her eyes to collect herself.  

As Mulder sweeps out his celebration gift-- Superstars of the Superbowl (a “we won, Scully! We beat the odds in the game of life!” flourish)-- and earns a “I knew there was a reason to live” from his partner, Melissa watches from behind, framed as a benevolent angel keeping guard as her two charges fumble around and titter in their newly realized love and glee. When he starts to walk off without the important words said, Melissa leans her head back against the post, fondly exasperated at the two of them. 

Scully, gaining a second wind, steps up to the bat. “Mulder….”

Melissa tries and fails to keep a smirk off her face as Mulder spins around, his feet sweeping loud circles on the hospital floor. At Scully’s measured “I had the strength of your beliefs”, two things happen with him at once:  

#1. Mulder self-consciously peeks sideways at Maggie to see if she’s aware of his private conversation the night before (or if she’s read between the lines, destroying his subtlety. Hint: Maggie figured out his feelings in Ascension-- post here-- and Melissa took one look at his middle-school-crush hair and oversized jacket and closed the case.) 

#2. Mulder quickly jumps from “I had the strength of your beliefs” to Scully’s cross, having kept himself afloat with the strength of her beliefs. Remembering that he has it in his pocket-- a personal talisman-- he reaches in and tenderly hands it back. 

A bonus third point: 

#3. Melissa hadn’t known he’d been the necklace keeper; and she plainly shows her surprise as the proceedings go on. 

Maggie is touched, melting in her miracle and rewarded trust. 

Scully discerns that this is her necklace, and immediately turns to her mom. The two hold a silent conversation-- the mother still tying religious value to the gift that her daughter does not-- and Scully is comforted (in an ironic way... and aware of that fact) that nothing has changed. She then turns back to Mulder; and the two stare silently at each other.

Mulder stops himself from further, heartfelt words, reminded that Maggie and Melissa are there-- and are staring like hungry vultures. Getting shy, he slithers off (but not before getting a full view of Melissa’s big, plastered, satisfied smirk.) 

Overall, Melissa Scully and Dana Scully are two very different women; and Mulder is probably the most thankful man on this planet for that fact. While he gives Melissa her due, the two are oil and water; and between her and Bill (who we will get to), family holidays would probably have been a very... interesting time.

Mulder recognizes, however, how right she was in this circumstance; and that her persistence made him admit to himself his love for Scully, taking a massive step forward in his emotional growth. Without Melissa's influence, Mulder's "gazing" wouldn't be to the same degree that we recognize as part of his character. Not only that, but he would also have missed out on a powerful, life-changing (and, for Scully, life-saving) lesson.

And thus ends One Breath.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[carefulfears]

thinking about maggie looking up at mulder from her deathbed, grabbing his hand, directing her final words to him, rather than her daughter. 20 years after she stepped in between him and a gun, wanting to leave him with something. her grandbaby’s father. how mulder brings up scully’s coma, but for those 3 months “back in the day,” it was him and maggie. it was him and maggie at the crime scene and on the bench outside the fbi and choosing gravestones. how he was always invited by her. “this is a moment for the family, but you can join us.” so many decades of phone calls, check-ins, the way that in wetwired when he calls and she doesn’t answer, he knows. the inherent connection that comes with knowing your closest person’s closest person: two emergency contacts, two people who always have to be notified, two people who are always at the side of a hospital bed or funeral or event. two people who know what “i’m fine” means, what an eye roll means, what a nosebleed means. closeness in the periphery.

[medicaldoctordana]

When I rewatch Lois & Clark the new adventures of Superman, all I think and feel is that the show is just daytime x-files.

The trench coats are the same, chasing leads about the inexplicable, platonic work partners totally and irrevocably in love with one another, bad suits and ugly ties.

The only difference is that L&C spent half their budget on lighting. And it’s more daytime sitcom than late night thriller.

[garashir]

this Colony/End Game arc is all over the place

[bakedbakermom]

@onlineproblems asked me this while workshopping some fic and I don't want to go to the grocery store so I'm gonna procrastinate by answering!

So to understand where I'm coming from, we first have to go back to the pilot.

When Scully goes down to the basement office for the first time, she introduces herself as Dana Scully, and the next words out of Mulder's mouth are, "Who'd you piss off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?" The way he says it is so fascinating to me. The emphasis. The hint of teasing. The deliberate dismissal of her first name, as if he's certain she's not going to stick around long enough for him to care, and moreover that he doesn't WANT her to stick around, doesn't WANT to care. He's all alone in the basement, the FBI's most unwanted, and he likes it that way (or at least he thinks he does).

In that scene, "Scully" itself becomes a nickname. Like she's his annoying little sister (🥺) tagging long on his adventures but she's NOT welcome.

Little does he know that Dana Scully is not just a little sister, but the THIRD child, and therefore has taken Little Sistering to a professional level. She gives it right back to him without missing a beat, sassing and challenging and not flinching away from his questions or his graphic (for 90s TV) slideshow. She teases him right back every step of the way, countering his "Scully" with her own "Mulder" in precisely the voice you know she used to use when Bill was being a little shit about "no girls allowed."

Thus "Mulder," too, becomes a nickname. Like he's her jerk older brother trying to exclude her from his Very Serious Work, but he doesn't know what a tenacious little pomeranian she is and she won't let him get away with it.

From then on, that's what they are to each other. Scully and Mulder. Mulder and Scully. A team, but not always on the same side. A pair, but able to split toward their own purposes. A unit of two individuals.

I came across this post this morning, about how they are CONSTANTLY saying each other's names. Like, every other line of dialogue, if not more. I swear Mulder starts and ends his sentences with "Scully" sometimes. It really is A LOT.

But also, when they do this, it's so incredibly intimate. They assign so many different meanings to their names with just the tiniest lilt and tremor and shift in cadence. (This is a testament to both GA and DD's acting skills, that they can pack whole paragraphs of emotion into just two syllables.) They say it with fear, with fascination, with tenderness and curiosity and challenge and anger and frustration and humor and disbelief. As prayer and plea and profanity. With promise and passion. And eventually, with love. So much love.

They say "Scully" and "Mulder" the same way I call my husband "honey." It's not just a name. It's who they ARE to each other. Their names are just a shorthand. An anchor. A question and an answer in one. She's his Scully. He's her Mulder.

It's not the syllables that matter. It's the feeling behind them.

Which brings me to pet names. When I write MSR, I tend to leave the pet-naming to Mulder for the most part, because he seems like a pet-namey kind of guy. And Scully, who has never struck me as a pet-namey kind of gal, lets him get away with it because he calls her "baby" the exact same way he calls her "Scully," and he calls her "Scully" the exact same way he calls her "baby." They have spent so much time calling each other by nicknames that aren't nicknames, that the actual sounds coming out don't matter anywhere near as much as the emotion inside them. He could call her "sasquatch" or "football" and she'd know exactly what he meant. (HC that she gets some Chewbaca-inspired lingerie at some point, and he calls her a sexy little sasquatch, and she's stunned by how turned on she gets.)

Scully only uses pet-names sparingly, in times of great emotion or overwhelm. He told her once (just once) that he doesn't like being called Fox, and so "Mulder" is her baseline name for him in nearly all circumstances. She'll call him "honey" when he kisses her neck just so, or "baby" when he's hurt and needs comfort, but the truth is he loves hearing every last shade of "Mulder" from her lips. Every possible way she could ever say his name, he hoards those syllables like a dragon hoards gems. He's never loved the sound of his own name, except when she's the one who says it. When she does use a pet-name, on those rare occasions, it resonates with him in a very deep way. Sparkling diamond "sweethearts" amid the troves of emerald and ruby "Mulder"s. A glowing opal "honey," slow and sweet as a sigh. "Baby" like a sapphire, like her eyes when she kisses him as if he's the only other person in the world.

If they ever did marry--even if it's just them in their unremarkable kitchen with a pair of second-hand rings and nothing but stale cereal as witness--their vows would be simple. Four syllables, evenly divided.

[aloysiavirgata]

Unremarkable house, Brother Bill, rooster

Mulder is in the big hammock out back, sprawled like a Roman Emperor. The chickens are out, pecking for bugs among the goat droppings. He has a lemon shandy in a frosty glass. He has a tomato sandwich with tomatoes from their garden and homemade bread. He has Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell next to him.

He has misgivings.

Scully enters his field of view, stage left, “Mulder, you’d better put those damn chickens away before he gets here, especially Francisco. That rooster is a complete menace.”

She glares at the enormous bird. They’ve had a few scuffles, she and Francisco. There have been Band-Aids and three stitches.

He slurps at his drink. “You don’t think your brother wants to see my big cock?”

She is silent for a long moment. Then, “I swear to God I will literally kill you, Mulder. I will shoot you and I will bury you out here and I will put a big gazebo over your grave and every time I sit in it I will think about how much you had it coming.”

She stalks back to the house.

“Jesus,” Mulder says to the chickens. “Someone is in a mood.”

***

It’s an awkward greeting, but not as awkward as he’d imagined. He and Bill have always hated each other, which makes it easy to pick up where they’d left off, like two enemy pirate captains running into one another at a bar in Tortuga.

Bill, per usual, looks like he was waiting for the Dulcolax to kick in. Douchebag plaid shorts that Rob Petrie wouldn’t have touched with a ten foot golf club.

He sweeps his sister up in a massive hug and she got rather teary and Bill, to his credit, looks a bit pink around the eyes and nose as well. He puts his sister down after a moment, smoothing her hair.

Bill and Mulder then acknowledge one another’s undeniable existence on the material plane. Shake hands like sulky but well-mannered children after a baseball game.

***

Now they’re on the deck while Mulder tends the grill, three gorgeous steaks from a neighbor’s cow before him.

“It’s beautiful out here, Dana,” Bill says.

“Mostly Mulder’s doing,” Scully replies, sipping at the wine her brother had brought. “He’s honestly a wizard with this property.” She glances at him when she says it and he smiles back.

“Really?” Bill says. “Well, color me impressed. Mulder, I had no idea you were such an adept little homemaker.”

Mulder moves the steaks to a serving platter. “Oh, sure. Dana just uses me for cooking, yardwork, and sex.”

Bill chokes on his beer and Scully closes her eyes for a beat the way Anne Boleyn must have when they led her from the Tower.

Mulder sets the platter on the table, uncovers the potato salad and the asparagus. Sourdough rolls and goat-milk butter.

“Now Bill,” he says, “you tell me if that steak is too rare and I’ll pop it right in the microwave for you. Let me know if you need anything else, some A-1 or ketchup or anything at all. I want you to feel at home.”

Absolute daggers in Scully’s eyes.

Bill coughs lightly. “Everything looks fantastic, thank you both.”

“It was good of you to make the drive, Bill,” Scully says, loading up plates with food. “I know it’s a bit of a haul.”

Bill smiles indulgently. “Couldn’t be this close to my kid sister after so long and not swing by!”

“Though we would have understood,” Mulder says, warmly. He butters a roll and passes it to his brother in law. “Never feel obligated.”

Bill narrows his eyes as he accepts the bread. “Thank you.”

“I’m going to need some new pictures of the kids,” Scully says brightly. “Matthew must have grown six inches since that school photo you sent, Bill! And Mom says Claire has lost two teeth.”

“I’ll tell Tara to send some,” Bill says, puffing up.

They eat in silence for a time. Knives cutting through the tender steaks and stabbing into waxy potatoes and young asparagus. Butter dripping down chins.

“It’s a shame William isn’t growing up here,” Bill says, wiping his plate with another roll. “Dana, how could-“

Her fork clatters to her plate and he shuts up.

A roaring silence like an event horizon.

“Bill,” Scully says, sweetly. “We have the most beautiful rooster to show you.”

[tennant-the-tigger]

Cheat

M: I'm way too wired, I'm going for a run, you want to come?

Can I say, Scully would have been ready to run if she wanted to? Homegirl was wearing running shoes, cross-legged in bed while typing those reports. Also running ahead is definitely a baby sister of two brothers move. And this Mulder is adorable.

TXF Fanart ☆ MSR Fanart

[is-on-its-way]

The moment Mulder quits

A point in which Mulder was ready to quit the minute he saw Scully hold a baby in season 7 and its effects in season 8

*this is my headcanon, its not gospel obviously Firstly, two scenes that are very linked in my head

Season 7 Ep 22 Requiem and Season 8 Ep 16 Three Words

Look at that face. That dead serious, at all costs face.

Season 7

Requiem. The culmination of Scully and Mulder's secret yearish? long quest for a baby. They've tried for a baby with IVF already. Mulder has promised her he wont give up on a miracle for her and they're well... trying basically, throughout season 7. Perhaps I would call it "hoping" for a baby. Maybe Mulder is hoping and Scully is characteristically ambivalent? Fully not using any contraceptives and I know there's a fic in there somewhere, anyway

The first scene above is why Ive never watched past the season 8 finale. nothing past them agreeing to be a family makes any sense because of Mulders face here. People knock Duchovny for not showing out when acting, but I will always be a defender of subtle acting. The way he can say an entire monologue of dialogue with the minute expressions on his face is quite breathtaking here.

Hes goes from sorrow at Scully not being able to have a baby, sorrow at her loss, sorrow at not being able to give her that; to regret at what he thinks is all his fault, at dragging her into this life; to pure love and affection for her seeing this baby in her lap and how good she is with him; and then a smile peaks out. A smile of hope that could compete with the Mona Lisa. Hope for their future and the certainty with which he knows what he wants so clearly, maybe for the first time in his life. His own family.

Like for the first time hes really deciding the cost is too much and he chooses her over the mission. He chooses their future over everything. And he's hopeful and perhaps even happy about it. which for someone with his amount of family trauma is a seismic shift. For so long he's chased the past in hope of fixing it, completely discombobulated and reckless in his search for well, his family.

Though, from the beginning of that moment in the rainy graveyard, he has slowly unconsciously coming to regard Scully as his family. In small gestures, a hand on her cheek or voicing out loud how important she is to him; to big gestures, giving up who he believes is his actual sister to save her.

We are lucky here, to be able to witness the moment the sparks of unconscious thought bloom into the flame of certainty. He follows up as well. Tells her she has to stay, that the cost doesn't outweigh the price anymore. Sure he wants to finish out this case, but he doesn't work without her, thats been established. Him telling her to stop, is his resignation as well. (There's a fit there too, with Skinner and him on the plane probably Skinner already knowing he's done.)

Thomas Flight praises subtly in acting better than I could ever articulate here:

Season 8

Mulder was weird and the PTSD was implied, but I choose to see it everywhere. After the moment in three words where Mulder tries to let them go gently because he thinks he's too damaged to be a father (Thanks @randomfoggytiger for the meta on that) (there's a fic here obviously where Scully gives him the space to be broken and also hers) After this though, he's not the Mulder as we've seen, ever. He's not the Mulder who

cares about exposing the government so he can say I told you so

cares about saving the public from the invasion

cares about finding the ultimate truth that has driven him since he found the X files

cares about solving cases and one upping the FBI, trying to force them to admit the truth out loud.

Mulder is fighting the entire season for his family.

he cares about exposing the conspiracy so everyone including his child will be safe.

he cares about saving the earth for his child's future

he cares about his childs and his families safety

he has zero concern about the FBI and what they do anymore.

In the second scene above, he's about had it with the entire conspiracy and he's downright pissed. He wants it all to end he doesn't care how. He wants to protect his child above everything. Sure he's usually reckless but this isn't for him and his self involved cause anymore, it's for his family, his wellbeing be damned at some points along the way. He states his thesis in three words while breaking into FBI files in an astonishing show of recklessness

"Look, Scully, I need to make sense of what happened to me. So that I can stop it. Because if I can't stop it, it could happen to anyone. It could happen to you. And who's to say it's going to stop there?"

I always wondered why he was putting Scully through all that, without realising this was the reason. Poor guy. There's nothing else in his purview anymore besides that baby who's in danger, and his family, so much so, when he is ultimately fired from the FBI, he's positively giddy at his newfound freedom.

If he had then gone down a path temporarily where he murdered his way through the remnants of the syndicate to assure the safety of his family John Wick style, I would've absolutely believed it.

It would've been insanely intriguing look at an evolving dynamic between Scully and Mulder. Scully law abiding Mulder reckless as always but with a different motivation. Becoming what he's always feared, to protect the family he has never had. A family he feels like he's only grasping at, as they're slipping through his fingers due to the danger and his recent and past traumas.

There's a reason a lot of the fandom sees Mulder as a happy stay at home dad post wherever they decide to end watching. Thats what he's been searching for his entire life. A happy family with loving parents. When he let go of that dream for himself in Closure, he found he could want that for his future family whatever that looked like (adoption, a miracle, etc.) in Requiem. And I personally don't believe he ever would let that dream go once he realised, I mean we all saw the devotion he had to his sister right?

In other words these are my reasons season 9 onwards make zero sense and I regard them as AU

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully and mulder moments from s1

the evergreen classic mulder reaction to a terrified scully knocking at his door in the very first episode- how he checks over her, holds her close, and brings her into his room

(and then ANOTHER instance of examining each other for aliens in episode 8 which was wild. if i had a nickel for each time they had to look at each other's bodies for evidence of aliens, i'd only have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but its weird that it happened twice)

him playing with scully's necklace in episode 3, while admitting he feels "territorial"

the first time he calls scully "dana", right after her father dies- which surprises her so much she mumbles her name back to herself- and he follows up by grabbing her face and gently running his finger over her cheek

(and the first time she tries to call him "fox", after he had been awake for 3 straight days on a stakeout, and she begs him to go home- he laughs and says he even made his parents call him mulder)

((still, she brought him a sandwich and a drink- “if there’s an iced tea in that bag, could be love” “must be fate- root beer”))

scully in Doctor Mode™ after mulder got stuck in the fire in episode 12, trying to give him water as he lays in bed, while he gets all emo and pushes her hand away

when scully gets kidnapped in episode 15 and mulder calls her "dana" again over the phone, her first name slipping out in his fear, then he tells the kidnapper "listen to me, you lay one hand on scully, and so help me god..."

(and THEN he tells everyone going on her rescue mission that this is a very important mission to him, so please everybody do their best)

the endless banter: "i still don't get it. what does this have to do with us?" "robbing a jewelry store is a federal crime" (flatly) "thank you."

when he is at an autopsy with scully in episode 18 and makes it very clear he does Not Want To Be There (but she still is sad he won't join her on her next one in episode 22!)

"happy birthday scully!" (pause of confusion) "you're two months early!"

when she finally listened to the psychic to get evidence for a case in episode 13, trying to make mulder proud- "i'd thought you'd be pleased i'd opened myself to extreme possibilities"- only for him to yell at her for putting herself in danger

(later in the same episode she screamed at the criminal, saying that if he did anything to mulder, she'd kill him herself)

((AND their conversation at the end of that episode when mulder is laying in a hospital bed: "why can't you believe?" "i'm afraid"))

the very empire strikes back coded fighting in the arctic compound in episode 8

"you think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot?" (stunned silence. scholars are still trying to figure out what was going on here)

oh, this one made me weepy: "i have never met anyone so passionate and dedicated to a belief as you. it's so intense, sometimes it's blinding. but there are others who are watching you, who know what i know, and whereas i can respect and admire your passion, they will use it against you. mulder, the truth is out there, but so are lies" aka the episode 17 monologue… what if i melted into a puddle? how would you react to this news? how about mulder the protector turning into mulder the protected?

(also, episode 17 had a moment where he grabbed her shoulder and leaned in and i had to restrain myself)

them having hand signals to indicate watch what you say, we’re being listened to

in episode 18, the preacher’s kid tries to taunt mulder with information about his sister and scully tries to shut him down Immediately

they’re looking for each other in the dark in episode 19 while a wild beast is on the loose and mulder finally kicks open the door and finds scully while she whispers “it’s okay, it’s me, it’s okay”

episode 20, when he shows her a bunch of lumberjacks, which he describes as “rugged manly men in the full bloom of their manhood” and he says she should look for anything unusual or a boyfriend among them... and she laughs

scully losing her mind when the evil cocoon bugs get on her, screaming at mulder to get them off of her, while he holds her still and explains it’s okay as long as they're in the light

(and then they sit on the bed, side by side, talking through the night)

when mulder’s friend dies and she kneels and says to him, “you’ve been through a lot… more than I think you realize” and encourages him to take some time for himself

any episode where they both wear big coats (for the snow in episode 8, or the rain in 20) is an instant classic to me

“mulder, you’re rushing me out of the room… is there a girl coming over?” from episode 11... yeah I laughed. and then laughed even more when he was just hanging out with deep throat in the next scene!

episode 23’s “how was the wedding? Did you catch the bouquet?” “maaaaybe 😊”

and who can forget the finale! she apologizes for doubting his alien leads; “I should know by now to trust your instincts” “why? no one else does” (both smile and i, once again, collapse)

there's so much to unpack here and i could spend a lifetime doing it, but before i watch s2 for the first time i needed to make note of the things that especially made me happy or brought great angst to the forefront; i am studying their dynamic and putting it in a bottle <3

[actual-changeling]

One breath, but Mulder shows up in Scully's hospital room with tear tracks still drying on his face and his first real smile since she was taken. He's out of breath, probably broke several dozen traffic laws on his way back to her, but she's awake.

Not Fox, Mulder, Scully corrects her mother, and she is reaching for him before she can think better of it. His hands are warm and shaking and familiar, and he sits down next to her like she's made of glass. Like he is going to break her if he allows his fear to spill out onto the floor.

His mouth opens and closes repeatedly until he finally manages a hi, watching her lips move into a smile. hi. Mulder tentatively lifts their intertwined hands and kisses her knuckles while squeezing his eyes shut.

He wants to fall to his knees and thank every god he doesn't believe in for bringing her back to him, he wants to hold her and press her to his chest until he no longer feels empty inside, he wants to bury his face in her hair and fall asleep with her safe in his arms. At some point during the last few weeks, he must have slept, even if only for a few horrifying hours, yet all he recalls is suffocating darkness and her screams echoing in his mind.

I missed you, Mulder whispers against her skin, but she hears him—she always does.

I heard you, she responds, tugging on his hand to pull him closer. I heard you, Mulder. I felt the strength of your beliefs.

Maggie and Melissa are silently watching the exchange, but they've never cared less about prying eyes and unsatisfied curiosity. Scully's gaze catches on something, and Mulder follows it to the glinting gold cross around his neck. The chain runs through his fingers like water, thin and fragile, and the only thing that helped him stay sane enough to keep going.

Kept it safe for you, he tells her, and takes it off to fasten it around hers instead; it's finally back where it belongs. Tears burn new, glistening paths down his cheeks, and he doesn't bother wiping them away.

I was so scared. It's a confession, it's an apology, it's a promise, and he shuffles closer and closer and closer.

I was so fucking scared, Scully.

Her fingertips are cool against his flushed skin, and he closes his eyes at the contact, fearing that if he moves, she will disappear again. For so long, nothing in his life mattered more than the nebulous truth hiding the fate of his sister. Then she walked into his office with a smile and trust in her heart, and suddenly she wasn't simply helping him discover the truth—she became the truth.

Scully squeezes his hand and traces the line of his jaw, and two warm pairs of eyes look away when she tilts her head upwards, meeting Mulder in the middle as he leans in close, closer, touching.

She kisses him softly because she wants to. Because she can. Because she can taste salt, relief, and light on his tongue, a sunrise swallowed and hidden away throughout the night.

Thank you for not giving up. He couldn't have lived with himself if he had, and it's written across his face and woven into his soul. Losing her would have meant losing himself, and there is nothing that could have stopped him from following her to wherever they would have gone. Together or not at all, and he has no idea why she stayed, why she is still staying after everything he put them through.

You found me, he cannot say; you found me and brought me home. You found me and you saw me, and I don't think I will ever know why you decided I was deserving of your grace and your presence in my life.

They press their foreheads together, and a by now familiar hand lands on his shoulder as Maggie reaches for both of them—family, she had called him, over and over—and there is nothing but warmth offered to him.

Thank you for coming back.

[baronessblixen]

Fictober Day 30: When You Know What You Want

Prompt: "I won't let you down"

Mulder and Scully have to babysit baby Matthew Scully. Rating: T, wc: 1,416

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober24

“Mulder, it’s me.” The clock reads 8.57 a.m. when he answers Scully’s phone call – the same time she usually strolls into their basement office.

“Is everything all right?” He’s trying to keep the panic out of his voice. Whatever is going on, Scully doesn’t need him freaking out.

“More or less,” she says with a sigh and he’s half out of his chair already. “I can’t come into the office today.”

“Are you sick?” He squeezes the phone between his ear and shoulder, opening his email, ready to inform Skinner that neither he nor Scully will be available today.

“No, I’m fine – I mean, I’m not sick.” She sighs again. “My sister-in-law Tara called me half an hour ago, frantic because my brother Bill is running late and she has a job interview. My mom is on a trip with her book club and well, I guess that left me.”

“You didn’t mention your brother was in town.”

“I didn’t know,” she says through gritted teeth. “He didn’t want me to know. It was supposed to be some big surprise. That completely backfired. Either way, I’m watching the baby until Tara comes back and it could be hours.”

“Do you want company?” He doesn’t even need to think about it. He’d much rather babysit Bill Jr. baby son than sit around in the office all day, missing Scully.

“You don’t have to do that, Mulder.”

“What if I want to?” She takes her time thinking about it.

“Only if you want to,” she says, but he’s certain he hears relief in her voice. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on his part.

“I’ll contact Skinner and then I’m on my way.”

“Oh Mulder, if you’re coming over, could you pick up a few things on the way for me? Just in case.”

“Sure thing. I won’t let you down.”

*

Scully’s “just-in-case” list is longer than any grocery list he’s ever written for himself. He finds everything easily enough and catches several looks from women – mothers, mostly – who gawk at him.

“Your wife is so lucky,” one says in passing and Mulder stares after her, speechless, convinced he’s in a parallel universe. He forgets about it quickly, hurrying to get to Scully and baby Matthew. He met the boy as an infant; his face had been wrinkly and his eyes closed.

Since then, he hasn’t even seen a picture of the boy. He wonders why. Scully has mentioned him here and there, just like she’s mentioned other members of her family. But he doesn’t know what to expect when he knocks at the door, hoping the baby isn’t asleep.

Scully opens the door with the boy on her hip, smiling at Mulder.

“Hi,” he says, overwhelmed all of a sudden. Scully with a baby in her arms is a sight he doesn’t get to see often. He’s surprised how many emotions it unleashes in him.

“This is my friend, Mulder,” Scully explains to Matthew in a soft voice that makes Mulder stare at her in awe. “Do you want to say hi?”

“No.” It’s more spit than letters and the expression reminds Mulder of the baby’s father. He hopes the dislike isn’t genetic.

“That’s his favorite word,” Scully says, running a hand over Matthew’s soft, reddish hair. The Scully genes must be strong.

As he steps inside, he can’t help but wonder what their child would look like; his and Scully’s. Would their child have red hair, too? Would it have Scully’s nose? God, he hopes so.

“Here’s the- here’s everything you asked for.” He hands her the bag, forgetting that she has the child in her arms. The transfer is awkward but they manage.

“Can you hold him for a second? He doesn’t bite.” Scully hands him the baby and for a moment, the two just stare at each other.

“Hello, Matthew. You probably don’t remember me,” Mulder says as Matthew reaches for his nose. They always go for the nose. “I met you when you were born.”

“Guh!” he exclaims, seemingly agreeing with Mulder.

“I work with your aunt, you know. She’s great, isn’t she? She is. You smell like cookies, Matt. I bet she let you have cookies, huh? Remember how cool she is. You can always come to her when your parents – well, when you need a place to stay.” Matthew listens to him carefully, a finger in his otherwise open mouth. He’s quiet and not fussy, surprising Mulder. He’s heard horror stories of toddlers having crying fits when in a stranger’s arms. Not this little Scully.

“I think you might be my new favorite Scully,” Mulder confesses to him, tickling his stomach and making him gurgle with laughter.

“I’m no longer your favorite?” Scully just stands there in the doorway, her arms crossed, a big smile on her face.

“Matt, I think I’m in trouble.” The boy just laughs again. “You’re still my favorite Scully, Scully,” he assures her. “But this one’s quite cute, too.”

“He is,” she agrees and he thinks he sees a flicker of pain cross her face. “You can hand him back now. Unless you want to feed him.”

“Sorry, pal,” Mulder says, handing the toddler back to Scully, “I’m not qualified for that.”

*

“Toddlers are messy,” Mulder remarks a couple of hours later after Tara has come to pick up Matthew. She apologized to Scully – and Mulder – for springing the boy on them, but both assured her that they didn’t mind.

“They are,” Scully agrees, picking up random toys. She didn’t ask him to stay and help her clean up, but he thought it was the least he could do. Especially after his interactive storytelling in which several plush toys were flying around Scully’s living room.

“But they’re also cute.”

“They are that, too.” Her voice is soft; too much so. He thinks about the moment earlier when he thought he saw something in her expression. There’s something in the air and he isn’t sure if he should grasp for it.

“He has that Scully hair.” Scully chuckles, without looking over at Mulder.

“Bill always hated it when he was younger. I hope it will be easier for Matthew.” She’s holding one of the stuffed animals in her hand; a small giraffe. Mulder just watches her, waits.

“Mulder?”

“Yes?” She’s still not even looking at him, making his heart beat faster, knowing she’s going to say something important.

“Have you ever… I know we once talked about- but have you ever seriously considered having children?” He wishes she were looking at him. He wants to see her face when he says this. But he knows this moment is fragile as it is and he’ll take what he can get.

“For the longest time, I didn’t. It just never crossed my mind and my life – the job… it just wasn’t anything I thought about. Then I met Emily and I saw you with her and…”

“Emily?” Scully turns around and her eyes are full of tears. He nods slowly.

“That’s when I started thinking about it.”

“You could meet someone tomorrow and-”

“I have met her already, Scully. I think you know that.” His admission is not a surprise. Scully glares at him for a second before she looks away, nodding to herself.

“That’s… that makes this easier, actually,” she says, laughing uncomfortably.

“Makes what easier?” Suddenly his heart is pounding, his throat dry.

“I got a second opinion on my ova and um, they say there’s a chance. A chance for me to have a baby.”

“Scully, that is wonderful news.”

“I’ve been thinking about it – debating it, actually. Whether it was something I even wanted to explore. Today showed me that I… that I want to at least try. I have to try.” A few tears fall from her eyes and Mulder nods, overwhelmed by emotions, too. A Scully baby. Red hair, blue eyes, and a sweet smile.

Her child.

“When I thought about it, even before I made a decision, the only person I considered asking…,” she trails off. He has a hunch, but right now is not the time to jump ahead. So he waits. He looks at her, proving that he can be patient. He will be there for her, no matter how long it takes.

“I want you to be the other part of the equation.”

And there it is. His heart takes flight and he doesn’t even need to think about it. He grins at her, hoping she understands.

[randomfoggytiger]

The Scully Family In-Depth: All Parts

So proud to announce that the Scully Family In-Depth series, a project spanning more than a year's time, is complete.

Feast your eyes on all 25 parts!

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part I): Childhood and The Pilot

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part II): The First Christmas Death

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part III): A Facade and a Funeral

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part IV): Luthor Lee Boggs, Love, and Letting Go

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part V): Miracles, Lyle Parker, and Psychic Charlie?

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part VI): Maggie Scully and Mulder Meet

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part VII): Mulder, Maggie, Melissa, and the Snake

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part VIII): Maggie Calls Mulder "Fox"

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part IX): Mulder and the Two Scully Sisters

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part X): One Breath and the Scully Men

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XI): The Last Conversations of One Melissa Scully

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XII): Prophecy, Death, and the Question of Fate

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XIII): The Erosion of Scully’s Security, on Tape

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XIV): When Nature Turns So Cruel

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XV): "Other Fathers", Deleted Scenes, and "Things to Prove"

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XVI): Crouching Cancer, Hidden Motives

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XVII): The Doubting Thomas

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XVIII): Best-Laid Schemes Often Go Awry

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XIX): Eyes Averted, and Final Decisions

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XX): The Brotherhood of Miscommunication 

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XXI): Faith, Fear, and Scully Symbiosis, Part I 

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XXII): Faith, Fear, and Scully Symbiosis, Part II

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XXIII): Loss, Second Chances, and In Absentia 

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XXIV): Guardian Angels and Inverted Nativities

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XXV): The Mulder-Scully Family, a Convergence of Fate and Freewill 

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[carefulfears]

thinking more about this moment in closure, and how his hands are on samantha’s words, and her hand is on him.

[mytardisisparked]

Toothbrushes

While Doggett searches Mulder's apartment during "The Gift," he finds evidence that connects some non-case-related dots.

Read on AO3

The apartment is only a little dusty, which is a miracle, considering how long he’s been gone. The fish in the corner bookshelf seem content and their tank is fairly clean; a testament to Scully’s care. Doggett appreciates that she looks after her partner’s pets and home while he’s gone. There is a special kind of trust there, in giving a key to your home to someone else and knowing they will know what to do in the event that something happens to you.

Doggett tries not to think about the lockpicks in his breast pocket.

He gives the fish a little feed as a way of apologizing for disturbing their afternoon, disturbing their home.

He’s opened all the drawers in the living room with little to show for it. It’s mostly papers, supplies, bills, mail, and the occasional case file borrowed from the basement. Nothing of note. 

Despite the clutter, which Doggett feels a little bad adding to, the living room does not yield the gun he suspects Mulder has hidden here somewhere. 

He moves to the bedroom. The carpet is clean and appears to be fairly new. The mattress and bed frame are the same. He can’t help but wonder what might make a guy buy all new carpet and bedding at the same time, but he lets that thought go after failing to find anything of interest under the bed or around it, aside from a few shoe boxes full of trinkets. The nightstand is clean and holds only a few small items – a generic medicated chapstick, a photo of a young boy and girl that Doggett assumes must be Mulder and his abducted sister, and a baseball cap that says “STONEHENGE ROCKS” on it in bold letters. 

As Doggett smiles and looks at the hat, his eye catches on a small, black box tucked underneath. He sets the hat on the bed and picks up the box, his heart skipping a beat when he realizes that it’s covered in velvet.

He swallows and opens the box, finding exactly what he expected inside: an engagement ring. Judging by the wear on it, it’s old – perhaps it belonged to Mulder’s recently deceased mother? He relaxes. Carefully, he replaces the box in the drawer and sets the hat back on top of it before rocking back onto his heels and taking a deep breath.

He moves to the closet next, finding a few boxes of files inside, all pertaining to the Samantha Mulder case. They’re covered in dust. Doggett thumbs through them briefly, but finds that most of them are out-of-date. He figures Mulder has kept them for sentimental reasons, or as backups. Hanging above the boxes are a few suitjackets and a collection of the ugliest ties Doggett has ever seen. He smiles as he examines a few, reminded of the ties he wore back in the 80s. 

The bathroom is clean and well-organized. The medicine cabinet has a handful of bottles; mostly NSAIDs, but there are a few others that he assumes were for managing Mulder’s illness. There are some band-aids and other basic first-aid items. Most of the first-aid kit appears to have been used – par for the course, Doggett supposes, when you’re working the X-Files.

Under the sink is a plunger, shaving supplies, and an unopened box of tampons. Doggett nods at that – he always kept a box in his glove-box for his female coworkers, too. Beside it is a hairdryer and a scrub brush for the toilet.

Doggett stands and takes one last look around the bathroom for anything he missed. His eyes stop on a small cup by the sink.

The cup holds a comb, a tube of toothpaste, and toothbrushes.

Two toothbrushes. Equally used.

Doggett suddenly feels his cheeks heat. Investigating the life of an agent he has been tasked to find is one thing, but those toothbrushes mean that he’s looking at someone else’s life, too. Her life. Agent Scully’s life.

He knew that Mulder and Scully were close and that their relationship probably crossed more than one professional boundary, but he has never asked, never dared to assume. It’s none of his business and he doesn’t need to know.

But those toothbrushes…

The persistent, hard look in Scully’s eyes makes sense now that he has a better approximation of how far this goes, how entwined their lives really are. He can’t help but wonder what she was like before Mulder disappeared, what she would be like if she was happy.

What she’s like when she’s with the man she loves.

Doggett backs out of the bathroom and looks away from the toothbrushes. He feels a little sick to his stomach about it, but he needs to keep looking for that gun. He makes for the dining room and kitchen, hoping that space feels less sacred.

[cecilysass]

Honest Man (2/3)

Read on AO3 | Tagging @today-in-fic

Chapter Two

Mulder approaches the bar to find the bartender with her arms folded and her expression weary. She’s speaking to Bill and his friends in a condescending monotone.

“So your choices are that he can call a cab, one of y’all can take him home, or I can contact local law enforcement,” she is saying with an extended sigh. “He can’t stay. This is a place of business.”

Bill Scully doesn’t appear to be listening. He is bent over on a barstool, his forehead resting against the bartop. To his right, a group of men have gathered around him, nodding solemnly at the bartender. They look so serious Mulder would think they were attending a wake if it weren’t for the guy with the pink and silver cardboard hat that says “Lordy, Lordy, look who’s 40.”

“Yes, ma’am, we understand,” one of Bill’s friends is saying. “Thing is, we’re in the middle of a birthday party, and if one of us leaves now to take him home, we don’t have enough cars for everyone else. Give us a second to figure it out.”

He lifts a finger and turns to consult with his companions. The bartender watches them skeptically, pursing her lips in disapproval as she goes to tend to another customer.

Mulder takes the opportunity to discreetly trot up to Scully’s brother and sit on the stool next to him. “Hey Bill,” he says quietly, speaking to the man’s back.

Bill moans a little, lifting his head up from the bar to peek at Mulder through one eye.

“You know, I could drive you home,” offers Mulder, leaning over to be heard. Bill doesn’t answer.

Mulder leans his head to the side and clears his throat to attract the attention of Bill’s companions. “Hey, uh, I’m happy to drive Bill home. I know him, and I’m entirely sober. My car is here. It’s not a problem.”

“Oh yeah?” One of Bill’s friends, an early 40s black man a little taller and wider than Mulder, looks interested in this option. “Isn’t this the guy you were talking to before, Scully? He a friend of yours?”

“No,” Bill answers with sudden conviction. He sits up and swivels to speak to his friend. “Not a friend. A son of a bitch. The guy who ruined my sister’s life, Hal.”

Bill’s friends look at one another uneasily, as though not sure what to say in response.

“Listen, I don’t know, man,” Hal says to Mulder, scowling. “We don’t know you.”

“I’m his sister’s partner,” Mulder says apologetically. “At work. At the F.B.I.. Here.” He stands up and reaches into his pocket to pull out his badge, flashing it to Hal. “He doesn’t like me very much, but I promise—I’m a friend of the family, I can get him home safely. Are you staying at your mom’s, Bill?”

“Yeah,” Bill says, his voice muffled by the bar.

“I can take him to Maggie’s,” Mulder says. “I know where it is.”

“You wouldn’t have to pay for a cab or anything then,” a shorter man points out to Bill encouragingly, clearly hopeful about this solution to the problem. “You should go with him, Scully.”

“See, normally Bill doesn’t drink so much,” Hal explains to Mulder, his eyebrows knitting together. “We didn’t realize… we would’ve made him slow down. There’s something on his mind tonight, something with his wife. We didn’t plan for something like this.”

“Shut up, Hal,” Bill mutters face down into the bar.

The bartender has reappeared. Hands on her hips, she fixes Mulder with a significant look. “If you’re going to be the one to drive him, you better get going,” she says. “He already got sick in the back hall. He’s too intoxicated to stay.”

“All right, sure,” Mulder agrees, trying to sound cheerful, although he is suddenly filled with dread that Bill might get sick in his car, too. He looks down at the hulking figure leaned over the bar and is amazed for a moment that this is his life, his Friday night plans.

The Fox Mulder of ten years ago would have unquestionably been headed to Diana’s to have his brains fucked out.

He rests his hand lightly on Bill’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get you into bed.”

“That might work on your dates, asshole,” Bill says, slurring again, “but I’m not that kind of girl.”

Mulder chuckles, trying to put his arm under Bill’s so he can lift him to his feet. “That’s funny, Bill. I didn’t know you were funny.”

It’s an awkward lift, because Bill is such a tall man, but Mulder manages to get him off the barstool, with some hesitant assistance from Hal. Bill’s other friends watch with relieved expressions.

“Where’d she go, anyway?” Bill says, finally stumbling to his feet and squinting to see behind Mulder. “Your date?”

“She left,” Mulder says simply. He pats Bill’s arm playfully. “You’re my date now, big guy.”

“Don’t touch me again, you son of a bitch,” Bill growls fiercely, spinning unsteadily towards Mulder.

“Okay, okay,” Mulder says, backing away. “Then you’re going to have to walk by yourself to the car. You got it?”

Bill glowers at him, but manages to follow him out of the bar with only occasional stumbles.

***

Old Town Alexandria is brightly lit, festive, thrumming with groups of people milling around on a Friday night. When they arrive at Mulder’s car, Bill discovers that the seat is adjusted for a different Scully.

He tries to shoehorn his long legs into the car, cursing colorfully under his breath. Mulder watches this unwieldy process while gritting his teeth from the driver’s seat. It would probably make him laugh under other circumstances.

Mulder gets out, jogs around to the other side, and hesitantly bends down to show Bill how to adjust the seat with the lever. He then tries to demonstrate in clumsy charades where exactly the seat belt buckle fastens.

Eventually he has to precariously lean his body over Bill’s lap to fasten it himself, wondering if awkward moments with Scully’s brother will just continue to keep one-upping themselves. Bill sits sullenly there as Mulder clicks the seatbelt in place, his arms folded over his chest.

Mulder guesses he’s not going to get a thank you card any time soon.

Now Bill sits facing the front window in sour silence as they drive through Alexandria. Mulder is having a hard time distinguishing between what is a sulky expression and what is a warning sign of impending nausea.

“You feeling all right?” Mulder says.

“Shut up,” Bill replies gruffly.

“Need to pull over or anything?”

“I said shut up.”

“It’ll take us about 35 minutes to get to your mom’s house,” offers Mulder. “Do you want to—”

“No.” Bill’s tone changes abruptly. He turns to Mulder urgently. “Not my mom’s.”

“I thought that’s where you were staying.”

“‘I’m too drunk,” he says adamantly. “I can’t go back and see Mom and Tara and Matty. I don’t want them to see me like this. Don’t go there.”

“But won’t they … worry?”

“Take me to Dana’s,” Bill says. “Please. Dana will know how to handle it.”

Mulder’s eyebrows raise uncertainly. “Maybe we should call her first.”

“Nah. Just drive there,” Bill says. “Dana owes me. I helped her sometimes when she was drunk … when she was younger.”

Mulder nods slowly, filing away that fascinating tidbit for later.

“Okay, sure,” Mulder says, keeping his tone friendly. “That’s closer, anyway. We can be at Scully’s in less than twenty minutes.”

Bill grunts in some way that seems to indicate approval. He leans his head back against the seat rest and goes quiet again. Gradually his whole frame begins to tilt towards the passenger window, and Mulder assumes he’s probably fallen asleep.

That’s for the best, really. Much less uncomfortable. Mulder mulls over the idea of turning on the radio. Or better, maybe fishing out his phone and giving Scully some warning they’re coming.

“Didn’t you go … to Harvard or something?” Bill’s gravelly voice speaks up suddenly, startling Mulder.

Mulder eyes the side of Bill’s neck warily. “No.”

“Yeah, you did.” Bill rolls his limp head around to look at him. His blue eyes are bloodshot. “Dana’d brag about your fancy education. Back when she first got the job.”

Mulder swallows a smile. “Did she?” He’s delighted to imagine her talking about him like that, especially early in their partnership, when she always seemed so unimpressed.

“You have some … degree for shrinks. Harvard, right?”

“Oxford, actually. Psychology.”

“Whatever.” Bill lifts a shoulder apathetically. “The point is, you know about relationships.”

“About relationships?” Mulder repeats doubtfully.

“You’d know what to say.”

“What to say…?”

“You know,” Bill says impatiently. “When you’ve said the wrong thing.”

He crosses his arms again petulantly. For a few moments after this cryptic statement Mulder thinks he has given up talking, but then he continues.

“Tara told me she wanted to go back to work,” Bill says. “You know, her guidance counselor job. She’s a high school guidance counselor.”

“That’s good,” Mulder says cautiously, confused by the turn in conversation.

“It’s good? Who says it’s good to go back to work?” Bill asks, his voice rising in irritation.

Mulder doesn’t answer, feeling out of his depth.

“Matty isn’t that old. Really still a baby. I’m gone all the time.” Bill appears to be arguing with the front windshield now. “Mom never worked. She was always there.”

Mulder doesn’t know how to respond to that. It sounds classically, villainously sexist to him, but he doesn’t want to anger Bill again.

“But I don’t think I … said things too well when she told me,” Bill says, in a different tone of voice. “I didn’t say the right things.” He shakes his head slowly, some more somber emotion breaking over him like a wave. “I said … the wrong things.”

Mulder nods, watching him out of the corner of his eye as he drives.

“We had a fight,” Bill says to the windshield, and it seems to Mulder he’s now entirely forgotten who he’s actually talking to. “A big fight. This morning at my mom’s. And when I went out with the guys from the Academy tonight, I just …” He drifts off.

“Got drunk as a skunk?” suggests Mulder quietly.

“Yeah. I guess,” says Bill gruffly. He closes his eyes and releases a long breath. “So how do I fix it?”

There’s a pause as it sinks in precisely what Bill is asking.

Mulder clears his throat and tries to keep it light. “Bill, seriously, I’m the last guy on the planet who should be giving anyone marital advice.”

“I acted like a dick, I know I did,” Bill continues dully. “The job … is important to her. She misses going to work every morning and all that. Makes her happy. I acted like … some caveman. Like I was my dad. I just don’t know how to… how do I talk to her about it now?”

He brushes his knuckles over his eyes. Mulder isn’t sure if he is prepared to handle Bill Scully, Jr. actually crying in his car, but he feels an involuntary pang of sympathy.

“Well,” Mulder says, choosing his words carefully, “I’d say you should probably be completely honest. Tell her what you just told me. That you know you acted like a dick but you regret it. That you know how important the job is to her. And then … you know, try to listen to what she tells you. Really listen. Be willing to, uh, compromise.”

Bill turns to look at him, still aggressively rubbing his eyes, which seem wet. “Yeah, okay,” he says. “You think that’ll work?”

“Sure,” Mulder says, shrugging a shoulder. He’s not one to know a lot about success in relationships firsthand, but it seems like straightforward, foolproof enough advice to him.

“Hm.” Bill sniffs, quickly rubs his nose. Then he seems to relax and let his eyes fall close.

He is unsettlingly quiet for a few moments. Mulder sneaks a curious glance over at him, again wondering if he’s fallen asleep.

“Why do you do it? To Dana?” Bill mumbles, his eyes still closed. “I know you’re an asshole, but I kind of think you love her.”

Mulder stares numbly at the road and doesn’t respond right away. When he does, he finds that the truth unexpectedly slips out. “I do love her.”

“You have a fucked up way of showing it,” Bill murmurs.

“Scully and I are partners,” Mulder says by rote. “We’re not involved.”

Bill opens his eyes and gives him a look. “Both of you say that a lot.”

“It’s true.”

“My sister loves you so much that she’d do fucking anything for you, and you don’t even …” He drifts off, and he snorts. “I guess it’s not my business.”

Mulder wants to respond in all sorts of ways, like “Scully doesn’t do things because she loves me,” or “Scully is her own person and makes her own choices” or “You’re right, it’s not your business.” But it’s like his annoying-ass voice has finally run out of words to say.

“You know what? I’m gonna try what you said with Tara,” Bill whispers sleepily. “I really am.” His eyes droop exactly like his sister’s do when she’s tired. “I’m actually gonna do it. I love her, man. You do anything when you love her.” He closes his eyes for the remainder of the car ride.

***

When they arrive at Scully’s, it’s not that late, only about 10 o’clock, and Mulder has definitely banged on her door at worse hours and for worse reasons.

Yet he feels oddly anxious about this situation, like he’s the one who has done something he has to delicately explain.

He taps his finger against his hip in rapid rhythm as they wait for the door, her brother propped up against him like a giant sandbag. Bill’s alcohol must be soaking in cumulatively, because he seems to have become progressively more wasted, not less.

“Mulder?” comes Scully’s puzzled voice through the door. He doesn’t know exactly how much she can see through her peephole. Bill is slumping heavily on him now, though, and Mulder is buckling under the weight. He’s eager for Scully to let them in quickly.

“Scully,” he says in a strained voice through the door, “I’ve got a special delivery for you.”

They hear the metallic clicking of Scully’s various latches unlocking. Mulder gives Bill a reassuring pat and hoists his arm up higher on his shoulder.

“Bill?” gasps Scully. She is wearing some silvery silk pajamas, which is typical interrupted evening wear for her, but still always manages to give Mulder a little inappropriate thrill. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Dana,” Bill manages to mutter. He stumbles off of Mulder’s shoulder into her apartment. “How ya doin’, sis.”

“Is he … drunk?” Scully asks Mulder, stunned.

“In a manner comparable to a skunk,” Mulder confirms. “I ran into him in Alexandria. He was getting into some trouble, but it’s all worked out now, isn’t it, Bill?”

“Imma sit down,” announces Bill, sinking down on her sofa somewhere inside.

Her eyes wide, Scully runs her hand over her mouth in consternation, as if unsure whether to laugh or cry. “Come in, Mulder.” She turns back to her brother. “Do Mom and Tara know where you are, Bill?”

Bill has sunk backward on the sofa, his head lolling, looking up at the ceiling. He vaguely groans.

“I don’t think they do,” Mulder tells her. “He asked me to bring him here because he didn’t want them to see him like this. He said you owed him.” Mulder gives her a curious look and leans forward to add: “Looking forward to that story.”

A perfect roll of her eyes. “One youthful transgression, and you’re apparently obligated for life.” She huffs and locks up her door, then spins back around to Bill. “All right, Party Boy, let’s get you settled in the guest room. I’ll call Mom and Tara.”

***

It takes both Mulder and Scully’s full effort to get Bill safely ready for bed. Mulder would never have dreamed one day he would be struggling to help Scully take off Bill Scully’s shoes, dragging him into the bedroom, tucking him into bed. But he finds himself actually fluffing the pillow, encouraging the man to lie down.

“Best thing you can possibly do is to sleep it off,” Mulder advises in the world-weary tone of a wise old frat boy.

Bill has grasped Scully’s hand, and he seems to be solemnly pumping it up and down. “Thank you, Dana,” Bill whispers scratchily. “You’re a good, good sister. You know that? A good sister.”

“You’re welcome,” she says, faintly amused. “You’re right—I’m a world class sister. Now put your head down on the pillow, Bill.”

But Bill twists to the side and grabs hold of Mulder’s shirt, pulling him down towards him.

“Listen,” Bill says, leaning heavily into Mulder’s face. “Listen, man, thank you. For the advice about Tara. That was all right.”

Helplessly, Mulder looks up at Scully. She has a hand on her hip, and her eyes widen in surprise. She can’t contain an amused smirk.

“No problem,” Mulder says, managing to gently extricate himself and lower Bill back to the bed. “I hope it works out.”

“Me, too,” Bill says, nodding. “And I’m sorry for yelling at you, for interrupting your date. You’re all right.” He pats Mulder’s arm gingerly. “You’re all right.”

“It’s fine,” Mulder says, feeling his ears going fiercely hot. “No worries.”

He looks up quickly at Scully. She doesn’t look amused any more. No more smirk. It’s as though her face has been shuttered and boarded up, like all expression of emotion has been put away.

Mulder feels a stone in the pit of his stomach.

“I don’t wanna be rude or anything.” Bill’s voice is a barely understood mumble by now. “But I think I’m gonna sleep for a while.”

Mulder tries to catch her eye, but Scully just nods brittly and turns away.

***

[deathsbestgirl]

i actually think we need to talk about big brother fox mulder and little sister dana scully. they are not siblings but these roles they have play into their dynamic, especially (mostly) early on. whenever i think of season one, i think of the way scully teases mulder. the way its all in good fun because she likes him. and she doesn't go too far because she respects him (and she's an adult who understands boundaries & limits). i think of the way it takes mulder time to adjust to this. like it's a shock that she's being friendly, but that isn't the only reason. but also because he hasn't had this dynamic in a long time. i think of the way scully admires mulder, wants to learn from him. she doesn't want to be like him, but there are aspects of his character she wishes she had. mulder values scully for who she is, in a way her father, brothers and past authority figures haven't. they are not sibling like at all really. they're something completely brand new to each other, that neither has experienced before. i think there's a deep respect surrounding family between the two of them that's extremely hard for me to articulate but it colors their relationship, it's part of their personal respect & understanding, it's something they give to each other freely (purposely & not), it's a reason scully dedicates herself to mulder & the x files, it's a reason scully earns his trust. these two have so much love within them, and family has been the place they've been able to express that most. even if it wasn't always healthy or good, even if it wasn't always accepted or reciprocated. they both had so much to offer each other. they both had wounds to heal. in a way, they healed it for each other. gave each other the tools to do it. but it's a life long process.