#Mr. panucci

[capt-t-leela]

Fan theory I have zero evidence for beyond character design:

Leela’s dad is Mr. Panucci’s mutated descendant.

[futurama-in-color]

FUTURAMA 1.01 - Space Pilot 3000

[myloveforhergoeson]

October 3rd

Prompt: Bones

"Babe! Panucci's messed up our order!"

James' panicked tone carried from the kitchen to Roxy's bedroom, where she'd sloughed off her coat to hang in her closet while her boyfriend took his time setting up a nice display for their take-out dinner. It wasn't often they'd see eye to eye on what the perfect after-work meal would be - Considering James loved all things healthy and Roxy ate like a bachelor - but tonight, for some reason he'd been craving some pizza and wings, so they swung by the local joint on the way back to 2-H.

"Someone's got to try really hard to fuck up a pepperoni pizza..." The witch replied, emerging from the doorway to stand beside him, taking in the nice spread he had created for them. Two sodas - One Peppy Cola and one Peppy Cola Zero - were popped open, straws inside, while the large pizza box lay open, displaying their piping hot meal. The delicious, meaty smell coiling off the pizza's surface was enough to make Roxy salivate... And everything about the pizza looked just fine, so he turned to her boyfriend and tilted her head in confusion.

With an exaggerated sigh, he flipped open a small box beside the main one, revealing their dozen buffalo wings.

Just the sight of the wings alone made his girlfriend's stomach growl; Everything looked just fine to her.

"They're bone-in!" He cried, pointer finger flying in the direction of their appetizer as though he was accusing someone of murder. "It's such a scam - There's so much less meat!"

Roxy took a breath. She didn't understand what he was talking about at all. Wasn't a wing a wing?

Maybe I'm too accustomed to using bones in my potions... Oh! I have to remember to save them after James throws them out...

"I'm sorry, James... I'll remember to double-check the order before we leave next time." She settled on, lacing her fingers between his. "Unless you'd like to drive back and have them fix it?"

The singer shook his head, long hair sweeping back and forth to match the movement. It was so nonchalant, but had Roxy's knees threatening to buckle regardless. That, paired with the adorable pout on his lips, made her want to forgo the meal entirely and drag him over to the couch and kiss him breathless.

God, he was so adorable.

"No, it's fine..." James assured her, bringing the back of her hand to his lips before letting go and pulling out one of the two chairs for her to sit on. "We've already wasted too much of our alone time to keep worrying about it."

He waggled his eyebrows up and down as Roxy moved in front of him, sitting down as he pushed the seat in.

"So ridiculous," His girlfriend mocked, catching his eye as he moved to sit across from her. The wink he shot her sent a shiver down her spine.

-

The pair ate quickly, breaking down the parts of the day where they were separated at work while he and the band had dance practice with Mr. X and she was stuck in the writer's room with Gustavo.

Oddly enough, the ravaged chicken bones remaining on her plate reminded her of her father; It had been quite some time since they'd spoken and the creamy, ebony shade standing out from her black plastic plate reminded her of the time she and Declan had tried to use similar small bones for divination purposes.

The Somersets were witches by blood. Their set of powers was very, very far off from those of diviners. Though they'd met many back home in Duluth, neither of them were ever able to emulate their strong form of magic.

But that certainly hadn't stopped him from trying.

Declan wanted to know if the Vikings were going to make it to the Superbowl that year and that felt like too dumb of a question to ask a real diviner, so he'd busted out his copy of the family spell book and searched the index to see if any of their ancestors had a section on divine magic.

Somewhere along the family tree, a distant cousin generations back had detailed a divination ritual using similar-looking bones; When dropped onto a mat, the position in which they fell could answer a yes or no question. If they formed vertical lines, their ancestor claimed this to be a "yes" and if they fell horizontal, that formed a "no."

That felt more like chance than divination to the young witch, but her father pulled some of his stash of bones for potions and threw them on the floor of his workshop. They all landed horizontally and that year, sure enough, the Vikings didn't make the Superbowl.

But then again, they hadn't made it that far since 1977, so...

"I still find it hard to believe you don't have a bone-in or boneless wing preference," James shared, pulling her out of her head as she finished off the last bite of her pizza crust. "You're sure you don't like one over the other?"

Wiping the corners of her mouth with one of the white paper napkins she had stashed in a holder in the middle of the small table, Roxy shook her head. "Nope... As long as the flavor's good. You won't catch me complaining."

She stood now, lifting her plate from in front of her and moving in the direction of her trash bin, before doubling back and taking James' as well. "It's nice to know you like boneless though, I'll keep that in mind for the future."

For a moment, the tops of his ears turned red, a smile quirking up on his lips. "We're going to be together for a long time, right? Those are important things to know."

Roxy's foot caught on the leg of his chair as he spoke, stumbling forward and sending the two stacked plates flying across her tiled floor. "Shit!"

Everything clattered to the ground in an unpleasant cacophony of sounds; Now she had a lot more to clean up than a few dishes.

In an instant, James was at her side, checking to make sure she was okay before he bent down to pick up what she had dropped.

As he did, a small bolt of energy zapped through her brain; Something unexplainable was alerting her attention to the floor. "Wait!"

James paused, raising his hands into the air, confusion written all over his face.

The witch hardly had time to take in his cute expression. Her eyes were too busy being drawn to where the chicken bones had clattered onto the gray tile. Each one of them had fallen to the floor completely vertically.

We're going to be together for a long time, right?

Her boyfriend's words echoed in her head as she continued to stare at the bones on the ground.

There was no doubt her face was bright red; James had straightened himself up to take her flamed cheeks into his hands.

"Aw, it's okay, babe! There's nothing to be embarrassed about! I drop things all the time." Quickly, he pressed a kiss to her forehead before pulling away and gesturing to the mess she'd made. "I'll clean this up - Wanna go find something for us to watch?"

All she could do was nod, despite her fixated gaze on the bones.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss this ritual...

[doriandistortion]

About me

  ‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿

╔ ╗

My poetry: 🖤

My photography: 🩶

Rambling n stuff 🤍

╚ ╝

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Dorian || INTP || Ambidextrous || This is mainly my poetry account ||

˗ˏˋ Shitty people safe space ˊˎ˗

I’m chill with anyone interacting + I’m not mean I promise! I just look that way lol

DMs are always open

Dog bless

Fandoms I dabble most in:

Tales from the gas station, true crime, The Vampire Chronicles, villains duology

Things I’m into:

Old web graphics, Vampires, Pretty knives, Explore With Us yt channel vids, Psychology, Sad gray aesthetics, 90s emo, 90s anything, atwwd + wine and crime, The Magnus Archives, Tales from the gas station, creepypasta, audiobooks, analog horror,

Fave media:

Exquisite Corpse - Poppy Z. Brite

These violent delights - Micah Nemerever

Villains duology - V. E. Schwab

Scream (1996)

The Magnus Archives - podcast

The talented Mr. Ripley (1999)

Fave bands:

Sunny Day Real Estate, Million Dead, 12 RODS, Knocked Loose, Nirvana, Dismemberment Plan, Reuben, My Chemical Romance, Far, Mineral, Joy Division, The Decemberists, Scarling, Dresden Dolls, Manic Street Preachers, HIM, Bright Eyes, Acid Bath, Panuccis Pizza, KMFDM, Silverchair, Death Cab for Cutie, Slint, Leonard Cohen, Cursive, Modest Mouse, The Dear Hunter, Glassjaw, Set to Stun, Nine Inch Nails, Dumb As Rocks, El Creepo, Jack Conte, The Paper Chase, The Devil Makes Three, Braid, The Requiem, Mad Kelly, Blue October, any emo band ever new or old

Follow me on Spotify

0:00 ───|────── 4:25

[house-of-slayterr]

Depression Bands that Saved My Life:

Crywank:

Amber Run:

Pomme:

Matt Maeson:

Flatsound:

Keaton Henson:

Dandelion Hands:

Panucci’s Pizza:

Rainbow Kitten Surprise:

McCafferty:

[yung-pidge]

Instead have a character that is just Mr. Panucci from Futurama

Please remember that you do not need to have British accents in your fantasy story. It’s absolutely not necessary

[tamzarian]

Luanne ordering a pizza from Fry’s work and being like “and send the cute delivery boy” and Mr. Panucci sighs loudly with “He’s the ONLY delivery boy”

[t4llhum4n]

FUTURAMA Episode 101

"SPACE PILOT 3000" By David X. Cohen & Matt Groening Transcribed by Dave,

The Neutral Planet [Over the caption December 31st 1999 a crude spaceship flies through space, cruising over and under planets and a man speaks.]

MAN (voice-over) Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

[A planet opens up and a huge gorilla starts throwing barrels at the spaceship. It dodges a few but one hits it and it explodes. The gorilla thumps its chest and "Game Over" flashes on the screen. The spaceship and gorilla isn't real and the man, called Fry, was playing an arcade game called "Monkey Fracas Jr". He is in his mid-20s, wears a red jacket and has orange hair with two distinct forks at the front. There is a little kid standing next to him. The game is against the wall in a pizzeria called Panucci's Pizza.]

FRY And that's how you play the game!

KID You stink, loser!

[Mr Panucci, a middle-aged balding man wearing a vest, leans over the counter with a pizza box.]

PANUCCI Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out! C'mon!!

[Fry sighs, takes the pizza from him and walks out.]

[New York Street. Fry cycles past people enjoying their New Millennium Eve. A cab pulls up and he sees his girlfriend inside.]

FRY Michelle, baby! Where you going?

MICHELLE It's not working out, Fry. I put your stuff out on the sidewalk!

[Time Lapse. Fry is still on his bike getting more and more depressed.]

FRY I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life.

[Cut to: Outside Applied Cryogenics. He stops outside a building and locks up his bike. A man sneaks up behind him, cuts the chain and steals his bike.]

BIKE THIEF Happy new year!

[Applied Cryogenics. Fry steps out of the elevator on the 64th floor. He knocks on a door marked Applied Cryogenics. A sign underneath indicates No Power Failures Since 199[7]. No one opens the door so Fry goes in.]

[Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. The room is empty and there are no lights on. Strange pods about 6ft tall line one of the walls. There are a few other machines around the room and a desk and a chair in the middle of the room. Fry wipes some condensation from a window on one of the pods, revealing the face of an inanimate man inside. He turns around.]

FRY Hello? Pizza delivery for......Icy Wiener?! Aw, crud! I always thought at this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls! Here's to another lousy millennium.

[He unenthusiastically raises his hand and toasts.]

[Cut to: Time Square. Crowds have gathered for the countdown. 10 appears on a huge screen.]

CROWD Ten!

[Cut to: Paris. A screen on the Eiffel Tower displays 9.]

CROWD Neuf!

[Cut to: Vatican City. The Pope holds up a sign with "VIII" on it.]

CROWD Otto!

[Cut to: Egypt. Egyptians crowd around the pyramids.]

CROWD Sabaa!

[Cut to: Athens. People are gathered around the Parthelon.]

CROWD Eksi!

[Cut to: Great Wall Of China.]

CROWD Wu! [Cut to: Taj Mahal.]

CROWD Chaar!

[Cut to: African Village.]

CROWD Thathu!

[Cut to: Tokyo. A screen displays 2.]

CROWD Wu!

[From space the whole planet sees in the new millennium.]

CROWD One!

[Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. Fry unenthusiastically blows a party blower and starts losing his balance on the chair. It tips back. Fry waves his arms around trying to regain his balance. As he falls he doesn't see the shadow of a small creature under the desk. The chair tips back and Fry falls off it and rolls backwards into cryogenic freezer number 40. The dial on the machine automatically sets itself for 1000 years.]

FRY What the?

[He looks around and screams. In a flash he is frozen in time.]

[Time Lapse.Days and nights and eventually years pass � la The Time Machine as he stays locked in the freezer. Civilisation is destroyed by aliens twice until eventually huge buildings spring up around Applied Cryogenics. The timer stops 1000 years later and the door opens. Fry is unfrozen. Initially disorientated, he stumbles around and notices something to his right. He presses his face against a large window and stares in awe.]

FRY My God! It's the future. My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend. I'll never see any of them again. Yahoo!

[Opening Credits. Caption: In Color.]

Yeah no as a mobile user I do, in fact, feel awful for you guys

It doesn't mean that I won't retaliate tho

[bender-at-i-love-bender]

Fry has 100% dressed Seymour up in a doggy pizza slice costume for Halloween at some point

[prophezeiung]

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂   𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄 .       rules :    share five songs that represent your muse.   repost,  don’t reblog!

( all these are on my j2 playlist which i’m not saying u should listen to but... it’s vibey and also kinda pretty cursed )

―   𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊   𝐎𝐍����.    SKATE DEPOT — CHANNEL TRES

Hands up hands down / Almost threw my ass out / We ain't drunk / We want it on the wheel out / Round and round / The feeling so heavenly / Hands in yo pocket while we skate / To Franky Beverly

―   𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊   𝐓𝐖𝐎.      NARUTO THEMED SEXTING — PANUCCI’S PIZZA

Well if you come inside / I promise to keep you warm / I'm sorry for scaring you, being the selfish fuck I know / I am.

―   𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄.    SEASON 2 EPISODE 3 — GLASS ANIMALS

Leftover breakfast, cereal for lunch / She is broken, but she's fun / My girl eats mayonnaise / From a jar when she's gettin' blazed

―   𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊   𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑.      I’LL JUST DANCE — SU LEE

Maybe I'm a bit dumb / Got a lot of questions that / I don't know the answers to // I don't know who to ask / Even Mr. Google's like / Bruh, you need to figure this out on your own

―   𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊   𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄.    HEYBB! — BINKI

So I just wanna cry like lizards (waa, waa) / See I thought I had a chance but I guess not / Look babe I said it // I'm stressed, you got me feelin' nauseous / I'm stressed, you got me feelin' nauseous (he's stressed) / I'm stressed, I'm stressed / I'm stressed, you got me feelin' nauseous

tagged by:   @godbanes    tagging: @moonswove    ›   @vindictar   ›   @mangaien   ›   @anchoralpha   ›   @proditeur​

[futurama-in-color]

Wake up, Mr. Fry. Where am I? You're in the good old year 2000 working here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep on the job. Well, that sounds like me, but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future? No, you only "dreamed" you were in the year 3000. So I'm really back? Well, that's exactly what I wanted, I guess.

FUTURAMA 1.06 - A Fishful of Dollars

[baggytrousers27]

That’s Mr. Panucci.

[st-percocet]

rec masterpost

yo here’s some tunes that i recommend cause i get asked to rec bands/songs a lot so yea bold = absolute bangers that i can’t get sick of

SONGS: 1 trillion dollars - anti-flag 17 crimes - afi 302 - the lippies 5 to 9 - fidlar 6969 - ninja sex party acid baby - spilt addicted - simple plan afraid of heights - billy talent alfie - lily allen aliens are real don’t tweak - netherfriends all american girl - adickdid alone and stoned - king tuff alone is no together - jamie campbell bower / the darling buds a mask of my own face - lemon demon a more perfect union - titus andronicus a new wave - sleater-kinney anxiety - pinact atmosphere - joy division bad egg - hands off gretal bad habit - the kooks bad kids - black lips beach bones - more amor ft ryan ross beck and call - sundressed better man - jamie campbell bower better than sex - the midnight beast billionaire - travie mccoy ft bruna mars bitch theme - bratmobile black me out - against me bleed - out came the wolves bleed american - jimmy eat world body - mother mother boy grinder - jack off jill boyfriend - best coast boys wanna be her - peaches bubblegum - mystery jets but a nightmare - danzig byob - system of a down california uber alles - dead kennedys can we laugh now? - 7 year bitch cannonball - the breeders can’t go to hell - sin shake sin cardiac arrest - bad suns carried away - passion pit cat-o-nine-tails - L7 cemeterysexxx - doyle cheer up london - slaves chop suey - system of a down cold hands - the dose colder quicker - real friends come on eileen - dexys mightnight runners constant headache - joyce manor corrine - black honey crazy - gnarls barkley (cee lo green) creature - it looks sad. daddy issues - the neighbourhood dance like a maniac - the dollyrots danny don’t you know - ninja sex party dark necessities - red hot chilli peppers dark nights - dorothy death cup - mom jeans devilgirl - gorgeous frankenstein don’t come home - all human don’t mess with me - brody dalle don’t you wait - cloves dreaming dead girls - doyle egg - shoe. empty apartment - yellowcard even when the water’s cold - !!! evil eye - franz ferdinand faking the benz - from oslo family tree - black lips feels blind - bikini kill fill in the blank - car seat headrest firetruck vagina - baby guts first light - django django flannel - cardboard swords full circle - aerosmith fyi i wanna f your a - ninja sex party genghis khan - miike snow get busy - jimothy lacoste gia - fabulous disaster girls and boys - blur golden - travie mccoy ft sia good rhymes for bad times - bears in trees gothic roccata from the suite - léon boëllmann, roman penicki grace kelly - mika green eyes - wavves ha ha ha - the julie ruin hands down - dashboard confessional happy pills - weathers happy today - the wowz headfirst for halos - my chemical romance heroin - badflower hopeless - screaming females hung like jesus - cancerslug hypnotize - system of a down i killed abor day for you - panucci’s pizza i’ll be your butcher - cancerslug i look good - chantal claret it’s amazing - jamie campbell bower / the darling buds i wanna get better - bleachers i was a teenage anarchist - against me idiot - jeff the brotherhood is this sound okay? - coconut records i’m not crying you’re not crying are you? - dear and the headlights i’m not part of me - cloud nothings jellybean - video nasties jerk it out - caesers jerk of all trades - lunachicks just like you - nial harvest killer ball - gesu no kiwami otome kiss this - the struts la la lainey - forever the sickest kids ластоска - leningrad lezbophobia - tribe 8 liar - the dying arts lights out - royal blood lillibulero - bellowhead loner - fangclub lost on me - peace love bites (so do i) - halestorm makin’ whoopee - neil gaiman, amanda palmer max can’t surf - fidlar maxwell murder - rancid me and the bean - spoon miley - smwrs miss murder - AFI mixtape 2003 - the academic modern swinger - the pink spiders mother - danzig move (i’m coming) - chantal claret my best friend’s hot - the dollyrots my sharona - the knack nagoya - it looks sad. new born - purple nightmare - avenged sevenfold nite vision - mean jeans no surprise - the shacks not my girl - tokyo police club nothing can stop me - heavens to betsy nothing is wrong - analog rebellion no waves - fidlar oh bondage! up yours! - x-ray spex old folks home - cottonwood firing squad olly olly oxen free - amanda palmer (piano is evil version) only acting - kero kero bonito on your side - a rocket to the moon orgy for one - ninja sex party overdose - fidlar palm trees - smwrs panic switch - silversun pickups paradigm - avenged sevenfold paris - magic man psychedelic ascension - mr traumatik pudding - joel cossette rats - ghost red flag - billy talent river - eminem ft ed sheeran romance - wild flag romans - adam walicki salad days - mac demarco samantha - hole same damn life - seether same old blues - phantogram save me - aimee mann say it ain’t so - weezer schism - tool shia labeouf live - rob cantor shit twins - dads sick boy - kill hannah sick shit - together pangea silly boy - the blue van skulls and daisies - danzig slob - artificial fever soldier - dover southern comforting - hotel mira (prev. known as jpnsgrls) speak life - damien marley spooky ghosts - snckpck strange town - the moderates supermodel, superficial - voodoo queens sur la planche 2013 - la femme sweet ‘69 - babes in toyland sæla - black foxxes tears don’t fall (acoustic) - bullet for my valentine teenage whore - hole televisor - morningwood the beer - kimya dawson the devil’s son - creepshow the hounds - the protomen the sound of silence - simon and garfunkel the times they are a-changin’ - bob dylan think of you - bleached time bomb - rancid toy box - ward xvi transylvania - iron maiden trophy wifey - partyline turn me on (radio mix) - wet fingers twin sized mattress - the front bottoms typical girl - the slits ukulele anthem - amanda palmer us - regina spektor vampire’s kiss - john gold virgin sacrifice - doyle volcano girls - veruca salt wait for me - motopony waiting - jamie campbell bower waste of time - elvis depressedly weekend - smith westerns west coast - coconut records whole wide world - big tree without me - eminem you are going to hate this - the frights you’ll fall in love - mrs magician you’re gonna go far kid - offspring

BANDS: against me! - amanda palmer - artificial fever - avenged sevenfold - bellowhead - black foxxes - bleachers - bloodnun - blunderpuss - bullet for my valentine - cancerslug - cobra starship - counterfeit - danzig - dead! - death spells - doyle - earl. - electric century - fidlar - foo fighters - frank iero and the patience - ghost - good charlotte - gorgeous frankenstein - green day - hole - hotel mira - hounding - iron maiden - jimothy lacoste - kero kero bonito -leathermouth - leningrad - marilyn manson - mindless self indulgence - misfits - my chemical romance - ninja sex party - nirvana - papa roach - paramore - pencey prep - poison crow - pup - queen - queens of the stone age - rage against the machine - ramones - rancid - reggie and the full effect - simple plan - slipknot - spilt - sum 41 - swmrs - system of a down - taking back sunday - the darling buds / jamie campbell bower - the dead xiii - the dollyrots - the dresden dolls - the killers - the left rights - the levellers - the pretty reckless - the used - the world you love - video nasties - ward xvi - weathers - weezer - wolfe sunday - yellowcard

[fadingmidnightsun]

Disenchantment, disenppointment

There's nothing quite like the feeling when something you've been looking forward to for a while now, turns out to be a massive let down.

I'm only 3 episodes in and I'm ready to give up. I might ride it out to the end, just out of stubborn hope that it might somehow come round. But I'm not holding my breath.

I'll start with the obvious. The background and general world is gorgeous. It's amazingly well drawn and is worthy of any fantasy world. But that seems like that's where the entire mental and physical budget went. Because past that it's all downhill.

The artwork for the characters is lazy. It's just more mid era Simpsons standard. Not polished, and still basic. I know it's keeping brand familiarity, but they could stand to step it up a little to tie it in with the gorgeous scenery too. Don't get me started on the queen though. Pretty sure they just let a temp animate her. A particularly untalented temp.

The characters are all generic and flat. There's nothing endearing about them, no emotional investment. Bean is ok at best. But indecisive and insincere to the point of tedium. Elfo is pathetic. Sickeningly so. There is literally nothing redeeming about him. Dumb, needy and adds nothing but pointless complication to the adventure. Luci is just weak. It's a demon, but there's no edge, no spark, no life to it. Just a background character with about as much involvement as the generic "demon on the shoulder" for the odd decisive moment.

The voices are also lazy. Is John Dimaggio the only one cheap enough on the payroll to keep using? The king is just Mr Panucci. He was a gravelly New York pizzeria owner. It doesn't work for a king of a medieval kingdom too. You're a man with many, many voices. Use something new. Even the rest of the supplimentary cast are tired and familiar. Pretty sure it's just Kif from futurama half the time. At least throw Zap Brannigan in there, regardless of context. He's enough to make anthring funny.

On the point of funny, it's not. There hasn't been a single laugh yet. I almost smiled at a couple of clever bits, but there's been nothing properly amusing yet. I can't even remember half of what's gone on. The worst bit so far though, Bean's speech at her wedding. It was so flat and insincere, I don't know if it was meant to be a Mickey taking irony or if it was genuinely taking itself seriously.

They've just released a huge cloud of demons and evil on the world, I can't wait to see how this doesn't result in an interesting episode.

[loribherbstartist]

There are so many great monsters out there, (well, 3 anyway, according to Mr. Panucci) but there are only 2 monster actors I can think of who can take the silicone and latex appliances, the plastic and metal fashioned into claws and armor, the dentures, the tiny individual hairs fashioned into wigs and fur, the makeup and costumes that are all works of art in themselves, and make a wide variety of monsters come to life. The first is Boris Karloff and the second is this man, Doug Jones. Both bring such a sense of humanity, fragility, humor and realness to every character that I always feel compassion for them. These performances are as Oscar worthy as any out there. “Billy” will be available at the Hocus Pocus show opening May 18th at Sugarmynt Gallery. @sugarmyntgallery #hocuspocus #billybutcherson #dougjones #monstermovies #mrpanucci #futurama (at SugarMynt Gallery) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxX7mo0geDv/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1467tx2o5ya09

[an-aura-about-you]

Today is a special birthday drabble for my father @grendelsdad.

“Here’s to another lousy millennium.”

Fry holds up his beer in toast just as the voices outside begin chanting the countdown. He tips his chair back and swigs deep, T minus eight, seven, six. Just before they finish, he finds a leftover party horn on the table and picks it up. What the hell? It’s not like he’s gonna be able to do this the next time the millennium changes. The horn bumps his nose just enough to tip his delicate balance, but before he falls over completely, his flailing arms manage to restore it and the chair lands securely on its legs with a heavy bam!

“Who’s there?” calls a voice just outside of the room.

“What?!” Fry calls in return, tipping his chair back again and banging his head against a cryogenetic tube. He groans in pain and weakly asks, “Are you I.C. Weiner?”

The person approaches in the heavy tromp of security guard boots, shining a flashlight on him. In the span of the beam and the bloom of fireworks outside, Fry can see a glimpse of a purple ponytail and a sporty black eyepatch.

Fry whimpers and covers his head with his arms, curling into himself. “I’m sorry I ate your pizza! Please don’t stomp me!”

The security guard sighs in exasperated sympathy. “Look kid, it’s New Years and all I want to do is close this place up quickly and get outta here.”

Fry peeks from between his arms once it’s clear stomping isn’t going to happen. He slowly unfolds and sits himself up. The pain from the bump to the back of his head spreads and pokes needles in the back of his eye, and he tenderly rubs the spot that’s surely bruising. “Sorry about this,” he finally says. “I was just called to bring a pizza and some beer here, that’s all.”

The security guard flicks the flashlight to the table, spying the food there. “Well... My shift is basically over. This was the last room I had to check.”

Fry holds his hand out towards the pizza. “The beer’s probably not too cold now, though.”

“Just stick it in a tube for a couple of minutes,” the guard says, crossing back to the door and flicking the lightswitch on, soft feminine frame silhouetted in a form-fitting black uniform.

For a strange second, a hot twist in Fry’s belly makes him wonder if stomping can be brought back into the picture. Sexy stomping.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

She turns back to face him. “As long as it’s not about my eyepatch.”

“.........”

“Is it about my eyepatch?”

“Kinda.”

“Just ask the question.”

“What’s with the eyepatch?”

The security guard grabs the beer from the table and tosses them in the cryogenetic tube, twisting the dial. “It’s a birth defect, all right?”

Fry opens the pizza box and turns it towards her, a sort of peace offering. “Oh man, but you could’ve been a great pirate! Like the captain of the ship, even! But I guess it’s cool that you’re walking on the right side of the law.”

She furrows her brows, parsing out the unusual compliment. Eventually the timer dings and the chamber door pops open, a frozen fog spreading out by their feet. She reaches into the box and grabs a slice.

Fry accepts this little victory and goes to fetch the beer. He pops one off the plastic rings, switching it between his hands to shake the cold off and telegraphing a toss. “Catch?”

The security guard holds out her hand, mouth tugging to the side in a tiny, indulgent smile that only grows when the icy beer lands solid in her palm. “So, what does I.C. Weiner owe for the pizza?”

Fry shrugs. “Eh, I’ll just tell Mr. Panucci someone stole it with my bike. Besides, your name’s not I.C Weiner, right?”

She shakes her head. “I’m Leela.”

“Then I can’t make you pay for it.”

Leela takes a seat, sets down her beer, and chows on her slice.

“Fry! Pizza going out!”

Fry grins at the name and address, Leela at Applied Cryogenetics.

“This was the funniest call,” Mr. Panucci says, wiping his nose on his bare, hairy arm before tossing dough in the air. “She actually asked me to send the same delivery boy. Like I have another or somethin’.”

His heart skips a beat that propels his feet straight through the door.

“Pizza delivery for Leela,” Fry cheerily calls in the doorway.

Leela turns her swivel chair at her closed circuit monitor desk. “Thanks. By the way, what was your name again?”

Fry grins as he sets the pizza down. “Fry. Phillip J.”

“Great. I’ve been needing that to finish filling out this infraction form.”

“Wait, what?”

Leela fills out the carbons while Fry groans in frustration. “Don’t worry,” she assures him, stamping the pages and handing him the white copy as well as her payment for the pizza delivery. “It’s just a formality at this point.”

Fry looks at the spot reserved for a fine and reads that it’s been paid in full on January 1, 2000, the price being one pizza and one sixpack of beer. He tucks it in his pocket and says, “Thanks, Leela. And hey, lemme know if you catch I.C. Weiner.”

Leela rolls her eye as Fry leaves, but she can’t hide her own smile right before cracking open a beer.

Maybe the millennium won’t be so lousy after all.