#Motion & e-Motion

[laurfilijames]

Breathe

Part 7

Pairing: Will 'Ironhead' Miller x female reader

Words: 6.9k

Warnings: Rated E, 18+. Swearing. Trauma/PTSD/nightmares/insomnia. Unprotected intercourse.

Summary: Unanswered questions amp up every emotion that time does nothing to lessen, and so much uncertainty raises the concern if everything will turn out okay or if moving on is the only answer.

A/N: Less hurt than the last chapter, I promise! Thank you to everyone who was so enthusiastic and responsive to it and made all that angst worth writing!

Photo by @avatarskingdom and edited by me. Please do not use without permission or credit. Headers by the wonderful @spaghettificationandpretzels!

Chapter Playlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

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You felt numb as much as you felt angry, scared and heartbroken.

It was all still so surreal, having to remind yourself constantly that Will broke up with you and was gone, the persistent sick feeling in your stomach growing with every thought of his life being at risk and that even though he was no longer yours, you might never see him again.

You did everything you could to understand his side of things, but with that your frustration increased wildly, the fact that he hadn't even given you the chance to be there for him stinging almost as much as him abandoning what you knew, or thought, you had.

Did he really believe you wouldn’t support him, that you didn’t care enough about him to give him space and time while he dealt with all the things he needed to, that your love for him simply wasn’t enough for him to want to hold onto while he was deployed, that everything you thought you had been building was broken and false?

The toaster popped, shooting your slice of bread out, making you jump after forgetting you were even waiting for it.

You ate because you had to, but food tasted bleak and flavourless, and everything that landed in your stomach felt like it sat there and made your nausea even worse.

You had made a whole lasagna earlier just because, giving you something to do for the better part of an hour, but the thought of eating it was so unappealing and you had the idea that maybe you would drop it off for Benny. Taking a bite out of the plain piece of toast, you thought how awful it might feel to go over to the Miller’s house right now, and decided against it, opting to freeze the lasagna for another time instead.

Another bite and the toast was in the trash, and you stood in the middle of your kitchen unmoving, not sure what to do with yourself next.

You hadn’t slept, and whether it was fatigue or just your grief pummeling you, you broke down and sobbed, your body shaking as the memory of Will holding you in his arms in this very spot flooded you, dancing one night while in the middle of cleaning up dinner, pausing almost anything in favour of stealing a piece of each other.

Work was a welcomed distraction, forcing you to go through the motions and function like everything was normal, able to allow you to bury your emotions for the course of a shift and nearly forget about what had happened, only to have it all come back the moment you got in your car and started your drive home, knowing you had nothing to look forward to.

You hadn’t been back to the gym since the day you saw both brothers there all beat up from their brawl with each other, your body too exhausted and weak to even consider working out, but as you sat at your kitchen table with nothing else to do, you went and changed into your gym clothes and drove over.

It was busy enough, observing the evening crowd enough to keep you entertained as you walked on the Stair Master, each step automatic and absent-minded.

Through a few people and machines you spotted Benny, resting on a bench between sets of chest presses, his smile and slightly awkward wave making you feel equally so, and as he stood and started weaving his way over to you, you felt bad that he probably felt obligated to talk to you.

You stopped the machine and stepped down, grabbing your things in the assumption you would probably feel like leaving after this conversation, your water bottle shaking in your hand that trembled with nerves and adrenaline.

“Hey,” Benny said, somewhat hesitantly.

“Hey, Benny,” you answered, smoothing your hand over your sweaty hair.

“How’re you doing?”

You sighed, looking down at the floor as you shook your head. “Do you want the fake answer or the honest one?”

Benny huffed a laugh in understanding. “You look like shit.”

You laughed out of disbelief, bringing yourself to look at him as he scratched his head and tried to recover.

“I mean- fuck.”

“No, I look like shit. Feel like it too,” you confirmed, reassuring his observations.

“Are you looking after yourself?” he asked, his face full of concern.

You shrugged, “As much as I can, I guess.”

He nodded, sympathetic to your feelings. “Are you eating? Sleeping?”

“Here and there. Not much of both if I’m honest.”

“Yeah, I get it. Just do your best even though it’s hard.”

You hummed. “Does it get any easier?”

He tilted his head a bit. “Does what get easier?”

“The worry, the waiting…”

“Oh, uh…” he pulled his ball cap up off his head, smoothed his hair back and placed it back on again, this time backwards. “Yeah, I guess we all just get used to it in a way. But I’d be lying if I said that everyday you’re half expecting to get that phone call…”

He saw the tears in your eyes well to the surface, and unlike most times, Benny felt a bit speechless.

“I can’t stop thinking about him,” you admitted, your words not even directed at Benny, but rather said aloud simply because you couldn’t keep them in.

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” you went on, wiping your eyes and shaking your head like it would suddenly shake away your feelings. “I’m gonna get going, see you later.”

“Yeah, of course,” Benny responded, his voice soft. “Hey,” he called after you, making you pause and turn half-way to face him.

“Just don’t give up on him yet.”

You gave a weak smile. “I couldn’t if I wanted to.”

You made it to your car before you really fell apart, the tears coming down your face so hot and fast you could barely see to unlock the door, and when you flopped down into the seat, you rested your head against the steering wheel and wept.

The most overwhelming sense of panic came over you, taking control over everything and trapping you in it, your mind racing with every horrible thought imaginable, and before you could realize, your breathing had turned short and gasping, your mouth desperately trying to suck in air between sobs.

Your hands wrapped around yourself, squeezing you tighter than the grip of the anxiety attack was, feeling your whole body shaking and trembling and all you wanted to do was scream.

That was when Will’s soothing voice popped in your head, urging you to focus on your breaths and count each one, the sound of the numbers in his even tone allowing you to stop the panic, and you began counting out loud until your breathing eventually leveled out.

How could the same person who was the reason you were feeling this way manage to help calm you, you thought, exhaling slowly as everything around you started to come into focus again.

You ran your hands over your face, your body still shaking with each inhalation though they had become more regular, knowing that as much as you were hurt and betrayed, you still loved Will more than you could imagine loving anything.

Benny’s phone rang not thirty seconds after he’d just hung up, Will’s number lighting up his screen suspiciously close to him ending his conversation with Tom.

He pressed the green button to answer it, and before he could even get out a ‘hey’, Will’s voice stopped him.

“Are you checking up on me?”

“Uhh-”

“I heard Redfly talking to you, idiot.”

Benny scratched his head, trying to gauge which way this was about to go.

“If you’re wondering how I am, just ask me, Ben.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes that’s easier said than done,” he quipped, recalling how many forced conversations they’d had lately where Will gave short, vague answers to everything.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

Benny sighed, lifting his arm up in exasperation before letting it fall and hit his side, “I dunno, man, I just thought I’d get a truthful answer out of Redfly over you. He’s with you every day and can tell how you are.”

He heard Will sigh, and Benny took the pause as a chance to give his brother the opportunity to tell him for himself.

“So, how are you, then?”

Will sighed heavily again. “I don’t fucking know anymore. Okay, I guess?” he said, his uncertainty clear.

“Tom said things are going well with the op, and despite it all you seem like you’ve got your head in the game.”

“Yeah, that’s all fine,” Will explained, like his role as a Captain on this tour was the least of his worries. “It’s everything else…”

“Yeah…” Benny agreed, holding space for Will to continue.

“How’s she doing? Have you seen her?”

“Saw her at the gym yesterday,” Benny said carefully, trying to decide if it would be better or worse to tell him she wasn’t doing well, but ultimately knowing if he wanted Will to be honest, he would have to be too. “She’s not doing good, man.”

Will was silent, making Benny pull the phone away from his ear to check if the call had dropped or not.

“I can’t believe I did this to her,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, well,” Benny said flatly, “What’s done is done, now you just have to focus on finishing this job and getting back home so you can fix it.”

“Do you think there will be anything left to fix?”

Benny blew the air out of his mouth slowly. “That’s up to you two. If you both want it to work out…”

“That’s what I’m worried about. By the time I get back she’ll have moved on and learned to hate me.”

“You don’t know that,” Benny countered. Able to tell the expression that would be on Will’s face right now, he continued. “She still loves you man.”

“I wish she didn’t. She deserves better, not this shit…”

Benny’s heart ached for his brother, hating that he was going through this on top of being back in action, praying his stress didn’t get the better of him or be the cause of any fatal mistakes.

“Listen, man, I gotta go,” Will spoke, his voice weak and quiet.

“Yeah, okay. Be careful out there.”

“Always.”

The beep of the call ending sounded in Benny’s ear before there was even the chance to consider saying anything else, and he hoped Will would hang onto the thought that maybe it wasn’t all lost yet.

Days turned into weeks, but the amount of time that was passing didn’t help to make things feel any better, making you wonder every day if it would ever stop hurting.

Anger grew as you wracked your brain combing through every detail of every conversation and act that could've led to this, wondering where it was that you went wrong, but you still couldn’t pinpoint the moment Will gave up on loving you or what it was that made him peel away. It almost hurt just as much as him being gone did, unable to know what the cause was so you could try to rectify it and simply get closure as to why it ended, your heart like an open wound that would never heal.

You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time before exiting your room, on your way to meet two of your girlfriends for a quiet drink, your attempts to refuse unaccepted.

You couldn’t deny that it would possibly help get your mind off of Will, but you knew it was futile as everything you did and everywhere you went, he was there.

“That guy can’t stop looking over here at you,” Grace said through a grin as she nudged you with her elbow, and you twisted in your chair slightly to follow her gaze.

You took a sip of your wine as you assessed the man with dark brown hair and brown eyes staring directly at you, his smile bright and clean, his lips plump and inviting.

You said nothing as you turned back to your friends, raising your eyebrows as if that was a response that would appease anyone.

“Come on, he’s gorgeous!” Nicole urged, tilting her head indignantly.

“I never said he wasn’t!” you defended, but in your head all you could think was how he wasn’t Will.

“You need a rebound fuck,” Grace suggested, and the thought made your stomach flip.

“I’m not ready for any of that yet,” you admitted, hoping they would understand how raw everything still felt.

“We know,” Nicole sympathized, giving your hand a squeeze as she placed hers overtop, and you knew they would support you in anything whether it was continuing to miss Will with every part of your being or hooking up with the next man who walked by.

“Oh shit, he’s coming over,” Grace blurted, adjusting in her seat as a wide smile appeared on her face.

Your heart plummeted in your gut, and you sighed, praying this wouldn’t be as horribly awkward as you were expecting it to be, trying to find the energy to be kind and cordial despite not wanting to.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” a deep, smooth voice purred behind you, and you felt the demand of his presence as he stood beside your chair.

His eyes were even more alluring up close, and his crooked smirk was equally charming as it was sexy, the dark scruff around his mouth complimenting his olive complexion.

You swallowed, feeling unable to find words, and with a low chuckle, it prompted him to continue.

“I couldn’t help but want to come over to say hi and introduce myself.” He spoke with such confidence, his voice so seductive. “I’m Cam.”

He held out his hand for you to shake, and you did, feeling your hand tremble slightly before he took it in a firm grip and moved it up and down once on your behalf.

You introduced yourself as well as Nicole and Grace who you wanted to kick under the table for how they were gawking at him, but not as much as you wanted to crawl under it to hide away as he pulled out a chair from the empty table beside yours and took a seat.

“Can I get you ladies another round?”

“Oh, yes please!” the girls chimed, seeming completely enthusiastic about him joining you.

You assessed his hand for any ring as he waved the waitress over, requesting for the same drinks to be brought to the table, feeling relieved there was no band wrapped around his ring finger, but something about him still felt off to you.

He’s not Will, your mind reminded you, and you took a long drink of your wine to try to swallow the sour feeling stirring in your gut.

It was comfortable enough talking to him, even catching yourself laughing at some of the things he said and genuinely having a good time, but every time you felt yourself liking something about him, there was one thing you found you didn’t.

He’s not Will.

You found yourself lost in his chocolate eyes as he spoke to you, imagining instead they were clear blue and held a brightness that reflected the love you had learned to see shine through them, only to be reminded that that wasn’t something that existed for you anymore, and you blinked back to the reality you faced.

“Would it be too forward of me if I asked for your number?” Cam asked, his eyebrows raising on his forehead in a hopeful, but confident expression.

“Hm, yeah, sure,” you replied, picking his phone up from the table that he slid over to you and typed your number into a text message along with your name, sending it to yourself.

“I’ll call you,” he said, standing from his seat where he continued to smile at you.

Your eyes followed him as he walked over to the bar to pay his tab, feeling something stir in you as he looked back over his shoulder at you one last time before he sauntered out of the bar, everything about him charming and gorgeous.

But he wasn’t Will.

“Are you going to go out with him?” Nicole asked excitedly, the looks on both your friend’s faces confusing you like you missed something they hadn’t.

“Umm,” you pondered, trying to wrap your head around the situation, the three glasses of wine making your head feel fuzzy. “I- I don’t know.”

You felt like crying, feeling a sense of guilt and anxiety bubble up in you, like you were betraying Will and being unfaithful despite the reminder that he wasn’t yours slapping you in the face and twisting your heart in your chest.

A few days had passed since your night out with the girls, and as expected, a text from Cam had come through asking to take you for dinner, the invitation sitting ignored and unresponded to in your messages.

Every time you opened your phone to reply, you would see Will’s name a few spots down from Cam’s, the contrast between them and what was past and what was present making you wish more than ever that you could go back in time and try to mend whatever it was that took Will away from you.

You didn't recall ever being so irritable, your temper short and your patience gone, a toss up whether you would scream or cry at the drop of a hat becoming the daily gamble.

The gym didn’t even seem to allay these frustrations, and as you tried to adjust the height of the rack bracket and it got stuck, you felt that blanket of red creeping up through you.

Cursing under your breath, you wiggled the pin again and again, tugging and jostling it to try to get it to move, the clanking of the metal against metal drawing attention over to you by prying, judging eyes.

“Need help?”

You sighed with relief, hearing the familiar voice that belonged to Benny, closing your eyes and counting your breaths as he stepped in and adjusted it for you.

“Thank you,” you muttered, avoiding meeting his eyes as shame washed over you.

“You alright?”

You forced the air out of your lungs again, still not meeting his piercing gaze.

“I'm just so angry and there's nothing I can do about it,” you admitted, your tone defeated.

“I understand that,” Benny drawled, leaning against the squat rack.

You felt him studying you, almost as if he was debating saying something.

“He asks about you every time I talk to him…”

It felt like the wind was knocked right out of you, and somehow you managed to speak.

“He does?”

Your bewilderment seemed to confuse Benny, his face screwed up as he looked at you like it was the most obvious and normal thing.

“Yeah?”

You covered your face with your hands, letting out a growl that did nothing to signify your frustration at the situation.

“I still don’t know what I did wrong. He stopped staying the night and became more and more distant each time I saw him…” You paused briefly, trying to put your thoughts in order. “Then he just stopped altogether and the next time we spoke he ended it, and now you’re saying he asks about me?”

“He didn’t tell you about his nightmare?” Benny asked, his shock blatant.

You shook your head, your brows knitted tightly together. “No?”

Benny sighed and rolled his eyes, shifting on his feet as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Jesus Christ…okay,” he groaned, exasperated by his brother’s ability to consistently make things worse.

You stood there unmoving as Benny explained what had happened, going over all the details Will had told him of his nightmare and his reactions to it, and you felt cold despite having worked up a sweat from what you had done in your routine already.

“I told him he wouldn't actually hurt you but he was so messed up from it. I think it was days before he managed to sleep after that,” Benny said, his tone sad. “I've only seen him that distraught after a nightmare a couple times before.”

“Why wouldn’t he have said anything to me?” you asked, your voice a whisper.

Benny shrugged, “I think he was scared. And then knowing he was leaving on top of it…it was just too much for him.”

You nodded, rubbing your hands on your arms for some sort of comfort, feeling like your heart was breaking all over again, but this time for Will rather than because of him.

“I’m not making excuses for him,” Benny went on, leaning with his arms up on the barbell that hung across the rack. “I don’t agree with what he did, I just know how messy things can get in that head of his, and as his brother I kinda always have to have his back, but it doesn't mean I’m on his side.”

You nodded, at a loss for words as your mind tried to process everything.

It was a helpless feeling, having some sort of understanding now but unable to do anything about it, wondering if you should send Will a message or have Benny pass one along, but all you wanted to tell him was you loved him and that was probably something he didn’t need right now.

“Thanks for telling me,” you said softly, all of your anger replaced with sadness and worry, your heart aching in your chest.

Time continued to pass but did nothing to heal, each day marking another one gone without a word between you and Will, leaving you more unclear than ever at what to do, feeling that if he wanted anything to do with you, he would’ve reached out by now.

Not wanting to put Benny in the middle of it, you never once asked him to interfere or treated him as a messenger, only asking how his brother was doing when he hadn’t told you on his own and thankful that he usually would provide an update anyway knowing you were wondering.

The last time you saw the younger Miller you had dropped off a week’s worth of food, having prepped a variety of high fat and carb meals, helping to get him ready for his upcoming fights in a new weight class.

Cooking for Benny was just the type of distraction you needed, feeling useful and productive and able to put this latent energy into something good for someone else, offering to make his meals for him each week so he didn’t have to worry about his nutrition while focusing on his training.

He had told you as he helped unload all the food from your car that Will was due to return home soon, a matter of days or weeks but there was no exact date yet, and every time you went to the gym or to the grocery store, you braced yourself for a run-in with the man you couldn’t stop thinking about.

You finished washing your face and brushing your teeth, checking your phone one last time before leaving it on your dresser for the night, never getting used to the disappointment you felt at not seeing a sweet message from Will like you used to whenever he wasn’t with you, and still holding hope that whenever it did buzz with a text, it would be Benny saying Will was back.

Your anxiousness was getting the better of you, feeling like it was worsening each day to the point you were struggling to sleep even more than what had now become your normal, never resting for more than a couple of hours at a time if you were lucky.

So many things passed through your mind in those hours spent awake, some of which consisted of that outstanding offer for a date with Cam, not declining it yet despite knowing it was something you didn’t want anything to do with. Nicole and Grace would still bring it up whenever you talked but didn’t put any pressure on you, both of them knowing deep down you were happiest with Will, and you weren’t about to jeopardize any remaining chance with him until you knew for sure that there was an absolute finality to your relationship.

Not feeling tired but knowing you needed to try to sleep, you crawled into bed, nestling yourself under the covers on the side that Will used to occupy, closing your eyes in hopes your mind would drum up the memory of his arms wrapped around you.

You knew you shouldn't do it, knowing it wasn't helping you move on and that some might deem it unhealthy, but every time you laid in bed you imagined him with you and it was becoming the only thing that would get you to sleep.

It had been your haven; the warmth of his body and your limbs tired and wonderfully achy from sex providing all the comfort you needed to drift off, both of you usually able to sleep soundly with the exception of Will having the occasional nightmare until his mind plagued him with the one that he couldn’t get past.

How could it be so wrong to go back to a time when a version of you didn't haunt his dreams, when you had brought each other nothing but love and understanding and a sense of safety and security? You kept replaying what Benny had told you about his nightmare over and over, the sense of guilt you had over it working to torture you just as much as the dream tormented Will.

You sighed, squeezing your eyelids tight, doing everything in your power to recall the feel of his lips on your neck, his breath ghosting over your skin as he wished you goodnight, his beard scratching against you in the most addicting way as he tucked his face as close to yours as he could.

Tears started to spring from your eyes the harder you shut them, thinking how you would give it all up in a heartbeat so Will could be happy and live a life with all of his worries put at ease even if it meant you couldn’t be a part of it.

Will picked at the frayed laces on his boot as he listened to the dial tone, one leg bent to rest on his knee while waiting for Benny to pick up, excited to share the news that he was flying home tomorrow and to get an update on Benny’s training, knowing he had been working hard to put on the last few pounds needed to put him in the Light Heavyweight class.

“Sup, bro?” he finally answered, out of breath.

“Hey, Ben. You running?”

“Just in the middle of some light spars. Got my first fight tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, buddy!” he hollered, his excitement palpable through the phone.

“That’s awesome, Benny,” Will praised, proud of his brother for reaching his goal.

“How’re you doing?” Benny panted.

“I’m okay,” he paused, planting his foot down so both were on the ground and scratching his head. “Coming in tomorrow.”

“Fuck, seriously?”

“Yeah…”

“Shit. The fight is in Fort Myers, I can’t pick you up, man.”

Will tried his best to disguise his disappointment, his leg bouncing as he tried to level his voice.

“It’s fine, I’ll take a cab or get Redfly to drop me off,” he suggested, knowing he wouldn’t even ask his friend since Tom would be so eager to be reunited with his girls.

Benny sighed, “You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s not a big deal. I’m just sorry I’ll miss that fight.”

“There will be more, don’t worry,” he assured. “Safe flight home, eh?”

“Thanks Benny. Good luck tomorrow. Knock ‘em dead.”

Benny chuckled, “Yeah, I will. See you soon, bro.”

Will ended the call and sat for a minute, the bit of excitement he felt about coming home diminished, feeling a sense of dejection that he officially had no one there for him.

He considered all of his options, the thought of reaching out to you even crossing his mind, but knew that he couldn’t and he would just have to settle for whatever warm welcome the cab driver wouldn’t provide him.

He blew air out of his mouth slowly, starting to feel like he couldn't capture a proper breath, closing his eyes as the sense of self-inflicted and well-deserved dread he was now accustomed to consumed him.

One, two, three…he counted, the numbers switching from the sound of his own voice to yours, repeating them with each breath in and out until he secured a consistent pattern.

Tomorrow.

You knew what it meant without any other context, the single word appearing on your screen from Benny making your heart jump into your throat, and you grabbed the edge of the countertop behind you with shaky hands as you leaned against it.

He had promised to tell you when he knew for sure and here it was, the day you had hoped for for so long, but one you were also terrified for.

Will was coming home.

As a slew of emotions ran through you, it dawned on you that his arrival happened to be on the same day as Benny’s fight, and you wondered if that meant anyone would be there to welcome him home.

You picked up your phone to reply to Benny, thinking of asking him who was planning to pick Will up from base, but as soon as you started typing the message, you hit the arrow to delete it, putting your phone back down on the counter.

It wasn’t your business, you told yourself, fighting every urge to make it yours, the thought of Wil returning home from the hells he faced with no one there for him breaking your heart.

You figured you were the last person he would want to see anyway, and knowing you had the potential to send him even more over the edge made you feel sick, thinking of how much had changed from when you were the one who used to bring him peace.

The flight was long, and it felt like every muscle in Will’s body ached as he walked off the plane and waited to board the bus that would bring them to the base station, feeling so close but still so far from being home.

There was continuous chatter around him, the excitement of all the soldiers about reuniting with their loved ones making Will feel happy and sad at the same time, and he did his best to seem enthused when asked if he was looking forward to going home.

He checked his phone more times than he needed to, having sent Benny a text that he had landed to which he responded with a thumbs up emoji, part of him hoping that there would be something from you, only to remember he didn’t deserve any grace for his actions.

He was getting everything he deserved, he thought as he pressed his head back against the headrest after sitting down, sighing out slowly while closing his eyes, finding it amusing that being alone was something he was both looking forward to and completely dreading.

It wasn’t long before the bus arrived at base, and Will remained in his seat until everyone else had gotten off, not wanting his fellow troops who were so eager to hold their loved ones to be held up by him who was only going to wait for a fucking cab.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way through people hugging, a weak smile forming on his lips in seeing one of his friends holding his newborn baby, and not far off did he watch Tom embrace both of his daughter’s in his arms, picking them up and swinging them around until they were screaming with delight.

After making his way to the doors, he pulled out his phone and looked up the number for a taxi, rubbing his other hand over his tired eyes roughly, praying it wouldn’t take long for one to show up.

The area he stood in was quiet with everyone else still lingering behind, but he glanced up when he noticed a couple walking past hand-in-hand, pausing to steal a kiss.

Will was about to hit the number to dial for Taxi Tampa when he looked up again, his eyes landing on a familiar face and one he couldn’t forget even if he tried.

You had just walked in and were stopped in your tracks as you noticed him at the same time, your face a mix of so many emotions that Will could hardly pick one out.

You gave a small shrug and shook your head, silently explaining that you didn’t really know what you were doing there, and Will all but choked as he tried to take a breath, his shock in seeing you completely overwhelming.

He dropped his bag and let his phone fall on top of it, stepping toward you in purposeful strides, his eyes welling up just the same as yours were.

“I wasn’t sure if I should even come but…I had to show up for you,” you shook out, Will’s hands reaching to cup your face, his thumbs smoothing your cheeks as tears started to fall down them.

He nodded in response, unable to say anything, his own tears breaking their threshold as you grabbed onto his forearms, rubbing them through his shirt as he continued to hold onto you.

He pulled you into a hug, relieved when you embraced him just as hard, feeling himself relax into you, his face nuzzling your head.

“I’m sorry,” he cried, alternating his remorse with ‘thank you’ between pressing kisses onto your forehead and hair, your sobs making your body lurch against his.

Your hands pawed at his back, clawing at his fatigues like you were trying to hold onto him for good, and Will prayed with everything he had that you never would let go.

He wasn’t sure how long you stayed like that for, but he eventually felt himself calm down, relishing in holding you and being in your presence again, knowing he would do everything in his power to make every bit of hurt up to you.

Will inhaled deeply, letting it go slowly out of his mouth, feeling like he could finally breathe properly again after all this time.

It was surreal to be in his arms, his warm embrace something you missed more than you imagined you could have, the feel of his body on yours and his scent surrounding you so familiar.

His heartbeat thrummed in your ear as you continued to rest your face on his chest, hearing his breathing having evened out and realizing yours had done the same.

You reluctantly pulled away to look at him, still keeping your arms locked around his middle. “Should we get you home?”

Will’s mouth turned up on one side, his crooked smirk making you melt.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his hand falling to land on your lower back as you both turned to where his bag was left on the floor.

You expected a moment like this to feel awkward, but it was anything but, like you were learning each other all over again, standing in Will’s room with your arms around each other’s waist, your faces so close and your lips inches from touching.

Finally, Will leaned into you, softly pressing his lips on yours, making you hold your breath as you let your eyes close and kissed him back, a broken moan transferring into his mouth as you forced yourself to try to take in air again.

His hand ran across your back, pulling you close to him as he took a step into you, your shirt slipping up so his palm splayed out on your skin, that sensation alone making you shiver in addition to how good it felt to have his lips on yours again.

Kisses grew more intense as each second ticked by, only pausing when he lifted your shirt over your head, and despite feeling so desperate, you both continued to keep every touch slow and careful.

His fingers pinched the clasp of your bra together to release it, moving the straps down your shoulders until it fell from your body, returning his hands to your arms where he trailed his fingertips up them to your neck and then down to your bare chest.

You found the buttons on his shirt, blindly unfastening each one until you were able to peel it open, feeling his smooth chest and the defined muscles of his torso, his warmth radiating out onto you.

Will reached up to take hold of your face, angling your head to press his tongue deeper in your mouth, stealing every bit of air from you in the process.

Breathe, your mind begged, but kissing him was better than breathing.

The rough material of his fatigues brushed against your nipples, making your breath hitch in your throat even more, your body moving to rub against him again to replicate the feeling.

You were rid of your pants and underwear next, leaving you naked while Will remained in his uniform, but the intoxicating feel of your skin on his bare chest let him know that he needed to have as much skin-on-skin contact as possible, and he tore the garment off his upper body quickly before moving to his pants.

Once you were bared to each other, you returned to your slow caresses, touching and exploring with light fingers and hands, your pleasure brought on purely by love.

You stopped kissing him for a moment, teasing your lips on his until you managed to whisper, your voice thick with lust.

“I need you, Will. I need you inside me.”

His nose nudged your cheek as he agreed with the nod of his head, his hands clasping your face again like he feared if he went too long without kissing you, you would vanish.

He took your hand and led you to the bed, sitting down on it and shifted back slightly where you followed, straddling his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck, looking into his vibrantly blue eyes as he gazed at you lovingly.

His hands slid all along your back, bringing you closer to his body before they landed on your legs, guiding you to put them straight so they were behind him and you were seated flush against his lap.

You breathed out slowly as your forehead rested against his, feeling his cock settle at your folds, and when you moved your hips ever so slightly, you gasped at the sensation.

Will kissed along your jawline, his hands massaging your hips, ready to assist as you lifted yourself enough to reach between your bodies and take hold of his cock, guiding him to your entrance where you slowly sank onto his length.

Short, shuddered breaths were exchanged between you before you found each other’s lips again, and you gradually began to move together, finding a tempo that sang to you and helped display the love that had been missing.

Will held onto every part of you that he could, grasping at you as you rocked and rode him, his hips jutting up into yours in slow, meticulous thrusts to give you everything you needed, feeling your desperation grow while his did too.

Your clit rubbed against the coarse hairs above his cock, grinding until you were at the edge, the way your wet walls clenched around and encased him driving him to the brink what felt like faster than ever.

Even though you were both quick to arrive at your climaxes, nothing about it was rushed, savouring each movement to get there and not taking a single second for granted, every emotion felt transferred through your bodies.

Will kissed you hard, groaning into your mouth as he came undone, coating your walls and filling you completely with his hot cum that started to leak out of you as you continued to move on his shaft, your orgasm lagging just seconds behind.

Your fingers clawed at the back of his neck, scratching and digging into his flesh as your body took every bit of pleasure from him, the seal of your mouths breaking as you both panted for air, his head falling into the hollow of your neck while yours rested on the side of his, his hair soft on your cheek.

His mouth smeared wet across your collarbone as he moved his face, pressing sloppy, lazy kisses onto your skin as he continued to hold you close, feeling his chest and back expand and contract with each heavy breath while you kept your arms secured around him.

Will brought you with him as he laid down on his sheets, your bodies still connected, his fingertips tracing your hairline before he leaned toward you and kissed your lips again.

After a few more minutes of kissing, you tucked your face into his neck, your legs entwining with his, Will rolling over onto his back where he held your hand and brought it to rest on his chest.

A silent agreement seemed to settle between you to leave the talking until tomorrow, right now needing to simply be with each other, and like nothing had ever gone wrong, Will closed his eyes and fell asleep, his mind and body finding a peace he didn’t think he would ever have again.

---

Part 8

Taglist:

@sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls

@littlenosoul @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90

@paintlavillered @casa-boiardi @stealfromthedevil @kmc1989 @justreblogginfics

@spaghettificationandpretzels @whatever-lmaoo @steviebbboi @charethcutestory02

@christinhunnam @hp-hogwartsexpress

[liillyliilly]

Max It Out

semi eita x reader words; 7101 + bonus content bc i love this AU synopsis; Band AU. She's the manager. As it turns out, he wants her as more than just the band manager.

“You gotta amp the bass up,” Semi called out.

You just rolled your eyes at him again. There was only so much more you could ‘amp’ his bass up. You couldn’t fix something that just wasn’t broken.

“I think you gotta fix your play style instead. I can make the bass louder, but then the main guitar line would have to be shrunk. Unless you want fizzing during your set.” You shrugged. He really couldn’t manage this gig without you.

It was hard to believe that earlier that day, you and he sat opposite in the paralegal office. Some civil service job, getting assigned to share an office with Semi Eita.

Arrogant, egotistical, damningly attractive. You wanted to wear his clothes and be his prized possession.

“Pass the stapler.” Your stapler, he had been working here for five months and still hadn’t bought his stapler yet. To be fair, it was a genuinely good stapler that you had shipped in from your aunt who lived in Germany.

You opened the drawer under your desk, grabbed the stapler, and then handed it to Semi under your computer.

He peeked under the computers, smiling at you. “Thanks, sweetie.”

“We aren’t in a work marriage anymore. I divorced you.”

“I never signed the papers darling.”

How could he always do that? Make you smile? It was unfair.

Sure, you always ate lunch together. Sure, he always packed an extra set of tissues when you went to the movies because he knew you cried easily. Sure, he gave you his leather jacket during winter on the walks from the hauling truck to the clubs.

But you had divorced this man weeks ago. Work marriage of course. He was just too clingy for you.

There of course had to be another layer to this dynamic between the two of you. The whole band manager thing.

You were nineteen and completely in love with Konoha Akinori. Which was why Semi invited you to help them with gigging the band out.

You had known of Semi, but only really got to know him in college. His center of gravity was alluring, to say the least. You were friends with Konoha first, attending high school together. Konoha was the one who invited you to your first real college party. Except it wasn’t even really a party.

It was five guys smoking, listening to music, and messing with instruments.

When you enter the apartment, Beach Weather’s “Sex, Drugs, Etc.” was lulling in the background.

Semi was lying back on a beanbag, strumming his bass guitar gently. Two boys in the opposite corner were blowing puffs of smoke into each other’s mouths, between what looked like extremely wet kisses.

“Issei, Hiro, do you have to do that here?” Futakuchi Kenji, a fellow class member of your advertising supplemental class, was faking being sick. He had drumsticks and was hitting an empty container of fried chicken.

“You can join in whenever you want Jiji.” The pink-haired one smiled, using his head to motion Futakuchi to join them on the sofa.

“Issei’s breath reeks of mango.”

The one with short cropped black hair, wearing a One Piece shirt spoke up, “Mango-licious. That’s the exact flavor, there’s some strawberry in the pod as well.”

The one referred to as Hiro shoved the one called Issei off the sofa. “Song’s over.” Issei just shrugged, taking another hit from his blue e-cigarette.

Konoha explained that Matsukawa Issei and Hanamaki Takahiro had been best friends for essentially their whole lives and that there were a select few songs that they just always made out to. He said he just got used to it, and that you should too.

You decide to make conversation, “So how do you all know each other?”

Semi chimed in, “Konoha and I used to work together at a tutoring place. Before he ditched it to deal drugs.”

Konoha worked in a pharmacy.

“You worked at a tutoring place,” Shock was evident in your tone of voice.

“It’s not hard to help seven-year-olds with their math homework.” Semi continued, “I know Issei and Hiro from competing in the same volleyball circuit in high school. I don’t know when Kenji got here though.”

“Ass.” Futakuchi rolled his eyes, “I joined this shoddy group of friends when we were all struggling to pass the intro math course. And when I found out we were all decent at music.”

Your raised eyebrow at the music comment made Semi smirk.

“If we play for you, you gotta join our cult.” He minced no words.

Konoha assured you that it wasn’t actually a cult, but it did feel like one.

When Matsukawa had finished hooking up all the proper chords to an outlet machine, Konoha had shoved some bean bags out of the way, and Hanamaki downed several glasses of water, you realized that they were good at music.

The song they played was “Lavender Sunflower” by Tory Lanez. When you asked why they would play a song from someone who was in jail, Semi just said you should separate the art from the artist. Futakuchi said it was because Hanamaki liked to say the word ‘sexify’.

They did a few more covers, ranging from Steve Lacy to Cautious Clay.

You gave them a round of applause when Matsukawa slid his fingers across his keyboard to end their mini-concert.

“I meant it. You’re in our cult now.” Semi had come up from behind you, speaking into your ear and resting his hands on your shoulders. The shiver down your spine didn’t go unnoticed by you or Semi.

Electric Guest; the five young adult boys turned into a decently popular alternative indie band. Semi Eita, on the bass. Konoha Akinori, on the guitar. Matsukawa Issei on keyboard. Hanamaki Takahiro, on primary vocals and autotuning. Futakuchi Kenji on drums. Plus you, the mastermind behind it all. Kind of.

All you did was everything else besides play music.

The first time they played at the Battle of the Bands, you sweat so much that your white shirt was permanently stained in the pits. At least they won the prize money, just enough for a team dinner, entrance fees to the next competition and a new shirt for you.

It was a learning curve for you, learning the lighting, the sound management, and the coordination of schedules as you all got busier. Making a Google calendar helped as the years went on.

The whole band thing became so lucrative that all of you could’ve quit your day jobs and been perfectly comfortable, but Futakuchi claimed that the band was never supposed to be their whole lives. Just a part of them. So, in addition to your band manager role, you also ran the charity on the side.

A cross between cancer research, volleyball advocacy, and music education. The holy trinity of causes Matsukawa claimed.

Electric Guest was never supposed to be the reason for you to stay friends with people from high school, and college. But that was how it ended up. Just a group of boys with their girl on weekend nights playing live music.

Initially a cover band, but it turned into original works.

Semi was always a little too clever to just play others' words. “This Head I Hold”, Semi’s first song that he had written had charted on the IONIC Alternative chart in the Top 100 for seven weeks straight, never falling below the top seventy.

Was he humble about this feat? No.

But did he sheepishly make a toast to how your marketing carried the song to where it was? Yes. So it leveled out in your mind for him to be prideful of his music, of their music.

“Amp it up.” Semi stomped his feet again.

Konoha shoved Semi’s arm. “She just said that she couldn’t do that. Do you just have selective hearing for praise? Maybe she should throw in her opinion on your ass in those jeans between the clarification of why increasing the amp would be bad?”

“Screw you, Aki.”

“Meet me in the bathroom in five?” You could practically see the way Konoha’s eyebrows raised in a jokingly seductive way.

“Semi, I could try to reduce the vocals slightly. I just don’t know why you want your bass to be so highlighted tonight?”

Semi just waved his hand in the air, brushing away your comments.

Rolling your eyes, you sipped on your water, reviewing the setlist for tonight.

“Hey, I thought we cut “Get Out” for tonight? And we never play it as the last song?” You did a double take at the setlist, Semi had scribbled the song in right after their typical closer of “Basic- Acoustic Version”

Hanamaki slid into your booth, downing his demon juice, a mixture of Redbull, Monster, and a shot of tequila. He grimaced, then shook his face, smiling at you.

“Semi-Semi has a surprise for tonight, it’s supposed to knock your socks off.”

“I do like a good “Get Out” moment.” You mused.

“A little more than just a good moment supposedly.”

Hanamaki was always one of the guys from your friend group who could manage to make anything sound more important than it was. He was the lead singer after all. You’d be lying if you hadn’t thought about the way some very specific words would sound coming from him to you.

That was another element to this Electric Guest thing, the touch aspect. Once they had integrated you into the friend circle, they became your humans. Your people. You all began to function as a single unit. Where one goes, the rest follow.

The Twitter comments on official posts did love to get a little explicit when they posed theories about how all five of you were in a polyamorous relationship.

That time you and Matsukawa got seen with your hands in his hair and his hands on your ass created a good portion of those theories, especially since Matsukawa still openly liked to lick Hanamaki’s neck between songs.

The touching thing just became second nature, to be close to each other was to be genuine.

Futakuchi threw a plastic water bottle at Hanamaki, “You drunkard, come set up your autotune before you’re too far gone. Please chew some gum before you start singing too, your breath reeks on that stuff.” Futakuchi was referencing the aforementioned demon juice.

Semi had started working at the same place you were working after he had aced his civil servant exam with flying colors.

He had gotten bored of lazing at his shared apartment with Futakuchi for entire days on end. He claimed to need social and mental stimulation. You thought it was because he just wanted to have another reason to get to know you better, which was also true.

Semi was strange when it came to you, freezing up in touch before easing into it. Sometimes you and him could just sit in your apartment for hours on end talking about the band, movies, the best hangover food.

He just understood you on an unparalleled level.

You were all friends, of course, Issei, Hiro, Jiji, Akinori, Eita, and you. But you clicked on what felt like a multidimensional plane with Semi Eita.

He knew what you would say before you said it. He always managed to mitigate your problems with simple, clear solutions.

He also always looked a little too deep into your eyes. You felt like he was inspecting your innermost self when he locked his eyes on you.

No judgment, just assessment. No confusion, just curiosity.

“We can always carpool you know,” He swung his keys on his finger as he walked you to the bus stop, “Save you an hour in commuting.”

“As appealing as that is, I wouldn’t be able to do my share of driving, you know, due to the whole, I don’t have a car thing.” Grateful, you rubbed his shoulder in thanks.

“When I say carpool I mean, I’ll drive and you be my live-in car DJ.”

“Am I being used for my amazing playlists?”

“I love using you.”

So you began to carpool. He would pick you up at your apartment 30 minutes before work started, and then you would sit in the parking lot together for 10 minutes listening to your new underground finds before clocking in.

Semi was a great co-worker, truly. He just always used your stuff and spent way too much time going through your computer search history when you took a break.

“I swear I was going to find some kind of band groupie orgy porn on here this time.” He scoffed when you began shaking your office chair with him still sitting in it.

“At work? You’re kidding me”

“Maybe it was just for future reference,” He licked his lips, looking up at you. “You know, for tonight.”

“You’re revolting.”

“You’re an angel.” He reached a hand up and tugged on the front of your shirt, pulling you down to him.

“You make me sick.” You tried to escape his grasp without damaging your new button-up.

“Lovesick.”

There were only a few more hours to go before their show tonight. You had taken several photos of your boys preparing for the show, posting them on all the social media sites.

Using captions such as, ‘ETA: When Semi Eita gets around to it.’

‘Matsukawa’s forgotten mango vape pod.’ (You thought that one was funny because the vape pod was shown to be almost negatively drained more than it could go, he had sucked all the Mango-licious nicotine out of that poor vape pod)

‘Real or fake? I guess we’ll never know’ Attached to a shot of Hanamaki looking at himself in the mirror, moving small hairs around. The fan-favorite think piece was about his hair, genetically strawberry blond or just dyed.

‘Jiji on that beat’ Futakuchi’s head resting in his hands, his knees bouncing up and down in a short video clip. He always got anxious before shows, despite being one of the relatively more popular members of Electric Guest.

‘Akinori’s Asshole Agenda, task one: hide all the free promotional stickers’ Your box of stickers was shown to be empty, but you had another one in the hauling truck that you would go and grab in a few minutes. The ushers at the clubs helped hand the stickers out when getting people into the building.

Futakuchi called you over to the stage. You put your phone back into your pocket and meandered over to where he was inspecting his drum kit.

“The skin on my drum is getting too thin.” Futakuchi traced a white line that stuck onto the kick drum.

“What do you want me to do?”

He pulled out a fresh skin from his satchel. “Help me reskin this bad boy please.”

“It’s not real animal skin yeah? Just synthetic?”

“Yeah, it should go on fairly easily, I need to polish my cymbals.”

You tilted your head in slight anger. He was going to make you reskin his drum?

Semi had finished messing with his bass settings, resting his instrument on the large case he had brought out to the stage.

“Lemme do it.”

“I can re-skin it, it’s fine, Eita.”

He took the material from your hands, “Let me skin the stupid drum.”

You nodded, swallowing thickly. That tone of voice subtly said, “Don’t test me” and overtly said, “I want to do this for you.”

You let him reskin Futakuchi’s stupid drum.

Joining Electric Guest was one of the best decisions in your life, and you owed it all to Konoha Akinori for bringing you to that ‘college party’. Semi liked to argue that he was the one to thank for getting you involved, but Konoha always pulled up the text receipts of him asking you to officially be a part of the band.

All your firsts had been with Konoha. First kiss, first boyfriend, first hickey.

A high school crush that turned into a decently long relationship at the beginning of university. Konoha was a great boyfriend, dates were amazing, and he was the one who introduced you to all of his friends, who became your friends as well. He was the one who took care of you when you were sick.

He was the one who cried with you when your cousin died.

You truly loved him. But the piece in your heart for him and the piece in his heart for you just didn’t fit together once you hit 20 years old. It was an amicable break-up, but it still hurt.

Best friends with a rich past was how you defined your relationship with Konoha.

Semi was getting increasingly anxious about the fallout when Konoha and you broke up. That’s how it made the most sense to you anyway.

Why else would he have punched Konoha? The fate of the band was at risk.

Semi would’ve rather died than admit why he had to physically express his anger. Screw the band in that moment, what about you? Were you doing alright?

They hadn’t told you about the punch until nearly a year later when you were all either high or sleep-deprived in your apartment, celebrating another competition win.

What they hadn’t told you was louder than what they did tell you about that night, three days after your break-up with Konoha.

Matsukawa had to hold Konoha back, and Hanamaki along with Futakuchi pulled Semi back from throwing another punch. Konoha’s lip was cut and bleeding, so he spat the blood on the floor of the recording studio.

You just sat in the beanbag in the mixing office, none the wiser, headphones on, clicking away at audio files to make promotions.

The night of the breakup, you called Semi and had him at your apartment. It was raining that night. When he arrived at your place, he was soaked through. You asked about it since a short walk from the road to your place wouldn’t have yielded such a damp appearance.

As it turned out, his car had run out of gas, so he took Futakuchi’s moped. When you wrapped him in a towel and gave him tea, he complained that he should be the one soothing you.

That comment triggered you to start bawling. What if it was all a mistake to break up with Konoha? Maybe he was your best option. Semi said that Konoha wasn’t worth shit compared to other guys out there for you.

You told him that that was cruel to say. Semi tried to backtrack, explaining that maybe better options were still around for you. When you just kept talking about how much you loved Konoha, Semi stopped trying to fight the idea of Konoha and focused solely on comforting you and assuring you of your decision.

Two days later, after Semi witnessed your shattered state, the punch occurred during band practice. He saw Konoha’s phone screen saver was still Konoha and you kissing.

“You asshole, she was crying!”

“I already told you Eita, it was an agreed upon break up!”

“The bruise on her neck then? Explain that you dick!” Semi snarled. Hanamaki was shaking in his Doc Martens, but Futakuchi just kicked Hanamaki and told him to keep holding Semi back.

“The bruise? You mean the HICKEY?” Konoha wasn’t mad anymore, just annoyed, “You know sometimes when people break up they have break-up sex. It’s in the name, you oblivious coward.”

Matsukawa finally let Konoha go. Konoha just rubbed his arms where Matsukawa had grabbed him. Konoha had come to several realizations when he had talked to you about breaking up.

Kissing hadn’t felt right for some time, and you both hardly ever tried to be romantic in any sense. Instead choosing to send memes to each other and joking around. It was being best friends under the label of a relationship.

You agreed to split, letting both of you let go of your long-winded high school crushes.

“Coward? You’re calling me a coward? Breaking up with the best girl in your entire life wasn’t a cowardly thing to do then?” Semi was panting, arms shaking, but he was still kicking his feet.

Konoha knew Semi would throw a fit. So he decided to say what everyone else in the friend group wanted to say.

“You love her more than I do,” Konoha sat down, legs sprawled on the floor. He told Hanamaki and Futakuchi to let Semi go. “Did you know that? You love her more than I do. Which is utterly baffling to me because I love her with my entire heart.”

Semi stood for a moment, a slight sway from all the tension in his high-strung body. Semi crouched down before laying on the floor. Looking at the ceiling, he pressed his lips into a tight line.

Hanamaki, Futakuchi, and Matsukawa had left the band space, choosing to let the two friends talk out whatever they needed to.

They too knew that this conversation needed to occur, primarily for Semi.

Semi sniffles then laughs. A genuine laugh. “I guess I am a coward.”

“Damn straight.” Konoha continued, “I always thought you’d get to her before me. Not sexually, or anything like that. But in terms of love. You know? You just always had her first thing in mind. Whereas I, well, I never cheated and I never considered it either, but I always wondered if I was the right person for her.”

“You think that person is me?” Semi scoffed. “I can hardly call myself an adult compared to you.”

“I know right.” Semi kicked Konoha with his outstretched leg.

“You gotta tell her, or else someone will take her from you. Not everyone can see you’re the best person for her. Hell, even I had a mental breakdown when I realized it.”

“So you’re saying-”

“I don’t want your bullshit, Eita, I want you to tell her.”

“I can’t.”

Konoha told him that he’d be stuck then. So, stuck Semi became.

It was almost an hour before opening the doors to the long line outside Club Karazaki.

You still needed to help the boys with their hair. So you grabbed your comb from your bag and made your way backstage.

“Hairstylist in the house, I take 50s and 100s only.” You patted your jeans’ back pocket, “I need a new phone so this is how y’all will contribute.”

After finishing Matsukawa’s quick retouch on his taper, you took the fiver he handed you.

“You know, I think tonight is going to be one of our best performances.” Matsukawa lifted his mango vape to you, you declined it, and he took another hit. “Semi outdid himself for tonight.”

“Ya’ll overhype that man.”

“Nah, we hype him just enough.” Matsukawa held your hand, “You ever get another date with that dude from a week ago?”

You shook your head, explaining how it just didn’t feel right. Lately, your romantic exploits had all crashed and burned quicker than Semi could begin a riff.

Several of the adventures in romance had ended with an upset Semi, which in turn made you upset. The most recent ‘discussion’ between the two of you had occurred just a week before tonight, about the same guy Matsukawa had brought up.

The band left Semi and you in your apartment, and you offered to let him crash on your futon. Futakuchi refused to let a drunk Semi back into their apartment. Claiming that he would puke all over the new rug he bought.

“I just don’t get you.” He was tugging on his sweatpants’ drawstring and lying on your couch. His shirt had ridden up to his mid-stomach, showing off a trail of dark blond hair that snuck under his sweatpants.

“What don’t you get.” You sat on the end of your couch, freshly showered. He put his feet in your lap. You obliged, scrolling through channels on your TV.

He smelled like the expensive wine your label had dropped off to celebrate a bronze ranking on the new album. You asked how much he had drunk, only now realizing his whole face was flushed. He mumbled, so you lifted the bottle, only to find it completely empty.

“You’ll get alcohol poisoning from doing this.” It was only a mini-sized bottle, but it was expensive and aged perfectly.

“Better than how I’m living now.” He took off his shirt, too warm to continue with the material on him.

He didn’t quite have abs, but he was strong. Broad, tan, and wide. The difference between Konoha’s so-called, “slutty waist” and Semi’s toned torso was striking.

You clarified that he actually wouldn’t even be living if he got serious alcohol poisoning.

“That dude,” You said your one-off date’s name, “Yeah him, he looked like my doppelganger don’t you think?”

He did look a lot like Semi.

At the same time you both added the addendum that his fashion was way worse than Semi’s. Semi just laughed, not even a laugh, he giggled. A 22-year-old child, giggling about how you were insulting your date. Shirtless, drunk, and now rubbing your back.

He had shifted, laying his back on the back of the couch, lightly kicking you so you would sit on the floor in front of him.

His hands were warm, due to the alcohol flowing through his veins. When he dug his thumb between your spine and shoulder blade you moaned. He asked if you felt good, and you nodded.

You didn’t expect him to slide your shirt up, your bare back exposed to the cold air of your apartment. In no time, his hands were soothing down the goosebumps.

“Make your little noise again.”

“Hm?” You turned your head to Semi.

“I want you to moan again.”

Your eyes widened. There was no teasing this time, he was dead serious.

Something was definitely wrong with your best friend, especially when he started to kiss your shoulders, moving to your jawline, attempting to move his lips wherever he could reach. He had slid down the couch, using his hands to pull your back against his chest. Skin on skin.

Your shirt was still bunched up at the back of your neck, but with the way that Semi was slowly sliding hands over your stomach, he had a plan to remove the purple sleep shirt. His maneuvers were snake-like. His intermittent hisses were reactions to your scent, your warmth, and the way your skin tasted on his tongue.

When he cupped your chest with one hand and had the other hand in your hair, you had to stop him. Quickly you stood up, and he cussed at the loss of touch.

“Eita, I think you need to sleep.” You tugged him up from the floor, and he just kept cursing. Incoherently, no rhyme or reason for what he was so mad about. You could hardly understand many of the words, a few distinct ones hit your eardrums: Konoha, coward, sex, music, the band. The most frequent word was your name.

You let him sit on the floor, going to grab a glass of water for him. When you reached into your fridge for a Gatorade as well, Semi was standing at the entrance to the kitchen. Brown eyes just watching you.

“One kiss.” He clearly stated.

You laughed, but he only got irritated.

“I’m serious. Just one.” He reaffirmed.

“You’re drunk. I’ll say it twice, Eita. You’re drunk.”

“I’m a better kisser when I’m drunk.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

You handed him the water. He downed it. You handed him the Gatorade. He sipped it. He probably had a reason for asking.

“Is it for a song?” You touched the bottom of the Gatorade bottle, lifting it closer to his mouth so he would take another drink. Semi angrily rolled his eyes, why would that be his only reason for asking to kiss you?

“If I say yes will you kiss me.”

You shook your head no. He was clearly inebriated. You didn’t know how he would feel about this in the morning, and you knew the alcohol was altering him.

It had been two years since you broke up with Konoha. You had promised that you wouldn’t date another member of your friend group. It just wouldn’t work. Plus with the new label intervention as well, they tried to subtly say that dating within the band could cause some scandals.

But they were an alternative indie band, so the label let a lot of the little things go.

But openly dating? Ruining the image of attainability? They just told everyone to keep relationships to a minimum, and if they did want to date, then you should be off limits.

Semi had never seemed more pissed at a formal organization, he ranted to you about how as soon as the three-year contract was up that Electric Guest should go back to being entirely independent.

You agreed, for the most part, just letting him consider how much easier it was for him to get creative licensing protection on his songs. He just said that working at the paralegal office would be enough skill to get legal protection on the music.

Semi cleaned up the Gatorade, tossing it into the trash can. You found yourself in a corner, the sink to your right, and the fridge to your left, Semi in all other directions.

Never had you seen his eyes so blown out. Not even after one of the longer smoke sessions, Matsukawa liked to cook up.

“If you can tell me you don’t love me then I’ll let it go.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Eita, what? Of course, I love you. What are you talking about?”

“If you can tell me you haven’t thought about me when you were touching yourself. If you can tell me that you haven’t thought about my lips on you. If you can tell me that you never considered me as an option. If you can say that then I’ll drop it. Otherwise, please let me kiss you.” You paused your breathing. He looked at you. “And don’t use my blood alcohol content as an excuse.”

“I need a minute.” You gently pushed your hand on his bicep.

“I have time.”

You glanced at the microwave clock.

1:28 AM.

He started kissing you at 1:29 AM.

You didn’t stop him.

It was slow at first, gentle even. He started at your neck. Biding time before he got to where he wanted to go. He nipped along your jaw. Your hands were resting on his chest, your breath baited.

When he picked you up and sat you on the counter, you knew you were a goner.

He guided your hands to his hair, his shoulders, and his hips, telling you to just touch him and not stop. He gave himself 15 minutes. You didn’t know this, but he was only using 15 minutes. From 1:29 AM to 1:44 AM.

When he starts to rub his hips against yours, you wish you could’ve stayed like this for hours. You could feel the outline of his body through the sweatpants, and each time you made another sound, his hips just stilted before rubbing again with more pressure.

His first lip-to-lip kiss with you was dry. He just pressed your lips together. He paused, just letting the touch process in his mind. When you pressed back, he smiled into the kiss.

He could immortalize the kiss later, he still had 7 minutes left.

He wanted to reach his hand down into the front of your pants but knew you would draw the line there. His alcohol solution became the one barrier he wished he didn’t have at the moment. Especially when he could feel the way your thighs were shaking slightly, anticipation was a bitch.

He gently, lightly, wrapped one hand around your neck. The other hand was under your shirt doing things you couldn’t quite make sense of because his tongue was in your mouth. His thumb was distinctly writing the letters of his name over your nipples.

When the clock turned to 1:40 AM, he turned ravenous. He pressed his lips everywhere on your face, forehead, nose, chin. Dry turned to wet, and he knew you were covered in his saliva. You groaned slightly when he gave in and cupped the front of your shorts. Before he removed his hand in favor of just grinding against you again.

He was panting when the clock finally ticked to 1:44 AM. Semi tucked his head into the nook between your shoulder and neck. His arms under your shirt hugged you tighter, making you feel like a boa constrictor was attempting to cut off your oxygen supply.

“I’m tired.” You ran a hand through his hair. Telling him to let you go so you could get his futon. He shook his head, pieces of hair tickling you. He wasn’t tired physically, he was tired mentally. To hold back from someone you were magnetized to, spent all his energy. Until his willpower to fight the pull force was just entirely gone.

“Second door on the left?” He spoke right into your skin. If he had gotten this far, one last ditch attempt to feel all of you might just be his lucky opportunity. The second door on the left was your bedroom.

You nodded.

In the morning, you woke up to Semi tracing shapes on your thigh that was laid across his stomach.

He spoke first.

“We can talk about it after the show at Karazaki.” He had begun running his hand on your head, starting at the top of your head before sliding down to your nape. He repeated the soothing caress so many times you lost count.

“Ok.”

The doors finally shut, and all the people at Club Karazaki were finally ready to be blessed with the music from none other than Electric Guest.

The two-hour show went off without a hitch.

Konoha’s guitar solo got the most bras thrown at him. Futakuchi’s reverb of Arctic Monkeys’ “Knee Socks” had the most phones recording him, his drum set and single verse got more viral video and editing clips than you would know how to manage. Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s duet singing “Oh Devil” from the new album almost made you scream for them too.

It was finally time to close off the show, with Semi’s addition of “Get Out”. You couldn’t help but get thrilled at the idea of hearing your favorite song one more time before he planned to officially cut it from the setlist.

Instead of Hanamaki, Semi cleared his throat, thanking the audience for their time, and that the last song was going to be a crowd favorite.

Hanamaki stepped back. Now, the main singer of a band did not just simply step back and out of the primary light. You fidgeted with the system, getting equal lighting on everyone. The red slow strobe was always a good default, especially since you had no idea what was going on.

“I’ll max it out one time for you.” Semi sang.

This wasn’t the revised ending song. It wasn’t even “Get Out”, the song you had believed to be Semi’s bonus on the setlist. You clicked into your headphones, trying to contact Konoha. Radio silence on your end. Standing up in the back of the club, you waved your arms rapidly. Trying to get Semi’s attention.

What the hell was he doing?

“You should never worry, you’ve been here a long time.” His bass guitar was strumming to the beat of your pulse, just fast enough to keep you alive, but steadily increasing in speed. Matsukawa’s keyboard was playing perfectly in tune. So at least you knew they had practiced this song before.

Maybe more than one practice though, because the flow of the music was just too smooth. You sit back down, and instead of leaving the blaring red strobe lights, you cool it down. A light blue focal light on Semi, with grays and whites on the other band members.

It matched with the RnB edge this song had.

“Now you’re in a hurry. Feels like a long way home.”

He moved up more, tugging on the chord connecting his guitar. He stood in the center of the stage.

His vocals were stunning. Usually, it was Hanamaki singing, with Semi doing the backing vocals. But this was all Semi’s scratchy, deep, resounding, pleading voice. He sang like he was begging for a lifeline.

“You’re just the light I follow.” He wasn’t closing his eyes, he was looking straight at you. You looked behind yourself, only seeing the black wall. You checked in front of you to see if any girls you were familiar with were standing in front of your systems booth. But no, the crowd was just packed with dedicated fanboys and fangirls tonight.

“Right now you just can’t see. I’ll feel the same tomorrow. ‘Cause a good thing is falling on me.”

So this is what all your boys had been talking about. Semi’s special show.

“I’ll max it out one time.”

What a nerd.

“And I know they go on and on and on, I know you’re growing tired of me.”

You’d never get tired of him. And somehow you knew that he knew that.

“And even when you're nervous, or you’re feeling out of order”

Hanamaki had joined in, singing the backing lyrics at this point. Semi just kept looking at you.

“I’m somewhere right next to you, singing you the chorus.”

He’d always been clingy.

“I’ll max it out one time for you, ‘Cause I know it’s overdue.”

Hell yeah, it was overdue.

“So, I raise my glass to you.”

He raises his bottle of water.

An uncontrollable smile erupts over his face. The crowd is in shambles. People were screaming, some were off in a tucked away corner kissing, and someone was getting pulled off the gate to the stage by security.

He doesn’t sing anymore. He mouths the words to just you.

“I love you.”

So there they were, Electric Guest. Sitting in a run-down 24/7 diner laughing and throwing fries at each other.

So there they were; Semi and you. He had his arms around you, chin resting on your shoulder, joking about the time Konoha had spilled his weird mixture of mayo and ketchup all over a borrowed white shirt.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa were pinching each other under the table.

Futakuchi and Konoha were arguing about who got more tagged posts on Instagram.

“I think we should adopt a baby or something.” Hanamaki waved Matsukawa’s vape in the air.

“You would be arrested in like two seconds. You can barely function as a human being Hiro.” Futakuchi ate another fry, starting to list off all the reasons Hanamaki would make a horrible parent figure. Matsukawa kept trying to get another hit from his vape, but Hanamaki just kept waving it around.

You turned to face Semi, but he was already looking at you.

“Max It Out?” You brought up the title of his Not Confession, confession song.

“I wanted to title it your name, but no, that would be too on the nose for some people.” Semi glared at Konoha.

Konoha shrugged, “Eita, you always go on and on about increasing your bass, I thought that ‘Max It Out’ would just click better with the average audience. You know, the same audience who wasn’t exactly there to witness you groping on our friend here last week.” Konoha patted your thigh.

Futakuchi dropped his fry. Complaining that he was always the last one to know what was going on with his friends.

“I wouldn’t call it groping, maybe loving, but not groping.”

“That could be a good lyric for our next song,” Matsukawa brought his hands up to motion them in a rainbow shape, presenting an idea, “we could call it, ‘I Had Sex With My Best Friend Who I Pined After Since I Was Nineteen, I Also Passionately Care About Her And Ended Up Punching Her Ex-Boyfriend Who Is Also My Other Best Friend’ I think that has a real ring to it for a song title.”

Semi rolled his eyes, “Not looking like that title would fit with the rest of our catalog.”

You consoled Matsukawa by handing him back the fiver he gave you for trimming his hair.

Futakuchi, still upset at not knowing about you and Semi’s incident, posed a question, “Well if Aki, Eita, and I have all kissed you, where does that leave Issei and Hiro?”

Semi’s mouth dropped open, “When did that happen?”

“Our kiss? Uh, I can’t remember. But we did.”

You shrugged, it wasn’t your best moment. But Futakuchi had been a very good kisser. “After advertising class ended. I was having a moment about where my life was going.”

“I still think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve kissed so far.”

Semi groans. “This is so unfair. I waited over four years, but Jiji and Aki got to kiss you before me?”

“Slow your roll Eita, if we keep this up, maybe we will end up in a polyamorous relationship.” Hanamaki analyzed, and you knew all about his thoughts about that situation occurring. He had told you several times that if a six-person relationship did exist, then it still wouldn't be as amazing as the dynamics between all of you.

“No more kissing other people,” Semi rubbed your elbow, “You’re stuck to me now. Might as well stay with the one with the best dick.”

You nodded. Semi grinned, waiting expectantly.

“This is the part where you start listing off other good qualities about me.”

“Nope, I think you listed them all.”

Konoha stuck his tongue out and mocked Semi’s claims about genitalia.

After a copious amount of french fries, and enough jokes about everything that had happened the last few years, Semi and you walked hand in hand to his car.

“I got a new bass booster in my car.”

“Why exactly?” You buckled yourself, before reaching over and buckling Semi in as well.

“So I can blast our favorite songs while making you scream.”

There he was, your flirting, egotistical, arrogant, loving best friend. You nixed the best friend part in your head, writing ‘soulmate’ in place.

“Also, can you rescind the whole work-husband divorce claims?” He rested his hand on the back of your seat while backing up his car. Flexing his arm on purpose.

“Sure, there’s a few things you’ll have to do before I officially call you husband again.” You listed off chores, errands, and body parts.

Semi licked his lips, “I can do that.”

---

BONUS:

Playlist for all the music nerds out there: (aka my headcanon of 'Electric Guest's Latest Album)

"Max It Out" - Electric Guest --- The main song from this fic, Semi's confession fic. It was not the only confession song he wrote though. One day, all the lyrics he wrote became less about teenagerhood and fun and genuinely about love.

"Get Out" -Electric Guest --- Our main character's favorite song, it's about exceptionalism. If you can't handle the heat, don't play in the arena. Also about gambling and not going back to toxic people. MC is an icon for sure for having this as her favorite song (Max It Out is her actual favorite, but would rather die than tell Semi)

"This Head I Hold" - Electric Guest --- Matsukawa's favorite, he gets to start the song off with his keyboard. Also Matsukawa's favorite because it's about getting high. The druggie energy is strong with him.

"That's What Happens" -Kid Bloom --- An unreleased Semi song, depression hit him hard when he and Konoha had their heart-to-heart. He kept it locked away until this very specific album release. When he went into detail telling our main character about why he wrote the song, she had to wipe tears from the corners of Semi's eyes, give him love please.

"Window Pane (Pretty Little Thing)" - GSoul --- Hanamaki's favorite song off their newest album, mostly because he helped to write the lyrics, but he'll still love to sing "Lavender Sunflower" because no words sung will ever top "sexify" for him.

"Hold Me" - Hojean --- Futakuchi's favorite song from the new album because the drums are the most heavily featured at the core. And because the autotune is heavy enough to let him pretend Hanamaki isn't the one singing.

"Wake" - Jiwoo --- When Semi wrote this one, Konoha had spent hours trying to figure out who it was about. To Konoha's shock it was about his ex-girlfriend turned into lifelong best friend. Konoha almost got revenge by punching Semi and telling him that it had already been two years, and that someone would make a move soon. Semi then explained his idea for his confession. Konoha realized his friend may be an actual genius.

"Oh Devil" - Electric Guest --- Konoha's favorite song off the new album, he spent the most time in the recording studio practicing this one, he even picked up some additional instruments to help produce it to its highest potential.

"Basic" - Electric Guest --- Semi's hate-piece to the label and to other bands who had been calling out Electric Guest's unconventional style choices. The label thought this one would be the least streamed, jokes on them because it got TikTok famous (courtesy of Semi's newly shown off girlfriend making hot edits for each of the band members)

"Charismatic" - Hailey Knox --- Hanamaki's only duet with a woman. The singer loved what they were doing, and asked to be the main vocal on a b-side song. When all was said and done, Hanamaki and Matsukawa finally had another person to blow smoke with when listening to "Sex, Drugs, Etc."

[omegaremix]

September 15 & 16, 2022.

Cold Waves X. It was a four-month wait from purchase to admission. I owed it to myself to go because goddamn it I’m a fucking industrialist. How should I even miss an opportunity to go to Brooklyn’s Warsaw and be around my type of people that are almost non-existent on Long Island? Plus, Paul Barker, Chris Connelly, and Front 242 would be there. It would be the third and final show of the year I’d attend, capping off a amazing run that started with Boy Harsher in April and continued with Sacred Bones 15th Anniversary (May).

Never had I traveled to New York City on back-to-back days. But the money spent on tickets and round-trip train fare was doubly worth it. I was met with two almost-perfect days of blue skies, white clouds, and nice leveled temperatures. Two days of driving westward on the Long Island Expressway, down Sagtikos Parkway, through Southern State to Rt. 231, and heading south to Rt. 27A to the Babylon stop to Penn Station with alphabet and number lines back and forth to boot, followed by breezy night drives down 27A and Sunrise Highway / Rt. 27 at 3AM. A sense of perfect pitch-black quiet and normalcy waited at the end as a response to two days of unforgettable acts.

No journey to Brooklyn and back wasn’t without being drenched in heavy sweat traversing through subway lines, race-walking on the broken concrete, and standing in one spot for five hours. I’d meet an older gentleman in his Seventies who, like me on Friday’s half, wore a Killing Joke shirt. His debut album to my “Turn To Red”. I’d meet some pretty interesting characters at the stations including a Tommy Conte look-a-like smootching his boyfriend, an Asian girl in a purple dress who’s thigh was bloodied and bandaged, hot wicked pale leatherettes, and a boyfriend who boarded the ‘E’ line with his girlfriend who was literally covered with deep red hickeys from neck to chest.

It was an event incomparable to the Sacred Bones’ showcase before it, or the ten-hour endurance test that was Hospital Productions’ 20th Anniversary. A double-headed victory, nonetheless. And I have the tracklist to prove it:

Male Tears: “Dealer”

Bedbug: “Songs About Ghosts”

Gauche: “Cycles”

Smash Your Enemies: “Faithless”

Courtney Love (indie): “Stripmine”

Axe Rash: “Bury Your Way Out”

Curse Mackey: “After You, Destruction”

Ducks Ltd.: “Sheets Of Grey”

Gauche: “Boom Hazard”

Nick Klein: “A Bundle And Some Speakers”

JPEGMAFIA: “The 27 Club”

Beirut: “So Slowly”

Dead Leaf Echo: “Milk.blue.kisses (Foil In Motion)”

Marine Girls: “On My Mind”

Katy & Nick: “Dinner Line”

Pom Pom Squad: “Popular”

Thanks For Coming: “Hard Drive”

Male Tears: “2AM”

Traps PS: “Prim Dancer”

7 Year Bitch: “You Smell Lonely”

Mediaslaves: “%”

Restraining Order: “Upper Class Bum”

Revolting Cocks: “Get Down” (EXT)

Old Iron: “Planetisimal”

Courtney Love: “My Last Night”

Television Personalities: “Happy Families”

Soda Lilies: “At Night” (demo)

Paper Dollhouse: “Emeralds”

Marbled Eye: “New Crease”

Male Tears: “Hit Me”

Silent Servant: “Slasher”

Siouxsie & The Banshees: “Party’s Fall”

Katy & Nick: “Sailor”

Kaputt: “Accordion”

Guerilla Toss: “Famously Alive”

Television Personalities: "Posing At The Roundhouse”

Totally Unicorn: “Dead Before A Live Audience”

Infinity Land: “Small Town Ritual Abuse”

DJ Muggs & Riggs: “Heads On The Wall”

Acumen Nation: “Gun Lover”

Mess: “F.T.W.”

JPEGMAFIA: “What’s Crackin”

Michael Berdan: “Combat Shock (Sentimental About the Taste of Gun Oil)“

Breakfast Muff: "Crocodile”

Mr. Elevator: “I Am The Moon”

Belk: “Question Of Stress”

Fight Amp: “Ex Everything”

Spike Hellis: “Rook”

Baby Strange: “Midnight”

Smirk: “Irrelevant Man”

Vandal Moon: “Young. Deadly. Beautiful”

Exek: “ID'ed”

Akitsa: “Vers La Victoire”

Happy Meals / Free Love: “May You Be The Mother”

Sunrot: “21%”

Vandal Moon: “Queen Of The Night”

[tutuandscoot]

Can we talk about the 4cc version of Kiss? I forgot how much I love that version! They just seemed like their confidence was turned up to the max! Also I know that S swings his leg up and around right before he dips T but I noticed this is the only version where he also swings his leg up *after* he dips her and it’s even higher than before 🥵idk he was just on fire there. And then I love watching the slow motion replay. Tessa especially looks so god damn majestic. Her facial expressions and attitude that she brought to that performance were so on point. What a star 🤩

DAMN STRAIGHT WE CAN.

This is probably the version of Prince (other than ACI) that I’ve watched the least (also where TF is the nationals video?????). The terrible camera work from this event doesn’t bother me so much in the FD bc the more artsy/free vibe of Latch, but Prince.. with half the NTMLSS cut off.. grrrr

But ignoring that uncomfortable watching experience it has some admirable qualities I’d forgotten to fully appreciate.

Firstly- not that I’ve seen the whole comp but I’ve seen the skate order, and seeing that it’s based off world rankings they skated earlier than they normally would’ve, so this burst of energy (and superior talent) would’ve been such a wake up for everyone.

You can definitely see them starting to amp up the energy and precision in this version- the worlds skate being supreme. In the first opening, voguing moves T is so much sharper and S has so much character and is super precise with is movements.

+ this moment from T : the pony tail whip and the sassy snap 🫰

Also in the midline step with the hip hop moves they were so in to it and really trying to feel loose and express that cool kinda hip hop (which I much prefer over the majority of the other programs that year).

Now would you believe me if I told you I never even noticed how high he kicks he is leg after the dip here!?! It’s partly the bad camera angle that’s blocking it, and he does it so quick you’ll miss it. But damn is that hot or what?!?? 🥵

God they are just so cool and casual about their amazingness! They know they are the best good, they perform with so much confidence- never look apologetic for being out there, but they also do not offend you or turn you off by there confidence. They have mastered (they always had this quality) the delicate balance of being into each other and into themselves (in these kinds of programs) as well as performing/interacting with each other and the audience. I’ve never seen another team that’s able to do that like them. So often it’s one or the other, or a mix in the one performance bc they haven’t figured it out. I really don’t know if that’s the sort of thing that can be trained- I really think VM are born performers, and they are each other’s artistic soulmate.

Moving on, their blues pattern is just soo good as well. The deepest edges, covering so much ice. The musicality- I watch every other team (I did this watching the Beijing olys as well) and I count it to VM’s timing- obs they are all doing the same tempo but no one conducts the music like VM do- it’s like they guide the music with their dancing, they are so in the music it’s scary. (Also his twizzle into the first step is m a d n e s s I’ll never shut up about it) 🥵🥵

S has a little boo boo in the middle of the in-hold pattern (which is maybe another reason I don’t watch this version much) but you so easily forget about it and you’re almost immediately right back in it with them. I will say though I think you could feel it in him a bit- like he kept the reminder of that mistake with him throughout the rest of it (I only say that as someone who has watched and studied them so much I pick up on those things) but still overall a superior performance.

I just thought about this watching the video to write this post, and you know how both they (and the fandom) have alluded to it being kind of obvious T was more of a leader this season then ever before.. I think the place that is most clear during actual skating is in the twizzles in Prince- not Latch at all for some reason.. only Prince. Now S was shaky on his twizzles all season (I’ve written before about maybe why) and it seems odd to say that one of them could be ‘leading’ in an individually executed element, but it’s just a thought that popped into my head watching it that.. idk something about the rhythm.. it feels kinda like T is guiding/setting the rhythm, or maybe it’s that hers (twizzles) were soooo solid all season that you’re confident in watching her- like she kinda covers for him in a way?? Idk.. just a thought, but it’s really fascinating to think about how that dynamic operates between them and they could share duties like that (@ VM start your podcast I need more info on this super specific shit)

And then yeah the rest of it is great. Just them being rockstars, amazing lift, crowd on its feet, me in tears, the usual.

I’ve read others say and I agree with it that often if one of them has a bad skate (but usually if it’s him that messes up) they will deprive themselves of a post-skate hug bc they feel they don’t deserve it. Here he messed up and you can tell he was mad so instead of it being ‘well T did good she deserves a hug’ it’s ‘I made a mistake I don’t deserve a hug from my kiddo’.. which lets reestablish: we do not know this for certain.. but it is the vibe I (and others obviously) get. Then there’s times where one does mess up and the other is insistent on a hug (ie worlds this year or NHK the next year when he messed up the twizzles) (also he was very insistent on always giving her hugs earlier around 2010/her injuries).

So yes this is a great performance- every time you could see them getting better and better, which still you watch stuff from 2010 and it’s like ‘how will they get better than that’ and yet they did- they were never satisfied and I love that about them!

Thank for this anon, let’s open it up to more of these- send through a specific performance of any (VM) program with a few key points (like the above ask) and I’ll elaborate- can’t promise they’ll get done straight away but I’ll work my way through them.

ALSO: go ahead and watch this entire program on mute.. double check to make sure you aren’t watching it sped up.. you’re not- they just skate THAT FAST 💨

[omegaplus]

# 4,488

September 15 & 16, 2022.

Cold Waves X. It was a four-month wait from purchase to admission. I owed it to myself to go because goddamn it I’m a fucking industrialist. How should I even miss an opportunity to go to Brooklyn’s Warsaw and be around my type of people that are almost non-existent on Long Island? Plus, Paul Barker, Chris Connelly, and Front 242 would be there. It would be the third and final show of the year I’d attend, capping off a amazing run that started with Boy Harsher in April and continued with Sacred Bones 15th Anniversary (May).

Never had I traveled to New York City on back-to-back days. But the money spent on tickets and round-trip train fare was doubly worth it. I was met with two almost-perfect days of blue skies, white clouds, and nice leveled temperatures. Two days of driving westward on the Long Island Expressway, down Sagtikos Parkway, through Southern State to Rt. 231, and heading south to Rt. 27A to the Babylon stop to Penn Station with alphabet and number lines back and forth to boot, followed by breezy night drives down 27A and Sunrise Highway / Rt. 27 at 3AM. A sense of perfect pitch-black quiet and normalcy waited at the end as a response to two days of unforgettable acts.

No journey to Brooklyn and back wasn’t without being drenched in heavy sweat traversing through subway lines, race-walking on the broken concrete, and standing in one spot for five hours. I’d meet an older gentleman in his Seventies who, like me on Friday’s half, wore a Killing Joke shirt. His debut album to my “Turn To Red”. I’d meet some pretty interesting characters at the stations including a Tommy Conte look-a-like smootching his boyfriend, an Asian girl in a purple dress who’s thigh was bloodied and bandaged, hot wicked pale leatherettes, and a boyfriend who boarded the ‘E’ line with his girlfriend who was literally covered with deep red hickeys from neck to chest.

It was an event incomparable to the Sacred Bones’ showcase before it, or the ten-hour endurance test that was Hospital Productions’ 20th Anniversary. A double-headed victory, nonetheless. And I have the tracklist to prove it:

Male Tears: “Dealer”

Bedbug: “Songs About Ghosts”

Gauche: “Cycles”

Smash Your Enemies: “Faithless”

Courtney Love (indie): “Stripmine”

Axe Rash: “Bury Your Way Out”

Curse Mackey: “After You, Destruction”

Ducks Ltd.: “Sheets Of Grey”

Gauche: “Boom Hazard”

Nick Klein: “A Bundle And Some Speakers”

JPEGMAFIA: “The 27 Club”

Beirut: “So Slowly”

Dead Leaf Echo: “Milk.blue.kisses (Foil In Motion)”

Marine Girls: “On My Mind”

Katy & Nick: “Dinner Line”

Pom Pom Squad: “Popular”

Thanks For Coming: “Hard Drive”

Male Tears: “2AM”

Traps PS: “Prim Dancer”

7 Year Bitch: “You Smell Lonely”

Mediaslaves: “%”

Restraining Order: “Upper Class Bum”

Revolting Cocks: “Get Down” (EXT)

Old Iron: “Planetisimal”

Courtney Love: “My Last Night”

Television Personalities: “Happy Families”

Soda Lilies: “At Night” (demo)

Paper Dollhouse: “Emeralds”

Marbled Eye: “New Crease”

Male Tears: “Hit Me”

Silent Servant: “Slasher”

Siouxsie & The Banshees: “Party’s Fall”

Katy & Nick: “Sailor”

Kaputt: “Accordion”

Guerilla Toss: “Famously Alive”

Television Personalities: Posing At The Roundhouse”

Totally Unicorn: “Dead Before A Live Audience”

Infinity Land: “Small Town Ritual Abuse”

DJ Muggs & Riggs: “Heads On The Wall”

Acumen Nation: “Gun Lover”

Mess: “F.T.W.”

JPEGMAFIA: “What’s Crackin”

Michael Berdan: “Combat Shock (Sentimental About the Taste of Gun Oil)"

Breakfast Muff: "Crocodile"

Mr. Elevator: "I Am The Moon"

Belk: "Question Of Stress"

Fight Amp: "Ex Everything"

Spike Hellis: "Rook"

Baby Strange: "Midnight"

Smirk: "Irrelevant Man"

Vandal Moon: "Young. Deadly. Beautiful"

Exek: "ID'ed"

Akitsa: "Vers La Victoire"

Happy Meals / Free Love: "May You Be The Mother"

Sunrot: "21%"

Vandal Moon: "Queen Of The Night"

[nouveaux24]

How to Get the Best Results with E6013 Welding Electrodes

Welding with E6013 electrodes is popular among beginners and professionals alike due to their versatility, smooth arc, and ease of use. Known for their ability to produce a soft arc and smooth welds, E6013 electrodes work well on thinner materials and can be used with AC or DC welding machines. However, getting the best results requires understanding the proper techniques and applications. This guide will walk you through tips and tricks to maximize your welding performance with E6013 electrodes.

Welding Electrode manufacturer

1. Understanding E6013 Electrodes: What Sets Them Apart

E6013 electrodes are often referred to as "beginner-friendly" because of their user-friendly nature. The code E6013 Itself tells you a lot about the electrode:

"E" stands for electrode.

"60" indicates a tensile strength of 60,000 psi.

"1" means it can be used in all positions—flat, horizontal, vertical, and overhead.

"3" refers to the type of flux coating, which allows for easy striking and restarting of the arc.

The E6013 electrode is ideal for light to medium penetration, making it a great option for welding thin metals like mild steel.

2. Choosing the Right Settings for E6013 Electrodes

To achieve the best results with E6013, your machine’s settings are crucial. Here are some key considerations:

Amperage: The recommended amperage setting for E6013 electrodes depends on the electrode size. As a general rule, lower amperage settings are better for thin metals, while higher settings work for thicker materials.

For 1/16" electrodes: 20-40 amps

For 3/32" electrodes: 40-90 amps

For 1/8" electrodes: 80-130 amps

For 5/32" electrodes: 110-165 amps

Polarity: E6013 electrodes can be used with both AC and DC currents, but the best results are often achieved using DC positive (DC+), as it provides a smoother arc.

Arc Length: Keep the arc length short when using E6013 electrodes. A long arc can result in excessive spatter and a weaker weld.

Welding Rod manufacturer

3. Technique Matters: How to Handle E6013 Electrodes

Welding technique is critical when working with E6013 electrodes. Follow these tips to improve your weld quality:

Electrode Angle: Keep the electrode at a 15-20° angle from the direction of travel. This helps ensure good penetration and proper bead formation.

Travel Speed: Too slow a travel speed will lead to excessive weld build-up, while too fast will cause undercutting and weak welds. Practice maintaining a steady, even speed for the best results.

Weaving vs. Stringer Beads: While E6013 works well with stringer beads (straight-line welds), weaving is also a common technique. Use a slight side-to-side motion (weaving) for broader welds, particularly in vertical and overhead positions.

4. Striking and Restarting the Arc

One of the challenges with E6013 electrodes is striking and restarting the arc cleanly. Here are a few tricks:

Striking the Arc: E6013 electrodes strike easily, but to avoid sticking, you can use a tap or scratch method to start the arc smoothly.

Restarting: If the arc breaks mid-weld, remove any slag that may have built up at the break point before reigniting. Restart the arc slightly ahead of the previous weld crater and move back quickly to fill the gap.

E6013 welding electrode Manufacturer

5. Cleaning and Preparing the Metal

While E6013 electrodes can tolerate some level of rust or dirt on the base metal, it’s always a good practice to clean your workpiece. A clean surface ensures a better bond, less porosity, and a stronger weld.

Use a wire brush or grinder to remove any rust, dirt, or paint from the welding surface.

For optimal results, ensure your metal is free of oil or moisture, which can cause porosity and weaken the weld.

6. Post-Weld Clean-Up and Inspection

After completing your weld, it’s essential to clean and inspect it:

Slag Removal: E6013 electrodes produce a layer of slag that covers the weld bead. Wait for the weld to cool slightly before using a chipping hammer or wire brush to remove the slag.

Inspecting the Weld: Check for signs of defects like cracks, porosity, or undercutting. A smooth, even bead with minimal spatter is a sign of a good weld. If defects are present, adjustments to your technique or settings may be necessary for future welds.

E6013 Welding Electrode

7. Common Mistakes to Avoid with E6013 Electrodes

Avoid these common mistakes to ensure optimal welding results:

Using too high amperage: This can cause excessive spatter and burn-through.

Moving too fast or too slow: Both can compromise the strength and appearance of your weld.

Improper arc length: Too long an arc will weaken the weld; too short, and you’ll risk the electrode sticking.

Conclusion

E6013 welding electrodes are a fantastic choice for hobbyists, beginners, and professionals tackling light fabrication projects. By following the right techniques—such as setting the correct amperage, maintaining proper travel speed, and keeping a short arc—you can achieve smooth, high-quality welds. With practice and patience, you’ll master the E6013 electrode and its unique properties, ensuring your welds are not only strong but also aesthetically pleasing.

[skinayu]

Discover the Benefits of Sulphate-Free Facewash with Skinayu: A Natural Approach to SkincareIn the bustling world of skincare, finding the perfect facewash can be a daunting task. The market is flooded with countless options, each promising radiant, clear skin. However, one ingredient you might want to avoid is sulphates. Known for their harsh, drying effects, sulphates can strip your skin of its natural oils, leading to irritation and dryness. Enter Skinayu, a brand dedicated to providing sulphate-free skincare solutions that are gentle yet effective.Why Choose Sulphate-Free?Sulphates, such as sodium lauryl sulphate (SLS) and sodium laureth sulphate (SLES), are commonly used in facewashes for their foaming properties. However, these chemicals can be too harsh for the delicate skin on your face. Sulphate-free facewashes, on the other hand, use milder surfactants derived from natural sources. This makes them ideal for all skin types, especially sensitive and dry skin.Skinayu’s Sulphate-Free FacewashSkinayu’s sulphate-free facewash stands out in the crowded market for several reasons:Natural Ingredients: Skinayu prides itself on using high-quality, natural ingredients that nourish and protect your skin. The facewash contains botanical extracts and essential oils known for their soothing and healing properties.Gentle Cleansing: Without the harshness of sulphates, this facewash gently cleanses your skin, removing dirt, oil, and impurities without stripping away essential moisture. This helps maintain your skin's natural balance and prevents dryness.Suitable for All Skin Types: Whether you have oily, dry, combination, or sensitive skin, Skinayu’s sulphate-free facewash is formulated to be gentle yet effective. It reduces the risk of irritation and leaves your skin feeling fresh and clean.Eco-Friendly: Skinayu is committed to sustainability. Their products are cruelty-free and packaged in environmentally friendly materials, ensuring that you can take care of your skin and the planet simultaneously.Benefits of Using Skinayu’s Sulphate-Free FacewashHydration: Unlike sulphate-based facewashes that can leave your skin feeling tight and dry, Skinayu’s formula helps retain moisture, keeping your skin soft and supple.Reduced Irritation: Free from harsh chemicals, this facewash is less likely to cause redness or irritation, making it perfect for those with sensitive skin.Natural Glow: Regular use of Skinayu’s facewash can lead to a healthier, more radiant complexion as it supports your skin's natural renewal process.How to UseUsing Skinayu’s sulphate-free facewash is simple. Apply a small amount to your damp face, gently massage in circular motions, and rinse thoroughly with lukewarm water. Follow up with your favorite Skinayu moisturizer for best results.Where to BuySkinayu’s sulphate-free facewash is available for purchase online in India. Visit their official website or check out popular e-commerce platforms to get your hands on this must-have skincare essential.ConclusionSwitching to a sulphate-free facewash like Skinayu’s can be a game-changer for your skincare routine. With its natural ingredients, gentle cleansing action, and suitability for all skin types, Skinayu offers a refreshing alternative to traditional facewashes. Embrace the benefits of sulphate-free skincare and experience the difference with Skinayu. Your skin will thank you for it!READ MORE...Buy Skin & Hair Products Online, Sulphate Free Shampoo - Skinayu

[jstevh]

Video prompt suggestion

Was back at chatbot arena at lmsys.org and asked AI models to give me a prompt for a video highlighting how AI can amp your journey like a moving walkway.

First is again ChatGPT like previously. Somehow I end up getting a lot! Which is ok but I don't even know the models until I pick a conversation as best.

Have no idea how well prompt works. Posting anyway.

Prompt for AI to Generate a Cartoon Illustrating Coding Analogies with Airport Walkways

Title: "The Coder's Journey: From Manual Coding to AI Assistance"

Frame 1: Traditional Walking - Coding Without AI

• Description: Show a character at an airport looking at a long, empty hallway. The character looks determined but a bit overwhelmed.

• Caption: "Starting the journey: Coding from scratch without assistance."

• Details: The character has a backpack labeled 'Manual Coder', and the hallway has signs like 'Bug City' and 'Debugging Valley' ahead.

Frame 2: Walking on Moving Walkways - Using AI as a Tool

• Description: Now, the character steps onto a moving walkway. They're still walking, but with a noticeable boost, and a smile shows their increased speed and ease.

• Caption: "Enhanced journey: Using AI to speed up coding while still guiding the process."

• Details: Show speed lines to indicate motion. The walkway is labeled 'AI-Powered Walkway'. Signs along the side show 'Efficiency Lane' and 'Faster Outputs'.

Frame 3: Standing Still on Moving Walkways - Fully Relying on AI

• Description: The character is now standing still on another moving walkway, moving quickly with no effort. They look relaxed, maybe even a bit disengaged, holding a coffee.

• Caption: "Effortless travel: Fully relying on AI to do the work."

• Details: The character's bag now says 'AI Reliant'. The scenery zooms by, with blurred signs like 'Instant Results' and 'Minimal Learning'.

Frame 4: Reflecting on the Journey

• Description: The character stands at the end of the walkway, looking at a map of the airport (symbolizing the project landscape). They appear thoughtful, evaluating their journey.

• Caption: "Reflecting on the balance: Efficiency vs. Understanding."

• Details: The map shows different paths like 'Full Control Route', 'Balanced Pathway', and 'AI Express Lane'.

Additional Instructions:

• Style: Cartoonish, with bright colors and expressive characters to keep it engaging and informative.

• Audience: Aimed at both novice and experienced coders, and people curious about AI's role in coding.

• Output Format: Four panels that can be shared as a single image or as separate frames for clarity.

This prompt is designed for AI systems capable of generating illustrations or for artists looking to visualize this concept. If you're looking for an AI that can turn this into a more dynamic video or animation, you might explore AI tools like DALL-E for images or look into simple animation software where you can import images and add basic movements. However, for more complex animations, professional software or services would be necessary, which often requires sign-up or subscription.

-------

Other model was Reka Core. Gave a storyboard format.

-------

Here’s a simple storyboard outline for your cartoon:

Scene 1: Arrival at the Airport

• Visual: A character (could be any anthropomorphic figure, like a person, animal, or even an object) arrives at the airport, looking a bit overwhelmed by the long walk ahead.

• Caption: "Starting a project without tools: Every step requires effort."

Scene 2: Walking on Your Own

• Visual: The character starts walking down the concourse, clearly putting in effort, with a determined look but also a hint of strain.

• Caption: "Manual work: Slow and steady, but all effort is your own."

Scene 3: Using the Moving Walkway

• Visual: The character steps onto a moving walkway. Their expression changes to one of relief and effort is visibly reduced as they move faster without expending as much energy.

• Caption: "Assisted by tools: Less effort, more speed. You're moving faster, with help."

Scene 4: Standing Still on the Walkway

• Visual: The character, now on another moving walkway, stops walking altogether and leans back, looking relaxed but unaware of their surroundings.

• Caption: "Over-reliance on tools: Comfortable, but where are you going? You're not in control."

Scene 5: Conclusion

• Visual: The character realizes they've missed their gate and rushes off the walkway, back to walking on their own.

• Caption: "Balance is key: Use tools to aid, not replace, your journey. Stay engaged and reach your destination."

You can sketch this out or describe it to an artist or use a storyboard creation tool if you prefer a digital format. While I can't generate the animation for you directly without using a specific service, this storyboard should give you a clear idea to visualize or share with someone who can create the animation.

[dustedmagazine]

Lisa Ullén — Heirloom (Fönstret)

Photo by Märta Thisner

Heirlooms are cherished objects. They might be pricy, or they might simply accumulate sentimental value as they pass from one generation to the next. But what counts as an heirloom when your lineage is lost to you? On the sleeve of Lisa Ullén’s Heirloom is a photograph of the box of belongings she brought from South Korea to Sweden in 1968, when she was adopted, a few months shy of four years old.

As one looks at the sleeve, the questions pile up. What was in the box? Does she still have its contents? What did she cherish as she transitioned from one home to another, one culture to another, one climate to another? Did her early experiences impel her towards a life in creative music? Heirloom is a solo piano recording, so it never comes out and tells the listener the answer to any of these questions. The album, her first vinyl release after eighteen years of CDs, doesn’t address those questions head on. But the music was conceived with existential and experiential questions in mind.

In the 1980s and 1990s, Ullén studied classical piano at the Royal Musical Academy of Stockholm. By the end of the 1990s she had left classical repertoire behind in favor of various improvisational approaches, but to this day one can still hear the precise touch of classical technique in her playing. Spaces in between, containing multiple states, expression using multiple modalities at once, that’s what this music is about. It was recorded during a sequence of lunchtime concerts held at Fylkingen, a venue which hosts jazz, experimental, and new composed music performances in Stockholm. The same three pieces appear on both sides, separated by vinyl and time; side A is from June 6 and side B from June 8, 2023. Perhaps the choice to skip the middle day accentuated the changes in her approach? While the melodic progress, harmonic structure, and sound content of each sequence of pieces is roughly the same in either performance, the pacing and attack, as well as the situation of the piano’s preparations, varies.

The differences between each performance suggest that even when structures are well established, outcomes are not. Ullén damps strings to change their pitch and timbre, and also uses an e-bow to more dramatically transform the instrument’s sound, which drastically transforms the piano’s sound. I couldn’t tell you how she does it, but Ullén’s e-bow sets in motion vibrations that sound so distorted and fuzzy, the piano sounds more like what Link Wray got by poking pencils in his guitar’s amp’s speaker cone than what John Cage got by preparing his piano with hardware. It’s easy to get hung up on the novelty of Ullén’s sounds, which impart a visceral thrill that’s likely to keep you coming back to them. But as one spends time with them, the existential dimension of how they’re played looms larger. This is music is formed and reformed by the choices Ullén makes as she orchestrates and reorders begrimed rumbles and pristine notes into an ongoing report about her relationship to the piano, sound and the process by which she makes both communicate her place in the world. By encoding this process by which she lives her life, Heirloom earns its name.

Bill Meyer

[atriawebsolutions]

Web Development Trends: Shaping the Future of Online Marketing

In the dynamic realm of web development, staying ahead of the curve is crucial for building the digital landscape of tomorrow. As technology evolves, so do the trends that define user experiences, functionality, and overall online presence. In this blog, we'll delve into the web development trends that are reshaping the future of online marketing, providing insights into the tools and techniques that will drive digital success.

Responsive and Progressive Web Apps (PWAs):

The demand for seamless user experiences across devices continues to drive the popularity of responsive web design. Additionally, Progressive Web Apps (PWAs) are gaining traction, offering users app-like experiences directly through browsers. These trends enhance accessibility, engagement, and overall user satisfaction.

Voice Search Optimization:

With the rise of virtual assistants and smart devices, voice search is becoming ubiquitous. Web developers are focusing on optimizing websites for voice search, ensuring that content is structured to meet the conversational nature of voice queries. This trend is integral for staying relevant in the era of voice-activated search.

Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP):

Speed is paramount in the digital age. Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP) aim to deliver lightning-fast loading times for mobile users. This trend is not only a ranking factor for search engines but also a crucial element in providing users with swift, efficient, and satisfying interactions on mobile devices.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) and Chatbots:

AI-driven technologies are revolutionizing the web development landscape. Chatbots, powered by AI, are enhancing user engagement by providing instant responses and personalized interactions. Integrating AI into web development is not just a trend; it's a paradigm shift in creating intelligent, user-centric digital experiences.

Blockchain Technology for Security:

As online threats become more sophisticated, the integration of blockchain technology in web development is on the rise. Blockchain ensures secure and transparent transactions, making it an attractive choice for e-commerce platforms and websites handling sensitive data. Security-conscious users are increasingly prioritizing platforms with blockchain integration.

Motion UI and Microinteractions:

Enhancing user engagement goes beyond static designs. Motion UI and microinteractions add dynamic elements to websites, creating visually appealing and interactive user interfaces. These trends not only capture attention but also contribute to a more immersive and enjoyable user experience.

Augmented Reality (AR) and Virtual Reality (VR) Integration:

AR and VR technologies are breaking new ground in web development. From immersive product experiences to virtual showrooms, integrating AR and VR elevates the online shopping and browsing experience. This trend is poised to transform how users interact with digital content.

Conclusion:

The future of online marketing is intricately tied to the evolving landscape of web development. By embracing these trends, businesses can create digital ecosystems that are not only aesthetically pleasing but also technologically advanced. From responsive design to the integration of emerging technologies like AI and AR, staying informed about these trends is key to building the digital future that awaits. Web development is not just about coding; it's about crafting experiences that resonate with the ever-changing expectations of the online audience.

[hoshuha]

ENTRY 11: SUMMATIVE PROCESS

Creation Process

Structure, Tempo and Time signature:

The tempo and Time signature for both tracks are 80bpm, 4:4, which is suitable for the genre- many songs from Neo soul artists I follow such as Nao Yoshioka and Toshiki Soejima write songs with similar tempos: Toshiki Soejima- Life: 79bpm (Soejima, 2021), Nao Yoshioka Got me: 81bpm ((Yoshioka, 2020). A slower tempo makes the song feel smooth and allows chords/embellishments to breathe within the mix. It also helps to ease the ear into the many modulations that occur.

The track has 48 bars and is structured as displayed in the picture above.

Key Signature, Rhythmic and melodic ideas:

Throughout the track, I switch between D major/minor, G minor and E altered scales. Additionally, as evidenced by the outro, there are sections where I incorporate multiple passing chords which create an ambiguous ascending/descending motion. The outro starts with a Gm9 chord (rooted on the A string), then descends gradually after using various dominant 9 and minor 9 chords, resolving with E major 7/B - this created a walking bass movement which is common in Neo Soul and Jazz and ultimately assisted in resolving the tension. The altered dominant chords allow me to play notes from the altered scale which add more tension than those from mixolydian (if using a regular dominant chord).

Personally, I enjoy the constant modulations within the track as they help to alter the course of the melody- adding unpredictability and interest to the song. Switching between parallel keys (D major to D minor) puts an emphasis on the intervallic movement of the 3rd, 6th and 7th- changing from a natural to a flat in this context is very effective and pleasing to the ear.

Harmonic ideas:

I have used a variety of extended major/minor and dominant chords (7ths,9ths)- most of which utilize Drop 2 and Drop 3 voicings- again, a very common voicing used by Neo soul artists such as Melanie Faye and Kazuki Isogai. The large span of intervals and octaves contained within these chords allow for the absence of a bass guitar, due to the thumb playing the bass notes. This is certainly a technique I have acquired from listening to the aforementioned artists. Moreover, adding percussive elements via slapping the strings with my thumb and palm is another example of their influence in my playing. Pull offs, Hammer ons, vibrato, legato and finger/hybrid picking are more examples of techniques I use in this track. Legato and vibrato help to make my melody lines emulate a vocal line, giving it some personality.

Technical/production techniques:

Firstly, I have double tracked the keyboard for the intro, panning left 100% and right 100%, adding a fader as they enter the mix. This technique creates a large, stereo-like effect- combined with a stretched chord voicing, this creates warmth and the sense of fullness. I set the volume of the keys to -4.5db so that they would allow the guitar to cut through them. In the EQ, I have increased the bass and air frequencies (this is where the warmth derives from) and slightly decreased the mids as this is where the guitar will enter. Compression has been applied, using a slow attack time and fast release, thus creating a natural sound.

I used the clean amp tone from Neural DSP- ‘Archetype: Plini’ for all sections of the track asides from the chorus, using reverb (space knob turned to almost maximum), compression and EQ- settings are seen below. After playing the track without EQ, I felt as if the bass, due to the nature of the chord voicings, was slightly overbearing, therefore I decided to lower the 65-125k frequencies. Furthermore, I wanted to make the tone sound distant so I also lowered the 4k-8k frequencies- making the track sound darker. However, after adding reverb, this created a very classic Neo soul tone.

The rhythm section for the chorus adds an extra compressor and EQ VST to help increase the volume of the fingerpicking; without extra compression, the bass tones were too overwhelming, drowning out the higher notes. The compressor settings consist of a low ratio, slow attack, but fast release time, medium Knee and a subtle boost to the makeup gain- these settings made the compression feel natural, whilst still controlling any spiky transients. A separate EQ was introduced to eliminate a fuzzing sound around the 3-5k frequencies (4.1k) (High shelf).

For the lead section of the chorus, I have used a clean amp from Neural DSP- ‘Archetype: Tim Henson’ with a boost, compressor, chorus and reverb pedal, alongside some EQ. These effects help to separate the lead from the rhythm as the sound is boosted and has more sustain. A separate EQ is used again to eliminate fuzzing sounds around the 4-5k frequencies (4.4k) (High shelf).

Alternative Edit:

For the alternative edit (aka Live) I am playing the same track, however omitting a chord from the chorus and embellishments from verse 1 of the original song. Furthermore, no keyboard or lead section is present and some chords are not arpeggiated in the same way. In verse 1, I have added a walking bass line of chromatic notes before playing the Gm7/Bb. Additionally, the pre chorus and outro have been extended to 12 and 16 bars respectively making this version 52 bars in total. The outro differs slightly by incorporating an ascending run after the descending run- I do this by adding extra dominant and minor 9 chords, before resolving to a Bb Major 7/F. The tremolo arm is also used in this version to give extra vibrato to chords. Overall, the alternative edit has less lead playing and embellishments, but more space between chords, thus conveying an even calmer vibe than the original track.

In terms of production techniques, the live version is more limited as I’m only playing one track of the guitar, no extra fills or instruments. I am using the ‘acoustic clean’ preset on the ‘STL Tonality: Andy James’ plugin, alongside a compressor, EQ and a new reverb pedal (‘lopass’ filter set to maximum). Personally, I feel as if this reverb pedal is even more spacious than the one used in the original track; it has more sustain. The compressor has a slightly faster attack time (7.2ms), but a much longer release time (100ms) resulting in a very natural sound, allowing considerably more dynamic range than the original track- I feel that this is more appropriate for a live environment. The EQ cuts out all frequencies over 2.6k (high shelf), removing all upper mids and preventing the guitars from having too much bite.

[iconoclast-infidels]

"Eh. You might." He said in some attempt to keep it light about her possibly laughing at him.

Try her? He looked over at his guitar considering as she went on.

She described things as complicated but still offered no real explanation into her life. He really liked this girl. There was this part of his head that got amped up and excited when she showed up, but it moments like that he felt pushed away. Considering everything she'd seen and was privy to in his life no one else was it could be pretty frustrating. The vagueness had a way of leaving him with no real way to offer help or advice. It made him feel a little useless and rejected even as he was getting the mixed signals of the promise to hit him up if she moved closer. It wasn't anything unfamiliar either. Considering how many foster kids came through that house he'd met a lot of walled up people.

He let it go though. He let it go because like the kids he'd met over and over he knew better than to push. He liked to push people's buttons too. But even at this age Nico somehow understood if he pushed here, it might not turn out in his favor. It wasn't a big thought process. He just felt the resistance and didn't push back.

He plucked at the e string while the guitar still laid flat on the bed. "I don't know. I've just been me."

He moved his shoulders up and down and rolled them still sore from his last wings out. He had a feeling she might understand the motion. "Eh... It's still not easy. I'm messy. It hurts a lot. Bille got upset the first time she saw. She thought the pseudos were beating on me. She was ready to retaliate. I had to tell her I did it to myself at first... it was just a... stupid. I mean at least she cares." Then he started to realize how easy it was to open up to her again. It always started to just fall out of his mouth. It felt disheartening after realizing how vague she just was with him.

He slowed down. He cut himself off from storytelling and picked up his guitar instead. "I don't know. School sucks. I hate it there."

It felt true without dumping everything on her. "I hate talking."

Lie.

He hated talking when he felt exposed.

She said try her though. Try her. It was hard for Nico to back down from a challenge at that age. He was a little upset at her for being vague and his fingers kept playing over the neck.

"Fuck it. If I play you this and you laugh, I'm never trusting you again."

He'd get up and pick up a holder for his harp to prop up on his neck. Then he pinched the right key harmonica in it. He kept looking up at her. He never played these for people. These were the bedroom wall songs.

"It's about a dream I had." He wrung out his hands. He was really stalling on this one. He hadn't quite gained all that just do it energy Nico had when he was older.

Then he'd play. It started out, "I was a little boy-" He'd play the slowest most sullen song with a light whimsical feel, quite dreamy. The surrealness of his how he experienced the dream was conveyed in the music. He was right too. It wasn't like his other music. It wasn't written with his friends from Charity Case, Billie, or his teen angst that usually fought through. It was also a song he'd never play for Billie. She'd make fun of him for praying in the first place, not that he could admit that out loud to her anyway.

The emo boy rocking out to Nirvana was in there writing songs of his beautiful death after a life lived well. He was having such a hard time in life and sometimes it didn't come out in screaming metal mad about it. It came out like God spoke to him in his dreams telling him everything was going to be okay. Luka was the only one now that would ever now that.

That much feeling probably shouldn't be held in one teenage boy. But it was there and he wrote it after yet another night of getting in trouble for his clothes going missing because he didn't want the fosters to find his bloody shirts and worry. He'd rather get in trouble for disrespecting their money and what he's been given as they always lecture. He was starting to memorize their words. He was always guilty of crimes he didn't mean to commit.

Everything felt too quiet when he finished. All he could do to not fidget was reach for the weed.

She initially hoped he wouldn't ask, that he'd let it slide, but as soon as she saw that look on him, Luka knew there was no avoiding the question. When Nico had questions, he asked, sure as the ocean is deep. What she didn't have was an answer for him. She shrugged about Kurt, though. "A legend with a gun." What people thought versus what it actually felt like... that was a topic for another moment. Not today.

Nico struggling while not actually explaining about the music managed to get a smile from her. She loved Nico's music, not just because it was Nico's, but also because it was actually good. He didn't really need the band to write good stuff, and Billie... He didn't need Billie either. Nico could've been a legend all on his own, if he really wanted to. Fame wasn't Nico's thing, though, and she knew that too.

He eventually did ask the question she was expecting he would. She let him come closer, feeling comforted by that, and spoke quietly, not with the intention of getting his attention, but knowing that would be the effect regardless. "I wouldn't laugh at you, by the way. About the music, I mean. Try me. But yeah, I'm not feeling great. I suppose you could say things are complicated lately. I figured if I stepped away from all that, it might help me figure things out, but... I don't know. Not so sure anymore."

"How have you been?" She asked, attempting to not have to delve too deep into the topic. It was a sincere question, though; she didn't know how he'd been dealing with the whole half-demon thing. Did he know that that's what he was? Had he used his wings since that day he met her? Did he know of any powers he had? How was the Hell Radio? She had a ton of questions she wanted to ask that she couldn't voice in such precise terms. It was up to Nico, really.

[kimberly40]

🔥 Talking out the fire is where a person has the ability to take a person’s pain away by reciting a prayer over a severe burn. Fire Talking, along with blood stopping, and removing warts still exists in the South today.

To heal a burn victim, fire talkers generally chant a verse, often from the Bible. At the same time, they may make rubbing motions or gently blow on the burn. They might also coat it with alcohol, axle grease, lard or spit. According to many burn victims, the pain disappears soon afterward, and the burn heals without leaving scars.

Since ancient times, certain people have practiced healing simply by using touch and speech. Why it works is a matter of opinion. Some believe the healing power lies in the ancient knowledge. Others say it comes from the healers themselves or the faith of the patients. Many doctors take the view that healers create a kind of hypnotic state, triggering the body’s own healing powers. Nearly all healers say God is the source of their power, which is why they don’t accept payment or advertise. People learn about them by word of mouth.

Blood stoppers repeat a Bible verse, usually Ezekiel 16:6, when performing a cure. Hand motions over the wound may accompany the verse. According to some accounts, these healers do not have to be with the patient to stop the bleeding. And they can treat wounded animals as well as people. According to an anonymous resident of Durham County, oral charms used to cure warts can be prayers, questions or even nonsense syllables such as the following: To remove warts, rub them gently and repeat the following words..

‘Anna, mana meno mike,

Paro lono, bono, strike,

Mar-e, war-e, wallow-wack.’

These healers have several different versions of how the tradition can be passed on. Some say you can only teach it to an unrelated person of the opposite sex. Others say they themselves learned the practice from a family member of the same sex. And some believe that once you’ve taught the skill to someone else, you can no longer perform it yourself.

You can read more about this at https://unmaskedhistory.com/2019/09/29/folklife-the-faith-healing-tradition-of-talking-out-the-fire/amp/.

[belle-et-inspirante]

Recherche de Dernière Minute Assistance le Saint-Valentin ?

Recherche de Dernière Minute Assistance le Saint-Valentin ?

Dieu merci, nous habitons l’âge de technologies – donc si vous oublié créer idées pour la la Saint-Valentin (et malheureusement il lieux un samedi en 2010) – vous voudrez regarder l ‘application store pour help.

Si vous cherchez un cadeau ou une crédit de dernière minute, en voici apps essayer:

Cartes de tampon rouge – require un Saint-Valentin card rapidement? Snap une image et vous pouvez rapidement faire un original credit en fonction de votre Saint-Valentin à cause de cela gratuit application. Notes est généralement tweeté, envoyé par SMS, envoyé par e-mail ou posté sur Instagram et Facebook.

BloomThat – au cas où vous auriez oublié de acheter fleurs tandis que le régional magasin d’alimentation option apparaît juste un peu épuisé, ce app vous permettra de off une dernière minute problème. (et en plus ils peuvent livrer leur fabriqués à la main|arrangements} via bike in under 90 moments, par opposition à fleuristes où vous trouverez une livraison fenêtre.) Pour new iphone 4 users only.

Ibotta – Saint-Valentin vient d’être juste un peu moins cher qui inclut l’aide de cette logiciel. Il comprend tous V-Day convenable cadeaux, comme chocolates, sweets, champagne, motion picture pass et cafe repas offres. Il y a beaucoup de variété, aussi avec 200 dans le plus grand magasins dans plus de 100 000 lieux national jouer ce rabais système – afin que vous puissiez acheter et placer money back intérieur portefeuille.

Pour certains jour quelques idées, vous pouvez envisager ces applications:

Saint-Valentin repas – précisément pourquoi blesse ton portefeuille chez un chic cafe quand c’est beaucoup plus passionné à préparer pour chaque différent? Cette application fournit presque 140 Saint-Valentin plats pour deux, y compris instructions faciles à suivre et images (afin de voir exactement ce que il doit ressembler à). Un incroyable stratégie impress le heure, peut-être le débutant cuisinier.

Machines à sous de admiration – Romance Tactiques & amp; guidelines – Need some tactics cette Saint-Valentin? Avec les Slots de really love vous pouvez soit utiliser le slot machine de au hasard conseiller une notion ou vous pouvez rechercher idées pour lui avec elle. De plus, toutes les tactiques sont classées par sexe, temps et dépense – rendant la traiter cette beaucoup plus simple.

Table8 – Si vous voulez impressionner sa quand tu manges pendant le plus chaud bistro en ville (mais ne pouvait pas obtenir une réservation), vérifier ceci app . Table8 peut vous dans un éminent bistro au toute dernière minute pendant pic plusieurs heures (et fois) – ce dont vous avez besoin exécuter est réserver via le application et payer leur cost, autant que 30 $ selon bistro, pour l ‘accessibilité VIP.

Uber ou Lyft – quand vous-même n’avez pas essayé l’un d’eux véhicule solutions, vous vraiment manquer. Uber et Lyft offrent vols pour d’une partie de des taxi. The like V-Day, sors et se réjouit de par opposition à s’inquiéter de tout ce qui concerne transport.

ce guide

un nuovo post è stato publicato su https://online-wine-shop.com/recherche-de-derniere-minute-assistance-le-saint-valentin/

[mantruffles]

Recherche de Dernière Minute Assistance le Saint-Valentin ?

Recherche de Dernière Minute Assistance le Saint-Valentin ?

Dieu merci, nous habitons l’âge de technologies – donc si vous oublié créer idées pour la la Saint-Valentin (et malheureusement il lieux un samedi en 2010) – vous voudrez regarder l ‘application store pour help.

Si vous cherchez un cadeau ou une crédit de dernière minute, en voici apps essayer:

Cartes de tampon rouge – require un Saint-Valentin card rapidement? Snap une image et vous pouvez rapidement faire un original credit en fonction de votre Saint-Valentin à cause de cela gratuit application. Notes est généralement tweeté, envoyé par SMS, envoyé par e-mail ou posté sur Instagram et Facebook.

BloomThat – au cas où vous auriez oublié de acheter fleurs tandis que le régional magasin d’alimentation option apparaît juste un peu épuisé, ce app vous permettra de off une dernière minute problème. (et en plus ils peuvent livrer leur fabriqués à la main|arrangements} via bike in under 90 moments, par opposition à fleuristes où vous trouverez une livraison fenêtre.) Pour new iphone 4 users only.

Ibotta – Saint-Valentin vient d’être juste un peu moins cher qui inclut l’aide de cette logiciel. Il comprend tous V-Day convenable cadeaux, comme chocolates, sweets, champagne, motion picture pass et cafe repas offres. Il y a beaucoup de variété, aussi avec 200 dans le plus grand magasins dans plus de 100 000 lieux national jouer ce rabais système – afin que vous puissiez acheter et placer money back intérieur portefeuille.

Pour certains jour quelques idées, vous pouvez envisager ces applications:

Saint-Valentin repas – précisément pourquoi blesse ton portefeuille chez un chic cafe quand c’est beaucoup plus passionné à préparer pour chaque différent? Cette application fournit presque 140 Saint-Valentin plats pour deux, y compris instructions faciles à suivre et images (afin de voir exactement ce que il doit ressembler à). Un incroyable stratégie impress le heure, peut-être le débutant cuisinier.

Machines à sous de admiration – Romance Tactiques & amp; guidelines – Need some tactics cette Saint-Valentin? Avec les Slots de really love vous pouvez soit utiliser le slot machine de au hasard conseiller une notion ou vous pouvez rechercher idées pour lui avec elle. De plus, toutes les tactiques sont classées par sexe, temps et dépense – rendant la traiter cette beaucoup plus simple.

Table8 – Si vous voulez impressionner sa quand tu manges pendant le plus chaud bistro en ville (mais ne pouvait pas obtenir une réservation), vérifier ceci app . Table8 peut vous dans un éminent bistro au toute dernière minute pendant pic plusieurs heures (et fois) – ce dont vous avez besoin exécuter est réserver via le application et payer leur cost, autant que 30 $ selon bistro, pour l ‘accessibilité VIP.

Uber ou Lyft – quand vous-même n’avez pas essayé l’un d’eux véhicule solutions, vous vraiment manquer. Uber et Lyft offrent vols pour d’une partie de des taxi. The like V-Day, sors et se réjouit de par opposition à s’inquiéter de tout ce qui concerne transport.

ce guide

leggi tutto https://online-wine-shop.com/recherche-de-derniere-minute-assistance-le-saint-valentin/

[blissful-moontrip]

Recherche de Dernière Minute Assistance le Saint-Valentin ?

Recherche de Dernière Minute Assistance le Saint-Valentin ?

Dieu merci, nous habitons l’âge de technologies – donc si vous oublié créer idées pour la la Saint-Valentin (et malheureusement il lieux un samedi en 2010) – vous voudrez regarder l ‘application store pour help.

Si vous cherchez un cadeau ou une crédit de dernière minute, en voici apps essayer:

Cartes de tampon rouge – require un Saint-Valentin card rapidement? Snap une image et vous pouvez rapidement faire un original credit en fonction de votre Saint-Valentin à cause de cela gratuit application. Notes est généralement tweeté, envoyé par SMS, envoyé par e-mail ou posté sur Instagram et Facebook.

BloomThat – au cas où vous auriez oublié de acheter fleurs tandis que le régional magasin d’alimentation option apparaît juste un peu épuisé, ce app vous permettra de off une dernière minute problème. (et en plus ils peuvent livrer leur fabriqués à la main|arrangements} via bike in under 90 moments, par opposition à fleuristes où vous trouverez une livraison fenêtre.) Pour new iphone 4 users only.

Ibotta – Saint-Valentin vient d’être juste un peu moins cher qui inclut l’aide de cette logiciel. Il comprend tous V-Day convenable cadeaux, comme chocolates, sweets, champagne, motion picture pass et cafe repas offres. Il y a beaucoup de variété, aussi avec 200 dans le plus grand magasins dans plus de 100 000 lieux national jouer ce rabais système – afin que vous puissiez acheter et placer money back intérieur portefeuille.

Pour certains jour quelques idées, vous pouvez envisager ces applications:

Saint-Valentin repas – précisément pourquoi blesse ton portefeuille chez un chic cafe quand c’est beaucoup plus passionné à préparer pour chaque différent? Cette application fournit presque 140 Saint-Valentin plats pour deux, y compris instructions faciles à suivre et images (afin de voir exactement ce que il doit ressembler à). Un incroyable stratégie impress le heure, peut-être le débutant cuisinier.

Machines à sous de admiration – Romance Tactiques & amp; guidelines – Need some tactics cette Saint-Valentin? Avec les Slots de really love vous pouvez soit utiliser le slot machine de au hasard conseiller une notion ou vous pouvez rechercher idées pour lui avec elle. De plus, toutes les tactiques sont classées par sexe, temps et dépense – rendant la traiter cette beaucoup plus simple.

Table8 – Si vous voulez impressionner sa quand tu manges pendant le plus chaud bistro en ville (mais ne pouvait pas obtenir une réservation), vérifier ceci app . Table8 peut vous dans un éminent bistro au toute dernière minute pendant pic plusieurs heures (et fois) – ce dont vous avez besoin exécuter est réserver via le application et payer leur cost, autant que 30 $ selon bistro, pour l ‘accessibilité VIP.

Uber ou Lyft – quand vous-même n’avez pas essayé l’un d’eux véhicule solutions, vous vraiment manquer. Uber et Lyft offrent vols pour d’une partie de des taxi. The like V-Day, sors et se réjouit de par opposition à s’inquiéter de tout ce qui concerne transport.

ce guide

un nuovo post è stato publicato su https://online-wine-shop.com/recherche-de-derniere-minute-assistance-le-saint-valentin/