#Most of the references I've found aren't clear enough for me to tell - I'm pretty sure Imelda has gold accents on her cheekbones

[colourful-void]

THANK YOU FOR ASKING @theluckoftheclaws BCS ITS INFODUMP TIME

Let's talk about some things I've noticed about Nemona's family in scarlet (and violet)!

(in case the tags didnt get cha, some spoilers ahead!)

I'm still going through every line of sv dialouge and all, but so far there's been a lot of things I've noticed about Nemona relating to her family that I didn't notice before!

In the opening of the game, Clavell gives you your paperwork and apologixes profusly for it being late, and your late enrollment as a result. Thus, it is established that school has already started, and while it's not far in, it is out of the norm that player is at their house, and not at school. Clavell refers to it as a failure.

Nemona is also at her house and not at school. Nemona, despite being the student council and very much enrolled already, is at home.

In fact, Clavell specifically states that he's going to Nemona's house as part of home visits he's doing. He's there to visit Nemona's house.

More specfically, he states " I do still have a few matters to discuss with [her] parents.”

Nemona gives no reaction to this statement positive or negative, as the topic is quickly changed thereafter.

And sure enough, Clavell can be found in Nemona's house after this dialouge, where he stares out the back window and encourages you to head to school safetly.

but the thing is, Nemona's parents aren't home. They're never home, as far as I can tell throughout the game. a Maid within apologizes for this.

none of the house staff talk about nemona at all, nor her older sister who she mentions in area zero. of the 4 of them, one talks to how the "master and mistress are away at present' and the remaining three have various lines about keeping the house clean

it's also of note that nemona's dorm room is Remarkably clean, and I mean this in that the dialouge within her room cutscene AND the flavour text for it in the room selection area in the school bring up how tidy it is. put this in comparison to how penny's text references it's clutter and arven's how much cooking equipment there is, this puts nemona's cleanliness on equal footing as something that should be Notable and Clear

Of the lines I've purposefully gone and studied, those ones above are the ones i've got, so below are some more general thoughts

Nemona's dialouge, mannerisms, etc, are not befitting of a typical 'rich girl' character and suggests a sense of distance between her and how she was raised. she also specfically states that she doesn't like people thinking her skills in battling come from being raised that way

However, Nemona also views her family as "normal". SHe doesn't talk about them much (it's PENNY who brings up Nemona's father on the rotom phone board), and has a pretty nonchalant air of everything. This is like, typical of people with genuinely normal families, but we also know that like, big rich houses like that are NOT normal, and that Nemona doesn't have the worlds best mental ideal of normallacy.

Nemona views most of her battle obsession as a natural progression of her interest in it ("you know how when you get into something you REALLY get into it? that's what happened with me and pokemon battling and I kinda became a champion?" type dialouge from the ending), when we know that's something that would be considered OUTSIDE the norm. that's all very neurodivergent coded but that's not super important rn

so it's not a huge stretch to say that other things nemona thinks are normal may not be as much as she thinks.

speaking of, let's head to area zero for another notable dialouge line from nemona

after witnessing the conflict between the two 'Raidon's, when Nemona sees how upset your 'Raidon is, she asks if it's upset it's "heartwarming family reunion got cut off so quickly?", despite it being an obvious conflict.

it's actually penny, who reacts to this, telling her there was nothing heartwarming about it.

SO then, is that what a 'heartwarming family reunion' looks like to nemona? we know the problem isn't that nemona can't read emotions, or read pokemon emotions, because she said that specfically in reference to the 'Raidon being upset.

I think i'll talk more on this when i review more of the dialouge, but so far all of this comes together to create a very interesting picture

Nemona as a character has a lot of just. mild but interesting questios around her that aren't super obvious, but I'd love to get the answers to. In a game so focused on family, that goes out of it's way to MAKE a house for Nemona, to actually create it's interior and give the npc's in it dialouge, it begins to feel like there's pieces of a puzzle regarding Nemona's family to put together in someway.

The exact details of who Nemona's family members are, how they treat her and each other, what Nemona's life was like growing up and how it led her to act they way she does now aren't known. However, with the current state of the story, it's exciting to find these little details the devlopers have left for us, and i hope to learn more about Nemona's family in future SV media! if anyone else has thoughts on Nemona and her family, Nemona's character in general, etc, I'd love to hear them in reblogs or replies or dm's or whatever!

my investigating w/ her dialogue continues!

[sysig]

Lindos esqueletos ♥ (Patreon)

[lovee-infected]

twisted wonderland theories part 3 : Opening explanation and parallels

Well well , hope you guys enjoyed reading the previous two parts of twst theories so far

Anyways , this is the third part . I decided to go through the opening and original disney animations and also black Butler anime references one more time so this is the combination of all I've found this time , together with some stuff you might've missed

Twst's official opening was pretty mysterious and is most likely giving us hints of the upcoming adventures during the storyline . Well here's the link to opening with eng sub and also the summary of the main character references that were given to us:

1) Ace and Deuce's rivalship : We talked about this one a lot back in (part 2) so let's skip this one

2) Leona's sadness and pain : Leona's tearn falling to the ground and the Ruggie and Jack coming for him ; that's just how he always is : mentally sad and broken with a horribly frustrating past , but will avoid expressing himself and letting anyone see his pain anyway . Not really weird that these two are always around him , Leona does really need to be looked after ...

3) Azul's seek of power : He just looked...mad in this scene . Ursula's shadow on his fave and that creepy smile totally freaks anyone out. It really explains how great his desire of power is . His neglected self in the childhood and pretty poor talent got him to this point...

4) Jamil's cold and kinda confused self : Well this one isn't really clear yet since ch 4 isn't out . But perhaps depression has this guy... spending his whole life serving the the nasty Kalim he might've grown the same characteristics as Jafar , who was so long sick of being the second one in everything . But still his ideal of life is much different from Jafar's . We saw him hypnotizing Kalim in order to make him force students to do better at school . He's trying his best to leave up to his promises as the vice dorm leader but still , having the nasty Kalim as the dorm itself is making it a lot harder for him so he's got no choice but to hypnotize him...

5) Idia's severe anxiety and his protectiveness toward Ortho : This one was mentioned in s rather old re blog but here e go again : Well with how the rumors of the "cursed Shroud family" , Idia's anti-society self might be a bit explained . This guy's overblot is surely going to be EPIC ... we just know very few about him and yet that's more than enough for him to overblot at once . Also the mention of the process of bringing Ortho back to life was a bad hit...His family curse might've been the reason of whatever thst has happened to Ortho

6) Vil's anger of not being the fairest and breaking the mirror: This one's been pointed out a lot . His anger being the same as evil queen's and also the fear of him actually poisoning someone to become the fairest one more time....**

7) Malleus' isolated self and his hidden evil aura : This one's being shown too obviously . The lonely dark prince exposing his evil side under the full moonlight . All alone , beyond the forest of thorns (Lol how ironic) while the others are running to save him before it gets too late...***

(note : **,***: Vil and Malleus' description will be continued undercut)

Very well these were the general hints found on the opening , but don't miss the final seconds which included the biggest hidden facts you could've missed

Firstly , the splitted ink (This one was previously discussed on part 1 but still...) : We talked about how in the "Epic Mickey", Mickey accidentally splits the magic ink over the kingdom and which led to the creation of "shadow blot". This sight seems to be much similar to what we had here in the epic mickey

Well this parallel might be more than just an accidental one and finally and it might actually be that overblot is kinda Crowley's fault , too

Crowley crosses the mirror , turns into an actual crow and flies away...(DaMn YoU bIrDiE wHERe ArE yOu gOinG I'M noT doNe YeT-)

Well the reason he suddenly runs away isn't clear yet but being a fan of black butler for years , I was suddenly reminded of how Undertaker disappeared all of a sudden at this scene from the movie :" Book of Atlantic "

pretty similar , aren't they..?

In Book of Atlantic , Undertaker revealed his original identity as a reaper and the mastermind behind the "Bizzare dolls' " project after pretending to be a just a crazy cookie lover for so long . And at once , he comes up with his stunning sudden self-reveal , leaving everyone in the room speechless

Now now , what do we have with Crowley?

A principal who keeps hiding his face (remember that Undertaker hid his eyes , too?) , telling everyone "how kind he is" many times ... also:

1) In the opening , he was standing smiling in the mirror hall while the seven dorms were burning through seven mirrors

2) He didn't ever try to stop anyone from overbloting ; even Riddle whose overblot occurred right in front of him

3) In the beggining of the game, he asked the mirror to choose the right one and then! and MC was chosen ! MC took the hand of the one appearing through the mirror (seemingly Dire Crowley) and came here. With all said , so why did the mirror reject MC afterwards?

Also , how couldn't he help MC return to Their own world and didn't know about it if he himself brought MC here..?(Could it be that...MC doesn't remember how she/he was brought here?)

4) If he literally is THIS useless and can't ever stop or help anything, then why would he be the principal.....?

Sooooo enough with Crowley ; but what's with these two....?

The spindle wheel & the poison apple ; Sleeping beauty and Snow white

Well it seems that Diasomnia and Pomefiore are going to play a greatly important role in the storyline . We were kinda sure of Diasomnia's but Pomefiore's...? What's so special with it?

(A few hours earlier)

(Me : Hmmm ... the black mirror...where have I seen this before..? *googling - searching Snow White- going to the magic mirror scene* Me : Uh...)

Well... here it is : The Crowley's beloved flower of evil , back at his days with evil queen

feeling old yet ...?

Btw , just how important is being "the fairest one of all "to him ? How 'far' would he go to be the fairest...? With the bitten apple in the last few seconds of opening , it most likely seems that he IS gonna 'kill' to be the fairest again ...Who would he kill ? We don't know . But how about our pretty small guy Epel? Could it be him ? The stubborn freshman who refuses following Vil around and is usually mistaken with a girl......?

Also , why would the original mirror be so important to Crowley? If Vil's supposed to represent evil queen , why isn't 'he' the one owing the mirror...?

And now , the spindle wheel .Great maleficent's legacy , in the hands of Crowley...Well well this is 'too' much . Malleus' family treasure being kept hidden in NRC... pathetic

Also , the mirror which Vil broke in the opening . Well well seems like he isn't having the original magic mirror , afterall....

But wait , if there's the spindle wheel , who's gonna be the evil witch to pull the sweet princess to eternal sleep..? Right , there's only one who might be...

Well we talked about all we'd got so far , but what about Grim ? Isn't anyone going to mention his importance or why he was also mentioned in this chaotic final seconds of opening ???

So... this is what we had in the final seconds :

1)The apple

2) Crowley

3)The black ink

4)Grim

5)The spindle wheel

We talked about all of them except nu 4 . But before that , I've got the same question as before : Why is it "Sleeping beauty" & "Snow white"..?

We discussed the "overblot Grim " hints in (part 2), but here's another thing :

Very well , ever heard of "Grimm brothers"...?

In the case that you don't know who they are , here' the point : They are the authors of 'original' versions of sleeping beauty & snow white; two of the darkest , deepest and possibly creepiest stories of their own throughout the history

I believe that most of you are familiar with the original versions , but you may like to take a look at these two if you haven't yet heard of them check the two of these stories out : (note: I'm aware that there are darker , deeper versions of these too but I'm not gonna mention any of them because : 1)They aren't written by Grimm brothers & 2) They include overly sensual and inappropriate content which has no place in my posts . If you care to know about them , check them at your own risk)

Alright , if you ever wondered who was Grim named after , I guess we've got it now . Mentioning Grim , Snow white and Sleeping beauty together at once is too direct to be a coincidence ...but it's also terrifying ...

Thinking that Disney is actually referring to the original books written by Grimm brothers is a bit too dark... Original stories are really horrible and a great way to ruin one's childhood , but all these hints fit each other way too great and now , they may no longer be just a coincidence...

[spicycreativity]

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 1

Chapter: 1/12 Rating: T (for language) Content Warnings: Canon-typical Remus content. This chapter only: alcohol use Characters: All Pairings: Moceit, background Prinxiety, background Intrulogical (yes I played a little game of "pair the spares") Additional Tags: Hey it's the fic I published on Anon because I was embarrassed of how utterly pretentious it is!, post-PoF, sickfic, dirty poetry, humor interspersed with philosophy and Janus-typical pontification, this is VERY speculative and will get Jossed in the future lmao Summary: After claiming his place in the Light and coming face-to-face with the consequences of his actions, Janus finds himself unwillingly re-calibrating his moral compass. For selfish reasons, of course. But one apology snowballs into several, and soon he's running around the Mindscape with a low-grade fever and a guilty conscience as he desperately tries to regain some sense of self. Oh, and he's definitely not falling in love with Patton, so don't even bring it up. One Last Note: I wrote this in an ADHD fugue state. It is HEAVILY influenced by Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment, but there are also references to poetry and various other works of literature. I also deliberately used symbols, themes, and motifs. Most of them are pretty in your face except for the recurring ouroboros, which is used as a symbol of rebirth. ...Told you it was pretentious.

When you wake up to the promise of your dream world comin' true With one less friend to call on, was it someone that I knew? Away you will go sailing in a race among the ruins If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon

Janus appeared in the Dark side of the Mindscape, elation swelling in his chest. Even the ringing headache and bitter taste in his mouth couldn't hollow the unfamiliar triumph that warmed him to the core. Caught up in his own thoughts, it took a moment for him to register the sight before him: Remus, upside-down on the couch, his brow furrowed and face an alarming shade of purple.

For a moment, Janus stood stock-still as he tried to get his bearings. He must have been more flustered than he'd realized-- He'd been aiming for his bedroom.

But here he was, staring down at Remus, who was definitely going to burst a blood vessel (or several) if he didn't flip over soon.

"That's not horrifying at all," Janus said, thinking it would be rude to dismiss Remus, especially since he had probably been eavesdropping. He had likely heard everything. Everything. Even the ugly parts.

"Do you remember when Thomas read that post about Nutty Putty Cave?" Remus asked in a strained, strangled voice. "That spelunker who died because he got stuck upside-down?"

"No," Janus said, before realizing his mistake. "Yes." He definitely wanted Remus to remind him of the gory details.

"That's what I thought," Remus said with a wicked grin.

Janus sighed through his nose. Remus, though he thrived on attention, seemed content enough to continue his experiment by himself. On the other hand, if Janus didn't bring up a certain insult he'd levied at Roman, Remus most certainly would, and at a time where it would cause the most upset and turmoil. Better for Janus to deal with it now, even if he would have to fight the tension pulling his muscles taut. He wanted to dance. He wanted to scream.

Hesitation proved to be Janus' downfall, and by the time he'd opened his mouth to broach the subject at hand, Remus had beaten him to the blow. "You're not usually this quiet, Oralboros. Snake got your tongue?"

Janus, again, sighed. Rather than answer, he doffed his hat, set it on the coffee table, and clumsily arranged himself upside-down next to Remus. The change in position immediately made his head throb. He ignored it. "I definitely meant it when I called you 'evil'."

Remus' eyes widened in faux-shock. "You called me evil ?" he shrieked, voice ringing out high and clear. "Me? How dare you. I'm an angel!"

At least Remus was taking it well. "Sarcasm is my thing," Janus said, realizing that he might make it out of this without having to properly apologize.

For some reason, Patton's face flashed into his mind, and a subsequent twinge of guilt made his tongue go sour. Fine. If there was ever a time to start telling uncomfortable truths… "But I am sorry I said that."

"Wow!" Remus laughed. "You must be upset." A red stain began to spill across his left eye. "You don't apologize."

"It’s not like I care about your feelings or anything." Janus would have liked to have drawn himself up to his full height, but it was impossible to do while upside-down. "As much as I'm enjoying watching your blood vessels slowly burst, would you please turn over before you hurt yourself? I've suffered enough psychological trauma for today."

"Oh, fine." Remus kicked his legs and landed neatly on his toes like a gymnast.

Janus, by contrast, got his arms tangled in his capelet and nearly folded himself in half before he found his balance again. "I meant to do that," he said, turning to grab his hat so Remus wouldn't see the blush on his face.

The sudden sensation of blood draining from his head made the room whirl. He steadied himself against Remus' shoulder until it slowed somewhat, but nothing could dampen the horrible ringing in his ears.

"Well," he said, adjusting his shirt. The sudden appearance of his conscience had taken the wind out of his sails more than he cared to admit, and all thoughts of dancing bled out of him along with a good deal of energy. "I'm not going to go scream into my pillows until I tire myself out."

"Being an agent of chaos is hard work," Remus said with a sage nod, "but that doesn't sound very relaxing, Mr Self Care."

"It's a form of meditation, if you think about it," Janus said.

Remus made a face. "You know I don't do that."

"...Meditate?"

"No, think."

"Ah. Well." Janus made only a token attempt to hide his fond smile. "Good night, Remus. Please stay up late and injure yourself."

"Can do, Snakeypoo.”

Janus turned. It was close enough, he might as well walk to his bedroom, especially considering how well his last attempt at appearing in it had gone.

The reason why that had been so difficult became apparent in mere moments. Janus froze in the hall and dropped to his knees at the giddy wave of horror and delight that made him too light-headed to stand.

He knelt in front of the empty stretch of wall where his door had been previously.  Heat flooded his face.

"Jay?" The rounded toes of Remus' boots appeared in his line of sight. Janus zeroed in on them, the mud splatters and stains on the soft leather. "You have an aneurysm or what?"

Janus, unable to speak, motioned for Remus to turn around. He couldn't deal with this right now.

"Ohhh," said Remus. "Well. Good luck with that ." He hauled Janus to his feet. "So you're a boner fide good guy now, huh?"

Janus stared over Remus' shoulder at the empty stretch of wall where his door used to be. "That depends entirely on who you ask."

Remus shrugged and rose up on his toes. "You can scream into my pillows instead, if you want."

"As tempting as that is…" Janus trailed off, his eyes still fixed on the wall. It was tempting, despite the constant chaos in Remus' room. But he'd have to face the Light side sooner or later. It wasn't like he could move his room back, not without psychologically damaging Thomas and undoing all the work he'd done. "I'm really looking forward to getting insulted some more."

"Alright," Remus said with a shrug. "Try not to throw me under the bus this time, alright? Unless it's a real bus…" His gaze became dreamy, unfocused. "And it's doing 50 in a school zone and there's a whole pack of screaming kids in the crosswalk--"

"Goodbye, Remus." Janus turned and left.

--

The barrier between the "dark" and the "light" sides of Thomas' brain had been a joint venture. It would have been there in some form no matter what, but it was Janus and Roman (with Patton's tacit blessing) who had worked to put up something more physical between them.

Janus ducked under the red curtain, trepidation percolating in his stomach, but what he found on the other side was anticlimactic to say the least: It was dead silent on this side of the barrier.

Janus wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. He knew by now that the so-called "Lights" had issues working out their interpersonal issues, and this most recent conflict wasn't the kind of thing you just got over. It did follow that they would all go off to lick their wounds for a time.

Hesitantly, toe-to-heel, Janus crept down the hall. It felt for all the world like he was sneaking around a vast hotel, right down to needlessly ornate design on the plush carpeting. That was probably Roman's doing.

Janus focused, trying to call the Mindscape to work for him. He wanted to go to his room.

The Mindscape listened. Janus turned a corner and found a row of doors stretching down yet another brightly-lit corridor. His eye was immediately drawn, not to the brilliant yellow of his own door, but to the figure huddled in front of it: Patton sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, forehead resting on his knees.

"Looking for someone?" Janus asked, slightly louder than necessary.

Patton jerked his head up. "Oh! Janus!" He plastered an unconvincing smile on his face. "You sure pop star-tled me."

Scaring Patton hadn't brought Janus nearly the level of schadenfreude he'd thought it would. He crossed his arms over his chest, extending a third to help Patton up. "Take your time getting to the point.”

"Oh." Patton accepted Janus' proffered hand and got to his feet. Warmth spilled from him, permeating the fabric of Janus' glove and gently heating his palm. "Well, it's just…" He took a deep breath. "I noticed your door and I thought-- Well, I wanted to make you feel welcome!"

A high-pitched tone resonated in Janus' skull. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing at the mounting pressure-pain-exhaustion in his temples. "Aren't you just a saint ." Patton's face fell. Janus fought the urge to swear aloud. He usually had a better handle on himself, and he knew better than to alienate potential allies. "I mean, thank you, Patton. Truly. I appreciate it." Patton had proven himself useful. Janus should at least cultivate that relationship, even if it meant a little discomfort.

"Have you eaten?" Patton asked. "It's a little late, but I could make something if you wanted." He paused. "Maybe we could play cards or something." Another pause. "O-only if you want to, I mean."

Janus let his face remain impassive even as he internally cringed at the idea of staying awake for even another second. It would be so easy to brush Patton off with a few honeyed words and disappear beyond the barrier of his door. But Patton had stood up for him today, or at least he'd tried to. Janus sighed. Quid pro quo. "That sounds like an utter waste of time."

"Are you… I'm sorry, sometimes I can't tell when you're…"

"Yes, Patton. That sounds lovely."

Patton actually hopped in place, an adorable little jig that absolutely didn't send a confusing little shockwave of fondness through Janus' ribcage. "Really?"

"Really," Janus lied.

He followed Patton down the hall into the living room, which opened into the dining room and the kitchen. Janus studied his surroundings, trying to take in as much as his exhausted faculties would allow. Even in the absence of other Sides, the living room felt warm and welcoming. All the lights were on, and they bathed everything in gentle golden light .

"You're awfully quiet," Patton said.

Janus shook himself. "I was just getting my bearings."

"I guess you've never really been over here, huh?" Pattton opened the refrigerator. Was he actually going to cook , instead of just manifesting something? How quaint. "Do you like grilled cheese?"

It had been a long, confusing day. Doublespeak came to Janus as naturally as breathing, but he was obviously running circles around Patton even when he wasn't trying to. "Yes," he said, hoping to telegraph his sincerity by not emoting at all.

It seemed to work. Patton studied him for a moment before turning back to the fridge. "Then that's what I'll make."

Janus took advantage of this temporary distraction to clamber onto one of the barstools. The slick velvet of his capelet tended to disagree with surfaces like wood and vinyl, and he needed a moment to arrange things so he didn't look as unbalanced as he felt.

He watched Patton work in the kitchen, a detached coolness washing out the scene. Quid pro quo, he reminded himself when he felt his facade begin to slip. He owed Patton this.

He certainly didn't feel the slightest twinge of guilt, that he had been the one to orchestrate this breakdown. Yes, the Light Sides had loaded the gun, but in the end it was Janus who had pulled the trigger.

He shook his head and thought about playing cards, good Bicycle playing cards with holes punched through them like they'd come from a casino. "What should we play?" he asked, pulling the deck from his breast pocket.

Patton looked up from the stovetop, his eyes flicking to the cards in Janus' hand. "Do you know Kings in the Corners?"

"Not personally, no."

Patton laughed, but there was something cold about it. "It's really simple," he said. "I'll show you how to play and you can tell me if you like it."

--

It was nearly impossible to cheat at Kings in the Corners. Janus doubted this had been a calculated measure on Patton's part, doubted he had the capacity for that kind of foresight, but he respected it just the same.

They played in funereal silence, staring each other down across the light wood of the dining room table. Janus, ill-inclined to take off his gloves, utilized a napkin to keep from staining them with melted butter from the grilled cheese Patton had made. Neither one of them smiled. Neither one of them spoke.

Janus pulled a card from the deck to indicate the end of his turn and glanced up at Patton. His face was somber, almost sorrowful, and it clashed against the gentle domesticity of the dining room, with its floral table runner and mismatched placemats.

Janus started to laugh.

"What is it?" Patton asked, cheeks darkening. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Janus swallowed down another peal of laughter and cleared his throat, unable to wholly restrain the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You look like I’m holding you here at gunpoint." It was somewhat ironic, considering Janus was the one who felt like he couldn't leave.

"What?" Patton smiled, but it was more akin to an offering than an expression of joy.

"It’s not really funny. " Janus wasn’t quite sure how to make Patton understand.

Patton sat back with a sigh, placing his cards facedown on the table. "But I guess it is pretty funny, huh? In a really sad way."

Janus almost asked what was sad about it before realizing that Patton probably missed his friends. Instead he said, "Yes" and stifled a yawn behind his free hand.

"I'll make coffee!" Patton leapt to his feet and was off to the kitchen before Janus could so much as blink.

The newfound solitude made it that much harder for Janus to ignore his headache, which had only worsened in the hour or so he'd been playing cards with Patton. Despite the nonchalant facade he'd tried so hard to project, he'd been holding himself tense.

Maybe the night (or morning, at this point) would be easier to tolerate if he had, say, a bit of gold rum.

The corner of a flask dug into Janus' hip. He smiled.

"Just how late are you planning on staying up?" he asked Patton when the latter returned holding two mismatched mugs.

"Oh, I don't know," Patton said. Lied. He set a mug down in front of Janus and then resumed his seat, the cards forgotten by his elbow. "I'm… A little scared of what tomorrow will be like."

Janus eased the flask out of his pocket. "Rum?"

"Oh, um," Patton said, staring at the flask. "I don't know…"

Janus raised an eyebrow, working something out. He landed on it a millisecond later: Patton wanted to be convinced. Easy enough. Janus opened the flask and poured what he hoped was a shot into his own mug. It was black, he noticed, except for the yellow snake that wrapped around it, its tail firmly in its own mouth. Ouroboros. "Surely you don't intend to make me drink alone?"

As Janus had expected, Patton buckled the second he was pushed. "I guess not."

It was funny, Janus mused as he carefully tipped rum into Patton's coffee, how lying was only off-limits when Janus suggested it. Hilarious.

But now wasn't the time for bitterness, now was the time to repay the debt he owed Patton. "Cheers," he said, pocketing the flask once more.

"Cheers."

Janus sipped his coffee. "You put milk in this," he observed.

Patton's smile was surprisingly sly. "I know you want me to think you take it black. Virgil did too, at first. I know you ‘Dark Sides’ have an image you like to uphold."

"And how does Virgil take his coffee now?" Janus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"With Snickers-flavored creamer."

"Well, I do take my coffee black," Janus lied.

Patton's smile never faltered. "We'll see, kid-- Uh, Janus."

"Patton," Janus said, before he could start thinking about the implications of Patton wanting to call him 'kiddo,' "you are planning on sleeping tonight, aren't you?"

"Maybe eventually," Patton said, suddenly unable to look Janus in the eye. "At some point."

"Tomorrow will come whether or not you sleep. It's definitely better to pull an all-nighter and feel like garbage instead of facing everything with a clear head."

"I know." Patton leaned forward so he could rest his head on his hand.

For a moment, Janus was tempted to mirror him. Sitting up straight was becoming quite the chore. "I know how the others love a calm, rational discussion."

"Oh, I wish." Patton's expression turned wistful.

Janus stifled a yawn behind his hand. He had half-expected the coffee to counteract the depressant effect of the alcohol, but all he had to show for the combination was a racing heart.

"I'll be fine out here if you want to go to bed," Patton said. Without seeming to realize he was doing it, he brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on his thumbnail.

It was a tempting offer. A day ago, Janus would have taken it. After all, it wasn't like he cared about Patton outside of professional courtesy. They weren't friends. But guilt nagged at him and wouldn't let him entertain the idea of abandoning Patton for longer than a second.

"That's a remarkable impression of a window," Janus said, waiting for Patton to look confused before elaborating, "I can see right through you."

"You got me." Patton smiled sadly. "That's something I've always admired about you, Janus."

Now it was Janus' turn to be confused. "What?"

"You're so… clever."

Janus narrowed his eyes. "Please do keep trying to change the subject."

"It's just… I don't want to have to lie there and, and think about today and everything I did wrong. I hurt Thomas. I hurt my friends." Patton's eyes were shiny behind his glasses; the unshed tears sparkled in the light when he locked eyes with Janus. "Aren't you going to think about the same thing?"

Anger flared, perhaps prematurely, in Janus' chest. "About what you did wrong today?"

"About what you did wrong," Patton said timidly.

"I," Janus said icily, "didn't do anything wrong." He stared Patton down across the table, jaw set, daring him to push back. Let him lecture and nag, let him prove that he hadn't changed no matter what he said.

But Patton only nodded, his face lined with misery. "Okay," he softly. "I think you're right, Janus. We should go to bed."

Janus thought about how much faster he could get to bed if the table was cleared, and all the dishes and cards vanished in a blink.

"Um, Janus?" Patton said.

"Yes?"

"I don't regret everything that happened today."

"Oh?"

Patton only nodded and sank out.

Janus made a beeline for his own room; better to find his way there on foot rather than risk appearing in the wrong spot.

Once inside, he looked around to ensure nothing was amiss, eyes roving over the dark wood of his bookshelves and desk, his mirrored closet doors, the leather armchairs across from his bed.

Everything was exactly as Janus had left it. He nodded, satisfied, set his hat on the nightstand, and sprawled out of top of the covers without bothering to further undress.

One hazy thought crawled to the surface of his mind before he fell asleep: At least he wouldn't be one of the regrets haunting Patton tonight.

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 1 for the first time. Random thoughts.

This show is kind of nice because I have no memories of the original She-Ra show, or even any of He-Man, honestly. I'm not sure if I ever watched the original, so I have no frame of reference for how the series is "supposed" to be. I can just take it and judge it as is.

Of the bat, all I know is that supposedly She-Ra and Catra get together as a romantic couple later, but I'm also a huge My Hero Academia fan and the fandom around me ships every character with every other character, so for all I know that might just be shipper wishful thinking I've been seeing and hearing. Given fandoms for Gravity Falls, Thor, and Supernatural ship even siblings together, I've learned not to trust anything except for what I see in the series for myself.

By the way, this isn't a review, just random thoughts and comments I'm having as I'm going through season 1 for the first time.

Episodes 1 and 2: Right off, I really like Catra's "No duh" response to Adora about the truth of the horde. She knows they've been lying to them and have been doing terrible things, she just doesn't care. If she and Adora play their cards right they could end up being the ones in charge and then they'd have all that power. Not necessarily to make things better but enough to where they could do whatever and live however they want. That's a good build for an antagonist. Not ignorant to the fact what they're doing is wrong, just simply so selfish that they don't care.

Episode 3: It really feels like there was no good reason why Glimmer didn't just outright introduce Adora to her mother and every reason she should have known it was a bad idea to try and hide her for a surprise. Being a former horde soldier she'd probably get treated with hostility if Glimmer brought her to the front gate but you'd almost guarantee Adora would get arrested or outright killed if she got caught while no one else knew she was there.

On the other side, we have Hordak being pretty intelligent in promoting Catra. He probably knows Shadow Weaver already doesn't like him, so it's not like he's losing anything making her upset with him, and it's clear she favors Adora way more than Catra, so that little bit of advancement towards Catra probably goes a long way in earning her loyalty to him and a person on the inside with Shadow Weaver.

Also, I'm not the only one who saw Madam Razz and immediately thought Adora had found her Yoda, right?

Episode 4: I don't know how it was in the original She-Ra and He-Man series but I kind of like She-Ra being this title from legend. Adora is not the first She-Ra, given what Razz was talking about with a Mara, so instead of being something new, impressing everyone with abilities they've never seen before, and creating the legend, Adora is placed in a position WAY over her head where she's having to live up to what came before her.

Episode 5: Calling it now, as long as her personality is genuine I think Scorpia is going to be one of my favorite characters in this show. She's...endearing, I think is the best word. She's like a mix of Kronk and a nicer Shego.

For a little bit I thought Mermista was voiced by the same actress who played Poison Ivy in the Harley Quinn animated series. She's not but they do have the same kind of Daria-ish inflections, thus by confusion. Given the prom episode, Sea Hawk feels kind of like her Kite Man.

Episode 6: Okay, now it's between Scorpia and Entrapta who are likely to be my favorites by the end of this. She's fun and quirky.

Episode 7: Quite the lore drop. Shadow Weaver was once a Mystacor sorceress known as Light Spinner. I like to imagine we'll get more on that later. Her haunting Adora reminded me of the Teen Titans' episode where Robin was similarly haunted by Slade. This didn't go as far as that but that's probably for the best, since TT had two and a half seasons to build that dynamic up with Robin and Slade while we're only now halfway through the first season.

Episode 8: Well dang. Again, I don't know for sure if Adora and Catra do end up together but boy do I buy why they're shipped together after that dance. Also, good on Bow for standing up for himself. It's clear that he'll always be Glimmer's friend and this won't change that but that doesn't mean he has to just accommodate her. I understand where her issues stem from but I am still glad he gave her a reality check. It helps him feel a little more like his own character.

Also, another nice little bit of lore and worldbuilding. Scorpia's a princess, the horde landed where her people lived, and they seemed to join them willingly.

Episode 9: Surprisingly don't have a lot to say about this other than I don't buy for a second that Entrapta is dead (EDIT: She's not). This was mostly action.

Episode 10: Not going to lie, this one kind of annoyed me a little, at least the first half. The conversation between Glimmer and her mother saved it a bit. It was a bit of a trifecta. You have the alliance breaking apart, saying that the loss of Entrapta only happened because they were all together...even though Entrapta only "died" because of her own machine obsession that caused her to deliberately walk back into the purging chamber. You have Entrapta who might be turning to the horde's side because she feels abandoned by the other princesses...even though they thought she was dead, and again it was her fault they got separated. And you have Glimmer refusing to tell her mother that Shadow Weaver's dark magic has caused her powers to go on the fritz and is causing her great pain. It just feels like none of this would be an issue if most of these people would stop being self-absorbed for three seconds and talk like any normal person would. It feels very CW drama, like something I'd see in a bad season of Arrow or The Flash. The only person whose issues I buy is Adora, who is basically a soldier who was never properly raised to deal with emotion or loss and is already struggling with the burden of being She-Ra, the legendary savior. I get why she's beating down on herself for not being able to do more even if nothing that happened was her fault.

Episode 11: JEEEEEEEEEZZZZ, that was such a good episode! Focused entirely on Adora and Catra and their past together. Like, just showing someone this episode alone could probably get them to want to watch the series. That was everything you needed to know about their dynamic and history together.

Also, that moment when Catra and her past self are looking at each other, while obviously Catra takes the opposite lesson, it reminded me of this fanart I'd once seen of Jason Todd, the Red Hood, looking at his past self as Robin. The past says to the future "You ruined everything". Catra could be happy but, ironically for someone who hates Shadow Weaver, she's probably going to be a lot like her, sacrificing everything for power and ambition.

Given the way she looked, I'm guessing Shadow Weaver is either addicted to the power of the Black Garnet or she suffered some kind of past injury and its power is the only thing keeping her going. Or both.

Episode 12: I'll be honest, Swiftwind being able to talk kind of gobsmacked and I needed a moment to recover. What a great voice they chose for that character.

So She-Ra is kind of like the legendary heroes from Rising of the Shield Hero, coming from a long line of people chosen to wield the sword. I tend to dislike chosen one types of stories because I think prophecy takes a lot of weight out of the character's actions, so this and Avatar are more what I like. The MC is special but not the only one who's ever been special and they can still easily fail. Their destiny was only to be able to use the weapon, not that they would succeed in any specific purpose.

And dang, Catra's turn against Shadow Weaver happened faster than I thought it would but I'm not complaining. That great "This is what you've really been preparing me for" speech and Hordak, again, being an intelligent villain. "Oh, this experiment could net me a MASSIVE gain and all it could potentially cost me is this rock I already gave away to someone who lately hasn't been producing any results and has been consistently disobeying me. Yeah, I'm going to let this play out."

Episode 13: That was kind of a brutal fight between Adora and Catra. Not the worst I've ever seen even in other shows for this age range (Samurai Jack, for example) but those punches are connecting and those claws are leaving marks.

Also, maybe I'm just misunderstanding the exact situation but shouldn't the good guys' side be called the Resistance instead of the Rebellion? Being a rebellion would imply they are rebelling against an established power or rule over them, but the actual conflict we are shown is the established power and rule that is the kingdoms of Eternia resisting an outside force that wishes to establish a new order over them.

Season 1 verdict: I'm into it. I'm definitely more invested in the villains' side of things but that's not a fault of the series, that stuff is just way more geared towards me than the current princess stuff. I actively am at attention whenever the horde main characters are on screen. For the good guys it's mostly Adora and the She-Ra stuff I'm invested it. That isn't to say I have any real dislikes for that side. Bow especially I'm liking much more than I thought I might. He has kind of this gravitational pull around him. You will be his friend regardless of how much you might want to resist. He's definitely the rock for everyone else to hold onto.

Minor side note, kind of like Korra in Legend of Korra, I love how even when her powers aren't active Adora is shown to still be pretty strong physically with how easily she was lifting people up at the prom.

And I was right, Scorpia is my favorite side character.

On to season 2!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/nyll2e/going_in_blind_watching_season_1_for_the_first/

[orange-waterfalls]

What Did You Do?

Platonic Wilford Warfstache x gender neutral!reader

@insertadumbnamehere ty for the request!

A/N: ok, so, this one takes place before, during, and almost immediately after WKM. I figured that "The Warfstache Affair" would take place pretty soon after it, so yeah. Wilford is referred to as William and The Colonel. You two are besties. Rated... T for cursing. Uh,,, I finished this during study hall instead of studying so... Appreciate my work. Inform me on any mistakes please.

Asks and submissions are open!

Word Count: 2.2k

--

You sat in the living room of your house, waiting for your friend to show up. William had a knack for being late to everything, you knew this and have accepted it by now. You were browsing through movies, wondering what you guys should watch. Nothing about Safari's or about a war. You might trigger something. He'd been through too much.

You heard your door unlock and creak open. You'd given him a key at this point in your friendship. You looked up at the Colonel and smiled. He wasn't looking at you.

"Hey, Will," you greeted. He nodded to you, a small smile on his face. It seemed forced.

"Evening," he responded. You tilted your head slightly.

"I uh… was looking for a movie. Anything in mind?"

"No… not particularly…"

"Ok. Well I found some feel-good movies, or we have some horror if you'd--"

"I got a letter," he interrupted. You raised an eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat. "It's… it's from Mark…" you scrambled to your feet, walking over to him. He was holding a letter with "William J. Barnum" written on it. You knew about his… falling out with the actor. It was pretty bad, from what you heard. Over a girl as well. You thought that to be a bit immature, but you didn't need to tell him that.

"What does it say?" You asked.

"I don't know. I haven't looked yet."

"Why not?"

"I wanted to wait until I was over here," you squinted at him in confusion. "In case… I read something I don't like…"

"Well… open it!" You urged. He tore the top open and took out a piece of paper. He read it to himself. You didn't need him to read it out loud to you, as you looked over his boulder to read.

"I've… been invited to Markiplier Manor for… a party…" he explained. You stepped away from his shoulder and stood in front of him.

"Well?" You asked.

"Well what?"

"Are you going?"

"No! Why would I?" He asked. You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Because… he's your friend--"

"Was my friend, Y/N. Was my friend…" he spoke quietly. You rolled your eyes.

"Ah, yes. It must've slipped my mind that you two behaved like 3rd graders…"

"Hey!"

"... And haven't talked to each other in years because of a girl." The Colonel stepped towards you.

"Celine is not just a girl…" he said in a warning tone.

"Yes, yes, I know. She's a woman. And you don't talk to your best friend because of her!"

"He's not my best friend, you are!" Your face heats up a bit. "And anyways, I didn't stop talking to him because of that, I stopped talking to him because he was a selfish prick!"

"And you didn't even try to talk it out? That seems a bit immature, Will…"

"Oh, please. Like you're mature…" you frowned at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You aren't exactly the most fair person yourself."

"Oh, really?" You raised your voice. "Care to elaborate, William?"

"Why, yes," he growled. "You're needy, you're selfish, you complain so much when you don't get everything you want--"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sometimes I don't want to hang out with you, Y/N!" He yelled. "Sometimes I just want to hang out in my own home by myself, but you just want me to hang out with you at every chance you get. And I do not want that!"

"Why not?!" You yelled, your voice cracking. You didn't have many friends, William was one of the few you had. Of course you wanted to hang out with him. You didn't have to be doing anything just… being near each other was fine for you. You could admit, you were a bit clingy.

"Sometimes you remind me of him," he sighed. You didn't think it was a compliment.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked. At this point, William had already lost his temper, and was now just spitting whatever popped into his mind.

"It means the only difference between you and him is that he has enough money to pay people to stick around! All your friends just feel sorry for you!" He snapped and realized his mistake all too late. You stared at him with a hurt look, feeling the tears glazing your eyes. You had trusted him with one of your insecurities. You had let him in. And now he was using that against you.

"Y/N…" you spun away from him. "Y/N I didn't mean…" he reached out to touch your shoulder, but you jerked away. He pulled back. You were letting the tears spill and quietly crying. Soft enough that he could tell you were trying to hide it, but loud enough that he heard you anyways. He put his arm back at his side.

"I'd like you to leave," you said, your voice wavering. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Y/N-"

"Leave, Will!" You demanded. He sighed.

"I'll… go to the party… we'll talk later, okay?" He said. You didn't respond. He sighed and left your house, leaving you to cry on your own.

--

It had been about a week since you'd seen or heard from the Colonel, and you were ready to talk. You thought he was just giving you space since he knew how upset you were. You texted him, "hi, Will. I wanted to apologize and say that I'm ready to talk whenever you are." And left it at that. You didn't think much about the fact that he didn't respond, until the next day.

Two policemen had shown up at your door.

"Can I help you?" You asked, slightly nervous.

"Do you know a William J. Barnum?" They asked. Your heart stopped.

"Um… yes…"

"We'd like to ask you a couple questions about him." You opened the door for them to come inside. You invited them to sit down on your couch, and made some coffee since it was early.

"So…" you began, nervously. "What's up with Will?"

"He went missing," The cop on the left said.

"Oh…"

"After he presumably killed 5 people." You froze. William? Kill people? No… no, he couldn't… he wouldn't…

"Excuse me?" The cop on the right called your attention. You snapped up to him.

"Huh?"

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Oh… um… a couple days ago… he told me he was going to Markiplier Manor for a party… we had a fight… I haven't heard from him since then…"

"I'm sorry." The left cop apologized. You nodded at him. "Do you have any idea of where he could be?"

"Uh… no. No, I don't think so…"

"Do you have any idea of what could've cause him to do this?"

"Well… he has some anger issues… and, uh, he doesn't really like Mark… they had a… falling out a while ago… over a girl…"

"A girl?"

"Yes. Celine…"

"Celine? Sister of the mayor Celine?"

"Yes?"

"She's one of the people who've gone missing since the party. Along with Mayor Damien, and a District Attorney." You widened your eyes.

"W-What about the other two?"

"Hm?"

"You said he presumably killed five people? What about the other two?"

"Oh, uh… Mark's Butler told us that Markiplier was dead, but his body had gone missing. And uh, we found the body of a detective in the Manor. He was shot in the chest with a 357 Magnum." You frown. "Any recollection of that?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah… he takes his Magnum everywhere…"

"Mm…"

"But… I never thought he'd…" you felt the tears burning your eyes as they threatened to fall. The left cop sets a gentle hand on your arm.

"I'm sorry about this. I know it's hard, especially if we don't even know for sure. But we need you to work with us," he consoled. They also you a couple more questions before standing up to leave.

"Here's the police station's number. Call if you get anything from him, okay?" The right cop said. You nodded, wipond your eyes with the back of your hand. They thanked you for the coffee and left. You sat on your couch, sighing. William…

"Damnit, William, what'd you get yourself into?" You mumbled and got out your phone.

--

William sat in the empty room, music playing on a boombox in the corner. He was thinking, and the beats of 80s songs were apparently helping with that.

Why were the police after him? He didn't do anything. He didn't kill anybody. He knew he didn't. I mean… the District Attorney was living proof of that. Abe was… fine. Right? Of course he was… if they were alive, why wouldn't he be? He started to laugh a bit. This was so… ridiculous! It was mad! He loved it!

There may have been something wrong with his head. Watching the person you killed come back after seven hours can do that to a person…

But he wasn't crazy. He wasn't. He knew that for a fact.

bzzt

He turned his head to the phone he sat on the boombox and raised his eyebrows.

bzzt

"Now, who could that be?" He said to no one in particular. He leaped to his feet and waltzed over.

bzzt

He looked at the phone, checking to see who it was. The contact name was "N/N". You had changed it to your nickname a while ago, saying that if he had a nickname, you should have one too. He smiled widely as he saw it.

bzzt

He picked up the phone.

"N/N! Hello, how are you? It's been a while, huh?" He said, his voice all over the place.

"William, what did you do?" You asked bluntly.

"Well, I missed you too…"

"William. What did you do?"

"Not much. I had some cake the other day and-"

"William..." You growled. He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what you were so upset about. Then, he laughed.

"Ah, so the police got to you. I didn't do anything." He claimed.

"Don't lie to me, Will," you warned.

"I'm not! I would never!"

"Then why do the police think you killed five people?!"

"Five people? No!" He paused. "...maybe two or three…"

"What?"

"It's fine, they came back! Well… one of them did…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" He grunted in frustration.

"I shot them in the chest. I sat right there next to the body for several hours. Then they just got back up. Right there in front of me."

"... okay… William-"

"I was thinking of changing my name, actually! What do you think about "Wilford Warfstache"?"

"I think we shouldn't talk for a while." You said quickly. William's smile dropped and he froze.

"What?" He asked softly.

"I think, until things calm down, you should lay low for a while and… we shouldn't talk."

"But… but I like talking-"

"I know, Will. I like talking to you too. But this is serious. You're in trouble for some really bad things. You should try not to make it worse, okay? Keep quiet and don't cause trouble." You commanded. "It'll be safer for the both of us if we don't stay in contact. You know my address, you have a key, I don't plan on moving anytime soon. If you really need to come here you can."

"Y/N…"

"I'm gonna miss you, Will." Your voice cracked as you spoke. William felt tears pricking at his own eyes.

"I'll… miss you too…"

"Goodbye…"

"Wait!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry… about before…"

"I know… I am too…"

"... I love you…" you chuckled from the other end of the line.

"I… love you too…" Then you hung up. William stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. You were his best friend. What was he supposed to do now? Who was he supposed to have a movie night with? Who was he supposed to talk to?

He looked over to his previous spot on the floor, where he's left his gun. What was one way he could let you know he was doing good without contacting you?

He smiled and started giggling.

"Time to cause some chaos!"

--

It had been three weeks since your call with William. The police contacted you occasionally, asking if you heard anything. You always said no. You knew William, and he wouldn't do anything like that on purpose. So, you didn't tell the police anything.

You worried about William. He didn't seem like himself on the call. He seemed… loose. More… careless. That was worrying.

You sighed as you opened your front door, having just bought groceries. You sat the bags in your kitchen and turned on the TV to have some background noise as you cooked. You flipped through the channels until something on the news caught your eye. You went back to it

"--a gruesome series of murders committed by a man who calls himself "Wilford Warfstache". The police think this man may be the fugitive William J. Barnum, who is allegedly killed the actor Mark Fischbach, the mayor of the town, the mayor's sister, a detective on the case, and a district attorney." the newswoman explained. You gaped at the TV. "He is responsible for killing a woman, her husband, their neighbor, their dog, and possibly, their baby. If you see this man, call the number on screen right away." They showed a picture of William with his mustache dyed pink. You buried your face in your hands and swore.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me…"

[langdonwhore]

prophecized pain (michael x fem! reader)

Description: It turns out you aren’t the loyal satanist you thought you were, and Michael just so happens to be the one who brings that to light.

Note: Talk by Hozier is what inspired this honestly. This is my first Michael fanfic and I hope it’s up to par! I appreciate all forms of feedback! Let me know what you think.

Word Count: 1.7k (the rest of the chapters will be much longer!)

Warnings for this chapter include: Cussing.

Chapter One:

You noticed him walk in almost immediately, it was a shift in the air. He looked as if the world had almost legitimately put itself upon his shoulders. He was covered in dirt, and another substance you weren't too curious to think or ask about. His hair, heart, and soul disheveled and you felt as if you shouldn't be able to tell that about a person from their mere appearance. At least not at first glance. He had lost all hope, and you could feel it.

Far too caught up in your own head, you hadn't noticed he'd made his way to the pew you were sat at, plopping down with no mercy and staring straight ahead as the dark priest belted her beliefs to Satan's loyal followers. You snapped your head forward, careful to give the man his own sorrowed privacy. You chimed into the conversation the dark priest was arguing, laughable as it was really everyone was talking, discussing and comparing their own evil actions they had performed for their Dark Lord. Chewing your lip you raised an anxious arm to spill your latest duties, and when the dark priest called upon you, you spoke cautiously. "Lately I've been focused more on stealing money from celebrities and donating it to animal shelters." Hearing a few scoffs you curled in upon yourself. You knew the majority of the people who attended the Satanic Church were murderers, it didn't bother you because you knew they had a primal cause, a destiny to fulfill, but you weren't like most Satanists. Not really.

When the service was over you made your way to the snack deck, plopping grapes and blueberries into your mouth as everyone gathered and planned their next heists. Grabbing a cup full of juice you stared off about to take a sip when you noticed the same man from earlier was staring at the table full of sandwiches. He never made a move to grab one, eyes locked onto the snacks as if they were the forbidden fruits. Setting your pride.. and anxiety aside you took a few cautious strides towards him. He was terrifying in the most unexplainable ways. You cleared your throat and he made no move to turn towards you, only taking a deep breath and tapping his leather boot against the tile. You spoke hesitantly, "You know, you may be new, but these are for everyone and I can tell you're starving." You stepped forward to stand beside him, grabbing a plate and putting a few items onto it and gesturing it towards him. He made no move to take it from you, but turned his head toward you to scan your figure.

"You don't belong here." He spoke, turning his entire body towards you. You flinched away, something about his icy tone and stance had you uneasy. "Care to explain?" you asked him, setting the plate down, just to give him your full attention. He raised an eyebrow, and you could've swore he rolled his eyes. "You, as in the girl who steals money to donate it to fucking charities, does not belong here. You aren't fit to serve my Father when what he craves is chaos. He doesn't need charity work sweetheart, He needs bloodshed and innocence sacrificed to him. Acts of horror your little mind could never conjure up. I've sat in grief for days in the forest, just for him to guide me home and.." he paused and you took that moment to breathe. Catching glimpse of the blood splattered under his sleeves and over his black clothing that was days old at least. "people like you, who are unable to proudly shed blood upon His name aren't worthy of redemption."

You were stunned to say the least. He was steaming and whatever else had him upset before he even brought himself here was fueling him on. How dare he, a strange man you'd never met before, accuse you of not fulfilling your Satanic promise. Of course he was right, you had never shed blood or sold your soul. Far too terrified to get caught by the law and far too scared to bare your neck to the beast. The thought of it sending you spiraling into shame and how dare a stranger have the audacity. How dare he. "What makes you think I haven't fulfilled my promise? Do you always intend to insult strangers, or is that today's theme?" you barked back, trying to feign control.

He really did sigh and roll his eyes this time, entirely fed up it seemed. Running a dirty hand through his golden locks he snarled, "The one bad thing you've ever done is steal the money from that racist youtuber, but then you donated all three hundred million of it to the animal rescue center. You have yet to sacrifice your soul to my Father and then question me on my anger? You can't claim to serve him when you haven't given yourself to him fully. I'm fucking starving" He spoke as he snatched the plate off the table and walked out of the building, leaving you frozen and slack jawed. Never before had you been so confused, he referred to the Dark Lord as his Father, which wasn't unusual at all. Except, there was something about the way he referred to the beast. It was unholy, unwelcoming, and unsafe. You had never met such a strange, yet dark aura. His presence still lingered no matter where you ran to, even in bed late at night or in your early morning shower. The darkness was tainted and you could almost smell it.

Exactly a week later you were back at service, hoping the not so familiar face would stay hidden in whatever shadow he originated from. A week had passed and you still had felt the nagging sensation of what felt like paranoia ever since his stern prophesation to you. You had hoped dearly he wouldn't return, you had hoped he wouldn't taint your mind any further. Fear and curiosity embezzling itself into the depths of your mind. Oddly enough, you completely doubted that was the last time you'd ever see him. In fact you had an aching feeling inside that he was near. It was an overbearing feeling in your chest that had the hairs on the back of your neck astray, and the goosebumps littering your body, rigid. With a shaky body you made your way to your usual pew, noticing a pretty unusual commotion at the front alter. Oh no.

There he was, in all his unholy glory. Wearing a black robe, and clearly he had showered this time around. You were standing now, almost unconsciously making your way to the front, to him. You were prying, way too curious to care about the unforeseen consequences that you being nosy may bring. Then you heard it, "He's the one.." and you froze in place. Time had unbeknowingly stopped, to some that statement would be rather normal, rather funny really. He was the Father's son. He was the Antichrist. You didn't need proof, the prophecy was already proven from the aching fear you had felt for him since you first laid eyes upon him. The way he had ridiculed you for not being worthy of his Father's redemption. It all made sense now.

With wide eyes you took quiet steps back to your seat, hoping no one saw, and hoping no one could sense your distress. Looking up you caught sight of him, preparing to make sacrifice of a young man and woman. He raised the dagger, chanting a loud 'Ave Satanas' along with everyone else there. It took a good nanosecond before he sliced both of their throats, sending them to an unknown realm. It was catastrophic really, the upset feeling you had in your stomach as the blood poured out of their bodies. It was even worse when you realized he had been staring at you for who knows how long. His eyes were glazed over, a pale black as they tore into the deepest depths of your soul. You knew exactly what he wanted as his lip curled up in a little smirk that made you wildly uncomfortable. He wanted, craved almost, you to bare your neck to him. Hand him your soul on a silver platter like everyone else in the building had already. Idealistically you would, considering the main idea of the church was to literally serve him but was it really worth it? No. He'd have free reign to your subconscious, you're carnal desires and deepest regrets. Something so livid about that terrified you into denial.

As he smoothly stepped off the alter, you took that as your momentary sign to vacate the situation. Walking home to avoid being subjected to you're unwanted destiny. Maybe you'd decide to submit but was it really worth it if you had to hand it to him? His very aura had darkness and power you didn't want to dabble with. Comically, you'd rather not cause trouble but you knew if the true Son had been found, the world was soon to meet it's doom. Prophecies were always fulfilled, and soon this one would be too. Why fret over anything when everything would be over soon.

Late at night in bed you were woken to harsh thumps on your door, jumping up you grabbed your sheer black robe and tied a knot in it before checking the time. 3:00AM. You sighed before getting a baseball bat and walking to the front door, "Who is it?" you asked gripping the bat in fear of an intruder. But the hairs sticking up on the back of your neck spoke numbers.

There was a dark chuckle before the door creaked open on it's own, forcing you to stumble back. You raised the bat and prepared to swing, then you saw his face. "Oh. It's you." you sighed before dropping the bat and going to sit on the couch. He was dressed in all black, a turtleneck dress shirt accompanied by dress pants and mens boots. "Who else would visit you at the Devil's hour?" He strung, ice in his tone and trouble in his smile. Raising your hands in mock humor you let out a humorless laugh speaking, "I don't even know your name, yet you randomly show up to my house? Kinda predatory if you ask me." He didn't think that was funny. Not at all.

"Well I wasn't asking.. and my name is Michael Langdon. It's a displeasure to finally meet you."

[sanfl0werrr]

the meaning of love

| part one | part two | x | part four |

a few months flew by, and that meant you were graduating in exactly a year. you found yourself spending more time with jaemin compared to wonwoo, despite being in the same year as him.

you genuinely felt okay. you were okay with seeing wonwoo, you were okay with being in the same class as him and you were okay with looking at him being all lovey-dovey with aera.

you were pretty much occupied with school, your club and the dreamies, meaning you were distracted most of the time. they would probably have known what had happened somehow, through jaemin. so, when you see them trying so hard to cheer you up for the past months, made it all heartening to see.

tonight wasn't an exception either. due to the fact that you and mark were seniors, both of you were one of those who had to step down from their positions as the executive committee.

"i'm honoured to have been given a chance to serve the school and bring this club to greater heights. thank you to my team who's been supporting me all these while and for being the best i could've ever asked for. signing off for the final time as your president, mark lee," he bowed as everyone erupted into cheers.

"can we have na jaemin, the newly appointed president, to come on stage to give his acceptance speech?" the emcees announced.

a round of applause was given as jaemin went up on stage to give his acceptance speech.

you knew how nervous he was. from the day mark appointed him as the president, up till now. you silently wished that all will go well for him.

"thank you, mark lee, and everyone who joined us here tonight. it's a special evening for both the seniors and us as we thanked the seniors for all that they've done for us and also carry on the tradition they've set for the next batch. without everyone, none of this will be possible. let us assure the seniors that we can carry on the unity they've established for us, if not greater so that they will not regret passing on the torch to us. signing off for the first time as your president, na jaemin," the crowd erupted into cheers once again and everyone laughed at the reference of mark's speech jaemin had made at the end.

the night ended with so much happiness and you felt at ease for the first time in a while.

"hey, love, wasn't i dashing up there?" jaemin came up to you, putting his hands around your waist.

"don't do that, nana! and yes, you were the most attractive man in the room.. after jeno that is," you stuck your tongue out at him.

"and you're the most attractive woman i've ever laid eyes on," jeno appeared out of nowhere, and placed a kiss on your hand.

in return, you blew a kiss to jeno.

you could see jaemin glaring at jeno even without seeing his face. ever since that night, he became more touchy, more flirty and more protective than wonwoo ever was. you knew that this was his natural state, not the one when he was quiet and cold.

you like this openly flirty and smiley na jaemin more than the other one. it made you feel all sorts of things.

"you sure you're aren't dating jaemin at this point, y/n?" donghyuck was sceptical.

even mark, renjun, chenle and jisung nodded.

"we'd be a power couple, i know it," jaemin winks at you, locking your arms in his.

you flipped your hair, "president na jaemin as my boyfriend? sign me up, baby!"

the dreamies knew that both nana and you were just joking around, but the fact that they kept pushing the both of you together, made you quite uncomfortable.

you were uncomfortable mainly because you didn't want jaemin to find it disgusting to be teased as a couple with you, but so far, he didn't show signs of disgust. the fact that jaemin and you grew closer and spent most of the time together, made you extra cautious.

you didn't want it to end just like how you and wonwoo ended.

"come on, dreamies! let's go out for dinner," chenle suggested.

one by one, all of them started walking towards the exit. you stayed behind for some reason.

"y/n, you coming?" mark turned and smiled, calling out to you.

"you're part of the dreamies now, y/n. can't run away now, can't run away later. you're stuck with us for life," renjun chuckled.

"yeah, you've basically spent most of your time with us. what's hesitating you now?" chenle questioned.

"just... i'm no longer part the club, so-"

"i thought we've established that you can't run away from us, y/n," donghyuck rolled his eyes, a smile on his face.

"we can't handle jaemin without you, y/n! you're the only one who can save me," jisung whined.

"i never thought i would be hearing it from you, jisung," jaemin exclaimed in shock.

"you're the only one who calls me attractive, y/n," jeno came up to you and held your hands.

"hands off, jeno!" jaemin smacked his hands away.

you laughed at their antics and grew soft at the way they're reassuring you. you heaved a sigh of relief.

you smiled, the happiness reaching your eyes, "yeah, let's get dinner."

the dreamies erupted into cheers as they walked fancily, with their fancy shoes and their fancy outfits. no doubt that everywhere they went, eyes would be on them.

and everywhere you went, their eyes would be on you; walking side by side, together with you.

--

your phone rang.

it rang multiple times till it woke you up from your sleep, the sleep you love so much.

"um, hello?" you answered the phone, half asleep.

"y/n?" the voice at the end of the receiver called out. you'd recognised this voice anywhere.

"wonwoo?" you sat right up, fully aware that you're on the phone with him.

"yeah, did i wake you up?" he asked, in concern.

"well, kind of, yeah," you answered, bluntly, "kind of a surprise, getting a call from you."

you could hear him sighing at the end of the other side, "it's been so long, y/n. i kinda miss you, you know. can we meet up?"

a few months ago, you would have have been a mess, trying to get wonwoo to choose you instead of aera, trying to get him to call out your name because he had that much of an effect towards you.

surprisingly enough, you felt nothing. you felt nothing at all, but peace. you've realised that you've finally come to terms with your emotions and left them at the garbage bin. you felt the weight has been lifted up from your heart and body.

you smiled, "sure, why not? i missed my best friend too."

the next few hours with wonwoo made you realise all sorts of things; like how comfortable you were and that there were no more romantic feelings hidden in your heart.

you could just be yourself without being all anxious, or even worrying if you're gonna make a fool out of yourself.

"so, how have you been, my girl?" wonwoo nudged you a little.

that felt weird, the way he's calling you, my girl. your thoughts suddenly flew to jaemin, who had been calling you love all these while. love seemed more classier and the way he called you love was like being under a blanket during winter; it made you warm. you smiled to yourself.

you looked up and teased him, "i don't think you should be calling me your girl anymore though. i am never yours ever since you got yourself a girlfriend, i was never yours from day 1."

"you know i've always called you my girl," wonwoo softened.

you giggled and check the time, "not anymore."

"you're always with the dreamies and we don't seem to be hanging out anymore," wonwoo started.

"don't you have a girlfriend?" you asked him, being puzzled while looking at your phone.

"i'm talking about you here, y/n. you'd always hang with them after school or even during lunch. i don't see you anymore," wonwoo complained.

you raised your brows and looked at the time, "what is your point? why did you even call me out here today?"

"you're doing it again. you've been checking your phone and time throughout the whole day! are you waiting for someone's text?" he lashed out.

"it's my fault, now? you're the one who's been missing and i don't even see the rest of our friends either! every time they'd see me in school, it turned awkward. i'm 100% sure you'd know why!" you raised your voice, "at least i'm somewhere where i know i feel at ease, and that's with the dreamies."

"you sure it isn't because of jaemin? na jaemin, the newly appointed president of your club, the club that takes up most of your time. i'm pretty sure you're spending tons of time together in that pretty little club room of yours," he bitterly spat, "everyone knows how close the both of you are. you might even date him at this point and i don't even know about it!"

"so what if i do? what's so bad about being with jaemin?" you muttered to yourself.

"you can't be serious! do you know what people have been saying about you and jaemin? tons of shit! you and i know you can't handle that," he ran his fingers through his hair.

wonwoo sighed, "i'm sorry, y/n. i overreacted. i just want the best for you. you know i'll always be here right?"

wonwoo embraced you, but you had no energy to reciprocate the hug. you stood there, staring at the ground, with his arms around you.

--

summer break just started and ever since that day with wonwoo, you never felt the same again. it was as if you're in a state of dilemma every single time you're with the dreamies. you don't doubt that they were sincere in being with you, heck, you would never doubt them.

you were just feeling you, undeserving of it all.

"knock, knock. anyone in there?" chenle peered into your face.

you just have him a slight smile.

"oh? what's wrong? you look lost in your thoughts," jeno questioned.

the dreamies were hanging out at your place today, and since they've never really seen your place, they suggested on chilling there.

"you can tell us anything," donghyuck chimes in.

"is this about jaemin?" mark asked.

"mark!" the rest shouted.

you looked around and laughed, "what made you think it's about jaemin?"

jisung cleared his throat, "well, since he's not here, and you look distracted.."

"you miss him?!" chenle shrieked.

"come on, chenle!" renjun nudged the little boy.

"it's about... wonwoo," you confessed, laughing a little.

mark shrugged his shoulders, "you don't have to talk about it if you feel uncomfortable."

"but i'm curious!" donghyuck chided in.

"donghyuck, don't force y/n!" mark scolded the boy.

"i don't mind, it's okay," you smiled at all of them, "it's about time i tell you anyways."

the rest of the time was spent talking about wonwoo and your one-sided, unrequited love for him. you told them the details of what made you fall for him and how understanding he was to the way he'd lashed out quickly if both of you had an argument. but it end up with both parties apologising.

"i met him the other day, because he called me up, asking to meet," you started off again, "he got annoyed at me, saying i was so distracted and kept looking at my phone. i felt bad, actually."

"so... did your feelings resurfaced?" jisung asked carefully.

you shook your head vigorously, "hell no! the moment my feelings for the person disappears, i will never go back to him. even if those feelings came back, i will never go back to him."

"so, why are you so lost in your own thoughts?" jeno asked, taking turns.

"jaemin," you confessed, "it's jaemin. you know why i felt bad? because all i thought of was jaemin. i was waiting for him to text me back, and i kept looking at the time. i wasn't even paying attention to wonwoo, and he lashed out at me, saying mean things."

"i'm so scared," you cried out, "what if jaemin and i end exactly the way it ended like wonwoo and i?"

the emotions since that day burst out, and you cried. you even prayed, not wanting your feelings to risk your friendship with jaemin. you didn't want that. knowing how heartbroken you were, everyone gathered and hugged you, patting your back to comfort you.

moments later, you heard the door being unlocked.

"y/n! your prince is here!" your little brother exclaimed and ran to you, "oh? why are you crying? prince jaemin! princess y/n is crying!"

the moment jaemin heard what your littke brother said, he immediately dropped his bag at the entrance and ran to you.

"what happened?" he looks frantic, eyeing each and every one of his friends.

"w-wonwoo," you sobbed, "but everything's okay."

"o-oh," he stuttered.

"group hug!" your brother exclaimed and everyone laughed, embracing one another in the midst of that.

[md3artjournal]

Source: https://twitter.com/Schnumn/status/1485615223579070468

When I was younger, my dad used to tell me that when you really like something, you'll find yourself doing it and putting a lot of effort into it, without even noticing. Over the years, that has degenerated into this idea, that when I get into negative thought spirals, especially about my art, that maybe I just don't want it bad enough. Maybe I wasn't meant to do this. But I don't know what else to do. I kind of like doing this and everything else is hellish, but maybe I don't love it as much as I thought? If I don't belong here, doing this, then maybe I don't belong anywhere? Maybe all my assertions are wrong, and maybe being wrong all the time is my only normal, or the only thing that can reliably be expected from me: To fail. At everything. So I just end up feeling lost, depressed, and trapped.

Maybe it's time I told those negative thoughts, "f**k you".

Recently, I've been toying with the idea that maybe I'll never get good at drawing humans or humanoids, because maybe I'm just not interested in that. Sometimes I hear critiques of fiction, and the critic will say, "It's clear the author wasn't interested in writing that." Maybe I've been confused on what I'm actually interested in drawing. I love fandom and fictional characters, and I'd love to be able to draw fanart of those fictional human characters...But I never want to study anatomy, fundamentals, etc. But as my personal drawing challenge this month has shown me, I can still draw something pretty well: flowers. And as the past couple years has shown me, I can also draw tigers and (fuzzy) animals. Anything from photo reference, actually. This past Christmas, I actually managed to draw 2 portraits of my parents in under 2.5 hours, and everyone agreed those turned out well. All this time, I've been yearning to draw something well, just be able to have a resulting artwork that looks inherently beautiful, something I can feel proud of, and not something that was only liked because it was fanart and the other fans of that series found it. (I Like art all the time, solely because it's a series or character I love.) But all this time, I've been ignoring my ability to draw from photo reference, because that wasn't what I wanted to do. I thought it wasn't important to me. It wasn't "what I loved". I instead wanted to draw fanart of my favorite fictional characters!!! ;o; But maybe that's just a misconception on my part. Maybe humans aren't really what I want to draw; maybe not what I'm actually interested in. Maybe flowers and animals are what I'm interested in. Maybe I really do love that stuff. I have been admitting more and more to myself lately that I think I really like flowers. And even when I draw them inaccurately, the resulting artwork always ends up looking inherently good. I feel better when I finish a flower or animal sketch. Maybe I should be more of an environmental artist than a character artist? Whereas, fanart of human fictional characters (with no photo reference) is such a crap shoot with me, I could spend 3 hours on something and it just makes me feel bad or worse, in the end. I rarely meet the standards of my love for a fictional character. My art is never good enough reflect that. Most of my fanart, even when it shows a progression of my previous skill, often just exasperates my depression sooner or later. Maybe if I wasn't making a living off of artist alley for the past 10 years, comparing myself to others wouldn't be an issue. But I can't escape seeing how much my fanart of fictional humans falls short. I'm funneling myself into continually trying to draw fanart of fictional human characters, and continually reminded of how bad I am at it, even when I reach a personal best or grow. So I guess it's no wonder I keep having to ask myself the implicating question from my dad's words: Maybe I don't love these fictional characters that I think I love so much. And that breaks my heart. ;____;

But maybe I should instead be concluding that it's not that my love for these characters is in question, but rather, my interest in drawing humans in general. Honestly, I avoid humans in real life so much, I'm not only pretty much a hermit, but I also avoid eye contact, avoid most social interaction, have avoided photos of people decorating my bedroom all my life, and my dad has suggested that maybe some measure of autism runs in our family. Maybe it's only natural that I'm not interested in drawing humans.

And maybe that should be distinctly separate from my love for a character or series, because that doubt in my fandom love really hurts me. I should be separating my self-doubt in my human-drawing skills from my doubts in my love for my fandom obsessions. I love my fandoms and fictional characters so much; conflating that with my drawing (humans) skill and "somehow" still never getting any better at fanart---not even getting better at the will to study to improve it---can feel like a pretty infinite gap. "How can I love this series/characters so intensely, yet not be getting better at it? If love translates into dedication, and translates into will to study/improve? If this infinitely intense feeling of love for a series/characters translates into nothing, despite loving a fandom so much, then isn't improving my drawing of their fanart hopeless?" If the best panacea is still ineffective, then nothing will work. It's a very hopeless place. And now I think it comes from conflating 2 things that should be separated (if I want to keep my self esteem): my love for series/characters vs my interest in drawing humans.