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wen-kexing-apologist · 2 years ago

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Heart's Vocalization Thoughts and Feelings

Hello and welcome to another round of Moonlight Chicken Posts That Literally No One @respectthepetty Specifically Asked For:

Heart Edition Round ?? i've lost count.

Mx. RTP may have gotten me hooked on red/blue through clothing but my first and truest love will always be lighting so I need everyone, but especially Professional Life Ruin-er Formerly Known as "Petty" (you're my best friend now, sorry I don't make the rules), to understand that this specific lighting ruined my life. Like on a cellular level, my body is a wasteland, my mind will never recover. Stepping in from the outside world, from Heart's world, Heart's life, Heart's home in to the rich, red, warmth of Li Ming's world, Li Ming's home. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, if my memory serves me correctly we never see Heart in warm lighting until the end of Episode 4, and we definitely don't see Heart in red lighting until Episode 5. Up until this point when Li Ming and Heart are together, there is always blue lighting on them, and especially when they are in Heart's home there is always a blue wash on the whole scene. So finally, finally we get red lighting babyyyyyy, fuck yeah!

Ok, sorry, I'm normal again.

Initial thoughts going in to the actual scene are as follows: 1. Stripes, my beloved! 2. Heart is so head over heels for Li Ming it's ridiculous.

Anyway, I love the small little smile that Heart has on his face here when Li Ming is essentially giving him an 'I told you so' to Heart about asking his Mom. I know that Li Ming sees Heart earlier on in the episode, but he isn't present for the conversation between Li Ming and his mother so regardless of whether he knows that Li Ming talked to her, I don't think he knows the specifics. But he follows this comment up with "You're smart. You can persuade her." Obviously he knows that something happened because Heart's mother has never listened to her son before, why would she start now?

So! Much! Red! Lighting! They are in love your honor. I am so grateful for every moment we get to see of Li Ming and Heart alone together having fun. They may be on the edge of adulthood, but there is still so much repressed youth in them that has been dying to get out and can't because it's been contained by parental shame, by the need to work to survive, by the nature of generational gaps and unsuccessful attempts to protect your loved ones.

When Heart and Li Ming are by themselves (with the exception of the post confrontation mental breakdown session in Ep. 5) there is so much joy between them. And look at Li Ming, he is so proud of himself here, for successfully persuading Heart's mother to let Heart leave the house. They don't have to sneak out anymore, Heart's parents are finally starting to understand that they can't make their son problem go away if they just keep Heart cooped up.

Once again like father-figure uncle like nephew, Li Ming has found himself a love interest that is also obsessed with the family cat. Honestly, this cat is living the dream, all he has to do all day is be held for approximately 30 seconds and get fed a fuck ton of treats. So far this scene is just very cute, Heart taking in his surroundings, attaching himself immediately to the cat, absolutely bathed in red light. And there is something so simple I love about the set up this moment brings to the important turning point that immediately follows...

Heart's holding the cat with both his hands. He can't text or sign.

Side Note: I am curious if Thai sign language has finger spelling.

And here we go! Heart speaks, not just vocalizes, it's not an exclamation of surprise, it's not a shuddering breath, or a sob. It's not a squeak or random sound Heart makes because he can't hear how loud he is being. Up until this point, every time we have heard a sound from Heart it has been unintentional. This is the first time we hear Heart speak. And importantly, he doesn't have to. He doesn't have to say anything. There isn't anything urgent, nothing that would require a sound to get Li Ming's immediately attention. He doesn't need to say Jimbo's name, literally right before this he looked at Li Ming and pointed to the cat. He could have ended the acknowledgement there. But he doesn't. He speaks. And he absolutely does not look at Li Ming while he does it. He keeps his eyes trained firmly on the cat in front of him.

I stole this gif from @earthpirapat because I don't know how to make them, and because I need anyone who reads this to see Li Ming's reaction in this moment. He is also looking at Jimbo, because he, like the audience, believes that Heart is going to end his acknowledgement of the cat's name by pointing to the cat. Li Ming is content to watch his friend play with his cat, and that's all he is expecting. Until "yyim-" tickles his ear, and Li Ming's head snaps straight up to Heart's face. You can tell how surprised he is at the way he pulls his head back a bit more to really look at Heart. To make sure that what just happened is actually real when he says "bo".

And I think it's important to know that Heart does not really seem hesitant to speak. He just...does it. What he is hesitant to do is look at Li Ming. He waits a full two seconds after he's said "Jimbo" to look up from the cat he is holding in his arms.

But he has nothing to worry about because when his eyes go to Li Ming, what does he see?

A puppy dog of a man, radiating excitement. Li Ming is beaming. It's funny to me a little bit that the thought has never seemed to cross Li Ming's mind that Heart, who only went deaf three years ago, is actually able to speak. But nevertheless he is thrilled.

"You can speak?" he asks, and he's chuckling a little and pausing and you can see all the gears in his head turning as he signs because it's like his whole worldview just got rocked. And GOD I love this moment so much because from the second that Heart speaks Li Ming's eyes never leave Heart. Or if they do it is literally an unconscious thing that is happening when he's trying to remember his signs. Heart puts Jimbo down and Li Ming literally folds his body in half, to follow Heart's movement, bends over to tap him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can speak?" he says again.

"Yeah? Can you speak again? I want to hear." he asks, and he's baffled. He's losing his signs. Like he is signing successfully to Heart, sure, but it's taking him much longer to create his sentence than it normally does because he's still in such shock over what just happened. That Heart can speak, that he heard his voice. His brain cannot keep up with his emotions.

The face of a man verrryyyy skeptical that his voice would be that exciting for anyone to hear.

"I"

"Want"

"To Hear"

"Your Voice"

I have no thoughts. I have no notes for this. It is just an incredibly powerful moment to me in furthering Li Ming as a safe zone for Heart, as someone trusted and precious. Each sign is deliberate. This is a deliberate request. This isn't a question built on surprise, "wait wait do it again" this is specific. "I want to hear your voice"

Look how pleasantly surprised Heart is. Look how happy, how bewitched he is in this moment. A few weeks back, I wrote a post analyzing Heart's communication. At the time I wrote it, I was doing a lot of speculating about Heart and his ability to talk and what it meant for the character if he could versus if he couldn't. The tl;dr version was me essentially wondering how much agency Heart has over his own isolation. Is he capable of talking and chooses not to to test the people around him, maintaining control of his own isolation, with speaking as a lifeline, or because Thai is a tonal language did he lose the ability to speak because not being able to hear might impede his ability to make distinct tones. Either way he has the ability to talk, it's a matter of whether or not he could be understood if he did vocalize his words.

I got a pretty quick reply from @littlederxxnged with a link to this Tweet quoting P'Aof and Heart's voice:

And if this quote is real, if the reason Heart doesn't speak is because he lacks the confidence to, this makes the scene all the more important and all the more wonderful for me. Because it's showing us, the audience, that Li Ming makes Heart feel confident. Li Ming makes Heart brave.

And I love that I don't get a sense of fear from Heart in any of this. Surprise? Yes. Confusion? Yes. Skepticism? A bit. Hesitation? Absolutely. But it doesn't seem to come from a place of fear. Heart is not afraid of using his voice around Li Ming, and he is never afraid of what Li Ming's reaction will be. He certainly has no idea what Li Ming's reaction will be, but it shows how much trust these two have built in one another, that Heart feels safe enough with Li Ming to test his voice.

I don't know if Heart will speak again the show. I don't care if he does. Speaking is not his primary language anymore and he doesn't owe his voice to anyone. I just want to establish that before I say I find it so much more special that Heart says his own name, rather than Li Ming's here. Why? Because the way I interpret Heart's character at this point is a man who is far more certain about what he wants out of life, now that he is able to live his life again. We get to hear Heart's name, we get to hear Heart speak for himself.

Something really cute about this moment as well is Li Ming's reaction. "I heard you just say your name!" I love that he signs to Heart what he heard. I love it so much. We know that Heart is hesitant to speak, and it takes him a second to get the word out, and I'm sure he can feel the vibrations of his vocal chords when he says his name, but he can't hear it. Li Ming is SO obviously happy, so obviously thrilled.

But this is about Heart, Li Ming's feelings have nothing to do with it. Okay, Li Ming's feelings have everything to do with it for Heart. But Li Ming's initial, gut-reaction response to hearing Heart, hesitantly say his name, is to hype the ever-loving FUCK out of that boy.

"You're great! You're awesome! How can you speak? You're so great. I'm happy." and GOD Heart can't even hear him say it. Li Ming isn't signing here, I mean he is very obviously happy, and very obviously showering Heart in praise. But Heart cannot hear him. For most of the hug he can't even read Li Ming's lips. But the pride, the joy, the excitement is so palpable. He's jumping up and down, you don't really need to hear his words to feel how happy he is about what just happened.

He pulls back "How could you do it? I'm happy. Can you see? I'm so happy," He is talking so fast. He is talking so so fast. He cannot contain himself. But he has integrated himself so much into Heart's life, that despite the fact that he is fully forgetting to sign here, he is touching Heart, he is jumping up and. down with Heart, he is showing Heart how much being trusted with his voice means to him.

Sweet baby angel, you are talking so fast. He sees a bunch of words coming out of your mouth but does not hear what you are saying. And he looks confused because he definitely did not anticipate this strong of a positive reaction to just saying his name. Especially when you consider he isn't confident in his voice. He looks confused because he almost certainly did not anticipate this outcome.

(Ignore the subtitles on that second picture, focus on Heart's smile)

Does Heart owe us his voice? No. Did we ever need to know if he could speak? No. Does this moment hit particular hard after the confrontation scene last episode concerning the use of the term "mute" in reference to Heart. Absolutely. We saw how much it hurt Heart to learn his mother refers to him as mute.

We know Heart has to beg Li Ming to even tell him what she said, Heart can see how much Li Ming hesitated to deliver that blow. He saw how strongly Li Ming was standing against his parents, he's a smart kid. He might not be able to follow the full conversation cause it's happening quickly, and they are shouting which fucks with lip shape to read lips, and Li Ming and his mother are both facing away from him. But he knows his mother said something bad, he knows Li Ming defended him.

It is so so so so so SO important to me that Heart decides to speak in this moment. That he uses his voice casually, to say a cat's name, in private, with just the two of them.

Heart's voice is not a commodity, it's not a novelty. It's a gift. And Li Ming treats it as such. Heart is being vulnerable with Li Ming. Heart hasn't spoken to anyone in three years, and when he does speak in front of Li Ming for the first time Li Ming literally cannot contain his joy. I love how many times the camera cuts to Heart's face in this, to show us to tell us that Heart loves this. That he is surprised by it, but that he is more than happy to speak again, that he is smiling the whole time because he knows how important it is to Li Ming. Because it's important to him too.

If you finished this whole post, congratulations you have won an invisible medal.

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wen-kexing-apologist · 2 years ago

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Resolution

Ok, I've been trying to work on this the last couple days but I have been so so sleepy. SO Moonlight Chicken has ended and I am very sad about it, but all good things must come to an end, and we just have to hope that when they do the ending is satisfying. And boy oh boy, if Moonlight Chicken doesn't have itself atruly satisfying ending. I talked about intention in Moonlight Chicken and how I felt that one of, if not the main theme of this show is Community, especially queer community. But now I just want to talk about the resolutions. It is the ending after all. And Moonlight Chicken delivers on presenting us satisfying endings for all our wonderful characters, and my opinions on why they are satisfying.

This is going to be a loooonnnnng post, so be warned. (I put this kind of in the order that I thought would be least complicated relationships to most but who knows? You think I plan these things out? Nope, it's just word vomit babyyyyyyyy)

Gaipa and Jim

Gaipa and Jim's central "conflict" is one sided feelings. Gaipa keeps trying to show his interest in Jim to no avail (Side Note: Poor Gaipa is out here thirsting after Jim, when Jim has owned this chicken shop for literal years and possibly knew Gaipa when he was a child/teen. He was never gonna see you as a romantic interest baby boy.) And part of that stems from, in my opinion, Gaipa refusing to really accept Jim's subtle rejections:

And partially Mrs. Hong reaffirming that her husband was the same way Jim was with her and she was just persistent. Either way, Gaipa is brave, puts his heart on the line, and straight up asks Jim if Jim could ever see him as a possible lover. And, honestly similarly to Alan which is perhaps why they work, Gaipa has a hard time separating himself from Jim after heartbreak. Still offering him the title deed and trying to affirm that he's not just doing it because he wants Jim to like him. But...because of his crush on Jim, Jim consumes a lot of Gaipa's life. Gaipa makes sure that Jim remembers his appointments, he organizes his bills and reminds Jim when his car insurance expires, he goes to the leasing office with him, etc. And if he is ever going to have a healthy relationship to Jim again, he needs to have some distance.

And at first, he is putting a lot of distance between himself and Jim, practically ignoring him when he comes by the chicken stall. And while that can be necessary for people, maintaining that level of distance is, in my opinion, unhealthy. Jim and Gaipa are not only friends, they are community members, and Jim's chicken shop relies on Gaipa's family business.

And then Gaipa swings wildly in the other direction being physically unable to get the space he needs from Jim due to the death of his mother.

He has no family left to cling to, so he clings to Jim. Jim holds him through the initial emotional reaction, Jim helps him with the funeral, Jim sits next to him during the service/ceremony and...

If Gaipa wants to have a healthy relationship to Jim after everything, then he not only needs to accept that Jim cares about him as family and will never love him romantically, but he also needs to accept Wen as Jim's love interest and he needs have firmer boundaries in his connection to Jim moving forward.

Resolution: Gaipa sees Jim refuse to exploit his feelings by taking the deed title from him, Gaipa sees Jim taking care of him in his worst moments, repaying the care that Gaipa has shown him throughout the show. Gaipa sees Wen, who is an acquaintance to him at best show up to his mother's funeral day after day, and not only show up but HELP out showing Gaipa that Wen is a good person who cares for the people around him regardless of how close they are. And then he sees the way Jim looks at Wen and Wen looks at Jim and knows that Jim has never looked at him like that.

Wen helping out and Gaipa seeing the way Wen and Jim look at each other affirms a few things. (1) Wen has become a part of the community and cares for the whole community, Gaipa included (2) Wen will not be leaving any time soon. (3) Jim is happy, Jim is in love and Jim will still be in Gaipa's life because Jim loves him too, just platonically. And that's what finally allows him to reject the invitation to the diner closing night so that Jim can spend his last evening in the shop with his family and allows him to come back at the end of the episode to Jim's new food truck so Jim can spend the last evening of the series with his community.

And we get a secondary resolution not for Gaipa's sake but for Mrs. Hong that it looks like sparks are flying between Gaipa and Alan at the end there. Because Mrs. Hong said before she died the only regret she had was that Gaipa hadn't found love. We can discuss 'pair the spare' trops all we want but giving Alan and Gaipa that connection also allows Mrs. Hong to rest with no regrets remaining.

Jam and Li Ming

I already discussed my general thoughts of the relationship between Jam and Li Ming in episode 7. Something I didn't talk about in that post though, was where Jam and Li Ming were in their last scene together at the end of episode 7.

There are approximately a million posts about food as love so I won't go in to that so much here because we all understand the significance of Jam cooking for Li Ming. What I do what to talk about is how this moment is the turning point that allows them to have a positive resolution at the end, and how it stems from Li Ming reaching out.

There are a few things that contribute, in my mind, to Li Ming re-hashing the conversation about his Mom getting re-married (1) the death of Mrs. Hong and Li Ming seeing how devastated Gaipa was at the loss of his mother (2) Jim finally seeing Li Ming as an adult and listening to him, thus relieving a lot of the frustration Li Ming had been feeling and also allowing Li Ming to understand that Jim is in his corner and Jim will make sure that Li Ming's decisions are honored. Around this dinner table Li Ming also learns that his mother and Jim ran away from home when they were around Li Ming's age, and his reaction?

This bright, beaming smile, the realization from Li Ming that Jim and Jam understand his dream to leave home. This is the first step, and if Jim hadn't finally accepted Li Ming's autonomy, if Jam had not listened to her brother, this first step might never have happened. But one meal does not repair years of damage.

If Jam and Li Ming are ever going to get to a loving relationship, if Li Ming wants to love his mother, then Jam needs to show up for Li Ming, listen to Li Ming, and Li Ming needs to be honest and to take the time to understand his mother not as a parent who failed him, but as a imperfect, complicated adult.

Resolution: The relationship repair that begins at the end of episode 7 carries through in to episode 8 (with a little bit of tomfoolery from Jim). Jam and Li Ming go shopping, talk more, and Li Ming is invited to visit Tong and Jam with his boyfriend. And honest conversations between the two of them happen all along the way. At the end of Moonlight Chicken Jam and Li Ming understand each other much better.

But why does this work?

First, Jam tries to connect to Li Ming, suggesting shoes that she thinks he might like. But because she doesn't know her son, it's not a pair he's interested in. There is a moment where she looks upset, like maybe she's losing him again, but its gone soon after. But what does Jam do in response? She takes Jim's advice and she lets Li Ming guide her. This time, more casually where she just watches Li Ming, sees him pick up the shoes, take a picture of them, and walk away. So she buys them for him, because she doesn't often get the chance to give Li Ming what he wants. What is important and poignant about it is not the purchase itself, it's that she is showing Li Ming that she sees him.

And furthering the olive branch Li Ming gives Jam a piece of himself. A piece of the chicken shop. A piece of his home. He gives her bubble tea too because as we know...food is love.

And because food is love, and Jam and Li Ming have re-centered themselves here in the mall, Jam and Li Ming are able to become the family they were supposed to be. They are able to share a table together

Jam is allowed to know about and meet Heart, Jim feels free enough to commit to Wen as a boyfriend, Li Ming feels comfortable talking to his mother about his plans to go to America while Heart studies there. She is allowed to be involved and because she is finally stepping up to become more involved Jam finally sees Li Ming for the first time.

Sees the way he looks at Heart, sees that he is responsible and ready and willing to work towards his goals, to pay back the money it requires to send him to America. She understands her son is becoming an adult, that queer love is just as strong and just as real. Sees why Li Ming fits better in Pattaya with Jim than he would with her.

Alan, Wen, and Jim

Now, one thing about me is that I love a good confrontation, so we know Moonlight Chicken fed me well with Alan. Alan is angry, and Alan is angry because he is unable to understand how and why a relationship that he had been in for six years suddenly fizzled out and died. Alan is desperate to find something, someone to blame, because the complicated factor in his relationship with Wen is that...there wasn't a good reason. Wen just...stopped being in love with Alan. And Alan can't get distance from that, from the grief of losing that relationship because he's still living with Wen, because he's still sharing a bed with Wen, because they've slept together at least once since they broke up, because Alan hasn't changed ("I've always been like this, you just stopped liking it") and he can't understand that Wen has.

And when Alan first meets Jim and connects the dots, he has all day to let his assumptions take root. He has all day to think the worst, and to let his anger take root in the face of another man. Alan loves Wen, so Alan cannot blame Wen. Alan loves Wen, so it must be someone else's fault. It must be Jim's fault. Jim wooed Wen, if Jim hadn't been around maybe Alan and Wen could still be together.

If Alan wants to move on from Wen, Alan needs to be able to accept that their relationship is over. And if Alan wants to remain friends with Wen, then he needs to be able to accept Jim. But Alan has strong feelings, and navigating those changes takes far more than an episode. And Alan not only feels his emotions very strongly, but he is also convinced that everything is Jim's fault, so the question throughout the show with Alan is will he be able to accept these things?

So we inch the needle forward, Wen sits Alan down, tells him his feelings, that there was a part of him that originally hoped they could make it work. But eventually he realized it couldn't. Wen no longer loves Alan, the fire between them has died.

This conversation gets us to the first step towards satisfying resolution when Wen ends up at Jim's doorstep. Finally allowing Alan to have some physical distance from Wen in order to process his emotions and start getting over Wen. But we know Alan takes it hard, spending New Year's Eve drinking, and gets into the accident. Wen drops everything to take care of Alan and Alan is able to see that even though Wen no longer loves Alan, romantically. He will never not care for him. But Alan is finally realizing that they need some separation:

Though Alan has a perfect opportunity here to try to Wen's heart back, with Wen being ready to take care of him, to help him with physical therapy and everything. Alan takes as many opportunities as he possibly can to take the responsibility of physically caring for Alan away from Wen. This is good. This is healthy.

But as much as Alan is finally starting to accept Wen and him are over as a couple, he is still convinced that Jim is the reason why they broke up. But Jim is nice, Jim understands where Alan's anger is coming from, and Jim helps Alan. Alan, who is surprised when Jim rushes over to pick up the crutch he dropped and offer to call him a ride.

Alan who keeps seeing these instances where Jim tries to stop a fight, where Jim just lets himself take the hit. Where he apologizes for "taking [Alan's] pen", where he doesn't try to put blame on Alan for not being able to separate personal feelings from professional work.

"Are you two now together?" "We still aren't," "If it hadn't been for you, we would not have broken up like this," "But I wasn't there back then, I have only known Wen for less than 6 months."

And it's the last thing Alan needs to hear, right from Jim's mouth, in order for him to finally let go of the hatred he's been harboring for this man. To finally embrace the reality that Wen simply fell out of love. And could this have come faster if Jim and Wen had just told Alan earlier that the timeline didn't work? Possibly, but I don't think Alan would have believed it before this point, because he had too much anger. Now that he has started to put some distance between him and Wen, now that he's starting to accept it, he is more willing to believe the truth.

Resolution: Alan accepts. He accepts his romantic relationship with Wen is over, leading to one of my favorite lines in the show.

He accepts that Wen is still his friend, and that if he wants to keep Wen in his life then that means being around Jim. But he has been nothing but antagonistic to Jim with every interaction of theirs.

So when Alan shows up at the food truck for his date uh, I mean totally platonic business meeting, calling Wen his friend, there is still a possibility that Jim will take issue with Alan hanging around. Lucky for him, Jim understands in part the anger Alan felt, he knows Wen cares for Alan, and Jim cares for Wen (and honestly also because Alan is another member of the queer community who more than likely lost his connection to the queer community when he broke up with Wen) Jim invites Alan to join everyone for dinner.

Jim and Li Ming

We know one of the bigger conflicts in this show is between Jim and Li Ming. Between Jim's need to protect his nephew from harm while struggling to see his nephew as a young adult instead of a child. The entire show is full of in-fighting between Jim and Li Ming, and it stems from a place of insecurity and fear for Jim, and a place of frustration from Li Ming about not being trusted to make decisions for himself, to understand potential consequences, to learn from mistakes, you name it.

And we see the struggles they go through…together, learning from one another. We see it time and time again. Li Ming and Jim spend half their scenes together arguing.

The conflict between Jim and Li Ming has always been about protection, about Jim understanding power and how it can be wielded against him. About Jim's fears for Li Ming, the way the world might hurt him, the way his confidence in himself may one day be taken from him.

And we understand the importance of that not from an uncle and nephew perspective but from the perspective of a queer elder acting as a role model for a queer youth.

Jim and Li Ming's relationship is fracturing, but it's not broken yet. Because there is so much love between them. Li Ming may be becoming an adult, but he is still young, he still looks up to his seniors, he still seeks them out for advice. He may want to move to America, but he doesn't want to lose his connection to his community. He still relies on them, he is still more than willing to give his honest thoughts and feelings, when he trusts that he will be respected.

Li Ming is still young, Li Ming will forgive easily, Li Ming just needs to be shown that he is being listened to, and he will go right back to having a positive relationship. Which means it is up to Jim to battle against his own paradigms, his own fears, his own trauma in order to ensure the fracture between him and Li Ming can heal.

And the beauty of Li Ming is that he feels safe and comfortable with Jim, which means, compared to his first interaction with his mother in episode 7, he has no problem voicing his opinion, loudly, and pushing back against Jim's propensity to cower. And every time Li Ming pushes it hits Jim somewhere personal:

"Can you just tell me honestly? Are you truly happy? Is running a Chicken Rice diner really your dream?"

"There must be boundaries" "If I'd become like Heart, you would do the same as Mrs. Jintana does, right?" "It's not the same," "If you have a friend who hasn't left the house in three years, and you were the only one who would take him out, would you do the same as I do?"

"Li Ming, I'm your Uncle," "So what? Adults can do no wrong? Adults can kiss, but kids cannot? Is it the wrong thing to do? Is the world coming to an end?" "Isn't it difficult enough to be born poor? And now you're gay?""So what? What's the big deal?"

If Jim wants to ensure that he and Li Ming maintain their strong relationship as Li Ming approaches adulthood, then Jim needs to answer these questions for himself and needs to see Li Ming as an adult.

Resolution:

In terms of seeing Li Ming as an adult, we get more of that resolution in episode 7. I think the lack of shame about his sexuality is what finally makes Jim see Li Ming as an adult. That he can accept this part of himself so easily, when Jim cannot. That Li Ming is aware that adults also make mistakes and Li Ming making his own mistakes does not inherently exclude him from being an adult. And my evidence for that is how quickly Jim switches sides. Li Ming leaves the house and then Jim and Jam are having a conversation where Jim says "You should ask [Li Ming] yourself". I'm going to skip over any deeper conversation re: episode 7 here because I already wrote about Jim and Li Ming in this episode. But I will say that at the end of episode 7 we have generally resolved the biggest issue: Jim now sees Li Ming as an adult.

In Episode 8, we as an audience get a second confirmation that Jim's mindset has shifted when he once again tells Jam "Li Ming should be able to decide what to do with his life." It tells us he meant it, it tells us he wasn't just saying that because he felt guilty for outing Li Ming, etc. But, because Jim has spent so much of his time trying to prevent Li Ming from making mistakes he needs to get on board with helping Li Ming through his mistakes instead. First step is accepting his role as a Queer Elder, which he does when he talks to Jam at the beginning of Episode 8:

"Whatever mistake [Li Ming] is making, he has me to give advice."

But that isn't the end of Jim and Li Ming's resolution because Jim and Li Ming both still have some course correction to do to fully repair their relationship after so many fights. And that is achieved merely by...talking over bubble tea, getting to know each other better, getting to redo their fights in the way they originally should have been handled. Through conversation:

___

"Are you tired Uncle Jim?" "I am, but I'm used to it,"

"I'm glad that you know what you like, and please know that you do nothing wrong,"

"But if you'd chosen to stay with some other relatives, your life might have been better," "No. Staying with you is the best,"

"Thank you, Uncle Jim, for everything," "Thank you too." "For what?" "For teaching me how to be more mature, even though you're still a kid."

___

This time, instead of asking if he's happy, Li Ming asks if Jim is tired. Li Ming is finally able to see how exhausting Jim's life is, having to constantly take care of everybody and everything around him. Jim is finally able to admit that he is tired, he can confide more in his nephew.

Jim is able to ask Li Ming when he knew he was gay, Li Ming is able to affirm just like Wen did, that Jim is not the reason he is gay, and Jim is able to share his happiness for Li Ming in knowing himself but also is able to reverse the "Isn't it difficult enough to be poor? Now you're gay?" comment by affirming to Li Ming that he is doing nothing wrong.

Jim is allowed to express his concerns about Li Ming having been raised in poverty, because he was raised by Jim and how some of the pressure and stress that Li Ming is under may have been avoided if he had simply chosen to live with other family. And Li Ming is able to affirm to Jim that he is the best, that living with him has been the best. That despite all their fighting, all the strain that they've had, he has never regretted his choice. And this admission hits particularly hard when considering the queer elder/queer youth relationship they also hold. Of course Li Ming might not have lived in as much poverty as he did with Jim. But also, he almost certainly would not have known himself, or have been as comfortable or as confident in himself if he had not been raised by a queer man.

And then the thank yous. Now, children are generally expected to be grateful, and to thank adults, so while it is still nice that Li Ming thanks Jim, the important part of this conversation is the fact that Jim thanks Li Ming in return. Letting Li Ming know that he is aware that he has not always been acting the most mature, and that Li Ming has helped him grow as a person too. Li Ming does not need to feel guilty ever about fighting with Jim. He does not need to feel guilty ever about standing up for himself, speaking his mind, or calling out injustice. In fact, that has helped Jim break free of the walls he has built around himself.

Knowing that Li Ming is still planning on going to America, and could potentially be there for years without going back home, it is absolutely vital that they have this conversation. It's a Going Away conversation. And it's very on the nose that almost immediately after Jim thanks him, Li Ming goes to leave. But he comes back, and he hugs Jim, and he says "I love you, Uncle". And to be that is P'Aof's way of saying, Li Ming may leave his family for the states, but he will return to his family. Whether that is permanently or just to visit, it doesn't matter. What matters is that Jim and Li Ming have weathered the storm, and Li Ming loves him at the end of all things.

Jim and Wen

Honestly, I thought about leaving Wen and Jim's couple resolution out of this post because there was never really any tension between them. What needed to be resolved here was Jim finally allowing himself to move forward, to heal from Beam, and he has been doing that for the entire show. Wen has just been waiting patiently nearby while Jim carves a hole through his walls with a kitchen knife. But there have been so many other stressors in Jim's life that have truly prevented him from going all in. He was too concerned about Li Ming, about the diner, about securing a loan, about Jam, about what he would do after this, about the death of Mrs. Hong. But throughout it, Wen has been there. He has seen Wen be stable, always show up, be patient, be empathetic, push where needed, listen where needed. Jim has seen Li Ming take to Wen, has seen Wen fold himself in to the community here. I honestly think it is the resolution Jim has with Li Ming that finally gives Jim the final push he needs to risk a new love with Wen. Because it is not until after everything else in Jim's life has been resolved: Gaipa knows what he is doing in the future and is no longer heartbroken over him, Jam has told him that she doesn't mind that Li Ming is gay and also she back down from making Li Ming move, Jim strengthens his relationship to Li Ming, Jim sells the diner, Jim buys the food truck. Then and only then, when Jim is sitting around the dinner table with his family is he able to say what we have all been waiting for:

"This is Wen, my boyfriend,"

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