#Mjrn

[megamog]

Final Fantasy XII Week - Day 4: "I won my freedom. Yet my past has been cut away forever."

[finestfantasyxii]

Art by Ryoma Ito for the Final Fantasy Trading Card Game.

[kaelkoth]

Yo voy a seguir adelante. Y seguiré adelante hasta cuando no haya un camino, hasta cuando todas las estrellas de Ozzi desaparezcan y en el firmamento no haya más que negro y vacío.

Mjrn en Define amor.

[srtapinklips]

[supernova-rsrcs]

*inhales agressively*

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

[agirlnamednix]

Many many years ago, a talented hunter named Maja was born to refugee parents from Golmore Jungle. In honor of their destroyed village, they named their child after it: Maja Tep. Little did they know that their old playmate from before the razing of their original home was traveling the world, a true hero in the making...bearing the twinsoul to their newborn child.

[treexsong]

I'll protect you it's okay to hurt I'll embrace the wounds you shed To me, you're already a sin You're already a sin (Yeah)

Light it up for me, brighter, more, please Light it up for me more brightly, even the dark night Doesn't scare me if I'm with you Even if I've seen it a hundred times, I still lack so much The scars of the wounds that covered my heart As if only you could notice them You were so warm when you hugged me tight I guess I teared up for a moment, because it was the first time

I'll protect you it's okay to hurt I'll embrace the wounds you shed To me, you're already a sin I can't refuse because you're sweeter than evil You can burst into flames, you can wound me next to you If you like, I can be anything Yeah, you can hurt me, I don't care, yeah, you can burn me Unlike those who run away from you, I'll embrace you

Like a volcano Love at a temperature that can melt when touched Take me to you, way below to the end of the ground It's okay if everything burns down Even if I go back hundreds of times, my choice is always

(You) So I can melt into you Hug my body even if it hurts, it's okay (Woah) Among the cold and harsh waves I need your heat you are my volcano

I'm the drought, you're rain, I'm paper, you're a poem Your attention changes the brightness of my empty heart, you're light Your arms, my home, my breath, my God You grabbed me when I was falling fly again My falling days were sorrow But after you appeared my lifted mouth corners won't come down Why, why, why, don't wanna go back, back, back To you, who shines the brightest among others I'll give you everything Every day, every day, every day I can feel you Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, I can't wait Wondering how your smile will brighten and make me laugh this time

I'll protect you it's okay to hurt I'll embrace the wounds you shed To me, you're already a sin I can't refuse because you're sweeter than evil You can burst into flames, you can wound me next to you If you like, I can be anything Yeah, you can hurt me, I don't care, yeah, you can burn me Unlike those who run away from you, I'll embrace you

Like a volcano Love at a temperature that can melt when touched Take me to you, way below to the end of the ground It's okay if everything burns down Even if I go back hundreds of times, my choice is always

I can't live without you you're the only one, even if I die Even if I'm reborn over and over again, it's only you I want to give only to you my heart is burning When I'm thinking of you, my mind is

Like a volcano Love at a temperature that can melt when touched Take me to you, way below to the end of the ground It's okay if everything burns down Even if I go back hundreds of times, my choice is always

So I can melt into you Hug my body even if it hurts, it's okay (Woah) Among the cold and harsh waves I need your heat you are my volcano

[megamog]

Final Fantasy XII Week - Day 6: Family

[srtapinklips]

Sounds like home

The feminine urge to CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES GRIND THEIR BONES INTO DIRT MAKE THEM REGRET THEY WERE EVER BORN

[delugedecade]

New Muses: Miscellaneous Franchise

Cartoons

Jessica Rabbit (WFRR) Chel (TRtED) Kidagakash "Kida" Nedakh (A:TLE)

Final Fantasy XII

Mjrn Jote Princess Ashelia B'Nargain Dalmasca

Hentai

Asagi "The Almighty Taimanin" Igawa Sakura "The Tomboy Taimanin" Igawa Murasaki "The Undying Taimanin" Yatsu Ingrid "Hell Knight Ingrid"

Farah (LoQO)

[freeusemuses]

So, how many of your muses secretly have a plushy they still sleep with?

Secretly? None of them. Everyone of them that sleeps with a stuffed plushie is by no means secretive about it.

Rouge has a stuffed Ursa from his gran-gran.

Drake’s stuffed Ursa is from his mother.

Nadûr has a Saber Cat plush. But Korrin claimed it, so he cuddles Korrin now.

Saphora has a stuffed dragon that squeaks.

Zion has a plush of Bahamut. Yuffie, Mjrn, and sometimes Y'sholta will steal it.

Lace has dozens of Pokémon plushies. Of course, they end up in Charlie's possession almost immediately after he returns to the hotel.

And finally I have 2 teddy bears I still sleep with. The bigger of the two I got from my Uncle Desmond. The smaller is from my biological mother (was adopted at 4 days old). And is the only thing I have from her.

[levin-stepper]

Boudoir photoshoot of Talaani. Thanks again Mjrn for helping me out with this!

[tenebriism]

Admittedly, that entire ordeal had been... CHAOS. Mentally, physically, emotionally for himself and everyone around him. Had he any recollection of the moments leading up to it, during, and even AFTER, they were foggy, at best, mayhap because he oft endeavored NOT to remember them if he could. The pieces were better left scattered, for there is no small amount of SHAME to be had in his foolishness and his recklessness.

Yet, she does not BLAME him for it. She does not scold him, and had never left him alone to deal with the consequences. Only has she ever sought to UNDERSTAND him, and to help him with an internal war he had tried so hard to fight all on his own, only to be swallowed by the overwhelming pain of it all.

" ... I do not deserve such words, " he mutters, knowing she will DISAGREE with him. Likely, she knows their differing stances shan't sway him any, for he shall always be unfathomably HARD on himself, when secretly, he yearns for a softness he has scarcely been shown to balance it out. The woman who stands before him, caressing his face and easing creases once thought to be PERMANENT, seems more than willing to be just that. " Your heart is just that good... it always has been. A purity near blinding, radiant... I've yet to figure out how it does not BURN me. It only draws me to you further, when once, I had tried so hard to deny myself of it to a point it hurt... "

The HEART takes permanent residence on the backburner when it comes to survival. It is hard to understand, and nigh impossible to satisfy or quell. It yearns for much and more and it has no PLACE amongst other priorities like strength, skill, resilience...

" I pray I, by some gracious miracle, continue to be worthy of your love. I want to be better... strive to be, in honor of the second chance at life I was only given because of you. " And many others, of course, like Aymeric and Alphinaud, but he knows he would not still be here were Mjrn not resolute in staying in his corner, as well.

His eyes are gentle as he beholds her, somehow softening even further than when they'd first decided to turn this evening into a sentimental occasion, and as he leans in to seize her lips, the husky utterance of an " I love you, too " eases from betwixt his own.

The gentle caress of his thumb across her cheek was enough to help her relax further, and a small smile crept against her lips. Estinien's words brought her more comfort than Mjrn had anticipated, and it nearly brought her to tears once more when he pulled away his hand only to bring her closer. Tucking back her ears, she leaned into his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso, his warmth easing the tension in her muscles.

Bright blue eyes closed in contentment at the feeling of his arms holding her, wanting to bask in the moment forever. Even the rhythm of his heartbeat soothed her. His question of why prompted her to lift her head, noticing he didn't meet her gaze. Soon, she lifted both hands to cup his face and gently coaxed him to look at her.

"Perhaps I should reword my previous statement. I realized how much you meant to me when you broke free from Nidhogg's grasp, begging me to kill you." She paused briefly, closing her eyes slowly before opening them once more. "Do you remember what I told you…? When I rushed to remove the eyes from you along with Alphinaud?"

If he failed to recall, Mjrn's expression would grow tender and loving. "I told you I would rather die than lose you too, that you were important to me." There was another pause as she allowed the Elezen to remember that moment. "You claim you are not a good man, but I disagree. While it is true that you can be fiercely stubborn and aloof, you are also kind, loyal, and honest. I have seen firsthand how much you have grown since we met, and words cannot describe how proud I am to be your friend and ally."

Her thumbs caressed his sharp cheekbones sweetly, her eyes crinkling with affection and warmth. "I fell in love with you because of who you are, and I accept you, flaws and all."

[tarnishedxknight]

FFXII Week ~ Day 4 Prompt: "I won my freedom. Yet my past has been cut away forever."

{out of dalmasca} Disclaimer: This post may include canon-divergent interpretations of canon characters, info about OCs featured on this blog, and AUs that may not align with the canon plot/characters of FFXII and/or may contain triggering material.

- - - - - - - - - -

This quote was spoken to Mjrn by Fran, but its concept can be applied to several other characters in FFXII. It plays into a common and prominent theme of the game, that of one's identity, and how it can be related to or affected by one's past. Let's discuss how some characters have found freedom, whether long-term or temporary, total or personal, by cutting ties with their past and thus, their former identities.

Fran

Fran left the Wood and gained freedom to go anywhere she wished, but lost her people and culture in the process. She was forced to cut ties with her former life, and we're never fully told the reason why. Either she was forced out for a significant reason, or she had strong personal reasons for wanting to leave. Returning briefly with Ashe & Co. as part of their journey to help Ashe reclaim her throne, Fran is confronted with a crisis involving her sister, Mjrn. When Mjrn expresses a desire to also leave the Wood permanently and to go with Fran, Fran responds with:

"I have discarded Wood and village. I won my freedom. Yet my past has been cut away forever. No longer can my ears hear the Green Word. This solitude, you want, Mjrn?"

It is clear that, since she doesn't decide to stay (even if she would have been permitted to), Fran still stands by her decision to leave. However, it is just as clear that there are regrets that come along with that decision, and that sacrifices had to be made for her to leave the Wood and her people.

Balthier

Leaving his father and Archadia, Balthier gained the freedom to decide his own profession and destiny in life, but had to change his name and break from his family to do it. His was perhaps the most striking freedom of all, becoming a sky pirate and taking to the skies in an airship, bound for wonders and treasures and adventure. That he loves that sort of life and has willingly chosen it is clear to see, but the shadow of his father and his former life in Archadia follows him wherever he goes. Such a clean break from his former life would not have been possible without cutting ties to family, title, and name, but it also left unfinished business behind. Despite being the picture of a free individual, Balthier couldn't truly find his own until his ties to the past had been completely severed.

Ashelia

As the princess of a patriarchal nation that has never had a queen before, Ashelia's life had been mapped out for her as a young child. She was told what she could and could not do, where she could and could not go, who she was going to marry, and how she ought to behave. The reality of her situation (time for some of my own headcanons here, heh) was that, had she remained married to Rasler, she would have become his Queen Consort and gone to live in Nabradia, not become the Queen of Dalmasca.

Ashelia was never really an heir to the throne of Dalmasca, not culturally speaking, because one of her eight brothers was supposed to be. Dalmasca had only ever had kings, after all. Raminas' long-term plan was to join his kingdom to Nabradia, and by marrying Ashe to Rasler, ensure that Nabradia would govern Dalmasca as well after his death, with Rasler one day essentially becoming king of both kingdoms. This was something she was not aware of, mostly because Raminas danced around the subject with her, because he knew she would be incensed and heartbroken to find it out. Being left as Raminas' only child and the only one who could possibly have the right to take the throne after he too was gone, Ashelia found herself in a position to become Queen that she was never meant to be in. But because she didn't know that, she carried on as if, yes, she was the true heir.

However, that life, and her life as Queen of Dalmasca after the end of the game, means a continued stifling of her freedom. Even with her being the last living heir to throne and then eventually sitting on it, her life would still be very sheltered, regimented, and controlled by her counsel, her duties, her station, etc. As Penelo states in her letter:

"Ashe's coronation is next month. She grows farther and farther away from us... but I guess that's how it has to be. She is queen now, after all."

The really sad thing about all of this is... she had more personal freedom, agency, and anonymity as “Amalia” than she ever did as a princess or that she does as a queen, and that was because she was thought to be dead and was no longer known as royalty. The more of her true identity and past she regained and reconnected with, the more freedom she lost. Being royalty is a double-edged sword, after all. One has wealth, privilege, and everything they could ask for materially speaking, but one lacks personal freedom, privacy, and ability to express their own personality outside of what is seen as proper or expected of them.

Larsa

Larsa experiences a brief bout of his own grasp of personal freedom for a time by giving Gabranth the slip and becoming “Lamont.” However, like Ashelia, he had to give up his royal identity to do it or else he would immediately lose that freedom. Granted, his alias and fake identity were seen through fairly quickly, but for a short while, by temporarily erasing his past as a Lordling of Archadia, Larsa was able to travel and do whatever he wanted. That was sadly probably more freedom he'd ever had in the whole of his young life up to that point.

Basch

Basch escaped the devastation of Landis, rejected the empire that destroyed her, and was able to make a new life for himself in Dalmasca, but had to abandon his family and lose his identity as a twin to do it. Perhaps childish arrogance, anger, or grief forced Basch to break away and reject Archadia's extension of help to the refugees of Landis, but regardless of the reason, he was able to build a new life for himself, and a happy one at that, until he was framed for his king's murder. The cost of that, though, was that he left behind his twin brother and mother. That part of his identity stayed buried until Noah forced him to acknowledge it openly by framing him, but by then it was too late.

Being framed earned Basch the hatred and scandal of the general public's judgement of him, making him a despised figure throughout all of Ivalice. When he impersonates a deceased Noah at the end of the game, he frees himself from that ruined reputation of his former life. He can never go back to being Basch, or a knight, or Dalmascan. There is freedom to be found in that, for now he is no longer hated for killing King Raminas and has a new life to live, a clean slate for himself if you will, but the cost was staggering. He lost not only his past but his entire identity in the process.

Noah

Noah/Gabranth joined the empire that destroyed his homeland, rose through the ranks, changed his name, and built a new life for himself, but he had to reject his Landisian side and the brother he’d been so close to in order to do it. Landis is gone, he always says, and that is as much as acknowledge fact as it is him telling himself that he's done with his former homeland. Archadia becomes his home, his mother's maiden surname of Gabranth becomes his own, and he leaves behind the person he once was. It's a kind of freedom and personal agency he gains by doing this, but he also loses his identity as a twin, a Ronsenburg, and a Landisian. Although that seems to not bother him at all, statements like, "I've no right to be called by that name," when referring to his given name of "Noah" remind us that he does hold some affection, nostalgia, or love for his former life and family, whether he wants to admit it openly or to himself or not. He builds himself up into something grand in Archadia, but the cost is that he can never go back to who he was before.

Caelen

My FFXII OC, Caelen B'Nargin Dalmasca, one of Ashelia's brothers, was thought to have died with all the rest. It was thought that he'd fallen in battle, but his body was never recovered. That's because, after being wounded and mistaken for a fallen Archadian, he was taken to the Imperial City of Archades. Deciding to use this unfortunate mixup as an opportunity to leave his old life, Caelen disappeared into Old Archades, where he eventually became a blacksmith. He didn't want to be King of Dalmasca someday, or fight in the war, or anything like that. He was a peaceful, gentle sort who only wanted a quiet, simple, and pacifistic life. Unfortunately, he was never going to be permitted to have that as a Prince of Dalmasca. Cutting ties with his old life forever, Caelen certainly won his freedom, but he could never go back, and he could never tell anyone who he really was ever again.

Concluding Thoughts

This quote and its meaning also ties in with the idea of cages from the quote from the Day 3 prompt: "Even caged birds need wings." We are placed in, or we place ourselves in, many different types of cages as we move through life. We become bound by our words and actions which become our reputations. Attached to us and our identities, we can never be free of them... unless we cut ties with the past. Perhaps there is freedom to be found in that, an escape from those cages we've spent a lifetime creating or having built around us, but the consequence is that, to truly be free of them, we have to leave everything behind and start again. Sometimes that's what's necessary, or it's the lesser of two evils. But sometimes, the cost is great, and we have to ask ourselves: which are we more frightened of, being trapped in cages forever, or losing sight who we are?

[graha-stan-account]

Once Bitten, Twice Shy: Day 11

Once bitten, twice shy: idiomatic. A person who has failed or been hurt when trying to do something is careful or fearful about doing it again. 

Present; Napha and Dajhir are on a sibling date in La Noscea. Once they get past bickering, Dajhir finally opens up a bit about his recent past.

FFXIVWrite 2023 Masterlist

--- 

The moon was high over Camp Bronze Lake, the odd raindrop plunking down into the mineralized waters of the hot springs as the distant crickets of late summer renewed their song. 

"I know you think I'm a fool." K'dajhir turned away from the moon, facing his sister. "A harlot." He tilted his head. "As someone so straight-laced, it must be embarrassing for you." 

"I can't tell if you're putting yourself down, or putting me down." J'napha propelled herself along the floor of the spring toward him. 

"Neither. I survived a Calamity. What care should I have for the opinions of others?" He shrugged. "Don't you wonder why I changed my name?" 

"I do. And when I asked you told me to 'nevermind about that.'" 

"Because it's a long story. One that's apt to get my words all tangled and," he sighed heavily, "it's a lot." 

"So is this you telling me now, or," she gestured behind her with a thumb, "shall I towel off?" 

"Full glad am I of your interest." He narrowed his eyes at her. "'Tis a better tale than the one of why you changed your name, though I'm sure Mother would love to hear it." 

Napha rolled her eyes. "Those traditions used to mean something to some of us, Dajhir. Doesn't mean I'm above putting necessity before pride." 

"Oh, yes," he said with a sneer. "A matter of survival, most definitely. Ph." 

"You don't remember what it was like."

"I do," he said, his words heavy as an anchor. "You haven't been back though... have you?" 

Napha looked away, lips tightly pursed, silent. 

"Mm." K'dajhir nodded, having obtained the answer he expected. "Little Napha, slayer of primals, liberator of nations, Warrior of the newly-found Big Mouth, can't bear to show her face at home." 

"You left first."

"I had to. There was no future for me there, and no reason to go back." 

"You said the same of me." 

"I did, but they'd be proud of you." He looked down, adding a flippant slight: "Well, perhaps if you hadn't changed your name, Ja'napha." 

"What of you? Ran off to join a stronger tribe? Ashamed after proclaiming you'd toss it all away? After you swore up and down you'd be a city boy, an adventurer or what have you, only to run back to what's familiar?"

"I did not go back to tribe life. I was serious when I said I didn't want that. I'm just..." he seemed uncomfortable. "Sentimental. I knew you wouldn't understand." 

"Wouldn't understand? How can I even try if you don't explain?" 

K'dajhir sighed heavily. 

Napha insisted with a flare of her eyebrows. 

"His name was Mjrn." K'dajhir bit his lip and turned back to face the moon's soft glow. "I met him in Coerthas, a time after the Calamity. He was a hired guide for a band of adventurers I happened to cross paths with. They were making their way south toward the Rhotano Sea." He peeked at her, placing a hand on his chest. "Me, in the frigid wastes?" He let loose a nervous little laugh "Mjrn knew before I did I was half frost-bitten."

"l'm still not seeing..." 

"His mountain name, as he called it, was Kallvjnd." A smile split his face. "By the time we reached the coast, we chose to be bonded together. Nothing fancy. I adapted his surname to my name, because... I wanted everyone to know he was mine." He paused for a moment, staring into the dark water. "He wanted to do the same. Tribal Viera change their names when they settle somewhere new, did you know? He wanted to use my given name for his surname."

Napha stifled a laugh, unsure if it was appropriate. 

"Oh, trust that I explained that to him." A chuckle escaped. "The fool used it anyway." 

"Dajhir..."

"That's the thing with you adventurers. You're so damn good at leaving an impression, but you don't stick around long, do you? You take too many risks - and trust me I love you for it, I do - but," his ears bent back and his look of determination wavered, "loss either hardens you or softens you. I haven't decided which I am yet." 

"I'm sorry." 

K'dajhir smiled, his eyes sparkling with a glassy sheen. "Do not be. Out of it, there's things I've learned. Life is short, for instance. So have that drink... kiss that boy." He moved forward, grasping her by the shoulders, giving her a little shake. "Oh Napha, can't you see? I'm still looking for romance! I'm just not looking for love. That path, I've walked it – it's lovely –but it hurts too much to go bounding down again. Instead, I live for the day now. So I don't let them break my heart when they go. And I don't think Mjrn would begrudge me for that. I still wear his name, after all."