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cardierreh15 · 1 year

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Post Human

A new series I’m working on since I’ve fallen in love with TLOU again. Except, August is alive with his baby brother, Mike 🩵

** I do not give anyone permission to repost or copy my work!!!

Warning 18+: Cursing , Crude/Dark Humor , Family Drama? , Mentions Of Death .

Pairing: August Walker x Roslyn (Black!Female OC)

Special Guests: Joel Miller(Father Figure) , Ellie Williams (Sister/Best Friend) , Mike Walker (August’s Little Brother)

Description: This is Only the beginning.

Word Count: 4.9K

TagList: @suckthatskittlebiiitch @drewharrisonwriter @headcannonxgalore @misshinson @kingliam2019 @imaslutforcuddles

The tiny snowflakes melted instantly once they kissed the warmth of her face. She was looking up at the stars, something she did every night. Wondering what was out there. Sure, in school they taught her about the planets, the sun, how vast space really could be. And unlike the others, who were freaked out about the eerie thought about being in this universe alone, she was intrigued and wonderous.

‘Ros!’ A voice called out to her.

A voice that made her eyes light up and her lips pull up into a shit eating grin. Roslyn carefully crawled over to the edge of the roof and peered down.

There stood her sister and her best friend, Ellie Williams.

She had her hands on her hips, with an unsurprised look on her face.

‘You’re back! Took you long enough!’ she called out as she let out a breath in relief. Just glad that her partner was alright. Ellie was one of the best damn Herding Masters in Jackson. Taught by the best, their father figure, Joel Miller, the three of them were like a death squad.

But if this life hasn’t taught them anything, it did teach them that tomorrow was never promised. The cordecyps were advancing and becoming more formidable with time. They thought they were careful enough already. Pretty soon they’d have to figure out how to fly!

‘Come down! I have to tell you about patrol!’

‘On my way!’

Once Roslyn made it down safely from the roof of the cabin she was bunking with Ellie, she walked over to her and the two young women embraced in a soul tying hug. Ellie broke the hug to look at her sister in a concerned glare, ‘You good? You never hold me that long.’

Letting out a gentle sigh, her breath disappearing in the cool air, ‘Nothing. I’m just happy to see that you’re OK Ellie. Ever since Maria split us up into separate patrol groups, I feel like no one has your back like I do.’

Ellie shoved her hands in her pockets and chuckled, ‘Yeah. You know,’ she turned to walk, which then led Roslyn to accompany her, ‘We do make a great team. They just can’t trust us when we’re out there like that. We like to fuck around and find out.’

The two girls laughed together as Roslyn zipped up her thick coat, ‘Well shit we get the work done don’t we?! Might put ourselves and others in danger but, we’re still kicking.’

‘Might as well have some fun before we die huh?’ Ellie snickered as they approached the pub.

When they came back from patrols, they always took one another to the bar to relieve a little bit of stress and talk about the ugly sights they’ve seen. It’s become such a routine, anybody working the bar that day, always had their drinks ready for them before they even walked through the door.

So it was a little bit of a surprise when nobody was at the bar when they walked inside. There were a few folks sitting in the booths. Enough to count on one hand really. Which itself wasn’t really shocking but who was going to serve them?

‘Hey-yoooo!’ Roslyn called out as she pulled a stool out to sit upon, ‘Anybody there?’

‘Ding, Ding!’

An unfamiliar woman came from the back room pushing her hair out of her face with an aggravated sigh. She then placed her hands flat on the wooden counter; her crystal blue eyes looking at both of the girls. Her southern accent was thick as over processed molasses, ‘What can I do you for?’

Ellie’s eyebrows tugged into one and then looked over at Roslyn.

Roslyn looked over at Ellie in a bit of concern before she spoke. ‘Where’s Seth?’

‘Oh.’ The lady chuckled out, pushing herself off of the counter and picked up two glasses, ‘That fool called out sick. Talkin’ bout some damn stomach bug. Should be back tomorrow..’ she walked over to the sink, ‘If he aint shit his guts out already.’

Roslyn covered her mouth with her hand and hid her face as Ellie sucked in her lips into a fine line to keep from laughing.

‘Y’all ain’t ever tell me what ya’ wanted. Ion read minds.’ The woman spoke up and dried out the glasses with a kitchen cloth as she turned to face them once again.

‘I’ll take a Jack Daniel’s on the rocks.’ Ellie said.

Roslyn raised her brow and snapped her head over at her sister who just looked a little bit more stressed out than usual. It would probably be best for her to do the same, just in case there were to be some heavy news.

‘I’ll have what she’s havin’.’ And the lady got right to it.

As she made their drinks, Roslyn couldn’t help but wonder what was swimming around in that thick skull of hers. She sat there in silence as her sister fiddled with her thumbs and started to bite the inside of her lip. Something was really bothering her.

When the lady placed their glasses in front of them, Ellie didn’t bother to toast her drink but instead just began to knock it back like it was water.

‘Whoa- hey!’ Roslyn said as she grabbed her wrist with her free hand as she gripped her whiskey glass in the other hand.

‘What?’ Ellie asked as she looked over at Roslyn and then at the bar lady. ‘Just… shit.’ She added as she placed her now empty glass on the wooden countertop.

Roslyn clenched her jaw together and narrowed her eyes before looking over at the lady, ‘Could we have some privacy please? Thanks.’

The lady gave them a simple nod, ‘Sure. From the looks of it, y’all definitely need it.’

Roslyn then turned in her seat to face Ellie head on. ‘What the fuck is going on?’

‘What?’ Ellie mumbled as she looked at the intricate detailing and patterns on the whiskey glass.

‘What the– What do you mean “what?”?! We come here damn near every two days and I’ve never seen you take down a drink like that… let alone whiskey! What’s going on with you?’

Ellie sighed softly before pressing her lips together and looking ahead. ‘I uh-... We slipped today.’ She said before finishing up the rest of her drink.

Ros raised a brow, turning her head to the side as if she needed to hear her better, ‘Meaningggg…’ she trailed off

‘Chad. We were uh… ambushed by some fucking sociopaths today. Didn’t know who they were but they didn’t operate like us. Those motherfuckers…’ she leaned in closer to Roslyn, ‘These em-effers were just as bad as Stalkers.’ She whispered.

Yeah, now was a good time for Roslyn to start sipping on her whiskey. She knew that this was going to get a little uncomfortable.

Once she finished her long sip, she placed it on the coaster and sighed out, ‘Infected sociopaths… I swear this shit just gets better and better.’ She said in a mocking tone.

‘Aah don’t be a dick, Ros. These were completely fully- able human beings. But what I was saying before you had to butt in… they operated differently. Very stealthy. I didn’t even hear the fuckers get the jump on us! And the way they communicated… in whistles. Man, it was fucking weird.’

Roslyn took another sip of her drink and looked at her sister, ‘Well I mean… when mother Earth betrayed her inhabitants she thought it would be fun for these motherfuckers to be echolocators too… So maybe they’re doing something right.’

‘I beg the differ. Anyway, back on topic- Chad. Chad basically got shot in the face.’ She grumbled.

Roslyn was in the middle of finishing off the rest of her whiskey when she choked on the warmth in her throat. But she was able to force down the rest of the liquid before coughing her way back to air.

Ellie patted her back roughly as she looked around, ‘Hey, hey– look. He’s fine. They said is going to make a full recovery. Just glad their aim was off a little bit.’

Roslyn placed her hand on her chest as she focused on getting her breathing back in order. Her and Chad had gotten well acquainted since he’s been here. He was another person Maria sought to move from patrolling with Ros because he was a distraction.

And a distraction he was!

‘Fuck! See no, I-I need to go talk to Maria.’ She said as she stood up.

‘For what? Ain’t like she gone let you talk her into going back on patrols with me.’

‘It’s not about that!’ She paused.

Ellie stared up at her with a bleak glare in her eyes and a soft smirk on her lips.

‘Maybe it is. But, look – what happened to him is exactly why we can't do this splitting up shit. You could’ve died. Then what would I have to tell Joel?’

Ellie let out a gentle sigh as she began to play with her fingers once more. She was feeling a little bit discouraged and at fault for their friend’s injury. And being that they were the best of friends, Ros caught on to that immediately and began to nip that bud before it turned into a weed.

‘Aht, aht. No ma’am! Look, Ellie. I know what you think is right. Listening to Maria and all her bullshit calls and what not. But I can’t protect you from here. And vice versa. You remember when we went into town and crushed that nest?! Me, you, Joel and Tommy? We’re more than just a team. We’re family. I want my qual buddy back. Come on. Whaddya say?’

Ellie shook her head slowly with a knowing smirk on her face as she folded her arms across her chest.

‘Weeeeell.’ Ros sang as she leaned in.

‘Fine, fine! Fuck it. But if she asks who’s idea this was because you know she will ask, I’m going to say it was yours and you drug me there by my damn ponytail.’

The two girls laughed together before Ellie stood up and they walked out of the bar and back out into the night’s cold air once again.

They’d barely made it to Maria’s when panicked shouting filled the air. The girls immediately turned to the fence, their hands on their holsters just in case shit got sticky.

‘Aw shit.’

‘What now?’

Finishing one another’s sentences. They hung around one another way too much.

Coming through the gate were two men. The smaller one had his arm draped over the larger one’s shoulder, his gray shirt soaked in fresh blood. His head drooped forward but his free hand was resting on his torso. That was a good sign. He was still alive. But not for much longer if he didn’t seek medical attention.

‘Shit.’ Roslyn hissed at the gruesome sight.

‘MEDIC! WHERE’S THE DAMN SURGEON!?’ Maria called out, quickly strutting her way towards the gate.

‘Here she comes… wanna say something now?’ Ellie said with a smirk before she folded her arms across her chest.

‘Ellie, your timing is shit. Clearly this kid is dying we–’

‘Maria! Ros and I would like to talk to you about something important.’

Maria cut between them in a hurry and the girls followed suit. ‘If it has anything to do with patrol, don't bother. My decision has been made.’ She then wrapped the young man’s free arm around her shoulder and the pair basically carried him to the stretcher that had been brought to them.

Roslyn let out a sigh and looked over at her sister who had this look of “I told you so!” on her smug face.

‘W-what if I told you it’s not about patrol?’

‘Then.’ Maria sighed out heavily as they carefully laid the kid out on the stretcher, ‘I’d call you a liar.’ She stood up straight and gave Rachel the green light to wheel him off. The brother tried to follow but Maria stood in his place.

‘What are you doing?! I have to go with my brother!’ He tried to step around her but she stepped in his way again.

‘First of all.’ She raised her hand before him.

‘Uh-Oh.’ Ellie snickered.

Roslyn pressed her lips together and shook her head.

‘You are in my establishment. I think I deserve to know who the hell you are..’ She let out a gentle breath and continued on, ‘What are you and your brother's names?’

He let out a shuddered breath before continuing, ‘August. My brother’s name is Mike.’

‘Well… August. Your brother is in the best care. Meet me at the mess hall at 1900. There’s a lot to discuss. For now, go meet my husband Tommy by the pub. He’ll show you around.’

August gave her a gentle nod before he watched her walk over to the two girls that stood side by side. Then, he looked at her.

And she looked at him.

He was tall, probably standing at 6ft even, his dark slightly messy hair complimented the brightness in his tired blue orbs. The bags that were beneath them were slightly dark, a telltale sign that he hadn’t been receiving a lot of sleep. He sported a thick bushy mustache that warmed his lips. They were pink, full of life. So at least he wasn’t dying from thirst.

He was handsome to say the least.

‘As for you two.’ Maria’s voice brought Roslyn out of her thoughts, ‘Come with me.’

Roslyn and Ellie stepped apart for Maria to cut through and she walked in the direction of her house.

The girls looked at one another and gave each other a gentle shrug. They couldn’t be in that much trouble. Not like it was when they were kids. These days they never snuck out, they kept their head’s low and always listened to their higher ups. So what was it that Maria wanted from them today?

The girls walked into Maria’s cabin after her and saw Joel sitting on the sofa.

‘Joel!’ The girls called out in sync and rushed over to greet their father in a tight hug.

‘Girls! Well ain’t it good to see you!’ He then placed kisses atop their heads before he broke the hug to get a good look at them.

‘Why didn’t you tell us you were back?! When did you get back?’ Ellie asked concerned.

‘I just got back a few hours ago. You weren’t here and Ros was nowhere to be found. On that roof again huh?’

‘Yup.’ Ellie smirked and elbowed her sister, ‘Right where I found her.’

Joel gave the girls a smile and nodded, ‘Right. That’s why I ain’t come botherin’ you.’

‘Ros!’ Maria called.

Roslyn looked back over her shoulder, ‘Yes?’

‘Come here. I got something for you.’ She gave her a gentle and reassuring smile before backing up into the room behind her.

She looked from Maria to Joel who in turn gave her a nod for her to proceed. She then walked in the room Maria walked in.

The young woman took a moment to take in her surroundings. The place was stacked in different kinds of fabrics and quilts. It made her smile to know that beneath that hard exterior, Maria genuinely cared about her people and would work day and night to make sure they were warm before anything else. ‘I didn’t know you taken upon sowing.’

Maria chuckled as she sat down on a wooden stool, looking through what had seem to be a stack of silk. ‘You never asked me either. Ain’t no need to tell if it ain’t brought up.’

‘Well, I’ll sleep better at night knowing that you’re actually a big ole softie.’

Maria pulled out a folded up piece of cloth, walked over to Roslyn and held it out.

Roslyn pulled her brows together, ‘What’s this?’

‘Open it up. You’ll see.’

She didn’t like Maria’s sneaky antics. But she was also a fan of surprises. So she quickly unfolded the thick pink silk and gasped softly.

‘A bonnet?!’

The hem of the bonnet had her name sown in the color yellow. She ran her thumb over the threading and looked up at Maria. She was at a loss of words.

Maria laughed joyously, ‘Yes! You know about them?’

She smiled softly as she subconsciously ran her fingers through her pretty braids. ‘Yeah, Tasha told me about ‘em! She mentioned them lookin’ sumn like a mushroom top. No over exaggeration there.’

‘It does.’ Maria smiled, ‘But now you can preserve your braids a little longer if you have them covered and protected in your sleep.’

‘This is awesome!’ Roslyn grinned down at the engraving and let out a somber, unsure sigh, ‘Maria I can’t take this.’ She felt bad. Knowing the kind of hell she was bound to put her through in the next few moments.

‘Of course you can. It has your name on it. It’s yours.’

‘Wh—‘

Maria gave the girl a stern motherly glare. The look of “You’re gonna take it, and you’re going to like it.”

‘Alright, mom.’ She chuckled and folded up the silky cloth and stored it in her back pocket.

‘Good. So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?’ She asked as she folded her arms and leaned against the sewing table.

‘Well…m—‘ Roslyn was hesitant. She already knew what the answer was going to be but she had to ask anyway. She felt that maybe if she nagged enough, Maria would eventually cave in.

‘I—‘ she let out another sigh, ‘Ellie and I wanted to inquire about being paired up with patrols again.’

Maria let out a tired groan and rubbed her face, ‘Oh God, Roslyn—‘

‘Aw, c’mon Maria! Look, Ellie told me about what happened with Chad today! That wouldn’t have ever happened if it was me and her! You know that!’

‘No! I don’t know that! Roslyn, I split the both of you up for a reason—‘

‘A reason I can’t understand! We protect each other no matter the cost.’

‘Let. It. Go, Roslyn. It’s not happening.’

The tension in the room grew thick enough to touch, and the quietness. It was unsettling.

‘Fine.’ She barked, ‘Ain’t giving back this bonnet either.’ She added before spun around and walked out of the bedroom.

She quickly stormed out of the house but not before Ellie could ask if she was alright. And by her silent answer, that told her everything she needed to know.

Ellie turned to Joel, ‘She said no.’

***

Roslyn ran smack into the chest of Tommy who immediately caught her, ‘Whoa, whoa kiddo.’ He placed his hands on her shoulders to keep her from falling over. ‘Ya good?’

She looked up at her uncle with a gentle pout, ‘No. But I’ll be fine. I guess.’

Tommy let her go and landed a few firm pats on her shoulder, ‘Maria?’

‘You know it.’

‘Hmph. She ain’t soften the blow?’

‘Does she ever?’

‘Would she be my wife if she did?’

Roslyn smirked at the smartass remark, ‘Yeah. Sure know how to pick ‘em.’ She mocked.

Tommy chuckled before he had come to realization. The new guy, was standing behind him. ‘Oh. You meet August? He’s gone be the new guy roun’ here.’

‘Not exactly. I was standby when Maria ripped another hole in his ass.’

Tommy chuckled and nodded, ‘Sounds bout right. August! This is Roslyn Mitchell. She’s one of the top Herding Masters here and sumn like a niece to me.’

‘Somethinnnggg?’ She mocked, rolling her big brown eyes.

‘Issss! Now, gone head and take him down to the pub. Heard Seth wasn’t here to shit out his mouth so, y’all should be good.’ He then placed a warm kiss on her head. Enough to combat the brisk air outside. Then he left them on the porch to be inside with the others.

August stared at her for a long moment, taking in all the details that made her… her.

Her eyes were brown as rust; making them the most intense and unique thing he’d ever seen. Her lips were full and donned a cute little beauty mark on her bottom lip. They looked so soft to the touch. Her skin was mahogany with a reddish undertone. She looked like an angel.

Oh this girl could make an atheist believe!

But how could an Angel exist at a time like this?

***

The pair sat at the bar, a bar stool splitting them to give one another ample space and privacy.

Roslyn was lost in her own thoughts; her face twisting and turning as if she were having an angry conversation with herself.

‘Wanna talk about it?’

Once she realized he was speaking to her, she snapped her head over at him, ‘Why do you care?’

‘I don’t. Just trying to make conversation I guess. We haven’t spoken since Tommy introduced us. I thought it’d be cool to talk.’

‘Pssh,’ she smirked, ‘At least you’re honest.’ She swirled her drink around, watching the liquor coat the ball of ice then drip off.

It grew silent between the both of them again.

‘What happened?’ She asked before looking over at him.

‘Why do you care?’ He said with a bit of a smirk before looking over at her.

Roslyn scoffed, ‘I don’t.’

‘Then why ask?’

She shrugged, ‘Maybe I’m nosey. Or perhaps I find it a little random and weird how you and your brother just pop up out of nowhere you know?’

‘Are you suggesting-’

Roslyn looked over at him with a blank face.

He knew exactly what she meant.

August stared back at her and licked his lips before he looked back down at his drink.

‘My brother and I. We were a part of this militia up north.’

‘The Fireflies? Ain’t they all over the place now?’

‘What?! That sorry ass excuse of leadership? Course not. Besides they either sided with us or infected chow by now.’ He then took a sip of his drink.

‘You and I can both agree to that.’

‘Anyway, I was with WLF.’ He murmured.

‘WLF? You mean-’ She looked over her shoulders to make sure no one was listening in on them. ‘Washington Liberation Front?! What the fuck–are you insane?! You’re lucky they didn’t shoot you in the face when you got here! What if you-’

‘Whoooa, look at you not caring!’

Her mouth remained slightly open at his comment. She could already tell he was going to be a pain in her ass.

‘Listen, we weren’t followed if that’s what you’re worried about.’

‘And how do you know that?!’

‘Because I do OK!? Just– shit went down and I wasn’t standing for it.’ He then knocked back the rest of his drink and gently slammed the glass on the coaster.

Roslyn let out a heavy sigh as she placed her hand over her forehead, doing her best to gather her thoughts and ask the right questions.

‘Alright. Tell me what happened? How’d your brother get hurt?’

‘I thought you didn’t care.’

‘OK don’t be a smartass. Just tell me what happened.’

‘Alright.’ He chuckled before raising his hands in surrender.

‘We have this leader by the name of Isaac. Hardcore motherfucker. He’s been around longer than I have and experienced the world before it went to shit. You’d think since he witnessed the beauty of what this world was like before all his loved ones died, he’d be somewhat reserved and patient. No. Anyway.’ He sat up straight and turned to face Roslyn.

‘There was a peace treaty with some occupants on the nearby Island. We called the folks there Scars. Anyway, somehow, the treaty was disrupted and now we’re at war again.’

‘Shit. What’s it like?’

‘What’s what like? War? I’ve heard stories about the world before. How we had Armies and the death and loss that came with fighting for the greater good. Though, what this feels like, It doesn’t feel like that.’

Roslyn pressed her lips together firmly, swallowing her spit. She too, had heard about the tales of the past world and how countries handled their beef. But something about the way he spoke, it didn’t sit entirely right with her.

‘Anyway, they’ve been sending us out on patrol groups to clear out any stragglers that may have crossed over our borders. Me, my brother and a few other guys came across this encampment. It had signs of being inhabited so we began to secure the area. Then, we were ambushed. We fought long and hard. We took out anything we saw move. I lost 3 of my men which only left me, my brother and Jon alive. Mike thought it would be a good idea to scope the place one more time.’

She watched him closely, his eyes; she wanted to see if they would blink or twitch but, nothing. Then, her eyes fell to his nose and lips. No twitch, not even a smirk.

‘And then? They got the jump on ya brother or sumn?’

August chuckled and shook his head, ‘Nah. Anyway, shit you outta let me finish here. I’m not in my right mind, I will forget!’

‘Oh. My bad.’

‘So, my brother calls me over while Jon started up a fire to burn up the bodies… There was a young woman hiding in the bushes. She was pregnant.’

Roslyn’s heart twisted in her chest as she had a gut feeling of what he was bound to tell her. But she didn’t stop him, she had to know what kind of man he was so she could disassociate herself if she needed to.

‘She had those same scars up her cheeks that everyone else had, so I knew she was with them and we probably killed her partner. But she had this look of… sorrow. She didn’t say a word but her eyes begged us to let her go. Then, Jon came up behind us and tried to shoot her. My brother stepped in her way and tried to talk him down but he refused. Instead, he pointed the gun at my brother’s head and he barely began counting before I put three in his chest and one in his skull.’

‘Fuuuck.’ Ros breathed out. ‘That— must’ve been hard.’

‘It wasn’t. My brother’s life is more important than any one of us that went downhill that day. So, we gave the girl all of the food from Jon’s sack, his sleeping bag. She needed it more than we did. We let her go. Might’ve been the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever done but oppose to that I know it was the right thing. She wasn’t a threat to us. She was just a kid herself! Anywho, weeks on passed. We got word that we were being followed by the Top Dogs of the militia.’ He scoffed and shook his head, ‘But they were always one step behind. Considering I was one of them but…’

‘That wasn’t all, was it?’ She asked; intrigued with the story.

‘No. No, of course not.’ He sighed out. ‘Yesterday we were in the midst of some shit with the Scars and the WLF. My brother was shot. We had to fight tooth and nail to get out of there. We didn’t even know this place existed! I was up in the mountains and saw the lights. I knew it could’ve been a long shot but I had to take the chance. I promised my dad.’

Roslyn let out a deep breath and shook her head, ‘Sheesh. That’s…’ she just closed her eyes and tried to pick up a more suitable word for his situation. But nothing would come up.

‘I know. I’ve had a long month.’ He smirked as he lifted up his empty glass towards the bartender for her to pour him up another glass.

‘Shit yeah!’ She scoffed and raised a brow.

Again. Silence. But, at least she was a bit more confident in him now. Comfortable too.

‘Hey…’

‘Yeah?’

‘It was a noble thing you did back there. Sacrificing your life for that woman and your brother. The world needs more men like you.’

A small smile curled on his lips.

‘That’s probably the nicest thing someone has ever said to me. Thanks.’

She did her best not to smile but his smile was so contagious! Roslyn was grinning like a fat kid in a bakery.

‘Somehow I don’t believe that but, you’re welcome.’

The pair shared a gentle laugh before their attention was captured by the door creaking open and a pair of boots clicking upon the wooden floor. It was Tommy, Joel and Maria.

Roslyn’s mood instantly shifted and she turned back towards her drink.

Maria smiled softly as she approached the two.

‘Hey. Hope I wasn’t interrupting.’

‘Nope.’ Ros let out a sigh and stood up from her stool, ‘I was actually just leaving.’ She wanted to keep it short.

‘Oh.’ Maria took note of her half empty glass of Scotch. ‘But you didn’t finish your drink.’

‘It was my second. Plus, I got a few things to handle.’ She looked over at August and gave him a gentle nod, ‘See ya round?’

August returned the nod with a soft smile, ‘Course.’

She turned around to meet Joel at the door. ‘Hey! I couldn’t help you look sumn-odd different!’

‘Really?’ Joel folded his arms as he raised a brow.

‘Yeah! You looking a bit more gray than usual.’

Joel chuckled and shook his head, ‘It’s the stress kid. Wait til you have two girls skippin’ roun’ here you’ll get it!’

‘Yeah yeah, sure! Ellie outside?’ She laughed, pulling on her black beanie.

‘Yup, she’s waitin’ on ya.’

‘Cool. See ya old man. Oh! And— go to Tasha’s. I’m sure she got sumn for that salt n pepper.’

Then, she stood on her tippy toes and gave his bearded scruff a kiss and went outside to join her sister.

‘I Will Kid! Be good, Roslyn.’

Very important Side Note: From The River To the Sea, Palestine will be free. I’d like to make it clear that in no shape or form does this page support Israel or Zionism. The creator of the game, Neil Druckmann is a Zionist and I would like to make it very clear that this page stands in solidarity with the people of Palestine 🇵🇸. Boycott the game, boycott the show! CLICK HERE to find links to support and donate to Palestine & please continue to Boycott! Palestine will be free.

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blue-haired-rock · 7 months

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Some very sloppy doodles

#my art #my ocs #my story #Sonima #Neylla #Neylla Miller #Alstin #Alstin Moore #Danny #Danny Wilson #Michael #Unnamed oc #Sonima's sister #traditional #doodle #sketch #pencil

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kanerallels · 10 months

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Ahhhh nothing like adding a little world building in your fan fic to put you in a better mood

#in other news kasmir and okadiah are now roommates with one of my sister's ocs! as well as rex and fenn rau #good times #the steve miller au

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tiredstudents · 1 year

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"FBI OPEN UP!" She kicks the door in.

Daniel and Iris look up from their video game.

"Ok one, you aren't the FBI, two why didn't you FUCKING KNOCK FIRST?!"

#Guest Muse - Hawk (Fandomless OC)#Scarred Older Sister - Iris Miller

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thekingofthenameless · 3 months

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Old man yaoi (unrequited)

Amos:

That’s who I’m supposed to kill? He tries not to stare, taking in his appearance nonetheless. The man who is apparently Merlin seems to be only a couple of inches shorter than him, even from where he’s standing. Long white hair, that shines like freshly fallen snow, rests halfway down his back. It’s locked into thick strands that remind him of strong rope, tied up into a mid-high ponytail. Every side of his head is shaved, showing softer but still coarse hair that glimmers like frost. “Merlin,” Uther calls. “I have someone for you to meet.” He turns, revealing his face. He’s beautiful. His skin is a warm, dark brown. Several scars (one on the left side of his forehead, above his eyebrow; another spanning from his forehead to his nose, ending a little below his eyes; and the last across his left cheek) darker than his skin adorn his face. His eyebrows are as white as his hair, as well as his eyelashes and beard, which has a coarse, curly texture. His almond shaped eyes are a lighter shade of blue, with orange rings around his pupils. Eyebags darker than his skin, but a different shade than his scars, are under them. The bridge of his nose is prominent, making it curve. An aquiline nose, if he remembers correctly. He hasn’t seen anyone who has it in a while. He’s wearing a dark green bliaut, (that shows some of his chest, and he has to quickly look away) brown pants, a long, hooded blue cape, and brown heeled boots. A necklace, which is only a gem held with black string, rests against his neck. A bracelet is on his right wrist, and a ring is on his right hand’s second finger. Their eyes meet, and the man smiles slightly.

#my writing #The King of the Nameless #my ocs #Amos Miller #Merlin Ambrosius #TKN Merlin #stealing my sister’s description:#bro’s just like: “hot damn 😳”

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imadumdumjewel · 1 year

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My rich girl oc Meredith Miller’s younger sisters! They’re twins!

Despite also being rich, they’re more free spirited as they’re not the heiresses, and they are more against the “no supernatural” family belief. In fact they admire both Pretty Cure and Ninja!

Oh and they’re super trusting and friendly!

They’re around grade 5-7, but their heights always make people mistaken them as high schoolers in freshmen year lol

#my art #my ocs #rc9gn oc #rc9gn #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #twins #twin sisters #mauve madelyn majesty miller #milly marceline marvellous miller #sorry for their long names #blame their parents

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ashleena-xx · 10 months

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[Victim 13] Emily Miller

[14 Y/O] Evelin's Young Sister

She Isn't Scared

She's Not Afriad

She Wasn't All Alone

But She's A MONSTER

#mandela catalogue au #mandela alive au #mandela catalogue oc #Emily Miller #Evelin's Young Sister #EMILYSWEEP

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ceirinen · 9 months

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December 2023

I decided to make a list of every fic I read each month.

I would like to interact more, but life has been complicated recently and when it comes to interacting, I get very anxious which is something I'm trying to overcome.

So, here I made this to appreciate such amazing writers and stories that inspire me and others everyday. To the authors, I want to thank them for their dedication and time spent on writing to offer us fascinating stories.

I totally recommend their work.

(If you are in this list and you don't want to, please let me know so I can fix it).

@cillianmesoftlyyy

So New | Cillian Murphy x fem!reader Method Acting | young!Cillian Murphy x Reader

@runnning-outof-time

Research | Tommy Shelby x Reader Bedtime Stories | Tommy Shelby x Reader & Daughter

@zablife

teacher!Luca Changretta x Reader Funeral | Tommy Shelby x sister!reader A Visit to the Peaky Blinders Set | Cillian Murphy x wife!reader

@gypsy-girl-08

Festive Spirit | modern!Tommy Shelby x Reader All I Need... | modern!Thomas Shelby x Reader A Gentle Warning | Thomas Shelby x wife!Reader

@pacifymebby

Arthur Shelby x Reader

@fkmarrycill

Pre-Gaming | Cillian Murphy x Reader

@holacia3

Lost and Lucky | modern!Tommy Shelby x Reader Surprise visit | modern!Tommy Shelby x Reader

@beastofburdenxo

Let Me Praise You | Tommy Shelby x Reader Raising Catherine | Tommy Shelby x Reader

@look-at-the-soul

If I let you go | Cillian Murphy x Reader

@your-nanas-house

What does my princess want? | sugar daddy!Cillian Murphy x sugar baby!reader I'm pretty sure you're mine | sub!William Killick x dom!fem!Reader What are we, idiot? | Neil Lewis x best friend!Reader Thirsty | Tommy Shelby x secretary!Reader

@raincoffeeandfandoms

@lis-likes-fics

Loner | Edward Cullen x Reader At the End of the Day | Tommy Shelby x wife!Reader

@rafeology

Mentor!Finnick Odair x victor!reader

@wife-of-all-dilfs

Flower Therapy | Finnick Odair x Reader

@darlingsfandom

Cillian Murphy x Reader Tommy Shelby x artist!reader Soft sugar daddy | Robert Fischer x Reader

@pinguwrites

Home Is Where the Heart Is | William Killick x future!reader

@http-finnick

Skin to skin | Finnick Odair x fem!insomniac!reader

@acewritesfics

Lost Love | Tommy Shelby x Reader 36 Minutes | modern! Tommy Shelby x Reader

@dearshelby

Had you first | Tommy Shelby x Reader Little Tommy | Thomas Shelby x oc

@lau219

Red Carpet | Cillian Murphy x Reader

@peakyswritings

I Do Bad Things | demon!Tommy x Reader

@shelbystales

Ceramic Lessons | Cillian Murphy x Reader

@darthannie

Day eighteen: breeding kink with Lenny Miller | Lenny Miller x f!Reader

@hllywdwhre

Afterglow | Cillian Murphy x Reader

@red-write-hand

I'll be home for Christmas | Thomas Shelby x Reader

@mysaintkitten

Bad Behaviour | Mike Kiernan x fem!Reader

@notyour-valentine

The Spirits that I summoned | young!Tommy Shelby

@brummiereader

No Son Of Mine | Tommy Shelby

@youbyradiohead

Strawberry Syrup | Cillian Murphy x Reader

@cillianthinker

British accent | Cillian Murphy x Reader Young and in love | Cillian Murphy x Reader

@cillspropertea

Coming home | Cillian Murphy x Reader

@cillmequick

Operation Christmas Tree | modern!Tommy Shelby x fem!Reader

#cillian murphy x reader #tommy shelby x reader #neil lewis x reader #finnick odair x reader #thomas shelby x reader #lenny miller x reader #arthur shelby x reader #mike kiernan x reader #william killick x reader #alfie solomons x oc #robert fischer x reader #edward cullen x reader #tom buckley x reader #luca changretta x reader #fic rec #monthly reads #fic recommendation

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j-eryewrites · 2 years

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A Sinner’s Redemption

A “what if” fanfic series based on The Last of Us

Main Master List

(HBO Television series and video game)

Playlist: A Sinner’s Redemption

AO3 Link

Disclosure: I do not own the plot or the characters from The Last of Us. This is a “what if” fic based on the HBO television series and the game The Last of Us.

*Updates sporadically

꧁_____________꧂

Chapter One: When You’re Lost in the Darkness

Chapter Two: Infected

Chapter Three: Long, Long Time

Chapter Four: Please Hold to My Hand

Chapter Five: Endure and Survive

Chapter Six: Kin

Chapter Seven: Left Behind When We Are in Need

Chapter Eight: Look for the Light

꧁_____________꧂

Taglist: @bartokthealbinobat @angelmenace @mimi-luvzyu@d4rno @lizlil @winterschildren17 @sunsumonner @lovelyygirl8 @homeslices @guacala @emsownuniverse @thetiredtoad0-0 @galacticstxrdust @jackierose902109

꧁_____________꧂

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cardierreh15 · 1 year

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Post Human

An adaption of The Last Of Us.

Warnings 18+: Gore , Death , Blood , Sexual Innuendo , Smut , Scary Images (Runners , Stalkers , Clickers , Bloaters , Rat King {Maybe} Cursing , Angst , Parental Loss , Apocalyptic Lifestyle

Theme Song for the Book:

Side Note: Timeline May be a little wonky since this is an adaption.

1. His Brother’s keeper.

2. “Friends?”

3. What Could Possibly Go Wrong? OUT NOW!!!

4. Secrets coming soon

5. coming soon

Chapter VI.

Chapter VII.

#henry cavill #august walker #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x black reader #Henry Cavill x black!female oc #August Walker x black!female oc #joel miller #ellie williams #dad!joel #sister!ellie #august walker x black reader #august walker x black!oc #tlou fanfiction #TLOU #tlou2 #the last of us #Spotify

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blue-haired-rock · 5 months

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A few very sloppy doodles.

#my art #my ocs #my story #traditional #pen #doodle #Neylla #Neylla Miller #Alstin #Alstin Moore #Michael #unnamed oc #Alstin's sister

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atinylittlepain · 5 months

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Prologue

jackson!joel miller x witch!oc

series masterlist

series playlist

He thinks he might fall in love with her. She can't let him fall in love with her. Or: a reimagined take on an infamous Practical Magic au by yours truly.

wordcount | 1.8K

series content info | 18+ slowburn-ish, strangers to friends to lovers to estranged acquaintances to ???, discussions of death and grief, a little magic, just a little, jackson era joel and all that entails, eventual smut, angst obviously, and love that requires a little elbow grease.

a/n | thank you folks for your patience while I was being a little worm about this. Very excited to kick off this series, and I'd love to hear what you think <3

....................................

There is the after, and there is the before. This is the before. In the before, there is a town nestled down in the purple-blue belly of a mountain, all shade and damp, cool green. A small town, everyone knowing everyone and everyone knew everyone as far back as history could reasonably stretch. And in this town sits a house at the end of a string of houses, sidewalk curling up in waves under the old force of tree roots, wrought iron gates and sleepy porches. Kids dare one another to step through the gate of this house. Only the bravest make it up to the porch, a quick clambering tap to the front door, wanting, but not really wanting, to see who might answer. All but one child, that is. She has no problem walking through the gate, but she’s learned to be quick in getting through the front door and slipping it shut behind her. The other kids like to throw rocks if she lingers, so she doesn’t. But there is always a sweet suspension of disbelief on the walk, before the gate, and the porch, and the slip through the front door. How nice, to have all her classmates walking her home after school.

“Did you get into any trouble today?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Well, always another chance tomorrow.” It’s just enough to coax a smile out of her, her aunt and all her tuts and tsks, turns of her nose and we need a brownie before we do your homework, little choice but to follow after her into the kitchen, warm and sticky, the smell of fresh yeast and something richer. Even now, even in the first gasps of Summer, a pot always boils on the stove, spoon stirring lazy inside it.

Her aunt moves like a bird she thinks. But not the delicate kind. She saw a blue heron once, at the lake outside of town. Like that, she thinks. Graceful but sharp, big and sweeping, the tails of a linen shirt, and the braid woven gray and black that hangs between her shoulder blades. All so familiar, she can’t help but sigh, cheek propped in the clammy cup of her hand.

“Something happened today.”

“You don’t say.” Her aunt, always knowing before she can tell her, sometimes even before she knows herself. She picks a chocolate chip out of the brownie split between them, holds it on her tongue and lets it melt.

“Andy Nichols broke his arm. He said there’s pins in his bones.”

“Is he the one who–” She nods before her aunt can finish her question. Yes, the one who never threw rocks at her. Yes, the one who would sit with her at lunch, not because his other friends dared him to, but because he wanted to. The one who, last week, sitting on the bleachers during recess, pressed a quick, there and gone kiss to her lips, all shy, all sweet, wings fluttering fierce in her chest. Yes, that one.

“Now he won’t even look at me. All his friends are saying I did something to him.”

“Oh, Maggie, I’m sorry. People can be, well, people suck, to speak plainly.”

“Did I?”

“Did you what?”

“Did I?” And the silence is enough of an answer, isn’t it? Her aunt’s eyes melt a little, lips pressed in a thin frown. Her aunt, who is as tired as she is, though she may do a better job of hiding it. After all, while she lost a mother, her aunt lost a sister. And the thing, that thing, this thing, that is threaded like a dark cancer through the sinew and snapping pulse of their hearts, contagious, careful or you’ll catch it. Everyone in town knows not to fall in love with a Campbell woman, a long history pocked with strange deaths, unexplainable misfortune. Her father wasn’t from town though, the first mistake of many.

‘It’s best if you don’t think on it, hmm?” Quiet and close in the kitchen, she does her best not to cry, feeling weak, a little wilted. One of those hugs that presses all the air out of her lungs, she needed it, breathing in deep, soap and sweat and soil and my little witch, we have work to do.

Homework doesn’t really mean homework in their house. Not the paper she’s supposed to be writing on the civil war, not studying for the math test she has on Friday. Homework means her and her aunt in the greenhouse, and her aunt quizzing her on the plants they tend to. What is what, what does what.

Lemon balm for stress and sleep. Also used to treat cold sores.

Echinacea for immunity.

Peppermint for nausea and headaches.

Belladonna for sleep, handle with care.

It comes easily to her, the same way that knowing things comes easily to her aunt. Plants, she thinks, make more sense than people do. It takes them a few hours to work through the greenhouse, night coming on in a swath of orange that smolders purple, cool shadows filtering in through green glass. They prune, they water, they propagate, and her aunt must think her extra pitiful tonight because she offers to teach her a few new tricks. The offer falls flat, however, when the prickled sound of scratching shivers up her spine. She knows it well, imagines that she could hear it from all the way across town at this point. The back door, nails skittering over its window panes, face pressed to glass, smeared shame, or maybe just a secret. All that’s needed, a look shared between them, no words. She stays in the greenhouse, closes the door behind her aunt, but leaves it cracked. She shouldn’t, but she likes to listen.

What she hears is always the same. Variations of desperation, I want, I want, I want, I need, I need, I need, him, him, him, her, her, her. How badly? So badly. Anything? Yes, anything. She’s watched a few times, peering around the doorway into the kitchen. All kinds of ways to meddle, to tangle threads, cut them loose, pick your poison, pick your pleasure. Her aunt tries to keep her away from it, the dark, crawling things, the needles, the wax dolls washed in smoke plumes. But she knows. Love is an ugly thing.

She doesn’t watch tonight, hardly listens either. Something else on her mind, in her hands. She plucks rose petals, lavender, rosemary, fills her hands with the rumpled things, says what she planned to say.

He’ll ride horses, talk to them too.

He’ll work with his hands.

There’ll be a streak of silver at his temple.

When we’re together, he’ll be able to stop time.

“Are you casting impossible spells again?” Her aunt catches her just as she’s stepping out into the backyard, damp grass and cicada thrum and the moon.

“I hope so. I hope it’s impossible.” They stand in the cool, damp grass, all that heat dropping down into a low mist around their ankles. And her aunt knows exactly what she’s doing. Afterall, she was the one who taught her this. Somewhere between a love spell and a prayer, though she hopes hers is more like a curse.

“There’s no taking something like this back, Maggie. Are you sure you want to do this?” She nods, says yes, and it’s enough for her aunt to stand down, giving her space to finish the rest of it. Intention, energy, that other word that people like to throw around She focuses on the words and the words become something other than words, and the petals and leaves lift from her hands. The moon takes care of the rest.

“I hope I never fall in love.”

The thing about spells is they always find somewhere to land, even the impossible ones. And somewhere in the before, that impossible spell found its target. Cupid’s arrow bent and broken, though still able to sting sharp. Somewhere in the before, a boy in another town in another life, young knees working hard to make the thin tires of a bike spin, already late heading home for dinner in the cooling night.

The boy’s mother hears him before she sees him, big, hot tears and ribs shaking with sobs she doesn’t often get to hear anymore, getting older, trying to get braver. The boy is bleeding, the boy is crying. The soft round of his palms scraped and stuck with gravel, and his knees no better, all down his shins, and he didn’t mean to cry, didn’t want to cry, but walking the rest of the way home, wrestling with the crooked handlebars of his bike, the feeling and the pain got too big, and he didn’t know what else to do with it.

“Oh honey, what happened?” His words come out in stops and starts, little stuttered gasps. I fell, gets strung into a few extra syllables, already ushering him upstairs and into the bathroom, the sharp smell of this’ll sting, cotton gauze getting stuck in the blood.

In the before, still young, the boy is a soft thing. He cries easily, and he doesn’t like that. Cries when he’s angry, when he’s hurt, when he’s frustrated. Cries harder when he cries because he wishes he wouldn’t cry, even if the words for such a feeling are still too old for him. Somewhere along the way, the boy will lose that. The boy will lose so much. But for now, his mother is making all the big and little hurts better, box fan humming in the cracked window in the bathroom, his brother, even younger, watching through the slivered opening of the door.

For now, the boy lets his eyes close, sticky with salt and the last wandering tears, and he wonders if he really saw what he thought he saw, what stunned him so snappingly that he flew head over handlebars onto the still-simmering asphalt. A blurred vision, blink and miss it, though even so, he’s still sure of what he saw. A rose bush, a sudden burst and bloom and flashbang, nothing and then something and then everything. Blooms that unfurled their skirts as fast as he was riding by, until what had been only green was blotted out entirely by heavy white petals. The boy will lose this memory with time, reasoning it away as an impossible imagining, something from a young mind that will no longer be his. But while the boy is still young, still a soft thing, he will think to himself with a kind of secret wonder that whatever he saw that night, it had to be magic.

......................................

taglist: @suzmagine @joelsgreys @vee-bees-blog @noisynightmarepoetry @kungfucapslock @iloveenya @evolnoomym @wannab-urs

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller au #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #apothecary gv

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tiredstudents · 1 year

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There was a knock on the apartment door. When Iris opened it, she found two almost idenitcal looking women there. She had never seen them before. The blonde narrowed her eyes.

"And who the hell are you?" She demanded as they pushed past her after flashing offical looking badages at her. 'Supernatural Surveillance Force.' She had heard of this before. But why were they here?

"Name's Hawk, that's my twin Eagle." The one with an eye patch gestured to the other.

"Hello there. We mean you no harm, we just heard reports that you threw someone out the window...as well as picking up a strong magical energy here."

Then it clicked. Iris knew exactly why they were here. The twins would begin to search the apartment when Daniel wandered out of his bedroom. "Huh? Who...WHAT?!" The young man had not expected the sudden arrival and stumbled. His Grimore fell out, but he quickly snatched it up...but not before the twins caught sight of it.

"I see..." Eagle muses. "That's why you were attacked. I would be careful if I were you." She said as she pulled out a card from her pocket and handed it to Daniel. "You might get attacked again...don't worry though, I'm sure we can work together Mr...?"

"Daniel, Daniel Miller." He would introduce himself. Iris would huff but not really fight as she spoke up. "And I'm Iris. His older sister."

"Nice to meet you two!" Hawk would grin as she and Eagle turned to leave. "I hope we can work well together Mr and Ms Miller!" She would wave while her sister bowed and just as quickly as they came, they would leave the two bewildered Millers.

"They seemed nice...at least we have someone on our side. Scribe can only do so much seeing as he moves around often." Daniel would comment before closing the door and sitting down on the couch next to Iris as the two contemplated what to do next.

#Boy who knows more - Daniel Miller #Scarred Older Sister - Iris Miller #Guest Muse : Hawk (Fandomless OC)#Guest Muse: Eagle (Fandomless OC)#Drabble #tw: long post

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healmydesires · 1 year

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forever in your eyes (j.m)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

summary: It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to. You’ve never been in love, always thought that falling in love wasn’t meant for you. Until one day, you meet a certain grumpy man.

genre: fluff + romance + angst + smut (18+ mdni)

word count: 15k+

tags/warnings: age gap (reader is 27, joel is in his early 50’s), takes place post s1, very minimal use of y/n, soft!joel tbh, kinda shy!reader… at least with joel, flirty joel, joel deserves to be loved, assumed unrequited love from both sides, reader described as shorter than joel, mutual pining, inexperienced/virgin!reader, unprotected sex, piv sex, loss of virginity, soft!dom joel, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), joel has high key an oral fixation, kinda pleasure!dom?, multiple orgasms, creampie, some breeding kink, overstimulation, size kink, joel is huge… literally packing oof, lots of pet names (darlin, sweetheart, angel, baby girl, etc.), reader has a sister (named emilie, so if that’s your name I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 you can imagine another name then 🥺. I didn’t want it to be y/s/n because that would be so annoying to write imo).

a/n: this is my first joel fic. this is kinda more soft tbh… might be a bit oc? I don’t know but I love it. It’s pretty self indulgent !!! I’ve always loved writing but I got a lot discouraged in the past, giving up on it. I was inspired to start writing again by some of my favourite writers @joelmama and @joelscruff. also english is like my third language so please be nice/gentle with me. do not give me unsolicited advice pls <3 anyways! I hope you enjoy it 🥺

please don’t forget to interact, reblog or let me know if you read/loved it! <3 thank you ily 🥺

AO3 ● playlist

You knew you had feelings for Joel Miller. You’ve always liked and cared for him, even when you first met.

You still remember the day you met him. Clear as day.

It was such a warm and beautiful day, like a year and a half ago. The sun was beaming down on you as you were reading a book that you found on one of your trips outside Jackson — on your front porch of your house. The blowing mid-summer wind was hitting your face, cooling, as if to apologise for the almost unbearable heat that Jackson was currently subjected to. The soft breeze was caressing your skin and hair making the heat a lot more bearable as you enjoyed the day.

You were so immersed in your book that you didn’t hear the people approaching you until there was a shadow descending over the pages of your book. Someone was standing in front of you, their body blocking the sun.

“Yes?” You said with a smile without looking up from your book.

“I would like to introduce you to some people.”

The voice belonged to Tommy. Tommy Miller.

Your eyes widened at that, and you looked up from your book and saw that there were two other people behind Tommy looking down at you.

“I’m sorry,” you said before you cleared your throat, giving them a sheepish smile before standing from your lounger, shielding your eyes from the sun to get a better look at the strangers in front of you.

A teenager gave you a polite smile as she introduced herself. As you gave her your name in return you finally noticed the man next to her, gave you a curt nod when you locked eyes with him. He had a broad build, dark eyes and brown peppered hair. You assumed he was around the age of fifty and you couldn’t help but find him incredibly handsome.

“This is Ellie and my brother,” Tommy smiled as he gestured to both people next to him. “They’re your new neighbours.”

You knew Tommy had an older brother but you didn't know what you had been expecting. Maybe someone less handsome. As you continued to take him in you realised you were staring. You felt your body becoming more warm as you felt him stare back at you.

“How’s it going? I’m Y/N.” You gave him a small smile as you stepped forward to extend a hand out to the man.

"Hello," he repeated your name with a deep southern accent, which did nothing to calm your racing heart. You don’t think you’ve ever heard a voice that attractive in your entire life and it made heat flood to your cheeks. His hard expression melted into a more soft one as he took your hand in his. "I’m Joel, how’s your bench going?”

Your eyes widened at his words, “My bench? How did you—”

“We saw you through the living room window earlier this morning or more like Joel did.” Ellie, the teenager said with a huge grin on her face.

“Ellie.” He warned under his breath. His ears turned red and the two of them began to argue in hushed whispers, but your mind was elsewhere as panic began to set in.

Oh my god. He noticed me?

You grew embarrassed as you realised that he saw you struggle to fix that old bench on your porch. You’re painfully aware of how clumsy you are and that you’re not handy at all but you don’t like to ask other people for help. It was not because of your pride or any of that sort, you’d hate to burden someone else with your issues, so you mostly keep trying to fix things yourself.

"Oh yeah..." You said, looking back towards the bench that has been the bane of your existence these past few days. Your words effectively pulled Joel and Ellie out of their current argument. "It's a bit broken and needs some fixing."

Joel just looked at you for a moment before speaking up again. “You know, if you want, I could come check it out?”

You felt your cheeks heat up again at his offer and you glanced over at Tommy. “Uhm…”

“We both used to be contractors back in the day, so if you ever need anything repaired or something built, we are your people. Well… Joel specifically.” Tommy laughed.

“Oh, that’s cool. I think I’m good for now though, I don’t need any help but thanks for offering.” You declined politely with a small smile. You knew you could use their or his help with repairing the bench, but you didn’t want to burden anyone. And the older brother was already making you feel flustered, you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself when you just met.

“Alright, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” He gave you a small but genuine smile before the three of them walked away from you.

As they walked away, you released a breath you didn't realise you were holding. The hammering of your heart only registering as the distance grew between you. You felt a bit of disappointment once they were gone, a sense of longing setting in your heart as you thought about the tall and older man that you know you’ll grow to care for.

—

“God damn it. Work with me please.” You grumbled as you tried to fix one of the loose wooden planks of the bench. Sweat was dripping down your forehead as you concentrated on your task at hand. You were on the floor, crouched underneath the bench you were so desperately trying to repair. You’ve been trying to put it off for a couple of weeks now but you knew you couldn’t keep doing that. You knew you should ask someone for help but you didn’t want to give up just yet. Curse words wouldn’t stop leaving your mouth as you struggled. “Fuck.”

“I didn’t take you as a girl that could curse like a sailor.” A low and deep but still soft voice resounds behind you.

“Ah shit!” you gasped as you heard the voice behind you. You’d smacked your head on the edge of the bench when you’d startled at the sudden intrusion. You recognised that voice. Joel Miller. The man that’s been consuming your thoughts for weeks now. You hissed as you rubbed at the already sore spot and landed on your butt as you looked up at him.

The bemused expression morphed into one of concern as he crouched down to your level. “Are you okay?” He replaced your hand with his own, making sure there was no visible injury.

His touch made your body turn hot as he continued to study you.

“Yeah I-I’m fine. Although, I do think it will be a nice bump later.” You chuckled. “You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that, it’s not good for my heart.”

“And your head,” he said as a grin replaced the one of concern. You were glad to be sitting because that smile has been making you weak in the knees lately. Ever since you’ve been introduced you’ve been talking and hanging out here and there, finding out that the man can smile sometimes. You’re not entirely sure why he felt so at ease around you but you were truly grateful that he was spending time with you. (It might be for the fact that Ellie grew fond of you and loved to ask you a million questions whenever she was around.) He had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen and it lit up his whole face, you truly wish he would smile more. Subconsciously you started biting your lip as you admired him.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” He questioned with a chuckle as he looked at the state of the bench next to you.

Your face grew warm as you moved to focus your gaze on your hands. “I’m fine.” You whisper softly as you continue to look at your hands in your lap.

You heard him sigh before he took your chin gently in his hand to tilt your head back, making you look into his eyes.

“You know it’s okay to ask for help sometimes?” He said as he studied you intently. It was hard to maintain his eye contact, your face heating up more under his intense gaze and because of the close proximity of both of your faces.

His brown eyes stared into yours and you couldn’t help but find them the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever looked at. Your eyes flitted all over his face, not being able to stay in one place. You couldn’t get over how handsome he was. His head tilted to the side and he gave you a questionable look. You felt embarrassed as you realised you hadn’t replied to him yet.

“Sorry,” you bit your lip nervously as warmth spread even more to your cheeks. Your eyes moved away from his face to a spot behind him as you stared into the distance. “I just don’t want to burden you.” Your voice sounded so small and squeaky that you cringed internally. Embarrassed, you quickly drop your gaze to your lap.

“Oh, Darlin’,” he said gently, his expression turning more soft. “Sweetheart, you could never be a burden.”

“I’m sorry,” you bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to keep yourself from getting emotional. “I didn’t mean to… I just— I just always feel like it’s best I do everything myself all the time because I don’t want to annoy anyone with my problems.”

You’ve always been someone to wear your heart on your sleeve. You’re a very sensitive person and very in tune with your emotions most of the time. People saw you as a very caring and helpful person but when it came to your own things you mostly tended to yourself. You’re aware that most people aren’t like you, at least not anymore ever since the outbreak happened, but you didn’t care. There’s strength in sensitivity.

“You could never annoy me,” Joel frowned. “especially not when it comes to you struggling to do something on your own.”

You weren’t used to people caring for you the way you cared for others. So when Joel reassured you or took the time to hang out with you, you couldn’t help but feel appreciated.

His reassuring words gradually eased your anxiety. You let out a long sigh before looking up at him again. “O-okay, I-I think… I might need your help.” You stutter, hoping he didn’t catch it but he smiled at you warmly instead.

Shit, he’s so pretty. Come on, forget it. He could never have feelings for you.

“Good. Because I’d love to help.” He winked at you with a crooked smile.

Warmth flooded your body as you stared at him, you couldn’t help but feel flustered around him. You’re certain that your heart is running two hundred miles per hour, because it felt like it was about to burst out of your chest.

It’s just a silly crush. You told yourself.

—

Turns out, Joel Miller, your hot new neighbour, could be very handy.

He was able to fix the bench you've been fighting with for weeks in less than an hour. You were truly impressed.

As he brought back the supplies he used to repair the bench back inside to your supply closet, you couldn’t help but want him to stay a little longer. Besides, you wanted to thank him for being so helpful. You’re relieved and so grateful that the ‘demon bench’, as you had called it, was now fixed

“Thank you for helping me out, Joel. It means a lot to me.” You said as you smiled up at him as you both walked towards your front door.

“Oh darlin’ it’s no problem. I loved helping you.” He said with a grin. He moved closer, making your breath hitch which made him smile even more. “You can ask me anything. Whenever you need.” He winked and you felt your insides melt at his words and his actions.

“I-I want to be able to thank you. Give something in return for your help.” You smiled shyly at him.

“You don’t have to do anything for me sweet—”

“Please, let me make you dinner. It’s the least I can do after what you did for me.” You cut him off as you looked up at him with wide eyes. “Ellie is welcome too!” You added nervously when he took a bit longer to reply.

He snorts softly at your words before clearing his throat. “Ellie isn't in tonight,” he says as he avoids your gaze for a few seconds “she’s at this girl’s place she hangs out with a lot. So it’s just me.”

“Oh that’s okay! I’m sure she can join us next time.” You flashed him a bright smile. “But, I’d love to make dinner for you tonight… if that’s okay?” You asked with pleading eyes.

He chuckled fondly at your expression as he shook his head with amusement. “Of course. I’d love that.”

You felt like you were going to burst out of excitement. Internally you’re screaming, kicking with your legs like a schoolgirl thinking about her crush. You really loved spending time with the man.

Joel followed you back inside as you quickly disappeared down the hall and into the dining room that’s connected to your kitchen. You saw him admire the walls of your dining room from your peripheral view as you’re rummaging in one of the cupboards of your kitchen for a cutting board. Most of the paintings were either more abstract gradient paintings or heavily inspired by the Impressionism art movement.

“You have lots of paintings. They are very pretty.”

“Thank you. Some of them are made by me or my sister.” You smiled genuinely as you made your way back to him.

“Really?” He asked curiously.

Your smile turned timid as you looked up at him, Joel's inquisitive look making you even more shy.

“Yeah… we both love art. Especially making our own sometimes.” You cleared your throat with another bashful smile, before looking down at your shoes.

“Is your sister…?”

“Is she alive? Yes” you finished his question. “She lives here in Jackson with her boyfriend actually.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah. I’m truly grateful to have her in my life.” You told him. “She’s my best friend.”

“That’s beautiful” he nods at you as a small smile graces his features. You can’t help but feel yourself get more warm at his soft expressions. He’s so beautiful. “How did you two find your way to Jackson?”

“It’s a long story. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this but, originally my sister and I weren't from here… the USA I mean.” You told him.

Joel’s eyes widened at your words. You giggled at his expression.

“We are originally from Europe, I was still very young when the outbreak happened. I was around? Seven years old. We were in San Francisco when it happened and my sister and I haven’t really moved from that place for a long time ever since everything went down.” You said as you walked back to the kitchen.

“Christ. That’s very young.” He said, he looked shocked as you told him as much as you wanted him to know.

“Yeah but Emilie was four when it happened.” You said as you bit your lip.

“It must be hard being trapped in a foreign country. Especially when you’re a child.”

“Yeah… My parents eventually died when I turned eighteen. So it was just Emilie and I for a long time. One day a couple of years ago she went outside the San Francisco QZ and I hadn’t heard from her for a long while. I just… I had to look for her, she’s my sister, she means everything to me. I would literally travel through this whole country just to find her. I always felt like I needed to protect her. I’ve always been very overprotective of her, just like I know she is with me.” You chuckled as you shook your head with amusement at your previous words.

“Overprotective huh?” He said as he flashed you a grin as he came to lean against a wall close to you.

“Yeah,” you giggled. “I am the big sister but sometimes it does feel like she’s more overprotective than I am.”

“Your sister seems very nice. I do understand her being overprotective though.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you.

“Oh really?” You bit your lip as you continued to prepare everything for dinner.

“Yeah, I mean you’re a precious little thing so I do understand her overprotectiveness.” He muttered.

Heat rose up in your face at his words. You couldn’t look up at him, feeling too flustered to look him in the eye. Your heart felt like it was about to burst out of your chest as you kept repeating his words in your head. He thought you were precious.

Was that flirting? No. He would never flirt with you.

“Y-you think so?” You question shyly, still not meeting his gaze.

“Uhuhm” He hummed softly, “I don’t only think that, it is so. You’re very precious.”

“O-oh.” You were at loss for words.

Joel chuckled, probably because of your flustered state, before he noticed you struggled with the ingredients. “Let me help you sweetheart.”

“No, it’s okay.” You said. But as most people knew, Joel was a stubborn man.

“Darlin,” he looked at you pointedly, letting you know that you wouldn’t be able to stop him from giving you a hand.

“I’m making dinner for you, to thank you. You shouldn’t be helping me.” You huffed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. You’re aware you probably look like a child but you can’t help it. Dinner was supposed to be made by you, and only you.

“Oh angel, being in your presence is rewarding enough for me.” He says as he leans closer to your ear.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words. The sound of his deep voice close to your ear, and the feeling of his breath against your skin, made you fight the urge to shiver.

Joel smiled playfully, eyes looked down and locked with yours for a couple of seconds. The close proximity made your skin set on fire. He could lean down a bit more and then his lips would be on yours. You slowly pulled back, clearing your throat while you did.

“A-a-anyways.” You stuttered. You hated stuttering, you never really stuttered but somehow this man could turn you into a flustered, stuttering mess. His smile widened at your state which made you want to run and hide. You decided to change the subject. “I had to go through some states to find her and eventually I found her. Then we travelled together through Wyoming and then some people from Jackson surrounded us and that’s how we got here. That was almost a year ago.”

“So… You are pretty new here?”

“Yep.” You said as you smiled at him.

It was silent for a moment as both of you were preparing everything for dinner. Until your eyes widened at the realisation that you hadn’t offered him anything to drink yet.

“Oh shit, sorry. I can’t believe that I haven’t offered you something to drink yet.” You said as you abandoned your current task, running towards another supply closet, looking for something good for the both of you. “Give me a second.”

You could hear Joel chuckle, knowing he was probably looking at you with an amused expression on his face. You were looking for a specific bottle of red wine, your favourite, the ones you always keep for special occasions. Once you found it you couldn’t help but squeal excitedly. “Aha! Here it is!” You smiled triumphantly as you held it in your hands.

You were grinning widely as you came back into the kitchen. “I’ve got some red wine, I hope that’s okay.” You said as you placed down the bottle on the kitchen counter.

“More than okay.” Joel smiled.

You beamed up at him and opened one of the cabinets, you stood on the tip of your toes as you struggled to reach for some wine glasses.

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself. “Why did I put those glasses so high and so far in the back?”

“Let me,” he chuckled softly as he stepped behind you, his body pressing softly against yours. Your breath hitched at the action and warmth spread all over your body. You mentally cursed yourself as you felt a heat pool between your legs. Different kinds of scenarios started going through your head as you felt his body pressed against yours. You wished his arms were wrapped around you as he stood behind you. But one of his arms extended over yours as he reached for two glasses easily. “Here they are.” He whispered as he leant down to whisper close to your ear.

You truly felt as if you caught a fever. He’s so close and so big. As his chest brushed against your back you felt as if your brain short circuited for a second. He was so broad and tall while you were so much smaller than him, he could quite literally swallow you whole with his frame.

You felt his body slowly retreat from yours, giving you the possibility to collect your thoughts again.

“Show off,” you grumbled teasingly, warmth still filling your chest and face.

Joel snorted, shaking his head amused. “You’re just tiny.”

You gasped dramatically, turned around and feigned offence at his words. “Am not!”

“Sure you aren’t.” He teased, a grin forming on his face.

You giggled at that, “you’re just awfully tall.”

“Right.” He nodded along to your words, tried to look as serious as he could, he tried to stifle a grin and you could see right through him.

“I am right.” You pouted.

“So am I.” He retorted playfully, a loud laugh left his lips as you continued to pout, before he took a step closer to you.

Your cheeks warmed, but you tried to hide your embarrassment by crossing your arms and sticking your chin up in the air. Huffing you turned around, “get back to work Mr. Miller.”

“Yes ma’am” he said in mock seriousness as he went back to making dinner with you.

“You’re so silly,” you giggled as you teasingly bumped your shoulder against his arm. You went to open the bottle of wine before pouring some of the liquid in both glasses. Once the glasses were filled you held a glass out to him.

“Only with you darlin’,” he gave you a wink before he took the glass from your hand. Flushed, you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped in your chest when his fingers brushed against yours.

This man is going to be the death of me.

—

Dinner was very nice. There was lots of banter, lots of words exchanged from Joel that felt awfully like flirting but still you tried to push those thoughts away. He wouldn’t flirt with you. You’re pretty certain of it. The tension sometimes was killing you though. You think it was sexual tension but then again that would be impossible because he wasn’t flirting with you.

But you also noticed that the more you hung out with Joel the more relaxed he was around you. You loved that for him. Underneath all that rough exterior he has so much depth to him. He’s very caring, protective, helpful, funny, and so intelligent. He’s so sweet to you too, you didn’t know why. But all you knew is that you care for him so much. You felt comfortable around him too, safe. You couldn’t help but associate him with warmth, safety. Home. He felt like home to you.

Empty plates were still on the table and for a while you were enjoying the comfortable silence between you two. Eventually you broke that silence.

“The wine is so good.” You whispered as you looked at your wine glass then brought your gaze softly to the man sitting across from you. He seemed like he was lost in his thoughts, staring off in the distance as he looked through the window outside towards your garden.

He brought his gaze back to you as he heard your voice, he cocked his head to the side. “Hmmm what did you say sweetheart?”

“It’s good right?” You ask as you motion with your head to the drink in your hand.

“You’re not wrong. It’s very good.” He nods with a soft smile.

“It’s my favourite,” you flashed him a grin before you took a generous sip of your wine, the liquid burning down your throat.

“Oh really?” He questioned with a curious smile.

“Yeah, I keep them for special occasions.” You said as you bit your lip, feeling bashful.

“Is that so?” Joel’s smile turned into a full smirk as he looked straight into your eyes. “I am assuming this is a special occasion then?”

You hummed your agreement, shrugging your shoulders with faux nonchalance as you continued to bite your lip. Warmth was overwhelming you. Not only because of the alcohol you consumed but that man always made you heat up.

“I’ll consider that as a compliment.” He said as he leaned back in his chair.

Excitement bubbled inside you. Feeling bold, you winked at him. “As you should.”

He was visibly surprised, Joel didn't expect you to finally flirt back. You giggled at his reaction, pleased to see that you could surprise him.

You stood up from your seat with a smile as you took the empty plates from the table, bringing them to the sink.

As you’re about to turn the faucet on you heard him stand up from his chair. He muttered your name, his voice coming out a lot deeper than usual. Fighting back a shiver you slowly turned around to look at him. Your eyes were wide with curiosity and your heart was pounding so hard you could barely hear over the sound of blood rushing in your ears. He looked at you, a desperate expression on his face.

“Darlin’,” he said, his voice hoarse as his dark eyes continued to hold your gaze. For the first time of the night you couldn’t fight back the shiver from going down your spine. Heat flooded your body, your cheeks burning, the warmest you’ve ever felt them.

Joel must have noticed the way your body was reacting to his voice, as he dragged a low shuddering breath at the sight of you.

“Joel?” Your breath turned heavier as you waited for him to say or do something. Your wide pleading eyes stared into his hungry eyes. He continued to stand there just looking at you, his chest moved quicker as he breathed more heavily. Your heart pounded so fast and hard that you were worried that he could hear it from across the room.

Your eyebrows pulled together as you stared at him, your eyes shining with curiosity. You waited with bated breath for Joel to say what he was meant to tell you. He looked at you desperately before he moved from his spot, striding towards you but before he could reach you, someone barged through the door of your home with a loud bang.

“Hey! I knew I’d find you here.” Ellie yelled without looking at both of you. Once her eyes settled on both Joel and you her mouth fell open. “What’s happening?”

You were breathing heavily as you looked at Joel. Eventually you brought your gaze to the teen. “N-nothing, Ellie bean.” You stuttered out quickly, moving away from the kitchen towards the younger girl. “We just had dinner.”

Her eyes widened, “without me?”

Your face flushed with embarrassment before you turned around to look at Joel. “I thought she was at—”

“I’m assuming you told her I wasn’t home tonight, right?” Ellie cut you off, raising one of her eyebrows as she looked at him.

Wait what? Did he want to be alone with me?

Joel swallowed and then avoided both Ellie and your gazes. “Alright.” She snorted.

“I think it's better if we go home.” Joel finally spoke up, before walking towards Ellie. You feel yourself deflate at his words and you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.

“O-okay.” You whispered, looking down as you entwined both of your hands nervously.

Ellie looked at you with sympathy before glaring up at Joel. “You’re so stupid.” She grumbled under her breath as she gave him a shove as she made her way to the front door.

“Ellie,” he warned her.

“You are.” She sneered.

Joel sighed deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He dropped his hand before looking at you. “Thank you for dinner,” he said with a small but grateful smile.

“Thank you for fixing my bench on the front porch,” you gave him a faint smile. “I enjoyed spending time with you.” You said as you looked away timidly.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me.”

You bit your lip as you avoided his gaze. He said your name softly before he held your chin gently with one of his hands, tilting your head towards his face which made your eyes lock with his own.

“I always enjoy spending time with you.” Warmth rose to your face at his words. He gave you a warm smile before releasing your chin.

You walked with him towards your front door, leaning against it as you tried to say your goodbyes to each other.

“I really enjoyed tonight.”

“Me too.” You said as you bit your lip.

“Goodnight darlin’.” He said with a barely noticeable smile before he walked out your door.

Your eyes met Ellie’s waving at you from in front of your porch. You return the action with a small wave.

“Goodnight.” You whispered before you closed the door behind them. You rested your back against the door, exhaling a long breath you realised you didn’t know you were holding in.

—

You were in too deep.

As months went by, you were more and more aware of how strong your feelings were beginning to grow for Joel. So strong that they were starting to terrify you. Not because you didn’t want to have these feelings for him, no that was certainly not it. You just never experienced feelings this strong for someone before.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to.

You’ve never been touched intimately before, never had sex either. You knew how inexperienced you were but so far, you just hadn’t found someone to be worthy of your time.

You’ve never fallen in love with anyone before. And these new feelings were truly scaring you. For so long you were so certain that you’d never fall in love with someone. That falling in love wasn’t meant for you. That those feelings would never exist for you. The apocalypse hadn’t made things easier either so it wasn’t like falling in love was an option for a long time. But now that you’re relatively more safe, it was a possibility.

It was so much easier when it was just a crush, or an infatuation, despite the fact that you knew that crushes usually wouldn’t make your heart swell so big or your lungs feel so tight when you think of them or see them. But now, it’s a lot harder to pretend that it’s not more than that.

You always dreamed of the day you’d finally fall in love but now that those feelings were here they made you feel like you wanted to run and hide.

You’re not sure you’d be ready to confess those feelings to him any time soon. You were quite certain that they would be one sided, so you’d prefer to keep those to yourself. Because why would someone like him ever see you the way you see him, the way you feel for him. You were a lot younger than him, around twenty years or so. You’re twenty seven. So it seemed impossible for you that he could regard you in the same way you did.

So you decided to do just that, keep them a secret. And you were completely fine with that, with your feelings remaining completely unknown to anyone but yourself.

Or so you thought.

—

On a beautiful warm spring day, you decided you were going to indulge in your favourite hobby. Drawing.

You’ve always loved art, specifically, you loved sketching. If it wasn’t for the fact that the world ended, you’d like to think you would’ve studied art or tried to become an artist.

You were pretty good at it actually, not to sound too full of yourself. But with the way things were, your skills weren’t at their full potential. And besides you didn’t like to tell most people, keeping it a secret because you were always too shy or embarrassed to show people your talents. So you sketched as much as you could in your free time.

You loved to draw all sorts of things, nature, still life, animals and sometimes, people. But on top of your innocent drawings you also had a specific secret sketchbook that you only drew in when you were certain you were alone.

This sketchbook was dedicated entirely to indulging in your massive crush on Joel Miller. (Okay, crush is an understatement.) It was usually difficult to draw a specific person when they weren’t standing right in front of you, but you had seen his face so many times that it was nearly photographically imprinted in your mind. You would often summon his face up whenever you were alone. As many times as you could. Most of these were just his face, the sketchbook was definitely filled with several of him smiling. Some were just details of, for example, his hands or his eyes. Or even his nose or lips.

Everything about him made you feel warm inside. You would always be a flustered mess around him and it would even make you heat up when you’d draw him. Sometimes you’d have to take breaks from drawing him because you’d start getting too hot from thinking about him.

You often felt like you were doing something bad or wrong, like you were some sort of stalker when all you did was admire him.

It was a specific drawing you were currently working on, after checking and double-checking that you were truly alone. It was a beautiful day and you had the day off, so you figured what better way to spend it then by sitting on your front porch all day while enjoying the weather and sketching out what you’d seen the man do during your shared patrol the day before.

The drawing was him holding his gun as he concentrated on a target in front of him. You were so focused on sketching him as well as you could, wanting to capture every feature of him in the best way possible. You recalled his intense expression, the way his jaw clenched while he was so focused yesterday. His dark brown eyes and his handsome side profile—

“What are you drawing?”

You practically jumped and yelled as you heard the voice close to you. Hurriedly you tried to close the sketchbook as you addressed the person standing close to you. “Ellie! You scared me. What are you doing here?”

“I’m just done with school and thought I’d drop by. I kinda wanted to spend some time with you.” She smiled at you as she was leaning against the wall. The soft expression slowly turned into a more mischievous smile as she cocked her head to the side to study you. “You okay there, Y/N?”

You swallowed nervously before giving her your best smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well… you’re looking pretty nervous or flustered. Embarrassed even.” She said as she smirked deviously.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perfectly fine.” You said as you tried to keep your composure.

You could never tell Ellie about the fact that you’re drawing Joel. He’s practically her father figure. Besides, you were quite certain it would make the whole situation awkward.

“You sure?” She asked as she leaned closer to you. “Could it have something to do with… what you’re drawing?”

“I— no. I mean no.”

“Hmmm.” Ellie hummed as she looked at you suspiciously.

Before you could react, Ellie snatched the sketchbook out of your hands at lightning speed.

Fuck. fuck. FUCK. Please no.

“Ellie—”

You sprang to your feet and quickly tried to grab the book back from her, but Ellie pulled it just out of reach at the last second with a huge teasing smirk on her face. Your face burned with shame.

“It’s nothing Ellie, please give it back!” You couldn’t hide the terrified desperation in your voice.

“You sure it’s nothing?” She said as she hid the sketchbook behind her back.

“Yes!” Apprehension fills your bones at her actions.

“Ah, then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind letting me take a peek at what’s inside right?” Ellie grinned dangerously as she moved the book in front of her.

“Please give it back.” Tears started to well up in your eyes as you pleaded for her to give it back.

Shit. It’s over.

As she opened the book on a random page, a gasp left her mouth. “Oh my god?!”

“Ellie, I’m—”

“You’re drawing Joel?” She whispered with wide eyes as she flipped through the pages.

You’ve never felt your face warm up this hot in your entire life. “No?” You said nervously but it came out more as a question.

Ellie said your name softly as she looked at you with a huge smile. “You have a crush on Joel?”

“I— I-I’m— uhm I don’t know, I just—” you stuttered as you tried to retrieve the sketchbook. Ellie pulled back which made you want to scream internally.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Her face softened as she saw you look utterly terrified. “If anything, I’m very happy.”

“What?” You asked as you blinked your tears away.

“How could I be mad at you? I’ve always wanted Joel to be happy. He deserves that, even if he often doesn’t think he deserves that himself.” She smiled at you before looking back at some of the drawings inside the book. “They’re very beautiful by the way. I love drawing too.” She stepped closer to you as she went to put the book back in your hands. “Besides,” she shrugged nonchalantly, “he has a crush on you too.”

“Oh.”

Warmth flooded your body as you listened to her. You quickly felt overwhelmed by her words and everything that happened, you needed to sit down to process it better. You went to sit down with the book in your lap, looking down at it as you were at loss for words. It was very difficult for you to wrap your head around what she said. Joel having feelings for you? You couldn’t allow yourself to believe it. As you let her words sink in, she took a place next to you, placing a hand on your arm and giving it a small reassuring squeeze. Ellie gave you enough time to collect your thoughts and you were truly grateful for that.

You heaved out a long sigh. “I don’t have a crush.” You finally spoke up but not meeting her gaze just yet.

“What? But—”

“Saying it’s a crush is an understatement.” Your voice trembled as you finally looked at her. “I’ve never felt like this in my entire life, so it’s hard for me to deal with what I’m feeling.”

“Oh.” She said as her eyes widened. “You’re… In love?”

“I am pretty sure I am, yes.” You nodded with a small smile.

“Okay. Well he has feelings for—”

“Ellie, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have feelings for me.” You interrupted her.

“Oh my god,” she groaned as she hid her face in her hands, mumbling, “you’re both so oblivious.”

“What?”

“You’re both so stupid. So oblivious.” She groaned once again as she threw her hands in the air. “You both think that the feelings are one sided.”

“I don’t know…” you trailed off as you let yourself lean back on the bench. You’re quite certain that you’re the only one being so consumed by these emotions. You’ve pretty much made your mind up about the fact that it’s impossible for him to return any of those feelings that you have for him.

“The atmosphere when I came in the last time both of you had dinner, just the two of you, certainly didn’t look like it was one sided.”

“Barged in.” You corrected her teasingly as you bumped your shoulder into hers.

“Okay, whatever. My point still stands.”

“Ellie, that was months ago…” you sighed deeply and shook your head at her words.

“Stop. Why do you do this?” She asked exasperated.

“Wh—”

“Why do you believe that he wouldn’t have feelings for you too?” Ellie questioned as she leaned closer to you. “Like, you’re so pretty and have such a lovely personality.”

“I-I I don’t know. I just find it hard to believe. Besides,” you shrugged with a frown “I find it very hard to deal with my own emotions because I’ve never been in love before so this is so new to me.”

Her eyes softened as she listened to you. Slowly, she brought her hand to squeeze your arm reassuringly. “I can understand that. But love is a beautiful thing.”

“True…” you whispered.

“I can understand being scared, but Y/N you’re so worthy of love. Just like Joel is. I am convinced both of you are meant for each other.” She said with a hopeful expression.

“Ellie—”

“I’m serious. Just, please think about it for a while. You both deserve more than this secret pining for each other.” She grumbled at the last sentence.

“Okay I will. Can we please talk about something else now?”

“Sure.” She shrugged with a smile.

“Thank you, Ellie bean.” You said gratefully.

It’s quiet between you two, as you two sit in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the beautiful weather and each other’s company.

“So… drawing huh?” She grinned.

—

As Ellie and you were talking about your shared love for drawing you heard someone approaching the both of you. Ellie is the first one to look up and she greets the person with a wide smile.

“Hi Emilie!” Ellie beamed as your sister stepped foot on your front porch.

“Oh, here are my favourite girls!” She said with the biggest grin on her face. Emilie brought her hand up to high-five Ellie. “Hey ravioli.” She said as the youngest girl hit her hand.

Ellie scoffed and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Jeez, just because I love ravioli doesn’t mean you have to call me that. Can’t a girl love food in peace.”

Your sister doesn’t reply to the teen and averted her attention to you, greeting you too. Emilie gestures for Ellie to scooch over, before she plops down on the bench between both of you. “So what are you guys talking about?”

“Hey! That bench was recently repaired! There’s no need for you to let yourself fall on the seat like that.” You groan at your sister's silly behaviour.

“Recently? That was months ago.” Ellie counters with a playful smile.

“Ah yes, the bench that the love of your life repaired.” Emilie said with a dreamy expression.

You gasped at her words, feeling your cheeks heat up instantly. You gave her a light shove, “Emilie!”

“What?” Your sister shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s true.”

“Love of your life?” Ellie beams.

You sighed dramatically before leaning against the back of the bench. “Look at what you just did.” You gestured towards Ellie.

“Oh quit the theatrics.” Your sister rolled her eyes teasingly. “Everyone knows you have feelings for Joel except for that man himself.”

Your eyes widened as her words registered in your mind. “Everyone?” You squeaked.

“Yes, just like everyone knows that man is pining over you except for you!” Your sister said exasperated.

You shook your head frantically. “You’re ly—”

“Oh my god, Y/N.” Ellie groaned. “Wake up.”

“Yeah, lovely sister of mine,” Emilie placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a serious look, “respectfully wake the fuck up.”

“Disrespectfully, Emilie, shut up.” You said to your sister, shrugging her hand off you. You crossed your arms in front of your chest, pouting as you still leaned against the bench.

“Why are you pouting? This is a good thing.” Ellie huffed.

“Yeah, this is a good thing. Why don’t you want to allow good things into your life?” Emilie asked, looking at you seriously.

Silence fell for some moments, before you whispered, “I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

“Yes, you do!” Both Ellie and your sister said simultaneously.

You bit your lip as you looked at them silently. You knew deep down that you deserved to love and be loved in return but it was so hard for you to accept that someone could genuinely have feelings for you. It wouldn’t make any sense, you were always used to people that were attracted to you to expect something from you that you weren’t ready to do or they wouldn’t genuinely care about who you are as a person. You knew Joel was different, he showed you enough through the past year. But somehow your mind tried to tell you otherwise.

“This is driving me insane,” Ellie sighed, shaking her head.

“Ellie,” your sister said pointedly at the younger girl before turning back to look back at you. “Y/N… you are so worthy of love. I know you’ve never experienced this type of emotion or feeling ever before, but you deserve to feel safe with someone and to love someone deeply and for them to love you just as fiercely. I know you keep thinking because of past relationships, friendships or situationships that people aren’t truly interested in you or that people don’t genuinely care for you. But, those people do exist. Ellie cares for you, I do, and I am completely certain that Joel cares for you too. You deserve to feel loved, cared for and to be happy.”

Tears welled up in your eyes at your sister’s words. You felt truly overwhelmed by everything she told you. Deep down you knew she was right, you were trying to believe her words but you knew it might take a bit of time.

“Thank you.” You whispered, tears flowing down your cheeks as you hugged her side. “You don’t know how much that means to me. It might take some time for me to truly believe everything you said but I want to try.”

Both girls went to envelop you in a warm hug, squeezing your body tight. You felt your body relax in their embrace.

“I love you.” Ellie whispered, at her words you hugged her body tighter.

“I love you too, Ellie bean.” You smiled, tears still in your eyes as you leaned your head against the crown of her head.

And for the first time in a long time you felt like your heart could breathe again.

—

A month passed and you still hadn’t confessed your feelings to the man that’s been consuming your very brain for a year. You still hung out whenever you could, but telling Joel how you felt about him still terrified you. But as time passed, you allowed yourself to believe the words your sister and Ellie told you. It was very freeing.

One thing that didn’t change though was your stubbornness. You are certain you will always hate asking people for help. Like for example, the fact that your shower head was acting up so much you couldn’t take proper showers which made you have to use Emilie’s shower at her place sometimes. Until the shower head actually broke.

That’s why a few days later, you were standing in front of Joel’s door, contemplating if you should really ask him for his help. You bit your lip as you thought about it. Sighing, you told yourself that you should just do it. As you were about to knock, the door opened.

Your eyes widened as you came face to face with Joel. Your cheeks heat up as you lock eyes with him. You know you shouldn't be flustered right now because he is the only one who can help you. And he did tell you that you could always come to him if you needed his help. Or for anything really. But somehow, you still couldn’t help but feel shy around him.

“Sweetheart?” Joel looked at you worriedly.

“H-hi?” You smiled sheepishly. “Am I coming at a bad time?”

“No, ‘course not.” He shook his head slightly, a soft smile curled upon his lips. “Everything alright?”

“I am alright, it’s just,” you trailed off as you looked away shyly. “I think I might need your help.”

Joel closed the door behind him as he kept his gaze on you. He motioned for you to show the way. “Let’s go.”

You giggled as you shook your head light heartedly. “You don’t even know what I need your help for.”

“That’s where you're wrong darlin’. A little birdie told me your shower head is broken.” Joel’s mouth twitched in mild amusement as you just gaped at him.

Oh my god… Emilie.

Your face burned once again. You couldn’t believe that your sister would tell the person you’re desperately in love with about this. You felt embarrassed, knowing that he knew about you struggling. As if he could read your thoughts, “I only know since yesterday, but I wanted you to come to me when you were ready.” He said as he looked at you, a gentle smile on his lips.

“O-okay.” You said, groaning internally at your stuttering. “Anyways, yes. I need your help with fixing my shower. I hope that’s okay?” You asked hesitatingly.

“‘Course it is. Show the way, pretty girl.” He winked, beckoning for you to move along.

He thinks I’m pretty?

—

Joel was standing in your shower as he tried to fix the shower head. He smiled as he threw you a thumbs up.

“Ah, here we go. This should work now—” Joel’s smile faltered as water started unexpectedly spraying out of the shower head. Surprised, it slipped out of his hands, dropping to the floor, the spray pointing up at him, which drenched Joel quickly.

Your eyes widened as you took Joel in. His white shirt and jeans are both drenched and sticking to his body. You could see the outline of everything. Your body turned flush with heat as you continued to stare at him. You couldn’t help but find him so hot, with his shirt clinging to his body. He grumbled as he looked down at the state of his clothes. Eventually you moved into action, “O-oh let me get you a towel!” you blurted out. You quickly made your way to one of your closets in your bedroom, rummaging for some spare towels.

“Y/N stop being such a creep.” You grumbled to yourself, embarrassed that you were staring at him so unabashedly. You’re worried that he might think you’re creepy, staring at him like he was the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. Well, actually, he was the sexiest man to you. But you didn’t want him to think of you as some sort of weirdo. That’s the last thing you want, for him to think you’re creepy. As you found the towels you were still in such a deep inner monologue while you walked back into the bathroom.

“I found the towels—” you gasp, accidentally dropping the towels on the floor as you took Joel in.

The man had taken off his shirt, most likely because he didn’t like the feel of the fabric clinging to his body. He took your breath away. As you once again stared at him you couldn’t help but let your wide eyes wander all over his chest. He was broad, he wasn’t really muscular but he had a solid build. He was strong and large, and soft in the right places. There were some scars littered over his skin here and there, as a result of the years of fighting to try and stay alive. Some hair was scattered over his body, your eyes trailing along his happy trail, eventually disappearing underneath his jeans. You felt yourself ache between your legs as your eyes continued to roam over his form, studying him with so much intensity. You were still admiring him when he spoke up.

“I’m not really nice to look at.” He mumbled.

Your heart ached at his self deprecated words. You couldn’t believe what he said. How could he think of himself so lowly? You thought he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. “W-what?” You said as you shook your head frantically.

“I’m not—”

“Joel Miller, you better stop bringing yourself down.” You said sternly, surprising both of you. You sighed loudly as he looked at you with wide eyes, “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand the need for you to put yourself down when you’re far from unattractive.”

Silence fell for a couple of moments. Until Joel exhaled shakily. “You-you think I’m attractive?” The man asked, he seemed so doubtful.

“I thought that was pretty obvious…” you trailed off shyly as you looked at the tiled floor between your two feet. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious to everyone else.” You chuckled nervously.

You heard him grunt softly before hearing his wet, heavy steps, as he slowly made his way to you. Joel grasped your chin gently, tilting your face towards him. You felt your cheeks burn, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his touch. Your eyes lock with his as he looks at you desperately.

“You think I’m attractive?” He repeated his earlier question more pleadingly.

“I don’t only think you’re attractive… you’re so beautiful. So pretty. Handsome…” you trailed off as you duck your head timidly. “Sexy.” You said apprehensively, before looking away from him. “I think you’re the hottest man I’ve ever seen.”

“I think you’re beautiful as well. The prettiest little thing that has ever walked this earth.” He whispers, his voice coming out a lot deeper. “Words can not describe how beautiful you are. Inside-out.”

You felt your breath catch in your chest as you felt your body tremble at his words. You slowly looked up at him, your eyes wide with curiosity. You couldn’t help but like how he was towering over you. He was so broad, so strong. You felt your face burn, biting your lip and feeling incredibly weak as his gaze stayed locked with yours. You felt light headed at the close proximity. You could barely think straight.

He brought his hands down to your waist, holding your body close to his as he smiled warmly down at you. He whispered your name, breath hitching as he looked at you intently. “Sweetheart…”

You breathed his name softly before his lips connected with yours in a gentle kiss. You gasped in surprise at his actions, but you quickly closed your eyes as he deepened the kiss. Joel’s large hands cupped the side of your face in such a tender way it made your insides melt. Never did you think you’d ever be able to feel his lips on yours. And here he was, kissing you. Your arms wrapped around his back, your fingers digging in his back the action making him grunt. His beard was rough against your soft skin, but was so welcomed. You kissed him back just as deeply, hands stroking up and down his back in a soothing manner.

He held you tighter against his body before slowly pulling away, resting his forehead against yours as both of you breathed heavily against each other's lips.

“I hope that was okay.” He said with a gentle smile. Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed what happened, having a hard time to believe that their kiss really happened. Never in your life were you ever able to keep your heavy emotions in control. Certainly not when you were overwhelmed. His forehead furrowed, concern flashing through his eyes. “What’s wrong Darlin’?”

God, why do I have to get so emotional?

“I am so sorry I just. I feel a bit overwhelmed because I always thought you’d never feel anything for me.” You rambled anxiously and your fingers trembled as they swiped under your eyes. “If you have any feelings for me, that is.”

“Really? I thought it was pretty obvious.” He smiled gently, his hands cupping your cheeks. Softly, he brushed your tears away with his thumbs. “Especially after… you know, kissing you.” He said with a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Yeah maybe…” you shrugged with a giggle, “you do have a point.”

“I do, don’t I?” He smirked playfully.

“You’re so silly.” You rolled your eyes lightheartedly.

“Only with you darlin’,” he winked.

You felt the heat rise in your face once more. You don’t think you could ever get used to his teasing or his flirtatious behaviour.

“So corny…” you snorted as you shook your head with amusement, “you’re lucky I love you.”

You quickly covered your mouth at the realisation that those words were said out loud. Your heartbeat was beating loudly in your chest, as your wide eyes met his. You wonder if he could hear your heart practically beat out of your chest.

His breath hitched in his throat, as his eyes bored into yours. “You mean that?”

Heat overwhelmed your body, feeling as if you’re on fire. Your mouth felt extremely dry, still you tried to swallow, nodding slowly anticipating his next reaction. “I do.”

The molten intensity made you unable to look away as both of you just breathed and stared into each other’s eyes. You felt as if time stopped in that moment, your bodies so close, yet they felt so far. As he held your gaze, he moved his body closer to yours again.

“Joel—” you whispered breathlessly.

He cut you off, kissing you by surprise. Capturing all the words you were about to say. Completely shocked, your whole body froze as you felt his lips claim around yours, hands pulled your face towards his as he kept pressing his lips further, almost to the point it hurt.

All your thoughts overwhelmed your brain, disabling any rational understanding of what was going on. Like a magnet, you felt your body move closer to his, moving your hands around his shoulders as you kissed him back just as fiercely.

You nibbled on his bottom lip lightly, eliciting a moan from him. Slowly, he pulled away from your lips, to press kisses to your cheek. His lips slowly travelled all over your face. You whimper as his mouth moved from your jaw to your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses all over your neck, your hands moved towards his hair, tugging lightly at the roots.

“How long have you been feeling like this?” He questioned, his beard scratching your neck as he continued to kiss your neck. Your body trembled against his as he continued to suck, kiss and lick your neck.

“Hmmm?”

Joel groaned and stopped his actions when you didn’t reply to his question, pulling back to look at your face. You feel his stare, waiting for your response. You hadn’t realised your eyes fell closed as you were enjoying his kisses. Unhurriedly, you opened your eyes, looking right into his.

You swallowed dryly at the intensity behind his eyes, your heart beating madly in your chest. A flare of heat rushed to your cheeks as you decided to tell him the truth. How could you not? When he’s looking at you with so much desperation.

“Like… at least a half year ago?” You answered, your hesitant eyes looking into his own.

Joel groaned loudly, enveloping your lips with his once again. He kissed you with so much passion, giving you everything that had to offer. His mouth moves against yours so hungrily. As he continued to give you long and deep kisses, you felt the heat rising within you. The throbbing between your legs felt unbearable as you whimpered desperately against his lips.

“I love you too baby, so fuckin’ much.” He rasped against your lips.

A gasp left your lips at his words and he deepened the kiss even more, as he quickly took the opportunity to slip his tongue past your parted lips and swirling it around yours. You felt as if your whole body was on fire as you continued to kiss each other ferociously, your fingers raking through his peppered hair.

He grunted as he pushed your body against the wall. His arms wrap around your body, holding your body close against his. You whimpered as his lips travelled from your lips to your throat, nipping at the skin which resulted in you squirming in his hold. Your hands busied themselves with exploring his exposed back, caressing his skin.

He moved his mouth towards your ear, “you have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about holding you.” He murmured. Joel’s lips travelled towards your shoulder while littering your skin with soft kisses. “Kissing you.” His hands wandered unhurriedly against your back, his hands eventually settled on your lower back, just above your ass. “Touching you.”

“Please,” you whined as you tried chasing his lips again, gripping his strong arms with your hands.

“Tell me what you need, baby girl.” He whispered raspily into your ear. A shiver went down your spine at his words. Joel’s voice carried so much emotion. So much desperation and adoration for you. “I love this baby blue dress on you. Although it’s really killing me right now.” He groans against your neck as his hands finally move to your ass over your frilly summer dress, grabbing a handful of your cheeks.

You felt even more wetness pool between your legs as you thought about the fact that you weren’t wearing any lingerie underneath.

You turned into a bigger whimpering mess as he kept littering your neck, shoulders and face with kisses. You felt one of his legs sliding between your legs, pressing his thigh against your exposed core.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

Joel lifted his head and your eyes caught his, his lips finding yours in a rough kiss, not wasting any time as he slipped his tongue past your lips. The man is wrapped around you completely, a hand caressing your back, the other holding your ass. Your body trembled as Joel started rubbing his thigh against your soaked core. You’ve never wanted someone more in your whole life.

“Joel,” you whined desperately.

“Tell me what you want kitten.” He groaned.

A loud whimper escaped your lips at his words. The pet name turned you on extremely. Your hips moved against his thigh, grinding against the clothed material.

“I want you.”

A string of moans slipped past your lips as Joel moved his head up to lick into your mouth.

“Pleaseee.” You whined against his lips as you rubbed your sensitive pussy against his jeans. “I need you.”

“Fuck, you’re so wet.”

“Ah!” You gasped as he picked you up effortlessly. Quickly, you wrapped your legs around his hips. The both of you continued to kiss each other passionately as Joel carried you to your bedroom. Once he reached your bed he softly placed you down the sheets.

You felt the bed dip before he hovered above you. Joel’s dark eyes stare into yours as his hands move underneath the skirt of your dress, his fingers trailing up your thigh. You felt yourself grow nervous at his touch.

“W-wait.” You whispered.

His movements halt immediately at your words. He looked at you worriedly, “you okay, sweetheart?”

You wanted him so badly and you were extremely wet but you would be lying if you weren’t a bit nervous. Everything seemed more real once his touch moved closer to your intimate parts.

You exhaled deeply. “It’s just… don’t get me wrong, I want this. I literally want you so badly, but I’ve never been with someone intimately.” You said nervously as you waited for his reaction.

“Oh baby girl,” he whispered, looking at you tenderly. “Don’t you worry about that. I will take good care of you.” He smiled as he leaned down to rub his nose gently against yours. “But, we don’t need to do anything if you’re not ready.”

“I am ready, I just don’t want to disappoint you.” You nibbled anxiously at your bottom lip.

“Baby, you could never disappoint me with this. You'll always be a good lover to me. You’re literally perfect. I promise.” Joel smiled gently, looking at you with so much adoration before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. You felt your whole body relax once his lips touched your skin. You trusted him, he was your everything.

Your lips moved to his neck before you placed an open mouthed kiss to his skin. “Please Joel, I need you.” You whispered seductively into his ear.

He groaned loudly before engulfing your lips in a heated kiss. You whimpered against his mouth as his hands started slowly caressing both of your thighs. Your head was clouded with so much lust, you felt so much love for him. Your brain turned quite literally into mush as you continued to kiss each other deeply.

You moved your hips desperately as you moaned against his lips, hoping Joel would get the hint.

“Such a needy kitten.” He chuckled against your lips.

“Only for you.” You whispered as you looked up at him pleadingly. “Please, touch me.”

“I am touching you.” He counters playfully.

“Please.” You whined desperately as you wiggled underneath him.

Moments later his lips pressed against yours again. The kiss got more heated the more you kissed each other. Your hands wander to the back of his head and you pull at some strands softly making him moan into your mouth. One of his hands slowly trailed up your thigh once again. Your whimpers came out more frequently the closer his hand moved to where you needed him the most. Once his fingers come in contact with your heat you mewl loudly.

“Fuck,” he moaned against your lips, you’re certain because he felt how soaked you were for him. “You’re so fuckin’ wet baby girl. All for me?”

You were overwhelmed with warmth, it felt like a hot storm — as he spoke those words. You nodded frantically. You were sopping wet, you managed to speak but your voice is strangled and pathetic. “P-please. T-take off your clothes.”

“And leave you in this dress? Out of question.” He chuckled as he moved the hand that was touching your wetness to your thigh.

“Who said I wanted to stay in this dress?” You said as you raised one of your eyebrows at him.

“Baby—”

“Undress me cowboy.” You smiled as you pulled your bottom lip with your teeth seductively.

“God, you’ll be the death of me.” He groaned loudly.

“My name is Y/N but god sounds good too.�� You giggled.

Joel shook his head with an amused grin on his face. His fingertips find the hem of your dress and you sit up a bit. You raised your arms quickly to help him get rid of your baby blue dress.

You felt your body tremble in anticipation, as his eyes roamed all over your naked body, his eyes not being able to stick to one place. You felt your heartbeat picking up as his hands reached for your hips, holding them and pressing your body closer to his. His lips moved to ghost over your neck, slowly moving below your ear. “You’re out of this world. So beautiful.” He whispered into your ear.

His lips then crashed against yours as you gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing, and took it upon yourself to guide his hand back down to your heat. His mouth fell from yours to unleash a heavy groan into your neck at the first slip of his fingers between your wet lips.

It's very, fucking wet, more wet than you'd honestly ever been and certainly more wet than he could've imagined in his wildest dreams.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful sweet girl,” he muttered again in a very raw tone, his voice strained. His lips trail slowly down to your neck, all the way to your chest. Joel breathed in through his nose, you flush harder at his words and shivered when he exhaled warmly through his mouth and onto your nipple. “The prettiest little thing I’ve ever seen.”

That’s all you’ve been given before he wrapped his lips around one nipple, teeth just skimming your skin as he sucked and licked passionately, as he also pushed one of his fingers inside your pussy.

The whine that came out of you only drove Joel to seek out more of those heavenly sounds.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He moaned, as your pussy clenched around his digit. “I need to prepare you as much as I can for my cock.”

Your whines became louder as you felt the pleasure overwhelm you. His fingers are so much bigger than yours, one of his fingers is more pleasurable than any of your fingers.

His tongue began licking, long licks with the flat of his tongue over your hard nipple as his other hand kept pumping his finger in and out of you at a leisurely pace.

You whined as your core started clenching around his finger, begging for more. Instinctively you began moving your hips, grinding against his hand, as he groaned against your skin. His lips left your breast with a wet pop and he looked at you intensely as he continued to fuck you with his finger. You were panting heavily, barely able to think straight as he slowly slipped another finger inside you. He moved his face back to meet yours, engulfing you in a passionate kiss, swallowing all your little mewls.

“Good girl, you’re doing so well for me.” He panted against your lips.

You bucked your hips up towards his hand in response, silently begging for more. He noticed and slipped a third finger in, moving them slowly at first as your tight pussy tried to adjust to the addition. Little whimpers left your lips as he fucks you slowly with his fingers. You felt so full, you can’t help but imagine him fucking you with his cock, you’re quite certain he’s massive. His pace eventually speeds up as you move your hips along with his movements. His lips moved back to kiss you, whining against his mouth. Your hands clutched the bed sheets as you moved along with the pace of his fingers, feeling him curl them and spreading them.

“That feels good doesn't it baby? You like it when I play with your little pussy? You like me fucking you with my fingers?" Joel moaned and his thumb connected with your clit, rubbing it at the same pace as he fucked you with his fingers. You bucked your hips and nodded as you moaned. "Use your words kitten," he taunts.

“Fuck, yes. Yes, please oh my god. Joel, please.” You writhed against the sheets as you whimpered. “Please keep calling me that.” You bit your lip as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“You’re such a good kitty for me,” he said, a smug smirk playing on his face. You were impressed how easy it was for this man above you to turn you on and make a mess of you.

Joel leans his head back down, trapping your lips in yet another heated kiss. You felt your legs spread even more open for him as you felt yourself get close to your first orgasm of the night. His tongue slipped into your mouth after another gasp fell from your lips. You couldn’t help but moan, whine and whimper as he continued to pleasure you. Your hands wandered to the back of his head pulling at hair softly making him moan into your mouth.

“Fuck, I need you so bad.” He groaned as his thumb applied more pressure on your little nub. He curled his fingers forward with every penetration until your thighs shook.

“I need you more.” You whimpered as your body trembled underneath his.

His eyes stared into yours, lust and love written all over them. When he fastened his motions inside you, you moaned again and squeezed your eyes shut. A burning intense feeling, a tight coil in your lower abdomen made your back arch beneath him.

“Open your eyes for me, my baby.”

You opened your eyes slowly, looking straight into his eyes. His intense gaze was what it took for you to come undone. The hot feeling spread all over your body, your body tingled, your hips moving at their own accord against Joel’s hand.

“You’re doing so well for me angel,” He said proudly as his fingers slowed down, slipping out of you to rub your slit softly, still helping you ride out your orgasm.

As you came back to your senses, you felt his fingers slip away from your heat. You felt your pussy clench around nothing every now and then and were dripping down the sheets, which made you whimper helplessly. You needed him so bad. And now. Joel climbed off the bed, making quick work to remove all of his clothing. You were still in a daze, closing your eyes for a minute. Moments later you felt the bed dip.

You felt your legs being spread further apart with his strong hands. A loud broken moan left your lips at the feel of his mouth meeting your soaking wet pussy. He dove between your legs, licking a stripe up through your folds and teasingly dipping his tongue into your entrance before he travelled up to your clit, spreading your lips with his wet muscle and sucking your button into his mouth.

You practically screamed at his actions, arching your back slightly off the bed once again. You felt your body trembling terribly. You needed more. You tried to grind your wetness slowly against his lips as your body continued to shake.

Strong arms were suddenly locked around your thighs, securing your hips with his biceps, holding you still despite your attempts to grind your pussy against his lips.

“You taste so good, baby girl. I could eat this pussy all day.”

You felt heat overwhelm your senses more as you felt Joel chuckle against your heat. His tongue was lapping sloppily at your lower lips. Squeaky, senseless noises came out from your throat. You were squirming, it was so good you could barely even figure out what he was doing with his tongue.

“Fuck, Joel baby, oh my goooood” you cried out loud. You were certain that if people walked outside your house that they would have heard you by now. He sucked lazily at your clit while he moved to slip two fingers into you. Joel eventually sucked harder on your clit, still occasionally swirling his tongue around your little bud while moving his fingers inside you a bit faster. You kept chanting his name between moans as you now hold onto his hair with both of your hands.

“Please, I’m so cloooooose.” You whined.

As Joel sucked your clit harder, you gasped loudly as you felt your whole body trembling even more and then you felt your body tense as you came against his mouth. Your whole mind felt like exploding and all you could see were stars. You felt truly overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure and emotions you were experiencing. Your body continued to tremble as you felt yourself come down from your high.

You felt Joel’s tongue still licking up your pussy as he retreats his fingers from your pulsing hole. His mouth felt heavenly, but you whined at the sensitivity. He moaned as he licked against your tight hole, licking up your release, his tongue prodding your entrance.

“T-too much.” You whimpered at the overstimulation.

Joel ignored your pleads, moaning against your heat as he continued to eat you out. The man you love so much that was between your legs kept sliding his tongue up and down your sensitive slit. Your little mewls and other noises spur him on, to move his lips back up to your clit. He sucked the nub softly between his lips. You were grinding your hips against his face as moans kept spilling off your lips. This time he didn’t hold you back from fucking his face. Eventually he leaned down, slipping his tongue into your entrance, he curled the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encouraging him to do it again.

You were a mess of his name, you chanted his name over and over again. Your hips moved against his face as you continued to whimper and moan breathlessly underneath him. Writhing below him, you felt him lick up and press against a sensitive spot inside that had you seeing stars, while your hips bucked against his face uncontrollably. Defiance and greed consumes your thoughts, your fingers once again gripped onto his peppered hair rather harshly and hips pushed against his face to shove his tongue deeper into your hole.

“Ahhh Joeeeeel—” you drag out. You were really so close, you just needed one more little push.

“Come for me kitten,” he whispered against you, before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb came up to press against your little bundle of nerves. That does it, your dam broke down as you came against his mouth as your whole body wouldn’t stop trembling. You came with a loud whine, your hips stuttering as your vision turned white. You cry out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. Your fingers were tightly woven through Joel’s hair and your hips pushed so far against his face, you almost thought you were suffocating him.

“You’re always doing so good for me baby, I love you so much my sweetheart.” Joel whispered against you. As you slowly came down to reality again and you tried to catch your breath, you heard him praising you softly while he continued to lap at your wetness gently, until you whined because the overstimulation was getting too much for you. You Nudged your leg against his face as you tried to squirm away from him, Joel’s mouth finally detached from your heat.

He quickly licked the wetness off his lips and the places he could reach before he crawled up to you with a smile, to kiss you deeply, cupping your face in his hands. You moaned at the taste of yourself against his tongue, your eyes fluttering against his skin while you kiss, his wet beard against your face, your arms wrapped around him to pull his body closer against yours. You sighed, against his mouth, you felt yourself melt in his embrace already. You can feel his soft mouth smiling against yours, as the kiss gets more heated.

Soon your hands start to grip his body tighter against yours, your legs tangling together. It's like you're both starved, this insatiable hunger for each other.

You couldn’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his cock. It turned slick as you kept grinding yourself against him, and he had no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.

“Oh, fuck” Joel rasped, and it was because he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He kept rubbing the head of his cock from your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you squirm underneath him, and back down. He loved the sounds you made as he spread his precum around your slit, where you are still dripping for him.

You gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You quickly realised by the way he felt while he rubbed against you that he was huge. You were still so wet, but the thought of him finally entering you with his big cock made you wetter. Joel swallowed your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against yours. He kissed you full with fervour, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.

You were trembling against him, filled with anticipation. His broad body covered your body with his. Loving how bigger and taller he was than you. You writhed against him, wishing he was just in you already and filling you up and making you see white.

“Are you ready for me darlin’?” He whispered as he looked deep into your eyes. “Let me know if you want me to stop and I will.” He promised.

You bit your lip and nodded, too shy and excited to talk, as you rubbed your pussy against his dick.

“Fuck,” he grunted, “I need you to use your words kitty.”

“Yes,” you whispered breathlessly.

“I’ll try to go slow at first, okay, sweetheart?” He said before leaning back down to kiss your lips again, he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He rubbed the tip firmly over your swollen clit then moved down to your wet tight hole and your mind was all over the place.

“P-please J-Joel…” you stuttered as your body trembled even more underneath him.

He rubbed himself up and down your slit for a while longer before one of his hands lean down to spread your outer lips sliding his dick teasingly around your core. You arched your back slightly and whimpered loudly out of frustration.

The moment you want to beg him again he leaned down to line it up with your entrance. Your legs trembled underneath him, a mix of nerves and excitement. Joel slid the tip in so slowly it was agonising. Your lips part with a gasp. He was careful, like he was afraid you might break. You let out a long broken whine as he gradually pushed more of him inside you. You whined at the stretch of him. He was so big. You thought big was an understatement, he’s huge. Your tight pussy clenched around him as it tried to accommodate his massive girth. Joel continued to push more of his cock inside you. He leaned down to kiss your lips gently as he moved more inside, hoping the sweetness of the embrace will soften the sting.

His hips stilled once he heard you gasp loudly. “So full…”

“Do you think you can handle more?” He smiled tenderly as he looked down at you.

“T-t-there’s m-more?” You stammered with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” he said breathlessly.

“Please,” You closed your eyes and whined as you nodded. You gripped the bed sheets between your fingers as you begged him for more.

“Good girl,” he groaned softly. You thought there wasn’t a possibility to get more wet but as he said those words you felt your heat get sopping wet. Your pussy continued to pulse and clench around his cock as he moved deeper inside you.

Once he bottomed out, you felt his tip kiss your cervix. Joel let his body rest against yours as he allowed you to adjust to his size. You felt so full, as if he was made for you, and only you. The feeling of him filling you up so completely had you seeing stars and digging your fingernails into his shoulders.You felt one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them with yours as the other one reached up to your face.

His breathing was heavy as you squeezed his cock repeatedly. Small whimpers left your lips as you squirm underneath him.

You needed more.

You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Joel.”

“My sweet girl needs me to move?” He asked teasingly, as he cocked his head to the side.

“Yes, please.” You begged as your pussy clenched around his thickness rather hard which made him moan. “I need you to fuck me so bad.”

He licked his lips before he nodded quietly and started moving slow and deep, one hand reached down to play with your clit, while the other held your hand tightly. The sting was hurting for a while, but it easily morphed into a more pleasurable feeling as he moved against you. You’re so overstimulated from all your previous orgasms that the sensation he was giving you is mixed between pain and pleasure.

He grunted as he dropped his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin just below it.

“Such a tight pussy,” he groaned.

The angle was so good, but when his pace picked up he finally leaned down to wrap his arms around you, the action made you gasp and you grab at the sheets around you, to fuck you harder and faster.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. Doing so so, good for me. Y-you’re so perfect.” He whispered as he nuzzled his face against your neck.

You whimpered as his lips moved back up to your lips, enveloping them in a passionate kiss. At a certain point you felt the end of his strokes slide into a pressure point in your core that has you clenching like a vise around his dick. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the pleasure he was providing you. A loud noise like nothing you’ve ever made escaped your throat, a strange cry of his name.

“Feeling good sweetheart?” He grunted, a small smirk forming on his lips.

His mouth covered your own instead as he swallowed your mewls, you could feel the tightness return in your belly, the tight coil that pulled tight, tight, tighter. His lips slid away from yours, wet and swollen and his breathing harsh as he tried to suck in air again, and everything was too much. It was just too much for you to handle.

He quickened his pace, his hips snapped up to yours to a fast tempo. “This pussy was made for this cock, isn’t it, baby girl?”

His hands couldn’t get enough of you, sliding around your hips and lower back, wanting to feel all of you, touch you everywhere. You moaned at the feeling of his speed, your fourth? orgasm of the night, coming so close. Your arms wrapped around him and your nails dig in his back making him groan. The feeling of the coil tightening in your belly, tingling down to your legs, ready to snap at any moment.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, cursing under his breath when you purposefully tighten your walls around him. “You look so pretty when you’re stretched around my cock, Christ I bet you’d look so pretty full of my cum too.”

“Please…” you moaned as you thought about him filling you up. “Please Joel, fill this pussy up.”

He groaned as he buried his face into your neck as he fucked into you, making the whole bed rattle at his force.

“You want to cum sweetheart?”

You nodded frantically at his words with your eyes closed as you bit your lip harshly. He brought one of his hands down, rubbing your clit with enough pressure to ensure you’d cum.

“F-fuck fuuuck, Joel-Joel, oh my god. I’m going to—!”

“Cum for me, my pretty angel. Let yourself go. Cum all over me.” He moaned against your ear.

Your whole body trembled as you came with a loud cry, your body squirming underneath his as you held his body closer to yours, your nails digging in his back, scratching it. That time around, the orgasm felt more intense than the others, you were feeling so overwhelmed by the pleasure. Joel groaned in your ear as your walls spasmed and pulsed around his cock, begging him to cum inside, desperate for him to fill you up the way he promised.

“Fuck,“ he moaned, pushing himself up as he thrust deeper into you, the head of his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. “You want me to fill this pussy up? Until it’s all full and messy?”

You nodded vigorously at his words, whining even more at the sensitivity. Your pussy squeezed around his cock in anticipation. “Please…”

He groaned loudly, as he cummed inside you. The warmth of his seed filled you up and spread within your walls. You whimpered at the feel of his cum dripping out of you.

Once both of you caught your breaths, Joel leaned his forehead against yours before kissing you tenderly.

“Please… stay.” You moaned softly.

“Of course baby,” he whispered before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Want you to stay inside.” You whimpered as your pussy clenched around him.

Joel groaned, wrapping his arms around you before rolling both of you onto your sides. “anythin’ for you, baby.”

“I love you Joel.” You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck, enjoying his strong hold on you.

“I love you too sweetheart. You’re everythin’ to me.”

Both of you continued to caress each other’s bodies, whispering sweet nothings, kissing and holding each other until you both fell into a slumber.

Joel caught your heart, promising to hold onto it forever.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller x female reader #tlou x reader #tlou x you #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fic #my writing #I’m aware that there are lots of grammatical errors and just me accidentally switching tenses #I’m just too tired to fix it all 😭

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naughtyneganjdm · 1 year

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Jealousy

Summary: Jealousy was not something you were used to feeling, but with your older sister Tess with Joel Miller that's all you seem to feel. One day when you're alone on watch with Joel, you tell him how you feel and Joel's curiosity leads to a night of pleasure between you.

Characters: Joel Miller, & the reader (OC, second person).

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49656460

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, smut, rough sex, oral (both m + f receiving), cheating, spanking, etc.

Notes: I just wanted to write something short and quick for a Joel one shot. Hope you like it. I'm not used to doing second person as of late, so I hope it's okay.

Jealousy was not a feeling you were used to, especially when it came to your older sister Tess. You loved the hell out of her. But anytime you saw Tess with Joel Miller you felt incredible amounts of jealousy. When your group hooked up with Tommy and Joel, you were the first to meet Joel and immediately you were attracted to him. Both him and his brother had protected you from a group of raiders. When you first laid eyes on Joel, he was brutal. Killing men without question with blood covering his face, but when he spoke to you after he saved you, he was soft spoken and kind. There was something about his southern drawl and his chocolate brown eyes that appealed to you.

But rather quickly him and Tess started to connect and there was nothing that you could do about it. On your journey to the next stop your group was planning you watched Joel and Tess get closer and you felt so jealous of it. You wondered what drew him to Tess and not you. What was it about her that made Joel latch onto her? What were you missing that she wasn’t?

Right now you should have been listening because the group was talking about their next plan to get more supplies. The group was settled in the middle of the woods right now and they always assigned two people to watch over the supplies while the rest of the group went on a run.

Joel and Tess took on the role of the leaders and while they stood before the group all you could do was stare out at Joel as he stood before everyone. His arms were folded out in front of his chest and you felt your throat going dry staring out at him. The veins were prominent in his strong arms and it made your throat go dry while you ogled him. Lowering your stare, your eyes fell to the center of Joel’s pants and the bulge made you lick your lips. You could only imagine what Joel had going on down there. Some nights you heard Joel and Tess together from your tent which made things so complicated for you. With the noises that Tess made, it sounded like Joel was a beast in the sack, but that wasn’t something you should have been thinking when it was the man that was dating your sister. Well, at least that’s what it seemed like. Joel never put a label on things, but with them hooking up that’s what it seemed.

“Hey! Are you listening?” Tess called out your name snapping her fingers at you, pulling your attention back to your sister who seemed frustrated that you weren’t paying attention. “You heard me say that you and Joel are going to be the ones stationed here to protect our supplies?”

“Yeah, of course,” you nodded your head. That was a lie. You didn’t hear any of that, but you weren’t sure how that made you feel. Being alone with Joel for who knows how long was going to be awkward. Especially with how you felt toward him.

“I still think I’m more useful on the road than I am here,” Joel grumbled under his breath and it made you roll your eyes knowing that he likely didn’t want to be stuck here with you. Tess turned him away from the group and you stood up from the ground, kicking at the dirt when you moved near the stream that was by the camp.

You stayed there until people started moving out and after a while you heard the sound of someone clearing their throat as they approached you standing by the water, “You don’t like me all that much, do you?”

“What?” you snickered hearing the familiarity in Joel’s voice and you chuckled at the idea of you being the one that didn’t like him. “I was pretty sure it was you that didn’t like me all that much.”

“What in God’s name would make you think that?” Joel headed over toward the big rock that was in the distance beside the water to take a seat on top of it. “You’re the one that runs off in the other direction anytime I’m around you.”

“It’s complicated,” you noted feeling the heat of the sun over you and you let out a tense breath. Gazing back, you saw that everyone was gone and you shrugged your shoulders. “Plus, you’re not much of a talker Joel.”

“Touché,” Joel stared out at the water hooking his arms around his knees. “What’s your problem with me then?”

“I don’t like you with my sister,” you answered honestly not bothering to look at him when you spoke.

“I’m not with your sister,” Joel corrected shifting uncomfortably on the rock that he was sitting on.

“Then what is it that you would call that you have going on between the two of you?” you inquired, your eyebrow raising in curiosity and Joel huffed.

“I don’t know,” Joel shrugged his shoulders, his face twisting with an emotion you couldn’t read. “It’s complicated.”

“Fair enough,” you breathed out, reaching down to pick up one of the smaller stones that were at your feet. Tossing it out toward the water, you didn’t know what to say to that. On the one hand, you should have been angry that Joel was weird about his relationship with your sister for Tess, but you were just mad about it for yourself. You wanted Joel’s attention.

“Why does it bother you that I’m close to your sister?” Joel wondered, his eyes squinting and his hand raising up to try to block the sun that was shining in his eyes so he could see you by the water.

“Just forget it,” you replied with a frown hating that you brought it up in the first place because he would probably bring it up to Tess later. Which would start a fight between the two of you.

Grabbing another stone, you tossed it out into the water again and heard Joel jumping down from where he was, “You’re doing it wrong.”

“I’m doing what wrong?” you snapped when Joel moved in beside you, kneeling down to search for a certain kind of stone. Once he stood back up, he reached for your hand and you pulled away from him like his touch was fire. “What are you doing?”

“Teaching you something,” Joel frowned moving in behind you to place the stone in your hand. Turning your body had his hand settling in over your hip causing your eyes to slam shut tightly. The warmth of his breath lingered at the back of your neck as he adjusted you once more. “You need a flatter stone like this one. And you have to throw it like this…”

Joel used your body to instruct you on how to throw one of the stones to get it to skip across the water. It skipped three times before stopping and Joel grumbled. Releasing you left your heart hammering inside of your chest. That was the first time that Joel had you in his arms and you were effected by it more than you should have been.

“If you weren’t so tense it should have been more like this,” Joel grabbed a stone for himself to show you what it was like when he skipped a stone across the water. It went on for a bit before finally coming to a stop. “I’m not going to hurt you when I touch you, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know,” you simply stated reaching for one of the kind of stones he had instructed you to grab. Doing what he had taught you, you watched it skip across the water a few times and Joel clapped his hands together.

“See, keep practicing and you will get better,” Joel grumbled, dropping down to the ground to sit near the edge of the water with you standing beside him. “Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to listen to me y’know? I might actually know what I’m talking about.”

“Could you stop acting like I have a problem with you? Because I don’t,” you declared lowering down on the ground beside him and his curious brown eyes were on you. “In fact, I like you. I like you a lot.”

“I’m confused,” Joel stammered, his eyebrows furrowing when he glanced between you and the water. God, men were so blind to things at times.

“That’s the problem Joel. I like you too much,” you confessed finally looking to him feeling a heat flooding into your cheeks. “From the first moment I saw you I was crushing on you. I thought I made it pretty obvious and at first, I thought you liked me back, but then you started hooking up with my sister and I realized pretty quickly that it was just you being nice because you liked my sister.”

“What?” Joel snickered, his dimples becoming clear when he found amusement in what you said.

“You know what? Never mind,” you felt embarrassed that you admitted your biggest secret to him and he laughed at you about it. Before you could stand up, you felt Joel’s thick fingers curling around your wrist urging you to sit back down. “It’s not funny. I’m serious.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Joel wondered, his nose wrinkling and you shrugged your shoulders. There was a silence that filled the air around you and you frowned. “I reckon that makes sense now why you run off all the time. What about Tommy?”

“What about Tommy?” you repeated, irritated at the mention of Joel’s younger brother. “We barely talk as it is.”

“Well he’s closer to your age,” Joel pointed out tossing his hand up in the air trying to persuade you to like his brother and you laughed. “You’re younger than Tommy. It would make more sense with you hooking up with someone like him than it would you hooking up with someone like me.”

“So I’m too young for you?” you confirmed hearing Joel let out a loud exhale and his eyes shifted as if he was trying to think of something to say. “What do you mean someone like you?”

“I mean, I’m older,” Joel waved his hand about and you rolled your eyes. Acting like there was a huge age gap between the two of you was ridiculous. “I’m quiet. A lone wolf. You’re more like Tommy. Talkative. Innocent.”

“Am I not attractive to you?” you felt like he was just making excuses at this point.

“You’re very attractive,” Joel blurt out, holding his hand up to silence you from speaking. “I’m flattered that you like me. I am. But I’m with your sister, I’m not sure what you expect me to do about it.”

“I don’t expect you to do anything about it, but I’m sure Tess will hear all about it and I will get lectured for having a crush on you,” you suggested with a frown, reaching up to pinch at the bridge of your nose damning yourself for even telling Joel in the first place. “Please, just forget that I told you.”

“I’m not going to run to your sister and tell her,” Joel assured you with a grunt, adjusting his positioning on the ground beside you. “I just…even if I wanted to do something with you, I can’t just stop what I have with your sister. It would be awkward and we’ve connected. Your sister would kill me.”

“What made you pick her to begin with?” you were curious, but you knew you would probably hate the answer.

“Your sister is a badass. She’s strong, a natural leader, beautiful,” Joel began waving his hand about and you lowered your head knowing that Tess was always the one that stood out even at home with your family. Tess was always your family’s favorite between the two of you. “And she made the first move.”

“So if I would have made the first move, you would have picked me?” you tossed out the idea and Joel shrugged his shoulders, the face he made was incredibly dramatic.

“We’ll never know because you didn’t make your move,” Joel suggested with a growl, his dark eyes narrowing. “You have nothing but yourself to blame. Speak up next time you want something.”

“Wow, fuck you,” you let out an annoyed breath going to push up from where you were seated. Moving swiftly, Joel’s rough fingers led you toward him claiming your lips in a faint kiss. After a moment like that, you should have reacted better but when Joel pulled back to stare up at you with his dark eyes you found yourself frozen. You knew you could have smacked him for being a dick right before, but you were confused with the kiss. What the hell was that? Joel’s thumb stroked over your chin before he stood up before you, his other hand cupping your face. His palm was rough and it tickled at your flesh causing a shuddering exhale to fall from your throat. “What are you doing?”

“You don’t always have to question everything, y’know that right?” Joel wondered, leaning forward to tease his lips over yours. The warmth of his breath lingering had your eyes fluttering to a close and you tipped your head back. Just barely his lips touched yours, skimming over them and it made a chill run down your spine. “Just relax sometimes.”

After that, he brought your lips together in a stronger kiss. This time it was prominent and it made your lips part allowing Joel’s tongue to brush up against yours and you purred. Maybe being alone with Joel wasn’t so bad after all. Amusement flooded his features when he pulled back just enough to look down at you. Placing your hand over the center of Joel’s chest, you tipped up on your toes in attempts to kiss him further, but he pulled away.

“Now I have to go be on watch,” Joel informed you with an entertained smirk, pointing back toward the front. Having him stepping back and away from you just left you confused. “We do have a job to do after all.”

“Joel,” you called out to him when he started to walk away and you felt your heartbeat racing. What the hell was that? Why would he tease you like that? Was he really so cruel that he would be playing with your emotions after you told him how you felt about him.

Throughout the rest of the day, you hardly ever interacted with Joel. He had the front of the camp. You had the back. That’s how things went. And when the group came back, Joel barely even acknowledged you. When you were sitting around by the fire talking before bed, his eyes connected with yours and he smiled but that was it. It was like all of that was nothing but a dream. Why did he even bother to kiss you like that in the first place?

Once you were in your own tent, you found yourself touching your lips. Your thoughts lingered on the way that his lips felt against yours and the way he tasted. Attempting to get comfortable, you heard the sound of the zipper on your tent opening and you pushed yourself up ready to attack whoever was entering your tent.

“At ease soldier,” Joel’s deep voice rumbled causing you to give him an odd expression. Kneeling at the front of your tent, he had one of his hands raised and he was laughing. That was a rare thing from Joel. You weren’t used to that kind of thing from him. Also, Joel never came to your tent at night. Crawling into your tent, Joel zipped it up behind him and stared out at you through the small amount of light that was left from the solar lantern that you had yet to turn off. “You really like me?”

“I do,” you responded, your mouth going dry confused why he was in your tent with you.

“I can’t drop what I have with your sister,” Joel explained reaching for the back of his shirt to pull it from his body causing you to let out a surprised sound. Immediately your eyes were focusing on his shirtless abdomen. Joel’s biceps were strong and so were his shoulders. His stomach was a little soft, but you liked it. Yanking the blanket that you had over you off, he reached for your pants and started to tug at them. You didn’t fight him when he got them down your legs and tossed them aside with your shirt. “But I’m okay having something with you too if that’s what you want. It just can’t be…public.”

“Where’s Tess?” you inquired and Joel gave a half smirk.

“She’s out cold. It was a rough day and I came over here,” he whispered hooking his arms underneath your hips to pull you out closer to him getting you on your back. Hooking his fingers into your panties had you tremoring beneath him and he smiled. “You’re so much more innocent than your sister, aren’t you? See, your sister, she’s the dominating one. But you, you just want to be dominated, don’t you?”

“Joel,” you gasped out watching him lowering down onto his stomach, resting himself between your thighs. Faint kisses were being pressed over the insides of your thighs and you dropped your head back. You should have been telling him no, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do that. Once his lips found their way to your core, you had to silence yourself knowing that any sound could awaken someone in the camp and that was the last thing you wanted. Lifting your head up, you saw that Joel’s eyes were focused on you while he lapped his tongue at the length of your sex. Circling his tongue around your clitoris had your thighs tensing up and you bit firmly down onto your bottom lip to silence yourself. “Fuck.”

“I know it’s hard sweetheart, but you’re gonna have to stay quiet. If you can’t, we’ll never be able to pull something off like this,” Joel pulled his mouth away with a wet sound outstretching his hand to turn the lantern down to the minimum amount of lighting. You hated that because you would have liked to have seen him clearer, but you understood why he did it. Getting comfortable again, he traced his fingers up the length of your body and hummed when your hips arched up toward him. “Good girl.”

Forcing yourself to stay quiet while Joel pleasured you was incredibly hard. Joel knew exactly what he was doing to you with his tongue and mouth. And he was good at it too. Clasping tightly to the blankets, you bit down on your bottom lip muting yourself while he feasted on you. Every flick of his tongue was strong and powerful before he suckled at your clit causing you to arch up toward him. Tossing your head back, you closed your eyes tightly rocking yourself against Joel’s face while he ate you out. Even the sounds he was making had your body tremoring.

You wanted to scream out his name. You wanted to say something, but all you could do when you felt him inserting one of his thick fingers into you was reach down and hook tightly to his hair. There was no going slow with this. Joel pumped his finger into you at the same tempo of his tongue and soon he had you a shaking mess beneath him when your body gave way to him allowing an orgasm to hit you hard.

Barely giving you any time to come down from your high, you felt Joel crawling in over you and behind hooded eyes you watched him eagerly pulling apart the belt in his pants. Once it was separated, he was pulling at his jeans and opened them. Pushing them down, he urged the front of his boxer briefs down with them and allowed his cock to spring free from behind the material.

“Jesus,” you licked your lips at the sight of him before you amongst the small amount of light. Seeing his cock hard and throbbing before you made your mouth water. Now you got it. The sounds your sister made at night, it was because Joel was big.

“Come here,” Joel’s fingers wrapped around his length, stroking his fingers over his distended flesh had your eyes focused on his movements. Getting up on your hands, you felt Joel’s other hand reaching out to curl around the back of your neck. Leading you toward his erection, Joel teased the tip of his cock over your wet lips. “You have the prettiest lips, y’know that?”

Humming out, you pressed wet kisses against the tip hearing him silently groan while you took your time. After a few teasing kisses, you felt him pushing his cock harder over your lips. Parting them, you allowed him to sink his length into your mouth and he might have been a little too eager because it made you gag at first. Joel was big, it wasn’t like you were going to be able to take him all at once.

Grasping a tight hold of his bare hips, you dug your fingers into his flesh while Joel’s fingers sank into your hair helping you to lead your mouth over his length. Twirling your tongue around the tip allowed you to collect the taste of him over your tongue and you purred. It would have been nice to have a little bit more control, but you understood that with your sister Joel likely never had much of that. So you allowed him to control the movements your mouth made over his thick member.

Wet sounds filled the small tent and when you pulled your mouth back, it made a slurping sound fall from your lips when you licked over them. Looking up at Joel with an innocent stare had him moaning out and his cock twitched before you.

“Please,” you begged causing Joel to swallow down hard enough for you to hear. Grabbing a hold of your shirt, Joel pulled it up and over your arms tossing it to the ground. Helping him get your bra unhooked, you huffed when you felt Joel flipping you over onto your stomach. “Can I look at you first? Please? We can do that soon, but I just…I want to look at you.”

Huffing out, Joel allowed you to turn onto your back and he lowered down in over you. A nervous breath fell from your lips when Joel reached for his rigid cock, tapping the swollen tip against your clitoris. Truthfully? You were nervous. Joel was big and you assumed this was going to hurt.

“Joel,” you whispered out when he got comfortable between your thighs. Tracing your fingers over the side of his face had his brown eyes gazing into yours. Teasing through the facial hair over his jawline, you lifted up to bring your lips together to kiss him tenderly. “Could you be gentle at first? I hear what you’re like with Tess and you’re just big…you can get rougher, but just let me get used to you, please?”

“I’ll do my best,” he breathed out, balancing his weight on his left hand while his right led it toward your entrance. Having the tip at your opening made you want to pull your hips away, but you allowed him to push his hips forward letting him enter you. It was uncomfortable, but in a way, you were willing to continue. Dropping his other hand down, Joel moved in over you and watched your expressions. “More?”

“Go ahead,” you instructed, biting down on your bottom lip when he rolled his hips just slightly watching your hot canal take more of him inside of you. Your left hand was curled around the back of his neck, your right tracing down to his lower abdomen where it was soft to pause his movements. Lifting your head up, you knew you couldn’t cry out. Joel was stretching you. Unlike any man ever had before and it was uncomfortable, but your body craved having him further inside of you. Rocking your hips at his length, trying to open yourself up to what you already had inside of you had Joel’s eyes coming to a tight close. “Just do it.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel spoke finally rolling his hips forward, his left hand sliding up to cover your lips when he knew you wouldn’t be able to hold back the cry that escaped your lips. Joel lowered down close to you, bottoming out and it made your back arch. Fuck, you thought you were ready for that. Starting to press kisses over the side of your neck, Joel took his time in pulling his hips back before pressing forward. Your legs hooked around his waist, your heels digging into the area just below his bottom allowing you to feel the muscle flex beneath them with every thrust he made. “You’re so damn tight. Goddamn it.”

Whimpering, you felt Joel’s fingers getting tighter around your lips to keep you silent. With every thrust he made, your body started getting use to the feeling of him filling you, stretching you in ways you never had. Joel was used to being quiet, you could tell that. There was no question he had trained himself to be that way. Any source of pleasure was coming from his facial features. And he seemed to like being buried deep inside of you.

Once you seemed to not be as tense, Joel’s thrusts grew strong. His head was buried against the side of your neck while your fingers dug into his shoulder. You knew that you couldn’t leave a mark on him. It was something that Tess would question, so you didn’t hurt him. But hell, the way he was with you, you knew that he would be leaving marks. Attempting to lift your head, you watched his cock filling you again and again, your hips rocking up toward his and you were starting to feel hot all over. Each thrust sounded wetter and you threw your head back. Joel never let go of your mouth and with the orgasm that hit you with his balls smacking up against you it was probably smart. Whining against his hand, you felt him pulling out of you and it made you wince. God, it ached with him in you, but it hurt worse without him.

Forcefully, Joel turned you over onto your stomach and pulled you up onto your knees. Pushing at the center of your back, he still kept your face pressed into the pillows. No doubt in attempts to keep you quiet. Joel’s left hand was at the back of your neck, while his right grasped a hold of your hips. With a powerful thrust forward, Joel was inside of you again pounding away. Each thrust was hard with flesh smacking up against flesh.

Curling your fingers around the blanket, you knew that you would have rather been watching Joel over you, but he was making you his in the way he wanted. And you were certainly going to be feeling it after tonight. Pulling his hand from your neck, Joel’s hands squeezed at your bottom testing the flesh in his grasp. Over and over again he filled you and it felt like he was testing you to see if you would make some kind of sound. If it meant getting to be with him again, you were going to be as quiet as you possibly could.

Wincing, you closed your eyes when you felt Joel spanking firmly over your bottom. It made you bounce forward, but his hands were quick to pull you back to him so he could continue his strong thrusts. Another spank made you bounce your hips forward, your eyes slamming shut when he caressed over your stinging flesh. Smack. There was another and you purred out when the pain started to ease. It was like you were being punished in the most delicious way possible.

“Good girl,” Joel praised you, spanking you once more finding amusement in the way your hips started to bounce back toward his thrusts. “We’ll have your tight little pussy perfect and ready for me whenever we can manage to sneak these visits in.”

In that moment, your body tensed up and he moaned. God, that was rare, but hearing that moan was the most intoxicating thing you had ever heard. It led a chill down your spine and you felt like you were on fire. You wanted to hear more of it and you repeated what you had done before.

“You’re being bad,” Joel moaned out his chest flexing and his balls tightening up. Pushing into your lower back had you laying flat out against your stomach. Crawling in over you, Joel braced himself on his arms when he lowered down, his lips kissing in over your jawline. Urging you to close your legs up left you extremely tight while he thrust into you vigorously. “If you can continue to be a good girl, we can keep this whole thing up. You feel so good, I have no problem doing this again.”

Outstretching his hands, Joel reached for your fingers hooking them with his. Repeatedly he filled you, his cock starting to throb inside of you. Crying out into the pillow, your eyes slammed shut when Joel bit at your jawline. With a groan, Joel pulled his hips back releasing your right hand when he started to pump his fingers around his cock. Warm sprays of his cum over your bottom were felt and the warmth of his breath lingered over your ear. Pressing kisses against your flesh, Joel continued to stroke over his body until the last strand of his cum covered your lower back.

“You did so good,” Joel slurred, nipping at your earlobe. Tapping his cock against your bottom a few times, Joel sighed and started to pull his pants back up over his hips. Pushing his softening cock back into his pants and boxer briefs Joel fell back onto your blankets beside you and panted. You didn’t have the energy to move. Joel wore you out and he did a good job of it. “I reckon that’s everything you wanted.”

“And more,” you whispered, your eyelids heavy hearing him chuckle. Reaching into his pocket, Joel pulled out a tissue and you felt him cleaning up the mess that he made over your ass and back. With an amused sound, Joel reached for his t-shirt and pulled it back over his body. Curling his finger in underneath your chin, he pulled your head up enough for him to place a few kisses over your lips. “Are you leaving?”

“I have to,” Joel replied nodding toward the area you knew the tent that he shared with Tess was. “She can wake up at any time. But this was nice. I liked this. We should do it again sometime soon. Next time you will be more ready for me with that tight little pussy of yours.”

“Joel,” you called out when he went to head for the zipper to get out. “One more kiss.”

With a smirk, Joel pushed forward onto his hands to claim your lips in a kiss. It lingered on with his fingers stroking over the side of your face and a smile followed when he looked you over once you parted.

“Get some sleep,” Joel instructed, nipping your bottom lip. Once he started to undo the zipper of your tent, he sighed. “You’re going to need some rest. Your body needs it.”

And with that, Joel left your tent leaving you alone after your incredible sex with him. Your body was still shaking, your heart hammering inside of your chest and you sighed. What you had just done with the person your sister was close to was so wrong, but you didn’t care. You wanted Joel for so long and if this was the only way you were going to get him, you were going to take it. Because Joel was just too damn good to give up.

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