#Men's Backpacks In Dubai

[damilano]

Stylish Men's Backpacks In Dubai, UAE

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[johnypage95]

[papirouge]

Do France have passport bros? Those guys that fly overseas to other countries expecting foreign women to love them for being western with money because apparently all western women are whores/too masculine/only care about money when those same guys also expect those women to be feminine, submissive, and family oriented while ALSO going 50:50 on bills

My brother just came back from backpacking all across the damn planet and got his ass HANDED to him by every woman he tried to date. He was the type to obsess over red pill videos and complain about how all girls in the west are old miserable single cat ladies and he convinced himself that he deserved a submissive wife. So he traveled a lot. He went to east Asia (Japan and Korea), got rejected. He flew to Vietnam and the Philippines and couldn’t find a girl there to stay with him. He went to Baltic countries and told my parents how he was scared of the men there when he tried to ask out the women. And when some girls did talk to him, they quickly left him. He couldn’t get a girl in Dubai to even look at him. Like, girls in the west have him a chance but none of these supposedly submissive girls did. Why? Well he would tell them that they needed to pay their bills for dinner while also telling them how he liked them for being feminine and “knowing their place”. So they ignored him and moved on. They expected this “alpha male” to be the provider which he thought wasn’t right because he was used to going 50:50 on dates. I’m embarrassed for him but also he had been bullying me for years for going to college and studying to be a doctor soooo 💀

Hm passeport bro aren't really a thing here tbh.

The whole incel wave contagion is becoming a thing on french internet but IRL there aren't men dedicated to go out of their way to marry women oversea.

Traveling to get married isn't really a novelty but rather a boomer thing here though. It's mostly old celibate men who go to matrimonial agency to marry eastern women (there are agency spefically for French men looking for eastern women) - but they are looked down by younger generation as losers lmao. technically these men aren't "passport bro" though because in the EU we can travel within the whole continent without passeport lol

The average french man is a bro choicer libfem ally so they wouldn't stand a traditional wife reluctant to split bills, not very pro abortion, housewife, etc. That's why "liberated" french women remain french men preference (there are still foreign women fetishist ofc - esp the nationalists ones 👀 one of the most infamous far right trolls here has a fetish for Black women for example)

And looking into the story of your passport bro brother, I'm not surprised he got rejected. Foreign women are starting to get the memo. Ofc there will always be pickme but even oversea women of value don't hand them over the first Western guy who gives them attention. Because they too know their worth. Western men are truly overestimating themselves. Beside, they aren't the only one in the market: Arab, Nigerian, East Asian men are great prices in the game of high value men. That's where all the new money is at. Not Joshua with a backpack.

Those women are smart. They are waaaay ahead Western women when it comes to hypergamy strategy that's why passeport bro get real shock when they realize that average women have such high standards. They won't have sex with them without a ring on. They won't split the bills. They won't accept Netflix & chill or 'taking a coffee' as a decent date. Passeport bro feel entitled to high value men privilege, while providing average men credentials. That's why it will never work out for them.

And let's not forget that the oversea women men won't let them go like that. Don't passeport bro get regularly assaulted, scammed or beat up in the shady countries they're going to? Men can be very protective of 'their' women, and that's something passeport didn't anticipate. Passeport bro are losers, so of course it would never occur to them to protect their women (especially Black diaspora men who are the most anti traditional and fail abiding in their masculine role of protecting women - African men stil abide in traditional roles though) but when they face men from other demographics actually doing the job they get shook. That's why the passeport bro movement couldn't become a thing of great amplitude. One time or another, those countries men would stop them from flocking over there (blocking their visa, like some countries did with Westerners adopting children because they championed child abuse 💀)

[dubaitoursandtravels]

Dos and Don’ts in Desert Safari Dubai

There is something appealing and alluring about the vast golden deserts of Dubai. The ever-shifting sand dunes of the desert can be both cruel and breathtaking. But this is where life existed during earlier times. While the Arabs moved to the city several decades ago, a few tribes still live in the desert even in the 21st century. Moreover, the Emiratis of Dubai have been able to preserve their desert culture through the desert safari. The Dubai desert safari gives tourists and locals the chance to spend time in the middle of the desert, enjoying its raw beauty and many adventurous and entertaining activities. However, it is essential to learn some important things before going on a desert safari. Here are the dos and don'ts to follow when you go on a desert safari.

Dos for Desert Safari

Try All Activities

A desert safari is filled with unique, adventurous activities. You will get to ride a camel like how the Arabs commuted in the desert. Apart from this, there is dune bashing, which is akin to a rollercoaster ride. At the desert camp, you have sandboarding (like snowboarding) and quad biking. Most desert safaris include all these activities in their tour package. While some of these activities may seem scary, you must try all of them to make the most of your desert safari experience.

Travel Light

Are you someone who must carry a huge bag with you wherever you go? You may find it useful most of the time, but avoid doing it when you are going on a desert safari. It is best to travel as light as possible when on a desert safari tour. This is to avoid any kind of inconvenience when you are trying out different adventurous activities. The best thing to do is to carry a small backpack or a small tote bag containing only essentials like water, emergency medicines, etc.

Wear the Right Clothes

While there is no dress safari dress code, avoid skimpy or revealing clothes. Both men and women should opt for lightweight fabrics like cotton and linen. Clothes made of synthetic materials should be completely avoided.

The perfect desert safari outfit for females would be cotton tops and long pants. Shorts are also acceptable, but shorts that are too tiny should be avoided. This is not only considered inappropriate but may also cause burns. Wearing long pants can also prevent sand from getting on your legs. It is best to avoid skirts or maxi dresses for desert safari, as they can cause you discomfort while trying out adventurous activities.

The ideal desert safari outfit for males would be long, comfortable pants and t-shirts or shirts. Jeans should be avoided as they can make you feel uncomfortable in the heat. Both men and women should carry a light sweater or jacket, as the temperature drops down considerably after sundown, making the desert a bit chilly. A cap, hat, scarf, and sunglasses are necessary to protect you from the sun.

Stay Hydrated

The sun’s heat in the desert is extra harsh. To keep yourself cooler, it is important to keep yourself hydrated. Carry a bottle of water and keep sipping water throughout your stay in the desert. Water and non-alcoholic beverages are also available in the desert.

Apply Sunscreen

You also need to protect your skin from the harsh effects of the desert sun. Apply sunscreen on every exposed part of your body at least 30 minutes before you reach the desert. It will be a good idea to carry a tube of sunscreen with you and apply it every few hours till sunset.

Don’ts for Desert Safari

Avoid Overeating

If you are planning to indulge in desert adventures, especially dune bashing, do not eat too much during lunchtime. Have a light lunch to avoid feeling nauseous or getting sick during your dune bashing or camel riding session.

Do Not Wear Heavy Accessories

Avoid heavy accessories like chunky earrings, necklaces, belts, etc. These can hurt you or others around you while you are trying out the different activities.

Do Not Ignore Instructions of Your Guide

Your desert guide's job is to ensure that you remain safe during the desert safari adventure. Hence, it is imperative that you listen to his instructions carefully. Follow all the precautions before trying out any of the activities to ensure your complete safety.

Avoid Adventurous Activities in Case of Health Issues

If you are a heart patient or if you are suffering from chronic back pain, you must avoid desert adventurous activities like dune bashing. The same is the case for pregnant women.

Refrain from Disrespecting the Desert Eco-System

The desert has a unique ecosystem, one you must not mistreat or mishandle. Do not harm the flora and fauna of the desert in any way. Also, do not litter anywhere in the desert. Leave the desert the way you found it when you arrived.

Avoid Carrying Valuables

The desert safari camp will include lots of people. Some desert camps are big enough to accommodate thousands of people. In such a situation, it is easy to lose things. Hence, it would be best to avoid taking any valuables with you. This includes your passport, loads of cash, jewelry, electronics, etc.

Each desert safari company will have its own set of rules and regulations. Make sure you read them thoroughly so that you can enjoy a problem-free desert safari experience.

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[battleguqin]

How had she gotten into this situation ? Sizhui had missed his flight. One of the children he had looked in on had gotten an organ from a "private doner" which was also him. Not that anyone would know this since he had the money to bump a child up the list. So he had been in a operation theater when his plane had departed.

The men had been acting strangely before they had decided to target his client. He had moved swiftly his body surged forward and the wind had picked up surprisingly fast to case the bullets the scatter in a pattern that would hit those targeting the area he would be occupying. The wind shield around him brought with it hints of the storm, of fresh rainfall. "Yes, what are you doing?" he asked looking down at her brows drawn together his purple eyes almost glowed in the shadow of the building he had trapped her against.

The man was surprisingly sturdy when her hand pressed into him to push him back. He didn't move. "I was called to operate on a young man who did not have very long to get a new lung, so I missed my flight to Dubai." he stated I was watching a bunch of men dressed in dark clothing clearly carrying weapons come here and I thought someone might be hurt." he smoothly answered. "Its not just a secret base, it is a training ground I have healed some of the people who worked here--in the past." he drew back and a single brow arched "How is it you were not paying attention ?" he countered. She knew better than to ask questions like these.

"I wouldn't have come here if some men had not been acting shady." he answered as he didn't know she would be there when he realized she was he had chosen to act. "This compound was owned by a friend of mine." he said "Its often used by his child, who is a no-do-Weller and always in some trouble or the other and shaming his father." he stated. "your targets ?" he repeated curiously.

He glanced down the tunnel and back to her. "Apparently." he stated with a frown. He was not a fan of that idea. "Though there are other ways." he added mysteriously.

Sizhui gave a nod "There are reasons behind that." he stated seriously "Usually for your protection and my own." he said as he stepped back. Pulled his glasses from his face and folded them to tuck into the inner pocket of his black jacket. "I am not the one in question here Hua Mulan." he stated firmly. "You know what you need to know about me, the questions I ask are for the protection of those I work for." he reinforced the statement. "Why you came here, is not a concern of mine, but the income has to be listed even if it is as other so the government get's its due." he shook his head. People went to jail where they were from for tax evasion often.

"Why would I stop you ?" he asked her curiously He pulled the backpack from his shoulders and opened it. He pulled Cloud from it. "Hello, dear one." he said to the cat and hugged him "Are you ready to sneak ?" he asked him. Cloud gave a small jingle of his bell. Sizhui opened a side panel of the cat carrier and pulled a small vest which he quickly put the cat in. Than activated the bell and opened his phone. "Can you scout ahead for us, stay hidden." he added adjusting the little cap over his head and ears for further protection.

Not that anything firing on his Cat was going to ever have a chance to do it again. Sizhui always took precautions. "Usually, Cloud protects my room and sends feed to my phone of anyone or anything entering it." he lifted his chin. "This is not much different."

@adversitybloomed

🌸  ┊ letter received from  @battleguqin       Lan Sizhui : "what in the world were you trying to do ?" / 𓏲 🌸 : ⌗ THE        SWAN        PRINCESS (     1994      )

          Mulan's lips pursed as she looked up at him, his body pressing her own as he had her back pushed against the wall in order to protect her from the oncoming rapid gunfire. unlike this attack, his sudden appearance had surprised her, for she had not expected him to be here, for she had thought that he would already be on his flight to Dubai.

        ❝  w-what am i doing ?  ❞    she sputtered, cheeks slightly tinted pink at his closeness, before she lifted her hand to try and give them both some space,       ❝  i am not the one who just misses their flight and comes into a hotspot for an attack... what exactly were you thinking Doctor ? you could have been hurt or worse, killed.  ❞    she paused as she realized from her brief touch at just how toned he was ━━ almost as if he were toned from specialized training.

          her brows drew together as she continued to watch him, realization starting to dawn on her as to why he never seemed to question her fiancés.       ❝  before you start, i am fine. i did this on purpose... i did not expect anyone to follow me in here for it clearly is a secret base, given the amount of guards posted even in the sewers ━━ how did you sneak up on me without detection ?  ❞    she asked, almost accusingly before she heard the shout of another language, and the reloading of weapons. sighing, she figured it was already too late to have him leave and she had a sinking feeling that he was here because of her.

        ❝  look its a long story, but there was no way into this compound without triggering the guards. they seem to be ready no matter what location they are in... and given my sources, this is the one that is the best to penetrate, given today is when many are on leave due to the holiday.  ❞    she took a chance of good faith, since he did in fact come in and had moved swiftly enough to protect her,      ❝  while they are barbaric in their ways, they have a sophisticated system, one that tells me that they are backed by government money and since my targets are deep within this compound plotting their next large scale attack, i had to take the risk.  ❞    pausing for a moments breath, she lifted her hand from his chest to motion to the right of her a tunnel that smelled.     ❝  we have to go into there if we want to get through without anymore gunfire.  ❞

          wrinkling her nose a little, she let loose a slight sigh and winced a little,      ❝  i know your clause says i should not lie to you and i have not. i just did not tell the whole truth of why i came to New York, though i suspect you have not been the most forthcoming as well. i am not here on vacation, i am here because the people behind the attack in our country are here and they are planning another attack all because they are after my friend. but, they are endangering innocent lives, including children, so i am here to put an end to it. and while i am grateful you pulled me from the line of fire, we cannot afford to linger here much longer... so i must ask, are you going to assist me or try to stop me ?  ❞

[johnlajara22]

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[kiheons]

aquaria screaming at the top of her lungs, her throat raw and her throwing things at Brianna, they're in a really bad fight and Bri has to calm he down from hyperventilating

I’m gonna preface this by saying that if your partner ever throws something at you during an argument, regardless of how upset they are, you get the fuck out of that relationship as fast as you can because that person clearly doesn’t know how to control themselves or their anger. Please take care of yourselves. Do not fool yourself into thinking that “their behavior will change” you get the fuck out and keep yourself safe. That being said this is fiction and we’re gonna fuck around a little.

Also warning because Aquaria does throw stuff at Brianna and says some pretty awful stuff towards her but Brianna also says some pretty awful shit. And I’m sorry anon cause this not only ended nothing like what you wanted but it ended pretty badly.

It’s been a pretty long point of tension in their relationship actually. Aquaria is always desperately trying to prove to Brianna that she’s not a kid, she’s an adult and she deserves to be treated as such. Brianna knows this but she’s the type of person who micromanages everything, which works out fine in context of her company and her own life, but not in the context of the life of her partner. It was something that made her and Bob’s relationship break down and it’s always a point of argument between her and Aquaria. Aquaria feels like Brianna looks down on her and thinks of her as a kid who can’t handle herself, Brianna thinks Aquaria is too naive and optimistic and need a reality check.

Monet has warned Brianna about this too. “Aquaria is younger than you by a lot but Brianna you have to remember that she’s not some kid. She’s 22, she has her own career, she was doing fine before she met you.” Brianna is like yeah I know. I know it pisses Aquaria off too when I treat her like she’s just some kid who doesn’t know what she’s doing. There are definitely times where Brianna can feel the age gap. Aquaria gets excited over stuff that Brianna normally wouldn’t, she’s a lot more animated, nothing makes Brianna feel older quite like when Aquaria sends her memes and Brianna doesn’t understand them.

There’s also times where they can feel the age gap but in a different way. Aquaria can be petty, almost childish at times. Brianna will dismiss Aquaria’s anger as temper tantrums if she doesn’t agree with Aquaria. That’s kind of how it all starts. It’s just something simple, Aquaria is frustrated and Brianna is exhausted, she’s been running around the whole week and she’s not in the mood for whatever Aquaria wants to fight about.

Brianna sighing “I’m not in the mood for this Aquaria.” and Aquaria like “No, I don’t care. We need to have this conversation. You’ve been running away from it all week.” Brianna frowning “I haven’t been running away from anything. I’m actually busy Aquaria. I have a job to do.”

Aquaria’s face changes from frustration to anger. “You’re still running away. I know you Brianna, you’re packing your schedule just so you don’t have to talk to me. And what the hell do you mean by ‘actually busy’? I’m busy too, I have a job as well.”  Brianna staring at Aquaria unimpressed. “Oh yes, your job as what? A design assistant? I’m sure it must be so hard.” Aquaria looks furious and Brianna knows she’s probably gone too far but if there’s anything her years of crawling through shit to bring her company up has taught her it is to never give up first. Unfortunately that doesn’t apply to insulting the integrity of your girlfriend’s career but dammit if Brianna isn’t going to try and think herself out of this situation.

“Yes it is hard. It’s fucking hard Brianna. I don’t know if you noticed but I get home later than you do, I work on the weekends, I haul ass to make it in this industry. But you wouldn’t notice because you’re always in Dubai or Milan or some other fancy fucking city sitting on your ass drinking whatever fancy piss you and your friends drink.” Brianna slamming her laptop shut “You don’t know the work I do. What, are you really so naive that you think all these meetings are just for fun? Every time it’s some new bullshit, some over confident asshole trying to ruin me and this company.” Aquaria has her fists balled up, she’s fuming. “I’m not naive. I know that you work hard. But I work just as hard.”

There’s a tiny part of Brianna’s brain screaming at her to stop while she’s still ahead but clearly she’s determined to make this situation even worse than it already is. “Oh please! You barely do anything! What is your job description anyway? You just point at clothes like ‘oh that looks pretty’ and make someone wear it? Anyone could do that Aquaria!” Aquaria looks so hurt for a second, she legitimately looks like she’s going to cry and Brianna is about to apologize when Aquaria hisses “How fucking dare you. Who the hell do you think you are Brianna?” Brianna is immediately on the offensive again. “That is not what my job is, my job is not that fucking easy! I worked my fucking ass off to get this position and I’m still working my ass off! How the hell do you think you are that you’re going to stand there and shit on what I do like you have any clue how hard my job is?”

Brianna rolling her eyes “I know what you do. It’s nothing close to what I do. I have a real job Aquaria. It’s not whatever kiddie shit you’re doing.” Brianna doesn’t even notice Aquaria picking up the glass cause she does it so fast. All Brianna hears is the noise when it shatters on the wall behind her. “Fuck you Brianna!” Aquaria is screaming at this point. “Real job? I am underpaid, overworked, and fighting to get to the top every step of the way! I sleep four fucking hours a day, my fingers are always bleeding cause of pins, and then I have to deal with the bullshit bureaucracy of fashion! ” Brianna is leveled voice. “Calm down Aquaria. You’re acting like a kid.” Aquaria is fuming “No, you don’t get to tell me to calm down! Not when you just spent the past 10 minutes insulting what I do, who I am and how hard I’ve worked to get here!”  

Brianna sneering. “No you need to calm down. You’re always going on and on about how you’re an adult, how you have your own career, this and that. You need a reality check Aquaria. You’re a fucking kid, you’re naive, you’re childish, and you have no idea how the world really works. Every time I go to work I’m going up against world leaders, CEOs, military men. It’s real. My actions have consequences. You’ve clearly never learned that.”

Aquaria is crying at this point and Brianna scoffing. “See, now you’re crying. You’re proving my point Aquaria. You’re throwing things around. I’m not putting up with your tantrums. I’m not your mother Aquaria. Just because you call me Mommy doesn’t mean I’m going to baby you.” Brianna ducks as Aquaria throws a vase at her. She’s shrieking at this point. “Fuck you! Fuck you don’t bring any of that shit into this! That is not what this is about, just because I call you that doesn’t mean I expect anything from you! I’m throwing shit because I’m fucking pissed off! You can’t treat me like I’m nothing and expect me to just take it!”

Brianna looks bored. “Maybe I expect you to be an adult.” Aquaria shaking her head. “No that is not what this is! You sit there, in your bubble, thinking you’re better than everyone around you! Everyone is below you in one way or another! You treat people like shit and then call them immature when they won’t put up with it!” Aquaria’s voice is raw, she’s rubbing tears away from her cheeks. “I’m not crying because I’m sad, I’m crying because I’m pissed off! You’re a fucking sociopath Brianna! It’s the reason Bob left you and it’s the reason I’m leaving you too!” Brianna rolling her eyes. “Oh sure you are. I’m excited to see you come crawling back.” Aquaria’s chest heaving. “Well you’ll be waiting a long fucking time.” Storming off into their bedroom and Brianna following after her, watching Aquaria shove stuff into her suitcase and backpack. “Are you done with your tantrum yet?” Aquaria ignoring her. “Aquaria?” Aquaria shoving past her. “Piss off.”

Brianna watching Aquaria gather her stuff, and it’s only thing Aquaria bought for herself. “How long are you going to continue this?” Aquaria grabbing her bags. “I don’t know. Let’s find out.” Throwing her set of keys at Brianna’s face, Brianna catching them. “Ruin my life if you want. I don’t care anymore. You know who you are Brianna. You’re going to die alone and unloved and I won’t be sorry.” Brianna can hear the little rational part of her mind screaming at her to take this seriously but she just ignores it. 

Aquaria dumping her bags outside Brianna’s door. Looking at Brianna, her eyes are red, cheeks stained with tears, voice hoarse from screaming. She looks like hell and sounds completely sincere when she says “I hate you. I hope you know that.” The door closes behind Aquaria and Brianna is left alone in her fancy penthouse apartment, broken glass on the floor and it’s an eerily similar to when Bob left her. Brianna sweeps up the glass, rearranges the closet because Aquaria tossed half the stuff on the floor when she packed but still leaves space for Aquaria’s stuff. She goes to bed telling herself that Aquaria will be back in the morning and she’s realize she was being childish. Aquaria doesn’t come back.

[timehousestore]

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[damilano]

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[cruellatmon-blog]

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[tina-incambodia]

Service Interrupted.

I have so much to say but I'm not sure I could put it into words that would successfully complete the journey from my mushy brain to my shaky finger tips. I wasn't planning on ever having a "Part 2." I planned on an 11 day vacation in the 9th month of my service. Instead, I left my home for about 8 weeks. Home? What's home?

“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

― Miriam Adeney

June 14, 2018

I'm sitting in the airport. The same one I sat in almost one year ago to leave the first time, but it couldn’t feel more different now. I have people, whole families that love me on both sides of the planet. I have two bedrooms, thousands of miles apart. I am welcomed at countless dinner tables and patio chairs, yet I couldn’t feel more lost or, most of all, homeless. So I'm back on a plane to search for a feeling and chase a dream. It is a wonderful yet painful experience to have a heart so full yet stretched so, so thin, 8,671 miles to be exact. 

So, 8 weeks is a long time to be home… or be away from home…? It’s a long time to be so unsure of and have no control over what comes next. Limbo, as I like to refer to it. With Peace Corps as the facilitator, I've spent many, many months of the past few years in limbo. And the answer to most questions during those times is, "I don't know." Not "I don't know," because I don’t want to tell you, but because I truly don’t know. I don’t know when I'm leaving. I don’t know if I'm staying. I don’t know what I'm hoping for either. That is one real thing I've learned. When Peace Corps used the word, "flexible," years ago, I can say now that I had absolutely no knowledge of what that word actually means. To be flexible with coming or going, and staying or leaving, in regards to home…. And to know and understand that hoping worrying for either end is, to be frank, useless. To reach a place in your mind where either and any option will be okay for you. On small scales this is simpler; having flexible eating habits, for example comes more easily. Sure, I won't be happy about eating my 536th bowl of rice this year but hey, I'm flexible. This is the definition of flexibility I expected when I signed my name in the little box 2 years ago. 

The universe throws you for loops, and through hoops, under falling rocks, and over oceans. "It doesn’t get any easier along the way, it just gets different." I had been looking forward to my  April vacation to the US for about 8 months. At the beginning of September, not even 2 months into my service, my nephew Camden Jorge was born and it broke my heart to miss out. I was determined to visit home the first chance I had so I could meet this gentle bundle of joy before he took his first steps. And my niece too; we had countdowns and plans far in advance to bake a cake and have a sleepover. I had 11 days home and every moment was precious. That was the plan. 11 days, 1 family party, 1 sleepover, a trip to Boston, and a lot of pizza and buffalo chicken. I had been dreaming about the damn buffalo chicken… I got to have it many, many more times than I had expected, because instead of a short 11 days, I was home for 8 weeks: 2 weeks of vacation and 6 weeks of medical evacuation…. 

August 17, 2018 

To cut to the point: I was knocked to the ground and stepped on by an elephant. Yup, you read correctly, an elephant. I was traveling alone to a sanctuary and reservation in Modulkiri, a province in northeast Cambodia, for what I hoped would be a peaceful and adventurous retreat before I went back to the states. There were 9, lucky for me, very kind helpful people on our tour and we had just taken a crazy ride in the back of a pick-up into the jungle and met the first two elephants of the five we would see that day. My fear and apprehension in the face of the gentle beasts had worn off in time to meet Lucky, a 72 year old female who likes to live alone across the river from the others. I was the last one to join the tour group when we found her thanks to a young woman dressed more for a picturesque summer pool party than a trek in the Cambodian jungle. Needless to say, she had a little trouble keeping up in her Forever 21 flip-flops and I was stuck behind her for the walk. By the time I arrived, Mr. Tree, the guide and owner of the sanctuary, had already finished his introduction to Lucky, which apparently was very important to hear as this elephant is especially particular about how she is fed. I asked a young French woman who I had spoken with earlier to take a few pictures as I fed Lucky.

We were in a tight space surrounded by tall grass; the 9 of us just fitting into the nooks and crannies of the paths created by the elephants and their trainers. I stood about a foot from Lucky as I fed her and touched her truck. In the next moment, she turned towards me and rammed the strongest part of her against my chest and neck. My head whipped backwards and I fell to the ground away from her but my lower extremities were still in her reach. The knock to the ground scared me but didn’t hurt just yet. It was the excruciating pain I immediately felt in my right foot. As I shot up, pushing the branches of the bush I fell into out of my way, my thoughts were racing and I expected a bag of bones for a foot. Luckily, (no pun intended) my foot was still in the shape of a foot. From what I could see, my first and fourth toenails had bent all the way back, and my third toe was unmistakably dislocated. I have never had any broken bones before but some sort of instinct kicked in and I fixed what I could; maybe thinking it would help the pain subside. I pushed my toenails back down and popped my dislocated toe back into place. I cringe thinking about it now, even after telling the story hundreds of times. Mr. Tree sat down in front of me and asked if I was okay. "This has happened to four girls before you," he said. Searching for some comic relief, I responded, "Oh, you don’t put that on your website do you?" He didn’t think the comment was so funny. I could tell from his wide-eyed worried face, probably thinking what would happen if I was the next review on TripAdvisor. I winced as he tried to pull all my toes into the right place, just like you do when you might be trying to crack your knuckles. I had to get up and out of the bush and get to some place of comfort. An older Canadian man traveling with his wife helped me to a small clearing. I grabbed my makeshift med kit, which I would later learn, didn’t contain even half of what I needed to care for an actual injury, from my backpack and popped three Peace Corps issued Ibuprofens.  My fellow tourists gave me clean wipes, elevated my foot with their backpacks, and sat by me while I processed the trauma. The Canadian woman sat by me and rubbed my shoulders, breathed with me, and talked me through my fits of sobbing, laughing, and complete and utter disbelief. "What the actual fuck?!" I kept repeating. “How could this happen? How did I just get attacked by an elephant?” I didn’t know it then but, for the next two months family, friends, and strangers would try to answer these hypothetical questions with such wise words, “Well, at least it’s a good story.” I can’t count how many times I’ve heard that one. I sat on a log and waited for a truck from in town to deliver the stretcher I would involuntarily be carried out of the jungle on. Usually, when I'm hurt, I try to act tough, I don’t ask for help, I hold back the tears and carry on. This time, I wanted to do all those things but absolutely could not. I tried to walk and crumbled in the pain and as we sat and waited the adrenaline and shock wore off and the pain only got worse. So, four Khmer men lifted me up and I was dubbed, "Queen of the Jungle."

We returned to the lodge perched above the jungle and the girl I had asked to take my picture helped tape my toes and as the rest of the tourists continued on with the planned excursions for the day, I sat looking out at the Cambodian canopy skyline all afternoon ruminating over my recent trauma and convincing myself the injury wasn't that bad. At least I had a great view. They don’t do anything for broken toes anyway, right? (wrong) In addition to a hammock for the night, the tour provides a traditional Khmer dinner and rice wine too. I didn’t want to miss out on any of it. I waited till the next morning, said good bye to my helpful, kind fellow adventurers, climbed up a big hill to reach the tuk-tuk and returned to the lodge in town. Cutting my peaceful adventure a few days short, I called PC explained the story and was delivered to the hospital in Phnom Penh, a 6 hour long car ride. 

The doctors in Phnom Penh showed me my X-rays and the breaks, gave me a huge ugly boot, and 3 prescriptions. I couldn’t process how real my injury was, even if it was just broken toes. I would be spending my much treasured time at home in a big boot and on anti-biotics. I was devastated and, aside from the amazing PC Medical Officer, alone in Phnom Penh. I didn’t even tell my family at home. I didn’t want them to worry about me traveling home. And I mostly didn’t want to have to tell my story again and again before I had even processed it myself. I spent the next 3 days in a hotel room ordering delivery, binging netflix, soaking my swollen purple foot in ice cold water, and crying. It sounds dramatic, I know. It could have been much worse, I know. 

I tried to mentally prepare myself for the next 25 hours of traveling, which is something I would, in a normal state, enjoy. Traveling alone gives me a sense of independence and maturity. I like to explore airports, drink bloody marys at whatever time I damn well please, and if I'm in the right mood, talk to some strangers. I had even considered leaving the airport during my layover in Dubai. But this time, I was dreading it; dressed like a bum with swollen, "I've been crying for days," eyes, lugging around bags much too heavy for broken toes, and stuck in a bulky plastic boot. I didn't want a bloody mary, I wanted a hug and my bed. I had to ask for bulkhead seating so I could elevate my foot during the flight and get up and walk often to avoid blood clots. I didn’t think about how hard this might be on a full 16 hour flight from Dubai to Boston sitting in a window seat next to a very nice, but very sleepy, couple. 

So, I went home for vacation, arrived at the airport with a great story for the family and then did all the things as planned. I finally met my nephew, I had a sleepover with my niece, ate food I had been craving with the people I missed, and on the 8th day home had one little party so I could see my whole family before heading back. I saw a podiatrist the day after to make sure everything was healing correctly. It was healing... but nowhere close to where it needed to be for my main form of transportation to be a bicycle. The doctor said, "Your big toe is in 5 pieces...there is no way you are going back in 3 days. I'll see you in 3 weeks.” My jaw dropped, I hadn't expected this at all. When I was in Cambodia PC had already seen the x-rays and ruled I'd be just fine to come back. Turns out the expert podiatrist thought differently. I called PC. I’d be home for 6 more weeks.

An extended vacation, you say? Oh! How wonderful! More time to spend with family and friends, more buffalo chicken and quality beer, maybe even a beach day? Great point. The thing is, my partner planned to leave for Cambodia the following week. In the most romantic and wild gesture, he quit his jobs, tied up loose ends and we planned spend the next 3 months in the same country  figuring out if we could make it work after spending the last year on opposite sides of the world trying to move on and failing at it quite miserably. It was a crazy thing to even think about. I had left for Cambodia almost a year ago and now he would be coming too; for us. We had been planning this for months now and we were so close, but the universe doesn’t care about your plans! So now, with flights booked already, he would leave for Cambodia and I'd be home. And we would be on opposite sides of the world, yet again all because of this elephant ironically named, Lucky. If I believed in signs like I say I do… I think this was one for the books. The universe with all its magic and power was pulling us apart once again. Writing this now, 4 months later, I still can't believe it all happened. I'm not sure Hollywood or even the infamous Lifetime could write this story. 

Before I was assigned medical evacuation status, I thought of it quite romantically; that'd be nice… six weeks home. I could use an extended vacation from bucket showers and rice. And it was nice. It was great to have so much extra, unexpected time with family and friends. I was home for mother’s day and my brother’s college graduation (peek my big ugly boot in the pic).  I even fit in a beach day. But I really didn’t expect all the mental and emotional challenges that come along with living in such a state of limbo for 6 weeks, in which I had no control of the outcome. Did I want to return to PC? Yes. Was I completely sure of that answer? No. But was I ready to quit? Hell no. Was it even in my hands? Nope. If I wasn’t healed in 6 weeks, I would be "medically separated," essentially ending my service unless I wanted to apply to return at a later date. If my foot didn’t heal correctly, I would need surgery, which would most definitely exceed my six week limit. The podiatrist explained where he would stick the three metal pins in my big toe if the 5 puzzle pieces weren't agreeing with each other.  I can’t count how many times or how many people, relatives, friends, old bar customers, and strangers, I told my story to. But I can say that my answer to their follow up questions was usually, "I don’t know." I had no clue when I was going back. I had no clue even if I was going back. And while I tried to swim in this state of uncertain limbo, I felt that I really didn’t have a place at "home" anymore. My friends were busy with jobs, boyfriends, and moving on with new cars and apartments. And although time with my family was great, many times my mind reminded me that this is what I was missing out on as I struggled to teach English and drink a gallon of water a day to make up for all the sweating on the other side of the world.  It had been years since I first decided I wanted to join PC, and I was facing the decision again, and it was harder than ever before.  I didn’t expect anyone's life to stop while I went on my big adventure, but I also didn’t expect to feel so lost and out of place when I returned. I loved eating chips and salsa on my couch alone, it was something I had been looking forward to, but I never expected to feel so lonely doing it. Yoga had become my saving grace throughout the past year of ups and downs and with 3 broken toes I couldn't even do that. And other activities I would have found peace in, hiking mountains, dancing, walking through parks, were all impossible for me. I felt the universe was giving me a big middle finger. Self-pity, I know, but that’s how I felt. I had waited almost a year to spend time with my partner again and he was traveling Thailand and Myanmar while I sunk into the couch. For a few weeks I really had no idea how to deal with all of these emotions. They say you are never alone but had this ever happened to anyone else in the history of the world? This crazy, unbelievable story of mine truly started to weigh me down. And having to tell it over and over again only to get the same advice or laughs or looks from each and every person was draining. All of my plans were crumbling in front of me and I had no control over what would happen next.

A long six weeks and several doctor appointments and x-rays later, I received medical clearance just in time. Leaving the second time was much harder than the first. The excitement of the unknown was lost and I knew I was going back to a challenge, one that I wasn’t even sure I wanted to take on again. After three long flights and two treacherous and stressful layovers, one of which if I hadn't been flying the same airline, I would have missed my next flight, I arrived in Phnom Penh close to midnight on June 17th. Two of my closest friends here surprised me at the hotel with a bouquet of freshly picked flowers and a few beers. We stayed up late catching up on the balcony overlooking the city. And just like that, I was back. It is months later now and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Just last week someone said, "So happy you came back." I had heard that so many times since I returned. This time, I finally replied, "Me too," without the guilt of lying. I am happy I came back. It was a strange transition. It still is. I returned towards the end of the school year with energy and motivation dying down on the parts of both students and teachers. I hadn’t spoken any Khmer in 8 weeks. I felt, and still feel, such a loss of fluency, and more emotionally, a loss of belonging. I went home to America and didn’t belong there. I came back to Cambodia and didn’t belong here either. It was a tough and painful and at times still is, but all in all, home is where you make it; it just takes a lot of effort and time.

My partner was here for my first five weeks back; we spent our weekends together as planned, finally on the same side of the planet and in the same country. It was wonderful. We visited some of the most beautiful spots in Cambodia. My family here, in addition to welcoming me back after 8 weeks, also made him feel at home as well. It was heartwarming to witness my two worlds meeting. He left at the beginning of August. School vacation began at the same time and now I'm left with a crazy amount of free time which I'm hoping to fill with productive and fulfilling activities. I’ve been getting back into yoga, reading some good books, and prepping some eager 12th graders for their exam. All in all, I guess I’m pretty lucky to be here considering I was attacked by a 6,000 pound beast. So begins part 2 of my service. I am left with the task of jumpstarting my heart and mind to be fully here; committed and happy. 

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