#Medical director California

[accessiblehealthcaresolutions]

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[reasonsforhope]

"In a historic move Friday [November 8, 2024], Sacramento State announced its new Native American College, a first of its kind in the California State university system. 

The college, a co-curricular institution housed at Sacramento State, will support Native-based education with a focus on leadership and career building. It will offer a diverse range of programs that integrate "tribal values, traditions and community engagement," according to a press release. 

This marks Sacramento State's second ethnic-based institution. The university launched the the nation's first Black Honors college earlier this year. 

The announcement was made at the California State Capitol by President Luke Wood and Dr. Annette Reed, an enrolled member and citizen of the Tolowa Dee-ni' Nation, who will be the first dean of the Native American College. 

Reed said students will have access to faculty mentors, advisors, outreach coordinators and more who have the expertise to work closely with Native American students and can support them holistically. 

She hopes this historic initiative will address low enrollment of Native students pursuing higher education across the state and in the country. Native American students face significant barriers to enrolling in higher education, such as financial constraints, feelings of isolation, historical trauma and lack of culturally relevant curriculum. 

"And so I'm hoping this impacts the students where they go through as a cohort. They can create networks, they can be able to have more of a support system going through and beginning together and hopefully graduating at the end together," Reed said.

Reed recalled taking her first class on Native American studies in 1980. She would later on serve as the director of Native American studies at Sacramento State and chair of the Department of Ethnic Studies. For her, advocating for Native American education was a natural top priority. 

"People always ask me, 'What is Native American studies?' It is history. It is looking at culture. It's looking at teaching sovereignty, federal Indian law. It's teaching social work, art. It's teaching about Native cultural expression, it can be literature," Reed said. 

The Native American College will introduce two new courses, according to Reed, which will be focused on Native American leadership. 

"It means that maybe some of the ones that start in Fall 2025 will end up here at the Capitol. Maybe they'll end up being the future senators or assembly people or the future of people in business. They might be leading our nation as tribal chairs, they might be going into the medical field," Reed said. "But whatever field they go into, leadership is really key." 

Students who want to be in the Native American College can apply after being accepted into the university's general application process. All students will be required to minor in Native American Studies, with an emphasis on Native American leadership."

-via ABC 10, November 8, 2024

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from Mother Jones:

When a man with painful cystic acne came to dermatologist Eva Rawlings Parker for help in a Nashville clinic, she couldn’t prescribe him doxycycline or minocycline, two medications she’d typically use to treat this condition. This is because the man was a roofer, says Parker, and these medications would have impacted his ability to tolerate heat. 

Parker’s patient was far from alone. Other common medications for physical health, like beta blockers, can impact people’s ability to handle heat. Many medications for mental health do, too.

Conventional wisdom tells people with conditions that make them unusually vulnerable to the sun, like the autoimmune disorder lupus, or are on medications that lead to heat sensitivity, to avoid staying outside when the sun is at its strongest.

But for the one-third of US workers who must spend regular time outdoors, that advice bursts into flames. For some, such as farmworkers, hours and hours of heat exposure, with minimal or no reprieve, are just part of the job. Increasing heat waves and more frequent wildfires point to the need to find real solutions for outdoor workers—and highlight how labor and climate change are intertwined. 

Edward Flores, faculty director of the Community and Labor Center at the University of California, Merced, specializes in the conditions of low-wage and immigrant workers in California. He says the need for heat safety policy reform is acute. “We know that workers have been dying,” Flores says, “because of chronic conditions that accumulate through heat stress over many years and decades that lead to shorter life spans.”

Parker, the dermatologist, is acutely aware of how heat can trigger or worsen skin problems. She is co-chair of the American Academy of Dermatology’s group on climate change and environmental issues, and was an author of a 2023 review on the ways climate change can contribute to dermatological issues, including triggering flares of conditions like hidradenitis suppurativa—which causes painful lumps deep in a person’s skin—and skin cancer.

Workers do have some legal rights to breaks and water, depending on the locale. California, Oregon, and Washington are the only states that mandate those breaks. And roughly half of crop farmworkers have no legal work authorization. That lack of legal status, and the threat of deportation, gives many workers reason to fear complaining about working conditions.

In July, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration proposed a new set of rules which would help protect more than 36 million workers from heat-related illness or death. The proposed OSHA rules would require employers to monitor their workers for heat exhaustion symptoms, provide adequate water and shade, designate break areas, and provide mandatory rest breaks, among other things. 

[tieflingkisser]

Wind-blown avian feces may be route of transmission for bird flu, Minnesota's infectious disease expert warns

Dr. Michael Osterholm is a medical detective and Director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy, or CIDRAP, at the University of Minnesota. Osterholm has nearly 50 years of investigating infectious disease outbreaks and public health threats.  Osterholm hosts a podcast at the University of Minnesota called "Osterholm Update," where he discusses latest disease and outbreak news headlines.  On episode 175 titled, "Drinking From a Fire Hose: Are We Drowning?," Osterholm and his co-host, Chris Dall, discuss growing concerns regarding bird flu — or H5N1 — making the jump from animals to humans.  According to Osterholm, there has been an additional 89 confirmed flocks with high path avian influenza within the last 30 days alone. Areas affected include Georgia, Indiana, Ohio, California, New York, Minnesota and Maryland. Osterholm says that the primary kind of birds impacted by the flu is migratory waterfowl, like geese and ducks, and these birds often hang out in farm fields where they defecate. Then, the wind picks up particles of the infected feces, spreading the virus far and wide. 

[...]

"Today, I am certain that we are seeing clouds of dust with bird feces in that, and we are beginning to see what I would consider to be almost an environmental type disease, similar to the transmission that we see with Coccidioidomycosis, what we call Valley fever, where in fact that's a fungus that grows in the environment. And then on windy days it blows with the dust and you inhale it. I think we're going to see the same thing with H5N1. That's why so many of these barns are now positive," said Osterholm on his podcast.  Now that the virus has gone airborne, Osterholm believes we're going to start seeing more and more cases in humans with no explanation for why they occurred. Meaning, people are going to get sick without even coming in contact with the infected animal. 

[mariacallous]

Oregon governor Tina Kotek yesterday signed the state's Right to Repair Act, which will push manufacturers to provide more repair options for their products than any other state so far.

The law, like those passed in New York, California, and Minnesota, will require many manufacturers to provide the same parts, tools, and documentation to individuals and repair shops that they provide to their own repair teams.

But Oregon's bill goes further, preventing companies from implementing schemes that require parts to be verified through encrypted software checks before they will function, known as parts pairing or serialization. Oregon’s bill, SB 1596, is the first in the nation to target that practice. Oregon state senator Janeen Sollman and representative Courtney Neron, both Democrats, sponsored and pushed the bill in the state senate and legislature.

“By eliminating manufacturer restrictions, the Right to Repair will make it easier for Oregonians to keep their personal electronics running,” said Charlie Fisher, director of Oregon's chapter of the Public Interest Research Group, in a statement. “That will conserve precious natural resources and prevent waste. It’s a refreshing alternative to a ‘throwaway’ system that treats everything as disposable.”

Oregon's law isn't stronger in every regard. For one, there is no set number of years for a manufacturer to support a device with repair support. Parts pairing is prohibited only on devices sold in 2025 and later. And there are carve-outs for certain kinds of electronics and devices, including video game consoles, medical devices, HVAC systems, motor vehicles, and—as with other states—“electric toothbrushes.”

Apple opposed the Oregon repair bill for its parts-pairing ban. John Perry, a senior manager for secure design at Apple, testified at a February hearing in Oregon that the pairing restriction would “undermine the security, safety, and privacy of Oregonians by forcing device manufacturers to allow the use of parts of unknown origin in consumer devices.”

Apple surprised many observers with its support for California's repair bill in 2023, though it did so after pressing for repair providers to mention when they use “non-genuine or used” components and to bar repair providers from disabling security features.

According to Consumer Reports, which lobbied and testified in support of Oregon's bill, the repair laws passed in four states now cover nearly 70 million people.

[beardedmrbean]

The U.S. Marshals Service (USMS) found 200 missing children during the course of a six-week national sting that ended last week.

The second of its kind, "Operation We Will Find You 2," was conducted in seven federal judicial districts and geographic locations across the U.S. from May 20 to June 24, focusing on areas with an increased number of critically missing children.

In a press release, the USMS said the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (USMEC) assisted in the operation, which led to the recovery and removal of 123 children from dangerous situations, as well as another 77 missing children who were located and found in safe locations.

Out of the 200 children, 173 were endangered runaways, 25 were considered missing, a family member abducted one, and one was a non-family abduction.

Additionally, 14 of the recovered children were located outside the city where they were reported missing, and the youngest was 5 months old.

About 57% of the missing children were recovered within seven days of the USMS helping out with the cases.

"There are no words to describe the terror felt by missing children, their families, and their communities," Attorney General Merrick B. Garland said. "I am grateful to the dedicated professionals of the U.S. Marshals Service and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children who worked to find 200 critically missing children during this six-week operation, and who work every day to keep children safe."

The operation was executed in several locations, including Arizona, California, Florida, Michigan, North Carolina, Oregon and New York City.

U.S. Marshals worked with federal, state and local law enforcement, NCMEC, the Department of Children and Family Services and other agencies to locate the missing children.

Many of the children were considered to be in challenging recovery cases, including child sex trafficking, child exploitation, sexual abuse, physical abuse and suffering from medical or mental health conditions.

For instance, on June 13, USMS recovered a 16-year-old girl who was reported missing from her home in Edwardsburg, Michigan, by her legal guardian on Jan. 11, 2024.

An investigation determined the child was likely being controlled and abused by an adult man, who reportedly shared photos of cash and firearms on his social media page. In one photo, USMS said, an adult man was pointing a handgun with an extended magazine at the missing child.

During the rescue, USMS went to arrest the man at an apartment in Hammond, Indiana, when he jumped out of a window and attempted to flee. He was ultimately apprehended and arrested. The child was located inside the apartment before being released to child protective services.

In another instance, a 15-year-old girl was reported missing by her guardian on May 13. An investigation discovered the child had become a victim of human trafficking in the Miami-Dade, Florida area.

On June 7, USMS and members of the Miami Police Department located the girl in an apartment complex. She was recovered and interviewed by the Florida State Attorney’s Office Human Trafficking team before being returned to the Department of Child and Family Services.

"One of the most sacred missions of U.S. Marshals Service, is locating and recovering our nation’s critically missing children," USMS Director Ronald L. Davis said. "This is one of our top priorities as there remain thousands of children still missing and at risk."

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

Published March 2023. Still relevant.

What The magnitude and quality of a key immune cell’s response to vaccination with two doses of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine were considerably lower in people with prior SARS-CoV-2 infection compared to people without prior infection, a study has found. In addition, the level of this key immune cell that targets the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein was substantially lower in unvaccinated people with COVID-19 than in vaccinated people who had never been infected. Importantly, people who recover from SARS-CoV-2 infection and then get vaccinated are more protected than people who are unvaccinated. These findings, which suggest that the virus damages an important immune-cell response, were published today in the journal Immunity.

The study was co-funded by the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), part of the National Institutes of Health, and led by Mark M. Davis, Ph.D. Dr. Davis is the director of the Stanford Institute for Immunity, Transplantation and Infection and a professor of microbiology and immunology at Stanford University School of Medicine in Palo Alto, California. He is also a Howard Hughes Medical Institute Investigator.

Dr. Davis and colleagues designed a very sensitive tool to analyze how immune cells called CD4+ T cells and CD8+ T cells respond to SARS-CoV-2 infection and vaccination. These cells coordinate the immune system’s response to the virus and kill other cells that have been infected, helping prevent COVID-19. The tool was designed to identify T cells that target any of dozens of specific regions on the virus’s spike protein as well as some other viral regions. The Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine uses parts of the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein to elicit an immune response without causing infection.

The investigators studied CD4+ and CD8+ T-cell responses in blood samples from three groups of volunteers. One group had never been infected with SARS-CoV-2 and received two doses of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine. The second group had previously been infected with SARS-CoV-2 and received two doses of the vaccine. The third group had COVID-19 and was unvaccinated.

The researchers found that vaccination of people who had never been infected with SARS-CoV-2 induced robust CD4+ and CD8+ T-cell responses to the virus’ spike protein. In addition, these T cells produced multiple types of cell-signaling molecules called cytokines, which recruit other immune cells—including antibody-producing B cells—to fight pathogens. However, people who had been infected with SARS-CoV-2 prior to vaccination produced spike-specific CD8+ T cells at considerably lower levels—and with less functionality—than vaccinated people who had never been infected. Moreover, the researchers observed substantially lower levels of spike-specific CD8+ T cells in unvaccinated people with COVID-19 than in vaccinated people who had never been infected.

Taken together, the investigators write, these findings suggest that SARS-CoV-2 infection damages the CD8+ T cell response, an effect akin to that observed in earlier studies showing long-term damage to the immune system after infection with viruses such as hepatitis C or HIV. The new findings highlight the need to develop vaccination strategies to specifically boost antiviral CD8+ T cell responses in people previously infected with SARS-CoV-2, the researchers conclude.

Article F Gao, et al. Robust T cell responses to the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine compared to infection and evidence of attenuated CD8+ T cell responses due to COVID-19. Immunity DOI: 10.1016/j.immuni.2023.03.005(link is external). (2023). www.cell.com/immunity/fulltext/S1074-7613(23)00125-5

[leveloneandup]

Christen Press, a two-time World Cup champion and the first player the team signed, said the facility will help make Angel City a destination.

“For the last three years, when we go as a club and talk to top players in the world, we didn’t have this facility to offer,” she said. “It’s a huge part of our day-to-day experience as an athlete and it matters.”

Angel City unveils new facility in effort ‘to build a winning culture’

When Willow Bay and her husband, Disney CEO Bob Iger, became controlling owners of Angel City last July, they inherited a women’s soccer team that had lost more games than it had won, had fewer playoff appearances than it had suspensions from the league and would end the year by parting ways with its second general manager and second head coach in three seasons.

So on Tuesday, when Bay cut the ribbon on the team’s massive new performance center at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks, it was with the hope that would mark the start of Angel City’s turnaround as well.

“This is the vision of this team that we’re helping support and execute,” said Bay, dean of the USC Annenberg School of Communication and Journalism, who joined her husband in investing $50 million in cash for the team to expand its budget and ease its losses. “It was very clear that we needed to invest in football operations here and support the leadership and support the players and making sure they had all the resources they needed to build a winning culture.”

The opening of the performance center comes six days after Angel City announced the hiring of Mark Parsons, one of the most successful coaches in NWSL history, as its sporting director. Parsons said the new training facility will be a big help in recruiting women to come play for his new team.

“If I can get them here and get them to walk around, then it’s going to be very hard for people not wanting to be in this environment,” he said. “When I think of Angel City and why I want to be here, what has started with an ownership group and investors to build a brand that is world-leading, how female athletes should be supported, knowing the ambition now and putting in a performance center that no other women’s sports team has in the world, you’ve kind of touched everything.”

The performance center is part of a 9-acre training base Angel City inherited from the Rams when the NFL team moved to Woodland Hills in August. It is the largest and most modern in the NWSL history, boasting a 5,400-square-foot gym, three locker rooms, a film room, a medical treatment and hydrotherapy area, and a children’s playroom, among other things. There is one full soccer pitch and an adjoining half field.

It’s a big step up from the last three seasons when Angel City worked out of a pair of temporary trailers in a far corner of the CLU campus and used a weight room that wasn’t actually a room, but a huge tent. Angel City would not say exactly how much it spent on refurbishing the facility but said it was a “multimillion-dollar custom rebuild.”

The move into the new facility comes at a time when the league is adjusting to radical new rules that have altered the building of rosters. Last September the NWSL became the first major professional league in the U.S. to ditch the draft, which bound players to the team that selected them. The new collective-bargaining agreement between the league and the players’ association also allows for out-of-contract players to negotiate with every team in the league and gives players the right to block trades to teams they don’t want to play for.

As a result, signing players now means recruiting them first.

“My job has just got much, much more easy with this facility,” Parsons said. “A few more clubs over the last few years have been investing. [But] this is unlike nowhere else. I’m excited to be a part of an organization that cares that much.

“But I’m also excited that my skill set just got a bit easier, because everyone’s going to want to be here.”

Christen Press, a two-time World Cup champion and the first player the team signed, said the facility will help make Angel City a destination.

“For the last three years, when we go as a club and talk to top players in the world, we didn’t have this facility to offer,” she said. “It’s a huge part of our day-to-day experience as an athlete and it matters.”

Whether it will be enough to turn around a team that lost a franchise-record 13 games last season, finishing 12th in the 14-team NWSL, remains to be seen. In the last month Matt Wade, the assistant general manager, and technical director Mark Wilson agreed to a one-year contract extension along with Press, added French forward Julie Dufour and Australian defender Alanna Kennedy, and signed Mississippi State midfielder Macey Hodge.

Still, the team will begin preseason training Wednesday without a permanent replacement for coach Becki Tweed and with Parsons just a week into his job replacing general manager Angela Mangano Hucles.

Parsons said the team has signed Sam Laity, who formerly worked in Seattle and Houston, to manage the club on an interim basis as he searches for a permanent coach.

“Getting the right person is the priority,” Parsons said. “If the right person is available sooner rather than later, fine. If we have to wait for that right person and they’re not available until the summer, then we’re open to that as well.”

For the time being, Bay is promising to be patient and supportive. The results, however, must follow eventually.

“Bob and I were very clear about investing the resources in this team and the people who lead and manage it. And most certainly the women who play for it,” she said.

But, she added, “we know how important it is to do our best to bring a championship to this city.”

[ismellpestilence]

Things to watch if your favorite show is being affected by the WGA strike

This is everything that I have watched and enjoyed. They are by no means perfect shows. This includes complete series, cancelled series, and series that are still in progress. Feel free to add your own recommendations.

Only Murders in the Building (Hulu; currently on season 3)

Murder mystery dramedy set in a wealthy NYC apartment complex

Staring Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomes as three residents who decide to make a podcast about the murder

The cast has great chemistry and the twists are compelling

Gravity Falls (Hulu/Disney; ended after 2 seasons in 2014)

An animated show about a pair of fraternal twins who spend the summer with their con-man great uncle in a weird, monster filled town

Absolutely iconic children's show.

Dead End: Paranormal Park (Netflix; cancelled after 2 seasons in 2023)

Animated YA show about two teens, an exiled demon, and a pug, that all work at a haunted theme park and are investigating the disappearances of some of the staff

Similar in style to Gravity Falls

Sadly cancelled by Netflix, but there's also the graphic novels to enjoy

Reservation Dogs (Hulu, ended after season 3 in 2023)

Coming of age dramedy about four Indigenous teens living on a reservation in Oklahoma as they mourn a friend who died and dream of running away to California together

Made by an all Indigenous writers, directors, and main cast

Scrubs (Hulu; ended after 8 seasons 2010)

Workplace comedy about staff at a California hospital

Praised as the one of most medically accurate medical show

Very much a 2000s comedy. Humor can be jarring/mean by today's standards

What We Do in the Shadows (Hulu, currently on season 5)

A mockumentary following 4 vampires and their familiar that live on Staten Island as they go about their boring, pathetic lives

Makes fun of the "cool, sexy, edgy" vampire trope

Based on a 2014 movie of the same name

Dead to Me (Netflix, ended after 3 seasons in 2022)

A traumedy (trauma comedy) following a woman who's husband was killed in a hit-and-run and the perpetrator who lost her own partner and secretly befriends her

It's funny about what happens but does deal with some heavy topics so definitely look into that before watching

The Owl House (Disney; ended after 3-ish seasons in 2023)

About a young girl who wanders into the Demon Realm and decides to stay there and become of witch instead of going to summer camp

Celebrates being the weirdo and being kind to people

Made by many of the same people who did Gravity Falls

The Office (Peacock; ended after 9 seasons in 2013)

Workplace mockumentary about some bizarre people who work in a boring office space

Features a lot of cringe/second-hand embarrassment based humor

Based on the British limited series of the same name

Very much a 2000s comedy that can at times be just plain mean. Season 1 is the worst season by far so if you can get through it the character become way more likeable

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix, ended after 5 seasons in 2020)

An animated fantasy about a young soldier who simultaneously discovers that her side is the aggressor in the war and that the planet has chosen her to be it's legendary protector. This forces her to leave the only home she's known and her childhood friend to fight for the rebellion, who she thought were her enemies

A remake of the 1985 He-Man spinoff series

Very "defeat them with power of friendship and also this sword you found in the woods"

BoJack Horseman (Netflix, ended after 6 seasons in 2020)

An adult animated comedy about a self-centered, washed-up 90s sitcom actor (who is a horse) as he struggles to become famous again and break out of his destructive habits

Satirizes Hollywood, media culture, and American politics

One of those shows where you aren't supposed to admire the main characters

Big trigger warnings for this one. Seriously.

Good Omens (Amazon Prime, currently on season 2)

Follows the misadventures of a demon and an angel, a witch's descendent, two unskilled witch hunters, a sex-worker, and the antichrist and his friends as the antichrist grows into his power and brings about Armageddon, all set to Queen songs

Based on the 1990 book by Neil Gaiman and Sir Terry Pratchett

The fandom focuses a lot of the shipping side of the show but forget all of that if you plan to watch it

Season 2 wrecked me

Gentleman Jack (HBO Max & the BBC; cancelled after season 2 in 2022)

Based on the real diaries of Anne Lister, a wealthy lesbian in 1830s England who is looking for a wife and to expand her business enterprises

Sadly HBO pulled away and the BBC couldn't afford to make another season without them. What was made is still worth checking out.

Our Flag Means Death (HBO Max; currently on season 1)

A pirate workplace comedy/romcom that loosely follows the real life of Stede Bonnet, a wealthy landowner who ran away to become a pirate due to a mid-life crisis. He wants so badly to be a pirate captain but is far from qualified for the role.

"Traditionally, piracy is a culture of abuse...floggings, keelhaulings. And my thought is, "Why?" And also, what if it weren't like that?" really is the thesis of the show

(Edit) omg I cant believe I forgot:

Avatar: the Last Airbender (Netflix; ended after 3 seasons in 2008)

An animated children's fantasy series in which people can manipulate one of the four elements, and their peacekeeper, the Avatar, can manipulate all four. After being frozen in ice for 100 years, the 12 year old Avatar learns that the Fire Nation has begun a war that he must stop by next summer

Literally the blueprint for the modern animation that we enjoy today. IDK what else to say. It's iconic

Hilda (Netflix; ended after 2 seasons and 1 movie in 2021)

An animated children's fantasy series set in a world full of Nordic folk creatures

After spending much of her life living in the woods with her mom and her pet deerfox, Hilda is upset to learn that her mom now wants to move to Trolberg, a walled-off city where Hilda fears there is nothing interesting to do. She quickly discovers that there is just as much magic and wonder in the city as there is in the woods.

She's voiced by Bella Ramsay and the animation is beautiful. It's all all-around good vibes show.

Interview with the Vampire (AMC; currently on season 1)

After the first interview in the 70s that ended in disaster, Louis de Pointe du Lac reached out to Daniel Molloy and demanded a do-over. He goes back to his life as a black businessman in 1910s New Orleans and the complicated relationship between himself and Lestat de Lioncourt.

It's actually gay enough this time you guys.

I'd also like to add:

The Bear (FX/Hulu; currently on season 2)

A dramedy about a New York chef who inherits a failing sandwich shop after his older brother commits suicide.

Sometimes a found family isn't all sunshine and unicorns. Sometimes its a lot of screaming and resentment and cussing each other out.

It's a very stressful to watch so it's not for everyone, but if you're the type who finds that cathartic then you should give it a watch.

The Sandman (Netflix; currently on season 1)

Begins in 1916 with the capture of the god of dreams by a greedy sorcerer. After he escapes he must rebuild his realm and repair the damage done by his absence.

Trying to describe this show is really, really, difficult. It would be easier to describe what this show isn't.

Based on the DC comic of the same name by Neil Gaiman.

[demxters]

—𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀

x-files!au jake seresin x f!reader

summary: something wicked this way comes on the night you find yourself stuck at the motel california with your work partner, jake seresin.

wc: 12.7k

warning(s): 18+ for sensitive subject matter, fem!reader, no y/n (reader goes by nickname pumpkin), language, mentions of paranormal entities, implications of self harm/suicide, brief violence, alcohol and drinking

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊, 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀��𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!

find it on ao3

a/n: if you're familiar with teen wolf, yes this is also loosely based on the motel california episode of s3. a huge ty to @blue-aconite for being my rock throughout this entire process. i couldn't have done it without you <;3

Of all the moments in your career, none have felt quite as humiliating as this. You have shed your own blood, sweat, and tears just to even be respected in your field. Right when you felt like you were finally coming up on top, Director Simpson threw a curve ball and sent you right to the basement. Your ex-partner laughed in your face at the news, making steam pour out of your ears. 

The X-Files. Are you kidding? You are a highly skilled field agent and medical doctor–that’s one more thing than Director Simpson could say he was. Yet somehow, you were the one going down. Literally. 

The X-Files was a department full of hallucinatory agents. Those who believed in aliens, the supernatural, and ghosts just to name a few of what they investigate. It was a joke department. One that was created to satisfy the pipe dream of passionate believers. Sending you down there felt like an insult to your intelligence. 

The squeaks from the age old elevator as the doors opened to the dusty and dimly lit hallway was enough for you to know this probably wasn’t the most highly decorated department. With a steady gulp, you make your way down the hall. Dodging agents running around like headless chickens has you clutching your suitcase closer to your chest. Your eyes scan each room, looking for the director’s office. 

Someone bumps you on the shoulder, making you yelp. Meanwhile, they drop all their files onto the floor. 

You let out a soft “oh,” dropping to your knees to help the flustered agent. 

“I am so sorry, ma’am,” he breathes. 

Despite your annoyance, you could tell that the man was genuine, and your attitude softens slightly. “It’s alright,” you reassured him with a soft smile. Picking up the rest of his stray papers, you’re able to get a better look at the man. He had boyish features and a buzzcut. He was probably the same age as you, maybe even a couple years younger. He had the look of fresh meat, making your hardened exterior falter. “Agent…” 

His eyes flit up to meet yours with a smile.“Garcia, ma’am. Agent Mickey Garcia.” 

You hold out a hand which he grasps in friendly greeting. “Nice to meet you, Agent Garcia. Are you new here?” 

A shaky exhale leaves him as he lets go of your hand and takes the rest of his papers from you. He runs a hand over his short hair. “That obvious?” 

A sympathetic look graces your features. “Just a smidge.” 

He groans, throwing his head back. 

“Hey, it’s not a bad thing! We’ve all gotta start somewhere.” The sound of a phone ringing in the distance reminds you why you were down here in the first place. If you could spend the rest of your afternoon chatting with Garcia, you would. He was sweet. The kind of person you could find yourself befriending if not for the nature of your position. “Garcia, would you happen to know where Director Mitchell’s office is?” 

He nods hurriedly at the name of his superior. “Absolutely. Follow me.” 

You follow swiftly behind him as you weave your way through the various agents and file carts. A few of the male agents snickered and clearly looked you up and down as you walked by. Years of tolerating this behavior made you indifferent to their actions. Garcia said hello to a few of his fellow agents and blatantly ignored a few of the others who threw out teasing remarks to the man about his last assignment. You could tell it was a sensitive subject for him as the tips of his ears turned red and he ducked his chin to his sternum. 

Finally reaching the end of the hall after what felt like an eternity, you are met face to face with the wooden door and golden plaque with the name “Mitchell” staring back at you. 

Garcia gestures to the door. “Well, this is it. Good luck.” He gives you a half hearted thumbs up that did nothing to quell the anxiety bubbling in your system. 

You nod, harshly trying to swallow the nerves that were crawling up your throat. “I hope to see you around, Garcia,” you’re just barely able to speak. 

He turns over his shoulder with a bright smile and sound agreement before disappearing in the direction they came. 

You hesitantly raise her fist to the door when a muffled, “Come in,” is voiced from the other side. 

You push the door open with caution, unsure of what to suspect on the other side. You have only ever heard stories of the famed director, none that gave you any reassurance that your career was in good hands. 

Director Mitchell despite being dressed in slacks and a button up work shirt looked like the most casual man in the department. A pair of aviators sat on his desk next to his badge that was haphazardly thrown onto the surface of his desk. You wrinkle your nose at the sight, not seeing this man as someone you could easily respect as a superior. 

“I would say have a seat, but I don’t plan on keeping you here long,” the director puts it bluntly. “I’ve read your file. Incredibly impressive, to say the least.” 

You straighten your posture and hold your head up high at his praise. “Thank you, sir.” 

“Needless to say, I don’t see how your talents could be any more useful here as it is with the big dogs.” You could feel the underlying tone of his annoyance with the higher ups. 

“I am thinking the same thing,” you dryly add. 

He pushes off his desk with a large exhale and brings himself to his feet. “Well, whatever the reason, they sent you here. And lucky for you, I’ve got the perfect place to put you.” He beckons for you to follow him out the door. 

Walking past him, you mutter bitterly under your breath, “Lucky me.” 

Director Mitchell explains how the X-Files is an overlooked department in the FBI and continues to emphasize how they are not just a committee full of nut jobs. He drones on and on about the compelling evidence they have and if Director Simpson could just listen to his agents, they could be making history. You zone out halfway through his speech, watching the agents around you intently. Over in one of the board rooms were a group of agents who looked like they were in the midst of a playfully heated argument. You smile upon noticing one of the agents to be Garcia. Amongst them was a woman who looked like she could command a room with a single look. If there was anyone you were hoping to become good colleagues with, it was her. God knows you needed another woman to talk to down here. 

Mitchell leads you to the last room. The door was already ajar and before even stepping into the room, you could tell it was a mess in there. There was red string and newspaper clippings everywhere. Sticky notes and photographs galore. 

You can hear shuffling from inside the room as Director Mitchell steps in front of you and lets himself in with only a light knock. 

“‘M busy, Pete,” a voice from inside the room says. 

It’s deep, male with a hint of southern twang. The way he calls the director by his first name makes you uncomfortable. Director Simpson would never let that slide. 

“Too busy to meet your new partner?” Mitchell teases. 

The rustling stops and Pete steps aside so you can step into the room. You’re unable to hide your surprise as you step inside, glaring at him with questioning eyes. “I’m sorry, partner?” 

The sound of your voice makes the man in the office straighten up. He crosses his arms over his chest and smirks as he leans against his desk. You could see him from the corner of your eyes but refuse to give him any acknowledgement. 

“Director Simpson didn’t say anything about me having to work with anyone down here.” 

The disgust was evident in your tone, yet the man’s smirk only grew into an amused grin. 

Pete sighs. “With all due respect, agent, Director Simpson told me to place you where I think you’d be most fit. That being said, after everything I’ve read about you tells me you like working alone. I think you’ll find that working with Seresin might just change that.” 

The man, Seresin, steps into your view and you can’t help the heat that rises up the back of your neck. He’s attractive, that’s for sure. His blond hair was slightly disheveled–almost like he has run his hands through it a couple of times. He had bright green eyes and a fit physique. If anything, the smug look on his face just infuriated you even more. 

“Jake Seresin, ma’am. Pleasure to meet you.” He holds out a hand that you ignore. 

If looks could kill, Pete would be dead on the floor. 

“I’ll leave you to it, I guess.” The director excuses himself with a pathetic shrug, knowingly escaping your wrath and leaving you for Jake to deal with.  

 You’re still glaring at him as  you watch him go, not wanting to have to interact with your new partner. 

“Well aren’t you just Miss Sugar, spice, and everything nice.” Jake’s voice cuts through your self loathing. 

Your stare, now directed at him, cuts through him like a knife. “I hope you know I’m only doing this because Director Simpson sent me here and not because I want to be here. Especially with you.” 

He laughs, causing your blood to boil even more. “Alright, pumpkin, no need to be so defensive.” 

“Don’t call me that,” you snapped back. 

Jake holds his hands up in surrender, shaking his head with a laugh before settling back into his work on his desk. “We are going to have one hell of a time together, Agent. I can feel it.” 

If only you could figure out a way to transfer out of here before your first case. 

Two years later and you were still partners with Jake Seresin. All it took was one case and an insane amount of coincidences to get you to stay. You are a skeptic to say the least. Despite everything you’ve seen, you continue to go on these cases with Jake in an attempt to prove that there must be some scientific explanation for everything. Every time without fail, you are proven wrong, but you aren’t one to give up. So here you are, still in the X-Files department and still going on crazy cases with Jake. 

Your original dislike for the man turned into fond admiration, and eventually friendship. Jake was smart, smarter than you gave him credit for. You judged him too soon upon meeting him, assuming that just like everyone else, he was just another nut job in his department. However, you soon came to understand that no one in the X-Files department were nut jobs. Only curious agents with curious minds. You’ve even come to respect them and their many far fetched theories for the unexplainable cases you investigate. 

Here you are two years later and still investigating the impossible. But if you were being totally honest? You wouldn’t have it any other way. What you once thought to be a careless mistake, ended up becoming the best two years of your life. 

“Jake and Pumpkin at it again. Solving cases one supernatural entity at a time,” Jake’s comment breaks through the silence of the car. 

You laugh, rolling your eyes at his words. “Solving cases? Absolutely. Supernatural entities? Well…” 

Jake glances at you bewildered, before focusing his gaze back on the road. “What? Oh come on, darling, you mean to say even after everything we’ve been through you still think the supernatural isn’t real?” 

A playful grin tugs at your lips as you turn to see Jake smiling. “Hey, all I’m saying is that there is a scientific explanation for everything.” 

It’s his turn to roll his eyes at you. “Alright, killjoy, way to ruin my fun. Jake and Pumpkin at it again. Solving cases one scientific explanation at a time.” Jake cringes, making you chuckle. “See? Now that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.” 

“We can agree to disagree.” 

“Don’t we always?” Jake sends you a quick wink and you have to bite your lip and look out the window to stop yourself from the school girl giggles that threaten to leave you. 

Jake was a charmer. From the beginning, his suave and confident attitude made you want to rip your hair. Now, it was something that made your cheeks warm and your heart flutter. However, you made sure he would never catch onto that fact. He gets his ego stroked enough by Pete and the unassuming people you meet on investigations. 

You were still riding a post-case high and you just weren’t ready to head back to the office. You hum thoughtfully, causing Jake to look at you with a raised brow. “I’m in the mood for a celebratory drink, Mr. Seresin. What do you think?” 

The mischievous grin on his face told you everything that he was thinking. “I think that sounds like an excellent idea, Pumpkin.” 

You loved to travel. Your favorite thing about being sent all over the U.S. for cases was discovering the small town charms along the way. More specifically, the dive bars. Celebratory drinks became a tradition for you and Jake after your first successful investigation together. The two of you would stop at the first dive bar you’d find and spend the night with a drink or two before heading back to the office or hotel you were spending the night in. 

Tonight, you found a rustic little dive bar in the middle of the desolate road in California. There wasn’t much around other than a few little establishments and it was clear that the next big city was at least a dozen miles away. 

Jake was nearly done with the beer he has been nursing since the beginning of your visit. Meanwhile, you were just starting round three of another tequila lime and coke. He was intently keeping an eye on you, just in case you decided to pass out on him. 

He loved seeing you like this, all rambly and carefree from the alcohol. He loved working with you, but you could be so stiff and orderly that he took advantage of the moments where he got to see you so unabashedly yourself. He did everything he could to make you feel comfortable enough to be yourself around him. It took some time for him to crack you open, especially with how set you were on shutting him out. But he was patient. Before you could even realize what he was doing, he slowly ended up building up your trust in him all while chipping at the walls you’ve put up to keep him away. To his surprise, he immediately fell in love with the woman he found underneath. He knew it was a slippery slope, working with you while feeling the way he did. It could compromise your partnership if you ever found out, as well as his judgment out in the field. 

Bradley had warned him against his feelings towards you. It hurt, but he was right. If you ever found out, you would probably never want to work with him again. 

But he couldn’t help it. The two of you worked so well together and you understood him and his thoughts more than anyone he has ever worked with. The two of you were a team and he never wanted to work with anyone else. He never wanted to be with anyone else. 

So he kept quiet. If keeping quiet meant keeping you here, then he would stay this way forever. At least until he knew if you felt the same way. 

There were moments in your partnership when Jake swore you felt the same way about him. But these moments were fleeting–disappearing just as fast as they came. By the time Jake was able to notice them, you were already pulling away and going back to your hardened “work and no funny business” exterior. 

They were moments like you reaching out for his hand when things got a little too intense. Your eyes scanning for him whenever the two of you get separated in the field. The smaller, more intimate moments where you’d share with him a piece of yourself that no one else knew. 

These were the moments that had him holding on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, you felt the spark between you two that everyone else could blatantly see. 

“Do you think we could take one of these shot glasses back home, Jake? I think Reuben would really like one of these.” You examined one of the lone shot glasses on the bar top, holding it up to the light. 

There wasn’t anything special about it. It was just a regular old shot glass that you could find almost anywhere. But in your buzzed state, the shot glass looked nothing but special. 

He smiles softly, replaying the word home in the back of his mind. Not back to the office, but back home. The way you said it made it sound like Jake was going back to your home with you. Oh, how much he wished that was true. 

Jake shakes his head, gently taking the glass from your fingers and setting back on the table. “I don’t think so, darling. This one belongs to the fine gentleman who owns the bar.” 

A small pout crosses your lips making Jake feel like his heart was thumping out of his rib cage. Oh, he was a goner. 

“Besides, I think Reuben has enough shot glasses to attend to the whole department.” 

“I guess so,” you sigh softly, before going back to sipping at your drink.

The slightly dejected look on your face makes his face fall and before he can even process what he’s doing, Jake’s grabbing your hand delicately in his. “But maybe we can stop at a gas station on our way back and buy him an even cooler glass. How does that sound?” 

Your eyes light up and Jake takes pride in his mission accomplished. You don’t seem to notice that your hand is still in Jake’s and you don’t find it in you to care. 

Jake wants to trap this moment in a bottle forever. There were barely any patrons left in the bar other than you two and a couple stragglers. But to him, it felt like it was just you and him. There was no need for him to be bothered by the rest of the world. 

The bartender clearing his throat breaks Jake from his trance. “You and your lady best be going now, son. It looks like the storm’s getting pretty bad out there. Don’t want the two of you getting stranded on the road.” 

Jake glances out the window to see that the man was right. He could barely see the night sky through the dark clouds overhead and the wind as well as the downpour was starting to pick up. You were still happily sipping your drink when Jake carefully pries your cup from your hand and pays off the rest of your tab. You let out a little whine in protest, but comply when Jake points out the storm brewing outside. 

The bartender gives you a bottle of water to take with you so you can sober up and help keep yourselves safe on the road. Jake, ever the gentleman, shrugs off his jacket and holds it over your head as the two of you run into the rain. He holds it above you as you get into the car before he hurries over to the driver's side. 

The rain seemed to be more than enough to have the effects of the alcohol wearing off as you’re instantly turned back into your level-headed self. 

You’re cursing under your breath as you lamely hold your phone up to the roof of the car in search of some cell service. 

“Nothing?” Jake asks after trying his own luck. 

You shake your head with a worried frown on your face. Jake holds out his hand and you get the message immediately, swapping phones and trying again. You knew it was silly and you’d probably end up with the same results, but it was worth a try. 

Even with Jake’s phone, you’re unable to get even one bar of service. Jake’s luck seems to be much better than yours as a soft “a-ha!” leaves his lips as he holds your phone awkwardly in front of the rear view mirror. 

“You got something?” You lean over to get a look at your phone. 

“It’s a bit slow, but I’ve got it.” He pauses waiting for the directions to load. “Here, Motel California.” 

“You mean like the song?” 

The innocence of your question makes him smile. “That’s Hotel California, darling.” He tilts the phone so you can get a better view. A glimpse of the preview pictures of the motel made the both of your faces drop. “Well, she ain’t pretty, but at least she’s something.” 

You only shrug in agreement. “I guess we have stayed in worse places.” 

“Here, how about you–” Jake is cut off by the sound of your phone chiming. He doesn’t mean to snoop, but the message is right in front of his face. 

It was a text from Pete. 

Are you sure you want to go through with your transfer? 

Jake’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach. He has never felt as hurt and betrayed as he did at this moment. “Transfer? What transfer?” 

Your face falls at Jake’s venom laced words. You have heard him speak this way before–to colleagues who disrespected you at work and even friends who took a joke a step too far– but you have never been on the receiving end of his malice. You know you’ve been caught and you have nothing to say to justify it without giving yourself away. “Jake, I was going to tell you.” 

He drops your phone in the cup holder between the two of you. His face stern as he starts the car and begins driving. 

“Jake,” you start, already feeling the regret seep into your bones. 

“Don’t.” His grip on the steering wheel tightens and so does his jaw. 

“Jake, please. I was going to tell you, I swear–” 

“When? After you get transferred?” He scoffs, his anger fading into disappointment. Jake whispers your name. For the first time since you met him two years ago, he called you by your name. Not Pumpkin, or sweetheart, or darling. “And to think I was proud to call you my partner. I thought we were good together. Clearly I was the only one.” 

“Jake,” you beg. “You know that’s not true.” 

He holds a hand up, silently telling you to stop. If you say anything else he might say something he doesn’t mean. “Just read me the directions. I don’t want to talk about this right now.” 

Respecting his request, you shove down the cries that want to escape you and reach for your phone, weakly directing him to the motel. 

He was quiet tonight. It was another case solved thanks to you and Jake and you were celebrating with a pitcher of beer at one of the honky tonk bars you stumbled upon in the city. 

And Jake was never quiet. Especially after an investigation. He usually talked your ear off about how impressed he was with your skills and you would roll your eyes and give him an equal amount of appreciation. Or he would be going on about the supernatural phenomenon the both of you had just witnessed while you try to debunk it all with scientific jargon. 

The two of you landed an investigation in Texas and on the way there, you have never seen your partner as excited as he was on the plane ride. You thought Jake would already be on the dance floor because this was his element. Suddenly it was like a switch flipped, and he was no longer comforted by the essence of home. Now he looked like he was ready to take the first flight out of there. 

You desperately wracked your mind through the events of the past few days, nitpicking every moment you spent with him. You were hoping you could find the moment where his childlike excitement turned to absolute dread. 

It hit you then–the moment he changed. The abandoned warehouse on 5th Street where you ran into one of his old colleagues, Daniel Callaghan. Callaghan’s department was also doing some investigating of their own, causing you guys to cross paths. 

Callaghan was the type of man you were attracted to in your field. Tall, level headed, believed facts over fiction. He was everything Jake was not. Maybe in another time, you would have found yourself gravitating towards someone like Callaghan, but not this time. Instead, you saw him as arrogant, stuck up, and a misogynist when it came to his comments about you. 

You had only responded to him with a scoff and the finger to which Callaghan found amusing. Jake, on the other hand, wasn’t as pleased and told Callaghan to knock it off. That made the tension between the two skyrocket, leaving you in the middle of what felt like a masculinity contest.

You were just about ready to leave, gently grasping Jake’s forearm and motioning for him to follow you out. The two of you were nearly out of earshot when Callaghan called out your name. 

“Be careful with him out there, Pumpkin.” The way he says your nickname, the one only ever reserved for Jake’s lips alone, makes you feel nauseous. “They don’t call him the Hangman for nothing.” 

Jake had tensed in your hold and since that encounter, he hadn’t been the same. 

You wanted your bubbly and enthusiastic partner back, not whoever this was in his place. 

You clear your throat in an attempt to catch Jake’s attention. His gaze stays concentrated on the ring of condensation forming around his cup. 

You turn your body to face him instead. Reaching a hand out, you ghost it over his shoulder. You barely touch him when you’re pulling back like he burned you. 

After a moment of deep contemplation you finally ask him, point blank. “What’s going on with you?” 

He looks up, feigning confusion. “Nothing. Why?” His eyes darted back to the glass in his hand. 

“Bullshit.” You take the cup from his hands, eliciting a gasp of surprise from him. 

He knew you could be blunt when you wanted to be. Jake should’ve known you would notice something was going on with him. “It’s nothing you need to worry about, Pumpkin.” 

His words make you frown. Why was he so adamant on shutting you out after trying so hard to pry you open? “Hey, do you remember what you told me on the first case we worked together? You told me that we need to learn how to trust each other because we’re partners and partners have got each other’s backs. Always. This is me having your back, Jake.” You sigh, looking into his green eyes that looked glossy under the lights. “I’m not the easiest person to talk to or be around sometimes. But you’ve taught me that opening up to people isn’t the worst thing in the world. I know that you trust me out there, so please, trust me here too.” 

Jake wished he could tell you he wasn’t acting the way he was because he didn’t trust you. No, that wasn’t it at all. He trusted you with his entire being. There was no doubt about that. It’s what was bothering him that had him drawing away from you. He didn’t want you to see him differently. He didn’t want you to think you couldn’t trust him anymore. The guilt that courses through him is overwhelming. When he told you to trust him on that first day together, it was because he didn’t want you to see him like everyone else did. He wanted to make sure that you knew, he wouldn’t let anything happen to you. If he tells you what’s on his mind, you’re going to doubt everything he ever told you. 

The way you’re looking at him, with soft eyes and a gentle smile, makes his icy exterior melt. You always managed to make him feel like you could see right through him. After confessing what’s on his mind, things between you two might never be the same. Jake won’t blame you for it though. This was all on him. Him and Callaghan for opening his stupid mouth. 

He knows he won’t be able to fool you. So he takes a deep breath, preparing himself for imminent loss.“I know you heard what Callaghan called me. Are you not wondering what he meant by that?” 

The genuine confusion on your face makes his chest ache even more. “What, Hangman? I mean I heard him, but I didn’t think much of it.” 

Jake won’t meet your eye, not when he’s making this part of him known. “Hearing that name, being called that again sent me back to a time I wish I could forget. Callaghan reminded me that no matter how hard I try, I’m still the guy I was four years ago.” 

“Who were you, Jake?” 

The rain still hadn’t stopped when you arrived at the motel. Even in his anger, Jake was ever the gentleman–opening the car door for you and shielding you from the downpour with his jacket. However, he hadn’t looked at you nor spoken a word to you once since the revelation that you may be transferring departments. 

You hated yourself for keeping this from him. You swore you were going to tell him, you were just waiting for the right time. Unfortunately that time never came, and Pete beat you to it. The look of betrayal and hurt on Jake’s face upon receiving the news was enough to make you reconsider your decision. In all honesty, you were still undecided on where you stood with the idea of transferring. From Jake’s outright dismissal of your presence, you found it harder to decide. 

The sound of someone calling your name, pulls you from your thoughts as you see Jake looking at you with a frown. You never thought it was possible to crave someone’s smile as much as you do now. You missed the way his eyes would crinkle at the corners and light up like a child on Christmas morning and the adorable dimple on the left side of his lips that you most definitely did not think about every single night before bed. A whole hour hasn’t even passed since the drive from the bar and yet you found yourself missing him as if he has been gone for months.

Instead he continued to stare at you with that stoic expression on his face, one you only saw once back when you were in Texas. There was only one other person you could remember that Jake faced with that expression and it made you sick knowing you might just be the second one. 

All he did was beckon for you with a nod of his head as you quickly thanked the employee at the front desk, who barely acknowledged you, before scurrying after Jake. 

Waiting for the elevator timidly behind Jake gave you a moment to fully take in your surroundings. You were so focused on Jake that you hardly realized he had already checked you both into the motel and that you had been in the lobby for a good ten minutes. 

You’ve been to a lot of unsettling places since the beginning of your partnership with Jake. Each with their own feelings of heaviness, despair, and discomfort from the supposed entities that inhabited the space. You blamed it on your own psychological expectations of the places, but this time you had nothing to blame it on other than your own feelings of unease. 

You shifted on your heels behind Jake, clutching your overnight bag tighter over your shoulder. The hairs on the back of your neck rose at the sudden chill that overcame your body. Strange that only the back of your neck felt cold, compared to the rest of you that was burning up. It was almost as if a hand brushed against your neck with ice cold fingertips. 

Looking over your shoulder, you expect to see a fan or perhaps an A/C unit but you are met with nothing but the wall. You feel the prick at your neck once more, only this time, your heart rate begins to speed up as you suddenly feel like you were being watched. You shake your head, reminding yourself that it was just your imagination. With the way motel management clearly hadn’t bothered to renovate the place since the 60s, you forced yourself to believe that it was merely an old building. Nothing more. 

Yet the itch to reach out and hang onto Jake’s arm for comfort didn’t cease, even as you reassured yourself that it was all in your head. 

The elevator ride to the third floor was filled with heavy silence. The unease you carried didn’t leave you even as you left the ground floor. It seemed to have followed you into the elevator and all the way up. 

The strength of the feeling made your arms prick with goosebumps as you followed Jake with your chin down, staring intently at the backs of his heels. 

Jake makes an abrupt stop at the end of the hallway and if it weren’t for your hyper fixated gaze on his shoes, you probably would have ran right into his back. He takes a heavy sigh before turning to glance over his shoulder at you. 

His green eyes, void of emotion, meet yours. “The concierge said they only had one room left for the night, so we’re gonna have to share.” 

You swallow the urge to scoff at the blatant lie that the motel only had one room available, for it was evident that the place was hardly full by their near empty parking lot. You keep this thought to yourself and nod, not wanting to give Jake another reason to be upset at you.

Stepping into the room, your nose wrinkles at the smell of stale wood and moist mold. You’re hesitant to even lay your bag onto the armchair that sat in the corner of the room. That also looked like it hadn’t been touched in years. 

You hear Jake gently close the door behind you and take in the room as well. He has the exact same reaction as you–his face twisting into a sour expression before letting out a frustrated sigh. 

An awkward laugh leaves your lips in an attempt to lighten the unsaveable somber mood. “At least you’ll have the bed to yourself.” 

Jake’s brows furrow at your insinuation and he shakes his head in disagreement. “What makes you think I’m gonna let you sleep on the floor?” 

You shrug. “What makes you think I would let you sleep on the floor?” 

Sharing a room with Jake wasn’t unknown territory. Sharing a room with one bed however, was a different story. 

“Yeah, no. That’s not happening. I’m sleeping on the floor and that’s final.” Jake’s hands rest on his hips like a mother scolding her children. His stance makes you giggle, pulling a small smile to his lips. 

The previous air that surrounded the two of you seemed to dissipate, if only for a little bit. You would take what you could get, wishing what happened hours ago was magically wiped from Jake’s memory. 

“Seriously? You’ve been complaining about your back hurting for weeks now! The floor isn’t going to make you feel any better.” You mimic his posture, desperate to get another smile out of him. 

His lips grow wider. “Well, what do you suggest we do then? My ma would kill me if she ever found out I let a lady sleep on a motel floor.”

Fiddling with your fingers, you try your last attempt at extending an olive branch of apology towards him. “I mean, we could always…” You trail off, figuring that he would understand what you’re suggesting. 

You regret the moment the words leave your mouth because the look on Jake’s face falls back into that guarded disposition. 

The lightness of before disappears just as fast as it came, making the weight on your shoulders drop. You silently curse yourself, wishing you had just shut your mouth and kept quiet. 

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” His gaze darts to the floor. “Take the bed. I’ll be fine on the floor.” 

You step forward, ready to argue once more, when he scurries quickly into the bathroom and shuts the door roughly behind him. You settled at the foot of the bed, burying your face in your hands in an attempt to stop the tears that threatened to fall down your cheeks. 

In the end, this was your fault. You were the one who was a coward. The one who ran away when things got scary. When things got real. You’d think Jake’s withdrawal from you would be a good thing–that it would lessen the pain of you leaving. But just because you had wanted to leave did not mean you wanted to cut off his friendship. Now, you didn’t even have that. 

You couldn’t sleep knowing that you were marked. You had stayed up all night last night just trying to put together some rational explanation for the sudden appearance of scars on the back of your neck but it was no use. Whatever this was, science couldn’t provide you any comfort. 

Even so, you still wouldn’t believe in whatever it was that Jake thought was going around killing innocent women. He swore up and down that it was some paranormal entity with ill intentions. He even went as far as saying it might be a demon. 

That made you scoff and roll your eyes until you woke up with the same mark that was found on the five victims’ bodies before their deaths. You knew a lot about coincidence, but this was a pattern. No matter how the mark had gotten onto your skin, the evidence just shows that you were next. You were going to die. 

A soft knock on your door makes your heart jump out of its ribcage. You clumsily reach for the first thing you find to defend yourself and raise it over your shoulder. The paranoia was getting to you and you didn’t even think of checking through the peephole before throwing open the door and swinging at the person on the other side. 

“Pumpkin, hey! It’s just me!” Jake stood at your door in nothing but an old t-shirt and flannel pants as he ducked and backed away from your swinging arm. “Put the lamp down, you’re okay.” 

You hardly register Jake’s voice, keeping your arm raised trepidatiously. 

His lips tilt down as he takes a step forward with his hands in front of him. “It’s okay, I promise,” he speaks gently. Jake nods, slowly reaching out to take the lamp from your grip. 

Your hand tightens when he tugs on it and he nods reassuringly, using his other hand to delicately cup your cheek. 

At the contact, you release a long breath, dropping your shoulders and letting him completely take your makeshift weapon away from you. 

He ushers you inside and carefully closes the door so he doesn’t startle you. Jake felt like something was wrong with you after finding out about the mark. No matter how many times you reassured him you were fine, even playing the skeptic card didn’t stop him from seeing the genuine fear in your eyes. 

Jake knew your relationship with the work the two of you did was complicated. Despite everything you’ve seen, you weren’t exactly a believer of the explanations behind the cases you solved. You helped Jake with the investigations and the small details he tended to miss, but in the end he was the one who called the case a supernatural occurrence. You balanced him out in a way, pointing out when he was too far gone and more logical reasonings sat right in front of him. Other times you challenged him and forced him to think outside the box. The two of you work in harmony together, making each other one hell of a team. 

But not once since the start of your partnership, had Jake ever seen you this shaken up. He was afraid that you were going to shut him out again because of it. Jake knew more than anyone how paralyzing fear could become. He knew how lonely being afraid could be. Which is why he found himself knocking on your door in the dead of night. Unbeknownst to you, you weren’t the only one experiencing fear. 

When Jake found out that you were marked, he had never felt such intense fear and worry in his life. Hearing stories of being marked was one thing, experiencing it with someone he cared dearly about was another. 

The dark purple hue beneath your eyes and your lack of attentiveness didn’t go unnoticed by Jake. No matter how much you tried to play off your worry, he could see right through you. Jake always could. 

“Pumpkin…” he starts, eyes sad and full of concern. 

“I’m fine, Jake.” You could feel his stare on the back of your head but you refuse to acknowledge him. 

“It’s okay not to be, God knows I’m not,” Jake admits, taking another step closer to you. He needs you to know that you’re not alone in this. 

That makes you scoff. “Why? You’re mark free. You have nothing to worry about in the first place. Being a man and all, because when do men have to worry about anything?” 

Jake stays silent, letting you stew in your anger. You have every right to be angry, he doesn’t blame you for taking it out on him. In fact, he lets you. 

You tighten your grip against the old wooden desk in front of you, staring at the makeshift evidence board you’ve created in your room. “Did you know that just because I’m a woman, I’m already more likely to be a target for a murder? And that’s discounting my occupation. Even now, whoever or whatever is leaving behind a string of bodies is targeting women. And we don’t even know what’s causing these deaths. It is so horrid just thinking that even these so-called supernatural forces, that we have no scientific explanations for,  have some kind of vendetta towards women. So if you came here to sympathize with me and tell me some bullshit about understanding what I’m going through, you can leave. Because you don’t. You never will.” 

Jake lets your words seep into him, trying to fully understand where all of your hurt is coming from. He has two younger sisters, both of which he loved and protected fiercely from the world because of the absence of his father. He knew how scary the world could be for them, but you were right, he would truly never understand it to the extent that you guys would. He wishes there was something he could do or say to make things better, but there’s not. There isn’t a thing in the world that would make any of this better. 

Instead, he sauntered over to where you stand in front of the desk, eyeing your evidence board carefully. “There’s something missing here,” Jake taps the wall with the knuckle of his finger. “Between the woman’s time of death and when the authorities actually find the body. The body looks so… different from what’s actually described as her cause of death.” 

“Well, hopefully you’ll be able to figure that out when it happens to me,” you grumble before running a hand down your face and collapsing onto the edge of your bed. 

Your despair and hopelessness is what breaks him. Jake gets on his knees in front of you and pulls your hands away from your face, firmly gripping onto your knees. “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare even think it. We’re going to figure this out, okay? You and me. I will figure this out if it’s the last thing I do.” 

“Jake…” 

“No, hey, listen.” He is stern. Stern, yet gentle in his words. “We’re partners and we’ve got each other’s backs, remember? I’m not just going to let you die. It’s you and me, always.” 

Tired of fighting your exhaustion and denying just how terrified you are, your facade breaks–and so does the dam holding your tears at bay. Reaching to hold onto his hands tighter, you sob softly, “You promise?” 

“I promise, Pumpkin.” 

That’s all it takes for you to slide off the bed and onto your knees as you fall into Jake’s chest. Your shoulders shake in fear, but also relief from being in Jake’s arms. There was no certainty in his statement, yet you believed him wholeheartedly. For some reason you had faith that he would figure this out. That he wouldn’t leave you alone in this. 

Jake shushes you softly, cradling your head on his shoulder and rubbing a comforting hand up and down your back. He meant every word he said. He would go through hell and back if it meant keeping you from harm’s way. Though neither of you would admit it, you guys needed each other. In the field and off of it. 

Ever since you walked into his life, it was as if his career didn’t exist before you. He had no recollection of how he used to work when you weren’t his partner. The only thing he could see was you by his side for everything. Jake wished he could tell you this upright, but he’s afraid of scaring you away even more. 

But with the way you held his shirt tighter, it gave him the slightest bit of hope that maybe you needed him just as much as he needed you. 

You wake to the sound of thunder rattling the room. Out of pure instinct your hand shoots to the back of your neck, rubbing your thumb back and forth on the marred skin there. It was some kind of defense mechanism you had developed since the incident. A lame attempt at protecting yourself, you assumed. 

Turning over onto your side, you blindly grab for your phone on the bedside and squint your eyes to view the time. 

3:39am 

A groan escapes you, as you roll onto your back and throw an arm over your eyes. Another crash of thunder makes your heart jump and you jolt up. You’re breathing heavily as you pull your covers up to your chest. It was just thunder. There was no need for you to be so afraid. After releasing a deep sigh, you lay back down on your side. Curious to see if Jake had woken up from the commotion outside, you peek over the side of the bed only to be met with Jake’s vacant makeshift bed. 

The bathroom door was wide open and you doubted that he was out on the balcony. With your room key in hand, you don’t even think twice before bolting out of bed in nothing but your pajamas and into the hallway. 

The yellow hallway lights are blinding at first glance and you attempt to blink yourself awake. “Jake?” You call out into the hallway, not caring for waking up any other guests of the motel. Worry for your partner clouded your better judgment and you found yourself running down the hall with no clue where you were going. 

Movement in your peripheral has you swiftly turning towards the second outlet of the hallway where you see Jake walking away. 

“Jake!” You continue to follow him. He doesn’t even flinch at the sound of his name, and your worry is quickly replaced with anger. You knew he was probably still mad at you from the sudden news of your transfer, but he was being an immature asshole for making you chase him down a hallway. 

You pick up your pace, following after him with  newfound determination. When you got your hands on him you swore you were going to give him a piece of your mind. No matter how fast you walk, however, the further it seemed that you got from him. It was as if the hallway was stretching in size, progressively getting longer the closer you got to Jake. 

That feeling of dread, the one that prickled at the skin of your neck and made your hands clammy took over. That feeling that told you something was wrong. You were suddenly snapped into work mode, your senses more alert than ever. 

Those eyes you thought you felt on you earlier in the lobby returned, causing you to turn around to look for the culprit when you are met with nothing. A chill from behind you makes you whirl around again. Still, nothing. 

“You can’t save him.” 

The eerie whisper in your right ear sends you running. It sounded as ordinary as a whisper during the game of telephone, soft and deliberate. But it made you feel so unsettled that you thought you might vomit from all the nerves it ticked off. 

You don’t look back as you rush down the hallway, brushing your fingertips across the scratchy red wallpaper to keep yourself grounded. To remind yourself that you were here and not in some twisted dream. 

Too caught up in your desperation to escape, you remember the reason why you were out here in the first place. 

Jake. 

On cue, that disembodied voice echoes in your mind. “You can’t save him.” 

Was Jake the one the voice was talking about? That you wouldn’t be able to save him? Save him from what? 

You’re stuck. You swore you were going insane. You let your imagination run wild and now you were imagining things. All of Jake’s crazy stories were finally getting to you. And yet… 

What if this wasn’t your imagination? What if Jake was really in trouble? 

He would believe the voice and find you. That is what he’d do. He would follow his gut, and if there was anything you knew about Jake’s hunches it was that they were almost always right. You had to find him, even if this was your mind playing tricks on you, you had to go after him. It’s what he would do for you. 

_________

Jake woke up to the sound of his name being called. He shot up from the floor, immediately knowing that voice. It was the voice that echoed through his head in his nightmares, the one that haunted him in the middle of the night–and it was the one that was calling out to him now. 

“Jake!”  

He hears its pleas clear as day, begging for him to come save them. 

“Jake!” 

Jake scrambles to his feet, not caring about his shoes nor grabbing his room key because the second Jake walks out that door, he is no longer in the motel. Rather, he is in a place he recognizes all too well. 

Riley Mulder, his ex-partner, was screaming at him from the depths of the underground subway tunnel system they were investigating. 

Strange activity and a mysterious substance running down the cement walls wasn’t enough to get their team on the case, it was the murder. 

The victim, petrified in fear, like a statue in Medusa’s garden, lay paralyzed on the abandoned train tracks and covered in that mysterious goo. 

The sounds of his partner echo again and Jake finds himself running towards the sound. 

“Riley! Riley, I’m coming!” Jake shouts in a panic, sprinting down the dark tunnel. 

Jake curses himself for not remembering to bring a flashlight with him as he stumbles over another rail.  

He could see Riley’s silhouette in the distance, yet no matter how fast he ran, Jake didn’t seem to be getting any closer to him. 

“Riley!” He calls again, tripping and falling onto the ground in full force. 

Jake lands on something sticky beneath him and he picks up his hands to wipe it on his shirt. His heart jumps out of his chest at the sight below him. 

It was Riley. His skin was ice cold, and he was frozen in a state of fear. His mouth was wide open and his hands were blocking his eyes—his eyes that Jake was sure would be hollow if he could see them. 

He feels like he’s going to be sick as he scrambled as far away from him as possible. 

The shadow of a person behind him causes him to look over his shoulder. The sight before him fills him with dread. “No,” he mutters. “No, Pumpkin, you gotta get out of here. You’re not supposed to be here.” 

“I’m here because of you,” you hiss. Your voice is filled with venom, harsh in a way that isn’t yours. 

Deep down, he knows you aren’t really here. That he isn’t really here. But everything feels so real, throwing all rationale out the door. You are here. He is here. And you were right, it’s because of him. 

“Riley is here because of you. Riley is dead because of you.” You take a menacing step closer to him as Jake shakes his head in fear. “Because you were too much of a coward to stick around. You left him behind, left him…hanging. That is how you got your nickname isn’t it? Hangman?” 

Jake pales. Hearing that name out of your mouth, a name that he detests more than anything, hurts him. He remembers the night he told you with a heavy heart the origins of his nickname. He wasn’t proud of it, and he expected you to hate him for it. He wasn’t expecting for you to give him your full and complete trust. That was the night the two of you truly became partners. No more secrets, well, except one. 

“No, that’s not what… I’m not–” he stutters. His heart pounds in his chest, as he takes another step backward. Why were you doing this? Why were you hurting him this way? 

“How does it feel to be the one left out to dry, huh? Sorry I didn’t tell you about my transfer sooner. I just wanted to hurt you just as bad as you hurt Riley because you don’t deserve me, Jake Seresin. Being your partner is only going to get me killed and I know that. So I thought I’d save myself before you could.” 

Jake shuts his eyes, bringing his fisted hands to his temples. “Stop,” he pleads. You were right. He knew you were right. But he didn’t think he’d ever actually hear you say it. 

“You couldn’t save him and you can’t save me.” 

The two of you are on the roof of a building now, startling Jake slightly. He watches you take a step towards the edge of the roof and his heart jumps. “Pumpkin, what are you doing?” 

“This is all your fault,” you whisper, taking another step back. 

He reaches out desperately, trying to hold onto your hand. “Please.” 

Your wide eyes meet his and for a moment he swears your fingertips touched his. He tries to grab you, but you slip right through his fingers and right off the ledge. 

Jake can’t hear anything other than his own screams as his knees hit the concrete. 

“This is all your fault.” He picks up his head to see Riley’s face, gray and jaw wide open just like it was in his last moments. 

This time, he’s not afraid. A feeling of calm washes over him suddenly. Acceptance of his fate. You were right. He doesn’t deserve you. He couldn’t even save you in the end. Now you were gone, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

He couldn’t save Riley. 

He couldn’t save you. 

And there’s no one to save him. 

“This is all my fault.” 

“It’s okay, Jake,” Riley comforts him. “You can let go.” 

Something compels him to stand on the ledge where you once were. Jake nods, taking in a deep breath before stepping forward. He’s no longer afraid. 

_________________ 

If the exit door leading to the roof had not been flung wide open, you wouldn’t have even thought to check up there. What would Jake even be doing up there on the roof? You had no idea. But your gut was telling you something about this place wasn’t right and that you needed to grab Jake and get out of there as fast as possible. 

You curse softly to yourself for not bothering to put on any shoes or even throwing on a jacket as the rain continued to pour outside. Jake didn’t have any on either, making you feel even more on edge than you thought possible. 

Jake was always particular about those things. He claimed to have sensitive soles and would never be caught dead walking around in bare feet unless he was at the beach. Even then, his toes would curl up uncomfortably at the feeling of the individual grains rubbing against his skin. 

Everything he did tonight was out of character and you doubted it was still because of the news of your transfer. 

A shiver crawls its way up your spine upon setting your sights on Jake and it was not just because of the rain. The state he was in pulled a gasp from your lips as you raised a hand to cover your mouth. His back was turned to you so you could see the outline of his muscles through his soaking wet white sleep tee. As you recalled, he was barefoot as he stood on the ledge of the roof. 

You didn’t understand what he was doing there so close to the edge. One wrong step and he would fall. You didn’t want to startle him into accidentally losing his balance so you carefully make your way forward until you’re standing right behind him. 

Jake was still unaware of your presence as he continued to stand still. You apprehensively wrap your hand around his wrist and gently tug him back towards you. His body moves like a rag doll, almost as if he were in such a relaxed state that he was no longer controlling his limbs. 

“Jake, what the hell are you doing out here?” You ask him as you use your other hand to grab his other arm and bring him down. 

It was like his body was on autopilot as he followed your guidance robotically. Your heart starts to race at the sight of him. His green eyes were looking right back at you, however there was absolutely no recognition behind them. Almost like he didn’t even see you. 

“Jake?” You call out once you notice he has started mumbling something under his breath. 

You could barely hear him over the sound of the rain but you caught a string of words that sounded like, Riley, my fault, and let go. 

Your heart drops to your stomach at the sound of his ex-partner’s name. You knew what happened with Riley and you knew that Jake still felt guilty about it no matter how much you tried to convince him that it wasn’t his fault. 

“Jake?” You say again, with much more force this time. Cupping his face in your hands, you lightly shake him, desperate to break him from whatever trance he was in. 

You wracked your brain in an attempt to understand what was happening. Was he sleepwalking? Jake hasn’t had any previous history of sleepwalking but that was the only thing you could conclude with the way he was acting. 

You rub your thumbs softly against the apples of his cheeks and his wet skin, frowning at how cold to the touch he feels. “Jake, I’m gonna bring you back to bed, okay?” You don’t know why you’re even telling him this since he can’t even hear a word you are saying. You grab him by the hand once more and turn around when you feel him tug you back. 

You look at him over your shoulder to see his feet still planted firmly on the ground beneath him. He is still looking at you, but gone is that neutral look on his face. It was replaced with a look that made you feel uncomfortable under his gaze. He was smirking–a look that wasn’t uncommon on Jake’s face. The glint in his green eyes that seemed to have darkened under the pale moonlight held something more unnatural. A look you would describe as sinister. 

His grip on your hand tightened and you had to stop yourself from squeaking out in pain. “Jake, what are you doing? Let me go, that hurts.” 

Jake’s smirk grows. “Stupid girl, Jake’s not home right now.” 

The voice that comes out of his mouth is hardly his. It’s low and unlike the Southern timbre you’ve grown so used to. It felt almost sickening to listen to. It made your heart race and tripped the danger signals in your head. “This isn’t funny, Jake.” Your voice fades at the end of your sentence despite how hard you try to keep your fear at bay. “Seriously, that’s enough.” 

He laughs mockingly. The sound makes your skin erupt in goosebumps and you tug on your hand to try to get out of his hold. “What makes you think this is a joke? I told you. Jake’s not home right now. He’s busy. Busy letting go.” 

You shake your head in denial. You know what this is. Jake has told you about this before. You’ve even seen it once yourself in a previous case that you concluded to be mass hysteria and sleepwalking. The word is on the forefront of your mind but you refuse to acknowledge it. 

“Acknowledgement makes it real,” you could hear Jake’s voice in your head. “You’ve got to start working on that.” 

You couldn’t. Acknowledging it made this situation real. It made everything you refused to believe in, refused to see the truth in, real. That just made this predicament ten times more frightening. 

“What does that mean?” You conclude that you won’t acknowledge it, but you would play his game like you would with a perp in the field. Goad him on, keep him talking in hopes that you could figure out his motive. 

“Jake is a suffering soul and you are the reason why his pain is too much to bear. He needs to let go so he can be free of the burdens you’ve placed upon him. I’m here to make sure he does without you getting in the way.” 

Jake, or not Jake, uses one arm to push you back onto the floor with an inhumane bout of brute force that makes your back ache. Your mistake was trying to use your arm to catch yourself. As if the immediate burning pain wasn’t enough, the sickening sound of a crack echoes in your ears as you hit the ground. 

You cry out before falling onto your shoulder and cradling your arm with your other hand. The tears that begin to gather in your eyes are from all the emotions rolling through you at once. Fear, regret, pain, but most of all, guilt. 

“I have to free him, just like the others.” Not Jake speaks before turning around and robotically walking back towards the ledge. 

You had to stop him. “The others? What others?” You call out, voice strained due to the feeling that your arm was on fire. 

“The others that were suffering!” He turns back around to face you. “I had to take over and relieve them from the pain that has been inflicted upon them before I could take care of the source of their pain.” 

“Take care of it, how?” 

“You’ll see. You are next after all.” A menacing smile pulls at Jake’s lips and the reality of your situation finally sinks in. 

There was not a single skeptic bone in your body as you finally accepted your job and what you do. Each moment of solving case after case with Jake became even more real as you thought of them one by one. You went through the catalog of supernatural explanations for each one before landing on the one that was being displayed right in front of you. Seeing it in the eyes of someone you loved was something you could no longer deny. 

Possession. Jake was possessed. He was possessed by some sick spirit that thought they were helping rid Jake of his pain. 

Your tears mix with the rain droplets on your cheeks as you beg for Jake to look at you. He couldn’t hear you, you knew that, but you had to do something to get his attention back on you. The spirit in Jake’s body was leading him back to the ledge. 

Watching Jake take another step closer to the edge of the rooftop finally made you understand what the spirit was doing. Ridding them of their misery. The entity was going to make Jake step off the ledge. 

You couldn’t take your eyes off Jake as you pushed yourself with all the strength you had off the floor with your good arm. What did Jake say could take victims out of a possession? 

You stare at the pair of lovers with watery eyes as they embrace each other tightly. “How did he do it?” 

“Do what?” Jake asks, looking at you with his arms crossed. 

“Snap her out of it. I really thought she was a lost cause.” 

He shrugs. “Easy. He just reminded her of who she is and what she’s living for. It’s cheesy but the power of love is not to be underestimated.” 

You scoff with an amused smile on your lips. “Whatever, Celine Dion.” 

You rush forward, grabbing him by the arm and forcefully bringing him back off the ledge to face you. “Jake, you are stronger than whatever this is. You’re Jake Seresin, FBI Special Agent for the X-Files. You are the smartest guy I know and maybe even the funniest, but don’t tell Bradshaw.” 

Jake, or whatever is possessing him, contorts his features so Jake is smiling down at you in amusement. Not the playful kind that you’re used to, but a more unsettling one. “That’s cute, Pumpkin. But what you’re doing is not gonna work.” 

You hold onto Jake’s arm with as much strength as you have, not caring if it might bruise him later. Bruising is the least of your worries. You ignore the bile that pushes itself up your throat at the sound of your nickname being tainted by something that isn’t even Jake. 

“You are confident and a little too arrogant sometimes, but I wouldn’t have you any other way. You are my best friend and my partner.” You sniffle, as you look into his clouded eyes. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you about my transfer and I’m sorry for even doing it in the first place. The truth is, I did it because I was afraid. I was afraid of how attached I have become to you. I was afraid that at any moment something bad would happen and I would lose you. But most of all, I was afraid because I love you.” 

You scan his features, desperate for a sign that he heard you. 

“I love you, Jake Seresin and I was afraid that I do. I have never felt this way before towards anyone and I was scared. Working with you became too much and for a moment, I thought that transferring would save me from the inevitable heartbreak once I realized that you would never feel the same about me. But Jake, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. 

I love you and I need you to come back to me because I realized, I don’t think I could really live without you in my life. I need you like I need air to breathe, Jake Seresin. You are everything to me. I need you to come back to me and when you do, I promise I’ll stay, even if you don’t love me back. As long as you’re still in my life, I’m good. That is all I need. So please, please be strong and fight this for me. I know you’re in there and that you can hear me. I know you can. Fight it, Seresin. Beat that old spirit’s ass.” 

It feels like an eternity before he finally comes to. You had seen the shift in his gaze after the second “I love you,” but you still kept going. Just in case he needed reassurance. Just in case he didn’t believe you. 

The moment was subtle, just as it had been the first time you witnessed a possession. It wasn’t anything flashy like the media portrayed it to be. There was no screaming, no bodies defying gravity, and no latin phrases or priests in sight. 

It was the gasp of air Jake took before falling forward and into your arms. It was the cold of his skin turning warm again. It was the way he cried as his own arms wrapped around your body. He was here and he was home. 

You are careful of your injured arm as you slowly lower the two of you onto the ground. The rain, you’ve noticed, had finally ceased to a stop leaving you and Jake sitting in a puddle. Though neither of you cared as you were both sopping wet anyways. 

You cradle his head into the crook of your neck and sigh in relief with a cry of your own. Jake’s arms tighten around your middle and you kiss his wet hair. 

“It’s okay, baby. You’re okay. You’re here,” you whisper into his ear. 

You don’t know how long has passed until Jake finally says something to you, but you don’t care. You’d hold him for as long as he needed. 

“Did you mean it?” He croaks, looking up at you with sad eyes. “Did you mean what you said?” 

You knew what he was really trying to ask. Were they not just empty words to get me out of my head?  

You brush his cheek with your knuckle. “Every single word. I love you, Jake. I love you so much and I am so sorry for everything I have done to make you think otherwise.” 

The smile that falls on his face makes the heaviness of before melt away. You no longer felt cold and damp from the warmth of his smile. One that was so unlike the one he had given you when he was possessed. 

This was your Jake, the one you loved. 

“I love you, Pumpkin. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say it,” he confesses. 

“Are you serious?” You let out a watery laugh of disbelief. 

He nods. “I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts sometimes.” 

A smile of your own graces your lips as you lean your forehead against his. “Kiss me, Jake. Please, I don’t think I can wait any longer.” 

The kiss is everything you thought it would be and more. His lips feel like home as they meet yours in a dance that shouldn’t feel as familiar as it already does. It felt like a dance you’ve done a million times before. It was a dance you would do a million times again. 

“Please don’t transfer. Please don’t leave me, baby,” Jake begs as he releases your lips. 

You could cry from how desperate he sounds. You did that. You instilled that doubt in him. So you’ll prove to him that you’re here to stay, no matter how long it takes. “I’m staying. I promise. Jake, I don’t think I could leave you even if I tried.” 

That’s all it takes for Jake’s lips to meet yours in another round of passionate kisses. 

You shift in his hold, whimpering when you feel a sharp pain in your arm from when you fell. With all the adrenaline wearing off, you can feel the ache of your split bone. 

“Shit, Pumpkin.” Jake reluctantly pulls away. He looks down at you before making contact with your arm that you cradle back to your chest. “Darling, you’re hurt. We need to get you to the hospital.” 

He must think you’re crazy by the way you shake your head and try to keep him down with you. “Not yet.” 

“But baby, your arm—“ 

“My arm can wait,” you hum. “Let me keep you to myself for a bit. Just me and you.” 

Jake nods, falling back against you carefully. “Just me and you. Hey, Pumpkin?” 

“Hm?” 

“Thank you for saving my life.” 

Your smile is bright enough to rival that of the now rising sun. “Thank you for saving mine.” 

Six Months Later 

“I’m surprised you even wanted to come back here,” Natasha looks to the duo beside her with surprise. 

You’re smiling proudly up at Jake who has his arm securely around your waist as he tucks you into his side. 

“I needed to make sure that it was really done. That they really shut down for good,” Jake replies, looking out to the Motel California that was now officially closed for good after a thorough investigation by their department. 

Turns out, over a dozen helpless travelers and fallen victims to the motel’s sinister spirits. 

Dozens were found dead over the years by what was concluded as self inflicted injuries and unfortunate accidents. 

Upon finding this out, you and Jake had set it onto yourselves to shut down the motel’s business in hopes that no one would fall victim to those spirits again. 

Now, you could only hope that the spirits would stay contained in the now abandoned motel forever. 

The motel held a bittersweet place in both of your hearts. It was the place where you first said “I love you,” but it was also the place where an irreversible tragedy almost occurred. 

The motel served as a turning point in your relationship, but it did not define who the two of you were today. 

“I’m surprised the two of you didn’t take one look at this place and know it was haunted,” Bradley retorts from the other side of Jake. 

Jake elbows Bradley in the stomach causing him to wince over in exaggerated pain. 

You and Natasha giggle at the boys’ exchange, rolling your eyes with amusement. 

“Come on, Bradshaw, let’s give these two a moment of peace.” Nat pulls Bradley by the arm and towards the car. 

Bradley huffs under his breath like a child but complies, dragging his feet behind her.  

“You did good, Jake,” you grin at your boyfriend of six months. 

“Oh, please, that was all you, Pumpkin. I just played puppet for the night.” 

“Yeah, but it was you who pushed for this investigation and for the motel’s closure. That’s more than I did.” 

Jake shakes his head with a laugh and presses a quick kiss to the tip of your nose. “Why don’t we just agree to disagree?” 

You smirk, gazing at him knowingly. “Don’t we always?” 

He leans down to place a real kiss on your lips, one filled with love and a little bit of nostalgia. “That we do, baby.” 

The two of you take a moment before walking back to the car hand in hand. 

“Looks like we’re at it again, Seresin,” you praise. 

He eyes you quizzically with a clear question written on his face. 

“Jake and Pumpkin at it again. Solving cases one supernatural entity at a time.” 

tgm taglist: @joaquinwhorres @harrycherrylove @smoothdogsgirl @t-nd-rfoot @dempy @ollyoxenfrees @potato-girl99981 @averyhotchner @2guysonascooter @loveforaugust @blue-aconite @fandom-life-12 @stiles-banshees @iamdannyday @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @breezemood @eli2447 @angelbabyange @finelytaylored @pono-pura-vida @hecate-steps-on-me @blueoorchid @aviatorobsessed @blackwidownat2814 @hallecarey1 @averagereader35 @laneylovesglen @atarmychick007 @kajjaka @urfavelocagirl @clancycumber230 @memeorydotcom @kmc1989 @percysaidnever @thestarspangledcaptain @wkndwlff @shanimallina87 

[accessiblehealthcaresolutions]

Top-Tier Medical Director Services for Medical Spa Owners

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[justinspoliticalcorner]

Caleb Ecarma and Judd Legum at Popular Information:

Several of Elon Musk’s associates installed at the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) have received unprecedented access to federal human resources databases containing sensitive personal information for millions of federal employees. According to two members of OPM staff with direct knowledge, the Musk team running OPM has the ability to extract information from databases that store medical histories, personally identifiable information, workplace evaluations, and other private data. The staffers spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly and feared professional retaliation. Musk Watch also reviewed internal OPM correspondence confirming that expansive access to the database was provided to Musk associates.

The arrangement presents acute privacy and security risks, one of the OPM staffers said. Among the government outsiders granted entry to the OPM databases is University of California Berkeley student Akash Bobba, a software engineer who graduated high school less than three years ago. He previously interned at Meta and Palantir, a technology firm chaired by Musk-ally and fellow billionaire Peter Thiel. Edward Coristine, another 2022 high school graduate and former software engineering intern at Musk’s Neuralink, has also been given access to the databases.

Other Musk underlings embedded at OPM following President Donald Trump’s inauguration include the agency’s new chief of staff, Amanda Scales, who until January was a human resources staffer at xAI, Musk’s artificial intelligence firm, and Brian Bjelde, who has spent the past 21 years at Musk's SpaceX, including the last 10 leading the human resources department. They are joined by Gavin Kliger, a former Twitter software engineer serving as a special advisor to the director of OPM, and Riccardo Biasini, a former software engineer at Musk’s tunneling venture, the Boring Company. OPM did not respond to a request for comment. Shortly after Trump took office, OPM installed Greg Hogan to serve as its new chief information officer (CIO). Hogan was tapped to replace OPM CIO Melvin Brown, who had accepted the job less than a month ago. The civil servants who oversee the OPM’s information technology services were then instructed to provide access to Musk's associates, according to the OPM staffers who spoke to Musk Watch. One of the OPM staffers received an email from the agency’s new leadership instructing them to give Musk’s team “access [to] the system as an admin user" and "code read and write permissions." “They have access to the code itself, which means they can make updates to anything that they want,” the staffer explained. USAJOBS, the federal government’s official hiring site, was one of the systems that Musk's associates were given access to. The database stores personal information — Social Security numbers, home addresses, employment records — provided by private individuals who have applied for federal jobs, regardless of whether the applicants went on to work for the government. Musk’s aides were also given access to the OPM’s Enterprise Human Resources Integration (EHRI) system. Contained within the EHRI are the Social Security numbers, dates of birth, salaries, home addresses, and job descriptions of all civil government workers, along with any disciplinary actions they have faced. “They’re looking through all the position descriptions… to remove folks,” one of the OPM staffers said of Musk’s team. “This is how they found all these DEI offices and had them removed — [by] reviewing position description level data.” Other databases Musk’s team has access to include USA Staffing, an onboarding system; USA Performance, a job performance review site; and HI, which the government uses to manage employee health care. “The health insurance one scares me because it's HIPAA [protected] information, but they have access to all this stuff,” the OPM staffer noted.

[...] A new server being used to control these databases has been placed in a conference room that Musk’s team is using as their command center, according to an OPM staffer. The staffer described the server as a piece of commercial hardware they believed was not obtained through the proper federal procurement process. There is a legal requirement that the installation of a new server undergo a Privacy Impact Assessment (PIA), a formal process to ensure the change would not create any security vulnerabilities. But in this instance, the staff believes there was no PIA. “So this application and corresponding hardware are illegally operating,” they added. On Friday, Reuters reported that some senior civil servants have been blocked from accessing the EHRI and other OPM systems, making it difficult for career OPM employees to know what Musk’s team has been examining or modifying. In the same report, the outlet revealed the team had moved sofa beds into the agency's headquarters to continue their work around the clock.

This should be a major national news scandal.

Elon Musk and the underlings he put in place at the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) have jeopardized data privacy and national security.

[hellyeahscarleteen]

"Last month, the UK’s four-year-long review of medical interventions for transgender youth was published. The Cass Review, named after Hilary Cass, a retired pediatrician appointed by the National Health Service to lead the effort, found that “there is not a reliable evidence base” for gender-affirming medicine. As a result, the report concludes, trans minors should generally not be able to access hormone blockers or hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and instead should seek psychotherapy. While the review does not ban trans medical care, it comes concurrently with the NHS heavily restricting puberty blockers for trans youth.

The conclusions of the Cass Review differ from mainstream standards of care in the United States, which recommend medical interventions like blockers and HRT under certain circumstances and are informed by dozens of studies and backed by leading medical associations. The Cass Review won’t have an immediate impact on how gender medicine is practiced in the United States, but both Europe’s “gender critical” movement and the anti-trans movement here in the US cited the report as a win, claiming it is the proof they need to limit medical care for trans youth globally. Notable anti-trans group the Society for Evidence Based Gender Medicine called the report “a historic document the significance of which cannot be overstated,” and argued that “it now appears indisputable that the arc of history has bent in the direction of reversal of gender-affirming care worldwide.”

Most media coverage of the report has been positive. But by and large that coverage has failed to examine extensive critiques from experts in the US and elsewhere. Research and clinical experts I interviewed explained that the Cass Review has several shortcomings that call into question many of its findings, especially around the quality of research on gender medicine. They also question the credibility and bias underpinning the review. I spoke with four clinical and research experts in pediatric medicine for gender-diverse youth to dive into the criticisms.

“I urge readers of the Cass Review to exercise caution,” said Dr. Jack Turban, director of the gender psychiatry program at the University of California, San Francisco and author of the forthcoming book Free to Be: Understanding Kids & Gender Identity."

[mariacallous]

"I’m going to let him go wild on health,” former president Donald Trump said of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. at his Madison Square Garden rally in New York City this past weekend. “I’m going to let him go wild on the food. I’m going to let him go wild on the medicines.”

Kennedy, a former Democrat, suspended his presidential campaign in August and endorsed Trump. He has since launched the Make America Healthy Again campaign, an initiative focused on tackling chronic diseases that Trump has seemingly embraced in recent weeks. Given Kennedy’s anti-vaccination stance and conspiratorial leanings, some policy experts and former government officials are concerned about how his views could shape the nation’s health agenda.

Kennedy has long made false statements about the safety of vaccines and has touted disproven treatments for Covid-19, including ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine. On the campaign trail, he has railed against seed oils, blaming several chronic health conditions on their presence in processed foods.

How much influence Kennedy could have on national health policy will all depend on his role within a future Trump administration. Trump did not clarify his remarks at Sunday’s event, including what position he is considering Kennedy for. According to a CNN report that ran late Tuesday, Kennedy said Trump “promised him control of the public health agencies,” but in an email to WIRED on Wednesday, Steven Cheung, Trump’s campaign communications director, said that formal discussions of who will serve in a second Trump administration are premature.

Trump could be considering Kennedy to lead the Department of Health and Human Services, which has 80,000 federal employees, or one of the agencies within it, such as the Food and Drug Administration or the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It would be a departure from his previous top health picks, who had lengthy government or public health careers. For instance, Alex Azar, Trump’s HHS secretary, was deputy HHS secretary under George W. Bush and an executive at drugmaker Eli Lilly. Scott Gottlieb, a physician and investor appointed as FDA commissioner under Trump, had previously worked for the FDA and had served on the boards of pharma and biotech companies.

When asked to elaborate on Kennedy’s health priorities, Amaryllis Fox Kennedy, the former candidate’s campaign director and daughter-in-law, told WIRED: “Bobby aims to end conflicts and corruption at the agencies, ensure all testing is undertaken by scientists who have no financial interest in the outcome, and all results of all trials are released to the public. The free market will take care of it from there.” (The National Institutes of Health already requires results of clinical trials funded by the agency to be published to a government database.)

Jerome Adams, US surgeon general under Trump and current executive director of health equity initiatives at Purdue University, says that even if Kennedy were tapped to lead HHS, the FDA, or the CDC, it’s unlikely that he would ascend to one of those roles due to his lack of medical training and controversial views on public health issues. “Congressional approval is required for these positions, and his stances could be a barrier,” Adams says.

If Republicans control the Senate after next week’s election, though, that calculus could change. “The GOP has generally fallen into line in terms of supporting candidates that President Trump does,” says Genevieve Kanter, associate professor of public policy at the University of Southern California.

If chosen to be FDA commissioner, Kennedy would control the agency’s budget and priorities and could have a sizable impact by installing lower-level appointees who are sympathetic to his worldview. While the FDA commissioner does not single-handedly approve or authorize new drugs, Kantner says outside political pressure can certainly influence that process. Kennedy could also appoint members to FDA advisory committees, panels of outside experts that make recommendations to the agency on drug approvals and other regulatory matters. The FDA often follows the recommendations of advisory committees when making decisions on new drug approvals, but not always.

The FDA can also choose to not enforce some rules in certain circumstances—what’s known as enforcement discretion. Given his support for dubious and unproven therapies, such as stem cells and hyperbaric oxygen, an FDA under Kennedy, for instance, could choose to not go after companies that market unapproved treatments.

“When we think of the kind of person we want to be head of HHS or be FDA commissioner, someone ‘going wild’ isn’t exactly the first trait that comes to mind,” Kanter says. “It wouldn’t ease the public’s concern that we would see more food safety incidents and adverse events from poorly regulated drugs and devices from a lax administration that is known for embracing unscientific theories.”

Kennedy wouldn’t have free rein though. Existing laws and regulations govern how the agency works, and a new FDA commissioner wouldn’t be able to get rid of those quickly. “If you’re dealing with regulatory issues that have been long-standing and have lots of precedent, it’s just not possible to turn some of those things around or dismiss them overnight,” says a past leader of the FDA, who requested anonymity so that they could speak freely.

Likewise, even in a leadership role at HHS or the CDC, Kennedy wouldn’t be able to easily affect vaccine policy. Vaccine recommendations are made by the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices, which comprises outside medical and public health experts. Georges Benjamin, executive director of the American Public Health Association, says Kennedy could try to stack that advisory committee with people who are sympathetic to his views on vaccination, but those members are chosen through a rigorous nomination process.

“He could certainly change policy that way, but it takes a while and it won't be a secret. There are ways in which the public can push back, including taking a case to court,” he says.

Kennendy could have influence in other ways beyond direct control of a public health agency. Trump could potentially bring Kennedy on as a White House adviser, which wouldn’t require approval by the Senate.

“Without congressional vetting and oversight, there is potential for unchecked impact. RFK's views could shape health policies, raising concerns about misinformation and harm,” Adams says.

Karoline Leavitt, national press secretary for the Trump campaign, told WIRED in an email that if reelected, Trump will establish a “special Presidential Commission of independent minds and will charge them with investigating what is causing the decades-long increase in chronic illnesses.” She did not say whether Kennedy would be chosen for that task force.

Kennedy has also been sizing himself up for another position in a potential Trump cabinet: agriculture secretary. A longtime environmental activist, Kennedy has promised to take on big farms and feedlots, reduce pesticides, and fix what he presents as a food system captured by corporate interests. “When Donald Trump gets me inside,” Kennedy said in a video shot outside the Department of Agriculture headquarters in Washington, DC, “it won’t be that way any more.”

This platform is a continuation of Kennedy’s long history as an antagonist against the agriculture industry. In 2018, Kennedy and a team of attorneys won an initial $289 million settlement against Monsanto, representing a groundskeeper who developed cancer after being soaked with a herbicide made by the agrochemical firm. He also attempted to sue the pig farming company Smithfield because of its production of hog manure, although that case was thrown out by a federal judge.

Kennedy’s past makes him an unlikely candidate for agriculture secretary, according to Daniel Glickman, who served in the role during Bill Clinton’s presidency. “It’s hard for me to imagine, given Trump’s traditional base in the heartlands, that he would pick somebody who was an advocate for breaking up large farms and breaking consolidated agriculture,” says Glickman.

Like top posts at HHS, the USDA secretary position would need to be confirmed by a Senate vote. “I don’t think [Kennedy] is a slam dunk,” says Glickman.

Trump’s pick for USDA chief during his first term was Sonny Perdue, a former governor of Georgia and founder of an agricultural trading company. Most agriculture secretaries either have a background in the industry or politics—two crucial constituencies for the person who will be in charge of a department that employs nearly 100,000 and is made up of 29 agencies, including forestry, conservation, and nutrition programs. “The difference between Sonny Perdue and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is like night and day,” says Glickman.

If Kennedy were to be confirmed as agriculture secretary, he might struggle to enact the most radical parts of his program. He is an outspoken critic of pesticides, but the USDA is generally not in charge of regulating those, says Dan Blaustein-Rejto, director of agriculture policy and research at the Breakthrough Institute. Rather, the EPA regulates pesticides with public health uses.

Although he may not be able to directly influence pesticide regulations, Kennedy has said he would try to “weaponize” other agencies against “chemical agriculture” by commissioning scientific research into the effects of pesticides. The USDA Agricultural Research Service has a nearly $2 billion discretionary budget for research into crops, livestocks, nutrition, food safety, and natural resources conservation.

There are other levers that an agriculture secretary could pull, says Blaustein-Rejto. The USDA is investing $3 billion through the partnership for climate-smart commodities—a scheme that’s supposed to make US agriculture more climate-friendly. A USDA chief might be able to put their thumb on their scale by influencing the selection criteria for these kinds of programs. The USDA also oversees the Commodity Credit Corporation (CCC), which has a $5 billion fund that it uses to support farm incomes and conservation programs, and to assist farmers hit by natural disasters. It’s possible that a USDA chief could influence how these CCC funds are distributed by the agency.

Kennedy has also argued that corporate interests have captured the US’s dietary guidelines, and he pledged to remove conflicts of interest from USDA groups that come up with dietary guidelines. US dietary guidelines are developed jointly by the USDA and HHS and are updated every five years, giving the agriculture secretary limited opportunities to influence any recommendations.

“If RFK is in a high-level policy role, I expect to see a lot more talk about ultra-processed foods, but I’m not sure what that would actually entail when it comes to the dietary guidelines,” says Blaustein-Rejto.

The experts WIRED spoke with largely think Kennedy’s more extreme positions will likely be constrained by bureaucracy. But the message that elevating a vocal vaccine skeptic and conspiracy theorist would send remains a serious concern ahead of a potential second Trump administration.

[mareislandfoundation]

Raw Courage

Christmas Day 1941 Seaman First Class Donald Stratton arrived at the Mare Island Hospital with life threating burns over much of his body. A little over two weeks before he was trapped with six shipmates high above the main deck on the sky control platform of the battleship USS Arizona (BB-39). A surprise attack by aircraft of the Imperial Japanese Navy had turned the battleship into a burning hell on earth from which there could be no escape. As he told the story "A bomb blew up the forward magazine of the USS Arizona and the ship was engulfed in flames. I and five others were located on the anti-aircraft gun director’s platform above the bridge when the forward powder magazine blew. All of us were badly burned. I was burned over 80% of my body. At that point, the only possibility to evacuate the ship was to dive in the water, which was 80 feet below and was fully engulfed in flame. That was not an option for survival.”

The United States was at peace as earlier when General Quarters sounded aboard the USS Arizona while moored at the huge naval base at Pearl Harbor.   Japanese planes had just been sighted bombing nearby Ford Island. Hearing the alarm, Seaman Stratton rushed to his battle station as a sight setter in the Port Anti-Aircraft fire director. Within minutes of his arrival at his battle station a Japanese high-altitude bomber dropped an armor piercing bomb that tore through the deck of the ship and ignited a million pounds of explosive, and thousands of gallons of aviation gas and fuel oil. The massive explosion completely enveloped Stratton’s battle station as the ship settled to the bottom of the harbor, her back broken and her sides blown out. Trapped above the flaming wreckage Stratton and six others were saved when another sailor, Joe George, aboard the repair ship USS Vestal that was moored alongside the Arizona acted. Despite direct orders Joe George threw the men a line and refused to cut it until the men made it to safety. Stratton and five other survivors from the sky control platform managed to make it over the flaming seas surrounding the burning hulk of the Arizona to the deck of the Vestal by climbing hand over hand down the line as the Japanese continued to attack.

The burns on Stratton’s arms were so bad that his skin sloughed off as he worked his way down the line to the Vestal. With burns over much of his body he was taken to the Naval Hospital at Pearl which was overwhelmed with patients. The decision was made to evacuate some of the patients to the mainland thus Seaman Stratton and 196 other seriously wounded sailors and Marines were transported on the blacked-out transport USS Scott arriving at the Mare Island Hospital on Christmas Day 1941. Seaman Stratton was successfully treated at Mare Island with what were then innovative burn treatments for several months until he was transferred to Corona, California for a convalescence. Due to the severity of the damage to his arm and leg he was medically discharged in September 1942. Unbelievably, when his injuries allowed, Donald Stratton re-enlisted in the Navy and went aboard the destroyer USS Stack at Naval Station Treasure Island in 1944. Aboard the Stack Seaman Stratton turned the tables on the enemy as he and the Stack participated in the invasions of New Guinea, Halmahera, Leyte, Luzon and Okinawa.

After the war Stratton took up the cause to secure a posthumous medal for Joe George, the sailor from the Vestal who helped rescue the six men from the sky control platform. Joe George was never recognized for his role in saving the men because he disobeyed a direct order in not cutting the line to the Arizona until Seaman Stratton and five others had made it across. Lest you think the Navy was being too cold-hearted in denying recognition for Joe George, the Vestal was at risk from the ongoing explosions and fires from USS Arizona as well as the ongoing attack. Vestal had been hit with two bombs and was sinking when Joe George was ordered to cut the line. The fact is, Vestal could likely have pulled away snapping the line, but the site of those desperate men likely influenced more than just Joe George on that awful day. Despite the circumstances, in 2017 the US Navy acceded to Donald Stratton’s persistence and posthumously awarded Joe George the Bronze Medal for Valor.

Dennis Kelly

[covid-safer-hotties]

The Push for Off-Label Rx to Treat Long Covid

Also preserved in our archive

By Tinker Ready

Charlie McCone, a San Francisco marketing specialist, developed long COVID in 2020. Before he recovered, he developed another acute case of COVID, and in 2021 his long COVID worsened. He’s been sick with fatigue and shortness of breath since then, spending many hours of every day in bed.

Only one drug helped his shortness of breath, he said. But doctor after doctor refused to prescribe that drug, Plavix, approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to prevent blood clots.

McCone began asking for it after doing his own research and learning it showed promise. When he finally found a doctor to authorize a prescription, McCone said, he began to breathe easier again.

McCone, now an advocate for long COVID sufferers as part of the Patient-Led Research Collaborative, a group of researchers and patients with long COVID, felt he had to take alternative steps. With no federally approved treatments for the millions of Americans who have experienced long COVID, some patients and doctors are turning to off-label drugs to manage the condition . But patients say it is not always easy to get a doctor to prescribe them. And in some cases, insurance will not cover the drugs, ruling them experimental.

In the case of Plavix, Stellenbosch University researchers in South Africa have published results of a blood plasma analysis that found patients with long COVID had microclots — and Plavix may help relieve them.

McCone and others are asking doctors to learn about and use off-label drugs that show evidence of helping long COVID symptoms. Among them: Low-dose naltrexone for fatigue Nicotine patches for fatigue Rapamycin for immune function Triptans for headaches Beta-blockers for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, dizziness Paxlovid for viral persistence Plavix and other blood thinners for blood clots

“We don't believe any of these drugs are going to cure patients, but [using them off-label] can be the difference between a patient holding onto their job,” McCone said. “There could be a patient going from being stuck in a dark room to being able to socialize and enjoy their day. This can be difference of a parent being able to take care of their children.”

Not every doctor is going to be comfortable prescribing Plavix, McCone said. But there is some solid evidence to support the idea that low-risk drugs like it can bring long COVID patients a lot of relief, he said.

The Argument for More Aggressive Off-Label Prescribing Julia Moore Vogel, PhD, senior program director at the Scripps Research in La Jolla, California, was co-author on a paper published last month in Cell calling for a stronger push for long COVID treatments. The paper noted that “as patients await evidence-based care, many engage in self-experimentation on the edges of medical science.”

Moore Vogel and others say people don’t need to experiment. They can use safe, existing treatments if they know about them and a doctor agrees a prescription is warranted. She would like to see more professional medical groups do more continuing education on long COVID so doctors can learn about the best off-label options.

Groups like the American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation have come up with a guideline on how to treat cardiac, respiratory, and other symptoms in patients with long COVID. But Moore Vogel thinks primary care doctors should take the lead.

“Part of what we're saying is a lot of it falls on the primary care physicians at this point because people are waiting so long to get into those subspecialties,” she said.

She would like to see recommendations for the primary care providers boiled down in simple terms about what is known about first-line, off-label therapies that have emerged.

Sterling Ransone, MD, a family physician in coastal Virginia, agrees that primary care specialists need to be educated on how to detect and treat long COVID.

He says he sees about one long COVID case a week, and sometimes his patients don’t know they have it. Patients will come in a month after symptoms, and he will ask them if they were sick and have tested for COVID.

“I literally had a patient tell me, ‘Is that still a thing?’” he said.

He suggests doctors add long COVID to the list of conditions they rule out when presented with confounding symptoms.

“What we need to do is make sure we always ask about the potential for long COVID with this myriad of symptoms,” Ransone said.

He prescribes off-label medication after doing research, if a patient asks for it, he said.

“If it's somebody I know well and they've got questions about something, I'll absolutely sit down and talk with them and tell them the research that I've done,” he said. “I mean, you know, from a physician standpoint, above all, do no harm, right?”

Once patients and doctors decide to try something, they need to get insurance approval. Some of the medicines are denied insurance coverage and are expensive, Ransone said.

“We have to go through prior authorization processes, and that's just another hurdle these folks unfortunately have to jump over,” he said.

One reason patient advocates say off-label medications are key is that clinical trials take too long, McCone said. Many trials of long COVID treatments are underway, but none have led to conclusive findings that have identified effective standardized treatments for the condition. As a result, the FDA has not approved any standard long COVID treatments in the same way treatments for other viral conditions and diseases have received approval and are widely used.

Patient Advocacy by Patients McCone is a patient representative to the National Institutes of Health’s RECOVER-TLC research program, which met this summer to launch a series of clinical trials. He said the organization is making progress, but results from the clinical trials aren’t expected until 2028 — a long time for patients with long COVID to wait.

He noted the upcoming trial of low-dose rapamycin, which researchers hope will address some of the immune or infection-related dysfunction that drives long COVID.

After McCone spent hours in bed for more than a year, he can now work at the computer for about 2 hours a day. His shortness of breath improved after he started taking Plavix.

“That's up from about 30 minutes. I can leave the house occasionally, once to twice a week, depending on the week,” he said.

McCone and others are calling for better continuing education for doctors about long COVID for doctors and more publicly available information to help patients know what drugs are already out there and might benefit them.

“Read the research, provide some low-risk treatment options to your patients, and let your patient decide,” he advised doctors. “I don't think this is asking you too much. This is a health crisis that's impacting every aspect of society.”