#Mecha is like so super duper awesome

[timandmau]

Balancing

I didn't draw his foot right I was doing this from memory

[greyias]

Hop on the Crazy Train Guys! Spoilers and Rampant Speculation, Ahoy!

Hey guys, are you ready to hop on the Crazy Train? Find your tinfoil hats as I leap from the “Oh, that might make sense” discovery decrypted from the 5.4 Datamining into full on Conpsiracy Theorist mode. Full disclosure, I realize A) how ridiculous all this sounds; B) the extreme unlikliehood of this being the ACTUAL storyline is�� low. But if it were. It would be a-MAZ-ing!

This my new pet Master Theory of the (SWTOR) Universe. And the answer, is not 42, as Douglas Adams might have us believe, but in fact 7-18-1-22-5-19-20-15-14-5. You can pry this ridiculous headcanon from my cold dead hands.

Spoilers, and wild speculation that grasps at the thinnest and most fragile of canonical straws, below the “Read More”. Leave your suspension of disbelief behind, because it’ll just drag you down.

So at the end of the revised letter discovered in the 5.4 datamining, in each of the variations on the letter that Theron sends, there’s an error message with a string of what appears to be random numbers. If you apply an alphanumeric cipher to them, it looks like he’s trying to say “It’s Zildrog” and gets cut off, hinting that perhaps everything is not as it seems. (Seeing as how we have to wait until next Tuesday to see if we do indeed receive this letter, well…)

So, anyway, let’s leap onto the crazy train guys. Starting where this whole traitor nonsense first cropped up, which was RageBot Tyth’s CAPSLOCKKKK speech at the end where he’s revealing that, *GASP* there’s a traitor in our midst. (This was pretty heavily hinted at from the first cut scene, that something was up). Let’s look at that speech, in all its Shifty, Capslocky glory:

YOU HAD NO CHOICE. YOU WERE LURED HERE. BLINDED BY DUTY. DISTRACTED BY TRUST. YOU DID NOT SEE THE BLADE TO YOUR NECK THE RAGE IN YOUR SHADOW. THE TRAITOR. YOU ARE BETRAYED.

There’s a dialogue option here that gives you three branched answers (if I’ve pulled from the proper datamining spot on TorCommunity), where you can be all “Bzuh? Why?” Or “You’re trying to trick me” or “I KNEW SOME MOFO WAS UP TO NO GOOD”: ONE MARKED BY ANGER. PAIN. HOPE ERODING. // RAGE FEEDS ON TRUTH // SUSPICION CORRODES

The first one… is interesting.

THE BETRAYER LURED YOU TO IOKATH. IGNITED WAR. SPARKED THE ENGINES OF RAGE, ENVY, PASSION, HATE, SORROW. THE BETRAYER NOW OFFERS YOU: SACRIFICE PRIME. FUEL FOR THE SIX GODS!

There’s an extra bit he says at the beginning too that’s interesting, but I’ll circle back around to that later, because it’s a bit of a tangent.

So, he specifically mentions that we’re blinded by our duty (doesn’t say to what), and we’re distracted by “trust”. There’s a “rage in (our) shadow”. They’ve lured us into this death trap with the specific intention of waking the old Zakuulan gods, in theory, to bring about the end of all organic life in the galaxy.

And if you’re thinking “Well, minus the genocide of the entire galaxy that sounds like it could be Theron! I mean, unless we’re like dating him and trying to rebuild everything and doing exactly what he has indicated that he wants up to this point”–hold on! Stop wallowing in despair, because I’ve got a better idea! It’s the Order of Zildrog!

Actually, I’ll do one even BETTER. It’s not just the Order of Zildrog. It’s Zildrog. As in, the old Zakuulan serpent demon who likes to sleep in the Endless Swamp, test warriors, and eventually wants to bring about the destruction of all life. Because that’s what crazy serpents of death do in their spare time. I mean sure, I could be 100% off base, being played by my own hopes, expectations, and cipher substitutions and grasping at the thinnest of straws here, but hear my crazy butt out!

After that speech, we all assumed that the traitor he was referring to, one who’s been at our side from “the beginning of it all” was person in the Alliance. But what if it wasn’t… a person? But still a member of the Alliance. An in fact, vital member of the Alliance.

What if it’s the Gravestone?

Okay, whoever hasn’t slowly backed out of this post at this point and unfollowed me, I assume you had picked “sentient warship of death and destruction” in the “Who is the Traitor?” betting pool as a joke, and are suddenly sweating and looking nervous. (“Am *I* a Scion? Can *I* see the future? That was a joke! I thought the theory of several jawas standing on each others’ backs wearing a robe made more sense!”)

And in a strange sort of way, this makes… a tiny bit of sense? There have been some things that have been nagging at me since we started KotFE/KOTET, but I had brushed them off as dues ex machinas and just weird plot holes. (I mean, they might still be. Sometimes things in SWTOR can be subtle as an anvil landing on your head) While this speech was going on, there was a tiny voice in me asking: What does this giant raging metal god of death care about me? How does he know this about some random person in my Alliance?

But a fellow mighty war machine from Iokath? Tyth just might know a thing or two about that.

“But Grey,” you say as you reach for a sedative as my ramblings start to reach a fever pitch, “you said this was about Zildrog. What does that have to do with the Gravestone? My lovingly loyal warship that I rescued from a swamp and has followed me into battle ever since?”

Well, what I’m saying (as I dodge that sedative to get out the rest of this wild hair that is likely unmoored in reality) is that the Gravestone IS Zildrog. And he’s finally making his move after pretending to be a loyal, stupid spaceship after all this time.

Hold on, let me put on my tinfoil hat and explain my insanity more. Because there are hints peppered throughout KotFE and KOTET that actually back this up. Ambient dialogue on Zakuul with both the Heralds of Zildrog and just random Zakuulans allude that Zildrog is like kind of the rebel of the God Pantheon (some don’t even consider him one of the Gods), hinting that maybe he fought with the other Gods. After the Iokath storyline, we find out that the Gods are actually Giant Mechas intended to play war games all over the galaxy, and Zakuul was one of their favorite worlds to destroy over and over, decimating that population constantly.

If you run about the place there’s all sorts of strange bits of lore about Zildrog that don’t seem to connect to the KotFE/KOTET storyline. Forgive me for I’m stuck at work and can’t go find all of the actual pieces of dialogue verbatim, but I just heard a lot of them this weekend running KotFE Chapter 7 (for unrelated reasons) and it goes something like this: Zildrog is a mythical “dragon” who is “sleeping” out in the Endless Swamp. Waiting to be awakened so he will one day return and “raze the world” and bring “death to all who did not believe”. He’s even got his own Death Cult! Cool! They’re just as insane as this theory, and fervently believe the Apocalypse is an Awesome Thing™. If only there was a way…

So, here we are, Outlander Extraordinaire, and we find this ancient warship out in the swamps. It’s called the GRAVEstone. A name that seems to indicate something ominous about its origins. It’s been whispered that its the only thing that ever stood up in a fight with the Eternal Fleet (which we now know also came from Iokath. As part of their War Game scenarios). It’s been a while since I’ve played that chapter and paid attention to the dialogue, but I recall Valkorion being a bit… vague about it. Like, possibly that he had no fucking clue it was there. (Or he did, hard to tell with Voidy McLiarface). It has this mysterious room that we spend at least two scenes in, and we’re like “Wow, this is weird”, and the game’s like “Yeah, isn’t it? Hahahaha, we better go stop Arcann now shouldn’t we little Outlander?” and you promptly forget about it until your next playthrough and you’re like “Yeah, this is still weird.”

Then we’ve got Scorpio, another Iokath droid, one of the more intelligent ones. She can talk to the Gravestone, interface with it directly. She tells us it has intelligence, an intelligence almost rivals hers. I think she even hints that it has its own purposes but that it won’t say what those are. Before we can delve into “Wait, are you saying that my brand new ancient starship is sentient?” oops! We gotta go stop Arcann again!

Then we’re in KOTET, we’ve just disarmed a fucking quantum bomb on board the Gravestone, when all of the sudden EVERY SINGLE SHIP IN THE FLEET + THE GRAVESTONE suddenly gets pulled back to its point of origin: Iokath. This is a really weird side trip considering its only purpose in the bigger plot of KOTET seems to be to explain the Fleet’s origins as well as give us some shiny new shield upgrades for when Vaylin attacks in Chapter 8 so we don’t immediately die. But hey, our Love Interest was super duper cute with us during this chapter and that was touching.

And then we defeat Vaylin, the Eternal Fleet goes feral and we have to tame it, we kick that stupid ghost out of our head once and for all, and we all live happily ever after! Yay! GO TEAM!

And then. We have to go back to Iokath. Everyone has to go back to Iokath, because a mysterious third party has suddenly slipped in information about these superweapons that literally no living character has memory of, or any reason to have memory of. Specifically, memories of ancient war machines that have been known to decimate entire organic populations, just because. One of their favorite hangouts being Ancient Zakuul, who built up an entire pantheon around them. The only justification for Theron knowing about this is that he plugged in during the Iokath chapters, but his behavior during that and subsequent chapters is either the best acting in the world, or suggests that he doesn’t know this at all. He in fact is the one who plugs back in, and finds evidence that explains the purpose of the superweapon. Dialogue on mine (because Light Side ftw baby!) indicates that maybe it’s Scorpio who’s giving you this information? But it’s vague, almost as if it’s someone else… like, say, an ancient artificial intelligence that lovingly takes you around the galaxy and lets you play with it’s big old Omnicannon? And it’s ignited another conflict, that has the potential to spread throughout the galaxy.

Oh yeah, and then there’s you. The latest in a line of people with control over the Eternal Fleet. Something that has been shown to mercilessly rain destruction on inhabited worlds like a mad dog unless someone is holding its leash. And hey, if you were, to say, be killed while sitting on a throne that information was planted for one of your trusty sidekicks to find, maybe it would be free to go about it’s business raining destruction on the galaxy. Oh, and those old slumbering “Gods” might wake up too, and go cause a few apocalypses of their own. And while everyone is distracted with all this dying, maybe that dark presence in that weird room might finally wake up and watch it’s handiwork.

Being limited as an AI on a warship, it might, say, I don’t know, send vague and cryptic messages to various opposing intelligence organizations. Possibly it had communication with that whole Death Cult that formed around it and lived in the swamp where it lived. Maybe it sent them some messages too, once the coast was clear, and the Eternal Fleet was no longer in opposition to it, now that it’s unwitting puppet had taken out every Zakuulan who had sat on the throne controlling it.

Or you know, Theron changed his clothes for the first time in his fucking life, threw on his Evil Cloak of Evil™, and said “Sorry bitches! It’s Apocalypse time! God I love dying horribly! Mwah ahahaha!” and rigged a train to explode. Because he’s just Extra™ like that I guess!

I mean, you know, who can say which theory is right? The straightforward one we’ve been led to believe with the 5.4 datamining retconning five years of character development for a pointless shocking twist, or the one with an ancient evil sentient warship that just wants to watch the Galaxy burn? I mean, they both have arguments in their favor, amirite?

Because I mean, I don’t know about you, but the only thing more bizarre than Theron being the traitor all along would be that we weren’t betrayed by a person all along, and no matter how many people Theron and Lana interrogated would they discover the culprit. Because who would think to turn to that giant hunk of metal parked outside and say “Hey buddy, sent any super secret encrypted transmissions with that intelligence we forgot about for 1.5 expansions?”

We were betrayed. By a fucking warship. OUR GODDAMN SHIP HAS BEEN PLAYING US ALL ALONG WHAT THE HELL BIOWARE I’M LAUGHING AND CRYING THIS IS SO INSANE IT CAN’T BE TRUE

Join me next time in “Insane Theory Land that Will Not Be True”, as I argue that Tenebrae/Vitiate/Valkorion, Master Manipulator and Devourer of Worlds was outsmarted and used by a sentient spaceship because lolololol. And—OH WAIT ONE LAST THING:

Back to Tyth’s speech. At the very beginning he says this: I AM ONE OF SIX. THE SIX BOW TO NO ONE.

The six gods in the Zakuul Pantheon: Izax, Scyva, Tyth, Aivela, Esne, Nahum. Zildrog isn’t included in that. Some believe he’s another form of Izax, the chief among the Old Gods. I’m nowhere near my PC right now and can’t double-check who is listed on the Iokath Operation, but… it was five bosses, not six right? Am I correct in remembering that Izax wasn’t listed?

Because there’s another funny thing about Izax you guys. There’s this whole “Watcher Izax” that’s mentioned by the guard captain in Chapter 6 who had gone off to the Core Worlds and didn’t come back. And then there’s Guss’s recruitment mission, where his master is named “Isaac”, and when we get back from that Sana Rae is very clear that there’s something very powerful, and very dangerous about this guy.

EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED. UP IS DOWN. NORTH IS SOUTH. WAKE UP SHEEPLE YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT.

(Okay I’m probably wrong.)

I mean, there are a lot of questions that still need to be answered: Why did the Gravestone start attacking the Eternal Fleet? If it’s part of the fleet, why is it the only Iokath ship, that looks different from all the rest by the by, that doesn’t need a Gemini droid to control it? Why did the Gods go to sleep? Why didn’t the Gravestone just wake itself up? Is the mud on Zakuul that sticky? The world may never know.

[beardcore-blog]

Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus Review

This review will have all the spoilers. You’ve been warned.

It was either late 2013 or early 2014. Good times. I was messing around on Youtube one day looking at videos of the latest Batman game. Then in the recommended videos I saw something that both confused and intrigued me. The thumbnail was the iconic image of Niel Armstrong saluting the American flag he just planted on the moon. Except there were a couple differences. Twisted, terrifying differences. The American flag was replaced with the banner of Nazi Germany. And Niel was Seig Heil’ing to it. I’m pretty sure I let out an audible "what the fuck?" apon seeing this. This was the E3 trailer for Wolfenstein: The New Order. For those who don’t know, Wolfenstein is one of the oldest franchises in gaming, and put FPS games on the map. A goofy game about shooting Nazis in WWII that gave 90s gamers the chance to shoot the hell out of Mecha-Hitler. Think of it as a prototype to the more infamous Doom series that would launch shorty after. The New Order was a modern-day reboot with some ambitious questions. The biggest one being "what if they won instead?" The New Order takes you to an alternate 1960 where the Nazis beat the allied forces to the nuke (among other advanced tech) and thus took over the world. It was grim. It was campy. It was subtle. It was loud. It was dumb. And it was also much smarter and more engaging than anyone would’ve thought. So it went on to be a smash hit in 2014, and one of my favorite games ever. A few months ago to the day this is being posted, Bethesda stopped by E3 and showed the world it was sequel time, showing off Wolfenstein 2 The New Colossus (Actually like the 3rd or 5th in the series) to the world. The next day I preordered the hell out of it. Was it worth it? Well after 10 days of tearing through it, lemme tell you.

So I’ll start off with things I didn’t like, get the negativity out of the way. It’s not a big list but I think what on it is valid. In The New Order, which I shall now abbreviate as TNO, in nearly all sections you could either go in fast and loud, putting holes in everything that moves with dual automatic shotguns and a big laser cannon. Or you could be a bit more stealthy about things, sneaking through vents and corridors putting knives in throats and taking care of problematic enemies from afar with a suppressed pistol (which might I mention was one of the things I loved about the TNO; keeping the pistol relevant and not just a forgettable starter weapon like most shooters). It was all about personal play style, but both options were viable. In The New Colossus, which I shall now abbreviate as TNC, going in loud was the way I always went because it seemed more viable. And I always went stealth in TNO. I probably just need to learn the areas, but there was some problems I ran into. Like this game being dark. Not story wise (even though it is) but literally. I remember alot of areas meant to be stealth-able lacking in the lighting department, and I set my brightness at the recommended settings, too. Anytime I’d get caught it’d be from and enemy that I couldn’t see. And that leads to another problem. In TNO, enemies stuck out in the maps. Even if they were dully-colored humaniods coming in plentiful shades of gray you’d still spot them from across the area. It was probably due to both TNO being brighter and the enemies having a wide design variety. Not so much in the TNC. There’s less design variety here and they all seem to just blend into the background alot. Even the brightly-colored HAZMAT and Venus space troopers don’t pop in anything less than Glamour Magazine photo booth. On top of that those two previously mentioned troopers, while being obvious separate models apon inspection, honestly just look like classic Mortal Kombat-esque palette swaps. Again, TNO had alot of variety in their designs. Which is why it was a shame there was no proper model viewer in TNO, and why it’s straight-up bullshit their isn’t one in TNC. One of my favorite bits of last year’s DOOM (another Id games classic updated for the modern world) was a model viewer that let you get an up-close look at the game’s monsters and weapons. The Batman: Arkham games have had it for years. Hell, I remember having them back in 2005 with Jak III. Why can’t Wolfenstein, with their toybox of greatly-designed characters, weapons and assets have it? Or a photo mode, too? I’m not insane about graphics in games, but I still appreciate them with how incredible they are today, and TNC is no exception. It’s a beautiful game. Let me appreciate it to the fullest extent possible. Honestly these days model viewers and photo modes are something all games should have with how far graphics have gone. If only bosses got the same advancement. TNO had a few that aren’t Psycho Mantis or Big Baby Bowser levels, but they were fun nonetheless. DOOM’s bosses were one of the highlights for me. TNC has none of those. Here and then there’s an enemy that can act as a sort-of miniboss, but their’s nothing big and climactic like TNO’s showdown with the towering London Monitor, or the final showdown with the main antagonist, General Deathshead. The "final boss" of TNC is more of a gauntlet than anything. 3 pairs of Supersoldiers, a higher-powered but still common enemy assisted by a shitload of standard infantry, finished off by 2 "Zerstörers", which are basically super versions of the Supersoldiers (I call them "Super-duper Soliders"). The main antagonist of the game, General Engel, goes down with one melee attack, only vainly defending herself with a pistol. An outdated pistol by both the game’s and IRL standards. In a game where mechs, actual Avengers Helicarriers and boimechanically-enhanced mutants are possible, you’d expect so much more. Especially with Hitler himself making an appearance. I was really looking forward to a modern-day Mecha-Hitler. Not sure if I’d want bosses to worry about though since something as simple as getting your weapons out can be a pain. In TNO you could dual wield nearly every weapon in the game, but you could only dual wield two of the same gun. In TNC dual wield returns, for every weapon you can carry, and you can interchange between them. And while it has it’s uses for sure, it feels kinda clunky, not to mention slow. TNC takes it’s sweet time letting you change your weapons which can be fatal, especially since this game carries over a problem TNO had in that you’re not exactly warned when your current ammo’s about to run dry and you’re gonna get lit up while changing a clip.

Now to the good, which I assure you outweighs the bad. Lemme start by saying that the gunplay feels as fantastic as before. Every gun has kick and you feel it whenever you see a Nazi get turned to mush by your triple-barreled automatic rotary shotgun. Yes, that’s a thing in this game. As is a pistol-sized grenade launcher. And sticky-bomb launcher. And an OP-as hell laser cannon that atomizes people and metal covers/doors alike. And all of these can be powered-up through upgrades. The Shotgun can be upgraded to have ricochet rounds to deal even more damage. The pistol can have a suppressor so it stays useful like it did in TNO. The Assault Rifle can have both a scope and armor piercing rounds making it able to down mechanical enemies in one shot. And the laser cannon. Oh god the Laser cannon. Called the LaserkraftWerk in the game, it’s by far the best weapon you’ll get, even before upgrades. One shot will destroy even more armored infantry, but when you upgrade it so the blast can be charged, ooooooohhh. One charged blast will down Super soldiers with ease, and even on higher difficulties the powerful Zerstörer units I mentioned earlier will fall with a few good shots. Combo this with an extended battery doubling your already-decent ammo pool, And you’re unstoppable. I guess that leads to another issue. While every gun has their uses and you’ll likely use every one at one point, like DOOM before it you’ll probably cruise along primary’ing 2 guns. For me it was the Shotgun and Laserkraftwerk. But even then they weren’t the weapons I used the most. It was the heavy weapons. In TNO there was a Heavy MG you’d find here and there. It was powerful, sure, but could only be picked up and not carried in your inventory, and slowed you down considerably. You couldn’t sprint and crouching reduced you to a snail’s pace, and interacting with anything would make you drop it. In TNC there’s 4 types of heavy weapons and they’re awesome. They still slow you down but nowhere near the TNO’s. You CAN interact with stuff and you can even sprint with them. Doesn’t sound like much but believe me, that makes a world of difference. Another thing that gives you an edge in combat is the contraptions. There’s 3 in total; The Ram Shackles, which allow you to bash through both weak walls and enemies alike, the Constrictor Harness, which allows you to sneak around in tight spaces, and the Battle Walker, my favorite, which is just some goddamn stilts. They let you get to higher places so its not anywhere as useless as it sounds, but also has perks, like the other contraptions. You’ll be able to tank explosions without falling over, make enemies freeze n terror at the sight of you, and even keep your overcharged health from going down, my favorite. Speaking of health, one thing that makes the newer Wolfenstein and Doom games is the lack of regenerating health. You have to find health and armor in the levels, and this returns in TNC. One addition though is instead of having to pick up stuff manually, walking over health and armor pieces will make you pick it up automatically, though manually picking them up like before is still an option. It admitting needs refinement but it works well enough. It’s nice after a firefight were I took a beating, I remember where a health pack or some armor was, I run to that location, and I already have some extra heath/armor on me when I get there from the bits that was lying around. While I did say that their isn’t much variety in the enemie’s designs, the designs that are there are good, and carry over that retrofuturistic asthetic I loved so much about TNO. My favorites are either the Ubersoldat, with is basically a Nazi T-800, or the previously-mentioned Zerstörer. Enemy behavior is much better in this game too. In TNO during a stealth section if an enemy ran into a dead body, they’d just move along like something happened. In TNC, enemies are much more sharp. Anything louder and light sniffle they’re hear and investigate, and if they find a dead body they go into high alert and start hunting for you. The levels are incredible too, truly feeling and looking like a 1960s America under Nazi control. The level layouts in this game are kinda funny. In TNO a new level was an entirely new location. In TNC, multiple levels are across one location. This is due to the levels being so much more vast than TNO if anything. My favorite level is either the Nazi base on Venus (the actual planet), or Manhattan, which was directly hit by a Nazi nuke in WWII and is now a desolate, irradiated wasteland. You could feel how thick and cancerous the air is, and the devastated buildings have their upper skeletons eerily bent and curled from the blast. Fallout fans will have a bit of deja vu going through it. All these locales help guide the story along, which like TNO before it is a standout part of the game. TNC takes place right after TNO more or less, after the main character, BJ Blazcowiz, is mortally injured in his big battle with General Deathshead. You’re saved by your resistance buddies before they nuke the place, but you’re still messed up. After 5 months in a coma, the game finally starts. With you shooting Nazis on a U-boat you captured previously in a wheelchair. For half the game the only reason you’re able fight again is thanks to a power suit wired to BJ’s brain. Even while you’re fighting BJ’s injuries are taking their toll. By his own estimate, he has weeks. Which is tragic to think about since in TNO, he met Anya Oliwa, a nurse who took care of him during a prior comatose, and eventual lover. By the time TNC rolls around, she’s heavily pregnant with BJ’s twins. Not being their for his kids is something BJ laments a few times, and you feel for him. Especially when you learn about his awful childhood at the beginning of the game. He deserves a good family, and it sucks he’ll never get that. And for a bit it really seemed like that he wouldn’t since midway through the game, BJ’s betrayed by his abusive, racist, Nazi-loving father who make his childhood such a shitshow, and is captured by Nazi forces. After a few weeks of parading "Terror Billy" The most horrible terrorist the world has ever seen according to the Nazi propaganda machine, BJ is executed in front of the Nazified Lincoln memorial to an audience of millions. Beheaded, it really seems like the game took a grim turn. Luckily due to the quick work of his aforementioned buddies in the resistance and some advanced tech, BJ is saved, if head slapped onto a new super soldier body. This brings up something that some reviewers had an issue with. TNC goes through a tone shift in story midway through the game. It starts out very grim and foreboding. Your base was attacked, the leader of the resistance is murdered right in front of you, America seems like it’s perfectly fine living under the Nazi’s boot, BJ is crippled and basically expecting death, and his unborn kids seem like they won’t have a dad. Even in gameplay things feel grim at first. Even with the power suit giving double armor you can’t escaped the halved health. You really feel like you’re playing a crippled character. BJ himself puts it out there pretty good. "I take it off, I’m afraid I’ll fall apart and all the pieces won’t fit back together again." Then he loses that body and gains one that can actually move on it’s own power and then some. BJ is basically reborn. stronger than ever. It makes sense that the game would kick up to a more upbeat tone. You’re a new man, more powerful than ever before. This can be done. You can save the world. This upbeat attitude peaks at the birthday party scene. Just before the final assault, it turns out it’s BJs birthday, so what do you and your resistance buddies do? Party like theirs no tomorrow, because for all they know there might not be. If their’s one thing I like in a story it’s reminding me that the character I’m playing and the characters around them are people, and not by just showing me their trauma and flaws. Every character in Wolfenstein already has those in spades. I’m more for seeing them having fun. Being happy. Enjoying eachother’s company. Take me out of the misery for once and remind me that their’s something good in the world. Not to say seeing smiles on their faces is what made them good characters. Every major character is pretty good in this game. Grace Walker, The new resistance leader and black revolutionary front member is pretty much a female Samuel L. Jackson. General Engel, The game’s antagonist, is the perfect villain in that you want nothing more but to see her get what’s coming to her. Super Spesh, Grace’s husband and crackpot alien conspiracy theorist, gives some good comic relief for the time he’s around. And Anya. Fucking Anya. Loyal, smart, and considering the crazy shit she does while carrying twins in her, may be more badass than BJ himself. And even with the grim beginnings don’t think this game takes itself too seriously. In one level, right after BJ monologues to himself about his imminent mortality, he (and us) get a first glimpse at the Nazi’s rocket-powered train system. Something he immediately responds to with basically "what the fuck?". After nuking the Nazi high command in fucking Roswell, BJ escapes on what’s pretty much the monocycle from Men In Black. Before BJ’s head is slapped onto his new body, it’s dropped in a jar like Futurama. That Venus level I mentioned earlier? You get there on a Nazi flying saucer. And again, stilts. One of your upgrades is big, stompy stilts.

Overall out of all the recent iD software games to hit the scene lately, I’d say DOOM is my favorite. But I’ll give it to The New Colossus. With a few bumps here and their it’s just as fun to play as it’s predecessor, and improves in most areas. Overall, yes, it’s a step up from The New Order, and if you want a fun, absurd shooter with a good story to tell, look no further,

Posted by SHARPSPEED on 2017-11-08 21:23:49

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