#McWexler parenthood AU

[thekimspoblog]

I'm sure there's something I could do with this.

concept!!! "there's only one bed" fic but set in here

[thekimspoblog]

Been meaning to write a post for weeks, about how Iris literally doesn't believe truth exists. And how this was the actual danger of letting Wexler-McGill procreate. Kim and Jimmy at least believe in the truth even as they bend, break, and bury it; they know when they're doing wrong. Iris has spent their whole life growing up watching history be written by the winners, to the point that they believe unless any evidence to the contrary surfaces, whatever you say happened might as well have actually happened. If it's for the greater good, they hardly even think of it as lying.

[thekimspoblog]

Some clarification on the FotD series.

A fan complained that the plot of my "Fantasy of the Day" series for the BCS/McWexler fandom was really hard to follow. And that's... not their fault at all; the plot is hard to follow because there really isn't one singular plot.

The Premise: The first thing that you need to understand, is that the FotDs are just fluff-n-angst snippets I pull out of a proverbial hat. Usually, I come up with the idea for a scene which would look cool, and fill out the details of the backstory later. So if one of the stories in my posts comes across as vague or self-contradictory, that's why; I'm making it up as I go. And usually instead of better explaining a premise, I'll just move onto another one.

The Setting: Season 1 of my "Slippin' Kimmy" fanfic has a more set-in-stone story arc: In a single sentence, Kim joins a cult. Season 1 is set in rural Wyoming between the fall of 2016 and the spring of 2017, but most of the FotDs are set anytime between 2017 and Kim's eventual death. I have no strong opinions yet for what should happen in Season 2, and so the FotDs are all just spitball ideas for plots which might happen. It's a running gag how frequently Kim is forced to uproot her life and move to a new city, so an FotD might be set anywhere in the world.

The Main Character: Kim has been promoted to the occupation of "fixer" in the Breaking Bad universe. Her updated business card reads "Wexler-McGill: Image Consulting", but her services run the gauntlet of: off-the-record legal advice, schmoozing politicians and business people, orchestrating media circuses and publicity stunts, hiring hacktivists, delivering mysterious packages, laundering money, bookkeeping for philanthropic organizations, bodyguard work, P.I. work, sabotaging weapons manufacturing facilities, organizing protests, smuggling Mifepristone and Estradiol into red states, renovating and flipping failing shopping malls and entertainment venues, and much more miscellaneous espionage. Assassinations are a line which Kim will never cross willfully, but she is frequently caught in the crossfire when white-collar criminals try to take eachother out.

The Romantic Lead: Jimmy's story is over, but he's not willing to ever leave her, so he has no choice but to come along for the ride. He's finally living the dream of going into business with his wife, and he joins her on roughly half her adventures, but at this point excitement is something he could take or leave. He takes pride in playing the role of the homemaker, and his love for his children often motivates him to be the voice of caution. He supports and agrees with Kim's so-called "Revolution" - the subversion of unjust laws, the redistribution of wealth, the sabotaging of hate-groups - but whenever the heat gets too hot, he will make the tough but pragmatic decision for one or both of them to go into hiding again. Kim is wearing some golden plot-armor in this story, but Jimmy's mortality looms over almost every FotD. Not only does Jimmy simply want to make the most of how ever much time he has left, but there is a palpable threat that sooner or later he will be stuffed into a freezer for the sake of creating drama for Kim. If they could have it their way, they'd explore the cosmos forever as a pair of ageless trickster gods, but the spouses both know that in all likelihood she will outlive him.

The Prodigy: In this spin-off, Jimmy and Kim have two children; Iris and Fille. The oldest child, Iris, is barely even my OC; they are the most obvious answer to the question "What would the McWexler baby be like?". All their best and worst qualities in one precocious brunette imp. Quick-witted and silver-tongued, a born performer with sticky fingers, both figuratively and literally. Iris comes out as non-binary in their preteens and is accepted pretty immediately, but for the record any FotD which refers to Iris as "she/her" is canonically an example of their parents misgendering them because they didn't know any better. While Kim is out doing her adult career of... being the protagonist in an AMC series, Jimmy and Iris spend most days doing their best impressions of Moses Pray and Addie Loggins. Admittedly, Jimmy could be doing more to teach Iris respect for the rules as well, but there's something more sinister going on with the dynamic between Kim and Iris. Kim wants Iris to be prepared for whatever life throws at them, and to a certain extent she wants to see Iris continue her work, and because of that Iris shoulders a heavy burden. Kim is for the most part vindicated; Iris grows up to be a survivor and a forager, even as a drought deals a killing blow to American democracy, and they do follow in their mother's footsteps as best they can, but it's still bitter-sweet.

The Black Sheep in a Family of Wolves: Like I said, the FotDs are just random snippets pulled anywhere from a broad-strokes timeline, and because of that the ages of the children vary wildly. However Fille (pronounced "Philly") is consistently written as being two years younger than Iris, and in many fantasies, the children are between six and four. Even at an early age, not much is known about Fille because she is an introverted child, but as she gets older, this evolves into being a clear foil to Iris. Where Iris will talk your ear off, Fille listens patiently and only speaks up when something is truly wrong. Where Iris will bend the truth just for fun, Fille's silence should never be interpreted as a love for secrets. Iris's moral code is flexible so long as altruism and self-interest overlap; Fille's morality is rigid to the point of being childish, but at least it keeps her out of trouble. Iris loves meat, whereas Fille... honestly, Kim respects Fille's conviction to vegetarianism... but it was a phase Kim went through once upon a time too, and she grew out of it.

The Villain: This is probably where most of the confusion is stemming from. In Season 1 of SK, Caleb Dawson and the Riverton Unitarian Interfaith Church are the antagonists, but by the end of the season, Dawson is dead, his henchwoman Mary is at large, and Kim has taken control of the Church's resources. I haven't quite decided what will become of the loose thread with Mary, but the Church's money and credibility will only last until shorty after Fille is born (2 years). Beyond that point, I don't have any specific Big Bads lined up. Kim will follow the trajectory of getting into bed with shady characters (this time to push an agenda), enjoying working with/for this client for a stint, then eventually having to defeat them in a battle of wits when the alliance goes sour but the villain won't let Kim back out of her contract because she knows too much. Let's face it; this was always Breaking Bad's formula. When it comes to the FotDs, sometimes I'll just steal villains-of-the-week wholecloth from other similar tv shows.

The Vibe: The villains all blur together after a while for Kim. As do the schemes she does, both for and against them. Just like the places she visits: one night she might be seeing opera in Tokyo, the next she and her family have had their assets frozen and are sleeping in their car. One night, they're caretakers of a too-trusting hippy's goat farm, the next she's alone sleeping on the cold cement of some kingpin's dungeon. The point of the FotDs is to juxtapose the opulent world of murder and intrigue with the peace and quiet of the domestic life Kim is trying to defend against all external threats. In her most caricatured form, Kim Wexler is a 90's pantsuit archetype who, by some cosmic mistake, lived to see the 2020's. She's a pragmatist; she knows what she values and she keeps her attention on those things. In "Better Call Saul", she never quite figured out a good work-life balance, but last time around, she had put her faith in institutions which didn't value her time or share her priorities; this time she's only trusting herself to manage the resources. The American Dream may be crumbling, but she is still determined to "have it all".

@somethin-stupid-67 @joshgoodman @slippinximi @richeeduvie

[thekimspoblog]

FotD 1:

@joshgoodman: Thinking of some ideas currently; I've had this one circling my head. Somehow kim and Jim find themselves camping out like the kettlemans did (without the stolen money) to avoid being found by (insert threat here). Iris and fille are around 8 and 6 respectively

Me: That'd be cute! Fighting with trying to set up the tent, Kim would probably do most of it; Jimmy's threatening to slip a disk. Fille keeps asking what the hell we're actually doing out here. Iris tells her not to ask stupid questions.

"Iris, don't call your sister stupid"

"I'm not! I said her question was! There's a difference!"

Did they bring any food?

Me: In my timeline, one of the main tragic things is how this life weighs on Kim's sanity. She never really got over the trauma of the cartel following her back in '04, that's when the sheepdog dreams started; that's when she started believing in God, simply because she felt like someone or something was watching her and plotting against her at all times. Especially after Jimmy dies, paranoia really starts to consume her. She becomes a powerful mob boss nearing the end of her life, but no amount of security measures bring her peace of mind. Once Jimmy's out of the picture, things start to get a little Howard Hughes.

But yeah, even while he's around, he is sometimes worried she's getting neurotic, but it's not like he can't empathize; he never stopped looking over his shoulder either. Out here in the woods, every rustle in the grass could be a mountain lion or worse.

Him: They brought enough food for a week, but then they'd have to catch and cook their own. Which Jimmy might have an issue with. I think a mountain lion would be the least of their worries, it can be scared away; a cartel member with a gun/intent to hurt kim/her family isn't as easily scared away.

Me: Why do you think Jimmy would have a problem? Just not very good at hunting/fishing?

Kim considered taking a gun, but they both decided it would create more problems than it would solve. Even if Fille or Iris don't play with it, firing off a wild shot into the bushes could be a really bad idea; they're hiding from the law on fraud/extortion/other non violent charges. If she accidentally shot a cop who was coming to arrest them, now they're both back to looking at life. Not losing custody is always the top priority.

Even killing a "Made" man/woman would just incite retaliation. If the mafia kills them, best to just pray they'll spare the kids. Starting a shoot out would just be loud and dangerous.

I guess if they really believed the kids were in danger, they would have to give them up and leave them with someone, but thankfully it's never come to that.

Him: Based off of Jimmy's character, I'd think he'd have a terrible time hunting and fishing, yea. Also, he might have an issue with killing the animal he's able to retrieve.

I think kim would settle for a bow? Not sure if she has an archery background; iris would LOVE that. Fille could care less. But who would they leave them with, is the question? Mike is dead, so is dawson. The church is questionable

Me: I don't think Jimmy would have a problem killing an animal. He might be squeamish, but he was never a pacifist or vegetarian.

Highly doubt they would have thought to bring archery supplies. If they run out of food, they should just head back into town.

And when all else fails, they always have the option to call a social worker themselves. They REALLY don't want to do that, they've been trying to keep the kids safe off the grid. But nothing is worth endangering their lives. Even Fille would be unhappy in that arrangement.

Pretty sure "My parents only abandoned me because they're traveling con artists. But they promised they were coming back once the mob boss is dead" is foster home for "please beat me up for telling such outrageous lies".

Iris would look out for Fille, but who's looking out for poor Iris?  In the eyes of any conformist parent or teacher, Iris would be labeled a troubled child with behavioral issues. Even if their foster parents accepted their queerness, and that's a big if, nobody's going to listen to their indoctrination about the reasons shoplifting is a public good. Probably end up getting put on Ritalin or some shit.

Still, as long as Iris knew where they came from, why they feel this way all the time,they could at least try to fit in. In the timeline where Iris was born in 2005 and Kim gave them up out of guilt for what happened to Howard, Iris's life was terrible; just grew up confused and angry. Tarzan might not know what a human is, but he would still know he wasn't an ape. Kim saw these futures; even aborting them would be less cruel than leaving them to be raised by someone else. Iris needed their parents; they were the only ones who understood, the only ones who could shape this overgrown hedge of wild energy into a countercultural topiary. No matter what other childhood trauma they absorbed, the worst thing you could ever do is leave them without direction or purpose.

Him: Squeamish, that's the word I was looking for. But if it comes to survival, what wouldn't he do for his family?

Him: I wonder if the social worker would be an option? Kim wouldn't want to put the kids through that, they would find the best option one way or another.

Ah yes, Ritalin. Or as I like to call it, the zombie drug. That shit doesn't work and fuck any doctor who puts kids on it

Me: No matter what happens, at least Iris and Fille have eachother. It's not that Fille can't feel that Wexler-McGill blood in their veins; Fille is different from Iris by choice, not nature. But as the youngest in the family, as the last one always in pool when it comes to mischief, she can see how recklessness never leads to anything good.

Fille is better at pretending to be a "good kid" but she'd still feel deeply alone without her big sibling.

If she was left alone, Fille would probably be a troublemaker too. She's only such a square and a goody-goody because that's the only way she could have rebelled in a family of rebels.

Him: Ah, so fille chooses to be a goody two shoes because that's not what people expect when they see that family.

I don't think they would be apart for long, even separated by the foster care system if it came to that. Those two would always find a way back to each other

Me: Main problem is Jimmy and Kim don't want to admit failure a first time, because CPS is going to be breathing down their neck from then onward. For some reason, as long as the kids are biologically yours, most bizarre parenting choices are accepted as long as the government hasn't already labeled you a bad mother.

When Love Quinn was brought back by Dolores, the thing she wanted most was to see Henry again. But Dante and Lansing are good dads, and showing up in Henry's life now would just upset and confuse him. Admitting that she deserved to lose custody of her son was the hardest thing she's had to do, but it's for the best to just move on, try to be better moving forward.

Him: Do Love and Henry ever reunite? Or are those days behind them?

Me: Probably when Henry is older.

Iris probably would ask for archery lessons after reading the Hunger Games. Iris was always outdoorsy, but this probably is just a phase.

Him: What kind of phase would fille go through, if you had to guess?

Me: Well both siblings do have an interest in music. Iris learned to play the guitar from Jimmy; Fille would probably go ahead and find herself a piano teacher.

Him: I feel like iris would also take an interest in drums, maybe?

Me: Sounds about right.

I mean Jimmy and Kim want to encourage their hobbies. This is what the money is for.

Him: Iris would take an interest in archery, drums, and guitar while fille does piano, and maybe...swimming?

Me: Yes Fille loves the ocean. Probably cus of that goldfish soul.

Him: Ooh! Kayaking!

Me: I think Iris would be more into motor boats

Him: Boats are fun. Maybe they could take a vacation to the great lakes/some type of beach.

FotD 2:

Me: I guess yesterday I was also thinking about them making a big score, and then taking the kids shopping for new clothes. The kids complain, but it's still fun dressing them up like little dolls.

Him: I didn't think iris would go for that? Maybe fille

Me: Well Iris has always loved dress up, but plain clothes shopping is always a little boring for kids.

Me: Kim saying "Try this one on. It's a little bit big but you'll grow into it... hmm no; that's actually too big, you'll be tripping and face planting all over"

Me: But yes, those two love shopping for the family. I mean Jimmy and Kim have been eachothers gay best friend stereotypes since all the way back to law school, but the last time they actually spent a substantial amount of money like this was a few years ago at Babies-R-Us. Since leaving the church, it's mostly been consignment shops. Nothing fancy that wasn't secondhand.

Which is why they want to get each of the four of them a new outfit that will last for next few years

Him: I don't think jim + kim would contribute to chains if they didn't have to. Always choosing places like goodwill over walmart

Me: Nah they'd still go somewhere nice. Kim's love for shiny things outweighs her communist sympathies.

She wants to pretend she's not materialistic, but low-maintenance bitches don't drink thousand dollar tequila or wear real gold.

I mean Goodwill is fine and all, but this is Prada man! She's only human!

Honestly Kim's hypocrisy with how she identifies with class I think is a really interesting facet of her personality.

This is why wealth redistribution campaigns always fail: first of all, in order to adequately navigate the upper class, the revolutionary already typically needs a middle class education or better. And second, even if an army does manage to steal from the rich, the leader finds it hard to actually give those winnings to the poor instead of just pocketing it. Kim hates rich people... except for herself; that person is a lucid and benevolent matriarch who DESERVES to be managing the money!

[thekimspoblog]

Fantasy du jour is McWexler taking Iris and Fille to this hell hole. Between choking down bites of cardboard pizza and lemonade, Kim and Jimmy speculate how much longer this franchise can avoid bankruptcy. These types of entertainment centers aren't profitable unless it's a front for something more legally dubious; Jimmy would know. Fucking laser tag.

Iris is 1000% going to get sick from going in the germ tubes, but meh, can't coddle their immune system forever.

[thekimspoblog]

My mutuals and I DNGAF

[thekimspoblog]

Kim doesn't scream. She doesn't berate. She doesn't resort to physical discipline. She's never needed to. She can impart so much mom-guilt with just a disappointed look and a few cutting words. A command for obedience disguised as her having "faith that you'll make the right choice". If she really was such a warm and loving person, then why did Iris grow up so afraid of her? Why was everyone so afraid of her? Love was unconditional, but friendship required being able to read her mind.

[thekimspoblog]

Fanart by @vaasm of my "August 2017" one-shot. Yes it's a medical anomaly still being able to conceive at 49. But so was someone going into remission after Stage 3 cancer. Improbable =/= impossible.

@foreveranevilregal @mcwexlerscigarette @richeeduvie @karisutasan @nothingwithmilk @jimmiekimmie @jrkyy @somethin-stupid-67 @neonjstr @2entangledworms

[thekimspoblog]

Are you guys nuts?! He would be shoving that money in Kim's hands even as she insists it's blood money and she doesn't want it.

Listen, I've crunched the numbers on this one! His first two wives, he probably would have been a deadbeat dad. But in a timeline where Iris was born after Season 6? He would have killed or died for that kid. His life was meaningless without them.

Jimmy McGill/Saul Goodman from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul

[thekimspoblog]

I don't post about this often because this idea is still in development. But around Season 2 of "Slippin Kimmy", Kim finds out there is an FBI agent who has been keeping tabs on her little family circus, and he/she has been deliberately looking the other way about her and Jimmy's more minor crimes, specifically because the people Kim was targeting were already seen as enemies of the bureau anyway.

She's not sure how to feel. She's relieved someone swooped in and saved her ass before she got killed. And if the FBI aligns with her values, maybe that means the government isn't as incompetent as she thought.. But sitting back and letting criminals take eachother out instead of actually doing their jobs and intervening? It's just so slimy! And she hates learning that she wasn't as clever as she thought she was, that the odds were rigged in her favor, that she was a pawn.

[thekimspoblog]

The room was bathed in a warm, golden light, as if the very presence of the newborn had conjured it into being. The nurses smiled at each other, their faces aglow with happiness, as they carefully placed the tiny bundle on Kim's chest. The air was filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers, and the soft hum of a lullaby drifted through the air, as if the very spirits of the universe were singing in celebration of the new life that had arrived.

Kim's eyes widened in wonder as she gazed down at the tiny face that nestled into her chest. The baby's eyes were closed, but the soft, rose-petal lips were curled into a tiny smile, as if they were already aware of the love that surrounded them. The skin was smooth and unblemished, like the first blush of dawn on a summer morning, and the tiny hands were curled into fists, as if grasping for something just out of reach.

As Kim's fingers wrapped around the tiny wrist, a surge of electricity seemed to run through her body, and she felt a deep connection to this tiny being, as if they were somehow linked across time and space. The room seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, suspended in a world of their own, where time stood still and all that existed was the love and wonder of this magical moment.

Jimmy's voice was a gentle whisper in her ear, "She's beautiful, Kim. Just like you said." But Kim's eyes were fixed on the baby, drinking in the sight of the tiny, perfect face, and the sense of wonder that filled her chest was almost overwhelming. As she gazed down at the baby, she felt a sense of peace wash over her, as if all the turmoil and uncertainty of the past few months had been washed away, leaving only this pure, unadulterated joy.

[thekimspoblog]

@shywizardflower is still working on this one. But posting it now because Iris is supposed to be a Christmas baby.

[thekimspoblog]

Only if you want to talk mcwexler parenthood au

i need more brba/bcs mutuals ☹️☹️🤍🤍🤍

[thekimspoblog]

Jimmy loves Iris so freaking much. Looks so much like their mother. Every day, he can't believe he's allowed to live in a timeline where this family is real. His greatest fear is something happening to his babies. He'll face any consequences for his actions without complaint, so long as it never reaches the house where his children sleep. The price for this life was dire; he basically had to swear loyalty to a new world order, and a younger version of him wouldn't have been willing to do that in a million years. But it was worth it; having something to die for is better than drifting aimlessly.

[thekimspoblog]

[thekimspoblog]

Every summer, Jimmy takes Iris to the zoo (whatever zoo is close to them at the time). Iris's birthday is in the winter, but everything is closed so they wait until July. Naturally, Iris loves the gray wolves.

He's just beaming, watching them watch the animals. He really feels like this kid is his chance to do something right with his life; nobody else could be their dad.