#McLean being absolutely unhinged

[sipped-lapped-swilled]

Have you all seen this?? Three sleepy people tormenting interviewer for 6 minutes straight

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

most of the time, when i make tiktok comments (or comments on youtube or insta or, i guess, social media in general) my brain has me just Fucking Forget that im not in a one-on-one conversation with OP and other people can read what i say. thankfully: this comment is now deleted after i foolishly left it up on tiktok for five months

i dont mind leaving i leaving it up here though because this is tumblr. it fits the vibe. i can mute the post if worst comes to worst, whatever. i think its funny that my friends were more worried about Chris than a literal cockroach lol im just glad the og tiktok comment didnt break containment before i deleted it from there lol but here? this whole site is "containment", itll be fiiiiinnne ...probaabblllyyyy

bc, yeah, luckily, this comment got only 2 likes. it was from a tiktok made by @/nerdymixedpan about: monster fuckery "hear me out"s? golden, great choices, will be allowed to speak even if no one agrees, no one is worried about Tat at all for any of their picks. human "hear me out"s? Tat's wife worries "you just like freaky lil white boys" as Tat is fussed over

but yeah!! Tat's sentiment reminded me of "my childhood (with some lifelong, but not all) 'hear me out's, but it gets worse as we go along" powerpoint i made and showed my friends for powerpoint night. and so i made an admittance in the above comment that, AS A KID (NOT NOW), i had crushes on Chris Mclean from "Total Drama Island" and the Headless Roach Man (is apparently his official wiki name) from "Growing Up Creepie"

and i think, for me, part of it is "monster fuckery? Kaiden-Shenandoah, youve been rarely NOT rigidly asexual your whole life. nobody is going to worry about you loving monster-romances and scream at 'but what about their genitalia?! you cannot possibly want to fucking bed that Lovecraftian horror!!' or some shit, bc you dont have any interest in that, so it's kinda like 'eh... our friends have had worse significant others we have had to tolerate'. at least we dont have to picture how the fuck sex would work" (bc apparently allosexuals, i guess, picture how the hell the sex could work when sizing up a loved one's partner? and they have the audacity to call ME their "favorite lil freaky weirdo". im as "freaky" as freshly cleaned Barnes & Noble, fam, idk what the fuck youre on) and all of that somehow nullifies all possible grotesqueness or horror of my monster picks. like "i kicked my feet and giggled as a lil kid over a nonspeaking, headless, giant cockroach", y'know?? nothing. they give me fucking nothing lmao rip

put an irl cockroach, head or no head (nonspeaking regardless) that is normal-cockroach-size, in front of my friends? there'd be so much screaming. but i get it, sure, the cockroach character in the ppt is 2D animated and will never be real. an actual cockroach is, y'know, obviously real. i get the dissonance there. i do. i get it. im befuddled... but i do get it, yes

and yet somehow the same logic does not impact my human "hear me out"s as my friends went "WTF KAIDEN-SHENANDOAH, YOU CANT GET WITH THIS MAN, HE'S THE DEVIL". like?? okay. but the headless extremely tall cockroach with no speaking-lines who lives in a sewer is fine?? both of these guys are 2D animated. neither are real. still. one of these png files got me a "lmao you cannot be serious... i mean, i GUESS, sure? carry on" and the other png file got me a "KAIDEN-SHENANDOAH, ABSOLUTELY NOT, NO, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOURE DONE, NO, NOBODY'S HEARING YOU OUT, NO, NOPE, NO, SIT THE FUCK DOWN, LIKE HONESTLY, WTF". and, shockingly, it was the human man who got my friends kicking and screaming

granted, Chris absolutely is a stellar example of "if Satan was a mortal man" but also? s1 and s2 Chris was not so bad, he just did his job. he got unhinged as he stayed at that job. and im ngl im intrigued at the idea of how the fuck would this man function with something as benign yet allowing for obsession like a crush or being in love. but also? yeah, no, the straight-jacket and pillow-walled room i got put in for this one was warranted, yep, i get how i got here

[lcndonboysstuff]

do you have any favourites?

Yes! All HRs

"Lord of Scoundrels" by Loretta Chase : This one is easily a classic. You are gonna love the heroine, Jessica Trent. She absolutely takes no nonsense, and is very witty, very take charge heroine. The hero is very intimidating to others but not to her, and haha it's hilarious. Loretta Chase weaves every element perfectly - hilarity, wit, love, some sadness. Pls read this. Jessica is one of my most favorite heroines out there. There are multiple iconic scenes, but the scene where they meet, and the glove scene and the rain scene, and many others are my fav.

"What I Did For A Duke" by Julie Anne Long: This book is a delight! There is a very very very beautifully executed love triangle, so if that's not your thing, then absolutely fine, but love triangles aren't my things either (and I think I picked up this one cause I didn't know beforehand that there was going to be one). But this book is too good to worry about that. The hero, Duke of Moncrieffe, is a mature bastard (and I say that lovingly), and the heroine is smart herself. There's a scene where she lays down the hero's plan piece by piece to him, and he's like yeah, I planned to do this but now you know! Haha! This is one of those books where the heroine finds her voice too.

"Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake" by Sarah McLean: The heroine, Callie, is a spinster and one of impeccable character (no scandals!), so she goes on to list down 9 things she'd like to experience, like kissing someone, going to a tavern etc😂. So she went to her crush's house (crush of 10 freaking years!) and asked him to kiss her🤣. Well, you know the rest. Most Sarah McLean's books aren't quite historically accurate tho, but her writing is superb and draws you into the story, which are fun to read.

"A Wallflower Wager" by Tessa Dare: God this is hilarity incarnated or what! Heroine, Penny, is what you call quirky. She is awesome, and I'm biased towards her cause she's vegetarian, like myself, lol. She is an animal lover, and despite being an earl's daughter and living in the middle of Mayfair, she keeps like a dozen of animals (there is a list of animals she has rescued and given shelter in her home, and the hero is abso-freaking-lutely flummoxed after seeing that). One of the animals or birds is a parrot called Delilah, and IS SHE A CHARACTER! The hero is so sweet, too. He arranges a ball, and sets only vegetarian dishes on the menu, cause of her!!!!!!!!!

"10 Things I Hate About the Duke" by Loretta Chase: I love Loretta Chase. The heroine, Cassandra, is feared by all. She has a scathing tongue, and will not hold back. The hero, Duke of Ashmont, is a rake as rakes come. He is unhinged, in a funny and lovable way, and there was an incident at the very beginning, after which he's always like "Will you just for the love of God marry me?!" And she's like, "No, wtf! Absolutely not. My life will be miserable." And he's like, "Yea that's always great to hear😒." There's a scene where they were out at night together, and she needs a distraction to get inside her house, so he pretends to be drunk and sings a bawdy song outside.😂

Read the one (or multiple ones👀) that resonate with you the most! Then do tell how you liked or disliked it.♡

i think the first one is speaking to me the most.

not the second one because i cannot stand most love triangles. i feel like in the majority of them it’s so obvious which one the girl actually likes so what is the point lol.

[cloakedstoryteller]

Is Sally the ONLY parent of the Seven who didn’t go wack after their kid was born??? Let’s see:

Bad Parents:

Beryl Grace: Yeah. Neglected kids. Alcoholic. Verbally abusive, on the mild end. Literally sold Jason to Hera and had no idea what would happen. Thalia ran away. Died in a car crash while drunk. Her ghost (or at least semi accurate impersonation) tormented not only Thalia, but Jason.

Tristan McLean: Cool dude, until mythology is pulled out. Then proceeds to utterly break down. Also, a few nice moments with Piper don’t make up for being pretty neglectful and absent.

Marie Levesque: This woman. Oh jeez she rivals Beryl. Um, gets her daughter cursed by being greedy, blames Hazel. Verbally abusive. Took Hazel away from Pluto’s protection. Conspired with Gaia. Not intentionally awful, but was bitter and Hazel paid for it.

Before the Good Parents, Honorable Mentions:

Bad Parent Honorable Mention: Reyna’s unnamed dad. Her early backstory’s kinda fuzzy, but it was bad.

Good Parent Honorable Mention: Maria di Angelo. What a woman. Standing ovation. Ok, not letting Hades protect her was dumb, but what a badass. Good mom, brave lady.

Good Parent HM2: May Castellan. So brave and tragic. Tried to save Luke even after being driven crazy, and absolutely none of Luke’s crap is her fault. She was a better parent than some of the bad parents while crazy, and while a little unhinged, she clearly loved Luke.

Good Parents:

Dr. Frederick Chase: Mixed bag, but I think most of it was Annabeth’s insecurities and her stepmom’s disbelief. It’s easy to see how Annabeth’s stepmom, even knowing the truth, would downplay stuff like the spiders attacking Annabeth, making Frederick think Annabeth’s exaggerating, making Annabeth feel hurt, and spiraling from there. Dr. Chase pulled through, however, and saved his relationship with his daughter. Also helped search for Magnus, and gets Good Uncle points.

Esperanza Valdez: I mean, nobody’s a Sally Jackson, but Esperanza comes close. Amazing woman, great mother, clearly told Hera to fuck off after the furnace incident, that earns major kudos.

Emily Zhang: Awesome lady, can’t blame her for her terrible taste in men. Was surprisingly chill with her son’s life being tied to a stick. Had potato launchers in the attic of her mom’s house.

Sally Jackson: The woman, the myth, the legend. A queen among women. An absolute saint. Takes none of Poseidon’s bs. Knows her shit. Is Percy fucking Jackson’s mom. The crap she’s put up with. Smelly Gabe. I love Percy, but no way in Tartarus was he an easy kid. An angel and we all know it. Great taste in men when she’s not deliberately finding the biggest jackass around, as Poseidon’s one of the best parents in the pantheon and Paul’s a bamf who used Shakespearean fencing to take out some monsters.

hazel: you mean it’s not normal for moms to go insane after meeting the gods?

jason: …i’m probably the last person you should be talking to about this